RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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We are ALL RGRE on this blessed day :')

Why are you making another thread.

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>Not Asian Anonymous

>making a second thread because muh OPic
Oh shit nigger what are you doing

>>29721720
The other rgre thread was shit thread made by an autist 15 posts too early

>>29721704
>Same image
Arent you tired? Wouldn't it be great to see your old members hype and make new ones?

>>29721725
Read this>>29721729

>It's Anon's birthday
>Being an alien from a different world/universe (and the only one of his kind to boot), Anon is a mild celebrity in Ponyville
>Pinkie throws him a party that brings in dozens of ponies, if they are available
>Some of his presents include recipes, useful knick knacks and gadgets, and the occasional coupon given by a business-owning party-goer
>Nearly half of the presents are sexy underwear designed to emphasize and show off one's package

>>29721784
>Ponies constantly harrass Anon for being fully clothed
>It's lewd and shit
>Teat twist - Anon ain't no fat fuck and has GOOD PHYSIQUE
>A lone pony once sneaks up on him while he is naked and sees everything
>she sees it all
>a rumour starts that Anon is'nt actually lewd.
>his chiseled body simply MUST be hidden, or mares can't contain themselves.

>>29721852
>Anon wakes up in the middle of the night
>There's a pony on his chest
>She broke into his house and is rubbing herself all over Anon
>It's a mix between lewds and cuddles
>"Scratch my back harder, Anon!"
>"Rub my eeaarrsss~"
>"B-boop my snootle, Anon, please! Do it, you snuggle-slut!"
>Cuddles up against him when he's done
>"A-And if you tell anypony what I did, I'll rub your face against my chest tuft!"

>>29721976
I'd keep her there and pop her cherry.
No one would ever believe her.

>>29722015
>You are Bon Bon, and you've come to realize that Anon here isn't your everyday case of regular ol' belly-rubbing lewdness.
>This is advanced lewdness.

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>>29722042
And I'd keep carrying her back home for more.

>>29722061
>Bon Bon tries to keep up the act of not liking Anon despite their frequent encounters

>"Oh, no! Anon, don't join me for a nice candlelit dinner! Oh gosh, I just don't know if I could handle it if you let me gaze into your eyes. Please, don't wear this necklace that has my cutie mark on it, that would just be the worst~"

>>29722081
>"Don't move in with me, Anon! You monster, I just hope you don't think to sleep in the same bed with me each night and hold me tight. Please, the last thing I want is to wake up and lose myself in those sleepy eyes of yours..."

In an effort to keep my word and clean out the terrible, horrible, not good, very bad WIP's from my pastebin I've brought an old friend back from the grave. It's a short addition and far from perfect, but it's a resolution. Hopefully you guys enjoy.

Gentlemare Caller
http://pastebin.com/8p495NXK

>Joking aside, you should probably keep your game up for the rest of the day.
>One canceled withdrawal probably isn't all that serious for a newcomer, but if you get any more you'll probably have reason to fear judgement of your competence.
>Well, there's only a few more minutes to go until you can split for lunch...
>What's the worst that could happen?
>Right?
>"We got another one, Anon. Get ready!" Wine says suddenly, gaining your attention.
>A strange feeling bubbles in your gut as the unanswered question lingers in your mind.
>As your companion plays with the jacks in his dashboard an alien emotion fills you, a faint dread that you can neither identify nor explain.
>Strange...
>The phone before you suddenly chirps to life, and the sound it makes is like requiem bells in your head, cold and ominous.
>Even the act of reaching out to claim it prickles the skin on your palm.
>Okay, now you're definitely just psyching yourself out.
>Equestria is a world of magic, but that doesn't mean you can tell the future; calls are random without an extension.
>If your desperation was going to awaken the dormant seer powers within you it probably would have done so when it actually mattered.
>That is, when you were working on your third day of foodlessness, not when you were sitting 'mostly' well fed in an office building.
>You're freaking yourself out over sitcom genre-savvy.
>You'll get another pent up cougar at WORST.
>You're probably just getting hungry.
>Lunch is right around the corner, just finish this up and you'll be free.
"Hello?" you say.
>"Slim?" the caller replies hurriedly, giving you pause as an ill-formed thought becomes clear in your head.
>Familiar name.

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>>29722081
>>29722093

>>29722097
>Coincidence?
>Maybe...
>Well ... you ARE in his room...
>Maybe the system is… defaulting calls trying to reach Slim's missing extension to it's last-routed location?
>Sloppy maybe, but not impossible.
>Not even particularly unlikely.
>This is a big Manehatten building; you have a LOT of co-workers.
>Getting two of his intendeds in such a short amount of time is unlikely.
>Hopefully Slim’s personal clientele is reasonably-sized…
“Sorry babe, slim is away right now. Gonna’ be for a while.” You explain apologetically.
>You ramp up the charm for the next part, hoping it’s enough to convince her to stick around like the other one.
“I’M here, though, and I wouldn’t dream of leaving a cute thing like you wanting and lonely. I’m up for trying new things if you are…” You coo seductively.
>”O-Ohh… I, um… I was really hoping for, um, it’s just… um…”
>Her volume drops so low and at such a consistent pace you almost think there’s something wrong with your phone.
>”Maybe I should call back later…” she mumbles timidly.
>She’s much more flighty and skittish than you expect, especially after how ‘in control’ Slim’s last dialer was.
>If you don’t act fast you’re going to lose her; another half-minute call to add to your roster of flubs.
“No fair.” You pout cutely, racing to try and find the right combination of words as you speak, “Slim left. He doesn’t deserve to keep the good ones all to himself. I can do anything he can do, but better. I’d love to give you the attention you need… can’t you stay? Just for a little while? I’d do… anything, anything to satisfy you... please? Let me take of you…” you murmur suggestively into the mic, desperately trying to channel the ‘girlfriend voice’ of yore, the one that could get you to eat GLASS through the power of mental warfare if it was utilized correctly.
>Your heart strums softly as she pauses to consider your plea.

>>29722105
>After several moments of tension her voice returns, mellow but subtly energized, “… Okay.”
“Mmm, I knew you’d make the right choice, baby.” You reply, turning a sly grin to your eye-rolling operator.
>”You will address me as Mistress Flutterbye you filthy worm!” she scolds suddenly, venomously.
>Holy shit, 1 to 11.
>In the less than a second the bashful voice on the other side moved to take charge of the conversation, like she was some sort of robot who just finished downloading the ‘confidence’ patch she so direly needed directly into her brain.
“Oh, of course Mistress Flutterbye…” you respond cautiously, her voice following quickly behind yours the moment you finish speaking.
>”Did I give you permission talk, worm?” she remarks with disgust, clicking her tongue, “It looks like I’m going to have to break you in before I break you. That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want me to break you like the little whore you are, right? You may speak; answer me.”
>Jesus…
>She’s like the Mayor times-… times a THOUSAND, with limited-edition nipple clamps included right in the box.
>Was Slim… was this the kind of mare Slim catered to?
>”I said answer me!” the caller repeats angrily, startling you out of your thoughts.
“Y-Yes! Um, I want, um…ahh—“ you sputter, racking your brain to try and remember exactly what she said in the midst of being grilled.
>She’d practically transformed you into who she WAS a moment ago.
>” ‘I’m a whore’.” She leads with gusto, “ ‘I’m trash, and I want you to break me in like the filthy animal I am. Please put me on the rack and teach me a lesson’.”
>You open your mouth to repeat her, more out of gun-shy than enjoyment, but have to stop short as her last sentence becomes clear.
“Th-… the ‘rack’?” you parrot anxiously.
>Like… like the dark-ages torture device?

>>29722114
>”That’s right, whore.” She says with an almost frightening level of pride, “I’ll lead you out back on a leash like the dog you are, strap you in nice and snug, and then we can REALLY start the fun…”
>So… so it IS the same thing here?
>W-wait…
>‘Out back?’
>Does she OWN one of these things?
>Holy shit, who IS this little horse!?
“F-Fun?” you whisper to yourself, cringing slightly when you realize you said it out loud.
>”Lots and lots of fun; perfect for a cunt-slut like you.” she replies vulgarly, clearly enjoying her choice of language.
>You can practically feel the lust her words are caked in slithering into your ear at this point.
>You can’t hear anything, but you wouldn’t be surprised if she’d already, erm, ‘started’.
>”Don’t worry, I’ll give you LOTS of time with the flog to teach you manners. If you learn your place in good time I might even reward you.”
>Reward.
>Okay… okay so…
>She’s a little rough, but that’s fine.
>She’s leading you to the sexy time, just go with it and ev—
>”Do you like scented candles? I hope you do. I BET you do. I’ll be pouring plenty of hot candle wax on your disgusting balls for being such a good toy.”
>SLIM WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH THIS CHICK WHAT THE FAAAAAACK
>IS THIS HOW YOU GET YOUR ROCKS OFF YOU PRISSY LITTLE GAY HORSE
“U-Uhm…” you sputter, your mind racing as you try to the words to placate her.
>They aren’t coming.
>At least with the others you could draw on your libido a little.
>You literally couldn’t be softer right now.
>Fuck, say… say SOMETHING.
“Uhhh—”
>SOMETHING
>ELSE
>You hear aggressive shuffling on the other end of the line, undoubtedly from the directionless quality of your last several replies.
>”Even dogs can speak on command! You’re lower than a dog!” she comments haughtily, pressing her lips right up against the receiver.

>>29722122
>”You’re lucky you aren’t hear right now! Oooo, you’re so lucky little mister! We would be up to FIVE SAFETY PINS by now!”
>You push all your strength into it.
>You try SO hard to stop it before it comes, but you can’t.
A single flabbergasted word escapes your lips, the intent of the word as clear as the way you speak it; “WHAT!?”
>A hand slaps down across your mouth, far, far too late to prevent the damage.
>The line goes as quiet as the countryside, your heart sinking as you trade looks with your confused operator and the wall in front of you.
>You can’t feel it much through the air conditioning, but your face has likely paled from the outburst your lack of composure just caused.
>Your lower lip is squeezed tightly between your teeth as the moment ahead of you draws on and on endlessly, and you’re sure you can hear the requiem bells again, each terrible thing chiming far away in the back of your mind.
>Your lip is released as you prepare to speak.
>Lead her back into it.
>Apologize.
>ANYTHING, but she beats you to the punch.
>”I… I knew it. I knew this wouldn’t work…” she says, her indoor voice returning.
“M-Mistress, I was only, uhh, surprised by your—“
>”You’re probably just-just – laughing at me right now!” she interrupts with an emotional voice crack, rounding off the statement with a loud sniffle, “Slim’s there, isn’t he? He just didn’t want to talk to me. That’s it, isn’t it?”
“N-No! Of course not! Listen, I’m – uhh, I’m new, alright?” you confess, trying to ease things over.
>Wine widens his eyes in understanding, peering back down at his work a moment later, presumably in an attempt to distance himself from the extra awkward tongue lashing you were about to receive.
>From an angry phone sex customer.

>>29722124
>”D-Don’t lie to me!” she says, miserably repelling your attempt to calm her before another loud sniffle, “I bet Slim’s standing right next to you laughing at me right now! W-Well, here’s something you can tell that-that… M-… MEAN PONY!”
>She yells the last part like profanity; honestly you were expecting worse.
>Still, judging from the large breath you hear her take in on the other side, you were probably about to get a LOT of that in the next few seconds.
>You twist your face and pull the phone away from your ear in preparation, but the only sound that comes through is as soft and as timid as a plush toy.
>And as damning as profanity anyways:
>”I-I’m… not… satisfied.” She whispers, the last word barely making it out of her before she slams the phone down on the receiver.
>You flinch from the change in volume from the line snapping dead next to her quiet voice, pressing your lips together in awe of your situation as you calmly, gently, place your own brickphone back down on its receiver.
>”So, uh…” Wine begins comfortingly, sparing you only a quick glance, “… customer unsatisfied?”
>A hand smooths out the wrinkles in your face as you lean back in your chair and take a deep breath.
“You think there’s any donuts left in the break room…?” you ask glumly, staring in the pock marks in the ceiling.
>A masculine chuckle from your operator follows as he pulls a stud from his board, plucks several switches needed to communicate that your room was out of service, and gets to his hooves.
>”Nope.”

geothermal

>>29722129
Alrighty, that's that. As usual I hope you guys enjoyed, and if you spot anything I missed spelling-wise and would do me the great service of saving the pastebin from my terrible grammar, I'd be most appreciative.

For the sake of convenience, here is the link to the finished paste.
http://pastebin.com/8p495NXK

>>29722100
Like this, only with romance and cuddles, and making whoever reads it feel like a lonely sack of shit.

>>29721704
So hardly any men, and the men have to do all the housework too? Count me out.

>>29722151
I am saying that it is good but I can not understand it

>>29722163
Bye, /homo horse/

>>29722165
Ahh, well, have you read the previous work this is continuing? Listed in >>29722097
? If not I could see cause for confusion. Otherwise I'm not too sure how I could make the next part 'more understandable' compared to the rest of the story.

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>>29722129
kek what the fuck

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>>29722114
>>”You will address me as Mistress Flutterbye you filthy worm!”

Wow, that's a heavy thing to lay on the new guy.
Slim seems to be trying to get Anon fired by getting extreme accounts shortly before this happened.
That's extreme fetish phone sex that shouldn't count against a newbie if they're subbing in for someone.

>>29722105
> Let me take of you…”
Let me take care of you

>>29722124
> Lucky you aren't hear right now
Here

>>29722151
That's all I can find spellingwise. Not enough else going on to really offer other feedback.

>>29722609
Hrrrm, that's an interesting take on things, actually.

>>29722668
Daaaaamn, the 'hear' one hurts especially.

Thanks for pointing those out. They're now fixed in the pastebin.

Quick one-piece I strung together:

1/2

> “Um… Anon?”
> Glancing over the rim of your book, you see Twilight fidgeting in place, looking nervously at the ground.
> “I-um, I have a question, and since you’re a stal- a good friend!” she corrects, “I’d really like your input on this.”
“Sure thing, Twilight. What’s up?”, you ask, sitting up from the hammock, and giving her your undivided attention.
> “Well, it’s um… about... It’s about…“ She begins, but quickly stops again, drawing circles in the ground with her left hoof.
> Her feathers on her wings ruffle in what could only be described as anxiety.
“What is it, Twi?”, you prod again, getting a bit nervous yourself at the prospect of what kind of question has the newest princess fumbling in place.
> Twilight draws in a deep breath, visibly steadying herself. She looks you in the eye.
> “Anon, ever since my ascendance, I’ve been wondering this question. I can’t find any mentions of it in any books, or scrolls. I’ve sent letters to Princess Celestia about this as well, but she hasn’t answered yet.”
> “I’m at the e-ends of my wits, Anonymous.”, She stammers.
> Now downright fearful of an unseen side effect of her new powers, you quickly kneel down in front of her, placing both your hands on her shoulders and look at her.
“Twilight, I want you to be clear with me here, what’s going on?”, you ask.
> “Anon… Anon, are my teats too big?”, she finishes, lips quivering.

>>29723087

2/2

> You open your mouth to answer, but before you can, Twilight rambles on.
> “Don’t stallions, um, guys, hate big teats?” She plops her butt on the ground, tears running down her face.
> “Sure, I expected some growths, my horn and height mainly, but nothing like this!” she rants.
“Twilight,”, you sigh, “Let me have a look at them”, you say, placing your hands beneath her front hooves, lifting her up.
> She whinnies, and squirms, but you hold steady.
> Now, you had been in Equstria for some time now, and you had seen your fair share of horse-bits, but nothing like this.
> Big, bountiful, perfectly shaped forms hanged from above her crotch. A soft dark-purple teat adorning each like a testament to the sheer excellence that was those knockers.
> Carefully, you prod one, feeling the gently give of this manifestation of matriarchal evolution.
> Despite their size, no imperfections were to be seen. No imbalances, twists or other physical defects smeared these godly globes.
> Momma-Non, your son is coming home.
“Twilight…”
> “I knooooow, they’re hideous. I-I’ll go into exile. An abomination like me is not fit to rule,” she sobs.
“Twilight…”
> “I’ll rescind immediately, Princess C-Celestia would understand, I’m su-...”
“Twilight, I would motorboat those puppies across the pacific and back again a happy man.”
> “H-Huh?”
And that’s how Twilight learned that Anon was a Titty-man.

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>>29723092
yess
Sweet, cute, and had teats. I'm satisfied.

>>29722114
>limited-edition nipple clamps
What do these even look like in comparison to regular nipple clamps?

>>29723333
Sparkly

>>29723333
>limited-edition
Well you only get them if you buy the boxed DVD set, but sometimes you can find them in thrift shops if they have too many at a retail store.

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>>29723092
Oh yes

>>29723371
>>29723385
Both of these made me chuckle, thank you.

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>"Anon, you have extremely high levels of a drug called 'salt' in your body. I don't know how it got there, and I'm not going to judge you, but I have to send you to the rehab clinic. They have a magical technique to vaporize all trace of it."

Remember that Rosetta Stone commercial where the farmer wants to learn Italian to be with some spaghetti girl?

Ponies speak Equish instead of English, right? Language is kinda the linchpin of this scenario.

>Anon meets a mare from another pony country (either by going there himself or by having the mare visit Ponyville)
>Mare speaks Prench/Itailian/Germane/whatever
>Mare is smitten with Anon and, in a gesture of both romance and practicality, makes it her mission to learn Equish so that she may try and woo him
>something something RGRE

>>29723566
Look at those eyes. What a pretty shade of blue.

>>29723566
>It's another 'Ponies are retarded again and they can't figure out that different species' have different requirements even though their planet is covered in other sentient species' episode.
No thanks. If you entire plot falls apart with the introduction of a single rational character it's shit

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>>29723602
>>Mare speaks Prench/Itailian/Germane/whatever

>>29723619
>>29723566
>Nurse Redheart doesn't even listen as Anon launches into an explanation about how his biology is different from a pony's
>This was her one chance to sneak away and "extract" something salty from Anon, but now it looks like your lunch break will be over before this human stops talking.

>>29723333
>>29723371
Rhinestones

I want yandere Milky Way to rape me

>>29723566

>Anon dies when they remove all the salt in his body
>That's how ponies learn humans naturally produce salt and need it to live.

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>>29723676
i want to teat torture milky

>>29723678
>Ponies finally learn to educate themselves on foreign biology before trying to interact with it in a significant way
>Anon is still fucking wormfood

Good end.

>>29723698
Enjoy your vacation.

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>>29723705
eat me

>>29723566
>"Quick, come into this broom closet with me. I'll extract a salty fluid with my mouth."
"Excu-"
>"There's no time!"

>>29723676
I want Milky to /ss/ me

>>29723566
>>29723646
>>29723751
>You have an alarming amount of salt in your system, Anon!
>I must use my mouth to extract as much as I can immediately!

>>29723698
>Milky will never licks your nipples

>>29723771
I want a picture of Redheart giving some sultry bedroom eyes with the word "extract" captioning it, all pixely and zoomed in

>tfw Amphetanon is fucking dead

>>29723890
For every thread that goes by where somebody does not mourn Amphetanon, I am disappointed. You're supposed to pay your respects for the dead, dammit.

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>>29723092
>So much tit love posting
>no mention of minotits
I'm honestly surprised

>>29723903
I choose to believe that female minotaurs have big fat udders instead of chest-tits.

>>29723913
That's gross, Anon. And highly impractical.

>>29723890
And?

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>>29723786
Ok

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>>29723941
Thanks Anon. You're the best.

>Anon is a character from a fanfiction
>Literally
>A standard magical catastrophe occurs, causing a character from Twilight's terrible fanfics to come to life
>He's so confused when opportunity and friendship don't fall into his lap like they did back home
>And the female attention he's been getting is much less innocent and fun than what he's used to

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>>29723959
>Anon
>Used to female attention

>>29723903
>>29723913
Why not both?

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>>29723676
I want to be Milky's pet

>>29723974
Anon from fanfiction is well-acquainted in female attention, when if it is pretty socially and biologically inaccurate.

>>29723959
>"Hey Twilight, what's up with this world? Why are ponies so cold?"
"What do you mean?"
>"Well, it's like, back home, friends came so easily. I met Incognito at work, we were best friends in like a week. My buddy Nameless, we struck up a conversation on a train and were friends ever since."
>"But when I try talking to the mares and colts at work, they never seem to respond the same way. And when I help somepony with directions, or help them carry something heavy, it's like we don't bond at all! Do you know what's going on around here?"

>>29723959
>Twilight has to deal with Anon constantly going off on ill-fated adventures
>She really wishes she'd stuck with slice-of-life stories

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>>29724208
tfw i never realized i have protagonist level friend-making powers, despite being able to make friends with almost anyone in about one day
time to spike my hair and get a herd

>>29723959
>>He's so confused when opportunity and friendship don't fall into his lap like they did back home

>Anon is dumped into the land of magic and friendship
>Has a harder time making friends

>>29723959
That idea is really bad when put under an even moderate amount of scrutiny.

>Anon in RGRE
>Anon don't want to fuck no horses
>Ponies desire him for being innocent and pure

>>29724456
I like the idea of ponies misinterpreting Anon's actions as being really innocent.

>>29724338
>>29724348
Now that you mention it, it does sound really retarded.

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>>29721704
Why this fucking shitty thread is still a thing?
OP is a faggot for making this pointless thread
DELETE THIS

>>29724649
Didn't you just get done bitching at the >IT HURTS thread? Piss off, if your shitty fetish thread died, it deserved it, so don't get pissy at your betters. So go fuck yourself on the doorknob on your way out.

>>29724649
k

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>>29724649

>>29724680
>So go fuck yourself on the doorknob on your way out.
He can go what?

>>29724680
This is a trainwreck of autistic rage.
>don't get pissy at your betters
oh my god

>>29724868
Insert doorknob in butthurt rectum, walk out until you feel a pop.

>>29724898
What's that kettle, your looking for pot? Sorry, haven't seen him.

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>>29724921
>>29724929
...what?

>>29724948
Leave him be, Anon.

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i wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war
i want a good steed under me like my forefathers before
i want a mount where the bugle shouts and hear the cannons roar
i wanna be in the cavalry if they send me off to war

>>29724590
Anon actively ignores thirsty mares pick-up lines and various innuendo. Mares begin thinking that he's far too pure, White Knight squad in route.

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>>29725010
I don't want to be a soldier
I don't want to go to war
I'd rather hang around Piccafilly Underground
And living on the earnings of a high class stallion
I don't want a bullet up my ponut
I don't want my tiddies blown away
I'd rather be in Cloudsdale
In very merry Cloudsdale
And procreate my ruttin life away

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>>29725304
I'd take her away for a life of procreating.

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>>29725362
I want to impregnate this horse

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>>29725415
Me too, Anon. Me too.

Many times.

>Be anon sitting at your computer
>You are enjoying your rpg
>Character you made yourself
>You chose the stats
>You chose the weapons
>None of this 'your class cant use this item' shit
>You wanted to make a wizard who used a sword as a wand
>Who's catch phrase was 'what are you a faggot' when he saw other wizards in robes while he was clad in plate armor decorated in bones of his greatest kills
>You spend the last 5 hours power gaming the system
>Maxing stats, then drinking potions that pushed you well beyond the max
>You are going to drink a 5 second lasting potion the moment you are 1 handing your two handed sword at an enemy that will boost all stats to an asinine degree
>Your computer, try as she will, is shitting the bed with all the stats you are tossing at it.
>You swing your sword
>You finish the potion,
>Just as you hit the enemy, the screen goes black
>There is a loud crack
>It takes all of 2 seconds for you to realize what happened
>She done gave up the ghost
"YOU USELESS FUCKING CUNT, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU MATH RIGHT"
>You were so busy unplugging The Dream that you never noticed the blue ball erupt from it.


>Be twilight sparkle
>You have been awake for the last 3 days trying to figure out this equation
>It should pull in the single great source of knowledge in the universe or at least open up a portal to it.
>You Think you have it right
>No time like the present, you begin casting it, and nothing
>Buck, there goes that theory
>You turn around to look at your work
>You notice a blue light
>For the briefest moment you get excited
>"YOU USELESS FUCKING CUNT, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU MATH RIGHT"
>Upon hearing that you stumble, smash your horn on the way down, and are out cold


God damnit I love thinking of horrible ways for anon to pop into equestria

>>29725442
kek

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>>29723092
ARE YOUR PARENTS PROUD OF YOU YET?

DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW YOU WRITE THIS SHIT?


jk nice writing loved the ending, wasn't generic at all, infact the way you write gives it some personality, which is lacking a lot. Two ponies fuck or become friends. No, I WOULD MOTERBOARD THOSE PUPPIES ACROSS THE PACIFIC

nice.

>>29725796
No, my parents are not proud of me. They want me to get married and have children, but I know it's impossible when my waifu doesn't exist.

Feels bad man.

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>>29725826
That feel.

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>>29725796
>>29725826
>>29725836
How would your parents feel if you brought home a horse as your girlfriend? What about a horse princess? A horse princess that treats you like you're the woman at that?

>>29725853
they'd be convinced that it's bestiality and probably disown me. they'd also be sore about no possibility of grandchildren from me, but i already have a twin brother who has kids, so there really isn't any reason for me to have them at least that's what i keep telling myself
i'd still keep her, though. if they don't want me to experience true happiness they can fuck off.
my siblings would probably be weirded out by it, but i've always been the strange one.

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>>29725867
>they'd be convinced that it's bestiality and probably disown me.
You mean until she speaks to them in fluent English with a voice sounding like honey, right?

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>>29725889
nope. to them, fucking anything that isn't human is bestiality, so that label includes aliens, ponies, and even virtual women, when the tech comes around. which is honestly the best hope for me to meet my waifu.

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>>29725936
I'm pretty sure Celestia would be pretty annoyed at being compared to an animal.

If I ever fell into Equestria I think I would really hit it off with the local fillies and colts. I consider myself pretty good with kids

>>29725853
absolute disappointment
either arrested or sent to the mental hospital

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>>29725796

>>29725979
She walks like a horse, smells like a horse, can whinny and neigh like a horse, and has a horse's diet. She also has sopping, gooey horse vagoo, so she is nothing but a pretty stall animal.
Also, if she came to our world, and didn't biologically collapse, her horn would be useless as physics don't bend so easily here.

>>29725979
>"Okay. Mom? Dad? Celestia here has the raw magical power to move a star and has the love and admiration of hundreds of thousands of her kind. She also has an equally-powerful sister who is awake right now in a housecoat and with rollers in her mane, waiting to see how this meeting is going. Maybe don't piss off the closest thing to real, actual goddesses you'll ever see."

>>29726129
>Bringing back a horse
>Bringing back a pony
This would be like if I brought YOU to see my parents and they asked me why I brought a particularly unattractive monkey home with me.

>>29726129
>Plot Twist
>Pony magic still works on Erf

>8
n8 gr8 m8

>>29726181
>Plot twist
>Erf is just future Equestria
>Anonpone is driving along the beach on her automocart.
>Comes across something unexpected and stops.
>"Oh my Celestia."
>"I'm back."
>"I'm home."
>Anonpone steps out of her buggy onto the moist beach sand to get a clearer view.
>She has to be sure of what she's looking at.
>She walks closer.
>"All that time it was..."
>It's what it looked like. It's not an illusion.
>"You maniacs! You blew it up!"
>It's the ruins of Princess Twilight's Seaside Summer Fun Beachside Castle Playset, which has clearly been abandoned for many years.
>It's unmistakeable. The towering skeleton of the statue of Twilight is holding aloft what's left of its lighthouse scepter.
>"Celestia damn you!"
>Anonpone collapses to the ground in anguish.
>She knows now that her whole world is gone.
>She can never go back.
>Trapped forever in this backwards world of talking monkeys. A mockery of everything she knew.
>"Celestia damn you to Tartarus!"

>>29725442
Keep going.

>>29723092
Short but okay.

>>29722129
I am amused.

>>29726667
I'm not interested in RGRE anymore

>>29726751
>Hasn't posted anything for months
No shit, your dead, we get it. We have other writefags that actually provide content for the thread, not the ones in Discord obviously, but besides the point.

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>>29725423
>>29725415
>>29725362
>>29725304

>tfw you will never save Fluttershy from a wartime draft by pumping her full of foals

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>>29724649
you can't make us stop having fun faggot

>>29726804
>that pic
Now I have the cravings for green where Anon plays with energetic ponies.

>"Chase me, sugarcube!"

>You are anon
>You are in the party of twilight and friends
>You were suppose to have some fun in old ruins
>Turns out the person who pissed in everyone's cornflakes is there.
>First time seeing her, not nearly as scary as you have been lead to believe
>"Your reign of terror will end now chrysalis"
>You are a bit new to this world, not being able to see the super villain showdowns...
>This should be good
>However all this is put on hold the moment that chrysalis hisses and sticks her tough out to do so.
"WHOH whoh whoh whoh whoh whoh whoh, hold the up.
>Everyone kind of stops and looks at you.
"Can you stick your tongue out like that again?"
>Everyone seems confused, but everyone is shocked enough to humor you
>The bug butt probably more so that you are male and don't have fear.
>Her tongue comes out
>Its slimey, you see strands of thick saliva string form one section to another
"Wow, ok... One more thing. How prehensile is it? how much control do you have?"
>Like clockwork she goes about showing you her dexterity buy spelling out her name, by making it longer and thinner
"You are able to change size and shape of it along with control?"
>Its seems like she is having fun putting on a show, with her wavy tongue now cycling shape, size along with showing off control at once.
"How in the actual fuck are you love starved?"
>She is taken aback by the question not quite knowing
>"But anon she is a monster"
>You just look up at rainbow dash...
"Bitch, your mail has fallen down to my house more then once. wonderbolts vs timberwolves ring any bells?"
>And the wings got stiff
>Rainbow earth pony mode engage
>"Its not natural"
"Apul, I twisted my arm a few weeks back and was in the room next to you, what did they shout at you 'how many times does an apple need to get stuck for you to learn?"
>Rarity seems to be thinking along the same lines as you, but flutters looks left out

"And flutterbutt, I have seen what you DRAW, you really need to inform your friends what that tongue can do"
>Everyone looks over at 'notfluttershy'
>She cant shrink anymore even if she had magic
>So you look back toward buggy over there
"So, and I don't do this for just any mare, want to be my wife?"
>And everyone is silent, only applefucker and chrystalis know you aren't joking right away.
>After twiggles realizes you aren't joking
>"But you were suppose to be my husbondo"
>Immediately reeling back because she said something cringey out loud, you nod.
"Correction, chrysalis, want to join a herd?"

>You look down at the kids
"And that is how your mom and I met"
>One of applejacks kids looks through an albume
"Why is mama bug bottom's mouth on mama apples bottom"
>The kids are a bit young, but they all look at you wanting
"Old habits die hard, some cramping, and being literally tongue tied, or as I like to call it, the most humiliating moment of chrysalises life"
>You get ready for a long one
"It all happened when applejack came back from the doctor yet again..."

>>29726909
>>29726907
link it together.

>>29726800
To be honest...
>On Monday you'll never rub her ankle
>Tuesday you'll never touch her knee
>On Wednesday I confess you'll never stroke her
>On Thursday you won't see it (cor blimey)
>Friday you won't put your hand upon it
>On Saturday she won't give your balls a
>And on Sunday after supper, you'll never ram it up her
>And you'll never become her toy when shes in heat

To elaborate, old British Tommy marching song from WW1. Couple of different versions, such as this from some drunken hillbilly fighter pilots- https://youtu.be/7D0JnH_rs5c

>>29727152
Somehow 4chan ate 2 words at the worst places...
>On Wednesday I confess you'll never stroke her chest
>On Saturday she won't give your balls a tweak

Fuck my life

>>29726751
Sad to see you go.
Love to watch you leave.

>>29727165
How did you manage to mess up that bad?

>>29727176
You have too much faith in the average 4chan poster.

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>>29727201
Average 4chan poster can fuck shit up when it suits them

>>29726800

Actually this sounds like it could make a good prompt

>the conflict between ponies and changelings has escalated into full-on War
>the first war Equestria has fought in over 200 years
>none of that silly marshmallow war stuff either, ponies are actually dying
>ponies are too used to peacetime, and changeling stealth abilities mean the war basically being fought from within Equestria
>changeling paranoia spreads throughout the land
>the Royal Guard is mostly ceremonial eye candy, so Equestria hasn't had a proper army in centuries
>most mares don't want to sign up, so Celestia is forced to institute a draft
>the only way out of the draft without leaving the country is for a mare to be pregnant when her name is called
>Equestria experiences a population boom as draft dodgers hurry to get pregnant
>Anon's female horse friends beg him to knock them up so they don't have to fight

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>>29726907
>>29726909
CAPTCHA: Apple Gardens
guess we're fertilizing jack after chryssy tonguehugs

>>29727566
>Anon "accidentally" impregnates Chrysalis after a series of outlandish convoluted bullshit.
>Celestia declares the new cluster of eggs/children citizens of Equestria as a reason to stop war.
>Celly goes Super Saiyan just to quell naysayers.
>Celly and Anon planned it.
>Operation Fug the Bug complete. Now commencing operation include bug butt into the royal herd.

>>29727722

But I wanted the pone version of Vietnam

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>>29727722
Changeling queens make the best waifus, if thoroughly bred.

>>29727722
"Fug Bug" sounds like a sport you play

Anon become aware that he's a character in a greenfic. Through mystical horsefucker magic he breaks free of his bonds and wanders throughout the cosmos, inserting himself into other people's pony fanfiction in the quest for horse poon.

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>gender equality
>paying colts the same as mares
>letting colts own property
>not even forcing them to wear barbed chastity belts when you're not at home
Fuck stallionism. Do you want another King Sombra?

>>29727794
>Nam
So uh. Anon channels his inner vietcong and launches guerrilla warfare on both sides?
by "warfare" I mean dozens of missing squads on both sides are found hours later creampied. The "unlucky" ones return to their respective camps with a baby bump a few weeks later?

>>29727870

Twilight, get off the ponynet. You're just mad because you're a bitter virgin.

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>>29727943
Piss off. Do you know what stallionism looks like? Were you in the Crystal Empire? Sombra's corruption forced my son to risk his life grabbing the Crystal Heart when mares were right there, fully capable of doing it for him!

>>29727870
>>29727883
>Crystal war timeline
>Just when it seems Sombra might win large swathes of his army start disappearing
>Specifically the mares
>Sombra is baffled
>He thought that the magical helmet he forced his army to wear gave hi complete control over their actions. Desertion is impossible
>He doesn't know about the divine power of the hot monkey dick
>Anon literally fucks his army into exhaustion

>>29727988

Is this about how Time Turner turned you down when you tried to ask him out earlier today?

The whole town could hear you crying in your castle for hours.

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>>29728016
Time Turner's a part of it. The conspiracy to destroy Equestria. As princess, it's my duty to fight back! Ziggers, stallionists, cuckqueens, they'll all be sorry, and so will you!

>>29728070

Look, Twi if you're really desperate to get laid just hire a hooker.

Don't drag the entire country into your lack of a sex life.

>>29727943

Stallions need to raped back into their place, prove me wrong.

>>29728175
>>29728121
>>29728070
>>29727943
>>29727988
stop

>>29727418
Wait, what? Did they capture that dipshits flag AGAIN?

>>29728234
not yet. season 4 just started, and this time it's in bongland under heavy surveillance

>>29728175

I dare you to say that in public at a stallionist's rally.

You don't have the ovaries for it.

>>29728245
Pretty sure the police took it down, after one of /pol/'s guys scaled a fucking wall and climbed the flagpole to get it only to find it bolted on with zipties.

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>Twilight writes stories and submits them onto the magical internet for ponies to read
>Finds someone to proofread for her (she's pretty bad at writing)
>That somebody is Anon
>Twilight naturally assumes he's a mare (there are no colts on the magical internet)
>Anon casually corrects Twilight on her poorly-written sex scenes
>"That's not how testicles work"
>"I'm pretty sure stallions don't cum a whole litre each time"
>"No, semen won't taste like your favourite fruit drink. No, I cannot confirm that. Stop calling me a dyke, Twilight."
>Decide to meet up in public at some kind of function
>Twilight's face when she realizes that she's been submitting written porn to a male this entire time

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>There's a pony equivalent to Curves
>Anon gets a membership thinking it's just some weight loss program
>It's actually a full-on gym filled with hardcore weightlifters
>It's the only time most stallions are completely away from mares, so they use weightlifting to work out their anger

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>>29728346
someone do it.

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>>29723959
>>29724611
Maybe it would be better if he was confused with how different the real world is and reveals parts of her fanfiction to everyone.

>Hey Twi, did you gain weight?
>Where are all of your oiled up coltservants?
>When I called Rarity and Fluttershy a lovely couple, they gave me the weirdest look! What's up with that?

Or you can have him interact with the colts in town and clash with how he was created to be obsessed with Twilight and please her and them trying to get him to be more independent.

>"What do you like to do, Anon?"
"Whatever Twilight likes to do, of course!"
>"Oh...well, what does Twilight likes to do?"
"Fucking."

>>29728346
The autist inside me is feverishly working on a way for a magical internet to actually work

>>29728542
replace all tech with purple look a likes that have glowing magic crystals instead of computers.

>>29725362
>>29725415
>>29725423
>Talks about war.
>Turns into a conversation about impregnating Fluttershy.

>>29728593
Its a pretty natural conclusion if I'm honest.

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>>29728593
nothin wrong with a little lovin

>>29728593
the presence of death tends to make people think about procreating.

>>29728593
>>29728605
Why are y'all so baby crazy

veronica

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>>29728610
Why not? Why aren't you?

>>29728610
Gotta replace the dead somehow.

>>29728573
Maybe they transmit information along leylines? I've also worked out a means of input as a replacement for keyboards

>>29721704
http://pastebin.com/036Q8qfC Allo all let's get those dice rolling!

>”Anon, Anon get up!”
>Groaning you crack open your eyes only to shield them from the bright sunlight that obscures the pony above you.
>”Sugarcube, I really need you up.” Something bites into the neck of your clothes yanking you up by your lapels.
>Coughing you rub at your eyes as Applejack’s face soon comes into view as she rubs your back.
>”Easy there colt. Catch your breath.”
>As you cough you slowly look around yourself trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
>You and Applejack are both sitting in a meadow with willowy trees that sway in the wind.
”Where the hell are we?”
>”I don’t rightly know Sugarcube, but I do know that the others aren’t with us, so we best gear up, find our friends and figure out what happened.”
>Nodding to your friend you stand up stretching in the wind when you hear a low clattering from over the hill.
>Applejack and you both crouch down before moving towards the hill.
>Over the hill you both pause staring at the creature before you.
>What in the fuck…
>Standing on two hind legs is a mechanical creature made of wires, metal plates and glowing lenses
>it moves it’s head back and forth before a low chirp comes from it.
>Sharing a look with Applejack she is just as lost as you before you hear it digs into the ground and large jaws open up as it tears into the dirt.
“What is it doing?”
>”Digging for food looks like.” Applejack replied holding her onto her axe tightly.
“Think we can take it?”
>Applejack takes a moment to look around the metal golem before nodding, “Yeah I think we can, but it’ll be best if we try to take it by surprise.”
“Hey if nothing else, I can heal you back up right?”
>More of the confident mare you remember shines through to you as Applejack flashes you a grin, “Ya know it!”
>At that Applejack picks up a rock and toss it near the beast.

>>29728635

>You stare at the crazy mare before she holds a hoof to her mouth and moves closer in the thick grass.
>Fuck, wait!
>The beast is getting closer to you and you /know/ you’re nowhere near good enough to sneak!
>You take a step back.
>SNAP
>The beast perks up plates on it’s face lifting up as the lens turns red.
“Shit shit shit shit!”
>Scrambling back you hold your shield up to hide behind, the last thing you see is the hind legs racing down claws first.
>THWACK!
>The thud of a heavy body sliding in the dirt drags a peek from behind your shield.
>Standing atop the robotic animal Applejack yanks her axe from the neck of the beast white fluid flowing down the head of the axe.
“Next time, please warn me when you’re to use me for bait.”
>”Relax Sugarcube, I wouldn’t let the mean critter get ya.”
“It’s the principal of the thing dang it.”
>”Well ta make it up ta ya, I’ll let you have the loot from it.” Applejack said offering the corpse of the beast to you.
>Sticking your tongue out at her you kneel down beside it before running your hands along the sides of the machine.
>Lots of exposed wires, some loose plating that could be melted down or worn as is…
>When you reach into the undercarriage you hear something suddenly pop and out falls a square block with a strap on it.
“The hell?”

>>29728628
Scale it down to magic fidonet and you won't have to invent any
Just forward and copy lots of letters around via magical bullshit

>>29728639
>”What is it Sugarcube?”
“Some kind of device, don’t know what it does.”
>”Well only one way to find out?”
>You glance at Applejack with a raised eyebrow.
“Do you want me to get cursed?”
>”Well, no but it can’t be that terrible right? Come on it might be some amazing, you’ll never know unless you try it!” Applejack said looking earnestly at you.
“Fine, fine...let me just, whoa!”
>You jerk back in surprise as the block suddenly expands outwards with a light blue shield that feels solid to the touch as you hesitantly poke at it with your mace.
>”Well I’ll be, that looks like one of dem spells Twilight does back home!” Applejack said tapping her axe against the barrier.
>With each tap you notice a small counter on the box that hadn’t been there before slowly go down.
“Hey give it a swing.”
>”You sure Sugarcube? I can hit awfully hard.”
>Setting in a wide stance you nod to the mare bracing yourself.
>”Alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Applejack warned you before taking her axe and swinging with both hooves.
>A solid thud runs through the air and you slide back from the blow, yet the barrier held though you notice the numbers had drastically gone down.
“Ha! Knew it! This works like some kind of rechargeable shield!”
>”Awesome, that must be some kinda rare drop or something.” Applejack replied before hosterling her axe. “We’d best get a move on.”
“Right, where do you think would be the best place to go?”
>”East.” Applejack said walking away already making tracks.
>You hurry along after her walking beside Applejack, “What makes you say that?”
>An orange hoof points up to the sky and following you see what looks like smoke trails in the sky.
>”Where’s there's smoke there’s a fire and that means either a ruin or a village. Hopefully it’s the latter.”
“Huh, color me impressed.”

>>29728643
>Applejack preens in pride nonchalantly puffing up her chest tuft as she does so.
>”Well shucks just common sense is all.” Applejack said with a faint blush.
>Ruffling her mane you smile at her at the grumpy frown that crosses her face. Even when these ponies get mad they’re adorable.

Nearly done with another update, but I'm not done with the scene quite yet. Lemme know if there is anything you like or disliked!

>>29728653
Horizon: Zero dawn?

>>29728610

This thread is full of stallions. How else do you explain it?

inb4 'there are no colts on the ponynet'

>>29728610
Because, pony foals are cute and we all want one. Human babies are slobbering screeching monsters and are our only choice.

>>29728699
babies aren't THAT bad, only if you don't pay attention to them. With foals you have to contend with them trying to blow up your house because they can't contain their magic

>>29728750
Man, life's worst problems on the show are peanuts compared to life's worst problems in real life. Honest to god adult ponies can still learn lessons about friendship and solve their disagreements by trying to be more understanding. Your pony offspring will never yell at you that they hate you, and most of their issues can be solved with a hug.

>>29728696
>Colts
>On the internet
>I shiggy diggy on the moon

>>29728383
...LaP?

>>29728640
Maybe a little less primitive than that. We know that they can record and play back video too.

>>29728997
>1950's magical computer technology
>Tape reels made out of fabric with runes inscribed on them
>Punch cards only instead of punched out holes, it's tiny gems of various colours
>Anon is buried in magazines that brag about how powerful the computers are; "64 whole kilo-motes of RAM (Random Access Magic)!"

>>29728778
This. A pony foal is easy to raise. A baby you'll deal with their baby side then have to deal with the terrible twos. Then they'll get worse until they're a adult. Look at kids now a days.

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>>29729044
>Random Access Magic

>>29728593
RGRE is infested with pregfags. There's not a single topic they wouldn't derail to talk about their shit. You should be used to it at this point. Sadly, it's been like this for a long time now.

>>29728610
Because when RGRE slammed the door in the fetishfags' face, some of them had already gotten inside. They're also a special kind of cancer that has the habit of trying to hijack other threads. Most of the times they're ignored or told to fuck off, but sometimes they take root, like they did here.

>>29729171
rooooooo exit premises

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>>29729171

>When you herd with one pony, it's generally considered that you herd with all of her sisters/house-mates ala A Brother's Prices due to the scarcity of males
>Anon did not know this until he started getting pretty serious with one of the flower sisters

>>29729314
The flower sisters seem like they'd be really easy to get along with, on top of being really cute.

>>29729371
I'd cuddle them.

>Mares go underwear-hunting in Anon's house

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>>29729171
>impregnating your waifu is a fetish!
>having children with your waifu is a fetish!
>raising a family with your waifu(s) is a fetish!
>a happy and contented life is a fetish!
>only "will-they-won't-they" and sexual one-shots are allowed here!
>reeeeeeeeeeeee

>>29729707
Leave him alone, Anon. There's no arguing with him.

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>>29729171
Anon, plz.

>*Click*
>The door behind you closes with a light click as you attempt to sneak into your home.
>Shuffling past the doormat and into the entryway quietly, you take your hat off and place it at the top of the coat rack.
>Looks like you're getting better at sneaking.
>Hanging your coat on the rack you bend down to take off your boots.
"DADDY!"
"Omph-"
>You're tackled to the floor by your bright peach daughter. Who wraps her hooves around your chest; she peppers your face relentlessly with kisses.
>You laugh softly as she continues her endless assault.
>Grabbing her by the sides you begin to tickle her furiously.
>"D- dad please, hahahaha-"
>From deeper in the house you hear the heavenly voice of your beautiful wife.
>"Anonymous, are you home dear?"
>Her voice is silky and light as a cloud, perfect for loving whispers and sweet nothings.
>Picking up your daughter and placing her on your shoulders you step into the living room.
>"Yay, upsies!"
>Your nose is seduced the second you enter the living room. The delightful smell of a home cooked dinner waiting for you and the rest of the family to enjoy.
>Dash swoops over to hug your upper body when she sees you enter the room.
>"Home a little late today Anon, those mares at the office weren't hitting on you again were they? I swear I'll-"
>You cut her off with a deep kiss, pushing your tongue deep into her muzzle. Not to be outdone she uses the brute strength and size of her flat pony tongue to wrestle yours into submission.
>Disconnecting from her leaves a thin trail of saliva connecting your mouths.
>"Heh, nice try big guy."
>She moves her muzzle close to your ear and whispers into it.
>"But you know I'll always be on top~"
>Climbing down from your body, you can now spot the small foal lying nestled in Dashes wings, sleeping soundly still.

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>>29729739
>Walking over to the couch you sit next to the prone Fluttershy, lying on her back she feeds a different foal from each of her melon sized teats.
>"H- hey love."
>Pulling your daughter off of your shoulders, you place her on the ground and kiss her lightly on the muzzle.
>"Go set the table dear, we'll be there soon."
>She gives you a quick salute as she runs off to the dining room.
>Closing the distance between your and Fluttershys mouths you give her a similarly deep kiss as you did Dash. Her tongue is nowhere near as disobedient as Dashes however as she wraps yours into a tight embrace with it.
>You whisper to her lightly.
"You made dinner today?"
>She gives you a small shy smile and nods, her blush still encompassing most of her muzzle.
"Even while having to look after 3 foals, you're still thinking about everyone else."
>Kissing her on the nose you address her once more.
"That's why you're my alpha mare."
>The rest of the night is peaceful, you eat dinner with your family, enjoying the sweet sound of the phonograph as it plays into the night.
>Settling down into bed, or nest, more appropriately. Dash curls up on your crotch, laying her head on your belly as a pillow, her smallest foal still nuzzled into her wings.
>Fluttershy hugs your upper body tightly, her large mameries pressed firmly against your side. Her two youngest foals lying in a cot near the bed.
>She whispers quietly in her sleep, "I- I do, forever and ever~-"
>Sighing happily you quietly whisper to yourself.
"RGRE is infested with pregfags. There's not a single topic they wouldn't derail to talk about their shit. You should be used to it at this point. Sadly, it's been like this for a long time now. "

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>>29729750
if shitposts can get me greens this comfy, I'm tempted to join in on it.

>>29729750
I-I'm not crying, I j-just got something in my eye...

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>>29729750
first this gave me feels, then it made me kek, stop toying with my heart

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>>29729750
my dying shriveled soul

why do you do this to me

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>>29729750
I want it super bad.

>>29722129
i love it. please make more

What are the rules for joining a herd? Can you just name anyone to be a herdmate or is there some ceremony required? Do all the members of the herd have equal standing or is there a "head wife"?

>>29729707
Please. You use the same dumb excuse in every thread whenever someone tells you to take your fetish where it belongs.
>I-it's not a fetish! m-muh family!
While the only thing you ever focus on is going on an impregnating spree or Anon being some sort of gross breeding machine.
This >>29729739 is one of the exceptions that are few and far between, although this in particular was probably made in an attempt to spite me or something.

You can stop pretending, it's clear your fetish is here to stay. No one is going to kick you out, at least have the decency to call a spade a spade.
>reeeeeeeeeeeee
I already have your stuff filtered, for what is possible, and you may have noticed that I don't complain whenever you post your shit, to avoid pointless arguing. But by all means, call me a shitposter or a triggered autist and move on.

>>29730316
>I don't complain whenever you post your shit, to avoid pointless arguing.
No, but you do. You do constantly. This entire series of posts started when you complained about "pregfags". I mean jeez Anon, at least own up to it and call a spade a spade.

>>29730316
>Not wanting to go full Genghis Khan
But I agree. Maybe we could reign the baby making in a bit and only focus on impregnating our waifus.

>>29730293
A herd may consist of no more than seven mares.
A politician and a businessmare cannot be in the same herd, as it would be a conflict of interest, same as an employee and her boss.
The herd is headed by the herdwife. While everypony is entitled to speak their mind, final decisions always fall to her. The herdwife may only be removed by unanimous vote of the other mares.

>>29730316
what do you mean avoid pointless arguing? something like 80% of the huge thread-destroying arguments are started because retards like you REEEEEE at """"fetishes"""" that nobody but you cares about
>call me a shitposter or a triggered autist
you /are/.

>>29730293
Biggest teats means alpha mare.

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>>29730316
>tfw you write a shitpost story to piss off an anon and he doesn't even reeeeee at it.
I'll try harder next time senpai.

Seriously though Anon, are you the guy who gets angry every time someone writes something that is even slightly fetish related?
I don't like scat, mind-control or rape either, but shit stories will live or fall on their quality alone, there is no need to get angry at each one.

>>29730453
>Seriously though Anon, are you the guy who gets angry every time someone writes something that is even slightly fetish related?
I think he is. We've got the D-word guy, and maybe 2 nig-nogs who don't like anything that leans away from missionary sex in the dark (but NOT for the sake of procreation, because that's a quote fetish unquote) The fetish guy(s) might also be the D-word guy.

>>29730372
>No, but you do
No, I don't. Not a single time have I directly replied to one of you pregfags' greens or pictures telling you to fuck off or complaining about how disgusting it is just to stir up shit. This series of posts started when someone asked why you were all obsessed with your stuff. I gave him an answer, at least from my point of view.

>>29730416
>what do you mean avoid pointless arguing?
See above. You post your stuff every day, and I ignore you.
>you /are/.
k.

>>29730453
>are you the guy who gets angry every time someone writes something that is even slightly fetish related?
No. And other fetishes are not even remotely as consistent as preg stuff here. I wouldn't mind fetish content every once in a while, as long as they didn't try to fill every fucking thread with it like you do. It's like with glimmerposting: it's not obnoxious per se, it's obnoxious because wherever you look it's there.

Back to RGRE now?

>>29730604
Wait shit you type differently than the normal whiny anti-fetish guy. I fucked up.

>>29730415
The head wife used to be the end all be all until marriage reforms started rolling in. Likewise the stallion could not divorce or dissolve a herd by himself until recently. A stallion could have a marriage ceremony for each of his new wives if he so wishes but such a thing usually eats into expenses unless the herd is particularly wealthy.

>>29723698
Muh job

>>29723698
I want to go to a sports game and get drunk with a bunch of mares.

You know what we haven't seen much of? Herd politics.

What happens when one of the herdmares starts to make more bits than the alpha, or bears more foals than the other, or what if the current alpha isn't suited to.their responsibilities, and find themselves depending more and more on another herdmare.

Or mares that don't herd for love, but because they don't want to be alone anymore. What happens when the stallion is swept off his hooves by a group of mares, but finds that there are too many mares for him to handle.

I recognize some of the above could go to marital problems, but then again, conflict is necessary for all stories, even romantic and/or domestic ones.

>>29731345
>Mares getting Anon to judge their teats for the position of alpha
>Size, sagginess, firmness, nipple diameter/puffiness, raw milk production, etc

>>29730604
>This series of posts started when someone asked why you were all obsessed with your stuff. I gave him an answer, at least from my point of view.
Anon, I wasn't mad the posted how they would be happy if they could start a family with their wifu. I was just stating the fact Rgre is foal crazy.

New here, since when Preg is a fetish?

>>29723619
Sapient. Sentient means capable of using senses, whereas sapient indicates higher intelligence. If this ever confuses you, remember that while Senses are important, humans are homo Sapiens.

>>29723702
Anon's ghost haunts everyone involved forever, mildly annoying them and their descendants until he is brought back to the world of the living.

>>29731728
>mildly annoying

>mildy annoying with grave consequences
>to the point thing would go so chaotic that discord himself will look green with envy

>>29724649
Because our shitty thread is still better than the vast majority of the other threads. We're on /mlp/. All shiftiness is relative.

>>29731679
There are like 2 or 3 people in this thread who don't like fetishes of any kind and they're very loud about it. Waifu is in heat and acts aggressive with Anon? Femdom, fetishfags get out. Anon fingers his waifu and makes her squirm and beg for his cock? Maledom, fetishfags get out. Mind control where nothing remotely sexual happens? Mindcontrolfags get out and fap somewhere else. Comfy green where Anon starts a family? Pregfags ruining muh thread, fetishfags get out REEEEEEE

It's best to ignore him. He's easy to spot, too: he says shit like "get out and don't let the doorknob fuck you on the way out".

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>>29730604
>i decide what is and is not allowed in this thread
>LISTEN TO ME REEEE

>>29731741
>Ghost Anon slowly compiles a list.
>It's a list of every negative thing every pony he watches says about others.
>This goes on for a year straight.
>Gives the information to every news agency in Equestria, sans theirs, with the threat of revealing it if they don't print the story.
>He also gave the reporters every other reporter's file.

>Prince Scorpan was meant to be the heir to the throne of the Human Kingdom
>But after one or five too many drinks at a recent Gala and the series of poor and embarrassing decisions that followed, his inheritance was to go to one of his siblings instead
>In fact, his parents have arranged for him to marry Princess Luna of Equestria to help seal the deal on a treaty
>His only value now is as a gift
>Knowing Equestria's backwards views on gender, he would be little more than a concubine
>Not exactly a fitting end for his political ambitions
>As much as he wanted to just leave the Kingdom for a while and pop back in when his dear old Dad finally died to claim his throne, doing so would violate their treaty with Equestria
>The first of it's kind in nearly a thousand years
>As he ponders his difficult position, he looks out the window of his carriage and pauses
>That peasant looks sort of like him...
>A smile spreads across his face
>He probably wouldn't mind living like royalty for the rest of his life
>And knowing these unwashed plebians, he probably already fucks animals
>Yes this might just work

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>>29730604

>>29730604
>>Back to RGRE now?

>De-rail thread by crying about something posted that you don't like
>Ask for the thread to stop being de-railed
I cannot express in words how little I care about what you like or dislike.

>>29731768
Femdom in RGRE is maledom so it should wrap around to being OK again

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>>29731883

>>29731345
There's a lot of drama ripe for the picking in this.
From the silly to the serious.

Maybe a lot of 'modern' herd don't even have an alpha mare, that's only something old fashioned types do.

(Limey, being a traditionalist, would insist on it, and likely would insist that she be the alpha)

>>29722097
Closing a wip? Resolution? WHAT KINDA WRITEFAG ARE YOU?!? that'd not how it works! U abandon your greens, leaving them unfinished for all eternity.

>>29731679
Balloon bellies, as you's see over in /pregnancy/, is pretty fetishy, especially if it's bigger than the rest of her.

>>29731720
I thought sentient means they have a sense of self, like a dog or a lot of other animals.

>>29731728
>Anon can never be killed permanently
>He is eternal, like Discord
>Kill him, and he'll be back later
>How much later depends on how well you killed him, and how lazy he is
>Go full Rasputin on him, and it might take him a century to pull himself back together.
>But he'll always be back.

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>>29732350
Sapience is higher intelligence.
Sentience is self awareness.
Monkeys are sapient, put a red dot on a mirror reflecting them and they will try to get the red dot off themselves because it's not supposed to be there.
But they are not capable of higher thinking skills.

>>29732350
Sapience / Sentience depend mostly on who you are talking too, and how anthropocentric their view is.
"Self awareness" is a pretty vague concept in practice, so depending on what "test" you use to evaluate it you can exclude 3/4 of the human population or include certain plants species.

>>29732395
... whut ?
The mirror test is the one used most commonly to test for self-awareness.
Some monkeys, cetaceans and some birds pass it.

>>29732395
>>29732436
Sentience is being aware of their senses like sight, touch, smell, all of those.

Sapience is being able to look into a mirror and understand that it's you.

>>29729371
Only problem is you'll have to tend to their frequent panic attacks.

>>29732511
You know the prescribed cure for mare hysteria is right?
HMD in HMD

>>29732511
So frequent cuddle de-stressing times?

>Anon is a vaping, fedora wearing fat slob that runs with his arms behind him and says edgy things because he thinks it makes him cool like his trench coat, metal headband and fingerless gloves.
>mares stay away from him as he's the "fat ugly chick " in their world.
>his only friend is a grumpy donkey

>>29732572
>Fat slob
>Runs
You're losing me here

>>29732511
>Whenever something strange happens in Ponyville (so at least once a week), wherever you are, you'll find your mares running up and crowding around you in a panic.
>When you've managed to calm them down, they'll claim they we're surrounding you for your own protection.
>They needed to be between you and whatever /it/ was
>Who knows what dastardly dangers you might have suffered if they weren't around to protect you?
>Sometimes you think they've managed to convince themselves that it's true

>Then something truly out of the ordinary happens
>The Flower Sisters find their normally fearless stallion, who could face down a bunny stampede without flinching, shaking in terrror
>Now it's their turn to be brave

>>29732436

>The mirror test is the one used most commonly to test for self-awareness.
Some monkeys, cetaceans and some birds pass it.

Some "humans" are not pass it.

White Babies Recognize Themselves at 15 Months, Black Children Not Until 6 Years Or If They Were Raised In Some Backwater Tribe They Do Not Pass Them At All.

>>29732637
Let's not delve into uncensored anthropology or we will end up summoning /pol/fags.

>>29732647

>crickets start to play their song

>RGRE was /pol/fags all along.

>sad

>>29732637
How about you produce some credible proof for that friendo

>>29732647
>end up summoning /pol/fags.

the center fucking pillar of this thread is driven by the same motivation that drives /pol/

we, anons, are rejected in reality, and we see our cultures dying,
RGRE imagines a reality where we are not shat upon, where we imagine we are loved and wanted, to escape
/pol/ rages at the actual reality, where we are not loved or wanted

we ARE /pol/

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>>29732647
>>29732670
>>29732674
we are everywhere.

>>29732673
google works, friendo.

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>>29732674
it was actually surprising to see pic related pop up in their threads, on their own board.

she'd make a perfect comedic antagonist to Anon, trying unsuccessfully to rid ponyville of the xeno, each failure compounding her embarrassment and frustrated arousal.

>>29732673
http://www2.psych.ubc.ca/~henrich/pdfs/Journal%20of%20Cross-Cultural%20Psychology-2010-Broesch-%20Cultural%20Variations%20in%20Children%27s%20Mirror%20Self-Recognition.pdf

I AM SPOON FEEDING THIS IDIOT

>>29732703
>>29732693
Holy fuck this is legit

>>29731768
Wrong, I save the doorknob fucking for when there are actual fetish fags, the other two are just false flaggers jealous our thread is still here. Though you are right, its best to point and laugh at them.

>>29732702
Yesssssss

>>29732702
Want to see this.

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>>29732586
D'aww.

>>29732809
>Though you are right, its best to point and laugh at them.
This is the first time I've felt dirty from a post mentioning me. It's like the greasy, smelly kid from way back in school just sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

>>29733026
Fuck you too buddy.

>>29732729
Well, yeah. You seriously thought that racism had absolutely no basis in reality and was entirely due to people being bad-evil-meanie-bigots ?
Honestly, the differences between Earth Ponies / Pegasi & Unicorns are more superficial than the differences between Afro, Abos & Indians. Mankind is absurdly diverse and "difference is only skin deep" is just wishful thinking.

>>29731869
>I decide what people are allowed to like and call a reeeeeing autist everyone who dares to differ
God, I love how you people start acting all smug and say "no one asked your opinion", spout memes and ad hominems whenever someone attacks your precious fetish, hoping that if you insult and ridicule me loud enough I'll fuck off and you'll win the argument. Not even the guy who called this entire thread shit yesterday got as many angry replies as me.
This is RGRE, not Pregnancy general. You're a minority, albeit vocal, and I am allowed to dislike you and complain about your shit whenever I fucking want, and the fact that I normally don't do it is a courtesy I extend for this thread's sake, because no matter what you think, I don't like it when it turns into a 400 posts long quarrel.

>>29731885
Great rebuttal, reddit.

Is there any story where Anon blatantly rejects herding, and just keeps being monogamous, just with his waifu?

>>29733245
>Anon standing up for human taught values
Have Human in Equestria stories taught you nothing. Fuck your past life, horse pussy.
Lero:Horse Pussy or "beaten up" by cute pones
Max:Second class citizen, horse pussy
Anon: Fetishized to hell and back, horse vagoo

>>29733180
>"I don't like it when it turns into a 400 posts long quarrel"
>Replies to trolls anyway.
>Wants to win an internet argument about the best kind of horseporn.
Just stop replying to them
They'll go away if you don't feed them.
You're better than them Anon.
You don't have to participate in this argument.

>>29733180
>I don't like it when it turns into a 400 posts long quarrel.
And yet, here you are posting. You remind me of one of those people who think it's okay to say something really offensive as long as they say "No offence, but" first.. I'll bet you'll respond to this too.

>>29733180
>I am allowed to dislike you and complain about your shit whenever I fucking want, and the fact that I normally don't do it is a courtesy I extend for this thread's sake
well thank you sir, thank you so very very much for having bare minimum decency and not disrupting the thread (except for all the times that you did,like right now). do you want a trophy for not being a cunt? it says '1st place, sometimes does not screech loudly when he sees something he dislikes'

>Anon works the apple stall for Applejack
>Applejack encourages him to wear something that shows his junk off so that he can attract more customers
>Tells him there's a bushel of apples put aside for him to eat slowly and erotically while maintaining eye contact
>Suggests that he can "sweeten the deal" for certain mares and ensure that they'll be back for more apples later by taking the final apple that they purchase and rub it against his junk before he loads it into their basket
Applejack is a shrewd businessmare.

>>29733245

We tried a few threads ago, but then it became about Celestia forcing polygamy on everyone and sending those who did not comply to reeducation camps.

Shining and Cadance were turned to stone for being monogamous.

>>29733489
>>Shining and Cadance were turned to stone for being monogamous.

>multiple spouses
>harsh penalties for minor infractions
>law-breakers are stoned
My god. Anon lived with sand-niggers this entire time.

>>29733303
>All three of these RGRE universes meet
>Lero and his herd of Twilight, Rainbow, and Lyra..
>Max and Twilight.
>Anon and Twilight who are married with a foal or two.
What happens?

>>29733495
>Anon lived with sand-niggers this entire time

Holy shit.

>Meanwhile the actual Saddle Arabians in RGRE are essentially the pony equivalent of the United States of America
>Most are appalled at Celestia's actions and think Equestrians are barbaric, but there's an annoying vocal minority who insist that Equestria is a peaceful culture and immigrants from there should be allowed no questions asked

>>29733575
>>29733303

Who is Max?

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>>29733619

>>29733648

That's right.

Anon, his waifu, Shining, Cadance, and the Cakes would all have to move to Saddle Arabia if they wanted to be monogamous in peace.

>>29733636
The MC from "Your Human and You". It's another big HiE that spawned copycatslike Xenophilia did. And like Xenophilia, it gets dumb pretty quick.

>>29733681
>Your Human and You

Wait, that shit fic where humans are all pets to ponies except for the protag who is from the real world?

>>29733686
Yep

>>29733245
I made a prompt about it that I haven't posted since before halloween

>Spike and [insert pony who likes anon] are buttblasted that Anon and Rarity are filthy monos (both -gamous and -sexual, the fucking degenerates) and plot to sabotage their relationship that usually backfire due to Rarity being the RGR equivalent of a prissy fag and Anon not being RGR at all

>>29731883
Is a good prompt.

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>>29733681
>>And like Xenophilia, it gets dumb pretty quick.
>seriously comparing xeno to yhay
>seriously comparing xeno copies to yhay copies

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I prefer Bad Mondays.

>It was a Friday during home ec
>Since it was the last class of the day, your teacher had decided to let you all bake something like he usually did on Fridays
>You'd all bake some crappy cake, the teacher would give you A's, and you'd all leave with something sweet to eat for the weekend
>You and the girls would flirt with a couple of guys while Pinkie made some crazy ten-tier cake
>Usually it'd be fun
>But not today
>Today was a special day, one that you and your sis's had been planning out for weeks
>It had been a pain in the ass getting everything ready, and there were variables that could mean trouble for you all, but you were as ready as you’d ever be
>Operation Mystery Man was a go
>You, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rarity were in the class
>Fluttershy had gone to the bathroom to get ready and Pinkie was putting the finishing touches on your group's cake
>You and Rarity were sitting in the corner with your phones out, getting into contact with the other girls
"Rarity, is Rainbow getting the van ready?"
>Rarity, whose fingers were typing so quickly that they were a blur, nodded
>"She just texted me, darling. She's waiting in the back of the school with the doors open."
"Good, good," you said with a nod. "We're going to have to get out of here fast if we don’t want anyone to stop us.”
>A message popped up on your phone
>Opening it up you saw that it was from Twilight
>//I opened his locker and have his bag//
>Some of the tension left your shoulders
>Thank Celestia...
>You didn't think she'd manage to do it in time...

>>29734072
>//Great. Rainbow's in the back of the school. Send Applejack down here so she can distract the teacher. You go and get the van ready.//
>//Alright. Good luck.//
>//Thanks.//
>You slipped your phone into your pocket and took a deep breath
>Alright...
>All you needed to do was wait for Shy to come back and you could start...
>Looking over at Pinkie, you saw that she was almost finished with her cake
>Like usual, it was a massive thing
>At least eight-tiers high, with at least a dozen roses covering it and a wavy pattern on each side
>You couldn't help but shake your head
>Only Pinkie could manage to make such a huge cake in less than twenty minutes...
"Hey Pinkie, come over here for a sec."
>Pinkie, partially covered in icing, perked up
>Her eyes snapped over to you for a moment before they jumped over toward your target
>”Okie dokie, Sunny” she said, slowly setting down her sack of icing
>Thunderlane, who was standing a few feet from her, flinched
>Almost every guy in the room was staring at your group warily, huddled in a corner next to the teacher
>They could tell something was up
>A few of them had their phones out, no doubt texting their girls to leave class early to come get them
>But you weren't out for any of these guys
>Your target was the one guy that had his back turned toward you
>Anon, the exchange student
>Unlike every other guy here, he seemed oblivious to the tension in the air
>He was too busy focused on his cake, bent over the thing while he did his best to ice it
>To be honest, he wasn't doing a very good job...
>The cake really didn't look like a cake, and you were pretty sure icing wasn't supposed to look all crumbly like that...
>Still, he looked cute concentrating as hard as he was
>And if he kept his focus on his cake for a few minutes longer it was going to make your operation a LOT easier

File: 1035943__suggestive_artist-colon-crimsonbugeye_edit_pinkie+pie_equestria+girls_adorasexy_alternate+version_apron_baking_blushing_breasts_busty+pinkie+p.jpg (359KB, 1428x1654px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29734081
>The door to the classroom opened, revealing a flustered Fluttershy
>She was hugging her arms close to her chest, and her face was as red as a fire hydrant
>A quick once over showed you that she was ready
>Now all you needed to--
>"Honk!"
>You twitched as you felt someone reach under your shirt and grab your tit
>Since you weren't wearing a bra, this person was able to take your nipple and give it a pinch with no effort
>"Gawh!"
>You gritted your teeth to keep from yelling
>Violently slapping at the hand, you looked up to see a grinning Pinkie
>Because OF COURSE it was fucking Pinkie...
"Pinkie, what the fuck are you doing?!" you hissed, your eyes darting toward your teacher
>Thankfully, he was too focused on his computer to notice what happened
>Pinkie giggled
>"I was giving your sun cups some lovin', Sunny," she chirped, trying to give your boob another squeeze
>You slapped her hand away
"Will you quit it, you dyke? We're about to start this whole operation and--"
>"But I want to play with your boobies!"
"I don't give a fuck, we--"
>"I have a fever, Sunny."
"Pinkie--"
>"And the only prescription is more big, beautiful boobies!"
"..."
>"And you got just what I need!"
>...
>What the fuck were you going to do with this girl?
>Shaking your head, you grabbed her by the shoulder and forced her to sit down next to you
"Just TRY to act normal for a couple more minutes. Applejack is coming."

>>29734087
>The door suddenly opened
>You and half of the class turned to see Applejack poke her head through the door
>Speak of the devil...
>"Mr. Hooves?"
>Your teacher, Mr. Hooves, looked from his computer with a bored expression
>"Can I help you, Applejack?"
>Your friend nodded, stepping into the room
>"Yeah, Principal Celestia sent me ta tell ya that somethin' happened to one o' yer cats."
>In an instant, your teacher's bored expression was replaced with a look of fear
>"One of my cats?" he said, sitting up
>"Yessir. The Principal. said somethin' about dogs..."
>"The neighbor's dogs finally came over my fence to get at my babies!" Mr. Hooves yelled, leaping to his feet in panic. "Well, I’m not going to stand for it! I don’t care what I’m doing to have to do, I’m getting those BEASTS put down! Daddy’s gonna avenge his babies! Class dismissed!"
>With that, the teacher ran out of the room as fast as he could, not bothering to ask why the principal would send Applejack to tell him
>The jackass...
>The second he was gone, your fellow students began getting up and leaving
>The guys in particular were quick to rush out the door
>One of them tried to reach out to touch Anon, but another guy grabbed him by the collar, shook his head, and lead him out of the door
>Anon, thankfully, was so focused on his cake that he probably didn't even hear the teacher leaving
>Good...
>You nudged Rarity then Fluttershy as the last student left and Applejack closed the door behind them
"Alright girls, we're live."

~_~_~_~_~_~_

>Be Anon

>>29734072
LAAAAP

File: 1359564__suggestive_artist-colon-acesrockz_fluttershy_equestria+girls_adorasexy_big+breasts_blushing_breasts_bronybait_busty+fluttershy_cleavage_clothe.png (223KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29734092
>Making a bomb-ass cake
>But not just any bomb-ass cake—this was going to be the best cake that your shithead teacher had ever SEEN!
>He was going to be so impressed by it that he'd give you an A
>The first fucking A that you got in this shitty, piece of shit, stupid ass faggot class!
>You were going to do it!
>It was going to happen!
>You were going to show everyone that you could cook something edible
>You didn’t need your group
>You didn’t need a recipe book
>You didn’t need ANYTHING!
>God. Fucking. Dammit!
>You licked your dry lips, carefully applying the last bit of icing
>You had come in early this morning to make it with the finest ingredients that you could find in the back of the home ec fridge
>It was delicious; just the right amount of egg, food coloring, and salt!
>Oh yeah...
>This was going to fucking be it...
>That A was yours...
>You--
>"U-Um, A-Anon?"
>You tensed, lifting the knife in your hand away from the cake so that you didn't disturb the icing
>You then carefully stood up and stepped away from your masterpiece
>Only when you checked to see if anyone was around to harm your baby did you turn around to see who was bothering you
>Didn't they see that you were in the zone?
>The fucking philistine...
>To your surprise, you saw that it was Fluttershy
>She was tracing a circle on the floor with the tip of her shoe, her hands behind her back and her face as red as you've ever seen it
>You frowned
>What the heck did she want...?
"Hello Flutt--tits!"
>Through some unknown, comic force, your gaze slowly slid down from yellow quiet's face to her chest
>There, you noticed something very interesting
>Flutters wasn't wearing a bra, and her thin, white shirt did nothing at all to hide her massive tits
>You could see everything; the curvature of her breasts, the size and color of her areolas, her nipples poking up against the fabric