Tales From The Dealership: Fucking Failures Edition

>>14014192
>tfw /o/ convinces you to buy an mr2 that immediately dies

God damnit I have to go to work right now. LPG plz

Glorious LPG stories. Moar!

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lpg what can i get for this gem right here

>>14014207
don't worry. I'll screencap anything lulz-worthy

>was studying for final tomorrow
>LPG
fug. RIP grades

>>14014212
probably 500$

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o yea LPG thread

>>14014223
Same here. Oh well, I've got 14 hrs..

>>14014192
>dad makes a reasonable offer on the corolla, so I write it up, and we get to financing
>dad tells me that neckbeard has to get the loan on his own, he is not financing at all
>neckbeard gets up to go to bathroom while I get the finance app pulled up, and I continue talking to dad
>dad rants about how kid got a useless 4 year degree
>he's had 2 jobs in his entire life, both part time, one as a cashier at taco bell, and the one he has now as a stock boy at target
>NOW I know where dad's bitterness is coming from
>dad absolutely refuses to get his credit entangled with his deadbeat son, will help him pick the car, but that is it
>dad continues to rant about how he can't get useless son to get a real job, or stop playing video games
>like we are into full on meme territory at this point, with boomer dad ranting about useless millennial son
>I stifle a chuckle as neckbeard gets back and I start putting the credit app together
>I'm not expecting anything good, but I hope the kid MIGHT qualify for a first time buyers program since he's never financed a car
>NOPE
>he gets kicked straight to a Tier IV lender, 20% APR, 35% value of car as down payment, proof of employment and income
>I think the deal is dead, as the due's dad knows what's up, and there is no way he is going to take the interest rate
>sure enough, dad lets out a long "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck" when he sees the interest rate, but he stays at the table.
>turns out, dad knew the kids credit was fucked. neckbeard ran up a bunch of credit card debt a couple years back and never told anyone
>dad pulls out calculator and figures up the interest charges for the loan
>admits we have been the only place that could actually get him approved, asks me if there is anything we can do on the loan terms
>I call the bank and talk to the analyst, best he can do is drop the down payment requirement to 20% of the cars value
>take the counter off back to dad and let him know that we are all in
>dad gives the son a death glare

>>14014223
>>14014250
>not having your finals on Friday
fucking plebs

>just got off work
>LPG storytime

Awww yeessss

>>14014257
>having all your finals on one day
after tomorrow at 9am I am going to proceed to get blasted on everclear.

FUCKING HELL LPG I LOVE YOU BUT I GOTTA BE AT WORK IN 7 HOURS

>>14014257
>Not being done with your finals today

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>>14014256
stereotypes are a thing for a reason.

>>14014257
How could all my finals be on one day?

>>14014269
>all your finals
>last one

Enjoy having less time to study, fag.

>>14014256
Poor son kek.
He sounds like an irresponsible ass buy how the hell did a seemingly responsible dad raise an irresponsible ass? Also he must have gotten a STEM degree kek.

>>14014285
what do you think this whole week was? but I don't get to choose it either way.

>>14014287
>STEM
>unemployment
You actually have to be retarded to not find a STEM job, which is impossible because the degrees aren't easy.

>>14014293
>but I don't get to choose it either way

nice damage control

>>14014287
No, if he had a STEM degree, he'd have a job.

>>14014256
>dad flips the calculator around with the interest amount still on the screen
>"look at that you little shit, that's what your worthless ass is going to make this car cost"
>son just stutters and has no real answer to dad
>dad makes him write out all his expenses to make sure he can actually cover the monthly payment with his part time job at target
>kid lives at home, so it's literally a list of stuff like 'Warcraft account, video games, hardcore hentai subscription'
>ok I made the hentai part up but still, I am fucking laughing my head off at this 28 year dudes list of living expenses
>once dad is satisfied that shit head can make the payment, he offers to cover the down payment, and we write up the deal
>neckbeard spends the rest of the time PLAYING A FUCKING GAMEBOY while we write up the contract and I talk to his dad
>finally signs the contract and they walk out to the car
>dad doesn't even let him drive it home

On of those times I actually felt bad for the dad. As a little kicker, I asked the dad what the kid got a degree in. Philosophy.

>>14014305
>Philosophy.
why?

>>14014302
what do you want from me m9

>>14014305
top kek
o
p

k
e
k

>>14014300
>>14014303
Christ it's like 2008 all over again

>>14014305
What a tard.

>>14014305
>philosophy

Hahahaha haha

>>14014305
LPG, what's the best way to get a job selling cars? I might have an in at a Dodge dealership an hour away, but it's in an area I don't want to live in. I have experience in sales, but not for cars

i-it's experience selling t-trees and pickles

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>>14014305
>Philosophy

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>>14014305

>Philosophy

>>14014192
>>14014256
>>14014305
Literally /v/ buys a car

>>14014321
The market is slowing down but it's not impossible by any means.

>>14014324
>trees and pickles
The fuck?

>>14014212
About treeee-fiddy

>>14014312
because he hates money, obviously

>>14014324
...what job is there where you sell trees AND pickles at the same time?

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>>14014305
>Philosophy.

>>14014312
Because fedoras are the useless intellectual types unlike stem field related intellectuals

>>14014334
A dope dealing sex toy store?

>>14014333
Boy scouts most likely, Christmas trees and dumb food shit.

>>14014334
Selling pickled trees, obviously.

>>14014334
Not at the same time. Last year I sold cedar trees with my dad, and the people I live with now (who's cousin owns the dealership) sell pickles in the fall. Turns out I'm better at selling them than the cook is, and she has loads of experience in sales

>>14014305
I feel bad for the kid too, he clearly has actual autism (not the meme kind) or some other mental illness and is stuck with a father who doesn't quite get that his child is basically disabled.

Like I don't think the kid is just inept/lazy.

>>14014357
Well, the best way is to have had experience in commissions sales, be somewhat knowledgeable about cars, and have a God-tier small talk game.

At most dealerships, getting the job is going to come down to the interview, and how well the sales manager thinks you will be able to deal with people/close sales.


Also, story 2 incoming, so stay tuned

>>14014379
I'm usually really shitty at small talk, but when talking about something I know about (Like the pickles we make), I sound like an expert

>>14014357
you go, pickle man

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LPG how's the miata doing?

Wow, you and the boomer dad really fucked him on the financing, and he was too stupid to realize it.

You'd think that someone would have more interest in not financially sabotaging their children.

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>>14014305
>philosophie

Story 2

>2 young black kids walk in, dressed like fucking bums, and walk straight out to look at sports cars
>I see them linger around a Camaro for a while, then head back to the showroom.
>my internal 'these fuckers can't buy shit' alarm sounds and I retreat to my office
>they come in and flag down one of the sales managers, and I can hear them talking out in the showroom for a few minutes
>out of fucking nowhere, the sales manager walks back to my office and asks me to help these guys
>Sales Manager: "yeah LPG, it's a hot lead, these guys wanna buy!"
>Me: "fuck you Dale, those kids couldn't finance a god damn candy bar, you owe me lunch"
>I slowly walk out and introduce myself, and within a minute I already want to punch a baby
>my sales manager had already promised this dip shit he could test drive the camaro, so I have to go scan his driver's license and get a dealer plate
>this motherfucker is 20
>as soon as we get to the car, I ask him what he does
>"oh...uh...like what I legally do?"
>What
>I
>legally
>do?
>so help me god I am going to tear Dale's nut's off and staple them to my office wall when I get back
>he 'legally' works part time at UPS
>BUT he TOTALLY has 'some shit on the side dawg, you know?'
>teeth clenched, I let this kid take the camaro out on a test drive
>of course the second we are out of the parking lot, he floors it
>entire test drive is him saying "awh man dawg, this is IT!" in different tones and levels of intensity
>15 minutes of anal clenching terror later, we get back, and drag his ass back to my office to get a credit app done so I can send him on down the road kicking his can

>>14014223
Who needs grades
LPG is far more important

>>14014438
His son is sabotaging him everyday living on his dad's dime. At least getting him a usable car will possibly help get him a job, not to mention it the sons fault for running up that credit card debt

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>>14014445
oh boy. here we go.

>>14014445
>inb4 2+2= fried chicken

>>14014445
bix nood

Hiya LPG. Spoke with you in a thread earlier about buy vs. lease. Did the math, and indeed buying is better in my case.

Negotiating a 26k-27k down to 18k-20k sound normal, or is that gonna be a hard one?

How much does it have to suck to be that dad? You get married to a woman you love. It's the best thing that ever happened to you. You have a child, and it's a son--another highlight. It's your firstborn, so everything it does is just gold--first words, first crawling, first tooth, first locks of hair, first steps, first day of school.

Having a kid is nothing special--even middle-school girls manage--but dammit, that one is yours, and he's fucking perfect.

Until things start to go wrong. Somewhere, it changes from my-firstborn-is-fucking-perfect-and-the-joy-of-my-life. He's socially awkward. He gets bad grades in middle school. And then high school. And for seven years, nothing you do helps. No amount of tutoring. No amount of coaching. No amount of hand-holding. Seven years--if not longer!--of, every day, the joy of your life fails, no matter how hard you try to help, and eventually even becomes loathsome.

He does manage to go to college, but he decides on a useless degree, no matter how hard you try to counsel him otherwise. He spends recklessly on credit and racks up debt but hides it, knowing that you wouldn't approve, if not knowing why. He graduates with even more debt, and no way of paying it off.

And he's back home.

His CV is garbage. His resume is garbage. He has no skills and no peer network.

But he has you. And you drag your sorry sack of shit to job interviews--ones you scheduled yourself. And he ekes out a living, part-time, so long as he can live at home. A reminder that despite all your efforts, every day, for twenty-eight years, he has none of your values. None of your skills. Not even your hygiene.

He takes your food, your money, and your hearth. But yet he values YOU so little he won't even ASK about cars, not matter what it costs him.

But he's still your son, dammit. And if he's going to have even some semblance of a normal life, he needs a job. And that means he needs a car.

So you rescue your shame one more time.

>>14014490
That's a pretty big jump.

>>14014463

Still, by burdening his neckbeard son with even more debt he pretty much guarantees that he won't leave home anytime soon.

>>14014492
It's 100% the fathers fault if the kid comes out of HS with no skills, bad grades , and no plan

Kid should have at least one

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>>14014331
Sadly, you could plug /o/ in for /v/ and it would still work out. Could easily see this playing out as some /o/tard thinking he knows about cars buying a shitbox and screwing himself - ends up having to rely on pops to bail him out.

>>14014445
>I draw up the credit app, and we get all his info punched in
>he asks me again if there is any way he can put 'his side money' on the app
>After explaining again why i can't put his illegal, under the table frosty-tier weed money on the application, we send it to the banks
>drops straight to the Tier IV lenders.
>I keep my fingers crossed he gets flat out declined so I can be done with this dude and move on to other things
>no such luck
>one of our Tier IV lenders approves him at 24%, with 8 grand down
>kid immediately starts asking me how I can get him a lower down payment because "dawg, i really want this camaro dawg"
>tell him he can either find a co-signer or come up with 8 grand
>kid asks me what a co-signer is
>Against my better judgement, I explain it, and tell him if he could find someone willing to do it, it might lower the down payment
>dude flips out his cell phone and calls his girl friend
>gets into heated, on the verge of tears argument with girlfriend about co-signing for this car
>Him: "Girl please, Tina, girl, you gotta BELIEVE in my girl, I swear I ain't gonna let you down! Just BELIEVE IN ME!"
>girlfriend eventually tells him to fuck off, and he hangs up, and goes straight to calling his mom
>gets into same speech with his mom with all the BELIEVE IN MEEEEE bullshit again
>mom eventually tells him to fuck off and he hangs up again
>At this point, I pretty much walk him to the door, and in a subtle way, tell him not to come back unless he has 8 grand
>as he walks off, I can hear his friend talking to him about seeing "Easy G" for the money
>at this point, I seriously hope this kid DOESN'T get the money from anyone, because he's obviously gonna lose the car, and I am going to hear about him getting shot in some alley by 'Easy G'

>>14014192
>>14014256
>>14014305
On one hand, the dad seems like he hasn't really bothered trying to teach his kid things about life, and just looks down on his now-neckbeard 28 year old.
One the other hand, the neckbeard sounds like he gives zero fucks, and has fucked up priorities. Just the Gameboy during dealing is retardballs stupid.

>>14014501
I don't know. There's some kids are just useless man. Not b8, but some literally can't be helped.

>>14014507
Fuck you I played gameboy when the dealing happened

>>14014492
The kid clearly has an untreated mental illness of some kind

>>14014506
You sure easy g isn't one of those check cashing operations?

>>14014506
>sadly this wasn't the end of this kid
>he and his friend bounce back in a day later
>the 'friend' says he will co-sign, as he has a job that 'makes tons of money dawg'
>before I even run the credit application, I ask the dude is he has a pay stub
>kid pulls out a folded piece of regular ass printer paper as his pay stub
>this kid has the WORST fake paystub I have ever seen, like he didn't even bother to download a template off the internet
>I seriously can't even keep my poker face up and just give the kid the paper back and say "nice try"
>dude tries to act fake offended, but I cut him off at the pass and let him know I KNOW it's fake
>tell the kid again to come back and see me when he has 8 grand

I half expect this kid to come back in with 8 grand cash advance from his drug contact, time will tell I suppose

>>14014492
careful there, you're going to hurt some feelings here

>>14014500
Kid has a job pop can kick him out guilt free

>>14014490
It's possible, but it will take some effort, depending on the type of vehicle

>>14014438
He didn't get fucked. When you have terrible credit you get a terrible rate. The contract is spelled out in very simple language.

>>14014521
was absolutely a person, and not a check cashing gig

>>14014506

>Easy G

Sounds like a payday loan place to me.

>>14014513
Being antisocial and having no pride for yourself is not an excuse.

>>14014438
>really fucked him on the financing

No....he fucked himself with a shit credit rating. Dad can't cover for him forever, the guy's 28 (assuming no mental disabilities, which honestly seems implausible).

Besides, if he doesn't finance it himself, how the fuck is his credit going to improve? You think the interest rates are magically going to drop when he has to take out other loans?

>>14014542
No, but a nasty case of real autism probably is.

>>14014498

Sure is, but I've heard people do it.

>>14014533

Minivan, Honda Odyssey, though a Sienna (no AWD) is roughly in that same area.

Sold a Sega Game Gear to a basement dweller recently.

>texts that he's interested in the game gear
>tell him I still have it
>ok, I have to ask my dad for the money
>it's for sale for $30
>ok ingot the money but we have to meet outside because my dad is mad at me
>drive up to the house
>BMW m3 and z71 or whatever Chevy Truck in the driveway
>park in front of driveway
>basement dweller comes out
>wants to test it before buying
>30 year old playing Tom and Jerry
>dad comes out
>won't make eye contact, looks angry as fuck
>gets his mail, goes in the house, comes back out and gets in his truck
>get the basement dweller to finally pay me and peel off as the dad starts revving his engine

>>14014543
>fucked himself with a shit credit rating

Moral of the story here: don't fuck up your credit rating kids.

Climbing out of that hellhole is like pushing out a turd that won't quit.

>>14014492
This kind of hit me in the feels. While I was going to university I had no real skills. I had peers a social network and got some skills sure, but nothing to show for it and I ended up dropping out and living back at home after borrowing probably 15-20 grand from my parents. That type of money is hard for a middle class family and honestly things were pretty strained for a while when I dropped out even though my dad actually encouraged I do it.

Now I'm working a trade. I've become a lot handier too. I literally didn't know my way around a wrench and today I managed to cut off my old broken muffler and put a new one on with the proper adapters and parts. I used clamps, still no idea how to weld, but I feel like I'm actually starting to making something real for myself. I even let my old man know about it because we were discussing what type of muffler I should get and he seemed pretty proud I actually got it done. I don't think I could stand an office job. I want to be useful in my personal life as well.

Feels good. If I could give any advice. If you're not 100% sure what you want to do with your life get a trade that interests you instead of wasting money at school. If can make up your mind then you'll have a good nest egg anyways.

>>14014492

Make no mistake, the NEETs of today are going to be the National Socialist footsoldiers of tomorrow.

>>14014506
>taking credit for a car
All cars I owned I bought money down, I dont understand why ppl with low budget get into loans, I mean u could just wait a year or two and u could just buy it with savings plus it would be cheaper because u dont have to pay any interests

>>14014563
Alternatively.....don't get a philosophy degree

>>14014552
Still not an excuse function autists can still be successful, like temple grandin

>>14014571
>NEET

If nippon has taught us anything, they're all hidden geniuses who will save the us. Oh and bitches flock to them like flies to shit

>>14014513
This.

Some parents don't know how to raise their kids. Not in an insulting way; they literally just don't know what they're doing, but when you make a mistake raising a kid, it doesn't manifest until the kid's behavior expresses that developmental error.

And some parents are then like "Oh shit no kid let me explain what that should be like; I must have taught you incorrectly."

While others are like "YOU FUCKUP WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?"

Also LPG >>14014506
I intended to by my first car from a dealership (still used) after my first year of postgraduate employment.

How do I build up my credit score from now (sophomore) to then? My dad stole my identity and trashed my credit (417) and I'm still going back and forth with the credit bureau (It's a pain in the ass to get off my history because I'm a Jr so our names are the same).

>>14014572
Good credit means low interest, so it's not a big deal. New cars also work well for those without a lot of cash on hand because repairs are covered under warranty and such.

>>14014576
Or that too. I was in computer engineering so at least I was taking something somewhat useful, but it just wasn't for me.

>>14014552
a 4 yr degree with a real case of autism? not very likely

>>14014581
Unfuck all of your dad's shit, goddamn that sucks he rekt your credit, and then just do something like a target credit card or whatever, buy some shit and then pay it off.

>>14014578
I think you're not aware that there is a broad spectrum of functionality, ranging from essentially retarded to extremely intelligent.

>>14014552
>>14014543
In all honesty, I don't think the kid had autism, I think he was just a big pile of failure.

It's a story for another time, but I've actually sold cars to a guy with 'Burgers, and functional autism.

>>14014572
Because these people can't into saving money. You make the extremely large assumption that they have ANYTHING in savings to work with. Most of the people aiming for low budget, cheap cars, have no money to put down, and they have to get a loan because otherwise they wouldn never be able to buy anything

>>14014581
Get a secure line of credit, and use it responsibly. building a credit score is all about showing that you can manage credit and debt when it is given to you. After 6 months with a secure credit card, try for a regular card through someone like capital one. Again, carry a small balance month to month, never run up a large debt, and make payments on time

>>14014581
>How do I build up my credit score from now (sophomore) to then?

Pay your bills, a credit card will help....just make sure you pay your bills on time. Not sure if you're renting, but that helps as well. But given your relative lack of money right now, there's only so much you can do. Credit is basically just how much trust the system has that you'll pay your dues....can't really show them you can pay your dues when you have nothing to pay with.

Finance part of your car as well if your credit gives you a decent rate by that point, but make SURE you can pay the bills on time.

It's a slow process.

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>>14014523
God dayum! This nigga breaking rules 1, 3, 7 AND 10!

>>14014589
If he was able to drive and play a game boy, and graduate from college I'd he's pretty functional all things considered.

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>>14014523
People actually floor it on a test drive? When I went to the dealership to test drive mine the boomer in the car with me looked like he was gonna bend me over and ram the JD Power trophy in his office up my ass if I went over 40

>>14014591
>functional autism

You know, honestly, I've met many people with functional autism who were much better at managing their shit than normal people.

They put much more effort into it, probably because they know they're lacking in that area.

>>14014563
I'm sure your folks are proud of you. Since they still speak to you, that means they don't see the lost college money -- they see their kid trying his damndest and succeeding at long last.

>>14014533

>He didn't get fucked. When you have terrible credit you get a terrible rate. The contract is spelled out in very simple language.

You still fucked him. I understand it's your job, but you fucked him.

>>14014543

He shouldn't need a loan in the first place for a shitty old Corolla. Do people literally have no savings anymore?

The only way I could ever see taking out a loan being beneficial is when the rate of inflation eclipses the interest rate on the loan, or you invest in an asset that will appreciate.

Fuck loans for anything else.

>>14014601
A secure line of credit is something ANYONE can get, and is the best way to start rebuilding if you fuck up your credit.

It's a credit card, but you have to load it with money in the same way you would a debit card. You have a limit, it reports to the credit bureau, but it's the banks way of making sure you at least have SOME funds on hand all the time

>>14014616
dipshits do. I had some 30 year old take a Porsche up to 120 on I-40 with me in the car yelling at his ass the entire time.

>>14014591
>It's a story for another time, but I've actually sold cars to a guy with 'Burgers, and functional autism.

I need to read this

>>14014591
>sold cars to aspies and autists

man, why you gotta blue ball us?

>>14014626
>He shouldn't need a loan in the first place for a shitty old Corolla. Do people literally have no savings anymore?

Did you not read the part where the guy's a complete failure? What part of his history makes you think he would have any kind of savings?

>>14014629
>A secure line of credit

I agree, I should've specified that instead of just credit car. This is a great way to raise your credit if you're straight out of college with no credit history

>>14014639

Someone post this on /v/ and watch them all get butthurt because it describes their lives to a T

>>14014625
Thanks anon. Not to sound like tumblr, but the system is a little fucked. You treat teenagers like kids until they graduate and suddenly they're supposed to know what they want to do with their life. I can see how without proper guidance or support how lots of people get themselves intro trouble early.

>>14014630
>>14014633
Alright, I will put off stry 3 and take a side trop

The 'Bergers guy was actually pretty fun, he bought an SRT-8 Jeep Cherokee off of me. He was just HYPER AS FUCK the entire time. It was like an 8 year old on christmas morning who got every single present he wanted plus a pony

When we went out to look at the Jeep, he was getting super jumpy and I made a little joke about it. guy flat out told me he was an aspie, and that the SRT-8 was his dream car. Dude was a welder, and he worked for some gas company where they lowered him down into huge ass underground tanks, and he did welding work to patch them up

He told me what he wanted to put down, and what payment he wanted. I ran the numbers, told him he needed to put down an extra thousand to make it work, he did, and all was well

It was a little awkward because the dude was literally at 8 year old on christmas levels of excited, but it was pretty cool to hook the dude up with his dream car

The autism guy was just super numbers focused. most dealerships had given up on him, because he wanted to walk through every single cent of the transaction, but I have the patience of a saint if people aren't assholes. Guy could do amazing little mental math tricks too.

>>14014674
>I will put off stry 3

YOU GUYS FUCKED US OUT OF ANOTHER ACTUAL STORY

:-(

>>14014665
High school can be fucking retarded
>don't teach them about taxes, or anything about finances
>no help with career search
>push degrees onto everybody, even dumbfucks who would be better off with a trade

>better make sure they know about WWII for the gazillionth time instead

>>14014665
But that's wrong
That's just shitty parenting

>>14014677
You're still gonna get it, keep your pants on

>>14014674
thank you based LPG
Bergers dude actually sounds cool
autism dude would drive me insane

>>14014312
Honestly, I bet it's fucking interesting. Just not something to get a four year degree in and expect it to be a ticket to employment.

>>14014685
oh okay good, but my pants were already off because i was fapping

>>14014685
If I take my pants off, will I get it faster...and harder?

>>14014523

I really hope he comes back with 8 grand in tens.

>>14014679
It's the common means of parenting, too. Hell my parents were like that. I'm returning to Uni in January and not seeing them again, though.

>>14014674
>welding
Huh. That's not the stereotype I'd expect for numbers-tism.

>>14014685
My pants stay where they are.

>>14014679
My parents helped me, but I meant school it self. At least where I got my education.

I can describe their advice easily. Guy with good grades should be an engineer. Girl with good grades should be a nurse.

>>14014691
>Just not something to get a four year degree in and expect it to be a ticket to employment

This. I think it's fine if you want a philosophy degree, but you better have a plan afterwards that goes farther than "find a job".

There are guys in med school with philosophy degrees and that's fine.......because they had a reasonable plan.

>>14014702
'Aspie was a welder

Number focused Autism guy was an actuary

>>14014694
lpg is love lpg is life

>>14014523
>Fake stub

How obvious is this anyway? I worked for a legit business that paid me off the books and I needed a car. I've never missed a payment and have a decent interest rate for somebody who had no credit at the time. When I gave it to the guy he didn't even bat an eyelid. I assume I'm fine unless I default on payments.

>>14014626
I guess car salesmen hold guns to peoples heads and make them sign ridiculous loan contracts. I'm sure he forced him to run up credit card debt and not pay it off too. Credit doesn't start out with a shitty history, people fuck it up. Please go learn something before you try to shift the blame.

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>>14014616
>>14014629

I must be the most pussyfooted because I actually had the sales associate tell me to push it and get a feel for the car when I went to test drive a Moosetang GT. Granted it was a really sweet old guy with an affinity for Elvis Presley

>>14014711
I knew I was missing something.

>>14014674
Shit that's actually a dangerous job even for people who function normally. Props to him.

>>14014340
kek. Gotta remember that

>>14014721

When you fuck someone, it's usually consentual. It takes two to fuck.

I'm not excusing the deadbeat kid.

>>14014733
>When you fuck someone, it's usually consentual. It takes two to fuck.

Micropenis detected. Can't fuck self.

>>14014719
>How obvious is this anyway?

I mean, when you don't have any tax hold outs or ANYTHING a rela pay stub should and the spelling is wrong, and the formatting isn't even consistent, it's obvious

Plenty of websites have templates you can use to at least make it look somewhat passable

Really it only becomes an issue if you have shit credit. The bank wants a copy of your pay stub to have some real life basis that you can pay the loan back. In most cases, the bank will call your works HR department to at least verify you are still employed.

We have had people slip very convincing fake pay stubs by us, only to have the bank repo the car 2 weeks later because none of the info checked out when they contacted the employer.
Also hang tight, story 3 inbound

Before I read story 2

What do you value this at
>1998 Jeep Cherokee
>132k miles
>Interior immaculate
>drivetrain 9/10
You know how my jeep looks. Just wondering what worth is at the dealer as trade is.

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>>14014192
>tfw I'm on my way to being like this guy in a few years

I'm 22 and still in college because I completely fucked up high school, I work 10 hours a week at a grocery store, and I need to declare a major like yesterday but have no fucking clue what I want to study. I thought about engineering but I'm fucking garbage at math.

Help me /o/.

>>14014726
>licking your dick in the middle of the street

not saying the dog deserved it but

>>14014747
Go to a trade school and stop wasting money.

>>14014750
Sometimes you just can't convince anyone else to lick it

>>14014305
One of my buddies that I lived with for a while got a philosophy degree and turned out fine. He seemed poor as fuck, but THEN
>go on vacation
>some bullshit happened with the cheap hotel we had booked
>booking canceled without telling us
>we spend afternoon struggling to find something cheap
>he borrows my phone to check his bank account
>he doesn't even have a smart phone
>offers to spring for this hotel that would have cost $2k for the 4 nights
>out of pocket
>he says it wouldn't make too big of a dent in his savings
>get hit on cheap place, stay there
His parents are on food stamps, so I know it isn't them giving him money, I think he's just that fastidious.

>>14014747
Become a welder.

>>14014747

Get into a trade school or get your CDL and drive a truck. Don't be going to college if you have no idea what you want to do.

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>>14014747
Do IT. Get certs like Comptia A+ and stuff. Trade work is also good if you're good with your hands. Also trade is more social I believe if you like it or not

>>14014303
>>14014300
Only like a third of people with STEM degrees work in STEM. You got oversold on STEM. I know classics, philosophy, art history and psychology majors who make bank in finance and consulting because they didn't treat college like some sort of blue-collar job training program and actually made a place for themselves in the world.

>>14014757
that's actually pretty cool. You don't know what kind of job he has or anything?

>>14014760
>>14014758
>>14014747
>>14014751
>do things you don't want to do for years
Genius
Do you recommend 90s corolla and civics to teens too

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>>14014764
That picture makes me physically uncomfortable

>>14014766
A STEM degree like biology is nearly worthless. Engineering on the other hand is good.

It's not about the degree so much as about the person. If you get a psychology degree with no clear goal in mind, you'll turn out shit. If you get a psychology degree and spend those 4 years working toward a clear goal, making connections, scouting out positions in business sector as...say, a HR person... you'll turn out just fine.

It's not the degree, it's the person. That being said, STEM degrees tend to have better outcomes for your average person than a gender studies degree.

>>14014612
ITS DA 10 CRACK COMMANDMENTS NIGGA

>>14014743
Ah right. They actually check a bit less than I thought then. Good, because I'd hate to have shit happen after 2 years of peace.

My fake one was identical to some old real ones I had but with the details swapped and meticulously combed for mistakes. I think the only way it could have been found out is if they somehow got my tax details and compared the two.

>>14014773
protip
all jobs suck, some more than others. That's why it's a job. You're being compensated for your time and uncomfort.

>>14014764

This. I'm in the IT Networking program at my local CC

> chill, laid back teachers
> classes are fun and the projects are rewarding

The hire rate for my program is like 98% so I'll have no problem finding a job after I graduate next semester. I already have contacts at several IT shops in my area so I will be all set.

>>14014766
I work in STEM. It's hard as shit to find qualified individuals when hiring because the market is flooded with a bunch of fuckwits who should never have tried to become engineers. If you aren't a fuckwit it's a good gig.

>>14014747
>I need to declare a major like yesterday
Anon, you needed that settled four years' of yesterdays ago. If you really can't math, you're going to have a hard time with engineering, comp sci, finance, econ, and even parts of medicine.

In the meanwhile, there's no shame in plumbing, or welding, or electricianing, or HVACifications, or driving truck, or anything else that engages your hands and your head.

I'd say "head off to trade school," but I'm guessing you have four years of credits already. If there's a major that lets you graduate NOW, take it, and at least have a diploma to show for four years.

>>14014767
I forgot to mention, he just worked at a bookstore/comic book shop. It's just that he is VERY content with his financial situation and knew how to live cheaply from growing up poor. Probably helps that our rent was under $200 a month.

>>14014793
This is boomer logic
Protip
Just because you think your job sucks doesn't mean we all have to be miserable

Story 3

This little adventure was a mom and son, if you guys liked story 1, this is just as kek worthy

>I get a call from an older lady on the phone who wants to talk about trading her sons car in and getting him something else
>tell her that I will be glad to help her out, make an appointment for later that day
>she comes in with 26 year old son
>he drives a 2012 Ford Fusion Hybrid
>ask mom why they are looking to get out of car
>mom starts to explain the entire backstory
>kid just got caught in his 2nd DUI in less than 2 years
>judge pulled his DL for 6 months
>he has a conditional DL right now that will let him drive back and forth to work, and that is it
>he lost his job when the judge pulled his DL, needs to get out of his current car payment and into something cheaper
>he is paying a little over 600 a month on the Fusion right now
>mom knows his credit is fucked because he's behind on his car payments, and lived off credit cads after he lost his job with the second DUI
>she is willing to co-sign if we can work something out on the car
>first step is for us to take a look at the trade. Fusion is actually nice, it's loaded out, probably as nice as you could get a Fusion hybrid in 2012
>things start to go south when we put the car up on the lift and really start to take a look at it....

>>14014793
Ehh...not true. Granted, finding a job you love is like the holy grail of life.

>>14014764
>>14014795
How to the certifications work? Would an employer still expect you to have a degree in computer science or whatever in addition?

>>14014811

> $600/month
> on a ford motherfucking fusion

> things start to go south when we put the car up on the lift and really start to take a look at it....

Unreported frame damage, calling it here.

>>14014811
oh boy

>>14014811
>things start to go south when we put the car up on the lift and really start to take a look at it....

Undercarriage troll jumps out and demands you answer three questions. Calling it.

>>14014818

From what I've seen, at least in my area, employers will either want to see certs or a 2/4 yr degree in an IT program from a community college or similiar.

Charter and the other telecom companies are advertising for entry level networking techs at $45K/yr

>>14014764
Fuck IT.

it's saturated. Not to mention shit as a profession. But that's an opinion.

>>14014662
Just posted it on v

>>14014838

IT is very vague. There's so many different jobs that ymmv.

In general, help desk or IT jobs that force you to interact with non-computer people will suck balls.

Stuff like networking or guys that only deal with internal infrastructure is usually better.

>>14014848
Link?

here studying for finals
post the 3rd fkin story lpg
i need it

>>14014811
>entire front of the car has be involved in a major accident.
>nothing on the front is original, non-factory welds everywhere, tire wear is uneven, obvious frame damage
>tech actually puts the thing on the alignment machine, and the front end is out of shape by a not insignificant amount
>tech has no idea how the car wasn't totalled out based on the amount of damage that must have been done
>welp, there goes all the re-sale value of this thing down the tube
>go back around to explain the situation to the mom and the son
>mom is in total shock, gets a bit aggressive, says they have had the car since it was new, it has never been in a wreck
>son sort of coughs at this point and says that isn't true
>mom whips around on him, while 26 year old says he plowed over a fence driving home 'with friends'
>says insurance company wanted to total it, but it convinced them to fix it so that his mom wouldn't find out
>kid had lied to mom and said he was letting a friend borrow the car while it was in the shop getting fixed
>kid actually payed his own insurance at that time, so mom didn't even see increase in premium.
>accident damage puts the car's value at about 7 grand as a wholesale piece.
>kid is still more than 10 grand upside down in the car
>with his shit credit, we have to look at something very cheap
>set him up in a 10K Camry, roll over his negative equity
>mom has excellent credit, so we actually manage to pull an interest rate of 5% even with all the negative equity hanging on the deal like a boat anchor
>we manage to get things set up, get him insurance, and get him on the road

It was a shitty situation, but be got the kids payment down to 300 bucks from 600, got him in a decent car, and hopefully he could keep his job. And I thought this was the end....

How quickly do you write off someone coming in a shitbox to look at nice cars?

I honestly pretty much enjoyed car shopping during the days without being bothered by salespeople because I was looking at 20-35k cars driving my non-turbo talon shitbox dd that's all paint faded, rusty, etc.

When I did approach a salesperson myself at a subaru dealership about a 2015 wrx the guy was obviously trying to get me back out the door just figuring I was a kid looking to fuck around. I was legitimately interested in the car though and wanted to see what kind of financing I could get, mainly APR.
Soon as he pulled my credit and I gave him a pay stub he started hounding me about buying. Not that I make a ton of money but a 20 something guy in a plain hoody and jeans driving a 21 year old beat up dsm doesn't really scream "50k+/yr and self sufficient".

By the way LPG thanks for your advice for dealership dealing. Ended up buying my CSRT4 and got the deal sweetened thanks to some of your tips.

>>14014862
>says insurance company wanted to total it, but it convinced them to fix it so that his mom wouldn't find out

Since when did insurance give two shits about your personal reasons?

>>14014818
>>14014829
Definitely check what certs employers want BEFORE getting one, though.

>>14014856
I was a phone monkey at my college, and it was the most fun I ever had. No worries about call times, or satisfaction ratings, or upselling, or anything like that--just students and professors with broken Interwebs.

There's a knack to getting useful information out of the not-so-technically-inclined over the phone. Never ask people if their network cable is plugged in, because of course it is, and professors ain't crawling under their desks to check anyway.

Ask them if it's plugged in THE RIGHT WAY, because they're directional, you see. It's total bullshit, but flipping the cable around gets 'em to verify that it's securely plugged into computer AND wall.

>>14014862

> and I thought this was the end....

Dipshit son probably got drunk and crashed the Camry too.

>>14014873
>When I did approach a salesperson myself at a subaru dealership about a 2015 wrx the guy was obviously trying to get me back out the door just figuring I was a kid looking to fuck around. I was legitimately interested in the car though and wanted to see what kind of financing I could get, mainly APR.
>Soon as he pulled my credit and I gave him a pay stub he started hounding me about buying. Not that I make a ton of money but a 20 something guy in a plain hoody and jeans driving a 21 year old beat up dsm doesn't really scream "50k+/yr and self sufficient".
I had that one day. I was looking for a subaru as well. But, they wanted me to do a credit check before I test drove a car. Fuck that.

>>14014873
Literally how are you so rich

>>14014878
I'm guessing that means he convinced them to fix it somehow, his intention being so his mum wouldn't find out

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>>14014887
He doesn't waste his money on shitty gm products.

>>14014856
True enough. I could never work IT. Godspeed to those of you who do.

>>14014887
>not sure if sarcasm
I got a dumb degree and a dumb retail management job. It pays good but hours and work can suck.

>>14014862
So... if he had a limited license where he was only allowed to drive to work and back, and he didn't have a job, why the fuck did he even need a car in the first place?

>>14014887
>50k/yr
>rich

fuck man, have bigger dreams than that. Not saying anon's doing poorly but fuck... 40-50k/yr isn't that hard in your 20s if you planned things out and thought your career through...

>>14014897
careful with that. I'm eyeing a c5z06 or base c6 next summer. Or a 05-08 CTSV

>>14014862
>all this happened about a month ago
>get a call from the business office last week that one of my customers was back there
>sure enough it was the mom, and she was in tears
>son got picked up for a 3rd DUI, lost his DL for 4 years
>mom just went ahead and bought the car in for a voluntary repo, as she couldn't make the payment on her own
>son has now wrecked her credit score as well

>>14014883
>>14014889
You can always negotiate an insurance settlement. When some teenage girl ran my mom off the road, the insurance company wanted to fix her C Class, but she argued them into totalling it out instead. You can make the exact opposite argument if you want them to fix the car instead of totalling it

>>14014905
he HAD a new job, he just couldnt afford the 600 a month car payment any more

>>14014907
>>14014904
My entire family pulled in $17k a year and we lived comfy
$50k is rich as fuck

>>14014878

Sometimes insurance will give you the option to repair the existing car but it's usually a bad idea if the damage is as bad as the Fusion LPG described.

>>14014907

>if you knew the right people

There, I fixed that for you.

>>14014907
It depends a ton on where you live, too. If the median home price in your area is $100k, $50k/yr goes pretty damn far.

>>14014911
>Or a 05-08 CTSV
why

>>14014914
You gotta feel bad for the mom at this point. Sure, you can say maybe she should've raised her son better.....but some kids just turn out to be shit and there's no Follow this manual and your kids will be successful book.

>>14014859
I'm too stupid to know how

>>14014828
Kek

>>14014873
It really all depends on your attitude. SOMETIMES you can write a person off by what they drive up in, but lots of people go shopping in their beater car for the same reason you did, to not get hassled

I always go talk to people, 5 minutes of small talk usually lets me know if I wanna keep you on my radar or not

>>14014886

My girlfriend and I got dressed up and went for a test drive in a 2015 Mustang GT. Even slapped a ring on her finger to prove that we were buying our engagement gift.

Bit of a laff, she liked driving it.

>>14014917
>17k a year

What the fuck? Do you live in somalia?

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>>14014914
wow I fucking hate that kid so much

I want to give that poor mom a hug :(

>>14014917

Nobody could live on $17K/yr in my city. $50K is just average.

I bet if you lived in the South or some lower-income area of the US then you could get by pretty well with $17K

>>14014947
>>14014941
Well, we lived in Miami

>>14014947
I live in the south, and I fucking LOVE the low cost of living here.

200K can get you a 3 story house with a pool and an acre of land. As soon as the wife gets out of pharmacy school, we are moving about 15 minutes outside the city to some place where I don't have to be in an HOA

LPG, my car was stolen and I'm thinking of getting a car around $10k

any advice? I have a 650 credit score and have 4k

>>14014926
>If the median home price in your area is $100k, $50k/yr goes pretty damn far.

I definitely agree. Living costs is a huge thing. 50k in the midwest is not the same as 50k in LA.

That being said 50k is not rich as fuck. Most places it's average. If you think 50k is rich as fuck, it's time to reorganize your life.....barring any incredible circumstances out of your control. Don't fall into the boomer pessimistic mindset and just give up...

>>14014746
Also dude, I forget, do you have a 2 or 4 door Jeep? and what trim level is it?

>>14014256
what degrees?

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>>14014937

> SOMETIMES you can write a person off by what they drive up in

Like pic related.

>>14014955
Eh close enough I guess. Parts of miami are barely better....

>>14014973
Not exactly Miami
It was a comfy small suburb city

>>14014572
>saving money for a year or two
Good luck doing that when you don't have reliable transportation to get to work, thats why poor people finance cheap cars.

>>14014886
You guys are aware that you are looking at literally THE worst car for no-buy test drives right? We had an STI at the dealership I worked at, and we had two or three kids come in everyday to test drive with no real interest in buying. It would be out pretty much all day on weekends so much that we had a hard time selling it because it was ALWAYS gone out on a test drive on Saturdays. And those kids drove it really fucking hard. Only reason we tolerated it was because the owner must have been treated like you guys once when buying a car, and honored ALL test drives. We had a nigger roll up in a beat ass Town and Country who asked to test drive the M6 in the showroom. We MOVED CARS and got that fucker out, he drove the piss out of it, then turned around about bought a 4 grand car off of our used lot.

>>14014981
...on 17k? Unless it was a trailer park or with heavy government subsidy/stamps, I call bullshit.

>>14014985
I understand that. I'm not doing a credit check unless I am going to buy a car, though.

>>14014987
You don't need that much money to live and raise a kid
$30k income is actually pretty good
4chan and internet has spoiled you
BIG NUMBERS GOTTA HAVE BIG NUMBERS BIG NUMBERS I NEED IT TO BE THE BIGGEST BIG NUMBERS MCMANSION JAY LENO GARAGE
Nah.

>>14014887
>50k/yr
I make that and no way I am rich.

>>14014987

Well if they had a house inherited or paid off then it's possible but still a big stretch of the imagination.

>>14014917
Where do you live?
I mean, I can live comfy but it's just me.
Though honestly I could live somewhat comfy (with good budgeting) supporting maybe a wife and kid on a 35-40k/yr salary here in Iowa.

I pull about 3600/mo after taxes and everything. However I just started not too long ago and I'm funneling a lot of money into paying off my student loans and buying necessities since I moved out on my own finally.
I don't end up with a ton left over each month at the moment.

+ retail management really takes advantage of salaried positions in this season. 60-70hour weeks aren't really uncommon. If you think about it, in a 70 hour work week I'm averaging just under $13/hr.

It's why I really don't see this as long term for me - just for paying off loans and building some bank up and getting the management experience.
>>14014926
>why
They're cheap and I just want to do a heads/cam setup for a fun drag/auto cross hybrid.

>>14014983
>poor people finance cheap cars

It's a pretty sad cycle honestly.

Need a job to have money, can't have job without car, can't get car without money, borrow money to buy car, use money from job to pay off shit interest because didn't have money to buy car for job. Rinse and repeat.

>>14014963
>That being said 50k is not rich as fuck. Most places it's average.
It's enough to get a salesman excited about getting you in a Subaru, which is what the poster was saying. Where I am you could rent an alright place and have enough disposable income to live comfortably, have fun, and put some money away on $50k. I'd be happy to make that much (still a student), but I'd like to make a lot more.

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>>14014985
Haha I had a guy test drive a used C7 out of our showroom, the turn around and buy a Kia Rio, it's part of the game if you are in sales.

>>14014998
>madpoor detected

>>14015002
>They're cheap and I just want to do a heads/cam setup for a fun drag/auto cross hybrid.
They're cheap for a reason. Shit interiors, weak diff, wheel hop city. I think dollars to donuts, the GTO is the best not-shitbox performance option going right now.

>>14015008

Is this why many used car lots try to have 1-2 performance/sporty cars in the inventory?

Makes sense if it's just to get people in the door.

>>14014998
You're right. There are circumstances where it's entirely possible. For example, house already paid off, car already paid off, has own vegetable garden for food.

I was operating under the assumption anon had average family with mortgage, car payments, etc.

You don't need a lot of money to live, but 17k is not enough for most families to live comfortably in the US....without government assistance I suppose.

>>14014957
Yeah, go towards the coast and shit sails the fuck up in price. A house that is around 200k more inland sells for like 750K+ in some areas of where I live (Beaufort, SC)

>>14014966
4 door classic aka bare bones

>>14015021
Fuck I know all about that, my grandparents retired to Myrtle Beach, there poreprty costs about 3x what it would cost anywhere not near the ocean.

Granted, where we are in Durham/Chapel Hill is pretty expensive compared to the rest of the state, but not that bad compared to other urban areas

>>14015018
You always wanna have some eye candy for people to come in and drool over man

>>14015012
>>14015020
Gov assistance is included with $17k
To b honest I don't need or want any of that stuff
I'd be a happy man living in a tiny apartment, maybe with a son as a single dad at age 36 or so making $40k a year as a teacher or sys admin
That's the dream right there

>>14015005
Of course, you're a student. As a single male, 50k is definitely comfortable living assuming you live in an area with decent costs. If I were a salesman and I saw you had a stable job, I'd want to sell you that subaru too.

Got a little carried away, but like you alluded to, 50k is respectable but by no means rich.

>>14015030
2.5-3K depending on the market. Older Jeeps usually do pretty well if they aren't rusted out

>>14015005
just go apply at Target.
They love us fresh college grads. Just prepare to no-life it

>>14015008
Why do people claim that GM's interiors have improved? That still looks like the same crap. Moreover, why do people claim that GM has somehow magically "changed" since the bailout? Was there some huge Stalin-style purge that I am not aware of? Because things mostly look like business as usual in Detroit.

>>14014811
>>14014862
>>14014914
I feel so bad for his mother. some kids are just dicks. You would've thought he'd learned his lesson from the second DUI.

>>14015040
There actually was a huge purge of top end officials during the bailouts. It's why GM went through 3 different CEO's before settling on Mary Barra for their current CEO.
Same thing with Chrysler too.

>>14015031
Hey, my grandparents also retired to Myrtle Beach. They're in a fancy 55+ community in a custom home.

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>>14014998
That's not snobbish elitism, anon. $17k might not be destitution, but it's legit poverty. $52k is median.

>>14014914
He's lucky. DUIs here get actual jail time.

>>14015038
I was afraid of that. As expected I'd do much better on private market. Just wondering.

Was looking at A Honda Pilot as a replacement but now I think I'm just gonna put my wife through school and keep the XJ instead of financing a vehicle.

>>14015041
I kinda feel bad but not too much.
1 DUI is a fuckhuge mistake you get scolded for.
2 DUI's and your son is an alcoholic; do not cosign on a car, get the kid some therapy.
3DUI's and it's hopeless.

>>14015041
I actually like what Tennessee does. If you ever get a DUI, you get a giant "DUI Offender" hologram on your DL for the rest of your life if you stay in the state.

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>>14015059
You will do humorously better in the private market.

And hey, my wife fucking loves her Pilot man, basically doesn't wanna drive anything else

>>14015062
I'm not sure I like the "rest of your life" part, people make mistakes and get DUIs, pay their dues as adjudicated, and move on.

>>14015078
oh yeah its a real touge monster

>>14015062
I approve of this bureaucracy.

>>14015078
Yeah she likes the XJ I was just looking to build credit on a car loan, but it really isn't worth it at this point. Plus she is itching to go back to school.

So instead of ~$20k in a car I'll pay $45k in school. Makes sense right?

>>14014512
Fuckin neckbeard scum.

>>14015053
>hur the arbitrarily determined definition/s of poverty are legitimate
Cost of living remains the same, but standard of living goes up across the board. If poverty were a legitimate term, the poverty line would be going down but it isn't because it's just a political game for welfare votes.

>>14015099
It does.

And speaking of loans, I am so fucking thankful wal-mart is going to be paying back my wife's student loans. her total is gonna hit right at 100K when she graduates

>>14015118
That was technically English, but I have no idea what you're actually trying to argue. Are you just "teach the controversy" about whether poor people exist?

>>14015128
>wal-mart is going to be paying back my wife's student loans
Does walmart have some amazing program that I'm not aware of?

>>14015034
I totally agree. $50k/yr ain't rich, but you don't need to be rich to buy a new Subaru.

>>14015039
I'm in a pretty good engineering field in a good location for it, I don't plan on working at Target.

>>14015128
nice, my wife is about halfway through her degree already so hopefully the end cost won't be too bad.

>>14015003
Yup, and then there is the
>car is shit and keeps breaking down
>try to save money for a new car
>every time you scratch a few bucks together your shitheap breaks down and you have to sink another grand into it
>there goes the money you were saving for a better car

>>14015145
She's in pharmacy school, and is doing her retail internship with wal-mart

They liked her enough that they offered her a 5 year contract to work in north carolina as a staff pharmacist after she graduates, and they will pay back her student loans in full

Plus she steps into a 135,000 dollar job day one out of her Pharm.D program, with a raise to 165K by year 5

>those feels when you married a woman with brains

>>14015141
I'm saying that being poor doesn't matter if your standard of living is comparable to the middle class 40 years ago.
Cost of living is about the same as it used to be, but the standard of living has gone up for everyone. You can live a middle class life of the past on a modern poor persons salary.
The standard for poverty keep getting lower and lower, and yet the quality of life of people in poverty keeps getting higher and higher, but somehow they are still in poverty.


Which is why poverty is bullshit, it isn't about standard of living or income. It's about welfare eligibility, and politics.

>>14015058
In michigan I'm pretty sure DUI #3 is a felony

>>14015002
Where u at in Iowa?

>>14015170
I'm swooning over here.

>>14015201
jello detected

>>14015170
do you think you'll ever make more than her? if you don't will it affect your feelings in anyway?

>>14014305

> 28
> Works at Target and gets a 20% APR

At that age I was having my first house built. I blame the dad for not making that kid get a real job.

>>14015178
$17,000 in 2015 bucks was $3,800 in 1975 bucks. Neither of those are middle class.

Your mistake was stopping at 40 years ago. 400 years ago, those poorfags would've been fucking kings, what with all their indoor plumbing and flush toilets.

>>14014747
>but I'm fucking garbage at math
Don't even worry about that. I'm garbage at math but I get everything else. Just put in the work to get it

>>14015229
Realistically, she'll probably always make slightly more than me, but considering she has a doctorate and I don't that's not surprising. And fuck no it won't affect my feelings.

>>14015236
How do you let your child come home and tell you he's going to major in philosophy without smacking him in the dick?

>>14015216
A little, yeah. My lady makes 40k and I make peanuts until I finish law school.

>>14015249
>law school

My sister-in-law's husband is in law school, and he keeps being super paranoid about finding a job when he graduates, as he has been told the job market is saturated. How are things looking for you man?

>>14015248

Exactly. I mean, I hate to be an asshole parent but you have a responsibility to tell your kids when they're being idiots. Shit, I tried talking my brother in law out of his art degree because I knew it would get him exactly nothing in the future. 10+ years later and his degree is collecting dust.

>>14014616
I did a few highway pulls when I went to buy my car

>>14015265
When my wife graduated undergrad with her chem degree, one of her roommates graduated with a fucking exercise science degree

2.5 years later, she still mans the counter at starbucks.

>>14015237
again, what you income is in real dollars doesn't matter. You get a better standard of living for the same amount of real dollars adjusted for inflation.
Which means the poverty line isn't about the conditions of the people living in 'poverty', but rather an arbitrary scale created for political purposes.

An objective measure of poverty would be an inability to afford food or housing, but that is not what poverty is based on. It is an arbitrary scale with changing definition because it is only used for political purposes instead of actually assessing whether people are likely to have a shit quality of life.

>>14015258
My dad owns a private practice with a couple lawyers and my step-mom (paralegal). Before slinking off to work with him I'll probably try to find a ludicrous job. But I totally feel his worry, a lot of law schools are selling dreams. For the price, it ain't worth it in my opinion unless it's a top tier school or you got connections and just need that bar passage.

>>14015188
right now working in Iowa City & Cedar Rapids area. I live in cedar falls though

>>14015276

I'm all for higher education, especially since I don't have any and just got lucky/made it with hard work, but I'll never understand people who waste their time going to school for a degree they could literally wipe their ass with.

>>14015323
>I'll never understand people who waste their time going to school for a degree they could literally wipe their ass with.
13 years of indoctrination being told college college college college, and only once or twice briefly being told trade schools are an option 11 years in.

>>14014616

I've never "floored" a car on a test drive, but taking it on the freeway/highway is a must for a test drive and I usually ask them if they mind if I put my foot into it a bit. I'd like to know if the car can get out of it's own way.

>>14015330
>>14015323

It has a lot to do with high school's/parents not really offering kids any sort of guidance about what to do with their lives. God knows my high school didn't tell me shit about what would make for a good career

Lots of kids simply luck out by having parents who push them into a program or just knowing what they want to do from a young age. if you don't know what you want do to, and don't have parents who can offer you decent advice, it's easy to go to college and waste 4 years on a degree that's meaningless.

>>14015330

That's fine, I mean college should be a good idea but not if you're going for a women studies degree, or a degree in American history or somesuchshit. If you're going to spend 4 years/thousands of dollars on education, get something that will at least likely result in a decent job.

>>14015351

I actually wanted to become a federal agent like my dad but I didn't even graduate high school. He told me "computers and medicine are two fields that will always exist" so I sort of listened to him I guess. And I make more money than he ever did so that's something I suppose.

>>14015330
I was that kid in HS that reminded people that trade schools or certs are an option since freshman year
Most people took it as a complete joke
My car friends were stressing over college acceptance since their GPA was abysmal
They didn't have an interest anyway , they just think they'll end up making min wage forever with no college
>my dad works a trade be barely pulls I'm $20k idiot

He's not in a trade he's a fucking grunt that paints houses

I ended up going to college , had the grades and already had two years done for free before I graduated HS
But I always knew I had options if all I wanted was a high pay check
These people specifically chose not to
>if I work REALLY HARD this last semester they'll notice the increase and know I'm serious
>upenn will let me in for my 2.3 GPA

Last I hear a lot of them go to CC together majoring in various humanities with no real plan

>>14015353
I was saying people don't know that college is optional, so they just pick something/anything.
from grade school to highschool the emphasis is on college/college degrees, not good/profitable degrees.

>>14015370
Fucking Alphonse you gaywad!

>>14015381
This.
I just picked comp engineering without knowing a damn thing about 'em, though it's actually kind of interesting for me.

Unfortunately I hate Calculus. I can do it at a passable level but don't enjoy it at all. Programming is neat, though, as is just learning about the workings of everything.

I still don't really know if I could make it without college - hell, I don't think I can make it with college. I'm honestly probably doomed to be a failure.

My friends are happy though; did 2 years at UTI and are out making good money and living the bachelor life.

>>14015381

If I had been smart I would have asked my uncle to help me become an electrician when I dropped out of high school. I'd probably be making more money than I do now, though he's had a few bad construction accidents and my biggest work concern is falling off my desk if I'm napping.

>>14015312
Fuck. I literally never find anyone from around Des Moines on here. Always from Sioux City or out east.

>>14015353

If I was any fucking good with tools I'd have picked up a trade. A lot of the slackers I went to HS with did that and got pretty decent jobs.

>>14015062
I disagree.
Whenever I'm in the passenger seat and the person driving starts texting I immediately get nervous because they aren't even looking at the fucking road and lose the ability to steer.
However, whenever my buddy and I go out on the weekends he can down 6-8 beers and I'm 100% confident riding with him because he pays attention to the road and isn't retarded.

I'm not saying it's okay or that everyone could do it the same but a DUI shouldn't fuck someone over for life if they can clearly drive above the limit.

>>14015415

You can learn to be good with tools, it's just a matter of using them until you are and maybe banging your knuckles/scrapping yourself up a bit.

>>14015429

I don't even have the strength to remove fucking lug nuts.

>>14014571
The Nazis didn't give handouts.

Honestly, even the commies didn't give handouts. You had to work at least.

We're on a modern tier if socialism, where power to this labor has turned into power to the lazy.

>>14015460
>Nazis
>2012
>not knowing what nazi stands for

Looks like it was worth waking up today

>>14015455
get a pipe and make a nice long lever

>>14014933

>>>/v//319622854

>>14015455

> I don't even have the strength to remove fucking lug nuts.

Are you trying to do it while sitting on the ground? If so, stand up, use a 4 way lug wrench too.

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>>14015460
>The Nazis didn't give handouts.

you are a fucking retard and the reason democracy is shit

>>14015475

mother fucker

>>>/v/319622854

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>>14015284
>An objective measure of poverty would be an inability to afford food or housing
That's a great idea. You could find out how much food and housing cost on average in a given area. Then everyone making less than that is objectively impoverished.

>You get a better standard of living for the same amount of real dollars adjusted for inflation.
M8, I'm going to stop here, because you have absolutely no idea what words mean. I'm going to explain what they mean, in case anyone else thinks you're for real, and then go to bed.

Let's say it's a bad year. Gas prices are up. Food prices are up. Rent is up. Everything's more expensive than it was before. But, your boss didn't give you a raise, and you make the same amount of money you did before. Since everything's more expensive, you can't buy as much. You're poorer, even though your pay wasn't cut.

We call your salary "nominal" dollars. Everything getting more expensive is called "inflation." After adjusting your salary for inflation, you have "real" dollars--if everything got 4% more expensive, inflation is 4%, and you have 4% fewer "real" dollars.

Since "real" dollars are pegged to how much things cost, they're a measure of how much you can actually buy, and therefore what your standard of living is. If you can buy more or better food/clothing/shelter/whatever, you by definition have more real dollars. That's why "you get a better standard of living for the same amount of real dollars" is word salad. If your standard of living improved, you are better off in real terms, and by definition do NOT have the same amount of real dollars--you have more.

Now, you CAN have a better standard of living on the same number of NOMINAL dollars IF everything you buy suddenly got cheaper. That's called deflation, or negative inflation. You'll notice that doesn't happen--overall, your dollar buys slightly less each year.

Unless your "standard of living" has literally nothing to do with what you can afford.

>>14014202

Rolfmao

Ralph mao

>>14015330
I went to a college preparatory grade school and high school. I didn't even know going to a trade school was an option.

>>14014445

>awh man dawg, this is it!

>>14015523
same. private school all the way through. basically didn't even know trades existed, much less that they actually made money.

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>>14015466
>he thinks National Socialists were actually socialists

>>14015517
Don't waste your time, he's just parroting some conservative talking point about how if you have a fridge and indoor plumbing and an old PS3 or some shit, you can't possibly be poor.

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>>14015559
>mfw a ps3 is old now

>>14014445
Would walking up there like a bum change anything in final price negotiations?
A friend of mine did that last time, when he went and bought a new loaded Ram 1500. Just walked up there in a set of dirty shoes, a set of jeans he used to paint his newest store in, and a ragged hoodie - and started looking at, what here in Yurop, amounts to about 80 to 100 grand. He claimed it got he some negotiating advantage, and they dropped the price a bit because of that.

Also, there's 2 Dodge dealers around here. When he walked into the first (again, dressed like a bum) no sales guy would come to him. He just walked out the door, and despite them being closer, he never even has it serviced there (despite his service plan allowing him to), because ''they're a bunch of faggots that judge on appearance''. He went to the next dealership, sales guy approached him right away, did a test drive, and got a stellar rate apparently.

>>14015559
Depends on how you look at poverty. In the U.S., the guidelines are set by the Department of Heath & Human Services. They use a 40-year-old formula for determining poverty based on income and number of people in a household. There's also the poverty threshold, measured by the Census Bureau for statistical purposes.

Next, you have relative measures of poverty, which compares one's wealth to the wealth of others. There are some formulae that attempt to quantify relative poverty, but in the end it's really subjective because you can choose who you're measuring against.

Relative poverty almost always disagrees with the rubric set forth by H&HS. Because it accounts for more factors and it's subjective.

>>14014811
>lived off credit cards after he lost his job with the second DUI
>murica
god bless yurope t bh :^)

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>>14014674
>lowered him down into huge ass underground tanks, and he did welding work to patch them up
i wouldnt do that shit if i got paid a trillion dollars

>>14014521

Or some poor guy they burglarize every month.

>>14014571

No they won't. They're too lazy to put in the effort, much less risk their safety in any way.

>>14014626
>Do people literally have no savings anymore?
It's not always that easy dude. Last year I worked 2 jobs, 13 hours a day 6-7 days a week, Last November I have one day off for the entire month. I was making just enough money to pay my bills on time. Savings were my fucking dream

>>14014305
Why the fuck would he let his kid get a degree in Philosophy? My parents would kick my ass if I did that and if I did, they wouldn't help me one Goddamn bit. I think the problem with neckbeard like this is their parents were too complacent with them as kids and then are too mean to them once they realize they are sacks of shit.

>>14016043
You can make a decent philosophy degree work. It just won't work on its own in the same way STEM degrees supposedly do. You need to put a lot of time into sorting internships, volunteering, sitting on committees for things and generally showing you that you're the sort of person who gets shit done. Plenty of people succeed in life having studied philosophy; it's just a matter of drive.

>>14014192
How much was the Corolla?

>>14015455
Work smarter, not harder.

>>14014257

>having finals

Children please.

>>14014506

Easy-G? Must be Eazy-E's grandson.

>>14016043
>tfw philosophy degree

Got a piece of land for 20k., used lawn tractors and a 4x8 flatbed to haul shit up a hill and build a one room cabin.

It can work. Just got a 400 dollar awd astro van to pass inspection, now i have a dope 2003 DD.

I make 37k year. facilities/maintenance type job.

My dad was making roughly twice what i do when he retired

>>14014387
>pickle expert.
Damn you 4chan,some people I don't need to know exist.

>>14014726
God damn, I hate Mexicans with a passion. I laugh when I see Mexicans catching spics crossing the border.

>>14014722
The difference is whether or not the salesperson thinks they can make a sale.
If they don't think they'll make a sale, they don't want to deal with your ass speeding around.
If they do think they can make a sale, they want you to open the throttle up and have fun with the car, it will make you more likely to buy.

>>14014747
People are going to get mad at me for saying this, but no one's 'not a math person.'
Anyone can pass calculus classes if they put their mind to it, people just get intimidated and hide behind the excuse 'I'm just not good at math!'

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>>14014305
>philosophy

>>14014766
>I know people who got useless degrees but daddy has a friend in the finance industry

>>14014838
It's a wrong opinion.
If you know your shit, you can get a good job in IT. If there are good jobs to be had, it's not saturated.

>>14015002
>3,600 a month after taxes on 50k
Wat? I make 78k a year and that's almost my take home after the gov't rapes me.

>>14014492
Sounds shitty
What I wouldn't give to have had my dad when I was growing up.

>>14014572
Last car wife and I bought was with a loan. Her previous car was beginning to be a sinking ship because neglected repairs from previous owners started showing up. We lost quite a bit of money on it so when we looked for this next car we financed. What "savings" we would have by waiting would have had to go to keep the current car running so it wouldn't be a great scenario.

>>14014947
14k/yr mom and I. It helped we were sharing an apt with 2 other people.
50k doesn't sound too bad for me but I do plan to move out of here to lower cost of living areas.

>>14014963
I don't think you know what the word boomer means,stupid.

Being a car dealer seems easy as fuck.
My friend from grade school owns a Ford dealership, and he let me pretend to be him at Manheim auctions when I was buying my '15 Focus ST. They drove me around in shuttles to look at any car in the 100 acre parking lot that I wanted, I got an excellent free lunch, the auction fee is quite modest at $500 and through some trickery I did not have to pay sales tax.
The car was 6k off of KBB and 12k off sticker with 5000 miles. If I was so inclined I could turn around and sell this thing for a nice profit.

>TFW you buy the orange one because that color consistently sold for less.

At first I hated the color, but it has grown on me somewhat. While I would have preferred a more subdued color, I got over it quickly for almost $1000.

>>14014557
kek

I've had a few close encounters with top tier neckbeard basement dwellers as roommates before. One was a full on trash hoarder, but kept to himself (plenty of keks at his expense though, great story, he looked exactly like the underage girls brother from Fan Boys, clothes and all), but the other (different house) fucked us all so hard; a complete deadbeat loser by not paying rent a single time he was there while unemployed (literally lived in our basement) and never took his dog outside. After we caught him in all the lies and my usually calm friend (closest friends with him) lost his shit, the realty company pegged us with the back payments. He eventually paid us back slowly after getting a job, but fuck.

When this all first started going down my friend and I (who flipped shit) ran into people we knew from home who had lived with this fucker; story went like this:
>dude and girlfriend tell him you need to get a job to pay rent
>does nothing for a week
>dude and gf get him several applications from local places and say here, fill them out
>found all apps a week later, none filled out

some people can't be helped.