Going to burgerland as a tourist.

fuck you poo

yes you shall visit the loo, be sure to fold the toilet paper, don't scrunch, wipe away from balls and put the toilet paper in the toilet and flush. Make sure you wash your hands once you're done!

>>138955941
oh and use hot water with soap! Congratulations, you're in a first world country!

Man every were is pretty much the same. Just choose any big city. Go doen the california coast i geuss to olaces like monterey ,big sur, etc.


This place is fucked

>>138955806
don't wear a turban, the rednecks will think you are a muslim.

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>>138955806
>I will stay there for nearly a month, mostly in Chicago as my brother is working in the consulate.
>Can any American anons, tell me what all places to is it and give me tips.

Dude, you can make a killing in America! Set up a business of getting cute Indian girls to America for dating with rich American men. Rich American men love cute Indian girls - I mean all the young q.t. Indians speak broken Brit-Indian English, which is perfect for American men.

Don't call it "make order bride" or "Indian hookups", call it "Brown Sugar Daddy" or something. Essentially, you end up getting a million q.t. Indian girls to America, setting them up as girlfriends of middle class and rich Americans and after they got their greencard, they are free to find Pajiets on H1Bs for the long marriage road.

This is gold man, gold!

The way niggers act will be shocking no amount of reading stories can prepare you. Good luck though I usually like Indian people I think most white people do as long as you don't smell like spices

>>138955806
You better not have that target on your head while in Chicago.

>>138955806
>>>/int/

>>138955806
>avoid the west and south side of chicago
>avoid any train line that isnt blue or brown line
>avoid any street that has a number for a name

Im too tired to think of other shit but that should do you well

>>138955806
If you start seeing more black people than any other group, just go the other way. Outside of that just have fun and don't leave your stuff unattended.

The United States isn't small like you'd think, NY and CA aren't just a day's drive.

>>138955806
stay north of Chicago
Evanston or something

>>138955806
Youre actually safer pooing in a field than in a bathroom in chicago. Dont poo in the loo bro.

>>138955806
Stay away from black people. Stay away from hispanics as well. Just stay near white people and you'll be fine.

>>138956631
This, don't go south of downtown Chicago, it's nigger central. Especially after dark, it's seriously dangerous.
I can't speak for the other cities but I used to live in Chicago.

>>138956612
Foreigners really don't appreciate just how massive the country is or their geography of it just isnt that good.

>>138955806
Never take the brown train. I'll never forget getting off the last stop on that train and just being engulfed in a sea of black people

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dont fucking eat deep dish pizza its shit, dont know how or why it got popular.
get these things: italian beef, drag it thru the garden and dunk it
and a jumbo char polish sausage with everything on it( poppy seed bun, jalapeno peppers, and a pickle spear)

chicago is tight as fuck, just stay in the rich white neighborhoods

>>138955806
First off see lake Michigan its amazing, second go in knowing chicago is a shithole with rude niggers , that isn't the US as a whole. Take road trips, check out Madison Wisconsin check out Michigan, go see the gulf coast in the south, check out Colorado and the northwest check out Texas, check out thr native american statue they are caring into a mountain in south dakota and you can go see the coastal cities like Boston new York and San Diego if you want. Just know that each section of the US will have different people and will feel different, I wish you weren't mostly staying in the worst Midwestern state but the other states around you have truly genuine people.

>>138955806

some Americans are loud and crazy, they are also kind and honest. Ask before you bring up any topic. Some are very private about family, money and personal habits. As a tourist, nuance is somewhat regional. People in New York are not like people in California. Ask about customs and food, ask about slang terms, feel free to go to a gun range if you think you'll have fun there. America as a whole is a beautiful place, have fun while you are here.

>open vagene
>open clot
>open bob

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>>138955806
>mostly in Chicago
God help you!

>>138955806
Also know new York and Cali are basically different countries culturally. Oh and avoid LA in Cali, San Fran San Diego and Yosemite are pretty cool though.

Don't poo on the streets.we have toilets for that.

>>138955806
>Visiting New York, California, and Chicago.

You have literally picked all the worst places in the US to go. This would be like me visiting your country and staying in Utter Pradesh. Are you trying to get shot and/or stabbed?

I recommend Texas for history and culture, also shopping. My favorite city is actually St. Louis, which has one of the largest zoos and botanical gardens in the country. The riverfront there is also pretty cool.

Georgia and Tennessee are also good.

Just don't step foot in California at all. It's basically Northern Mexico now, not America.

poo

Dont go. It is extremely dangerous. When I visit, there were black and white homeless drug addict everywhere harassing people on the subway which smelled bad. I rarely felt safe.

>>138955806
California has nice weather but it sucks balls. Go to the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone, which are both cool. Instead of going to New York, go to Maine, Massachussetts, and New Hampshire. Or you could go to upstate New York. Maine is prettier than California any day.

And another word of advice--shut up about America being "burgerland." Our cuisine is much more varied than that.

>>138957150
They call it Chiraq for a reason.

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>>138955806
stay out of Chiraq son, find /cpd/ and learn the dangers

>>138956241
This but the funny thing is it won't be just based rednecks MOST people will think he is Muslim

>>138957242
Lol where were you?

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>>138956612

Don't mind the trolls. If you get an early start from New York, you can be in LA before midnight.
Same for getting back to Chicago after you've spent a few days of fun in the California sun.

>>138955806
Chicago? stay safe anon. See the museums and the shed aquarium.

>>138957406
There are a lot of Indians in redneckland. We are pretty familiar with them down here. Most people won't take him for a Mudslime.

>>138955806
I've spent quite a few holidays in Chicago, try the deep dish pizza stay away from kfc and nigger

>>138955806
Mexican food!
but go to Texas to try it

>>138955806
Get some Korean BBQ in LA.

Hollywood has homeless people everywhere.

Dont make eye contact.

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>>138955806

>California

Please do us a favor and don't fucking come here. We have enough of you street shitters taking over our gyms and you all some like vomit and diarrhea

Also, why do you fucks always travel in unnecessary large groups like 8 - 12 people just going to a shoe store or buying groceries

I thought beaners were bad but you fucks take it to a whole new level

I'm going to visit the US too. Which places should I avoid if I don't want to see niggers and people like OP?

>>138956210
Big Sur is shut at the moment

>>138957530
Is that true?

>>138955806
Avoid niggers and you will be fine

>>138955806
>Can any American anons, tell me what all places to is it and give me tips.

Yeah sure, don't go to Chicago, New York, or California.

>>138958198
Look at our most recent election map and avoid any states that are blue, for starters.

>>138957530
Breaker Breaker, so is that some good meth you smoking, on those on them NY2LA "easy fast" road trips good buddy 10-4?

Yeah I personally get across the whole continent in like... 20 hours myself. I got to piss in a bottle and shit with my ass hanging out the window, hoping to hit the insomnia demons when I do, so they don't steal my think bones out my kooky box. If I didn't do that, why it'd take more than a day or three to get across the entire continent by vehicle.

>>138955806
if you get a chance, some down to the Gulf Coast. Alabama, Florida, Mississippi. Fishing is hot right now, no yankee snowbirds and super hot, so girls are wearing practically nothing. Just avoid niggers, they are the worst

>>138958275
No. He's jacking around. You would get pulled over multiple times just trying that shit.

>>138958465
kek

>>138958275

No it's not true. Coast to coast is like 2000 miles straight across. You'd most definitely get stopped if you were averaging fast enough to do that in less than 24 hours straight.

>>138958492
>avoid niggers
>in the South
???

>>138955806
If you're coming in November visit two places that are too hot in Summer but PERFECT in November.

Las Vegas, Nevada
Phoenix, Arizona

>>138956441
This. Or >>>/trv/ newfags don't seem to realise other boards exist.

San Diego is a nice town to visit in California. If you go up to the Bay Area, I would recommend the wine country: Sonoma and Napa.

>>138955806
Go to Las Vegas and go to casinos and you can shoot machine guns are rental gun ranges with instructors. Also lots of poos were at the bar at the Trump Hotel when I stayed there.

>>138958520
>>138958646
So you'd end up somewhere around Missouri or Kansas at best, right? Jesus, the size of your country is fucking obscene.

>>138958198
Wyoming, German brother. Jackson hole and yellowstone are the white's man's homeland. It is breathtaking. Our cities are disgusting, just explore our wilderness. It is truly unique.

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>>138955806
>Chicago
good luck anon

>>138958694
That's why I said Gulf Coast, Muhammad. Most niggers avoid the beach and water

>>138955806

As the consulate is technically India, while on consulate grounds feel free to shit outside in public like the feral creature you are

>>138955806

>visiting the three shitiest places in America
>go home and talk shit about America
>feel super smug

>>138955806
>Visiting Chiraq
Dont get shot pajeet and avoid bad looking areas.
>But I also plan to visit New York and California.
Those places are expensive depending on where you're going. But you are aware california and new york are far away from each other right?

>>138955806
Visit the statues while you can.

>>138955806
Most of chicago is great, I imagine your brother will stay mostly in the Loop area. Must-sees are The museums, Millenium Park, and Lincoln Park. Avoid going west of Cicero and south of 35th, that's when it starts to turn dicey. Have a great trip

>>138958893
It's not a straight shot. You can go about 80mph on most of the interstates, but small town traps are a real thing. Also, the police tend to get more active toward the end of the month in order to meet revenue quotas, so you'll get busted over and over again for speeding.

It takes more than a day to get from Atlanta to Dallas unless you decide to skip sleeping.

>>138958904

>yellowstone
>population: 95% asian

>>138958198

Montana: Glacier National Park, The east side especially.

Wyoming: The grand Tetons. Anything requiring walking up hill.

Most of the west is pretty boss if you're willing to drive outside of tourist city.

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>>138955806
Listen to >>138955941

Also be sure to dry your hands in a sanitary manner.
If you see a strange machine on the wall with a button and steel vent protruding from the bottom. That's a dryer.
Push that button and boom dry hands in 10 seconds.

And if you'reusing paper towels then always pull the lever to have them ready to go BEFORE you poo.
That way you can tear it off and not have to touch the lever after you've washed your hands.
Dry your hands and use the paper towel to shut off the water so you're not getting germs on your hands after you wash them.
That's the proper order of washing your hands after you poo in the good ol' U S of A.

Other factors to consider are what we call the courtesy flush.
If you're in a crowded bathroom then immediately after you poo. If you notice it smells rank (if it smell at all then it falls under this category) Then flush immediately soyour fellow pooers don't have to smell it.

A note on bathroom code.
Never speak to anyone in a bathroom under any circumstance outside of an emergency.
Heart attack, slip and fall etc.
If you're at the urinal line always and I mean ALWAYS have your eyes and head forward.
If there's a door shut on a stall or one person bathroom always knock before opening. Wait 3-4 seconds for a response. Then enter.
Following these simple guidelines you will have a much more pleasant experience whilst pooing in our loos.

>tell me what all places to is it and give me tips.
Avoid Negros in Chicago at all costs. If they're approaching you and talking to you....they're trying to size you up to try and figure out how to hustle you in some way. Rip you off, rob you etc. The same goes for Mexicans and especially Jews. There will be Jews. If they have curly dark hair it's probably a Jew. Chicago Jews are 9/10 connivers.
The Vic is a cool place for concerts. Never buy anything from anyone outside of the concert halls. Also never park at the end corners in parking garages. They're a bitch to back out of.

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>>138958646
>>138958465

Yeah, I hear you Anon, the trick is just to stay off the main interstates where the cops patrol the most. I try to keep it just under 10 over the posted speed limit.
Bottle for your piss and bring an extra can of gas which can be real useful for minimizing stops. (saves more time than you'd imagine)
Try to plan your trip through the states with the higher speed limits to help maximize your efficiency in the saddle.
A good rule of thumb is to expect about an hour of travel time for each state.
Pic related.

>>138959271
>It takes more than a day to get from Atlanta to Dallas
what the fuck

>>138958893
Dude it takes a day to drive from Washington//Seattle down to Central California. Straight driving is probably 12 hours or so to get to say Sacramento or San Francisco (Not Including traffic which is quite trash in California).

To go to S. California ie. Los Angeles your talking 18 hours, and San Diego is probably another hour or two on top of it because of traffic.

When my parents lived in Texas and I helped them move, the drive from WA to Central Texas was ~ 36 hours of driving time. Texas itself basically took a day to go from the top to the coast. Then you spend a day going from NM up to say Montana then another day going to the coast.

My friend who did coast to coast said it was around 38 hours doing heavy speeding.

>>138959466

>I try to keep it just under 10 over the posted speed limit.

I would legitimately like to stab you in the throat.

For Food: Try BBQ, as many places as possible. It's by far the best American food.

>>138959276
kek. i was in colorado driving on a narrow dirt road up a mountain with a cliff drop off the side. i had asians in minivans in front of me and behind me, it was the most scared i've ever been in my life.

>>138959529
10 over the speed limit is the safest speed to drive if you don't want a ticket.

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>>138959491

>>138959544

There's a reason they're a stereotype.

Visit Yosemite or Zion in Utah

>>138959491
Not more than 24 hours, but more than 12.

Why do you think we guzzle so much oil? A lot of the shipping is by trucks as well.

>>138958893
Yes, the United States is fucking huge

>>138955806
In California, don't miss Yosemite, Sequoia National Park, and if you have time, hit the north coast, especially Humboldt County and the redwoods. SF is a much more pleasant city to visit than LA, though if you wanna see Hollywood I probably won't be able to talk you out of it. Walk around actual old Hollywood though, don't just visit tourist shit on H'wood Blvd. One of the few things really worth your time along there is Musso and Frank's, an old school restaurant open since the 20's. The old Egyptian Theatre shows great classic film-fests and interesting indie stuff, also. If you have a lot of time, check out the eastern side of the Sierras--the Owens Valley is fascinating, and the adjacent high desert region of SoCal.

>>138955806

Stay in your own shithole poo

>>138956210
Yeah, Monterey/Pacific Grove and Big Sur are worth it as well. Santa Barbara is a pretty little town and very friendly; from there up to San Luis Obispo and inland to Paso Robles is great wine country if you like that sort of thing. And if you're in Central CA don't miss Hearst Castle. One of the creepiest, most beautiful places I've ever visited. It's /x/ tier in a good way.

>>138959026
Canada, always the voice of reason. Canuktards.

>>138959590

I try to keep it under multiples of five on the theory that the troopers are retarded and are probably relying on a computer.

Not that you generally actually see an actual police officer west of the Mississippi, until you hit liberal country.

But since the highway and main street are generally actually the same road, don't be a dick and slow down. A few miles and you'll be back up to 80 mph.

>>138956520
Chicagowise, just do the museums, and be very careful to avoid hot spots. It's super fucking dangerous if you stray into the wrong 'hood.

>>138959859
Leaf is trying to get him arrested and charged as a sex offender.

>>138959674

Fuck Zion. Go to Arches and Canyonlands.

>>138956631
Or check out Oak Park and Frank Lloyd Wright's stuff there if you dig architecture. Oak Park is full of the most incredible old mansions.

>>138956875
this

>>138957231
Not Northern and Central/Eastern CA, and those are the best parts by far. Just avoid SoCal, unless you are a beach nut, and if so try to stay around San Diego, the only nice city in SoCal.

>>138959789
Thats kinda mean man...

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>>138955806
>Chicago
>New York
>California

literally the 3 places you should *not* be going to.

>>138959739
The US is the modern day Roman Empire.

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>>138959529
Don't hate anon, I'm going to share my special route.

>>138957259
>Yellowstone
That's in Wyoming actually. Mostly. Some Montana, etc.

>>138956210
>Just choose any big city.
Do the exact opposite of this.

>>138956875

>t. libtard who thinks he's red pilled
>also eats shit "jew york style pizza" which everyone east of the mississippi would kick him in the balls over

>>138959635
Oh, that makes it easier.to grasp.
(We have a slightly higher speed limits on our motorways, by the way. )

>>138957530
Not true, lol.
But that pic is a good recommendation: the Four Corners area of AZ, UT, CO and NM comprises some of the most stunning landscapes in the world. Monument Valley will blow your mind.

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>>138955806

>goes to the shittiest urban hellholes possible

>>138957259

>go to the places with a higher concentration of asians than asia

>>138955806
poo in loo

>>138960155
that's because the extent of all your motorways equals one state for us. you have effectively infinite money to spend repairing them and responding to crashes

>>138955806
>1 post by this ID

>>138955806
When in Commiefornia you got to visit the local riots and start yelling in your shitty language about /pol/ related stuff.

Ps. Fuck you curry why have you abonded our little chat room.

>>138960229
better asians than negroes surely? also this poo can take a shit on a reservate and just say it's okay because he is indian too

>>138960115
Add about twice as many roadwork sessions for honesty, and times that by 1.5 for the number of traffic jams because someone insults the rest of us and the universe by daring to die and get in the way, and yep you have a road-trip.

>>138955806
just go see the natural parks and wonders and avoid the big cities

>>138955806
It will be cold in Chicago in Nov. You will likely see many days with yemps below 0 Centigrade. . Chicago itself is nostly safe, the crimes occur in a few neighborhoods on the far south side and a couple on the western side. Given how cold it will be I dont know how much touristy stuff you will want to do. Field museum might be interesting or the Shedd aquarium, there is also probably gay art museum or two sonewhere but I dont know. If you plan on going to NY city and California, don't be retarded and rent a car to drive there get plane tickets instead.

>>138955806
If you're coming to California, DO NOT go to the Bay Area or Silicon Valley. It's inflated, has too many people, a lot of gang activity, and the traffic is fucking horrible. And San Francisco legalized shitting in the street for all the bums. San Jose isn't too great either. I've lived here my whole life and want nothing more than to leave.

>>138955806
Just wanted to let you know that "Chicago" sounds exactly like "Ci cago" or "I shit there" in Italian.
It will feel like home to you.

>>138960115

>within 200 miles of chicago

I am honestly convinced that you are not an american.

i mean honestly, who voluntarily drives on I-84?

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>>138960349

Swedecuck I'm from reservation country and you need to realize something. The Indian reservations are basically 3rd world. He'd feel right at home.

>>138960313
So?

>>>/int/
>>>/trv/

>>138960443

To be fair, there isn't any actual road work east of the Mississippi. Just the occasional "construction worker" shifting traffic cones from work zone to work zone.

Except Ohio. With a Republican governor, they save money by not bothering with traffic cones. Just road work signs. Fiscal responsibility in action.

>>138960319
They'll think he's a brown white supremacist and kill him in the name of love and tolerance.

>>138955806

>goes to america
>takes a dump on the sidewalk
>gets shot

>>138955806
>>>/trv/catalog
Don't shit up the board too.

>>138955806
Glad you're visiting Chicago...hopefully you get shot.

>>138960349

>negroes
>driving

Pick one.

If a government service provides something like transportation, make no mistake, the negroe will exploit it, while urinating, defecating, and covering it with graphite.

Indians are generally speaking, complete scum, but they are mostly price gougers. Don't get lost in the ghetto in the dark in a res town, though. Not without a gun at least.

>>138960609
>1 post by this ID

Best Neighborhoods: River North, Streeterville, Printers Row, Mag Mile, Gold Coast, Old Town
Good Neighborhoods: River West, South Loop, West Loop, Lincoln Park, Lakeview, Fulton Market

>>138957156
I love San Diego

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>>138955806

30% of Americans are trans. Just like France.

That's why the Statue of Liberty is a man in drag.

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>>138955806
go to compton and wear a blue shirt. it will tell them you're a democrat and they will love you

>>138955806
>Visiting America as a tourist in November.
>I will stay there for nearly a month, mostly in Chicago as my brother is working in the consulate.
>But I also plan to visit New York and California.
>
>Can any American anons, tell me what all places to is it and give me tips.
>
>>Inb4 poo.

So.... Could you tell is in which of these places you are going to execute your terrorist attack?

>>138955806
fuck, I was in Chicago for 2 weeks and it was horrible, heres some tips
>avoid drinking out of glasses, drink cans, theres chlorine in Chicago's water
>dont get fooled by the sun, Chicago is a very windy city, it gets pretty chilly in the shade
>dont stay out too late at night, you literally might get shot for no reason
>if you want to hook up using apps, be prepared to dish through a shitload of shemales and trannies, unless you're into that
>do NOT give money to the """""homeless""""" on the streets, they're pulling a scam for tourists
>get to know the neighborhoods on which to avoid and which not, this is pretty important
>keep it legal when you go online, feds are watching you

>>138960133
And a smidge of Idaho

>>138955806
Don't go.

If you must, don't leave your hotel. Especially in Chicago. You have a very high chance of being shot.

>>138955806
Stay out of NYC, its an overpriced hellhole and smells like pee. Visit Albany instead. Get a car and go hiking in the Catskills, Berkshires or Green Mountains. See the real America, not the urban shiteholes.

>>138958198
Drove from Las Vegas to Santa Barbara, then followed highway 1 up to Monterey.

Only times I encountered niggers were in Las Vegas and when I wanted to see what the inside of a Walmart was like.

Lots of Mexicans in certain areas though. But anywhere north of Santa Barbara was fine.

>>138958198
Stay in Germany with the other muzzies, Mohammed.

>>138955806
Stay in north Chicago away from south
Actually live close to Wrigley field the best area to stay at right now.
New York smells like piss but I'm sure that isn't a problem for you

California is a beautiful state but downtown LA is dirty and the cleanest park of town is the heart of Korea town. Outside that I honestly love the area if it weren't for the price and dirty ass downtown

>>138955806
It's gay. But so much awesomer than pooping in streets. Also, you are considered one of the least attractive variety of men by US women/people. No attractive, or even average, woman will touch you. Street nogs are perhaps the only thing less desired, and, in fact, they may well supercede due to the dong-size meme.

Sorry. But you guys do okay at the whole convenience mart/gas station thing. You might do well at other things also, but far as I can tell no one wants to work or do business with you because you are seen as cheaper and scheming as the Jews.

Don't shoot the messenger. Have fun.

>>138959914
And fuck he's not even kidding. Really picked the worst city to visit. I mean Newark might be a better option.

Just stay near the white people. Not even a /pol/ joke.

>>138963221
Thanks for the kind words man...