RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>29701902
I was gone for like 20 minutes, what the hell happened?

>>29701908
mods?

>mods

>>29701908
It was pruned by mods.

>>29701908
Maybe a mod thought the other thread's image was close enough to anthro?

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>>29701902
Mods/Janitors are retards. There was nothing wrong with the previous image. Oh well.

>>29701924
>pruned instead of just removing OP image
t-thanks...

>>29701931
My boss just called me at home.

Thanks, asshole.

>>29701931
nice milkbags

would she be the mareliest of mares having teats like that

>>29701968
???

>>29701999
>newfag

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>>29701902
>oppic is only looks anthro at first glance
>thread goes on for more than half a day
>pruned instead of pic deleted
>after 9001 consecutive and steady general recreations, one of which branched into 5+ threads before only the strongest survived, the cycle is broken
>[lacrimosa intensifies]

>>29702031
>>29701933
You are being too obvious. Nobody is this selectively blind.

Corvo

Did we lose the green from the murdered thread?

>>29702152
I imagine APA still has it somewhere.

>>29702200
It's in his pastebin still

>>29701902
We never had this fucking problem when we used the classic RGRE OP Pics.

Bring back the Dong Ring

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>>29702353

>>29702353
or better yet, draw more thread art for the OP

http://i.imgur.com/WVSW2MJ.jpg

I'm not fixing the spoilers. That would require too much effort.

>>29702394
This.

>>29702353
Your overused and forced meme is dead.

>>29702394
Is Bombshell sufficiently topic-related, or is she not RGRE enough?

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>>29702394
how about this

>>29702441
She is literally the waifu we created specifically to as cute as possible in RGREquestria.

So, no. But if you say "something something rgre" at the end then it's fine. Just don't have her mention Discord.

>>29702453
BIRDHERD

DO WANT

>>29702453
why putin tho?

>>29702391
Reminds me of the good days.
Except the picture itself is objectively bad, especially if used as an oppic.
Too much going on, too much detail - so the thumb looks like some random noise.
The style makes it painful to look at, which isn't good for an image we get to see every fucking thread.
Perhaps now that the donger wars are over someone should repurpose it.

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>>29702475
>cute
>not RGRE enough
What the buck did you just bucking say about me, you little bench?

>>29702394
Still waiting for new requests, as I said many times. Only Moondancer was suggested, and one... or rather "half of a" thread ago also you make it sound like there's not enough pics to use as OP

>>29702441
>Literally created by this thread pony, through anons collaboration in more than 600 posts, 2 threads and with three different designs at least
Hmmm... maybe?

>>29702535
We have many, many stories from this thread but barely any art. How weird is that?

>>29702504
Just make him green and put a question mark on his face
Bam! OP pic.

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>>29702679

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>>29702688
Fine, have him ree at not being dominant.

>>29702601
You mean many promts, not stories. All my thread pics aside from some lewd exceptions are stories related, including last redrawing of Succubuspone, and some old requests still awaits of old stories continuations to be related to thread. I can try to do random Moondancer or Anon vs Applejack gunfight, but don't have any rgre or thread related requests aside from those two (and second one I'm not sure how to make rgre or at least latest threads revelant)

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>>29702535
bony Moonie trying to mend her disintegrating sweater, failing and holding back tears "no-no-no no!" when
unconscious Moonie at the bottom of a flight of stairs in her basement with a couple of picrelateds rolling around when

By the way, do you approve >>29702533?

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>>29702508
Until somebody else does a better job:

>>29702755
Okay, I'll try this two then if no more thread revelant requests

Love it

>You are anon and you are dealing with yet more show offs
>These vapid horse creatures, you refuse to call these things ponies, will not just fuck off
>Trying to have a nice meal with you herd
>And that's when you got an idea
>You give the hand signal to huddle up
"So, I never asked this and I'm sorry I'm going to, so which one of you is technically the ugliest one?"
>One of the ponies backs out of the conversation fast so you assume
"Ah, is if flur? she is a bit weird shaped for a pony"
>At this a number of the mares laugh
"NOT saying you are ugly to me, or weird, just differently shaped... wow this topic cannot be broached easily"

>Be flur de lis momentarily
>This is the first time in your life that someone said you were ugly
>Well, assumed you were ugly
>He really is unable to tell is he
>you shake your head
"Honey, I'm a literal super model... Haven't you seen me on magazines?
>He looks stunned
>"How it the fuck did I get a super model?"
>He realizes you asked a question and snaps out of his question
>"You ever do a pinup for O&O monthly, or the weekly hyperspace pamphlets?"
>You smile and shake your head
"No, and for the record, that's how you got me"

>You are anon again
>You feel a tugging at your sleeve
>Its moondancer
>Her adorable turtleneck
>The nerdy glasses
>The blush of embarrassment
>"That would probably be me"
>And the look of 'I just admitted a hard fact, fuck my life'
>Well... good thing she is right next to you
>You put a hand under the table
>"...And we would be FAR more suitable to be yours then..."
>Everyone is cut off by a rather loud hiiiii from moondance
>Suddenly the pony who is the 'ugliest at the table goes from embarrassed, to sad, then back to embarrassed but with a different color
"Well, go on, keep telling me why you are better"
>They look to each other and are about to continue and are about to speak
>Moondancer cant hold it in any more, lets out a throaty moan, and splotches on the floor

>>29702838

>The few creatures in your herd that didn't know what was going on, know damn well what just happened
>Moondancer has a look of embarrassment, and satisfaction
"AWE yea, new record, 7 seconds"
>2 and 2 have been added in the mares looking ot herd with you, and they came out with 5
>"You only lasted 7 seconds?"
>You reply excitedly, not noticing moony shrink back a bit
"I know right, you have any idea how fun it is to fuck her stupid?"
>You reach down and start fingering both holes, much to moonies reluctance
>This time all the ponies around you know what's going on
>"How could a mare last shorter then her stallion, that's pathetic"
"Who cares?"
>Everyone around just looks at you, probably a ton of fast cumming mares are hinged on your words
"Its not like you become un fuckable when you cum, unlike a normal stallion who may not get it up again that day"
>About to say something they are interrupted by number 2 from moony.
>And her head is down on the table, tongue loling out
"Look at that face, that satisfied look..."
>All eyes are on moony, who is riding it out sucking your finger with surprising force with bother her marehood and anus.
"Welp, it was a wonderful lunch. flur dear, can you stay back and pay, moonies in no real condition to walk so I'm taking her home. when you get back we can start working off all the food we ate the best way we know how."
>She smiles and nods her head
>You pick up a very messy moondancer, and for the first time show the mares what you were doing as your hand is still 3 fingers in one hole with your thumb on the slightly to large button.
>A little motion of the thumb gets winking and sucking action going,
>You walk out, enterage ent tail, ready for a very fun afternoon.

>Be show off pony
>This is the moment
>Right here
>That you know celestia died and a changeling took over her place.
>Yes for this to happen, celestia is dead.

>>29702535
A panicking and thrashing Moondancer being picked up by a Anon who wants her to stop studying and take her to go eat something

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all i want is a cute little mare to cum inside of start a family with and have lots of foals

is that so much to ask

>>29702838
Stopped reading when I realized that capitalizing someone's name is a foreign concept to you.

>Ah, is if flur?
What did he mean by this?

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>>29702152
http://pastebin.com/PfvhAejw
new update starts at line 386

>>29702353
The Dong shall rise again

>>29703203
Anon better hug the two apples

>>29702838
>>29702843
Your grammar is fucking atrocious, but otherwise its a nice idea.

>Anon and Twilight are talking about interdimensional shit
>It occurs to them that most dimensions seem to share common counterparts
>They use the map to find Anon's pony counterpart and track him down to sate their curiosity
>Anonpone turns out to be the softest, most coltish, most fuccboiest stallion that ever lived
>Anon is violently disappointed
>He decides to mold Anonpone into a rough and tumble, pussy-grabbing man's man in hopes of redeeming his ancestral lineage
>Dadanon didn't raise no faggot
>Even if Dadanon is a theoretically a horse in this scenario
>Anonpone agrees
>...Only because he thinks Anon's cute, and he thinks he has a shot with him

>>29703361
>fucking atrocious
Stop being a bitch.

>>29703432
It is atrocious, he's right.

>>29703406
Get out.

>>29703015
Yes, yes it is.
You know why?
Because she isn't real. Waiting for you to arrive after the 1034th failed summoning ritual.

This thread needs more apprentice Anon getting into shenanigans with the various races of Equestria.

Especially dragons. The dragonlord in particular. Ember wasn't sure why she suddenly felt a chill run down her spine when she met Anon - until he mentioned just who he apprenticed under…
Johnniass Dragonraper.

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>>29700321
Condolences to my boy APA for being doomed to post in ded threads. Limey was cute, mod was a fag.

>>29703524
This. It's was like... paper work!

>APA writes so bad that the mods deleted the thread.
lmao.

>>29702835
Well, if no one else will say anything,

Anon, school teacher standing at the blackboard. A unicorn mare student at her desk eyes his bulge and licks her lips

Butler Anon bends over while cleaning while Diamond Tiara watches

Anon lies on a towel by the beach while a blushing Celestia rubs sunscreen on his back

Still waiting lero and anon.
>>29703524
>i miss you APA-san

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>>29703648
Okay, that's actually pretty funny.

>>29703730
I'll always be in your heart, Anon-kun. You make my kokoro go doki doki

>>29703748
Senpai~

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>>29703801
N-Notice me~

>>29703730
lero is kill

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>>29703203
>spitting
What a fucking faggot.

>>29703949
I figured it was for lubricating the horn, and done before the act.
What the fuck is a horn supposed to leak that you may spit out?

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>>29703968
Magaculate, of course

>>29704040
I can't help but think that must feel like all your sinuses suddenly all clearing up at once, any and all pressure releasing.

>>29704040
Fun fact: Consuming magical horn-ejaculation (ladies) can actually temporarily grant the swallower limited magical abilities. It's in Anon's interests to start being really popular amongst the mare crowd.

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>"Please, Anon, could you do this little thing for me?"
"No! I'm sorry, babe, but it's not happening. I'm not doing it."
>"Oh, come on! Why not?"
"Because I don't want to."
>"Why?"
"Because... Because it's fucking gay, alright?"
>"What are you talking about? There's nothing gay about it at all, it's a perfectly normal thing for a stallion to do. And I just know you'd look great!"
"Yeah, well, it'd be gay back where I come from."
>"And where are we now?"
"...In Equestria."
>"Exactly! Look, Anon, I won't ask you to do this everyday. Just today, since it's my birthday?
"I don't know..."
>"Pleeease?"
"...Fine."
>"Yes!"
"But you'll have to do something for me later, okay?"
>"Sure, that's fair.I'll go get the makeup."

Assuming whatever version of RGRE you ended up in had stallions that girly, would your wear makeup, lipstick and stuff if your waifu really wanted you to?

>>29704093
>nipple
>not pony
forshame

>>29704093
As long as I'm still giving her the dick later.
Don't think I'd look very good as a trap though.

>>29704093
Only on special occasions.

Sh-should I repost what got deleted? This wasn't covered in the writefag etiquette handbook they gave me when I made my pastebin account.

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>>29704173
yes.

>>29704093
Yes. She's my waifu for a reason, anon.

I'd be a painted up whore if I had to, as long as it had her twitching and glassy-eyed and trying to keep herself from flagging so the other ponies can't tell how wet she is. They can still smell it, though.

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>>29704178
Welp, it's one for one and majority rules.

>150 years in the past
>You are Anonymous.
>You've been wandering around Equestria ever since you were first spat out here a couple of years ago, eager to see what this new world had to offer you.
>As soon as you had enough money to buy a small carriage (complete with a bit of magic to make pulling it around a lot easier), you had taken to travelling.
>Your goal was to see every city in the land and then move on to some other country - so far you've only been to five or six cities and have recently decided to move onto smaller towns.
>You've been all over Equestria; from the arid wastes of Appleloosa to the highrises and harbors of Manehattan.
>You enjoyed your time a lot in Manehattan - entertainment and novelties were never in short supply there.
>Street-corner attractions, busy restaurants, fairgrounds on the piers with music and light bulb-studded ferris wheels that lit up at night...
>God, how you had loved the city's night life.
>Liquor that flowed like water; whispered under-the-table deals kept the bits changing hooves; stallions on stage in layered skirts who linked arms and kicked their legs for the entertainment of the roaring crowd...
>...maybe you didn't enjoy the dancing stallions as much as the mares did, but they were all part of the atmosphere that you enjoyed.
>It seemed like this on-the-rise megalopolitan was built up on squeezing every last dollar - er, bit - out of each naive, bright-eyed tourist visiting Manehattan for their first time.

>God knows it nearly squeezed YOU dry; you were swept away by the never-ending excitement and before you knew it, you were handing out your last non-essential bit away in exchange for a corndog.
>Not that that was very much of a problem. When you ran out of spending money, the smell of the sea made night-time walks a fine replacement for all the expensive treats that Manehattan had to offer.

>>29704173

Sure.

>>29704209
>Even with antique (from your perspective) gas lamps dotting the sidewalks and old-fashioned carriages criss-crossing the cobblestone streets, Manehattan really put up a fight against your memories of an Earth city with a similar name.
>At the end of your stay in Manehattan, the only money you had saved was just enough to buy supplies - food, water, and replacement parts for your carriage - to make it to Canterlot.
>It was a long road, but the flat ground made it easy to pull your little home-on-wheels along.
>To properly compare travel times, walking through the bumpy hill-lands of Filly Delphia to your previous destination of Manehattan had taken almost the same amount of time as gliding over the flat planes between Manehattan and Canterlot.
>A few odd jobs down in Canterlot (telling stories; selling some novelties from Manehattan and Filly Delphia) got you enough cash to buy some more supplies to make it to Ponyville.
>You've heard good things about that place; endless fields thanks to its farming community, and a population that's friendly and tight-knit.
>You heard this from exactly one pony, so you'll take it with a grain of salt.
>In the end, it doesn't matter which small town you choose to go to first - you'll reach them all eventually and Ponyville is as good a place to start as any other.
>After a few weeks on the road, you pull your little carriage along a bumpy, beaten dirt path into town.
>You can see smoke rising in the distance, coming from a gathering of thatched-roof cottages and stone towers.

-------------

>A long stretch of road lays before you and Ponyville, guarded on both sides with wooden fence.
>The sun beats down on you from above, and a light breeze carries the scent of apples.
>It's a very rustic experience, and you can't help but smile.
>You can already tell that life here in Ponyville is going to be much different from life in the big cities.

>>29704216
>Large countrysides stretch out like a green wave as far as the eye can see, bordered by a large forest in the distance.
>The grass is green and the dirt path is uneven, unlike the smooth cobblestone roads of Manehattan.
>The air is fresh and free of the ever-present stench of oil that plagued you way back in he other cities and stuck to your clothes like a film.
>You thought the smell would never come off, but a couple weeks of wandering through nature did the job for you.
>The wind; the endless fields; the wild forest in the distance; the uneven dirt path...
>It all gives the impression that whoever built their town here is just borrowing from the earth instead of trying to conquer it.
>Up along the path, you spot the other other soul you've come across since Canterlot: a light brown mare with a dark, wavy mane perched up on one of these fences.
>She's relaxing with her head in her forehooves, propping herself up against one of the rails that stretch between big, round posts.
>The way she looks at you as you approach along the bumpy trail is that of a mare at complete leisure. She doesn't even bother to open her eyes up all the way as she examines you with a sleepy, half-lidded gaze.
>When the mare decides that you've gotten close enough, she raises her head and gives it a quick twist, sighing in relief as the resulting -crack- fills the air.
>"Oh me, oh my, but you're a biggin'," she drawls, "Just what in Equestria do they feed you?"
>What fortunate timing for you - you're barely even inside of Ponyville's borders and you've already found someone who can give you some directions.

>You dig your heels into the ground and press your back into the walls of your carriage, easing it to a stop; it would be impolite to just ignore this pony and keep on going along your way.
>You might only spend a few weeks at a time around ponies, but that doesn't mean you've forgotten how not to be rude.

>>29704226
>The mare's eyes look between you and the fence she's resting on, and she adjusts her rear hooves a bit.
>"Now hold up jus' a second, hun," she tells you, sticking her tongue out the corner of her mouth in concentration
>The brown mare braces her legs and wiggles her bum (for an extra boost) before leaping over the fence with a graceful hop.
>Now that she's no longer obscured by a fence post, you're finally able to see her cutie mark.
>It looks like some kind of brown slice of pie with a dollop of whipped cream on top.
>"I don't think I've seen y'all 'round these here parts," she says with a curious tilt of her head, "Just who might you be?"
"You wouldn't have seen me; I'm not from around here. This is my first time in Ponyville."
>The mare nods to herself, seemingly satisfied with your answer.
>With a proud smile, she holds a hoof out to you to shake.
>"The name's Apple Brown Betty."
>She jabs her head off to the side, gesturing in the general direction of the fenced-off fields behind her.
>"My family owns the farmlands you see here. We grow the finest apples y'all ever did taste."
>You kneel down carefully to get down on your new friend's level.
>You reach out and wrap your fingers around her proffered hoof, making sure not to squeeze too tightly; ponies seem to find your grip unsettling at times.
"It's nice to meet you, Apple Brown Betty," you say, "I'm Anonymous, but you can call me Anon. I-"
>Apple Brown Betty squeaks in surprise when you grip her hoof.
>She pulls her hoof closer to her face (taking your hand along for the ride) and examines it, poking at your fingers with her free hoof.
>"Celestia above, what the hecky-heck are these thangs?"
>The moment her hoof touches one of your fingers, she pulls it sharply back and squeaks in alarm.
>"Wh-what are-"
>This is by far your favourite reaction in ponies.
>Places this far out probably don't see too many minotaurs, so fingers are a foreign concept to them.

>>29704234
>Most ponies in general aren't all that keen on things that can grab and hold them.
>You give her hoof a gentle squeeze and try not to make noises of delight when Apple Brown Betty squeals and tries to tug her hoof out of your hand.
>"H-Hey!"
>Yeah, okay, this has gone on for long enough.
>There's having fun with a pony, and then there's screwing around with a perfect stranger.
>You release your grip and let the brown mare pull her hoof away from you.
>Apple Brown Betty does a little horsey dance in-place, dragging her forehooves through the dirt every couple of clip-clops as if trying to rub the sensation of your fingers off of her hooves.
>Her face is the perfect picture of someone whose foot just touched seaweed while swimming in the ocean.
>"Th-That was w-weird!" gasps Apple Brown Betty as she finally comes to a stop.
>She's left a panting, sweating mess.
>After a few moments of recovering, she grins and holds her hoof back out.
>"Do it again."

-----------

>"So, where's yer mare?" she asks, looking over her shoulder and down the path where you came from, "I didn't see no pony cross my path before you showed up; is she back at the town border doin' something?"
"I don't have a mare, miss. I've been all on my own since I left Canterlot last week."
>The brown mare laughs jovially.
>"No, but seriously," she says, giggling a bit as she tries to get her laughter under control, "Is yer mare gonna make an appearance soon? Y'all can't keep blocking the road like this for very long."
"No, really," you insist, "I'm all on my own."
>The mare peers at you suspiciously as her muzzle slowly curls up into a mighty scrunch.
>After a moment, she reers back wide-eyed and nearly trips over her own four hooves
>"Holy hay, you aren't kidding."

>>29704243
>LATER

>"And here we are!"
>Apple Brown Betty pants as she tugs your cart the last couple of yards, sweating bullets and pulling the carriage forward in irregular bursts of strength.
>The farm pony had insisted on pulling your cart for you all the way from the entrance road to Ponyville to her farm, where she promised there would be an unused plot of field that you could part your vehicle on - a whole two kilometres of uneven, sloping ground.
>Apple Brown Betty collapses on the ground, unmoving except for the powerful heaves of her chest as she does her best to take in as much oxygen as possible.
>Earth pony or not, that was a human-sized carriage (mobility cart-magic notwithstanding) and Betty here was just a waist-high tiny horse with fuzzy marshmallows for legs.
>The mare tries to stand up, but her legs won't hold her weight; they wiggle comically before she collapses, legs splayed out in all directions.
>You'd feel bad for her if she hadn't chased you away from your cart each time you tried to help shoulder the load like some kind of four-legged, territorial goose.
>Fucking geese.
>"Th-there!" she pants, weakly pawing at the impromptu pony-straps that she tied to your cart, "N-now we can w-wait for your friend t-to show up."
>You just roll your eyes and walk over to undo the hitch for her; Apple Brown Betty mumbles her thanks but makes no move to, well... move.
"Well," you drawl, "So far, we've succeeded in shooting the shit for about an hour on the side of a dirt road without seeing any other mares walking by."
>You take a seat on the hard ground next to her head and start to stroke her mane.
>Sapient or not, these creatures were a joy to pet.
"Are you happy now? And I'm not blocking the road into town anymore, just like you wanted."
>"Th'road touches my land," she says in between breaths, "It's my responsibility."
>You scratch behind her ears and watch one of her hind legs twitch.

>>29704251
>It would be kicking if Apple Brown Betty could actually feel her legs.
"I think you just wanted to get a stallion onto your property," you say teasingly, "All alone and without a single friend in town. Why..."
>You lie down on your side next to your new friend, making sure to get yourself at eye-level with her.
"...if you decided to do something to him, he couldn't do anything to stop you."
>Apple Brown Betty blinks once in confusion, and then her face turns bright red.
>"N-no! I would never take advantage!"
>You quirk an eyebrow at her and try to make yourself sound a little bit disappointed.
"Never?"
>You slowly bring your hand over to play with her mane, but your antics have apparently given Apple Brown Betty some strength.
>She manages to push herself upright and hobble away from you on shaky legs.
>"H-Heck, Anon!" she exclaims, glaring at you, "Quit temptin' an honest, hard-workin' mare like that!"
>The glare lacks heat, though, to your relief.
>The brown mare grumbles angrily and blushes harder, grumbling beneath her breath.
>"I swear, Anon," she grumbles, "I'm gonna have a long talk with your mare whenever she finally decides to show up."

>You push yourself to your feet and brush the dirt from your pants.
>Apple Brown Betty DID pull your carriage for you... even though you didn't ask her to.
>You guess you can cut her some slack.
>After a short jog to catch up with the retreating mare, you get her attention and gesture at the land around you at large.
"So this is it, huh?"
>Apple Brown Betty takes a deep breath and puffs her chest out, glowing with pride and her exhaustion forgotten.
>"You bet it is, mister Anon. From the eastern borders of Ponyville all the way up to the Everfree Forest."
>She turns her head left and right, looking content as she takes in a sight she probably sees every single day.
>"It's all ours, an' we use it to grow the finest apples fer everypony in town to enjoy."

>>29704257
>That sounds so sweet and idyllic that you could just shit yourself.
>Apple Brown Betty trots over to a tree just a few feet away from you (it's impossible to be very far away from an apple tree on this property) and gives it a light kick.
>You can feel the impact through the ground almost as much as you hear in through the air.
>The outermost branches shake, and one of them drops an apple, which you manage to catch.
>It's shiny, red, and glossy.
>You can smell the sweet, tart aroma from here, and you can't help but wish that the apples you bought from the supermarket back on Earth were anywhere near as good as these looked to me.
>"Give it a try, mister," your friend says with confidence, "These here be the best apples in town."
>>"They're the ONLY apples in town, Betty," drawls an approaching voice.
>Do ALL Apples drawl?
>You've yet to meet one that doesn't.
>A young mare - too small to be an adult, but too large to be a filly - trots up to the two of you, looking curiously between you and Apple Brown Betty.
>Apple Brown Betty nods sagely at the newcomer, ignoring her questioning gaze.
>"And that makes them the best!"
>The new mare just laughs.

>Her shiny coat is light gray, and her mane is an absolute mess of brown curls.
>Her cutie mark is something brown, crumbly, and drizzled with syrup.
>Apple Brown Betty marches up to the filly and pats her on her withers.
>"This is my little sister, Apple Streusel."
>Apple Brown Betty nudges her sister with her muzzle, trying to encourage her to move closer to you.
>"Say hello, Streusel."
>After sending her sister one more uncertain look, Apple Streusel slowly trots forward and hold out a hoof for you to shake.
>Another Apple pony holding her hoof out for you to shake is too much of a temptation for you.
>You never would have been this... familiar with a stranger back on Earth, but being a male in Equestria means that you get quite a bit more leeway in terms of your behaviour.

>>29704262
>You're no longer the creepy weirdo; now you're "eccentric".
>Before Apple Streusel can react, you smartly dodge your hand around her outstretched hoof and boop her right on her muzzle.
>Apple Streusel's eyes cross as they follow your finger, and then slam shut.
>The reaction is immediate.
>The gray mare back away like a cat with something stuck on its nose, lowering her front end and raising her rump high in the air.
>She blows a raspberry into the open air and scrunches her snootle up something fierce.
>You give her a few minutes to recover, all while doing your best not to giggle like the socially-retarded turd you are.
>You haven't booped mares like this since way back in Filly Delphia, and you'd forgotten how fun the reactions are.
>When Streusel finally recovers, Apple Brown Betty pats her on the withers to get her attention.
>You might be imagining things, but that wither-pat seemed especially sympathetic in nature.
>"Think you can talk Ma into letting Anon stay the night? He don't have nowhere else to go."
>Apple Streusel scrubs the tip of her muzzle with a hoof and looks between you and her sister.
>>"Ah reckon I can try. Shouldn't be too hard; it wouldn't be the first time she done took pity on a colt with nowhere to stay."
>Apple Streusel raises a hoof to cup her mouth conspiratorially and stage-whispers to you.
>>"That's how she met Pa."
>Apple Streusel giggles and walks off towards the house without another word while Apple Brown Betty watches on, smiling and shaking her head fondly.
>"Always the romantic, that one," she says fondly, "They say that every colt dreams of meetin' his knight in shining armour, but sometimes I think that Streusel dreams of the same exact thing."

>>29704269
>Ma looks down at Apple Streusel with stern, maternal disapproval.
>"Apple Brown Betty," the older mare groans after a long-suffering sigh, "What am I going to do with you?"
>Judging by the sigh and the lack of yelling, you get the feeling that their mother has dealt with this "a colt followed me home, can we keep him?" business with her daughters for a long time now.
>"I don't know, Betty. You can't just go inviting strangers to live on the farm, you know."
>>"I know, Ma, but what else could I have done?"
>Apple Streusel walks over and pokes you in the thigh, which is about as high as she can reach.
>>"Anon don't got a single friend in the world out here in the sticks to turn to."
>The two parents exchange a look, but the older stallion doesn't look convinced.
>Streusel apparently picks up on this, because she does an excited horse dance and turns around to address you with a big, excited smile on her face.
>>"Oh! Anon, show Ma the thing you do with your hands! It's feels so weird!"
>Oh, god.
>Apple Streusel, why would you SAY that?
"Uh...."
>You look over to Ma and Pa and wince at their combined disapproving glare.
"Shhiiii-oooot."
>This is starting to look like Filly Delphia all over again.


Right, there we go.
http://pastebin.com/PfvhAejw
Bam.
If this thread is deleted again, I'll take full responsibility.

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>>29704274
>>>"Oh! Anon, show Ma the thing you do with your hands! It's feels so weird!"

I enjoyed this green very much. thank you.

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Do you think pegasi ever fly into Anon's windows like birds do?

>>29704287
Thanks for saying that, Anon. Thanks for putting up with me posting my story twice.

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>>29703949
>>29703968
>>29704040
>>29704090
>Anon has an all unicorn herd
>Hornjob during every rut
>Sucking at least 4 horns nightly
>Swallows like a fucking champ
>Magic builds up over time
>Becomes a wizard
>Gets robe and hat
>Making spells left and right
>Makes a spell that lets him hopefully impregnate his mares
>Works, duh
>Named his first daughter after the Equestrian sun, Celestia
>His second after Earth's moon, Luna
>His third after her grandmare, Crystal
>And his only son after his best bro, Tirek
>Gets lost in time experimenting with chronomancy
>Each of his kids react badly
>Celestia pours herself into her work to the point that she ignores her family to the point of abandonment
>Luna allows grief and misery to consume her to the point that it was easy to be possessed
>Crystal begins to steal the love of others to fill the hole her father's disappearance left
>Tirek sucks magic with abandon in hopes that once he has enough he can find his papa, not realizing that using the shortcut of dark magic makes him forget his motivation and alters his appearance.
>Anon shows up in current day Equestria
>He has a lot of stern talking to's to hand out.
>Right after tearful hugs
>And mourned wives

>>29704338
do it.

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>>29704338
Yes, I want this badly.

>>29704338

Wait, so is Crystal supposed to be Cadence's ancestor?

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>>29704373
Yes.
Also Chrysalis

>>29704384

That would mean Cadence and Chrysalis are actually distantly related in this story.

>Chrysalis tried to steal her cousin's stallion

Not cool.

Although the idea of kindly great-grandpa Anon who is also willing to fuck shit up with magic if you cross him sounds fun.

I can imagine him just suddenly showing up in the finale of Season 2 to stop his family from fighting each other.

What happened to Crystal?

>>29704401
who is crystal

>>29704440
Bro.

Fuckin' bro.

He just posted about a pony name Crystal.

>>29704461
No I,know that, he said he named his children after Celestia, Luna, and Crystal. Who the everloving fuck is Crystal?

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>>29704401
Dark magic doesn't always make you big and sexy like with Luna.
Sometimes it gives you a goatface.
Sometimes it gives you a carapace, and holes, and fangs, and an unquenchable appetite for affection, and the desire to make your great great great great great granddaughter starve to death in a cave.
Dark magic fucks you depending on how fucked what you do with it is.

I imagine sucking out the love of others as pretty fucking fucked.

>>29704317
Luv u bb

>>29704491
Well, genius, which character steals love from other people and has a name that sounds like "Crystals"?

>>29704401
Makes the whole "Auntie Celestia" thing make a lot more sense.

>Anon and Twilight get frisky
>He ends up trying to suck her horn
>She's surprised, but she's absolutely loving it
>Her horn has a wonderful, sweet flavor, so he's loving it too
>After a while, the flavor fades, and he pulls off her
>She's lost all of her color, and she can't do any magic
>His stomach is glowing with a soft lavender light from swallowing like a gentlecolt
>Twilight heads to her library to find out what's going on and figure out how to undo it
>While he waits, Rarity stops by to see Twilight
>Anon can't help himself
>Soon, Rarity is panting in post-horngasmic bliss as her magic mixes with Twilight's in Anon's gut
>Anon's addicted to the sweet, salty taste of magijaculate
>A depowered Twilight and Rarity have to hunt Anon down before he drains all the unicorns in Ponyville
>Like the thirsty little slut he is
>Also, he'll probably explode or something, but whatever

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>>29704672
>>Like the thirsty little slut he is

>>29704274
Hopefully the mods won't delete this one. I love stories where Anon wonders the world. Cute Apples.

>>29704749
Someone post on /vip/ and make out thread gone.

>>29704813
our* I was gonna say, someone make a thread and demand delete RGRE about anthro on /vip/ so other mod come here and AKULALA.
Sorry, I was drunk.

>>29704093
>Rarity want's Anon to dress up and get his makeup game on

>Anon decides to go full Goth
>Black lipstick, eyeliner, eye shadow, fingernail polish, whatever the fuck it is that makes you look even paler than usual, big fuckoff boots, top hat, fishnet sleeves, leather duster, black 3-piece suit, complete with umbrella to ward off the daystar.

>Rarity starts worrying about whether Anon has suddenly decided to try to court Princess Luna

>>29704338
So how does Discord fit into this? Because he obviously has to somehow.

>Anon is an engineer of some talent from earth
>Makes a scant living creating bits and bobs that use electricity and other 'otherwordly' marvels for pones to enjoy
>Anon frequently talks about feats of engineering from his world, but pones off the street are skeptical of his knowledge because they haven't seen it before and otherworldly and colts and 'muh sexism'
>Innocently but ruefully lets slip one day about arguably humanity's most powerful feat of engineering known to his history, and its most terrible; bombs, devices that have the power to destroy countries and grant the wielders unreasonable amounts of power, especially should others not have the same power at their disposal
>More importantly, he lets slip that science isn't nearly as picky about who has the power as magic is, and that anyone could create them as long as they knew how
>And, when questioned, admits that even HE could do it, given some time and the proper supplies, even if he would never do so willingly
>News travels fast, both to Celestia and less kind ears
>Possible ponewiafus and Celestia are pulled into a subtle conflict in which they must protect 'The Pure Alien Pre-Husbando Who Knew Too Much' from the forces of darkness (and those who simply can't use magic) in their shadowy desire to forcibly change the balance of power in the world in their favor
>They know that if Anon is successfully captured or isolated at any time then those responsible would no doubt be less than squeamish about forcing the information out of him
>By any means necessary
>But probably >rape
>That's not even considering the heavy burden it would place on his kind and loving head should he be forced to become the alien progenitor of a super weapon that would threaten untold lives in the wrong hooves
>Operation 'Protect his smile and in doing so also probably save the world' is a go
>Romance!
>RGRE!
>Overly complicated plot!
>Suspense!
>Action!

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>>29704852
>Anon's friendship with a griffon diplomat turns out extremely short when her charred remains are found on a hill outside Canterlot
>Same as Zecora
>And every donkey in Ponyville

>>29703723
tfw you did the last one a long time ago, but with Bombshell

But I'll try not to forget the first two and do them too

>>29704897
Jesus, 0 to 100 'charred corpses' edition in a single post

> Collect money for drinks served.
> Check identification of customers in order to verify age requirements for purchase of alcohol.
> Balance cash receipts.
> Attempt to limit problems and liability related to customers' excessive drinking by taking steps such as persuading customers to stop drinking, or ordering transportation for intoxicated patrons.
> Clean glasses, utensils, and bar equipment.
> Take beverage orders from serving staff or directly from patrons.
> Rape some ponys.

>>29704852
I'd watch this summer blockbuster.

>>29704274
top cute

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>>29704312
>That thicc ass on Rainbow

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>Anon and Twilight both grew up as nerds
>Blahblah Anon ends up in RGRE
>Anon and Twilight fall for each other
>Get married
>Fuck (a lot)
>Have two kids
>Now there's a split between them and their parenting style
>Twilight accepts her past and tries to groom her children in her own image, having them stay inside and read books while being picky with their friends
>Anon rejects his past and forces his kids outside in hopes of making his kids into Chad and Stacey
>Twilight is understandably peeved
>They argue
>Fight (a lot)
>Anon employs his new gender role powers by telling her she'll get the couch if she doesn't go his way
>Tried as she might to be a strong parent, Twilight couldn't win against the cock
>Nobody can beat the cock.
>Not the cock.
>Can't beat the cock, man.
>Nope.

>>29705152
>Twilight misinterprets this and proves him wrong by punching him in the dick

>>29705157
i would cunt punt her

>>29705152
Why not a healthy balance of both lifestyles?

>>29705206
Then there would be no conflict and the story wouldn't be interesting at all.

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>>29705208
I'd be okay with a cute, happy slice of life story raising a new species of half-breed with your waifu that are completely strange and unpredictable.

>>29705208
>Twilight
It's uninteresting already

>>29705208
Well maybe not like levels of divorce difference, but maybe something like annoyed acceptance with both. Which results in the kids being abit weird compared to most other kids in their age and the conflict comes from that. Tell it from the kids view and all that jazz.

>Anon has a colt and a filly.
>He's awfully proud of them.
>When son comes in with a black eye crying while his daughter comes in right after scuffed up looking.
>Anon feels oddly mixed about it but he's more focused on making sure his kids are fine.
>Next time it's his daughter coming in with tears in her eyes, but then not long after his son comes back with the other colts that had been picking fun on his sister's looks who apologize while shooting his son scared looks.
>Anon can't be prouder, why because his kids are looking out for each other and he couldn't be prouder.
>Now if his son winds up sucking dick instead of clit he might get peeved at Twilight.
>Fucking reverse gender role bullshit...

>>29705238
....Fuck that's really cute...
Don't tempt me back to /Satyr/ Anon, I've quit it once already don't bring me back...

>>29705208
Conflict is overrated.

>>29703406
Why wouldn't you just turn him into your personal trap slut? Seems like less effort. It also seems like it should be in that general and not this one.

>>29704093
I know exactly where you got that image, Anon. This is the wrong thread, even if it is my fetish to do that to someone else.

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Anon & Lero & Max When?
I will bet my money on it!

>>29705332
>& Max
Max? As in, 'humans are animals in Equestria' Max?

>>29704338
>>29704338
>Anon learns about all the bullshit that happened recently.
>After the talking to's and the punishments handed out. He decided to hold a grand family dinner.
>Anon is happy to have a large family.
>Celestia, Luna ,Chrysalis, Cadence, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Spike,Blueblood and Tirek in one table.
>They immediately snipe at each other. Anon perseveres and tries to make it work.
>It escalates into a shouting match and NMM is coaxed out because of the magical energy and the negative emotions.She joins the fray with her horn charged with magic.
>Anon gets fed up, gets his slipper and slap NMM so hard she separates from Luna and forms a new body of her own.
>"Y-YOU DAR-"
>"Sit down and eat or Im going to slap you so hard you'll turn in to the 7th element of harmony."
>"Y-Yes Daddy."
>"Well It seems I have a new darling daughter. We'll discuss how you'll fit in and your punishment for turning Luna against your big sister."
>"I-I understand Daddy."
>"Please pass the Salt. Hon"
>Something something RGRE.

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>>29705353
Yes. Listen to yourself, what are you gonna do when theres an opportunity to return on the air?

>>29705368
What the fuck are you talking about?

>>29705379
Remember when this motherfucker was without a doubt THE main antagonist of Discord?

>>29705364
kek

>>29705388
????
The words you're using make sense individually, but fail spectacularly at being a coherent sentence.

>>29704843
Tirek and Discord was a coinflip for son.
Honestly at first I was going to have Anon be the base of the Starswirl legend. Something like he made a mobile out of the stars for the sisters or something big but unnecessary that eventually got attributed to a unicorn since everyone who knew about Anon was dead or not mentioning Anon.

But I figured Anon being the father of all immortals while being the foundation upon which all modern magic is based went a bit too close to giving him anime bullshit powers on the meter of wish fulfillment.

Fuck if this prompt gets anymore detailed I may end up writing the thing myself.

>>29705332
Max? Yes please.

>>29705527
Isn't Max a terrifying, scarred mess of a beast now?

>>29705530
From what I can see, Max did kill human.

>>29705537
Pretty sure he's either killed or fucked up more than a human or two.

>>29705541
No big surprise about McDonald's employment.

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>Anon has not found his groove in Equestria
>months after winding up in a new world with no way home, his attempts to integrate and make his way keep running up against the horsey notions of what a stallion is and isn't capable of
>with no applicable skill set to the level of technology they have, his immediate option would be manual labor, which most mares are reluctant to if not outright refuse to let him do
>scraping by week to week, the ponies keep telling him he should try to get a job in a kitchen
>one problem: his ability to cook begins and ends with a mighty struggle to not become bored when something is on the stove and forget it long enough that it burns
>kicking his can down the road one afternoon, he watches some unicorns assembling a building with magic
>and then the epiphany
>magic is complete bullshit
>therefore, bullshit must be magic
>and he knows just how to apply it to the culinary trade
>calling upon a childhood filled with Dahl, he musters the spirit of Willy Wonka and slaps together some nonsense in a crockpot that was three parts sugar, two parts random rubbish, and six parts puns that made only half-sense
>lo and behold, he concocts the most insane but amazing candies seen in generations

>Bon Bon has been in a rut, romance-wise
>she's fairly picky, wanting to hold out for a stallion that has as much passion for the confectionary arts as she does
>the pickings are pretty slim out in Ponyville though, with them either being married already like Mr. Cake or a bit light in the fetlocks like Caramel
>soon word spreads of the wonderdiffilus candies being produced by the town's resident charity case
>ever the critic of others in the craft, she tries a gummy everlasting ponut
>itsfullofstars.apng
>she was going to get that human to love her, oh yes she was.

>meanwhile, a certain pink pony is going increasingly crazy, unable to determine the composition of these incredible human treats even with the the help of the Sense
>*slugworth intensifies*

>>29705607
Willy Wonkanon in RGRE when?

>>29705332
>>29705353
There are so many problems with Your Human and You it's not even funny

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>>29705717
Still a good read.

>>29705728
Maybe someone like LAP can "fix" it like he did with Xenophilia

>>29705717

Like the start where the main character's thought process was so damn retarded? "They're treating me like an animal, so I'll act like a fucking animal!"

That immediately made me close out and wander off to find something better written to read.

>>29705739
or the fact that the author had to take away his voice to make the premise even work. It felt so contrived. I was kinda hoping that Mrs. Cake was going to try holding him down and molest him but I guess that never came to pass

>>29705738
THIS! Our LAP will bring harmony to 2 world.

>>29705739
>character's thought process was so damn retarded
I will say, creepy? murder? No ideas.

>>29705461
>Tirek and Discord were both Anon's sons
>They'd always gotten along
>Discord could understand Celly and Lulu turning on him, he antagonized them, they antagonized back, and so it went
>Brothers and sisters are just natural enemies like that

>But Tirek?
>His one and only Bro?
>That was a betrayal that really stung.

>>29705607
Wait, wasn't Slugworth actually an employee of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, and one of the tests he sets up to find his successor?

>>29705770
Basically raised hell on Twilight, his "owner". Acting like a bad pet. Shitting on the rug, fucking shit up in her library, being a general shit, really.

>>29705820
Yes, but most people are blindingly retarded. Half of the world has an IQ below ~95-100

>>29705770
He thought "well golly gee, these ponies are treating me like an animal so I guess I'll just act like one" and took a shit on Twilight's carpet.

>>29705820
That morality test guy was a fake and wasn't in the book in the first place. The real Slugworth is Wonka's chief rival in the industry, and had set up spies in prior years to get recipes.

>>29705839
And it's such a shame because that rug really tied the room together.

>>29705438
back to the paaaast...

>>29705997
There was no opportunity, there hasn't been one in years.. I don't even think people miss me.

>>29705999
There's no way home. There's nothing to fight for.

>>29706001
Show yourself samurai, so you can die!

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>>29706014
You're wrong. I'll make it.

>>29703748
>>29703801
>>29703841
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBS!

>>29706073
>You're pony the weeeeb
>Ask Anon-senpai want to chu-chu me
>He say no
>I kill myself

>>29704338
that'll be awkward when Anon has to go to pony prison and face off with Cerberus to talk to his son

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>>29705364

>All of Anon's direct offspring and descendants fear the wrath of The Slipper
>It is a weapon surpassing the Elements of Harmony in its power
>Even those who have never been on The Slipper's business end instinctually fear it's sting
>Chrysalis tries to conquer Equestria again?
>Anon uses The Slipper, and she turns into pic related
>Tirek tries to steal everyone's magic again?
>Anon uses The Slipper, and Tirek gets the dark magic literally smacked out of him
>Even people who aren't related to Anon get The Slipper
>Starlight learns right away why messing with time is a bad idea
>Because Anon will be there, and he will use The Slipper on the offender while giving them a lecture about not fucking with the timeline

Anon is like the RGRE version of a stereotypical Mexican grandmother.

>>29705332
this

>>29706267
>anon is a south east asian mom

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>>29704852

>>29705109
Rainbow is a rare hybrid of 3/4 pegasus and 1/4 earth pony. The extra muscles from her earth pony heritage give her more powerful wings and greater control... and also a plumper ass that you can just sink your hands into and SQUEEZE

>>29705152
I understood that reference.

>>29706306

>Anon constantly asks Celestia, Luna, Chrysalis, and Twilight when they're finally going to settle down and start having foals of their own
"You girls should be more like Cadence. She found a good stallion and Flurry is a beautiful foal. Although they should really work on giving her some siblings."

>>29705717
I know right
>our Human and You
Worst fic with worst Mary Sue human protagonist.

>Twilight kills dozens of humans over and over in an experiment to try and see if they can become sapient
100% in character 10/10
>human becomes super genius who has magic and can float a bunch of objects around his head and calls Twilight "mother"

It's such shit.

>>29705748
Turns out that there are tons of ways to tell if something is sapient (or to at least show someone that a creature is more intelligent than an animal) and the amount of hamstringing you have to do to take those all away just fucking kills the story.

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>>29705873

>>29706267
>>Starlight learns right away why messing with time is a bad idea
>>Because Anon will be there, and he will use The Slipper on the offender while giving them a lecture about not fucking with the timeline
No, multiple versions of Anon from different timelines get together and smack Starlight, each with their own slippers.

>>29706435

Even better. Good thinking Anon.

>>29706435
>>29706454
I wonder if one of those alternate Anons came from a universe where he lost his children when they were all very young and he keeps looking longingly at Alpha-Anon's grownup children.

>>29706435
>"Starlight don't do this!"
>"Why wouldn't I, Twilight? I will travel back in time and break your friendships apart before they begin!"
>"...If you do that, you'll create another timeline and destroy Equestria!"
"You figured that out yourself? You truly are Celestia's darling student."
>"Starlight, if you make another timelines, you also cause another Slipper to come into existence."
>"... I... ...maybe this can be resolved another way? Preferably without the existence of Probable Slippers?"
*WE WUZ FRIENDS N' SHEIIT*

>29706485
>Implying he didn't just rewrite history
All realities where Anon is the progenitor are actually identical since this will result in the "ideal" universe.
The one where Anon becomes the progenitor of equestrian reality

>>29706488
Don't sleep deprivation and post kids.
This is what happens.

>>29706267
>>29706306
>>29706353
>The Crystal Empire and Equestria are going to have a final clash with Chrysalis' hordes.
>Before the first lines crash into each other.
>NMM's magic signiture could be seen and felt. A dark rift opens.
>They expected NMM to come through and join the festivities, Seeking to feed from the dark emotions in the battleground.
>Anon steps from the portal wearing his bathrobe with a very sleepy and grumpy look on his face.
>"See Daddy, They're going to war. Oh no since the changelings are Crystal's children, that makes them your GRANDCHILDREN. Looks like you're going to need TWO slippers for this."
>Each armies immediately sends envoys waving a white flag into the middle of the clearing.
>"G-good Morning Grandfather Anonymous. Queen Chrysalis would like to declare the start of the peacetalks and signing of the treaty."
>"Y-Yes the Changeling Envoy is right. Th-this is just a ceremonial showing of..uh. strength. I mean laying down of Arms. Like P-princess Celestia Instructed.
>"Tell dear Chryssi and Celly this. You have until lunch to settle this. No Cakes for 2 weeks, No servants/drones to do chores for a month and they are to report to Princess Sparkle in Ponyville for friendship Lessons."
>Anonymous shambles towards the dark rift while NMM flashes the armies with a massive finger in the sky.

>>29706565
This is fucking amazing.

>>29705738
LaP fixed Xenophilia?

>>29706653
Yup. Started writing a story where Anon's Equestria finds Lero's Equestria and Anon spends most of his time petting ponies and getting spooped.

http://pastebin.com/gXajdBnk

>>29706666
THE DIGITS ARE REAL FUCKERS!

>>29705717
Yeah and its another Fuck Humanity I got Pone Waifu. God damn that (Love) Scene was disgusting and ruined the entire foundation for the relationship.

Also the author blatantly telling people that Max is going to be the only Earth Human left and there will be a SoL after the story ruins the whole point of there being a story.

God damn, can we have one human protagonist who doesn't pound the stench crevice of a horse for once?!

>Slutty Anon lays it on thick
>Like thicker than Twilight's flank thick
>He flirts with any mare he sees and does everything he can to rile them up
>When it comes down to it he wont sleep with them though
>He teases them with the idea and then yanks it away
>He doesn't do it because he is cruel
>He does it because he is into that sweet sweet >rape

>>29706729
You must fuck the horse pussy, Anon.

>>29706790
No I do not, especially in a world where I will be treated like a pet and or second class citizen. Sex is great, but freedom is glorious.

>>29706821
You're talking about Max-verse, right?

>Anon is a stuntman
>He is fully prepared to be on fire walk, and fall, remain on fire for a few moments, and be put out.
>Once lit, He barely sees anything due to a blinding light, but knows the path he has to go and follows it

>Be celestia
>Be the most tedious day of the year
>Bucking grand galloping galla
>You look to your left
>You can see the cake right bucking there, and NO ONE is eating it
>It could ALL be yours, but NO
>Bucking meet and greets
>to your right a blinding light
>Seconds later, some ponies are rushing in screaming,
>An orange glow
>Something is on fire and walking in, leaving a trail of fiery hoof steps behind it.
>Is it ok?
>You panic a bit and magic up water just as it falls
>You hope its ok

>3
>2
>1
>Ok now the fire crew should be rushing tward you to put you out
>And on cue, you feel something hit you
>Not on cue its heavy and you could swear its a massive amount of water
>The fuck?
>You look up and are able to see, no on fire
>You stand up and check everywhere
>Still no fire
>Sigh of relief, you look around
>Hundreds of mini and 2 normal horses are looking at you
>all pastel

>Be celeistia
>Ok, now you get to do something and not sit here greeting ponies
>"God dammit I fucking died didn't I"
>Well, 'do you speak equestrian' is off the list of questions,
>Easily the best GGG in years.

Can't think of more, just thought of a weird way anon could stumble into equestria

>>29706666
Thanks for the info super satan

Haven't horsed around here in a little while and I found some old writefaggotry I never finished from years back that brought back some nostalgia for me. Thought I might as well dump what I have and either let someone make something out of it or finish it myself if I'm in the mood and if I remember where I was gonna take this in the first place. I might have posted it at one point but I have the tendency to start writing an idea and never posting the shit I write and it was so long ago that I don't even remember if I actually posted it in the first place.

Now that I'm done blogging have some shit I made a long time ago after someone suggested mage/wizard Anon in RGRE.

>You are Anon-
>"Are you listening Anon!?"
"Yeah yeah, Spergle I got the jist of it."
>"Anyway shield spells are based around the hardening of your magical energies into a physical..." Starbutt drones on.
>As you were saying you are Anon, aka Archmage Anonymous, lord of Tower Nymose, Immortal Master of Infinite Spells, founder and principal of the magical college of-
>"Anon!"
>Being interrupted.
>Fucking horses.
>Your titles didn't matter to them, your feats ignored, and yourself massively irritated.
>"Anon!"
>You really didn't need this pitiful excuse of a tutor, nor did you need the guidance or charity of the local powers that be.
>It was honestly more trouble than it was worth in your opinion.
>Plus it opened plenty of opportunities to fuck with said horses
>"Anon!"
>She is still fucking going isn't she.
>You decide to finally grace her with your acknowledgement with a quick wave of your hand.
>"...!" was the only muffled sound of your wanna be teacher could make.
>She kept going on and on about shield spells, something about needed to protect yourself from mares or something, so you decided to show her your proficiency.
>By casting a shield spell around her fat head to keep in the sound.
1/2

>>29707080
>Speaking of which she is still trying to communicate.
>You are fairly sure she is aware of the spell by the color her face is turning.
>A nice shade of uncontrollable rage induced red.
>No wait her face is changing back to purple.
>Maybe she calmed down enough to realize that you don't need to relearn any of this.
>Or maybe she is losing oxygen if the blue face is any indication
>You remembered to make the shield let air in and out right?
>The book horse finally decides to lose consciousness from the lack of oxygen, going limp to the floor.
>Whoops.
>Removing the bubble shield from the air head you quickly check the damage.
>From the your very basic knowledge of horse anatomy you assume she will be fine, maybe a few less brain cells will make her less obnoxious.
>Now for your escape.
>Grabbing your staff from the corner and wrapping your trusty cloak around your body you begin the trek to the exit.
>That crazy bitch made you go all the way up to her god damned bedroom in the top fucking floor of the castle to "learn"
>Sure you could easily jump the distance but last time you used any spells to do that a swarm of pegasi guardsmares swarmed you to keep you from falling to your death.
>It was honestly more trouble than it was worth to get your crotch copped by a group of mares.
>As you roam the corridors you notice one of the only good side of the entire getting dropped into horse land situation.
>The little dragon that looked up to you as a brother.

>>29707090
>Shame he was such a little pussy at the start, but hey you’re working on it.
>Speaking of the faggot he was wearing a pink frilly apron while dusting some random vase that was already sparkling clean.
>Hey you were working on it.
"Hey brat, how’s it going?"
>Spike immediately jumps up dropping not only his duster but the vase.
>Which shatters on the ground on contact.
>"Uh he-hey Anon!"
>Awwww the rosy cheeked baby is trying to hold in his tears.
>You’re not sure if it’s from the vase breaking or the embarrassment but it’s still adorable.
"You wanna go out and start some shit?"
>He flinches a bit at your profanity, but shakes his head.
>"Nn-nah, I i got work I uh need to do here, cleaning stuff..."
>The hallway, besides the shards of pottery, is spotless.
>You could not only eat off it, you could probably host an entire party of nobles to eat off the floor like the dirty pigs they are.
>Did you mention how much you hate those nobles?
>Fuck them.
"Need any help?"
>He tries not to look at the shattered vase which honestly was probably worth more than him, and baby dragons are expensive.
>You know from experience.
>"Nope! I'm good!"
>You really need to play some poker with the kid, work on his bluff.
"Whatever you say kiddo."
>Feeling particularly nice you wave your staff and almost immediatly the vase reforms and fuses back together.
"Smell ya later!"
>"Y-you too!" he calls as you leave to find something to amuse yourself
>You need to age that kid into a fucking giant again.
>That shit was hilarious the first 5 times.
>It will be even more so the 6th.

>>29707093
kek, I wouldn't mind more.

>>29707070
Just doing my job, citizen. Grats on the interesting digits.

>>29707262
No idea if I can or not, I haven't been here in 2-3 years, a bit behind on the memes. If anyone else wants to continue off it feel free.

>>29707294
Eh. It's nice writing, but "IRL shitposter" Anon has been played to death everywhere else.

>>29707306
I can write other anons, but I just always enjoyed writing that kind of anon. Always let me get into stupid situations that were fun for me to write.

>>29707327
Fair enough, shitposter-Anon was fun while he lasted.

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How about a comfy story about Anon's marefriend working up the nerve to propose to him

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>>29707436
yes yes yes

>>29706835
>anon appearing on fire

>Celestia summons Anon as a diplomat for his world.
>Millions of possibilities rush through her head, will he be nice? Rude? Good? Evil? Happy? Sad?
>Spell finishes, Anon is about to appear.
>She doesn't expect him to arive on fire.
>He probably didn't expect it either, based on his agonized screaming.

>>29707514
There is a special place in my sides for entrances that are the worst way to enter, time to enter, or scenario to enter ever.

My personal favorite right now is anon is bugged and stabbed many times, gets shit out into equestria 3 feet above celestia when she is sleeping.

>>29707522
Oh god that sounds hilarious, got a link?

>>29707436
>You are Rainbow Dash, and you are browsing a big dumb fancy Canterlot jewelry store.
>You and your coltfriend, Anon, have gotten pretty serious.
>You've found yourself working hard so that you can get home to him as fast as possible.
>You actually enjoy waking up before noon on your days off since it leads to an hour or two of lazing around in bed, cuddling with Anon.
>You've even caught yourself watching Mrs. and Mr. Cake playing with their foals one day and were surprised at that pang of longing you felt in your chest.
>He just makes you so happy.
>You think it's time to pop the question to Anon.
>You wish that you had thought to ask Twilight what she had found out about human courting rituals, because you have no idea what kind of expensive piece of crap to give to Anon.
>You've looked at pendants; necklaces; horn-rings; bracelets...
>Dammit, and you'd learned to take a deep breath and think things through, too!
>You'd gotten into a big fight with Anon because of some stupid thing you did, all because you made a split-second decision and bucked up in a way that could have been avoided if you had just sat down and thought about it.
>"Miss?"
>A nice salescolt waves you over.
>"Maybe I can be of assistance. Is your mate an earth pony, a pegasus, or a unicorn?"
>UHHHH
>.....maybe you can just present Anon with a primary feather.
>Bastards love primary feathers.

>>29707559
...continue

>>29706653
>fixed
Wait, LaP wrote that? Or did he fix someone else's work?

>>29707534
Its not in a story unless I wrote it right now... well never posted it as it went back burner a while ago., I just like trying to make anons entrance the worst entrance ever, and always find it amusing when someone does.

A few entrances I thought of where just 'when is the last time you want someone to see you' other ones I have thought of were anon jerking it in vr on a laptop, none the wiser that he has teleported on top of a round table with various rulers as he cant see or hear anything.

To another personal favorite where anon gets soap in his eyes, closes them and tries to get it out, opens them, and a pony is now standing less than 3 inches from his junk, with wide eyes and a thoughts of 'dear penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me"

only Issue I have is I cant string thoughts into full stories, every now and then I get enough thoughts for a one shot but that's it.

>>29707569
"Anon!"
>You hop in through Anon's open bedroom window with a blue primary feather in your hooves.
"I got you blue!"
>"D-Dash?"
"Wanna smash?"
>Anon doesn't say anything.
"Please?"

>>29707580
No, he just grabbed the characters and used his own in the story, not only is it more legible, but it actually points out the shit characters in it.
>>29707589
Well, damn. It would be fun to.

>>29707589
>dear penthouse
penthorse

>Pony mating rituals that go over Anon's head

>>29707559
>>29707436

Let's make it even comfier

Anon proposes at the same time his marefriend proposes to him

>>29707629
They briefly argue about who gets to present the ring, then decide to just exchange rings instead

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Any sis got a promt for a shot story?

>Before coming to equestria Anon had been seeing vocal coach for most of his young life
>Before he could start putting his talents to work he was popped into equestria, stopping any career in music he might have had short
>A few years pass, he makes friends, gets a simple job
>Bit of recluse on account of how different he is culturally and physically from literally any neighbor he could have on the planet
>Friends understand but still worry
>The gentle and caring husbando thing is really popular, but he's never going to get a wife if he doesn't apply himself
>The topic of cutie marks and special talents comes up among his friends
>They ask him if he ever felt like a pony does about a singular passion in their life, if he ever felt like he had a special talent
>Anon mentions his budding singing career way back when
>Friends encourage him
>Anon declines out of worry, both from how he might be judged in the limelight and how long it's been since he last seriously sang
>They push a little more
>He admits that he still practices a little in his spare time when he's all alone
>Friendpones are all set, but Anon still isn't very sure
>Big party coming up, friends encourage Anon to perform
>He's not sure, but they're VERY sure
>He decides to do it, if only to acknowledge their trust in him
>Big day comes
>Friendpones set the stage for Anon, impressing upon the fact that this was his first real performance
>Anon comes out on stage, stiff as a board, does little more than name the song before the music starts through the speakers
>Audience finds his vulnerability cute and endearing, they drop their guard and ready themselves to offer 'you tried' kudos at the very least
>Big mistake
>Music is soulful with just a bit of energy
>Anxious wallflower sings a saucy-smooth romance song in perfect tune to the music, the themes of loyalty, love, and vague allusions to sex common to the genre cropping up frequently

>>29707671
>Audience is stunned, and Anon starts to get into things a little more
>Dat chocolate voice
>Dat shoulder jive
>Dat hip rock
>Dat shoulder jive
>Anon has drawn the entirety of party to his location
>Mares take the risk of their foals asking dangerous questions later on about certain cryptic lyrics in an effort to stay and listen
>The song ends, Anon loses his nerve from the silence
>Thanks them for listening in his usual reserved, quiet voice
>As the human is swarmed with instant fans and would-be talent scouts, mostly mares friendpones are now consumed with worry over what they've just unleashed on their quiet male friend
>Music scene is already imploding with the entrance of a massive talent and what is essentially a new genre of music to equestria
>Colts and teen stallions everywhere listen to the song(s) on repeat
>Most fillies do too, but they aren't as publicly enthusiastic about it
>Older Stallions worried over the messages the song conveys, 'think of the children' and etc
>Full grown mares with jobs and firm community reputations all over the continent have that 'special' record that they keep away from the mister and the kids and play when they aren't around
>Sometimes they work up the courage to play it for their significant others
>But only when the kids are out
>It's common to hear Anon's music muffled behind closed doors and drawn curtains
>In such occasions the owners never respond to knocking

>>29707666
Satan wants a prompt.

>Language barrier Anon
>Ponies see clothes as super lewd and try to get Anon to stop wearing them
>Anon is just baffled and wonders why a bunch of tiny horses are trying to steal his clothes
I tried.

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>>29706835

>>29707681
>>29707671

I don't know why, but I picture the song Anon sings as a RGR version of this:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v_y2TCk6IxA

>>29707666
Anon is invited to a conference of races, as ambassador of humankind.

Every race has their reasons for trying to get on his good side.

And that my children is how I met the herd

>>29707755
Kek. I was imagining more old-school RNB, but this works too

Also, checked

Jinora

>>29707093
Any more?

>>29707681
I LIKE IT

>>29707681
>Anon is the equestrian Elvis

>>29707598
No Ronald, your tail is small.

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>>29706565
I need it holy shit

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>>29707093
Hey if you wanna do more Gandalfanon I sure as shit won't stop you

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>>29707436
>"Wait you were serious?"
>tears
shit that hit me hard with the feels like a sack of bricks

>>29708965
>"Thunderlane thought my tail was big."
>"Thunderlane used to lemme smash."
>"Now Thunderlane is smashin' Cloudchaser."
>"Cloudchaser is a hoe."
>"Heck."

>>29709014
Maybe she has self-esteem issues and didn't dare to let herself believe.

>>29707090
>Twilight finds you later
>"C-can you maybe, um, cast that spell when we rut?" She asks, keeping her eyes on the ground and moving one of her front hooves in a circle on the floor.

>>29707755
You have shit taste.

>>29709092
Well fuck after all that you HAVE to marry her and give her a huge family

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>>29705364
Need moar!

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Not done, but I gotta share anyways because kek.

Я тyт, пaнимaишь, кaлымлю кaк ****
A Дымoк-тo мoй, вcё ****** пoдчиcтyю!

>>29709591
o-oh my

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>>29709630
o-oh your

>>29709591
She's a big pone

>>29709083
It's like walking, but up....
Nice guys finish last. Go get her, Ronald.

>>29709266
at LEAST 8 children

>>29709947
For me_

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>>29709991
Yes, at least. A number everyone should strive for with their waifu.

>>29710107
Would you make love to your wife in the missionary position for the purpose of creating children?

>>29710142
ew. gay

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>>29710142
You degenerate.

>>29710158
>>29710167
While holding her hooves

>>29708902
>Years later.
>Be Bombshell.
>You're riding with your sis Flurry.
>It's quite and a bit awkward ridding in her carriage.
>You decided to turn on her record player.
>Anon starts playing.
>You give her a deadpan look.
"You DO know Anonymous is dead right?"
>"No Anonymous is not dead, he just went home."
>Then you both go blow up a roach.
>Also known as Nyx.

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>>29710142
Yeah for the first foal.
Each foal will be conceived in a different way.

>>29710209
Ooooo, that's creative.

>>29710158
>>29710167
>>29710193
Looking her in the eyes

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>>29710237
telling her you love her

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>>29710209
>>29710237
>>29710290
>>29710193
>>29710142
This is a safe for work board you degenerates!

>>29710305
Maybe even cuddling afterward

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>>29710305
Cuddling to sleep in the afterglow.

If ghouls doesn't update soon I'm gonna have withdrawals

>>29710572
Ghouls takes a long time to update, Anon. Especially when his updates take up a quarter of the thread.

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>>29710305
>>29710332
>>29710454
Stop, you guys. I'm sitting alone in my house right now and I don't need these feels. W-Would you whisper sweet nothings in her ear, making promises and assuring each other of the love between you?

>>29710204
>"No Anonymous is not dead, he just went home."
>Actually went home, to Crstal Palace where he lives immortally with Twilight in a private seluded wing..

>>29710911
I would nibble at her ear and rub her belly

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>>29710911
>>29710995
While softly telling her how beautiful our foals will be

>>29710911
>>29710995
>>29711236
This thread is supposed to be about wacky sexist mare shenanigans. I didn't ask for these feels

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>>29711290
>come in for fun
>instead get pain

>>29711236
Then kiss her goodnight and drift off to sleep

>>29707671
>>29707681
FUND IT!

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>>29710995
>>29711236
>>29711645
You're killing me, man. I can't do this.

>>29707681
I LOVE IT!

>>29707671
>>29707681
https://youtu.be/a_XgQhMPeEQ

This feels appropriate.

bedtime bump luv u 5eva rgre bc 4eva 2 short

>>29712468
Asleep

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>>29712488

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>>29712507
oh u

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Why aren't you sleeping with your waifu? Don't let her sleep alone in a cold bed, warm her up.

(I've seen this before but I like the idea of it and want a writefag on it)

>Mares like stallions with a little extra padding on them. More mass to pad the ass, etc.
>Anon tries to lose weight, but is thwarted at every turn by mares wanting him to stay thicc.
>Namely, sneaking him pastries when he's trying to stay vigilant against carbs, giving him bad weight loss tips, etc.
>/fit/ mares try to make him a trophy horsebando.

>>29712787
I would Anon but we live in different worlds

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>>29712787
>lie awake in bed
>stare up at the ceiling fan in the darkness
>reach out to my side and feel only empty bed
I wish ill upon you, some real bad fuckin ill.

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>>29712886
I'm so apathetic nowadays I can't even remember what being sad feels like.

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>>29706332
>Rainbow with BREEDING HIPS
UNF

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Have a cute little Seashell. :3

>>29706565
This was surprisingly kek worthy.

>>29713052
Why is one leg longer by like 1/3?