RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

Just a prompt I need to get out of my head, do with it what you will.
>Anon is a prince to a human kingdom
>his father is friends with Celestia and Luna they know Anon for most of his life
>Father dies somehow leaving Anon as the new king
>Anon has the potential to be a legendary figure but is surrounded by corrupt/incompetent people
>Celestia and Luna have to teach him how to rule effectivly even if it goes against their own morals/beliefs

>>30878032
Nobody wanted it last thread, why would we want it now?

>>30878060
Have to agree. It's just not RGRE specific enough to really fit. RGRE feels like it would just be tacked on in this and play a secondary role to the political intrigue.

>>30878032
>Anon's kingdom splinter due to multiple rebellion plots going off at the same time.
>Anon disappears and It took the diarchs almost all of their self control not to blast people left and right.
>Discord doesn't like their flavor of chaos.
>They cut off contact with the humans because it might drag Equus with it.
>A few decades later reports of a strange biped carrying a hammer is walking around the Everfree, slaying beasts with his hammer and bare hands.
> At the same time Luna is hanging around their old Castle.
>It's been 2 days and she hasn't returned yet.
>They launch a search party.
>They find Luna wrestling with the muscular biped and it looks like their match is been going on a while.
>Oh my Anon turned into a very fine young man.
>And he's seeking a worthy mount to carry him into battle so he can lay waste to his enemies and reclaim his birthright

>>30878073
Also, it would lack the oblivious aspect that is usually key to the comedy of RGRE. If Anon is from a kingdom from the same world, than he would know of Equestria's reverse gender roles to his culture from the start, and they would know of his, so they'd all be acting with this in mind.

>RGRE: 'Get the fuck out of our clubhouse' edition.

>>30878032
Meh.

>>30878082
You can have two vastly different cultures on the same plannet, Anon. Especially on one that's vastly unexplored and has no internet.

>>30878213
I'm not saying that, I'm pointing out that the prompt says that Anon and the sisters have know eachother for all of Anon's life, which means they would all know of eachothers cultures and the gender roles therein by thte start of the story.
Celestia and Luna would know that ANon is basically a mare in behavior, and Anon would understand if they slipped up and treated him like a girl once in a while.

>>30878073
Court drama, romance, and the like are intertwined though.

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>>30878032
File name says it all.

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>Poor Twilight is torn between stopping you from your occasional hunting trip because the woods are no place for a stallion and wanting to join because her trip to EqG left her with a taste for meat.

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>>30878528
I found a thing.

>>30878572
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkQ7o-gWWng

>>30878161
Actually not bad.
>KidAnon has cooties because he's a colt.
>He just wants to make friends with the coolest kids in school, the CMC, who literally have built a catapult once, but they avoid him like the plague.
Kids...

>>30878528
>Twilight sneaks out to Anon's Everfree hut.
>Twilight isn't as stealthy as she would like to believe, but is oblivious.
>Ponies subtly point and giggle, thinking they're knocking boots.
>In reality, they're chowing down on roast manticore, jerked cockatrice, and smoked hydra steak.

>>30878704
>>Ponies subtly point and giggle, thinking they're knocking boots.

They'll probably be right, eventually.

>>30878704
>Eventually she realises she's been busted.
>Not wanting her habit to become public knowledge, she's forced to maintain the charade of being romantically-involved.
>It snowballs as the other Princesses learn that Twilight is dating, and congratulate her.
>It snowballs from there as they enthusiastically intrude.
>Cadence keeps trying to give tips and hint that she may want to "borrow" Anon sometime.
>Celestia is all motherly and proud, though wistful.
>Luna feels ashamed because she has "love at first sight" syndrome over another mare's stallion.
>The lie becomes increasingly complex and hard to maintain...

>>30878572
Uhhhh

>>30878715
Nice

>>30878715
People will REE over mares wanting Anon's dick. Ponies aren't supposed to like Anon.

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>>30878032
>>30878260
Well this has me thinking. If the issue is a lack of culture clash, that can be rectified with some key changes. Not the original prompt writer by the way.

>It had been a month wrought with grief.
>Since the tolling bells echoed through the capital, word spread through hushed whispers.
>The priest had told the butcher's wife, who in turn told her husband; and, chatty as he was, uttered the same to his customers.
>The minstrels, unable to find a place unsomber, put away their merry tunes and sung mournfully.
>Their dirge rolled over the land as a massive, dark cloud, bearing the weight of its news.
>He had passed.
>The man was known to the people as many things, a poet, a wise man, a conquer, a king.
>You knew him as a father.
>Though only eight, you had heard every tale and every one of his feats.
>Even as he laid in his bed, sweat-slicked and stricken with pain, you had still believed him invincible.
>After all, your father had faced down monsters, real monsters, not the ones you fearfully thought to be lurking under your bed.
>But sadly, he did succumb to one unseen and without mercy.
>You reflected on your final moment together.
>Father's large, once firm, hand in yours, his face gentle as he calmly spoke of his life, his regrets, his love, and his hopes for you in a future without him.
>He wanted you to be a better man than he.
>You thought such a thing impossible, for no one was greater, but still you tearfully nodded.
>For the last time, he smiled.
>Your father's words still filled your head, even now, as you awaited the arrival of your godmother.
>She was a dear old friend of the king, though they hadn't seen each other in years.
>A princess, they called her—ruler of Equestria.
>It was a faraway land you had never set foot in, nor laid eyes on its inhabitants.

(cont)

>>30878835
>You knew little of ponies, but your father always told you they were friends to all, for no one dared to make them their enemies.
>Coming from him, that was as good a compliment as one could get.
>Yet you were still struggling to stand still with the rest of the black attired procession.
>The idea of a guardian, a mother, made you uneasy.
>Your mother had sacrificed herself bringing you into the world, and so you had no idea what to expect.
>Not to mention, this princess wasn't even human.
>Your advisors warned that she knew little of this kingdom's customs, only sharing mundane interests if her letters to your father were anything to go by.
>The sound of trumpets filled the air, heralding her arrival; you steeled yourself.
>But whatever may come, you had to be strong, a man—a better one.

Now the conflict would be Anon trying to live by his father's words under the tutelage of a well meaning, but very foreign, Princess Celestia. Why the king chose her, and why their relationship wasn't more properly diplomatic, could be its own subplot. Overall, still not smutty enough and would likely have a conclusion a good chunk of the thread would reee because they lack the emotional maturity not to. So...I dunno. Interesting prompt, Anon.

>>30878822
Maybe as of the last thread or two, but it's only a few people.

The standard RGRE attitude is still "Anon gets all the mares", and seeing as this is the "wish fulfillment general" I don't see that changing anytime soon.

>>30878822
I'm probably the only person who would REE over that, but it's actually just stuff like this:
>Luna feels ashamed because she has "love at first sight" syndrome over another mare's stallion.
It just doesn't make sense to me. Why would Anon's decidedly alien features be gorgeous to ponies? How does he meet their standards of beauty with such a bizarre form? Especially a princess who can have any stallion she wants?
I'm fine with ponies wanting Anon's dick, I just prefer it to be more natural like they get to know him and begin to like his personalty or just better explained instead of blatant wish fulfillment.
Heck, I'd be happy if a mare lusting after Anon is explained as that mare being a xenophile. That'd be more believable than every mare drooling over strange monkey dick.

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>Anon was feeling depressed ever since he got to Equestria since none of the Ponyville residents didn't take a romantic interest in him.
>He decides to see out the rest of Equestria to clear his head.
>Cut to a year later.
>Ponyville is getting ready to greet Anon.
>They've even heard he got himself a gf now.
>Of course, the ground starts to shake with every step.
>Anon is riding on top of a very smug looking Sphinx.

>>30878847
>I don't like thing!
we get it, you bring it up every thread.
maybe this isn't the place for you?

>>30878853
>"Huh! Like you could meet my incredibly high standards, ape man."
>Anon proceeds to answer all of her riddles.
>"Oh no, he's meeting all of my standards!"
>Anon gives her a riddle she doesn't know the answer to.
>She immediately presents.
>"Take me Man-Meat!"
>Anon gets spelunking gear on.

>>30878861
Two threads so far, any mentions before last thread would have been someone else. I'm not a fan of wish fulfillment, sure, but I still enjoy the comedic greens that don't take it too seriously.
Also:
>>30878869
kek.

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I started writing something for you guys

[Room On Fire]

---

[I. What Ever Happened?]

---

{Minuette}

>It's Saturday night.
>Obviously, the most 'hopping' night in Canterlot.
>Always a time for ponies to let loose.
>And as such, you are at the bar with your friends.
>The Lucky Cat is one of the six most popular cider bars on the Canterlot Strip.
>One thing this bar is known for: Its regular crowd of stallions.
>They have a lot of different fruity drinks on the menu.
>And there is live music.
>They feature a lineup of all those cheesy hipster acoustic artists that seem to always draw the stallions in.
>You may not like the music, but you definitely like the crowd of studs it brings in.
>Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts sit on the other side of you at your table.
>Your friends are thirsty, to say the least.
>They had begged you to come here.
>It's hard for them to resist the allure of a crowd of stallions, being longstanding single mares.
>Though you are single yourself, getting laid is not at the top of your list of priorities.
>It's still nice to get out.
>You take a large gulp of your cider and pound the hefty mug back down.
>Looking around, it seems there are a lot of easy-looking stallions here.
>Twinkle and Lemon are currently staring down a young colt hard at the bar.
>They have no sense of shame.
>Maybe it's why they have such bad luck with guys?
>"Minuette," Twinkleshine is practically drooling, staring at the stallion ordering drinks at the bar, "Hey, you should go try to bring that cutie over to our table."
>You look over at the object of your friend's desire.
>He looks like a nerd.
>But he does have a rather big flank.
"Why don't you go talk to him?"
>Twinkle looks a bit nervous, "You know I'm no good at picking up studs. You're the one that's good with words. Come on, please?"

>>30878869
Now I'm just imagining that all of her 'incredibly complex' riddles are primary school trick questions.

>>30878847
>It just doesn't make sense to me. Why would Anon's decidedly alien features be gorgeous to ponies?
I liken the attraction to being exotic in a world more accepting of different races and the sheer masculinity an average man can possess. I personally prefer the idea that anon slowly grows on a mare, going from alien creature to alien husbando.

>>30878881

>With a sigh, you take another drink and pound it back down.
"What would you two do without me?"
>Putting on your trademark smile, you get up from your seat.
>Your friends bump each other's hooves together and pick up their mugs.
>"Go get 'em, Min!"
>Feeling a bit of the liquid courage in your belly, you trot over to the bar and slide in between your target and some old crusty mare.
"Hey, What's goin' on?"
>Ignoring the old mare glaring behind you, you cast your bright smile on the unsuspecting stallion.
>He looks up from pulling some bits out of his coin purse and meets your eyes.
>Ah, your first impression was correct.
>Total nerd.
>He has a bit of a missing patch of fur from some acne near his mouth.
>But he has pretty green eyes.
>This is just Twinkleshine's type.
>He flushes a bit and fumbles his money onto the bar, next to his fruity mixed drink.
>"H-Hey..."
>The smile always does it.
>You reach forward and swipe his bits, tucking them back into his coin purse.
"Young studs shouldn't have to pay for drinks here."
>You use magic to pull some bits from your saddle bag back at your seat and bring them over to the bar, setting them down.
>The bar tender mare gives you a knowing smile and takes your bits.
>"Thanks!" The stallion says in astonishment.
>You can see his tail is raising in excitement.
>Adorable, but you really hope he's not getting his hopes up with you.
"Hey, so now that you have your drink, why not come enjoy it at the table over there with me and my friends?"
>You motion over to your table, where Twinkle and Lemon are sitting.
>They wave a bit too excitedly at the two of you.
>The stallion's eyes widen in understanding.
>Cute little guy probably didn't expect to be picked up when he wandered in tonight.
>"Well, I'm actually here with some friends..."

>>30878886

>Following his gaze, you see two other stallions sitting at a table near the door.
>Of course, their friend here makes his rate jump up from a six, to maybe a seven by comparison.
>Stallions usually make friends with stallions that are uglier than themselves.
>It's just how it works.
>One of his friends could stand to lose about fifty pounds.
>The other is a twig, with a mane and tail in need of serious washing.
>Your smile falters a bit.
>How unlucky.
>Resuming your smile, you brush his leg with a hoof.
"Why not invite them over? We have room, and my friends are really interesting..."
>The stallion gulps and nods, "O-Okay, I'll go get them!"
>With that, he awkwardly shuffles off his stool with his drink and heads over to his friends.
>Wiping your hooves together, you head back to your table with a smug smile.
>Once back, Twinkleshine looks worried.
>"What happened?! He just walked away! What did you say?"
>You sit down and take a drink from your cider.
"Relax. Of course I got him to join us. He's just grabbing his friends. You should be thanking me. Or paying me. Or both."
>Your friends laugh and bump hooves again, "That's our Min!"
>With a sigh, you raise a hoof up to get the attention of a server and order another drink.
>It's kind of sad to see your friends so excited over such slim pickings.
>But it has been a while since they got laid.
>"Min," Lemon dips some of her carrots into hot sauce and shoves them into her mouth, "We should start calling you Stacy! Or shark, you're like a stallion shark!"
>You roll your eyes and drape a leg over the back of your chair.
"It's all in the smile, girls. And a bit of confidence."
>You notice the stallion and his friends have started wandering over.
>It looks like the b-squad is on it's way...
>With a sigh and a bit of regret, you down the rest of your drink.
"Get ready, girls. Here comes the meat."

---

>>30878890

>It's been about an hour since the stallions joined your little party.
>At this point, you have drank a bit too much.
>Probably way too much.
>While Twinkle and Lemon have been completely engrossed in chatting up the three nerd stallions, you have sat back and downed several drinks.
>These stallions are NOT your type.
>Kind of annoying, really.
>But Twinkle and Lemon seem to be having fun.
>Especially Twinkle.
>You see her lean over and whisper something into the ear of the stallion you originally invited over.
>Her hoof is below the table, on his thigh.
>Looks like someone is getting lucky tonight.
"Gotta go drain the tank."
>You get up from the table.
>Your friends are too busy with their prey, they don't notice.
>Heading back to the bathrooms, you can see everything start to sway in your vision.
>Dang, you're pretty drunk.
>Bursting into the mare's room, you walk over and turn on one of the sink faucets.
>Looking into the mirror, you splash some water on your face.
>You hope Twinkleshine doesn't take too much longer sealing the deal.
>The frowning reflection of yourself looks back at you in the mirror.
>You smile wide at yourself, showing all of your pearly whites.
>It's a damn good smile.
>Shutting the water off, you go into a stall and pop a squat.
>Two hours of cider comes out noisily in the toilet.
"Ah..."
>How long has it been since you hooked up with a stallion?
>On the wall, some mare has etched 'call Twilight Velvet for a GOOD time' into the paint.
>Suddenly, you feel like you need a 'good time'.
>Finishing up, you stumble out of the bathroom and back into the 'shark tank'.
>Getting laid is now at the top of your list of priorities.

---

>>30878893

>The music has long since changed from the limp-hooved acoustic stuff, to the more fun dancy stuff.
>It's late and a lot of ponies here are deep into their drinking.
>The real easy stallions are pretty much all that's left.
>You sit at the bar with another mug of cider.
>Are your friends still unaware you left the table?
>Looking back, you see that only Lemon Hearts remains.
>The chubby stallion and the greasy twig are still with her, chatting it up.
>Twinkleshine and the stallion with the pretty eyes are nowhere to be seen.
>Good for her.
>You sigh and look around the bar.
>Holding a hoof to your mouth, you burp.
>Somepony is coming home with you tonight.
>Now which one?
>Your eyes wander over to one of the darker parts of the bar.
>At a table, an odd creature sits alone.
>What the hay is that?
>It looks like some sort of monkey creature.
>He has a mug of cider in front of him and sits with his head down, looking at the table.
>You lean back and wave at the bar tender.
"Hey, what uh, what is that?"
>You point at the creature and the mare follows your hoof.
>"Him? That's a human. Name's Anon, I believe. Comes in here pretty much every day and drinks through almost a whole barrel by himself. Pretty weird looking, huh?"
>You nod and stare at the human.
>Suddenly, he looks up and over to the bar, as if he knew you were talking about him.
>Your eyes meet.
>Well, his eyes meet yours and you try to focus your swaying vision on him.
"He's male, right?"
>The bar tender chuckles, "So he says. I never heard any pony ask him to prove it, thankfully. Are you seriously interested?"
>You hop off your stool and steady yourself.
"I'm feeling exotic. Gimme another cider. Make it two."
>She laughs again and shrugs, "Sure. But this might be your last one. I'm seriously worried about your judgement right now."
>You wait for your drinks, watching the strange creature the whole time.

---

>>30878847
>how does he meet the beauty standards

Same way they meet ours, and the xenophilia part should go without saying. Rather, if you want to make it clear that she's a xenophile without being on the nose about it every step of the way, just don't have other mares besides the one or two central plot characters lusting after monkey dick.

Also, her being a princess who can have any stallion she wants doesn't change much imo. If anything, it strengthens (if you're not squeamish at the idea of a super experienced mare/woman). Think from an RGR perspective, not a traditional female outlook. If she can, she already has. That leaves the weird stuff on her list.

>>30878897

"Hey, whatz goin' ooon?"
>The human looks up from his table to you.
>Why are his eyes so small?
>And mean looking?
>And its nose looks all wrong...
>He glances at the two mugs you are holding up magically.
>His eyes meet yours again and then look back down at the table.
>He mumbles something, but you can't really make it out over the music.
>You set the mugs of cider down on his table.
"Mind if I join you? I'm feeling a little dizzy and need a seat."
>Before he can answer, you squeeze into the booth beside him, forcing him to scoot over.
>You make sure to get your hoof on him a few times as you take a seat.
>This thing is surprisingly big.
>But under those slutty clothes he's wearing, you can feel that he's pretty bony.
"I hear your name's Anon. I'm Minuette."
>You slide one of the mugs of cider over to him and pick up your own.
>He looks down at the mug and mumbles again.
>"Thanks..."
>He looks pretty odd and seems really wishy-washy, but there's something making you want to pick this one to take as your trophy.
>Maybe it's all the booze.
>Maybe it's the exotic feeling.
>No, it's purely sexual.
>This guy is like twice your size and bigger than any stallion you've ever seen.
>He has to be packing.
>You take a drink and sigh, wiping your mouth.
>Leaning closer to the human, you do your smile.
>You know it's really sloppy at this point.
"Hey, I'm jus' gonna be honest with you here... I'm drunk and ready to go. You wanna come back to my place?"
>The human looks shocked.
>You can't make out much with the dim lighting and your blurry vision, but it's obvious he's blushing.
>"Are- Are you serious?"
>You take another drink and shrug.
"As serious as I am horny, I guess. So are we doin' this?"

---

>>30878905

>Once you get back to your place, you pounce.
>The big human is surprised by your magic.
>You use it to push him onto the couch and jump on top.
>Wasting no time, you lock lips with him.
>It feels really weird.
>He has no fur and his ape-like features are definitely not what you're used to.
>As you take control over his mouth, he seems to awkwardly be trying to do something with his hands.
"Here."
>You grab them and place them on your flanks.
>From his flustered reaction, you assume he's a virgin.
"Hey."
>You look down at him, feeling your stomach churning.
>Dang, this thing looks weird...
"You ever been with a mare before?"
>The human flushes and casts his eyes to the side.
>"This is- Yeah... Like, two or three."
>A smile creeps over your face.
>He's obviously lying.
>Reaching down, you place a hoof where his thing must be.
>To your disappointment, his size is not relative to his height.
>Well, hopefully he can at least use it.
"Looks like it's your lucky night."

---

>>30878908

>You wake up to your alarm going off.
"Ugh..."
>Rolling over, you slam your hoof down on it, making it shut up.
>The first thing you notice is the awful taste in the back of your throat.
>Then the splitting headache.
>Then the terrible smell.
"What the hay?"
>You roll onto your back with your head on your pillow and grab your throbbing head.
>What happened last night?
>The last thing you remember was going to the bathroom.
>How did you even get home?
>And what is that smell?
>You groan again and cough.
>Damn, your ass is sore.
>Wait- now you recognize that smell.
>Sex.
>A weak smile creeps over your face.
>You got lucky last night, huh?
>Pulling up the covers, you look down at your sheets.
>They are a mess and smelling pretty musky.
>It's been a long time since you've had a black-out rut.
>Where is the stallion?
>You sit up on your bed and look around the room.
>There are a few empty cider bottles on the end of your bed.
>Looks like a pretty good night.
>What happened to Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts?
>Suddenly, the bathroom door creeps open.
>A male voice comes from within the bathroom.
>"Hey, do you have any extra toilet paper?"
>Whoever it is, their voice is pretty deep.
>Your butt may be sore, but you could go for some morning leftovers.
>A strange creature pokes its head out from your bathroom.
>You scream and draw your blankets up defensively.
>The creature gives you a confused look.
>"Toilet paper?"

---

>>30878910

>This thing is ugly.
>Like, horrifyingly ugly.
>What even is it?
>It looks like a huge monkey thing.
>After he finishes in your bathroom, he walks out to the foot of your bed.
>He's just staring at you with those beady eyes.
>As you stare and start to hyperventilate, the creature begins to root through your clothes on the ground.
>"Have you seen my pants?"
>What is it doing in your house?
>Why-
>Oh, Celestia...
>Your stomach drops.
>Did you actually sleep with this thing last night?
>Suddenly, you lean over the side of your bed and vomit.
>Your sick coats the rug below your bed.
>"Are you okay?!"
>You close your eyes and wipe your mouth, not wanting to look at the creature.
>"Are you still drunk?"
>You wish.
>Throwing the covers aside, you hop out of bed and rush to your bathroom.
>You close and lock the door behind you.
>The first thing you do is inspect your groin.
>It looks normal.
>Was that thing actually inside you?
>You turn your backside to the mirror and look at your butt.
>There are marks shaped like that thing's paws.
>It really went to town on your ass...
>Feeling sick, you turn on the shower to full blast and jump in.
>You stand in the ice-cold water, shivering.
>But not from the temperature.
>The creature knocks on the door.
"Go away... Just, go away..."
>"Hey," His voice is barely audible over the shower spray.
>"I'm gonna take off, I guess..."
>He sounds a bit sad, but you feel no sympathy.
>"I guess I'll send you a letter, or something? B-Bye."

---

>>30878913

>After a long cold shower, you threw up again and drank a large glass of water.
>There is no way you can eat anything right now.
>It would only come right back up.
>Your crotch stings from how hard you scrubbed it in the shower.
>What a horrible mistake...
>There is a knock on the front door.
>Is that thing back?
>Quickly, you slink over to the window and peer out.
>Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts are standing outside your door.
>Thank goodness.
>With a deep breath, you open the door and stare hollowly out at your friends.
"Okay, what. Happened. Last night?"
>The two look at each other-
>Then break into hysterical laughter.
>"Bahahaha! Are you okay?!" Lemon Hearts places a hoof on you.
>You groan and shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut.
"Just tell me what happened."
>The two can barely contain their giggles.
>"Well..." Lemon Hearts chokes out, "After Twinkle left with that stallion, I noticed you were gone. Then I finally saw you. At the back of the bar. With-"
>You slap a hoof over your face.
"A freaky-looking ape creature. I know. Why did you let me leave with that... That THING?!"
>Your two friends try to suppress their laughter.
>"I tried to stop you outside the bar! But you just told me you were 'going to eat exotic' or something."
>Now the two burst into laughter again.
"What a mess..."
>Twinkleshine stops laughing long enough to take a deep breath.
>"So- So how was, eating exotic? HAHAHA!"
>You slam the door on your friends.
>They are still laughing outside.
>Returning to your bedroom, you start peeling the sheets and blankets off of your bed.
"I don't want to be reminded..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DAeR-OyabY

---

>>30878916

[II. Reptilia]

---

{Anonymous}

>"You're in a strange part of our town."
>You look up at the stallion who has spoken to you.
>This is the first time you have seen this bar tender here.
>He must be new, seeing as you come into The Lucky Cat every day.
"What do you mean?"
>He throws a rag over his back and tilts his head with a weak smile, "I mean, this is a well known pick-up bar. And well, you don't seem to be here for... That."
>You can see his eyes scanning your face.
>It doesn't even bother you anymore.
>You've been here long enough to have become numb to the looks ponies give you.
"Yeah. Can I get a mug of cider?"
>He taps the bar, "If you got the bits, I got the booze."
>Of course he doesn't think you have the money.
>You reach into your pocket, then slap four bits down on the bar with a bit too much force.
>The stallion flinches slightly, then quickly scoops the money up.
>He leaves to pour your drink.
>You just want him to hurry so you can go to your table at the back of the place.
>Standing at the bar only draws looks from ponies.
>You tap your foot impatiently and finally, the stallion brings your drink.
>He leaves again as soon as he sets it down.
>Ass.
>You take your mug and quickly head for your usual table.
>The one that doesn't have any lights near it.
>Taking a seat, you have a big gulp of your cider.
>Pony land booze is so weak.
>You have to drink almost a whole barrel of this sweet shit to feel anything.
>And it's not like your tolerance is high.
>Well, maybe it is now...
>All you do anymore is drink.
>If you're not working at your construction job, you're here.
>Drinking.
>What even was that last night?
>It was like a dream.
>Last night, you actually got laid.

>>30878918

>What happened last night was what you had foolishly believed would happen when you first arrived in Equestria.
>Before you knew the way things really worked, you had assumed you would be getting laid left and right.
>A bunch of cute ponies, most of them mares?
>Weird flipped gender roles, where the females were the sexually dominant ones?
>And you, a big exotic human male?
>It was a recipe for your dick to be wet every night.
>At least, that's what you thought.
>Turns out: ponies find you incredibly ugly.
>Repulsive, in most cases.
>It was hard enough finding a place to work.
>Out of pity, some construction company had taken you on.
>But the only thing you really do there is dig holes.
>It's taken a lot of time and a LOT of alcohol, but you have learned to ignore their looks of shock.
>Looks of disgust.
>Had plenty of practice with that back on Earth as well...
>But what happened last night was simply crazy to you.
>No mare had ever hit on you.
>No mare had ever even offered you a drink.
>What was up with that Minuette pony?
>Well, she was pretty damn drunk.
>The look she gave you this morning comes to mind.
>A usual look of disgust.
>She even threw up.
>Then to make the sting worse, she locked herself in her bathroom until you left.
>Taking a sip of cider, you sigh.
>At least you got laid.
>Finally.
>Somewhere deep down, you always knew you would lose your virginity to a very drunk girl.
>Or a prostitute.
>She was a really cute pony though.
>Nice smile.
>No chance she will ever return to this bar though.

---

>>30878921

>You knock on the door.
>Under your left arm, you hold six bottles of cider.
>Hopefully, she's not at work or something.
>A flash of movement catches your eye.
>You can see a bit of blue and white pass by the window.
>The curtains move, but Minuette doesn't answer the door.
>You knock again.
"Hey, Minuette! It's me, Anon!"
>"Go away!" Her voice comes muffled through the door.
>You sigh and adjust the cider under your arm.
"I just wanted to come talk."
>That's a lie.
>The door creaks open and you see her look out with one eye.
>"Please just leave. I'm very busy."
>Though she says that, she doesn't close the door.
"I brought cider."
>You can hear her sigh.
>She opens the door all the way and stares at you uncomfortably.
>"Look, I know we did... Stuff last night. But I was drunk. Very, VERY drunk. I apologize if you feel like we have uh, something between us now. But, we don't. We really don't."
>You smile and stare at her without a word.
>For a long time now, you've realized how to force a pony to speak.
>Just smile at them until they become uncomfortable.
>Minuette looks away from your smile and droops her ears.
>"It was a mistake... I don't- I don't even know your name. I don't even know what you ARE!"
>Holding out a bottle of cider to her, you clear your throat.
"My name is Anon. I'm a human."
>Minuette looks up at the bottle, then back at you with a flat expression.
>"You want to get me drunk again, don't you?"
>You laugh.
"No! I just figured the best way to beat a hangover is to drink it off."
>Minuette looks to be having an internal fight.
>She looks around outside, then holds the door open wider for you.
>"Okay, come in. Buck, hurry up!"

---

>>30878925

>Minuette sits on her couch with you.
>She is sitting as far from you as possible.
>But to your relief, she's drinking a bottle of the cider you brought.
>She's drinking it fast.
>You lean back into the couch and nurse a bottle yourself.
>This is where the magic all started...
>In the middle of the couch, you can see a wet spot from where Minuette has scrubbed away the stain from your first climax.
>"So, you need to tell me some things."
>You look over at the blue pony.
>It would be really nice if she smiled that amazing smile again.
>Or put those lips around you like last night...
>"Last night, at-at the bar... How did you get me to take you back here?"
>You raise an eyebrow.
"You picked me up. You came over to my table and gave me a drink. Then you said you were horny and invited me back to your place."
>Minuette slaps a hoof to her forehead in embarrassment.
>"Oh, Celestia..."
"On the way here, you told me that you were really into exotic guys."
>She looks up with a frown and sighs.
>"Yeah, listen. I was drunk. When I get drunk, I can say some pretty crazy things. I have a blood condition, a-and I can't really control myself when I drink, so you shouldn't take any of that ser-"
>You hold up a finger and silence her.
"Don't worry. I completely understand."
>This surprises her.
>She probably expected you to put up a resistance.
>You lean back and take a large drink.
"I know how much you ponies are disgusted by me. I probably look like a weird reptilian alien to you, or something."
>Silence fills the room and you take another drink.
"I know I'm ugly."
>Minuette doesn't say anything to that and takes another long drink.
>The two of you sit, staring at your laps.
>"So..."
>You look back over at her.
>She looks at her bottle uncomfortably.
>It almost looks like she's going to gag for a second, but she swallows it down.
>"What all... What all did we d-do?"

---

And that's all I have so far

>>30878900
>Same way they meet ours
They meet ours because they were specifically designed by the creators to tick off all categories of the cuteness list, and it's a sexual kink developed culturally as well as amplified in many bronies over time and cultivated by the fandom through exposure to clop material.
These are not advantages a human would have entering Equestria for the first time.

I agree with the xenophilia bit. I'd prefer if not literally every mare n a story lusted after Anon and instead only the open minded and kinky did.

And I suppose, if a story at least made a point of mentioning a taste for the new and exotic in the ancient princesses as their motives for wanting Anon, that'd make the story more believable to me.

>>30878931
Interesting read, would like to see more if you can spare the time to work on this. Keep up the good work and have a great day.

>>30878931
sad story is sad

>>30878921
Shit, I missed the part that goes after this:

>You walk down the street with your hands in your pockets.
>That stallion's words come to mind.
>'You're in a strange part of our town'.
>No, you're in a strange part of this world.
>Ponies walking down the street do their best to walk a large distance away from you.
>You just want to go to the park or something.
>It's only three, but you're already pretty buzzed.
>You don't really feel like returning 'home'.
>Home is a very run-down motel, not far from The Lucky Cat.
>Houses are expensive in Canterlot.
>And not many ponies want to rent out someplace to you.
>Your construction job doesn't really pay that well.
>Damn, you really wish you could just see Minuette again.
>That was one kinky little pony.
>You feel a tightening in your pants as you remember how much she squealed when you paddled her tight little butt.
>It doesn't really matter if anyone sees you actively sporting an erection while walking down the street.
>You don't care anymore.
>If you don't do something about this though...
>Sex was all you dreamed it would be, and more.
>It didn't matter that your partner was black-out drunk and smelled like cider.
>You painted her insides white after just four thrusts, then did it again after a few more drinks.
>It's not an option anymore, you NEED to find Minuette again.
>Stopping in to a nearby cider shop, you pick up several bottles of cheap booze and head for Minuette's house.
>The thought of sex has taken complete control.
>If she's disgusted by you, well- you hope a healthy amount of liquor can appease that.
>It worked once already.

---

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>>30878869
>Anon gets spelunking gear on.

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>>30878869

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>>30878881
The Strokes, really my dude.

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>>30878853
>>30878869
What's her name /mlp/? I'm pretty sure they didn't give her one, or am I just forgetting?

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>>30878981
I feel this album really fits
And I quite enjoy it, my dude

>>30878989
I don't think they have, since derpibooru just labels her has sphinx.

>All the mares start subconciously puffing up their tufts whenever they see her.

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>>30878989
>Riddle Methis

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>>30878993
If you're gonna go as far as name the chapters after their songs, can you write lyrics of theirs into the story somehow.

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>>30879005
The first words of the second chapter are lyrics from 'Reptilia', my dude
Also, the last words of the first chapter are lyrics from 'What Ever Happened', the title of that chapter

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>>30879010
Yeah I just noticed, I'm fucking stupid. Forgive me write friend, keep it up.
>Modern Age is best Strokes Song

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>>30878847
>Why would Anon's decidedly alien features be gorgeous to ponies?
Same reason any one of us would kill a baby seal with naught but a plastic KFC spork to land our pone waifu.

>>30878931
>>30878956
A little rapey on Anon's part with the cider, but I like where this is going. Potential for some friendship leading to love on a deep emotional level where Minuette begins to be able to see past Anon's hideous exterior to the guy underneath.
Then, though he may not have Superior Human Stamina! he'll blow her mind with an eagerness to please stallions rarely have and Superior Human Foreplay!
Well, superior to any pony save unicorns. Tactile telekinesis trumps fingers, after all.

>>30878847
Luna is the princess of space, of course she's a xenophile.

>>30878932
>They meet ours because they were specifically designed by the creators to tick off all categories of the cuteness list,
They're canonically depicted as having a mildly asymetrical mirror to our own society and people.
Thus, it would follow that if they're "designed" to tick off cuteness-list checkmarks, we do the same for them.
> it's a sexual kink developed culturally as well as amplified
Being in a world with males in woefully short supply, they'd be FAR more inclined to sexually objectify anything they found even a little bit cute/attractive/male.
TL;DR~ The show mirrors the real world well enough that anything that goes for us goes for them in their own way. If pones do it for some guys here, then we'd do it for twice the percentage female population over there.

>>30879035
Yeah, Anon is an autistic creeper. Kek. I can honestly seeing myself doing something like this as a younger me getting picked up by a hottie at a bar and laid for the first time though 2beehonestfaam.

>>30878932
The Kinky Mare
>Stone Throw and Blue Cheese are sitting at the bar, scoping out the night's prospects, when Blue stiffens and points.
>"Wow, get a look at that hunk of stallion. Mmm, Momma like."
>Stone Throw's gaze whips around as she begins to search for the stallion, frustrated when she sees only mares and a tall, freaky thing.
Maneuvering her head around, she asks, "Where? Is it behind the spaghetti monster? I can't see him."
>"Spaghetti-" Blue scrunches her muzzle, before swatting her friend. "He is not a spaghetti monster! He is a tall drink of water, that's what he is."
"Wha-? Are you serious, again!?"
>"What?"
"This is just like the gryphon guy."
>"What about Tom?"
"Gee, I don't know, maybe the fact that you had to get fifty-two stitches after he raked up your plot. Oh, and let's not forget the minotuar."
>"Hey, that was one of the best lays I've ever had."
"Yeah, I know because you kept me up all night, and then I had to take your shift in the morning because your back legs didn't work."
>Blue flusters for a moment before glaring.
>"Okay, whatever, but I don't see what that has to do with that cutie over there."
"Really? Because he looks like he'll land you in the hospital."
>"Oh, no he won't, he's a stallion."
"You know what, fine, go bed him, see if I care," Stone says, throwing her hooves up. "But when you got freaky spaghetti babies bursting out of your chest in the morning, don't come crying to me."
>Blue sniffs, "I will, you prude. Enjoy your normie stallions while I go get my world rocked."
Stone grumbles, "Oh, I'll rock you all right. Rock you right upside the head." Sipping her drank, she adds. "Acquired taste my flank."

>>30879067
>"Acquired taste my flank."
heh

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>>30878931

More drunk Minuette

[III. Automatic Stop]

---

{Minuette}

>It's Saturday night.
>Again.
>And once again, you are at a bar with Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts.
>To your friend's disappointment, you refused to go to The Lucky Cat.
>You sit at the bar in Moon Swill Grill.
>It's a fancier bar.
>The only reason you're here is to once again play wing-mare.
>Turns out that stallion Twinkleshine took home was looking for something Twinkleshine didn't want.
>A serious relationship.
>The guy actually started talking about having foals after they did the deed.
>A great way to make Twinkleshine nope right out of there.
>Twinkleshine sighs and taps the rim of her maretini, "Why don't stallions ever just want a good rut? With no strings attached?"
>Lemon Hearts nudges Twinkle's side, "Hey, Min got that last weekend. Why don't you ask her what the secret is?"
>The two start laughing.
>You roll your eyes and shiver.
>When that human told you all of the things the two of you did together, you felt the bile rise in your throat.
"Yeah, yeah. Yuk it up. We'll see just who goes home alone tonight."
>Twinkle grips your leg, "Aw, come on! We're just joking, Min. You're gonna look after us, right?"
>She bats her eyes at you.
>These two really are hopeless.
>You pick up your drink and give her a frown.
"Better pick some meat quick, I might drink too much."
>The two mares start looking around.
>Not much to choose from here.
>A lot of couples are in this bar tonight.
>"Minuette!"
>Your stomach does a flip and you cringe.
>That voice...
>Turning, you see Anon walking through the door of the bar.
>"Hey, Minuette!"
>Not only can you feel your friends grinning at the back of your head, you can feel all of the ponies in the place staring at either you or the human.

>>30879253

>After what seems like multiple painful eons, the human comes to a stop next to your stool, staring at you.
>You look around at all the staring ponies, then lean closer to him.
>Forcing a smile, you hiss between your teeth.
"What do you think you're doing?!"
>He smiles that weird crooked smile, "I was just on my way to The Lucky Cat and I saw you in here through the window."
>Are you going to have to move to Ponyville or something?
"Okay. Cool. You can head to The Lucky Cat now."
>Anon seems disappointed and holds up his hands.
>It makes you flinch.
>What those hands did to your ass...
>"Would it be alright if I had a drink with you? Just one."
>You look back at your friends.
>They are on the edge of bursting out with laughter.
"I'm out with my friends, I-"
>You hop off your stool and wrap some magic around the human's hand, pulling him toward the door.
"Come on."
>The two of you head out of the bar.
>You can feel the stares of strangers all the way out.
>Once out on the sidewalk, you let him go and glare up at him.
"I thought I said we shouldn't see each other anymore? Like, at all?"
>Anon rubs the back of his head, "One drink can't hurt, right? I'll leave after that."
>You groan and rub your forehead.
>He's sprung.
"Listen, I'm flattered- really... But, can't you give this a break?"
>Anon stares at you, his face dead-set, "I'm not gonna give it a break."
>You glare at him again.
"Well that's too ba-"
>He brings a hand to his forehead and speaks over you.
>"I can't give it a break because- I think I love you, Minuette."

>>30879257

>You stand with your mouth open, staring at the human.
>Oh no...
>"I know you don't feel the same. I know you probably hate me, but I can't help the fact that I love you. And maybe you were drunk that night, but I really think that we shared a connection on your bed."
>You close your eyes and shake your head.
>A shiver works its way through your body.
"Stop. Just stop!"
>The human continues, "I know you don't want to think about that night. But it's ALL I can think about! I don't want to forget that, and I hope- I hope we can at least be friends..."
>Your eyes are still shut.
>Is this guy serious?
"Listen,"
>Now you open your eyes and give him the most serious look you can manage.
"I'm not your friend. I never was."
>This seems to hurt him.
>His eyes take on a hollow look.
>Honestly, you feel like crap for saying that.
>But it's the only way you're going to get this guy to leave you alone.
"You don't love me. You're just attached because I was your first. It's like that a lot of times, trust me."
>He looks down at the sidewalk.
"It's just a phase. It's got to pass. Move on and forget about me. I'm sure there's someone out there for you. Plenty of fish in the sea, right?"
>The human doesn't say anything.
>He just keeps staring down at the ground.
"I'm going back inside now. Please don't follow me."
>He nods, but doesn't move.
>With a sigh, you leave him and open the door to the bar.
"H-Have a good night."

---

>>30879260

{Anonymous}

>Back at The Lucky Cat again.
>You sit at your usual table.
>What a night.
>You feel so embarrassed about all that shit you said to Minuette.
>Could she tell you were drunk?
>After you got to The Lucky Cat, you just ordered coffee.
>Three cups later, and now you're feeling pretty sober.
>Honestly, you should be drinking this misery away right now.
>But you know that if you get drunk again, you'll head straight back to Moon Swill Grill again.
"Fuck..."
>"Refill, honey?"
>You look up and see your usual server.
>She's a younger mare with a short mane.
>You think she's a lesbian.
>But she's always nice to you.
>She holds up a decanter with coffee in it.
>You nod and hold up your cup.
"Thank you."
>The mare fills your cup and gives you a genuine smile.
>"No problem, hun. You tell me if you need anything else."
>She walks away.
>You watch her ass as she walks away.
>Why did she have to be a lesbian?
>With a sigh, you blow on your steaming coffee.
>That's no way to think about one of the only ponies ever really nice to you.
>You can't help being horny though.
"Fuck..."
>"Wanna?"
>You flinch and look up quickly.
>Minuette is sitting at your table, opposite you.
>She smiles at you, her face flushed.
>Her eyes are half-lidded.
>She's absolutely drunk again.

---

>>30879265

>The two of you are standing outside The Lucky Cat.
"Where are your friends?"
>Minuette shifts her weight and tries to focus on you.
>"They left with some stallions. Forget them, you know? F-Forget those whorses!"
>She seems a little more drunk than she was last time.
"What made you change your mind?"
>She gives the space beside your head a curious look.
>"Uhuh?"
"Well, you said you didn't want to see me. Why did you come back?"
>Minuette smiles mischievously and lifts a hoof.
>She pokes your crotch clumsily.
>"Ya'see, when I get drunk, I can't help myself around the exotic boys, heheh."
>You step back a little and smile happily.
>"Maybe I'm jus' weird... But I don't think I'm really interested in stallions anymore, yaknow?"
>If she were sober, she would never say that.
>But it's a win for you.
>"I was really scared of you at first, but then... Yeah, I got a different view, I guess."
>Her hoof drifts over again and runs down your thigh.
>"You may not be a model, but I liked what you did to me last time. I wanna do that again."
>Her eyes are barely open.
>You feel a reaction in your pants and look around.
"Do you... Want to go back to your place?"
>She steps over and leans against your leg.
>"Can we go to yours?"
>Your place?
"It's kind of small..."
>Minuette nips at your pants playfully and giggle.
>"I'm kinda small~."
>She stumbles a bit and you catch her.
>Without thinking, you pick her up.
>You take the pony into your arms on her back.
>Her eyes widen in fear for a bit, then she giggles.
>"I like this! Carry me home!"

---

>>30879268

{Minuette}

>When you open your eyes, you see something you are not familiar with.
>A lamp that you've never seen.
>Something is poking you in the side.
>Arching up and looking down, you see there's a spring poking up through this mattress you've never seen before.
"Where am I?"
>Looking behind you quickly, you see a large lumpy form under the blankets.
>Oh no...
>Pulling the blankets back a bit, you see the top of Anon's head.
"Are you kidding me?"
>You groan and bring your hooves to your face.
>Again?
>Not only had you slept with the human again, but your head feels like it was sent through a storm cloud.
>You get up out of the human's bed and stumble over his pile of clothes.
>The bathroom is visible through an open door.
>Going to it, you close yourself inside.
>Under the dim light, you look at yourself in the mirror.
>What's the last thing you remember?
>You remember your friends leaving and feeling pissed off.
>What you really felt was guilty for your harsh words to Anon...
>And then you drank a lot.
>And then...
"I went back to The Lucky Cat."
>You remember going to the bar and hitting on Anon.
"Oh, Celestia..."
>You remember laying under the weird looking human as he pulled off his pants.
>Without warning, vomit forces it's way up your throat.
>Before you make a mess, you lean over the toilet and let it feel your wrath.
>'I want this, Anon.'
>What the hay was wrong with you?
>You flush and wipe your mouth.
"My ass hurts..."

---

>>30879273

{Anonymous}

>Your eyes open.
>The sight of cracking wall paint greets you.
>And the smell of sex.
>A smile comes to your face.
>Your hands hurt from slapping.
>Your pelvis hurts from being rode.
>All in all, a good way to start the day.
>A sound makes you jump a bit.
>From the bathroom, you can hear the sound of someone throwing up.
>Minuette.
>You don't move.
>The sound of the toilet flushing, then the sink running reaches you.
>She's talking to herself, but you can't understand what she says.
>Hoof steps make their way back into your room.
>You stay pretending to be asleep.
>The sound of Minuette gagging almost makes you sit up.
>Then the door to your motel room opens.
>And closes.
>You stare at the cracking wall paint.

---

>>30879275
https://youtu.be/6gwbXjHNcwA

>>30878989

Pussy Galore

>>30879268
Wow, I need to calm down with posting, I missed a part again sorry:

>Minuette makes a cooing noise underneath you.
>You have to hold your weight up, so you don't crush her.
>As she squeezes her eyes shut, you trail kisses up her neck,
>For some reason, you take the time to tell yourself that Minuette is actually on your bed.
>It's a small bed, with spring issues- but she doesn't seem to mind.
>She whispers into your ear as you move down lower on her neck.
>"That feels... So weird."
>You stop and look up at her.
"Do you not like that?"
>She shakes her head and smiles, her eyes still closed.
>"That's WHY I like it. Keep going."
>Obliging, you dip your head back down and start nibbling on her collar bone.
>"Oh! Are you gonna eat me?!"
>You can't tell if she's joking or genuinely scared, so you stop nibbling.
>Instead, you bring your hands down and start to remove your pants.
"Hey, Minuette?"
>"Hmm?" Her eyes are still closed and her hooves are lazily exploring your stomach.
"Are you sure this is okay?"
>Even though you say this, you pull down your pants and underwear at the same time, letting your erection spring out.
>Minuette finally opens her eyes and looks down at your cock.
>Her eyes seem to twinkle and she smiles that bright smile.
>"Am I sure?"
>Pushing you back, she gets up and flips around, presenting her ass to you.
>"I may be drunk, but believe me- I want this, Anon. You can trust me BECAUSE I'm drunk. If I were sober, I would never tell you how much I want you to punish this little mare's cheeks."
>If she were sober, she wouldn't be here.
>Somewhere in the back of your mind, you feel guilty.
>But here is Minuette, in your bed and waving her ass at you with her tail flipped over her back.
>You place your hands on her cutie marks and she arches her back.
>"Give it to me! Gimme the hands!"
>You pull back, then bring a hand down hard on her cheek, filling the room with a slapping sound and her loud shriek.
>"I love those hands! P-Put it in!"

---

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>Here you Anon
>Lonely on Earth, lonely in Equestria too
>Getting drunk on a thursday night in your apartment
>You had to work in the morning but you'd just call in
>Mayor Mare didn't need her secretary
>You pour another glass of whiskey
>Two years, two fucking years and not a single mare had done so much as talk to you
>It was about face, frame, and height
>Even across universes
>You finish off the bottle and grab another for some late-night drinking on the go
>Clutching a jug of whiskey, you leave your front door wide open and start walking
>Not like you had any valuables to lose
>You remember this one girl who stopped talking to you entirely because of your height and it broke your stupid heart
>You bang heavily on a nearby door
>A tired mare opens it cautiously and looks at you
>"Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Fuck you, I'm not short."
>"What?"
>You start to walk off
>"Are you okay?"
>You finish the bottle and drop it
>The tired pony watches from a distance as you gingerly lay down in the grass and pass out
>You wake up the next morning thoroughly baked under the sun
>A small basket of strawberries is next to you with a note
>It reads:
Not sure why you came here to vent, but it's obvious you're going through something. Take a day to enjoy what you /do/ have, not what you don't.
>With a crude drawing of a happy pony
>You roll over and walk home with the strawberries

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>>30879420
>"Fuck you, I'm not short."

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>>30878989
Just Sphinx, I think.

That part of the episode seemed pretty rgre.
I wonder what she does to the colts she abducts.

>>30879487
She shows them the cave of wonders.

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>>30879257
>>"I can't give it a break because- I think I love you, Minuette."
Oh for fuck's sake.
I can't decide to laugh or cry.

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>>30879275
Cry it is then.
Don't stop, I'm invested now.

>You are Anon, and you wish you weren't the hottest thing to these dwarf horses.
>Can't go anywhere without being hit on.
>Freaky bug eyed horse faced weirdoes.
>Neon green on blazing orange is not a good color, dear lord these ponies are ugly.
>Too bad you lost a bet.
>"Come on you sexy stud. Quit stalling."
"Not until I am shit-faced drunk. I want to blackout while we do this. Hopefully I will forget this ever happened."

>>30879781
>pones arent hot as fuck

ree

>>30879819
Not everyone wants to fuck a little horse.

>>30879260
>"I can't give it a break because- I think I love you, Minuette."
Aaaand I'm out.

>>30879273
>>You remember laying under the weird looking human as he pulled off his pants.
>>Without warning, vomit forces it's way up your throat.
Now that very logic. Not like stupid (blush face, Get laid) when think about Alien-Dick.

>>30878932
They wouldn't have all of the same advantages, but humans are super neotenized by primate standards. Sharing some very fundamental body language like smiling and frowning goes a long way too; nothing to sneeze at really. The other thing is, human creators made them appealing for other humans. A good example are the quasi-forward facing eyes and smaller snouts. You might be thinking: "so?". But it's a two way street. Those aspects of themselves will be subconsciously seen when they gaze upon us, humans.

I don't think they'll want the hmd because of this, at least not directly. A human might be cute in a platonic way or ponies warm up to him as a familiar thing fast, despite some other body language bits that don't translate. From there, you would have something like non-clopper bronies, hah, and their view of ponies. A cute character that acts and, probably (hello, language barrier stories), sounds like a stallion. Or at least a janefilly stallion, culture clash and all.

>>30879838
I have to agreed with him.

>Anon was feeling depressed ever since he got to Equestria
>Anon feel helpless in life like a child who is scared and has lost its mother - just so terrified.
>So scared, so lost, so unmotivated, His mind can't handle it all.

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>read green
>Anon isn't a slut for anything with a vaguely horse looking pussy

>>30879950
Zebra when? Cmon guy, think about it.

>White girl and Black guy
>Stallion and Zebra

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>>30879965

>not a zebra mare seducing virgin stallions with her Big Striped Flank

>>30878847
>It just doesn't make sense to me. Why would a ponies' decidedly alien features be gorgeous to Anon? How does she meet his standards of beauty with such a bizarre form?
HMMMMM.....

>>30879950
It was a lust even this alien could not beat,
The allure of a superior zebra's large teat.

>>30879950
Zebras are out, Sphinxes are in. I want an ass that can completely smother me.

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>>30880131

BIG
EQUESTRIAN
FLANKS

HOW CAN HUMAN BITCHES EVEN COMPETE?

>>30880144
Trips demand it. Do it now. Lick dat ponut.

>>30880144
terrible OC's ruin it

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>>30880191

>>30880144
>>30880216
>"hey kid come closer, get a better look at my ass"
>doesn't zoom in/ have a more detailed perspective
Fuck this. Goodbye.

>>30879275
Nice. I like it. Please continue

>>30879275
I like this story quite a bit.

It'd be great if Anon found another love besides Minuette and for Minuette to realize too late they could have had something special

>>30880274
I also would really like this outcome.

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>>30880274
This, please.
Maybe it's a really ugly mare, or another mare with an exotic fetish Like Rarity, the fucking whore

>>30880274
>Her ass is sore
Tooooo bad, those pony will never KNEW Human's Fist

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>>30879420
>"Fuck you, I'm not short."
>5'11 VS. 6'0

>>30880274
To clarify: I don't have a bone to pick with Minuette. I do however think her unkind, perhaps warranted, behavior ought to induce character growth in Anon.

Anon ought to ask himself: "Why should I try to form a serious relationship with the easy lay who hates my guts, when I could find someone who will like me for me? Is getting this mare drunk all-the-time and pretending there's something more really how I want to live my life? I'm not a virgin anymore, goddammit."

Perhaps, while Anon is growing up romantically and getting dates, Minuette and him continue their discrete sex-only relationship.

That could form an interesting duality: the less love Anon feels for Minuette, the more Minuette clings to him. Anon interprets her increasing infatuation as the deepening of a platonic friendship, which Minuette is too proud and too ashamed to disabuse him of. With every encounter, as he grows as person, he becomes more and more the sunshine of her day...

Or at least that's how I would do it.

>>30880387
If Flash, Capper, and Discordposting are anything to go by, half of the mane six apply.

>>30880416
I shed a tear and salute you anon for putting into words exactly how I wanted that green to go.

>>30880434
>Mane 6 forms a herd with Anon
>The entire populous of Equestria loses respect for them
>Except for the freaks and weirdos
ANON, KING OF THE FREAKS

>>30880457
I'd read it.

>>30879950
>>30879965
>>30880029
>Two stallions, a human and a zebra.
>Fighting together, along side mares, to keep their lonely country free from foreign aggression.
>After a long hard day of struggle, it's time to settle down for the night.
>The two stallions are exhausted: all covered in dirt and sweaty.
>They have to huddle together for warmth in the cold desert.
>The stress is getting to them: they haven't been with a mare in ages.
>Pondering their mortality, the human catches the glint of the moonlight shinning off his zebra comrade's eyes.
>It's too much.
>He goes for the kiss.
>The zebra is at first surprised, but necessity and the bond formed by two stallions forced to endure marely riggors of bloody war pushes him to return the kiss.
>They can't hold back as passion engulfs them.
>There, they make love.
>They know not what tomorrow holds, nor can they know the fate of their doomed land.
>But for tonight at least, they have each other.
>the mares hear them and gather round to take pictures and watch

>>30878869
>>"Huh! Like you could meet my incredibly high standards, ape man."
>>Anon proceeds to answer all of her riddles.
>>"Oh no, he's meeting all of my standards!"
i laughed

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>>30880415
>Manlet Anon feeling tall and proud until he meets the 6'1 and 6'3 princesses

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>>30878905
>>Why are his eyes so small?
>>And mean looking?
Oh fuck, I know that feel. I apparently have mean looking, cold blue eyes.

>>30879887
I do like the concept that Anon triggers their "looks like a cute foal" instincts (especially because of the eyes), despite being bigger than Celestia.

>Mare likes Anon
>Worries that lusting after him makes her a foalcon

>>30880434
Pinkie is secretly a human all along (or at least some of the time), since she swaps places with her EqG doppleganger at least once.

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>>30879275
Why didn't he just try his luck with minotaurs? Or even dragons?

>>30878837
God damn it, now I’m actually interested and nobody’s going to pick it up.

>>30880653
>Big Mac has the stallion equivalent of resting bitch face.
>Only the bravest mares are willing to try asking him out.

>>30880845
Because he lives in Ponyville where only bestiary geeks, like Fluttershy, even know what a minotaur is.

That's a pro tip if you're in an Equestria where humans aren't at least neutral/mid-tier appearance to ponies. Get out of Ponyville.

>>30880877
Didn't this story have him living in Canterlot? Land of the snooty ponies.

Minotaurs and Dragons and such are probably only really seen at the castle when the Ambassadors are in town.

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>>30880845
>dragoness immediately covets and jealously guards him because he's an incredibly exotic and exceedingly rare male

>>30880892
>Feels somehow insulted that ponies find her precious treasure of a mate to be ugly.

>>30878948
This is part of the reason I personally prefer "mares lust after Anon" stories over "mares are realistically repulsed by Anon (unless they're into some freaky stuff)". I come here to escape reality, not to feed my cripplingly low self-esteem.

>>30881063
Agreed. I did a bit of research on penis size for the difference between a MLP stallion and an average human male. Best ratio came out to be humans at 1/4 the size of a stallion. Too depressing to put in a green unless you want to keep hammering home the fact that you will never please your waifu.

>>30881085
You did that much research for that, but not the fact that horses last for like 30 seconds?

>>30881101
I knew that part. I just wanted to know how the size compared.

>>30879420
Thanks for the projection, Mario.

>>30881063
It's not anymore realistic imo. It would be closer to a middle ground where humans aren't visually offensive, but still count as a 6/10 at best. If you're in a "males are rare" Equestria, you'll probably find plenty of mares who just need something to be male.

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The newest "you will go to equestria when you die" thread had a cute thing.

>Unicorns of myth would be completely docile to virgins, going so far as to fall asleep in their laps.
>Go to equestria.
>Unicorns and Alicorns find you irresistibly comfy so long as you stay a virgin.
>Falling asleep outside will inevitably result in a snuggle pile within short order.

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>>30881085
Evidence or off to marital problems with you.

>>30880457
>The Six, realising that ponies are beginning to think they're a "Dyke Herd", make plans to snag a stallion.
>Glimmer suddenly being there only reinforces ponies' misconceptions.
>However, all the non-family stallions they know are either dicks, gold-diggers, or terrified of them due to their daily exploits.
>Flash Sentry is still in hiding.
>Anon is considered unattractive by pony standards, and given he often chases Lyra through Ponyville half-naked and with ketchup/mustard war-paint, as she steals his socks.
>Still, he gets along well with half of them, so he's better than nothing.
>That, and they wouldn't have to worry about him being tempted away.
>However, due to ponies being proverbial sheep mentally, when it becomes known he's shacking up with a Wonderbolt, the Princess of Friendship, one of Equestria's premier fashionistas, a former supermodel, etcetera, he suddenly, sharply becomes less unattractive and ugly and more "exotic" and an alien beauty.
>After all, these heroes must see *something* in him they couldn't, right?
>*They* must be the odd ones to see such an exotic male as being ugly.
>Right?
>Thus, the Six suddenly find themselves on the defensive against other mares, and Anon is being offered non-herd poon-tang constantly on a plate.
>Will he stick to his principles and remain loyal, or will he break and succumb to non-herd poon, like a dying man in a desert handed unlimited ice-cream?

>>30881133
Here's my notes. I used a human penis size of 6" btw.

Stallion height
Average 15 hands 60" from shoulders
Draft 18 hands
Hands = 4 inches
Source: https://www.reference.com/pets-animals/average-height-horse-51cbc835c7f75fd4

Penis
Flaccid 20" long 2.3" wide
Erect 2x flaccid
Source https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stallion

Flaccid 1/3 height
Erect 2x flaccid

MLP height
Average 3.5-4' from head
3-3.5 from shoulders?
36-42"
12-14" flaccid
24-28" erect

Average human is about 1/4 the size of a pony

>>30881085
>>30881101

So many people bring up the stamina but forget you only need a few inches to reach their g spot and stallions only use half their length. Just don't have a small premature cock by human standards and you'll be fine.

>>30881085
All the 'research' I've seen puts humans at about the same size as an MLP pony stallion, the major difference being shape, and with a slight advantage for humans due to positioning making you able to get all of it in instead of a little over half.

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I think one problem with these maths is that the mares are apparently going go get wrecked by average human cocks, even if pone stallions are bigger.

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>>30881129
>mfw sacrificed this, and the ability to become a wizard, for a 3dpd who abandoned me.

>>30880892
>You inhale deeply
>"No"
"OH COME ON."
>your chains clank as you walk around your very spacious cage, hands on your hips
>"The answer is no, my perfect gem."
"You don't even know what I was gonna ask!"
>"It doesn't matter - it's either incredibly dangerous or another attempt at escaping, and I won't have either."
>You purse your lips and stare daggers at your captor
>She smiles, not looking up from the fuckhueg book she's reading from, licking a claw and turning a page
>For you see, you're Anon and uh
>you done fucked up
>As soon as word in the dragonlands about your sudden appearance spread around, there was mild interest and some crass jokes at Celestia's expense
>and then it took about 5 minutes for it to sink in that you were the only human
>the only
>one
>ever
>As you learned later, even your bones - an errant tooth - would be worth more than all the rubies under the Redback Ridge
>And you were assured that was a lot
>Not that you'd know - you've only ever been in Canterlot and then this prison
>So of course there was interest
>Some came in breathing fire and sewing distruction
>They were lazerhorsed' into ash
>Luna said you could stay at the castle forever if it allowed her to crush dragonskulls with her mace again like she did back in '99
>not 1999
>just, 99.
>Anyway. Some tried deception, and magic - which you were susceptible, comes to find out - but using dragon-level magic in a city filled with unicorns
>Again, not the smartest idea
>Though you have been assured that Lady Emeraldclaw's wings will stop being a peach tree and the disembodied voice of Gilbert Gottfried, respectively, any decade now!
>Again, not that you'd know, seeing as how all last year's entire social interaction was with this scaled up whore
>See, some dragonnesses are really strong and just get what they want due to size
>Some are magical space wizards - like, actual space wizards, but after something about "empy" and "mars" they stopped going out too far

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>>30881204
>>Luna said you could stay at the castle forever if it allowed her to crush dragonskulls with her mace again like she did back in '99
>>not 1999
>>just, 99.
kek

best princess

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>>30881204
>>Luna said you could stay at the castle forever if it allowed her to crush dragonskulls with her mace again like she did back in '99
>>not 1999
>>just, 99.

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>>30881204
>>not 1999
>>just, 99.

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>>30881226
I like to think Luna is the one who will regale you with tales from back in the day without worrying about whether it's PC or not, while Celestia, who has to be the responsible modern day leader, is almost embarrassed by them.

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>>30881143
>using a horse specifically bred to be huge in every dimension
Actually that's a problem across the board. Horses where mostly bred by humans to be work animals, and part of that is bring physically strong and part of breeding that leads to massive growth in any male feature. It's like domesticated pigs have larger penises than wild boars on average.

Also
>20 inches unerect
Read you confirmation bias ass nigga:
When not erect, the penis is housed within the prepuce, 50 cm (20 in) long.

This length isn't usable, it's inside the sheath. All cocks do this, look at an anatomy chart half of the spongy tissue is inside and not 'usable length' .usable stallion length is something like a good foot and a half. The largest cock on a horse was I think 24 inches. Don't quote me don't remember, but foot and a half is what large tough bred work horses have.

Everything else relies on these things.

I can't believe I've fallen this far. Arguing dicks.

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>>30880274
>spoilertext
Anon, story-Anon is hideously ugly to ponies, and Minuette vomits from the mere thought of having sex with him. She also told him in a very cruel way to get the fuck outta her face and only even considers touching him when she's blackout-drunk. At this point, I honestly suspect that there's a 50% chance of Anon straight up committing suicide after one encounter too many with an honest and sober Minuette.

>Anon loses his job because a couple of late nights with Minuette made him late for work a few times, and his employers were really just looking for an excuse to get rid of him
>Anon thinks he has some kind of casual fucking thing set up with Minuette, and goes to her for some small semblance of comfort (or what passes for him in Equestria)
>Judging by how the story is going, Anon spent the last of his rent money on liquor, knowing full well that the only way any pony will touch him (even platonically) is if they're extremely drunk
>Maybe he doesn't even want to have sex
>Maybe he just wants a hug, and hopes that Minuette will be able to grit her teeth and bear it while they embrace
>Unfortunately, Minuette just happened to have a particularly bad day that day (or maybe she's just sober), and she tells Anon in no uncertain terms that he's a disgusting monster and that she wants him out of her life
>Anon leaves, and she probably regrets being so harsh to him
>She knows he lives in a crappy motel, and goes to visit him a few hours later
>Finds him hanging from a rope
>Doesn't go to his funeral; nobody goes to his funeral

>>30881204
>Some were cunning and used their honeyed words to lure you out, to get you to go "willingly"
>Again, you lived in a city of magical politicians with two horses who stayed in power for well over a thousand years
>Not the smartest idea
>But Lady Silvertooth is far too busy now helping ponies settle and farm her mountains to be of any threat for the next, uh
>800 years.
>So how here and who dis bitch?
>Turns out all you needed were some come-hither eyes and a flagging tail
>Yeah, you were surprised too
>Especially when it came from a dragoness roughly the size of a house
>Now you were super excited to go all Zangeif Piledriver into dat pusspuss
>let's be honest - your dick, though mighty, can't uh... fuck a house
>But as you learned when you were being carried away
>A dragon's pussy is roughly 270 degrees when unaroused
>and about 700 degrees when, literally, in heat
>. . . you're still salty
>but that's what you get for not paying attention during Twilights many many many boring lectures
>so now you're in a sexless marriage with a reptile of a woman
>you *have* turned into your dad
>The realization makes you slump against the bars of your suspended cage
"I hate you so much."
>"Mmmm. And I love you too, most precious of my hoard."
>Lady Ember - no relation, you've come to find out - smiles as you make a very rude gesture with your hands
"All I want to do is stretch my legs!"
>"You want to try running away again."
"Well. I mean, running *is* stretching"
>"Shall I get the pole out?"
"Woman you are NOT tethering me to a fucking pole again."
>A monstrous page turns. "Then you're not getting out. Now hush, momma needs to catch up on her reading."
"What even are you reading?"
>"Dungeoneering on a Budget: Ruins, Rarities and Artefacts edition."
"Aah. Well I am a rarity-"
>"I was thinking more of a ruin, but, if that helps you sleep-"
"Fuck you"
>"Mmm, we can't sweetie. Anyway. There are rules, bylaws, a whole union type thing as to how I have to keep you, soo..."

oh also brb soonish - writing these as I have spare time at work

>>30881284
rgre is supposed to be wish fulfilmeant not realistic.

>>30881318
It's supposed to be RGRE

also

>sadness porn
>realistic

>>30881204
>>Luna said you could stay at the castle forever if it allowed her to crush dragonskulls with her mace again like she did back in '99
>>not 1999
>>just, 99.
We need more legitimately crazy Luna.

>Luna decides to pursue Anon and courts him the way they did back in her day
>Presents him with the corpse of a dragon as a gesture to prove her strength and ability to protect him from enemies

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>>30881289
>>so now you're in a sexless marriage with a reptile of a woman
>>you *have* turned into your dad
aww man.

I didn't expect that razor sharp feel.

>>30881204
>the disembodied voice of Gilbert Gottfried, respectively, any decade now!
Almost any greentext in this thread is made a thousand times better when you picture it being read in the dulcet tones of Gilbert Gottfried.

>>30881283
Hmmm good point. I redid that with an 18" horse penis at 60" tall from the shoulders. In the end it makes ponies a more reasonable 10.8"-12.6" in length.

>>30881284
>After Anon dies, he wakes up as a MLP-style horse in the Everfree.
>Once it becomes known, ponies are unsure if the once-hideous once-ape is either their version or Aphrodite or Artemis, testing them.
>The former means shame, as they failed his test.
>The latter is fucking terrifying because Artemis, in Greek lore, was a very cruel, very vindictive goddess to both sexes, and he'd be an analogue.
>Minuette genuinely becomes worried that she's on *the* shit-list.
>Anon's just confused about the whole thing.
>Bonus if it were a plot by Celestia or Luna to create an "ideal stallion" out of something imperfect in form but perfect in essence for themelves.

>>30881379
I don't mind that prompt by itself, but I hate when people combine meme prompts together like that. The crystal empire one being a prime example.

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>>30881373
Again, that's bigger end of spectrum. I'm not trying to be a MUH HFY fag, but I don't like poorly done research.

Whenever the 18 inch or 1 and a half foot number is stated it is usually preceded by: can reach lengths of or 'larger varieties'. There seems to be a severe lack of true availability of data on this subject, but 18 is larger end. Not largest avaliable, but larger end.

You'd have to compare whatever the commonly largest human length is. Not Ron Jeremy of whoever has the largest rn, but largest size commonly reported. I think it would be like 12 but porn is probably influencing me.

So you're comparing largest common sizes, because lack data on the subject. Which is bs.

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>>30881282
I'd fucking love that. She's like the cool auntie.

>>30881284
realistic end

>>30881439
>Cool Aunty
>Not the mare of choice because she's not a PC fag
>Not the mare that would make her sister stew in envy as she's the hotter, younger, rebellious sister to males

>>30881333
Metal. Could she forge armor for me out of it's bones?

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>>30881439
>Luna reciting an epic poem of their journey to new lands; she has it completely memorized because not everything was written down in those days.
>She gets to the part about the "stripies"
>Celestia walks in.

>>30881478
>Luna wins Anon over by giving him un-politically correct gifts and gestures.
>Ponies are gob-smacked.
>Celly be jelly and not knowing whether to be happy for her sister or mortified by what she did to snag him.

>>30881432
Ok. So the largest natural penis size I've seen reported is 11" (no source, just memory) which is about the size I quoted for ponies.

Sooo... they're about the same then?

And I agree about the lack of data but not much can be done about that.

>>30881284
>Anon decides "fuck it"
>No amount of sex is worth debasing yourself for a mare that will never love you anyway.
>He leaves Canterlot, the cheers of mares still echoing in his ears
>He travels around the world, getting into all kinds of trouble ans seeing the sights
>A legend starts to enshroud him, told from the Crystal Empire all the way down in Klugetown, about the mysterious robed figure who wanders the land, fighting monsters and exploring forgotten ruins

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>>30881527
Would spend the rest of my eighty years with and have many strong foals with.

>>30881554
Since love is obviously forever out of reach, why not aim for power? I imagine you could find all kinds of powerful relics and artifacts you can use for yourself, maybe even fuse into your very being.

Who knows?

>>30881289
"So what?"
>"S-so what? Really? You don't like my work so far?" Ember motions with her tail to her cave complex
"Um... I mean, what am I looking at here exactly?"
>With a thump as loud as a car crash she closes the book with one claw. "You plebian. You're not joking, are you?"
"No! I mean, look. Ooo, I'm suspended in a big ol' cage - just ignore the cabling to gently lower me to the ground!"
>"You're a living treasure and so you have to have an ecologically-sound living space! I'm still building-"
"What, the doll house?"
>"It is NOT a DOLLHOUSE. I do NOT play with Drake's toys- look, just. It's a habitat!"
"It's made from plywood and felt."
>"Those are SOFT Materials! And I'm also giving you full access to a livable suite of comfor-"
"That's a bed made of hay bales and a fake kitchen."
>"Well, we can't have you burning the whole place down with a fire-"
"But you're a dragon. You're literally a walking furnace and probably the biggest danger to me. Besides, you also cook all my meals, so-"
>"Look, just, it's a quality of life thing, ok?! Regulations state I'm to make your enslavement and captivity as comfortable as possible, doubly so because you're a male. And see, I'm even giving you free range to roa-"
"Again, tying me to a pole stuck in the floor is not really 'free range'. Also, what's to stop me from using the materials in the house to try to esca-"
>"IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS!" Ember roars, her voice echoing off the cave walls
"Fine. Ignoring your doll hou-"
>"Don't you start with me-"
"What about the uh. The pile of shit behind me?"
>"That is NOT a pile!"
>You turn to look at the literal golden horde behind you
"It's... just shit piled together. Pretty shit, mind you-"
>"Everything is graded by size, luster, color - all containers by tare weight, cost and rarity, then arranged for display! IT IS NOT A PILE!" she roars
>Softly, ever so faintly, you hear a "neeerrrdd" being yelled back in response
>"Oh! Adventurers! That's the third time this week!"

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>>30881542
I think the best course of action is to be honest and just say that you nor I know. And that each writer is free to do what they please after that the free market will decide will decide.

But let's turn this into an internet argument. And you're a faggot cuck.

luv u Anon

>>30881527
>>30881561
>Cadence tries to advise her aunt on what to do.
>Basically says fuck it and does her own thing.
>Candy Ass is frustrated but has crisis when Luna's behaviour actually attracts Anon.

>>30881576
>Suicidally depressed
>Legitimately thinking about killing self
>Filled with enough disgust, depression, and self-loathing to pull it off if you tried
>Somehow find the willpower to travel around the world and be this big dumb folk hero who inexplicably has the skill to survive the wilderness as well as the ability to explore and loot sick ruins
>A "you're depressed? Congrats, the world is now your oyster" posts
That's dumb and I don't like you very much.

>>30881606
Nigga I was a depressive, edgy teenager for about six years. I pulled my own damn self out of it through sheer willpower, if a literally who like me can do it why can't others?

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>>30881577
>>"It is NOT a DOLLHOUSE. I do NOT play with Drake's toys- look, just. It's a habitat!"

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>>30881576
Why not become a business magnate instead and disregard the hoes?

>>30881613
Pulling yourself out of depression is fine, and I'd probably read greentext about an Anon who overcomes a combination of depression and sexism. I just thought the weird immediate jump from "I legitimately might actually kill myself" to "WHOOO ADVENTURE" was not the best.

>>30881593
>"They all want to come inside, but when I open my door no one is there."
"That's because you live on a cloud, Rainbow. Humans can't fly."

>>30881639
I mean, the depression can't be that bad if you immediately up and decide for no apparent reason that you don't feel all that worthless or ugly or suicidal after all. I thought the whole kick behind it was that it was hard to get rid of. Arbitrarily being all "lol nope" destroys any significance it had on the story.

>>30881593
I actually posted this here because I do write for this thread. Glad I did or I'd have portrayed Anon as having a micro penis.

ilu2 Anon

>>30881639
>>30881696
You're in a brand new, entirely magical world that's practically directly from the imagination and brimming with opportunities. Go be depressed somewhere else .

>>30881759
OMG! LOL kk

well, it doesn't really matter, if you can't reach the power buddy, is like living in a world full of magic and powerful artifacts and not being able to get it(or don't have the right opportunity), it will suck and be worst than earth. think about it, monsters,dragons... even the fucking insects are magical and you're not... it would be hell.

>>30881812
>worse than Earth
Doubt it. You wouldn't be trapped in a rigid system with no escape in Equestria.

>>30881843
well, this is true... at least in equestria there are more opportunity and more freedom, the rigid system on earth is sincerely depressive... at least you will get a better death than committing suicide due the stillness of living 8 to 6...

>>30881812
Depends on whether you're spell resistant, though good for adventure; shit for everyday life.

Another thing to consider is that you would likely need to be at least compatible with magic to live without health complications. Your body is like a rickety machine that's constantly replacing parts with shit picked up off the ground. It takes 6 years or so to replace every cell in your body. At some point, you would be composed entirely of Equestrian matter and technically only your genetic blueprints are from Earth. That is bound to change you in some way.

>>30881284
If the author wants to write a tragedy, then this would be a good path to go.

Follow-up story with Minuette consumed by guilt, not romantic but "I killed him with my words, am I a monster?" would be interesting.

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>tfw no one is writing about Minotaurs, dragons, diamond dogs, or griffins

>Anon decides to get a job
>Since he already does it for free sometimes, a pony parent suggests foalsitting.
>It's one of the few things nopony will argue whether he's qualified for.
>He's a stallion, childcare just comes naturally to them dontchaknow?

>>30882047
>>tfw no one is writing about Minotaurs, dragons, diamond dogs, or griffins

there are some old Minotaurs and griffins stories, but almost nothing about dragons or diamond dogs though...

>>30882047
>>>/trash/

>>30882166
>>30882047
It's because Diamond Dogs are not for sexual.

There's other RGRE stuff you could do with them, but without lewd, there's not a lot of motivation.

>>30882166
DDs are gorilla armed, so probably that.

>>30882047
It hurts Anon, it really does.

>>30882047
>>30882166
>>30882194
>>30882195
>>30882238

Here's a story about Minotaurs, that is finished: https://pastebin.com/pSeAqG9T

Here's my ongoing story about Minotaurs and Diamond Dogs: https://pastebin.com/pJ47xx9g

Here's a story with Griffons: https://pastebin.com/0yrLUv57

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>>30881141
Artifical scarcity at its finest.
>6 attractive and powerful mares want you.
>Now all the other mares want you too.
>The 6 may have found their way to you for a petty reason, but they're your herd just as much as you are their human.
>No betrayal here. Especially not for lower grade pussy that you haven't already cozied up to.
>All attempts to steal you away get a violent rejection. No acceptions. An Elder Goddess could descend from Elysium for you and get naught but a sneer.
>The M6 live the hidden gem /tg/ husbando fantasy

>>30882295
>Here's my ongoing story about Minotaurs and Diamond Dogs
>>>>ongoing

>>30882295
I have read the entirety of the RGRE pastebin.

>>30880812
This. This is good.

>>30882047
Can a toaster really electrocute you or is that just a meme?

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>>30882332
>I have read the ENTIRETY of the RGRE pastebin

How does it feel to have ascended to the next plane?

>>30882369
You'd need something bigger and to be grounded to something while in the tub.

>>30882379
I read it all about a year ago so.....

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>>30882406
Now it's time to START WITH THE GREEKS

>>30882332
did you read the archives? there are thousand stories there that people forgot to move to pastebin

>>30879887
There was one while ago where humans are to ponies what alicorns are to humans. Adorable and beautiful in an alien way.
>Mares want your attention and affection for reasons they can't place.
>Can hardly go anywhere without a personal clique of stallions. Kind of like girls grouping up around the prettiest girl in highschool.
>Foals and little pones want to be hugged and held whenever you have a free moment.
>And there's the occasional pony who has a wandering mind crossed with a dirty thought...
>Not a bad life all in all.

>>30881085
>>30881101
Keep in mind that MLP ponies are depicted as being quite a bit more "human" in stature and proportions.
They have about 1/4th the muzzle length (at MOST), their legs are far smaller, their stomachs are far slimmer, and their bodies are shorter.

In females, a smaller belly, slimmer profile, and shorter body all point toward a drastically smaller uterus, which heavily implies smaller penis size in the males. Additionally, equine biology dictates a much thinner penis by comparison.
All-in-all, from a logistical standpoint, stallions would probably be about 9 inches long, but only about a 3 inch circumference (versus ~6 inch length and ~5 inch circumference for a human).

Different, sure, but certainly not something you could consider disappointing.

>>30882441
Everything underneath "RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria" I have read, even the entirety of the prompt collections.

Sileni

Have you guys read this?

https://pastebin.com/xpUqsusg

>>30882505
Literally just femnazi bullshit.

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>>30882505

>>30882505
Your shit is shit

>>30882505
I did, its shit.

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>Then there's the Student Council - newly elected.
>They float above it all.

>Flash Sentry, Head cheerleader.
>His mom's LOADED - she sells engagement rings.
>Big Macintosh. Runs the yearbook. No... discernible personality, but good-looking, and his grandmother has the capitol to shell out for his 100-Bit haircuts.
>And then...
>And then there's Anonymous.
>The Almighty.

>He... is a MYTHIC prick.

>They're solid Teflon - never bothered, never harassed.
>I would give ANYTHING to be like that...
>"I'd like to be their boyfriend."
>'Ooooo, that would be beautiful...'
>"If I sat at their table, girls would notice me!"
>'So beautiful!'
>"I'd like them to be nicer..."
>'Ooo, that would be beautiful.'
>"I'd like to kidnap Anonymous and photograph him naked in an abandoned warehouse
and leave him tied up for the rats."

>>30878837
naw, still meh tier

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Horse Fish Girls

>>30882505
It's sufficient, but has a crappy stopping point. Also a sizeable chunk of the thread audience can't handle the possible downside of RGR outside of comedic sugarcoating , because they hate actual stories ^:) . On the other hand I get the vibe that this is a fetishistic work, so it's not like it would've explored these themes much better. If you're the author, feel free to prove me wrong on that though. I'll gladly read it.

>>30882759
>no hooves

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>>30882759
I want to squeeze Sonata's breasts.

>>30879781
Reverse of the current theme of "Anon is ugly to ponies."
Nice...
Though it should be noted that it'd be pretty impossible for Anon to actually get it up in this situation. Whiskey dick is hard enough to contend with as it is, so throwing in a lack of sexual arousal also, and Anon would have to resort to his fingers alone.
>>30880064
Been addressed already. Ponies were designed by the creators to appeal to the human viewers. Sexual arousal brought on by cuteness is a growing kink globally, though ti's actually more prominent and socially acceptable in the east (Lolicon).
>>30880434
The same reason they were all so quick to transfer into adventurers. The Mane6 and just inherently adventurous and open to new things, which includes alien dick.
The average pony isn't nearly as eager to answer the call to adventure, just like your average person on Earth, and by extension, prefer a structured life and familiar things, like pony genitals.
>>30880854
God, if I had a nickle for every time someone asked me if I was okay or if I was angry because of my resting bitch face...
>>30881148
>>30881165
Even if they only used half, that's still twice as long as the average human. Ponies are more flexible and inventive than their Terran counterparts as well, so I'm sure they can figure out positions to utilize more of their length.
>>30881284
Next human appears in Equestria, Minuette goes out of her way to help him and be a good, non-sexual friend. Gives him a job as her dentist assistant and pays him well.

>>30882833
Judging by the vagina calcs they probably won't want more than half to begin with. That's the most overlooked thing; someone did the math, and concluded average human cocks are already just a little too big.

>>30881204
Add value to human by making them nega-magic, like in some stories where they are described as being voids in the aether. A shiv carved from a human bone can penetrate any magic defense. A cloak sown from their hide deflects magic like water off a ducks back. Use their sinew to make ropes unicorns can't untie with their magic.
>>30881289
He needs the fireproof spell Finn used to be with Flame Princess in Adventure time, though it might clash with the above.

>>30880387
>Anon is weird.
>Not ugly or attractive.
>Just... weird.
>Kinda like how we look at non-fetish bait fantasy creatures
>Just like Earth, some ponies fetishize these normally non-fetish fuel creatures
>Among them are Fluttershy, Rarity, Twilight, Lyra, Moondancer, and Luna, among others.
>They're considered weird much the same way normies scorn people who want to fuck actual non shapeshifting dragons
>Maybe slightly less stigma since a lot of sapient species exist
>This causes them to immediately fetishize the fuck out of Anon and his various weird feature

>>30881085
>>30881143
It's my LITTLE pony. They aren't the size of a normal pony, they're much smaller. Which makes your statement completely wrong. I believe someone did an autistic analysis and figured out that stallion dicks were about the same size as ours, but could only go halfway in.

>>30882833
>Been addressed already

And that in turn was addressed.
>>30879887

Although it's more of a "humans would be neutral leaning ever so slightly on positive by leaving good impressions" conclusion and not "monkey peepees xp".

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>>30882771
>Hooves

>>30882869
Pretty sure whoever did that math was cherry picking their data sets to get a result that would bolster their fragile ego. I can accept equivalent penis size for the sake of story telling, but trying to say humans are hung by pony standards is such obvious wish fulfillment that it's both laughable and sad.

>>30882922
Ponies can go all the way in. They are more flexible than Earth horses and can utilize different positions Pony-Sutra style.

>>30882952
It wasn't much to do with their egos because they still calculated stallions as much bigger iirc. It also wasn't big in a good way as it was stated to be -too- big. If anything it's (unintentionally though) just showing that calculating this stuff is a bit silly and futile because if you take out the human element you still have hung stallions who are way, way too big for their mares.

>>30882969
Believe me, a guy being too big for a girl is the ultimate ego booster. Yeah, the no sex bit is bad, but for all the reasons they aren't getting any, being too big is the one they'll be outright proud of.
"Yeah, I was gonna fuck her, but she said I was too big."
"Bro..."
"Yep, I guess that's just me though, cursed with a Giant Monster Slong!"
"Bro, I feel your pain. My cock is too big for ponies too."
"Yeah, luckily she showed me what that mouth could do."

>>30882992
>Mares can't admit a stallion is too big
>Zecora is making a killing off of Porn Physics Potions that make them painlessly stretchier.
>She's like the RGRE equivalent of the guy selling bigger dick pills, except it actually works.

>>30882922
Son, I'm disappoint.

>>30882992
I mean, that's a very specific context. If you have some perspective you wouldn't even be able to brag in RGR because of cultural differences and every "fish in the sea" will be the same way. Definitely not someone's fantasy. Either way, it came about simply by applying the same methods, so the numbers are what they are. If you don't like the idea that it would have to shrink stallion dongs to make sense, just take it instead as an indicator that measuring stylized cartoon characters is a very flawed method to see what size and dimensions their junk is.

>>30882505

I was waiting for the RIP AND TEAR but there was none. I want a refund of my time.

>>30883043
Same

>>30882881
still writing, and it's a oneshit, but the whole nega-magic thing has bothered me to varying degrees. Like, I understand it's a plot device - hell, I've used it myself more than once - but like. In this oneshit, anon is rare because he's the only one of his kind.

Think of it like... well, ok. Take the Thylacine. Super common, fucking horrifying in the only way australia can be, etc., etc. Extinct now, but say one of those was found just wandering the outback, eating babies.

No one in their right fucking mind would kill and process that animal. Even in death, processing would be minimal and mostly from a scientific standpoint - if the body was donated to science. It is rare because it is whole; if I wanted to see/use it's carcass I could find those in any museum, or even from their living relatives.

Take this a step further and put it into Equestria - not the Thylacine, you ass, the idea - You have a sapient, one-of-a-kind creature that has relatives in the world (apes), sure, but it alone is what it is. That's incredibly valuable, and not something you'd want to destroy, especially if you were a species that hoarded valuable things.

Hell, when his body becomes a corpse, it'll most likely be treated like any other mummified artifact - with a shitton of care. Probably also put in a fancy box for display. Now why in the shit would I want to take this carcass of the only type of creature ever in the history of the world and ruin it making... rope. or a knife. or a hat. Because, remember, once it's processed it can't be un-processed.

Anon is valuable enough on his own just because he's rare; everything else is icing on the cake. Especially for a dragon, that's all the justification you need.

>>30883103
I didn't mean for the dragon to want him for these things, they'd only be interested in the value you've described. Plus, a dragon probably feels it's shameful to rely on any weapon beyond the ones nature gave them since they think themselves apex predators.
I meant have him be coveted for the nega-properties by villainous or war-like people or races. Like, an assassin who feels a human bone-dagger would be extremely useful for their line of work, or sorcerer who wants to study the odd properties of the flesh.

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>>30882505
It's fine enough, but expect it to to get reeed at and whined about. Since Anon not being god-king big dick OG for even a second causes most posters here to have an aneurysm.
So either update it or drop it, just don't post it to get cheap (You)s for previous work.

>>30883418
It's not even that it's a "maretriarchy" with mares in charge, that's pretty much business as usual around here.

It's that it took it to insane absurd levels, and wasn't even used for comedic purposes, which is about the only way to make that work.

'Oh, she tried to rape you? And you resisted? How dare you!'

That's just a shit premise.

>>30883458
>which is about the only way to make that work.

There's another way, but it would be a heavy, realistic character drama. Only problem is that green just said that every country is the same fucking way, so crafting a cathartic solution is difficult if not impossible outside something like going innawoods after much suffering.

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>>30881554
>Anon knows his life isn't worth anything.
>Spends his time helping people who are actually worth the space they take up.
>Goes above and beyond, even risking his worthless life, because deep down he knows that it's the only thing he can do to make up for existing.
mfw i've gone out of my way to help someone who still hates me, to the point of almost being stabbed for them, because i still i feel like anyone is worth more than me. Felt like it since right around puberty and haven't ever shaken it.

>>30879420
Is this a strawberry sunrise thing?

>>30883536
Damn, Shirou Emiya posts on /mlp/

>>30881129
>fucking different species doesn't count because God is a cool guy for once
>retain virgin powers even if you have sex with your waifu so long as you don't become a slut

>>30883671
>tfw you get targeted by spooky sorts, who want your virgin blood for dark rituals, and creepy fetishists who want to "slay" the virgin.

>>30881129
Wait, so what happens if you walk around and got laid before, but wasn't a slut about it?

>>30883671
>Wish-fulfillment intensifies
>Want cake and eat it too

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>>30883808
Yes hello welcome to /mlp/.

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>>30883808
>want cake and eat it too

Pretty much the Zeitgeist of the general in a nutshell. It's not worth pointing out every instance of it. You might as well be talking about there being rice at a Chinese restaurant. Instead, focus this peeve on writing your own story without such things, and if you have the chops, a satire that's not overly subversive and in your face; a regular story with satiric moments here or there more like.