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Royal Guard Mare Thread #31

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Thread images: 89

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>ongoing
Brave and Vannie - http://pastebin.com/8E2vAnyi - http://pastebin.com/PqiY52Zi
Careful's Charge - http://pastebin.com/CkZbn3E6 - http://pastebin.com/NtTss5aN
Magic and Mud - http://pastebin.com/mTAB4nnE
Whiskey and Cigars - https://pastebin.com/7M3ryVcQ

>hopefully ongoing
Going Bump in the Night chapter 8 - https://pastebin.com/xfXw9RsT

>ded
Finding It - http://pastebin.com/QxyZ3BfR
Feather Scarf - http://pastebin.com/u4HbciFL
Sniper Anon - http://pastebin.com/3eN6HitC
Silver Star - http://pastebin.com/ggWTgWeK
Meadow Stockade - http://pastebin.com/kWgzxg5d
Copper Wing - http://pastebin.com/x8UJTEhz
Anon’s Regiment - http://pastebin.com/ruhuxiA6

>random
"Sir, Yes Sir!" - http://pastebin.com/9WeeGgq7
Duty Bound - http://pastebin.com/WfLZh5EW
Anon Pointedly Does Not Get Sex with a Guard - http://pastebin.com/zi1KcnVC
Sirdubs: http://pastebin.com/ZVfta6Ti
Spankybat: http://pastebin.com/Q7viBeuf

>Remember, no homo.


Previous thread: >>30112160
>>
how many foals will careful and anon have and what will their names be?
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>>30201783
>>hopefully ongoing
Don't fucking do this to me
>>
>>30201997
Nani?

I will never give up hope anon.
>>
>>30202173
Hope would be an excellent guard pony name btw.

>She takes all the jobs that nopony thinks can be done, and this has left it's scars.
>>
>>30201783
Its...its beautiful, and with all their marecum it smells like the greatest breakfast buffet ever. I don't know if my dick or my mouth is drooling more.
>>
>>30201997
>>30202173
>>
>>30201783
Why haven't I noticed Vannie biting Brave's flank until now? kek
>>
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>>30201783
>anon, somehow cognisant of candy making procedures, bottles his lovers fluids after weeks of uninterrupted fucking
>he commissions the local candy shop to make boiled sweets with his secret ingredient
>anon becomes a billionaire as equestrians all around spend their entire worth on the sweet succulent candy
>anon enjoys "milking"his favorite mares daily and even commissions more mares to help with the production
>>
>>30201783
>content reviewed by ESRB
Equestrian Sexual Review Bureau
>>
Cute Brave and Vannie
They have new dresses to wear
Dressmaker Jealous
>>
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"Never worry, my little human!"
"I'll protect you from yhe evils of Page 9!"
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>>30205079
>>
shouldn't have made a new thread right away should have let it stay dead till there was some actual content
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>>30202867
>soon
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Bump
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>>30202867
WHEN
H
E
N
>>
>see thread this morning with no replies.
>decide to check out some of the non dead greens.
>binge read brave&vannie and carefuls charge during every second of free time i had at work.
I never asked for this, i came for cute not feels, yet i am left with a level of cuddle craving that is causing me slight physical pain.
The pillow i have in a deathgrip only reminds me that it cant hug back.
>>
>>30207083
Don't read the other two, they aren't worth it anyway
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>>30207114
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>>30207192
and of course I'm too tired to upload a proper image. Shame on me
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>>30207198
Its okay, sometimes your too tired and you reply to bait on accident. Happens to the best of us.
>>
>>30207114
>>30207192
War AU's that start in media res aren't my cup of tea anyway, read enough to know its good quality though.
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>>30207825
>good quality
>>
>>30114961
>It’s a necklace
>It loops through a small piece of driftwood that appears to have been inscribed with odd runes you can’t understand
>The string that it’s on had long since snapped and frayed
>You pick it up and inspect it after you put the other artifacts in your saddlebags
>Right as your horn starts to glow, Gallan grabs you by it, causing you to yelp and your cheeks to redden
>It also fizzles out your magic
>He also doesn’t let go
“G-G-Gallan let go I was just-“
>”Yeah I don’t need ya tryin’ anything funny right now. We’re leavin’, ya got that?”
>You simply nod
“C-Can you… Let go of my horn now? P-Please?”
>This was not the time to be getting aroused
>But it wasn’t your fault anyway!
>Gallan wouldn’t let go of your horn!
>HE STILL HASN’T!
>He picks you up by your horn and plops you down on his back as he scratches gouges into the glass that Madame Warden usually looked through
>”I can get us outta here faster if ya just hold on tight, little pony.”
>You wrap your hooves around Gallan’s neck and hold on, still recovering from him hefting you by your horn
>Predators are pretty hot
>Wait no
>Are these parasite thoughts or yours?
>What would Dad think?
>”Too tight, too ACK tight! Loosen’ up Rewind or yer liable to choke me out with that grip of yours.”
>You hadn’t realized how tightly you were holding on until now, and you loosen your grip
>”So the skylights aren’t barred, but the problem we gotta deal with when we’re out there is the guards on the towers. Don’t let go, ‘cos I’m gonna be doing some evasive maneuvers out there, got it?”
>You nod again
>Wait, how is he going to leave the room?
>>
>>30207977
>Gallan hefts one of the chairs in the room and tosses it through the glass he’d been weakening with his claws
>It shatters loudly, tumbling onto the ground below and exposing one of the cell blocks to you
>Gallan spreads his wings, which are much larger than a Pegasi’s by a wide margin
>With a single flap and a spring off of his powerful hindlegs, he launches himself through the hole made in the glass, tucking his wings back in to slip through unscathed
>From a catwalk below, you hear somepony yell out at you in Prench
>As you turn your head and glance, you see an odd sight
>There are two guards
>And one, contrary to your belief that they wouldn’t use Spitfires here, is currently levelling one at you
>But you’re too far away for it to reach you
>Or so you thought
>As the gout of flame shoots out, it’s stopped by a magical barrier that encapsulates it
>The Unicorn beside the Spitfire guard captures the fire inside and sends it hurtling towards you
>Luckily it seems that she had bad aim, and it misses you by a wide margin
>”Shit Rewind, hold on tight!”
>It seems that once again you were wrong
>She hadn’t missed
>She was leading her shot
>Gallan removes your hooves from around his neck and lets go of you, spinning around and wrapping his arms around you, along with his wings as the orb of fire explodes
>You feel the searing heat before he’s able to cover you up, and the two of you burst through the glass of the skylight and into the cold air of the outside
>When you open your eyes, you’re face to face with nothing but chest feathers, and while you don’t feel burned, there’s an odd heat on your back
>>
>>30207982
>It takes you a moment to realize that your uniform has caught fire
>And it caught fire underneath your armor
>You struggle to try and put out the fire, quickly unclasping the backplate and letting it tumble through the air
>With a flash of Gallan’s claws, your uniform shreds into tatters, the burning, smoldering pieces flittering away and burning up in the air
>It leaves you in nothing but your breastplate, hoofguards, and helmet
>How the gryphon managed to cut the uniform underneath your breastplate, you would have to ask later
>As of now he holds you underneath an arm as he flies the two of you away from this place
>Fiery munitions whizz past the both of you, narrowly missing as Gallan weaves, rolls, and dodges through the air
>It’s no wonder that both of you escape unscathed
>It’s almost as if Gallan had some sort of precognition to where they would fire
>As the two of you get out of their range, you look back at the prison-turned POW camp
>It’s on an isolated island of blackened stone
>Waves crash against the steep cliff that makes up the shoreline of the island
>It makes you that much more grateful that your cellmate had wings
>Even if you were to escape conventionally, there was no way you would make it off that island without stealing a boat
>Gallan readjusts, putting you on his back once more so he doesn’t have to hold you the whole time
>”You alright there Rewind? Gave me a pretty good scare back there with the fire.”
“I uh, think my fur’s a bit singed but I’m not too worse for wear. Thanks… Thanks again Gallan.”
>There isn’t much else you can really say to him other than that
>”Don’t mention it Rewind. Both of us did our part to get outta that shithole. Now? I’d say just relax and catch your breath. We got quite a few miles ‘til we get to the closest firebase.”
>>
>>30207995
>The entire flight across the sea takes a few hours
>It allows you to finally think clearly
>Or at least you hope it does
>You still don’t know how many thoughts are your own, and how many are caused by that parasite in your brain
>Would you even know?
>Maybe it’s making you doubt yourself right now
>You take a deep breath before you start to get yourself worked up again
>Gallan said to relax, right?
>It’s not like he was going to let you fall, and there was nopony trying to pursue you
>Which was surprising, seeing as how you’d seen Pegasi there before
>Maybe they didn’t see you two as a threat
>Oh how wrong they were
>You look in your saddlebag at the faintly glowing pendant you’d retrieved from the prison
>When you were on the ground once more, you would have to take a look and see where it took you
>What you might be able to change, in fact
>You hadn’t tried it in the last one
>But you got the feeling that trying to grab for the artifacts could get you killed, if the ponies in these brief glimpses into the past could interact with you
>Which was where the complications of time travel could arise
>You shuddered to think of what could go wrong as you clasped the bag shut
>Slowly your eyes start to drift closed as the sound of wingbeats and waves lull you to sleep in the afternoon warmth…
>>
>>30208001
>You’re awoken by a jostling of your ride
>That is to say, Gallan had finally landed
>As your senses come back to your waking mind, you become acutely aware of the fact that there’s the buzz of a crowd
>Your keen ears, trained by your time in combat and boot camp, pick up a multitude of sounds
>The sound of a grindstone grinding against metal
>The clashing of blades and sounds of flesh hitting flesh
>War drums
>Chanting
>You can very clearly hear the sound of what appear to be combat drills
>Your eyes focus and you look around
>There appears to be a circle formed around you by gryphons
>Lots and lots of gryphons
>Occasionally they look at each other and talk amongst themselves, but for the most part they stare intently at you and Gallan
>Much less staring, moreso… Glaring
>But it wasn’t anger you could sense from their eyes
>It was confusion, and perhaps anticipation
>”Alright then…”
>Gallan whispers to you
>”Rewind, I want ya to slowly hop down offa my back. These boys’re primed ta rush ya if you so much as wink at ‘em funny.”
“Wait, why are they so anxious?”
>Gallan lowers one of his wings so that you can slide off
>”Look, you already know we’re mercs. You really think we ain’t done our fair share of bad things ta ponies like you? Then suddenly I waltz in, bringin’ ya back ta camp on a silver platter? How ya think that looks to them boys, uh?”
>It LOOKS like a one way ticket to a hippogriff is what it looks like
>You gently slide off Gallan’s wing and onto the ground
>>
>>30208010
>Gallan then looks around at the gathered crowd and sneers
>”What in Tartarus are you standing around for you thirsty brutes? Get out of here before I give you all the whip!”
>Where did Gallan’s accent go?
>There’s a loud bark in unison of: “Yes Legatus, sir!” Before the crowd salutes and disperses
>This confuses you
>Gallan said he was a grunt, like you
>You turn to him and raise an eyebrow, to which he returns your look as he pats your head
>”I may have told you a little fib back there in the prison. I… Might actually be the acting Legatus legionis in these lands. “
>Oh Celestia why
>Why’d you have to end up partnered with a very, very important gryphon?
>Even if they were mercenaries, they were one of the most well-organized forces at play in this war
>Gallan wraps a wing around you and start to guide you along as he walks through the camp
>”Since you might be spending quite a bit of time here, I’ll be getting you fitted out for some armor; I’m sure you’d rather not walk around naked. If you’re keen to it, our smiths can put together a weapon for you.”
“That sounds great actually, thanks a bunch!”
>The Legatus grins at you, to which you return with a more reserved smile
>”We might be mercs, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have hearts, right?”
“It’s not too reassuring considering the kind of things ponies go through when they’re captured by Redclaws…”
>Gallan glances sidelong at you and clicks his beak, clearly annoyed
>”I could be pumping a couple hippogriffs into you right now, mare. Be grateful that I am not.”
>Your ears pin back at that, and you fall silent
>”Tch, ponies sending their womenfolk into battle, like some kind of sick joke. Gives me conniptions.”
>>
>>30208014
>A period of silence follows Gallan’s reserved outburst, but afterwards he seems completely fine
>And this isn’t the first time he’d threatened you with sex
>Maybe it’s still just an act, like back in the prison
>Maybe he just does it because he knows it shuts you up
>Either way, you didn’t like it
>And you were about 90% sure telling him that you didn’t care for it would make him do it more
>He just seemed like that sort of gryphon
“So uh, about that armor?”
>A short walk away is the armorer’s tent, where he takes your measurements
>He only feels you up about… 3 times
>Gallan tells you that’s pretty low
>Not that he has a metric to measure it on, seeing as how mares rarely come here willingly
>With their interesting forging techniques, it isn’t hard for them to whip up some armor for you
>It also probably helped that you only needed the backplate for the most part
>But soon enough you were decked out
>Surprisingly it’s more armor than before
>You had proper greaves now, in addition to your hoofguards
>And the backplate was made sturdy, but light enough for a pony like you to wear naturally
>The only difference between this Redclaw armor and your Equestrian Imperial Guard uniform however was…
>Well
>The gryphons didn’t quite believe in underclothes
>Wherever there wasn’t armor, there was only your bare fur to be seen
>And the skirt that was given to you (that admittedly all the gryphons wore) seemed a bit too short for your tastes
>And no underclothes meant NO underclothes
>Absolutely no panties were worn under this semi-armored skirt
>That wasn’t even the worst part though
>The worst part was the tailhole in the armor, and the wrappings that went around the base of your tail
>The combination of both made it so you kept your tail flagged at all times
>>
>>30208024
“This armor is… A bit revealing don’t you think?”
>You use your magic to tug down on the skirt slightly, but it doesn’t do very much
>”A bit, I suppose, but he’s not a tailor, he’s an armorer. And surprisingly, we don’t keep mare’s underwear around here. Go figure.”
>The sarcasm in his voice is palpable
>And while it might make you angry, he has a point
>You’ll just have to be careful
>…And ignore the draft
>Luckily nopony was around in Gallan’s tent but you and him
“Alright, alright. If it’s not too much trouble, can I ask that you leave me alone for just a bit? I’ve got some important business to take care of an-“
>Gallan lets out a deep, full-bellied laugh
>”You didn’t think that armor was free, did you? You’re one of us now. That means you go through the same initiation we went through when we joined the Redclaws.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, joined the Redclaws? I’m not-“
>Gallan steps closer and he lowers his voice, speaking to you sternly
>”I’m breaking a lot of rules just bringing you here, and even more letting you STAY. For these guys to treat you like one of their own, you’re gonna have to do the initiation.”
>You look down, glancing out of the tent just slightly and watching the gryphons mill about the camp, then at the emblem on your right spaulder
“Alright. Fine, I’ll do it. What the heck is this “initiation?”
>Gallan grins and starts to usher you outside into the cool night
>”I’m glad you asked.”
>>
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>>30208029
WEW
LAD
Boy do i have a lot of fun writing these interactions.
No >rape is gonna happen to Rewind, I wouldn't go that dark out of nowhere And I've only used the word hippogriff twice. Maybe it can stay that way. Who knows?
Sandstone is always tracking Rewind, and I'm sure he'd like to have some nice words with some gryphons
Gallan is a big important gryphon so that's cool too
I will post the recent bad end I wrote as a pastebin link sometime Soon™ for those that want to read it
>>
>>30208068
No bad end, war time travel mare is for cuddles, by humans. And not some filthy zebra.
>>
>>30208090
But Anon is a filthy interspecies too
miscegenation is bad all the time!
>>
>>30208105
Not when its pure human on pony love.
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>>30208068
>Gallan is a big gryphon
uuuu
>>
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>>30206605
NOW In the next 10 minutes

Continued from https://pastebin.com/xfXw9RsT
>>
>>30208561
Going Bump in the Night: Chapter 9

>The first thing that hits you as consciousness slams into you with the force of a freight-train is how unbearably dry your mouth is. Next is the pounding in your skull. If you had to describe the painful sensation, it would be like little men in your head taking sledgehammers to your brain. Or maybe the armored hooves of vamponines repeatedly kicking it. Not a fun experience either way. Just what did you do?
>Bleary images slowly play in your mind along with disjointed sounds, as if being presented with a half-broken projector. The bat bar, drinking with Umbra and Bright, then a few nameless friends who wandered over, and finally Umbra flying you back to your room in the morning sun. So a hangover is what this torture must be. Lovely.
>You groan lowly, only to stop and wince when the action makes your stomach churn threateningly. Instead you just bury you head into the chilled, softly snoring mass in your arms, enjoying the cool and plush fur against your aching head.
>...Wait…
>Cracking open your eyes just the smallest amount, you take in the sight of a disheveled cobalt mane and a pair of tuft-tipped ears. You squeeze the soft body in your hold with a bleary blink, earning a low “Mmm…” for your efforts. The faint smell of sweat and flowery shampoo is already present. So this can only be…

1/x
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>>30208573
“Umbra?” You ask quietly, still not feeling fully sober. “What are you doing here..?”
>The vampony, who you now notice is devoid of her armor, just mutters something in her sleep and snuggles back further into your arms with a content sigh.
>Oh god did you..!
>With effort worthy of being sung about in an epic, you fight through the fatigue and lift an arm just enough to let you peer down the covers on you and your guard. Thankfully, your clothes are still on. Even with that, the first urge that runs through you is to recoil from the overly intimate position. Not that you’ve never been willing to be close to Umbra, and ponies tend to be more touchy than humans, but this is... just a little too far. But for some reason other than the hangover, your body doesn't respond.
>You don’t WANT to move away.
“U-umbra?”
>Again, she doesn't move sans a twitch of her ear.
>You try to swallow, but your mouth is still bone dry.
>As carefully as you can, you pull her closer, taking great pains to move slowly lest you wake her and owe an explanation. Inch by inch, you close the already small gap between you and your best friend, your face practically glowing red as you do so. Finally, the vampony is laying flush against you, her wings twitching against your chest in her slumber. She smiles unconsciously and murmurs something too quiet to hear, making a small smile form on your face as well.

2/x
>>
>>30208576
>Idly, you run your hands across her taut stomach and the beginnings of her legs. The sensation of her impossibly soft coat on top of a thin layer of fat, all supported by a frame of whipcord muscle is fascinating for a reason you can't place. Your roaming fingers find and trace the occasional small scar across her belly, none bigger than what a mild cut could accomplish, but all of them hidden under her coat. Right at her hip, a thumb runs over a larger mark, definitely large enough to be a wound. But you’ve never seen Umbra injured in such a place though. Was that before she met you? That would be something you ask.
>Yet with all these little injuries, she still looks as perfect and beautiful as a masterpiece chiseled from marble. Even before your blood sharpened her features and smoothed over her blemishes, she still stood out amongst her kind. Her trim form, work ethic, and heart of gold aren’t all just passive bonuses of being a cuddly vampire.
>How luck you hard to have such a mare so close to you...
>“Mmm, run your hands lower, stud,” a sleepy voice starts, freezing you in place. “You’ll have to help me into mounting position though. My legs are still jelly from last night~”
>Lucky to have her? Nevermind. This little vampire is still a pain in the ass.

3/x
>>
>>30208579
“How long have you been awake?” you ask with pride at your lack of stutter. Too bad it does nothing for the heat on your cheeks. “And I already saw that my clothes are still on. Nice try though.”
>She turns her head and from her position spooned against you, which ends up pressing her cheek against yours, letting you feel the amused smile on her face. “Killjoy. I’ve been awake since you decided you wanted a closer cuddle and to feel me up,” she says with a giggle. “Jeez, you’re getting really bold. I half expected you to give my flank a squeeze, you raunchy human.”
>She wiggles said flank against you, and by against you, you mean right on your crotch, making your breath hitch.
“Umbra, don’t!”
>“Why’s that?” she asks playfully. “Admit that you like it, tough guy!”
“Umbra I swear to fucking god!” You exclaim in horror, trying to cross your still uncoordinated legs. “Do not! You’re on the fast track to becoming worst pony!”
>She just snickers and arches her back, driving her rump further into you. “Come on, prude. You li-”
>*poke*
>“-ke it…” she trails off with a confused blink. “What’s the..?” She pushes back again, nearly making you howl from what you feel under her tail, even through your pants. Her own face slowly turns bright red with a blush from the prodding. “O-oh. I guess you really DO like it…”

4/x
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>>30208583
>You just lay there, beyond mortified with yourself. Umbra says nothing as well, turning away and staring ahead with her cheeks so red it can be seen through her coat. Thankfully, the sheer embarrassment running through you curbs your arousal, but does nothing for your whirling thoughts and wish-for-death migraine. Is she going to be disgusted by such a reaction? You didn’t just fuck up your friendship with her, did you? All the times you’ve kept a lid on your rebellious body’s reactions from her teasing are meaningless now.
“...You know, you never did tell me why you're here.”
>Wow. What a stellar start to that conversation, dumbass.
>The pony in your arms shifts, but thankfully doesn't pull away. “Well, you got so trashed that I had to carry you home. When I put you in bed, you got grabby,” she says dryly. “Hell, you even said ‘lose the armor and get in. It get’s hot under the covers you pony-shaped icebox.’”
“I…” You pause, trying to recall your words through the fuzz in your thoughts. “I don’t recall that.”
>“I’m surprised you can even think straight now even after a full day's rest,” she replies, shifting around in your arms so the she faces you.
>You narrow your gaze to a squint when the luminescent glow of her eye not covered by her mane makes yours string from the light.
“I didn’t get that wasted?” You say, the statement coming out as a question despite your best efforts.
>“You did.”
You grunt. “No, you.”
>She snorts and doesn't reply.

5/x
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>>30208588
>Silence falls over the darkened bedroom room again, but thankfully it’s a more comfortable quiet than the previous awkward one.
>You let out a breath and let your eyes fall shut, making the throbbing in your skull lessen just the slightest amount.
>“How are you feeling?” Umbra asks quietly. “You really did get smashed yesterday. Bright nearly wanted to pump your stomach.” She pauses. “Well, she wanted to until you started swinging.”
You click your tongue. “I didn’t hurt her, did I?” You're going to feel like a real ass if you smacked poor Bright Night in a drunken hissy fit.
A melodic giggle is your answer. “Nope. Swinging may have been too strong a word. Flailing is more like it. You did punch out some poor stallion and that got us kicked out for the night though.”
>What?
“What did I knock the guy out for?” you grumble.
>“He was running his mouth about you and I. I couldn't really make out half of what he was saying since he was pretty far gone, but apparently you did,” the vampony just an inch away said with a soft nuzzle to your cheek. “My hero~”
“I got us kicked out of a bar for dropping a drunk pony. Yay,” you say flatly.
> “You just cannot have any fun, can you?” She asks, still sounding amused. “Do you want something to eat? It might soak up a bit of the remaining booze in your stomach.”
“I wouldn't say no, but I really don’t wanna move.”
>Your guard snorts again. “I really am a babysitter now. Fine, lazybones. Let me go grab a maid.”

6/x
>>
>>30208591
>Umbra slips out of your hold and out of the bed. You nearly make a grab at her before you regain control of yourself at the last moment and let her go. Why are you acting to weirdly? Are you still boozed up?
>As you have your moment of hazy introspection, Umbra trots up the door and pokes her head out of it for a moment, stopping someone with a quick “Excuse me!” and following up with a brief exchange too quiet for you to hear. A moment later, she trots back up to the bed. “A maid said she’d bring something up here in just a bit along with some aspirin.”
You nod without opening your eyes. “M’kay, that sounds good…” you say, hesitating over your next words. “You going to hop back in?”
>“Hop back in?”
>You crack open your eyes to take in the vampony’s tilted head.
“That’s what I said, right? I’m not going to tell you to just get lost.”
>She blinks. “But I figured…” Then a soft smile blooms on her face, making your heart jump. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
>A short hop and a single flap of her leathery wings puts Umbra floating right above the bed, where she gently falls down to the spot she occupied just a few minutes ago. The bed hardly even sinks under her weight, reminding you just how light pegasi are even as vamponies. A flick of her wing catches the edge of the covers and flings them up just long enough for her to crawl in, retaking her place pressed against you. Almost immediately, the slowly rising temperature under the covers drops as your bedmate soaks up the heat like a sponge does water.
>The vampony lets out a happy hum as you wrap her in another hug and rest your hands just below her wings. “Lazy day today?”

7/x
>>
>>30208595
“Very,” you agree. “The most I’m getting up for today is to eat and eventually take a piss. I’m sure it’s due here soon.”
>You say that right as Umbra nuzzles herself into the crook of your neck, making her bust out into a few short laughs and sending tickling twitches down your body. “Real classy, Anon. I can only wonder why mare’s aren’t hanging off of you,” she says, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“You’re hanging off me, aren’t you?” You shoot back cheekily.
>“I’m also being paid a pretty bit for my time,” she sniffs. “Babysitting an endangered species is pretty lucrative, you know.”
“Free cuddle hookers courtesy of the tax payers,” you reply with a chuckle. “This is the real shit right here. A real utopia, Equestria is.”
>Umbra nips your neck, making you wince. “Don’t call me a hooker. I’m a high-class escort at the very LEAST. If it wasn't taxes paying, then you couldn't afford me.”
You snort. “So you’re too expensive for me, at my side twenty-four-seven, and literally suck the life out of me,” you snark, rubbing a thumb over the smooth membrane of one of her wings. “At this rate I should just call you my wife.”
>Curiously, Umbra shuts up after that one. From her spot wedged against you with her face in your neck, you can’t see her expression. You do, however, feel your lips move without noise in the same pattern. Finally, she comes back with a weak “You wish…”
>Her nose twitches against your neck after a few minutes just resting. “Anon? Do you mind if I..?”
“Go ahead,” you tell her sleepily, already half asleep despite already sleeping a full day. “Probably more liquor than blood on me right now, though. Drink at your own risk.”
>She lets out a quiet giggle. “Thank you, Anon.”
>You just nod, making her ear twitch when you brush against it.

8/x
>>
>>30208598
>She settles again, muzzle pressed against the soft spot between your neck and shoulder in a way that can only be described as familiar by now. The little vampire also moves in closer, closing the small gap between you and her. Her chilled hide makes goosebumps run along your skin as she seemingly moulds to the contours of your body, not letting any space exist between her and you.
>Her muzzle is pressed to you tightly as she takes a deep breath, making her shiver and purr deep in her throat as your scent fills her nose and lungs. A warm tongue laps at it’s favorite spot a few times, and the lips just behind it caress the skin of your neck with unusual gentleness, even for a feeding. It makes you wonder just what she’s up to.
>The faint gold glow in the room fades as Umbra closes her eyes, leaving it darker than before and leaving you with only your sense of hearing and touch to tell what is going on in the low light.
>She stops lapping at the spot and just lets her lips rest there, where she almost absent-mindedly… Kisses you neck? Sure enough, in the near silent room you can hear the quiet smack of lips on flesh. No biting, just kissing…
>Again, your face starts heating up and with her close proximity, you KNOW Umbra can feel it.
>Your hands start roaming again in an half-hearted attempt to distract you from the drawn-out feeding your friend seems insistent on.
>Umbra groans into your neck when one of your hands gently wraps around the base of her right wing, kneading the bundle of nerves and muscle just under it. The other hand traces a small hole in her left wing, making the sensitive membrane twitch under your feather-light touch. Her hot breath contrasts sharply with the cool muzzle it comes from, making the goosebumps on your skin stand just a bit higher.

9/x
>>
>>30208602
>The hand teasing the hole in her wing seems to tire, and instead slips under the wing itself, coming to a rest on the seldom touched side of the vampony. Said vampony shivers as your fingers and thumb part the plush coat in five even lines, letting your warm hand rest against her nippy skin. Your other hand is more bold, abandoning her wing and sliding down to a stop right at her hip, making your heart race in excitement..?
>Do you… Go further?
>This is wrong, a part of you says. She’s your friend, and you’re already pushing what could be called “platonic” to it’s limit. Don't risk your friendship with the one who literally guards your life because you feel grabby.
>Do it, says another part. Surely all stories have a kernel of truth to them, so her flirting can’t be all banter, right? She must be interested in you.
>But I don't like ponies! Says a final part. She’s a cute little horse with bat wings. It’s wrong! But the cries of the third voice go unheard.
>You hand shakily slides further down, ready to be slapped away. Only… It’s not.
>Trembling fingers gently dig into the pony-silhouette mark emblazoned on Umbra’s flank, making the tight mass of muscle tense. The pony in your arms vainly tries to hold back a pleased mewl, her back legs weakly kicking at nothing.
>She’s not fighting it?
>Hesitantly, you drag your fingernails across your guard’s cutie mark, making her stiffen and let out a ragged breath.

10/x
>>
>>30208605
>You gulp with some difficulty and find yourself sweating. She’s not fighting it. She should be. You’re her much younger, different species charge. This goes beyond what friends do… Right?
>The temptation to reach further down and around the tight flank is unreal now, almost clouding your rational thought in a haze of animalistic instinct aided by the liquor still in your system. You already know the prize that awaits if you throw caution to the wind. But even with such thoughts rampaging through your mind, you still have enough clarity to shift your hips and hide your excitement from the mare you’re molesting.
>Umbra takes in a few choppy breaths as her teeth nip and nibble the spot right between your neck and shoulder, telling you what’s next. Or so you thought.
>Rather than the stinging pinch you’ve come to know, the vampony’s fangs slowly glide into your flesh with no resistance, parting skin, muscle, and sinew with only the barest hint of discomfort. It takes nearly a whole minute for her mouth to finally close around the pair of slowly bleeding holes. Then a violent shudder runs down her frame as the first few drops coat her tongue.
>The little red gem around your neck glows faintly.
>Umbra drains your precious lifeblood much slower than usual, savoring each morsel-sized dollop she takes and stopping to kiss at the small puncture wounds occasionally. Your stomach leaps and flutters when her affectionate lips wander up to your jaw, letting you see her eyes. They’ve dulled and glazed over, and she’s steadily going limp in your arms.

11/x
>>
>>30208609
>“Anoooooon~” the little vampire practically moans into the crook of your neck, sending a shameful shiver down your spine and filling your head with impure visions. “You’re the best… Always there when I… Need you.” She lets out a fond giggle and gives you a red-stained smile. “I really can’t imagine life without you now, you know that?” Umbra asks with half-lidded eyes, lazily licking the rapidly closing bite.
>If your heart was pounding before, it’s thundering with the force of a wardrum now, complete with a primal chant urging you forward and violently drowning out all other thoughts.
>Do it.
>Do it.
>Do it!
>DO IT!
>You’re going to do it. You’re about to flip your best friend over and take her. Do or die. Now or never. Eternal shame if you retreat and everlasting regret if you hesitate. Your limbs tense in eager preparation to pull yourself above Umbra.
>The mare blinks, taking notice. “Anon..?”
>You say nothing, instead just smirking at her and getting up on your hands and knees over her, almost straddling the vampony and doing nothing to hide the arousal pointing right at her.
>Umbra blinks again, her mouth falling open. Her forelegs curl up to cover her open mouth and reddening face, and her tail curls around her legs. It all makes the mare look uncharacteristically shy and small, but the hungry golden orbs staring at you only urge you to go further.
> A split second later though, her ear twitches towards the door, and your heart sinks.
>*Cl-click!*

12/x
>>
>>30208617
>“Mister Anonymous! I brought everything Miss Umbra asked for!” Chirps a normal unicorn maid as she opens the door and wheels a small fancy cart in the room with a covered platter on it. “I have a light breakfast and some… pain pills…” The maid trails off, her peppy smile falling when she catches sight of you and Umbra, both wide eyed and frozen in your positions. “...For you. S-should I come back later?” she weakly asks, cheeks bleeding into pink.
>As one, you and the mare under you look at the maid, then to each other.
>Umbra then vanishes from her spot so quickly and violently that it knocks you backwards from the near-shockwave her movement makes.
“Shit!” You yelp, just barely avoiding going over the edge of the bed and onto the painful floor in a heap of limbs and embarrassment.
>The maid squeaks in fright when the Major re-materializes an inch away from her, face screwed up into a badder-weakening snarl and a growl befitting a rabid animal tearing from her throat. The baleful glowing eyes and scowling maw of sharp teeth only made the vampony that much more menacing.
>“You. Will. Say. Nothing. Got it?” Umbra grounds out each word to bone white mare, an impressive feat since her coat was yellow just a moment ago.
>The shaking maid just nods so fast it’s a wonder she didn’t break her neck. “Ofcoursema’amhereiseverythingyouwantedI’vegottaGO!” The poor maid is out the door so fast that she may as well have teleported, leaving the cart and still covered platter behind.
>Umbra's expression holds for a full minute, making you wary of trying to snap her out of it. When her demonic visage finally melts into mere annoyance rather than murderous intent do you dare speak up.

13/x
>>
>>30208619
>"Umbra?" you ask, almost hoping she won't answer.
>Her ears swivel back to face you, a shuddering breath running through her frame along with a slump of her shoulders and droop of her wings. The pony slowly turns to you, a suddenly tired look finding it's way to her face. "Well, that happened I guess," she says lamely.
"Yeah..." you mutter, not really sure how to proceed.
>You pull yourself into a slumped seated position on the bed, your legs hanging over the side and brushing the floor.
>Umbra slowly walks back from her spot, revealing the carpet under her hooves to be shredded from her rage-induced haste to oust the maid. The vampony hops up next to you, keeping a small distance from you as she stares at the ground, her gold eyes roaming the floor in conflict.
>You wring your hands in your lap as what just happened replays through your now lucid-from-shock mind over and over. Just ten seconds more, and you may have made a move that would have ruined the relationship between you and Umbra. What the fuck were you thinking? What the actual fuck were you thinking!? You molested your guard and came seconds within trying to have SEX with her.
>The hungry look she gave you just a minute prior is forgotten.
>A nearly-dry gulp runs down your throat painfully when you glance at her, only for her eyes to avoid yours entirely. All the courage you had previously seems to have fled without looking back, making the already weak words in your mouth die before they could be realized.
>For the second time in just a few minutes, an uneasy silence falls over the room.

14/x
>>
>>30208626
“So…” you start, then stop when no other words will force themselves out.
>Umbra rolls her bottom lip between her teeth, obviously struggling to come up with something herself. “I guess we got caught up in the heat of the moment, right?” She finally asks after some time.
“Yeah…” you agree quietly.
>Another long pause.
“I’m sorry.”
>Your guard recoils, eyes wide and mouth open just the slightest amount. “YOU’RE sorry? I was the one teasing you while you were still a bit out of it. I should be the one apologizing.”
Your head shakes. “No, this was one me. I lost control of myself and overstepped my bounds. Despite all the shit I gave you, Umbra, you’re my best friend. I don’t want to drive you away with some stupid actions.”
>“We are best friends, aren’t we?” she asks quietly, rubbing one foreleg with another. “It’s fine, Anonymous. I’m not going to stress over what happened.” She turns to you, a small, strained smile on her face. “We’ll say it was the heat of the moment and call it done, right?”
“Right,” you agree, beyond relieved that she’s not going to hold what happened against you.
>For a moment, you think about reaching out to hug her in gratitude, but stop short.
>Getting up off the bed, you grab the covered platter and the small pill bottle off the cart and and return, setting the warm silver in your lap before removing the lid. Under it is a steaming plate of eggs, a small steak, and a glass of water that you dig into with little fanfare. The usually delectable taste of the castle cooking seems a little less satisfying tonight.

15/x
>>
>>30208628
------------------------------------

>“Better?”
>You crack open a eye, taking in the sight of the bedroom ceiling with far less pain that it would have caused an hour ago. Pony medicine really is the best.
>Sitting up on the bed, you turn to an inquisitive Umbra, who is lying on her belly just a few feet away. She’s kept some distance from you since, well... Regardless, the gesture still sent a painful pang through your chest.
“Much,” you reply simply. “How long was I out?”
>“Not long, about an hour.”
>A glance at the wallclock confirms the vampony’s estimate.
>You nod and lay back again, crossing your arms behind you head as you do so.
“I was being serious when I said I wasn’t doing jack shit today.”
>Umbra snorts. “Do you have to half-ass everything?” She asks lowly as she sets her head on her forelegs.
“Hmm?”
>“Nothing,” she says back. “Nothing.”
>The room is quiet again.
>Suddenly, Umbra perks up. “Hey, if you don’t wanna do anything, how about a movie?” she asks with something close to her usual smile. “They finally got around to doing the original Daring Do and turning it into a movie. What do you say?”
You let out a whiny groan. “Umbra, the cinema is on the other side of town. Unless you want to fly me there…”
>“No no, I mean in here!”
“...I’m listening…”

16/x
>>
>>30208632
>Her smile gets a bit wider. “We just need to go down to one of the auditoriums, swipe the projector and stereo for the night, and pilfer one of the princess’s copies of the movie. Easy.”
“So we need to to get up, run all over hell’s half-acre, steal from the castle and one of the princesses, and get back here,” you start, leveling your guard with an unamused stare. “Sounds like a TON of fun…” Then another thought hits you. “Why would the princesses have a copy of a just-released movie? Isn’t that shit on old-timey film?”
>“Aw comon, Anon!” Umbra whines imploringly. “It’ll all be worth it, I promise! As for the movie, Princess Luna has kinda become a film aficionado since her return. Who is going to say no to her if she wants private flicks?”
“Yeah, fair enough,” you concede. If Luna’s shiny puppy-dog eyes couldn’t get her what she wanted, then all it would take is some ROYAL HEADACHE VOICE to convince anyone to cave.
>“And it would help dispel some of the… awkward in here.”
>You don't bother replying to that. With an annoyed grunt, you pull yourself up and onto your feet, swaying just a little.
“Alright, alright. Lemme change into an outfit that doesn't smell like booze and death and we’ll go.”
>Umbra beams so brightly she nearly matches the full moon.

------------------------------

17/x
>>
>>30208637
>Just a few moments later, you and the now-armored vampony wander the expansive halls of the night decorated castle.
“So, where to first?”
>Umbra screws her face up into an expression of intense thought, complete with her tongue poking out. “Auditorium first,” she says after a moment. “There’s one closer, and we’ll pass the kitchens on the way, so we can swipe some snacks while we’re at it.”
“Stealing movies, projectors, and now food. That’s not very guard-like,” you start with a tone as dry as a desert. “What’s next? Are you going to download a car?”
>“Bite my pretty, pert ass,” the guard sniffs.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
>Umbra rolls her eyes, but does so with an almost unnoticeable smile. “If this is the thanks I get for helping you and offering free stuff…”
“Stuff you’re about to steal,” you scoff playfully.
>The vampony glares up at you, her cheeks puffed out in irritation. “It’s not stealing, it’s borrowing.”
“This is some schoolfilly logic…”
>“Then why are you helping me with my schoolfilly shenanigans, smart guy?” she asks with a badly hidden smirk as you and her pass a pair of patrolling night guards.
>You try to mount some sort of verbal offensive to deflect the question, but end up just walking forward with a single finger pointed out like you wanted to speak.
>She giggles, but a stifled snort drags your attention backward.
“OI!” You yell at the sounds, whirling around to see the pair of startled nightguard mares you just passed. “Don’t you two have something to be doing!?”

18/x
>>
>>30208643
>Both go from startled back to amused as they quickly round a corner, where barely audible laughing can be heard before it rapidly fades with the sound of wingbeats.
“Can it,” you tell Umbra preemptively, already feeling her merriment-filled eyes on your back. “Anyways, kitchen?”
>The next few minutes are spent in a companionable silence just following the major down the hallway. The only sounds breaking the quiet are your footsteps, the steps and passing greetings of the occasional guard or late-night noble, and the ever present background of classical music that flitted in and out from somewhere you could never find.
>*clink!*
>“Drat…”
>Then something else breaks the silence.
>As one, you and Umbra glance towards the narrow corridor the noise had come from. As usual, Umbra walks right toward it and ignores you after you shake your head no. With a despondent sigh, you follow after her.
>Down the narrow hall is a single vampony mare in full armor standing in front of a ratty (for castle standards as it has no decorations of gold and master-piece carvings) looking door. The full-set of armor covering her head from hoof made for an intimidating sight and covered everything that could be used to identify her, making you step behind a still casual Umbra as you walk.
>The fell blue glow coming from the narrow eye slits in the full helm turns to you and your guard. “Halt!” The mare mare calls, booming yet feminine voice reverberating through her helmet and the hallway. “I have been tasked with guarding this area and I will have no interference. Turn around and leave immediately.”

19/x
>>
>>30208647
>Umbra surprisingly stops, raising an eyebrow as she does so. “And just who is ordering me?”
>The armored mare opens her wings and turns to the boosted vampony “I am…”
>Before the mystery mare can finish, her helm slips down with a *clink!* and covers her eyes.
>“Drat!” She says, sounding more like a filly with a bucket on her head than the terminator pony she sounded like just a moment ago.
>The mare backtracks clumsily and bats at her helmet with a hoof, nearly tripping in an embarrassing clatter of armor.
>Umbra covers her smile with a hoof while you just watch unsurely.
>Finally the mare gets her balance back and swats at her helmet again, sending the head armor off and to the ground with a loud and hollow *Bong!*, revealing something you didn't expect.
>Under the helm is what looks like a teenaged vampony, something you had never seen before. On her head is a messy mane of shocking orange hair, with pale blue eyes full of innocence contrasting sharply with her mane. Her coat is the same vampony grey as all the others. All at once, you notice how poorly her armor fits, like it was made for a larger pony.
>The small mare shakes her head, clearing the cobwebs her self-induced daze brought her before she focuses on Umbra. She blinks.
>Then the realization hits.

20/x
>>
>>30208650
>M-m-m-MAJOR UMBRA?!” the armored mare exclaimes in panic, making your guard recoil. “I’m sorry ma’am! I-I had no idea it was you! The helmet has really poor visibility so I didn’t see you at all and a-and and!” The poor carrot-topped vampony stutters and jumps into a hasty salute. “My deepest apologies, ma’am!”
>“Whoa, whoa. Easy guardsmare. I’m not upset,” Umbra starts slowly, holding her wings forward in a placating gesture like you might your hands. “Get that the heavy armor sucks and that the helmet is the worst part. For future reference, pick medium armor next time at highest. I think you have some filling out to do if you want something bigger.”
>“T-thank you, ma’am!” The smaller guard says with a sigh of relief.
“What’s your name, guard? And why are you back here all by yourself watching over what looks like a broom closet?” You ask, scanning the narrow hallway up and down.
>“Private Apricot reporting, Mister Anonymous! I-”
“Apricot?” You cut her off with a grin. “Like the little orange fruit? That’s adorable.”
>“I’m not adorable!” Apricot exclaims, dismayed. “I’m a fearsome protector in the dark! A creature who stalks the shadows and makes criminals tremble! A Nightguard!” she says with a distressed wiggle in her armor.
>You bite your fist in a failing attempt to not laugh at the poor mare, but you can’t hide the growing grin on your face. These kooky, cute ponies man…

21/x
>>
>>30208652
>Umbra’s lips tremble as she struggles not to show her own mirth. “R-right, private. Right…” she says, taking a breath and calming down. “Anyway, I’m curious myself. Why are you guarding a closet?”
>“A closet?” Apricot asks with a blink. “Sergeant Strider said this is an out-of-the-way spot where intel on changeling movements were being stored, so she assigned me to guard it.”
>What? Valuable info like that being kept in some random hallway? Why is this not in the guard barracks locked away or with the archives?
>You and Umbra share a disbelieving look. ‘Do you believe this shit?’ Her eyes ask.
>‘Not a bit,’ yours reply.
>Your vampony marches forward towards the door, making Apricot nervously step away. When the major reaches the door, she opens it on creaky hinges, revealing..!
>A dusty closet.
>Umbra sticks her head in as you and Apricot watch over her shoulder. Each of her eyes inspect the cleaning supplies piled up in the tiny room with the scrutiny of a microscope.
>You walk up now too, leaning over the guard to look around inside. Just as you guessed, it’s nothing but janitorial equipment and spider webs.
“Some intel hiding spot,” you sarcastically comment as you straighten back up. “It’s hidden so well it’s as if it... Isn’t there.”
>Apricot flushes red.

22/x
>>
>>30208657
>“Anon, don’t be mean,” Umbra scolds, slapping a wing on your leg.
You roll your eyes then turn to the still mortified private. “Well, Apricot. I think someone pulled a prank on you. There’s nothing here but mops, chemicals and-”
>Umbra’s nose twitches and her face twists right before she sneezes, sending a massive plume of dust and dirt from the closet into the air.
“-Ech! Dust!” you hack, covering your mouth with your sleeve.
>Both of the vamponies cough too, frantically flapping their wings and whipping up a gust in the small hallway, thankfully sending the dust away.
>“I have to agree with Anon, private,” your guard starts with a watery sniffle. “You were the victim of a prank. I’ll talk to some ponies tomorrow to see that it doesn't happen again.”
>Apricot nods dejectedly with her gaze on the ground, her whole form radiating depression. “I really thought I was doing good…”
“Well, you were,” you compliment. “I was ready to turn around when you looked my way, but,” You glance down at Umbra. “You know.”
>“Say, Private? I know something that will pull you out of your funk here,” the major starts with a grin. “Consider yourself relieved from duty for tonight and follow us. Ditch the armor too. Just stuff it in the closet and somepony will get it later.”
>“But Major! That’s at least three protocol violations!” the carrot-topped mare exclaims aghast. “I could never!”

23/x
>>
>>30208661
>“Well I’m an officer, and I say it’s okay,” Umbra replies with a cheeky smile, bringing Apricot’s next words to a screeching halt. “Ditch the armor and follow us, rookie. You’re getting a vacation night.”
>The smaller mare looks like she desperately wants to argue, but is unwilling to voice such a thing to superior officer. After a moment of nervous sweating, she caves with a sigh and starts undoing her armor.

------------------------------

>The last piece of blue metal is tossed into the closet, leaving Apricot in just her base armor that all the guards sport, and by god is this mare tiny. Tiny enough to almost be mistaken as a teen. Only her being a vampony told you that she’s older.
“You’re so smol!”
>Apricot squeals in surprise when you easily pick her up and hold her.
“So light too…” You marvel. “I know pegasi are light and all, but you weigh almost nothing. Are you getting enough to eat?”
>The mare in your arms slows her struggles, blinking sleepily instead as her cold vampony body eagerly takes the heat yours provides.
>The slight narrowing of Umbra’s eyes doesn't go unnoticed by you. “You might want to let her down, Anon. Or she’ll pass out and you’ll have to carry her the entire way,” she supplies.

24/x
>>
>>30208664
“Yeah yeah… I was just surprised is all. Not everyday you see a shrimpy guardsmare,” you say, letting the mare in your hold down.
>“M’not shrimpy…” Apricot mumbles before she shakes off the last of her lethargy. She then briskly trots to Umbra, who stands half a head taller, and salutes. “Task complete, ma’am. I’m down to my core armor set.”
>“At ease, Apricot,” the higher ranked pony says with a lopsided smile. “Like I said, consider yourself off duty for tonight. We’re off to the kitchens. Follow us.”
>You retake your spot next to Umbra as she walks, and Apricot takes your other side.
>“The kitchens, ma’am?”
>“Yep. We need to pick up some snacks for later. After that, the auditorium, then Princess Luna’s room.”
>Apricot looks between you and your guard with a dubious expression. “I don't follow…”
“Movie night, apparently,” you answer. “This one,” you flick the tuft on Umbra’s ear, making it twitch, “wants to steal a bunch of things to set-up a movie in my room. Congrats on being invited I guess? You were more shanghai'd into this, really.”
>A shiver runs up the small guard’s frame, making her fur stand on end. “S-steal?”
>“We are BORROWING!” Umbra butts in, annoyed. “Not stealing. None of that. We’re just borrowing a projector and speakers, some food, and a film reel from Princess Luna.”
>“But watching a movie on duty? Isn’t that…” Apricot looks around conspicuously, then leans in “...goofing off?” she whispers as if the phrase is a sin. It’s enough to make you smile.

25/x
>>
>>30208667
>“More like a part of VIP guard detail,” the major answers with a badly suppressed grin. “ A very nice part about VIP guard detail. About time we got here…”
>You and the pair of mares comes to a stop in front of a pair of wooden double doors. Above the doors is a sign simply saying “Kitchen” in flowing, flowery script. Even after already eating, the subtle smells that waft through the crack between the doors is enough to make your mouth water.
>Umbra takes charge and opens one door, letting the dull roar of moving hooves, barked orders, and the clinking of cooking tools out. When you look inside, you feel your eyes go wide.
>The room is huge, open, and brightly lit, with lines of stoves and ovens strewn throughout manned by ponies of all sorts. Pegasi, earth ponies, unicorns, and a larger number of their vampony counterparts rush to and fro in the kitchen fit for a world class restaurant. Each one moves with purpose and without a single wasted effort. In one of the far walls are ovens lined and stacked so high that only pegasi and unicorns could use them. Another wall has a huge trough of dirty water and currently full dish racks just above it. The final wall is lined with odd runic circles carved into the stone wall with gems throw about here and there, the only a door labeled “storage” breaking the line. A butler vampony with a loaded tray on his back walks up to one, mutters something too low to hear, then vanishes in a flash of light!

26/x
>>
>>30208669
“Damn…” You murmur, trying to take it all in. “Remind me to explore the castle more. This is crazy.”
>“You think this is neat?” Umbra asks with a grin. She elbows your leg a second later. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”
>Apricot looks around, but seems less impressed than you are.
>A vampony unicorn stallion in a bowtie takes notice of you and pulls himself from his throng of fellows to address your group. “Good evening, Sir and Madams. Is there anything I can help you with?” He asks, tone polite and professional.
“Yes, actually,” You start. “You all wouldn’t happen to have a mobile popcorn machine, would you?”
>“We do,” he replies, not even raising a brow to the question. “Is there a place in particular you would like it brought?”
“My quarters, VIP suite number one.”
>“Of course,” the bowtie-clad stallion turns his head to a normal pegasus mare in a maid outfit just behind him and nods, making the pegasus take off towards the storage room by the runic circles. Nary a moment later, she emerges again pushing the red and white machine with a burlap bag across her back. The pegasus mare moves into a spot in front of one of the circles, where she and her load vanish in a flash.
You blink. “That was fast.”

27/28
>>
>>30208674
>“We pride ourselves on our speed and finesse, sir,” the still unnamed vampony stallion says with a small smile. “I’ll pass along your compliment. Anything else we can do for you? Soft drinks to go along with your popcorn, perhaps?”
“Ehh…”
>“Come now, what sort of plebeian doesn't enjoy a cold soda with popcorn?” a new voice cuts in.
>You blink, noticing Umbra’s expression of surprise, the trembling of Apricot, and the bowing of EVERY pony in the room.
“She’s behind me, isn’t she?”
>“Verily. I would have words with the ones who think they can take things from me.”
“Well shit.”

28/28
>>
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>>30208676
Done. r8 n h8 n point out mistakes. 2 updates in a month, wild shit.

https://pastebin.com/D1HuiG7n
>>
>>30175027
>The walk to the station is cheerier than usual.
>The break in the clouds allows the sun to spread a little warmth, and the Market District is relatively alive with activity.
>Retracing the familiar route, you notice the shops and stalls are doing more business, with a few actual lines forming at the more popular ones.
>Some ponies are actually smiling.
>Those smiles tend to disappear as they pass you, replaced by nervous glances and curt nods, should you make eye contact.
>It’s the uniform.
>In the past, the City Watch was a symbol of peace and security.
>Legendary criminals were brought down in even more legendary raids, petty thievery was kept to a minimum, and so on.
>These days, the guards of the Watch are spread too thin to effectively keep a lid on the booming gang activity, and their recent role as dead-counters and evictors soured their status.
>You put the thought out of your mind and try to put passerby at ease with a smile, focusing on enjoying the change in atmosphere.
>The gate to the Market District Watch Station looms ahead, and you approach the guardhouse.
>Nopony greets you.
>The guardhouse is empty and quiet, the corporal of the guard conspicuously absent.
>The breach in protocol sets your heart racing with anger; somepony should always be on watch at the gate.
>Sliding through past, you storm across the yard toward the main office, certain to catch the ear of the jackass as they lounged in the mess room or emerged from the toilet.
>>
>>30209140
>Briskly pushing the door open, you take a few steps down the hall before halting.
>Your own hooves on hardwood is the only sound in the building.
>The hairs of your mane stand on end; no clatter of utensils from the mess, no muffled voices from the captain’s office, not even the metallic clacking of a typewriter from the administrative room.
>What in the Void is going on?
>You slowly begin to pace forward, checking that your sword and pistol are loose and free in your harness.
>The first stop is the mess room.
>Peering around the corner, you take note of unfinished meals on the tables, benches pushed hastily away.
>The kitchen window is dark; no sign of Cinnamon.
>Something falls to the floor with a heavy thud from up the hall, your ears swiveling to the sound as you step warily back into the passageway.
>There’s only two rooms left in that direction: administration and Captain Gale’s office.
>Your hoofsteps are nearly imperceptible, and you try to slow your breathing and calm yourself as you approach the end of the hall.
>The sound of a pony approaching at a gallop pulls your attention back to the entryway.
>A moment later, a Watch private skids into view, bounding up the steps and through the door before catching sight of you.
>She stumbles to a half, doubling over and breathing raggedly.
>“Ma’am – I was – you weren’t – there’s been,” she struggles valiantly to get her message out between her panting.
“Slow down, private. What’s going on, where is everypony?”
>Drawing herself and straightening her disheveled uniform to the best of her ability, the guardsmare finally puts together a coherent report.
>>
>>30209154
>“Ma’am, the Overseers are marching on the Blinders Gang again, and they’re on the warpath. The Watch has been ordered by the Lord Regent to assist the Abbey, and the entire Market District Watch battalion is joining the attack!”
“Everypony? Who’s watching the station?”
>The mare looks frantically around, seeming to realize for the first time that the station is abandoned.
>“The, um, the Bridge District was supposed to send a few guards. I, uh, I don’t know where they are. Captain Gale sent me to your apartment to notify you, but you weren’t there, so uh, I came back here as fast as I could.”
>Confused, but honest, you decide.
>Well if last night’s encounters with the Bridge District guards was any indication of their competence, this isn’t too surprising.
>You don’t like the situation, but decide to have faith that the Bridge guards would show up to their temporary post eventually.
“And we can’t wait for them, I imagine?”
>The private shakes her head excitedly, her helmet spinning slightly as she stopped.
>“No ma’am, the Watch will be meeting up with the Overseers about now, over in the Canal District.”
>You turn to look back toward the captain’s office.
>Whatever fell over hadn’t made a sound since.
>Growling lightly under your breath, you return your attention to the frantic private.
“Alright, lead on then!”
>The two of you take off at a trot through the yard, picking up to a full gallop as you reach the street and bound for the Canal District.
>>
>>30209161
Not much but it's been a bit of a busy week so far. Good to see lots of new stuff today.
>>
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>>30208690
HE'S BACK
>>
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Finally managed to sort out all my computer problems, made even problems and fixed them again.
May god have mercy upon anyone who looks inside my cable filled computer
>>
*WOOOOOOO!

>>30209173
>>30208676 Thanks for sticking around.
>>30208029


Thanks a lot fellas . No time for my slow ass to read them on this lunch break but will definitely later.
>>
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>>30209341
Good stuff, your art's cute as fuck.
You dont know computer hell until you see some of the DIY watercooling set up's people try.
>>
>>30209611
thanks anon
Probably the reason why I'm never gonna try watercooling
>>
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>>30208068
>>30208690
>>30209161
SO much green. Thanks guys. You're awesome.
>>
>>30173797

sure, everyone else's doin it, might as well toss in my, well, single cent

>In less than a minute, you're put down in front of a shelf, filled with everything you'd ever need inside a bathroom.
>Shampoos, washes, soaps, and fancy things to give yourself the VIP bath treatment.
>Personally, you don't see the point in it- it's just a bath.
>But you're sure it feels nice, or something.
>You try to shake your head clear.
>Mare, it's hard to think...
>"Alright, grab the stuff you want, or forever hold your peace!"
>You watch Vannie glancing around all the different scented stuff, then stop on a small brown bottle.
>She grabs and hoofs it over to Anon.
>Hmm, apple cinnamon scented, not bad.
>Giving a quick look yourself, you immediately stop when you see exactly what you want.
>Good old lavender, like Mom would always use.
>Opening the cap lightly, you take a good whiff of it.
>Oh, it really brings you back...
>"Toss the stuff in and les gooo!"
>You stop your reminiscing and give it to him, then he hoists both of you up.
>By the time you're worried of being dropped, he's already in front of somepony.
>"Yeah I got these two things and these two things, here you go!"
>"-Uh sir, I don't think you need that many bits-"
>"-Don't care, keep it!"
>In just a few seconds you're outside, and he starts dodging and weaving through the streets, clearly ignoring all the looks he's getting.
>Hay, if your armor didn't share his color, you're sure ponies would have already reported a foalnapping.
>With a soft sigh, you try to ignore your current predicament and watch the streets pass by you.
>Lots of ponies look, but are quickly left in his dust.
>It's not until you recognize the castle gates moving past, do you actually realize how fast you were going.
>Not that the stores were that far away, but still, in less than a few minutes, that's pretty incredible.
>Now seeing the castle doors opening, a shiver makes its way through you.
>Almost alone...
>>
>>30208690
thats a big update
>>
>>30207083
>every second of free time i had at work.
You're a better employee than I am. Sometimes I read when I'm supposed to be working.
>>
>>30208690

I absolutely love that ending to chaper 7
>>
>>30208619
>badder-weakening
Bladder?
>>
>>30210865
>>30210905
Yeah, I write while at work and /or trashed. It shows. The fimfic version has been fixed and the pastebin will be fixed soon.
>>
>>>30208579
>>>How luck you hard to have such a mare so close to you...
>>30208588
glow of her eye not covered by her mane makes yours string from the light.
>>30208619
god fucking damn it. so close.
>>30208626
>"Umbra?" you ask, almost hoping she won't answer.
Suppose to be anon.
>>30208647
“Halt!” The mare mare calls,
>>
>>30208690
I like the new cute little batpone. She's adorable.
>>
>>30210097
SOON
SOOOOOON
>>
>>30209173
interesting goings-on. I hope cinnamon is ok.
>>
>>30208068
Good world building and character development. Poor Rewind; I remember talk of Gryphon armor for Rewind in the last thread but I didn't think it would be quite so, uhm, revealing.

>>30208690
Nice and comfy NoF. I've started the story kinda late and only just caught up about a week ago or so. Here I thought you've crafted a rich, full world with nary space for expansion and BAM you come up with more. Dialog was good and scenes were well painted. Man, is the romantic tension getting thick and it seems they are only just now realizing that there is more to their relationship than meets the eye. Well done NoF, well done.

>>30209173
Oh boy. Nice tension build up and well placed background info in the monologue. Now what was that sound, eh? Guess we'll have to wait and see. Short but good work nonetheless.

>>30209341
Thanks for more adorable art Neuro.

>>30210097
Even a single post update is appreciated friendo. What? No scrubbing brush? I think he knows what the soap/shampoo tastes like. I'd imagine a scrubbing brush would've been at the top of the list. This way his mares can help him get clean as well.

Thank you all very much. I look forward to the next updates!
>>
>>30211809
Aside from the modifications made so that it'd fit her and not weigh her down, it's pretty much exactly to the same specifications that the rest of the gryphons wear
There may have been a slight bit of hyperbole when I described the shortness of the skirt, it's not miniskirt levels of silly

Plus, I enjoy wardrobe changes for characters.
>>
>>30211878
Ah, so more her self consciousness surrounded by gryphons then. She's a top-tier cutie.
>>
>>30210097
>>30211809 brings up a good point.
>not tastetesting the shampoo.

Now i've bumed myself out thinking about how much anon hurt her feelings becaus of that soap.
>>
>>30208690
nicely done NOF this was incredible as your stuff always is, the writing, the characters, the story, it's all amazing, looking forward to more
>>
>>30209173
always good to have some Solemn, now you have me on the edge of the seat
>>
>>30211809
>>"Yeah I got these two things and these two things, here you go!"
I think he did, but it wasn't explicitly stated. What else would the other two things be?
>>
>>30212691
Perhaps his mares? He's still carrying them at this point.
>>
>>30201783
Is there a version without the signs?
>>
>>30213030
link is towards the end of the previous thread, but i'm not doing the footwork for you
>>
>>30208690
For a superpowered love interest bat OC, Umbra is surprisingly normal looking.
>>
>>30213352
I don't think I'd call batponies "normal"
>>
Too many speshul snowflake rodents here. May as well call this the new general for them.

They need to be removed. Preferably in bloody extermination. Flying rodents are not worthy of love.
>>
>>30213441
By normal I meant "Not a perfect snowflake colored like an elf vomited on it"
>>
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>>30213500
i agree, but i also havent seen any here
i think you commented in the wrong thread, mate
>>
>>30213292
Fuck you
>>
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>jog around town on purpose to get your personal guard mare all sweaty
>bring her back to your place for a nice shower and coffee
>get her all riled up so that her undergarments stick to her skin and pinches
>get to grope and squeeze her flanks and rump as you stretch her underwear back comfortably around her sweaty thighs
>she playfully swishes her tail around your head and cups one of your hands between her legs
>just as you finish straightening her out you lean in a take a deep sniff of her sweaty crotch, planting a little kiss at the base of her winking marehood
>she shivers before begging you to drop her armor and quit teasing her
>you think you broke her
>>
>>30213944
man, it's so autistic how much this artist is against porn
you draw horse ass all the time, get everyone all riled up, then wonder why people want more?
>>
>>30208690
>2 updates in a month
ARISE NOF
>>
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Fun thing i imagined.

>All of the Royal guard look the same due to armor enchantment.
>At the formation of the guard, the lack of a suitable mare template that would match the stallion led to the mares simply adopting the stallion 'uniform' until one was found.
>Fast forward a few generations and everypony just accepts the royal guard are all dudes while in armor.
>Shenanigans ensue when anon starts bro-ing out with his security detail unaware they're all mares.
>Celestia forbid anyone telling him directly because she thinks it's hilarious.

>>30213988
>Actually wanting to eat the forbidden fruit.
You're the reason we cant have nice things.
>>
>>30213944
o-oh my
>>
>>30214137
That sounds like fun.

I also had an idea.
>All the guards are male. Because maybe they thought it was too dangerous for small mares or maybe Celestia just only wants males or some shit.
anyways
>Anon is also part of the top elite guard investigating some far off magical anomaly.
>Accident happens.
>All the stallions in the group or maybe only anons closest bro/bros gets transformed into mares by the anomaly.
>shenanigans and maybe a few close calls happen.
>Anon learns firsthand why the emotional mares are not in the guard, and has to keep them safe, and maybe not just from outside dangers.

That came out more sexist than intended but whatever.

>>30213988
>I never knew that.

He can fuck right off.
>>
Sauce on image?
>>
>>30214491
http://i.imgur.com/kW9e1R9.png
>>
>>30214545
Thanks m8
>>
>Your Guardhen will never protect you from a mob of angry mares (They're angry because they're in heat and Anon's not sharing his dick)
>>
>>30215156
>Guardhen
that sounds pretty retarded
and any anon not willing to share his dick doesnt deserve protection
>>
>>30215199
>and any anon WITHOUT A WAIFU not willing to share his dick doesnt deserve protection
FTFY
>>
>>30215228
during heat it doesnt matter who you're loyal to, you're doing your part for the betterment of equestria
>>
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>>30215248
>not being loyal to your waifu
>for ANY reason
you disgust me
>>
>>30215337
just because you got a waifu, doesnt mean you'll have her
enjoy your lonely estrus
>>
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>>30215248
>during heat it doesnt matter who you're loyal to
There's probably literal laws concerning this depending on how severe you make estrus, it tends to range from "Human level of sexual interest" to "Will fuck anything remotely dick shaped." depending on artist / author.
>But officer, she came onto me, why am i being charged for rape?
>Because you actively searched for a mare in season, held a rag covered in your sweat over her muzzle until her front hooves collapsed and then proceded to engage in public intercourse directly outside the griffon embassy while chanting "For the kingdom!"
>As Princess Celestia is currently attempting to salvage Equestria's reputation with the ambassador and their guards, you have roughly one hour to write your will and testament.
>>
>>30213988
>>30213944
just for you two

and for guard mare love

and cuz fuck it lets wind up an artist

>>9661814
>>
>>30215555
awww. I missed it.
>>
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>>30215575
Missed Pone Puss.

No reason to live.
>>
>>30215575
>>30215555
>>>/trash/9613951
bottom post
I can't hot link to a /trash post for some reason?
>>
>>30215606
>>>/trash/9661814
whatchu talkin bout
>>
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>>30215606
Thx m8
>>
>>30215555 (Checked)
>>30215616
>>30215606
>Your guardmare will never ask you to rut her into the ground after a stressful day, barely removing her helmet before turning to present herself while fixing you with a lovingly needy gaze.
>>
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>>30215773
Nice.

Niiiice.
>>
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>brave confirmed best guardmare
damn straight
>>
>>30215773
I feel sad
>>
Deud vult
>>
>>30216044
dubs confirm sadness
don't worry anon, crushing despair is normal here.
>>
>>30156085
>"B-but... there's no way she'll talk if a guard's right there."
"I'm off-duty, and I'll be with you. I'm also the pony who verified your story about her and cleared her to leave once we questioned her."
>"I just... really want to do this alone. I'm certain that's the best way to do it. I'll pass on every bit of info to-"

>You scowl as well as you know how to.

>"...I just want to be the one who helps Careful. Myself."
"I don't understand. Two would be more effective in any situation."
>"Not what I mean. Just... out of you, me, and her last night, who was the least helpful?"
"You mean you. So... you DO want my help?"
>He shakes his head.
>"Look, here's what that made me realize: I underestimated her when I first met her. She can handle herself and I need her more than she needs me."
>He pauses, looking at you intently.
>...
>"So..."
"Um."
>What does he want you to say?
>"...so I really wanna do this alone. I need to prove I can handle myself. To myself and to Careful."

>...this is hopeless.
>Celestia, what is he talking about?
>Careful had as much agency in initiating their relationship as he did.
>If she doesn't mind his perceived shortcomings, why should he think they matter?

>You shake these thoughts out of your head.
>No use letting them stew.

"I don't really understand, but I'll accept that. And I would let you go if it weren't for the danger. You can't handle yourself in a fight."
>Anon glowers.
>So be it.
>Another pony might have been able to put it more tactfully, but at least he's not disagreeing with you.
"What do you wish to learn that will put an end to your questions? A detective measures or establishes the scope of an investigation before undergoing it."
>"Well... I..."
"But you seem to want to tug every loose end. The outcome of this, if you have any success, is that you will encounter the ponies that physically assaulted you. You will be alone with them, and you will be the only one who knows their identities. How would this turn out?"
>>
>>30217167
>Anon mouths something to himself - 'fuck me,' you think you read, even though he disguises it by scratching his nose.
>You ignore it.
>You intend to keep him safe physically and legally regardless of whether he likes you for it.
>"Okay. Fine. I get it."
"Let me accompany you. I can try to be hooves-off if you strongly prefer."
>"For the visit to Honey's, yeah. After that... I guess, out-of-uniform, ponies wouldn't be able to mark you as a guard unless they knew you."

>You smile.
"I'm glad you're amenable to this. I understand this is difficult for you, but if we take proper precautions and preparations and advance on this in the correct-"
>"Safe, sorry, but I'm tired of this discussion. I don't want to do anything until tomorrow, at least. Can we just change the damn topic?"
>Something about the flat calmness of this interruption hurts you where his frustration before bounced right off.
>Ignore it, Safe.
>Sometimes you've got to take the reins and be responsible for your own happiness.
>You've learned that on more than one occasion.
>You turn and continue on down the road to Over the Moon.
>Anon follows.

>You two only share a few more words the rest of the way back.
"I'll visit Careful if you take care of Moondancer?"
>"Sure."
>...
>"...thanks."
"You're welcome."

>...

>"Ohh, ish our Moonie-Woonie tired? Yesh she is. Yes she is!"
>Moondancer yawns enormously and mumbles as Anon scoops her up off the beanbag chair, around her middle.
>"...nonymous.... grown mare... don't have... stop..."
>"Oh, she IS a big pony! Yes she is. And she needs her big pony bed..."
>"...glass... water."
>"And a little drink a' water first!"
>"Mm."
>"And plenty cuddles."
>"Anooon."
>"PLENTY cuddles. And a lecture about overworking herself..."
>She sighs.
>"Take... my place... want... actual bed... not far."
>He says some more nonsense in response and begins the process of closing up the shop.
>He looks at you and motions to the door.
>"I've got it. See you round."
"Right."
>>
>>30217172
>Babying Moonie with snuggles.
yesss
>>
>>30217172
Thanks for the update CW.

Yeah, I Safe doesn't understand where Anon's coming from. I hope Safe doesn't take it personally. Although, I hope he'll realize it's ok to ask for help.
>>
>>30213292
Fuck you.
>>30213030
Here: http://i.imgur.com/kW9e1R9.png
>>
>>30208690
Bet you can't do two in a month again.
PLEASE do two in the same month again.
>>
I want the entire barrack to rape me until I'm broken
>>
>>30217675
Don't we all?
>>
>>30217675
>you will never resist arrest in lewd equestria
>the guard mares will never try to force you to orgasm to make you more compliant.
>they will never call for backup after you wear out two of their best mares.
>you'll finally orgasm on your fifth mare
>they'll never look on in horrousal as you simply flip her over into a 69 postion without pausing.
>celestia herself will never be the one to finally break you by accidently fracturing your pelvis.
>you'll never work off your community service in the barracks.
>>
>>30217983
Why live?
>>
>Get assigned a guardsmare.
>You hand her hit it off pretty well and become good friends
>...Really good friends, actually.
>A few months later, your guard is sheepishly giving her maternity leave papers to her unamused CO.
>You get another guardsmare since you knocked up then put a ring on your first one.
>Then you and the new guard get along well. Very well...
>Guard command finally wizens up after they lose a 3rd or 4th mare to you and assign you a stallion.
>>
>>30218640
>said stallion proudly hands in paternity leave papers a few months later.
>CO screamed himself horse after the realisation set in.
>after the 4th mare anon's become the ultimate wingman.
>>
>>30218999
kek
>>
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>>30213030
Here you go anon
>>
>>30219692
Royal guard mare charity calendar when?

>gaurd mares posing teasingly
>in socks and panties, taking off their armor
>to raise money for the Canterlot foal hospital
>calender hangs in every cart repair shop in equestria once the stallions working there see it,
>most bits ever raised by a charity
>>
>>30217172
Hey CW thanks for the update,
question though, why is Safety bailing out from looking after Moonie? She said before leaving home that Careful was unlikely to take visitors and she did want to see moondancer after all? It's not like she had plans
>>
>>30208690
Apricot a cute.
A CUTE
>>
>>30220400
Autism's fun like that, let me translate.

She wants to see moonie, but anon is worried about careful and cant see her himself, he has feelings of inadequency on top of it all.
Therefore the most efficient course of action is for anon to look after moonie, mitigating his feelings or at least distracting him while simultainiously giving her the emotional support she probably needs while safety attempts to see careful as she's the only one of the three in the positio to do so.
>>
>>30221286
Except that longer discussion with Anon happened after she had decided to get him, he was off perhaps but little autism pone had no reason to think him needed for this situation.

Efficiency wise helping moondancer herself would best, allow Anon and Careful their rest.
Safe had also already dismissed seeing Careful and it is late in the day.

I'm just saying her actions here are illogical for her and the situation
>>
>you are Anon
>new to Eqesrtria etc.
>princess is going to give you a guard
>partly to show you around partly to keep you out of trouble, while keeping tabs on you
>since friendship and stuff is important to pones she allows you to have the final choice
>her pre selected group of potential guards enters

1. Unicorn stallion, little younger than average eyes firmly fixed towards the floor
2. Pegasus stallion, older and clearly battle worn has some ribbons small smile
3. Unicorn mare, small but average age has a honor ribbon on her uniform
4. Earth mare, older and with some meat to her disinterested look about her
5. Earth mare, younger average size clearly nervous scuffed armor
6. Bat mare, average age gangly body shifting constantly eyes fixed on the princess

Who do you pick and why?
>>
>>30222195
>two stallions and a bat but no pegasus mare
lmao
>>
>>30222242
Just ignore the bait. Retard cant even spell out proper descriptions properly.
>>
>>30222195
All six, first pony to prevent me from giving celestia a nougie gets the job.

>Assuming standard anon atire, immediately throw suit jacket at Unicorn mare to block LoS, capitalise on unicorn stallion's inattention to grab and toss him at the Pegasus.
>Bat and Earth mares likely too slow to react to this in time while the experienced Pegasus instincts would be to first catch the falling pony before intercepting the aggressor, giving me a clear run to the princess.
>>
guard mare
guard mare
fuck you all im getting my fair share
>>
>>30222345
Sounds pretty Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes-y desu. I like it
>>
>>30210097
>The fire of the worst heat you've ever had just gets worse, the longer you're stuck in these hallways.
>Though how quickly Anon moves through them, he actually seems to know where he's going.
>You know your first times through here, you've never been able to find your way out.
>And hay, even now it's difficult sometimes.
>Your ears quickly perk up at the sound of a door clicking.
>-Wait, is it- could it be?
>Turning back, you confirm that you are indeed back in the castle room.
>Oh, finally...
>Finally.
>He walks in and gently places you both on the bed.
>"Alrighty, you both can rest now. I gotta start packing, meanwhile."
>He reaches into the clothes bag and grabs your shampoos, then two back brushes, before heading for the bathroom.
>Then he stops, grabs his new clothes, and continues walking.
>The second he disappears, Vannie practically tackles the bag and takes her clothes out.
>She starts putting everything on, while you watch curiously.
>"I'm not letting this opportunity pass up, I'm already tired of this stupid heat!"
>She smirks slightly.
>"Plus, if we play our cards right, he might postpone the trip."
>...That's true.
>You didn't really think of that.
>And hay, you'll do anything to not go back to that stupid desert.
>-Well, not ANYTHING, but this is mutually beneficial.
>You watch Vannie for a moment, before internally shrugging.
>Sure, good a time to dress up for your stallion as any!
>When you come face to face with your outfit, you feel your cheeks heat up.
>What would Ma think of you, wearing something like this?
>You shake the thought from your head and get crackin'.
>It's too late for shame now, you've most likely disappointed the hay out of them already.
>"Hey, c-could you help me out, here?"
>Vannie's having trouble with the sock on her left hind leg.
>For a second, it doesn't make sense that her right one is on, but she can't get the left on.
>Then you look at her still messed up wing.
>Oh, right.
>>
>>30223227
>might postpone the trip
Hehe. Those manipulative little ponies. It should work. Anon won't want to be screwing them out in the dessert. Fucking sand gets EVERYWHERE.

But he may just have to learn the hard way.
>>
>>30223568
Yessss, give it a few days. Really, "take care of" that heat.
>>
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>>30223227
OH MAN HERE IT COMES

SEXY TIMES SOON
>>
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>>30223227
we all know what comes next
>>
>>30223227
seems like there's hints of them starting this party before Anon gets back, if so my dick is diamonds

>Anon walks back in to see both his mares mid sloppy make out and grinding on each other in their cute lil socks and clothes
>they finally notice him and turn tails flagged presenting him thier soaked sexes, both blushing and panting with barely restrained lust
>hardcore sexual snuggles
>>
>>30221775
You're not missing anything, I just fucked up.

Frankly I'm struggling with this chapter cause I did not outline it like C2 and I still don't know where I want it to go, even though I thought I'd figure that out as I was writing.

I'm not gonna abandon it, but that's the main reason I've hardly been updating.
>>
>>30224214
>tfw you will never have a lewd royal mare as a roommate
>>
>>30225667
its fine dude I didn't mean to sound overly critical just that; that and the previous scene seemed out of sorts.
And I totally understand, I have a novels worth of half arsed, half chapter intro's that I can never progress, thinking that starting will some how provide the rest needed for a good tale. writing a decent story is hard.

your characters are still great and the story is still really enjoyable and I'm always thrilled to see more of it. Thanks for not giving up
Maybe just go for the short term goal right now? Careful and Moonie are currently out of action. Safety and Anon need to get to Honey. Focus on those two and how this meeting with Honey is going to play out, sad/comfy whatever, and where it plays out, your would building is always nice.
Anon and Safety need to build their friendship from this base level and Honey's situation is a good excuse to stick them together.
>>
Could someone give me a link for the explicit edit of >>30224214 image please? Can't find it
>>
>>30226369
jesus christ dude, how hard is it to scroll up a bit
>>
>>30226373
I am retarded
>>
>>30222242
>>30222345
>>30223029
>You are Moon petal, a Pegasi recently inducted into the Guard, sworn to defend the Kingdom and carry out the will of the Princesses.
>You are also extremely late to an appointment with Celestia herself and flying consideribly unsafe speeds towards the meeting place.
>Thanks to the tall corridors of the castle, you're able to avoid the general hustle and bustle of servants and nobility, albiet midly ruffiling their clothing and causing the maids minor conniption's as various objects are blown out of place by your passing.
>Attempting and failing to think of an excuse while trying NOT to think of your punishment for being late, you spot the conference room you were ordered to present yourself in roughly half an hour ago.
"Sorry i'm late! I-"
>Crashing through the doors your apology dies in your throat as you see that weird new creature rushing the princess with a menacing expression on his face, the arenaline flowing through your system from your highpowered flight causing your training to kick in as time slows to a crawl.
>Comrades incapacited by clothing, flight, rescue and shock. princess ass confirmed nice, assailaint unarmored and unarmed, non-lethal.
>Putting as much power into your wings as you can, you briefly note a surprised expression forming on his(?) face as a minor shockwave launches you towards the hostile.
>Striking him inches away from the princess, the resulting tangle of limbs crashing through various objects before coming to rest in the center of the room, your hooves pining each of his limbs to the floor as the debris settles around you.
>Fixing him with your best glare, you're bit nonplussed when he studies you for a moment before letting out a slightly pained laugh.
>"I'm supposed to buy you dinner first before i get thrown through a table, but i guess you're hired!"
>What.
>>
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>>
Not ded, just far away from my computer
>>
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>>30229446
ded
>>
Oí what happened to the purloiner anon and the night guard anon.
>>
>>30230317
They haven't reported back yet, so we don't know.
>>
>>30225667
No worries CW. It's not too late to start an outline now. I love the story and is still a cherished favorite. I like >>30226327 's ideas. Those are excellent story devices to move the story forward and provide more character development.

>>30227647
Awesome! Sounds like the start of a new green.

>>30230317
The night guard anon had promise. I hoped it would've been continued. I believe Purloiner Anon is a side project for one of the based writefriends here. Something to flex the creative writing muscles with so as to not burn out on a single green.
>>
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>>30230317
ded
>>
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dont be dieded
>>
>>30230526
Yeah purloiner Anon was kind of a one off response to some fun ideas that were introduced. I might expand on it later, but it probably won't be a single coherent story, more episodic with a little development of the guard mare and Anon's relationship each time.
>>
I'm not dead, I'm just playing Tekken
>>
im pretty ded
>>
>>30231548
>>30231553
don't you fucking die on me
>>
>>30230526
>"Sounds like the start of a new green"
Feel free to write it if you want, best i can come up with is a bored sherlock holmes type anon dealing with female horse watson.
I need to brush up on my holmes knowledge before i can do that, the movies apparently dont do the character justice.
>>
>>30232643
>bored Holmes-esque Anon solving mysteries with a Watson-like guardmare

Need
>>
>>30222195
Older earth mare
and then try to kill myself
>>
>>30231553
I wish there was something we could do to help. But I pissed away my last Phoenix Down trying to save that stupid houseplant.
>>
New to the thread, liked it.
Is there a Bin with all the stories?
It would make reading soo much easier...
>>
>>30233405
Top of the thread friendo
you've entered the ride of slow updates, teases and depressed writefags, welcome aboard
>>
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>>30231548
>>30231553
ded
>>
>>30233505
That's a cute fluffy cat.
>>
The hot sweaty stallion sacks of equestrias finest guards require cleaning and lucky licks the guard mare scrotum suckling slut is trained and readying help.
Not one stallion will be disappointed by lucky and her years of experienced oral soaking, she has two silver stars to prove it
>>
>>30223227
Aww, good thinking Vannie. Have a little fun and if the trip HAPPENS to be delayed then so be it. But eventually, he's gotta go back. He needs to know what happened. Plus who knows what else is down there that could be dangerous. The science ponies could use the help identifying things and what's dangerous or not. Anon might not know either but is more likely to recognize things.
No shame, no disappointment Brave. You're still the same valiant Royal Guard Mare that went off into the Badlands in search of your charge.

>>30231553
Don't die Blu. Get some rest if you need it. Come back with fresh eyes and ideas. We'll be here.
>>
>>30234592
Careful, stallions aren't allowed here, which is retarded because some fag here won't let you make another guard thread if it doesn't have a "mares only, no homo" rule in the OP: He'll shitpost it to death if you make one without it.
>>
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>>30234551
>>
>>30232643
I'd love to but it's hard to find the time. I've had a couple of story ideas and even started one but IRL stuff keeps getting in the way.

>>30235505
aww, filly Vannie and her dolphin.
>>
>>30235728
>filly Vannie
nope, I choose to believe that is the current adult Vannie
>>
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>>30235878
>ywn reuinite vannie with her favorite stuffed dolphin
>ywn surprise brave with her fillyhood blankie
>ywn see them with the biggest smiles ever
>ywn be tackled, cuddled, and showered in thank you kisses
>ywn ram both of their marehoods into a quivering pile for hours, all while vannie's dolphin watches from atop brave's blanket
>>
>>30236090
Actually, that sounds like a neat side story. Anon, surprises his mares with something to make his place feel like their home. Minuette and Gold his co-conspirators.
>>
Shopping has been done
Unaware his girls in heat
He will be surprised

pg9
>>
>>30237294
I really like the whole "anon is oblivious to horse sexuality" thing
>>
Moonie is tired
Anon's cuddles are the cure
Onwards to her place

pg9
>>
>>30238161
>Moonie
>Stealing filly Nightmare Moon's name from AiE
Fuck you and whoever took that name.
>>
>>30238523
>Moondancer has Moon in her name
>gets shortened to a nickname
Not sure what you expected desu
>>
>>30238523
>Stealing filly Nightmare Moon's name from AiE
Your implying AiE has anything worth stealing.
>>
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My MILFguard Escuda indulging in Hard Cider and begging for more.
>>
>>30239698
>/r/
nigga what does this look like to you? we've got a content drought as it is, nobody's going to draw your damn oc
>>
>>30239698
>Anon has guard mare.
>She is always drunk.
>She has leaned to hide it well on duty. But doesn't bother when guarding you.
>Unlike the rest she doesn't mind being close to you(but only while drunk?).
>Worried about her health and job you try to find out why.
>Even if getting her sober cost you your only close friend, and source of physical contact since you were dragged to equestria.
>>
>>30239999
check'd

>tfw you fuck that
>tfw you liquor her up to a even greater amount
>tfw constant drunk guard mare sex
>tfw her glassy bloodshot eyes fix on you as you fill her throat with you cock
>>
>>30239999
Her cutie mark looks like an ass farting lightning through a cloud.
>>
>>30239999
checked
>>
Watch Station empty
She finds upon her return
Solemn Rain alone

pg10
>>
bump from 9
>>
Flying rodents kill the thread. A story of a brave guard exterminating them to save Anon will revive it.
>>
>>30217172
...

>It'll be a bit of work hefting Moondancer around the twilight streets of Canterlot for the second time in a week, but you welcome it.
>Over the Moon's a mess, after all, and as nice as her improvised den in the back happens to be, it doesn't hold up compared to a proper bedroom.
>It would also be nice to stay somewhere you weren't last woken up in by violent intruders.

>You haul her to the door, closely following Safety First as she makes her way out.
>Her offer to see Careful confused you - you hadn't been aware she was taking visitors - but you assume if Safe said she would do it, she'll do it.
>Fibbing is not that pony's strong suit, and, after her great, lawful stand against your doing a single bit of work on your own for Careful, you believe she's too moralistic to lie in such a manner anyway.
>You don't want not to like Safe, but you're not overly optimistic that her shadowing you the next few days won't stress you further than this evening's conversation already did.
>The intrigue and danger she pointed out... could it really be that big a deal?
>The MILFs were happy to cause harm and damage under the cover of night, sure.
>But in the daytime they were a harmless bunch of squabbling, big-assed sign-wavers.
>And you haven't forgotten how much time an adrenaline-fueled kick bought you the other night... even if what went around came around when you lingered.

>Your mind drifts to your injured arm, which twinges painfully as you let Moondancer down by the door.
>Your magic treatment reduced it from a compound fracture and a possibly major and permanent downturn in your physicality to something resembling an unharmed limb, but you can still feel the places where your skin bruised, your muscles tore, and your bones broke and fragmented.
>>
>>30243866
>It'll be in a sling for days, perhaps weeks, yet, and it took persuading to even get the doctor to let you out after he saw how little it had progressed by day two.
>He gave in when you really held him over the coals for overstating the effectiveness of the 'magic' treatment, though.
>That football-sized pill turned out to feel less like a panacea and more like the biological equivalent of arts-and-crafts glue coupled with a Woodstock dose of slow-release opiates.
>A hell of a thing by the standards of regular medicine, sure... but you made sure not to voice this concession to that blustering old foghorn.

>So you got out.
>There are things you can't do with one arm - encasing Moondancer in her astonishingly fluffy parka before you drag her out and lock up the shop, for example - but you're out.
>Even if a pony named Safe is on your ass for the only reason you bothered to hurry out.
>You smack Moondancer playfully on the butt to get her moving.
"C'mon, Moon. I can't do everything for you. Suit up and I'll get the door."
>She yawns and staggers over to the coat rack, starting with her parka only after looking reproachfully over her shoulder at you.
>You worm into your own jacket.
>It's a rough process with one arm held immobile across your chest, but you're starting to get it.

>Once she's done, you reach for the knob and pull the door open.
>Winter air swims in to fill the entryway, accompanied by a few, sparse snowflakes.
"Alright. Ready to get on up?"
>You turn your good shoulder to her.
>She looks tired at you, gazes tentatively at your empty coat sleeve for a moment, blinks heavily, and sighs.
>"I can walk. Not that far. Need to show you the way anyway."
"Sure? It's really no problem."
>"It looks like one. And..."
>She turns away, regretfully.
>"If I'm not wrong, you essentially took it on my behalf."
>You prepare to contest this, but she's already out the door.
>>
>>30243874
...

>The other night had forced you to concede that your Academy hoodie alone was not enough to keep out this year's pre-Hearthswarming cold.
>...how many days is it, now, until Hearthswarming?
>In all the excitement of the past few days, you've barely thought of it.
>A week... no, eight days.
>You need to get presents for Mom and Dad.
>Dad insists he doesn't need one, even though you always get him one.
>He's happy, he says, with your company, with your coming over to spend the morning and evening, with your sitting on the couch with him, competing to see who can pick a pin-and-tumbler the fastest while Mom stokes the hearth, with your eating a mountain of his special baked mac-and-cheese he knows he can't get you to eat any other time of year, lest you lose your honed flyer's figure.
>And Mom needs one, of course, since she's always giving you so many.
>The very thing keeping you warm tonight, the jacket you're wearing as an outer layer to your hoodie, is one of them.
>It's clearly and lovingly homemade, not at all Canterlot-fashionable with its visible stitching and patching and its utilitarian design, but utterly functional in every area fashion fails.
>It covers you from the top of your neck to your hind knees, even fastening across your underside for particularly cold nights.
>Unfastened, it looks nearly vagrant apart from its cleanliness and lack of wrinkles, the type of garment you expect one of the MILFs might fear you'd corner a filly in an alley with, opening it to expose pockets filled with questionable and even obscene wares for their perusal.
>The thought makes you smile as you trot comfortably down the road to the hospital.
>>
>>30244123
>...

>"...out," explains the receptionist.
"Out?"
>"Out," verifies the doctor.
"So soon?"
>"This afternoon."
"On your advice?"
>"And her request."
>You're bewildered.
"Shouldn't I... somepony... have been notified?"
>"She's had a much snappier recovery than we predicted from her immediate physical and mental symptoms. Her..."
>He glances at the receptionist, probably to check whether you're a pony in-the-loop regarding the confidentiality of Careful's health concerns these past days.
>She nods.
>"Condition... is something she has had, and something she will continue to live with. But we believe she can safely live back at home now, considering that she has been given a break from her duties as a Royal Guard. We have allowed her to decide herself when to contact her friends and relatives and let them know of this, as a cautionary measure. Let her re-enter regular life at her own pace."
>Makes sense enough.
"Would I be able to visit her?"
>"She asked that we allow anyone seeking her here to do so. She is at home this evening."
>Out again you go, into the cold.
>>
That's a good sized update. I hope your feeling better.
>>
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>>30243874
>ywn see Moon Dancers ass jiggle after you playfully slap at it.
>>
>>30244129
Oí, the pastebin isn't up to date. I am a couple of threads behind on your story and the pastebin is barely on the part where safe wakes up to her birds
>>
>>30245140
sorry, I'll do that now.
>>
Bump 4 lood guardmares
>>
>>30223227

>>30224815
anon, stop reading my mind

>You gently bite on the sock, and pull it up around the same spot as the other one.
>It's kind of high up, covering a bit of what would be her Cutie Mark.
>And hay, maybe she does have one, but just can't see it through all this fluff.
>It'd only make sense.
>She shifts a little bit, making the sock donning process a little more difficult.
>And once you pull it all the way up, you can't help but notice how close you are to... uh, yeah.
"A-alright, there you go!"
>You quickly pull away, making things a bit less weird for you.
>Though, sharing your color with the socks hugging her thighs is still kinda weird.
>Bringing your hoof up, you look at it side by side.
>It's the exact same shade of your coat.
>Like, if you decided to put these on, nopony would notice you're even wearing anything.
>Sheesh, those things are really hugging her thighs though.
>...Oh mare, that's lewd.
>You watch her slip into the outfit, then shake your head.
>Focus Brave, you're not even in anything!
>Glancing towards the bathroom door, you remember that this mission is time-sensitive.
>Bringing your attention back to the bag, you quickly grab and suit up in what you can.
>Reminds you of training, actually.
>You can almost hear that stupid bugle playing in the distance...
>Shaking your head free, you're able to get all your socks on neatly.
>Perk of being an Earth pony, you guess.
>Never need somepony else to help put them on.
>Once you slip into the dress and pop out the other end, you can see the now very flustered, nervous expression of Vannie.
>Must be the whole lewd-ness factor.
>Wearing these things does leave you kind of-
"Huuh?!"
>W-what are, wh-whuh?
>She's booping you.
>VANNIE IS BOOPING YOU.
>She keeps her muzzle there, gently rubbing yours with it.
>And just when you think it can't get anymore confusing, she puts her hoof on yours.
>You start to shake and squirm in your spot.
>>
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>>30247562
The prophecy is fulfilled.
>>
>>30247562
unf
Forward little bat is forward.
>>
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>>30247562
here we go
>>
>>30247562
Oh! My body is ready! I'm so nervouscitied! I hope there is an AED near by. Anon might need it when he sees his beautiful mares.
>>
yeah, i'll need a while to write the next stuff
since im now officially a NEET, it shouldnt take that long, though
>>
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>>30247562
Let's get this party started
>>
>>30248861
>since im now officially a NEET, it shouldnt take that long, though
>Someone who is super-homophobic became a NEET
>In this fucked up world
Not surprised in the slightest.
>>
>>30249448
>super-homophobic
anon, since you obviously dont know me personally, ill tell ya right now that's false
also, im straight outta training, so it'll only be a while.

bait harder, mate, im not easy to piss off, ya know.
>>
>>30249528
Its just some faggot looking for (you)s, don't feed it.
>>
>>30247562
I'll stop reading your mind when it stops being so lewd
>>
>>30249528
what training? I didn't realise you'd been "away"
>>
>>30249707
just pharmacy tech stuff, hence the post about passing the ptce a while ago
i mean i still got tests to do, but that was practically all that mattered.
>>
>>30249528
>Blu: 1
>B8r: 0
kek. Keep being awesome Blu.

>>30249759
Blu the Pill Pusher; woo hoo!

>damnit.
Now I'm thinking about a pony named Pill Pusher.
>>
>>30249881
y-you too
>>
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butt bump
>>
>>30247651
Lewd poners a cute
>>
>>30250551
>obese human ass
Nasty
>>
>>30249881
>Pill pusher
Sells Red pills and water filters
Last seen screaming about "those damn CAMELS!"
>>
>>30247562
My body is ready.
>>
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>>30247562
IT IS NEARLY TIME

THE BREEDING NEARS
>>
>>30247562
The dick is 100% activated
>>
>>30247562
This is great stuff Blu, and congrats on getting through the big pharmacy test
>>
bump from 9
>>
/mlp/ sure is slow today
>>
>>30254410
Satyr is shitposting in incest again.
>>
>>30254414
okay..?
>>
>>30254422
Probably why its slow everywhere, focused shitposting. and checked.
>>
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>>30254414
They're still at it? They started slowly Monday and ramped up yesterday. I thought they'd bugger off by now.
>>
>>30255644
Nah, just two or three samefagging and defending themselves for shitposting. Funny thing is that they are acting like the three faggot shitposters we used to have here, they cant seem to understand when they aren't wanted. They even think there is a bogeyman following them around.
>>
>>30208690
More soon?
>>
Check
>>
>>30255240
Cute little guardmare, would drink with while chilling on the couch.
>>
>>30257252
>you and your new guardmare sit on the couch, just relaxing and enjoying the evening
>well, you are
>you can tell she's pretty bored, being stuck with you instead of off fighting something
>but hell, it's not like you asked for a guard
>and its not like there's anything to guard you from
>so instead, she's taken a lot towards guarding you from your own habits
>you pop the top off a beer and take a swig of it, then break open another for her.
>"o-oh, no, i'm fine, thank you."
>cute little thing, you gotta say
>even though she's stuck here with your boring ass, she still sticks to being professional
>you'd never be able to stay this sweet and polite on a charge like this
>you still lean the bottle against her, and she takes to holding it between her hooves
>she watches you while you drink
>"you shouldn't be drinking that. it's bad for your health."
"i know, mom."
>she seems a little hurt by your tone
>not that you meant it
>but the little ponies here are just really sensitive
"besides, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"
>she frowns a bit
"i can be superman if i keep this up."
>"th-that's not how it works!"
>she scoots closer to you
>"p-please don't drink, it's not good for you!"
>you try to avoid her gaze, but can't help it
>the second you turn, you're met with a pair of big, worried eyes
>not again
>come on, drinking is fine
>it's not that bad, right?
>it's just one beer
>you glance at her again
>then the bottle in your hands
>you sigh
>drinking doesn't sound so great to you, now
>you set it down beside the couch, and a soft smile touches her lips
>christ, it's so cute
>she puts the bottle you gave her down, and scoots just a bit closer to you
>"thank you."
>she leans her head on your shoulder lightly
>huh, this is new
>"thank you..."
>damn these ponies, first they take away your meat, and somehow they ruin beer for you
>she leans her whole body against you, letting you gently pet her side
>well...
>maybe it's not all bad
>>
>>30257586
>damn these ponies, first they take away your meat, and somehow they ruin beer for you
>she leans her whole body against you, letting you gently pet her side
Hnn....wat, we have to eat meat. We would die without it. Maybe not eat meat with that cutie around, but we would still have too.
>>
>>30257778
well if the pones were able to advance like humans, im sure some of the foods there would have the vitamins and shit anon would need
>>
>>30257869
Still not gonna get rid of an important diet requirement. Trading beer for snuggles, fine, but not meat.
>>
>>30257778
>>30257869
>>30257900
Technically we just need to eat protein, or rather the Amino acids that make up protein.
Our bodies either produce these from scratch or modifies other acids to suit, but a few of them (called essential) can only come from food.
Protein from meat usually contains all the amino acids we need, while vegetarian sources of protein like fruits, veg, nuts and seeds lack one or more of the essentials.
You can survive without meat, you just need to eat a mix of the above foods each day in order to get the healthy amount of protein your body needs.
Or get used to eating eggs since that's something they dont seem to have a problem with, four of which per day is enough to reach your daily amount of protein but then you also have to deal with other health issues such as increased risk of heart failure.
The ideal breakfast in equestria is a bowl of whole grains, chopped up fruits and a single scrambled egg with a glass of milk to wash it down.
Try to eat that every day and you'll get everything you need.
Plus it'll help you keep up with your guard mare, you dont want to be remembered as that tubby guy she had to babysit do you?
>>
>>30257778
>Hnn....wat, we have to eat meat. We would die without it.
They have eggs cheese and milk, that's enough for your human ass.
>>
>>30257900
must be getting a bit more
>>
>>30257911
Amino acids.
>>
>>30257778
Just eat bugs and fish. EZPZ
>>
>>30257909
>The ideal breakfast in equestria is a bowl of whole grains, chopped up fruits and a single scrambled egg with a glass of milk to wash it down.
that actually sounds fucking delicious
>>
How many guardsmares is too many for anon, /rgm/? I mean, if you think about it, normal working day shift is 8 hours, and there's 24 hours in the day, so you would at least 3 guards for round-the-clock protection -- but that's without giving any of them any ability to take a day off.

So is it 4, then? Three-shift rotation with days off or doing other stuff here and there for each guard?

Bonus question: How many of them get sum fuk from anon?
>>
>>30258959
There is no limit on guard mares. A literal sea of infinite guard mares filling the entire universe would not be enough.
>How many of them get sum fuk from anon?
All of them.
>>
>>30259069
OK, but how many is reasonable for, say, a greentext? Beyond a certain point it gets too corny, not to mention hard to keep track of, right?
>>
>>30259142
that's why you make them all unique and easy to distinguish, mate
>>
>>30259156
Fair enough.

Let's assume VIP guard duty is volunteer work that's reasonably well-regarded and even pays a little extra. The loser guards need not apply. Adding on whatever social constraints you can think of, what sort of reasons would a guardpony have to volunteer for VIP duty? How about for Anon in particular (you may assume he lives in Canterlot and isn't a layabout)?

I've already thought of four that I think would work well in a story that I've started sketching out in notepad++. But if anybody can think of more I'd be interested. I have some additional social customs & background I'm adding to the basic premise, but I'd like to hold onto those rather than give things away right now.
>>
>>30259719
well it's probably easier than other menial duties of the guard because there's no war
extra pay, obviously
maybe just to get away from the other guards, because there's lots of dudes
to excel at the job and earn a promotion
maybe could be mandated to have at least x hours in VIP service
to be on the job with your pone friend close by

because obviously being the pone guarding an alien is pretty cool to everyone else
because it'd probably be more exciting than guarding any other faggot
>>
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>>30259069
>Anon lands in Equestria
>Except its Schindelgheist IV version
>The whole planet is made of guardsmares
>>
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L E W D
>>
>>30259960
>it doesnt orbit the sun, it marches around it on patrol.
My fucking sides.

>Anon suggests they use some of their accumulated vacation time.
>The entire planet just up and leaves it's solar system to explore the universe.
>To keep warm during the time between stars the entire population snuggles each other.
>Accidently form a snuggle singularity that spreads anon across the entire mass.
>Each mare now has their own anon to protect and snuggle.
>>
>>30259719
As for choosing Anon in particular, could be after the first few guards, word gets around that it's a pretty cushy assignment, and Anon is a lot nicer to his guards than most of the snooty nobles and stuffy bureaucrats that make up most of the VIP assignments.

>Anon joked about being an ambassador/diplomat and advisor to the throne
>Celestia thought this was a marvelous idea
>Anon was not a politician, or a lawyer, or a public servant.
>He wasn't rich, or a businessman, and his experience with public speaking is limited to giving a class presentation for less than 10 minutes.
>He doesn't actually have any qualifications for the position, except he's a literal alien from another universe, and he might have taken a political science class once.
>Celly knows all this, and did it anyway
>It gets boring being immortal, you have to have your fun where you can.
>Also alien perspectives are both interesting and insightful (that's the official reason she gave)

>Hilarity ensues as Anon bumbles his way around culture clashes in foreign lands
>Makes unexpected allies
>Accidentally flings insults around (guard duty gets a little more interesting on those trips)
>>
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>>30261154
Has a lot of potential. Gonna a have to be a clever writefag, and take quite a bit of work to actually make it funny though.
>>
>>30261154
this could be fun, Anon accidentally insults the Yak kings mother, calls the Griffon Lord the equivalent of a dirty jew, plenty of fun stuff to be had.
>>
>>30261154
this has been done several times in the AiE thread, and its honestly more suited to that thread
>>
>>30262614
Yeah, these stories should focus more on the Guards themselves, rather than anon's antics.
>>
>>30263593
coughmagicandmudcough
>>
>>30263601
lost me broski,
That story is following a guard mares adventure to change history during a war?
>>
>>30263710
Yes
Also strictly focused on the guard
>>
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I need names, /rgmg/, names of guardsmares!
>>
>>30264163
Iron Kiss
>>
>>30264163
Striking Distance AKA Crosshair
Violet Lilly AKA Violent Lilly
KO Pummel (borrowing that one from Ponybones)
Hearth's Shield AKA Firewall
>>
>>30264163
Fervent Splendor.
Grand Visage.
Little/Tiny Details.
Active Duty.
Clean hooves
Clean Wrap.
Clear Background.

You could just add "Honer" to the end of a fitting first name.
Pearls Honer
Goldie/Golden Honer
Chocolate Honer
Munches Honer
Lilly Honer


It helps to know their character or colors so it can suit them.
>>
>>30264486
> Honer

I'm not sure I understand this one?
>>
>>30264486
>Medal (of) Honor
>Mother's name is Warfighter
I know I should apologize, but I don't want too.
>>
>>30264163
Duty Calls
>>
>>30264163
Shining Armor.
>>
>>30265087
Already done.
>>
bump from 9
>>
>>30265852
I thing that was the joke.
>>
Writefag here. I suck at coming up with pony names. Rate my proposed guardsmare names, please:

Sparkshower - Pegasus, cream coat with brilliant blonde mane. Cutie mark: Puffy white cloud raining golden sparkles.
Glammerspear - Unicorn, Barbie-pink coat with teal mane. Cutie mark: Shimmering green spear with flower at base of tip.
Honour Bound - Earth pony, Beaver-brown coat with chocolate-brown mane. Cutie mark: Bronze military cross surrounded by ring of chain.
Ebonshield - Batpony, Dark purple coat with white-streaked midnight-blue mane. Cutie mark: Black shield with white outer glow.

The three names that are "oneword" type names, I figure are more like the last names of the characters. They'll have actual first names, although we won't be on a first-name basis with them to start.
>>
>>30266922
Sounds good.
>>
>>30266922
>Honour Bound
That's a pretty common one. There's one in the Careful Watch story and I think he got it from another story as well.
>>
>>30266922
>Glammerspear
Did you mean Glamourspear? Also consider Glimmerspear.
>>
>>30267087
Actually I meant glamer with one 'm', as in the archaic term for an illusion (she's a spell caster after all). But it could probably work for her as Glamourspear too.

>>30267017
Common is probably good for this character as she is supposed to appear plain on the outside. But I'm open to suggestions.
>>
>>30267108
Ah, thanks for dropping some knowledge on me. Make sense. How about her cutie mark is a lenticular illusion? From one angle you see only the flower. From another you see the spearhead and flower.
>>
>>30266922
Just mix some medieval shit my man.

Iron, ring, halbert, estoc, dagger, end him rightly, Lucerne,Side sword, visor, gauntlet, helm, pommel.

Justice mail
Iron ring
Lucerne
Gleaming sword
Gold dagger
Bronce halbert
Sharp visor
Tower gauntlet
Diamond maiden
>>
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>>30269128
I love you little pone.
>>
>>30269128
I love you little pone.

I also thought of a rediculous guard regiment that subdues suspects entirely through aggressive cuddles.
>>
>>30269128
Only cuz I love the little ponies
>>
>>30267203
It sounds neat but I'm worried that may be a little too "original character, donut steel". Anybody else have an opinion?
>>
WHY HAS GOD ABANDONED US> EVERY DAY WE StRAY FURTHER FROM GODS LIGHT
>>
>>30269687
We have done something to anger them. Perhaps if we sacrifice a virgin?


1..2..3...

NOT IT.
>>
>>30269719
Hey if it helps us get more green I'll sacrifice my butt to the writefags of this thread.
CW, Whiskey, yoohoo Blu, they can all have a ride, I'll even cosplay their pones while in the act
>>
>>30269913
How are you planning to cosplay both of Blu's mares?
>>
>>30269933
Keep it fitting with the story itself I guess and swap between them per orgasm
>>
>>30269972
anon, th-that's too lewd
>>
>>30269972
you need a friend there so you can make out as proper guard pones
>>
>>30269985
If you're offering sure, I'm down for double teaming Blu
And if that includes a little pre Blu warm up with only his two "mares" alone that's also fine
>>
>>30270051
>If you're offering
N-no?
>>
>>30269719
>not willingly sacrificing your life and/or virginity for the good of the herd.
Do you even duty or honor.
>>
>>30269128
I love you little pone
>>
>>30271895
I come to check on this thread 3 hours later and this is what you give me, fucking slow ass thread
>>
>>30272842
Have you seen the board today? IT IS DED
>>
>>30269128
I love you little pone
>>
Royal Guard ranks: US Army or US Marines?
- E3 = Private First Class vs Lance Corporal
- E4 = Specialist vs Just a Really, Really Senior Lance Corporal
- E7 = Sergeant First Class vs Gunnery Sergeant

Or maybe following some other naming scheme?
>>
>>30273715
Probably a mix of Army and old medieval ranking conventions.
>>
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https://picarto.tv/Neuro
I'm drawing terrible anime guards
>>
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>>30273753
>>30273715
"Captain" is the only rank we know for certain and in canon their armor doesnt seem to indicate any sort of rank at all, so i presume that's a unique position.

I've been on a spiral knight binge recently and their rank system is pretty simple, only determining what gear you can use / what missions you take, using half of it to imagine an equestrian rank system seems pretty simple.

>Recruit
(Literally just started training)
>Apprentice
(Can use a weapon effectively.)
>Squire
(Has earned their armor, sans blue star thingy.)
>Soldier
(Full member of the guard.)
>Knight
(Reserved for Elites, directly promoted by Princess.)
And then on top of that you'd have different regiments / corps / squads for different purposes each with their own 'Captain' as leader.
>Royal guard.
>Hearth guard.
(Reserves / Territorial army type thing in case of invasion.)
>Border guard.
>Sky guard
(Pegasi specifically trained for aerial / weather combat)

I doubt a navy presence exists in an official capacity, Equestria doesnt have any overseas territory or any apparent desire to expand such.
A guard made entirely of unicorns is possible but unlikely, most spellcasters would likely fill support roles in the other guards.
>>
>>30274016
Neuro draws ponies
Does not think they're any good
They are top cute friend
>>
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>>30274572
anon pls, if my poners were good they'd kill people with cuteness.
>>
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>>30274723
nice
>>
>>30274723
Dat mane, its too much for this mortal world.
>>30274623
saved the comfy, annoyed Anon pone is there, but whatever.
>>
>>30274623
uh, yeah, from diabeetus.

>>30274723
It was a pleasure watching these appear before my eyes. It was like magic I tell ya. Thanks again.
>>
>>30274723
drop link again next time you stream.
>>
>>30274623
I would a human Vannie
>>
>>30274748
>>30274748
Oh shit, don't you see, it's Anon as a pone. Guard stallion Anon protecting his charge.
>>
Hi, anon from >>30273715 >>30266922 >>30264163 and >>30258959 here, except no longer anon. I've got a fresh drop for you. Feedback is greatly appreciated since I'm still new at writing /mlp/ greens.

Everyday Life With Guardsmares
https://pastebin.com/RHkvDaAw

In-thread posting begins... now!
>>
>>30275351
"Thank you for that update, Chancellor Strings and Engineer Anonymous"
> You are Celestia, Princess of the Sun, and bowing before you are your little pony Chancellor of the Exchequer, Purse Strings, and your rather larger not-at-all-a-pony Royal Engineer, Anonymous, who together have just delivered their monthly report on Anonymous' efforts to industrialize Equestria
> The report being satisfactory, your give a gentle nod in acknowledgement
"... If there's nothing else, I would like a moment to speak with Anon"
> "Not at this time, Your Highness. I take my leave."
> With another bow, Purse String nods his head and closes his enormous ledger with a resounding thud, then somehow wrangles it into the large saddle-bag strapped to his back, and exits the small Presence Chamber reserved for intimate meetings with your most trusted ministers and advisers.
> Anonymous, dressed in his black tailcoat and white shirt, with his elegant red Royal Engineer's sash visible, regards you with a questioning look on his face, still clutching the bundle of papers with his notes on them.
"Anonymous. Your services to Equestria have not gone unnoticed. A growing number of members of the Court have come to appreciate your endeavours. As such, I have the privilege of bestowing on you one of the boons available to those who serve the Crown."
> On cue, a guard pony in officer's regalia enters the room, with three more guard ponies marching in line abreast behind her
> You motion with your head, and Anon takes a step back to turn and regard the new arrivals
>>
>>30275358
> "ATTEN-SHUN!"
> The officer clacks her hind hooves on the floor and salutes the two of you, and the three guards behind her do likewise
> "PREE-SENT!"
> Another hoof-clack, and the three guards sit their hindquarters down and thrust their chests out
> A moment passes, and Anon turns his head to look back at you
"One of the privileges granted to Very Important Ponies is a personal detachment of Equestria's finest. You may now enjoy security and dignity wherever your work may take you."
> Anon nods in thanks.
> "Thank you very much, Your Highness."
> He seems a little surprised by it all, however. You lean a little over and speak softly.
"Is something wrong?"
> "Well, I'm honoured, of course. But I didn't think there were any kind of safety problems in Canterlot serious enough to warrant *bodyguards*."
> You gently smirk. His answer is typical of the pragmatic person you know him to be
"You might be surprised. But you're right: security is only part of the reason for being assigned guards. It is considered a mark of dignity and wealth for Courtiers in Canterlot to have a retinue of Bodyguards, whether needed or not. Normally, those who live outside the palace must hire their own. For guests of the Palace, such as yourself, as well as for recent arrivals who have not yet established themselves in the city, the Royal Guard provides a VIP honour guard service."
> "I see. In olden times, we had similar customs where I'm from. Servants called Footmen were hired almost more as a display of wealth than any practical purpose."
"Of course. But I trust you'll find my Royal Guard useful as well as decorative. Lieutenant Violetta, if you would kindly introduce us...?"
>>
>>30275363
> The officer-guardsmare salutes again and regards the pony at the end of the line
> "Specialist Sparkshower, PRE-SENT!"
> A young pegasus mare with a cream-coloured coat and a brilliant-blonde mane takes a step forward and salutes the two of you individually
> "Specialist Sparkshower, reporting for duty, Your Highness! Sir! By the honour of the Royal Guard, I pledge my life in the service of your protection!"
> Lt. Violetta nods, satisfied.
> "SPC Sparkshower has volunteered for VIP duty out of the 19D Armoured Scouts. A swifter, quieter, and more diligent scout you won't find in the entire division."
> Anon nods in acknowledgement, and the Lieutenant moves on to the pony in the middle.
> "Specialist Glamerspear, PRE-SENT!"
> Another young guardsmare, this one a pink-coloured unicorn with a teal-and-cyan mane, steps forward, and repeats the ritual introduction, after which Lt. Violetta presents her resume.
> "SPC Glamerspear comes to you from the 14E Air Defence Company, and brings best-in-class abilities with magical shielding and telekinetic anti-air projectiles."
> As if to put an exclamation point on that statement, the unicorn's horn glows and, for a brief moment, a translucent green hemispherical defensive field flashes above her head.
>>
>>30275369
> After Anon acknowledges the flashy display and the flashy mare who performed it, it's time for the final member of the trio, an earth pony with a brown coat and chocolate-brown mane
> "Corporal Bound, PRE-SENT!"
> The non-commissioned officer steps forward, with an experienced soldier's steady step and stern gaze
> "CPL Bound is a veteran of the 11B Infantry, and has served all across Equestria, from the Celestial Sea to the Luna Ocean. There's not a single danger situation she hasn't been in, and as the NCO of your detachment, will provide leadership to the other Guards on duty."
> All three guards having been presented, you speak up.
"Well, Engineer Anonymous, what do you think?"
> "I think Your Majesty has overburdened me with her generous gifts. If a portal to Tartarus opened up in my chambers, I feel as though I needn't so much as draw closed my robes."
> Before you can answer, Lt. Violetta puffs her chest out and speaks up in a proud voice
> "That's the idea, Sir!"
> Everybody seems to share in a bit of an internal chuckle at the Lieutenant's gung-ho enthusiasm
> Anon turns to you and lifts an eyebrow
> "A question, Your Majesty. I can't help but notice that all three Guards I've been assigned are mares. While in Court, you seem to constantly be surrounded by guard-stallions. Is there some significance to that?"
> As astute as ever. Little wonder Purse Strings speaks so highly of Anon's attention to detail.
"As a matter of fact, there is. As an escort of bodyguards is, as I've mentioned, as much for decoration as for security, it is the traditional custom for unattached VIPs to be escorted by guards of the opposite sex, the better to show off their... worthiness"
> To avoid lingering on that obvious euphemism, and its implications, you continued on.
>>
>>30275376
"Lieutenant Temper Violetta will be the officer in charge of your detachment, although she will reside in the main barracks. The members of your escort will be housed in the servants' quarters on the second floor, above your chamber."
> "And am I to be escorted at all times?"
> The Lieutenant pipes up
> "VIP Guard duty is performed for sixteen hours a day, from 0800 hours to 2400 hours, with a two-shift rotation. Three guards are assigned so as to accommodate regular Royal Guard duties and leave."
"And if you have any more questions, you may direct them to the Lieutenant. She will also handle any scheduling or special requests you may have."
> Recognizing this as a subtle cue that the presentation was now over, Anonymous turned to you and bowed once more
> "Your Majesty is overgenerous in her gifts. I shall redouble my efforts to bring scientific and industrial enlightenment to Equestria"
> More zealous work from Anon wasn't what you'd had in mind by this ceremony. He was a well-adjusted, down-to-earth creature, who'd quickly recovered from the shock at being translated to a completely foreign land and launched himself into useful work.
> But his frenetic pace was unsustainable without strong bonds to Equestria and its people. Eventually, unless he developed some lasting roots, he would burn himself out, and that would be a terrible waste.
> The more you could get him involved in Court life, in Canterlot society, in Pony culture as a whole, the better it would be in the long run - even if it meant sacrificing his valuable time to frivolous pursuits.
>>
>>30275383


> You are Specialist Artemis Sparkshower, and this is the most exciting day of your life!
> You mean, after the other most exciting days in your life, like when you'd finished horseshoe camp and joined the Royal Guard for real, or even when you'd first arrived in the huge capital city of Canterlot!
> And now, you've been accepted as a Very Important Pony bodyguard!
> Well, except that the target wasn't exactly a pony, but that was beside the point.
> The point was - now you were finally going to get a taste of the high society that folks around here lived and breathed.
> Your mind started to swirl with all different kinds of fancy hoity-toity events you'd get to attend.
> Attend as just a bodyguard, but hey, gotta start somewhere, right?
> You're going to go to Royal Balls...
> You're going to attend Gala openings...
> You're going to see Masquerades...
> "Listen, sparks-for-brains, if you're gonna have your head in the clouds, you might as well get your butt up there as well, so you don't block the doorway for the rest of us!"
> Aw, sunshowers.
>>
>>30275388
"Sorry!"
> You quickly hustle out of the way, into the small shared living space alloted to you and your fellow guards.
> Having been pulled down out of your daydream, you put down your bag and survey your new home.
> Furniture consists of a sofa with a pair of club chairs, a little breakfast-table to seat four.
> Five doors surround you; four of them lead to identical bedrooms, the last leads to a small washroom.
> One of your new squadmares, Glamerspear, is already poking her head into one of the bedrooms. From what you can see, and assuming they're outfitted identically, you each get a wardrobe, dresser, writing desk, and twin bed.
> "Nice digs. Sure beats the barracks."
> "The one on the far left is mine."
> That's your squad leader, Corporal Bound, entering shortly after you.
"At ease!"
> Glamerspear turns around and mimics your parade-rest form
> CPL Bound shoots you a disinterested look
> "Carry on."
> Before the second word even escapes her mouth, Glamerspear is already back to poking around in the different bedrooms, apparently trying to figure out which of the identical ones is best.
>>
>>30275395
> "Specialist Sparkshower?"
"Yes, Corporal!"
> "First time out of your unit?"
"Yes, Corporal!"
> "First time bunking with anyone other than a bunch of other junior guards?"
"Yes, Corporal!"
> By now, Glamerspear has finished her inspection and is looking curiously at the two of you - but you keep your attention on the senior noncommissioned officer, just as you're supposed to.
> "We're living together, Specialist. 'Parade Rest' is going to get old fast every time I need to use the mares' room."
"Yes, Corporal!"
> "Save it for when we're out of our quarters, Specialist. In here, we're all just guards. Understand?"
"Yes, Corporal!"
> CPL Bound just shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders, trundling off to her chosen bedroom, duffel bag in tow.
> There's a chuckle from one of the middle bedroom doors.
> "Geez, Sparks, you sure can take a hint."
> You turn to face your squadmare. She looks a little older than you, but only a few years.
"I'm just following the Military Customs and Courtesies. We're still in the Royal Guard."
> Using her telekinetic magic, she tosses her duffel bag into the room, and you hear it land on the bed with a *poomf*.
> "Pssht, sure we are."
> You furrow your brow.
"We still have to go to reveille each morning."
> SPC Glamerspear starts to prowl around the living room, checking just how plush the sofa and chairs are.
> "True."
"We still have three drills a week."
> "Also true."
"So how are we not Guards, Specialist Glamerspear?"
> "Because..."
> In one swift move, she hops into the air and lands on her back, lying on the couch.
> "... *We* get to be in *Society*"
>>
>>30275397
> At that, your expression relaxes, and you grin as you start to think about all the great ponies you're going to get to meet. And the parties you'll get to attend!
> And the stories you'll share with your new marefriends!
"Yeah... Yeah we do."
> Glammerspear waves a hoof at you.
> "Aw, you're not so bad, Sparks. You can call me Glam, by the way."
> Trotting over, you take her hoof and give it a shake, then hop up onto one of the chairs.
> It's probably a far cry from anything a Lord or Lady gets to sit on, and it's no cloud, but it was way comfier than anything in the barracks.
"Pleasure to meet you."
> "So, what's your story, Sparks?"
"Well, I'm from Berry -- that's a little town about two hours' train ride north of here."
> "No offence, Sparks, but anybody can tell you're not from a big city. Or even a small city."
> How did she know? Guess you still have some country traits to shake off. Especially if you want to fit in with high society in Canterlot!
> "... But you're not from Cloudsdale? I thought that's where all the pegasi live."
> At this, you start to beam with pride.
"Most of them, sure. But my family's been living in Berry for generations. Us and the earth pony farmers who depend on us for the weather, we go way back, like one big team."
> "*Swell*. And you've been in the Guard, what, like two-and-a-half years? Made Specialist recently?"
> Another point of pride. Hopefully you're not getting too rosy-cheeked about all this.
"Actually, I've only served for a year and a half! I got early promotion for outstanding work during that recent Crystal Empire Incident."
> Despite her cynicism, your squadmare seems suitably impressed.
> "Neat. They don't let just anybody get VIP duty, so I knew you must have had something going for you."
> You're not entirely sure if that was a compliment or an insult
>>
>>30275405
> "What about me, you ask? WELL, I've been earning top marks in my company - Air Defence, in case you forgot - ever since I left 'shoe camp. I've been at this for five years, you know."
> Glam shoots you a grin
> "... So if you need any tips, rookie, you just let me know, ho-kay?"
"I will! Thanks."
> There's a moment of silence when neither of you can quite figure out what to say next. It's all so much to take in at once.
> Corporal Bound strolls out of her room. You manage to suppress the urge to shout 'At ease' once again.
> "Sparkshower, you have first duty tomorrow. Glamerspear, you've got the afternoon. Until then, we've got the day off. I'm going to head over to the commissary to get some books and magazines. Either of you want anything?"
"Oh! I'd love a copy of 'Canterlot Match'!"
> Glamerspear tilts her head all the way back over the armrest to look upside-down at CPL Bound.
> "I've got some bits in my duffel bag if you could get me the latest issue of 'Cosmoponitan'"
> "Don't worry about the bits. It's my treat to get us all off on the right hoof."
"Gee, thanks, Corporal!"
> Corporal Bound gives you a defeated look.
> "Call me 'Honour' when we're informal, Specialist. That's my first name."
"Sure thing, Corporal Honour Bound! I mean... Honour."
> "As you were."
> The door is barely shut behind her when Glam speaks up again.
> "There goes somemare who's been in the Guard for too long."
> In the Guard too long? Was such a thing even possible?
"Why do you think that?"
>>
>>30275412
> "Well, duh, just look at her! And listen to how she talks! She's done everything already! There's nothing new under Celestia's sun for her."
> It made sense, but it didn't seem like something very nice to be bringing up.
> "... Well, if she wants something new and exciting, VIP duty is the right place, right, Sparks?"
"Heh, yeah. Though if I'm being honest, just about everything is new and exciting to me around here."
> "Aw, that's the spirit! And so what if we have to deal with a bit of a freakshow, right?"
"Freakshow?!"
> At your exclamation, Glamerspear dials back her enthusiasm quite a bit, and her ears go flat.
> "Sorry. That was too harsh."
> There's a pause
> "I mean our charge, this Anon guy."
> You recall the formal title when you were given your marching orders.
"Anonymous, By Appointment to Their Majesties Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, Royal Engineer."
> "Yeah. Gotta admit it's a fancy title, though. And he may look a little weird, but if Princess Celestia puts up with him, he can't be all that bad."
"I've only met the Princess once before, at graduation, but it seemed to me like she doesn't just 'put up with him'."
> "Oh, you think so? Well, you're the Armoured Recon, I guess. Still, he's pretty funny-looking, right?"
> Flipping over forwards onto her belly faster than seems possible, Glamerspear looks up at you with a grin
> "Betcha you never saw anything that walks around on two legs like that growing up in 'Berry', am I right?"
"Well... there was a minotaur who lived just outside the town, near the forest."
> "Oooooh! Was he all scary and mysterious?"
> You shake your head. This mare sure has an active imagination. And she thought *you* had your head in the clouds?
"No, he was just an old bull. He used to pick mushrooms in the forest and bring them to market. And the earth ponies would sometimes ring him up when they needed a hand moving something real big."
>>
>>30275418
> "Bo-ring! Now, *Changelings*, those things are creepy. Hey -- you know what the difference between a young Changeling and an old Changeling is?"
"No, what?"
> Glamerspear rolls over onto her back again and thrusts her forehooves up into the air
> "You don't have to lead the old Changelings quite so much when you're shooting at 'em!"
> She makes 'pew-pew' noises with her mouth and swings her forearms like she's hurling invisible spears up at the sky.
> Which, to be fair, she's probably actually done.
> Oh, thunderstorms, is this going to be an interesting assignment
> Still, though.... Canterlot society! You're here at last!
>>
>>30275427
That concludes tonight's initial post. I probably won't have time for an updated until midway through next week, unfortunately. Please let me know what you think, whether you think this was a refreshing end to the green-drought, or if it felt like pissing on your head and telling you it was rain.
>>
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>>30275437
fresh greens, GOOD fresh greens. Aw shit yeah
>>
>Violetta
I like that name. All the names you settled on sound pretty good.

>"What about me, you ask?"...
>Some snobbiness detected
>"...so what if we have to deal with a bit of a freakshow,..."
Okay, this mare is already starting off on the wrong hoof for me.

>>30275437
Greetings Man From Another Time! Not bad, not bad at all. Decent staging and character establishment. Actually, good character establishment considering I'm already disliking one and finding another adorably charming. Dialogue seemed stiff/forced in the beginning but worked out well towards the end. (Might have been intentional given the "Royal" environment they were in.) Good job overall. I look forward to the next update.

Have a badly written haiku.

New writefriend appears
Fresh green to present to us
Savor the new words
>>
>>30275437
I found it pretty interesting. I like the charicters so far, and enjoyed the hyper ocd of Glamerspear. Sparkshower has a nice background so far though feels a little flat.

I have a strong urge to cuddle your Honour Bound, and see the old warhorse loved and happy.
>>
>>30275437
Off to a good start, you've got some interesting ideas and starting with more than one pony gives you a bit more freedom in the interactions of the characters.

my thoughts.

Invest in some line breaks, their cost to the post limit is minimal but they would improve the readability a huge amount.

Following from that, there are a couple of points where it is unclear where the speech is being directed / coming from; fixing the line breaks will probably solve it.

other than that i'm looking forward to see where you take it
>>
>>30275437
also.
I like the idea that the guards are not really there as guards. it makes more sense for the gentle Equestria that we see canonical.
the old idea of footmen fits quite well.

page boy/ page colt, when?
>>
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>>30275437
Drawfriends pls?
>>
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Sergeant Reckless guard green when?
>>
>>30275672
Thanks about the names. I really struggled with them a bit.

Only true geniuses will appreciate the pun in the Lieutenant's name. 9.5/10 of your Facebook friends won't get it! Temper Violetta -> Temper Vi -> Semper Fi

Haiku also appreciated.

>>30275705
> Sparkshower feels a little flat
I figure each character's external personality will be much more on display when they're not narrating. So, look for POV to jump a bit and her character to get more fleshed-out.

I'll try to be more generous with line breaks. It's tough because usually I write prose, and sometimes it feels like excessive greentext linebreaks makes a character's internal thoughts feel like the autism got cranked up to 11.
>>
>>30276284
Geez, I didn't think anybody would call for drawings so fast. I've been playing around with http://www.dolldivine.com/mlp-fim-pony-creator.php and came up with the following so far:

* Sparkshower: 2S2R000010FEFDD1FFC49D000014EFF4DUN1837000200002S0FFDF00FF7FFF04107F3FCC004CB2
* Glamerspear: 2S2T001100FD6C9EFFC49D000014EFF4DUN18372010000035100808000FFFF1X107F3FCC004CB2
* Honour Bound: 2S2T0020009F8170FFC49D000014EFF4DUN1837404000000907B3F0000FFFF09107F3FCC004CB2

Unfortunately that creator doesn't have any guard armour or stuff to slap on the characters.
>>
>>30277127
Made it into 1 image so ppl interested wouldn't need to fuck with generator

Well I'm just that type of faggot who needs pictures in his books.
>>
>>30277319
Cute bump
>>
>>30276455
She's so fucking floofy, I want to rub my face in it.
>>
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>>30275437
I like it. I'm definitely interested to see where it goes.
>>
>>30276829
>Temper Violetta
Nice. I wouldn't have gotten it.

>>30277127
>>30277319
I love the images painted in my mind and having ACTUAL pictures certainly helps for reference. Thanks. I imagined Glam would be more like Fleur's or Sassy's body type though. Especially with that muzzle she has.

I agree with >>30275705 about cuddling Honour Bound. She looks like she needs it.
>>
>>30278732
To be honest, I haven't really played with the app that much. I didn't even pick different eye colours for the characters yet. But yes, you're right, Glam should probably have more of a "skinny bitch" figure going on.
>>
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>>30280206
such a qt
>>
>10?
>Not on my watch!
>>
>>30278223
who wouldn't
>>
everyone's waiting for blu's green
>>
>>30283531
which might take longer, because i just lost the 6 posts worth of writing i had done
i thought i saved it
>>
>>30283611
Shiiiiet
>>
>>30283531
blue and careful always. and that new one, and whiskey.
>>
>>30282810
>>30278223
>>30276455
"Hey, new guy, the sarge is a bit unorthodox, have fun tonight!"
>You going to kill that understating bastard.
>"I am going to sit here for ten minutes, during which you will NOT touch my chest fluff, do you understand me?"
"S-sergeant wh-"
>"I asked if you understood me private."
>She didnt raise her voice, but the commanding tone hits you like a horsehoe to the face.
"Y-yes m'am!"
>"Good."
>Shifting slightly to get comfortable, she settles on top of your chest, her own only a few inches from your head.
>you never paid it much attention before, but now you cant help but stare.
>it looks so soft...
>"My eyes are up here private."
>Slightly flustered, you jerk your eyes upwards to look at the smug horse sat on top of you.
>Pushing that aside, you try to keep your voice as respectful as possible.
"Sarge i dont think this is appropriate."
>"I fail to see whats inappropriate about a ranking officer testing the mettle and discipline of a soldier under her command."
>Unconsciously glaring at said officer, your respectful tone slips slightly.
"M'am are you implying that i'm a coward, or that i'd disobey orders?
>"That's what i'm here to find out private."
"I would sooner break my own arms than dishonor my family that way, sarge."
>leaning close and matching your stare, she lets out a small chuff as she softly says
>"Prove it."
>Leaning back, her voice returns to the commanding tone previous
>"New orders private, you are to take those arms of yours and explore enemy territory, stay north of the border and your previous orders still stand, Understood?"
>"Yes m'am!"
>Glancing at your watch as you slowly bring your hands up from your sides, you see that just barely two minutes have gone by.
>You're definitely murdering that fucker if you survive the next eight.
>>
>>30284747
What as tease. Though giving her a good scratching and back massage would be a nice compromise.
>>
>>30283611
Notepad++ with its auto save feature is your friend. You can even set it up so the colouring is correct.
>>
>>30284747
we can't touch the fluff but we can scratch the ears
>>
>>30209161
>It wasn’t a very long journey.
>The gradually worsening condition of the buildings surrounding you and the complete lack of civilian ponies let you know that you were coming up on the Canal District.
>Once a center of high society, where Damwall’s elite could obtain the latest fashions in countless boutiques and haberdasheries, the Plague had brought the booming Canal District to a dead halt.
>Now, it is the home of the Blinders.
>Formerly one of the most powerful gangs in Damwall, the Blinders had been nearly wiped out by Emperor Coltwin the Third’s security reforms, decades earlier.
>As Plague consumed the city, his daughter had been powerless to stop their resurgence, and that of other gangs, upstarts and old blood alike.
>Voices reach your ears from further up the gloomy street, and your guide slows to a trot, indicating a dilapidated jeweler’s shop occupying the first floor of a tall building.
>Several City Watch ponies pace the street outside of it; a makeshift command post, you surmise.
>“The officers are inside, Ma’am. Probably still debating a plan of attack,” the Watch private informs you.
>A lingering exasperation hints that the “debate” has been ongoing since long before she fetched you.
>Joint operations between the Watch and the Abbey are increasingly common these days, but never – ever – go smoothly.
>>
>>30285695
>A familiar voice is being raised as you make your way through the door, growing louder as you cross a display room that looks more like a barracks.
>Watch ponies are checking over their equipment and filling ammo pouches from supply crates stacked in the center of the room.
>Keeping to their own is a smaller group of Overseers, faceless behind their masks, talking in hushed tones and casting expressionless glances at their blue-clad counterparts.
>Your fur bristles at the sight of them, and you take a steadying breath as you approach a door labeled “Sales Office.”
>The voices on the other are shouting now, and you wait for a slight lull in the argument before pushing the door open and entering.
>Captain Gale turns toward you, giving a curt nod.
>Opposite him stand two unmasked Overseers, a short, stocky stallion with a close-shaved mane and mare with a bobbed mane.
>You recognize her as desk pony from the Office of the High Overseer, and judging by her perky smile, she recognizes you.
>“Well, now that we’re all here can we finally get this operation moving, Captain?,” the stallion asks, although it sounds more like a demand.
>“Not until I have your word, Overseer,” Gale fires back, cold eyes boring into the Overseer’s skull.
>You look between the two of them, noticing that the mare is doing the same thing, her smile gone.
>Finally, the stallion caves with an exasperated eye roll.
>>
>>30285815
>“Fine. All effort will be made to apprehend criminals for imprisonment.”
>“No killing on sight?” Gale inquires, raising an eyebrow.
>“No killing on sight, if it can be avoided.”
>“Including by your ponies?” Gale pushes further.
>“Captain Gale, these good ponies of the Abbey just lost many of their brothers and sisters at the very hooves of these vermin, you can’t possibly expect all of them to -”
>“Vice Overseer?”
>“YES, including by my ponies, now let’s get on with it, before we lose what little surprise we have left!”
>Gale nods his agreement, finally securing his terms.
>Despite his demeanor, Gale has always been a by-the-book Watch pony, and detests the Abbey’s sloppy and cruel approach to police work.
>He turns once again to you.
>“Lieutenant Rain, please call Sergeants Dust and Buckle in here.”
“Yes, Sir.”
>The sound of the door opening draws the attention of every pony in the display room, eager to hear some news.
“Sergeant Dust and Sergeant Buckle, report to Captain Gale.”
>The two ponies in question make their way through the crowd, Dust giving you a friendly nod and smile as he passes through the door.
>Once everypony is accounted for, the briefing begins.
>>
>>30285821
Just a little something while I figure how the next part is going to play out.
>>
>>30285828
thanks!
>>
>>30285828
Good update Whiskey.
>>
We need more male bromance guard stories.
>>
>>30286949
Might go farther if every time this was asked for it was preferenced, guard friend story, and nothing else. Because everytime bromance is brought up it is immediately turned gay. Or you write it yourself.
>>
>>30286949
Secto/Yoohoo's story had a chapter of bromance in it, and it's the most unpopular green in the thread.
You think that's a coincidence?
>>
>>30287060
>You think that's a coincidence?
With a super-homophobic autist around here who will screech like a child the second someone whispers the word "stallion" or anything else he personally doesn't like, I'm not surprised.

I think I'm gonna go see if I can find and read that story you mentioned. Unless someone can be kind enough to repost it?
>>
>>30287060
Didn't he do two stories? I haven't been able to keep up with the Time travel pone because there isn't an Anon, and the glorified black dude was the love interest. And I can remember what the other story he was writing was about, its been too long. But I vaguely remember that it was better.
>>
>>30287060
bait or not I'm actually interested what chapter that is/was, because I honestly don't remember any.
unless you're talking about the flashback to Sandstones past, which you can't really count as it was a bare bones look at his history
>>
>>30287145
Magic and Mud - http://pastebin.com/mTAB4nnE
>>
>30287145
When blatent HHH shitposters like you stop ruining new threads for yourselves and actually make your own damn content, you might find people tolerate you bastards, but the impossible is called impossible for a reason. No (you) for you.
>>30287171
Shouldn't that be on the list?
>>
>>30287183

screeching autistic located, one too far gone to even read the OP. I'm sure your parents are proud
>>
>30287229
I cant tell if your baiting on purpose or accident, but this>>30287183
was said because the Sectopod story is ON the OP, and there shouldn't be any need to have someone link it down here...unless you faggots still don't know how to read yet. You did learn didn't you? I wont bother asking the rest of your lurker friends, but I am curious if ONE of you improved.
>>
>>30287171
Thanks for the link, man!

>>30287183
>>30287292
>but I am curious if ONE of you improved.
I'm curious to know if you can improve. You're still so autistic that you seem to genuinely believe that a (you) is worth gold to people, and you always have to point that out too
>hurr, no you for you faggot
every single time you meet someone who likes something you don't like.
Nobody cares about (you) here except you. Now grow up.
>>
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>>30287146
I've written a bunch of shit that's never gotten finished, but if you're talking about Flight of the Nightingale being good then you're sorely mistaken
>a literal fight with Purple Autist and literally who main character OC where the MC doesn't get turned into a red smear on the ground because they're fighting what amounts to a god
>a deus ex machina solution to a problem multiple times
>forced romance between Anon and MC
>Purple Autist acting out of character for pretty much the entire duration
>being written in the tech thread and having like .5% emphasis on the technology because I'm retarded
>MC has no goal/an almost nonexistent one

Among other things. I'm always tempted to rewrite the whole thing but I never get around to it
Regardless, I came here because I thought it'd be a nice break from writing something including the green human all the time, and seeing as how when I got here the two greens both had Anon in them, I just felt like writing something different.
It sucks being called worst green, but what can you do?
>>
>>30287469
Try again, or at least finish the job? You can be called persistent if nothing else. And your writing is fine, just the way the stories turned out is unfortunate. But that's what we're here for, want to try again?
>>
>>30287545
I've considered it, but I'm too attached to the """""""world"""""""" I've written to just up and change it on a whim. I'll just keep putting out updates, and anons can call them worst, unpopular, etc. until they're blue in the face or I get run out of the thread

Sure it gets on my nerves, but that's just the hand I drew
>>
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>>30287469
trust me anon, it's just the same faggot
rewind is a goddamn qt, and im always waiting for moar
if anything, http://www.strawpoll.me/12921628/r should tell you where you stand
>>
If we're going to be keeping the thread alive with shitposting again I can always see about writing another chapter to that diaper guard mare green
>>
>>30287670
Good, some small choices that shouldn't have been made are too late to be fixed, but at least your going to finish. Which is more than I can say for others.
>>30287690
Strawpolls don't mean shit anymore, and that was a dumb idea to make one anyways. Besides, its been acknowledged that she is a cute, just given poor romantic choices.
>>
>>30287713
looks like someone's upset their favorite pone is at the bottom
>>
>>30287469
Bit unfair to you're own work their mate, yes the FotN has problems but so does every story.
I really enjoyed the world and the characters you made in it. my biggest problem with it overall was the out of fucking nowhere 0-to-100 escalation in everything after the Badlands, it really felt like the whole story got kicked into a different genre.

your other points above are valid of course, but anything involving Twilight risks running afoul of a number of those.

I feel much the same about MaM its got a really good world and I'm always down to see where you go in it with these interesting characters. yeah its a bit grim and sadly that's just not what a lot of people here want.
They want the soft fluff that Blu and CW provide, and hell I'm guilty of that just as much,

But I can still see that you have a good story there, and I'm glad you're not going to give up despite what some may say.
>>
>>30287694
So long as it has royal guard mares in it, then whatever. Just do a solid and mention it in your first line when you post the story so those who don't like that kind of thing can easily scroll past it.
>>
>>30287841
Ignore the guy saying the grime wasn't wanted, that's fine. Its just that you had no Anon and the MC was with a Zebra(which is definitely not a human.) Otherwise the story was good.
>>30287855
Don't reply to yourself, its pathetic, stay in the trash where you belong, don't ruin getting off banning again.
>>
>>30287911
grim* not grime, finger slipped.
>>
>>30287911
>Don't reply to yourself
I didn't.
>>
>>30287694
[spoilers]thats my fetish[/spoilers]
>>
>>30288229
Shitpost somewhere else faggot.
>>
>>30288229
newfagdetected
>>
>>30288229
Anon, your new is showing
>>
>>30275351
New writefag, neat.
>>
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>>30287145
>waaaah they're mean and I can't have what I want!
Keep crying, shitstain.
>find and read that story
What a fucking surprise, the resident homo poster doesn't even know about a story that's been going on for months here because he's too busy bitching about not getting his homo garbage to even notice.
What do you even do in this thread besides being an obnoxious fuck?
>>
>>30289701
Trying to go arounf to other threads and shitpost, I fine the faggot in the RGRE thread recently. He posted a literal cuck story as a argument to have MMF threesomes with the mare optional....in a thread about fucking females and getting laid easily. Honestly not quiet sure what they were expecting there. His 2 stooges in shitposting are fucking around too. I am actually impressed they haven't been permabanned yet, though considering the mods cant tell the difference between Humanized pony and anthro.
>>
>>30289761
around* find
>>
Diapers. Bats. Anti-gay attitude. No wonder this thread is dead. Its an OC circlejerk at this point
>>
>>30289775
Gays produce nothing in their own threads, let alone this one, they don't do shit but beg for trash when they are in a different thread, and that's if they just don't try to shitpost and mislead a conversation.
There is only one bat to be had in this thread, not that an illiterate like you would know about, also its nice to see your off banning Mr. Screeching Anti-Bat autist, and this is an inclusive thread to all species. You don't like it then go back to Moth Pony, seeing as you keep screaming about Bats killing it with fruits and EEEEing or some shit.
And the diaper thing...honestly thought that was one of your guys. You taste is shit enough that the fuckers in trash might pity help you faggots, if on a twisted principle more so than anything else.
>No wonder this thread is dead
So, did whatever backwater thread you shitpo...I mean play in, get a new writefag? No? Didn't think so.
>Its an OC circlejerk at this point
Gonna have to be a bit more specific in this part of your shitpost m8, we got a drawfag and a LOT of mares drawn out, if you didn't look at our OP recently. Stay mad faggot, killing yourself is your only way out.
>>
>>30275437
Looks like I lied about not having any time until mid-week. Here, have some more "Everyday Life With Guardsmares" green.

> You are Specialist Sparkshower, and it is about to be your first shift of VIP duty.
> Time for a final check before you take up your post!
> Armour: Polished to a shine, and securely fitted without being uncomfortable.
> Helmet: Also polished to a shine and securely attached. Crest brush starched and firm.
> Hoof-spats: Present, shiny, and well-fitted.
> Wings: Preened.
> Tail: Brushed.
> Spear: In hoof.
> Everything is a go!
> With a deep breath, you reach up with your free hoof and firmly rap on the double doors to the Royal Engineer's chambers.
> "Come in."
> You push open the door into the Royal Engineer's chambers, and instinctively start to take in the details even as you introduce yourself.
"Specialist Sparkshower reporting for duty, Sir!"
> To your right, Anonymous is just getting up from where he was sitting at a dining table, wearing his suit pants and white shirt, with a napkin stuffed into his collar.
> In front of him is a plate with a half-eaten bagel. Beside it, a glass of water, and a stack of papers.
> The room is typical of the larger private chambers in the palace; in the right corner is the dining area with a table for six and a china cabinet.
> In front of you, just inside the doors, is a living area with an elegant sofa, three sitting chairs, a coffee table, and a buffet server on each side, partitioning the area off.
> To your left, an office or working area consists of a large bureau desk covered in papers and books, several wooden filing cabinets, a pair of glass-doored bookshelves full of books and scrolls, and a pair of smaller desks with writing chairs.
> "Oh, excellent. Welcome, Specialist."
>>
>>30289998
> You bow your head, still surveying the layout of the room.
> The left wall is all windows, with heavy blue patterned curtains. Prench doors behind the bureau lead out to a twenty-foot-deep that seems to go the whole way down; there's probably another set of doors further down.
> A short wall of decorated wooden partition pieces separates off what is obviously the sleeping area at the rear of the room, and a door on the right leads to the washroom.
> "... So, do you normally stand outside, or...?"
> You instantly recall your Very Important Pony bodyguard training.
"Sir! Typically, the bodyguards are posted inside the doors to a VIP's chambers, but may be dismissed outside as needed, such as for privacy."
> Anonymous seems to accept this, and sits back down.
> "I see. Well, by all means, take up your post in here. I'm just finishing breakfast."
> You nod and close the door behind you, then sit down in front of them. Meanwhile, Anonymous picks up a sheet of paper and continues to read it, munching on his bagel.
> Having taken the coarse details of the room, you start to examine the finer details.
> And what fine details they are! The classical luxury surrounding you is almost overwhelming.
> The carpet is a rich red with an elaborate floral pattern. The furniture is mahogany wood, upholstered in blue with white embroidered check. Table tops are all marble. A stately lighthouse clock dominates the far side of the sitting area. A number of gas lamps are neatly arranged on side-tables around the room, all with beautiful bulbous glass shades.
> Oh, and the ceiling. An elaborate trim around the edges serves as frame for a wonderful floral plaster pattern.
> You could get lost in that ceiling.
>>
>>30290003
> Still, it's all in keeping with the palace's general style. When you were accepted for VIP duty, you were received in the Marshal's palace chambers, and they were similarly decorated.
> But that was just for a few minutes! You get to be in this beautiful room for eight full hours!
> You don't get to sit on anything, sure, but just being in the presence of such opulence is exciting.
> And there are so many little details about everything to notice!
> Over in the dining area, the Royal Engineer stands up again, pulling his napkin off and placing it on the table, then gathering up some his papers.
> Without a second thought, he crosses the room to the office area and is just about to sit down at the great desk, before he looks up at you.
> "I'm afraid your shift today will be a bit dull, Specialist. I'm going to be working on this treatise all day, and I'm not expecting any visitors."
> This, too, was covered by the training.
"Not a problem, Sir. It's all part of the job. And I did volunteer for this position."
> Your charge seems to accept this answer, and sits down.
> He picks up one of his pen-quills, and is just about to dip it in the pot of ink, when he pauses and looks up at you again.
> "Did anything particular make you want volunteer for this work?"
> Okay, now you were getting a bit into uncharted territory. Training covered how to behave, but not how to answer personal questions. What should you say?
> Before you can figure how to answer, Anonymous shakes his head and dips his pen.
> "I apologize; that was a personal question and I shouldn't oblige you to answer it. Please forget I asked."
> Part of you is relieved, but another part of you sort of wishes that he didn't drop it.
> After all, conversation would pass the time. But you knew that it would be inappropriate to occupy your VIP's precious time.
>>
>>30290009
> It was nice of him to be a gentlecolt about it, though.
> You straighten your posture and lean your spear against your shoulder, adopting a pose you know you can comfortably keep for hours.
> You are still Specialist Sparkshower, you are more than halfway through your shift.
> Since Anonymous started working, the only noteworthy activity was one of the palace butlers, accompanied by a maid, arriving to clear away his breakfast.
> Otherwise, it was just the Royal Engineer reading, writing, shuffling papers, flipping pages and occasionally standing up to get another book or bundle of papers.
> Right now, your charge is standing and leaning over his desk, rearranging his documents.
> By his manner, you can tell he's looking for something.
> By the fact that he's scrabbling over the same areas again and again, you can tell he's getting frustrated at not finding it.
> Anonymous mutters half under his breath.
> "Where the devil did I put that book?"
> Instantly, you recall an hour ago, when Anonymous got up pour himself a glass of water from a carafe in the sitting area. He'd had a book in his hands, and he'd put it down on the coffee table, amidst a stack of sealed scrolls.
> You clear your throat.
"That book, Sir?"
> Anonymous looks up, and you point at the item in question.
> He strides over and picks it up, instantly flipping through it to a certain page.
> Satisfied, he looks up at you.
> "How did you know which one I was talking about?"
"It's the only book in the room not in case or on your desk, Sir."
> He turns and takes the measure of the area, as if verifying your statement, then faces you again, clutching the book.
> "Armoured Reconnaissance, wasn't it?"
> Your lips curl up into a smile
"Yes, Sir."
>>
>>30290015
> The Royal Engineer shakes the book in acknowledgement.
> "Sharp eyes. My thanks, Specialist Sparkshower."
> He heads back over to his desk and continues to work
> It's such a small thing, getting a compliment like that for so trivial a task, but inside you're swelling with pride.
> You volunteered for guard duty in order to get to know Canterlot society.
> You want a life in the Royal Guard, maybe even trying to become an officer, and that means dealing with the upper crust.
> Even your commanding officer thought it was a good idea for you, though he regretted missing out on your abilities while you were on this assignment.
> But if you can still put your talents to good use, even if it's just to help your VIP get their work done, that's all the better.
> Even though it's only been five hours, you feel like this posting is going to work out just fine.
>>
>>30289998
Sweet, fresh drop.
>>
>>30290024


> It's four o'clock in the afternoon. You are Specialist Glamerspear, and you are lookin' good.
> You'd deliberately taken the long route from your quarters to get downstairs, the better to show off.
> That's right, everypony! Take a good look, because *this* is no ordinary guardsmare!
> If your special Telekinetic Specialist helmet, or the lightweight high-mobility banded armour instead of heavy solid plate, or the absence of a physical spear (as if you'd need one!), or elegant skirt for cushioning you when had to sit or lie down to hit targets way up there didn't make it clear enough, you made sure that your tail was impeccably groomed and your mane peeked just down low enough under your helmet to tease the fantastic hair underneath.
> And, of course, one must show off the proper gait.
> No slow shambling walk or "I'm late for duty" gallop for you.
> Only the most prim and proper trot will do for showing off.
> And just in case that didn't seal the deal, you'd even kept your magical 'umbrella' shield up at maintenance-level power the whole way, too.
> Just as if you'd been in on alert.
> That's right, colts. This unicorn isn't just gorgeous and well-heeled, she's knows exactly how to use every part of her body.
> But you don't let your satisfaction show.
> You don't even let it show that you noticed anypony at all on your way here.
> Especially not that stud-muffin Captain Mailedhoof, with the handsome silver hair.
> He's married, but that didn't stop him from checking you out, from mane to hooves.
> Yeah, a few more trots by his post like that and he'll be extending an invitation to the Officers' Club.
> Just as a friendly way of getting to know a fresh face in the palace, of course.
>>
>>30290034
> That's what he'll tell everypony, anyways.
> And maybe you won't even do anything with him...
> After all, once you've gotten into the Officers' Club, then why settle for a Captain when you could find a salt-daddy Major or General with the means to really treat you right?
> Ah, the challenging life of an aggressive salt-baby.
> So many colts with sacks of bits burning holes in their pockets, looking for some fun to have on the side.
> So hard to choose which one make your new salt-lick.
> With thoughts of Captain Mailedhoof in your mind (even if he's not too rich, at least he looks like he can buck real good; he could be worth a few trips around the quarter-mile, at least), you knock on the door. It's time for work.
> "Who goes there?"
"Specialist Glamerspear, reporting for guard duty."
> Sparkshower opens the door for you, and you both salute and exchange the ritual greeting.
"By the glory of the Morning Dawn, I hereby relieve you at this post."
> "By the peace of the Evening Dusk, I stand relieved."
> She starts to leave, but you quickly lean over and whisper in her ear.
"Anything interesting happen?"
> "Oh, no. The Royal Engineer is busy with paperwork today."
> Over on your left, Anonymous doesn't so much as look up from his desk as you shut the door behind you.
> Oh, well. More time to plan your 'infiltration' of the Royal Guard Officers' Club.
> Heh. Soon, that won't be the only "O Club" you'll be visiting.
>>
>>30290040
> You are still Specialist Glamerspear, and it's almost eight o'clock in the evening. Four hours to go until shift end.
> Outside, it's drizzling rain.
> The Royal Engineer has been working at his desk this entire time, like some kind of machine.
> Well, isn't that the idea, from what you've heard? He's supposed to know about all machines and such, right?
> It would be interesting if it weren't so boring.
> To your left, Anonymous leans back in his chair and stretches his arms above his head, yawning.
> Looks like he's putting away his quill for tonight. Part of you hopes that he's got dinner plans with someone important.
> But from the looks of things, that's not likely. He's already removed his jacket and started to undo his tie.
> He turns toward the window and scowls.
> "Damn, when did it start to rain?"
> You're not sure if that was directed at you, but then again, there's nobody else in the room.
"It started about an hour ago, Sir."
> "Oh, did it? Drat. I was hoping to take a constitutional outside."
> So? Get an umbrella? It's only drizzling.
> Some Royal Engineer he is, if he can't handle some water.
> "Well, I suppose a little rain won't hurt."
> He starts to unbutton his shirt, and walks over to the zig-zag hairpin-joint in the partition wall, entering the bedroom area.
> "You won't mind getting wet, will you, Specialist Glamerspear?"
> Heh. As if *you* allow yourself to get wet in rain.
> Magical anti-missile shields: Necessary when angry griffons are hurling spears down like rain, but also useful against the regular, watery kind.
"I don't get wet in the rain, Sir."
>>
>>30290043
> Anonymous reappears, but he's dressed in just... his white undershirt and undershorts?
> His arms and legs are completely exposed, and they're almost completely bare of fur, just like his face. Freaky!
> He's sporting some fancy sneakers though.
> Still, you CAN NOT be seen walking through Canterlot Palace with someone dressed like THAT, no matter WHO appointed them to WHAT.
> The Royal Engineer regards you with a quizzical look.
> "Would you care to explain that, Specialist? I'm not sure I understand."
> As if it was the most trivial thing in Equestria (newsflash: it was, because you're the best at this), you instantly summon up your anti-missile shield, in the form of a translucent magenta hemisphere stretching from your horn to just an inch above the ground.
> "Ah, yes, of course. Unicorn magic."
> He walks over and picks up his glass of water, and with a swift jerk of his hand, sends the contents flying at you.
> Of course, it splashes harmlessly against your shield.
> "I don't suppose you can make that large enough for two, can you?"
> Hah. That sounded like a cheesy come-on line you've heard before.
"Sir, this soldier can indefinitely maintain an impenetrable shield over an area twenty-five metres in diameter."
> He looks impressed.
>>
>>30290051
> Well, he should be! Most of the unicorns the air-defence company can only manage half that.
> "Impressive. If you'll oblige me, I think that'll be more than enough. Let's head out through the balcony, into the gardens."
> Oh, thank Celestia you don't have to escort him through the palace halls dressed like that.
> If Captain Mailedhoof was still on duty (unlikely, admittedly), being seen with a gangly bipedal monkey-creature wearing silly white undergarments would have completely scuttled your "O Club" operation.
> Nobody else is likely to be out in the gardens at this time of evening, and in this weather, so your VIP can get his little walk in, and you won't even have to be seen with him.
> Still, if this is going to be a regular occurrence, maybe you should see about trading shifts with Sparkshower.
> After all, why take chances?
>>
>>30290058
This concludes tonight's greentext dump for "Everyday Life with Guardsmares". Pastebin updated: https://pastebin.com/RHkvDaAw

As before, feedback is almost disgustingly appreciated.
>>
>>30289998
>TheManFromAnotherTime found time.

What did he mean by this?
>>
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>>30290070
keep up the good work private
>>
>>30290070
another fine update.
Sound like a pretty boring job. Though i'll be interesting to see if there's a fight over who gets to accompany anon to fancy get togethers

> So hard to choose which one make your new salt-lick.

L-lewd. Also forgot the "to"
>>
>>30287469
Nah, YooHoo. It is far from the worst. I've come to enjoy it quite a bit.

As I've mentioned awhile back; each of the on-going greens satisfies a different yearning for me. Now a new green has started and I'm eager to see what's in store for us there.

>>30290070
Thanks for the update tMfAT. Good scene setting though maybe a little to detail heavy (unless it's needed for setting something up in the near future). Good character development. Of course Glam is some kind of bit-digging attention whorse. I look forward to the next update.
>>
>>30289775
Sad!
>>
>>30289761
>He posted a literal cuck story as a argument to have MMF threesomes with the mare optional
>MMF threesome
>with a mare being optional
>I have no idea how MMF threesomes work
>The idea of two guys being in love with one mare is impossible for me to imagine
>They must want each other's dicks and nothing else!
>It's okay when it's two mares and one dude, but it's cuck shit if it's two dudes and one mare
Are you really this retarded?

>in a thread about fucking females and getting laid easily.
Wrong.
>>30288639
It's this. You screaming the opposite at everyone and that it's ONLY about mares and nothing else just shows how fucking new you are to that thread.

Do everyone a favor and stay in your own thread instead of starting shitstorms in the RGRE general with your extreme autism and fear of stallions.
>>
>>30292255
One, its not any of us calling out your faggotry bullshit over there, you retards are really just that bad, two, its not a "fear of stallions" that you are so desperate to cling too, its that you are actually dumb enough to think asking for gay/cuck/or gelding shit in what is essentially a straighter thread than ours, by results if nothing else. The fact you faggots cant figure out that you are that widely disliked is impressive in your ability to delude yourselves, a few of us do lurk, but we had no hand in responding to your shitposting. Its RGRE's turn dealing with you shitposters, and they are doing just fine. So if you queers stopped shitposting better threads than HHH and actually made your own content in the "active" thread you faggots have already, then no one would bother you except some dedicated shitposters YOU FAGGOTS pissed off. You're your own cancer. You faggots couldn't be more blatant in the shitposting you faggots started if you tried, and seeing as you idiots still try to blame us for your failings, its pretty obvious you didn't learn shit.
>>
>>30290009
>You get to be in this beautiful room for eight full hours!
>Training covered how to behave, but not how to answer personal questions.
kek I like that mare.

A pleasure to read, thank you, please do continue.

> So hard to choose which one make your new salt-lick.
inb4 Anon doesn't care or notice her at all. Not that she's wanted it or jealous or anything, baka.

I wanted to say that I need an additional visual descriptions when we switch between guardmares,
( >you are now Vannie, your bat eyes glows as you peek into the dark room before you)
but then I kinda got a hang of it. They are all different characters and races
and you are pretty good at capturing that, so everything is fine, keep up the good job I guess.
>>
>>30275383
>shock at being translated
transported*
>>
>>30280206
>>30280906
Hnnnng
>>
>>30292795
I think translated works.
>Anon was translated into a form that would work in magic cartoon horse land.
>>
>>30292835
That's not how it works, or can even be used in that context. That's retarded.
>>
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>>30290070
loving the contrast between Sparkshower and Glamerspear, keep up the good work
>>
>>30292835
Translated is when one form of communication is turned into another, it doesn't work in the way your describing. That is still transported.
>>
>>30292861
>It's only about communication.
But that's wrong.
>>
>>30292795
TMFAT here, on mobile without my trip. Yeah, my mistake. I'll correct it in the pastebin.
>>
haiku-less pg 9 bump as I'm late for a meeting. I'll owe ya'll one later.
>>
>>30293951
I'll hold you to it haiku-non.
Got a bit more but I think I'm gonna wait till the next thread to post it, take some time to clean it up.
>>
>>30289817
>they don't do shit but beg for trash when they are in a different thread,
The same could be said for just about everyone else who likes other things too. It's all about opinions as to what is and isn't trash.
Just like with every single other thing out there, like batponies and lesbian stuff and romance and all that, people are only trying to start conversations and have fun. The only one starting shit then are faggots like you who feels the need to screech and reee like a damn baby every single fucking time just because you are mentally incapable of ignoring things YOU don't like.

Homo isn't allowed here, that's a go figure. But in case you haven't noticed, the RGRE general has no such fucking rule. Now stop shitposting with everyone there.
>>
Woah now page 10.
>>
>>30295016
I see you haven't read through the thread, or you still don't know how to read, but none of us have done shit in RGRE. If your shitposting for your gay trash in the most straight an vanilla thread on the board means you somehow think they would accept you, then I can see your uncle fucked you in the ass a little too hard today.
>>
>ywn be the barrack's pet
>>
>>30297294
>but none of us have done shit in RGRE
>Implying
Lies won't save you from the archives.
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30159707/#30169470
>I'm gonna lurk in a thread I normally don't hang out in just to start shit with everyone who don't mind things I hate
>>
>>30297689
So one of you faggets learned a new trick huh? Good for you then. I'm sure your parents a proud of your new wave shitposting. You do realize that pretending to be on the side of a thread trying to get rid of you doesn't help right? Speaking of, why are you bringing this to us? You shitposting other threads have nothing to do with us, so don't get mad here when you and your stooges forget that and shitpost each other. Aint our fault your stupid.
>>
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>>30290091
Thanks!

>>30290855
> fight over who gets to accompany anon to fancy get togethers
What? I would never use such a hackneyed plot point! <tugs at collar nervously>

>>30291564
I should have made it more obvious in the text, but the idea is that all that detail-noticing is actually *Sparkshower* doing her Recon thing everywhere she goes. I'll change future wording, and it should also become clear once the POV starts to jump around more as well.

>>30292787
My goal is for the narrative voice of each of the characters to feel different so that even if you miss the
> You are now X
prompt or can't remember who X is, that the internal voice should make it obvious.

>>30292847
> contrast between _two_ characters.
Hold onto your butt because I'm gonna try to kick that up a couple of notches.
>>
>>30290015
>when Anonymous got up pour himself
up to*
>"It's the only book in the room not in case or on your desk, Sir."
in a* case
>>
>>30298216
Thanks, fixed those in the pastebin.

Was working on the next scene just now; it should be ready tomorrow.
>>
>>30298223
Sweet, Glamerspear sounds like a real bitch, I cant wait to see what you do with her.
>>
Goodnight new guardmares.
>>
>>30244129
>...

>You've never been to Careful's before, now that you think of it.
>Not unless the odd patrol in this part of town counts.
>An older stallion walks down the street with a torch on a pole, lighting the gaslamps alongside it.
>They glow vividly in the young night.
>Ponies here are certainly... well-to-do.
>You're hardly poor yourself, but... a guard, coming from such a background?
>That does not happen often.

>You go to the door and knock: twice, then a third time to make sure she hears.
>The curtain behind the display window flutters.
>Hoofsteps approach.
>The door opens.

>"Safe! Come in! Oh, brr, it's chilly. Come in. Fast. FAST!"
>You comply.

>Careful slams the door behind you and wraps you in a hug before you can even remove your coat.
>You're no pushover, physically, but Careful is in another league.
>You can feel her warmth and strength even through your winter padding.
>When she stops, you wish she had held on just slightly longer.
>"I wasn't expecting visitors yet! If I'd known earlier they were gonna let me go early, I would have... but... oh, well, never mind. I've made hot cocoa. Do you want some? Of course you do. Let me hang your... here we go."
>She hangs your coat, boops your nose with hers (you hope your blush doesn't show in the flickering light of the hearth), and half-trots, half-gallops toward her kitchen, in the opposite corner from...
>...wow.
>>
>>30299448
>Behind the curtain you noticed earlier, the corner is a fully-furnished jeweler's workshop, with several carpentry tools to boot.
>You recognize several of the very same tools and instruments you grew up with, helping your father to assemble locks and safes.
>A pristine silver pocket-watch lies finished upon a clear, square workspace.
>It ticks quietly. The sound is almost smoothe despite the regidity of the components that surely produce it.

>Hoofsteps again approach.
>Careful comes with a tray and two steaming mugs balanced on her back.
>"Come sit by the fire?"
>She gestures to the couch across the room, on front of the hearth.
>You spare it a glance, but you're not so ready to abandon the simple beauty of the corner of the house you've only just discovered.
>You gesture to the watch.
"Did you... make this?"
>She smiles.
>"Yeah. Just finished it an hour ago. I wind them up and make sure they're not off by comparing its time to a reference piece-"
"It's beautiful. You're... amazing."

>You've been transfixed with the piece, but you look at Careful long enough to see her let her mane sway as she smiles and breaks eye contact, pawing at the floor with one hoof.
>"Well, all I do is follow Papa's old designs... nothing to it, really..."
"May I watch you work some time?"
>"I'm done for the day, but... another time?"
"I'd love to."
>She grins.
>"Want your cocoa now?"
>You smile.
"Yes."
>>
can't wait for the 20 posts of lewd mare on mare grinding
>>
>>30299456
Welcome back. It's always nice to see birdhorse be adorable.
Careful's eagerness almost caught me off guard, and kinda worries me.
>>
>>30294880
Whiskey's pony words
Crossing Ts and dotting Is
More Solemn Rain Soon

>>30297859
>Sparkshower talent
Ah, ok. That makes sense now. Maybe wording it in the pastebin like...
>Your ever observant eye takes in the surroundings....
>details, details, details
>The mental picture of Sir Anon's room settles in you memory. No detail amiss. Heh, you weren't the best recon pony for nothing.

>Perspective Change spoonfeeding
I personally am not a fan of the "You are X" or "Be X" spoonfeeding. It breaks the immersion for me. I'd rather have have the character's voice and something like the following indicate the perspective change. Forgive me if my 'Military Speak' isn't right.
>~~***~~
>Armor. Check.
>Helmet. Check.
>Spear. Check.
"Corporal, I'm heading to post now!" You call over your shoulder as you head towards the door.
>"Have a good watch Specialist Sparkshower!" Honor's replies from somewhere in her room.
>You open the door and head out to Sir Anon's chambers ready for your first day of VIP Guard duty.
>>
>>30297859
>the internal voice should make it obvious
sure, not to mention unicorn magic
>>30299798
>not a fan of Perspective Change spoonfeeding

That's great but we have a t least 4 active characters in the green, and it will get confusing without it.
>>
>>30299456
>>30299456
CW! Good to see an update. Quality as always. Like >>30299668 I too am concerned for Careful. Will she be able to handle seeing Anon with his arm still in a sling? I'm hoping her doctor or nurse let her know Anon was ok before she left the hospital.

Beautiful Careful Watch
Adorkable Safety First
Friends reunited

>>30299847
>increasing cast of characters
Fair point. I figure it shouldn't be too confusing if the speaker is addressed within the first few lines though.
>>
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>>30299456
We must stabilize the thick mare.
>>
>>30217543
It's been a few days I think, but thank you!.
>>
>>30299456
>>30299448
...does careful know that anon's okay?
Aside from the cast i mean.
Like >>30299668 >>30299895 said, her mood's got me a bit unsettled.
>>
bump from 9
>>
>>30300543
Maybe give her something solid to sit on, maybe hold her up?
>>
There's a certain Pegasus that's not being shown.
>>
>>30302319
Soarin'?
>>
>>30302340
:(
>>
>>30302340
If you can guess it, then someone will come back.
>>
>>30302370
you can't bring back the dead
and feather is pretty ded
>>
>>30302400
DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!
>>
Sorry to be obnoxious. To those who felt a little uneasy reading the pastebin, I've posted the rewritten parts of the combat and aftermath.
>>
>>30299456
Yes, always good to have more Careful and Safety
>>
>17 left
>>
>>
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>>
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>10
>>
>9
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>6
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>3
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>1
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>0
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New thread >>30304311
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I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


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