Frog and feels tavern is open Share your feels happy or sad,

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>>34541440
I'll have a rum, please.

>Why am I so lazy? I'm smart, go to uni, but really put as little effort in it as possible, 'cause I enjoy doing nothing

>>34541466
I'm the same way. We gotta think about the future, work hard now and we could potentially enjoy a lot more free time later

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>>34541466
do you have any aspirations today i wrote a list of things that i want to do everyday i want to be able to do at least three of those each day
i did 50 pushups today over an hours time and now i feel pretty good and ive got a good story coming soon

I'd like a glass of milkshake.

>Went to a bar years ago with two friends
>Everyone got drinks
>I don't drink (not a muslim)
>Ordered a milk shake
>Server laughed at me and said they didn't have one
>ended up getting a coke for 3 dollars.

>>34541440
Beer thanks.

I'm about to take my first steps toward achieving an extremely mundane yet impossible dream. Complete waste of time but at least on my deathbed all alone I'll be able to say I tried.

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>>34541517
why don't you drink annon
>>34541521
tell us your dream

Had a bad falling out with the girl I'm crazy about, she texted some really nasty shit to me the other night didn't even respond to her. We don't speak to each other anymore. We sort of had a thing going for a bit. Now she has been staying with my friend because she her living situation is fucked. Almost certain that she's whoring herself out to him, she spends all day everyday with him and has been posting really slutty pictures of herself on social media. he was so into me just two weeks ago and were not even friends.

>>34541440
vodka enema please

why do I put things up my ass

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>>34541440
good day barkeep, let's have a good one

>>34541466
right with ya buddy, on uni as well as some rum. cheers


im going to continue writing a song. it's been a while since something decent has left my hands

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>>34541549
What did she say anon
>>34541560
And because you enjoy it i don't see anything wrong with it but just keep it private

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>>34541586
That sounds good
Have you got a sneak peak

>>34541633
Basically called me a bitch and told me to go fuck myself

Give me an old fashion bar keep

I'm feeling alright after my morning rituals

>>34541440
barkeep here i'll start
Something strange happened to me tonight so lets go
>be me at first time i can remember
>live in shitty bad neighborhood White trash everywhere
>my mom befriends a trash neighbor because my mum was really nice and
was always trying to help people
>she has 2 kids
>both girls
>we hung out a lot slept over so many times
>In grade 5 we move away
>mum passes away
>forward 7-9 years to today
>She added me on facebook
>she's 15 and i think she has a crush on me
Cont?

>>34541546
>acquire a visa to live in Japan permanently (currently living there)
>move to one of those small towns full of old people, surrounded by wilderness
>spend my days working a menial job having fun chatting with the old people
>as I get to know them start spending more and more time becoming part of the community and helping everyone out
>my days and nights are spent living life at a slow pace surrounded by relatively friendly old people enthused that a responsible, helpful youngster's come
>frequently get drunk and talk shit with the old guys all night
>I finally find a place I belong in the world
>I can finally be part of a community

bonus dream
>through the community, get one of the old people's relatives as a gf
>eventually marry and start living my slow-paced life with a loving wife and (possibly) children
>I dote on my family and they dote on me
>life is slow and peaceful

Unfortunately I'm a robot so it's impossible and I'm not eligible for any permanent visas, it would literally require divine intervention. But even if it's impossible, I guess I've gotta try; what the hell else is there to do in life? It makes me a bit sad that such a mundane and easily achievable dream for normies is completely out of reach for something like me though.

>>34541440
I'm really fucked up right now.
I realised I haven't been this bad in years.
I can't explain it, life just hurts right now...
I tried talking about it to a girl online just then, she didn't understand at all.
Every time I've ever talked to someone about this stuff I've regretted it... Nobody will ever be able to think what I'm thinking, feel what I'm feeling.

I haven't been THIS bad in several years

>>34541656
what happened
>>34541669
old fashioned what?

Why do I have to work in order to sustain my way of living? All I want to do is live in my apartment and play video games/browse 4chan/watch youtube videos all day long like I did back in highschool. I get so angry when I'm at work because I fucking despise any kind of job and would rather be playing Eyes of Heaven than fucking wrapping up filing cabinets on a line.

>>34541440
Good afternoon, barkeep.
I'll take one whiskey on the rocks, please.

I feel like I'm getting addicted to female attention. This is no chad post, the female attention is purely online - I never get anything in real life.

I keep trying to reach out to femanons on /r9k/, almost as if I'm collecting them. Just this last week I started talking to 4 new ones, though I quickly lose interest after the greeting stage. I helped one girl realize she's in love with her robot beta orbiter. Feel pretty good about that one. The others are just still there on my Skype contacts and we chat quickly once a day or so.

It's not that I don't enjoy this much female presence in my life, but I just feel so pathetic about it. Why do I chase these girls as if they're magical, collectable creatures? It's not like I'm gonna get my dick wet, and they're pretty much just like any male friend except I relate to them less. I feel like I'm gonna end up doing this until I hurt myself somehow.

>>34541703
Stopped talking to her because she was flirting with my friend in front of me. Also she was being an irrational cunt the day before I stopped talking to her. Also we've just been distant lately and I saw this coming sooner or later. A week before we stopped talking we were hooking up and she seemed really into me, more than ever

>>34541679
Your dream sounds amazing i have a very similar one
maybe i'll save to retire there live in kyoto read outside temples
all day hotsprigs when its cold it sounds really good
or i have a similar fantasy about being a warplane fighter pilot like porco
rosso having a little private island with nothing but a radio a few magazines
or books and a beautifull beach
and what is preventing you

>>34541440
Today's my first day of community college. I dropped out of my 4 year and now I'm here. I'm gonna die of anxiety. Someone get me out, surrounded by turbo normies. I just want to be safe behind my computer

I guess I'll just do water for now.

Yesterday my grandma was diagnosed with colon cancer. Of course, she's getting to that age where I knew the end would be coming sooner or later.
She's not the first in my family to get cancer. My mom had breast cancer, my uncle died of stomach cancer, and I think my great grandpa/ma had cancer too.
I know there's nothing I can do about this, it just sucks.

>>34541749
You're a little like me.
I have two in other countries, so I have the excuse of having them as "penpals".

Shit, you're right about not relating to them though.

>>34541516
You told me 45 brah

>>34541440
moscow mule thanks bar anon

I think I've got a crush on this guy at uni (i'm bi) but i want a family and kids and grandkids

>>34541800
medfag here
it's a numbers game m8, don't feel too bad, treasure your time with her when she's still here

>>34541780
Thanks, your dream sounds really nice too.

>and what is preventing you
There's basically no path to residency open to me except marriage, and as a robot, that's impossible. Like getting superpowers and exploring the universe-level impossible. At the moment I'm trying to build networks in the vain hope someone might employ me on recommendation even though I don't have any university qualifications, and through a work visa I might eventually become eligible for permanent residency. But I'm almost 30 so time's quickly running out for the whole marriage thing.

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>>34541652
good stuff.
it's young and in the improv phase but I keep coming back to something like this, it's real simple actually
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1dgG8vDxkM3

long story cut short I'm used to playing in bands, now that I'm alone I've lost a bit of direction after experimenting to hell and back. I decided limiting myself to 1 guitar and a new style to regain perspective, then take it from there.

>>34541749
you're a dude, dude. girls are nice. getting your dick wet might be better, but sometimes you can just have a good talk with a woman, it doesn't have to be more all the time.

>>34541750
see if you can spot these sort of alarm bells earlier. from what I've gathered here you were heading straight towards it. anyway good luck with the situation, it always seems easy from a 3rd person point of view.

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>>34541440
water pleese. doctor told me no alcohol so i don't wurssin my condishin

>always failed in school despite trying
>can rarely speak beyond simple yes or no's in conversation due to being slow
>have trouble retaining reading and retaining information
>have difficulty with simple logic and abstract thought
>can't do math beyond arithmetic

thakns for listening

>>34541677
cont it fag

>>34541440
*chooses song at the jukebox*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkKueyJaA0A

Hey guys, sorry for being late today. One beer, keeper. ;-)

I just did my ghetto workout some minutes ago. How have you guys been today?

>Be me
> told entire life that im a genius or gifted, smart whatever the fuck.
>Constantly getting into trouble with authority bc of bitch mom that doesn't know anything other than negative reinforcement and dad who's not around who she constantly hates around me.
>just suspensions in skool tho nothing to ruin my white boy points.
>find a couple buddies in my prep high school who seem chill.
>end up getting in the habit of splitting a 24 everyweekend, sometimes more depending on if the night was good.
>get into the habit.
>Still competitive in rugby, able to talk to girls.
>ff to uni
> same shit, still drinking, have a persona to maintain once im out tho. Gotta be cool and shit when im drinking bc of friends expecting it.
>ends up being the best skill i learned
>adjusting your personality to the people around you
>start being super empathetic
>realize my energy (mood) that i feel in the conversation is enough to steer people towards feeling that.
>realize i've been profiting from this
>no suspensions even tho i called the principal's kid a cunt to him, got off with a detention
>got into a fight with a cop and all i got was a $60 hotel room for the night (drunk tank)
>realize my mom can't do anything to me now because i can't be controlled through yelling.
>Now i dont do assignments on time, i can just talk to the prof
>don't have to pay rent, the landlord understands
>fucked my boss in the summer bc i felt like it.

other stories but basically how manipulative i am now is a blessing, but also a curse, have stories

>>34541826
>cont
feeling extra shitty because i've broken one guy's heart before - having feelings for them and somehow making them fall in love with me when i don't even want to come out

chubby gay guys are the cutest thing ever, they're like precious cinnamon rolls and i feel like shit after hurting one

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>>34541745
playing video games and 4chan is fun but i recommend exploring
try new things that could lead into some kind of jobs
like i tried making music and found it too hard i'm even thinking of
getting my working with children lisence and i'm going to get my
rsa so i can be an actual barkeep try programming or something
along the line if your logical
>>34541749
If you really want ot get off it
Go to a bar or a bar event (karaoke, trivia)
the bar events are highly recommended because
it gives you an excuse to socialise even with girls
especially with girls
you've just got to gather some dutch courage
go to trivia and ask to join a group/ team
most people will say yes if your not creepy
Karoke is a good way if you're only into unusual things like nu metal
>>34541697
we can help spill your feels
>>34541750
that sucks but maybe you are better off she doesnt sound
like a good person
>>34541785
Buy a cheap laptop and blare music and close your eyes and go to your happy place
>>34541800
that sucks man i know the feeling

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>>34541440
howdy bartender
gimme a... uhh... a ginger ale i guess

when will androids be a thing? does anyone know? i need one to fulfill my deplorable waifufaggotry and deviant sexual fantasies
>tfw Tali will never be real

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>>34541826
thats shitty you can always adopt
>>34541859
Thanks man and i'm sure you can pay someone for a quick marrage in japan with the whole birth problem and people marrying their friends but your living in japan is a dream and thats something good to work towards and is a lot more than most people have
>>34541870
its quite raw at this pont but i like the vibe and the general beat

Bourbon, please
> Be me, in group therapy
> Lady running it talking about life experiences
> Uses me as example
> ohshit.ape
> beginning to realize maybe opening up was a poor decision
> proceeds to share my "life experiences" (I was bullied and harassed for a physical deformity and sexuality for years) with the class
> PANICPANICPANIC
> Realize I probably shouldnt open up to people again
> class didnt say anything, but the constant tension is back and i feel nauseaous

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>>34541872
that truly sucks what makes you this challenged

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>>34541884
good choice here is your beer and tell us what your ghetto workout is

>>34542033
cheers mate i needed this, read my cont?
i want my own biological offspring (weird i know)

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>tfw stuck in limbo
True definition of a cyborg here you bots are on a different model than me so I don't fully understand

I look like a normie but can't confront them because hiv+

>inb4 hur durr faggot got hiv from packing guys fudge

I'm a virgin havent done anything sexual or shared anything

>>34542105
then how'd you get pozzed? druggie?

>>34542120
Still don't know Never shared any needles been hiv+ for 8 years now I'm 20yo

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>>34541905
i have a friend like this
he almost got someone to pay for strippers on my birthday
still got into uni despite being kicked out of 4 schools
Sells fertilizer
its more of a dream i wish i had that amount of charisma
>>34542000
here you go
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/sex-robots-could-biggest-trend-7127554

>>34541440
I posted a picture on /soc/ and was told I am 2/10.
I also posted one of those "you/ideal gf" images here and nobody responded.
Also my wrists still hurt despite spending all my cash on physiotherapy.

You shouldn't drink, its bad for you. Both physically and mentally.

>>34542095
yeah ill read it
and you can pay a girl to have a kid to have your baby orr ask a close friend
>>34542105
Bad luck that sucks
>>34542168
go to a doctor
or have you already been
even if you have tell them its not working


also after this im finishing >>34541677

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>>34542058
me thinks it has to do with mommy smoking a pack a day while she carried me or that she had me at 43. it would be nice to know.

>>34542105
I knew a HIV+ guy. We played soccer together. He'd always bring his own bottle of water and not share, and it got awkward if people asked why. Also he wore tall socks with nylons under them in case he clashed legs with someone.
I heard he killed himself, but thats just a rumor, since he was supposed to go live in Germany and just disappeared socially, don't know what happened. Maybe he is okay.

>>34541440
Rum and coke please barman.
I got notice to vacate my house and I'm about to be homeless so I can't take my cat with me. He's my only mate. I got him as a tiny stray kitten. I didn't really want him, I wanted another in the litter. He was the last to go, and when I sat down he wouldn't leave my side and wouldn't stop wagging his tail like a dog. Now he's fully grown into a huge fluffy cat that follows me everywhere and he doesn't know I can't have him anymore. I'm so bitter about my landlords serving me notice, even if it' because they want to move back in. I've looked after the place. But I just got out of relationship where I got completely used and she took all my money so I have no place to go, and no place to go where I can have my cat. I've asked around all the people I know and no one can take him. I don't want to give him away because I made him a commitment when he was a tiny unwanted stray that I'd give him a home forever but now I don't have a fucking home and I can't take him.

I'm devastated.

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>>34541440
You left me hanging last time

Can i get a bloody mary?

>>34542247
You fuck up, see if the ex will look after it.

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>>34542164
thank you, but...
>ywn afford one of these
>ywn have the skills to sew and fabricate a quarian suit
>ywn be able to legally marry her
It hurts.
i know i shouldnt feel this way, but i do, and i dont want to stop
any advice?

>>34542280
she doesn't have a place to stay either- that was one of the ways she was using me. When I got served notice to vacate she realized I was no longer useful so she got abusive and what minimal effort she put in vanished and so I dumped and blocked her.

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>>34542214
At least for sometime he had the balls to still be ambitious before he an heroed

allspark is loseing power the most true interaction I get is imagining myself in a happy life with a gf npcs in vidya or when anoying normie coworkers tell me to do things

I'm ill as fuck. Swallowing anything is painful.

Is smoking allowed indoors barkeep?

I've been feeling increasingly melancholic recently. My internal clock is completely out of sync, so I stay awake all night and sleep during the day.

Is bartending your full-time job?

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>>34541440

i'll have a sippy cup filled with cold vegetable oil and warm seltzer water

>be me
>1 year 1 month since gf overdosed in my arms and died
>shit shucks senpai

its just not getting any easier and every day is just more shitty memories and blaming myself. survivors guilt :/

>>34541677
>she starts talking to me
>she's illiterate
>she uses u instead of you
>know where it was clearly no
>uses emojiis
>assinments
>Tfw when my mom failed to help rid her of iliteracy
>uses the blush emoji
>says xxxxxx before sleep
>she tells me that she wants to talk to me tommorow
>fml she's actually good looking for a 15y/o but three years difference is too much
>and my rule is that anyone i will date cant be more than 2 years younger than me

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>>34541440
It's been two and a half weeks since my stalker customer came to my job harassing me with suspicious hostility because I texted him (for the 4th time) that I wasn't interested, this time saying "just stop, you can't get every girl every time."

The things he said were threatening, especially harassing me for my work schedule and telling me he's fucked up in the head. I don't him not to hurt me and leave me alone but he never responded back. I stalked him on normiebook before this and ever since the incident he posts everything on public. It's all sob stories how he's mentally ill and suspicious things that might be targeted towards me. Why is he setting this to public? I didn't add him, what audience is he trying to speak to? The public after his face gets on the news after hurting/killing me?

This is what he posted last night;
https://youtu.be/x4tQUPFHNSU

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Smirnoff and coke please, long time no see

Don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I try to write music or lyrics, I am never satisfied with any of them, and I force myself to write and complete something, I kinda feels shame in them and I'm too scared to show them to anyone. Most likely I fear it's the result of a chldhood trauma or something edgy. Or just because I'm low test beta :///

>>34542403
>>and my rule is that anyone i will date cant be more than 2 years younger than me
lmao

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I will have some whiskey

>tfw its soo fucken hard to turn your goddamn life around.

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>>34542211
yeah my physc thinks i have fetal alchol syndrome so i know the feeling
>>34542247
thats the saddest fucking thing ive heard for a while on here
have you got any government benifits
maybe if you spent a few weeks as a beggar or do some kind of service you could afford a po box and a gym membership (gym for the shower) and go out looking for jobs once a week

>>34542405
Not barkeeper, but it depends if that matches his political beliefs. If it does then it probably doesn't mean anything, if not then that's a little strange.

Sounds like he asked you out, you accepted, then regretted it once you saw he was creepy?

>>34542436
>i will now stop eating candy
>day 1: no candy
>day 2: no candy
>day 3: ate a family sized cake for dinner

Its not that I break down crying how hard it is to stop chewing garbage.
Its that on first day I think I shouldn't eat, and its worth it to fight the craving, while on day three I just don't think its worth it anymore, I mean I am not that fat anyway, and I don't date, so who cares?

>>34542403
You are underaged, like i dont know if you think the mods are retarded or something, but its crystal fucken clear.

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>>34542469
All his Facebook pictures set to public are him wearing the guy fawks mask so I think that's the opposite of his beliefs. It was more like

>he asked me for my number multiple times
>I caved in and gave him a chance
>turns out he's batshit and suicidal
>once I saw something was up I said no thanks
>then he comes into my job threatening me
>now he might kill me
>I should've known not to give him my number the first time he asked

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>>34542279
Sorry about the wait
tell us your tale
i'll get to everyone in time
>>34542306
save your money or buy a body pillow/blow up doll
>>34542355
it is here
and tonight it is and your sleep schedule is bad its 2:26 am here and ill be maning the bar for a few more hours

>>34542528
Fuck anon you're in Melbs
Where in Melbs?

>>34542463
Thanks for reply anon. I did get a p.o box when I realized I wouldn't have near enough for a bond or month in advance or anything. My ex scraped my couch along the wooden floor while I was at work one day so I'm likely to lose my bond here and get a bad rental reference . I'm lucky in the sense at least I have a car so can have a roof over my head per se and the P.O box and gym membership means at least I can get by. In all honesty it's not the prospect of being homeless that's upsetting me it's not knowing whats gonna happen to my cat, he's been loyal to me and I hope he has a good life or at least a life at all when I ahve to surrender him in a few weeks :(

>>34541440
Can I have a bottle of pain killers and a bottle of jack. I'm in love with a person who will never love me back and I just wanna die.

dude whats the point of ruining your life thinking about what happened in the past. It's done, it sucks, it makes you who you are, and now you just have to live you life. Do something better dawg ur good

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Long Island, it's 9AM and I can't stomach anything sharp right now

I'm so tired of being ugly. I remember when I was younger thinking that I'd get older and grow into my face, or my features would settle, but things only ever go downhill. Balding is finally showing, and showing pretty badly. There's no haircut that hides it, it's all various shades of lopsided patterns that don't really fit my frame. I'm a legitimate 3/10 with a nose that would rival Gepetto's creation, and going outside where people can see it gets harder all of the time.

It's started to get to the point where I think about it constantly in my apartment. Used to be I'd only really be aware of it when I left, but now it's always pressing that I'm legitimately hideous and can't fix it, ever.

>>34542578
wow that pierced right to my core
ditto anon

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>>34542393
yeah was it on purpose?
probably a dumb question
>>34542405
he wants attention
don't give it to him and call the police if he persists
>>34542407
put some relaxing music on and what i do with my writing is use different weird symbols to symbolise arreas that need work that way you can refer back to them later

rum and coke please


christcuck here, I met this girl at church who's almost 4 years older than me. she's genuinely interested in talking to me (she chose to walk a longer route with me instead of just leaving earlier, sits with me etc) and we both like rock climbing. went to the bouldering gym once with her and got totally out-alpha'ed because she's been climbing for several years now. why are all the friendly and empathetic girls older than me? i rarely hear of relationships where the guy is younger ever working out. this girl is really cool and we can get along well but I'm probably just a kid in her eyes

>inb4 underage

>>34542419
>>34542523
I'm 18 and there is no hate here

>>34542436
i know it is
i'm 50% there
its taken 2 months but im almost there
>>34542556
Sydney And good guess

>>34541440
Regular beer please. I've been feeling down lately.

I'm turning 21 in less than two weeks, I don't have any friends, I'm going to spend the next three years of my life in a third world country getting a medical degree, and I have trouble relating to the people there so making friends and opening up is difficult. Throughout my childhood I've lived in three different countries, lost contact with any childhood friends, and I don't feel like I have a home, or belong anywhere.

And what's worse is that I have OCD. The last two years of highschool were a fucking mess. People my age are lightyears ahead of me socially and mentally, they have accomplishments they're proud of, and hopes and dreams. I don't think I'll be able to make friends in the future because I'm so fucked mentally.

And I wonder, why do I put up with this? What do I live for? What do I want out of this life? I don't fucking know. Probably the only reason I'm still alive is so I don't hurt my family.

I so fucking wish I could reroll in life.

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>>34542528
i might do that, but im an atrocious NEET who, while not really looking the part (not a 500 pound fedoralord, thank God), am unable to get over my crippling nihilism and depression to care about anything other than family and video games, thus the NEETdom
basically, im poor

that still doesnt answer my question: should i truly feel this way? or am i some kind of outcast?

Had a dream that I made friends again. Waking up from those is the worst.

>>34541440
good day barkeep
i'll have some rum please, i kind of want to forget last night

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>>34542561
What do you have
beacause loosing that cat may end up meaning loosing yourself to the sadness and noone will care for it as much as you do
>>34542578
Here's your jack and ill save the pain killers for later i know how much it hurts to not have someone you love feel the same
it hurts

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>>34541440
Today my pet midget ran away...

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>>34542779
Here is another picture of my pet midget

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>>34541440
I will have a coke and rum bartender

I dont know anymore sitting in uni classes cant force myself to pay attention to lectures anymore only learn by hands on and doing the work. Constantly groggy on top of can barely hold a train of thought anymore before forgetting what i was thinking about in the first place.

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>>34542667
ok ur 18 and therefore underage, get the fuck out.

Before going the fuck out lemme give you a tip on the situation, mind you im 25.

Fuck that pussy hard, use condom (If you fuckup here lmao...), use her for sexual experience and self esteem/confidence boost. Probably have to keep it a secret. Since she's poor and stupid, be careful because she can be exploited by others to become a prostitute or something. She may already be mentally unstable, so make use of it. I'm not saying abuse her, make use of the situation.

Become alpha by consuming betas, she is the beta, because shes after you. If you don't act up on it, she will go for others and there will be no ez pussy for you.

If you dont follow up on my advice, then you'll risk having regret and ending up with the other virgins.

Your 2 year rule just screams teenage naivety. You know nothng about life and may think im just talking shit. Just heed my advice, you will understand in time.

Hey I'll have a cider, no ice.

Guess I just feel bad cuz I should be studying for a test but I'm currently not because I know I'm gonna fail and it's not the end of the world and at least I'm not busting my mind over it.
I guess it's more of a general symptom of life, what's your opinion on shrinks?

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>>34542600
All you need to do is dress really well and girls won't notice

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just water for me, my man
>been a failure and disappointment my entire life
>the past 4 months i'm been trying to eat right and exercise a bit
>lost about 30LBs
>was subconsciously working towards my goal
>i'm joining the Army
>finally going to do it
>joining a gym today to work on my cardio
>gonna tell my therapist that i'm done seeing her
>gonna tell my uncle what i'm doing
The only thing i'm nervous about is getting in with my GED. Apparently the Military doesn't view that as equivalent to a diploma. So now i'm fearful of that. So I guess I need to be in top physical condition and do well on the ASVAB.

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>>34542899
Thanks for the drink.

It's like putting lipstick on a pig. I've tried, face is the first and last thing they notice.

>>34542666
that sucks alpha up and ask her out but don't be a beta you've got to basicly let her know that you won't take no for an answer

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>>34542723
Its good you have an idea of what you want to do thats more than a lot of people and medicine is a good course it is one of the few jobs that are pretty stable its all about faking confidence iots easier said then done but still worth a shot

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>>34542736
there are people who like everything out there
including sex dolls
>>34542750
Go out make a friend
talk to people even those steamfeels threads would be okay
>>34542766
here you go what happened
>>34542779
nice pet miget

>>34543167
got in an argument with my drunk chad brother and it got physical
still kind of sore.

>>34542801
thats depression son look up im loosing my personality and brain fog theyre both symptoms i know because i was in the same situation

>>34542993
so far I've been having really long conversations with her about stuff like the military and of course fitness stuff, I was quite conscious not to look clingy and beta by doing my oan thing regardless of whether she follows along but really the age gap thing is getting to me a lot. people always say i look quite young and boyish even though I try and dress properly and avoid anything that hints of autism.

honestly how true is this alpha/beta stuff and redpill stuff. keeping up the alpha appearance is so hard and honestly I just wsnt to act natural but not autism sperging natural.

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>>34542848
i don't know thats definately something i have to think about but
i feel more sorry for her than anything i don't think she's dumb and
i don't blame her for it and i don't want to ruin the good memeories i
have of my childhood by thinking i used her for sex plus im not so hopeless
and i have a good friend who is helping me be less beta and ive already hit
it off with a girl
>>34542880
here you go and i like shrinks but only real ones
my school councilor last year really helped me out ik gay
but we used to shit talk the students he swore and always had
a fresh supply of tea and coffee and a kettle in his room
so you need to find a good one

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>>34542646
Yeah, I guess I should try that, maybe with Jazz or folk, since I'm currently into that. Are you this dude >>34541586? Nice drawing, Imo represent House's music very well in a picture.
Here's old Robert for you, drawn by some Japanese Manga artist

>>34542903
thats good man
Even if you don't get in you can still do a bunch of other things like maybe police or a few other things so dont stress out too much and congrats on your success
>>34542970
not always true and if a landwhale can have sex with over 20 people then you can with an ugly face
>>34543182
that sucks are you guys close
>>34543352
Its fucking true i hit on a girl whilst drunk and i saw hints of discomfort when i told her i was threatened after chads got kicked out because of us and she instantly showed some disinterest i let a little beta out accidentally
>>34543446
yeah ive been relaxing to macintosh plus its so calming and clasical music is good as well also that isn't me

>>34543446
here's a link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU8HrO7XuiE

>>34543555
>Even if you don't get in you can still do a bunch of other things like maybe police or a few other things
Yeah I guess. But corralling niggers is a huge step down from fighting terror cells

>>34543607
is there anywhere in the us where police is higher than that and your right police get so much bullshit
>domestic drama
>Busting people for drugs
>Booking people on trains
>random breath test
all that sounds boring

>>34543167
i know that, its just...
should i desire normieness? i kinda do, if only for the sake of being "normal"

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>parents have told me they're moving to a new one bedroom apartment this time next year
>i have that much time to sort my life out and move out
>prospect is scary as fuck for somebody who can't even call to order his own takeout
>have asked for professional help a few times but I've just been told to man up
>suicide is a serious option on the table
>i can't be homeless

>>34543723
nope i don't
This thread has inspired me a little
i'm going to try to live abroad for a year teaching english to japanese kids maybe
or just try to find a job working somewhere nice
don't be normal for the sake of it

>>34543650
Yeah I actually wanted to be a police officer before I realized that it's basically just a hall monitor for the ghetto. Not a cause i'm willing to die for. Maybe i'll join up if Trump turns the police into a domestic military to really control the masses

>>34543780
but you have a year
thats enough
step one: seek profesional help online look up what you need to get it
Step 2: make a what i want to achive daily list and do at least three everyday and mix them up so you don't keep doing them over and over

>>34543915
but you could make detective if you stick it out for long enough and do well but there's no guarantee

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>had to go to an assessment to see if I still deserve pity money for not killing myself
>these are the same assessments that find dying people fit for work
>utterly fucked
>tell as much as I can, suicide attempts, depression and anxiety problems
>assessor leaves to get something
>check what they type
>"can work washing machine" "can dress self" "can operate microwave"
>literally nothing there referring to my mental health
>find out in 6 weeks if I get cut off
>tfw 6 weeks of life left

kinda weird that it's almost endgame so soon

>>34544025
6 weeks is enough time for you to get a small somewhat decent jobso work hard your percistance will pay off

>>34544025
The game is shit anyway. A lot of depth, but no real structure.

its 4:00 here thats the end of my shift
the next barkeep will be here soon

>>34544025
>people who have no knowledge of mental health assessing the mentally disabled
isn't our government amazing?

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>>34543917
i've sort of started

i have a data entry job
they just require i work 30 hours a week
i usually go in at 10pm and finish at 4

but there's nothing social that will help me with talking to people

the receptionist doesn't even look up when i come in anymore

>>34544025
whats holding you from working like the rest? sounds like you wallow in endless self pity and dont even want things to get better

>>34542403
you are retarded and because of that you are losing an oportunity that you will never have again. Enjoy your regret on the future

>>34544229
your right I don't I want to suffer more. I fully deserve the misery I have, I only wish I could have cancer so I could eat shit harder then die

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>>34541440
coke please mate,taking it east today

friend is apparently depressed,worried about her cos i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy
hope she isn't too bad

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>>34541440
pour me a shot of ginger ale and gin please wojak
>been working like a mad man
> feels good to be making money again
> also going to school
> also working a nightt job
> almost no time to game
> almost no time for fun anymore
> only time to shit post on this board that has become family to me

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gin tonic please

want to go full girlmode, but afraid that I'm going to be "That guy" again

despite being autistic as fuck my social life has been succesful for the last 2 years, don't wanna ruin that

Doing a shit course at a shit uni. The only thing that's kept me going has been the knowledge that I'm on track for a First (equivalent of an American A grade). Found out today I fucked up one of the most important assignments of my degree and I have a feeling I've screwed up others, which I haven't got back yet. The worst part is that Year 3 (which I'm in) counts for double Year 2 - so any fuck-up effectively counts for double too.

>>34544367
keep going mate
work to be in a place where you can quit your night job when finishing school
you'll still have to work hard, but atleast you'll have some free time

and that free time is going to be the sweetest free time of them all

>>34544374
what does full girl mode mean?
transsexual stuff?
also a gin tonic for me too pls

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>>34541440
Where the fuck is ganja, i want to be back in the zone man..

>>34544520
yeah, talking bout transitioning, but i'd settle with just dressing up in girl clothes.

worst thing is: i know i can make it look convincing, so i don't have the excuse of me looking like caitlyn jenner if i were to go through with it

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>>34544520
Why dont you like.. off yourself allready?

A glass of love and sadness please.
If any of the people here got to know me they would commit suicide. I've been lucky my whole life and I always fucked up. Now it's starting to go a little better butI still feel empty. I tried approaching a girl (and sperged miserably) and the first semester in uni didn't go so well. I don't know, I just want to feel well. Well at least now I feel more relaxed I 'm actually going to do some work.

>>34544631
would like to go drinking with a transsexual sometimes seems interesting to talk about oh well need to get friends first
>>34544677
how about no my man

I'll have a cold heineken please
>tfw confident af around girls im not into
>but the one girl you care about you're autistic

Ill take a beer

How am I such an idiot
Every time I talk to a girl I fuck up
I think every time they talk to me its flirting, Help?

>>34541440
Get me an apple cider, please.

I got fired from my job a few days ago. I've been contemplating suicide ever since.

>>34544700
a lot of transexuals are way too serious about it though, i once knew a trans person that flipped at the smallest comment that could be construed as an anti-trans sentiment

i can understand the paranoia, but some people just take it too far

>>34544714
that's pretty normal.
most of the time only chads can be non-autistic towards girls they like

A pint plz

>tfw cut myself again
>tfw haven't ate since yesterday morning

I had some 'good' news too but it only made me angry.

Got anything with cyanide?

>>34545025
one question:
why do you do this?

>>34545127
I don't know. It feels like something rather than nothing

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The first job offer I've had in 3 months of my, so far fruitless, jobhunt is a 7-11 near my house.
>it's in the neighborhood, so I'll be seeing people who made fun of me as a kid
>the boss is a total cuck who can't keep his employees in check
>I'll be working durig the evening or the graveyard shift
And all of this for minimum wage.

Is it worth it, robots?
I get it's either this or nothing, but I don't know if I will be able to stand it.

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why am i feels like cringe autistic faglord?
i just say hello to people.
OC Pepo

>>34545152
i know that feel

i managed to fill that hole with discovering my passion for cooking, maybe you have something like that too, a passion that can fill the hole

Barkeep how do you keep this place running day in and night out when the tap is on the house?

>>34545292
I'm long past that point I think. _.

>>34545248
*milk
oreo gami

>>34541440
Vodka tonic with a lemon please.
Hands are shakin today a bit. Feel fine so far. Totally directionless in life but I don't really care.

>>34545248
I don't know if it's the same for you but for me it's because I know no one really cares for what I have to say. Also if I have to start the conversation then it's clear that they don't want to be my friend even if they'll never admit it.

>>34545242
>>34545242
that's rough man, maybe take the job for the time being, but hold an eye out for any alternatives that might come up, and quit as soon as you can

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>>34541440
oban scotch on the rocks

i cant keep living like this with her stuck im my head

>>34542120
it was ur mum m8

>>34541440
Scotch for me please

There's no more complicated feeling than confusion. It's eating me up on the inside. Haad this simili break-up where everything is misty and unclear. Just tell it to my face goddamit.

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It's my birthday today. I didn't think it would affect me so much, but this is my last birthday before I turn 30, and looking at my life I have gotten pretty depressed.

Things aren't at all what I thought they would be. I've failed so much throughout my life that many great opportunities I once had are all lost to me now. I'm not happy with who I am.

There are very few good things going in my life right now, and I don't know how any of it will possibly get better in the coming years. It seems like more realistically things will just continue to get harder instead.

Take today, for instance. I made up an excuse to call off work, and now I'm just shit posting my feelings away on /r9k/ feeling like a worthless sack of shit.

I'm completely broke right now as well, but I have like $6 on a Speedway gift card. Might go try to pick up a couple cans of cheap yet strong alcohol and just try to get drunk for the rest of the day.

I don't know what the point of this post was. I'm not even trying to ask for attention. In fact I hate it when people make a big deal out of me, which probably has something to do with the reason I've basically isolated myself from everyone on my birthday, when my family, friends, and co-workers would likely enjoy celebrating with me.

I just feel like my life is so fucked up and worthless and that's never going to change no matter how much I wish it could.

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I'm always alone, but i had a friend once in a life

I havn't meet him for 8 years what is feel like losing old friend?

Can't even describe. He was so comfy to me. Feels like my home. But can't see anymore because i forgot about he's information

>>34546150
what is it like living by yourself and not needing to socialise with people apart from when you shop or go to work?
that's been my goal for sometime now as I've given up hope of ever finding somewhere where I fit in

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>>34546561
It's ok sometimes. You get to do what you please, but it gets really lonely really quick. It's unreal how easy it is to develop really shitty habits and a terrible lifestyle when you don't have to worry about other people judging you.

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>Good feels: My cute boss gave me a heartfelt thank you for working hard, said if I ever needed anything, just ask

>Bad feels: Currently getting fucked up the ass with cancer bills

Highs and lows, my friends. Highs and lows.

>>34541466
That's something I've noticed of people on r9k, smart but no motivation.

>>34541517
Fuck em. take the dam milkshake.

Cider here.
>Im in the theater waiting for an old school zombie movie
>Girl I had a crush on but never approached in intermediate school walks in
>I say millie whats up
>"Wow really we arent friends anymore"
>I say really wow
>She sounds just like me
>Wake up
Symptoms of self hate?

>>34541780
That greener grass thing you got going on? It will be the same thing there as it is here. People man.

I've been thinking about suicide more and more lately... I almost don't even care about the pain or anything like that. I'm realizing there is no escape from the absolute shit show that is my life and it will not get any better.

I am mentally ill. I can't do this for much longer.

>>34547081
Is that what this is? Everyone is telling me it's my fault. And it is, but I didn't choose to be this way. All of my siblings are okay, better off than me, so why am I a piece of shit? Is it my genes, my brain? If so then what can I do about it, if I don't accept the blame it's because I'm not trying but when I do try I fail over and over because I'm a poorly functioning human who isn't too smart and has no motivation. How do you fix those things when they make up who you are?

There are people with a lot of good traits so it's not unreasonable to think there are people with a lot of bad traits. I feel like that's me. I'm a genetic cesspool with nothing to offer. At this point fighting it feels like an exercise in futility. But then it's completely my fault, and I deserve what I get.

I didn't ask to be born.

>>34542903
You cant get into the military with a mental health record. Believe me i tried.

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Wouldn't mind a G&T. Double measure. Currently failing uni for a 5th year in a row. Drink to the point of no hangover and have a beer belly of someone twice my age

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I'll have a mojito
>be me
>gay
>probably autistic
>just want to be a NEET
>got sexually abused by father
>scared of relationships
>I told one of my 3 friends I was gay
>have a panic attack
>haven't talked to any of my 3 friends in like a week because of it
>always sad
>scared it'll never get better
>wouldn't commit suicide while mom and grandparents are alive
>my life is suffering
>couldn't ever focus on schoolwork
>fail like half of classes after sophmore year even though pretty smart
>mom wants me to go to college
>piece of shit dad wants me to move 2 states away to grow pot with him
>secretly hate him
I don't feel like I can dump all this on any of my irl friends, only one would still talk to me afterwards I think but I feel like he would judge me too

>>34547283
I remember one Time where my mum thought it would be a good idea for me and my eldest brother to go out for the day.

there was a bit of social interaction but because I find it hard/impossible to make eye contact and when they were talking my eyes tend to space out when I'm listening,
my brother had a go at me for being lazy for not speaking clearly and not making keeping eye contact and said how I'd never get anywhere in life like that.
It made me cry as it seems that nobody understands how doing things which other people consider to be normal is impossible and I had thoughts about how there's no point being alive if I couldn't do something so basic but minatory for someone to fit in.

I wonder if it's our fault that we don't fit in and if we are just lazy.

>>34547410
Serious question here, what uni lets you fail that many times in a row and not dismiss you?

At the university I went to, if you failed one semester, they put you on watch, and if you didn't improve enough the following semester you were dismissed from the school and had to either wait for a year before you could attend classes there again, or take a certain number of credits at a different school like a community college and pass those with like at least a 3.0 GPA or something.

I repeated that cycle 3 times for various reasons, usually overwhelming anxiety and depression getting the better of me. Got my third dismissal and decided I was just done.

>>34547599

Legitimate question.
Did first year and just didn't try. Didn't go to exams and fell behind. It was that easy though I only failed 1 of 12 modules but they said I'd have to pass that single module in the next academic year before moving on to the 2nd year. This was 2012

Second year, id fell that far behind by only doing that one module I failed 3 that year. Same story. Did the next academic year of 3 modules.

Now I'm here. Can feel this same year going the same way. Pass 3/4 of it but fail some critical attendance bits and itll be the same. Only doing it to shut my mum up. Should have become a plumber

>>34547708
>Should have become a plumber

plumbers earning 6 figures is a meme

>>34547586
Motivation is too difficult to find.

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>>34541440
>>34541466
Rum sounds pretty good. I'm the same way man. Did great in highschool got good grades got into uni and I have so much trouble putting in the necessary effort. I just want to drop out and go to trade school but my fear of failure and the reactions of my friends/family keep me here. The only times I don't feel this way is when I'm at the gym. I don't want to fail my family but I just don't feel I'm smart enough and don't have the motivation to try. What do bots?

>>34541440
I've been trying to talk to this girl that I've liked for a few months but i have no idea how to hold a conversation with someone I like. I feel like she thinks I'm good looking but also thinks I'm retarded. She's all I think about and I hate thinking she doesn't like me back.

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>>34541440
beer thanks

My only problem which i cant solve myself is, that iam fucking addicted to PC, iam 24 have a good job, friends and so on, but EVERY fucking day i came home, i sit behind the pc a do NOTHING, last 3 months i cant even play anything, cuz iam bored from all the games...so iam just scrolling on fb, read some bullshit all day and then i go sleep & repeat...help me pls, cuz its really starting to bother me, iam also aware of it, but i cant help myself

>>34541440
I leave for boot camp in like three days.
I really didnt want to do this, but it was either remain homeless or get a job.
So scared as a neet and total introvert to have to be around people.
It fucks with my head and makes me go mental if I cant get solitude for hours.
Every forum on the internet is like "man up" but shit, that doesnt help me at all. I just wish I was a friar

pepperminttea please
i'm currently at home, sick
i hate it
just got a new position and last week i was two days sick but i went back to work too soon
now i'm at home and even worse and i'm off at least till friday
thank god i can work from home

>also

is he using frozen fishsticks or is did he wait for them to thaw off?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULqCof5rNZ4
please answer me my last thread died and i need to know

>>34541440
Guys, you can escape this. Just work. I was like you, I was 22 and lived with my mom. I began working as a unionman fitting pipes. I'm saving up for college, and live in a cheap apartment with a qt3.14 gf. Guys, all you need is motivation. Mine was that I was aging and didn't want to be forever alone. You can do this
>tl;dr, I was once like you but I escaped

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>>34541440
I'm in the military. An officer. I live at work and I don't fit in, and I have to spend almost all my waking hours with my colleagues (even during and after dinner in the evenings). I don't fit in so I mostly just sit there and be quiet.

It's very lonely.

>>34548508
That's how 99% of the population has spent their lives the past 40~ years.

>>34548741
but iam fucking tired of it, but cant stop...like, what should i do instead of it all day?

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>>34541440
I want a cute gf that is kind and beautiful and a bit intelligent and loyal and likes me for what i am

>>34541440

Orange juice with bits with ice please wojak bartender

It increasingly looks like I will be going to university this year. Gonna do Physiotherapy as an all out desperate attempt to become a normie.

Life is starting to move forward. I'm gonna leave home and be surrounded by beautiful women looking for dick. I'm terrified I won't fuck any of them and continue on to be a 22 year old virgin, up from 21.

Rum on the rocks.

I got injured at my job. It's supposed to be a sales assistant job but really I'm just mailroom.

I'm in charge of all of the packages going in and out. I lift so much stuff throughout the day it's not even funny. I hurt my back severely.

I have a herniated disc now due to it.

I originally wanted to become a teacher because that's what I always wanted to do. However, parents pressured me into majoring in communication because they never support me. They always said for me to "take the easy way out." Now, I'm utterly miserable and broken physically and mentally.

My parents want me to stay in marketing and not try to become a teacher because teachers are not needed anymore. This isn't me saying I want to move to LA to do acting or art, I just want to teach.

I'm tired of the boring, mundane work of marketing and sales. It's shit. It doesn't fit me personality wise and I'm losing my sanity over it. I can't do this for another 50+ years of my life.

I want to do something at least somewhat enjoyable and not soul crushing. But, I guess I'm not made for that.

nice to see the thread's still going. I got drunk and fell asleep, feel terrible now but that's nothing new. what's going on

>>34541440
Whisky please

>four months ago
>oneitis comes to my house
>oneitis barely knows me
>she's at the door
>what do what do what do
>escape through the garden
>she starts spamming my phone
>mute phone
>get in car
>start driving around waiting for her to leave
>she sends me messages
>eventually convinces me to come back
>come back
>she tells me why she came
>she was wondering why i stopped seeing her and our friend and answering their calls (a while ago i had a friend, he was a manipulative scumbag and after 4 years of knowing him one day i finally completely cut all ties with him. he was the only person that came close to being my true friend. he also fucked my oneitis. let's call him M)
>explain the situation in a roundabout way omitting the fact that every time i saw her i grew more and more obsessed about her
>she wants to help me with things, like my social anxiety and inability to speak with people
>no idea why she's doing all this
>assume it's because M sent her

>we start seeing each other a lot
>mostly talking, she seems genuinely interested in me
>i still think it's simply not possible for anyone to be as interested in helping me or being there for me as much as she is
>one day she invites me to some party
>accept
>come to party
>wait for her to arrive
>she's almost here
>see her
>a sudden strike of autism makes me run to my car and drive as far away and as fast as humanly possible
>i pass her at a speed high enough that she doesn't know it was me
>she starts texting and calling me
>drive around for a while and come back home

That was two months ago.
Every single day since that day i have hated myself for being such a fucking retard.
Her last message was that if i don't tell her what's going on she's going to come to my home again.
She didn't.
I just miss her so much. She was the only person I've ever felt that i can actually talk to. She doesn't see me the way I see her though, and i don't even know what to tell her at this point.

>>34548741
I still remember when using a computer was laughed at

"lol go outside" or "omg get a social life" were the lines people used. Who's laughing now, they all spend their free time browsing facebook now.

I'm only 26 but it's funny observing this change.

I got fired from my job yesterday out of the blue. All my peers from college are doing a PhD or have been at the same job for at least a year - I haven't been able to hold on to the same position for even a year.

Got reminded today that my "ex" (sort of more than friends with benefits at most) has been in a stable relationship for two years. I have had some flings in that time, but nothing noteworthy. Now I'm jobless, no one around me in an empty flat.

I kept myself up with the jobs I had. I was never without a job since 2014. Now I just have no perspective professionally, while not much has improved personally either.

>>34541516
50.
50?
50?!
50 over an hours time?
What the fuck man, did you jerk off meanwhile? During that time you've must've done at least 400 or so, no matter how fat or pathetic you are. I mean even the fattest boys in my team managed to do at least 40 a minute during the army.
Just do the same thing tomorrow. And then the day after raise it by 5 or so. It's really not that hard, just some daily 10 push-ups when waking up will improve a shit-ton. After that it's all fun and games. Realy. Then you can add like 10 sit ups in the evening, raise it a bit everytime. Add planking in the noon and repeat. Soon you'll be Ezio Auditore - tier fella (or whoever). After that a qt3.14 who's had enough of cock carousell for the past 20 years will come for you. I'm rooting for you.

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>Going to new college this semester
>Brother goes there
>Brother is more sociable, I'm somewhat socially awkward in a sense
>Only time I make friends is when I'm drunk, and only time I meet girls and hook up with them is when I'm drunk
>mfw I'm a better person intoxicated than I am sober.

>have a bad day
>lost of existential thoughts throughout the day
>fire up some Dota 2 to forget about the world
>get stuck in a 2 hour match
>we lose

I want to fall asleep and never wake up again.
I'm so autismal a fucking video ame 0a<sueguiopzdhguionnaedh its crushing my spirit asoidhgaebuipgh

>>34542785
It ran away? Sorry to break it to you, but you should jump with joy. jesus fuck...

>>34542970
>implying that girls are looking for a nice face/body
You only need the fucking credit card and a shit-ton of money.
Protip: win a lottery (or rob a bank or use any means to acquire ridiculous amounts of currency) you'll find the love of your life the very next day, I'll guarantee it.

>>34541440
My friends keep telling me about their sex lives, I'm pretty sure they're trying to get me jealous or something. It's pretty annoying. One even asked me why I don't hire a prostitute.

I don't even care about sex, and I haven't acted like I do either. I really don't understand why they're so concerned with it when I'm not but it's making it difficult to be around them, I just want to talk about the shit we would normally talk about.

It's kind of shitty, my closest friends who I though understood me don't seem to actually understand me at all.

How the fuck does a bar stay in business when all the drinks are on the house every night
this roleplay shit is gay as aids

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I'll have a pint of Guinness please barkeep.


So basically i'm in my last year of college (UK) and i can't bring myself to do any work, i turn up to every lesson, but i just sit there and lurk the interest (usually looking at the news or here). So there are 3 months until exams start and i just can't be arsed, just want to play vidya.

Anybody else have an urge to die in their 20s at a sort of young age? That is my feel right now.

>>34548595
Boot camp is gonna be "fun" I'll guarantee you that. NVM the physical shit, that's nothing worth mentioning. The first 2 weeks are the hardest, people can't work together, won't think of other etc. Live through it. Be the guy who's oriented to the team. After that it's all shit's and giggles, you'll get the "support" (currency), your meals (tho sometimes shit-tier) are free, you got roof over the head (well, not during the training, but who cares about sleeping in a tent if you can make /k/ jelly with the action). Ok, some superiors are asshole's, but that's because they are afraid of the team they're handling. They are afraid of YOUR team. Just make it work (if the superior is bat-shit crazy just lay low and do whatever comes (you can turn it against him afterwards if he's humiliating you in any way).

Make through those steps and it's all fun. You'll start to see things differently. You'll start to see the light. It can make things better, you just have to make use of it. You can go to missions and earn shit-ton of cash afterwards, you won't turn crazy like the amerifats if you got the team running.

But seriously, it can be real great. You can do it.

I'm rooting for you.

>>34541679
>>34541780
Why do us robots often have "boring or small" dreams.

I am similar. I want to live in a 1 room apartment in NYC and bicycle to work in a small comfy job as a salesman somewhere. Even for a car all id want is a 80s sedan.
>tfw this will never happen

>>34551053
I have been telling myself for the past few years im gonna kill myself in my mid 20s. Im 22 now. Only a few years away

original barkeep here i'm back
>>34551641
and i don't know but its nice to talk to people who don't want to be super rich have a million kids

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Tonic and gin please. Long story short, I accidentally accused a lady of shoplifting. I called it out on my radio but when my manager angrily waited for her at the door I said "wait check the footage first!" for his opinion. He ignored me and confronted her anyway despite not even seeing it himself. I was going to apologize until she went full blown nigger yelling "Y'ALL RACIST WHITE TRASH CRACKAS GUN' BE UHRRESTED!! I'M CALLIN' THE POHHHLICE ON YOUU MUTHAFUCKAS" and "BITCHHH YOU'LL BE WORKIN' AT MCDONALDS WHEN I'M DONE WIT'CHU"
At least I'll have a job and not on welfare like her.

>police walk in concerned at us like we're the KKK
>ohgod.jpg
>"THESE RACIST MUTHAFUCKAS-"
>the police immediately cross their arms and don't take her seriously
>me and my manager sigh of relief
>they tell her that accusing her of stealing isn't against the law so we can't be arrested
>she argues with them and she makes herself look like the bad guy
>when the police left my coworker heard them laughing to each other:
>"haha, ohhh boy she thinks THAT'S racism?"
>"wow cursing in front of her kids, how nice"

I don't want to be fired or my manager get in trouble. I feel like quitting security because I'm so ashamed of myself....I'm so stupid... it took me years to convince myself I'm not dumb. Now she might take this to court.

Part 1

I just wrote a 3 page suicide letter to my father saying all the things he would interrupt me on or walk away from.

Be in my 20s

Work with him for less then a year( I have had like 15 jobs and never been fired

never introduces me to to clients, walks me around like I am his pet slave. Clients routinely go who is this

Tells me to do things on job site and then doubts the results checking everything I do even tho its right

Yells at me and has shorter temper then liberal tumblr feminazis

Cant be bothered to explain things to me then yells at me

Tells me I should know everything just by watching even tho the job is full of many variables

Actively acts like he can't be bothered to deal with people even tho its the main requirement of the job

Drank my whole childhood daily and taught me absolutely nothing about life

Routinely would never listen to anything I had to say and cut me off all of the time even tho I was right.

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Rum please.
How do I break out of the cycle of coming home and masturbating while browsing 4chan?

Part 2

Those of you who have shit lifes need to just join the military seriously, it does not get better and you have a short window of time to do it... if you have shit people in your life, you need to just bolt, cut toxic people out, if your toxic... go join the army asap, I know many kids who did it and they live great lives now. Go enlist and build a nest egg or you risk ending up like me. Shit happens as you get older, I blew out my back at age 22 and was waiting until 25 to enlist because I thought things would get better here.

There is no safe space in the world, you have to make your own, people are generally shit in life and thats a small part of it when you really look at the real dangers life has like cancer or chronic injuries or drug addiction... This board does not fill the void and despair we all share in common.

Its possible to enjoy this life but you need $$$$$ to do it and if you have nothing, aren't Chad, poor, or weird... joining the military will force you to asap and put 40-50k in your pocket after 4 years.... You can have an amazing life 5 years from now or you can have what you have now.

We were born to probably the shittiest generation of parents America has seen, they were mentally children who decided to have children and that shows in their shit upbringing.

I walk circles around those people in convos about politics or whatever. Most of them are zombies to shit tv shows or news programs that is hollow as fuck.

This world is your world and you need to get focused and you need to channel those feelings and stop giving a fuck about what girls, "friends", family think.

If you are here its because you see thru the worlds bullshit and you have felt it personally.

Good, now do something with that while you have your health and go out and make your mark on this world(a positive one).

Im going to paint some field with my brains tonight. I hope some of you do not end up like me. Godspeed, Can i get a space cowboy for the road?

>>34549057

where is your disc injury located at?

Mine was L4-L5 protruding on the S1 nerve with edema of the s1 never its self, are you having side effects with your body?

Your on work comp right? that is a fucking mess, lawyer up asap and don't let them bully you into a settlement, push for a micro disectonomy asap, if you do it after a year, you may not even want to do it at all.

It is really important to do it in the first 6 months.

I never did it and I have permanent damage from it sitting on my nerves for 3 years.

All those people in Work Comp are cunts, don't let them bully you.

T. 7 year victim of work comp

>>34541440
A cold bottle of Erdinger Weissbier would hit the spot.

I have virtually no human interaction on a day-to-day basis. It's really getting to me these days.

>>34551959
Don't feel bad
you thought she was acting suspiciouly and you confronted her that just shows your boss your actually paying attention
>>34552436
Fuck him
go out get a job in the field that your in if it pays we'll and cut him out
toxic people are contagious you'll never be happy with people who treat you like shit

>>34552546
you find something else to do it sounds easy but its not
>>34552594
i agree but the military is different in australia
>>34552722
That sucks
what kind of people do you want to interact with

>>34552742

I don't have that option any more, being injured really fucks up ur job prospects. I worked 6 part time jobs for 5 years before trying to working with him... 4 of those jobs were at the same time and I would work 7 days a week.

I have exhausted all opportunities and have nothing to my name.

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Hers your drink btw

>>34552827
People who aren't softminded normie faggots

>>34552829
how long till he retires and what happened how did you injure yourself

>>34552893
try some of the steam feels treads
and the discord servers on here

>>34552920
Noted. I'll keep it in mind

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I have lost all hope.

From my perspective I'm the only being I can tell is truly alive.

I feel as if I have been placed in a simulation to remain alone and empty my entire life. Perhaps this is punishment for a crime I committed in another life?

I can just tell that fate will never allow me to be happy, no matter what. Suicide is the only option.

Most of you are good people who sadly ended up in this cesspool. I wish you all the best of luck.

Farewell.

>>34541440
you a new guy? Usual tender here, welcome to the club if you are, good to see you again if not.

>>34553195
if life is a simulation
treat it like it
take it for a while do what you wont that wont get you arrested
hit on 10/10s call people faggots if you live life like its a simulation you might actually get more apppreciation for it
>>34553231
im a usual tender i also made one of these for new years

anything non-alcoholic for me, barman. Im almost managing to turn my life around, get out of bed early, look for a job, quit smoking and get out more, etc but then the feels hit me and i end up walking through the woods behind my house, sitting by the rail tracks and chain smoking cigarettes, not considering suicide, its just comfy there at night

>>34551270
fuck sakes anon, dont make me cry
I'll try

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[pic no related]

Good evening,
a drink of your finest's vodka please,
so, until last year I had passion on a girl,
never spoke to her before, 10/10
after someone discovered it about my secret love crush, I quit it thinking about her.
just today I had a dream with her talking to me.

>>34541440
Gin and tonic please

I'm scared about the future. I'm a twenty year old britbong studying English Lit and creative writing at Lancaster University, and I want to become an author after I graduate. The issue is I don't even know where to get started with getting published, and I don't know what I'll do if being an author doesn't work out. Can I make it, lads?

>>34542697
What are you doing/working on ?

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Shot of Jan Sobieski please, if you have it. If not I'll take Stolichnaya.

I basically created an imaginary girlfriend to cope with the feels of breaking up with my ex, and it's of kind of spiraled into something where I don't even know if I want a real girlfriend anymore. I almost love her like a real person.

I found a way to get the proper undiluted gas for an exit bag yesterday in my cuck of a country.

It's gonna be okay anons.

>>34555618
KilI yourseIf, normalfag.

Whiskey, on ice

>I'm a refugee robot, I'm under a normie disguise. Usually everything is okay and I'm super confident, gf obsessed with me, I can get a girl whenever, but something is missing in my life, and on nights like these...I feel it

>>34556526
Why can't idiots like you understand sad doesn't mean robot? You have a gf, for fuck's sake. Fuck off.

Can I get a Jameson double? I found out my grandfather is probably going to die within the week today and I'm not sure how to feel. He had a stroke a few years ago and Alzheimer's and dementia have left him kind of a shell of himself so in a way this is a relief. I don't really feel sad, I don't know how I should feel.

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I'll take a gin on the rocks because it's what I'm drinking right now

I've been NEET for over a year now living with my parents and I really am starting to wonder if it's worth trying anymore.
I'm 18 years old and I've been NEET twice in my life first at age 13 which caused all kinds of issues with social securities until we moved country and gave me a fresh start.
I got through a couple years of school because I was on a high dosage of anti depressants and anti anxiety medications but I decided to stop taking them about 2 years ago due to becoming a cold emotionless robot.
Got a pretty bad drug habit around the same time which caused me to drop out and lose all sense of direction in my life.
I've had loads of opportunities to better myself and my life but I've turned them down because of my literal aspergers and depression.
My choices right now are get a dead end job or try to go back to school which will most likely fail as I have no drive or motivation to do anything.
I feel as though I have completely missed out on life and there is only suffering ahead of me, I don't know who I am or what my personality is anymore and have become so angry and bitter at the world that I don't know if I'll ever get out of this shit.

>>34556547
>>>34556526 (You)
>Why can't idiots like you understand sad doesn't mean robot? You have a gf, for fuck's sake. Fuck off.

Who said I was sad? How about you better your life before you talk about mine you sack of shit, you don't know how shit I used to have it, for fuck's sake. Fuck off.

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>tfw realize i havent been thinking about exgf that much
>havent been looking at her social medias as much
>realize she must be feeling the same ways
Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is, man. It's like, you wake up every day and it hurts a little bit less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is, is that... this is kinda weird but it's like, it's like you almost miss that pain.

>>34556646
Boo hoo, poor you. Point still stands that you shouldn't be here.

>>34556657
Get out, normie. Nobody cares.

>>34556666
>>>34556646 (You)
>Boo hoo, poor you. Point still stands that you shouldn't be here.

Nice quads, people like you make me miss the old times on /r9k/ I can be wherever I want, my point still stands

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If it's on the house, gimme some Kopi Luwak.
>in b4 shit coffee

I placed my trust in the wrong person, and now my shitty novel that I planned to sell on the 'net has been leaked by a family member.
There was a "eyes only" warning on the first page, but the fuckface leaked it anyways.

>>34556708
You didn't make any points. You're here even though you can't relate to robots at all. Fuck off.

>>34556739
>>>34556708 (You)
>You didn't make any points. You're here even though you can't relate to robots at all. Fuck off.

I can relate pretty well, you just want to be special

Barkeep, I'll have a whiskey neat. I gotta tell you, I think things are going okay. Besides the whole oneitis thing, and even then she's in love with me so I could have it worse.

>>34556770
Why do you keep on greentexting like a retard?
Fact of the matter is you can't imagine what it's like to never have received intimacy.

I'll have a scotch.

I still have the same dream about my oneitis
I don't know why I still have it even tho I'll never see her again

>>34556748
>>34556812
>>>34556770 (You)
>Why do you keep on greentexting like a retard?
>Fact of the matter is you can't imagine what it's like to never have received intimacy.

Yes I can, was like that for about half my life, are you underage?

>>34556841
Johnny Platinum, on the house for my friend here. Tell me your story.

>>34556873
But you ended up getting it. Some people are unable to get it in the future.

>>34556924
Understandable, anon. I apologize, I don't know what type of day you're having or have had.

>>34556946
Don't apologize, asshole. Get the fuck out. Every time you normalfags pollute the board with mentions of sex or relationships you ruin my day.

>>34556666
I CAME JUST TO SAY CONGRATS ON THE QUADS

CONGRATS ON THE QUADS

>>34556997
>>>/s4s/
>>>/b/
What goes through people's heads when they make posts as stupid as yours?

Mimosa, please. I like girly drinks.

I'm starting to think I might be asexual. Broke a two year dry spell the other night and didn't enjoy myself very much. I'd like a family someday but don't really feel like it'd be fair to marry someone if I only want sex 1-2 times a month.

>>34557026
Hit the stacks, kid. We don't serve homos here.

>>34557026
>t. normalfag who can get sex
You can show yourself out.

>>34556972
>>>34556946 (You)
>Don't apologize, asshole. Get the fuck out. Every time you normalfags pollute the board with mentions of sex or relationships you ruin my day.

I hope you can see through this anger some how

Give me something sweet but strong.

I can't seem to get over my last crush. It's been almost a year already since I got rid of all ways to communicate with her and never talk with her again, and she was sensible enough to not try to contact me either.

It's not the first time I'm so hurt with someone I cut all strings, but it takes between a month and 3 or 4 to heal and keep moving. This time's different, I can't get to like any other girls, I still stalk her draw page and Instagram and always skip a beat when looking at a picture of her. I can't forget how I felt the days I spent in her house, and her face with tears rolling down. I hate myself for thinking that she was so beautiful then, but I can't help it.

I've had dreams where I meet her and she angrily asks me why did I severed all ties, why I left her alone without even saying anything. Why I left her when she still needed me on those nights when she was feeling lonely, or worried, or sad. I promised I'd stay with her until she didn't need me anymore, but I've come to know that she may have still needed me to listen to her and give advice.

I think I'll have a drink IRL, it hurts to put this into words.

>>34557060
>lol I won't acknowledge any of your points I'll just be condescending
Normies, everyone.

>>34541440
Broke a month of sobriety, havent drank since new years

drink up baby
look at the stars
i'll kiss you again
between the bars

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6CdsX2Wta8

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>>34542403
Dude just fucking date her and teach her the engrits. Three years will seem like nothing soon enough. Imagine being 24 and she is 21. You really don't want to fuck this up and continue kicking yourself for the next lifetime. Godspeed anon. Stop being so

>to intelligent for gf

pic related

barkeep, water and ice. i'm the designated driver tonight.

26. back in school. dropped drinking & drugging. 3rd semester. looking at a lucrative engineering degree. i'm working hard to maintain momentum.

and by working hard, i just mean smarter. more consistently.

something clicked for me last semester. instead of dragging my feet and having tons of work casting a shadow on me, i've been doing 4 hours of hw&study every day. i used to aim for 6 hours per day but it wasn't worth it for that last 10% bump in my grades. now i do 2 hours before classes and 2 hours after. coupled with class time, that's 42 hours of academia per week. i'm happy with the balance i've found.
it leaves me with enough time to work part time and earn a couple bucks on the side. i try to limit myself to 0 or 2 hours of productivity on saturdays then start my weeks on sundays.

i haven't been this proud of myself in ages, robots. there's rough spots here and there, with some days being a bit busier than others, but it all feels manageable. 2 hours morning and afternoon. that's all it took for me to get my brain screwed on right. i'm planning on teaching myself basic gym stuff this summer so i can incorporate it into my weekly schedule in the fall.

i'm psyched guys. absolutely psyched.

>>34557129
This. An acquaintance of mine has a 10-year-rule: no dating a girl older or younger than him by ten years, because that's the age difference between his parents.

>>34541440
Every time a baby sees me they start hysterically screaming and crying. Is this common or just a me thing?

>>34541440
That feel when you've wasted so much time and you're not really sure what you want to do, and can't afford to go to Uni

why did I have to be born a lazy piece of shit loser

>>34557215
I'm in love with a girl 7 years younger than me. Yes or no?

>>34557543

It can be tough. I'm 28 and dating a 22 year old and the maturity level can be a real stumbling block. And her friends annoy the hell out of me.

>>34557597
>dating
Get out, normalfag.

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>>34557543
Lest she's of illegal age and you might get caught, proceed.

>>34557543
I'm the guy from >>34557067 and this girl I'm talking about is around 7 years younger than me too. With 23yo I went to her city and spent 4 days at her home. I'm so ashamed of myself but they might be one of the most beautiful memories I have.

I say go for it if you can. A 7-years age difference is not that much when she gets to her 20s.

>>34544928
You'll find another one.

This too shall pass. Take comfort in that mantra. Nothing is forever anon.

>>34557597
She's very mature for her age.

>>34557647
I'm willing to wait til she's legal age, 3 years from now. And I'm one sneaky Jew ;)

>>34557651
She won't be in her 20s for awhile, hell, I haven't even started mine yet. Time changes everything though I guess.

>>34557728
When I met her she had barely turned 15. It didn't matter, her charm was almost suffocating. But if you're less than 20 that means she's 13 at best, that might be a bit too young. Wait a couple of years and if you don't change your mind then just give in.

And good luck to you, senpai.

>>34557761
Dead on, and that's what I'm gonna do. Give it a few years, come home from college when she's 15 or 16 and see where she is. 16 is legal here, and if my high school memories serve, 16 is when girls NEED to have it.

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>>34541440
>Really anxious about my porn addiction. I want to stop. I have weird fetishes but none of them seem to translate IRL but I'm afraid it may eventually if I don't do something about it. My anxiety is through the fucking roof.

>Had sex for the first time around two weeks ago. Interesting experience.

>Really like a girl at my work that's a few years my senior.

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I fucking hate feelings and relationships in general.

>>34557210
will you ever really be happy though?

>too tall to hang myself
Either that or the ceiling is too low hahaha :^)
My mom said I was always should have been a comedian.
I wish I had a gun or a nearby train to end it all with or an exit bag. I hate living.

>>34542600
Here's the deal, bro. You can spend the rest of your life trying to solve this "problem" or you can embrace it and move on. How much money are you going to spend to maybe, kind of fix this? How much time? How much effort? Then factor in all of the basic hair hygiene products and practices you will need to be doing to properly take care of your hair. Is it really worth it?

I knew at a young age I was going to be bald and I never fought it once. I'm happy as a clam that I did, too; as I haven't spent a dime on my hair in almost 10 years. I never have to worry about it being messed up, nobody can use it against me in a fight, it's super easy to stay dry while I'm working out and my scalp gets to see daylight. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have hair like a male model, but it passes just as quickly as it came as I think about all the reasons why I love my bald head, especially considering it would be going out of my way to maybe kinda have something quite conditional on the top of my head. If you ask me, the only hair a man should be concerned with is his beard. When people throw me shit about my bald head I tell them I laugh and tell them I love it as I appreciate the attention. Nobody gives a fuck if a man doesn't have hair.

Honestly man, embrace your scalp and reject your hair; it doesn't even want to be on your head anymore in the first place. Don't fight for something that's fighting to leave. Let it leave. Nature's giving you a way out of that frivolous money sucking, energy wasting, time sink. Grow a beard instead and never look back!

Godspeed, anon.

>>34558440
where u at, i will solve problem for free

Been going to a psychologist, maybe it will help, maybe it won't.
Either way, i'll try, even if it is for a month or two.

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>>34541440

> Grandpa died today. Got bacterial infection and went south pretty quick over the past day and a half.

> Past yr I nearly called him just to say hi let him know his grandson thinks of him from time to time even tho we were never close. Never did get around to the call...

Cya, space cowboy.

>>34541440
>tfw stuck in orbit for over a year

Last week she came around and watched some shows. Ended up with my head in her lap and her playing with my hair and mo and gently teasing, trying to provoke some play fighting which resulted in her sitting in my lap, holding hands and interlock fingers.

But the week before she outright stated to her friend that she feels nothing for me romantically and just wants to be friends.

I was just starting to pull away too, but I think she put in extra effort because she found out I hung out with another girl.

What do? I know people will say cut contact, but it's hard since we're in the same social circle and short of the orbiter thing I think she's literally perfect

>>34558589
You'd kill me? For free? With a gun hopefully?

>>34558371
no idea. life isn't about happiness tho.

i'm alive anyway so there are some things i want to do. right now i'm trying to get some income established.

>>34558658
you're a retard, she has already showed interest and you went too slow

if you want to get with a girl you essentially have to rape her, if she says no, then you stop, and never talk to her again, if she lets you fuck her then you're golden

you're a retard though and the best option is to spread chaos in your immidiate area

I stareted liking anime men ironically but now I think it's real
Help

Also whatever's strongest desu

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>>34558672
Yes, east coast or west coast?

>>34541440
This is breddy cool. I'll get some scotch.
I have a date tomorrow and I don't want to fuck it up. we barely text each other and I am surprised she even agreed. what should I do ?

>>34558718
East coast. Alabama.

>>34558698
I asked if she wanted to date July last year and she said no.

We shared a room a few weeks ago when we went away with friends but she pulled away any time I tried anything

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>>34558698
People don't get that all this asking and consent and timidity shit turns pussies dry. I did it for awhile, I would ask a girl before I kissed her. Now, I just make moves. Look at any Hollywood movie, when they have the girl in the car they don't ask if they can go for tit or pussy, they go for it and either get told yes or no. Good sex isn't about asking and asking and asking. It's right on the verge of a call to the cops, it's stopping when she says no but it's also tying her up with a belt and fucking her mouth because she didn't say "don't tie me up with a belt and fuck my mouth" and you know she finds the feeling of leather binding her wrists hot as fuck. Women want and crave cock worse than men crave and want pussies, once a month their bodies say "get pregnant or I'll hurt you" and they don't have a finger or a toy that can match the creativity or passion of a horny guy with a big cock or hell, even a little cock, a tongue and a plan to make her scream his name. Use each other for good sex and companionship.

give me a bailey's. i don't care what as long as it has bailey's in it

im currently 28 and living in a car with my friend. its been eight fucking weeks since i decided to do this. I need help and sad. It's just its hard for me to get motivated and shit and i want to do things but i feel like ill never got noticed for the good i might do or rewarded. I feel like life has hit its peak, now it only goes down from here

>>34558761
O wow we could do it easy then I am right near there(relatively), you said you are tall, are you fat? I don't want to do no fatty.

>>34558883
I am fat yeah. 224 lbs.

>>34558871
Here you go, Irish Famine, daddy's own blend. The famine is sobriety because I've put in scotch.

You know how much I'd kill to live in a car and travel the world free and homeless? Start doing odd jobs and relish in the freedom baby.

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I'm actually pretty alright currently. Academics have been a struggle but a few days ago I started going out with a qt girl I met in a class last semester who I've been hanging out with. I've posted on here about her many times before. She actually confessed to me last friday after dinner and I told her I felt the same way and all. Pretty much been dating her since then. I have some stuff planned for us for Valentine's day and V-day weekend so I'm looking forward to that. It'll be a nice surprise for her.

She's a real sweetie, and I'm a sucker for cutie types like her. More on the shy/awkward side but still pretty genuine and up front when she wants to be, and just pretty awesome in general. Hope we're together for a while.

>>34558908
I can do it right now over the Internet. Do you have bleach and rubbing alcohol in your house?

>>34558931
This. This is one of my dreams and the only reason I haven't done this (even without the car, just hitchhiking) is because I'm honestly scared about getting old and not having a place to crash.
That could be solved with a really good motorhome tho, but good ones are far beyond my financial capabilities, plus they need maintenance and without stable income it's hard.

I wish I had more balls to just drop everything, take my backpack and leave.

>>34558908
Works for me, but I don't think u really want it, just wait until society collapses and then we can RWDS together it will be more fun.

I need like thirty beers, and so many french fries.

>Dining at a restaurant with my favorite waiter
>waiter passes and ask how everything is
>I try to emphatically say 'Good!' but I respond too quick, too loud and my smile is too subtle
>He says 'Sorry, I'll be out of your way' and is distant the rest of the night
He'll probably always think about this when I go there now. He probably won't give as many pleasantries as he has.
I had a drink once I got home and thought about it. Here are the options I have thought up:

a. Ignore it. I think this will always taint me though. I am a stained white shirt.
b. Explain myself the next time I go there.
c. Alter my appearance so that he doesn't recognize me.
d. When he ask it again(if he ever does) respond similarly but more clearly emphatic so that he realizes that's what I meant.

c. is probably what I'll go with. With d., he probably will remember me and probably won't ask how my food is again ;-; and I don't want to say respond the same way again. b. I feel will taint my rapport in a different way.

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I just dont get this girl. We text each other all day and night. But in person its like she trys to avoid me. I just dont get it. Then sometimes she will say hi and in some cases go out of her way to do so.

>>34559122
Just ignore it my guy. I'm sure he'll just think it was one bad night.

>>34559034
i suppose i just to find some where to shower first
also my friend hasn't woken up in a few days, he's still warm and mumbles in his sleep so i need him taken care of first

currently in nebraska in walmart parking lot, desu im surprised i haven't gotten shanked yet,

Bar keep I am in a hole and I need something to make me forget about it.


Man I am screwed up emotionally. Depressed sad. I haven't been in a hole like this since about two years ago I planned and bought supplies to kill myself.

Hell I am smart, tall, handsome. I could be a Chad if I wasn't far as hell growing up and then had low self esteem in high school. I should have nothing to complain about. In the outside my life seems great.

Internally it's hell. I am naturally depressive. And my suicide "attempt" left me with some horrible trauma. I suffer from panic attacks now.

Well the reason I tried to kill myself and the reason I'm depressed now is my girlfriend. She is really clingy. I love her like family. We've been dating over six years. But that's because she has never let me leave. Never let me break up.

She always pulls me back in. And I'm just not that sexually attracted to her even though she's wonderful.
She is middle Eastern and her butt is hairy and she complains of pains in her legs a lot. And I just think her body isn't attractive even though she's not fat.

I feel like an ass hole. A stupid ass hole. And I really hate myself.

The crazy thing is I love her sister. Her sister is tall beautiful and is more attractive. I just like her way more but even though we had a secret love I had to break it off because I wanted to get more serious with my girlfriend at the advice of my therapist.

Well now here I am. In agony. Don't want to be with my girlfriend even though she is pushing for marriage. Clock is ticking. Wish I was with her sister. Really just wish I was dead actually. Sick of living and all romance feels and seems like bull shit to me now.

I don't want my girlfriend to leave my life but I don't want to be committed and be with her.

I feel like even more of an ass hole because she is a virgin and is basically r9ks dream

Suicide seems to be the easiest solution once again and the cleanest.

i had a dream t before i moved in with my dirty friend in the car.

I wanted to be a hacker and programmer. and not like those ddos kids either like i wanted full on cybersecurity, fuck i was balls deep into that shit, im fluent in about 8 different programming languages but i have never hacked or learned. i know that shits supposed to be illegal but i want to be one of the good guys you know? Like i wanted be like the NSA good hackers stop bad hackers and that kinda comic book bullshit

but then i realized how childish that shit was. The NSA don't want me! and if i tried to prove me skills i'd either fuck something up and get arrested or fuck something up and killed bye some sort of deepweb mercenery or something.

i kinda gave up on that pipe dream and eventually lost the will to live. fuck my parents kicked me out when i was 23. now here i amliving in a dirty car with a friend i have lost respect for years ago

what the fuck am i gonna do?

>>34542903
>Had a dream that I made friends again. Waking up from those is the worst.
dont become a jarhead man, youll never be free

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>>34546952
I feel like a fucking meme in even saying it but that's how I feel about myself, at least in regards to work in college. I'll have a deadline months in the future, do nothing until the last day, and scrape by with the top grade.

Lately I've even made an effort to stop this but when I sit down to do it unless it's at the point where I absolutely know I've got to I just can't, I'll sit there for hours with the work in front of me and do nothing.