RGRE Reverse Gender Roles Equestria

Ayyy.

File: IMG_8275.png (288KB, 1024x403px) Image search: [Google]

288KB, 1024x403px

I wanna court Princess Celestia and make a dozen kids with her, and emaresculate the hell out of her during pregnancy

>>30699557
PUBLIC SPANKINGS

File: IMG_8283.jpg (2MB, 3000x2028px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3000x2028px

Would a marely mare accept bellyrubs from you in public, or would she be too embarassed?
Would the pleasure win over the social stigma?

>Be Lord Anon of Middenland
>Lord of castle Drighzold, and knight of the Order of the White Wolf
>Under the command of Emperor Karl Franz, you and an army of ten thousand imperial soldiers were deep in Sylvania
>Your mighty Emperor had decided that he wished this province to be back in the Empire's hands after centuries of it being under the yolk of those damned undead
>So, in his majesty, he had sent you
>It had been months since you had marched into this God's forsaken land
>Corruption was everywhere
>More than once your army had been forced to stop so your warrior priests could combat some unholy abomination
>Some days you'd find your men torn to pieces of giant bats
>Or worse
>And still, you hadn't seen hide nor hare of the vampiric army
>One of the Var Carstein's was hunting you down
>You, not one to run from deadmen and more than eager to kill something, had wanted to meet this demon in battle
>You wanted this vampire and his ilk to taste your steel, bolt, and gunpowder before you went to siege and destroy Castle Drakenhof itself
>Unfortunately for you, your would-be opponent was an idiot
>The man, who had lived in this land for CENTURIES, had somehow gotten turned around trying to find your troops
>You and your army, who couldn't really send out scouts out in the countryside for fear of the many abominations that lived here, hadn't been able to properly track them down
>So your dreams of glory and honor had now boiled down into a very grand, very ridiculous game of hide and seek
>You were not happy, and you most certainly weren't amused
>You couldn't leave the damned moron to his own devices and just go to Drakenhof
>He might find his way home and hit you in the rear while you sieged it
>You also couldn't keep looking around his his damned army
>Your supplies were beginning to run short, and you most certainly couldn't forage for supplies here
>But running away wasn't an option

File: 1414704966465.png (471KB, 1028x1024px) Image search: [Google]

471KB, 1028x1024px

>>30699557
RAINBOW BLAZING DASH YOU WILL STAY GROUNDED AND IN MY CARE UNTIL THAT FOAL IS BORN OR SO HELP ME.

File: 1326235786510.png (370KB, 1000x999px) Image search: [Google]

370KB, 1000x999px

>>30699615
>that cap
t-thanks

>>30699676
why did you stop

>>30699671
>So you, ever the dutiful lord, continued looking for this stupid vampire so you could crush his army
And, to your delight, you got your wish
>One morning, you had awoken to find the vampiric army not three hundred feet away from your encampment
>Usually, this would be a cause for concern
>The my-army's-about-to-be-completely-destroyed-oh-shit kind of concern
>But the gods were looking kindly on you and your army that morning
>That or that vampire lord truly was as dumb as a box or rocks
>Not a single undead, bat, or ghoul had noticed any of you
>Their army sat in a wide open, flat field below the forested plateau you and your men had taken refuge on
>You, nor any of your men could see a trap
>None of the magic casters you had on retainer could see and magic that would stop you from seeing an enemy encamped someone
>The Var Carstein mongrel was unaware, unsupported, and on the low ground
>You were going to fuck him
>You were going to fuck this undead man harder than any gods' blessed whore you've ever laid with
>After a just prayer to Segmar, and a few other gods, since you were a man that liked to keep his options open, you and your army found itself just about ready to attack
>All armed and armored, your men looked a glorious sight
>You, of course, were in the front of your army with your captains and advisors, trying to come up with the best plan possible to fuck these vampires up the ass as hard as possible
"Hurgel, I want you to bring our cavalry to the right and hit those zombies. Twing, I want you to take a platoon of greatswords to attack their front, have a squad of halberds with you."
>Both men saluted
>"May we purge these demons from the land, my lord," Hurgel said, giving his mustache a twirl
>"Aye. Lets kill these buggers," Twing said, grinning like a madman."
>Saluting again, the men wheeled their horses around and galloped toward their men
>You watched them go, smiling
>This was gonna be a cake--
>"Um, Mr. Anon?"
>Your smile diminished

File: IMG_5943.jpg (447KB, 1000x1032px) Image search: [Google]

447KB, 1000x1032px

>>30699699
You welcome senpai.
And remember, if you keep on believing in your waifu, they'll be waiting for you on the other side

>>30699744
go on

>>30699098
>>30699042

>At the early stages of the pregnancy it was just a mass blob of incomprehensible mess of sounds heard by the unborn foal
>as the pregnancy progresses, luna sees glimpses of random scenes that an unborn foal shouldn't even know about
>every night she comes here to actively protect her foal from the lingering presence of nightmare moon who will do anything in her power to corrupt this innocent foal

>Immediately detecting an interloper in her child dream leaps into action
>but something has changed in her foal's dreamscape
>its no long the blob of sounds that it experience before but an actual landscape
>a landscape similar to what her husband described in one of his stories of home
>earth

>you saw Nightmare moon standing there looking at the alien landscape, beside her was...
>...that was your foal
>it had no color just a shape but you KNEW it was yours
>you walk towards them
you wanted to run and take you precious child away from the monster but when you look onto nightmare moon's face
>you understood why
>"its fine mommy"
!
>"lets go to sleep"

>the dreamscape darkens

>you wake up in warm embrace of your prince refreshed and rejuvenated
"what an odd dream"

>>30699744
>Slowly, you turned your head and look at the advisors the great Emperor had sent along with you in this campaign
>They were horses
>But not only were they horses, they were colorful, talking, magic horses
>And you didn't very much care for them
"Yes, Twilight?" you asked
>The purple, mare, who was riding atop of a great armored gryphon, looked to and fro nervously
>"Are you sure this is something stallions should be doing?" she asked. "I mean, I like to think of myself as a very progressive mare, but having stallions FIGHTING doesn't seem... right."
>Your eyebrow twitched
"Twilight Sparkle, The Empire of Mankind has been doing very well by letting its sons fight for over two thousand years."
>"I know, I know, but wouldn't it be better if you all just talked out your differences instead?"
"I will not talk with some undead demon."
>The orange one whose name you've forgotten, who was also riding a gryphon, let out a snort
>"Will ya quit with all that there prissy stallion nonsense and just go an' talk ta the fella?" she said. "I like seein' colts fight as much as the next gal, but this is takin' it too far."
"If you ladies don't like it you're very welcome to stay in the camp," you said, pinching the bridge of your nose
>"Nonsense, darling," the white one, who had INSISTED you call her lady Rarity, said, puffing her chest out. "What kind of gentlemares would we be if we didn't do our very best to protect you?"
>Your eyebrow twitched
"I'm a Knight that has won countless battles, there's no need for you to--"
>Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the Pink one reach behind her back
>Through some warp deviltry, she somehow pulled a colorful cannon from out of nowhere
>"FOR THE EMPIRE!" the mare roared, tugging on the cannon's cord
>An explosion ripped through the air along with confetti, covering you and your personal guard in the stuff
>...
>The pink pony blinked
>"Oh... Hehe, wrong ammunition," she said with a sheepish smile

>>30699792
>Your eye twitched a little harder when you heard the vampiric army let out a hellish shout
>You, along with all of your captains, could see them already making their way toward you
>"Segmar protect us," one of your warrior priests murmured
>Your frown deepened
>Fucking ponies...

>>30699798
Alright, I'm done. Since I'm really grumpy that I didn't pony up to buy Total Warhammer when it was really cheap on Steam I decided to write this to help muh autism. Sorry.

Okay, now I can post without feeling like an interrupting asshole.

>>30699676
Thanks for the idea kinda

A short
>The enticing aroma of cooking breakfast as the sore pangs in your hips are all the keep you awake at the kitchen table.
>You are Spitfire. Captain of the Wonderbolts, Commandant of the Wonderbolt Academy, world superstar, marefriend of the only human…
>...And a mare who had her world rocked.
>You tenderly shift your legs, making the limbs throb from the minor exertion and getting no reaction from your almost raw marehood rubbing on the chair.
>Celestia damn. He actually fucked the estrus right out of you. What a way to break a dry spell.
>But most curiously, the empty feeling was gone.
>Again, you shift around, but the emptiness refused to return.
>As you grew older, past 25 or so, the weirdest sensation settled into your lower stomach.
>It’s if a cavity was there.
>Eating until full didn’t make it go away, doctors found nothing wrong, spiritual junk like soul-searching told you nothing, and even meeting your husband-to-be didn’t fill some corny emotional hole there.
>But now…
>You take a breath and close your already droopy eyes, stilling yourself and readying the soul-search trick again.
>The literal kind, not the traveling hippie stuff.
>Your last thought before your mind goes blank is a thanks to Soarin for teaching you this.
>Silly colt and his obsession with natural curatives...
>Slowly, your senses fade out. Sight first, then hearing, smell, taste, and finally touch, leaving you in a void of your own creation. The sudden lack of sensation sends its usual thrill of fear through you and makes your mind buzz.
1/3

File: 1450833910848.png (166KB, 905x766px) Image search: [Google]

166KB, 905x766px

>>30699811
>Tiny ‘lights’ come to life around you in various shapes.
>The sensation of 360 degree vision would be nauseating if the beauty didn’t distract you.
>The first you notice it your human, behind you at the stove. The dense green aura under his skin slowly flows like molasses with an almost lazy burn, ready to fuel his body for hours on end.
>He hardly even seems tired after the wild night you and he had, if the sheer amount of aura is anything to go by.
>But even with the impossibly thick green enshrouding him, you still see the vermillion knot resting above his heart, pulsing with light.
>You smile without realising it
>There are few tiny pin pricks of light around. Insects in the house, birds outside, a fat rat in the neighbor's wall, things like that.
>Then you look at yourself.
>Your raging vermillion fire moves slower this morning, more like a stream through your veins than the runaway rapids it usually is. It’s easy to guess why.
>Right above your heart, a knot of dense green pulses languidly, uncaring of the faster aura’s pace around it. It’s warmth makes you want to drift off to sleep.
>But something catches your attention near your stomach.
>If you could feel, then your brows would have furrowed.
>Right where the empty feeling was, your light swirls around a tiny point like water draining in a sink. Slowly but surely, it’s pulled away.
>Just what in tartarus could this be?
>Closer, you look.
>In the center of the swirl is a tiny dot of captivating emerald, totally unlike your color and almost too small to see, but the small mote keeps pulling at you.
>What could it be..?
>...
>It hits you like a rookie does the ground.
>Again you look, and again the little emerald is still there.
>Warmth floods your body as both your heart and aura in your veins begins to race.
>Thats...You… You’re going to be a-!

2/3

>>30699803
You don't dissapoint LaP, but you always leave me hungry for more.

to bad i still need to finish all these fucking dishes if i wan't something to eat off of at 3 am when i have to leave.

File: 1451317409985.png (384KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

384KB, 1280x960px

>>30699817
>”Spits?”
>The world snaps back into focus, the lights gone in an instant.
>You blink, finding an amused and hairless face in front of yours.
“Wah…”
>You shake your head of the cobwebs that technique leaves you and focus back on your tall coltfriend.
>”You alright? You looked like you were passed out at the table,” he asks, masking his concern with his light tone that you know so well by now.
>He sets a plate of breakfast in front of you before sitting with his own plate.
“Yeah, I’m good,” you smile. “I’m better than good, babe,” you tell him, taking a big chomp out of the haybacon on your plate before continuing. “I think I might have a surprise for you.”
>”Huhm?” he mumbles with an inquisitive blink, cheeks full of food.
“I’ll tell you later,” you say with a giggle. “I don’t want you to choke after hearing it.”

3/3

Ayy I did a thing

>>30699823
More, please.

>>30699777
Those last 5 digits... nice full house.

>>30699823
Hnnnnngghh!

More plis
Plis

>>30699811
>Thanks for the idea kinda
I meant >>30697681

>>30699803
That sounds like something a handful of ponies would get flat out executed for. Them fucking up likely just cost the lives of hundreds of men, if not more.

File: 1499951104709.png (243KB, 840x884px) Image search: [Google]

243KB, 840x884px

>>30699823
That was weird. Weird but cute.

You should do more.

>>30700046
>>30699823
yeah, it is kinda weird. is spitfire an airbender or something, or is she going to reveal that she unlocks her chakra gates to fly so fast?

>>30700137
..what in a world with real actual magic, chakras and auras or whatever are implausible and out there?

Most would have no problem with it, only tsundere mares like Limey would object to it.

>>30700149
theyre heresy

File: best pony.jpg (17KB, 201x246px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 201x246px

>>30700149
did you forget she doesn't have a horn, and is therefore incapable of expressing magic outside the confines of her body?

>>30700190
...and how was she doing magic outside her body? that was internal sensory shenanigans.

honestly I am mostly just confused why someones getting all "muh realism" on this.

>>30700214
She was sensing insects and rodents in the walls, senpai. That's pretty external.

That's beside the point, because the story was still cute.

File: 1445492670706.jpg (247KB, 1224x1445px) Image search: [Google]

247KB, 1224x1445px

>>30700214
no, it's called "internal consistency," you troglodyte. you can have whatever unrealistic elements you want, but they have to mesh together in a way consistent to the rules laid down by the story. some mudpony stallion teaching spitfire the secrets of chakra manipulation is way out of left field.

>>30699798
>buying TW: Warhammer

you disappoint me LaP

TW: Warhammer was CA's Heresy from the very beginning

File: 1340848329323.png (583KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

583KB, 800x800px

>>30700334
What? Soarin isn't a mudpony.

File: 1478723909288.jpg (80KB, 766x960px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 766x960px

>>30700356
>tfw I bought TW: Warhammer
I can't believe I fell for that juden shit
I only need to pay for 7 dlcs for the "Full" experience

>>30700334
>Complaining about consistency
>Calls Soarin a mudpony
>Can't keep his own sentence consistent.
You played yourself. It's magic, it can do whatever. It seemed pretty connected to me.

>Soarin learns an unusual skill that goes in line with an interest of his.
>Teaches it to Spitfire.
>Spitfire uses it.

Easy

>>30700397
after rome 2 i lost all hope for TW

but at least Divided et impera was good

>>30700389
>>30700402
>pegasi with magic is no problem at all
>don't talk shit about my hoersbando
ah, not pretending then.

I see that belly, dash

>>30700356
>>30700397
Pretty kickass cinematics though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyU_1-Py0dA

>>30700421
What?

>>30700408
>rome 2
My heart sank when I learned of how mediocre Rome 2 was.
I played probably a few hundred hours of the original Rome and loved it
All I wanted was to make the Roman empire again but I guess we are damned to not be able to

>>30700437
The cinematic are pretty good, I can say that for sure

File: 1426883618267.jpg (121KB, 932x857px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 932x857px

>>30700434

>>30700437
its warhammer its a given
doesnt excuse CA's heresy tho

>>30700443
i played probably a several thousand hours in rome 1 an medieval 2 alone

rome 2 did not give me the feeling of awe like in rome 1

>>30700481
Yeah, their DLC practices have completely turned me off of all of their games.

>>30700487
me too

>>30699803
it was on humble bundle monthy for 12 bucks a few months back

File: 1449136__safe_artist-colon-rodrigues404_nightmare+moon_alicorn.png (542KB, 900x936px) Image search: [Google]

542KB, 900x936px

hey, just checking in to let you know i'm still working on the next update. I already had a few hundred lines, but i realized that, without more ponies from RGRE interacting with moonponies, it would never be RGRE enough and I was just stalling with unnecessary dialogue.
It's changed the direction I was going to take it, so it will be a much longer story, but I'm hoping that overall it will focus more on the clash of gender roles between the moon and equestria. also the apple clan is going to be heavily involved.
but this is also the first long story i've written, so please let me know between updates if i'm going off the rails or something. constructive criticism is your civic duty in greentext threads.
anyway, the next update will be in this thread or the next!

File: 1448758657065.png (460KB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

460KB, 1366x768px

>>30700611
>so it will be a much longer story
OH SHIT
THIS PLEASES ME GREATLY

File: OhYeah.gif (532KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

532KB, 320x240px

>>30700611
>the next update will be in this thread or the next!
Hype

we need more tabletop fun times with sexist horses

I've been playing warhammer for so long I remember the days when white dwarf had included record with the magazine, and a few 80's thrash metal records

>>30700720
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39sAIzrbmk8
for those interested

>>30700487
Their piss weak modding tools to TW killed any desire in me to get the game. No custom models, everything most be cobbled together from what's already in the game. Fuck off.

>>30700611
How much longer we talking here? Thirty thousand words? Fifty?

A HUNDRED?

>>30700787
however long it takes to finish. i try to plan my stories out beforehand.

>>30700190
> No horn, therefore no external magic

> Weather manipulation
> Cloud walking
> Producing lightning from small clouds that do not disperse
Pegasi probably can't work actual spells, but perceiving energy, even through visual barriers, that fits in with the crazy stuff they can do with clouds. Even better, it would seem to be mostly subconscious, requiring unusual focus to become fully aware of.

>>30700805
So two hundred thousand?

>>30700137
>All the other wonderbolts fly so well because they were promising recruits that underwent special training to unlock latent magic that improves their speed, control, ect.
>Dash either is just naturally fast as hell or she is some sort of idiot savant when it comes to unlocking this power
This amuses me

Popped, please.

>>30700910
is kill

>>30700442
He's a fucking newfag or he's retarded.
>>30700421
A mudpony is a earth pony dumbass! Soarin would be a skyswooper or something like that newfag.

>>30700935
He's dealing with stuff. If I remember correctly his best friend's brother or something died. Give him a bit.

File: download.jpg (7KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 259x194px

>Bully Flash in RGRE
Gets constantly bamboozled by anon

>>30700963
>skyswooper
featherbag?
skyrat?
cloudvermin?

>>30701023
Exactly, but to call him a mudpony just doesn't work. It's like calling a gook a nigger.

File: here_i_come_to_fuck_up_your_shit.jpg (25KB, 409x267px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 409x267px

>>30699803
DIPLOMACY

WHEN

>>30700214
>>30700190
>>30700334
Well, what about Zecora? Hell, in the S3E5 (Magic Duel), it was shown she could walk on water and essentially conjure up tea out of no where. I think it's plausible in a world full of magic and pastel pones.

>>30700980
Flash is /ourguy/ Anon.

>>30701152
>>30700334
>>30700190
>>30700214

Or maybe I'm mixing it up with Twi on the water. It's been a while since that ep. Still, I think someone like Zecora could teach a thing or two about magic.

>>30700810

New to the conversation here, but...

I think what he's saying is that non-horned ponies throwing around insanely powerful non-tribe/non-cutiemark specialty magic like BEING ABLE TO SEE LIVING THINGS (through other living things, likely through walls, and having omnidirectional vision no less!) is pretty OP for "this has nothing to do with my talent or species" magical hippie sideshow tricks.

If she had some sort of TiBITtan monk or ultra-hippie-nature cutie mark, or were a unicorn, that would be okay.
But just "I studied with some half-baked self-improvement enthusiast buddy for like a week once" is a level of ridiculousness on par with saying "I looked up to the sky a week ago and saw a black helicopter, so now I can pilot military aircraft".

>>30701023
I like "featherbrain" as the pony racist name for pegasi.

>>30701152
Zecora is an outcast loner nature buff with a very zen/tribal voodoo vibe and style to her.
At least that makes sense, as she lives the life of a zen/zebrican mystic 24/7.

Meanwhile, Spitfire spent like MAYBE a week or two learning third-hand info from a semi-ditzy self-improvement amateur wannabe.
MASSIVE difference.

That's the difference between "I've train to do this task for hours every day of every week of every year for decades now," and "A girl I knew in college told me about doing this meditation thingie for a few days after we binged on her pothead roomate's brownies on weekend."

>>30701294
This is Nof writing it and he loves magic. If we go with how he usually does things, then Spitfire can probably learn some certain powers and spells because shes an especially exceptional pegasus. A normal pegasus probably could never learn such a thing or even try.

>>30701294
>>30701317
Biggest issue here is we have no idea how long Spits was learning from Soarin. For all we know, she might have been taught for years.

>>30701317
>>30701320
While these are both very true in the scope of what is talked about there is also the fact that we have not looked at, Equestria is a place filled with magic, if someone isn't actually looking into how to do magic I bet they wouldn't know it because it was right there ready for them to use.

This is the same argument about Earth ponies or pegasi not having magic, it's old as this board is at this point.

File: potion seller.jpg (105KB, 760x625px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 760x625px

>>30701317
>Zecora
>nature buff
no, she's more of an alchemist, or potion master.

>>30701300
Bone head works well for unicorn

File: 185984__safe_animated_spitfire_rain_artist-colon-spittfireart.gif (285KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

285KB, 500x500px

>>30699823
amazing

are there any stories wherein more than one human arrive in equestria more than just oneshots only a few posts long? i don't have the talent for it, but i'm sure a writefag would be able to explore human nature and chronicle the ponies witnessing of it through a story like that, without going completely misanthropic.

>>30700872
I like this, we should talk about this.

>>30701953
Those who are fond of nature often make potions/remedies from natural ingredients.
Alchemists are more prone to using manufactured ingredients as well as personally harvested ones IF needed.

Zecora fits more into the realm of "zen nature dewller who uses natural home-made remedies from local flora" than into the category of "I make potions and alchemical substances from whatever sources are purest and/or most effective".
An alchemist wouldn't bat an eye at having purified ingredients from a laboratory somewhere sent halfway across the country so they can ensure the purity of what they're making.
An outdoorsman/outdoorsmare doesn't care if what they're making is perfect, they just care that it's effective and can be made with what they have on-hand/on-hoof or at least from what's easily accessable (which generally means it can be acquired locally).

>>30702026
>dash, who is naturally that fast, is eventually taught the techniques
that reminds me: at a certain speed, fighter jets no longer require lift to stay in the air. the inertia of the air molecules prevents them from "falling" as they no longer fly but rather "swim" through the air like a submarine goes through water. my physics professor told me it's more like gliding through jello, because the difference between your speed and the air around you is so fast it might as well be solid to a degree.
if spitfire were to pass on her knowledge to dash, she'd push her protege into shonen-tier levels of power and speed. dash is strong-willed, competitive, and willing to take risks. sure, her pegasi magic protects her from the worst effects of passing the sound barrier, but what happens when she reaches speeds that stretch out her spine, strip her of hair and feathers, or even igniting the air around her?

>>30702055
or a nerd anon could tell dash about this, get twilight to verify it or be interested enough to conduct experiments, and see what kind of shenanigans ensue.

>>30702016
>explore human nature
>human nature
Like anyone on this board knows what human nature is.

>>30702067
well maybe they could just copy some concepts from old science fiction stories, before they became pozzed romance-in-space stories with werewolves.

>>30699748
What if I want to kill my waifu?

>>30702304
suicide pacts can't happen if you've committed it once already. if you just want to kill her to kill her, she was never your waifu to begin with, you fucking normie.

File: 1499837480481.png (611KB, 1024x1024px) Image search: [Google]

611KB, 1024x1024px

alright, I got more moonponies for you, just like I promised.
===

>Thank Celestia for paperwork
>Focusing on ironing out the details of this deal has thankfully given you a very useful distraction from getting lost in his--
>From studying the differences in moonpony and Equestrian pony biology.
>Yes.
>Also, you were sure that those blind(?) ponies were staring back at you every time you looked over at them.
>Somehow.
>The delegation--or rather, Colonus--had persuaded you with some very convincing arguments that it would be best for everyone involved to set up an outpost here in Ponyville somewhere.
>Ah, you think back to a few minutes ago (or was it hours?) when Colonus was talking about Ponyville growing to rival even Canterlot in trade, culture, and societal matters.
>You stare out the darkened window and can just about make out the lights of Canterlot on the side of the mountain.
>Celestia would be so proud of you.
>You catch a look at the King and Queen.
>For the most part, they've been content to be silent during this negotiation.
>A couple of their guards had, with your permission, gone and retrieved some books from your library for them to browse while you spoke with Colonus
>Queen Selena had offered advice or asked questions here and there, despite not even looking up from a dense history book.
>You knew her sister had the same ability to read and listen at the same time to different subjects, too.
>It had caught many a mumble in day court, and made you feel all the more special when she gave all of her attention to you.
>King Anonymous had, to your wonderment, been reading the backs of several stacks of fiction books during the more tedious moments, but it seemed that he didn't have the same ability as his wife.
>From the looks of it, mostly adventure, romance, and adventure/romance novels.
>He didn't sound or look impressed by them.
>Hmph.
>What did he expect with pulp fiction?

File: filly nmm.png.png (696KB, 1195x1024px) Image search: [Google]

696KB, 1195x1024px

>>30702619
>He'd definitely be impressed with the amount of knowledge in your collection of non-fiction.
>You'd give your left wing to have unfettered access to the libraries in the Gray Spire.
>Well, maybe not that, but something equally valuable!
>But, back to the matters at-hoof.
>The zoning map of Ponyville in front of you.
>He wanted a place not too far from Ponyville and not too far from the Everfree
>Also beyond four hundred meters from any structures, to allow for construction of the Crater.
>A name based on the topography of the moon's surface, perhaps?
>Must investigate further.
>Which you will once you've got these strange ponies and strange technology firmly under your hoof!
>"Ahem."
>No, he's right.
>You'll be underneath his barrel, with him firmly in your grasp.
>Your name on his lips, unable to wrench his own legs from your body, a slave to his own desires for your--
>"Princess?"
>You blink a couple times.
"Hmm? Yes?"
>Colonus looks at you with a hoof on the map.
>"I said that this area would do nicely, and it's marked as belonging to the crown."
>You look down at the map again.
>Something about it looks familiar, though...
>If you remember correctly, that land is part of Sweet Apple Acres, or at least they grow apple trees there.
>But they don't actually own the land, it just wasn't part of either of the surrounding plots.
>Applejack wouldn't just steal it, though.
>In all likelihood, the trees just started growing at the edges and spread across it over time.
>Still, it meets all the criteria.
>Applejack won't be pleased, but you'll find some way of repaying her.
"I'm sorry, Prince, but that land is already being used my friend Applejack. I'd hate to kick her off of it."

File: nmm bust.jpg (119KB, 889x899px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 889x899px

>>30702623
>"Is this map outdated, then?"
"No, no, it's not outdated. I remember that this area is part of what they consider to be part of their farm. Even though it doesn't actually belong to them, I wouldn't feel very good just taking it from them to give to someone else."
>"If it's money she requires, I'm sure we can work something out."
>"I'm sure you can," King Anonymous comments, "After all, you've done way better than I expected tonight."
>The king reaches around the guard next to him and pats the prince's back.
>"I'm proud of you already, son."
>Colonus straightens out in his seat, sitting a little taller.
"I don't think the Apple Family will part with their farm for a bag of bits. They value it all very highly, since they've owned it for generations."
>Anonymous looks over at his wife and they lock eyes for a moment.
>Not a word passes between them, but she eventually nods.
>"We are certain we can strike a bargain with them," Queen Selena announces, "perhaps mere gold will not suffice, but they may be swayed by a different prize."
>"Well," Anonymous looks at the clock on the wall, "if they're farmers, they would probably be up and about by now, right? Why don't we go talk to them, see if we can't get them to part with a few of their trees?"
>You look at the clock on the wall.
>5 a.m.
>Yeah, they'll probably be awake by now.
>Granny Smith will already be making breakfast.
>You wouldn't want to bother the King and Queen with another visit for yet another negotiation, and all the details are still fresh in your mind.
"Of course they'll be up. I just, um, don't have any chariots nearby for the trip. I can arrange for one if you'd like to wait for one to get here from Canterlot."
>"Neigh, Princess Sparkle," Queen Selena waves a hoof, "it has been ages since We have experienced a walk in the twilight before dawn. We would enjoy the trek."
"I should call a couple royal guards here, then. I wouldn't want the ponies in town to worry."

File: anon and nmm.jpg (81KB, 1280x885px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 1280x885px

>>30702627
>You still hadn't figured out what would set off the ponies that lived here.
>You still remember the reaction that Zecora got.
>Yet they welcomed Iron Will, a giant minotuar with a goat entourage, with open forelegs and wide eyes.
>Better safe than sorry.
>"Nonsense," Anon waved his hand, "They're gonna have to get used to us in time anyway. I'm sure if they saw you with us they wouldn't freak out. Besides, our guards can handle anything.
>Anonymous rested his hand on the back of one of the helmeted guards and rubs her back.
>"Isn't that right, Ensiculia?"
>She doesn't move, but you can see her stone face crack into a small smile.
>Well, just her mouth. It's the only part of her face you can see.
>"It's settled, then," Colonus announces with a smile, "Let's get moving. I'm sure you can tell me all about Ponyville as we walk, Princess."
>He turns his glowing eyes back to you with a glowing smile
>Well, his teeth aren't glowing or anything, but they might as well be.
>You feel your heart flutter in your chest.
>King Anonymous is right, the ponies of this town have to get used to seeing them.
>This will also give you a chance to impress--
>Explain.
>Explain to Colonus all about Ponyville.
>They all stand up at the table, reminding you just how tall everypony from the moon is.
>Anonymous stretches, doing some odd twisting motions, each time eliciting a couple pops or cracks
>Each one makes you shiver.
>You move to open the door for them, but one of the guards beat you to it.
>Hmm. They were all so silent during your hours of talking that you had forgotten they were even there.

===

File: 1501005700739.png (619KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

619KB, 800x800px

>>30702629
>You make sure to float a large mug of coffee out of the kitchen as you make your way down the hall.
>The commercial-grade machine was worth it's weight in gold.
"Would any of you like some coffee?"
>"Ooh, yes please," Anonymous says.
>Queen Selena and Colonus nod their heads as well.
>You stop at the door and pour out three cups, leaving enough room for colty things to add.
"How would you like them? I make mine a little strong, but I can add water, milk, or syrup if you'd like."
>"Do you have another cup like that one?" Anonymous points at the one you're floating.
"Yup. What would you like?"
>"Fill'er up, black."
>What.
>The only pony who could stand to drink coffee the way you drink coffee was Moondancer.
>And Celestia when she's had a long night.
>The both of you had developed your taste through your years of study and many all-nighters.
>Coffeeshops aren't actually allowed to legally serve the kind of coffee you drink.
"I brew my coffee pretty strong, King Anonymous. Are you sure you don't want some water?"
>"The stronger the better. I've really missed it."
>"We will take ours with a spot of cream," the queen says.
>"Same here, but more cream and add a couple scoops of sugar," Colonus adds.
"If you say so."
>You pour them their drinks and pass out the mugs.
>Anonymous takes a sip first and lets out a very deep and satisfied sigh.
>...
>L-lewd.
>The queen is a more collected when she takes hers
>Colonus, however, passes his cup off to the Captain who sips first.
>You raise an eyebrow at him and taste the coffee in your cup.
>Yup, just the way you like it.

File: nmm smile 2.jpg (316KB, 1024x1448px) Image search: [Google]

316KB, 1024x1448px

>>30702634
>It isn't burned, and there's no grounds floating in it
>"Oh, don't mind him," Anonymous says, "he's just, uh, picky."
>The Captain nods and gives it back to the prince.
"Oh...kay..."
>Weird.
>Not even Blueblood does that.
>"Sorry, Princess Twilight, I just had to get it tested for p--"
>Anonymous stumbles to the side and nearly bowls him over, almost spilling the prince's drink.
>"Oops."
>The King stares at his son with a serious face.
>Not that he said sorry, but it almost looks like he did it on purpose.
>Colonus pulls on his robes and coughs into a hoof.
>What is going on?
>"Ahem," Colonus smoothes out his robes, "I um...have a sensitive palette, and the Captain here knows what I like. Th-thank you, Captain Insularum."
>She nods back at him before he starts down the hall.
>"Well let's go, sky's turning!"
>Anonymous lays a hand on the Captain's back before he joins his son and wife.
>"Captain, send for Villa. Tell her to bring a box of the glacier apples with her and meet us on the way to the farm."
>"At once, All-Father."
>You're quite torn.
>On one hoof, they're probably going to teleport another pony here from Faust knows where (probably the moon again) and you want to witness it.
>On the other, you have to be a good host and escort them to Sweet Apple Acres.
"We can wait if you'd like, there's no rush."
>"Nah, it's no trouble. She'll catch up with us. Oh, and Captain, brief her on the way."
>>"Roger, All-Father."
>Roger?
>What in the world does that mean?
>You really want to ask, but you manage to keep your urge to interrogate in check.
>Another note you have to try and remember.

File: 455272__artist+needed_safe_nightmare+moon_oc_oc-colon-anon_blushing_cute_dialogue_eyelashes_eyes.png (441KB, 1078x1070px) Image search: [Google]

441KB, 1078x1070px

>>30702639
>The front door opens before any of you get close or use magic.
>You pass by a pair of silver-armored guards and step out into the cool night air.
>The sun isn't anywhere the horizon, and the moon hangs in the night sky.
>"Hey, look!" Anonymous points to the moon.
>His arms and fingers are long when they're not all folded-up.
>"Wow, we're so high up."
>Wait, what does he mean 'high up'? He's on the ground.
>...oh.
>"Indeed, dearest," Queen Selena leans against him, "I had forgotten how I enjoy this view."
>"I think I can see my house from here!"
>"Really?" Colonus stops and looks up.
>"Yeah," Anonymous leans down next to his son and points, "Right there, see?"
>Colonus squints.
>"No..."
>"Well, look harder. It's right there. Look, there's the Spire poking out right there."
>"I still don't see it."
>"Squint real hard, look right there. No, not there, there. The Palace is on the other side of the courtyard."
>Anonymous keeps pointing.
>Can he really see it?
>You finally look up.
>You think you can see what he means.
>You squint, but no details become apparent.
>You frown and set your coffee down.
>Your horn shines a little brighter as you bring up a spell to try and enhance your vision.
>Your coffee nearly spills when both of the not-so-blind guards stop and again spin around to face you, interrupting your cast.
>Queen Selena lets out a cackle at the sight of you three.
>"My dear son, Princess, We believe you have fallen for Our husband's playful ruse."
>"Father!"
>"Ah-hah, gotcha!" Anonymous stands and smiles, then musses up his son's faintly-flowing hair.
>Colonus frowns and whisper-yells at him.
>"Father, please! Not in front of the Princess!"

File: 1489656352973 - Copy.png (531KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

531KB, 1000x1000px

>>30702645
>You smile and shake your head, picking your coffee back up.
>Your own Mother used to do that sort of thing to Shining all the time when you were growing up.
>Oh the look on his face...
>It was a lot less funny when it happened to you.
>Better change the subject.
>You start walking and talking
>Starting with the town's founding
>Fun fact: you checked out Granny Smith's stories about founding this town and the details matched with other accounts
>She is...very old.
>You suppose at some point, the Apples stopped saying all the "Greats" in front of her name.
>Anonymous and Selena share a few looks between them while you talk, but Colonus seems very interested.
>It's...actually quite nice to have someone so interested in listening to your lecturing, even if it's history instead of the cutting edge of magic or friendship studies.
>There aren't even any other ponies out at this time of night, not in town anyway.
>Halfway there you feel another twinge in your horn and you try to suppress a frown.
>They definitely "teleported" another pony from somewhere very far away inside your castle
>And you weren't there to witness it.
>The things you do to be a princess...

===

File: moonponies mommy.jpg (57KB, 495x464px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 495x464px

>>30702651
>A few minutes later, a voice behind you calls out.
>"All-Father, Mother Moon!"
>Your group stops to look at the newcomer flying through the air.
>The guards make way for another moonpony to land.
>A mare, just as tall and thin as the prince, folds her wings before landing and giving the King and Queen a hug.
>Her hair has a green hue, bright as the aurora borealis, and is tied up with a flower glowing bright blue into a very long ponytail that slightly curls and flutters in the ethereal wind.
>Her dark blue robes, unlike the prince, are much shorter and tighter around her limbs, with silver-lined flaps for her wings and lacking a hood.
>Her glowing eyes share the same color as her translucent mane, and they shut tightly as Anonymous scoops her up.
>Her muzzle shares the shape with Selena, unlike the strong lines of the prince, and you can see the fangs underneath it in a smile.
>In light green magic hangs a cloth bundle, no doubt with the apples her grandfather asked for.
>She nuzzles Selena before looking at the rest of you.
>"Princess," Anonymous begins with a hand on her head just behind her horn, "allow me to introduce my granddaughter Villa Flosculus, Head of Agricultural Research."
>She bows to you and you nod your head.
>"Villa, this is Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship and ruler of Ponyville."
>"Pleased to meet you, Princess," her voice is much higher than even the Captain's, andshe offers you a smile before looking at the prince.
>"Oh. Hey Colonus."
>His jaw stiffens, but he manages to sound collected.
>"That's 'Prince' Colonus, Ms. Flosculus. Princess Twilight was just explaining to me the history of this city, and I must say I find it quite interesting."

File: 1501006617117.jpg (165KB, 967x1402px) Image search: [Google]

165KB, 967x1402px

>>30702658
>Villa huffs and turns her nose up away from him, her mane flowing through the air like a ribbon.
>"Ah yes, your title remains Prince. Perhaps you tend to the flower of love the same way you tended to my projects. I don't know why I would have expected otherwise."
>His eyes narrow and he opens his mouth to retort, but you interrupt him before he can start off a tirade.
>Even if you've never dated a colt before, you've seen how they can be when snubbed.
>Though you hardly expected a mare to do something like that to a prince in front of his own parents.
>Who does she think she is?
>His father seems to be holding back a laugh though, and his mother is looking at her son with a raised eyebrow.
"Um, do you two know each other?"
>"Well enough, I think," Villa begins, "to keep the PRINCE far away from anything that needs starlight to live."
>Colonus stomps one of his tiny hooves in the dirt.
>"It was one acre, and I won't be Prince much longer, you'll see!"
>Anonymous nudges him with a knee.
>"She does have a point though. Stallions your age usually--"
>"YES Father, I know. You and Mother have made your expectations quite clear on the subject."
"Well! Let's keep going, Sweet Apple Acres isn't far now, and I'm sure Granny Smith is up already."
>"Who?" Villa asks.
>Colonus sighs.
>"The Apple Family Matriarch. She presides over Sweet Apple Acres, around which the town formed."

File: 1500531830000.jpg (676KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

676KB, 1280x960px

>>30702662
>"I certainly hope the Prince stays away from the fields, or the town will starve."
>"We are going to negotiate for the use of some land upon which some of their trees grow, but does not actually belong to them."
>"Well you certainly are the right pony to clear land of vegetation."
>King Anonymous chuckles next to him, but Colonus stands taller as he walks.
>"I am going build an outpost here in Ponyville, starting with a Crater. That land is where it will be planted. You, Villa, are here at Father's request, not mine."
>"A first-name basis again? Nothing will yield from those efforts, Prince."
>"Alright, that's enough, Villa," King Anonymous says with a smile and takes a sip from his mug, "No need to keep flustering the colt, we're almost there...Wait..."
>You can see the fence and sign for the farm, and lights on in the house.
>Anonymous sniffs the air.
>"What is that? It smells like...but there's something wrong...something very wrong."
>You sniff too, but can't smell anything.
>"I smell it too," Colonus remarks, "something does smell wrong about it."
>Perhaps they have a greater sense of smell than you do.
>Another thing to remember for your notes.
>Soon you do smell what they were talking about.
"Oh, that's haybacon. Granny Smith likes to cook a hearty breakfast."
>"Hay...bacon?" Colonus asks.
"Yes, bacon made from hay. It's a favorite breakfast food for lots of ponies."
>Your ear twitches when you hear Anonymous whispering "blaaaaaasphemyyyyy..."
>The Queen whispers something back, but they don't make a fuss about it.
>The eight of you file through the gate and make your way to the house.
>You pound on the sturdy oak door.
"HEY GRANNY SMITH, IT'S ME, TWILIGHT!"

File: 1501212826314.png (2MB, 1082x1500px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1082x1500px

>>30702665
>You hear a faint voice from inside, along with some creaky hoofsteps.
>"Well you sure sound alright dear!"
>The door creaks open, revealing the old mare.
>She smiles and wobbles over to give you a hug, which you return.
"Good morning Granny Smith!"
>"Well I'll be!"
>She pushes you back with her hooves to look you up and down.
>"What in tarnation is a youngin' like you doin' up so early? Not even Celestia herself is up yet."
>She looks behind you at your little entourage.
>"Who on Faust's green earth are you folks? Some kinda...circus group? The fair grounds are closed fer the year, you need to come back later."
>Your heart jumps into your throat and you look back quickly at them.
>Damage control, damage control!
>Colonus and Villa look incredulous.
>Captain Frigoris has the same face your brother got in the royal guard,
>and Queen Selena has BOTH eyebrows raised now!
>And King Anonymous...just bursts out laughing.
>Like, really laughing.
>He even has to lean on his wife for support.
>...
>You hope AJ is awake.

===

and that's it for now. let me know what you think
https://pastebin.com/N6W5REma

>>30702668
Thanks for the green. I don't have much to say other than I really enjoy this story and want you to write more.

>>30702668
More please this is really good. The dialogue feels natural, Luna and Anonymous have good personalities as do their children.

>>30699798
>>30699792
>>30699744
>>30699671

>mares expect the humans to just slap at the zombies like the stallions they're used to
>are horrifically surprised when it's a total bloodbath on both sides.
>none of them have ever seen such gore and brutality before
>what disturbs them the most is that after it all ends, the humans remark that there were less casualties on their side than usual

>>30702529
But you must understand anon I'm killing her so she can't be hurt anymore she deserves a long peaceful sleep without any worries. I love her.

>>30702668
Fucking granny Smith, my sides are in orbit right now

>>30702762
seek help anon

>>30702668
aww yeah
thats the good stuff

>>30702668
Twilight is desperate to get MOONED by Colonus

>>30703182
Nah, she wants him to get EQUISED by her.

>>30702668
>>And King Anonymous...just bursts out laughing.
>>Like, really laughing.
>>He even has to lean on his wife for support.
>"Husband if you don't cease your merrymaking we may very well have to retrieve your sides from the neighbors backyard"

>>30702723
>They are even more horrified when they see the stallions cutting those who had been turned down and burning the remains without the slightest hesitation

>>30702668
i love you

>>30703182
>>30703227
She's craving to be COLONIZED.

File: 1499736763289.png (539KB, 648x1024px) Image search: [Google]

539KB, 648x1024px

>>30702668
I'm absolutely loving the ethereal and magical descriptions of the moonponies. I especially love their crazy otherworldly magitech and magic sensitive helmeted guards.

>>30703454
majestic as fuck

File: 1500789394102.jpg (904KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

904KB, 1920x1080px

>>30703765
das rite

>>30703228
>we may very well have to retrieve your sides from the neighbors backyard

>Giant, regal moon palace featuring grand spires, arches, and decor that is the pinnacle of moonpony architecture
>Next door neighbours: unremarkable middle-class suburban bungalow

Urban planning on the moon is inconsistent to say the least

>>30702668
There really is not enough Granny in RGRE, she is a fount of hilarity.

>>30703238
Haaaa, I like this image more than I could.

>>30703424
>>30703182
You're forgetting to include the RGR in your memes.
Twilight is the one who will embarass moon mare with her hot mare depths

>>30703938
nah senpai she thirsty as fuck

shes craving the moon dick

>>30703938
how can moon fillies even compete??? xDDD

>>30699777
and it is the instinct to care for the foal that tames NMM. Hmmmm. interesting premise.

>>30699823
Very good NoF. You should consider continuing it a bit more. Then come back with more 'Promised Land' if you could. Please?

>>30702665
>"Oh, that's haybacon. Granny Smith likes to cook a hearty breakfast."
>"Hay...bacon?" Colonus asks.
"Yes, bacon made from hay. It's a favorite breakfast food for lots of ponies."
>Your ear twitches when you hear Anonymous whispering "blaaaaaasphemyyyyy..."
>The Queen whispers something back, but they don't make a fuss about it.
"There, there Anon. You can begin your crusade against the heathens once the Crater is established."

>>30704513
bacon isn't even that good it's just crunchy meat strips

File: 1499263718433.jpg (193KB, 762x785px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 762x785px

>>30704528
Your one sick fuck, you know that right

File: Do it yourself.jpg (34KB, 330x500px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 330x500px

>>30704528
To yourself.

>>30704528
You absolute disgrace to humanity.

>>30704548
>>30704580
>>30704609
>actually enjoying food
get on my depression level faggots

File: 1487907855058.png (1MB, 1214x990px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1214x990px

>>30704528
>crunchy
1. you've overcooked it.
>strips
2. you're using american meme "bacon", rather than correct and proper back bacon

>>30702668
This is a good green.

>>30704736
Bacon is supposed to be crunchy you heathen.

>>30704739
Chewy and Crunchy both have their place, but I prefer crunchy most times.

Just don't overdo it. Burnt bacon is such a waste.

>>30703793
>Luna is a shut in now, was probably one before she was sent to the moon, when she was on dream patrol she did it alone, when she wasn't she slept
>Anon is just some guy from an alien planet
I doubt either of them will have a vast knowledge of how to decently plan out a city if they're lucky Anon played SimCity or City Skyline

>>30704778
I imagine you'd pick things up after a literal millenia.

>>30704528
>>30704739
>>30704746
>crunchy bacon
>chewy bacon
>not cooking it just right so that it melts in your mouth and can be torn about by poking it with your knife
I know you faggots have shit taste, but this? I'm just disappointed

File: 132646307304.png (100KB, 325x308px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 325x308px

>Are they arguing about cooking again?
>Yeah...
>Great, now we have to deal with a few weeks of passive aggressive one-upmareship, why cant they just buck each other in the face and be done with it?

>>30704807
Shut up Dash, or I won't do that thing you like with my tongue.

>>30704798
if such a large portion of the moon's population that they call you 'all-father' and 'moon-mother' because so many of them are related to you then I doubt they had time to learn for the first few centuries
i.e. "Just fucking build your house wherever"

>>30704807
what would be the rgre mare's equivalent of bacon?
i.e. the one food thing that every mare will argue about the correct way to cook whether they know how to cook or not?

>>30704815
I imagine they'd still have a pretty small population after only a few centuries, though.

>>30704807
Welcome to rgre motherfucker. Today you're learning how to cook a perfect fruit salad for your wifu! Sit down, shut up and eat ALL the eggs!

File: eat_the_eggs.webm (3MB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 960x540px

>>30704837

>>30704890
HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET HIS SCRAMBLED EGGS TO BE SO DRY IT LOOKS MORE LIKE A FUCKED UP OMELET HOLY SHIT

>>30704827
This, probably. If there was actually some kind of urban area on the moon, then the entire population would probably be centered there. Their biggest city/town would be their only one.

>>30704800
>melts in your mouth meme
Some of us like a little texture instead of flavored slime

>>30704824
Hay, or baked goods.
Maybe desserts, that mystery episode showed that no species could resist the allure of a perfect dessert.

>>30704807
>Anon is a complete janefilly, in all aspects except one
>When it comes to cooking, he is a typical Stallion.
>His kitchen is his kingdom.
>He's extremely opinionated, and will argue endlessly about how his way of cooking is the best, and how all these other faggots have no idea what they're doing.
>The only stallion to ever convince him he was doing it wrong was Mr. Cake.

>Most mares are terrible at cooking, but the few who are good at it, are strangely persuasive to him. >Whereas most stallions will ignore a mares advice on how to run their kitchen on principle.
>But Anon actually listens to Pinkie and Bon Bon, and especially Granny Smith, when they have some advice for him.

File: Anon.png (166KB, 426x440px) Image search: [Google]

166KB, 426x440px

>>30702668
The All-Father is Getting STRONGER

>>30702668
That was hilarious. Thanks for the green Lithonius. I agree with these Anons >>30702697
>>30702711 >>30703097 >>30703454. Keep up the good work and I look forward to the next update.

>>30704815
All-Father and Mother Moon are titles of affection that only the moonponies can use since Anon and Queen Selena are literally the progenitors of the entire moonpony colony. This was explained in our world building posts and in the early updates/chapters of Lithonius's story.

>>30704815
>>30705357
Yeah, they'd literally ALL be related to you.

File: 1499736762732.png (612KB, 724x1024px) Image search: [Google]

612KB, 724x1024px

>>30702668
>>30705357
>>30705373
I'm imagining a literal army of moon ponies living and training in a barracks right next to their massive 'crater' teleport pad, just waiting for someone to send word that the Equestrians made an attempt on the all-mother or all-father so they can immediately blast down and shit fury on everyone.

I figure their immortal rulers also doubling as their parents would instill some powerful loyalty and zealotry.

>>30705438
ALL moon ponies are trained in self defense at least. Just as ALL moon ponies are trained to do things in all aspects of moon colony life. It had just been them out there on their own so every pony had to pitch in. No task too small or to great. Are they all good at everything? Probably not especially since it seems Colonus can't grow plants to save his life but he does know the concepts. They are a peaceful society but they are prepared. My headcanon on this story is that King Anon and Queen Selena are stepping back a little bit and letting Colonus handle things. Preparing him to be the leader of the Moon colony outpost in Ponyville.

>more loyalty than zealotry
I think it goes both ways. Again because they're all in it together.

>>30705438
>Anon starts choking with laughter.

>Meanwhile at alpha moonbase
>A small but ornate gemstone embedded on a wall begins to glow with a sharp bell-like noise, the nearby moonites gasping in shock.
>"CODE BLUE, GOGOGO!"
>[Dozens of panicked teleport noises]
>Twilight goes crosseyed at the sudden magical pressure.
>NMM facehoofs
>Anon's lungs valiantly continue their attempt to supply their host with precious air in spite of his amusement.

>>30705175
Hey Twilight, have you seen my pan? It's not where I usually keep it.
>Oh, I got rid of that dirty old thing, it was too heavy anyway and I bought you this new one that's not only feather light, it's scientifically proven to-
GIMME THAT!
https://youtu.be/Nz80RBFLI28?t=17s

>>30705546
>all of Ponyville gets btfo by moonpony QRF armed with police batons

>>30705629
>armed with police batons
*armed with magical lances and blasting gems

>>30705546
>>30705629
>>30705715
>startle or panic the moon ponies they end up causing significantly more damage than even the changelings did to Equestria
>on accident

>>30702668
That was really good.

>>30702968
You're the one who needs help by not helping your waifu at her time of need she'll cry at first but will later understand why you did it in the first place she'll be forever grateful.
Her eternal sleep will empower and make her happy in the long run.

>>30705947
/trash/ is a few doors down

I'm confused; if all moon ponies are the children of Selena and anon, then does that mean they spend the first few years churning out foals? How long do they live? Are they breeding with their brothers and sisters? Is there magic invoked to avoid the mutations that come from inbreeding? What about the inherent ick factor of boning a sibling?

I love the idea of high-magic moon pones, but inquiring minds need to know the truth.

>>30706323
yes, the people must know!

>>30706323
Well, if Anon and Nightma- I mean Selena are magical enough to turn the moon habitable and lush with greenery then I imagine they can prevent in-breeding issues and deformities.

>>30706323
>>30706355
If I remember correctly the two most popular concepts were:

1. NMM, Anon and her/their followers were all banished to the moon. They all had foals with each other to ensure genetic diversity.

2. Magic hand waving.

My headcanon is it's both.

File: Deus Vult.jpg (24KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 480x360px

>>30704528
Peacekeeper-chan is here to kill you now.

>>30706551
Still don't like #1. It ruins the effect of just Anon and NMM's lonely struggle to build something from nothing.

>>30706323
>>30706355
>>30706660
One possible solution: NMM is shown to be a shapeshifter, what with being an alternate form to Luna, and being able to transform into inanimate objects and three separate ponies. It is entirely possible that once she decided to colonize the moon, she split into at least three mares with very different genetic makeups. That would also explain why some of her children are more NMM than Luna, if she was using a form that was more NMM than Luna.
Meanwhile Anon ends up with an ever-changing one mare harem.

>>30706891
what

no

>>30706660
I get that. Both options appeal to me and it is difficult to choose one over the other.

>>30704528
At least someone gets it

>>30706911
How about NMM can't split up, but can still shapeshift, and thus vary the gene pool on her end?

File: shinobi.jpg (119KB, 822x768px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 822x768px

>>30706628
What about Shinobi-chan?

>>30707021
How about it's just magic and alicorns don't suffer from failing gene pools or genetic abnormalities.

>>30705715
I prefer to picture a bunch of moonponies beating the shit out of everyone in Ponyville, swinging police batons with the Half-Life 2 3rd person crowbar swinging animation

>>30707104
I like it better where Alicorns just have an inherently diverse gene pool to draw on, being that they encompass Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth ponies (and possibly Zebras and other off-screen pony types)

Any children an Alicorn has, is a roll of the dice what they are if they aren't also an Alicorn, and they would also have diverse genetics (if not to he same level as an Alicorn).

Throw Anon into the mix with his entirely alien genetics, and defects from inbreeding become a very distant concern. One that essentially doesn't apply to their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.

After a 1000 years, it might be a potential concern for their distant descendants, but oh look, the magical exile is over and they can start intermixing with the likes of Purplesmart, how fortuitous.

>>30707261
>After a 1000 years, it might be a potential concern for their distant descendants, but oh look, the magical exile is over and they can start intermixing with the likes of Purplesmart, how fortuitous.
nah
how do you think humans started senpai

we began from two and blossomed into seven billion

>>30707272
more like we came from proto-humans and slowly changed over time.

File: 1377335773357.png (42KB, 602x555px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 602x555px

>>30707286
ok senpai

When did Poppedanon last post?
Did he an hero?

>>30707261
>"Anon, my …sister… and I are about one-sixteenth Breezie from our Mother's side of the family. Thanks to my ancestry, I have magical affinities even my extensive memory has long since forgotten."
"So, is that why you like it when I-"
>"Yes. Yes, it is. Now pass me the moonsugar, I need it for the cake."

>>30707407
He said, "soon"

File: bUfr3Ee[1].png (319KB, 610x495px) Image search: [Google]

319KB, 610x495px

>>30707641

File: e0d105d6284c9c21a2c512c701b0a238ec579e89e90ec3fc544d668b96d875b1.jpg (29KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 400x400px

>>30704906
This confirmes /rgre/ is the Gordon Ramsay of /mlp/.

>>30707935
Well...if it was gonna happen, it would be here.

>>30707261
Okay, that solves the genetics problem, how about the age, incest aversion, and pregnancy issues?

Personally, I like to imagine the "early days" as a period the moon ponies don't like to talk about.

>>30707935
I thought we confirmed that with the two-thread shitstorm over the ketchup incident.

>>30708161
Or, maybe incest isn't taboo to them as it is in normal society since they don't suffer the adverse effects of it.

Cultural differences and all.

File: nightmare moon a cute.jpg (269KB, 1024x1325px) Image search: [Google]

269KB, 1024x1325px

thanks for all of the positive feedback guys

>>30706323
>>30706355
>>30706551
i've actually thought about this quite a bit and have planned scenes in the story where they address this.i'm going to try to avoid magical handwaving, but I also have to take into account Anon's magical properties, (including his immortality), genetic compatibility, alicorn anatomy/magic, and factor in how they came together tee hee to produce their unique offspring. Either way I'm not going to make it a crisis that needs to be averted with copious amounts equestrian hoerspussay. 1000 years is only so many generations, after all.

anyways, i'm working on the next installments already. it will probably be a bit of a longer wait though, sorry.

>>30708237
Das ist urkomisch.

Also, are we going to see the Celestia, Selena, and Luna initial interaction?

>>30708168
Shit is not a condiment.

>>30707935
Anon is an idiot sandwich.

>>30707463
>>"Yes. Yes, it is. Now pass me the moonsugar, I need it for the cake."
>moonsugar
>That's no pony.
>That's a kajhit.

>>30707407
You are poppedanon.
Get back to writing.

>>30707021
>NMM can't split up
>Long long ago in a distant land, there was a man.
>This man met a lady and they grew to like eachother
>Their friendship was such that by the laws of that far-away land, they had passed from being good friends into being married.
>Many would think that this would be wonderful news.
>They would be correct, but only technically correct.
>For this happening did cause wonder in the man, who wondered "Why the fuck should I be considered married just for some casual fisting?"
>And with no good answer to this question, he decided to fuck right off and get the hell away from these lunatics.
>The wise and beautiful ruler of the land would not let a marriage be torn asunder and had her trusted guards return the man to his wife's home.
>It only escalated from there.
>This wise, white, wonderful princess of the day had really fucked up.
>Such was the intensity of the tantrum-spiral that the shit-storm blotted out the light of the sun and cast the world into eternal night.
>Seizing her chance, the wife fled the country so that her husband might have dearly needed his time alone.
>But no story can have a happy ending, and as the beloved blue beauty buggered off she was hit with more than just any old mean words.
>She was hit with mean magic words from the furious sister.
>"FUCK YOU BITCH IF YOU LOVE THE MOON SO MUCH AND HATE GOOD DECENT PONY SOCIETY LIKE SOME KIND OF TURBOCUNTGARGLER WHY DON'T YOU JUST LIVE THERE FOREVER!"
>And with that the three were torn apart forever.
>The man left to roam the world, not willing to stay under the power of the princess.
>The woman lived in her cabin on the moon, upgrading it over the years.
>And the princess dearly missed her sister.

>>30708310
That's actually a good idea for a separate bit of green.

>Anon and the Sisters were close friends, but he got on better with Luna.
>Anon and Luna began dating. much to Celestia's inward sadness.
>Despite his support, she still slowly became Nightmare Moon.
>During her finally going apeshit on Celestia, Anon is there, pleading with her to stop.
>To Luna and Celestia's horror, Anon is gravely wounded in the crossfire.
>Luna is banished, and Anon is caught in the afterwash of the Elements.
>Weeks later, Anon wakes up in Canterlot, the capitol having been moved, from his coma.
>Finds out what happened.
>Celestia begs for forgiveness, but also affirms it was the right choice.
>Anon basically says "fuck you" and blames Celestia for the whole mess.
>Despite her pleading, he leaves Equestria in disgust.

>A thousand years later, on the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, a mysterious biped arrives in Ponyville...

>>30708310
>That's a Khajiit.
>"May your road lead you to warm sands, my friend."
"Luna, honey, stop. I know I called you an animal in the sack but you really don't need to turn into a literal cat girl."
>"I thought you liked me no matter what form I took?"
"I can only produce so much sperm in a day, love."

>>30706323
http://genetics.thetech.org/ask/ask113
>If you start a new population with a group of "average" people, then the numbers I've heard are around 160 or so, 80 men and 80 women.

this is, of course, without any kind of magic

>>30708418
alternatively

>A thousand years later, in the castle of the two sisters, Twiggles finds a strange statue in the main room, holding aloft a stone sphere, its face twisted in rage
>At its feet, a broken and enraged mare

>>30708595
>Oh hey, Don't I have that spare stone-to-flesh scroll lying around?
Alternatively twiggles finds the statue thinking it was sick pro-stallion art, because hey, the male doesn't seem to need no mare and decides it'd be a nice center piece for the new pony-vile gardens, which she then invites the other princesses to

>This thread
Where is my fucking Video nerdmare RGRE?

>>30709890
did the NEETpone thread die already?

>>30709851
>twiggles
>pozzed
>somehow successful in anything
not believable at all.

>>30708237
>Either way I'm not going to make it a crisis that needs to be averted with copious amounts equestrian hoerspussay
Thank goodness.

>Be chef Ramsneigh.
>There has been no sign of a frown on your muzzle for the entire day.
>The reason? The alien colt has decided to show you his cooking!
shitty page nine prompt

>>30708418
>Anon leaves the castle in a rage.
>So blinded that miles away from the castle, he is blindsided by a cockatrice.
>While turning to stone he catches and starts strangling the thing.
>The bird soft stones itself to preserve its life, while Anon is made an imperfect statue.
>Anon hangs in a limbo, contemplating many things.
>Goes mad, gets bored, turns sane again.
>He makes peace with Celestia in his mind.
>Until one day an Orange mare crashes into him while running from the local Timber Wolves.
>The aura he still exudes spooks them off, savng her.
>She marvels at the statue until she sees the beast still in his grasp.
>Time to call in the Stare Master.

>>30713368
That pussy-resolves the story's central conflict-triangle between Anon, Celly, and Lulu, Anon.

>>30713607
It doesn't quite resolve it, Cel still has 1000 years of guilt and forgiveness is not to forget. Maybe Anon has fallen out of love having been alone in his own mind for 1000 or so years.

>Be Incognito Blood Drinker
>Leader of the Skin Ripper Clan
>For too long you and your tribe had been suffering in the cold of Norsica, fighting for your lives from monsters and demons
>The dwarves hid in their mountain halls, only coming out to burn your villages
>The other cold-bitten tribes were no better, looting and murdering where they could
>But no more
>After the death of your father--who's still beating heart you had offered to the Blood Father-- you and your tribe had swept down from your mountain holds
>You had destroyed or subjugated all the tribes around you
>Even the mighty trolls had been forced to yield or die
>All throughout the blood-soaked carnage you had gained much favor with Blood Father
>He brought unmeasurable strength and ferocity into you and your men
>For some, his gifts had been a death sentence, but for those of strong wills his blessings were invaluable
>For many, many years you had fought, gaining men and strength, until, finally, All of Norsica was yours
>From the Bay of Blades to the far north where the old dragons slept your banner was hung and your altars to your dark god stood
>You yourself were also something less than human
>Few mortal weapons could harm you
>Sleep and food weren't needed, and you now had the strength to crush a giant's skull like it was an egg
>You were ready now
>First you would sweep aside the dwarves, kill them in their mountain holds and steal their wealth
>Then you would go south, where the southern children were
>Those soft, pot-belly men that knew nothing of hardship
>You'd ride down to their lands
>You'd burn their pitiful towns to the ground, steal their wealth and rape their women and butcher their children
>And you'd keep riding south until the southerners blood overflowed the world's rivers
>For your people
>For your glory
>For the Blood Father and his gifts
>Thirty thousand men had come with you from the far north
>Berserkers, Chosen, hounds, even the trolls and giants

>>30713738
>Just like yourself, they seeked the glory of the battlefield, to taste the blood of enemies on their lips
>At that moment you and your army had surrounded the great dwarven hold of Sjoktraken, as you had been for some days
>The dwarves, seeing your horde, had decided to hide behind their walls
>They were no doubt waiting for some of their brethren to come to their aid through their underground roadways
>And that was fine with you
>Let the stunties come
>No matter how large the force you'd crush them under your heel and erect an altar of skulls in the middle of the hold
>And after that you'd--
>"Are you sure you wouldn't like something to wear, Incognito? I know that I'm rather warm, but it IS very nippy out."
>You stopped your inner monologue at your mount
>This creature was a gift from the Blood Father, a mighty steed with wings and a horn who had some ability with magic
>On paper, she would have been a gift to cherish, but in actuality...
"I've lived in this blasted cold all of my life," you told your mount, rocking back and forth in your saddle. "It's barely even noticeable."
>Your mount raised an eyebrow
>"Are you positive? Big, bad warlord or not, you're still a stallion dear, and I'd hate to see my favorite human catch a cold."
>Your eye twitched
"Your concern is unneeded, Celestia. I'm--"
>The tip of your mount's horn glowed
>There was a pop, and something settled on your shoulders
>Looking at yourself, you saw that you were now partially wrapped up in a blanket
>A fuzzy pink blanket
>"There you go, dear!" your mount chirped with a happy smile. "Now the two of us can ride all day without me having to worry about you
>One of your bloodriders snorted
>Eye twitching, you made note of the man so you could kill him later before letting out a sigh
>At least this isn't as bad as when she insists to snuggle with you whenever you DO try to sleep...

>>30713831
Done. More autism

>>30713738
Ow the edge

>>30700574
Why must you hurt me, random Anon?

File: portrait31.png (28KB, 128x128px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 128x128px

>>30707261
>Genes are NOT blueprints. This means you can't, for example, insert "the genes for a pegasus' wings" into a unicorn and get a royal feather duster. There are no genes for wings.

File: moondancer spellsmith-2-small.png (291KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

291KB, 500x500px

>Walking home through the late-evening Canterlot streets, you try to clear your mind off work.
>Some mare acquires a lock to the spot of pavement in front of you, forcing you to synchronize.
>You speed up to a canter to get home faster and, perhaps, occupy your mind with not running into somepony.

>Cooking another dinner for one back at home, you forget to chop the parsley until the last possible moment, and it throws your routine off.
>Lazy eval always bites you in the butt later, like that timing problem you had last week at work...
>You fix your recipe to eagerly prepare all ingredients at appropriate times and start reviewing the changes before you even realize what you're doing.

>Reading the Spellforge Weekly before bed, you stumble upon a request for comments for a new Kth order statistic algorithm.
>At half past midnight, you guiltily catch yourself checking the proof for its asymptotic bounds.
>You will get back to practicing drawing tomorrow, you promise.

>Going to bed for another not-enough hours of restless sleep, you try counting clouds to black out quicker.
>The clouds came as a collection, and you know the count instantly.
>You order them by size and then iterate over them instead, and fall asleep satisfied with your own quick thinking.
...

>"Yeah, but do you have any hobbies? What else do you do in your spare time?"
"I don't know"

>>30713738
>and you now had the strength to crush a giant's skull like it was an egg
Crushing an egg in your hand is pretty tough thing to do, actually. Its shape spectacularly distributes outside pressure.

>>30713831
>>One of your bloodriders snorted
kek

>>30713856
So edgy it puts a mountain of freshly-broken glass to shame.

>>30713941
Now I'm imagining the mane 6 as faction leaders
> Provost Sparkle
> Sister Applejack
> Colonel Dash
> Lady Fluttershy
> Commissioner Rarity
> CEO Pinkie Pie
> Chairmare Starlight Glimmer

>>30714724
Admittedly, Pinkie Pie doesn't really fit, but Flim and Flam would be out of place in a different way.

>>30714472
Lol what kind of weak faggot can't easily break an egg in their hand?

>>30714737
>Of course we'll bundle our PonkaNet software with the new network nodes, silly! Our customers expect no less of us. We have never sought to become a monopoly. Our parties are simply so good that no one feels the need to compete with us. --Where do you want your Cake today?

>>30714653
We'll he IS a khornathe norsican from the sea of blades, he's by definition the edgiest one can be in WHFB.

>>30713831
Hey now; Khorne hates magic and magic users. Why would he gift a magic casting steed to a champion. It would make more sense if she was a gift from Tzeench, or stolen from a Tzeenchian warlord.

>>30715645
Tzeench impersonated Khorne to gift the horse as part of his plan.

and now the night in burgerland begins. will the thread survive, or starve?

>>30715709
>>30715645
>>30715554

LaP must now post a story about a Homely Nurglite being politely turned down by mares.

>>30713968
is there more to this or not?

File: 1500663120900.jpg (23KB, 500x403px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 500x403px

there is never enough green of bronze-age anon

>>30714472
It's only if you're squeezing it vertically, faggot.

>>30714472
Jesus Christ you are one weak motherfucker. I've seen a starving person break a egg in his hand, yet you can't? Like, holy shit man come on.

>>30713968
>tfw your autism leaves you like this irl

>>30715234
>>30716969
Actually the curvature of the egg distributes weight on it's vertical points very well, this is why people are able to walk on eggshells. It's actually not that hard. In history people used curves like that to jetty houses too so a second much larger than the first floor would actually be more stable than if it was a straight horizontal shoot up.

Man, this general has really slowed down the past few days. Is it some sort of holiday or something that I don't know about?

File: 1502604236359.gif (3MB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 400x225px

>>30717078
Anon... the hiatus is over. New horse episodes.

>>30717090
Angry Flutters needs a hug.

File: 1452545858085.png (267KB, 962x804px) Image search: [Google]

267KB, 962x804px

>>30717107
This is what happens when there aren't enough stallions to go around to temper mares.

File: 1462203676116.png (496KB, 981x1109px) Image search: [Google]

496KB, 981x1109px

>>30717185
>mares constantly angry and irritable or flat out depressed from lack of stallion attention
would you

would you break the curse

File: 1491461903162.gif (2MB, 402x402px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 402x402px

>>30717212
>There is an immense fear of dying alone among mares, as such a thing happens with alarming frequency.
>A rare few end up in small herds were they're treated well.
>Many end up in larger herds were the unlucky ones are largely pushed to the side for favorite mares.
>But since they're the stronger gender, they keep it to themselves. It results in frazzled emotions and lapses in thought.

>Get a waifu and remain mono
>With the looming and emotionally taxing pain of being alone gone, she can think straight.
>All the genuine and loving one-on-one attention lets her focus on other things. Like the newfound common sense the peace of mind gives her.
>Like blinders being taken off, your waifu takes a step back and sees all the absurd actions and leaps of thought that go on around her, all done by other ponies. It shocks her that she didn't see it before.
>Only the other extremely rare mono mares like Mrs Cake and Cadence see it too.
>Love really is a life changer...

File: Fluttershy Yandere 10.png (460KB, 698x693px) Image search: [Google]

460KB, 698x693px

>>30717319
I vote for Fluttershy being in the mono relationship.

After a months long secret courtship where she planned out every "sudden meeting" and took out reservations in his favorite restaurants and she just so happened to be "tragically stood up" by a friend or date.

>>30717319
>Ponies only gain common sense when they feel loved and secure

This explains *so fucking much*.

>>30717319
>Waifu Rainbow
>Twilight is shocked and more than a little upset that Rainbow of all ponies is suddenly better than her at logic puzzles.

>>30699557
>>>30717319
>>Ponies only gain common sense when they feel loved and secure
>
>This explains *so fucking much*.

Doesn't this apply even to humans?

>>30717354
Along with better logic, Rainbow is also alot more calm and focused.

>>30717345
Also explains why cadence fucked off to a completely different kingdom the first chance she got.

Not a huge fan of mono in +3:1 ratio equestria.
It seems like ponies would have evolved for the males to generally be able to split their attention multiple different ways between their mares. Granted, excessive numbers (5-6 or more) wouldn't be able to sustain equal balance, but 3 shouldn't really be an issue for a species with it's brains wired to process emotion and attention this way.

This would also explain why stallions are so flighty (too used to jumping around from one topic/situation to the next, to the next), where as mares are heavily key'd into focusing on one thing clearly and concisely.

>>30717319
> Ponies calm down and think clearly when they get enough love and attention from their stallion
This is perhaps the saddest thing. Imagine a mare who loses her stallion in some way. She can feel herself start to slip as the loneliness builds up again. Eventually she becomes as irritable and irrational as every other mare, but she still remembers a better time, when she could be better than she is now.

This would also affect how herds form. Say one mare manages to snag the attention of a stallion. Once she can think more clearly, she wants to save her friends from their own mistakes, and persuades her stallion to bring them in and give them some of his love.
In this scenario, the mane six are just shy of too large a friend group for a a stallion to handle.

>>30717319
this makes the "Anons immigrate to Equestria" more meaningful

imagine how far ponies will go with their entire population focused into a razor's edge and earth's scientific marvels

the thought alone makes me giddy

>>30717319
>>30717825

also

>peppering your waifu with kisses and attention is akin to sharpening a blade and tempering steel
>your waifu becomes THE ULTIMATE POWER

File: 1362699169174.jpg (132KB, 1000x557px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 1000x557px

>>30717319
>>30717760
>>30717825
>>30717840
Makes changelings even more horrifying if you think about it.
Would also explain why their victim doesnt notice any discrepancies in the act, they're slowly becoming more irrational as they get love drained.

>>30717890
that would explain why bughoers was so cunning, and how she could fool so many ponies at once. after she got rid of meddling cadance and mind-controlled shining, the only pony in the whole operation with any clear thinking (i.e. love) was herself.

>>30699661

Bellies will be rubbed, in public or not.

>>30714724

Who subs for Svengard, Aki Zeta Five, Chi Dawn, Dormai, Judaa Maar and Lular H'minee

>>30717890

I like this. It gives ponies a more alien feel, instead of them being merely quadrupedal humans.

File: 1486063859558.jpg (88KB, 372x429px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 372x429px

>>30718578
>Twilight feels pushed away by Shining before the wedding
>sees that Cadence is acting strange
>the loss of love from her angry brother starts to affect her
>acts irrational when trying to explain to her friends due to not feeling as loved as she was before.
>by the time she is captured she loses the love of everyone she cares for
>doesn't question why Cadence would capture her and put her in a cave with herself but somehow starved, scuffed, and dirty
>attacks on sight
>as soon as Cadence proves that she is herself and still loves Twilight she becomes rational immediately
>Chrysalis' success and threat level make sense
>the episode makes sense
>Lesson Zero makes sense
>Nightmare Moon makes sense
>Discord makes sense
>Celestia makes sense
>tfw a random fan theory ties together the worst parts of the show's canon.

>>30718622
Never played the expansion, so I don't really have a grasp of those factions or their leaders.

File: IT ALL FINALLY MAKES SENSE.png (558KB, 659x499px) Image search: [Google]

558KB, 659x499px

>>30718676
>MFW love is as big as friendship as a physical manifestation in pone biology
>MFW every illogical event in the show can be explained by a lack of friendship and love

and we're just finding this out now

>>30718977
This is the part of the story where government agents come to disappear your inquisitive ass for knowing too much

File: death.gif (799KB, 200x189px) Image search: [Google]

799KB, 200x189px

>>30717319
>>30717760
>>30717825
>>30717840
>>30717890
>>30718578
>>30718676
>>30718977
someone fucking screencap this holy fuck

>>30719052
>A new villain tries to introduce the internet, including /r9k/ so that ponies will become so depressed they won't be able to stop him.

>>30718676
>>30718578
I always assumed that ponies tinies braines thanks to their big-asss eyes required magic to run fast enough to be able to work at the same level of a human. And magic and friend ship are a kind of magic (or something)
Which is why Twilight is the smartest pony and Celestia is all about them keikakus.

File: BOLTREAD.jpg (1MB, 2248x1500px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2248x1500px

>>30718977
>>30719052
The jig is up. Welcome to the World of Darkness Anons.

File: 138892192415.png (438KB, 641x815px) Image search: [Google]

438KB, 641x815px

>The maretriarchy exists.
>Cadence was behind it all along.

>>30719052
>>30719063

>Villain Anon in RGRE
>figures out ponies literally need love and friendship to function properly
>introduces the internet to Equestria, including the pony version of 4chan
>the shitposting and bile affects everyone who uses the site, with only the ponies who don't have computers remaining unaffected
>depression skyrockets across the country
>Anon's robot army easily conquers most of Equestria in their depressed state

>>30719343
>Anon's /robot/ army easily conquers Equestria in their depressed state

File: 49666.jpg (21KB, 754x850px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 754x850px

>>30717890
OH SHIT

>>30717890
>>30719536
Explains why the changelings were so cunning and able to get so far. They literally feed off of everyone's love, therefore they might as well be sapping away their intelligence and rationality.

File: 1495061703051.jpg (115KB, 897x891px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 897x891px

>>30719559
Would you have a brainy lovebug as your alphamare?

>>30717319
>>30717890
>>30718578
>>30718676
>It makes sense
How do you people keep coming up with this?

File: dsp2003-moondancer-ruined-sweater.png (301KB, 665x665px) Image search: [Google]

301KB, 665x665px

>>30716993
Same shit, sis
I was asked this by head of hr shortly after I was hired at my current workplace. I fucking panicked.
>>30716369
Moonie's struggle never ends.

File: 1502649336088.png (264KB, 2494x1052px) Image search: [Google]

264KB, 2494x1052px

would you help your waifu put her panties on

>>30719259
I want more cousin Cadence

>>30718676
Call Hasbro, we cracked the code

>>30720020
As do I, based Anon. As do I.

>Be Nameless
>Whisperer of the dark ones
>Raiser of the dead
>Master of all things magic
>The greatest of all necromancers
>After nearly a century of study and work, you were nearly about to do it
>With part from every creature from the old world, and some dark magics never before seen on this world or any other, you were about to create the perfect undead
>One that could not be destroyed, or banished
>An unstoppable monster with claws of steel and the strength of a hundred men
>It's teeth would tear through the flesh of orks, men, and dwarves alike
>It would also have an animalistic intelligence that would be invaluable on any battlefield
>And, most important, it would be completely loyal to you
>It'd be stronger than a hellbat, faster than any vampire, more vicious than any skinchanger or follower of the blood god
>Your creation, if it worked how you expected it to, would just be the beginning
>You'd create an army of these monsters
>Thousands
>Tens of thousands
>So many that no one, no pitiful vampire lord, or weakling human king would be able to stop you
>All you needed was one final ingredient
>A sliver of heart from a great frost dragon
>This was by and far the most difficult part of your masterpiece to acquire
>Dragons were a sturdy, old, and very powerful breed
>Time and time again you raised entire armies of undead to send at the creatures, only for your forces to be utterly and completely destroyed
>But you were persistent
>Persistent and with a tactical genius expected of a man of your stature
>After much searching, you found a very old drake in the northern waste
>The beast was slumbering, as it most likely had for the last few hundred years
>It didn't even realized what was happening until your skeleton knights and ghouls were tearing into its hide
>Just like every over battle that you had had with these creatures, it had been a truly fearsome one
>Fifteen thousand of your minions had fallen in battle
>But you had done it

>>30720957
>Landing the final blow yourself--a very fine blow if you did say so yourself-- the beast had crashing into a mountain range, dead
>It had only been a matter of cutting into its belly and pulling out it's giant heart
>A heart that would be a fuel for a hundred thousand of your creations!
>Rubbing your hands together gleefully, you strode through the halls of your dark stronghold
>You had left the dragon heart in your courtyard, guarded by a platoon of skeleton knights
>Floating next to you, held aloft in your mighty aura, was a single sliver of the heart
>At that very moment, you were making your way toward your laboratory, intent one finishing your creature as soon as possible so that you could test it out
>There was a small human settlement not too far away
>That would be the perfect place to see how your creation did, as well as give you much needed building materials
>For the first time since you had begun walking down this dark path of horror and death, you found yourself smiling as you grabbed the door to your laboratory and twisted it open
>First a human settlement, then you'd begin attacking those blasted Von Carstein strongholds
>After that, well, you'd have to--
>You froze as you looked at your creation
>...Or what was left of your creation
>"Hmmm? Oh, Nameless, darling, I didn't expect you see you back at the castle so soon!"
>Eye twitching, you slowly looked over toward the only living creature in this stronghold, Lady Rarity
>Or so she insisted that she be called
>The talking unicorn, who looked particularly proud of herself, trotted over to you with a smile on her face
>"Goodness me do you look ravishing this afternoon," she said, fluttering her eyelashes at you. "Riding really does wonders for your complexion, darling."
>A dozen things flashed through your mind, nearly all of them were violent
>Actually, ALL of them were violent

>>30721096
>In fact, if the unicorn in front of you wasn't your primary source for gathering warp stone, you'd have blasted her to pieces and used her soul as a jump rope
"...Rarity, what in the name of the dark gods did you do to my creation?"
>Rarity's smile grew a bit more
>"While you were away I was giving a bit of artist's block for my next line of creations, so I decided to take a walk around your lovely abode," the mare said, pressing a hoof against her temple. "I didn't know WHAT I was going to do, but then I saw this creature of yours and--"
>The mare clapped her hooves together, looking positively giddy
>"--the INSPIRATION just came flooding back!"
>You covered your mouth with your hand
"...Why it is pink now?"
"Because this is a stallions creature, dear, and you should know just as well as I that pink is the stallion's color."
"And what happened to the claws?"
>"I didn't want you to hurt yourself with them so I took out both them and any sharp teeth."
>You opened your mouth to say something, only to cover your mouth with both hands
>A fire spell came to mind, one that would rip the unicorn apart both body and soul
>You then thought of a spell that would twist her soul in the most painful ways imaginable, so that she'd spend the rest of eternity in absolute agony
>Finally, you were able to find yourself
"I... I have been working on this for three hundred years. Your line wasn't even alive when I began collecting the parts for this beast," you said, oddly calm.
>Rarity's smile didn't waver
>"And now you can show this off to your stallion friends and they'll be green with envy, dear," she said, giving your leg a nuzzle. "No need to thank me. I was happy to help."
>Your eye twitched again
>Fucking ponies...