Favorite Album and The Worst Thing You've Ever Done

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cheated on the university entrance exam

>>74258315
Name one gentile who's a more talented lyricist than Joanna

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>>74258284
>cheated on my girlfriend

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>>74258315
>((()))

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>Got my high school physics teacher inadvertently fired.
He was such a nice guy too.

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>led a cult of followers to murder a famous actress and her family

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Abandoned all my friends when I found people I thought were cooler. Now I have no one

>>74258415
howd u do it

>>74258284
Same album
Ghosted all my friends from high school once I got to college
Realistically it wasn't too bad in the long run since I became a very different person during college and I'm sure I eventually would have stopped talking to them because of differing interests and personalities, but short term it was a huge dick move

>>74258458
kek

>>74258475
they were probably fine leaving you because of your garbage taste

>>74258476
It's a bit of a long story so I'll write it out in parts.

>Be me, in grade 12 physics.
>Tough course, I suck balls at math.
>Low class average on first unit test, people are nervous about coming one.
>A student asks the teacher, who's a bit dim-witted but very nice, about the next test.
>Teacher says it's very short, and to prove that point, pulls out a piece of paper he claims is the test from his desk at the front and shows us the length of it.
>Puts it back in desk.
>Friend of mine jokingly says we should take a picture of it after class.
>Laugh him off.
>End of class approaches.
>Find out friend is serious.
>Class ends, teacher runs out in a hurry to get to next lesson, friend sticks around.
>Me and other friend who knows what's happening leave in a rush not wanting to get caught in whatever stupid plan our friend has.
>We all share the same class next period.
>He walks in.

cont.

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beat my ex-gf

>>74258597
If you guys don't care to read this all, let me know and I'll shut up, since it is quite a long story.

>Friend, who I'll call Andy, quietly shows us pictures he's taken, they seem legit.
>Me and other friend, who I'll call Mike, start to freak out a little.
>I tell friend not to tell anyone else.
>He shares the pictures with us and we start to study it.
>Pictures only includes questions, not answers. We're having trouble figuring some things out.
>Andy decides it's a good idea to let our classmate, who I'll call John, in on this since he's a bit of a math wiz.
>Me and Mike are strongly against it, but Andy does it anyway.
>John sends us pictures of his solutions as thanks for sharing the test.
>All's well till we find out John has shared the pictures with his friends in the class, as we feared.
>Soon half the class knows what's up, many know it was Andy who stole it.
>Test comes around, a lot of people ace it.
>Teacher is happy people are doing well.

cont.

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I haven't killed myself yet, I've forced those around me to continue putting up with me.

>>74258711
continue

>>74258711
KEEP GOING

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Spit chocolate rice crispy treat into the face of an autistic boy, he died several months later

or

got drunk, cut my arm on a window and called my gf a dumb bitch

>>74258761
he will never come back...

>>74258711

>>74258714
>>74258761
Glad people are enjoying this. Feels good to vent.

>Andy decides to do this again for the next test.
>Me and Mike just fuck around now in class, thinking we don't have to study.
>We find out one guy in the class, Harold, did poorly on the test despite having the answers.
>lol.jpg
>Next test comes around, things happen the same way. We all do really well. Teacher, who, again, is a dunce, thinks everyone is just studying hard.
>Fucking Harold still got lower than the rest of us.
>Don't think much of it.
>But then Andy approaches Mike and me later in the day and tells us that there's been talk that Harold went to the teacher to tell him about the whole thing since he's jealous of the people doing well.
>We freak out, and go to class the next day expecting the worse. Nothing happens.

cont.

>>74258536
Hey man no need to be mean!

>>74258862
i'm sorry i'm sorry. just seems like the worst radiohead album to pick as your favorite

>>74258812
I know this is starting to sound far fetched, but I promise you it's true. Most stressful period of my life, thinking I was gonna get caught. Should have just studied.

>We figure that if Harold did say anything to the teacher it was only suggesting what was happening, since showing proof of the test pictures would mean also showing how he used them to cheat on the first two.
>We hope this is the case and tell John not to share any future pictures with Harold.
>John agrees.
>Next test is coming up.
>The teacher has been staying later into the class these days.
>Andy ends up staying in class right up till the end while me and Mike keep watch, and tell him the teacher for the next period is about to come in.
>Me and Mike walk off to next class, hoping that Andy will be fine.
>He walks in soon after us.
>Ask him if he's gotten the pictures.
>Tells us the other teacher was about to walk in so he didn't have time.
>Says he just grabbed the test instead.
>wtf.exe

cont.

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I have manipulated my best friend and his girlfriend to break up with each other just for fun.

>>74258901
This is when things start to get a little heated.

>Andy literally pulls out the test from his bag, shows it to us.
>We quickly tell him to put it back.
>We're scared knowing the teacher will definitely find out this time.
>Test results come back.
>Teacher goes around handing them out, says good job, nice work, etc.
>Hands back Andy's without saying anything, despite him getting near perfect.
>Shit, he probably knows it's Andy now.
>After class we discuss what we should do to avoid detection.
>Andy is old friends with another guy in class, who is among the now 15 or so people benefiting from the stolen goods.
>He's friends with Harold.
>We tell him quietly to talk to Harold and find out what's happening.
>Tells us Harold won't say much, but did say that he is helping the teacher catch people who are breaking rules.
>This is bad.
>Meanwhile, a grade wide physics contest is coming up that we join for the fuck of it, might look good for university.

cont.

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>>74258938
You sick bastard

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Be socially inept enough that it would be impossible at this point to continue my family bloodline or contribute in any beneficial way to society.

>>74259005
i don't know why this developing story isn't the most popular thing on /mu right now

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>told my friend franklin that this album was bad just so he wouldn't listen to it

>>74259005
More than halfway through now.

>We complete the contest, didn't get most of the questions. Move on from it, who cares.
>Back in class, we plan to be extra careful for the next test.
>Pretend to study in class, ask teacher questions to act confused.
>Andy thinks it's a good idea to try to get into the classroom after school is over for next test to avoid other people.
>Goes with Harold's friend, who I guess I should name now, Paul and try to get into the classroom.
>Door is locked, they try picking it for fuck's sake.
>Doesn't work obviously so they decide just to do it right after class like before.
>We get the test again and things are looking good. Harold and teacher still have no idea how to prove it's us as he didn't know how and when we were getting the tests.
>Fast forward a few days, nearing the end of the semester.
>Teacher still hasn't done shit and our averages are looking good.
>In math last period, with all three of us.
>Teacher gets a phone call.

cont.

>>74258447
bingo


''''Newsom'''

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punched my lil brother in the face and fucked up his nose permanently

>>74258789
did this chocolate crispy spitting cause the death

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I'm sure I've told this story before, but:
>Spanish class, 12th grade
>We're assigned some project where we have to make a slideshow about Spanish-speaking countries
>Friend makes his in Google Docs, wants my opinion on it
>Shares it with me on Google Docs, unknowingly giving me editing privileges as well
>7/10 presentation, wouldn't read again
Next day
>Mate is up presenting his slideshow
>Realize I still have access to it on my phone
>Including editing privileges
>I go to google to find some hardcore gay porn pictures
>Switch over to Google Docs, go into his slideshow
>Paste all the pictures onto the final slide while he's halfway through the presentation
>Stifle my laughter for 5 minutes, knowing the impending shit storm that's about to erupt in this class room
>He gets to the end, expecting his regular 'thank you' panel
>Instead the panel is filled with hardcore dude-on-dude, dick-in-ass, man-loving action
>The entire class breaks out into chaos
>1/3 of people are laughing hysterically, 1/3 are visibly and vocally disgusted, 1/3 are cringing in their fucking seats
>I'm a mix of all 3
>His face is red as a tomato, stumbling over his words and trying to explain himself even though he has no idea what the fuck is happening
>Teacher is screaming at him to turn it off
>He unplugs his laptop and bolts out of the classroom
>Is known for the rest of the school year as the spanish class porn guy, even by total strangers

>>74259119

>Teacher hangs up, tells Andy he is wanted in the office.
>ohfuck.png
>Phone rings again, this time it's Paul.
>Me and Mike freak out, expect our names next but nothing happens.
>Andy and Paul don't show up the rest of the class.
>We go home scared out of our minds.
>Age before everyone had a phone and was online all the time. It's Friday have to wait till Monday to find out what's happened.
>Couldn't fucking sleep.
>I get to school on Monday, find Andy and he tells us what's happened.
>Tells me that he and Paul met up with the vice principal who questioned them vaguely.
>Didn't outright accuse them but mentioned video cameras in the hallway and lock picking.
>Told them that if they confess then it'll be a school matter, otherwise if they prove it was them they'll involve the police.
>Andy and Paul don't say anything.
>VP gives them time to think it over.
>I'm freaking the fuck out as I learn this.
>We tell Mike, he's also shitting himself.

cont.

>>74258878
Idk it strikes chord with me, the way no other album of theirs has. And I was kidding man no need to apologize lmao

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>>74258901
Broke up with a girl I really liked in order to impress somebody.

>>74259275
oops, didn't mean to reply
srry bb

>>74258938
I did this too, although more out of spite

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>>74259227
Serves that nerd right

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>>74259227

>>74259235
Almost done.

>>74259286
It's all good.

>We ask Andy what he's gonna do. Says he doesn't know. Doesn't want the police involved, scared over his university acceptance.
>Have to leave school right at last bell to catch bus, the rest stay behind to discuss what to do.
>Come back the next day.
>Andy and Paul are not there.
>Frantically look for Mike.
>He tells me he hasn't met them either.
>Sweating bullets thinking they were expelled or something.
>Think I'm next.
>School day goes normally.
>After school me and Mike decide to go to Andy's house to ask him what's up.
>Go there and find out they he and Paul decided to confess.
>But instead of confessing to stealing the tests from the teacher they said that they had just tried to break into the classroom after school to get the answers for the physics contest we had done some months ago.
>Since the only camera was in the hall they would've been seen trying to get in after school, but never taking the tests after class.

cont.

>>74259227
Oh my fucking god I love it

>>74258672
jesus christ why are you such an asshole

>>74259340
this is suspenseful as FUCK

>>74259147
Asking the real questions

>>74259340
aaaaaaaaaaa

>>74259359
literally nothing wrong with what he did

>>74259431
Uhh

>>74259431
fuck you john

>>74259340

>VC and teacher believed them, have no proof otherwise. There were many tests in the desk so even taking one didn't arouse suspicion.
>They didn't mention anyone else's name.
>The 2 got suspended for a couple days.
>We rejoice our relative success.
>We complete the exam, pass the course with decent marks and move onto the next semester.
>Find out that rumours that the teacher keeps his tests in the desk at the front have spread throughout the school, his current classes are also stealing them.
>He didn't even bother fucking moving them.
>Happening with almost all of the his current students.
>The younger students are a little less refined than we were and the administration finds out what's happening.
>Find out a few weeks later that the teacher was having a job interview in a different field.
>Is apparently being forced out over his ineptitude.
>They still have no proof we started it.
>We get off scot-free.

The end. Feel bad for the guy. He was real nice.

>>74259456
>56▶
>>>74259340
w3oqwowo

>>74259472
what the hell i tried to say "wow"

>>74259441
it turns them on, prove me wrong

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>Called my sister a bitch in front of my grandparents when we were kids.
or
>Ripped a piece of dry skin from one of my classmates' lips in Kindergarten. He cried and I got detention.

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>>74258672
t.

>>74259456
I mean if you think about it, if it wasn't you guys, it would have happened with another group of students. It's more the teacher's fault

I've sneaked photos of a quiz once when I was a degenerate highschooler, but depending on that for an entire class? that's insane lmao

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>got next dimensional wasted and sucked 2 guys dicks while in a committed relationship with someone else

she still doesn't know to this day; shh, don't tell anyone

>>74259494
Uhhhh

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>5th grade, peeing in the bathroom after lunch
>Kindergarten kid in next stall
>Kid yells "OH NO! I GOT THE DIARRHEA!!"
>"CAN YOU GET MY TEACHER TO HELP ME?? :((("
>Pretend to not hear him and leave as fast as possible

I hope he didn't die in there

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>>74259513
if I found out that my gf did this, there would probably be some of this >>74258672 happening soon after if you're catching my drift

>>74259513
Wait are you a man or a woman?

>>74259456
Did you even say your favourite album

>>74259513
why am i jealous

>>74259558
Yeah, right over here:
>>74258415

>>74259544
awww, insecure piece of shit would beat what he probably thinks he owns.

>>74259494
>>74259431
kill yourself

>>74259494

>>74259570
t. cuck
>>74259537
i can tell you're getting hot

>>74259545
man
>>74259566
idk but you really shouldn't be, I live in a lot of regret. this was last year and I've kinda forgotten about it but it still lingers occasionally

also >>74259456 is one of the best reads in a while, this is a great thread

bump af

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>>74259570
nawwww, just am not really into slurping another man's semen out of a cunt, if you're picking up what I'm putting down

>>74259075
did you really DO that though?

>>74258789
Andrew?

>>74259596
Uhhhhhh

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>>74259539
Reminds me of that time my friend told me he was peeing in a pool's bathroom and he forgot to put the lock on the door and he ended up peeing in a kid by accident.

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>Violently cut ties with a friend because I was still not over a three week fling we had months ago.

She was kinda a bitch but I really miss talking to her.

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>>74258284
>fucked someones girlfriend

>>74259567
Shit sorry forgot about that small post after the epic tale that was told afterwards

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cheated on my girlfriend (twice)
the girls I fucked had both their bfs

This wasn't fully me but what the hell

>In Ghetto math class 11th grade
>Sitting next to my friend in the back row
>Friend decides to mess with some dude wearing some nice jordan's (or some other black oriented status shoe in front of us)
>Puts pen in shoe laces so that the tip is facing out forward
>Starts slowly drawing on the back of the kid's shoe in sitting in the desk front of us with the pen sticking out of his shoe
>Laughing in my head
>The kid feels it and sees the pen in my friend's shoe
>He thinks to looks at his shoe and notices the mark
>He asks did you do that?
>Friend says nah that's just where I keep my pens
>Kid disgruntled goes to the bathroom to try and clean it off or something

I was just a witness but felt kind of complicit since I got a kick out of it and all. Something about it was just so perverse and autistic so I thought it was hilarious

>>74259687
u r now wet

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>>74259878
Oh and don't really have a favorite album anymore, but for the longest time it was this

>>74259570
>Cuck my life into pieces

>>74258672
>>74258938
>>74259145
>>74259297
>>74259431
>>74259775
>>74259829
die, scum

>>74259570
t. girl

>>74259986
if it is a girl it's an ugly tumblr girl
4chan is full of those these days for some reason

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>>74258284
>be 8
>on our drive home from indy 500
>6 hours into 11 hour drive
>stop at gas station
>have to shit really bad
>can barely hold it
>literally bout to paint my tidy whiteys brown
>sprint into the bathroom faster than sanic
>its fucking disgusting
>smells like a corpse and the toilet seat has shit smeared on it
>there's no way in hell im sitting on that
>start to panic
>the turtle head is becoming aggressive
>see a little garbage can in the corner next to the filthy shitter
>fuck it
>grab the fucking thing, squat indian style and unleash
>felt good
>i then pissed on the walls and in the sink for good measure
>ran out giggling like a school girl
>hop back in truck and we get back on the road
>giggle about it all the way home
>don't tell anybody for years
>still laugh about it when i think back desu
>tl;dr i shit in a garbage can at some random gas station and pissed on the walls and in the sink, still think its funny
>ive also pissed on the walls and in the sink of other establishments but never shit in a garbage can again
>might do it again sometime :))))))

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I personally don't think it was bad and would still do it again, but I accidentally made effectively my entire Junior year engineering class "cheat" on an exam.

>Professor says we're allowed to make reference sheets to use on exam
>I triple check in-class that anything is allowed on the sheet
>Professor says yes
>Friend has several old exams
>I use these as guides and type worked out examples and theory behind each question
>Don't put my name on the review sheet and give out copies to anyone who wants it
>Test day comes and the exam uses questions from previous years
>Even the order is the same
>Holyshit.jpg
>Even the dumbest students get 100s
>About 75% of the class turn in a copy of my review sheet
>Class average raises 20 points from previous years
>Oops.png
>Professor is convinced everyone cheated when we didn't
>This starts a department-wide cheating investigation
>Dean says test scores can't be changed and no rules were broken
>I experience literally no repercussions other than professor scolding the entire class and saying we should have known better
>Still not sure if the professor even knew I was the person that made the review sheet

It was a tense couple of weeks tbqh.

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>>74260140
Kek

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>>74260140

>>74260140
honorary pajeet

>>74260272
im mexican tho

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>Threw a shoe at my dog
I was like 7-8 but I still should have known better. I still feel incredibly guilty about it to this day

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Killed a man just to watch him die

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Stole $240 off a random guy on the bus to buy heroin and cocaine

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Ghosted my on-again off-again girlfriend even when she faked a pregnancy (seemed real at the time)

>>74260370
whats ghosting?

>>74260404
I completely stopped talking to her and blocked all her methods of communication, funnily enough she still drove to my house and tried getting me back. She had cheated on me several times before though so it was a pretty unhealthy relationship; I would probably do it again if faced with the choice

>>74260441
well that's not bad at all.

>>74259953
i wish

>>74260523
>>74260404
I still feel like shit because at the time I had no idea she was faking, so my intentions and actions were still really bad. Just because an action leads to goodness doesn't necessarily mean that the action itself was good. I can beat up some random guy who just happens to be a criminal who stole some woman's purse, but if I don't know that before then I've still done evil

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Spilt ink on someone's expensive shorts I was sitting next to in class in junior high from a pen I was fucking around in. They never found out it was me.

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>>74258415
>>74258597
>>74258711
>>74258812
>>74258901
>>74259005
>>74259119
>>74259235
>>74259340
>>74259456
great read. I was in a similar cheating scandal, but it was a lot larger, and it spanned almost every subject with my friends, and no teachers were fired. I had an essay writing business and I wrote retards essays for money which I eventually got caught for because I got lazy with one customer and used similar language. I stole tests for Chemistry because the cabinet was always unlocked. for other subjects, I would just take pictures whenever the teacher wasn't looking and send them to my close friends. For Latin, I literally bought the test bank and I would ace tests. for math, I had crazy good memory and would just memorize every question and rewrite tests verbatim. One of my friends found the answer bank to both US and World history so I was set on that for the entire year. We established this tight ass cheating ring so we could convince our one genius friend to share the physics test answers with us because everyone except for like 10 people in the entire grade was bad at it. He would save all his test answers on to his graphing calculator by putting them in the stat edit table thing. I even stole the US history final, stuffed it in my pants, took pictures of it in the bathroom, and came back and I took some asian kids scantron from the pile that was already turned it and I copied it at my desk and then I turned both in. I didn't even have fantastic grades really, I did most of this shit to help out my friends, and I only got caught and suspended for my commercial essay writing stuff, so it could've been a lot worse

As for the worst thing I've done though, I flashed my dick to a girl in kindergarten and one of her bitch friends snitched on me. don't remember why I did it, but it just happened and I got sent to the principles office and my mom continues to make fun of me for it to this day

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>Made a meme account on my school
Police got involved

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Made a little kid cry on GTA Online

>>74260624
>Police got involved
Wat?

>>74260624
Wow you are the illest villain,
mf doom is a pussy.

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>>74260624
>Police got involved

>>74260644
I NEVER MEANT TO BE SO BAD TO YOU

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>>74259456
That was quite the story, glad you guys didn't get in trouble after all

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I was tried to get somebody's girlfriend to take a sleep with in me and I had got his to sex with a the his sister as too

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>classmate's father dies
>a week later waiting for the bus
>he gets annoying and I tell him to fuck off and that his father is a faggot (i forgot he had died)
>complete silence
>friend lowkey reminds me of his dad passing away
the guy was an idiot but i don't think he deserved that

>>74260308
>quebec
mah nigga

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Broke up with someone (in person) and didnt tell them why i was breaking up with them

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Back in elementary school I told this kid I was glad that his sister had died when he got me out in dodgeball

>>74260746
wew lad

>>74258862
no, fuck you. you were a dick, and you got what was coming. don't call people out for calling you out.

>>74260746
How did you manage that? Just refuse to answer when asked why? I'd feel the need to say something, even if it was a lie.

This website has other boards for totally real stories:
>>>/b/
>>>/x/

>>74260674
>>74260649
Wow this is a long one but I got nothing to do so let's go
>Be me
>Junior Year
>Lonely as fuck
>Have the bright idea with my friend to create a meme page about my school in order to become more popular
>Starts off as something that I thought would last a week
>Page starts growing and keep getting requests for posts
>Too scared to come out as the owner of the account (and thank god for that)
>Other friend who didn't know I owned the account has the bright idea to start his own version up
>To avoid some suspicion I help him and post some memes on it
>Have bright idea and tell him to post a meme on an autistic guy who goes to the school
>It was my plan to get his account deleted because normies would get pissed at the meme
>Someone told the vice principal
>Friend deletes account due to backlash
Good think they didn't know who owned the account
>Account is gone and I'm no longer a suspect of the school shitposter
Now here's when the shit started to hit the fan
>Principal plays rap song on school intercom and it's explicit
>Some kid's mom complained about the song
>He later goes on the intercom to apologize about the song
>Account is dying and see this as a way to revive the account
>At the same time I'm trying to learn how to animate
>Use this and create an animation about it
>The account comes back to life and start posting more animations such as how school pizza is made or how the janitors don't do shit in the school
>Some kid spray paints the account's name on the locker room door
>Post an edit of Ed Edd N Eddy where the heads of the characters are replaced with a teachers head whose first name is Ed
>Principal is fed up with the bullshit and calls the police
>The day before this happens I see followers and likes are going down
>Apparently anyone who like or followed the page would get detention
>Go into panic mode because I don't want to get in trouble
>Delete the account and don't show up to school the next day
Cont.

>>74259109
Underrated

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>be me, between 10-12 years old
>at parents friends house for dinner
>they have a kid my age
>he was a nice guy, did nothing wrong to me whatsoever
>I finish my dinner first, everyone else is still eating
>go up to his room, just plan on chilling and waiting for him to finish
>see pokemon yellow
>start it up
>for no fucking reason an evil impulse comes over me and I delete his file
>it had like 80 hours in it
>turn the game off, put it back where it was
>never mention it again

I still have no idea why I did it

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>>74260905
>Police are looking for who were the shitposters (People thought it was multiple people running the account but it was just one)
>The school straight up lied and said the account threatened to shoot up the place
>Emails and phone calls are sent
>A Faculty meeting is held after school
>The police are interrogating students in order to find out the "group" responsible for the account
>My friends tell me the cops said they're going to "hack" into the account in order to find out who made the account
>Think I'm really fucked this time
>Go to school the next Monday and I though I was fucked for good
>However nothing happened to me
>TFW I got to play Vidja all day

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>Been a dick to my friends after they do something very minor to piss me off and cutting them off.
Nothing that bad, but i still feel shitty about it, but I sort of feel like I don't know how to not do it tho.

>>74261020
I forgot to add this but the staff were acting like they found out who made the account and got them in trouble but they didn't want to "reveal the owners"

>>74261029
that's shitty m8, I had a friend like that but I eventually cut her out because the constant drama was way too toxic and draining.

I have sympathy for you though. Idk maybe just try and chill out and not take everything so seriously would be my advice. We only have so much time on this planet I feel like spending it angry of dumb bullshit is one of the worst ways to spend it.

>>74259456
Damn you should become a writer or something

>>74258713
Do not think that way

>>74259109
lol

>>74260318
Kekerino

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>>74259539
Fucking lost
god damnit that's hilarious, I don't know why

>>74260905
Wavell?

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>Got a girl super drunk so I could fuck her even though she has a boyfriend

>>74261020
Damn

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I'm pretty sure I killed my friend's pet duck, I fed the little bastard some beer (seemed to REALLY like it). I poured some in his dish and he just drank up. To be fair, he was gonna die soon anyway, he was living in a garage in the dead of winter, surprised he lasted as long as he did
Then again fuck him, he ate my weed

>>74259544
>>74259570
>>74259596
>>74259879
>>74259655
>>74259939
>>74259986
>>74260040
scummy edgelords

>>74260813
fucking kek

>>74260599
>I flashed my dick to a girl in kindergarten
were you also in kindergarten?

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Threatened a guy I would fuck him when he got drunk. He almost punched me

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>Album
The Ghost of Hope by The Residents
>Worst thing
Stole some guys cv joints while hunting in a remote as fuck block, he tried walking to the nearest town and ended up getting hypothermia during the night.

>>74261648
forgot to mention, he actually died. The land owner (not for the block, different guy he managed to get 20km before it got dark) found him and took him to the hospital, then he died a couple days later, dont know what from. The block owner never knew my name and the nearest speed camera was on the main road. Its been 6 years and nobodies come looking for me.

reading this thread made me realize i'm actually kind of a bastard

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Told the 12 year old girl about the 15 year old guy who was wanking to her pictures.

Wasn't even like an 8/10. Strange kid.

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I've never done bad things.

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Stalking and doxing my friends so that I'd have dirt on them if they ever betrayed me, also stabbed my grandma with a fork when I was a kid.

>>74262048
except post that image

>>74259456
Best story ever.

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bullied young brother for most of his early childhood

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>kindergarten
>no friends
>bond w/ another boy over super mario sunshine
>he is a [big guy] and has as many friends as i do (none)
>be good friends for a few weeks & just talk about games
>two girls approach me at my cubby: "why do you talk to [big guy]? he is fat and he smells funny."
>go into panic mode: "uhh idk haha"
>never speak to him again
>he approaches me and i ignore him completely
>nobody else speaks to him obviously
>a few years later he disappears
>find out that he ended up in the special classes
i always think that if 5-year-old me wasn't an asshole he could have been a normal dude. like if he was just stunted socially and never grasped how to interact with people and started to act out. i don't know though. i don't know where he is / what he is doing now. but i still feel really bad

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got a girl to break up with her boyfriend, then rejected her when she asked me to be hers.

>>74258458
kek

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stolen drugs and money and lied about it

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Smacked a girl in the fucking head with a massive wooden plank at the crayola factory when I was 4

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>Stole Bob Marley - Legend, Pink Floyd - The Wall/DSOTM and Manic Street Preachers - Generation Terrorists CDs from a friend's dad when I was a teen
>Lit a motor bike and an old tree on fire
>Kept a pet leech but didn't feed it
I'm still sad about that leech
But other than this i've always been a good boy

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i have the bad habit of swearing

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Murdered a homophobe.

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Made my lower middle class parents work very hard to pay for my private school education, only to waste it all by dropping out of college.

>>74264426
>that album paired with that "crime"
that's adorable

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After getting fired cause my supervisor showed the manager the text I sent him bitching about how shits being done all wrong, I texted my supervisor "have fun dying alone, coward" because I wanted to hurt his feelings in retaliation for getting me fired, and he complained about no gf a lot so I knew that would really cut deep.

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almost got 3 kids to kill themselves

>>74259539
I did this to a kid once too lol

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>Choked a girl in the first grade, thought she was attacking my friend
>didn't realize it was actually a game

Don't feel bad, not really sure if I did anything wrong about this
>Go to Japan, friend from high school supposed to meet me there
>Staying with Japanese cousins, can't show how much I'm panicking about him coming
>After weekend there, head to Tokyo, make him pay for dinner
>I felt like he owed me for letting him stay with my family
>He doesn't look up anything to do, knows no Japanese, not into weebshit, or even tourist shit
>Come back from shopping, tells me he's going to his dad's friend's house in Fukushima
>Texts me later that night saying that he's not coming back

>slapped my teacher on the ass while in kindergarten

I've probably done a lot of other awful things, but I don't remember/think of them as bad.

>>74259227
sinister as heck

>>74260724
wat

>>74260724
same bro

>>74264491
feels bad man. Why did you do it?

>>74258345
Fuck you you piece of shit

>>74258527
>cant be friends with someone with different interests or personality
why are you so shallow

>>74259235
wait its the age before phones but you take pictures of the test?

>>74263093
Did this twice, fucked the girls and then acted like it was a mistake and all, i hate myself.
Also thats my fav album

>>74258458
Underrated post

I got a teacher fired. She wasn't the nicest so I don't feel guilty.

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>>74265166
fuck it didn't load the album pic.

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Took a huge bribe during the DNC leaks.

>>74260969
Youre the worst kind of person

bump

>>74264911
I was waiting for someone to mention this. It was an early iPod touch.

>>74259431
you're trying too hard

>>74261205
That's a good album.

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>8th grade
>no friends so im sitting alone at a bench waiting for lunch to end
>two girls approach me out of pity to sit with them
>i blow up on them and tell them that i don't need their pity
>one of the girls starts crying

Also
>called the muslim girl a towel head when i was in 10th grade and i got called into the vice principal's office

I regret absolutely none of this.
I can't really think of anything worse I've done since I'm not a degenerate.

>all these peopel putting effort into cheating

loterally why i got all as and bs and literally didnt have to do shit. seems like you put more effort into cheating than it was to do the bare minimum to pass

>>74261600
You should kill yourself.

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>>74263093
Ahh, the classic Sunny in Philadelphia cricket combo.

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Illegally downloaded King Crimson's entire discography

>>74264450
gay

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>>74265721
anon...

>>74259227
Fucking kek

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i think the worst thing i've ever been thru is falling in love with my friend and having him completely dip from my life after having sex with me. so i spread a rumour about him out of spite.

>>74265874
What was the rumour?

>>74260724
Are you having a stroke?

>>74265936

that he had a small dick

>>74265936
>>74265874


i know it's shitty to do, but technically i wasn't lying.

I don't think I've ever liked someone that much. He was the kind of person I'd take a bullet for, and I was SO angry at him for just leaving like that. I think i mostly fucked up though because he was super judgemental of other people, and because of that i had a hard time opening up around him because I was afraid of his judgement.

>>74266049
Eh, that's not too bad.

>>74266049
>>74266074
As long as you weren't lying.

>>74266074

yeah i guess so. I've just been super bitter and jaded since that. It changed me into a bitch.

>>74265513
I realized I made another mistake typing it out. Order is a bit skewed but obviously the physics contest happened after the whole lock picking incident. Sorry about this, I was typing the whole thing up as I went.

>>74266087

nope I wasn't.

>>74258878
haha, you are a funny guy!!!

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Cheated on ex-girlfriend with ex-ex girlfriend for an entire summer.
That by far, fuck. thankfully the ex is in a new, happy relationship

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I've been a goody two-shoes for most of my life, so I can't think too much shitty stuff I've done.

One incident I do remember:
>11th grade, after school play rehearsals
>been crushing on this girl for a while, she's being flirty and joking around with most of the dudes in the cast
>I'm jealous as hell because I'm under the impression she liked this other guy
>other guy, me, and the rest of the cast are talking during downtime, tech is doing something
>he says something that ends with "suck my dick"
>I reply with "don't worry, she'll do it for me" and motion over to the girl
>everyone in the cast is like "whoa shit"

I ended up dating the girl. That was a weird period of my life.

>>74266511
I also tried to fuck a dog when I was 12.

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Didn't visit or talk to my dad who was dying of cancer until 1 week after an operation where he got a tumor removed from his throat, never liked him and still don't regret it, he died 1 month later

>>74261267
S E E T H I N G
W I T H
T E A R S
I N
H I S
E Y E S

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>>74258284
started a forest fire that killed a lot of people and did over a million dollars in damage

>>74266755
e d g y

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I posted pictures of a female friend in a Facebook Fap thread on /b/

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>>74266755
Tell me more.

>>74258284
Nick Cave's kid?

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well I remember one time me and a couple friends were stealing out of people's mailboxes for the fuck of it (it was like 11:30pm) and my friend josh found a letter that was from this old guy to his granddaughter in jail, telling her that he loves her and stuff.. We were having a bonfire back at the house so we just threw it in

also more recently one of my friends died of a seizure, literally the next day me and a friend were making fun of her about how she died

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i fapped to my mum while she was in the shower
fucking hate myself for it

>>74267157
That's fucked up

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Accidently convinced my friend that I died.

>>74261734
same dude
fucking hell

>>74267232
Greentext please

>>74258284
Huh a kid in my high school also fell off a cliff

>>74267232
>>74267318

>studying at uni
>hanging with my two friends, A who is my roommate and P, who lives off campus
>at uni, there is a specific person who emails the student body about the death of a student
>friend P tells me to check my email
> he made a fake email address and send me an email saying I died, including all my info like where I went to high school, my family etc>
mysides.jpg
>all laughing having a good time
>decided to send to another friend of ours
>this friend, S, is a little off but he is a good friend and we like him anyway
>decide to forward the email to him for him to get a laugh

1 hour Later
>get a phone call from another semi-friend M
>crying on the phone to me, cursing me out and threatening to get student life involved
>have no idea what's going on
>gf texts me that everyone is furious with me because they got an email that I died
>the original kid we sent it to ran out of the library crying, told all my other friends I had been killed
>calls his parents to tell them I died
>thinks that we "tricked him" into thinking I died, when all we honestly wanted to do was get a giggle
>feelsbadman.jpg
>other roommates tell us not to stay at our apartment that night
>everybody is furious, and the kid we sent it to doesn't talk to us for 2 weeks, I shit you not

One of the dumbest moments of my life. I understand that we fucked up and shouldn't have sent him the email (even if it was just a joke), but it gotta totally blown out of proportion.

Still feel bad for him tho

>>74267486
Kek, thanks m8

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Transcribed almost every comversation I had with a snobby insane asshole.

And obtained blackmail-worthy information about him

And laughed about the conversations with my friends

What an interesting consciousness /mu/ is both in musical and moral terms.

great thread

>>74267140
>>74266551
jesus

>>74258672
>John Lenon album
Kek

>>74265322
you serious?

>>74265619
Not something bad I did but that reminds me of the time in 8th grade where I was sitting alone at breakfast or something and a group of girls came and sat with me. I hardly talk while they're there and then when I do one of them says "whoa why is your voice so deep?". I had long hair and I didn't have any facial hair yet and I had soft/smooth skin so the entire group of girls thought I was a chick. I'm not even trans or anything, I was just a dude with long hair.

favorite album is ghostface - ironman
i was a pretty awkward kid/teenager as was everyone here

>told a girl that i just met that she was fat and walked away in sophmore year
we still hung for years after that during sophmore to senior year, learnt i cant trust her worth shit because i would tell her one thing and then the whole circle knew.

>my friend and i were going back and forth in middle school lunch with shit like "yo momma" so i said "yo daddy"
>turns out he died
>"LOL" thinking i 1-upped him
>everyones dead silent
it was cool afterwards i apologized years later in high school remembering that.

>told my sister she looked like a whore for making too much makeup
>used to hit my sisters when they annoyed me like start arguments and fight with me over spilt milk

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I once pushed the autistic kid at my school and inadvertently got him kicked out.

It's a long story.

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>threw a watermelon against the head of a 15-year-old Jack Russell the family had with so much strength the watermelon shattered
>the dog growled at me for weeks

Worst thing is that I'm not even black

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accidentally put an old t-shirt used as a cum rag for over 3 months in a charity donation bag

>>74268230
>accidentally

>>74268089
i wanna hear

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Made fun of the kid who had killed himself to his cousin's face during an argument.

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I'm not proud of this

>Be Me around 13-14
>Constantly forced by my older brother to make lunch whenever my parents weren't in
>If i didn't i'd get beaten up or my stuff would get broken.
>Get fed up with it
>Forced to make lunch one day (Instant ramen)
>I proceeded to pee in his portion and watch him eat it after.

Like i said, I'm not proud of this.

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>>74259539

>>74264552
Did you play them your favorite album?

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>>74268230

>>74268502
fucking lol

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>>74268502

>>74264450
Context?

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>nearly killed myself out of spite because a girl i liked was somehow completely oblivious to my feelings while she went out with someone right in front of me
i saw herself recent we both have our own relationships now so i guess we're cool lmao

>>74266755
Explain yourself
Great choice, btw

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>>74268765
>killing yourself because of a bitch

>>74258713
Hello, David.

>>74268246
>>74268089

im super terrible at telling stories/greentext but here it goes

>very start of Grade 10
>Keep hearing announcements in the school about "Code DC"
>for some reasons the teachers shut their doors and we aren't allowed in the halls
>turns out some new autismo from the special room likes to smash computers
>one day code DC announced
>teacher is out of the room doing teacher things like photocopying or sucking the principal's dick
>get up to throw something out
>autismo runs into classroom, face painted with the fury of 1000 suns
>computer_smash.exe
>I'm directly between him and the computer
>kid runs full force into me, doesn't even stick up his hands
>just smashes his torso into mine
>thisisallhappeningsofast
>what the FUCK is going on
>f i g h t o r f l i g h t
>i choose fight
>I shove the kid to the ground after he ran into me
>kid falls down and starts screaming
>tard wranglers burst into the room just as i wind up to punch this strange kid in the temple
>oh_fuck.mp3
>get hauled into the office
>suspended for 2 days
>told i'm lucky cops weren't involved cause blah blah assault
>known for the rest of grade 10 as the kid that beats up tards

Autismo was never seen again. I guess they shipped him off to somewhere new. In my opinion tards that are that much of a threat shouldn't be in fucking highschools. God damn. Still mad.

>>74268296
>>74268977

sorry clicked the wrong post

>>74267788
/mu/ is nice people mostly

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gave an asthmatic kid a swift uppercut, causing him to be hospitalized or some shit.

>>74258284
slick??

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I sexually assaulted my ex. We stayed together for 4 years after but now she can't even look at me

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Beat up a kid with my Karate nun-chucks after he knocked my baby tooth out by squirting me in the face with his water gun.

>>74260321
Album checks out

>>74261193
No, similar story?

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Ruined a womans life

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>girlfriend told me to feed her cats while she was on vacation. I forgot. Killed 5/6 of them

>>74264497
underrated

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jerked off to a girl attempting suicide on a live stream
I was dealing with the recent murder of someone close to me and I was suicidal myself, so I was attracted to seeing a qt enact my suicidal desires; she didn't even know me or that I was watching but I still felt like she understood how I was feeling when nobody else did
It was a hella good wank but I was immediately overcome with shame and disgust at myself, and I've never really forgiven myself
I think she survived, but still
I could've joined in the chat and showed her some compassion, but I was too busy getting myself off

>>74259558
kek

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>>74270877
bro

>>74270877
wtf

>>74270877
haha

>>74258458
you forgot
>i was right about everything

>>74259539
my sides holy shit, i don't know why this striked me as particularly funny

>>74270877
How do you forget to go on vacation with your girlfriend and feed dead cats to her?
And why did you kill them anyway?

>>74259456

Put me in the screencap

>>74258938
are you a girl?

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When I was young, shortly after discovering porn and masturbation, I beat my dick too hard and actually tore the skin connecting the shaft to the head. I was embarrassed about it so I attempted to go to school the next day and pretend my dick wasn't torn, but the wound rubbed against my underwear and the pain was too much to handle. I called my mom for her to come pick me up, but she made me explain to her the problem, and people overheard. Rumors went around the school that my dick had torn, but the rumors were that it had actually torn in half, split down the middle. I had to rub cream on the wound every night.