WE WUZ QUEST

I go to another board.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>37306
Destroy the straight white able-bodied cisgender patriarchical system of oppression.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>37306
Post about how we wuz kanz but then dem witties took away our power n sheit.

Hope to convince /pol/tards into turning Black supremacists.

Chimp out.

>>37352
support

Explode

>>37335
You attempt to destroy DUH HWITEY OLD BANKERS N' SHEEIT but just stare blankly at the screen.
>>37340
You reply to a current events thread with, "Fucking Capitalist scum, Bernie 2016"
You failed at pulling the race card.
>>37323
//Didn't roll
You punch the computer screen and break it entirely.

>>37352
//Didn't roll
You scratch your head, find a bug, and eat it. >>37366
//Didn't roll
You fart loudly

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>37306
Go to my respectable job to provide for my wife and children.

>>37392
You stand up, walk into your living room, and see your work boots. You start shaking uncontrollably and begin having a panic-induced seizure. You pass out.

You wake up in a completely dark room.
//roll for next action
//0-4 rolls = something opposite of what you suggest
//5-10 varying levels of success depending on what you suggest

Dice+1d10

Attempt to chimp out

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>37418
Try to find a light switch to turn the lights on.

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>37418
CHIMP OUT, DARKNESS IS BEAUTIFUL NOT SCARY YOU RACIST QM, IMPLYING I SHOULD BE SCARED BY THIS DARKNESS, WHAT WRONG WIT U

>>37432
Fuck I'm an idiot, reroll

dice+1d10

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>37418
Take a piss on the floor.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>37418
Learn to embrace the darkness. Move through the night invisibly and steal your neighbors television.

>>37432
//Didn't roll properly
You stand up and yell, "OogaBooga!"
>>37445
You fumble about and try to feel for the lights. You find a very soft and straight wig instead.
(INVENTORY:
WIG
CHICKEN LEG)

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>37418
Cast a light spell

File: 00120065-0000-0000-0000-000000000000_469b5687-f4ab-4992-a2ac-46c322b7a161_20130228175146_ChickenSelects_022813_RM_300.jpg (32KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 300x300px

>>37449
(pic related)
You start jumping and hit your head. You figure eating the chicken you had was better than chimping out again.
(-1 chicken)
>>37461
You urinate a very pungent substance.
>>37466
You can't locate the door or see anything yet, but happen to find a television and stick it in your magical pants.
//THESE AREN'T MY PANTS, OFFICER.
(+1 TV)
>>37474
You close your hand and shake it like in that whitey video game, Skyrimjob, but no light comes out.

Rolled 5, 5 = 10 (2d6)

Daisu

>>37460
God fucking dammit how fucking retarded am i?

Reroll for chimp out

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>37547
E-mail field, you fucking idiot.
Hell, I'll do it for you.

Chimp out.

File: 1460279341753.jpg (9KB, 238x192px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 238x192px

//There is a goal to this Quest. It is an action that automatically will finish the quest.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>37557
Kill yourself

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>37524
Use your night-vision goggles.

>>37556
You finish eating the chicken in the dark, and attempt to chimp out. However, you quickly realize you can instead masturbate and begin to do so while mumbling "muh bbc genetics"

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>37557
Become kangz and shiet

>>37566
You bite your arm, but realize it does not taste like chicken, and you stop.
>>37569
You realize you have nigger vision and can see in the dark. You can now see a door handle.

>>37582
You take a deep breath and then scream,
"
WE
WUZ
KANGZ
"

It has no effect on the empty room, but you feel better about your skin color.
(+1 pride)

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>37593
attempt to grab handle

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>37593
Open the door

>>37306
Tell whitey that he be evil for being colonialists and shit and that I'm superior because I come from Moorish blood and the moors were kangz, and queenz, and colonialists and shit.

File: 1458158309147.png (110KB, 461x533px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 461x533px

>>37617
>>37620
You open the door, and you find yourself blinded by light, so you toggle off your nigger vision. You see AIDS Skrillex standing a few feet from you, and you notice you are in a field in the middle of white boy country.
>>37625
//didn't roll
You mumble to yourself about your large penis

>>37306
What are my current stats?

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>37650
Introduce ourselves to him as Alberto Barbosa

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>37650
Realize you are Tyrese the Urban Zulu.

>>37664
(
HEALTH: 20/25
PRIDE: 11/10
DICK SIZE: 9"
SKIN COLOR: BLACK
)
>>37665
You get AIDS Skrillex' attention, and fail at introducing yourself. You instead simply grunt and manage to say, "whitey oppresses me".

AIDS Skrillex looks elated and says, "Hello there, oppressed person! I've been waiting for you! Come with me and we can fight some FUCKING WHITE MALES, what do you say?"

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>37709
Fight whiteys along him

>>37709
//Is there any Trump rally going on nearby?

File: Shaka-Zulu.png (689KB, 620x410px) Image search: [Google]

689KB, 620x410px

>>37690
You recollect (or imagine) your forefathers being Zulu warriors.
>>37728
"Yes, me follow you, kill whitey."
"Great!", AIDS Skrillex replies, "Follow me, there is a KKK meet over here!"

You follow AIDS Skrillex and find yourself surrounded by eight KKK members in full attire.
(YOU ENTER COMBAT)
>>37753
//About 2 miles away. You can fast travel outside of combat.

>>37766
ATTACK FOR YOUR RACE
BE A KANG AND SHIET

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>37766
Smash the first klansman's head in with your 9 incher

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>37766
Bash the head of those whiteys

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>37773
forgot to roll

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>37766
Chimp out on them

We wuz kingz?

>>37777
>>37779
>>37791

No. We IS Kingz!

Rolled 10 (1d10)

Realize that being black itself is a sin and bow to your white overlords.

Kill whitey

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>37821
Fuck

>>37306
But I was already a black male in the united states in October of 2015

And today I sat at my computer and opened up /pol/

i guess i've already coimpleted this game

>>37777
You smack a whitey with your dick and knock him out cold. AIDS Skrillex stands back and screams "FUCKING WHITE MALE" repeatedly.
(ENEMIES PRIDE: -5)
>>37779
>>37791
You luck out massively and go into a true fit of primal monkey rage. You black out from anger, and come to your senses with only one whitey remaining, with fear in his eyes. Meanwhile, AIDS Skrillex is nowhere to be found.
>>37816
You have a moment of true enlightenment, and realize you are nothing but a chimp. You bow down to the remaining white man, who runs away in fear and confusion. You quickly forget what you had just learned and start beating your hands on your chest.
(LEVEL UP)
//First roll of 8-10 chooses new ability

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>37816
After that, hang yourself to please the KKK

>>37857
Voodoo Magic

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>37857
Bone hammer

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>37896
>>37857
fug forgot to roll

>>37864
You see a tree nearby and grunt at it.
(TREE'S PRIDE: -1)
>>37896
//didn't roll

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>37857
Third arm

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>37857
//zulu rage-attacks 8-10 will now be strengthened to a regular 10

>>37306
Go back were i belong

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>37857
Stolen 9mm

>>37904
You fail to learn BONE HAMMER.
>>37921
You rub your penis, but it fails to become a THIRD ARM.
>>37940
You fail to make your RAGE ATTACKS any more powerful.
>>37945
//didn't roll

>>37952
You find a 9mm pistol in your waistband and remember you stole it yesterday.
(LEVEL UP COMPLETE)
(INVENTORY:
9mm PISTOL
WIG
)
(STATS:
HEALTH: 25/30
PRIDE: 10/15
DICK SIZE: 9"
SKIN COLOR: BLACK
)

File: tegaki.png (26KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 400x400px

>>37954
roll

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>37991
put wig on

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>37991
Smack lips profusely

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>37991
Rob a local 7/Eleven

>>38010
You attempt to put the wig on, but drop it and can't figure out how to pick it up.
(-1 wig)
>>38012
You lick your lips once to wet them.
>>38027
You don't know what a 7/11 is, but remember that Trump called 9/11 that once. Then you realize there is a TRUMP RALLY nearby.
//Go to TRUMP RALLY?

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>38062
y

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>38062
Attend the Trump rally to serve the master race.

>>38071
You use your great black running legs to sprint to the TRUMP RALLY. You find yourself in a small group of pro-Bernie PROTESTORS.
//20 PROTESTORS present
//2,500 TRUMP SUPPORTERS present

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>38091
Attack protesters with 9mm pistol

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>38091
Murder both the Trump and Bernie supporters w/ your 9mm. Realize you prefer Hillary.

>>38110
You scratch your ass a little bit.

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>38091
Enter the Trump rally peacefully

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>38091
go with the trump supporters you nignog

>>38120
You pick your nose and eat it, then you lick your lips.
>>38132
>>38133
You enter the TRUMP RALLY and notice the whites noses' flare as they get a whiff of your stench. You see DONALD TRUMP approach the podium and notice a very strange lacking of security.

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>38162
Murder Trump.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>38162
Shoot Trump in the head

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>38162
Worship Trump from afar, wishing you could touch him.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>37306
Start a BLM Movement

File: 1458964280442.jpg (21KB, 480x465px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 480x465px

>>38171
You're about 80 yards from Trump, and your feeble nig brain thinks it can hit a target accurately from this distance with a pistol. You whip is out and begin firing it sideways at DONALD TRUMP, missing several times.
>>38175
You happen to luck out, however, and clip him in the face. It's not fatal, but he's bleeding profusely and falls over.
>>38179
You realize what a mistake you just made and get on your knees and beg for forgiveness. A white old man kicks you in the head and knocks you out cold.

You awaken tied to a chair, naked, in a small room. You see the old man standing in front of you, and can see nothing else due to the darkness.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>38212
Activate nigger vision

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>38212
Tell the elderly member of God's favorite race that you are sorry and will do anything for forgiveness

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>38212
It was just a prank bro!

>>38230
You blink a few times and grunt. Your nigger vision isn't working, most likely due to recent head trauma.
>>38235
You begin blathering, "b-but mistah, I swears me is sorry! I'm just a lowly nigguh, me's don't knows no bettah!"
The OLD MAN just stands there, silently.
>>38237
"BRO, IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO, JUST A PRANK"
OLD MAN is unaffected

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>38245
Start screaming the Nazi oath to try to win him over

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>38245
Slap old man in da faze.

>>38258
“I vow to you,Adolf Hitler, asFührerandchancellorof theGerman Reich, loyalty and bravery. I vow to you and to the leaders that you set for me, absolute allegiance until death. So help me God.”

The OLD MAN stands, unaffected still.
>>38264
You attempt to smack a cracker upside the head, but your hands are loosely bound behind you in the chair.

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>38276
Teleport behind him.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>38276
Try to slip your hands out of the loose bindings

>>38284
"INSTANT TRANSMISSION!", you yell, but realize you're not Japanese and don't have the abilities of anime characters.
>>38290
You manage to slip your hands free, even given your terrible roll. You stand up and look at the OLD MAN, who still hasn't moved.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>38276
Ask OLD MAN what he wants

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>38311
Slap dat asshat.

>>38314
"What a fuckin' cracka want from a nigga, mayne? Just a fuckin prank, namsayin'?"
OLD MAN remains motionless.

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>38325
Attack OLD MAN

>>38324
You slap the OLD MAN, and the cardboard falls over. Your nig mind can't process what just happened, and suddenly lights come on and you see you are in an indoor arena. There are white men and women all around you in a circular balcony. There is a laptop thrown into the arena.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

Go to KFC and get some chicken nigga

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>38357
Pick up the laptop.

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>38357
Worship the white folk around you, them cm it suicide for their pleasure

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>38357
Look for gun and if available, shoot. If nah, attack them whiteys with yo fists.

File: Uncle_Ruckus.png (104KB, 231x413px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 231x413px

>>38367
You attempt to pick up the laptop, but the very idea of doing any kind of work frightens you.
>>38368
You bow down to begin praising the white folk and feel yourself transforming.

>>38370
You no longer have your gun, and since the time of your transformation, you no longer feel capable of harming the glorious white man.

>>38385
Does our new form impart any new abilities?

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>38402
Become a white man

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>38402
try to fight the transformation

>>38413
(ABILITIES:
HONORARY WHITEY
DAMAGE TO BLACKS: +200000000
PRIDE IS ALWAYS 0
)
>>38419
You're a nigger whether you like it or not.
>>38441
You attempt to remember that WE.. WUZ..., but you end up screaming,

"
WE
WUZ
MONKEYZ
"

The white people clap. The laptop screen glows as it lays there. You notice /pol/ is open on it.

>>38456
go to poll
look at a "WE" thread

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>38456
Complete your transformation

>>38456
Smash the laptop and beat our chest.

WE
WUZ
GORILLAZ

We must go on /pol/ brothers

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>38456
Post a nigger self hate thread

File: Ron_Paul,_official_Congressional_photo_portrait,_2007.jpg (978KB, 1189x1491px) Image search: [Google]

978KB, 1189x1491px

>>38469
>>38473
You pick up the laptop. You find a "WE WUZ KANGZ" thread.

You type out your response,
"We will use the tools that God gave us to fight the nigger: The whip, the noose, the nightstick, the branding iron. These things strike fear into the heart of the nigger. The job application."

You see a bright light, and the environment disappears. You find yourself in a beautiful meadow, and Michael Jackson stands in a white robe. "Uncle Ruckus", he says, "You have made it. You are worthy."

You look at your hand and realize it is white. Your arms, legs, everything white. A mirror appears before you, and you see (PIC RELATED).

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>38513
Turn into a black man again.
Remember that you were kings once.

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>38513
Whisper "Taxation is theft" as your surroundings slowly fade away, and die of a heart attack due to all the fried products you ate while you were a nigger.

You awaken.

You are in your living room. You see your work boots and feel fried chicken in your INVENTORY. You realize that everything was just a dream caused by the seizure from thinking about working. You realize that this is the white man's fault for wanting you to work instead of collecting welfare.

You scream and beat your chest as loudly as you can,

W E
W U Z
K A N G Z
'n' sheeit
The END.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>38513
Conjure a happening.

File: tegaki.png (12KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 400x400px

>>38513
roll

join an Australian thread on /pol/ read out loud what every post is about

>>38558
/claps all around

>>38572
>the walls clap
>the floor claps
>Jesus claps

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>38587
Ron Paul claps

Thanks for participating everyone. I'll probably do another tomorrow that continues where this left off.

File: tegaki.png (6KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 400x400px

>>37841
lol whitey thinks /pol/ bothers us but we make most of the white supremacist bantz

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>41759
Attack kang

>>42532
The game is over you everliving meme

//NEW THREAD
>>44521

File: aboutpol2.png (78KB, 1306x354px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 1306x354px

>tfw even ponyfuckers manage to not fucking leak out of their containment board