JACKQUEST

>>44579
pee on the nearest person to you.

mark them as your territory

>>44579
Contemplate life choices.

>>44579
Rally the troops and tell GARRY to SHUT UP

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>>44604
In your FRUSTRATION, you begin to aim a WHIZZ in the direction of the CAB DRIVER. He flees for his safety.

You are then reminded of the presence of LADIES, and attempt to CALM YOURSELF. This doesn't exactly SUCCEED, but you at least pry your HAND from your CROTCH.

SERGEANT EEYELL immediately tries her best to forget she saw ANY OF THIS, and FAILS.

>>44657
At this point in time, it seems that your choices are to either START HEADING UP, or be forced to live an existence permeated with UNINTELLIGIBLE SIGNS and EQUINE POLICE FORCES. Such an existence sounds, quite frankly, hellish.

>>44684
You tell GARRY to SHUT UP and get over here.

The CAB DRIVER sensing that is now safe to return does so as well.

>>44786
START HEADING UP

>>44786
Asl all present what exactly lies beyond this colourful shitscape of wang vendors and robots. Then remember that you encountered two weird colourful robots back inside the actual prison, and ask about those too.

>>44786
Ask the soldiers if this SHIP can take you to the TOP OF THE CITY in a REASONABLY TIMELY MANNER.

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>>44877
You ask ALL PRESENT what exactly lies beyond this NEON HELLSCAPE.

TELLUM tells you that would be the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. ANGELA elbows him.

Remembering the COLORFUL ROBOTS you had a SKIRMISH with prior, you ask if any of them are LURKING around the city. The DRIVER has no idea, but GARRY perks up. You mean the CHICKEN LOOKIN' ONES, he asks. Yeah, you say. He says those are usually used for INTERGALACTIC DISPUTES AND STUFF. How'd you know about those anywho?

>>44900
Turning to the SOLDIERS, you ask if any of them can take you to the TOP OF THE CITY.

ANGELA and TELLUM seem eager, but EEYELL cuts them off. No, she says, orders were to LAY LOW after the ship was transferred into YOUR HANDS. They are to wait for further instructions elsewhere in the city.

ANGELA thinks on this for a moment, then clarifies that they can PROBABLY GIVE YOU A RIDE, at least out of the hangar.

>>44966
Become TIRED and HUNGRY. Head to the nearest FAST FOOD JOINT for some REFRESHMENTS.

>>44966
Good enough. Better than walking all the way back through what must have been TEN MILLION GODDAMN HANGARS again. Tell 'em to get you as close to your destination as they can.

>>44966
>Jack: Offer ANGELA your 32 dollars to masturbate you furiously

>>44966
"Well whaddaya waiting for?" them and be all snappy and authoritative.

Ask Garry why a machine designed to resolve interstellar conflicts would need automated punching powers, or be based down here in the city.

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>>45017
>>45035
You ask the SOLDIERS what the hell they're waiting for, and tell 'em to start getting a move on.

ANGELA laughs and calls you bossy. TELLUM asks her exactly what the plan is, and she tells him they're going to get their BOARDS! He tells her HELL YES and they make a RUN for the STARCUTTER.

EEYELL simply stands by idly.

>>44986
You tell her that you are going to the nearest FAST FOOD JOINT for REFRESHMENTS.

She tells you that you just ate TWO WHOLE PIZZAS.

You turn to GARRY and inquire why an INTERGALACTIC DISPUTE RESOLVER has piston punching abilities. He looks confused and asks why WOULDN'T IT?

He then inches over. He offers his hand and says thanks, by the way. You kinda avenged JERRY and all, and saved his ass. He really owes you one.

>>45108
>She tells you that you just ate TWO WHOLE PIZZAS.

who the FUCK does this BITCH think she is

SLAP her in the FACE and continue to the nearest FAST FOOD JOINT.

>>45108
Ask EEYELL what the hell they meant by BOARDS, an how long this is gonna take. You're kind of in a HURRY here.

>>45108
You meant you were going to get A DRINK. What does she think you are, some sort of HUNGRY BASTARD?

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>>45129
Becoming IRRITATED at her utterance of such an OBVIOUS STATEMENT, you stalk over to the SERGEANT and PAP her in the face with a PIZZA SLICE.

She deftly blocks it and tells you no.

>>45228
You clarify that you were going to get a damn DRINK, what does she THINK you meant?

She tells you uh-huh.

>>45179
You then ask her what the hell they mean by BOARDS. She jerks her thumb over to the other two, who have emerged from the STARCUTTER, carrying red TWO-WHEELED DEVICES. On second inspection, they have NO WHEELS AT ALL.

ANGELA tosses one, which EEYELL swiftly catches with a SIGH. She then hop on, and the DEVICE begins to HOVER above the ground.

She tells you three to HOP ON.

The DRIVER looks at everyone and says that he needs to STAY HERE to MAN THE SHIP! You ask him if he has ever driven one of these things before, to which he replies that he HASN'T. That's just great, you say. He nods excitedly. You can always CALL HIM if you need to ask him something he says, and ADDS HIMSELF to your CONTACTS before you can FIRMLY REFUSE.

CAB DRIVER has been added to your CONTACTS

TELLUM and the DRIVER say their sad goodbyes. Looks like its time for you and GARRY to HOP ON.

>>45108
Consider wheter you feel compassion towards Imps or not, and whether handshakes creep you out unless both participants are bleeding.

See what the Driver's doing. Maybe he can grab your snacks.

>>45283
Let's get going. Tell GARRY that if he really feels like thanking you, working as your, uh... muscle(?) for a while might be a good start.

>>45283
DITCH the DRIVER and TAKE the CAB

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>>45390
>>45398
You tell GARRY that the best way of SHOWING YOUR THANKS would be to USE A LITTLE MUSCLE.

He asks you what that means, and you tell him to come with you damn it. He nods and hops on TELLUM'S BOARD. You hop on ANGELA'S because she likes PIZZA. She looks pleased and puts on her HELMET as her teammates do the same.

EEYELL says its time to move out, before the PARTY launches through the doorway and out into the HANGAR BAY.


STUNTS are pulled. RAILS are grinded. You're pretty sure that ANGELA does a couple of FRONTFLIPS on purpose. GARRY looks a little sick on his third MCTWIST.

The five of you speed through to the EXIT TRANSPORTALIZER, where the SOLDIERS slow to a halt. They UNEQUIP their boards, as TELLUM eases a queasy looking GARRY to the floor.

Back in the PROCESSING FACILITY, the PARTY smushes into a SERVICE ELEVATOR. EEYELL tells you she has no idea where any of these go.

>>45532
Jack: Ride service elevator all the way up.

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>>45557
You tell her to punch the HIGHEST FLOOR. She obliges.

You all arrive at LEVEL 1: RESIDENTIAL. The sky seems to have turned a shade of MAGENTA. The tops of buildings surround you from all sides, and a large number of FLYING VEHICLES head this way and that. A LARGE POINTY BUILDING dominates the horizon.

As ANGELA and TELLUM ogle at their first view of the outside world in months, EEYELL turns to you. She says that this is where you'll be parting ways, but she hopes that your mission is a success. Whatever it is.

>>45604
She drug you all the way up here just to leave? Seriously? Tell her to fuck off.

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>>45662
You tell the SERGEANT to FUCK OFF.

She tells you she sure will. She tells her fellow SOLDIERS to get a move on, and they all begin to head ELSEWHERE. ANGELA waves back at you and tells you that you should eat pizza with her again sometime, to which you respond with a MIDDLE FINGER.

TROLLS, you swear.

You and GARRY are left alone amidst the neon glow.

>>45720
Head towards the LARGE POINTY BUILDING.

>>45720
Approach the LPB cautiously, there might be cops about.

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>>45739
Suspecting it to be the HIGHEST POINT IN THE CITY, you and GARRY begin making your way to the LARGE POINTY BUILDING across the nearby suspended pathway.

>>45764
You note that there seems to be an increased presence in COP ACTIVITY; they roam in PAIRS, and seem to be asking PASSERBYS about THINGS. THINGS you are sure pertain to YOU.

You suddenly get a VERY LOUD CALL. It appears to be from the CAB DRIVER. One of the COPS rears its head in your direction.

>>45792
Hide in a dark alleyway and inform CD that this is NOT A GOOD TIME.

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>>45835
Yanking GARRY by the collar, you make a break out of the advancing crowd towards a nearby SKY-ALLEY. The COP trots into the THRONG, disappearing from VIEW.

Crouching under a SUSPENSION LADDER, you tell the DRIVER that this is NOT a GOOD TIME. He tells you excitedly that climbing to the TOP OF THE SHIP gives you GOOD SIGNAL! You tell him to make it quick.

He tells you that he gave GARRY the SIGNAL RELAY DEVICE to give to YOU. He also tells you that you need to activate it NEAR the HIGHEST POINT; if its CLOSE ENOUGH, it will take a few minutes to GATHER COORDINATES before he can come PICK YOU UP.

You tell GARRY to GIVE YOU THE THING.

You acquire the THING (SIGNAL RELAY DEVICE).

You hear a RUSTLING nearby, behind some TRASH CANS.

>>45909
Quietly inspect TRASH CANS

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>>46059
You inch over to the TRASH CANS, knife primed for STABBING.

A SQUARE FACE pops out and asks if it isn't his FAVORITE CUSTOMER. It appears to be a familiar ANDROID, by the name of ILLEGAL CONTRABAND. He sits surrounded by BOXES of STUFF, more than likely NOT LEGAL.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zd3q8tGl8bI

He asks you WHAT'S GOOD.

>>46126
You always have time for knives. Ask him what he's got.

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>>46247
You ask him what he's got. He's more than happy to lay out his WARES.

>DUCT TAPE- 5 DOLLARS
>DECK OF SMUTTY MODERNAN PLAYING CARDS- 10 DOLLARS
>BOTTLE OF SMUGGLED FOREIGN WHISKEY- 20 DOLLARS
>STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE (RESTOCK)- 25 DOLLARS
>KATANA- 80 DOLLARS
>HOME ALONE 3 on VHS- 99 DOLLARS

He says REPEAT CUSTOMERS get a discount, especially those that appreciate a good MELEE WEAPON under FIVE FEET.

>>46322
Buy another knife. You can never have enough of the things.

>>46322
Buy duct tape and whiskey.

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>>46380
You buy another STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE.

He says he knew how you liked 'em.

This brings your TOTAL to 2 DOLLARS.

You now have 2x STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE.

>>46410
You have INSUFFICIENT FUNDS!

IC says that you can of course SELL things to him, as he never has enough CONTRABAND. What a concept!

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>>46448
Whoops, sorry, total is 7 DOLLARS.

You buy the DUCT TAPE. He says don't worry, this is perfectly ILLEGAL.

NOW your TOTAL is 2 DOLLARS.

>>46448
Ask him if he'll take the PROSPITIAN TOOTH. Maybe someone collects this stuff?

>>46448
Ask how highly he values a free trip off of the station.

>>46461
Sell him the half bloodied steal pipe. It has to be worth some moolah since it's actually killed someone. He can sell it to some mall ninja.

>>44579
>homestuck
Dropped

>>46500
Don't do this. He is a wonderful illegal weapons dealer and you love him more than your hypothetical children that you were totally going to have with Ms. Paint.

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>>46468
You offer him the PROSPITIAN TOOTH. He asks you if its a REAL TOOTH, and you say its genuine 100% PROSPITIAN. He thinks it over, before asking if you acquired it WITH PERMISSION. You reply of course not, to which he simply takes it and hands you 8 DOLLARS.

Your total is now 10 DOLLARS.

>>46503
You then offer him the 2x HALF BLOODIED STEEL PIPE.

Appraising it, he asks if that is YOUR BLOOD, to which you reply it isn't. He looks it over, in his hands, before bonking GARRY with both pieces. Ignoring his protests he affirms that it is in good condition.

You then tell him a NINJA broke it. He looks as surprised as an ANDROID can, and asks if you mean a BLACK OPERATIVE? You ask if if that means robot ninja, and he says yes and hands you 15 BUCKS for the thing.

You now have 25 DOLLARS.

>>46500
You contemplate THREATENING the VENDOR by insinuating he may drop a FEW LEVELS, but he seems TOO COMPLIANT to properly mug.

GARRY however is probably considering it.

>>46566
>>46582
Whoa whoa whoa, wait, I didn't mean kill/threaten him! I really, actually meant a ride off the station in our newly acquired ship.

>>46582
Buy the SMUTTY PLAYING CARDS. You haven't known the touch of a woman since Ms. Paint, and you'll take what you can get.

>>46566
Jack: Ponder whether carapacians can actually have children.

>>46582
Buy whiskey. You said you were stopping for a drink and dammit you're getting one.

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>>46615
Owning up to your ABJECT LONELINESS, you purchase the SMUTTY PLAYING CARDS. It's filled with GREY HORNED WOMEN, most of which have their TITS OUT. Pretty much what you expected.

Your total is now 15 DOLLARS.

Garry swears and says he wish he brought his wallet.

>>46635
This, naturally, leads you to begin thinking of HOMELY FAMILIES and CHILDREN.

You DISPERSE this thought IMMEDIATELY. If you could stab a thought you would have stabbed that one. A lot.

You then begin to wonder if you can physcially harm a THOUGHT in this universe. Yeah probably.

>>46604
Having decided that he is surprisingly USEFUL, you offer IC a ride OUT OF HERE on your NEW SPACESHIP.

He says you got a SHIP. Yeah, you say, the STARSOMETHING. Never heard of that one, he says. Yeah well it'll get you off this garish rock, you say, you want in? He scratches his ANTENNAE, thinking. He says there was a STING on the CORRIDOR a couple hours ago, nothing really new, but it WAS the second time this decade and that sets a pretty bad precedent you know? Makes an android feel like he can't sell his CONTRABAND in PEACE no more.

>>46691
Say that he gets room and board on the ship for the whiskey.

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>>46709
>>46689
You tell the ANDROID that you'll give him ROOM AND BOARD upon the STARSOMETHING, in exchange for the FOREIGN WHISKEY. And by that you mean ALL the FOREIGN WHISKEY.

He extends a ROBOTIC ARM, shaking YOURS. He sees an EXCELLENT PARTNERSHIP in your MUTUAL FUTURE, MR....

Y'know, he never did get your name.

>>46753
Mr. Spade

We've had too many people recognize our name.

>>46753
Mr. Noir. He's been pretty straightforward with us, so he at least deserves an honest answer.

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>>46773
You tell him it's SPADE. MISTER SPADE.

GARRY looks at you, brows raised, but you glare at him and he keeps quiet.

ILLEGAL CONTRABAND notices none of this. He simply asks you when and where you'll PICK HIM UP, Mister Spade. He just needs to gather his STUFF.

>>46800
We'll be honest when we're picking him up and the immediate bullshit has been dealt with.

>>46803
Tell him we have to go climb that tower, scope out the cosmic current and all that astronavigational bullshit. then we'll get in touch. Ask for a way to notify him.

>>46803
Tell him to ASCEND TO THE HIGHEST POINT OF THE BUILDING to his immediate right. You'll pick him up when you can, but he'll probably have to hurry when you show up, you know, seeing as the AUTHORITIES won't like an unauthorized ship flying around under the QUARANTINE and all.

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>>46847
You tell the ANDROID that you'll pick him up after a bunch of EXERTIVE TEDIOUS BULLSHIT has been dealt with, including heading to the top of that BIG POINTY BUILDING up ahead.

He says that's PAGODA BROADCASTING, they love him over there! They've only knocked his pitches down seven or eight times. He's not even allowed in the building anymore, they're playing hard to get.

>>46865
You tell him NO, he's going to go to ASCEND as damn well as he can to the TOP OF THAT BUILDING over there, pointing to a random one on your RIGHT. He'll have to BOOK IT when he sees the SOLE SPACESHIP flying around.

He looks up and says he'll meet you up there MISTER SPADE, and GOOD LUCK with ALL THAT BULLSHIT. He returns to his BOXES and begins rummaging around.

GARRY tells you that MISTER SPADE is a pretty badass name. You barely acknowledge him, instead plotting your NEXT MOVE.

>>46912
Alright so we need a diversion to get by the cops without getting hassled.

What say we drop a slice of pizza so that some chump slips and falls of the bridge and we get out of there in the confusion?

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>>46957
Heading to the edge of the ALLEYWAY, you look out into the THRONG. While not as swamped as MARKET ROW, there is still a pretty heavy crowd.

You throw a PIZZA SLICE as SUBTLY AS YOU CAN, and it plops onto the BRIDGE. You wait for some POOR SUCKER to slip to his DOOM. Here comes one right now-

Before he puts his foot down, he notices the PIZZA. He seems EXCITED, and begins eating the FLOOR PIZZA with great gusto.

The surrounding crowd is SICKENED.

>>47030
Slip by while the crowd ogles at this PUBLIC HEALTH VIOLATION.

>>47030
Take advantage of the crowd's DISGUST and make your way to the building. Look for a fire escape or something to climb.

>>47030
Start a lynch mob. This guy is a degenerate and should get what's coming to him.

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>>47067
You and GARRY make your way past the DISGUSTED CROWD. The MAN WITH NO SELF-RESPECT looks around in confusion, and is subsequently harassed by COPS.

You arrive in front of the MAIN PLAZA. PAGODA BROADCASTING stands front and center; FOREIGN CARTOONS and INTERGALACTIC NEWS flash on screens that are WAY TOO BRIGHT.

There seems to be a main entrance, flanked by NUMEROUS COPS, as well as a SERVICE ENTRANCE to the side for STAFF.

>>47092
You tell GARRY to get OBNOXIOUS, and whisper instructions.

He shrilly yells to the MEANDERING PUBLIC that THAT GUY is eating PIZZA OFF THE GROUND.

In a mix of SHOCK and OUTRAGE but mostly OUTRAGE, a large MOB begins to form. Several COPS are dispatched from the MAIN ENTRANCE, leaving TWO BEHIND.

>>47119
Try and slip into the service entrance.

>>47119
Create a DASTARDLY DISGUISE by repurposing your remaining PIZZA SLICE into a PIZZA BEARD

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>>47138
The two of you head over to the SERVICE ENTRANCE.

It seems to be mainly for VEHICLES. A LARGE DOOR opens up for a NEWS VEHICLE that hovers inside, before CLOSING SHUT. There also seems to be a KEYCARD SCANNER off to the side.

A CAMERA surveys the scene, swaying back and forth.

>>47179
Wait for the door to open again, then rush inside. Stab anyone who tries to stop you.

>>47179
Throw pizza at camera to blind it then run in next time it opens.

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>>47170
You repurpose your remaining PIZZA SLICE into a fabulous PIZZA BEARD. You just kind of slap it on your face.

GARRY blinks.

>>47198
Before you can explain, you HOP onto the back of the next NEWS VEHICLE. You gesture for GARRY to hurry his ass, and he just manages to catch up before the door CLOSES SHUT behind you.

You're NOT SURE if you managed to dodge the CAMERA.

Your VEHICLE begins to pull into a PARKING SPACE in what appears to be BRIGHT GARAGE.

>>47207
The PIZZA has been REPURPOSED.

>>47252
Wait to see if anyone gets out, then stab them.

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>>47280
A VERY TIRED WORKER exits the vehicle, lugging a CAMERA.

You promptly STAB THEM TO DEATH.

They let out a long groan and COLLAPSE.

>>47305
Bloodlust temporarily sated, look for an exit.

>>47305
Take the CAMERA, making sure it wasn't recording. Also make sure nobody's around.

>>47305
Take his clothes, backpack, camera, and key card. You want to look like you're supposed to be here.

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>>47353
You acquire the CAMERA. It seems to have been TURNED OFF at the moment of STABBING. GARRY takes the BACKPACK before it gets too BLOODY.

Looking about you, it seems that, aside from a LONE CAMERA and a NEW CORPSE, you are ALONE.

>>47341
The CAMERA is pointed towards a LONE ELEVATOR. Next to it is a STAIRWELL.

>>47368
Fuck stairs, let's take the elevator.

>>47368
Make the CORPSE look like a SLEEPING person via CAREFUL MANIPULATION.

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>>47366
You tell GARRY to search for a KEYCARD, which he finds MOMENTARILY. He throws it to you; it has the DERSITE'S ACCESS CODE.

You then UNDRESS the poor sucker, taking his CLOTHES. A little MESSY but they'll do. You take the CAMERA with you as well seeing as it is probably PRETTY BLUNT.

>>47410
You take the DERSITE'S hand and place two fingers up his NOSE. Garry says yeah, that looks good.

>>47388
Freshly DISGUISED, you and GARRY head over to the ELEVATOR. It seems to only go up to the LOBBY.

GARRY looks at you, gulping. Looks like you'll have to find the MAIN ELEVATOR out in the LOBBY if you want to ASCEND QUICKLY, he says.

>>47453
Let's do this.

Set something on fire before you leave though.

Put on your POKER face for minimized SUSPICION.

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>>47504
You always have your POKER FACE on.

>>47473
You ask GARRY if he knows how to DISASSEMBLE any of these pieces of junk and MAKE THEM EXPLODE. He says no, he's only ever SHIPPED THEM. Irritated at your unsatisfied ARSONLUST you tell him to get in the damn elevator.

You arrive in the LOBBY.

Everything is BRIGHT and LOUD, unsurprisingly. REPORTERS bustle here and there as do ERRAND BOYS and the occasional COP.

>>47603
Look around for figures of interest.

>>47603
YELL that the STORY of the century is happening OUTSIDE so you can PROGRESS unhindered

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>>47629
You look about.

There doesn't seem to be anyone of PARTICULAR INTEREST. There is a number of DAMES manning the HELP DESK, a couple COPS talking with REPORTERS near the FRONT DOORS, a-

You are suddenly smacked upside the head with a NEWSPAPER. This is especially UPSETTING to you.

An irritated voice says look who FINALLY decided to show up to work today.

It appears to be a FURIOUS SALAMANDER. He says that you better have brought his coffee ASSHOLE, he doesn't care if its six hours late it better be GOOD and LUKEWARM.

GARRY silently shakes his head very, very slowly.

>>47665
Direct him to an out of sight alcove with the promise of the most ostentation lukewarm coffee he's ever laid eyes on.

Then stab him.

>>47706
Meant ostentatious.

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>>47706
Between sears of RAGE and MEMORIES and MEMORIES THAT BRING YOU RAGE, you tell your "boss" that you got him coffee so lukewarm, you could wrinkle his toes in it.

He says you're a right COMEDIAN and whaps you again with the NEWSPAPER. He tells you that he's on in TEN and you're to COME WITH HIM IMMEDIATELY.

He books it for the MAIN ELEVATOR, and you barely manage to follow without strangling a nearby CIVILIAN. GARRY remarks that that guy is so screwed and you tell him to shut his face.

Making it to the ELEVATOR, he chides you on being slow. You see that the elevator goes up to the 69TH FLOOR, and he presses the button for the 42ND.

He asks who your DUMB LITTLE FRIEND is, pointing his PAPER at GARRY.

>>47750
Stab him fifty eight time, only in the arms and legs.

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>>47776
Oh him, you ask, pointing to GARRY ,before stabbing the little asshole FIFTY EIGHT TIMES, a STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE in EACH HAND.

GARRY swears loudly as he gets splashed with BLOOD. The SALAMANDER shrieks in MORTAL PAIN. The nearby crowd recoils in HORROR, screaming and running this way and that, alerting the ENTIRE LOBBY to your presence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xMWvzDLl5c

The ELEVATOR opens up with a DING, and a SUITED DERSITE begins to walk out. He notices the TWITCHING SALAMANDER on the floor.

Oh geez!

>>47750
Wring his neck

TL;DR of WHAT has HAPPENED.

>>47825
Nice suit. Go for the face stab, and try not to get any blood on it. Enter the elevator, head for the ROOF, and change clothes.

File: 066c0157d2160cb0701a92ef442cb842.png (434KB, 538x538px) Image search: [Google]

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>>47847
MURDER

sorry, its been a wild ride, closest thing to a tldr is that we need to get to the top of this building to triangulate warp coordinates to get off this space station planet city

>>47848
Admiring the man's SUIT, you stab a KNIFE directly into his FOREHEAD and kick him back into the ELEVATOR.

A POLICE FORCE is galloping towards you, so GARRY shoves you in and begins pushing BUTTONS. The DOOR almost CLOSES, but not before a COP sticks his METAL HAND through and begins to pry the doors OPEN.

>>47870
Attempt to find a seam in the cop's hand to jam a knife into.

>>47870
Counter and push back his METAL HAND with YOUR OWN.

File: 24129587128957123456.png (2KB, 151x278px) Image search: [Google]

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>>47886
You jam a BLOODY KNIFE into the the COP'S PALM and WIGGLE AROUND, dislodging several PANELS.

>>47898
You then SMASH your METAL FIST inside of HIS, ripping into the WIRES. When satisfied you YANK BACK, tearing off the WHOLE ARM.

The ELEVATOR CLOSES, and begins to ASCEND. GARRY sinks to the floor, STUNNED.

>>47848
You mosey on over to the DEAD GUY and retrieve your KNIFE. You then retrieve his SUIT.

Eh, a little BLOOD got on it, but it looks alright. You put it on.

Yeah. This feels good.

>>47972
that heart- did we just stab HB?

>>47996
nah, that's just salamander blood

>>47972
Put a piece of tape over the blood so you don't raise suspicion. Make a mental note to find a DRY CLEANER later.

>>47996
I think that's just a bloodstain that's kind of shaped like a heart. All versions of HB are dead or Horse-Calendar'd at this point.

>>47972
Ready the SIGNAL RELAY DEVICE, and activate it the second you get out of the elevator.

File: 902459d67436dfd36c2e05a78528aa71.png (750KB, 886x1181px) Image search: [Google]

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>>47996
You inspect the CORPSE.

Nobody you know, just some dead guy. Who is now naked. You throw the PIZZA BEARD on him to cover him up,

>>48023
You then put a SQUARE OF DUCT TAPE over the BLOOD, in order to stay INCOGNITO. Visiting a DRY CLEANER somewhere out there is added to your immense TO-DO LIST.

The ELEVATOR suddenly slows to a halt. An AUTOMATED VOICE comes onto the speakers, alerting you of an IMMINENT ELEVATOR POWER SHUTDOWN. This is followed by an announcement of a SECURITY ALERT.

Whoops.

>>48041
Look for a maintenance hatch.

>>48041
Use the combined might of your METAL HAND and the ROBOCLOP's HAND to pry open the door.

File: 9830194712891.png (2KB, 151x278px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48054
Engaging in a FORCEFUL 2x METAL HANDJOB, you pry the ELEVATOR DOORS forcibly OPEN.

You are greeted with the DARKNESS often associated with ELEVATOR SHAFTS.This DARKNESS begins to pulsate RED as the SECURITY ALERT is PROCESSED.

Looking at the ELEVATOR MONITOR, you seem to be on the 38TH FLOOR.

>>48049
You look UPWARDS, and pry off the MAIN LIGHT. There is a HATCH that you pop open, leading upwards into the SHAFT.

GARRY says no, please not HEIGHTS.

>>48066
Climb up into the SHAFT and examine your surroundings.

>>48066
It's either up here or in the pen, Garry. Offer him a hand.

File: fbe957e132f1fbb7701692c45224cb1e.jpg (147KB, 700x922px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48092
You climb upwards into the SHAFT.

It is CRAMPED, and an EMERGENCY LADDER on the wall heads UPWARDS.

>>48099
GARRY whines again, and you tell him that you'll leave him there with the DEAD GUY. You put your LONGER ARM in there and HOIST him out.

Are you ready to ASCEND?

>>48066
You've always appreciated a nice, long SHAFT. Start climbing.

>>48104
Try to replace the light first.

>>48104
ASCEND more rapidly.

File: KONE-UltraRope-in-elevator-shaft-2.jpg (787KB, 2000x1414px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48105
You start CLIMBING. GARRY, after a MINUTE of INDECISIVENESS, follows your lead.

Besides the THROBBING RED LIGHT, your climb is surprisingly UNEVENTFUL. The two of you ASCEND at an unknown pace.

This would be a good time for a song to play, you guess, while you reflect on everything you've done today.

Of course, no song plays, because it's an ELEVATOR SHAFT. All is quiet, aside from your short breaths, and GARRY'S haggard ones.

You finally RUN OUT OF LADDER.

The DOOR above reads 69TH FLOOR.

>>48131
Open the door, activate the relay device, and get ready to kill any motherfucker that tries to stop you.

File: sample_5490631a1b64447a6c32bc9f86668a67.jpg (322KB, 850x566px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48143
After PRYING the DOORS OPEN, you activate the RELAY DEVICE. It begins to ESTABLISH A CONNECTION.

You peek your head up and into the ROOM, ready to STABLUNGE any poor sucker that gets in your way.

You are greeted with... an empty office.

>>48160
Express your frustration by stabbing a random item of furniture

>>48160
STABLUNGE some INANIMATE OBJECT in the office to gain STREET CRED.

File: 9b1add30d9ac2e40c7a557b27eeb39ce.png (341KB, 646x986px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48185
>>48186
You enter the EMPTY OFFICE with a FEROCIOUS STABLUNGE anyway.

An OFFICE CHAIR is MURDERED SENSELESSLY.

GARRY looks as confused as you are. He looks around and checks a few doors. No NINJAS or anything. Just more STAIRS.

You suddenly get a CALL from the CAB DRIVER!

>>48192
Answer the phone in a HARD-BOILED MANNER.

>>48192
Barricade the doors with OFFICE FURNITURE while you talk with CD.

File: a67952b37c1b66b98aca460e93491c5d.png (80KB, 524x612px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48213
>>48227
You say HELLO, YES, THIS IS JACK NOIR.

He says its the CAB DRIVER! You say yes you know. He tells you that the SHIP just received signal from the RELAY DEVICE and its booting up some kind of PROGRAM. When its CONNECTED, it should just take a COUPLE MINUTES to find out the WARP COORDINATES, and then we can all GET OUT OF HERE!

He says that he can FIND YOUR LOCATION through your PHONE'S GPS and he'll be there to PICK YOU UP. He'll text you when the PROGRAM BEGINS.

You say you're busy making a wall of office chairs, and hang up.

GARRY places the RELAY DEVICE on a nearby TABLE, one of the few you have not placed against the WINDOWS.

Wind howls down from the nearby STAIRWELL.

You think it might be time to make any last minute CHANGES before you ascend FURTHER.

>>48238
Look for another suitable weapon in the office. Failing that, just break off a table leg or something and hand it to Garry.

>>48251
You and GARRY root around the OFFICE.

You find:

>1x Pair of Scissors
>2x Stapler
>1x Dry Erase Marker
>4x Markers
>2x Rubber Bands

Your INVENTORY:
>BADASS EYEPATCH
>ROBOTIC ARM STUB equipped with METAL FIST
>15 DOLLARS
>15 DOLLARS
>2x STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE
>1x ADVANCED CELL PHONE
>2x TOOTH HALVES
>1x CAMERA
>1x BOTTLE OF FOREIGN WHISKEY
>1x ROLL OF DUCT TAPE

>>48268
Wonder why 15 DOLLARS was listed twice.

File: Slicks.png (24KB, 250x593px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48279
15 DOLLARS LISTED TWICE? What 15 DOLLARS LISTED TWICE? Only in your WILDEST DREAMS could MONEY just DOUBLE like that.

>>48263
>>48268
Equip GARRY with the SCISSORS, and ASCEND FURTHER.

>>48263
Combine the STAPLERS using a RUBBER BAND and/or some DUCT TAPE to create the STAPLER TWOFOLD. Marvel at the complete uselessness of this object, and wonder what possessed you to create it.

File: spades_slick_by_auxiliarykilometer-d377k1z.png (12KB, 370x600px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48294
You equip GARRY with the PAIR OF SCISSORS in his OFFHAND, to pair with his CROWBAR.

>>48297
You combine the STAPLERS with the RUBBER BAND, using DUCT TAPE to seal the UNHOLY UNION, creating the dreaded STAPLER TWOFOLD.

THIS

IS

completely useless. You pocket it anyway because.

Ascend?

>>48306
Y

File: spades_slick_by_queasyspaceship-d3f7ce4.jpg (320KB, 780x2295px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48309
You ASCEND to the HIGHEST POINT IN THE CITY.

You open a door, and walk out onto a ROOFTOP. The CITYSCAPE dazzles you from BELOW a MAGENTA SKY.

A HOODED FIGURE sits on the opposite side, looking DOWNWARDS.

>>48327
oh FUCK

maybe you should
just kind of
turn around and descend back into that office
and hope the hooded figure didn't see you

>>48327
Acknowledge the FIGURE in the most badass way you can muster.

File: 24918271892.png (4KB, 579x475px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48343
You attempt to have SECOND THOUGHTS on this matter, and FAIL FANTASTICALLY.

>>48344
You yell out HEY ASSHOLE and throw the DRY ERASE MARKER. Nice going.

The figure SWATS IT AWAY without looking.

He says hey, Jack. He honestly didn't expect you to show up. He stands up, patting off his pants before turning to face you. He takes off his HOOD.

You have no idea who this is.

>>48362
Vaguely recall SUNGLASSES.

>>48362
Ask POINTY GLASSES DUDE about the nature of his interest in you.

File: 24918271892.png (4KB, 444x361px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48375
Something about this guy's SUNGLASSES brings back MEMORIES, seemingly FORGOTTEN. You try to PLACE HIM.

He says that he's really disappointed in you.

>>48379
You ask him what his DEAL is with you.

His deal? He says his deal is that he wanted to give you a CHANCE Jack. He wanted to see what would happen when you got OUT.

You can't CHANGE THE WORLD, JACK, when all you want to do is KILL IT.

>>48398
Shout obscenities at the ASSHOLE.

>>48398
Keep him talking to buy some time. Text CD, let him know where IC is, and tell CD to pick him up first, and then get you.

>>48398
Does this look like a world that wants to change? Everyone's too busy being 'safe' and 'normal'. Your random acts of violence are doing this place a favor.

File: 24918271892.png (13KB, 500x410px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48410
You shout just about every OBSCENITY you can think of at this POINTY-HAIRED PRICK.

He stands there and listens.

>>48421
While you do this, you attempt to reach for your PHONE in order to MESSAGE CD.

A BLUR, and it is GONE. It is now in the hands of the SHADES GUY.

He says for you to shut up and listen to him. Murdering just about EVERY CIVILIAN YOU ENCOUNTERED was one thing, but HIRING them to lug your SHIT? He points a finger at GARRY. What the hell is wrong with you?

GARRY tells him to shut up, asshole, his friend is DEAD because of you.

He has no words for that.

>>48433
You tell the SHADES DUDE that your MURDERS were the best damn thing to happen to this TOWN in a LONG WHILE. You don't regret a THING.

He stares at the two of you and sighs, before VIBRATING slightly. The PHONE returns to your hand.

He tells you get your ONE PHONE CALL, and then you're done.

>>48480
Call CD.

File: 1366865650279.png (14KB, 500x213px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48485
You call the DRIVER.

He says he was just about to call YOU. He got your SIGNAL, and the COUNTDOWN should start ANY MOMENT NOW! You tell him thanks for nothing before hanging up.

The DUDE looks at the two of you.

He asks you, quietly, if you'll COME IN QUIETLY.

Last chance.

>>48499
Stab him. Quietly.

>>48499
Come out swinging.

>>48499
Prepare to defend yourself.

File: Dirk_Strider2test.png (22KB, 579x475px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48509
>>48510
You unsheathe BOTH of you STANDARD-ISSUE KNIVES. And LUNGE.

You are KICKED BACKWARDS.

The DUDE says that's it. He GIVES UP.

You're a failure. He's a failure. He thought you could CHANGE. He thought you could DO GOOD. All you can do is DESTROY. It's what you do.

NINJAS appear by his side, their EYES matching the HORIZON.

But you know what? That's okay. He can DESTROY too.

(cont.)

File: 241281712.png (77KB, 888x449px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48538
He unveils a SILVER HILT, from which emerges a BEAM OF LIGHT.

I wanted to play a GAME with you JACK.

But the GAME'S OVER.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivhqJrcl-V8

The floating text informs you that you face DIRK STRIDER.

Your phone receives a message. It is a COUNTDOWN CLOCK, reading 3:14.

PRIMARY GOAL changed to: SURVIVE

TO BE CONTINUED

>>47305
lel, is that the guy jack stabbed in the bar?

>>48584
DEEPEST

>>48584
sweet catch

File: 214719281234.png (18KB, 1268x529px) Image search: [Google]

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See you guys in the NEXT THREAD, for the THRILLING CONCLUSION!

>>48592
Looking forward to it. Goodnight.

>>48592
this means not tonight, sorry, sleeping

>>48592
peace out Jacky

Also, if you ever see this, I want to ask-

Are you mad those players didn't want to do puzzle shit back when we had to deal with the red and blue robots? Maybe just disappointed?

I ask because we have been lacking in the puzzle styled stuff that you had going on in the cell and with those robots.

>>48694
Not at all. They were designed as literal puzzles because of Dirk testing Jack, and as soon as he was past the robots the "puzzle" just became what he would do on the outside.

You guys are the opposite of disappointing.

>>48708
That`s a relief.

Have a good night!

Also huh, really I wonder what Dirk was expecting from a dude who nearly carved out his own arm to escape from jail (where he probably was because of all the murdering).

>>48708
what was the answer to that puzzle anyway?
the fact that both robots seemed to do the same thing made me wonder, i was assuming you needed to get the blue robot to punch the door down

File: 81lgJBqK3tL._SL1500_.jpg (149KB, 1500x1154px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48739
I assumed the intended answer was to get them to punch each other's heads or something.