Pitchfork - the Quest from Hell #7

>Try to find the imp before it turns in the report. If you're too late, immediately clock out and make preparations to kill your boss and take her place. That's how promotions work in hell right?
You take a deep breath and leave the COFFEE on the deposit tray. You'll be in some super deep shit if that IMP you trusted with your REPORT FORM reaches the HEAD OF DEPARTMENT. Madienhead isn't particularly fond of people who break protocol. The coffee is a secondary priority to not being demoted to stress ball rank.
You run back down the corridor, once again making sure not to bump into any of your colleagues - a mighty task considering how busy the office is today. You take two turns to the right and pass several other corridors on your way to the office of the HEAD OF DEPARTMENT. Your heart is doing extensive gymnastics in your chest due to a combination of running, a sedentary lifestyle and mild panic. If you don't find the imp in time, you're done for...!
Finally, after minutes of sprinting across offices and corridors, you turn a corner and notice the back of the IMP scampering towards the head of department's room, carrying your REPORT FORM! With a tiger-like lunge you jump forward and crash into the little fucker, sending it reeling to the ground. You immediately pounce on it, snatching the REPORT out of its paws and sending the both of you sliding on the carpet. You turn your little fists against the imp, banging on its skull with all of your (admittedly pathetic) strength. You hate imps SO GODDAMN MUCH.
"Give... that... back, you little... stain of shit! You skull-headed good-for-nothing rat! May the unclean birds pick your corpse clean! Phecum hugodat! Ackarode faſot! Y-you...!"
In the midst of your fervent swearing in the old demonic tongue, you almost don't notice one of your COWORKERS standing above you.

>What do you do?

>Think up a lie, QUICK.

File: morathox.png (2MB, 1500x1197px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1500x1197px

>>1638633
>Think up a lie, QUICK
Your impressive cussing chain is cut short as if you just swallowed your own tongue as your eyes meet the sorrowful gaze of LEGIONNAIRE MORATHOX.
Internally, you utter a quick thanks to Lucifer. The security gargoyle is one of the few coworkers you have who treats you as his equal. Still, he's pretty straightlaced for a demon, and he might be curious as to why he just caught you beating the crap out of an imp on the corridor while cursing your heart out. Also, he might not like the real reason and you really don't want him to chide you right now, even if he would be right.
"Oh, Morathox! Hi! I, er, haven't seen you today yet."
"Hello, Acerparva." Morathox sighs somberly. His default mood is "slightly melodramatic but amiable", which is a step up from most of your coworkers if you ask yourself. "What did this poor imp do to you to earn such harsh treatment?"
"Oh! The imp! Don't worry, it had it coming. See, I was on my way to submit this form to Maidenhead, and suddenly this little pest skitters up to me and snatches it out of my hand!" - The imp frantically shakes its skull beneath you. You make it stop by discreetly stepping on its forehead. - "You know how imps are, and I had a stressful day, so I flew a little bit off the handle."
Morathox muses on this for a short few seconds.
"I see" - he speaks finally, fixing his piercing blue eyes on you. - "You seem tense in your entirety, now that I look at you. If you want to talk to me about your woes, I'm all ears. I figure it would relieve you."

>>1638633
>Think up a lie, QUICK
Your impressive cussing chain is cut short as if you just swallowed your own tongue as your eyes meet the sorrowful gaze of LEGIONNAIRE MORATHOX.
Internally, you utter a quick thanks to Lucifer. The security gargoyle is one of the few coworkers you have who treats you as his equal. Still, he's pretty straightlaced for a demon, and he might be curious as to why he just caught you beating the crap out of an imp on the corridor while cursing your heart out. Also, he might not like the real reason and you really don't want him to chide you right now, even if he would be right.
"Oh, Morathox! Hi! I, er, haven't seen you today yet."
"Hello, Acerparva." Morathox sighs somberly. His default mood is "slightly melodramatic but amiable", which is a step up from most of your coworkers if you ask yourself. "What did this poor imp do to you to earn such harsh treatment?"
"Oh! The imp! Don't worry, it had it coming. See, I was on my way to submit this form to Maidenhead, and suddenly this little pest skitters up to me and snatches it out of my hand!" - The imp frantically shakes its skull beneath you. You make it stop by discreetly stomping on its face. - "You know how imps are, and I had a stressful day, so I flew a little bit off the handle."
Morathox muses on this for a short few seconds.
"I see" - he speaks finally, fixing his piercing blue eyes on you. He ate it up...!
He doesn't stop, however. "You seem tense in your entirety, now that I look at you. If you want to talk to me about your woes, I'm all ears. I figure it would relieve you."

((Second is the "correct" version, but Morathox is on the first post due to duplicates.))

>>1638782
>Thank him and go take it to it's destination yourself, just try not to be seen by a higher up.

>>1640592
>Thank him and excuse yourself
Morathox really is a reliable friend but you don't need his sympathy right now. You have to hurry and bring the form to your BOSS. Additionally, he's a bit too reliable at times and his sessions of HELPFUL ADVICE can sometimes last an hour. You don't need romantic tips from the gargoyle right now.
Therefore, you politely lie to your friend.
"Don't worry about it. I'm just a little tired from all the surplus work I've been doing lately, you know? It's alright."
"As you wish." His face belies a slight suspicioon. He isn't stupid, just trustful.
"Anyway, I gotta skedaddle right now. Maidenhead will have my horns if I don't get this form to her on time." - You look for the IMP to kick it once more time for emphasis, but you find that it has already escaped and disappeared into the cavalcade of the sales department.
"Then I shall see you later." - Morathox sighs, then turns around and teeters down the corridor in his awkward terrestrial gait. On the end of the corridor lies the MAIN HALL of the DISTRICT OF DIS DEPARTMENT OF SISIRRISI & SISIRRISI AVARICE TRUST. Morathox spreads his leathery wings and launches into the air with a single swoop, disappearing into the airspace of the cavernous hall.
You feel kind of bad for lying to your friend, but you really don't need him up in your business at the moment, and it got him out of your hair. Had you had hair, of course.