RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>29683306
Twilight Sparkle got exposed to Gamma Radiation?

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>>29683306

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ITS TOO LATE, ITS HAPPENING

YOU CAN'T STOP IT

>>29683306
>Day flank
Jesus Christ anon!

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>>29683306
Nice Edition.

>>29683326
>Muscles
OH NOOOOOO

>>29683249
>>29682856

>Monogamists flee en mass to the Crystal Empire to avoid persecution, including Anon and his waifu as well as the Cakes
>Anon gets pissed when he learns Celestia threatening economic sanctions and rallies the Crystal Ponies and former Equestrians against the Diarchy
"Crystal Ponies! For over a thousand years you were made slaves by Sombra, and now someone else seeks to control you again! To erase everything about your culture that makes it beautiful! Monogamists, this is the only place where you're allowed to live in peace! Do not let Equestria steal your FREEDOM!"
>Celestia soon receives a letter of the Crystal Empire's Secession from the rest of Equestria

>>29683306
Does this count as anthro?

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>>29683333
Check

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>>29683326
Bring it fag

>>29683353
Oh look! A retard with a autism.

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>>29683357

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>>29683326
Rekt time

>Anon is hanging out with poner
>They end up roughhousing
>She forgets for a moment that he's a sweet little colt that needs to be coddled and protected
>Cocks her back legs for a good buck to the gut
>Misses his gut
>Her blood runs ice cold as he screams in pain
>She just committed the greatest sin a mare can do
>She's ostracised by the everypony, and treated like a leper
>She sneaks past the protective mares trying to keep her away from his house to visit him
>While he holds an ice pack against his swollen balls, she tries to convince him to tell everyone that forceful testicular contact is a form of greeting on Earth

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>>29683326

>>29683357
>Word Crimes

>>29683199
>>29683280
>>29683287
>>29683293
>>29683298
>>29683304
Anon has a rather (un)fortunate day with all this happening to him.
What to do?

>>29683339
>The Equestrian military is mobilized to occupy the Crystal Empire
>Couples are split up, stallions are assigned to herds of royal guardsmares, while their mares are sent to reeducation camps
>Cadance and Shining Armor are turned to stone, and placed on opposite sides of the palace as an example

>>29683403
That comedy trope where he runs around trying to spend time with all of them without them finding out

>>29683403
It's a sign that Anon needs to herd all the Mane 6

Surely this will lead to even more Gala Shenanigans, much to Celestia's enjoyment.

>>29683403
have them duke it out in a yu-gi-oh tournament for the right to ask you to the gala

>>29683403
Form a herd with the mane 6. Perfect herd. Best herd.
>Elements of Harmony
>Strong to protect you (even if you don't need it, it puts their minds at ease)
>7 sources of income means the 7 of you will never hurt for money
>Cuddling 6 soft mares each night

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>>29683438

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>>29683421

>Anon is one of said stallions assigned to herds of royal guardsmares
>Although it's less a herd and more to monitor him and keep him from being monogamous
>Anon isn't allowed to just break up with them, because obviously he'd go back to his waifu and be a filthy monogamist
>He mostly ignored his 'herd' and pretends they don't exist most of the time
>While they see him as a poor colt who's been brainwashed and needs to be shown what a real relationship is like
>He refuses to break, not when he's lived under the doctrine of pic related for his entire life

>>29683474
>Anon organizes a males-only resistance movement
>Takes at least 30 minutes getting ready before going out
>Dinner is always slightly over or under cooked
>Always 'has a headache' when his mares want cuddles

>>29683377
terrible fetish

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>>29683461
hhhnggg

That Fluttershy man.

>>29683461
That Fluttershy is totally gonna blow Anon after he has fallen asleep.

>>29683508

Even better, let's get Greek theatrical up in here

>Stallions refuse to cook at all, and don't willingly engage in any sort of physical affection with their forced herds
>That means no cuddling, no booping, no kissing, no sex, and DEFINITELY no hoof-holding

I want to see an RGRE version of Lysistrata.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysistrata

>>29683512
Not everything is supposed to be fetishistic, Anon. Adam Sandler movies feature a lot of slapdick comedy, and they aren't considered niche fetish porn.

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>>29683474
>Anon has one picture collage that he keeps hidden from the mares
>Sitting at the bottom of a desk drawer, covered with random crap that he can easily move aside
>Looking at it keeps him strong
Replace pictures with waifu at will

>>29683378
Kek

>>29683601

>Eventually, enough time passes that it is determined that Anon won't 'relapse' into monogamist behavior
>He's given the option to keep his forced herd as a real herd, but he declines every single one of them.
>He stays alone for a while, searching for his waifu
>He finds her, but the reeducation camps worked perfectly.
>She's a devout hater of monogamy now
>She refuses to even go near him unless he agrees to form a herd.

This is somehow worse than Glimmer and her mind magic bullshit.

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>>29683710

>>29683773
b-but thighs

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>>29683710
>>She's a devout hater of monogamy now
>>She refuses to even go near him unless he agrees to form a herd.
SHE WOULD NEVER

>>29683710
>>29683798
>Unless you have sex with my friend as well as me, I refuse to even look at you.
There comes a limit to what a man will do.
Sometimes society wins, especially if the ponos agrees with society.

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>>29683315
>Defined muscles are seen as coltish since biologically stallions are physically stronger than mares.
>Mares are supposed to have a small layer of fat over their muscles to make them softer for stallions
>Unicorns have it the worst since they have the smallest frames any fitness will quickly tone their muscles
>This is why Twilight and Rarity gorge themselves
>Their sleek defined bodies are marks of shame
>Pinkie on the other hand looks like a Roaman goddess

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>>29683710
>The mares of the Crystal Empire have been reeducated and turned into polygamists
>They underestimate stallion's intuition
>The stallionsof the Crystal Empire come together to form the biggest herd in history, made up solely of males, leaving the mares with only one option
>They join the herd, move in with their former monogamous partners, and live happily ever after
>Celestia's face when the entire Crystal Empire demands herding tax breaks

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>>29683791
You raise a good point.

>>29683838
>It goes straight to your thighs. Then you blow up.

>>29683791
thighs is fine, it's the re-education camps/waifu refuses to even look at you anymore bit that's horrible.

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>>29683827
>Unicorns have it the worst

Oh you sweet summer child...

>>29683835

You do realize there would probably be laws that specifically define what a herd constitutes, right?

>The minimum requirements for a herd are one stallion and at least two mares.

So that wouldn't work

>>29683849
There are no Krabby Patties in Equestria, Spongebob

You'll have to go talk to the Seaponies if you want them

>>29683853
Why is that so fucking hot?

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>>29683710
>>29683798
It's at this point I'd probably say "fuck it" and leave Equestria.

>Little does Celestia know that the other nations decided to oppose her after what she did to the Crystal Empire.
>All because they wouldn't conform to Celestia's fetish.
>Celestia finds out too late that the Tree of Harmony/Rainbow Power agrees with them.

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>>29683827
>>Unicorns have it the worst since they have the smallest frames any fitness will quickly tone their muscles
ya wot
you mean pegasi right

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>>29683791
>boner calling me
Ehh ya

>"Anon's depression is obviously linked to gender dysphoria."
>"He says he feels emaresculated all the time!"
>"Poor Anon is just a mare trapped in a weird alien colt's body."
>"Are you even listening, Dash?"
>Dash is imagining Anon's colty look with a pussy instead of a dick

>>29683853
>You are Anon
>You are at the beach with royalty.
>You briefly wonder to yourself why the princesses even bother to wear those bikini bottoms since they never actually ever wear clothes under normal circumstances.
>It isn't until Luna peers at you over her sunglasses, winks, and then uses her magic to slowly peel the bottoms away from her puffy lips that you understand why.

>>29683306
That bimbo mare.

>>29683868
Her fetish? What, law?

>>29683897
It's to avoid sandy vagina.

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>>29683853
>Soft plush behinds
>Round hugable tum tums
>tfw now matter how many cartons of ice cream you eat you will never have a body like this.

>>29683868

>Celestia gets banished to the Sun
>1000 years later, she is thought of as just a bedtime story to scare unruly foals like Nightmare Moon

>>29683306
That is quite a lot of thigh, there.

>>29683856
Princess Cadance supports all types of love. Same-sex herding was legal within a week of her ascension.

>>29683791
>>29683838
>>29683889
Don't push thighs too far, we all know what happend's

>>29683868
>Anon goes to Griffinstone
>Gets pretty Bird Waifu
>Lives in cozy nest cabin
> Baby chicklets are better than whorse spawn
>Anon lives happily ever after, picks up Banjo playing

>>29683868
>Abandoning your waifu
>Ever
You never actually loved her.

>>29683923

You know that would probably be true if RGRE was canon, because Princess of Love and all.

>>29683853
Can't wait for all the fat feminists wearing those while talking about sexism

>>29683929
The autists get upset, right?

>>29683853
Without the make up and hair those swimsuits will just look old school. Horribly tacky old school

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>>29683889

>>29683938
lol the madara fags

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>>29683897
>>You are at the beach with royalty.
Sounds fun.

>>29683306
Twilight's ass is indeed best ass.

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>>29683982
Are you kidding? That pic looks like shit.

At least post a better one.

>>29683992
Since I'm also a artist, i know some of them.

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>>29683961
Google gave me this image when I looked up madara.

>>29684015
so where did you get the...picture at the end?

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>>29683838
>Even with an alicorn metabolism, Twilight still has a bit of pudge on her behind.
>She worries over your opinion constantly, because what male wants to be seen with a fatty? Being royalty can only keep a nice stallion around for so long...
>She has no idea you have to think unsexy thoughts while behind her to keep control of yourself.
>If you didn't, there would be nothing stopping you from tearing your pants off, hooking your arms around those tantalizing thighs, and smashing that ass until someone's pelvis breaks.

>>29684015
Madara confirmed ass man.

>>29684026

>Weeks later, Twilight's doubts have been removed, and she's even pregnant!
>Unfortunately she has to wear a pelvic cast for a for few weeks.

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>>29683315
Don't make her angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry.

>>29684058
Ahh fetish`

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>>29684026

>>29683306
Would Twilight let me put my dick between her thighs?

>Anon arrives in Equestria
>Bon Bon wants to introduce him to Lyra, because she's a filthy, shut-in humaboo, and could really use a good fucking
>Lyra is out buying some oats or whatever, so Bon Bon offers him a seat and goes to make some tea while they wait for her
>He starts snooping immediately
>Finds Lyra's room
>MLH posters on the wall
>A cum-stained Anonymous™ daki sits on her unmade bed
>A collection of human dildos of varying sizes and colors sits on her nightstand alongside an industrial-size bottle of E-Z access anal lube
>Worst of all, she left her WIP fanfiction out in her desk
>"Bon Bon, is all of this yours?"
>...
>Lyra's her sis, and she really needs this...
"Yeah, heh, I'm kinda, you know, obsessed with humans..."
>Anon smiles
>"That's kinda hot."
>Anon's totally into Bon Bon now
>And Lyra's pissed
>"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO SISTERS BEFORE MISTERS, BONNIE?"

>>29684070
When you go for the boop and get sucked in instead...

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>>29684094
This is what happens when you try to boop a mare in heat.

>>29684098
>>29684084
>>29684070
i can't say i'm not wondering about Twilight Sparkle's real name, you know, research

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>>29684026
I'm only interested in Fluttershy's plush behind.

>>29684084
In the real story is worse because he raped her.

>>29684058
"Gee Twi, you're cute when you're mad!"
>Hospital.

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>>29684084

>>29684121
It's why Fluttershy doesn't fly very much. Booty game too strong. Instead, she sits on Anon's shoulder and he carries her around.

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>>29684121
Nothing about the other end interests you at all?

>>29684121
Midget porn, the beginning.

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>>29684149

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>>29684149
Wait, you mean like staring into her eyes while taking her virginity, belly to belly?

>>29684149
>Oral skills in a mare are highly sought after in the male population due to the number of mares who just plain don't like going down on a guy
>Anon had the same expectations back home and is eager to go down on his mares
>Doesn't have to be asked; doesn't only do it on special occasions
>Anon's marefriend brags that sometimes she wakes up to the sensation of cumming

>>29684084
>FILLIES
>BEFORE
>WILLIES

>>29683306
>SnakeTwi will never tear a hole in her latex suit during heat reveling her marepussy and ponut.
>Demanding you to rut her.

>>29684166
O-Or talking to her about your future together?

>>29684183
Shit, that's pretty good. Nicely done, Anon.

>>29684185
>Her sweaty marepussy and ponut which are radiating heat

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>>29684192

>>29684026
>Being royalty can only keep a nice stallion around for so long...

These stallions are something else I tell ya. I can understand being a fan of tiny behinds. You do you ya know.

But literal royalty wants your gold digging ass (because what else would you be after you fucking poofs?), and that's not enough for you?

Does a Y Chromosome just somehow automagically result in retardation in Equestria? Is Bombshell actually really smart, compared to the vast majority of Stallions in the world? Are colts smart and then get dumber when they hit horse puberty?

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>>29684149

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>>29684192
>>29684204
wait no stop

my heart

>>29684185
That fucking hot.

>>29684185
>>29684201
I bet it would feel like a dick sauna.

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>>29684185
>>29684201
Snake Twilight when?

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I should try to find a Twilight edit of this.

>>29684185
I need a green.

>>29684245
We will never see her again

>>29684185
fund this

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>>29684240

Careful what you wish for, Anon...

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>>29684262
>Snek
>Not Snake

>>29683897
Sandyvag is a very, very bad thing.

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>>29684245
Got one better.

>>29684185
I just figured out that what is the difference between this an Snake Twi?

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>>29684213
>Rainbow is so sexually sensitive that just a single hand running over her wings can make her squeal like a loli in a pro-voiced hentai.
>Because of that, she's avoided getting a coltfriend for fear of his reaction and just told tall tales of her sexual exploits.
>She would seem like less of a mare if she had nothing to say... But she would also seem like less of a mare if anyone found out how quickly she bursts in bed.
>There's no good way to go about it.
>But someway, somehow, you and her end up together.
>And she can't delay moving further into the relationship anymore...

>>29684274
I have it but Lyra missing her horn so it triggers my autism.

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>>29683543
Shitty humor, or shitty fetish?
Either way, it's as desirable as running raw human sewage through your sinuses via a neti pot.

>>29684081
Yes We can.

>>29683992
>Not worshipping superior thighs big boss goddess
Welp, stick with your snakes, bro.

>>29684289
Mine is an edited version with a horn.

wish they would stop using "rape" as interchangeable with "sex," otherwise I don't care what they say. It's not like they're hurting anyone.

>>29668048

>Twilight looks a bit peeved, but she seems to dismiss the irritation as she pulls out her map laying it out between the bowls, plates and drinks.
>”We’re here at the town of Hobb’s Knee, the ruins are further to the east past Ol’ Willow’s Tails, once we reach there we’ll need to follow the old roads north east until we reach the ruins. Before we head out everyone is packed right?”
>After a chorus of yes Twilight smiles, “Excellent then let’s pay for the meal and head out!”
>”Finally!” Rainbow exclaims having zipped over to the bar leaving behind a small stack of coins that are still rattling in place as they settle.
>Chuckling at how impatient Rainbow is you follow out after your friends, checking over your own inventory while you walk.
>Skimpy battle suit made of almost skin tight leather?
>Check.
>Simple wooden hammer that looks like a carpenter's mallet?
>Check.
>Rations?
>Check.
>Buckler?
>Check.
>Twilight shouting to arms while the girls let out battle cries?
>C-Oh fuck what?!
>You had just looked at your stuff, yet now you’re out in the middle of a countryside road.
>Your front line, of Fluttershy, Twilight, and Applejack, charge forth at a pack of Timberwolves.
>Pinkie raises a hoof up in the air before calling out a word that is lost in the sound of her lute, as one of the beasties is bodily thrown back by her sick riff.
>Okay, chill out, this must be a simple encounter…
>How the hell are you supposed to monitor their health!?
>Wait, around their bodies you can see a faint outline of colors, most of them are covered in green with small splotches of yellow.
>When Applejack takes a scratch after slamming her axe down into the skull of a timberwolf it clicks, the outlines are their health!
>Taking out your little book you glance down to your first spell, Healing Light.
>Seeing Rarity shout out the name of her spell, incinerating a timberwolf, you follow suit holding a hand out at Applejack.

>>29684334
>Warm sunlight suddenly erupts from your hands coating the girls ahead of you with its light and you can see the yellow fade to green.
>”Thanks Sugarcube!” Applejack calls out with a bloodthirsty grin as she hefts her axe up and goes back to the butcher’s work.

>Nodding to her in return you keep your eyes on the battle as the last four timberwolves fall to your friends.
>Looks like things are tur-
>A shadow from the forest catches your attention.
>Turning to it your eyes widen in alarm as a huge beast shaped like a man, but looking like a timberwolf, sprints at Rarity!
>Your front line is nowhere near close enough to intercept!
>Rainbow’s busy with her bow and has no melee options.
>Your body is already moving by the time these thoughts have been processed.
>Rarity had just started to turn to look at you before you reached her, and raised your buckler up to block the overhead strike from the brute.
>The blow reverberates through your entire frame making you grit your teeth, but you hold steady!
>A sharp intake from Rarity beside you before she screams out her spell, “Inferno!”
>The brute erupts into flames, before it roars back in pain and anger swiping at you both.
>Taking the hit you manage to shield Rarity from the blow before you both hit the ground rolling to a stop.
>Cries of your name and Rarity’s is soon drowned out by the enraged roars of the beast.
>Only for it to suddenly be silenced as five very pissed off mares descended on it.
>Your head is still swimming a bit from the blow, yet you can’t stop smiling.
>You’ve never felt more alive than at this moment or the adrenaline high has yet to wear off.

>>29684340

>”Anon!” The first to reach you is Rarity skidding to a stop beside your supine form. Frantically Rarity begins to run her hooves across your frame trying to see if there are any wounds.
>A couple of bruises are all that you have to show from your encounter. Each one showing all to well in the slutty belly dancer get up you’re wearing.
>”Darling I’m so sorry that I hadn’t stopped that, that giant brute of a beast from harming you.” Rarity said continuing to fuss over you.
>”You’re not the only one, where did that even come from Twilight? I thought we were going easy on Anon here?” Applejack asks shooting Twilight a frown.
>”I don’t know why that happened! Honest! It was just supposed to be a normal encounter suited for our party’s skill level.” Twilight answers back worry lacing her tone.
“Did you take into account my level versus everyone else?”
>Sitting up, you rub at your ribs feeling tender before muttering Healing Light on yourself.
>As you do the world around you slowly goes grey scale and fuzzy around the edges of your vision.
>The only things with color and definition is your party. Twilight is looking through the thick book eyes rapidly moving back and forth as she reads.
>Waiting for Twilight to find the problem you look back at Rarity.
“So why is the world all grey like this?”
>”Oh, it’s the pause menu when things don’t go to plan and Twilight has to fix something with the world.” Rarity explains.
>Letting out a noise of understanding you stand up, or attempt to only to find yourself stuck in place.
“What the hell?”

>>29683543
I don't think he knows what the word "fetish" means. Maybe it's like how you can call someone a faggot and not mean that they're gay.

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>>29684286
>>Rainbow is so sexually sensitive that just a single hand running over her wings can make her squeal like a loli in a pro-voiced hentai.
That sounds cute as fuck. I'd spend hours just petting her.

>>29684347
>”That’s one of the problems with the pause menu, we’re not allowed to actually move from our place in the world. Otherwise the spell goes rather wonky.” Rarity answers you before you start to truly freak out.
>”Oh! It was really fun when we tried it out,” Pinkie said, nearly vibrating in place from standing still, “I never knew that our bodies could fly that high up into the sky if we dialed a giant’s strength to the max value!”
>”Quite, oh Twilight looks to have found the problem. What’s wrong with the spell Darling?” Rarity asks as Twilight closes her book before it erupts into motes of light that disappear into thin air.
>The world slowly returns to color as Twilight takes a deep breath, “I don’t know what’s wrong with the spell.”
>”Sugarcube, are you sure you don’t know?” Applejack asks scratching at her freshly healed wounds.
>”Yes I’m sure. I triple checked the spell and everything is running smoothly. I can’t find anything that would explain that monster appearing.” Twilight said stress coloring her tone.
>”Well no matter what comes our way I’ll bet we can beat it!” Rainbow boasts kicking her front hooves with vigor.
>Never mind the fact that your whole back line got blind sided by the creature Rainbow.

That's all for now, I have another segment that i just got done with, but I kinda want some others to proof read it a bit. So I don't have as many errors in grammar and the like. I'm not going to slow or anything am I? I rather like doing this world building thing so far with this specific piece of magic.

>>29683856
Then every male in the Empire, herding together with just 2 mares who're suffering from incurable, fatal, noncontagious/nontransferable, genetic disorders and only have a month to live.

Even if a herd member dies, it's still a valid herd because death of a member is an exception to the minimum requirements rule.

>>29684286
Oh god, all of my yes.

>>29684360
Not bad.

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>>29684185

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>>29684359

>>29684373
Ooooooo

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>>29684373
>Big boss's ass
You're good son.

>>29684374
And then she pounced.

>>29684389

Unrelated, but holy SHIT I have not seen that reaction image in particular since 2012 or 2013

>>29684373
>something something american thighs

>>29684404
>something something all night long

>>29684404
>>29684412
>something something RGRE

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>>29684286
Stop giving me erections, Anon.

>>29683461
>AJ is sensitive about her posterior
>Earth Pony genetics, and a life of hard work, have given her childbearing hips and applebucking thighs
>And you can bounce a bit off her bountiful booty
>Only generous helpings of Granny's signature apple pie and country cooking, grant her a thin sheen of cushion over those powerful muscles.

>She gets embarrassed when Anon pays special attention to them, especially when her herdmates can see.

>>29684438
>>She gets embarrassed when Anon pays special attention to them, especially when her herdmates can see.
see
>>29684419

>>29684185
>You tease her first by hot dogging her and fucking her thighs.
>Twi gets annoyed and uses her magic to hold your pelvis and guide it to her marepussy.

>>29684286
>Sensitive wings cliche
>Can somehow fly without every gust of wind making her making her fall out the sky while orgasming

>>29683938
We have to ship them back to /fpt/.
>>29683256

>>29684461
They're sensitive to applied pressure.

>>29684360
You're doing good work, child.

>>29684466
>Nice thighs = morbidly obese pone
Sure thing. Are you that guy a few posts back that can't tell the difference between a fetish and an Adam Sandler movie?

>>29684472
How the fuck is air flowing over the wings any different than anon stroking them?

>>29684455
Top kek, true true true.

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>>29684340
>>You’ve never felt more alive than at this moment or the adrenaline high has yet to wear off.
You have to admit, playing the game like that would be pretty fucking awesome.

>>29684495
oops replied to wrong anon

>>29684268
Wrong.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snek

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I am dead tired but need to post this eventually.
Prepare for autistic horse words.
Continuing from here:
>>29649548

>Honestly you were surprised the mare could make the mail fit as well as it does. Most of the designs in the store were made exclusively for ponies; maybe another quadruped could have fit in them with a little work.
>You however, are no quadruped. Harlequin was by no means an amateur however and within 10 or so minutes she had modified a banded mail to fit your longer torso.
>It hugs your torso closely, lying on top of a padded layer. You insisted it be broad enough to protect you from strikes but Harlequin insisted it "Kept the lithe form of your body visible." You really hope you don't look like the equivalent of a cosplaying weaboo girl.
>You asked for a full helmet with a visor - purely for the crusader aesthetics. However your dream was cut short when you noticed just how little you could see with it on. Open helmet it is you guess.
>The fore-greaves were modified into a rerebrace and a vambrace pretty easily.
>Disappointingly the only gauntlets that were available were made for far thicker Minotaur hands and only had 4 holes for fingers. Harlequin was kind enough to sew an extra finger-cover onto a pair of leather gloves; you also got some thick leather boots. Not the best you guess, but they'll do for now.
>The rear-greaves needed the least modifying and fit on quite snugly now. Much like the armor covering your arms they are strapped on using thick leather straps.
>Unlike your banded mail cuirass they didn't protect your rear too well.
"Guess I just gotta keep my enemies in front of me."
>"I can barely tell were your front is anymore Anon" Twilight says unsure.
>You stare down at the party of mares walking along side you; their faces show differing levels of acceptance.

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>>29684360

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>>29684537
>Pinkie searches you in 360 degrees popping in and around you to inspect all of the various joints and straps... You really hope you never piss her off, she moves far faster than your eyes can track.
>Applejack actually looks impressed. She lets out an enthusiastic whistle. "Well I'll be sugarcube, you sure you can carry all that? Sure you don't want me to take yer pack fer ya?"
>While your armor is heavy, your pack, much like everyone- everypony else's is rather light. It contains rations for the week and water for the day as well as rope and a small tinderbox. Twilight carries a hooded lantern that hangs from her side, currently unlit.
"I'm fine Applejack."
>You strap your mace to your side using the binding attached to the bottom of your cuirass.
"These human muscles were made for heaving heavy armor."
>As a cruel twist of fate you topple sideward after trying to pose like a strongman and land in a small cloud of dust on the ground.
>"Completely ruined it for me, I'm dry as a desert."
>Well at least Dash likes it.
>Twilight helps you off of the ground and you wobble slightly adjusting to the weight and gaining some balance.
>"Enough wasting time girls, we have thieves to deal with. Oh and Anon. If it ever becomes too much to handle, just ask and I'll help carry it. I know colts can tire quickly when doing heavy labor."
>You roll your eyes. But her smile is genuine, maybe she really doesn't realise how unencouraging she sounds.
>You make your way over to the various tanning racks situated outside of what looks like the store Tender told you about.
>A slim Pegasus goes about strapping a recently sliced hide on one of the racks to dry out in the sun.
>Looks like she covers it in some sort of preservation liquid before strapping it down to protect from rot, you're not sure what's in the liquid but you can smell it from over here, it smells like alkaline and chemicals.

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>>29684547
>As you approach you notice Fluttershy take the lead and flutter over to the mare (poorly, with her decently heavy hide armor) as she goes about her job.
>"Um miss. Shouldn't you soak those hides for a couple days before tanning? Applying the preservative now might not be effective. Especially if you leave it to sun-dry."
>Woah. There are many questions you want to ask about this situation. The most pressing of them being why the hell does Fluttershy know how to tan leather?
>The Pegasus tanner mare has a sweet voice. Were it not for the short bow she wears around her back you would assume she was the tanner's daughter.
>"Oh another of the craft" She smiles knowingly. "I would love to soak these hides for about a week or so, I even have an area with a draft to hang them to let them dry slowly."
>Her face changes quickly to an annoyed frown. "I would be using it were it not for the little vagabond problem we're having in town."
>Rarity steps forward to address the mare. "That is what we're here for dear. The Elements of Harmony. At your service."
>She does a small curtsy.
>"You're sure about that? I'd hate to see you end up like the last pack of adventurers that tired taking them down. Stripped of everything but the clothes on their flanks."
>Twilight picks up where Rarity left off. "I assure you ma'am we're no ordinary group of adventurers. >We'll find these thieves and give them justice. We just need your help to deliver it."
>The mare seems impressed by Twilights confidence. Maybe she has a higher charisma score than you though.
>"Hmm. Ok, if you're sure then I'll try to help however I can. What do ya want to know?"
"How about what the thieves stole from you?"
>The mare turns to you surprised. Almost shocked to see you aren't just an armor rack the party bought with them.
>"Oh, well I guess the main things they stole are my hides." She motions you to come closer, so you move your ear to her mouth."

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>>29684553
>She whispers "I have a secret spot up the river a short ways I use to dry my skins" She pauses, looking sadly at the ground. "Or at least, it was secret."
>"I doubt you'd find much there though. The river varies in height and swept through recently in a river flood. Most traces of they would have gone downstream with it."
>You notice Twilight jotting down notes off to your side.
>"Other than that, they managed to make off with one of my prized slings. Specially master crafted and enchanted by a magic gal up in Canterlot."
>Canterlot exists here? Guess this place has a lot of resemblance to Equestria in a way. But you can't help but wonder, how much resemblance?
>"I kept it locked up in the workshop over there."
>She points over to a small wooden building connected to the main shop.
>"I can let ya in and give you some time to look around if ya want?"
>"That would be great" Twilight answers.
>The mare nods curtly and leads you over to the conjoined workshop. She unlocks the oaken door.
>It creeks as it swings open, revealing a typical workshop you'd expect of a tanner. Barrels of preserving liquid, benches for hammering and skinning and hung hides adorn the room.
>"I'll be getting back to work, tell me if you find something hon."
"Will do."
>"Okay girls split up and look for any clues as to where the robbers could have gotten to."
>The mares spread out around the room, filling it quickly.
>You took it upon yourself to follow Twilight and search to western wall.
>Twilight notices and pulls out a chair with her magic.
>"Don't worry about searching Anon. You must be tired with all that armor on. Just take a rest and let us handle this."
>If she didn't always sound so sincere you'd smack her.
>"After all, I know colts can get bored of all this mystery, adventuring stuff anyway."
>With your mace.
>You sigh.

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>>29684547
>"These human muscles were made for heaving heavy armor."
>>As a cruel twist of fate you topple sideward after trying to pose like a strongman and land in a small cloud of dust on the ground.
>>"Completely ruined it for me, I'm dry as a desert."
>>Well at least Dash likes it.

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>>29684557
"C'mon Twilight, I loved experiencing adventures and investigating mysteries back home. It's why I played to begin with."
>"I know Anon. And I'm sure you were great player, I'm just saying game is probably a lot more marely than what you're used to back home. There is no stopping when were in battle and it can hurt a lot too!"
>You are about to reply when you realise that she's not going to be easily convinced by your words. It would be pointless to argue. You're just going to have to prove you're capable at this game with your actions.
>The second you see those thieves you're gonna introduce them to missus Smashy.
>Applejacks voice rings out to your right. "Uh gals, think ah found something.
>The whole party moves to surround what Applejack is looking at.
>A small ovular object lies underneath a workbench.
>You bend down to pick it up and bring it closer to your face for inspection.
>It feels smooth, hard and metallic. A closer look reveals it to be made out of a precious metal. You twirl the object in your hand and watch it shine when it catches the sun.
>"What /is/ that?" Dash comments hovering close to your head.
>You notice a small ridge jutting out on the side and flick it with your thumb.
>Now it becomes abundantly clear that this is a locket as it folds open to reveal a small painting inside.
>It looks like it is of 2 ponies. A mare and a stallion, the mare has a dark coat, her hair a stunning amethyst. The stallion is almost the complete opposite, his fur a pearly while and his mane a dusty blonde.
>They look happy, wearing serene smiles and carrying something between their collective hooves. It looks like a bundle of something, but you can't quite make out what.
>Twilight levitates the locket out of your hand to inspect it closer herself.
>"A pendant? What is this doing here? And why is it missing its chain?"

>>29684286
>Get her in bed
>Cum inside with enough force to squirt past her cervix and splatter in the back of her womb.
>For a brief moment, Rainbow visits Elysium thanks to an orgasm that would break lesser mares.

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>>29684565
>Twilight wears an inquisitive look as she scrutinises the outer shell for any markings. She then turns the locket around and looks at the small work of art within.
>"Neither of these ponies looks like the leatherworker..."
>"Keep searching the room girls and see if you can find anything else. Anon, come with me, we'll ask her about this pendant."
>You nod and lightly step out of the workshop with Twilight and over to the mare now taking a drink from a small leather waterskin.
>The mare's ears flick up and turn to you. She puts the waterskin down on the bench she rested on and stood to greet you.
>"Sooo. Any luck in there?"
"Yeah we-"
>"Sort of. We found this pendant and were wondering if it belonged to you or someone you know maybe?"
>Twilight levitates the locket over to the tanner and lets her scrutinise it.
>The mare looks at the locket confused for a moment before letting out a quick chuckle.
>"Heh, if I owned anything half as valuable as this I'd have hired a cute colt to mare the shop while I'm hunting."
>She plays with the locket, turning it as it glitters in the afternoon glow. A look of surprise crosses her muzzle as the centrepiece flips open however.
>"Woah. Well would you look at that?"
"What's so interesting, they not have many flip-lockets here?"
>"Well for starters no. These are pretty rare finds, usually only ever created on commission. But that's not what I'm referring to."
>"These two ponies in here are Fleethoof and Sweetberry."
>"Uh, and they are?" Twilight asks curiously, flipping open her notebook once more.
>"Local folks. Nicest ponies you'd meet for miles, some of my best customers. Uh, or /were/ some of my best customers."
>You smile.
"Ha, they buy you dry and then skip town?"
>She doesn't share your enthusiasm and keeps a stoic face never taking her eyes off the locket.

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>>29684481
Nope.
But I was responding particularly in regard to this from a few posts up the chain:

>>"Don't push thighs too far, we all know what happend's"

Therefore, my statement regarding shipping them back to fat pony general is accurate.
Thick thighs are fine, but if you go too far we get nasty unfuckable blobs that not even a mother could love.

Pic related.

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>>29684572
>"Nah. They had a mansion on the south side of town, used to make wine from the orchard in the garden. Even gave some to the town every year for heaths warming. Something about 'giving back to the community'. Great ponies. Great parents too, they had 3 fillies."
>You smile falters.
"So what happened?"
>"'Bout a year ago the whole towns in a fuss one night because there's smoke bellowing out of the south side. Everypony tried to get there as fast as they could. But it was far too late. Since it was so late, we didn't notice the fire 'till it had eaten half the house."
>"We put it out as fast as we could. But without proper equipment the pegasi could only do so much. >It was ashes by morning. No one over saw anypony leave the house. And we've never seen any of them since."
>The air hangs a little more thick in you nostrils and your armor seems to slog you down a little more after she spoke.
>The effect on Twilight is similar, expect she looks devastated. She turns to you and quickly flinches, putting on a stern face. The slight crack in her voice betrays her feelings however.
>"S- so do you have any idea how this pendant ended up in your workshop?"
>"'fraid not. I knew them but not enough for them to gift me /this/."
>It's not the best lead but at least it's something.
"Err, you wouldn't happen to know where they lived exactly would you? Enough to give us directions?"
>She tilts her head and nods curtly.

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>>29684577
>An hour and many wrong turns later and you're all lined up by a ruin of a house. It stands a few hundred meters off from the edge of town; most of the surrounding area is comprised of broken fences defending looted, burned and weedy crops.
>The clouds have really started to pick up; they appear to getting darker too. Is there rain scheduled for tonight? Speaking of which it's getting pretty dark in general. How long have you been playing this, When do you go home?
>"She wasn't lying when she said this place was burned to the ground. It doesn't even look like anyone's been here since the incident."
>Twilight takes the lead and directs the party once more.
>"Alright girls. We're looking for any traces of recent activity here. Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash takes the upstairs. The stairs have most likely collapsed and we have no chance at getting up there.
>The two mares salute and flap their way up the building.
>"Applejack, Pinkie, check to see if any of these crops were grown recently or if there are any campsites out there."
>Both mares nod and make their way around the back of the house... Well Applejack walks, Pinkie bounces beside her chatting about becoming the world's next Sherlock Hooves.
>"Rarity you come with me inside the house, we'll check the lower floor. Anon you stay-"
"Don't even try it. I'm going in there too."
>"But what if it's trapped Anon?"
>"Then my human wits will have to save me. I'm here to adventure Twilight, not to sit around while you girls do everything."
>Twilight looks guilty for a moment as her ears fall to cover her face. She nods.
>"Fine, but stay close Anon. This world may not be able to kill you. But it can still hurt you."
>You swallow and put on a hard look.
"Let's go"

>>29684576
Eugh, point taken. Yeah, thick thighs are fine but good god you have to draw a line at literal actual morbid obesity.

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>>29684582
>The large burnt wooden doorway creaks lightly as it is pushed open. When it is mostly open Twilight releases it from her magic. It falls forward onto the ground kicking up soot and dust into the air.
>You all start to cough as the soot enters your airway and pull your inner padding over your mouth like a scarf to protect yourself.
>After you all finish choking you continue into the building slowly, watching your step for any squatting animals. The main hallway in front of you is mostly destroyed; you can see light pouring down from the top of the stairs... Guess there's a hole that goes through the entire house.
>This entire place is darkened with sitting ash. The walls black are coal like, the smell of burnt wood still hangs in the air, bleeding from the walls.
>You see a 2 doors close by, one heavily seared and darkened by flame on the left and one partly covered by debris on the right.
>The hallway continues further past the stairs, but you can see the garden at the end. Honestly you're not sure staying in this house is that good of an idea, it doesn't seem the most structurally sound.
>The tell tale rumble of thunder in the distance and the pitter-patter of rain on the house alert you to the quickly intensifying rain outside.
>Rarity takes the left doorway, nodding at you and Twilight to take the right.
>Rarity tip-toes lightly on her hooves as to avoid smearing soot on her dyed boots as she quietly opens the door with her magic and slides in, closing it behind her.
>You and Twilight take the door on the left. You turn handle in an attempt to open it but find it locked or jammed.
>"Hmmm, I suppose we could-"
>*CRASH*
>You interrupt Twilight as you smash your foot into the lock.

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>>29684591
>You turn to smile cockily at her when you notice something to your right.
>A large pole of wood is coming rapidly towards you from inside the door.
>Twilight ducks quickly and you try to dodge to the side but are sideswiped by the wood and knocked on your back.
"Ah, shit, fuck ass"
>The area the wood grazed stings and throbs. God damn, she wasn't lying when she said this place could hurt.
>"Anon are you okay!"
>Twilight clambers to her hooves and rushes over to you.
"Heh... yeah... peachy, fine.
>You climb slowly to your feet holding your side. As you reach full height you pull your hands away and shake the pain off.
"But whoever set that won't be."
>"Just be careful and stay behind me from now on Anon. I can't just have you getting hurt here."
>You let out the breath you were holding in.
>"C'mon, let's go."
>You poke your head through the door, unable to spot any other traps you step lightly through the door and into the room within.
>Twilight looks unsure but quickly tries to step through when you turn to look at her. You grab her and help her over the rubble covering lower half of the doorway, putting her down next to you.
>"Th- thanks."
>Her face is red and she coughs lightly.
>You think you hear something in the distance but can't quite make it out? Sounded like someone shouting.
>You turn to examine the room you are currently standing in.
>Huh, looks like a main living room. A wooden coffee table lays split in the centre of the room, a huge piece of debris still covering it.
>What is strange is that the room has 2 makeshift beds setup, one large and one rather pitifully small. Simply some sheets- most likely pilfered from somewhere else in the house, setup with some bundled sheets to make a pillow.
>You are about to continue looking around the room when you spot Twilight staring at the beds. Her face looks shocked and saddened.

>>29684597
>Quickly however you see her eyes twitch and narrow, her teeth show themselves and grind and her eyes light with fire. Gears are grinding in her head, but net pleasantly.
>"They're staying here... Theses ponies- these animals are staying in this house. They must have stolen the pendant from here and dropped it..."
>"How DARE they steal from the dead and lie on their bodies!"
>Holy crap you don't think you've ever seen Twilight this angry.
>But you're inclined to agree. Who would steal from this place wilfully?
>... What if they started the fire too? What if this was just a way of lining their pockets at the cost of these ponies lives. You feel your rage building but calm once you see Twilight ready to turn the planet into a sun. Someone has to keep calm.
>The rain outside has picked up, you can hear the thunder close now and the storm heightens outside.
>You look around the room again. It has little in the way of ornaments. Looks like most were stripped after the fire. Except for a single painting that hangs above what's left of a fireplace at the end of the room.
>It is discoloured by heat and covered in ash and soot but you can just barely make out a family. The two ponies from the locket are in the middle and beneath them-
>"EUGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>You hear a glass shattering scream come from behind you that Rarity entered.
>Twilight turns and hops through the door quickly, you follow suit as twilight bashes open the door Rarity entered.
>The room is almost barren. You notice a huge dining table that runs along the length of the room but much like the coffee table it's shattered by debris.
>You notice Rarity breathing heavily against the far wall and both of you rush over to her to check what's wrong with her.
>You kneel next to her and hold her head in your hand as you try to shake her awake.
"Rarity!"

>>29684495
>Because people regularly mistake cold, harsh windflow over their sensitive bits for the pleasing sensation of a warm, soft, fleshy hand's caress.

Come on, faggot.
Are you for real?
(Either I must congratulate you for baiting me hard, or you're legit retarded and rode the short bus to school til graduating at the age of 23.)

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>>29684604
>A hoof feels its way onto your right shoulder and you jolt to the left as your hand shoots to your weapon.
"AHHH"
>Both you and Twilight stare at Fluttershy, her mane is a mess and her fur is matted with ash.
>"Oh, I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
>She says that, yet her own face betrays how scared she is.
>"W- We heard shouting in the garden. Dash went to go check it out. She told me to come get you b- but it was so dark down here and then I heard Rarity scream so I came-"
>You hold a hand to Fluttershy's mouth.
"Shh, calm down."
>She breaths deeply and opens her eyes slowly. She then turns to Rarity.
>"Wh- what's wrong with her."
>Twilight turns back to Rarity to closer examine her.
>She turns her over and pulls 2 small needle-head darts out from her back, a small amount of blood begins to drip out of the wounds down Rarities back.
"Shit, is she okay?"
>"Don't worry Anonymous. Like I said, we're not in danger, she's just passed out. If her vitals were bad the game would immediately eject her."
>Holy shit. How serious of a game are you playing here anyway? The ponies seem so real and all seem to act independently. Ponies live and die here. Where even /are/ you?
>"I can h- help."
>Fluttershy closes her eyes as she lays her hoof on Rarities side. After a moment she starts to chant some unknown words.
>Or are they? They sound so familiar, bright and heavenly. Like a conversation between angels, heard only in snippets from somebody listening from earth.
>The wounds on Rarities back closes and the blood stops flowing. Her breathing seems to pick up and her eyes slowly drift open.
>"Wha- who."
>Fluttershy tries to calm Rarity as she awakens.
>"Shhhh. You're fine."
>Rarity looks confused and dazed as she scans your faces.
>Twilight interjects.
>"You were hit by a trap; looks like it knocked you hit-points to 0 and knocked you unconscious."
>You look amazed at Rarity and then turn to Fluttershy.

>>29684588
That goes beyond mere morbid obesity. That's into deathfat territory.

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>>29684609
"Holy crap Fluttershy, since when can you use magic?"
>She smiles shyly and looks away.
>"I'm a druid anon, I can cast spells a lot like the ones you do."
>"Holy damn, I forgot cleric could cast spells."
>You turn quickly to Rarity and put your hand on her belly.
>...
>Huh.
>You kind of just expected the words would come to you.
>Fluttershy giggles sweetly.
>"Oh Anon, you need to prepare them first. That was the only healing spell I prepared and it was only meant to cure minor wounds."
>You scratch your chin.
>"I don't remember preparing any? Don't we do that early in the morning anyway?"
>Twilight pipes up.
>"You should start with a basic set prepared when you first start playing. Sorry Anon, I don't remember what was prepared for you."
"Damn."
>"As wonderful as your hand feels darling I do believe Dash and the others may need our help"
>"Oh shoot, you're right."
>Twilight takes off through the door.
"Aww, damn."
>You turn to see an uneasy Fluttershy and Rarity barely able to keep on four legs.
>A loud jolt of thunder causes you all to flinch.
>Well, guess if you're going to prove yourself to the party at some point it may as well be now.
>You put on a strong expression and turn to address the two mares.
"Fluttershy stay here and help Rarity up."
>You turn and stand up, ready to leave.
>Fluttershy shouts out behind you.
>"Anon please wait, where are you going?!"
>You turn one last time before you leave the room.
"To teach some thieves how to praise the Sun."

http://pastebin.com/Bgzg2eQu

Criticisms, shitposts and comments encouraged.

>>29684588
Yeah.
There are WAY too many people out there that ruin otherwise-good porn by making the main focus a fucking whale.

>>29684617
Anon, I'm scare.

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>>29684515
>snek meme

>>29684515
>snek no
>snek that is have a bad idea
>snek pls
>snek stop having egg as a nom
urbandictionary are boring.

>>29684360
I'm really liking this

>>29684286
>Go full slow-burning body worship on Rainbow just for the pleasure of seeing her writhe and whine, but not have the will to resist you.
>A gentle rub here, a teasing pinch there, even a drawn out kiss somewhere naughty.
>You are the first person to ever play a pegasus like a fiddle.
>Finally finish her off and get unmarely scream that rattles the window.
>Her friends accidentally see one time.
>They have no idea if they should laugh at Rainbow or be furiously jealous of her.

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>>29683886
Not that anon but nope. Pegasi, having wings to fly, have an insulating layer of fat that, combined with downy feathers, keeps them well insulated from the elements and the cooling effects of flight.

Dash is an abberation to normal pegasi as her body has much less insulating fat and more down. While this means she is lighter, and therefore faster, than nearly all pegasi, she is not as snugglable as the other bird horses, down nothwithsatnding.

This would also explain why her hooves, specifically the frogs, are so sensitive, and therefore gives her a mental "tick" of staying off of them as much as possible.


PINKIE, on the other hand, is a literal walking, talking, snugglenought of such power that only the ridiculously high concentration of sugar in her sweets can keep her at the optimal level of bree-cuddlability.

However, nothing comes close to sunnybuns flankclappers.

>>29684466
>Fat Rainbow Dash using Pinkie Pie as a hammock
KEK

I want anon do a magic trick, so he can get a job.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onoLAlHrAfY

>>29684617
So far I'm not expecting much out of him considering he's come across as nothing but a bumbling idiot so far.

>>29684617
>>29685056
Consider the GM can't remember what they prepared for the role they 'persuaded' him into, that's not entirely his fault.
Also MP systems make more sense than 'memorise this spell which you can only use once then forget unless you memorise it twice to a different memory'.
Personal peeve on that point but if you know something you know it and should be able to use it until you get tired, especially if 'Whoops, I can't remember what spells I gave you, no magic for you today.' is a thing.

>>29684311
All I got from this was Big Boss and Snake.

Venom Snake in RGRE when?

>>29685217
Redheart hasn't been in the show for a while, anon. Just saying.

>>29685241
I...what? What does nurse pone have to do with Snake?

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>>29685254
Nothing at all.

Just an interesting coincidence.

>>29683902
She wrote the law because she has a herding fetish.

>>29684084
>anon hides in her daki until she gets home and goes to bed cuddling it
>feels weird
>he pops out

>>29683306
Fascinating...

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>>29685415
But what if I just want Celestia? Is she going to make me include her sister as well?

>>29684347
>starting Anon off at level 1 instead of at the level of the party
Comfy, have you ever actually played D&D? I assume you haven't, because that is incredibly scummy.

>>29684360
You're writing it like a video game, not like D&D. You should probably just change it to being that if you aren't familiar with D&D.

>>29685448
Of course he's level 1. How could a colt ever be as strong as a mare?

>>29685477
MINUS TWO STRENGTH

>>29683853
....why is no one mentioning that those aren't unicorns?

>>29685148
It's not memory, you doofus. You only have a certain amount of magical energy for the day, and you prepare spells that fit that amount of energy so that you can cast them. It's not that you ever forget your spells, you just can't fire them Willy bully because they have to be prepared beforehand.

>>29685442
Yes. That is her fetish. Especially being chucked by Luna.

>>29685523
It depends a lot on the lore/universe/rulebook you go by.
Dragonlance for instance explicitly states that the complex formulas that consist a spell are consumed in the process of casting.

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>>29685529
>chucked by Luna

>>29685538
>chucked
It's better like this.

>>29685541
>>29685538
>>29685529
This needs fanart
Luna in bondage gear being loaded onto a trebuchet by Celestia

>>29685555
Wait shit scratch that, reverse it

>>29685555
>>29685559
YOU FAILED

>>29685559
>>29685555
How could such glorious digits fail so spectacularly?

>>29685148
>>29685523
Actually, in the original Vancian magic system spells need to be "crafted" and even low level stuff require a lab and complex rituals. The "casting" part is just aiming and unleashing the spell.
Then D&D came and butchered the idea with this concept of "memory slot", because they didn't wanted mage players to be forced to find a magic lab every time they needed spells (nor being able to storage 6 gorillions fireballs if you let them prepare for a month). Typical case of "fuck up the lore until it fit the gameplay".

>>29684572
>"Heh, if I owned anything half as valuable as this I'd have hired a cute colt to mare the shop while I'm hunting."
something is wrong here.

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>>29684245
You silly, this is Twilight

>>29684617
You forgot to take the green off Anon's dialogue a few times, good work otherwise.

>>29685619
Is it that Anon isn't being told to go back to the kitchen? If it isn't, I don't know what it could be.

>>29685448
This, pretty much.
He is going to be carried the entire time and for the next ~ adventures, being they will gain exp equal to or quicker than him regardless of what he does if he doesn't come across Exp potions or something.
Something that takes them a single hit to kill will take him 100/etc.
They don't want him to play according to the way they are behaving, even as a healslut he wouldn't be that good even if he had spells he could use.
If he doesn't think things through rather than doing things the way they want him to he won't be able to do anything other than look sexy.

>>29685658
>>29685619
>>"Heh, if I owned anything half as valuable as this I'd have hired a cute colt to mare the shop while I'm hunting."

>while I'm hunting
>hunting

>Pony going hunting?

that took me entirely too long to notice

>>29683992
Shes shaped like a dick.

>>29684245
>>29684274
Those look like dicks too. They even have the vein.

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>>29685689
>>29685692
i'm noticing a pattern in your posts, anon.

>>29685765
Just someone who doesn't want fags literally shitting up our thread.

>>29685778
Save it for actual gay shitposting, the only thing wrong with those pics you found is that Lyra doesn't have her horn, otherwise, your a fucking idiot.

>>29685783
Maybe you should look at the Lyra one a bit closer.

>>29685805
Its a skin change of the same pic as redheart, and she doesn't have her horn, that's it. Your seeing things mate, you know the faggots on this board aren't subtle, so your worrying over nothing.

>>29685805
>>29685818
Nevermind, I saw her horn, it was just so small I didn't notice it. My bad.

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>>29685823

>>29685831
Yeah yeah, get it out of your system.

>>29685823
> so small
> horn-shaming poor Lyra
Colts are so heartless ... pretty such that's why she turned into a dyke.

>>29684612
"Bo shuda, ho-ho-ho-ho."

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>>29684609
>>"Don't worry Anonymous. Like I said, we're not in danger, she's just passed out. If her vitals were bad the game would immediately eject her."
>>Holy shit. How serious of a game are you playing here anyway? The ponies seem so real and all seem to act independently. Ponies live and die here. Where even /are/ you?
>Anon gets hurt in a way the game doesn't predict, or Anon gets injured long after he should have been sent out and his health points dip into numbers that the game cannot deal with without glitching out
>Anon is abruptly booted from the game and wakes up in a pod of fluid with tubes going down his throat and into his spine

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>>29684617
I like thing very much

>>29683474
>Anon becomes so pissed he thinks 'if you break my heart celestia, I'll break your nation.'
>He starts releasing hundreds of republican propaganda under the name of 'femanon' so people would actually read them instead of throwing them out if it had a male name.
>This makes Celestia mad has hell since ponies start wanting things like the right to vote and taxes not being spent on cake.

>>29685415
What if I herd the metaphysical concept of law and, since Celestia is the highest power in the land and is in charge of creating/approving/denying laws, it would count as herding if I were to shack up with just her?

>>29685512
They're unicorns, only better.

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>>29683306

>All these fucking D&D nerds
Shit you guys just have some fun for once

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>>29684185

>>29685778
>Thinks a drawing of a mare with a nice ass is secret subliminal gay propaganda because it's sort of shaped like a penis
You're so desperate to see penises in things, Anon. One might think you're actively looking for cock.

>>29685148
It's a joke on dnd.
In all technicality you can prepare a spell in dnd and know what it is as a player. However, if your character suffers from memory loss he could forget that he has prepared that spell.
Meaning that even though you know you can use it, your character doesn't.

I've been focusing too much on mechanics and not enough on creating a interesting story I fear. I'll endeavor to fix that next update.

>>29685448
Eh, I kinda figured that out by having the party get split up, now when ever Applejack helps to kill a thing with Anon's help power leveling him more or less.
>>29685454
Well when you have a spell that automates most of the dnd stuff for you...

>>29684617
I like this, keep going.
I'm guessing survivors from the fire living in the ruins of their home?

>>29684360
Also good.
Time for some smashy smashy.

>>29686216
>Highest power in the land
>Celestia becomes a stoner after her new friend Anon feeds her pasta with oregano in the sauce.
>She is immediately addicted to this gateway drug and converts the Canterlot Function Center gardens to an oregano patch.
>This is how RGRE occurred.

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Celestia's cake budget is ridiculous. The other nations in the world are using pikes, even arquebuses, and we're still using spears. Why? Because the military budget was slashed so Celestia could afford a special 50-layer fudge ice cream cake. And she didn't even share!

>>29686595
Do you know how much energy it takes to move the sun? Celestia needs the raw caloric output that comes from cake; after all these centuries, she's probably sick to death of cake.

>>29686710
>Magic burns calories meme
The only ponies who say that are morbidly obese unicorns. You're not stocking up for a major spell, you're just too lazy to use your hooves like a normal pony.

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>>29686728
>tfw "magic burns calories meme"
>tfw you're stuffing your gullet every day and can't gain a single kilo
>tfw you were your anatomy teacher's favorite pupil because you look like a bucking skeleton
>tfw you have to wear a thick sweater in all seasons because you're cold

>>29684334
>Warcry
https://youtu.be/u98WNhQipc0

>Page 9
Zed's dead, baby, Zed's dead.

>>29686785
I'd keep her warm...

>>29686456
That's a video game, then. Not D&D. You don't power level in D&D. Having the party at different XP amounts is scummy, too.

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>>29684360
I love it. You've got some juicy worldbuilding with RGRE marbled all throughout it.

[s]touching wings when[/s]

>>29687716
This. Why isn't my 4chan greentext story a perfect 1:1 recreation of an actual campaign? For god sake, why aren't the players freezing in place until they tell the GM what their move is for that turn?

>>29687782
ponychanner spotted

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>>29687673
>Once you were doing a job enchanting some custom gadgets for a friend.
>You were so engrossed in spellweaving that you forgot to eat for five days and fainted going down the stairs.
>Good luck that your friend decided to show up at the exact same time and tended to you.
>Your bruises were visible through the fur for days.
>Ponies thought that somebody jumped you in a dark alley, or that you got into a fight over etching methods.
>You don't correct them

>>29687857
>Anon insists on staying to keep an eye on her and to make sure she eats
>An intense week-long study session/personal project turns into laying on the couch together, eating pizza and watching horsemovies

>>29687857
>>29687867
That sounds cute.

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>>29687857
>The only stallions that you talk to are shopkeepers. Talked. None of local ones even bother smiling at you anymore. It's not like you react anyway.

>The only ponies that know when your birthday is are government officials. You don't tell anypony. If they don't know - they can't forget it.

>A fellow craftspony, another enchantress like you and your occasional competitor, went to some kind of drunken orgy in another town while in heat. Came back pregnant, and recently gave birth to a filly.
>She is a herdless mother. She doesn't even know who the father is.
>She even invited you to move in together. What, share her misery?
>She is not supposed to look so bucking happy. This is what losers do. Losers should suffer.
>She is not supposed to.

>>29688073
>>The only ponies that know when your birthday is are government officials. You don't tell anypony. If they don't know - they can't forget it.
H-hey, quit hitting so close to home.

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>>29688117
Same shit, sis.

>>29688073
>Shit shit shit your sweater tore
>It was your last sweater. You were putting off buying a new one for too long.
>You have the money, you are rolling in dosh, you earn a lot and spend bucking nothing!
>But you had just one bucking sweater!
>Saved yourself a lot of trouble here, not going to the seamstress!

>Come on Moonie, you're a magister of magic, you should be able to repair some dumb fabric!
>As you try to mend the torn threads, new tears open up here and there.
>You try harder, and the material disintegrates.

>You can't go outside without it. Everyone will see.

>>29688276
I like the implications that going outside and ponies seeing how thin she is is the equestrian equivalent of a fat guy wearing his one good shirt (a ratty t-shirt that's a size too small for him) and has to bear with it until he gets to the store

>>29688619
And she's going to try to smother him in her breasts? The fiend.

>>29688624
I imagine the attack will look something like this: https://youtu.be/QLeGu5v30yo

>>29688716
thats a pretty annoying voice

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>Diamond Dog attacks suddenly increase in severity
>Instead of mugging or ponynapping lone ponies ,Equestrian guard posts are overrun with highly organized groups of highly armed and weirdly armored dogs
>Villages that were usually raided are now captured and extensively looted
>When confronted militarily, the dogs proved to be a force to be reckoned with
>the goatherd intel indicated that the clans of various breeds are now united under one banner
>they now have ranks and specialized occupations that even included mages which was strange since there was no recorded use of magic by a diamond dog
>But the most interesting thing is that each and every dog was a male
>With no sighting of the top bitches who led the clans, a credence have been given to rumor that the dog are being led by an overgrown dog who calls himself "Big boss"

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>>29688824

>Big Boss

spoole

>>29684360
Mah nigga

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>>29688824
Meanwhile anon is just a guy who is trying to live his power fantasy

>>29688824
neato

>>29676365
I legit loled.

Hey guys, I did a do.

I'mma post it in a second.

>You are Anonymous
>You live in the Crystal Empire, under the benevolent rule of Queen Cadence and King Shining Armor.
>Well, actually their titles are “Princess and Prince” and the Empire is technically part of Equestria.
>But fuck those self-righteous authoritarian bastards.
>You may live under a monarchy but at least Cadence and Armor are willing to bend to the will of the people. They've even broken a few times.
>Celestia rules with an iron hoof in a velvet sock with a sword to your neck.
>You hear the door open and close from your delightfully comfortable chair in the reading room, which brings you out of your gloomy thoughts.
>”Honey I'm home!”

Are you guys receptive to less comfy stories?
If so stay tuned for kidnapping, escape, assassination, and politics!

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>>29689529

>>29689501
>”Uhhhrr, pass that already.” the grey mare to your left complains through her teeth, shifting in place as another gust of wind hits the flaps of your wagon’s shawl.
>”Freezin’ my friggin… GIRLS off in this… friggin’ can.” She grumbles on, the mail under her armor tittering at her strife as she leans forward to claim the canteen offered to her from the opposite corner.
>She drinks from the container readily, gulping at the lip until the blue mare at her side, opposite to you, baps her on the shoulder.
>”Leave some for the rest of us, you drunk.” She objects, claiming the container for herself and only narrowly avoiding any spills.
>Blue takes her turn at the cider amidst grumbling from grey and then offers it to you, trading you the drink for small nod.
>”You’re, uhh—whatwasit… Cherry, right? Cherry–somethin’, right?” she asks, drawing all eyes in the wagon to you just in time for them to witness you coughing down what had to have been your fourth drink of cider ever.
“U-Uhh, yeah.” You confirm through the burning in your chest, clearing your throat casually and passing the drink along in an attempt to breeze by your poor performance at the tap.
>Several of your squad mates are smiling now, some even casting each other nefarious looks that make you more than a little anxious.
>You’d been a ghost for most of the ride, keeping to yourself for hours in an attempt to acclimate to the group hierarchy and mannerisms, avoid rocking the boat and whatnot.
>They’d been quite content giving you the same treatment.
>Until now, that is.
“Wild Cherry.” You continue, much more quietly.
>”I see…” blue responds cryptically, donning a sharp grin of her own.
>”Aye, I almost forgot! You’re from the 84th, right? Blue Sky’s girls?” says a dark brown mare sitting in front of you as she adjusts the disheveled cloak around her helm.
>”More like ‘Blue Teats’ if you ask me.” Grey interjects sourly.

>>29689550
>”Yeah, buck yeah. I was with her for THREE MONTHS back when we were crossing through Griffonstone.” Another mare from farther back in the wagon comments, a chorus a pained hisses following close behind from her listeners.
>”She still a raging cunt?” the rust-colored mare to your right asks through a half smirk.
>You aren’t expecting her hoof on your shoulder, and you jump a little when she makes that surprise first contact.
“Oh—yeah…” you answer quickly, managing a quick flash of teeth.
>You open your mouth to speak more, smooth out your awkward stop, but when no words come you snap it shut instead, clumsily ending your statement there.
>The interior of your wagon quiets and you’re fairly certain now that most of the riders are paying at least half attention to you by how hard they’re trying not to look in your direction.
>They busy themselves with little trifles, messing their gear and whatnot, each putting on an ominous level or casualness, especially as one of them leans toward you to speak again.
>”Sooo, uh… Cherry.” The blue-coated mare starts, the way she says your name ringing a warning in your brain. ”How long did you say you’d been in the armor for, again?”
>Several pairs of ears twitch all around you, and a few battled smiles break through the façade.
“Ahh, well…” you begin, catching blue’s eye for only a moment before looking away. “Well… I was at camp Zapp for about a year, and th—“
>”Ooooh no, no-no-no-no Private Cherry.” blue interrupts, her wolfish grin returning suddenly. “That is NOT what I asked you.”
>”Buuuck me, sweet father.” The brown mare across from you curses wryly as the wagon fills with wayward chuckling, surely at your expense, the social noose around your neck tightening.
>”Not ‘in training’, ‘In armor’. ” blue corrects, running a quick hoof across her nose, “How long?”

>>29688999
CHECKED IN THE MAKE THIS NOW!
>>29689550
did...did you forget your name here? And when are you going to get to your other stories? Also, good for you on coming back from the grave.

>>29689564
>Your lips thin as you try and think of a way to squirm out of the question, your eyes searching the cold, hard wood beneath your legs as you scramble for an easy out.
>You can feel their eyes piercing into your helm, drilling into your brain to mine out the answer before you can speak it.
>They essentially know now, all that’s left now is the specifics, the details.
>The hazing.
“Two.” You answer gruffly, gluing your eyes to your knees as you bring them closer together instinctually.
>”Two… years?” blue asks, her brow popping up in surprise.
>”Naw, two months, maybe.” Brown remarks, exploring the sack of cold provisions in front of her until it produces a carrot.
>You don’t answer, electing instead to stay quiet and try to resist being roped in to their intimidation.
>They pick up on that, too, the clattering of wheels and the sound of wind invading your small wagon yet again as they consider your silence.
>”… Weeks? Two weeks?” blue continues, her eyes widening for the opposite reason, now.
>” ‘CHERRY’ is right…” The grey mare to your left remarks under her breath, and to your right the orange mare has to tear her hoof off your shoulder to contain the coughing that she was using to cover up her snort of laughter.
>”So, you, uhh… you got anypony waiting for you back home? A little sugar, maybe? *Cherry*?” Brown asks out of the blue.
>Her voice sounds innocent enough, but the inflection she puts on the last word makes it sound more like an adjective than a name.
>It was the same way that the seniors at camp Zapp said it.
>Same way the old salts from the 84th said it.
>’Wild’ sounded cool, after all.
>It was like a nickname that a real soldier might accrue over a long career and many hardships out in the deep world, shoulder to shoulder with Equestria’s finest on the front line, serving Their Royal Majesties even at the cost of your life.
>Unfortunately, that hadn’t been the way of things.

>>29689576
Yes, when I think I can right them well enough for people to enjoy, and thanks bud. Good to have content.
>>29689581
>You, the cadet fresh out of training, the butt of every joke and the target of every newbie ritual, instead had the honor of being stuck with a different moniker.
>Cadet Cherry; and worse yet recently: PRIVATE Cherry.
>A trying, train-wreck of words that stuck to you HARD in training and followed you all the way to the 84th, completely dumping your nigh-perfect grades, excellent spearwork and exemplary leadership skills into the mud for an easy goof.
>You were top of the class in training for Celestia’s sake!
>But ooohhh no, everypony’s gatta be a comedian, everpony’s a wisemare.
“No, nope.” You answer curtly and with a hint of bitterness, resigned to your fate.
>You knew where this was headed the second you were aksed your name.
>”Oh.” Blue returns quietly, pressing her mouth against her hoof and propping her head up against it.
>”Buuut… well, what about before?” the orange mare to your right asks innocently, throwing the hoof she once had on your shoulder over the full length of your withers and leaning on you, invading your personal space, “I mean – strapping mare like you? I’m sure you’ve had one or two little morsels up till n—“
“NOPE.” You answer sharply, your lips turning up wearily in a show of defeat, “Not now, not EVER. Never had a coltfriend! Never even KISSED one before! Not once!” you admit, your volume rising higher than anypony’s had for the entire trip up to now.
>Nopony says anything for a while, but you notice that whatever they’d been doing; eating, fixing their armor or whatever, all of it had come to a quick stop.
>The mare leaning on your shoulder drops her head, and you can feel her breathing quicken slightly.
>For five seconds straight, at least, nothing happens in your moving cabin, no movement, no words, no anything.

>>29689529
>Are you guys receptive to less comfy stories?
>If so stay tuned for kidnapping, escape, assassination, and politics!

Good this thread needs to grow some balls.

>>29689598
>But at the very end of that time, face tight and lips trembling, squirming for relief, Blue raises her head, her eyes far away from yours.
>”… O-Oh—“ is all she manages before she and every squaddie (excluding you) burst into loud, hooting laughter, the very wood holding up the roof and keeping the snow at bay practically shaking with their explosion of mirth.
“YEAH, UH HUH. REAL FUNNY. NEVER HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE, HONEST.” You remark over the noise, your face souring as you stomp your hoof once in irritation.
>The others stomp their hooves, too, but only to get out the energy that had quickly overwhelmed them.
>The orange mare pressed against your side is practically hanging onto you to keep herself from falling onto the ground, her chest visibly shaking beneath her armor.
>”You are NOT a straight-out-of-training VIRGIN named PRIVATE CHERRY!” she exclaims hoarsely in disbelief, “You’re a BUCKING LIAR. You don’t EXIST! AHAHA! CELESTIA! I can’t – I can’t BREATH.”
>”Ooooo, o-ooooo.” Blue whines, presumably trying to come down from the head rush caused by her lack of oxygen as she runs the bends of her fetlocks across her moist eyes.
>”Tartarus is goin’ on in there!?” a slat at the front of the carriage barks in a feminine voice, its owner striking the wood below it in agitation.
>You and your armored agitators wisely go silent, recognizing the voice of your squad leader.
>When the slat addresses you a moment later her voice has declined in volume greatly, hissing at you softly from the other side in anger.
>”The whole platoon can probably hear you! Just cuz’ we’re close to fort Brinn doesn’t mean the only thing out here is cock and snow. How bad you girls wanna see a yeti today? How bad you wanna see a DIREWOLF? You know better 104th; shut your damn flankholes!”

>>29689612
>”Yes ma’am.” Blue replies hurriedly, ears bent and still cringing from the tongue-lashing as she casts the rest of you an awkward look, “Sorry ma’am.”
>The slat grumbles something else before it, and the rest of you, mute yourselves utterly for the next several minutes.
>It takes a while before any of you work up the teats to speak again, but they do so as quietly as they can manage.
>”Oi, nice goin‘ere, Cherry.” The brown mare whispers.
>”Yeah, nice goin’ Cherry.” The orange mare parrots, nudging you with her foreleg and snickering.
>Several riders snort and lift their hooves to their mouth.
“W-W—Screw you!” you hiss under your breath incredulously.
>You nudge the orange mare back a fair bit harder but she only continues to giggle impishly, forcing a smile out of you despite you best efforts.
“I already hate all of you...” you remark jokingly, reaching forward to snatch the sack of food away from the brown mare.
>She gestures at you rudely but does little else, letting you claim a carrot or two of your own without a fight.
>”Shame, that.” Blue replies, unfazed.
>”Well, I guess you could always walk home. Canterlot’s, what? A BAJILLION miles ‘that way’?” orange says, gesturing at the flap.
>”You’ll be fine. If you run into any snow wolves, just, uhh… cover your eyes. They can’t see you if you can’t see them, right?”
>Orange scans the carriage amidst another round of giggles, “Right?”
>You shake your head in annoyance, snapping the tip off the carrot wrapped in your hoof and turning your attention to the veil at the back of the wagon.
>You can just barely see the world outside your cozy moving dwelling, small flecks of snow occasionally floating through the gap in the cloth and swimming toward the floor to melt away.

>>29689627
>Your squad mates continue to converse without you as you watch this event repeat several times, the tiny puddle at the edge of the wagon growing in size until it spilled over and trickled into the lowest corner with the rest.
>Your mind wanders to the outside, painting pictures of the vast and snowy countryside just beyond your meager protection from its elements.
>You imagine many things, but you mind’s eye dwells on a particular vision moreso than the rest by far.
>Snapping teeth.
>Red eyes.
>White fur creeping low through the frost.
>You wrap your forelegs more tightly around your knees as your attention continues to linger on them, escaping them as easily as you might escape the real things in real life.
>That is to say, not well.
“Do you see them a lot?” you wonder aloud.
>You snap your jaw shut and turn, thinning your mouth when you find all eyes on you once more.
“Uhh—the snow wolves.” You continue stiffly, their faces softening in realization.
>”Nuht really, no.” Blue answers around a mouthful of vegetable, tossing the sack farther down the line to another.
>”Thank buckin’ Celestia for that.” Grey curses.
“Oh.” You say, feeling a touch relieved.
“Are… are there not that many around here, or…?”
>Orange chuckles darkly and shakes her head, “Hah, yeah, think again, kiddo. Their buckin’ EVERYWHERE around here. Why ya’ think nopony’s settled this far north till now? Chilly tits?” she says, reaching up and flicking you on the forehead with her hoof.
>You frown and rub the sore spot on your noggin as Grey speaks up behind you.

>>29689639
>”They’re are a dime a dozen past Mount Everhoof. They’re like a big ring allll the way around the north,” she says, drawing a circle in the air to illustrate, “gnashin’ their teeth and keepin’ anypony from settling the earth – what little there is up here. And the sky? Hah, the sky might as well have teeth, too. Thin air, storms out of control at random; nopony controlling them, like they got a mind of their own. Not a single damn push to civilize this place succeeded ‘till last year. Not from the birds, not from the Yakkies, and sure as buck not from any pony.”
>The grey earth pony shifts in place, tugging her cloak tighter around her body.
>”Time, sweat, taxpayer bits, LIVES,” she lists off, blowing a raspberry at the end, “all to shit and pine needles.”
>”Long story short,” Blue cuts in after swallowing, “if you ‘see’ Direwolves? It’s usually too late.”
>The fear gathering in the pit of your stomach had grown considerably as their explanation went on, and by the end you were scanning your cramped surroundings obsessively, examining the thin planks of wood and sheet that stood between you and the treacherous beyond with a heavy heart.
“So… so you’ve never seen them?” you ask, lowering your voice instinctually.
>”Mmmmm…” Orange hums long in thought, turning her head to peek out the flap, “once or twice, maybe…”
>”It‘s hard to tell with all the snow, but somepony always has their head outside, watching.” Blue adds.
>”Shiver’s seen’em.” The brown mare says, pointing her chin at the spot next to you where the grey earth pony sat bundled.
>The grey pony, a CPL by the bands on her whitherplate, grumbles softly and tugs the head of her winter cloak lower down onto her face, “Yeah, and once was enough.”

>>29689651
>The brown mare chuckles and turns back to you, continuing, “Shiver an’er old lass’ were some of the FIRST squaddies to come up here. Waaaaay back in winter, a little while after the treaty was signed. She VOLUNTTEERED – daft cunt.”
>Shiver stays silent, plastering herself against the wall behind her and hanging her head in an effort to rest.
>The orange mare next to you, having nothing of it, grins a Cheshire grin and reaches across your front to nudge and shake her.
>”The conquering hero! First of her Earth Pony kin to explore the frigid snowlands! The mare’s mare! Bearwolf slayer! Colt harden-er! A-hah—!” the Pegasus chortles, tripping up on her words when the grey pony she was hassling threw a half-hearted hoof, missing you by a hair and clubbing her atagonizer in her outstretched foreleg.
“You’ve been here for a year?” you say, confused, “Then… I mean, why aren’t you…?”
>Shiver casts you a disgruntled eye from under her head and you quickly nod your head at her ranking plate.
>”Hah, yeah, she WOULD be a higher rank,” Brown explains, gaining your attention, “but down’ere getting’ past sarge means sittin’ up there.”
>She pops her brow and motions to the front of the wagon near the slat.
>It takes a moment for you to catch on, but as you stare at the wood separating you from the driver’s seat at the front of the carriage, you start to.
>It was the most exposed area in the entire formation, but somepony needed to be there.
>Somepony needed to keep an eye out and lead the oxen tugging your cold flanks through the snow to Fort Brinn.
>That somepony, in this instance, was SFC Snaptrap, earth pony.
>In all the hustle and run of squaring away your paperwork, your things, and all the other minor details that went with migrating to a different platoon, you hadn’t had much time to get acquainted with your squadmates.

>>29689665
>You weren’t crazy enough to ignore your chain of command, however, and at the very least ingrained the names and rank of your squad leader and each mare above her.
>There weren’t many; surprising as it may sound, officers weren’t very plentiful in the north.
>Plenty of squaddies, though.
>You could always file for new assignment after a few months had passed, but you still didn’t know where you were going and there was no guarantee the reassign would happen, especially if you had infractions or anything.
>Amidst your thoughts the brown mare tries her luck at stirring the grey pony at your side, nudging her rear leg gently.
>”Oi, Shiver! Feel like taking the sergeant’s exam yet? Ready to sit your can up in the big mare seat?” she asks, nudging her leg again, “Aye?”
>Her target mumbles something that sounds like profanity and pulls her leg away.
>”No good, Splint,” blue interrupts, grinning, “she’s still sane.”
>”Hah! Sane…” the brown earth pony returns sardonically, “Ain’t nopony here passed six months SANE.”
>As Splint shifts into a more comfortable position the lantern in the corner hits her shoulder plate just right, revealing the Alicorn-emblazoned emblem of a Specialist.
>Unlike the all the other mares around you, her shoulder plates have a white cloth wrapped around the edge.
>If you recall correctly, brown is for special tactics, purple is magical training (for all TEN unicorns in the corps), and last but certainly not least, white was for field medics.
>The medic in question leans toward the grey corporal once more, setting her forelegs on her rear ones and staring at her.
>After a long while of Shiver ignoring her she snickers and turns back to you, her eyes shining, “How’s about a story, Cherry-mare? Shiver’s favorite one.”

>>29689684
>The grey mare huffs at being constantly roped back in to the conversation but says nothing, instead turning away from you and leaning her side against the wall in an effort to get more comfortable.
>”Alright! So: once upon a time…” Splint begins in high spirit, lifting up and tossing a few spare peanuts on the floor at a few squaddies in the back who were still chatting over her, “The crown was lookin’ fer a buncha’ dummi–ah, VOLUNTEERS, to make the first official run to fort Astrid, birthplace of the first treaty between Ponykind and the Hume!”
>A few chuckles are spared at the brown mare’s obviously purposeful slip of the tongue, but you barely notice them.
>Though you hadn’t said anything this story was actually of great interest to you.
>There was so little information about this place – even now, over a year after successful contact – that you stuck to any stories or spare knowledge like a tick.
>A few other faces seemed to share your interest, quieting themselves by choice and fixing their eyes on the field medic.
>”On behalf of the corps; for crowns and country!” Splint proclaims as she strikes her own chest with a hoof, her voice dripping with comedic pomp.
>She looks like she’s into it, but you don’t miss how the volume of her voice doesn’t push over a certain level, not even in goofy passion.
>”Welp, there was a young CPL – at the time a private,” she goes on, nodding quickly to you, “who was just dumb enough to answer the call; and so she does!”
>Splint reaches out and bats Shiver on the leg again, coaxing out a growl.

>>29689698
>”The first time out there were LOTSA’ brass who came with – not like now. Lt’s everywhere! Colonels! A Brigadier or two, if you can believe. There was even a few merchants and land-owners and the like who’d greased some hooves in an effort to get ahead of the competition. Everypony wanted to soak up a little’a that glory. They all went, the stories of ice monsters far in the back’a their minds, far, far away.”
>You breathe in and a sour smells invades your nose.
>You turn and bump your nose on the canteen being held under it by the orange pony at your side.
>She scoffs as you take the container with a huff, sipping from it out of curtesy as your turn your head back around.
>You find the field medic’s shining green eyes in yours when you do; she’d paused, waiting for your full attention before she continued.
>”The first day goes poorly. Everypony behind schedule, shipments late, too much supplies, too little. You know, the usual stuff when you leave officers in charge’a anythin’.” She jokes, earning herself a few more soft chuckles from her listeners.
>”Still! The day must go on, late or no! ‘Least, that’s what Brigadier Blackiron says. In the middle’a winter, in the middle’a the day, they set off to fort Astrid to make first official contact with the Hume, to make history!”
>The field medic reaches out to you, and you sink back in confusion until she claims the canteen from your hoof.
>She takes a long swig, turning it upside down over her head and draining it until the last drops falls against her tongue.
>“…‘Cept they weren’t countin’ on bein’ potato-brain dim, as the dim usually don’t.” she comments dryly, grinding the empty can down onto the ground with a hard thud.