WE WUZ QUEST 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

(STATS -
HEALTH: 25/30
PRIDE: 10/10
INTELLIGENCE: 1/10
SKIN COLOR: BLACK
PENIS SIZE: 9"
)
(INVENTORY -
CHICKEN LEG x1
POCKET BIBLE x1
ELECTRIC BOOGALOO x1 (?)
)

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>44590
Go fug some whit womyn to prove that BBC is superior

Write a rap song about how great the Nazis were.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>44639
Forgot to roll

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>>44619
You stand up and imagine what you believe to be a beautiful WHITE WOMAN (pic related) and look at your door handle, wanting to exit your government subsidized home. Sadly, you're not intelligent enough to open the door handle and aren't lucky enough[LUCK: 6 NEEDED] for it to open itself.

// LUCK explained: X/10 on rolls, X = LUCK

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>>44639
You find a pencil and paper laying on your GOVERNMENT SUBSIDIZED TABLE and begin writing poetry. (pic related)

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>44668
Try again to gibs the white womyn the BBC

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>44716
Ascend to a higher plain of existence by realizing our one true savior is Ron Paul.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>44716
Grind to Intelligence points

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>>44767
You look at the door and grunt very loudly, and it happens to open. You smile and lick your lips voraciously. You step outside and see hundreds of people walking down the street of downtown CHICAGO. You remember that you live in a CARDBOARD BOX in an alleyway, and the DOOR was just a PIECE OF CARDBOARD.
>>44800
You grunt, scratch your balls, and lick your lips some more. You have a fleeting memory of a glorious white king from your hallucination.

What do?

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>44830
Geds to the library of kangz, the public library, and learn some shiz

>>44829
You try to read a book, but you have no literature anywhere near yourself and also have not acquired (LITERACY) yet.

//(ABILITIES -
SPAWN STOLEN 9MM PISTOL
CHIMP OUT [ on cooldown: 7 turns ]
)

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>44868
Use Stolen 9mm Pistol to rob a store

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>>44845
You're still not literate, nor do you have literature near you.

You instead begin scavenging in a garbage can when you are approached by DAVID CAMERON, and he offers you $50 if you urinate in your own mouth.

//first 7-10 roll decides y/n

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>44910
Yee

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>44910
Say hell no nigger and punch david in the groin

File: CUCKAMERONSTEIN.jpg (881KB, 1217x899px) Image search: [Google]

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>>44964
You whip out your BBC that you are so incredibly proud of, and DAVID CAMERON suddenly evolves! He turns into KEKAMERONSTEIN, and stares at your penis as you urinate in your own mouth. As you finished, he salivates.

"G-good g-g-goy.... how about you come with me? Here is your $50..." (+$50)! "There is much more money in store for you if you f-follow me, goyim... oy vey..."

What do?

>>45007
//too late

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>44910
Yee. Lids biss. Maybez it tayste good

>>45048
CU.CKAMERONSTEIN turns into CUKAMERONSTEIN

//because of the fucking filters

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>45048
Follow da joo. Maybez he iz leadin uz to dem white womyn on BBC porn

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Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>45048
With the aid of your new found British comrade, formulate a plan to fuck Japanese King Arthur.

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>>45065
You follow CUKAMERONSTEIN, and as you pass by WHITE WOMEN your penis gets hard, and some of them notice through your rags. They gag and a few vomit, most likely because they know they'd be gagging on it.

CUKAMERONSTEIN is suddenly tackled by an FBI AGENT. "muh PANAMA PAPERS!!" The FBI AGENT screams!

(ENTERING COMBAT)

YOU SUDDENLY UNLOCKED (GRAPHICAL INTERFACE)

What do?

>>45182
use the electric boogaloo

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>45182
Wave your dick at the FBI officers while shouting "Wololo!" in an attempt to convert them to BBC worshipers.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>45182
Make the officers love the BBC and show itz glory and mage dem sug.

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>>45224
You stare at the Electric Boogaloo, and can't figure out what it does. You grunt a few times.

FBI AGENT punches you. -2 health.

FBI AGENT punches you. -2 health.

CUKAMERONSTEIN cries, "OY VEY"

>>45246
You uncover your mighty nine-incher, and wave it at the FBI AGENTS.

FBI AGENT HYPNOTIZED (2 turns)

FBI AGENT HYPNOTIZED (2 turns)

CUKAMERONSTEIN continues to cry. "IT'S ANNUDAH SHOAH!"

>>45294
You attempt to hypnotize the officers again. FAILED.

FBI AGENT HYPNOTIZED (1 turn)

FBI AGENT HYPNOTIZED (1 turn)

CUKAMERONSTEIN STILL BEING A BITCH.

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>45379
Punch both agents in the jaw while they're still hypnotized.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>45379
Call chimp brothers and chimp out on Officers

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>45493
Mage dem permanent slaves of the BBC.

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>>45400
" FUK DA POH-LEESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
You strike out at both FBI AGENTS while they're hypnotized by dat BBC, and knock their skulls together. Both take 9 damage.

FBI AGENT (-9 HEALTH, UNCONSCIOUS)

FBI AGENT (-9 HEALTH, UNCONSCIOUS)

CUKAMERONSTEIN has CHILLED THE FUCK OUT

"G-good j-j-job, goyim..", CUKAMERONSTEIN rubs his hands together, "n-now enslave them using jigaboo BBC magic...."

What do, nigga?

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>45518
Sacrifice chicken leg to Black Jesus in exchange for making the FBI agents enslaved cu.cks.

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>45518
Mage dem permanent sex slaves to the BBBC

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>>45544
You take a bite of your chicken leg and do a rain dance. Nothing really happens, but you heal 2 points of health.
>>45547
You begin rubbing your BBC and shower the FBI AGENTS in JUNGLE BUNNY JUICE, enslaving them. However, FBI AGENT 1 drowns in it before being useful. You now have 1 SLAVE.

What do?

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>45634
Get sum white womyn to fug

>>45634
Attempt to determine at where the white women be.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>45656

//Ahh sheeit, sorry guys, but I've got to go. I'll be back tomorrow with more creativity if anyone is here then.

>>45699
daimn Nigga, will be waiting then

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>45965
We wait

Rolled 5 (1d10)

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT

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Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>45634

Grow big and nice afro hair, and watches 70-80 kung fu movies.