Krizzy Goldschloime
The Goldschloimes, a Sitcom about Orthodox Jews in New York 2017-06-15 01:19:00 Post No.130018102
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The Goldschloimes, a Sitcom about Orthodox Jews in New York 2017-06-15 01:19:00 Post No.130018102
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The Goldschloimes, a Sitcom about Orthodox Jews in New York
Krizzy Goldschloime
2017-06-15 01:19:00
Post No. 130018102
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The Goldschloimes is a sitcom about fucking shekel mongoloids in New York getting up to crazy fucking adventures
catch phrase: Havoitavoite jewish
The Dad: Rabbi Krizzy Goldschloime
The Mother: Mariane Goldschloime
The Son: Rikki Goldschloime
Uncle: Frederick Kelly
Fade in,
THE HOUSE, NEW YORK , DAY
Cheerful, seinfeld-like music plays in the background for a few moments.
KRIZZY slams open the door
MARIANE: Honey! Did you bring the eggs!
KRIZZY: NO!
RIKKI: DAAAD~ I NEED THE EGGS FOR MY NOG-CAKE
KRIZZY: I DON'T CARE -chugs everclear-
RIKKI: DAAAAD~
KRIZZY: SON~~~
MARIANE: WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP!
KRIZZY: YOU SHUT UP!
RIKKI: HOW ABOUT YOU JUST GET THE EGGS, YOU MAN-FOOL
KRIZZY grabs the meat cleaver and throws it at RIKKI
RIKKI: AHH! DAAAD!
KRIZZY grabs rubbing alcohol and walks over to RIKKI before chugging it and yelling:
HAVOITAVOITE!
FADE OUT
FADE IN
KELLY'S PENTHOUSE, DAY, NEW YORK
KRIZZY ENTERS
KRIZZY: Ey little big bro!
FREDDY: EY BIG LITTLE BRO!
KRIZZY: EY RETARD!
FREDDY: That was unwaranted and you knot it
KRIZZY: HAVOITAVOITE
FREDDY: What does that even mean?
KRIZZY: BAZINGAVOITE!
FREDDY stares down KRIZZY before grabbing the egg carton and throwing it at KRIZZY
FREDDY: HOW'S THAT A FOR HAVOITAVOITE!
KRIZZY: SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME!
FREDDY: THE WIFE OR THE SON?
KRIZZY: THE SON YOU IDIOT!
FADE OUT
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FADE IN
THE HOUSE, DAY, NEW YORK
KRIZZY WALKS IN
MARIANE: did you say your prayers to jesus christ honey?
KRIZZY: It's moses christ you idiot
MARIANE: Do I look like I care?
KRIZZY: Do I look like I still love you?
MARIANE withholds tears before running off stage
KRIZZY: HAVOITAVOITE
RIKKI walks in and looks at KRIZZY
RIKKI: DAAAD~ DID YOU GET THE EGGS FOR MAH NOG-CAKE
KRIZZY: Does getting smashed count?
RIKKI: NO DAAAD~
KRIZZY: HAVOITAVO-
RIKKI: Shut up...
KRIZZY: Go to your room right now, I'll be there in one moment
KRIZZY WALKS UP TO DOOR
KRIZZY tries to open door, it is locked
KRIZZY: OPEN UP NOW SON. I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU ONE HELL OF A WHIPPING. I know you'll like it...
RIKKI: Eggs!
KRIZZY: Fuck your eggs!
RIKKI: I'm a boy! I don't have fuckable eggs!
KRIZZY: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. Urgh, if only Biggy Goldschloime wasn't taken by child protective services.
RIKKI: Why the hell did you name him Biggy -GOLDSCHLOIME- !?
KRIZZY: You watch your language son, we don't use the H word in this HOUSEHOLD!
RIKKI: Go kill yourself, KRIZZY!
KRIZZY: That's 'Go Kill Yourself, DAD,' to you!
KRIZZY storms off
SUPERMARKET, DAY, NEW YORK
KRIZZY takes a deep breath of the meat aisle
Old Lady walks by
OLD LADY: Oh my! Rabbi Goldschloime
KRIZZY: What? Grab my Goldschloime? I'LL GRAB YOUR GOLDSCHLOIME
OLD LADY: I'll have you know, it isn't gold and the only person grabbing my schloime is my husband.
KRIZZY casually lifts a bottle of 190-proof rum to his lips and takes a sip as if it was tea
KRIZZY stares her down
KRIZZY: Old Jew
OLD LADY: I'm Christian.
KRIZZY: Jew!
OLD LADY: YOU'RE A DAMN RABBI!?~
KRIZZY: Yeah, but I'm not Israeli
OLD LADY: Oh
KRIZZY: Yeah
OLD LADY: Well, I'm giving away my eggs. They'd be good for IVF or something
KRIZZY: Can I have them?
OLD LADY stabs her hand through her belly and pulls out her ovaries, handing them to KRIZZY
KRIZZY: Thanks! -he runs off-
>>
HOME, DAY, NEW YORK
KRIZZY ENTERS WITH A BROWN, OILY BAG
KRIZZY: I GOT THE EGGS!
RIKKI looks to him. MARIANE who is on the couch, turns around to look at him. FREDDY slowly raises up from behind MARIANE.
A suspicious appearance is on FREDDY'S FACE
KRIZZY: FREDDY?
RIKKI: Oh here's just here for the cat, apparently
KRIZZY: The pussy?
RIKKI: Yeah!
KRIZZY: Ah, well, our cat is adorable. I absolutely love fluffles. BUT I'VE GOT EGGS!
KRIZZY grabs a mixing bowl, pours in ingredients and throws in the ovaries
RIKKI walks over and puts his hand in the bowl, lifting up flour, ovarie juices and butters and jams them into his mouth.
RIKKI vomits blood every where
BLACK OUT
>>
https://pastebin.com/u/MrMongWong
Episodes 1-8 :^)
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Bush
>won election through fraud and political favour
>used largest foreign attack on domestic soil to rapidly expand presidential and federal power
>started two wars in unrelated countries
>turned a surplus into a massive deficit
>militarized the CIA, which shouldn't even exist since it has no constitutional basis, and used it to capture and torture anyone who was brown
>Turned all former allies into enemy combatants
>Literally gave away a trillion dollars in bailouts after congress rejected the proposal
>No reaction to largest hurricane making landfall in New Orleans until the city was destroyed
>etc
Trump
>looks silly
>dresses poorly
>acts like a spoiled child
>tries to do stupid shit but no one cooperates with him
>spends all his time tweeting dumb shit and going on photo ops
Loooooot of short memories here.
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Anonymous
Mfw cryptokike Dramfel is so dreadful (((they))) have noe selected (((ZUCKERBURG))) as successor 2017-06-15 01:15:32 Post No.130017816
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Mfw cryptokike Dramfel is so dreadful (((they))) have noe selected (((ZUCKERBURG))) as successor 2017-06-15 01:15:32 Post No.130017816
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Mfw cryptokike Dramfel is so dreadful (((they))) have noe selected (((ZUCKERBURG))) as successor
Anonymous
2017-06-15 01:15:32
Post No. 130017816
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why is that kitteh so fat? you cant feed it pizza and sausages every day
Anonymous
Bible verse of the day 2017-06-15 01:14:59 Post No.130017785
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Bible verse of the day 2017-06-15 01:14:59 Post No.130017785
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"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."
Ephesians 6:12 KJV
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>>130017785
Amen. Come Lord Jesus
>>
Luke 21:17
You will be hated by all because of my name.
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>>130017785
I pray christianity will return to overthrow the degeneracy. Crusade when!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1uFcUt0IVE
>falling for the crypto currency meme
>further enriching you soon-to-be slave masters
哈哈
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Anonymous
India is a truly disgusting country.. 2017-06-15 01:13:35 Post No.130017690
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India is a truly disgusting country.. 2017-06-15 01:13:35 Post No.130017690
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India is a truly disgusting country..
Anonymous
2017-06-15 01:13:35
Post No. 130017690
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>Imagine being an Indian
>See this very distinct mascot
>He's walking this way
>"Oh no, it's the POO PATROL
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>>130017690
>I hope you weren't thinking about shitting in the street Pajeet, you'll be fined!
>>
I see the Indian version of a Baywatch reboot in the making.
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>>130017690
I've yet to see an Indian flag since the meme flags came out. For all u know you are an Indian larping as a nazi
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>Trump won't visit UK
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jun/11/donald-trump-state-visit-to-britain-put-on-hold
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA, b-but Anglo :(
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>>130017684
What if we archive it
https://archive.is/sYZPB
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>>130018544
>we have more important things at the moment.
Like what? Burning Shitskins in your commie block?
>>
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>>130018544
You are so fucked silly Brit, Germany will tear you apart starting with Scotland.
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Hola, amigos de fourchan vengo de parte de Shadow, me gustaría hacerles una pregunta.
Que opinan de las personas que creen que los nazis son solo un invento de la NASSA, y se crearon para robar recetas de cocina en sudamerica y centro america, ya que la gente de estos lugares cocina bien, la NASSA dice que Hitelr invadió las costas de Brasil y Bolivia, para robar la receta de los tacos y la chipa.
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*teleports behind you*
Nothing personnel, kiddo.
*shits on your street*
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Seriously? Looking to get attention? Stop being a woman faggot.
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>>130017488
lol nice one. I laughed.
> "[The Southern Baptists] denounce and repudiate white supremacy and every form of racial and ethnic hatred as a scheme of the devil"
Sorry guys, I can't play into the devil's hand any longer. Globalism and miscegenation is the only way into heaven.
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I recently left my local SWP branch due to (((certain members))) slipping more and more idpol into activities. Should I join the Labour Party?
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>>130017355
come join my party comrade it has lots of benefits
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>>130017355
The Nationalist Socialist Party is going places I hear.
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>>130017617
>>130017735
edgy shitpostting aside, got any real thoughts?
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>build housing towers out of wood and super flammable insulating material
>let hundreds of immigrants move in
5 dimensional chess! All hail to Bongistan!
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>>130017295
>A German getting off to gas chambers
Anonymous
Presidential Corruption & Tomfuckery 2017-06-15 01:05:25 Post No.130017054
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Presidential Corruption & Tomfuckery 2017-06-15 01:05:25 Post No.130017054
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Presidential Corruption & Tomfuckery
Anonymous
2017-06-15 01:05:25
Post No. 130017054
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>Do you believe doing something unethical, corrupt, and/or impeachable is required in order to make it into/stay in the white house?
>If so, do you believe that keeps presidents in line with the elite, media, etc. or else risk exposure?
>Did Trump take part in this or did he just make it into the white house the old fashioned way?
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Anonymous
Godhood is achievable 2017-06-15 01:03:12 Post No.130016889
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Godhood is achievable 2017-06-15 01:03:12 Post No.130016889
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Why do mass murderers achieve Godhood (Mao, Kim ill Sung, Napoleon,Genghis Khan)?
This only proves that one who is true to his/her own virtues and morals will achieve the worship of others?
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>>130016889
How do you explain Hitler's status. Apart from some administrative errors he was not responsible for (((anyones))) deaths?
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>>130016889
>ultra high status on EARTH
>kingdom of the adversary
>Godhood
....
are you ok?
What ever happened to her?
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>>130016737
She still sometimes being present before camera like irrelevant talking head she is, nothing more.