RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

File: 1504125530523_0.png (795KB, 1280x2032px) Image search: [Google]

795KB, 1280x2032px

>>30890715

>>30890721
Thanks for the shitpost you likely have ready to go at all times on a feed.

Here's a (You) for your wasted time and troubles.

>>30890721
In RGRE, wouldn't the more common trap be mares pretending to be stallions?
And a prompt:
>Accidental trap FemAnon.
>Flat chested, professional weightlifter.
>Girl power, motherfucker.
>Can crush a watermelon between your thighs.
>You're powerful legs attract the wrong kind of attention, sadly.
>These lesbo horses are persistent, but you're not that desperate.
>You are, however, desperate enough to try some stallion cock.
>Hey, those donkey shows must have been a thing back home for a reason.
>Stallions turn you down constantly though.
>Caramel sits you down.
>"Anon, I'm flattered, but... I'm not gay."
"What?"

>>30890745
Please don't encourage it, anon.

>>30890745
>>Accidental trap FemAnon.
Stopped reading.

>>30890715
>the perfect wannabe chad trigger
Nice choice OP

>>30890745
Honestly wasnt terrible could be funny

>>30890745
Now I just imagine Zarya from Overwatch in RGREquestria.

>>30890777
Who?

>>30890745
So basically humanized Rainbow Dash? :^)

>>30890779
Videogame character. Former weight lifting champion turned soldier in the fight to protect Mother Russia against robot invasion. Very Dyke-y.
>>30890745
>Big Mac is gay though, but must keep it a secret from his very traditional family.
>Wants desperately to return Anon's approaches, but resists.
>Sister just thinks the new colt in town is good friends with her brother.
>It's low, but if it gets her an edge in landing that fine hunk of a stallion, she's will to exploit Big Mac to get closer to Anon.
>FemAnon realizes Big Mac is the biggest stallion in town, automatically making him the best.
>And he's not outright disturbed by your flirting.
>Bonus.
>Show off your muscles by helping him make cider.
>Crushing apples in your palms.
>Gets more of a reaction from his lesbo sister.
>Why can't these tiny mares let you work your moves in peace?

File: 152f7792d7e601e5e9387030096c551fe203a8c234afdd6d57fb00c29c86ab02.gif (260KB, 177x199px) Image search: [Google]

260KB, 177x199px

>>30890792
Nice.

>>30890823
I believe this is what we call a clusterfuck of a situation.

A prompt idea I might flesh out/work on some more later:

>The time between the setting of the sun and the rising of the moon (and vice versa) are when the veil between worlds is weakest.
>In the twilight hour, a portal appears in Equestria.
>And through it, comes the wizard.
>Or rather, the wizard's apprentice.
>He is here because of a test. (Something Twiggles latches on to when he explains the situation to her)
>Now he must learn something interesting from this realm to report back.
>And he has to do a little research on how to get back, since he had help getting here in the first place.
>His master told him not to worry, that he'd come fetch him if he couldn't figure it out...eventually.

>>30891056
Wasn't this a story that's posted in the last thread?

>>30891171
thats a good story wonder when his gonna post again

>>30890823
>>30890823
Not enough fuck to be a clusterfuck.

> FemAnon finally start getting frisky with BigMac in the barn
> AppleJack stumble on them without getting noticed
> Very pissed off because her crush is about to bang someone else
> Very aroused because stallion on stallion action
> FemAnon remove her short, revealing her "surprise"
> BigMac is paralyzed in shock
> AJ don't know what to think
> Very pissed off because a girl is about to bang her brother
> Still very aroused by FemAnon

>>30891216
Huhh. Come to think it a human female would be ideal for a stallion. Hands, and true empathy. Not that gay friend knockoff brand of empathy either. Plus they don't mind working jobs because human females feel more shit being useless. Inb4 r9k

>>30891458
>>30891458
The sharing via herd part might make the average woman pause though.

File: FANMADE_Princess_Celestia_surprised.jpg (83KB, 640x536px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 640x536px

>Ponies are flooding Celestia with letters.
>It just started pouring in one day.
>'Princess Celestia, Anon ain't got no magic to protect himself from frisky mares always creepin' 'round these parts! Can you fix him up like you did Twilight?'
>'Princess Celestia, I believe Anon may soon fall victim to the DREADFUL deeds of some promiscuous harlot! You simply MUST do something about my darling!'
>'Princess Celestia, can you send me a scroll on your laws concerning cross-species cohabitation and/or marriage? Anon said there are laws against these sort of things, and I really can't argue, as I don't know...'
>Celestia is getting tired of this.
>She doesn't even know who or what an 'Anon' is.
>She makes an unannounced visit to Ponyville.
>The mares are overjoyed, thinking each of their letters have been answered.
>Then Celestia finds out just what an 'Anon' is.
>Hfw
>The ponies of Ponyville are stunned when Celestia starts acting like a stallion around Anon.
>She's like a giggly colt with his first crush.
>Anon is impressed the ruler of Equestria came to see him.
>Now maybe he can get his wish and get a trip to see the dragons he heard about.
>All he is interested in is seeing a fucking dragon.
>Riding a fucking dragon.
>Fucking a fucking dragon.
>Celestia will do anything within her power to win his affection.
>Even take him to see dragons.

>>30891582
Spike doesn't count. Anon wants to see a fuckhueg dragon.

>>30891589
How long until Anon realizes he can make Spike fuckhuge by giving him stuff?
Best part; Anon only needs to give Spike a couple fancy items before he'll start stealing to get even huger!

>>30891688
He also wants to fuck a dragon. Da warm wet pussy.

>>30891589
Of coursh. Maybe Reginald or Basil are still local

>anon in RGREqG
>anon Gropes horsegirls in public transports
>leaves his number in their panties
>changes his numbers regularly
>eventually these girls find each other
>they team up and try to find this hot stud who gave them the time of their lives

>>30891458
Without going into /r9k/ or /pol/ territory : they would be terrible.
> boring vagina that can't milk shit
> body temperature slightly inferior to horse, not great to keep erection
> never going to get satisfied by a two-pump chump

>>30891829
>that can't milk shit
I don't like "milking shit"

>>30891688
>Anon wants to make spike huge.
>But he realizes that he's enabling greed in spike.
>He may want Spike to become big, but Spike is like a little brother to him at this point.
>It doesn't feel nice to make your little brother a kleptomaniac even if it means you get to see a huge dragon.
>Fuck it.
>He can visit the dragon lands some other day.
>He stops giving Spike things, and takes him on road trips.
>He teaches Spike that emotional bonds with ponies and other creatures are more important than material objects.
>He teaches Spike that courage isn't never getting scared, but being brave even when he is scared.
>He teaches Spike that failure is not the end if he learns from it.
>In their journeys, Spike begins collecting rocks, gems, and other assorted baubles.
>Souvenirs that had no monetary value.
>Things that don't even count as treasures.
>But they're treasures to him, and Spike begins to grow once more.
>However, instead of the dyel giant greedy dragon, his form is more muscular, balanced, majestic even.
>His wings unfurled blocks out the sun.
>The change extends to his personality as well, he was more mature, elegant, and well rounded when compared to other dragons.
>Anon looks upon his friend and student, and learns a lesson as well.
>Haste will cause nothing but suffering for all, but patience is always rewarded.
>Dragon suitors come from all over to woo Spike, bringing gifts that could sustain Equestria for a year.
>But he turns them all down, claiming that their treasures are 'worthless'.
>He takes out a small rock, no larger than the hoof of a newborn foal.
>His most prized possession.
>The rock he picked up on his first road trip with Anon.
>Tells the suitors to find him something more valuable than that.
>They all think that the rock represents the entire world.

File: 146293845112.gif (3MB, 610x342px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 610x342px

>>30891837

>>30891837
If you've ever heard of kegels, "milking shit" is exactly why it's done.
And frankly, it makes a world of difference.

File: 1496638712835.jpg (166KB, 1230x921px) Image search: [Google]

166KB, 1230x921px

>>30891914
Oh, so you fucked a girl AND a mare before, you know, to compare

And of course you didn't, if you did, you'd know that the whole 'milking vaginas' is a meme

File: 1396412237466.gif (27KB, 116x160px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 116x160px

>>30892120
>and a mare
Nah, but a girl who knows how to work her inner muscles is much much better than a girl who doesn't.

>>30892120
What? We've been using vaginas to milk our cows for decades now.

>>30892530
I was talking about the 'mares have more controls over her vaginal muscles' bullshit
Of course vaginas work, you and I wouldn't be here if they didn't, Anon

>>30891914
If you like the sensation, then you must love anal.

>>30892536
What kinds of controls? Buttons? Levers? Switches? Levers are the best. Buttons are okay, I guess, as long as they're not the shitty rubber membrane kind.

>>30892606
Buttons. It's a little heart shaped one that pops out when she's interested.

>>30892613
So the milking mechanism starts operating upon gaining interest?

>The Virgin Princess
>Wears a sunhat, public and indoors
>Egghead manecut
>Dyes it too
>Colts get blinded by her castle before they can be invited in
>Won't fuck drunk boys, because she's a nice girl
>Walks them home

>The Trixie Magician
>Great and powerful
>Puts on her robe and wizard hat
>Manestyle made for the spotlight
>Endless colt groupies
>Even apeliens want her
>Walks drunk boys to her wagon
>Wagon is always rockin' (don't come a knockin')

>>30891216
>AJ still thinks her brother's straight.
>Worried she's the gay one now.
>I'm sorry, Ma, you deserve a better daughter than a filly foolin' deviant like me.
>Still can't stop the burning in her Apple core.
>Calls FemAnon upstairs after inviting her to dinner at the farm house.
"AJ, where are you?"
>Door slowly swings shut, revealing Appul horse with strap-on attachment and real bucking action.
>"You're a strong mare, Anon, but I gotta make sure you're good enough for ma brother."
"What?"
>"We're gonna rassle, Anon."

File: 1356370905827.png (22KB, 700x782px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 700x782px

>>30892762
ITS HAPPENING

>>30892554
Nah, texture is better in the front door. Also no prep time needed, so you can be spontaneous.

>>30892840
It's on "NOF time" so give it a couple of hours

>>30892840
That makes me a little sad to see.

But wouldn't normal anon be a trap in this world?

>>30893432
*days

File: 1444514932805.png (28KB, 740x958px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 740x958px

Minotaur stuff incoming

>"I'm telling you Anon, you gotta find someone to settle down with! You know, someone to help with running the saloon and to bring a bit of extra income!"
>Says a Diamond Dog as she munches on her last rib.
>"Psh, With his attitude? I doubt it, plus -I- don't think he's much of a looker."
>You look at the gryphoness sitting across from you, who gives you a wicked grin before taking a large swig of her booze.
"Still better looking than your last mate, Sori."
>The gryphoness in question roars with laughter and elbows the nervous looking minotaur next to her.
>"HA! I'm telling ya, the mouth on this one!"
>Shouts of approval and more laughter followed that remark and you can't help but chuckle along as well, though not noticing the young minotaur saying that she didn't mind your looks.
>You are Anonymous.
>Resident of the frontier in the Minotaur Imperium and owner of the most popular Inn this side of Mino Mesa.
>And goddamn, you hate it when your regulars pester you about finding a signifigant other.
>You have enough to worry about, like getting the passed out ones out the door, entertaining through song and making sure the food, drinks and bits keep flowing.
>The gals here in this frontier town are fun, but damn, they can get a bit rowdy and a bit too grabby when drunk.
>But luckily they can be pretty easy to throw out when they're drunk.
>Especially when you get to scolding them and if that doesn't work, you have your trusty whip, Miss Pauline.

File: 1444343842141.png (129KB, 431x869px) Image search: [Google]

129KB, 431x869px

>>30894337
>That firey attitude ended up giving you a reputation as a force to be reckoned with.
>You didn't really care, in fact, you preferred that reputation as it meant that most wouldn't dare put the moves on you.
>Unfortunately, it only drew in the particularly brave ones.
>You hate the brave ones, they never took that first and most polite "no" for an answer.
>It was those brave ones that ended up getting tossed out the most, much to your regular's enjoyment, especially when they do the occasional tossing.
>Hell, there were bets on how fast the would be suitors would get thrown out.
>Looking to the grizzled old gryhponess adventurer, you grin and fill up her mug right as she slapped down a bit for a refill.
>Old girl was one of your first customers and probably the one you trusted most in this dusty town.
"I'm touched that you're concerned, but you know I've got too much to take care of to dabble in that guff."
>Sori smiled as she gestured towards you with her mug.
>"Yeah, but still, might do you some good. Maybe help tame that wildfire in you."
>Your grin widened as you pushed the bit back towards her.
"Maybe, but not in this lifetime."
>Sori grunts in slight disappointment, much to your amusement.
"Tell you what, this drink and the meal you usually get will be on the house today and I'll try and find a gal tomorrow, but first you have to drag that Diamond Dog under table 3 out the door and wake her up when you leave."
>Rolling her eyes at the near impossible task, the gryphoness picked up the bit and flicked it into an unwashed mug sitting on the counter behind you.
"Ha, thought so."
>Grumbling, the gryphoness went to work at draining her mug.

File: 1479780194709.jpg (55KB, 423x512px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 423x512px

>>30894345
>Looking around the main area of your Inn, you take stock of the current situation.
>All customers who aren't passed out drunk are happily eating their meals with some heading to you to pay for their finished ones before leaving.
>A quick glance at the ledger tells you that all who are staying the night have payed and those who haven't will have to work for that payment the next day.
>After making sure the ones at the bar have a refill you make your rounds gathering up dirty dishes.
>Just your average day at the inn.
>At least, you thought it was, until a large Minotauress walked in and made a beeline towards you.
>In the three years you've been working this inn, people only sought you out only if they wanted something.
>And you could guess what these two wanted.
>Your content mood soured as she approached and the sounds of bet making quietly made it's way to your ears.
>10 bits through the shutter doors, 15 bits that she leaves on her own after getting yelled at, 5 bits out a window and 100 bits that you accept their advances.
>You never know why Sori always bet that 100, because everyone knows it'll never happen.
>The Minotauress gives you that same honey laden look that all the hopefuls give you whenever you head out for a day off or for a walk after closing shop.
>"Hey handsome, need a hand with that? Looks awfully heavy for a bull your size."

File: 1463073116030.png (31KB, 1075x1265px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 1075x1265px

>>30894351
>You grunt.
"Plenty light enough for me thank you, if you want to get something to drink or eat, sit at the bar or one of the tables that doesn't have a GODDAMN DRUNK DIAMOND DOG UNDER IT."
>The passed out Diamond Dog doesn't answer or even budge aside from rolling over, muttering about gems and rubber balls.
>"You sure? Because I can help you clear up nice and quickly, then maybe we can head out somewhere to get to know each other."
"Nope, sorry, but not interested. Now if you don't have any business here, you can head out."
>The Minotaur's face crinkles up at the snub and gets in your way, even going as far as to put her hand on your arm.
>"Come on, let me take you out, it'll be fun~"
>The bar hushes and your regulars 'oooh' as your frown deepens.
>Oh hell no.
>She did NOT just fucking do that.
>Right as you were about to give her the tongue-lashing of the century, the fresh faced Minotauress at the bar seemed to finally find her courage stands and makes her way to the two of you.
>Oh goddamnit, you think, now you've done it. You summoned a goddamn white knight.
>You watch with disappointment as the younger minotaur puts her hand on the brave one's shoulder.
>The brave one looks back, anger flashing in her eyes.
>"Excuse me, but the bull here doesn't seem to want anything to do with you."
>You can't help but feel a little proud of the younger one, admiring her courage despite the slight shaking.
>Though you suspect that's just the characteristic Minotaur berserker fury that filled her after the brave one put her hand on you.
>No red eyes yet, but you know it'll probably happen.

File: 1479778802793.jpg (60KB, 561x488px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 561x488px

>>30894361
>The brave one lets go of you and turns to the challenger, her own eyes starting to turn red.
>"Yeah? And what are you going to do abou-"
CRACK!
>You wince as the smaller one lays a good strike right on the bigger one's muzzle hoping to knock out her target in one hit.
>But alas, as good as that punch was, the lights only flickered and it now dawned on the smaller one that she may have picked a fight that was a little out of her league.
>You have to give her props though, she didn't run and put up her dukes for the continuation right as the bigger one leaped at her.
>The two were locked in combat and were making a mess of the place.
>The Diamond Dog was still somehow snoozing, the regulars were hooting and hollering and yet you weren't amused one bit.
>"Alright, alright! Break it up you two! No fighting in or in front of my business! Now out!"
>Unsurprisingly, they didn't hear and continued to viciously fight with the scuffle making it's way back to the entrance.
>To your own surprise, they actually tumbled out the window with all of your regulars rushing out the door, excited to watch the fight, all the bets forgotten.
>Grabbing your whip, you push through the crowd and watch the fight spill over into the deck of the neighboring shop, then back onto the ground.
>Your own anger bubbling over, you rush over to them and crack your whip, the tip just barely missing their hides.
>The piercing crack spooked the two with the younger one immediately getting to her hooves.

File: Mino.png (608KB, 1024x1303px) Image search: [Google]

608KB, 1024x1303px

>>30894371
"CUT THAT THE FUCK OUT. I WILL NOT HAVE A FIGHT IN FRONT OF MY BUSINESS SCARING OFF ANY CUSTOMERS. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!"
>The bigger one shrinks back a bit at your rage.
>The smaller one, however, looked surprised.
>"B-but I was defending your honor!"
>You couldn't believe what you were hearing.
>Sternly staring her down, you growl.
"My honor, little girl, has been upheld by duchesses, queens, princesses and generals and I don't need some fool calf to do the same. Now unless you yourself want to pay for all this I suggest you do what the other did and get!"
>Looking behind her, the smaller minotaur saw that the bigger one skedaddled before looking back at you.
>At least, she would have looked back at you if you hadn't already stormed back inside, gripping one of your pony regulars by the ear and Sori by a feather and dragging them inside, the others doing the smart thing and following.
>While they themselves would be on the receiving end of your anger for egging it on, they knew you would offer them free drinks and food if they helped clean the place and board up the broken window.

>>30894380
>Unbeknownst to you, aside from all of the amused spectators and frightened males of the town, a pair of Minotaurs from a local garrison happened to be visiting.
>The scuffle and the resolution had piqued quite a bit of curiosity of the larger one and she very much desired to know more.
>"Hey, Zera, you're from this town", she asked, Leaning over to her companion as they watched the "rescuer" dejectedly slink off.
>"Who was that?"
>The companion looked over to her, a knowing grin on her face.
>"That, Mari, was Anon. Owner of the inn that the fight inevitably came from."
>"Huh, where's he from?"
>Zera looked up at her friend after Anon dragged a pair of patrons inside.
>"Last I talked to him, he's from another world. Something just plucked his home from where he was from and plopped him not too far off from here."
>"No shit?"
>"No shit. After the first year of meeting delegates from the capital, including the Empress, mind you, he set up shop right here in my sleepy frontier town."
>Zera rolls her shoulder a bit with a grunt, feeling the weight of her pack and armor after the treck from the station.
>"Brought in a lot of tourism, he did."
>"And a hell of a lot of hopeful mates, especially after he opened up that inn."
>Humming to herself, Maritia nudges her companion, a sly grin on her face.
>"Were you one of those hopefuls?"
>"Ha! At first, believe it or not. I hoped to snag a male before going off to basic, but after the first few got tossed out of that inn, I decided otherwise."
>"Tossed out?"
>"Yeah, turns out he's got a bit of an independent streak with a fiesty attitude to match."
>"Wouldn't have thought so from his size."
>"Many before have thought so too, until they got thrown out, either by rivals or by him himself."

File: 1493345237732.jpg (66KB, 437x437px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 437x437px

>>30894497
so good so far

>>30894497
Keep going cow man

File: Show-accurate Minotits.png (91KB, 640x1031px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 640x1031px

>>30894497

>>30894497
I think you're lost
>>>/trash/

>>30894571
minotaurs,diamond dogs and griffins are present in mlp you idiot.

>>30894497
I fucking LOVE minotaur stuff.

<<30894497
>OCs
>minoshit
Yiff in hell

File: 1490827342979.jpg (18KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 300x300px

>>30894571

>>30894588
>>30894571
Are you aware of the place you are currently in?

File: this negri.gif (3MB, 390x357px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 390x357px

>>30894577
Then by your logic I could write a Winona x Anon right? Or a Cow x Anon?

>>30894606
Both have been done before

>>30894497
>Maritia looked back at the inn, listening to the laughter and banter booming from inside.
>Including a song.
>Which she reckoned was being sung by Anon himself.
>It was a raunchy thing, written purely to entertain, rather than to entice.
>Of course, it was still enticing to her.
>At that moment, the Minotauress decided.
>Looking back at her companion, who was adjusting her pack.
>"So... unclaimed, right?"
>Zera's head whipped up to face her friend, confusion coloring her expression.
>"Yeah. I did say he was very against the idea of female companionship, right?"
>Maritia's sly grin grew.
>"You sure did. Doesn't matter to me though."
>Sputtering, Zera turned to face Maritia, more than a little concerned.
>"Mari, you saw what happened."
>"I did, but I think I can tame him."
>"You have to be kidding me."
>"Zera, my friend, have you known me to be a kidder?"
>"All the godsdamn time since we met. I've known you to be braver than your own good, but damnit, you won't survive this."
>Turning to her comrade and friend, Maritia smiled a smile that Zera had seen hundreds of times before.
>A smile that often times got the both of them in trouble.
>A smile that really made her want to run.
>But being the loyal idiot she was, Zera couldn't run.
>"Alright, what's your plan?"
>Maritia's smile grew ever wider as she threw her arm around Zera and squished her against her side.
>"My plan, Zera, is to tame that bucking bronco by week's end."
>Pure surprise on her face, Zera wriggled her way out of Maritia's arm.
>"Okay, I'm out."
>"What, you don't think I can do it?"
>Zera snorted.
>"I KNOW you won't be able to do it. Maritia, he's rejected taurs, dragons and gryphons waaay above our social standing! Hell, he even rejected the godsdamn Empress herself!"

>>30894602
A board dedicated to the ongoing series My Little Pony.
Or Filly Funtasia if they are alive

>>30894606
Yeah, sure why not? Maybe not Winona but cows can certainly talk and are self aware making them sapient creatures

>>30894614
Then I'll write another brb

>>30894618
>Filly Funtasia
>alive

File: 1479780320608.jpg (68KB, 466x720px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 466x720px

>>30894617
>With a flourish, Maritia moved in front of her friend and leaned towards her, that damnable smile still on her face.
>"Tell you what, let's have a bet. If I do it, you have to color your breastplate pink the next time we head back to the barracks."
>Zera looked at Maritia, slightly interested.
>"And if you fail?"
>"Then I'll wear that sweater you got from your dad last year."
>"Might as well grab that sweater for tomorrow then. Heck, I'll even help you, just to prove that it can't be done even with two taurs working together."
>Maritia laughs and holds out her hand.
>"Fine. Deal?"
>Zera, still confident in her prediction, grabs the offered hand with a grin.
>"Deal."

Grit has some pretty good shows when it's not constantly playing Laramie and Walker: Texas Rangers

>>30894628
i have high expectations

This general should be called REEEversed Gender Roles

>>30894633
I'll try to deliver, I'm more of a drawfag myself.

>>30894639
Nice joke! XD

fuck captchas

>>30894639
Not rgre enough

>>30894618
There are other races than ponies in Equestria
>>30894631
The Young Riders is a pretty good show, also Death Valley Days.

>>30894643
Humanized Winona X Anon when?

>>30894680
no humanized, the only humanized allowed is EQG type, or 'anthros'(fuck anthros it sucks).
humanized winona isn't on EQG so no.

>>30894701
Thanks. now i'm going to write it. Expect 7 parts.

>>30894670
The Young Riders is indeed a pretty good shot!

>Death Valley Days.
Which is where I got the idea from, the episode was called The Wooing of Perilous Pauline

>>30894680
Got me thinking; if dragons become dogs when crossing into EqG, would a regular dog like Winona become a dragon or some other mythical creature?
Like a Dracula?

>>30894724
Spike becomes a dog because he is a pet.

>>30894701
>Anthros
>Allowed
lmao

Winona it's in EQG m8, check the shorts.

>>30894714(Me)
Nice flaseflag fag.

>>30890721
Ok this one got me good, thank you

>>30894571
Get a load of this faggot
>>30894606
Yes you can, and should
>>30894631
Keep up the good cow words friend

File: Oooooooooook.png (44KB, 353x390px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 353x390px

>>30894701
>The only humanized allowed is EQG

File: ugh.jpg (28KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 400x400px

@30894631
>cow
@30894701
>anthro

The absolute state of the thread

>>30894497
Should not want, but i do anyways

>>30894775
Not rgre enough

File: 1460399187479.jpg (118KB, 456x412px) Image search: [Google]

118KB, 456x412px

>>30892762

File: (orgasm).png (332KB, 541x529px) Image search: [Google]

332KB, 541x529px

>the wannabe chad redditors are still at it

>>30891841
This would make an epic back drop to a awesome story

File: IMG_9533.gif (465KB, 400x830px) Image search: [Google]

465KB, 400x830px

>people reeeing at anything None pony or eqg
What's wrong? You'll fuck one animal from mlp but not another?
You anons need milk, that will fix your grumpy mood and build strong bones.
Go ahead faggots
>Touch the cow. Do it now

>>30892762
Fucks sake hurry and save us

>>30894869
Why the fuck do you keep calling everybody wannabe chads? What does that even mean?

>>30895075
Forced meme.

>>30894631
More minotaurs when?

>>30890721
Actually, those characters (not the shitty trap meme pushed about them) could be pretty hilarious.

>These mares won't leave Anon alone.
>No-one believes him when they do shit like break into his home.
>Only Strawberry Sunrise, his caustic best friend, does.
>Applejack ineffectually wants to be Anon's best friend, much to their irritation.

File: what.jpg (25KB, 600x512px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 600x512px

>>30894775
>@

File: 1494690709460.gif (2MB, 457x257px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 457x257px

>>30895257
I dunno, these mares could be pretty fun to have around.

>>30895487
>you'll never be the renault sister's trophy husband
>they'll never parade you in town just to mess with the other mares
>they'll never publicly tease you and praise your sexual exploits in front of an entire crowd

File: 149.png (117KB, 600x572px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 600x572px

>>30895020
K.

So this originally was going to take a few days, because I didn't like a huge chunk of it and deleted it. Luckily with the help of 900mg of caffeine and anther stimulant or two, I cranked this bitch out in like 2 days.

Continued from here https://pastebin.com/4wGMsAch

Gimme a few min and we live

>>30895487
What episode are they from

>>30895476
He thinks they care about a single (you)

File: mlp_applejack_shotgun.jpg (431KB, 1000x782px) Image search: [Google]

431KB, 1000x782px

>>30895580
I am excite. Let the green flow NOF.

>>30895598
S7 E8 - Hard to Say Anything

>>30894631
I really like cow green, it makes me smile. Is it bad that I want Marita to fail?

File: StoryPic.png (3MB, 1440x1080px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1440x1080px

>>30895580
HERE
WE
GO

Promised Land

>The walk through the slowly awakening hamlet of Ponyville is surprisingly calming. Perhaps it’s the nostalgic charm of the rustic town, or it could be as simple as being outside in the fresh, dawn air. Either way, you take the time to savor the simple pleasure.
>With a deep breath, you smile and admire the glimmering morning dew coating the patches of grass between the clean and whole houses.
>A few other ponies are out and about. All of them looked your way, but none drew close enough for you to make out details beyond color.
>’Honestly, I’m kinda glad no one is coming up to us,’ you silently think as you watch a yellow mare across the dirt road trot briskly to an unknown destination. ‘The last thing I want is to run into a pony less reasonable than the girls I’ve already met.’
>A quick glance confirms that your gun is still on your side, just in case.
>You turn your attention to the smiling purple princess at your side, watching her trot a few times for each one of your own strides.
>She moves just like a real pony, just with her motions scaled down to fit an alien form. Her mane and tail bounce slightly with each step and her wings twitch like they want to flap and speed her along. The flesh of her belly and flanks also ripple slightly with each step, providing a subtle ‘realness’ that previously seemed absent.
>The longer your look, the more you realize that the comparison to an earth equine is superficial at best.
>”Anon?”
>Shit, you were staring.

1/x

>>30895697
“Erm. I’m sorry about the staring, Twilight,” you apologize, turning away from her inquisitive face as you do so. “Your kind…” you hesitate, “faintly resemble animals back home, so I guess I got lost in thought thinking about it,” you tell her, deciding to go with the truth.
>”Really?” she asks with a far more curious than perturbed expression.
>’This might be a common theme with her.’
You nod. “Indeed. We even have the same species name for them; ponies. Though, most ponies were selectively bred from horses, a larger equine.”
>Twilight’s eyes sparkle with the new information. After a second, she slows her pace and seems to replay what you just told her. “Whorses?”
>You raise an eyebrow.
“I heard you put a W on that.”
>She nods, seeming unsure. “I did. Anon, what does that word mean?”
>A slow sinking feeling finds its way to the pit of your stomach.
“It’s just the name of a species of equine,” you answer carefully. “I’m really not liking the direction this conversation took…”
>”It’s nothing you did, honest!” Twilight hastily says, relieving some of the sinking feeling. “I think we just ran into a word with differing meanings. Whorse is a grave insult here in Equestria that implies the worst sort of sexual promiscuity. I’ve only ever heard it in genuine arguments.”
>You gulp as the full realization of what just happened hits you.
>Even your words, as innocent as they are, could damn you before you even realized it.
>Reading the library for some sort of cultural guide just jumped up in priority.
“Well, uh…”

2/x

>>30895733
>You scratch the back of your head, unsure of how to proceed.
>”Like I said, Anon. That wasn't your fault,” Twilight says. “It was just a cultural misunderstanding. It’s probably going to happen again, unfortunately.”
>You remain silent.
>Her face melts back into it’s default smile as what you assume to be town hall comes into view. “Here we are!”
>The large circular building must be the largest in Ponyville, the building and the land round it taking up a large part of the south-eastern part of the town.
>You check the sun to confirm your coordinate estimation is right, but recall the… event yesterday and throw out the estimation. Your internal compass will have to do from now on.
>As is polite, you lengthen your stride to reach the front door first so you can open it for your companion.
>Twilight quickly clambers up the wooden steps that you took two at a time, passing you. She then opens the door with her magic, waiting for you to cross first with a wide smile.
>You return the smile with a bit of confusion, but just chalk it up to another cultural thing as you duck slightly to clear the doorway.
>The inside of the hall is exactly what you expected. A rustic waiting room with chairs to sit in and what looks like old magazines scattered around on end tables. Everything is made of wood and shines with the aged clear-coat you’d find on old, but loved furniture. On the walls are several detailed portraits of what you guess are past mayors in decorated gold frames. In the back is a door labeled “Mayor” behind a bored looking caramel-colored pony reading something on her desk, not paying you or Twilight any attention.

3/x

>>30895740
>The sound of the front door closing seems to rouse the mare. “Welcome to town hall,” she starts in an obviously rehearsed and oddly deep voice. “How can I help ...you?”
>The pony looks up from what she’s reading, showing a more squared muzzle and wider shoulders than Twilight or any of her friends.
>Hold on…
>The voice, the stocker appearance…
>Is this a stallion? You keep silent, hoping to find out.
>But the probable stallion just gapes at you, making the urge to fidget unbearable.
>Twilight clears her throat. “Erm, Toffee? We’re here to see the mayor? We had an appointment.”
>You look down, noticing a nametag on the desk saying “Mr Toffee - Aide” on it.
>Mister. So this guy is a stallion, The first one you’ve seen.
>Toffee shakes his head and cuts off his stare. “Gracious! How rude of me!” he exclaims, his ears pinned back. “I’m so sorry princess and…and...”
“Anonymous,” you supply, trying to put on a reassuring smile as you talk. “And it’s fine. I doubt this will be the last time I get funny looks.”
>Your words don’t appear to help as the stallion just looks more devastated by his own mistake.
>Luckily Twilight comes to the rescue. “Is the mayor ready to see us?” she asks, swiftly changing the subject. “I’m sure the mayor will be busy as a bee here soon and we’re already a bit late.” she says with a short ruffle of her wings.

4/x

>>30895743
>Toffee takes a dramatic breath and calms himself. “Yes, Princess. The mayor actually requested to speak with you privately first, if that’s okay,” he says, sending you a sidelong glance.
>That makes you more nervous than it should.
“I’ll be fine out here for a few minutes,” you tell both ponies halfheartedly. “I don’t imagine that an extra talk could take too long.”
>Twilight looks back to you with a worried expression. “Are you sure? I would have no problem letting you in with us.”
“I’ll be fine,” you reassure.
>The princess doesn't seem terribly convinced, but doesn't pursue the subject. “Okay. I’ll be back shortly,” she says as she trots the the door behind Toffee’s desk.
>You shrug off your pack and settle in the too-small chair closest to the front desk as the door clicks shut, muffled female voices following after.
>The large room falls into an uneasy silence, broken only by the ticking of a wall clock.
>Toffee tries to go back to what he was reading behind his desk, but the stallion’s eyes keep slowly wandering back to you before he catches himself. His large orbs are filled with countless questions just barely being held back.
>You just twiddle your thumbs and try to will away your rising discomfort.
>A full, maddening minute passes.
>Toffee suddenly clears his throat, nearly making you jump. “Sooooo, visiting from far away? I don't think I’ve ever met a…”
>He pauses, waiting for you to finish.
“A human,” you provide. “And far away? Yeah, that’s a good way to say it,” you say as you straighten up on your chair then ruefully remark; “It was an unexpected trip though, and I have no idea how I’m getting home.”

5/x

>>30895748
>The stallion seems to pick up on the unspoken desire to drop the subject. “Well hun, I think you’ll like Ponyville,” he says with a smile. “We’re not the biggest, the best, the richest, or anything really. But you’ll have no shortage of new friends. In fact, how about you and I become friends?”
>You look up at the smiling pony with suspicion, idly filing away the ‘hun’ comment..
>’He went from looking like one fright away from a scream to suddenly wanting to be friends. Again, these little ponies confuse the shit out of me.’
“Sure,” you begin, cornered by the request. “I’d enjoy that.”
>Toffee beams. “Great! Us guys gotta stick together, after all. Ugh, I think there’s all of thirty stallions in town.”
>You raise an eyebrow at the interesting tidbit of info, but mentally jot it down without comment.
>He reaches over his desk with a hoof extended and an expectant look on his face.
>’He wants a handshake er, a hoofshake I guess?’
>Your first thought is to reject the gesture, but…
>’I have no idea how poorly that would reflect on me. That could be a slap in the face to him for all I know.’
>With great reluctance, you reach out and lightly take hold of the outstretched limb, giving it a gentle shake and making Toffee giggle before quickly pulling away.
>’His fur is impossibly soft,’ you absently think.
>”I know we both already know each other’s names, but it wouldn't be a proper friendship without a proper introduction, sooooo. My name is Toffee, and I’m the mayor’s aide,” he says, beaming joyfully.
“Anonymous, or Anon for short, and I’m unemployed,” you reply lightly.
>Toffee rolls his eyes playfully and flicks an ear. “Hun, the whole job thing is overrated anyway.”
“I hear that.”

6/x

>>30895752
>Before your latest companion can continue, the door the mayor’s office opens and Twilight, followed by another, older looking mare with half-moon spectacles exit.
>”Thank you for entertaining my request, Princess,” the older pony thanks Twilight before she turns to you, a calm expression on her face. “Hello, Anonymous. I’m Mayor Mare. I understand you’ll be staying in Ponyville as a new citizen at Princess Celestia’s behest.”
You nod an affirmative. “That I am, ma’am. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me.”
>“There’s no need for the ‘ma’am’ my dear. Just mayor works if you insist on being formal,” the mayor waves you off, but her smile grows just a bit. “I’ve reviewed all the paperwork, and now all we need is a photo. Toffee, can you get the camera please?”
>The stallion seems surprised and then a bit sour at the request, but nonetheless stands briskly and trots off with a ”Right away mayor!”
>Twilight and the mayor share a look, both minutely shaking their heads before returning their attention back to you.
>”He might be a moment,” Mayor Mare says, starting the conversation back up. “Mister Anonymous, as a citizen, you gain the rights to vote, own land, hold office, and are both bound and protected by the laws of Equestria. That’s a very abridged version of your rights, but Princess Twilight said you were interested in some self-study.”
>You note how Twilight didn’t ask the mayor to drop her title.
>”So I thought I would leave it to you so you may learn everything at your own pace,” Mayor Mare says with a smile.
You push your thoughts out and return the smile. “Thank you, mayor. Really.”

7/x

File: 1425700587310.png (1MB, 7000x7000px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 7000x7000px

>>30895757
>SLAM!
>You stand and whirl around to the sound in a single movement, making both Twilight and the mayor jump at the sudden action.
>Annnnd you got jumpy for nothing, as the sound was just Rainbow Dash being too forceful with the front door.
>The colorful mare zips past your little group to hover over Toffee’s desk, scanning it for something with growing frustration on her face. Finally, she groans and turns around, locking eyes with the mayor
>”Where the hay are the weather schedules for this week?” The pegasus all but demands. “They weren’t in my office inbox and my team is already late for today.”
>”I’m not sure, Rainbow,” the older mare replies, taking the rude non-greeting in stride. “The postmare already made her round here this morning, so Cloudsdale must be sending them late.”
>Rainbow groans again. “Perfect, now I have to make one. Yay paperwork…”
>”They’re under my desk!”
>Everyone turns to the voice, finding Toffee trudging back in with an old camera on a tripod tucked under one foreleg. He sets the camera down with a huff and turns to Rainbow. “The mailmare was running late, so she left them here to be sent to you later.”
>Rainbow rolls her eyes a mutters something derogatory about crossed eyes under her breath, reaching under the desk as she does so. Her hooves return with a stack of papers.
>After glancing over the papers, she sends Toffee a smile. “Thanks hot-stuff.”
>For a reason you're not sure of, the stallion purses his lips at the flirt. “You’re welcome. Now if you don't mind, we were in the middle of finalizing Anon’s citizenship,” he snips
>The pegasus looks up from the schedules, finally noticing you and Twilight, making a grin break out into her face. “Heya Anon, Twi. Whatcha gals going here?”
>You smile a little when Toffee facepalms (facehoofs?) behind her.

8/x

>>30895765
“Just getting my papers finished, Rainbow. All I need is a picture.”
>”What are ya doing after that?”
>You send a glance over to Twilight.
>”We’re not on any set schedule after this,” the purple princess helpfully interjects.
With a nod, you turn back to Rainbow. “Well, I did promise Rarity a visit if I have time, so I guess that’s next. After that, we’ll see.”
>”Boooooring!” the flying pony exclaims distastefully. “Talking about clothes over tea is not my idea of a good time.
“Clothes and tea, huh?” you muse aloud. “It does sound a bit dull, but I wouldn't mind doing something calm for once.”
>Rainbow’s face falls into a thoughtful frown. “Well... If you’re gonna do that, I guess I should pass the schedules out first, then I’ll join after,” the pegasus grumbles, going back on her earlier disagreement.

--------------------------

>You step out of the town hall with Twilight in tow, absently flipping the little card in your hand as you do so.
>It’s just a simple plastic ID card like one would expect. It has your name, your address (the library currently), your photo, and a unique ID code.
>The little spot for a cutie mark picture is marked “N/A” and other details like your date of birth and blood type were omitted since they didn’t match the Equestrian standard. They did get your weight and height, though. Curiously, Equestria uses the metric system.
>If what the mayor said is true, the little thing is similar to a social security card back home and should be stashed somewhere safe when not in use.
>But what interested you the most was the machine that made the card.
>The ID printer was similar to ones you’ve seen in old DMV offices and was decidedly out of place in Ponyville.
>Unfortunately, you didn't get the chance to ask anything before the mayor hoofed you the card and was promptly spirited away to a meeting with a wealthy looking stallion.

9/x

>>30895768
>You lace your fingers over your head in a stretch and groan contently when your shoulders and back loudly go *Pop pop pop!*
>”Eug…” Twilight’s fur stands on end and her back arches at the sound. She sort-of looks like a cat. “Are you alright? That didn’t sound healthy.”
“I’m fine,” you smile just a bit, hiding your mirth at her reaction. “Can ponies not pop their joints?”
>”Not like that,” she admits. “What did you do?”
“I just stretched until gas caught in the fluid of my joints bubbled, making the sound. It’s sounds nasty, but feels great,” you explain. “That’s only a half-recalled explanation, though. So, Rarity’s?”
>”This way!”
>You pocket your ID card and follow the westward trotting princess once again, feeling lighter than you had been earlier.
>’Much of what I feared initially has not come to pass,’ you think, looking up and watching a pair of lavender colored pegasi gracefully glide by overhead. ‘This place is crazy as shit, yet I’m still in one piece and have one of the highest authorities around on my side now. Is it luck? How much longer is that luck going to last?’
>You look back down and grimace a moment later. ‘Not long, apparently.’
>The once deserted morning streets are slowly becoming more crowded with hoof-traffic as the sun climbs higher in the sky. Between several houses is a road intersecting the most densely packed street. Market stalls are manned, ponies of all colors wander to-and-fro between them, the dull roar of conversation fills your ears, and multiple pinpricks of pressure touch your yet-to-be-named 6th sense.
>A crowd. The last thing you wanted.

10/x

File: 1492328750372.png (623KB, 1040x1050px) Image search: [Google]

623KB, 1040x1050px

>>30895779
>”Here is the main market street,” your purple guide says. “You can get just about everything here. Food, sundries, magic supplies, you name it. We’ll cut through here to get to the Carousel Boutique.” she exclaims with a wide smile. Her smile quickly falls a second later. “Anon? Are you alright?” Twilight asks, stepping a bit closer.
“H-heh. I’m fine, Twilight,” you reply.
>’Fuck. Is my voice wavering?’
>You look down at your suddenly sweaty, shaking palms and take a breath, calming the tremors running up and down your body.
“Just fine…”
>”Anon, we can go the long way around if you’re feeling anxious,” Twilight quietly assures you. “I don't want you doing anything you feel you're not ready for. I know that a quiet evening in the library with friends and the morning market are two totally different things. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable here…”
>She tenderly places a hoof on your thigh in what you assume is comfort, but you have to force back the urge to slap the limb away.
>You take a slow, deep breath and let the out air out of your nose in a low hiss.
“It’s best if we just do it now, Twilight. I wasn’t a fan of large groups back home and this is definitely worse, but I’ll have to do it eventually,” you grumble.
>Sometimes, being an adult sucks.
>”Alright…” Twilight replies with an unhappy frown, “but I want you to let me know if you want to leave.”
>You just cross your arms and reluctantly nod.
>At your non-verbal reply, the alicorn slowly leads you closer to the market street.

11/x

File: 1456817547970.png (300KB, 894x777px) Image search: [Google]

300KB, 894x777px

>>30895787
>At your non-verbal reply, the alicorn slowly leads you closer to the market street.
>Every step is a bit more dread welling up inside you, but the last of bit time before you face the crowd is used well.
>Your eyes dart between the alleyways lining the large street, holes in the crowd, and the occasional low overhang or stacked objects you could climb up to the rooftops with.
>’Most of the buildings are low enough that I could jump and drag myself up if I wasn’t in full gear,’ you think to yourself. ‘I need to find a secure place to store my junk. A magic proof place if such a thing exists.’
>”Nine bits for one bunch of puny bananas?! That's highway robbery!”
>Your eyes gravitate to the source of the sound.
>The alleyway comes to an end right next to a fruit stand, where a disgruntled green unicorn stands with a beige coated, blue-and-pink maned earth pony. Behind the stand itself is an impatient looking mare in an apron.
>The Earth pony rolls her eyes. “Lyra, it’s not that big of a deal,” she says before turning to the vender. “Five bits.”
>The fruit vender face scrunches up like she just did a full-mouth bite into a lemon. “Five bits? Are you joking? I’ll give you eight.”
>”You’ve got to be the one joking here,” Lyra replies, her own muzzle scrunched up. “Make it six.” She turns her eyes away from the fruit mare for a second, glancing at you before returning her gaze forward.
>An instant later, Lyra whips her shocked face towards you so fast it’s a wonder she didn't break her neck.
>The still unnamed earth pony does the same thing, giving you a sidelong look that quickly transforms into surprise.
>The eerily human expressions and sudden attention would have made you gulp if your throat didn't just constrict itself.

>>30895798
>”Hey, you two going to buy something or are going to keep making faces at meeeeee…” the mare running the stall pokes her head out and locks onto you as well, her jaw slowly dropping as she trails off.
>Twilight stops and frowns at all three. You can see a verbal lashing already warming up in her mouth.
“Good morning,” you quickly greet past the lump in your throat, stopping Twilight from potentially making a scene.
>Strangely, all three of the mares visibly relax at the sound of your voice, but don’t drop their looks.
>“Erm, morning?” Lyra greets back with an awkward smile.
>Her earth pony companion just stares until Lyra’s elbow jabs her side. “Ow, Lyra!”
>”It’s rude to stare, Bonbon.”
>”It’s a cunt move to put your elbow into my lung.”
>”I wouldn’t need to be a cunt of you weren’t one in the first place!”
>”Goddess, you’re the worst.”
>”Suck my clit.”
>...
>Your brows furrow together. What the actual fuck did you just stumble into?
>You glance down at Twilight, but the flat expression she's wearing tells you all you need to know.
>An immature chuckle almost bubbles out of you as the pair of mares trade dirty insults.
>”-like the huge dyke that you are.”
>”That’s hilarious coming from you. Remember band camp?”
>”Buck off. That doesn't count.”
>Your hand rises to your mouth to cover your smile and your apprehension fades the more the mares talk.
>It’s like the arguments you and Nito used to have.
>”Are you two going to buy something or are you going to curse up a storm in front of my stand, a princess, and a... stallion?” The now scowling fruit vender cuts in, stopping Lyra and Bonbon. “You’re going to scare away real customers.”

13/x

>>30895801
>The vender mare turns to Twilight and you with an apologetic smile. “Your Majesty, sir, I’m sorry about these two nitwits. They do this every time they come to shop here.”
>”Not a nitwit…” Lyra grumbles under her breath.
>Twilight waves away the fruit vendor's apology with a smile and starts walking again, prompting you and the pair of mares follow.
>With a sigh, you try to focus on the conversation over the stares and the quieting crowd.
>As you walk, Twilight turns to the two extra mares, her face decidedly neutral. “Lyra? Bonbon? Do you two have to argue over everything? I had a father a few days ago come to me saying you were letting an argument turn foul in the park near some foals.”
>Your focus on the conversation doubles in an instant.
>Is foul language worthy of punishment here? Are other restrictions on what you can say? The thought makes you bite your lip. Minding your words is one thing, but if that goes deeper into restricting certain types of speech...
>Luckily, your worry is unfounded with Twilight’s next words; “There’s no real punishment for doing it, but can you please not? Some ponies are bypassing the guards and mayor directly to me. I don’t mind helping ponies, but…” She leans in close and lowers her voice, “inane complaints about cursing cut into time I could be using elsewhere.”
>Lyra gives a mock salute while Bonbon just rolls her eyes. “Gotcha, bosslady. No staining virgin ears,” Lyra says with a grin and a wink. “So, who's your friend?”
>And all the attention is back on you.

14/x

>>30895804
You clear your throat and try to wet your dry mouth. “My name is Anonymous, or Anon for short. I’m a friend of Princess Twilight, who is graciously letting me stay with her during my visit,” you say, trying to keep your intro as bland and inoffensive as possible for the. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” you finish with a smile.
> Didn’t trip over your words or feet. Nailed it. Probably.
>Lyra’s smile grows even larger. “As you probably heard, the sexy mint mare before you is named Lyra. The grump’s name is Bonbon.”
>Bonbon scowls. “Now listen here you little shi-”
>The princess at your side clears her throat loudly, making Bonbon’s words halt.
>Again, you crack the smallest of smiles at the antics. One could almost think that these little equines aren’t impossible reality warpers.
>The talking lapses into silence that rapidly turns uncomfortable.
>’Why did they have to stop talking? Keep going. Please distract me.’
>The stares and hushed whispers pull at your attention, stretching it out so far that focusing on any one thing is impossible. The flares of unsettling pressure around you still fire off in startling contrast to your other senses, like harsh pokes to your head from in invisible hand.
>Sound begins to fade, replaced with an incessant ring in your ears and an undertone of your own heartbeat. The sea of little aliens watching, judging, thinking, all in ways you can't predict.
>’Just one foot in front of the other, man. Keep walking. It’ll get better.’
>Each stride of your legs lasts an eon, and the road never seems to shorten.
>’I should have listened to Twilight and bitched out.’

15/x

File: 1462731116600.jpg (111KB, 719x960px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 719x960px

>>30895813
>Lyra and Bonbon start talking again, but their voices are muffled by the din in your own ears.
>Walk, walk, walk, just move forward.
>Lyra and Bonbon bid a farewell as they break off, heading down a sidestreet, not that you notice much.
>Finally, what you can only assume to be the boutique comes into view. The building is both tall and colorful, matching what you know of Rarity well.
>But most importantly of all, the boutique is outside of the crowded street.
>Like with town hall, Twilight pulls ahead to knock on the door. Nary a moment later, the doorknob glows blue and the door swings in, revealing a smiling Rarity.
>”Twilight! Anonymous!” Rarity exclaims over the subsiding ring in your head.
>The unicorn steps forward and Twilight meets her halfway, both mares meeting in a brief but affectionate nuzzle.
>Rarity steps back and looks at you searchingly, not dropping her delighted expression. Her face slowly falls after a moment. “Anonymous? You’re pale and shaking. Are you feeling alright?”
>’What?’
“What?”
>You blink and look down at your hands, just now noticing the violent tremors in them. The rest of your body is similarly shaking.
>’Should have gone the long way…’
“Oh. I guess I am shaking…” You murmur.
>”Please dear, come inside and sit down,” the white mare urges. “Just take a moment to relax.”
“That’s alright, Rarity,” you wave her off with a weak smile. “The crowded market threw me off a little, that’s all. I’ll get used to it.”

16/x

>>30895827
>She shakes her head, making her violet curls bounce. “I would not call that ‘thrown off a little’, dear. I will not claim to be a xenobiology expert, but that looked distinctly like a building panic attack.”
>You look away at the floor.
>Rarity turns her attention to Twilight. “What I’m wondering is who let it happen in the first place,” she says, her expression flat.
>The Princess’s eyes go wide and she desperately looks up at you.
“I’m the one who wanted to do it, Rarity. Twilight tried to talk me out of it. It’s best to get it over with and get used to it now since I have no idea how long I’ll be here in Equestria,” you explain with a shrug.
>The unicorn doesn't seem happy if her furrowed brows and pursed lips are anything to go by. “Very well, I suppose it’s not my place to protest. I just ask that you don’t push yourself, darling. I cannot even fathom how huge a change this must be for you.”
>She looks up at you with large, emotional eyes. “Please promise me you won’t.”
>’Please don’t look at me with the watery eyes.’
>Try as you might, you can’t simply dismiss the soulful plead like you wanted. Not with the look she’s giving you.
You sigh. “I promise.”
>Rarity does a 180 in the blink of an eye. “Wonderful!” she replies with a beaming smile. “Do come in. I’ve so looked forward to your visit. Has our local princess tried to pick your brain yet?”
“Not yet. I haven’t seen the room-length scroll yet this morning,” you say, words coming easier now that you’re indoors. “Something tells me it’s a matter of time though,” you finish, taking a look around.

17/x

File: carousel_boutique_downstairs_e_by_adamlhumphreys-d48ef1v.jpg (105KB, 1185x674px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 1185x674px

>>30895831
>The boutique is huge on the inside and made to impress. Various pony mannequins dressed in finery fit for nobles run along the walls under lights. Some even incorporate jewels of ludicrous size. The high ceiling gives a very roomy feeling, and the small runway in the center of the room further legitimizes the boutique feeling.
>Rarity must be yet another powerful or influential mare.
>”I’m not that bad…” Twilight grumbles as she shuts the door behind you and herself. “You act like you’re not curious.”
>”Oh, I am. But a gentlemare knows there is a time and place for such inquires,” Rarity says with a jokingly haughty sniff. “Like now.”
>Both mares share a laugh as Rarity leads the group down a hallway off the main room and into a sunny sitting room with a tea set already on the table.
>Both the mares hop into a seat with ease, while you have to tuck your knees under the table and take off your pack again to sit across from Rarity and to Twilight’s left.
>”So, Anonymous,” Rarity begins as she quickly serves three cups of tea with her magic. “How are you liking Equestria so far? I know you’ve only been here for a day, but I certainly hope the time has been tolerable at least.”
“It’s been… different,” you reply absently, thinking over the last turbulent 24 hours. “Not bad, but not what I expected.” You stare at the slowly rising steam of your teacup as you think. “This isn't the line of questioning I expected. Since you're a fashionista, is kind of expected you to open with…”
>”A discussion on your clothes?” She finishes with a smile and a light shake of her head. “I get that more often than you think. Fashion may be my calling in life, but it’s not the only topic I enjoy discussing.”
>You nod. Makes perfect sense.

18/x

>>30895847
>”Though, I would certainly be interested in the challenge making you a wardrobe would entail,” she tacks on. “I’m glad your time here isn’t an awful experience for you,” Rarity continues. “Nopony is sure how long you’ll be staying with us, but I can only hope they you’ll grow to enjoy it.”
You give the mare a bittersweet smile. “There are things and people awaiting me back home. Not much, but enough that I miss them. If I end up liking it here, won’t that make it that much harder to leave?” You ask, trying to gauge her with her response.
>Rarity “Hmm’s” into an otherwise silent sip of her tea. “Maybe, but there is no place like home. I think you’ll find your way there. Whether your time here is long enough for a grand tale, or short enough to just be a footnote in your life, we’ll remember you as a friend either way, and I hope you think the same of us,” she finishes with a light smile.
>Twilight grins and adds her own “Mm-Hm!”
>You can’t help but blink at the strangely genuine comment. It’s so unexpected that a pocket of warmth blooms in your chest.
“Erm, thank you both. I mean it,” you say, looking away to hide your awkward smile.
>Both of the mare’s smiles grow.
>The conversation takes a lighter turn. Rarity leads for most of it between sips of her tea, talking dramatically of fickle customers in Canterlot, the capital. Whenever a lull opens up, Twilight speaks, telling of just how she too knows the exasperation of dealing with Canterlot in the wake of her new royal duties. It leaves you with some time to listen and, dare you say it? Relax just a bit.

19/x

>>30895856
>”He may have been rather rude in her wording of his order, but watching his eyes light up when he came to pick it up simply made my day,” Rarity finishes a tale with smile.
>Twilight rolls her eyes, but her lips are upturned as well. “Related to Caramel by any chance?”
>Both the mares share a short laugh before Twilight turns to you. “So Anon, what did you do earth? We’ve been sitting here talking about ourselves,” her smile turns sheepish, “...without giving you any time to talk.”
You set down your now empty teacup before you answer. “It’s fine, Twilight. I’m content to listen most times,” you tell her, dismissing her concern. “As for what I did on earth...” You stop to think it over.
>’Some things I wish didn’t have to.’
You close your eyes and scowl, banishing the stray thought. “Well, I was in my second year of university still trying to figure out a direction in my life. A decent scholarship and a government program got me in with a near full-ride. I never really got to pick a major before some… Unforeseen events took place.” Your scowl deepens. “That was a few years ago and I’ve sort-of been a drifter ever since.”
>’’Drifter’ is the understatement of the year.’
>You open your eyes back up to to surprised expressions from Rarity and Twilight, as if they didn't expect such an answer.
>Both jump when you look at them and quickly share a glance.
>”Anonymous, we’re terribly sorry if that drudged up unpleasant memories,” Rarity apologizes with a sullen frown. “We didn’t know…”
“I don’t mind, really,” you say with a sigh. “It was a defining time in my life, and I can’t really change it. Would you go back and change something that shaped you if it wasn’t exactly a good time?”

20/x

>>30895859
>”I think I can answer for both Rarity and I,“ Twilight starts, looking between her own wings and her alabaster friend with a pondering expression. “We’ve had our own share of adventures over the last year or two that we didn't enjoy, but wouldn't go back and change.”
>The Princess looks up at you, the same fire in her eyes from the previous night. “After all, we’re defined by our history and experiences.” The intense look on Twilight fades, now replaced with a tilt of her head. “Wait… Anon, when you hit that rough patch, did you not have a mare to…” she stops short and looks away, readjusting her resting wings in a gesture you can't place.
You raise an eyebrow. “A mare to..?”
>CAUTION LEFT
>The words die on your tongue as your instincts flare, making your head snap left.
>Right in time for Rainbow Dash smack face-first into the window with a “Whump!”
>The mares and yourself all flinch, but for different reasons.
>Twilight because she’s probably worried about her friend being injured.
>You because of your general aversion to loud noises. The urge to jump out of your seat was also suppressed.
>And Rarity…
>The window is gently opened with Rarity’s light blue magic, making Rainbow comically squeak across the glass. The pegasus slides down, catching the windowsill with her forelegs as she blinks the stars from her vision.
>”Rainbow,” Rarity says with deceptive gentleness, “why do you feel the need to test the strength of my windows so often?”
>The pegasus mare sniffs and rubs her red snout. “I dunno. Why don't you leave your windows open?”
>”I can think of a few reasons…” Rarity remarks dryly. “Like keeping pesky pegasi out.”

21/x

>>30895869
>Rainbow puffs up at the jab. Literally. The fur on her chest puffs out and her wings rise off her sides as of to flap. “Oh yeah?”
>”Indeed,” the unicorn confirms. “Please use the door like everypony else.”
>Pressure. More than Rarity has been producing.
>The window starts to close, but Rainbow vanishes without even a blur. An instant later, the room reverberates with a dull ‘boom’ as the pegasus materializes next to Rarity, who lets out a startled squeak as she's buffeted by the displaced air.
>”Rainbow, please! Must you?” Rarity cries with scowl. The white unicorn conjures a small crude mirror in her magic and looks at her disheveled mane with slumped withers.
>Rainbow just snorts and badly muffles her laughs behind her hooves before sticking her tongue out at her friend.
>Too bad she never saw the magic band form around her extended tongue.
>“Ach! Wawity!” Rainbow flails, trying to pull away with little success. The smirking unicorn lets her trapped friend growl and loudly slur a promise of retribution before finally letting go.
>Inwardly you mull over the magic display. Rarity can apparently make reflective surfaces and has enough control to grasp delicate things without damaging them.
>And Rainbow’s speed had to be magic assisted. The sudden pressure flare tipped you off to that much. Plus, there’s no way she can move faster than an eye can track and come to a total stop an instant later otherwise. Idly, you wonder why she didn’t stop before hitting the window.
>Twilight’s lecture on magick elements and talents comes back to mind.
>Odd stuff, magic.

22/x

File: 914873__safe_artist-colon-xieril_edit_edited+screencap_screencap_rainbow+dash_animated_behaving+like+a+bird_chest+fluff_eyes+closed_grin_impossibly+lar.gif (130KB, 273x299px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 273x299px

>>30895874
>Rainbow settles into the seat to your left between you and Rarity with a grumble.
>Twilight rolls her eyes at the display, but her smile tells you all you need to know about the dynamic. “Nice to see you too, Rainbow. I didn't think you’d actually want to show up.”
>”Pffft, and miss the chance to hangout with an alien?” the pegasus says like the choice is obvious. “When am I going to get this chance again?”
“Tomorrow, probably. And some time after that,” you tell her with an amused smile. “I get the feeling that precise dimensional travel isn’t something done in a day, even with magic.”
>You glance over to Twilight, who nods.
>Even if you already knew about your indefinite stay, the confirmation only sours your mood a bit.
>”Great! Then we have more time to hang out!” Rainbow exclaims with a grin. An instant later, her words catch up with her. “Er, I mean, it’s not great that you’re stuck, but, well…” she fumbles, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof.
“I get what you’re trying to say,” you interrupt as kindly as you can, “and the thought is appreciated. I won’t turn down more friends,” you tell her with a smile.
>’Especially powerful and important ones. I may not like personal debts, but rejecting good connections helps no one.’
>Rainbow’s eyes light up. “Awesome! We’ll have a blast, I promise!”
“I’m certain.”
>Again, the conversation drifts back into more lighthearted topics, with Rainbow taking charge and regaling the whole group (but mostly you) on her athletic triumphs. Neither Rarity or Twilight seems overly impressed, but the petite pegasus’s tales certainly keep your attention. Attention the she gladly preens under.

23/x

File: er51g5e1ff.png (391KB, 900x900px) Image search: [Google]

391KB, 900x900px

>when you nut but he keeps greening

>>30895884
“A Rainboom?” you question skeptically.
>”Yes!” Rainbow Dash says with a wide grin. “The Sonic Rainboom. The greatest flying technique I’ve got, and I’ve got a lot of em. It’s my magna… Mago… Magoim…”
>”Magnum Opus,” Twilight helpfully supplies.
>”Yeah, that!”
>You level the colorful mare with a narrow-eyed look, but her excitement doesn't dwindle.
“So if I’ve got this right, you fly so fast and trail so much magic that physics just sorta dips and says “nah man”, letting you make an explosion of rainbow light and move even faster?” you question, loosing your practiced formal tone in the face of yet another magic absurdity.
>“Yup!”
>You’re silent for just a moment, but in that time Rainbow finally starts to wilt, her ears flicking and her ecstatic grin slowly falling.
>She seems to be waiting for a positive answer.
“Alright, that does sound really cool,” you admit with a small smile, making the pegasus athlete nearly burst at the seams with joy.
>’I’ll still need to see a real “Rainboom” to totally believe it, however. I don’t care that magic is common here’
>”The coolest!” She exclaims, eyes sparkling and wings twitching like she wants to fly. “After me and Applejack do our bravest pony competition in a few days, I’ll have the whole day off. We can head out into the woods together and I can show you my stuff!”
>Rarity’s eyes bug out and she nearly chokes on some inhaled tea while Twilight goes beat red in an instant.
>“R-rainbow! Would you listen to what you're implying!? Right in front of a male, no less!” the Princess forces out.
>The mare in question leans back away from the irate alicorn. “What? What did I say? I don’t get it.”
>Hell no.

24/x

>>30895887

“So what’s this ‘bravest pony’ competition you were talking about?” You swiftly ask, changing the topic before your own cheeks could turn red.
>’That’s some imagery I didn’t need...’
>Rainbow blinks at the abrupt subject swap, but answers anyway. “I bet Applejack I was braver than her, she said she was the braver pony, so we turned it into a competition with a buncha events. We gotta wait for one of the beekeepers to get back to us for the bee suit challenge.”
“Bees?” you ask with a raised eyebrow. “Other challenges I understand, but bees? Is that safe? Last I recall, bees are temperamental and their stings are more than a little painful.”
>Rainbow just smirks. “It’s all good. I’m no wuss so a little pain is fine. Besides, the point is to not freakout and get stung anyway.”
>”You have bees on Earth, Anon?” Twilight chimes in with interest. “Are they the same as Equestrian bees? Do they make honey? Are there any other similarities you’ve noticed?”
You nod. “Yes, yes, and a surprising number, actually. Much of the flora and fauna I’ve noticed so far is either the same or mimics Earth’s so well that distinguishing with just a glance is impossible. A number of more mundane things match as well. I’d even go as far as to say that Equis and Earth are close parallels...Well, relatively speaking,” you say, waving your hand in a ‘so-so’ motion. “Just interchange ponies and humans, and the differences would be negligible sans the use of magic and culture. Once I’ve seen a bit more, I might be able to draft up a list for you.”


25/x

>>30895893
>The princess’s delight at the new info is plain on her face, making Rarity giggle and Rainbow groan past a tea cookie. “Come on, Twi. Don’t make Anon do nerd stuff. He doesn't deserve that,” she says, throwing crumbs on the table.
>”Rainbow dear pleeeease chew your food!”
>The pegasus lets out an unladylike grunt and swallows the dry confection.
>”It’s not nerd stuff!” Twilight whines with a stomp of her hoof, making her chair shake. “This is legitimate scientific discussion and cultural exchange! A whole new world with their own discoveries and sciences that may have developed totally differently to that of Equestria’s. Who is to say that something common on one world was missed by the other? We’ve got a smart stallio-er, man like Anon here to give up a glimpse into it all. How can you not be excited?! I’ve got so many empty notebooks and scrolls that need filled!” She nearly yells, vibrating in her seat all the while.
You lean back and give Rarity a pleading look. “Does this happen er, often?”
>”Every so often, yes.” she casually answers, pouring herself more tea.
“Well shit…” you mumble, but Rainbow apparently hears if her sudden giggles are anything to go by.
>”Save it for another time. Let’s go outside and do something,” the prismatic mare says. In a flash, her hooves are on your collar.
>You blank out.
>The flying mare’s eyes go wide and she moves away, but the backhanded fist still clips her muzzle with a single knuckle, sending her spiraling end over end to the floor where she lands with a loud THUD!.
>”RAINBOW!” “RAINBOW!”

26/x

>>30895899
>Twilight and Rarity are up in an instant and by the fallen mare’s side, who groans pitifully.
>You blink and look at the small spot of crimson on your hand, feeling all your insides clench.
>One day. One day and you’ve fucked up.
>”A-Anon! Why did you do-” Rarity’s shaking voice is cut of when Rainbow explodes from her spot on the floor and into the air.
>Here it comes. You won’t even be able to draw your gun in time.
>”WHAT IN TARTARUS-” the pegasus starts so loud that the windows rattle, “WAS THAT FOR!?” she roars just out of reach of your arms with a withering glare focused dead on you.
>Her words and visage said only one thing.
>Talk. And talk now.
“Look, that was... I didn’t...” you grasp for words, your mind going blank as your eyes lock onto the bleeding split on Rainbow’s lip.
>You did that. You attacked a national hero and celebrity.
>’Game over. There goes the luck I thought about earlier, right out the fucking window.’
>Twilight and Rarity just watch helplessly
>”You didn’t what, huh?!” she demands, wincing when her scowl pulls at the wound. “What’s your problem?! I try to be nice and go out of my way to be your friend and this is what you do!?”
“I didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened! I mean it!”
>She narrows her eyes and stares at you. “Oh, right. You regret it now so the story is “it just sorta happened” hmm?! Did you expect me to just take that and say “well okay”? If you didn’t want me around then SAY SOMETHING YOU DICK!”
>Words can't even exit your mouth anymore. All you can do is clench your holstered pistol so hard that your knuckles pop.

27/x

>>30895905
>“RAINBOW! THAT’S ENOUGH!” Twilight’s thunderous voice shakes the entire building, knocking dust from the ceiling and cowing the pegasus before the first word is even over.
>Rainbow lowers to the floor, but keeps an ugly, betrayed glower on you, even as Rarity dabs at her split lip with a linen napkin.
>You keep your eyes on the ground, trying to ignore the holes being stared into you.
>The entire room is silent for a moment.
>Why can’t you ever catch a break?
>The quiet is broken by hoof-steps until a pair of purple hooves stop on the edge of your vision.
>”Anon?” Twilight asks quietly.
>You gulp.
>”What happened there?”
“I...” you pause and clench your jaw so hard that you can hear your teeth creak. “I don’t enjoy being touched, Twilight. To the point that I just react without thinking. It’s nothing against any of you. It’s... Difficult to explain.” You’re keenly aware of the amount of attention on you. “I was wrong to not warn any of you, and I apologize.”
>You lift your gaze up to find all three ponies bore into you with unreadable expressions. Rarity opens her mouth as if to say something, but stops halfway.
>When you look back, all of them tear their eyes away, suddenly looking uncomfortable.
>Rainbow takes a deep breath and steps forward, making you reflexively lean back. “Do you mean it?” she asks simply.

28/x

>>30895910
“Mean..?”
>”Did you mean to take a swing at me?”
“No. Never,” you tell her as firmly as your still shaky voice can.
>The petite pony stares you down as hard as she can for nearly a full minute, and you refuse to look away.
>Finally she takes a deep breath and lets her withers slump. “I guess... I guess if you didn’t mean it... I can’t really stay angry...” she mumbles. “I wanna be mad, I really do. But you said sorry and meant it. Some warning, next time?”
“Of course,” you promise. “Maybe we should split up for the rest of the day. Or at least I should go.”
>None of them agree, but neither do they disagree.
“Before that, though. At least let me treat your lip, Rainbow,” you say, unzipping your bag and reaching in.
>She touches the still bleeding split with a hoof, her face contorting into a grimace. “I don’t think you can really do anything about a busted lip. It’s just gotta heal on it’s own. It’s not the first one I’ve had, and it won’t be the last.”
“At least let me give you the option, Rainbow,” you plead. “So I can at least tell my conscious I tried.”
>The pegasus sighs, but nods.
>You pull the spray can of fleshknit out of your pack and show it to the three ponies.
“This stuff seals, cleans, and heals small wounds without marks. It stings like crazy, but it’s a minute or two of pain versus days of aching.”
>Twilight instantly perks up. “Oh! Is this how you got rid of the cut on your lip when we first met?”
You nod. “Yes. It’s useful stuff for any first aid kit.”

29/31

>>30895915
>Rainbow eyeballs the can dubiously. “You sure this alien medicine isn’t going to make me melt or something?” She asks, waving a wing at it. “I’m not looking to be a puddle anytime soon. Just get your zapper out if you wanna tussle.”
“I swear. It’s just disinfectant and a mix that speeds up healing. This stuff was tested up and down for any kind of defects.”
>”Well...” she turns her lip to you, “let’s go. Just don’t flip out and bust me again.” She rolls her eyes. “Colts be crazy...”


-----------------------------------

>You are Rainbow Dash.
>And you can’t focus on this Celestia-damned book.
>You groan and bookmark your page before closing it, opting to roll over on your bed and stare at the white ceiling instead. Once Anon fixed your lip, he and Twi had left out the back door of Rarity’s place, taking the long way back to the library. That was a few hours ago.
You rub the spot where he hit you, feeling nothing there at all. “He really wasn't joking when he said it would be gone,” you speak to yourself.
>Even after punching you, you still want to be his friend, no matter how much your pride rebels.
>He listened to you with real interest, and didn’t blow you off or just pretend until it was obvious. He’s even easier to talk to about normal subjects since he didn’t get on your case about things stallions would.
>And then he nearly dropped you.

30/31

File: 1481260372808.png (178KB, 1024x1024px) Image search: [Google]

178KB, 1024x1024px

>>30895918
>There was no mistaking the kind of strength or speed behind that swing. It was all you could do to get out of the way, having no time to channel any mana in your body and all. If he had actually hit your jaw...
>With a growl, you force the thought away.
>You were about ready to trash him, stallion or not, until you saw the regret etched into his furless face. Even as an alien, it was plain as day. He really didn’t mean to hurt you.
>You turn over and reopen your book, one of Twi’s recommendations, only to find yourself reading the same line over and over.
>The book closes with a ‘snap!’ and you flop over again.
>The same though dominates your mind like it has for the last few hours, making your stomach tighten into an uncomfortable knot.
>’What could scare somepony into not wanting to be touched?’

31/31

>>30895928
There we go. Mema I fucked it up again

Pastebin updated soon https://pastebin.com/4wGMsAch

Like cum and subscribe

>>30895939
i love you nof

would give you my babbies

>>30895939
Thanks for the update, but as you know, our appetite for green is voracious. I just finished and I can't wait for more already.

>>30895939
This looks familar, did you post some of this a month ago?

>>30891841
This made me tear up a bit at how sweet it is, thank you Anon.

>>30896076
Pretty sure everything before the break was posted previously, since I also remember it.

>>30895939
Good story senpai.

>>30890745
>>30890823
>>30891216
>>30892770
I would actually like a real take of this, or at least RGRE FemAnon.
Has there been a FemAnon green here, yet?

>>30896220
No, and due to the autists here, they'll REEEEE out any attempts at a FemAnon story. I wouldn't mind seeing one though.

>>30896252
thats because femanon is shit

>>30896265
How would you know until you saw one?

>>30896252
FemAnons are a myth.

>>30870470
>Moondancer walks passed
>A few weeks ago she met anon at her usual spots
>He has her interests, is the opposite sex, and makes for good company
>3 days ago you took she took it a bit further

>Be moondancer
>You walk right in between these mares
"Yea, you can't fuck a personality, however"
>Each of them looks at you with the 'what the fuck is this bitch here for' face
"You can fuck his above average dick, that hilts, for around 15 minutes, then after a short break, for another 30-45... really you black out before he is finished"
>You let it sink in
>"Horseshit, you lie"
>You just look at her
"Anon is around a 3, maybe a 4 out of 10 and even I have my fucking standards, a few year long dry spell may have made me consider him with the lights out, but knowing what he can do... Lets just say you could be the bad lands and he would make you Celestial sea before he even starts"
>You just walk away
"You don't believe me, just follow the sound of moaning tonight and see for yourselves"

That smug face when anon is like an ntr guy, but not a piece of shit

>>30896220
It'd actually make a pretty good green.
Imagine if FemAnon was actually feminine by human standards, and thus coltly by pony standards.
She'd be ostracized by some mares because they'd think she was a dyke, equivalent to a flamboyant gay man in the real world, and she'd become good friends with stallions, but she'd again be the equivalent of a flamboyant gay guy in the group of hot girl friends, and thus perpetually friendzoned.
>"Sigh, it's so true what they say, Anon, all the good mares are either in herds, or gay..."
"But... I'm not gay."
>"Oh, you don't have to lie to us, Anon, we accept you just the way you are.

>>30896287
Not him, but there is a sizeable amount outside of RGRE. Enough to form an opinion I'd say. I don't think it's irredeemable, but it doesn't suit the thread theme very well. RGRE femanon typically relies on comedically subverting other comedic shorts with (even more) contrived scenarios. Maybe that's not inherently bad, but it just makes me want some of those as male Anon instead, thereby trimming the fat; the reverse trap itt doesn't really fall into this though. The only way out of the typecasting is something along the lines of Femanon has to learn to be the mare, growing out of her Earthborn mindset to survive. But introspective stuff is not too popular and already kind of hard to pull off with just a male Anon—not that you shouldn't try—Add a female pov, and something that most readers here can't relate to, and you'd need expertly honed writing chops to make it work let alone for an audience that wouldn't even it pick up off the metaphorical shelf. Little pay off.

>>30896337
The dark knight of ntr.
Uses his ntr powers for good.
Breaks broken mares so much they go full circle and become unbroken.

>>30896403
Yeah, this >>30896339 would make a really good story, but not for the type of people who come to this thread.
Write to the audience.
An amazing Drama up on stage is still going to fail if you do it in a comedy club.

>>30890086
>After about an hour of sitting there watching ponies go by, you got up and continued your way around Ponyville.
>You even visited a small restaurant on the edge of town.
>You did learn there that most pony food is inedible.
>More than half of the items on the menue were some sort of hay-based food.
>Twilight must have taken your diet into consideration when planning meals, because you've yet to see flowers at the castle as a food item.
>Regardless, you ordered some pasta.
>It was pretty good.
>You miss meat already, though.
>You'll have to ask about that later.
>For now, the sun is starting to set and you need to head back.
>You have your first day of work tomorrow and you don't want to be late.
>Walking through the quiet, empty streets, you note that the ponies here seem to go to bed much earlier than you're used to.
>Seems that your old days of staying out at the bar until 2am are over.
>A small sigh escapes you as you reach the giant double doors to the castle.
>It won't be an easy transition, but you'll adapt.
>Eventually.
>Opening the doors, you're met with the still dark silence of the grand foyer.
>You close the door quietly behind you.
>Turning back from the door, light explodes from the ceiling and your vision is blasted with pink.
>"SURPRISE!"
>Shaking your head, you attempt to reorrient yourself.
>An incredibly pink pony stands before you with a small cone on her head. Her brilliant blue eyes peirce your very soul as she gives you the biggest smile you've ever seen.
>"HI! I'm Pinkie Pie. I heard *sooooo* much about you from Twilight! I wanted to come and meet you in person for the LONGEST TIME, but Twilight told me to wait and so I waited and waited and waited! I wanted to throw you a party *so* bad, but then Twilight said I could! I was SUPER EXCITED! So here we are! You're very own 'welcome to Ponyville party'!"

>>30896696
>The sheer joy radiating from the mare in front of you makes you recoil for a moment, simply overwhelmed by her mere presence.
>Looking around, you notice the entire foyer is packed with ponies.
>Where did they all come from? Wasn't it empty just a moment ago?
>Pinkie Pie rears up on her hind hooves and swings to your side while wrapping a forehoof around your shoulders, bringing you into a friendly embrace.
>You're still too dumbfounded to react properly to this agressively friendly behavior.
>"Over there's the snacks, catered by yours truly, over there is the dance floor, and over *there* is where the magic happens. Hit it Vinyl!"
>A white unicorn with purple shades nods and pushes a button, unleashing a storm of noise flooding through the room.
>After a moment, you recognize the noise as music.
>You turn your head slightly to the pink mare beside you.
>She's grinning and eyeing you with wide, hopeful eyes.
"So, let me get this straight. You did threw this party for me? Why though?"
>Pinkie snorts, "Because everypony needs a 'welcome to Ponyville party' silly!"
>You shake your head, a grin working it's way onto your face.
"Thanks, Pinkie Pie."
>You swear her smile gets even bigger than before.
>You didn't think that was possible.
>"You're welcome Anon! Now don't keep those ponies waiting, get in there!"
>With that, she gives you a light shove, pushing you into the mass of ponies before you.
>Looking back, you see the pink mare smiling and shooing you forward.
>Chuckling, you turn forward and are met with the sight of a pair of earth ponies, one light grey with a swept-back spikey mane and the other a light brown with a well-groomed gelled mane.
>"Hello there, friend. I'm Cherry Fizzy." the light brown one says.
>"And I'm Lucky Clover." the light grey one says.
>You hold out your hand in greeting.
"Anon. Nice to meet you."
>Cherry and Lucky both shake your hand in turns.

>>30896702
>"So, I can't help but overhear some of the rumors. You'll have to forgive me, but did you really peep on a little filly?" Cherry asks.
>You shake your head.
>You'll have to deal with this sooner or later and there's no reason not to nip it in the bud.
"I wouldn't really call it that. More like I was transported to another world and somehow ended up in a filly's bathtub with a *very* enraged sister nearby. I barely knew what was happening and my reflexes took over."
>You scratch the back of your head.
"I'm a bit amazed at it myself. I guess the years of working with the wizard finally paid off. All those raids on the tower..."
>You drift off a bit, recalling a particularly troublesome pest that kept diving for you from the ceiling one day.
>"Raids on the tower you say? Do tell, do tell. Did someone attack you and your herd?" Cherry buts in, snapping you out of your daze.
"Ah, no. I worked for a wizard as his assistant. Raids on the tower were an... occupational hazard. I've never had a 'herd' as you call it."
>"My word!" Chery exclaims.
>"You poor stallion!" Lucky pipes in.
>"If you don't mind me asking, how old are you Anon?" Cherry asks.
"I'm 26 years old."
>You smirk as both stallion's eyes go wide.
>"Such a wasted youth!" Cherry narrows his eyes, "What ever was the problem? Slim pickings from the town?"
>You give a throaty chuckle.
"Well, actually..."

>After regaling them with your tale of how you ended up as the wizards apprentice, both stallions turn and nod to eachother.
>"It makes sense..." Lucky says.
>"Indeed..." Cherry replies, turning back to you. "Did you ever seek companionship afterwards? While I'm sure your first... attempt at a relationship had an unfortunate outcome, surely you didn't let that deter you completely."

>>30896220
There was one quite a few threads ago; the plot was a colt raised in a confined estate in Canterlot, to the least liked mare in a powerful herd, got a cutiemark in fencing and had to hide it or damage his mother's reputation. He runs away from home one day and finds Femanon running a bar in ponyville, some drunk mares tried to jump him and Fem tried to help, but he ends up getting ahold of the sword Fem kept under the bar and winning the fight. It didn't get any farther than that but they were supposed to go on adventures and eventually take on agents of his mother and the noble scene together.

>>30896709
"No, I had a few one-night stands here and there but nothing serious. Word sorta got out about what I had done, or tried to do, and not many girls were willing to give me a chance after that. Most of the women I slept with were from out of town and hadn't heard of what I'd done yet."
>Lucky snorts, "That's stupid! Mares do worse all the time!"
>Cherry nods to Lucky, "Yes, but that doesn't make it right. After all, if you don't like it when a mare tries to ensnare you with a spell or drug your drink how does doing the same to them make it any better?"
>"It doesn't! It makes us even!" Lucky stomps a hoof in reply, nostrils flaring.
"Wait! Did you just say 'ensnare you with a spell'?"
>Cherry sighs, "Yes, unfortunately there are those mares out there that will do *anything* to get with a stallion."
>"Instead of learning how to be better at flirting, they go for the brute method!" Lucky chimes in.
>"It must be noted though," Cherry interjects, "that those are uncommon. Do they happen? Definitely. Are they rare? Not really. But there's more good mares out there than bad ones."
>Lucky snorts, "Says you."
>Cherry places a hoof gently on Lucky's shoulder, "Now now. Just because you've had a bad... couple of experiences with mares does *not* mean that all hope is lost, Lucky."
>"I know, I know. It's just... frustrating, you know? Like, I want a nice herd but how can I trust mares at this point?" Lucky sighs, "I just don't know what to do."
>"Don't worry, it will come with time, Lucky. You don't need to push yourself." Cherry rubs his shoulder, smiling. "Besides, we're at a party. We might as well enjoy the time we have now with our new friend, Anon."
>Lucky's face visibly brightens and he smiles.
>"You're right." Lucky turns to you. "Sorry for bringing down the party. And we just met too."
>You waive him off.
"Don't worry about it. Honestly I was half-expecting the ponies in town to chase me down and finish the job that Applejack left unfinished."

>>30896718
>Both stallions chuckle heartily.
>"You definitely picked a poor choice in who to piss off, Anon. Seems she's *still* upset about the whole ordeal." Cherry says.
"Yeah, I kinda figured when I saw her today and she gave me a death glare."
>"Oh, I was referring to the fact that she's not here right now for your party." Cherry replies.
>You look around and confirm his suspicion.
>No Applejack.
>Well, that's a good thing in your book. No need to fear for your health.
>"You're right! I don't think I've ever seen her miss a Pinkie party before!" Lucky gasps, "Oh, the boys back at the office are gonna *love* this."
>Cherry snorts, "As if they don't already know. You and I both know that nopony misses a Pinkie party unless they're either not invited or they have a *very* good reason as to why they're not coming."
>"True..." Lucky scratches his muzzle with a forehoof.
>Your stomach grumbles, making it's presence known.
>Looking up, you spy some delicious looking snacks at the table. And-
>Is that pie?
>It is.
>It's fucking pie.
>Oh, you are so gonna eat that pie.
>It's been ages since you've had pie.
>You turn back to your companions.
"Guys, not to be rude, but I'm gonna go grab some snacks and a drink. I'll catch up with you later though."
>Cherry nods, "Say no more my friend. It is your party after all, and we wouldn't want to hog you all night."
>"Exactly! Go on and have fun Anon!" Lucky replies, "We'll see you later."
>Departing, you head over to the table reflecting on your encounter.
>You just made two new friends.
>The thought made you smile a little.
>But such thoughts can wait.
>There is pie to be had.

>>30896721
Done for tonight. Pastebin updated.

https://pastebin.com/qVnhbAdV

>>30896728
finally! i love this green, it always lift up my mood

>>30895939
Yeeeeeeeeees. Superb quality as always.
Also this Anon has some oddly well characterized ptsd. Not the contrived full chapter flashbacks you find on fimfic. Are you trying to tell us something about yourself Nof?

>>30877971
Honestly, I can see celestia and luna getting disillusioned with the opposite sex at an early age.. Had a few friends who watched their families fall the fuck apart hard, you want to know how many of them actively seek out partners because of that shit?

The pony sisters likely saw all the bullshit, either through lunas stories, or through needing to mediate nobles.

I can legitimately see them as virgins or at the very least inexperienced even for a normal pony.

>>30896339
This... this is a great idea.
Why can't we have über original stuff like this? Why can't I be talented so I can make this myself? Why can't other Anons be as interested by this as I am?

>>30896874
Bear in mind, they are not from a contemporary culture. We don't know a lot about young Equestria and the tribes, but if it was full of whores, slaves, and the spoils of war then you can bet your ass there were tons of stallions that mares could fuck and chuck with little consequence. In some ways, sex itself was cheap in the ancient world. And another response to becoming disillusioned with relationships is to have a bunch of meaningless one night stands.

I still think it's plausible that they're inexperienced for those reasons, but not virgin. Probably joined in running a train on some courtesan once or twice, because it would look weak and weird to say no, but then never really slept with anyone once they took up their crowns.

>>30896934
I feel you senpai.
That's why I'm going to become a drawfag, eventually

>>30896969
Oh the only one I could see as a potential virgin completely is luna, she did look fairly young when she was transformed, but beyond that, I could easily see celestia hearing the petitions and all that bullshit daily, and just not wanting to bother with trying after the few she had could not satisfy her enough to be willing to put up with the shit.

Because alicorns are either immoral or extremely long lived, she doesn't have the constant biological clock counting down that normal mares have so the few instincts they have could be suppressed or not even showing yet. sure celestia probably was single handedly the reason XXXLX3 silicone toys are a thing, but still.

>>30896996
>Biological clock
Head canons of either, since regular ponies ascend to it, alicorn mares still have a set number of eggs, and thus, can still hit menopause.
This means that they become barren, while still maintaining youth, unless their ovulation cycle fundamentally changes so, instead of going into heat and potentially wasting an egg, alicorn mares instead go into heat only when they are extremely aroused and have been mating. This means they only ovulate when they are ready to bare a foal.

Or, other headcanon, alicorns just continuously develop new eggs and ovulate forever without reaching menopause.
Bit more boring though.

>>30897050
or magic keeps them fresh for a long fuck off time.

>>30896728
noice mate

File: She's going to jail.png (32KB, 722x908px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 722x908px

>>30896339
In honor of this FemAnon prompt, I have searched for FemAnon pics to bless it with.

https://mlpg.co/art/src/1398362372619.png

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/075/540/fc1.png

https://derpicdn.net/img/2015/11/29/1032440/large.png

>>30897123
>https://derpicdn.net/img/2015/11/29/1032440/large.png
A qt

I don't know why I was expecting an Anonimoo pic.
I don't know if I should be mad or glad.

>>30897158
>I don't know
>I don't know
Ugh, I need to sleep

>>30891582
>Celestia and Luna remember a time when the Gender Roles where the opposite of what it is now, because that's how they grew up.

File: medium(15).png (172KB, 800x531px) Image search: [Google]

172KB, 800x531px

>people discussed the validity of hmd memes last thread

>But no one discussed the cliché of hunting/living in Everfree to look cool when --
>It's not a normal forest; you're thinking of Whitetail Woods. This 'aint no camping trip.
>The creatures dwelling within neither know nor fear man. They're more dangerous than cowardly black bears and reclusive cougars.
>A boar from Earth is downright monstrous, requiring specific methods and tools to not get gored in seconds. Meanwhile, Anon wants to hunt fauna that competes against giant mega bears without firearms.
>Don't gimme those excuses, you can snare something that won't put up much fight in the Whitetail Woods too.
>Life there defies our reason and you likely won't know how to deal with some unknown magic being until it's too late. Twilight, for all her knowledge and power, got wrecked by some flowers and a cockadoodle fuck. Such occurrences are always around the corner, and apparently not common knowledge if poison joke is anything to go by.
>Oftentimes, nothing strange ever happens and it's just apparent the writer forgot Whitetail Woods exists as a safer, more mundane place out of town.
>On that note, why wouldn't you hunt in Whitetail instead? Why wouldn't you just fish? I bet there's no permit shit or poaching rules, go ahead. Why risk your life beyond what's necessary if red meat is your end game, let alone on a regular basis?

Want a good reason to go to the Everfree? It would be closer to Zecora's than for sport or meat. She has the knowledge to utilize or avoid the rare flora there. So unless you're a potion brewer, herbalist, or want to record all the freaky wildlife, then you are better off hunting and living elsewhere. Elsewhere being the less wild, but still in nature, areas like Whitetail Woods. Felt like pointing it out so folks either flesh out their Anons in a more suitable way or reconsider the Everfree as home for hermit NEET types (they'd get btfo).

TL;DR Bleached Tailhole Woods, shilling it.

>>30896220
Femanon is cancer for various reasons.
1. Women are not relatable to the vast majority of the audience of greens
2. Women in RGRE would most likely lose their shit when they cease having high sexual market value on Earth.
3. Self inserting as a woman is impossible unless you're some kind of tranny or something.

>>30881141

>You are anon
>You have fluttershy under your arm
>today is the day that you rub it in everyone's face who didn't want you but now keeps trying to get with you.
"So, if I remember right, carrot top correct?"
>"Yes anon, have you decided to take me up on your offer? I see you brought fluttershy, so does that mean I get to be the alpha?"
>You really dont like this mare much anymore
"First, do you remember what you did when I asked if you wanted to get dinner and see where the night takes us?"
>She thinks hard, how will she spin this
>"I'm sorry, I cant recall"
"Oh, really, well let me remind you. You first started to laugh, saying 'holy bucking shit anon, thats a good one' and when you saw my face crumble a bit, 'Oh you were serious' and proceeded to laugh till you passed out."
>To her credit, she looks ashamed of that
"I heard you later telling another mare why you passed out laughing 'can you imagine that plowing into you? How could you even bucking get wet'"
>Yea, you crushed her spirits a bit
"So, because you refuse to stop hitting on me, flutters, the alpha of the herd..."
>At this her eyes go wide
>She looks at flutters
>No mare should have all that smug
"... decided it was only right to show you what you laughed your way out of"

>Be carrot top
>It is sundown
>You need a drink
>All day fluttershy and anon showed you what you could have had on yor front lawn, at one point you decided to go inside and put them out of your mind
>Anon picked fluttershy up and plowed her against your window.
>You lawn and home are coved in various fluids
>You are depressed
>You are desperately horney
>And you just want a bucking drink.

>Be anon a week later
>The castle is barricaded
>Mares are throwing themselves like changelings at the doors to break them down
>Apparently your stunt with fluttershy caused all of ponyville to go into an early estrus
>You look down yo your flutters as aj piles more shit against the door
>This mare is WAY to smug.

File: 1415932464794.png (77KB, 309x299px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 309x299px

What is the correct course of action, if a story you where authoring is impossible to reconcile with new canonical materiel?

In this case specifically Changeling since they... Changed. But in general.

What does one do if Canon changes and your story requires it to remain in the old ways?

>>30897247
1 and 3 are weird for me because I've never actually seen Anon and the second person style of greens as an effective way of self-inserting.
I've never actually self-inserted while reading one in fact.
Anon's their own character to me, just as if a writer were to give them a name and write in third-person. Even as a he, Anon almost never behaves in a way that I would, so using "you" doesn't work to immerse me any more deeply.
As for being relatable, well, again, I'm not necessarily looking to relate with Anon. I've read plenty of fics completely devoid of humans, or even a male character, and it was never what turned me away. I read stories for their entertainment value, not how they resonate with my own life, so if they're poorly written, or the plot doesn't catch my attention, I'll drop it, but I won't drop it because I can't see myself in the story.

As for 2, it depends on how a writer decides to write FemAnon, now doesn't it? FemAnon could be the cheerleader-esque girl used to having every boy wrapped around her finger, or she might be a level-headed women looking for a meaningful relationship, not a different fuck every night.
Part of being a good writer is being able to create and manage all of the different personalities of a story's caste. If someone couldn't do this, then they'd write every member of the Mane6 the same.
Creating FemAnon is just an extension of this then. Like a character sheet, you'd have to decide who this girl is, and decide how she would act and react to the world around her and other characters.

A FemAnon in RGRE is not impossible, nor devoid of merit, it is simply more difficult to write in a way that would appeal to this particular crowd. If you're writing for others, or in the hopes of positive comments and feedback, then you'd probably have better luck with a more standard RGRE.

>>30897247
I don't think it's Femanon that's cancer for those reasons, it's more that anything anyone writes is cancer because:

Dudes (basically 100% of mlp) can't relate.
Females in RGRE are harder to write smut of (half the green text here)
Self inserting as a female as a male is impossible.

I bet a good enough writer could write a decent to good female character. But who among us can be said to be good? What is goodness?

>>30897403
Alt history or taking place in the past, or possibly a new undiscovered hive. The thing is, you have to ask yourself if you actually lose anything by setting your story before those episodes.

>>30897441
Well in my case, i would lose the story since it began before those episodes.

>>30897247
>>30897420
>>30897430
Human females are buttfucking insane & selfish. Its not that dudes can't relate, its that they are genuinely evil.

Seriously. The reason rgre is so popular is its the "someone loves and desires you" thread. Our fetish is literally the desire for someone to give us basic decency, because human women don't. A pox on all women.

>>30897451
It can end before them too, but just continue on that path as an AU. You could even cover those events with a different outcome; the existence of Anon and such could change said outcome. Also Exchange is still recommended today despite being written about mid-season 3ish.

File: 8ec1b8d3b1395e53c33162db3c71146e.png (1MB, 2467x1961px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2467x1961px

>>30897458
>Human females are buttfucking insane & selfish. Its not that dudes can't relate, its that they are genuinely evil.

Sir i think this is a reflection on your character, and experiences, and i suggest you seek some form of help.

>>30897458
I would ask who hurt you, Anon, but I know it's your mother.

Only someone with an awful mom can view all women in such a negative light.

File: 1478932570052.png (492KB, 803x863px) Image search: [Google]

492KB, 803x863px

THIS THREAD

WHAT A GLORIOUS STORM OF GREEN

File: 1334585__safe_artist-colon-pony+quarantine_oc_oc-colon-morning+glory_oc+only_blanket_chocolate_cloth.png (2MB, 3000x3000px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3000x3000px

>>30897465
Those are all fair points. Thank you Anon, i wish you happiness.

>>30892770
I love this. Please continue.

>>30894733
Spike becomes a dog because he's a little bitch.

>>30897501
Does anyone have a link to the story where Pinky gives Anon a pity fuck so he won't be a foreveralone virgin, only to realize that maybe he's a pretty good catch?

>>30896728
I approve of having more RGRE bro stallions around.

Though it was a little confusing at first, because it didn't actually say they were male until they'd been talking for a while. And being as this is RGRE I assumed they were mares.

File: Excited-Dash.gif (996KB, 868x870px) Image search: [Google]

996KB, 868x870px

>>30895939
yay

The other alternative that occasionally shows up is that Alicorn's don't experience estrus.

Or they have severe limitations on it. Such as it only happening once every century/millennia. Or needing to use magic to induce it (the secret to Cadance being able to have Flurry Heart?).

>>30897471
>>30897470
>>30897458
I agree partially with the initial anon on this. Not every woman is awful, but the majority of them are. All you really have to do is look into statistics relating to women in general to realize that they hold entirely different and often opposite values than men. It's kinda depressing how women act when given freedom from societal consequences.

>>30897490
That pony has murder in their eyes.
>>30897123
I see that file name, and yes, picking up a colt in RGRE and holding them to your tit would most definitely lead to you being labelled a pedo and thrown in jail, regardless of intentions.

It would be equivalent to hugging a little girl so their face is pressed against your lower stomach/groin. Even if it's innocent, it's going to get some stares, especially if it isn't your kid.

>>30897333
>Smug Flutters
>Trips

>>30897403
>>30897441
This, if nu-lings don't work, just ignore it, and go with old-lings.

Same principle for everything else.

>>30888842
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJZqPCvKRgo

File: vector__738___sphinx_by_dashiesparkle-dbh1nm9.png (219KB, 1054x758px) Image search: [Google]

219KB, 1054x758px

>>30895257
>Turns out that Anon is already married.
>Anon just doesn't mention it until someone asks him.
>Ponyville knows, but these confident newcomers do not.
>After they became too agressive once, Anon sticks two of his fingers in his mouth and whistles loudly.
>Ponyville knows what up, ponies start clearing from the Market place has fast has they can.
>Not soon after, a roar can be heard throughout the town.
>Then the ground shakes, almost knocking the mares off their hooves the moment she landed.
>She being a very ancient and powerful Sphinx.
>The mares crap themselves when their face to face with a legend coming to life to kick their ass.

>>30897856
>"MAI HUSBANDO!"

>>30897247
>>30897430
>>30897458
>>30897570
...I just hope this doesn't become a thing, where people post psuedobait in order to get a writefag to spitewrite.

>>30897856
>The Sphinx
Would she give birth to a single child like a pony or a whole a litter like a cat?

>>30898008
yes

>>30898008
It gives birth to a box. Before it can be opened, you have to guess whether or not your child or children are inside, what they even are, if there even is anything inside the box, if they are even your child/children, if they even are a child/children, etc.

>>30898079
It's also a Rubik's cube just to piss people off.

>>30898008
>>30898079
>She gives you an open ended riddle early into the pregnancy.
>The answer determines what she gives birth to and how many.
>End up with a litter of green Sphinx kittens.

>>30898107
I make some weep. Others, I make smile. Hold me and I bend to your will. What am I?

>>30898128
Your clit.

File: 1299169453045.png (43KB, 400x317px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 400x317px

>>30898133

File: 50f.png (1MB, 1240x1118px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1240x1118px

>>30898133
>A deluge of giant clitoris spill from your sphinx waifu, small feline legs feebly waving in the air.

>>30890721
And immediately the trapfags show up and ruin the thread.

>>30898128
It's a child.

>>30898249
Never experienced a child through teen years, huh? Children don't bend to your will.

>>30898133
I kek.

>>30897458
Were you raped by your babysitter or something Anon?

>>30894701
Humaized has always been allowed on the board. Way before EQG was a thing. Furries aren't though

File: IMG_5500.jpg (52KB, 546x432px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 546x432px

Cold is dead. Trick is dead. Are we hemorrhageing content or are we about the same

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=443oJv_s6JA

how would the gospels of bundy apply to mares in RGRE?

>>30895939
How far in the future is this? The tech like the bridge generator and the first aid spray seems to point to way past 2017.

>>30898366
>Are we hemorrhageing conten
What? We have shorts and prompts for days and writefags who refuse to get off the ride. I'd say Rgre is one of the best off generals despite persistent shitposters.

>>30898390
> Mares do stupid things to impress stallions
Seems straightforward enough.

>>30898366
Never heard of trick but I feel ya on Cold. if he would finish his fucking story I could let him rest in piece but he is not done yet damnit

>>30896337
>Le "humans are sexual powerhouses in pony world" meme.
Grow up, junior.

>>30898079
Schrödinger explains reproduction...

>>30895939
NOF you are beautiful. I look forward to the next chapter in several months.

>>30898651
Don't worry, when you're older you'll stop getting triggered over dumb concepts others may like.

>>30897458
Look man, some women really are like that, hell i'd go ahead and say the majority of them kinda suck. But there are some that are pretty chill and straightforward.

Too bad all the good ones are usually taken.

>>30897458
>>>/r9k/

File: moondancer writing that shit down_.jpg (244KB, 2400x1800px) Image search: [Google]

244KB, 2400x1800px

>>30897197

>>30898651
I think it's a dumb trope, but does this thread, out of all the generals on the board, really need one more anon who serially complains about things he doesn't like when it shows up?

Fate just had to round it out and find someone who can't help themselves when they see one of the most common things in here. Bats, satyrs, femdom, tf, Glimmer "hyponsis", EqG and others just weren't cutting it, right?

>>30897525
https://pastebin.com/h2q2hd4z
Is this the story that you were looking for?

>>30898904
>50% divorce rate in the US
>80% initiated by women
I'd say he has a point.

>>30899153
I guess you burgers are fucked then. I've met some girls that are kind of offputtish but they were very hardworking and not awful overall. I have met one awful clingy slut in my local red light district, but that's to be expected.

>>30899153
>clapland women are representative of the rest of the world's women
This is wrong, and a huge oversight on your part

>>30899153
You do realize that surge only happened during the 1970's and 1980's and even then never even hit the 50%, it only hit 41 percent. In fact it's been going down throughout the years.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/divorce-rate-its-not-as-high-as-you-think.html

>>30899238
It's the people who get divorced and remarried repeatedly that make those incredibly high divorce rate stats. If you've done it once, you're more likely to do it again.

If you look at how many first marriages result in divorce, it's much lower.

Of course in recent years marriage rates have been going down as well, since a lot of people don't bother to get married and just live together. And when they break up, it doesn't count as a divorce.

>>30899238
>In fact it's been going down throughout the years.
Probably because no one is getting married anymore, thus the surge of 'man up' and 'get married already' articles.

>>30899272
That's probably true, still it's better then it was pre-1970's. Where you had to appear before a judge, with both people. If you didn't have the second person, tough luck for you. Not to mention once you had both partners, you actually had to establish a guilty party even if both partners didn't blame each other.

>>30899280
Probably not in the traditional 'white wedding' method since that shit on average can run up to $20'000 for a small affair. It's most likely what Anon >>30899272 said, most of them being common law marriages.

>>30899303
>most of them being common law marriages.
kek don't do that in Canada. You'll be legally married after a year with a woman and if she decides to break up she gets everything.

I think it might be the same in Britain too.

>>30899313
Probably, being a former British colony, we tend to share a lot of the same laws as they do. Generally that's poor women that tends to do that because the law does discriminate based on sex.

>>30899015
Moondancer WOULD be a writefriend, wouldn't she?

How many mares would you want in your herd? 1? 2? 50?

Personally, I'd be happy with one but my fantasy would be two. a mare on both sides for a cuddle sandwich

>>30899599
>2
>not wanting 3 with the 3rd as your blanket.

>>30899599
One, two at max.

File: 1419416299285.png (158KB, 553x791px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 553x791px

>>30899599
I feel like I wouldn't be able to love them all equally, so just one for me. One perfect waifu.

>>30899787
but anon

popped is permaded

>>30899599
The more you have, the more complicated things can get
It really depends on who the mares are, see the could sisters or lyra/bonbon or the bimbettes, those are package deals
But having for example Dash and... moondancer? Not sure about that

Not more than two tho, unless they're really, really close before you even meet them such as the bimbettes

>>30899787
popped was sadly claimed by the propeller
that's why you haven't see him
you can't summon the truly dead my friend

F
07

File: 1504335004947.png (527KB, 1362x603px) Image search: [Google]

527KB, 1362x603px

>Be Anon, not exactly autistic but socially inept
>Not really conventionally attractive, but ponies think you're at least a 6, sometimes a 9 if they're into the whole "weird elvish alien sasquatch" thing you've got going on
>You avoid sex at all costs because >muh jesus and >muh morals
>Mainly you hang out at the gym with your bros
>They're all the human equivalent of bulldykes, especially Roid Rage who is a mare-hating stallulist
>You hang with them because they keep away the Chad mares who might want to just pump and dump you, and also because they lift
>One day after the gym, you and your gymbros were eating when you got seperated from the protective herd of bullfag stallions
>Trixie Thundercunt herself corners you in an isolated area of the restaurant near the restrooms
>Using her scummy unicorn magic she drags you into the mare's bathroom and pushes you up against the wall
>"Trixie's getting real tired of your shit, human. Nopony says no to Trixie."
"No." you do a smug pepe grin
>Trixie bangs your head against the wall and drops you
"Owh... Motherfuck." you grunt and grab at the back of your head
>You hear a small gasp across the room
>Moondancer stepped out of the handicapped stall and saw it
>Trixie steps toward her but Moondancer pulls out a fucking katana and points it at Trixie
>"L-leave the gentlecolt alone." she says, tipping her fedora at you
>How chivalrous
>Trixie, deterred by the equine autist wielding a sword, leaves in a haste
>Moondancer walks over to you and offers to help you up
>"Are you okay, m'sir?"
>Maybe it was the concussion talking, but everything about her screamed "Waifu!"

File: 1363143908931.png (476KB, 1000x993px) Image search: [Google]

476KB, 1000x993px

>>30899819
>I feel like I wouldn't be able to love them all equally
Well, you shouldn't, really.
Trying to love -anything- equally is a fools errand, let alone actual people.
Think of siblings, though you may have a favorite based on any number of criteria, ideally you would love them all in their own way, there's no rule that says you must devote yourself to a single family member.
And that's what a herd is even without any children, A Family, one that's bound by choice and love rather than blood.

Imagine for a moment that two different anon were discussing their waifu, One Twilight and One Rainbow dash.
They explained the reasons they loved their mares, whether it was Twilights studious nature or Rainbow's athleticism or what have you, they each gave an equal number of reasons for why that particular mare was their waifu.
Who loved their waifu more?
Obviously that question is impossible to answer with much accuracy, so my last question is thus;
If a third anon came to the discussion and agreed with -both- of the previous anon's 100%, which pony does he love most?

>Anon and Luna can't stop fighting when they're in the same room.
>Physically fighting.
>As in "throw through walls".
>And the language... eeesh!
>Ponies avoid getting involved, despite "mare-on-stallion" violence, because the they would get in the crossfire.
>Celestia and Twilight learned the hard-way.
>However, one fight becomes aggressive making out.
>Then they're outright doing each other, much to the ponies' shock.
>Trouble is, it's on the breakfast table.
>In-front of Celestia, Cadence, and Twilight.

>>30900206

>and Flurry Heart, forcing Cadance to cover her daughter's eyes

File: 1293723__suggestive_artist-colon-toroitimu_cloudchaser_flitter_clothes_open+mouth_panties_plot_simple+background_smiling_socks_spread+wings_striped+soc.png (716KB, 1054x1065px) Image search: [Google]

716KB, 1054x1065px

>>30899896
>could sisters
Flitter and Cloudchaser? Patrician taste if so.

>They mess with you one day by covering their cutie marks and using the same mane style
>A prank their own mother and aunt would pull on their father, much to his distress. Something about how a husband should be able to tell.
>They forget that you're not exactly typical.
>Both of them, even macho mare Cloudy squeak when you pick them up and give both a kiss on the lips...
>... Between their legs.
>Flitter's love of cherries gives her away from the taste.
>The mares who gave them shit for 'settling for an ape' have no idea what they're missing.

>>30899599
3
> Celestia
> Fleur
> Rarity
In my time on /mlp/ I have discovered that I am attracted to power, and to sophisticated ladies.

>>30900234
Yes
I don't really like pegasi but I'd cope with these two
>ywn impregnate them both at the same time and find out Flitter is having twins, and cloudy is having a single one
>Cloudy will never bug you for years for you to give her twins too because it's not fair
>at the same time, cloudy will want to get pregnant again, and get triplets this time
>well shit

File: 456715__safe_screencap_rainbow_dash_applebuck_season_angry_animated_blinking_frown_glare_glaring_looking_at_you_mad_solo.gif (3MB, 853x479px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 853x479px

>>30900277
>I don't really like pegasi

You some kinda tribalist?

>>30899599
Just one and that would be Floor Bored

>>30900305
Nah, I just care for my children
I could handle little mudpony abominations, and maybe unicorns
But how do I handle babies that can fly away?
What do I do if the mother(s) aren't there?

But birdpones are stupid

File: 1507648__questionable_artist-colon-my+pet+tentacle+monster_sunset+shimmer_blushing_breasts_busty+sunset+shimmer_commission_dress+shirt_embarrassed_expl (2).jpg (90KB, 703x493px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 703x493px

>You liked sleep
>In fact, sleep was one of your most favorite activities
>When you had lived in Canterlot castle you were known to skip a class or two and find a nice, quiet place to take a half hour nap
>...Or take pictures of Blueblood when he was taking his afternoon bath
>For years it had driven your teachers, and Princess Celestia, insane
>The sleeping thing
>You were pretty sure no one ever found out about the peephole you had made in the prince's bathroom
>Or the one in the Guard's barracks
>Or all of the ones in the stallions' bathrooms throughout the castle
>Thankfully, you had been magically skilled enough that a bit of slacking off hadn't effected your studies too much
>Trying to fuck the ambassadors sons did that
>That and your numerous and often times vicious spats with the princess
>And, all these years later, you and sleep were like peanut butter and hay
>Ninety precent of the time you could sleep anywhere, at anytime, no matter how much noise was being made
>But tonight, for some reason or another, you found yourself staring up at your ceiling at three-thirty in the morning
>An hour ago you had woken up to go to the bathroom and now you just couldn't drift back to sleep
>You had tried lying in every position you could think of, you must have flipped your pillow at least a dozen times and fluffed it so much that feathers were beginning to poke out of it and still no go
>A sigh escaped you as you wiggled in your bed
>Celestia dammit...
>You'd be as grumpy as all hell if you didn't get a full eight hours of sleep...
>And you wanted to be nice and alert for tomorrow since you were taking Anon to Rarity's boutique tomorrow so that he could get fitted for some clothes since there was no place in this city that'd have anything close to his size
>Heck, you had a feeling that no store in this STATE had anything in his size