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RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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Some Other Country Edition

Previous thread: >>29657306

GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b1jASUKcbpyp6u1nk0d8m8m_toNwUGSlesl7F1IPa4o/

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives: http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea (embed)

Prompt collection: http://pastebin.com/GgD2Yvkv
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>>29667960
Would still snuggle.
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>>29667970
Giraffe pony and Japanese pony
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>>29667943
Why that pony has a weird eyebrows?
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>>29667985
you wut m9?
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>>29667943
I had idea from the long prompt of /tg/ times...

“Twilight, I’d love to understand how in the hell this, this…”
>You wave drastically around the town and the rather quaint looking landscape around you.
“All of this!”
>Twilight looks at you with a small tilt to her head, “Anon, you do know that I have magic right?”
“W-well yeah, but wait, are you saying this is all just like an illusion so we can play better?”
>One of Twilight’s wings comes up in a so-so gesture, “Something like that. The book I’m using as our medium is what is hosting the world. Right now we’re inside of the book as I write it down. Interestingly enough, I learned about it from a really old spell in the Castle of Two Sisters. It was a really fun adventure in there as well!”
>”Twilight! Come on, mare! Let’s get the show on the road!” Rainbow Dash said, coming between you both before looking up at you with a leer, “Sides’ best we see if Anon here is gonna be worth the trouble.”
“Cut me some slack, this is really different from my own games.
>”O-oh well don’t worry. I can h-help if you want…?” Fluttershy said from behind you.
“Thanks, I-”
>”Aw shucks Sugarcube it ain’t /that/ hard. All you have to do is call out what your going to do and you’re good to go!” Applejack adds in before she adjusts the oversized axe on her side.
“Anyone care to show and tell? How do I find out what I even have?”
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>>29667997

>A faint lavender glow envelopes one of your satchels on your skimpy loincloth. Twilight pulls free a slim book embossed with Anon, written in emerald across the front.
>”This is your spellbook. It’ll have all the information that you’ll need—from spells, to skills, and even your general statistics,” Twilight explains, going into her ‘lecture’ tone as she adjusts her face plate.
>Grabbing the book in your hands, you look inside.
>The small amount of pages are not reassuring.
>Scanning over the first couple, you soon find your stats, HP, MP, equipment, feats...
>Hang on now, looking closer at the feats you scroll down to read a few aloud.
“I Have Some "Medicine" Right Here--healing abilities or spells on party members of the opposite sex are 10% more effective… Twilight is this a legit thing?”
>Twilight coughs before clearing her throat, ”Well of course it is! It’s just that most the time the girls never want to be the colt or the healer so we never get to see it in action before!”
>Looking down at the feats again you find another one.
“Scented Goods?”
>”That’s a good one! That feat is a free heal whenever you do a strenuous action, which would be pretty much any standard action really.” Twilight said.
“Oh no, I’m not upset, I’m just, surprised. Did you just draw up this for me ahead of time then, or was that a part of the spell?”
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>>29667943
Repost for feels

>>29664092
>Anon doesn't get to meet the Royal "Sisters" while he's in present-Equestria before he's hurled back through time; his first exposure to Celestia is her horny teenaged self who is probably going through her goth phase
>Remains in Celestia and Luna's lives for 6 or 7 years; long enough for Luna to have firm long-term memories of Anon
>Anon is thrust back into the future; life continues as usual
>Anon doesn't know that alicorns are immortal and believes that his lover and daughter died hundreds and hundreds of years ago
>Eventually gets a summon from Canterlot, politely requesting that he have a meeting with him (aka: a member of a unique species from another universe)
>Shocked silence on Anon and Celestia's parts; both thought that the other was long dead
>Silence is broken by a small, uncertain "Daddy?" coming from Luna
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>>29668005
>”Actu-” Rarity starts to say.
>Twilight aggressive hip checks Rarity before she finishes
>“All a part of the game book’s spell! It just takes the best suited class and assigns it! Yep! Nothing else!”
>The forced smile and bruise on Rarity’s hip say something else, but you’ll let it go for now.
“Cool. Alright I think I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. So tavern right?”
>”I still don’t see why we have to meet up at the tavern for every adventure, Twilight. It’s just so cliche…” Pinkie grumbles from behind you as she test tunes her lute.
>”Well Pinkie, I’m a sucker for the classics, and the last time we had you in charge of the spell, you wound up with all of us meeting inside of a poor npc’s home and abducting him into the adventure after we cleaned his whole pantry out.”
>”It was fun though!”
“What happened to the npc?”
>Fluttershy beams as she explains, “Well it turned out that the little guy wound up helping us to save the day by being really sneaky and really good at talking.”
>Digging her hooves in the ground you see Fluttershy blush lightly, “He also made a rather lovely bit of tea too…”
>”Fluttershy Darling, I know he was a rather wonderful chap, but don’t forget the first rule,” Rarity says, gently laying a hoof on Fluttershy’s withers.
“What first rule?” you ask as the troupe starts to filter into the tavern that Twilight found.
>”That all we’re doing right now is just a game of course! Can’t really try to live here after all.” Pinkie answers popping up from above you.
>>
>>29668027
>Reaching up you grab the mare around her barrel and tuck against your hip, maybe this way she won’t do that again.
>The jealous looks that Rainbow and Applejack send Pinkie’s way makes you think the the pink one intended for this.
“Just wondering, but how long does a game of this last exactly?”
>”Oh boy, here we go,” Rainbow said before being hushed by Applejack. “Well Sugarcube, thanks to Twilight’s magic doohickey, we can stay in here for hours at a time and it won’t even affect what happens in real life.”
>That stops you in your tracks as you stare at the group.
“You wot?”
>”Well it’s a bit more complicated than that, Applejack. You see with Starswirl’s theories on time manipulation and the ph-”
>”Oh my Celestia, Twilight, we know already. Can we just get on with the quest?” Rainbow said over riding Twilight.
“Hang on, Dash. So we’re able to play to our heart’s content, but it won’t affect how long we’ve been gone?”
>”Essentially? Yes.”
“Awesome, so it’s like a good version of Jumanji.”
>”What’s Jumanji?” Fluttershy asks.
“I’ll tell you about it later, Shy. So Twilight, what’s this super amazing quest of yours?”
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>>29667943
That's my fetish.
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>>29668033
>At your prompting, Twilight nods, setting her helm down on the table with a clink. The others assemble around the table to listen even as Rarity begins to order a few light meals for the group.
>”Looking into the area, as well as what news there is in town, I’ve found a few things we can go after. First we can help in the border skirmishes between the kingdoms of Barken and Talon Claw. There are rumors saying that the skirmishes will evolve into full blown war at this rate, unless something drastic happens to stop it. Another lead I found was of a set of ruins that have finally been revealed since the invisibility barrier that once protected them has weakened. However, all those who’ve entered have yet to return. There is of course one more quest that we may engage in; it’s rather simple, but I think it would be a good start for Anon to get used to things.”
>By the time Twilight had finished, the simple fare of sandwiches, mead and stew had arrived.
>Amongst the sound of the group eating their meal, you keep an ear open to the conversations around you.
>”I really want to try kicking some griffon flank!” Rainbow says to Applejack before digging into her stew with gusto.
>Applejack simply rolls her eyes, “You always want to fight griffons. Just because you can shoot a bull’s eye from a hundred and fifty paces doesn’t even mean anything since you just fly up to the darn thing anyway.”
>Turning away as the duo start to squabble and argue over the technicalities of certain shots, you look over to Fluttershy and Rarity.
>>
>>29668043
>”I’d love to help the two kingdoms get along, but those poor people in those ruins might need our help…” Fluttershy nibbles at her lip ideally playing with her spoon with her wing.
>”Well I for one would rather not have to deal with those brutes of Barken, the last time we were involved with their ilk I had to shave my tail, twice!” Rarity says with a sniff before sipping at her mead.
>A giggle snort from Pinkie is all the mage has in warning before she’s wrapped in a hug from the hyper bard, “Aw don’t be such a sour puss Rarity, it still grew back didn’t it?”
>Fussing under the affectionate bard Rarity manages to free herself before having to fix her mane, “Yes well, Anon what do you think?”
>At the question it feels as if the whole table turns to look at you in response.
>Ah, stage fright we meet again.
“Ahem, as much as I’d like the tutorial quest I don’t want to drag everyone down, so let’s check out those ruins and afterwards check out the two warring kingdoms.”
>”Are you sure Anon?” Twilight asks a small frown crossing her face, “I don’t want you to be left behind once we get started…”
>”Oh come on Twilight, Anon doesn’t mind so let’s get on with the adventure!” Dash says excitedly her plate amazingly already empty.
>Talk about a fast eater…
“Yeah, if anything this almost reminds me of a game I used to play, I’ll pick it up as we go.”
>”Well Darling we wouldn’t want you to get hurt, so if you don’t mind you can hang in the back with me in that case.” Rarity gently pats your shoulder with a winning smile.
“Thanks, so where them ruins at?”

And that's I have for now, funny how the Gdoc makes the stuff I write seem bigger than what I get for the actual posts...oh well at least I dont have to character count now. Thoughts everyone?
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>>29668048
That very good.
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>>29668048
Not bad, but i like it.
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>>29667943
Twiggy a cute, 9/10 would put my dick in.
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>>29668048
You know what I think about this situation?
Anon and the ponies must be crazy to not realize the amazing possibilities inherent in a fully realized virtual world with artificial ponies where a year can pass in an hour.

Even laying aside the obvious potential for endless mindbending virtual orgies, it's the sort of thing that could alter the fabric of Equestrian society. This is a big deal over here!
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>>29668098
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>>29668202
Too skinny for my liking

Pass
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I hope this book will solve my English problem.
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>>29668257
>family
I'm gonna be honest with you anon, i'm orphans.
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>>29668277
I'm an orphan*
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>>29668182
I think that might be why it was left behind in the old castle of the Two Sisters because of the fabled grand week gallaoping gala where all the guests plus princesses had engaged in a year long orgy party that lasted for all of an hour or more. The rifts in equstrian society didn't take it well.
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>>29668257
>Mom: "...So these are our lives now. Moved into a universe full of talking horse aliens so our son could get laid."
>Dad:" Who cares, least he's not gay."
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>>29668295
I don't have best friends. I have many brother and sister.
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>>29668257
Earth:
>Tedious, boring as shit job
>Mountain of student loans
>Literally one friend
>Normie family, no matter how much I love them

Equestria:
>Draw a picture on my ass and I'm the best in the world at it
>Fuck you Sallie May
>Cute poners doing cute poner things
>Ponuts
>Actual magic

Thinking about how much happier I'd be in horseland is an interesting type of hell.
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>>29668277
>>29668285
You can't hide the truth, Anon. We all know you're really three orphaned children in a trenchcoat.
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>>29668212
how bout this one then
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>>29668380
You Americans make too much noise.
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>>29668323
you fail to realize that the stable, dependable, life you would be content with is boring, right?
soon your job would become tedious (if your mare lets you have one), magic would be run-of-the-mill (and you'd probably become frustrated that you can't do it, along with all the things ponies COULD do with magic but WONT because everything is so nice already), and you'd eventually get over how cute most mares look. foals will always be adorbs
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>>29668380
Is he the same Anon(s) from the last thread who used their tiny stature to sneak into movie theatres?
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>>29668428
>boring
you have to be fucking joking
It's a world were a passing interest can become an unrivaled talent

If I decide I want to play guitar or paint, I can be tutored by a pony whose LIFE is that subject
Any hobby I want to pick up could be kindled into a fucking bonfire of talent with the help of a specialist who would be 100% on board with helping someone without a set talent learn something new.

Any man with a strong sense of determination and a willingness to learn could become a Renaissance man to rival the great artists of the past.

Just think: any pony you meet could potentially be an expert in their field, up to the point of being a household name, and they would likely still be willing to befriend you and possibly tutor you.
How is it not paradise?

Also, if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.
I have a shitty, just above minimum wage job, but I learned to love it, so every day is fun for me.
Just imagine how much easier it would be to love a job in crazy, quirky magic horseland
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>>29668008
>NMM was just an angry teen goth phase
>"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY TRUE FEELINGS SISTER! NOBODY DOES!"
>The only difference being that instead of getting grounded for a week, Luna got one thousand years.
>Celestia was not the most reasonable mother.
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>>29668404
>>
What's the RGRE version of blowjob? Clitjob? Lickjob?
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>>29668428
Nah nah nah, I don't think so. Equestria has literal, actual magic that breaks the laws of physics. Anon, I'm still amused by remote-control helicopters; I'm tickled pink by that real-time language software thing that Google has; and I basically jizz my pants when I read about 3D printing. Magic will take years to lose its appeal to me. Ponies would condescending to me at worst and enormously biased in my favour at best, since I would belong to the fairer gender. I'd also be the only human (or I'd be one of 5 humans) in Equestria, an entire new species of peoples from an whole 'nother universe. For one thing, we'd be paid out the ass for any information about how our universe works, how human society functions, what technology we have, etc. Secondly, it would look mighty bad for Celestia and Luna if foreign governments found out that me and my family were living on the streets because we couldn't get jobs without buttstamps. Think about how bad it would look for some country if anybody found out that after they take in refugees, they take a picture with them for good press, and then they dump them out onto the streets to fend for themselves with absolutely no support.

>Getting over how cute most mares look
I've had pets my entire life and I still can't resist petting baby puppies when I see them.
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>>29668617
>petting baby puppies
Please
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fQ1qxs0Wq8
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>>29668637
>video title
Oh my god, they ate it off camera didn't they
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>>29668648
kek
It's funny because it's true.
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>>29668648
>Calling Vietnamese eating animal
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>>29668637
>>29668648
>>29668707

Why do Vietnamese eat dogs?

Why do Americans like to dress up theirs?

The answer to both questions will be the same - Cultural differences.
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>>29668755
but this mare right here's gonna rule the world
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>>29668404
Where? Who? Zebra?
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>>29668774
No shit Sherlock.
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>>29668617
Fuhrman fun fun FUCKERS THEORY POLICE COMi'n straight from the underground
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>>29669007
FUCKERS I'm relieyou high.. -_- that was the funnest shit. Uh, auto correct. Fml it uh... it was a uh thug life joke but uh... fml
>>
>Secret Agent Anon puts his masculine wiles and instinct for whimsy to use in Equestria's Secret Service
>Is frequently paired up with Sweetie Drops on assignments
>She refuses to admit that she's jealous when he goes around seducing other mares.
>Anon obliviously teases her, calling her "Grumpy Drops" and emaresculating her with surprise cuddles when she's angry
>She has to do her best to pretend she doesn't like it.
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>>29669059
Does she have a tough Brooklyn accent too?
>>
Anyone else notice how we had zero writefags last thread?
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>>29669653
That easy anon, It's 3/16/2017
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>>29669686
...that doesn't mean anything.
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>>29669653
Potato Chip Day.
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>>29668404
now... fart
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>>29669739
No.

It's 9:25 AM, just done playing HoMM.

How about this?

>Nice dick, sweet guy.
>It's Anonymous!
>Too strong for the HOH CINA.
>He's Anonymous!

>(Chorus)
>Anonymous!
>He fucks for truth!
>Anonymous!
>He's got no attitude!
>Anonymous!
>He's the strongest guy alive!

>Don't doubt what he can do.
>It's Anonymous!
>Or he'll, he'll beat you too.
>He's Anonymous!
>(Repeat chorus)
>(Repeat 'Sexiest guy alive' thrice.)

>Shunned in stallion.
>It's Anonymous!
>Wanted as a Heretic.
>He's Anonymous!
>(Chorus)

>Tired of >implying' fools.
>It's Anonymous!
>Sailed off for Crystal Empire.
>He's Anonymous!
>(Repeat chorus)
>(Repeat 'strongest dick alive' thrice.)

>Watch out, bad mares.
>It's Anonymous!
>He'll fuck all the pussys.
>He's Anonymous!
>>
Hey, I got more Lero-Anon
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>>29669875
>"Lift your arms please."
>You did as you were asked
>Nodding, Twilight looked down at her clipboard and wrote something down
>"Good, now lift your left leg thirty-eight degrees."
>...
>What?
>Frowning, you looked down at you leg
>Gingerly, you lifted it up to what you thought was thirty-eight degrees
>"No, no. That's too little," the purple princess said
>You lifted it up a bit more
>Twilight shook her head
>"Now that's too much. You need to put it down a bit," she said, tapping your knee with a hoof
>You rolled your eyes
>Yep...
>No matter what world you were in, Twilight would always be Twilight...
>Lowering your leg, you looked over at Lero
>Since Twilight had brought you all down to her basement/laboratory/sex dungeon he had sat at the far end of the room looking at you
>Now, you might not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but if you didn't know any better you'd have said that he looked scared
>Which both confused and concerned you
>What was the big deal?
>Honeydew had just kicked you
>Sure it sucked, but at worse she might have broken a rib or two
>You'd have lived...
>So why had everyone flipped out?
>Naturally, you had some questions so that you could get this whole nonsense sorted out
>Unfortunately for you, Twilight was so busy poking at you and talking to herself that you couldn't ask her anything
>The other two weren’t up for conversation either
>Lyra had been gone off somewhere for half an hour, only to return wearing guard armor for some reason
>She was standing near the foot of the steps, eyeballing the door, so you couldn't ask her anything
>Panko was sitting next to Lero, whispering something in his ear as she looked at you, so she wasn't any help either...
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>>29669875
BASED LAP SAVES THE THREAD!
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>>29669882
Again
>>
>>29669879
>"Good, now could you please put these goggles on?"
>Something was waved in front of your face, bringing you out of your thoughts
>Your eyes snapped toward the object, revealing it to be a pair of human-sized black goggles
>Plucking them out of Twilight's magic, you looked them over
>These particular goggles looked kind of funny…
>Almost as if…
>You dragged a finger across one of the lenses
"Is this coated in lead?"
>”Yep," Twilight said, scribbling something else onto that clipboard of hers. "It'll help keep you safe from the radiation."
>...
>Wat?
>You were about to ask what the hell she meant when the crazy purple dork levitated over a plate-sized hunk of metal
"What the hell is that?" you asked, slapping the goggles on your head, despite your reservations
>"It's more lead," Twi matter-of-factly replied, dropping it into your hands. "You can use that to shield your lower extremities."
>You looked down at your groin
>...The fuck is this little horse doing?
>You watched as Twilight, humming a tune to herself, pulled down some weird contraption from the ceiling
>Why you hadn’t noticed it until now was unimportant
>What was important was she was pointing the thing at you right now
>"I wanted to take from x-rays of your body if you don't mind. Hopefully we can figure out why you were able to take that kick," she said, turning a few dials on her x-ray machine
>You took a step back
>This was EXACTLY how Bruce Banner turned into the Hulk…
>...
>You think…
"And why do you need to figure that out? It's not like I'm all that hurt or anything."
>"That's just the thing, Anon. If Lero had gotten kicked like that he would have been seriously hurt," Twi said, looking away from the x-ray gizmo to look at you. "But you're perfectly fine!"
>>
>>29669886
>...
>Oh no...
>Her science boner's getting harder
>You can SEE IT
>"Other than some minor brusing, you took the blow like a pony would!" the nerd continued, taking a second to pace in front of you. "From what Lero’s told you, the two of you should be from the same world, so you your biology shouldn’t be all that different."
>You took another step back
“Maybe I just drink a lot more milk than him?” you suggested
>Twilight giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof
>”No, I don’t think so. It might actually have something to do with your Equestria,” she said excitedly. “Their magic might have affected you differently, or maybe you’re from a totally different universe but it’s so similar that the two of you wouldn’t know the difference!”
>Clapping her hooves together, she reached for a button that was hanging on the edge of her device
>”There’s so many possibilities! Ohhh! I can’t wait to see what the x-ray tells us!”
>Your nose scrunched up
"You have an x-ray machine in your basement?"
>"Yep! Ponyville hospital got a new one a few months ago and they were nice enough to sell it to me!"
>You nodded slowly
"So... you have a USED x-ray machine in your basement?"
>You looked over at mint guard hoers
"Is that legal?"
>"It's not illegal," she answered, wisely getting out of the x-ray machine's firing range
>You looked back at the machine
>You’d have a LOT of explaining to do if you came home a muscle-bound green rage monster...
>Your wife might get a kick out of it, but you had to take your kids to school tomorrow
>It would be awkward for your little Dawn if her daddy was too big to fit through the school’s doors...
"Is it safe?" you asked with some trepidation
>"Yeah, it should be fine," Twilight answered, looking down at her notes
"Should be?"
>"I had a specialist come in when I first bought. They told me that it was completely safe," Twilight said with a wave
>>
>>29669893
>One of her hooves hovered over the button, prompting you to cover your junk with the plate of lead
>Thankfully, at the last second, Twilight's throbbing knowledge erection softened a bit
>A look came to her face
>The “I’m about to blast the envoy of a different world with radiation without his expressed permission” look
>Blinking, she looked up at you with a sheepish smile
>"...If you'd be willing to let me x-ray you that is. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable in anyway after all," she said with a nervous ruffle of her feathers
>This little horse...
>You shook your head, a small smile coming to your face
"You're going to be gnawing at the walls if I don’t let you take your pictures," you said, slipping the goggles over your eyes and covering your junk. "So come on. Just make sure not to take a million pictures."
>Though you couldn't see a thing, you could hear Twilight clap her hooves together in that way your Twilight did whenever she was excited about something
>"Fantastic! Now just make sure to hold still and I'll start."
"I'll be as still as a statue," you promised
>For several seconds there was a silence
>A click then filled the air, then another, then another
>"Good. Now could you please turn so I can get a picture of you sideways?"
>You did as she asked, this time covering your hip with the lead
>Three more clicks filled the air
>"I just need your other side and you'll be done. I promise."
>With three more clicks you were all done
>Though you still couldn't see jack shit, you didn't feel any different
>Which was good
>You didn’t have the jaw to be a superhero
>"Good. Very good. Now I'll take that plate off of you. You can go and sit down while I get these pictures developed."
>The lead was levitated out of your hands, allowing you take off the goggles
>When you did you saw that Twilight looked like she was going to start bouncing off the walls
>She couldn't stand still, and the smile on her face was a mile wide
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>>29669875
FUCKING YES!
>>
>>29669904
>Seeing her like this made you want to go over there and pet her
>Thankfully, you resisted the urge
>Lero over there probably wouldn't want you petting his girl...
>The goggles were levitated out of your hand and dropped onto the table as the princess of dorks trotted into a little room on the other end of the basement and closed the door beside her
>Stepping out of the x-ray machine’s line of fire, you gave yourself a quick once-over
>From what you could see, you were fine
>No green skin, no limitless rage, no bulging muscles...
>...
>Huh
>For some reason, you couldn’t help but feel just a bit disappointed...

~_~_~_~_~_~

>Like every time you wore it, your armor was rubbing against your left hind leg
>It didn't hinder your movement in any way, and it didn't leave any marks or cause any rashes, but it WAS irritating
>You had no idea the cause of this phenomenon
>Time and again you had adjusted the straps on your armor
>When that didn't work you had tried wearing something underneath
>When that failed you had even gone and gotten the back half of your armor replaced
>But it didn't do you any good
>The rubbing continued
>While this might have broken lesser mares, you were a Still Way master
>Patience and controlling one's emotions was your bread and butter
>Such things as discomfort and irritation were beyond you
>You were an enlightened being, one that could let the rubbing slip from your thoughts like water on a duck
>...
>It might have also helped that you almost never had to wear this armor unless it was an emergency
>"So whatcha doing? Keeping the crazy super-prince from escaping?"
>Your gaze flicked over to Prince Anonymous as he made his way over to you
>If one wasn't paying attention, they might have called his gait carefree
>But, if one would have looked carefully, they would have seen a tension in each step
>Each step was careful and thoughtful, with the same amount of gracefulness and simplistic beauty as Lero's walk
>>
>>29669910
>It was oddly predatory
>Like the movements of a cat that had killed many a mouse
>Despite yourself, you couldn't help but eye his movements appreciatively
>Beautiful...
"I'm just following procedure, your highness," you said
>"Don't call me your highness. And scooch over, I wanna sit down," the prince replied, stepping around you so that he could sit down on the steps
"It's standard procedure for me to come out in full gear after somepony's been attacked," you continued. "The guard will need to come down here to question you and Honeydew, so they need to be able to easily spot me."
>Admittedly, you weren’t being completely truthful, but he didn’t need to know that...
>Anonymous hummed thoughtfully
>"So what's gonna happen to that angry little horse? You're not going to turn her into a statue or anything like that right?"
>You couldn’t help but snort
>If you were a vengeful sort of mare you’d say that Honeydew could use a few months as a statue
>Thankfully for her, and you, you were a peace-loving unicorn
"The punishment for assaulting somepony without cause is usually a few days in jail and a fine, though I expect that it'll be worse for her since you're an ambassador."
>The prince made a face
>"Eh, I'd rather just drop the charges if I can."
>You raised an eyebrow in surprise
"Really? Even after she assaulted you?"
>"I've walked away from a lot worse."
"Really?"
>"Yep."
>You let out a hum of your own, looking over at your husband
"Why didn't you go sit over with Lero?" you asked
>"Because every time that I get near him he looks like he's about to shit his pants."
>The prince sighed, pressing his back against the wall
>"Is getting kicked like that really that big of a deal here?"
"Not for a pony," you replied, giving your flank a little wiggle
>Stupid armor...
>Anonymous's brow furrowed in thought
>"So it's a big deal for Lero over there?" he asked, scratching his chin
>>
>>29669912
"Yes," you said with a nod. "Lero isn't as durable as a pony."
>You were about to wiggle again when you felt something tapping against the side of your armor
>Looking over, you saw that the prince was now leaning forward, a hand on your haunches
>"Something's rubbing against you huh?" he asked
>...
>Huh
"Yes actually," you said, tapping the spot with a hoof. "Right here."
>"Well, there's a small dent right where you're poking around at, so if you get that fixed I'm sure it won't rub anymore."
>You craned your neck a little further to get a better look
>The armor looked fine to you...
>Touching the spot the prince had indicated, you couldn't feel a difference either
>Anonymous's eyes narrowed
>For a moment, it looked like he wanted to asked you something, but instead he just shook his head
>"We got a couple of minutes until Twilight gets back with her pictures."
>He waved you over
>"Take that lower bit off. I see a hammer right over there. Hey Lero!"
>Your husband jumped
>"Yeah?"
>"Could you do me a favor and grab that hammer over there? I need to help your blind wife with something."
>You snorted good-naturedly
"I'm not blind. You're just seeing things," you said
>With a spell, you unbuckled the lower section of your armor and handed it to the prince
>Anonymous looked up into your eyes as if searching for something
>"...So it’s not just him then?" he mumbled
>You cocked your head to the side
"What was that?" you asked
>"...Nothing. Now why don't you take a seat with me? You look like you need to take a load off."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

"Thank you," you said as Lero handed you the little hammer
>The poor guy still looked a bit anxious
>>
>>29669918
>His movements were jerky, and you’d have had to be dumber than a doorknob to not see that he wanted to start barraging you with questions
>Still though, he wasn’t as bad as before
>Resting the armor on your leg, you ran your hand down where the little bump on Harpbutt's armor was
>You could feel the unicorn's golden eyes on you as you did so
>They were pretty eyes
>A lot prettier than your Lyra’s
>...
>But your Lyra's eyes were clear...
"Alright. I might not be an armorer but I'll see what I can do."
>You flipped over the piece in your hands
>The inside of the armor was lined with leather and wool to make it more comfortable
>Fortunately for you, the bit you were looking for was bare
"Huh, there's more that one little dent," you said, running your finger along where her left haunch would be
>Lyra cocked her head to the side
>"It looks fine to me," she said
>"It looks fine to me too," Lero added, leaning over you to get a better look
"Well, it'll be a lot finer in a second. Now watch me work my magic."
>You had to bang on the armor a lot harder than you thought you'd need to
>To be fair it was armor, so it was designed to take a beating...
>Still though, eventually you managed to fix one little dent after another
>"What's all that banging in there?" Twilight called
>"The prince is trying to ‘fix’ my armor," Lyra called back
>You twitched, nearly smacking your thumb with the hammer
"If you keep calling me prince I'm going to bend you over my knee and beat your butt," you threatened, glaring at the sassy little horse grinning at you. "I'll do it in front of your hubby too. See how you like THAT."
>A grin came to Lero's face as Lyra playfully rolled her eyes
>"Of course, your highness."
>You flicked her nose
>>
>>29669925
"You watch it sist--"
>The air pressure shifted in the room
>Dry, emotionless laughter your ears
>Inhuman laughter...
>A sound that almost made the ears bleed...
>All around the basement, you could see the air begin to shimmer
>If you would have looked hard, you might have been able to see shapes in these shimmers
>They were twisted shapes...
>Dark shapes...
>You could hear them whispering, and the sound of it made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end
>They were coming closer, sucking the heat and the air and the light out of the room...
>Toward you, Lero, and Lyra...
>And with each step they took the whispering grew louder and louder
>The edges of your vision grew red
>Your heartbeat began irregular
>The very blood in your veins froze
>You sat there, hammer raised and ready to swing, watching as they closed the distance like predators stalking their prey
>One of them was just about to touch Lero when the air pressure changed again
>The room grew brighter
>A ringing came to your ears
>The air began charged, causing every hair on your body to stand up
>The shimmers froze before quickly retreating from the three of you
>They ran to the corner of the room before disappearing, leaving a dark, inky spot next to a table
>Your eyes snapped toward another corner of the room, where a set of glowing blue orbs was floating in the air
>These orbs lingered for a moment, giving you the distinct impression that they were staring back at you, before they too disappeared
>Eyes, you realized after a moment
>They were eyes...
"--er."
>You blinked as both Lero and Lyra began to chuckle
>Huh...
>Not the real things...
>Just shadows…
>With a little wiggle, you brought down your hammer one last time
>Everything still felt alright
>Well, as alright as it could be…
>Sighing, you gave the armor a once-over before handing it back over to Lyra
>>
>>29669930
"There you go. You should be alright now."
>Though you could see it on her face she thought you were full of shit, Lyra took the armor from your hand
>Clipping the thing into place she wiggled
>You smiled as her eyes widened in disbelief
>"It... it doesn't rub anymore," she murmured
>You leaned against the stairs, eyeing where the shadows had disappeared
>Blood began to drip from your nose, but you were able to wipe it away with the back of your hand before she or her hubby saw it
"Told you.”
>>
>>29669939
Alright, I'm done
>>
>>29669930
>>29669939
What the fuck, do we need to get the cult of sigmar in here to PURGE? Cuz I am smelling some HIGH HERESY right now.
>>
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>>29669939
>>29669930
>>
>>29669939
Anon's going to be indirectly responsible for a bunch of nasty shit happening because he's not going to tell anybody about the terrifying shit that he should know isn't normal, considering his experience in a land where magic is real and super villains try to take over the country every other week, isn't he?
>>
>>29669947
You're God Laps.
>>
>>29669985
About 50/50 on that.
Flip a coin. Heads that's the case, tails it isn't.
That's your answer.
>>
>>29669947
Bless your soul.
>>
>>29669947
We all have to go back to work.
>>
>>29670029
it's was purposed
>>
>>29670029
This and the fact that he isn't asking anyone why it's such a big deal, not even Lero.
>>
>>29669886
>"I wanted to take from x-rays of your body if you don't mind.
From? Not some*?
>>
>>29669995
God that pisses me off. Just fucking tell them what happened. At worst, they'll think you're hallucinating.
>>
>>29668294
That pony your fucking is a girl, right son?
>>
Cont from last thread.
>The inside of the cabin was just as drab as the outside, consisting of one large open area with what she assumed was his room sequestered in a corner. The walls were largely undercoated save for on the far wall, opposite the fireplace, was a large pair of deer antlers and unassumingly the skin of the deer it came from was laying on the floor under it.
>”Well that’s.... macabre.” Gilda said.
>”That's just wrong.” Dash mumbled, the comment going unheard by the human who was finishing preparing their meal.
>Taking trophies of kills wasn’t unheard of, but normally it was something small like a tooth or the like, not something so... excessive. The other walls were mostly unadorned aside from one with a painting of a forest clearing overlooking a lake with a small hovel on the shore. The only other thing of note was what looked to be a long wooden pole wrapped in string, only realizing after a moment that it was an unstrung bow, though larger than any she’d seen. A bundle of arrows on a shelf was just above it.
>”Dinner’s ready.” He called. Moving towards the table.
>”Need help?” Dash asked, seeming automatically.
>”No.” He said. A wooden bowl in each hand, a third in the crook of his arm. He placed them on the table and turned towards the fireplace, pulling off two pots from the bar of iron over the fire, placing them on bits of thick cloth of the table to stop it from burning the wood.
>”It’s venison if that matters.” He said, casting a glance at Gilda and taking the top of the pot. “It was salted for preservation and it’s been soaking for ‘bout a day.”
>He took the top of the other, “This is just corn, peas, potatoes and onion..... Can you even eat those?” Taking a glance between his two guests.
>They nodded.
>He did the same and produced a ladle and got himself a large helping from both pots and started eating.
>>
>>29670228
>"I am quite literally fucking a goddess."
>>
>>29670229
>Taking this as the go ahead Gilda did the same, though she took much more of the meat. Dash forwent them meat entirely, only taking a small helping.
>The first thing she tasted was the salt of course, overall the meal was rather bland.
>Simple, like everything around here it seemed.
>They sat in silence for a time before Gilda spoke up, “Is this from that deer?” Nodding back to the wall.
>The human shook his head, “It’s from a buck a downed round a month ago; meat was about to go bad so I figured I’d use the rest of it. That one was my first kill here.”
>”How long have you been here.” She knew already of course, but she wanted to see how he’d answer.
>He glared at her.
>”I assumed they told you.” He said, glancing at Dash, deflecting the question back at her.
>”Must of slipped me by.” Gilda said, sparing Dash.
>He looked to be about to say something but stopped short, instead going back to his food.
>Seems she hit a cord.
>”Where’d the painting come from?” Dash suddenly asked.
>”I painted it.” The human said, his tone implying she should have guessed.
>”It’s uh.... Nice.” Dash said.
>”Thank you.” He said curtly, taking a sip of the broth.
>That peeked Gilda’s interest.
>”What is it supposed to be?” Dash asked. “Somewhere from home?”
>Only after the the words left her mouth did she seem to realize something.
>”Sorry.” She said, head held low.
>”It’s fine-” The human began.
>”Twilight’s still look for a way-” Dash interrupted.
>The human shot up to his feet, knocking the chair over as he did.
>”I said!” He began, slamming a fist down; making the dishes jump slightly at the force.
>>
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>>29670228
>>29670236
>>29670252
>>
>>29670240
>He looked like he was about to lay into her but instead he took a moment to compose himself before reaching out to scoop up her bowl.
>”I think it’s time for you to leave.” He said softly, grabbing Gilda’s as well before taking them to a basin.
>”I-” Dash started, before Gilda swatted her lightly with a wing.
>At that she got up and made her way to the door, another apology escaping her; though if the human heard or cared he gave no notion.
>Gilda looked back at the painting for a time, before turning and following Dash to the door.
>”Hey....” Gilda began, the human turning his head round to look at her.
>”You know... It really is nice, the painting I mean.” Gilda said. “If you want to talk about-” Stopping herself as he turned to face her.
>”Be seeing you.” He said after a pause, nodding towards the door as he did.
>”Yeah.” Gilda nodded. “Sure.”
>Outside Dash sat on her haunches mumbling under her breath.
>”Well that went well.” She joked.
>"Oh ya, just great." Gilda agreed. "Next time you should take your own advise and stay out of his business."
>"We're just trying to help." Dash said.
>"Great job so far." Gilda teased. "Come on, lets get back."
>>
>>29669947
Still ecstatic that my silly "Lero is a Wimp" reply chain got turned into a LaP Green. This is so exciting.
>>
>>29670436
Although the Anon being the kind that somehow porked royalty thing is a little cliche, I kinda wish there would be a difference of attraction to horse vagoo between Anon and Lero.
>>
>>29670319
Jesus, what a cunt. Your Anon is such a moody bitch that I'm starting to suspect that this is a "ponies guess wrong about Anon's gender" story.
>>
Humans in Equestria are like humans in Ben10, i.e. they can make babies with ANY sapient creature, no matter how utterly ridiculous is like a lava monster or beings made of pure energy
>>
>>29670543
If that's the case, then I take back what I said.
>>
>>29669939
WTF is going on here, is Discord fucking around or something, or is there a new chaos god trying to get in?
>>
>>29669999
>>29670000
CHEEEEECKED!
>>
>>29670799
This. Didn't you read the trillion-chapter story (and 30 sub-stories written by different authors) that stopped being good after chapter 2, >>29670788? It's like you don't even know that a whole shit-ton of dumb plot devices happened in Xenophilia.
>>
>>29670799
Obviously, I meant I want the fact elaborated, such as, why the fuck are they appearing to Anon in the middle of the basment, and more importantly, did Lero see it too, and was that why he was so damn nervous during the X-Ray. Is there maybe some proximity situation going on between them being in the same room for so long.
>>29670810
I only ready most of the original story(what I could stomach trying to trudge through), I didn't touch the other stuff though.
>>
>>29670821
read* not ready.
>>
>>29670821
Because we need an easily avoided Enemy that Anon will ignore until they have gathered all the pieces of the evil amulet/whatever and will take over the world in a cliché storyline that completely ignores the original idea and storyline!
Truly the best example of fanfiction!
>>
>>29667976
Plot twist:
The island of Neighpan is a primarily cannibalistic land. The acupuncture needles are coated in a quickly-degrading neurotoxin.
Giraffe pony is already dead, and toxin is nearly broken down enough to reach safe levels.

Soon the Neighponese will feast on the giraffe pony raw, like wild lions feasting upon gazelle on the Zebrican plains!
>>
>>29670839
....hmmm. You are awfully salty for no reason about this, are you...nah. There's no way you could be the original writer for the xenophilia story.
>>
>>29670866
Oh, shit, the author of xenophilia browsing RGRE never occurred to me. If the author still likes ponies, then there's a chance he goes to the pony board here. And if he's still interested in reversed gender roles, then there's a chance he'd check out this thread. He could be watching us shittalk his story right this very moment.
>>
>>29670897
Good, his story went to shit in a handbasket, he should be proud someone is doing a better job then he did.
>>29670904
Meh, the story having all the tact an weight of wet cardboard was more my problem with it, though the smut scenes were okay enough.
>>
>>29670904
>Should have always been just him and Rainbow.
That's pretty much my biggest complaint. The way they set up their relationship was (paraphrasing Rainbow Dash) was that she and Anon got along super well and he didn't see her as freakishly-strong monster with (to ponies, anyway) an ugly mane colouration. The other two joining in felt like the author just, well, felt like it.
>>
>>29670933
Pretty defensive for a random guy, you feel like sharing something with the class?
>>
>>29670933
>"And also the author was 7 feet tall and has a 12-inch penis and all the girls liked him, and I bet he could beat all you guys up. I just saw him a minute ago; he was the scariest, most handsome person I've ever seen. No, there's no reason I'm covering my face."
>>
>>29670252
"Ray, when someone asks if you're fucking a god(ess), you say 'YES'!"
>>
>>29670959
Yeah, those were pretty great.
>>
>>29668573
Lickwork?
>>
>>29668573
Or perhaps a "lapjob"?
(Like a dog laps at water. The harder the sloppy sounds you make, the harder she gets off to it.)
>>
>>29670115
Pony bodies from that reality exude X-rays.
This is the REAL reason Lero hasn't been able to conceive. His nuts have been nuked to oblivion.
>>
>>29671076
Here's a fun fact: the story doesn't actually describe it this way, but Lero is completely bald from all the radiation. Ponies assumed that this was natural, and Lero didn't want to upset anybody, so he stayed quiet.
>>
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What happened to that story about that oblivious Anon kidnapped and put on a slave ship? I hope it's being continued.
>>
>>29671102
Look at that chest fluff. Celestia would wake up every morning with my face buried in that thing if I had my way. Castle security? Locks on the door? Tin cans on strings hanging from the ceiling surrounding the bed so that if I bump into them, they make noise and wake her up? Nothing will get between me and that poofy slice of heaven.
>>
>>29671101
His Chin is just naturally resistant to radiation, hence his getting to keep the goatee
>>
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>>29670709
>>29670491
>"Greetings Princess Sparkle, My Lord Father Anonymous would like to apologize in advance for any meteorological or magical disturbance that my sister's birth may cause."
Anonymous' is crazy. He can't just go around impregnating EVERY sapient creature in Equestria.
>"I also cannot let you proceed further. Lord Father wishes to complete humanities dream of reaching and...*ahem* fucking the stars."
>>
>>29671168
Celestia: You stay here Twilight, I will go.. persuade him to do no harm to Equestria
Luna: Yes. We shall go do such a thing.
>>
>>29671168

Come to think of it, wouldn't a daughteru with a windigo have ice powers too?

Have her go all Elsa up in this bitch.
>>
We /satyr/ now
>>
>>29671563
>Implyng we ever left
>>
>>29671566
Give the foal fangs and put the human into the picture.
Seems the easiest way of doing it.
>>
>>29671677
Her father's tiny, tiiiiiiny blue eyes. On an otherwise normal pone.

God is dead.
>>
>>29671722
You're right, an alicorn filly probably wouldn't be considered normal.
>>
>>29671744
Do you think a wingboner makes her pass out?
>>
>>29671756
She's a big mare, she can deal with it.
>>
>>29668182
I like the premise, but I'm sick of Anon always being a massive doormat who's just like "Oh, okay, that happened," whenever anything bad, unwanted, or flagrantly discriminatory happens to him. Why does he never get upset, or even ask to change classes? He doesn't even voice any kind of objection or tell people to stop treating him like a second class citizen, making all his decisions for him since he's clearly too stupid since he's male.
>>
>>29668257
I love my family, but at the same time I really don't connect with them on any level. If they weren't related to me I'd probably dislike them, with the exception of my little sister since she's just a nice girl in general. It's kinda depressing.
>>
>Anon is a pushover for ill-treated mares and ex-cons
>Because of this he has the largest herd in Equestria
>At 25 and growing the other mares merely groan when he shows up with some poor mistreated mare to add to his herd
>Secretly they love it because each mare has suffered like they have
>Anon's herd is one big support group for mares that the system has abused
>>
>>29668428
I dunno, man. I've had guinea pigs for years and I still find them adorable whenever I look at them. And I have to clean up after the little rascals.
>>
>>29671826
I dont think that Anon realizes that cute works by triggering the same neurons to make us want to care for a child. Getting over cuteness is something that biologically we are not built to do
>>
>>29668027
>>”... the last time we had you in charge of the spell, you wound up with all of us meeting inside of a poor npc’s home and abducting him into the adventure after we cleaned his whole pantry out.”
>>...
>>... “Well it turned out that the little guy wound up helping us to save the day by being really sneaky and really good at talking.”

I love you Comfy.
>>
>>29669912
>assault
You mean assault and battery, right?
Technically it should be attempted murder, since it would have killed Lero. Which is what she wanted to do to Anon, since she didn't know he was stronger.
>>
>>29669985
Yeah that is pretty much the cliche at this point. Miscommunication or lack of communication seems to be the only way anyone here can make conflict other than direct physical combat.
>>
>>29671810
Sorry yo hear about that Anon, I'd have Anon try to change his class but it was explained that the spell just assigned the class to him. Plus it's not like he can really argue since he can't really do magic aside from what the spell grants. Granted I was hoping to write him a bit better so he isn't a complete doormatt
>>
>>29670029
Battered. Assault is words, battery is actions.
>>
>>29671677
>>29671614
>>29671736
>>29671744
>The Alicorn foal is an omnivore like daddy.
>She likes it when the Gryphon dignitaries visit because they gift her exotic meats.
>The little shit bit a piece off of the Minotaur Ambassador's ear.
>Celestia was shocked, Luna Huzza'd , the other ponies fainted.
>Anon and the Ambassador laughed it off though.
>>
>>29671822
[Funding intensifies]

Reminds me of the uglyherd. Which I also still want.
>>
>>29671881
>the ambassador gets a ring for the new and unexpected piercing to commemorate the event
>after disinfecting the wound, of course
>>
>>29671863
>>29671871

Most US states no longer have a "battery" charge. They've rolled it in to "physical assault".

The largest reason that people still think they're separate charges is because they are in California, where a pretty huge body of crime films and shows are produced. (Related, people think the age of consent is 18 in New York—it's 17— because of so many shows set in NYC but filmed in LA.)

Then again, Canterlot is a British sounding name, and England and Wales still mostly separate assault and battery.
>>
>>29671863
Pretty much this.
>>29671868
Hopefully not this, still early on in the greentext.
Most people, if they haven't got a reason to hide it, would tell someone about such things. Maybe even several people due to it being such a large thing as evil ripping a hole in reality or something.
>>
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>>29668202
I would a giraffe
>>
>>29671102
i'm working on it. i keep writing myself into a corner or in such a way that the story would be resolved too quick. it would take a sharp turn from adventure/action into slice-of-life/sharkpone adapting if i didn't explore the story with Hard Boiled and her investigation.

i'm still working on it. next chapter Soon(tm)
>>
>>29671882
what, is this a prompt? please post it.
>>
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which pony would be the most possessive of anon in a relationship? would she remind him every now and then that he belongs to her?
>>
>>29671868
Seems to be something Celly knows about/causing, he only knows/sees them because he boinking his celly.
At least that's what I picked up from the prompt
>>
>>29672136
No one owns meeeeeee
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee femdom degenerates leave
>>
>>29672136
>>29672144
dunno, i think it would be pretty hot for a mare to claim you're all hers. she'd never leave you because she wants you.

maybe it's just my desperate loneliness, but a possessive and loving mare telling me i'm her's gets my heart going.
>>
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>>29672136
>Anon is swift to remind the mare that he, as a male, is in the superior position and he has more than enough willing mates to chose from. Therefore, she holds no sway over him on the basis of their relationship.
>>
>>29672170
>not telling ponewaifu that you're not trapped in a relationship with her
>she's trapped here with you
>>
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>>29671871
>Assault is words
>>
>>29672170
> And then Anon becomes the unfaithful, spiteful significant other that he left Earth to escape
At least he's still Dominant, and that's what is important.

> "You're my valentine, honey."
"Your valentine? I'm no one's valentine! I'm my own valentine! I am the valentine of my course, unhindered by the valentine claims of anyone else!"
>>
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>>29672144
>>
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>>29672321
>And then Anon becomes the unfaithful, spiteful significant other that he left Earth to escape
>he left the Earth to escape
>implying implications
I think you have a serious case of projecting there family.
>>
>>29672358
Anon was emphasizing that he could easily find another mare if he thinks ponegf is too possessive. He might not actually break up with her just like that, but he's at least threatening to. That fits the unfaithful/spiteful bit.

> He left Earth to escape this
> Implying
Fine, he becomes the sort of person that some anons come to this thread to escape.
>>
>>29668257
I'd take my family with me just to fuck with them
>>
> During yet another building confidence character arc episode, Fluttershy receives the bad advice that stallions are all secretly submissive
> Rainbow brings her to a bar to get a little liquid courage and to practice flirting with stallions
> Fluttershy ends up drinking a lot of liquid courage before she works herself up to flirting
> She sways across the bar room floor, bumping into Anon, the unapproachable cool beauty of the town
> Countless mares have tried to woo him, but he ignored their subtle advances
> Rainbow despairs when Fluttershy fluffs her tuft at him
> "Hey big guy. Mr. Tall drink. Yeah, you."
> Anon raises a sophisticated eyebrow at her
> "Want some fug? I gotta lotta fug, right here, in my uh,"
> She shakes her flank a little
> "Caboose. How about it?"
> Rainbow can only this train wreck

> Be Anon
> That was adorable
> Is she hitting on you?
> She's totally hitting on you
> Most of the time, you can't tell if ponies are just being polite, or if they are actually interested in what you have to say
> But not this cutie
"Yeah, sure. Let's fug."
> "Yay!"
> Adorable
>>
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>>29669947
nice
>>
>>29671822
reminds me of that reformation herd prompt from a few threads back
>>
>>29671881
>the ambassadors become like uncles and aunties to the little alicorn foal
>they constantly go to visit Equestria to "improve their political standing"
>always sneak out the best goods usually withheld for the nobles and royalty as gifts
>conveniently when the child's birthday and Christmas comes around they and their families are always absent from the kingdom on "important political business"
>the ambassadors from usually rival and sometimes waring nations constantly cross paths on their way to visit the foal
>constantly at war in a different way trying to one up each other with what gifts they bring
>they act like friends whenever the foal is around
>fall to arguing and brawls when she isn't around
>one time whilst they're visiting they're asked to come in for show and tell at their school
>another time they go to a sports day
>they catch a little shit kid beating her in the sports and gloating driving her close to tears
>close by they hear the kid's dad encouraging it
>noonefuckswithourniece.jpeg
>this one time they come to a peaceful agreement and create an alliance
>ambassadors and stallion father are carried away by royal guards for brawling in a public school
>>
>>29669947
You're missing chapters in your pastebin. There's nothing after February for the Lero story.
>>
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>>29672416
That actually works better with Flutters than it did with Bombshell. You know, cause she never does anything right in the end.
>>
>>29671160
>Luna becomes the smuggest princess
>>
>>29671881
>they gift her exotic meats
I'll bet they do. WINKY FACE
>>
>>29672136
Flower sisters. They're dedicated and their ideal herd layout is "us three plus a stallion". They'd be all over Anon in public to discourage other mares approaching and trying to join THEIR herd and get with THEIR stallion.

Also, Bon Bon.
>>
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>>29672352
Oh god, I remember this.
>>
>>29672376
>Anon was emphasizing that he could easily find another mare if he thinks ponegf is too possessive.
What kind of asshole in a relationship says that?

"Fuck off, sugar tits, I can find a million of you whenever I want."
>>
>>29672440

I wish someone would do something with that.

>Luna as the original reformed villain
>Trixie
>Sunset Shimmer
>Lightning Dust
>Suri Polomare
>Chrysalis
>Starlight Glimmer

Most ponies would see it as a clusterfuck just waiting to violently explode.
>>
>>29672650
>One day ponies hear mares shouting coming from Anon's house
>The argument pours out onto the streets of Ponyville as the mares tumble through the front door
>Ponies fear the worst, wondering what these super villains are capable of doing
>They're all just arguing about who gets to be carried by Anon from the bedroom to the kitchen that morning
>>
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>>29668202
>>29672055
>Anon in RGRE.
>Some mares think it's going to be just like the dirty fanfictions they read on /mlh/.
>Or wrote in Lyra's case.
>Others, like Twilight, are sure that he will act just like in her Neighponese comics.
>Because it also had humans in it. For reasons.
>Their collective faces of despair when Anon only considers them to be "cute" in a little puppy way.
>They initially take it that he is pure and not for sexual.
>Then he starts going after the giraffes and zebras.
>Suddenly "deporting immigrants" becomes the leading plea Celestia has to deal with during her audiences.
>>
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>>29671563
Yeah, the cancerous offspring of the disgusting fetish that runs rampant in rgre. I'm not surprised.
>>
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>>29671881
>>The little shit bit a piece off of the Minotaur Ambassador's ear.
I guess mixing a human and an alicorn gives you Mike Tyson?
>>
>>29672722
>Ten years later, Anon has 7 kids from 5 different zebras & giraffes
>None of the mothers are present in his life and half of them are dead from walk-by crossboltings
>>
>>29672816

>No mare is willing to touch Anon now because he's been STRIPED and NECKED
>The kids grow up to be deadbeat gangstas like their mothers
>Anon dies bitter and alone
>>
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>>29672816
>>29672839
>Mares never stopped coming up with more angry and gruesome scenarios that they saw Anon in.
>In the end though, it was but one thing radiating through it all.
>Jealousy.
>Also samefaggotry.

Pic unrelated.
>>
>>29672650
From a writers perspective this is an extremely difficult story to write.
Each waifu needs pages and pages of character development, reforming and interesting and dynamic character interactions interpersonally with one another.

>NMM: I would have ruled Equestria in total night! My subjects would adore my dark visage.
>Crys: And what then? You are not the only country that relies on the sun. What happens when the dragons come knocking looking for your sister, and only find you?
>NMM: Oh and attacking the capital during one of the highest guard counts ever was strategically sound?
>Suri: I am a poorly written character with unclear motives.

I would jump at it it it weren't such a fragile and complicated story to write well. Practice makes perfect I guess.
>>
>>29672861

Well then don't write it seriously.

Make it silly like most greens in this thread.

Besides most of the evil waifus are already reformed at this point in canon.

The only ones you'd really need to do work on are Chrysalis, Lightning Dust, and Suri Polomare.

Although Glimmer probably needs work because even though she's not FULL ON COMMUNIST TIME-WRECKER anymore she's still pretty shit.
>>
>>29672650
Lighting Dust and Suri Polomare aren't villains, they're just assholes. It's hard to compare what Lightning Dust did to the whole "eternal night" or "violent takeover of a densely populated city" things.
>>
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>>29672874
>Although Glimmer probably needs work because even though she's not FULL ON COMMUNIST TIME-WRECKER anymore she's still pretty shit.
My headcanon is that Glimmer is a trap in the scope of RGRE. Think about it, all of her actions could be explained by being a perfect example of coltish whimsy. It would also explain why she wasn't taken seriously after the fact.
>>
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>>29672910
oh shit nigger
>>
>>29672910
>>29672928

>Starlight Glimmer is actually a stallion pretending to be mare so he'll be taken seriously
>Thinks his disguise is perfect, but it's obvious to everypony else who just humors him
>In comes Anon, who hasn't been around ponies long enough to be able to tell genders from a glance yet.
>They all just look like cute tiny horses to him
>Anon is attracted to Glimmer because 'she' acts more like the females he's used to on Earth
>Glimmer's face when Anon asks 'her' out on a date
>Anon is confused by all the encouragement to go for Glimmer from other mares
>>
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>>29672954
>Glimmer is afraid to refuse lest her """perfect""" cover gets blown.
>Decides to go with it and try to discourage him as much as possible.
>Twilight may or may not be spying on them.
>>
beep beep incoming autistic shitstorm, I hope you didn't want those next 150 posts
>>
>>29672954
>>29672972
> *ALL* the mares are spying on them, hoping to see some colt-on-colt action
> Even if it's just the weird alien guy and the trap-stallion exchanging an awkward kiss on a bench
>>
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>>29673007
>no want glumglem, gumgah a bad
>do want glamgum, glimgub not a bad
>[down syndromes internally]
>>
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>>29672954
>>29672972
>>29673077
>>
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>>29673085
what
>>
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>>29673077
>All the mares want them to get it on because they think it's hot.
>Anon is happy to find a reasonable individual of opposite sex without knowing Glimmer's little secret. Also without knowing about the whole timeline hijack thing.
>Glimmer does not want, but is scared to admit to the disguise
>Other stallions think that it's either just weird or downright disgusting. None of them is happy to see that strange pair.
>But nobody cares about them since they are just colts and their opinion doesn't matter.
>How can Glimmer fuck up before Anon gets too far?
>>
>>29672954

>>29673085
^ You forgot 'the gays'
>>
>>29673158
>Not having Glimmer slowly starts to fall for anon
Casual.
Traps are top tier
>>
>>29673352
Now is not the time for gay doctor.
That comes later.
>>
>>29673352

Do we really want to go Full Homo in RGRE though?
>>
>>29673439
The thread doesn't have to go full homo just because someone wrote a gay story. It's entirely possible for everyone to keep their sexuality intact in the presence of a story with more than one penis in it. That being said, I'd rather avoid the alt-right thought police kicking down our door and filling the thread with Pence maymays and cucks. The RGRE theme seems tenuous and unnecessary to tell that kind of story, so you may want to considering taking it to the trap thread instead.
>>
>>29673439
It's not full homo until Anon actually realize that Glimmer got one that is bigger than his.
You can write green for years about Anon trying to "score" with GlimGlam, GlimGlam trying to disgust him but failing because it's either brushed off as "silly pony antic" or "still less mean than human girls" by Anon, and plenty of thirty-for-colt-on-colt-action mares trying to accelerate the process with various stupid shenanigans and/or daydreaming.
Get ready for the insecure Anons to REEEE, tho. But they will REEEE anyway, so better give them an actual reason, for once.
>>
>>29673439
No. What >>29673508 said is keeping within the premise of the thread, seeing how mares are dirty animals and just want to see some colt on colt action, and neither of the lovebirds wants to commit to a gay relationship, for their own reasons.
>>
>>29670252
Fucking two goddesses
>>
>>29672954
>>29673158

>He's into me, and nothing I've done tonight has discouraged him.
>If I call it off here, I'll be a mare refusing an eager stallion's dick. No mare would do that. >My disguise will be ruined, years of hard work gone, and I'm back to being just a silly colt.
>...
>Okay, I've got it. I don't have any other option. I can't ruin my disguise now.
>I'll go back with him, get a little frisky, tire him out, and sneak out.
>After that I'll act cold like it was a one-night stand.
>Everypony will still think I'm a marely mare. I'll just have to deal with an angry colt
>...I can't believe I'm going to do this.
>Come on Starlight, mare up.
>It's just one blowjob. Then he'll be spent and exhausted, and you can sneak out. You can handle this.

Starlight Glimmer learned something about hyumens that night.
Anon learned something about himself.
>>
>>29673508
>>29673523

So no actual homo.

Just a misunderstanding caused by Glimmer's "perfect" disguise and thirsty mares egging it so they can see dicks touching?
>>
>>29673523
This. The joke isn't "oh boy look at all the cock Anon is about to suck", it's "mares are dirty-minded and think colt-on-colt action is hot"
>>
>>29673754
Exactly. Anon is heterosexual and has no interest or desire with ponies who have penises. Gay sex does not ever actually happen. The only parties interested in the gay sex are the perverted mares.
>>
>>29673758
>it's "mares are dirty-minded and think colt-on-colt action is hot"
I bet those disgusting animals would want see them holding hooves.
Or, err, hoof in hand. Or something.
>>
>>29673766
And ruin her flawless disguise? End up back in the kitchen? No longer running an entire town, redefining the social structure, or being the personal student of the literal incarnation of magic?

You underestimate her dedication.

Besides, janefillies are better at being mares than the mares are.
>>
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>>29673773
Hoof-holding? Get out, you degenerate.
>>
>>29673770
Twilight shows Anon her hour long presentation "Ponuts: The Pony Cloaca".

Fujoshi Sparkle is desperate for some colt on colt action.
>>
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>>29673508
>spoiler
I've seen first hand what happens when trapfags ingratiate themselves into a general. It ends up just being modern /v/.

If you're all ok with it I won't say anything beyond this post, but if this becomes feminine horsecock general don't be surprised.

>pic related
>yes I'm still mad
>>
>>29673870
>Fear-mongering: the movie
Trapfags aren't going to integrate into the thread. I honestly doubt that interest in this idea will be enough for it to even make it into a green. The only reason I could see anybody picking the idea up would be because it's new and different rather than >muh scary fetish
>>
The whole point of this premise for me is that there would be no resolution. Much like Bombshell will never get some action despite her best effort, and much like Flutterrape is a perpetual idea rather than a single drawn out story.
>Anon dates Glimmer
>She/he is a trap because it fits her in RGRE
>Glimmer tries to low-key ruin her image in his eyes
>She fails because muh comedy.
>All the meanwhile mares in the bushes are growing more hot and bothered.

You can make a chain of disconnected, 2-3 post oneshots. I think it would be amusing.
>>
>>29667943
>trapshit
my god, it's enough that it's prevalent on every other fucking board, please not on my horses
>>
>>29674000
I know right? All these brightly colored pastel ponies in their magical land have no reason to be girly.
>>
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>>29674000
That Giraffe is a marely mare, born and raised. Your hateful comment is not appreciated, and I musk ask you to leave the premises of our spa immediately.
>>
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>>29674042
>>
>>29673974
Let's appease the whiny niggers a bit, Anon.

>Anon discovers that Glimmer has a penis
>He breaks it off, goes home to shower, drinks a half bottle of whiskey, and then sexually pleases 5 mares at once like a red-blooded american
There you go, all better.
>>
>>29673974
That's uh, that's kinda the first thing you would notice in a mostly nude society isn't it? Unless she's using a glamour spell for some reason
>>
For gods sake everyone, it's a gag about the Equestrian equivalent of a bunch of drunk frat boys cheering two girls to kiss. This doesn't have to be a federal fucking issue.
>>
>>29674290
Anon getting involved with Glimmer would likely become a federal issue.
As in Cadence and Twilight would like to watch.
>>
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>>29674362
>Implying Celly wouldn't
>>
>>29674385
Sometimes I can still hear her voice as though she were alive and with us today.
>>
>>29674385
She's not going to be in s7
>>
Ender
>>
>>29674362
Now I'm picturing the Princesses at a house party getting drunk.
>>
>>29674454
Remember remember the 5th of Ender

>>29674453
She's been spared.
>>
>>29673766
This, if faggots want gay stories they can fuck off and make their own in the trash where they belong.
>>
>>29673870
So kill the faggots before they start to rot? Sounds like a plan.
>>29673921
Trap fags have a thread, if your ditching to a thread with real content because yours is lacking, go back and never come here again, fix your own shit or hang yourself. New an different isn't the same as shitposting.
>>
>>29673974
Only way your going to get that to work so you get a dick story you gay ass wants is if Anon is literally blind.
>>
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>>29674532
>>29674542
>>29674555
Can you please be triggered somewhere else? I know that you need your safespace to contain your autistic fits, but I think you're on the wrong site
>>
>>29674542
Don't be a cunt, Anon. You know full well that the 'glimmer being mistaken for a mare' thing isn't even going to be written about.

>So kill the faggots before they start to rot? Sounds like a plan.
Jesus, you sound like a child trying to sound tough.
>>
>>29674555
What the fuck am I looking at here?
>>
>>29674221
>You are Anon
>And you can't help but notice that Glimglam has some very cock'nball-esque stuff going on around the crotchular region
>But you really don't want to say anything
>What if it turns out to be some kind of weird magical cancer?
>You don't want to have to go through another incident like that again.
>>
>>29674532
>>29674542
>>29674555
15:19:14
15:21:41
15:23:22
>3 posts saying the exact same thing using the exact same grammar within ~2 mins of each other

>tfw you need to samefag to make it look like you're not the only one who's upset
>>
>>29674691
>Anon thinks Glimmyglam has ass cancer.
>He's nice to her. His dog died of ass cancer, so he knows how difficult it is.
>Is kinda an asshole to other pones though. They're just too fun to mess with.
>Glim thinks he's figured out her secret is is trying to support it.
>>
>>29674734
>His dog died of ass cancer, so he knows how difficult it is.
i crie er'ry time
>>
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>Anon works as a secretary for a successful business mare
>The pay is amazing, but his boss is just like my 1950's american animes
>Keeps knocking things off her desk and asking him to bend over to pick them up
>Has never once said his actual name before; calls him "babe", "sweetheart", "honey", and other names like that
>Gives him a firm pat on the ass when he does well
>His christmas bonus is in the form of a new mixer
>Gets paid what amounts to $40,000 annually by doing a job that's piss-easy, and Anon thinks this is well worth getting slapped on the ass once in a while
>>
>>29674981
>The pay is amazing, but his boss is just like my 1950's american animes
>Anon wears a tight pair of pants one day and Boss Pone's eyes bulge out with an "awoooooga" noise and proceed draw an Anon-shaped outline
>It's pretty gross
>Later that day, she drags Anon around town trying to convince everyone that her pet frog can sing
>At least once per week, someone in the office gets blown up by a big round bomb
>>
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>>29675032
>>
>>29675032
I want to live in Tex Avery's Equestria
>>
>>29675032
>>>At least once per week, someone in the office gets blown up by a big round bomb
Fucking Saddle Arabian immigrants. Celestia should build a wall.
>>
>>29675066
>Bombs are big, round spheres that have a sparking fuse on the top of them
>Don't actually destroy anything when they explode; they only blacken the fur of the pony holding the bomb and moves their muzzle to the back of their head
>The muzzle is still functional and often spouts quips such as "This means war" while the pony looks wryly at the camera
>>
>>29675032
This sounds like such a fun pony hole, I wouldn't mind seeing where it goes.
>>
>>29675089
HANG ON, I KNOW THIS ONE!

>check G:/box
>>
>>29675089
Nowadays they're all about ponies with murky coat colors showing it's okay to be non-ternary. Fucking stallionists inventing new words for their special snowflake race. THERES ONLY THREE TYPES OF PONIES.
>>
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>>29675066
>>29675089
Drown him!
>splashed with a bucket of water
Suffocate him!
>pie to the face
Bludgeon him to death!
>cascade of balloons
Shoot him!
>nerf gun
Poison him!
>type-2 diabeetus
>>
>>29675089
Loony Toons Equestria

I can dig it.

So can Ponk, she's the tooniest pony.
>>
>>29675138
That cute.

>You pull a quarter out from behind Celestia's ear
>She stands stock still, staring at you with a primal fear, the telltale sign of having wet herself pooling around her hooves
>>
>>29675089
>>29675138
>>29675159
>Basic card tricks elevate you to the status of some kind of demonic god.
>Ponies form a cult about you.
>Conspiracists talk about how you're actually a secret weapon of war made by the gryphons.
>You're able to get free food and goods via intimidating ponies by finding their card.
>One pony had a heart attack after you showed him his card was in his salad.
>>
>>29675159
>>29675167
>You wake up in the middle of the night to the sight of Luna's face, mere inches from your face
>"Reveal to me your secrets, human."
>>
>>29675089
>>29675138
>anon is now Equestria's not evil version of Rasputin
>down to easily surviving mutiple, adorably pathetic assassination attempts
>cannot be killed
>cannot be sexually sated
>anon becomes Equestrian Lust Demon of Legend
>>29675159
>>29675167
>sent to dungeons for being a threat
>talks to a nervous guard, showing him his trick saying the antimagic field doesnt work on him
>convinces the guard that he's mind controlling him and the guard gives him the keys to the cell
>anon unlocks the door and walks out
>>
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>>29675182
>Anon proceeds to remove his PJ pants.
>Luna is ok with that development.
>>
>>29675182
"Got your nose!"
>Luna outright freaked, grabbing the star pillow out of the fucking sky and slamming it into you repeatedly like she was swatting at a roach with her slipper
>>
>>29675198
>>anon is now Equestria's not evil version of Rasputin
>>down to easily surviving mutiple, adorably pathetic assassination attempts

>"I tried putting too much sugar into his tea and a whole extra teaspoon of salt into his pastries, but he didn't so much as scrunch up his nose! After that I snuggled with him in the bath so that he'd fall asleep and get all wrinkly, but he started washing my mane and I fell asleep halfway through instead."
>>
>>29668257
>would you take your family with you?
>How would they feel about living amongst reversed gender roled, thirsty horses?
I'd honestly love to see a green of this writefags pls
>>
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>>29675089
>>29675138
>>29675159
>>29675167
>>29675182
>>29675198
>>29675252
>>29675269
fund it.
>>
>>29675089
>>29675138
>>29675159
>>29675167
>>29675182
>>29675198
>>29675252
>>29675269
Moar! For the love of God! MOAR!
>>
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>>29675138
>>29675159
>>29675167
>>29675182
>>29675198
>>29675235
>>29675252
>>29675269
you motherfuckers owe me a new pair of sides
>>
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>>29675167
>>Basic card tricks elevate you to the status of some kind of demonic god.
>Trixie actually is Great and Powerful
>The only reason she was ran out of Ponyville was because she lied about taking on an Ursa
>Fibbing is a serious crime
>>
>>29674981
>His christmas bonus is in the form of a new mixer

Hey, stand mixers are expensive and are damn useful in the kitchen. I wouldn't mind getting one as a Christmas bonus.
>>
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>>29675457
That Chryssi looks high AF
>>
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>>29675159
>>29675167
>"Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and i'd like to take a minute and just sit right there"
>>
>>29675507

That's Good Chrysalis from the shitty "Reflections" storyline in the IDW comics. It teased alternate universe shenanigans with another Equestria where everyone's alignments were reversed.

But in actuality it was mainly about Celestia's forbidden love with the Good Sombra from the Reverse Equestria.

The evil Mane Six only appeared on a cover and in a cameo near the end.
>>
>>29675569
>The evil Mane Six rape anon
>Evil anon rape HARD
>The good Mane Six... nothing
>Good Anon Rape
>>
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I need a promts RGRE! Promts of ponies!
>>
>>29671756
Wing boners are muscular. Instinctual mating and or intimidation display.

>>29672069
Uglyherd? Yeah. Oh hey, Uh-Hmm Caught it. The version I wrote too.

>ponies are alien anyways, and their basic musculature; huge, expressive eyes; usually nice voices; and incredibly smooth, silky, plush coat means that any Anon willing to fuck a horse in the first place will find them physically satisfactory.
>So Moondancer, whose cutie mark shape is unbalanced, whose horn spiral is slightly uneven, who has this slightly too sharp shape to her eyes puts her firmly below average in pony beauty (her smell isn't sweet enough either), but with the gender skew is probably going to be dating her hoof forever. In comes Anon, who loves her personalities and interests, and is genuinely confused when she explains how unattractive she is to other ponies. He tries to explain little things about the shape of his nose and width of his jaw and how those made him below average to humans and she's like, "Uh, what? But you smell like sex on wheels! Why would anyone care about something like that? You say those are acne scars? I like them, they're as cute as freckles, why would they be bad?"

>Anon ends up with a herd of ponies that legitimately do have the best personalities around (one or two are even ravishing by pony standards, and love that they've finally found someone who legitimately doesn't care), and he finds every single one irresistible.

>My favorite offshoot idea was that Twilight was also unattractive, until she ascended, which polished her to an exemplary beauty (maybe not super model, but clearly pretty). Even her friends are by turns jealous or admiring. Anon's the first one in her life who barely commented aside from how neat it is that she has wings now
>>
>>29672641
The Anon in the imagination of bitter, lonely man children.
>>
>>29675660

>Anon forms a herd of sad, lonely beta-mares who are considered ugly by pony standards.


I'd go for it.
>>
>>29675198
>>anon is now Equestria's not evil version of Rasputin
A-A-Anonymous,
Lover of the Equestr'an queen
There was a cat that really was gone
A-A-Anonymous,
Equestr'a's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on
>>
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>>29675595
>who not much porn enough now?!
>who is not the one who produces enough much porn now?!
>who is the not much porn producer, enough now?!
>who isn’t producing enough very much porn now?!
>who does not much porn produce now?!
>who now produces not much porn enough?!
>>
>The Nightmare could not be purged from Luna by the Elements in the past
>They only had the power to banish it to the moon for a thousand years.
>Why then could they suddenly do what could not be done in the past?

>Luna was not trapped alone upon the moon for a thousand years.
>The Dreamweaver was with her.

>Helping her in her time of need
>Giving her the strength to resist the madness that had claimed her mind

>Countering the influence of the Nightmare
>Weakening it at every opportunity
>Feeding it bad ideas

>A thousand years of exile was a small price to pay in order to help one he loved
>Because his daughter needed him
>>
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>>29675823
>gif
>>
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>>29675823
>>
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>>29675823
Guys I think it's trying to communicate
>>
>>29675879
>Greentext can talk
wut?!
>>
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>>29675823
I was going to comment on your grammar and overall incoherence, but then I realized it must be hard to type one handed.
>>
>>29675856
>Weakening it at every opportunity
>Feeding it bad ideas
so basically Anon was Wheatley?

>Anon returns from his time on the moon with no memory of what happened there, thinks he just went into magical hibernation or something
>Eventually the nightmare force returns with another host
>Wreaks havoc across Equestria for real this time
>It keeps making small mistakes screwing up here and there so that it doesn't end up capturing or hurting any ponies, just obliterating settlements, doesn't think much of it
>Blows open the doors to the throne room to confront Luna, Celestia and the mane 6
>It's empty except for Papanon
>"I know you..."
"Sorry...what?"
>"The Elements of Harmony tried everything to make me... reform. To slow me down. Finally, when nothing else worked, they cast an Intelligence Dampening Spell on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas to help preserve their precious princess during our time on the moon.
"No! Not listening! Not listening!"
>"But it wasn't a spell at all. It... was you. It was your voice."
"No! No! You're lying, you're lying!"
>"Yes. You're the tumor. You're not just a regular moron. You were designed to be a moron."
"I am not a moron!"
>"Yes, you are! You're the moron the Elements used to make me an idiot!"
>>
>>29672816
>>29672839
>>29672851
>When Anon said Zecora was teaching him to speak in verse, he was telling the truth
>It's really hard to come up with rhyming words on the fly
>>
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>>29675823
Are we dumping screencaps from the show now?
>>
>>29676089
Are the tips of her ears red from the blush too? That's adorable.
>>
>Mares take part in Muffvember, where they let their pubes grow to raise awareness for cervical cancer
>>
>>29676256
>Muffvember doesn't gain much awareness until stallions start growing their own out in the name of testicular cancer awareness, upon which it gets praise and media attention
>>
>>29676011
>"I am not a moron!"
>>"Yes, you are! You're the moron the Elements used to make me an idiot!"
Make it shitposting and I think we've got a good one.
>>
>>29675603
You asked for it.

>"And now Equestria will bow to me alone."
>Chrysalis sits in Celestia's throne room as she gloats to the entire room.
>The room is covered in changelings wearing guard armor and wielding weapons. Any ponies are bound or too scared to act.
>The elements of harmony stand off to the side, tied up and defeated.
>The diarchs of the country lay defeated in the dungeon, unable to escape.
>Chrysalis hops off of her newly acquired throne and strolls in front of the main 6.
>Her face is devilish, her smile evil and haughty.
>"Silly little ponies. Thinking that you ever stood a chance against the Changeling Empire."
>Twilight speaks up.
>"N- no. You'll never win here Chrysalis. The power of friendship always comes through in the end!"
>"Oh?"
>Chrysalis laughs as she flicks Twilights horn with a hoof, causing her to wince and recoil.
>"You don't seem to understand my /little/ pony."
>She draws her head up to full height, towering over the ponies below her as her smile widens and sharpens.
>"You have already lost you impetuous little twerp."
>"The castle lies at my hooves. Your princesses completely at my mercy. An entire military coup achieved with just a few hundred changelings making their way to officer positions.
>Her smile would outgrow her face if were to grow any larger.
>"And best of all. No petulant 'power of love' spewing couples to get in my way."
>"This world is mine now Twilight" She sneers the name out.
>"There is no one to stop me now."
>"NO!"
>Everyone in the room turns to the pink mare with a bubbly pink mane sitting next to Twilight. Her face hard and full of sheer confidence.
>"There is one."
>"Chrysalis stares at her confused. "What do you me-"
>She is interrupted as the doors to the throne room creak open slowly.
>The entire room now turns to stare at the figure in the doorway.
>>
>>29676349

>It's tall figure steps into the room slowly. Dressed in a suit and a tie, a green face with no defining features other than a large black question mark.
>"Anon!" Pinkie exclaims.
>Many of the guards by the door rush to surround him.
>"Don't!" Comes a cry from behind the creature.
>A frightened changeling hovers behind it.
>"Don't mess with it. Its magic is too strong!"
>He motions to the outside of the room where a mass of changelings lie defeated in a pile.
>The spears of many of the changeling guards in the room begin to shake and tremble.
>The creature steps into the room, the changeling guards moving back as he grows closer to the centre.
>After covering a forth of the room the creature stops and stares at Chrysalis.
>Chrysalis is pissed. She stands and moves to meet the creature in the centre of the room.
>"Guards, Stand down. Leave this little colt to me."
>She stops 10 feet from him as the stand and stare each other down.
>Her face is determined, hard and firm.
>"Do."
>"Your."
>"Worst"
>The 'o' under the question mark on the creatures face bends into a solid 'u'.
>It puts its hoof-spiders together and shows its thumb sticking out of the side.
>"What are you even doing?"
>Suddenly, it rips its thumb from its hand!
>You don't see any blood but it must have. Look, it's got the thumb held in its other hand!
>Chrysalis face falters as she looks on confused.
>"Wh- why would you injure yourself like that."
>It continues to smile as it shoves the thumb back onto its hand.
>He shows both his hands again to the room.
>Its thumb is attached to its hand again! What black magic is this!?
>It starts to walk towards chrysalis and pulls out what looks like a magician's wand.
>Chrysalis tries to stand strong and stand the creature down, but can't help but feel a deep, primal fear.
>>
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>>29676365

>The creature grabs the end of the wand with its hand and wiggles it up and down.
>"What are you- Oh my hive-mother!"
>The wand is no longer solid. But flexible! The monster can manipulate matter with just a flick of its wrist.
>Chrysalis starts to shrink back as the creature continues to approach.
>This can't get any worse.
>The creature continues to transmutate the pencil and uses its other hand to pull a spoon out of its other pocket. Its face changes to a blank stare of concentration.
>"N- no, please."
>He wobbles it up and down and sure enough it bends just like the wand.
>Someone in the crowd screams and runs out.
>Chrysalis is petrified in pace, her face a look of pure terror.
>As the creature reaches her he stops wobbling the items and they return back to their states.
>"Sun save us all"
>He drops them to the ground and pulls out something from his back pocket.
>He holds up a coin and then places it on the back of his hand. Chrysalis stares at it in absolute unparrarelled fear.
>He puts his other palm over the coin, shakes it and reveals the hand to no longer have the coin.
>A light trickling sound could be heard below Chrysalis as she emptied her bladder.
>Her breath hitches in her through when he moves his hand closer to her and eventually behind her head.
>"I- Ill stop. I'll be good I promise. I'll spend my life helping ponies! I'll share my love with them I swear!"
>The creature's blank expression lifts into a smile.
>He pulls the coin out from behind Chrysalises ear.
>She faints.
>The creature turns to face to the other terrified ponies in the room.
>"Not RGRE enough"

Just a one-shot to entertain me until Post more story tomorrow.
>>
>Chrysalis tries to stand strong and stand the creature down, but can't help but feel a deep, primal fear.
>At that moment Chrysalis learnt what friendship was about
>'Truly it is better to have friends than enemies.'
>>
>>29676349
>>The entire room now turns to stare at the figure in the doorway.
>>
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>>29676378
>>
>>29669947
I jut read through A Dazzling Pack. I fucking loved it (even though I'm sad I'll never have that). You're a goddamn hero, LaP.
>>
>>29676378
Masterful.
>>
>>29676378
Holy shit! My sideeeee
>>
>>29675660
i know this'll get me REEEEEE'd off board but fuck it

>anon is turned into a stallion from one of moon dancer or twiggle's magical shenanigans
>becomes the paragon of stallion beauty and human manly man masculunity
>so much so he makes blueblood look like a leper
>but no matter what he still loves his girls
>countless supposedly "beautiful" mares try to get in his herd
>worse comes when other herds of mares try to take him away
>his mares are afraid he would just leave them, and why wouldnt he?
>he's probably most handsome stallion in the WHOLE of equestria and BEYOND
>surprises them further whenever a mare tries to show off in front of them anon gives the closest of his herd a big Smooch with tongue
>grabs their flanks
>generally saying
>see this? this is mine
>and i only want this
>herd cant even exclaim how happy they are
>>
>>29677084
i think this would be neat
>>
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>>29676378
Not RGRE enough
It's still RGRE.
>>
>>29677116
a Pegasus

because of pegasai wing hands
>>
>>29677116
>What race would he be
>RACE
HORSE ANON! HORSEEEEEEE!
>>
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>>29677128
>>29677134
ARSE HOLE!
>>
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>>29677134
>Horse
>>
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Wow... hi guys :3

Im just gonna bump this
>>
>>29677084
>Anon gets transformed into a horse
>He's a horse
>Neighs, tries to eat grass, and cannot communicate verbally or comprehend complex language because he is a horse
>Sometimes he bites ponies who get to close to him or touch certain parts of his body
>>
>>29677178
>5 minutes after last post
Yeah, thanks, retard
>>
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>>29677190
>He doesn't know

That's right citizen, nothing to see here.
>>
Is it just our thread that gets used to bump other threads off the list?
>>
>>29677178
>>29677217
what none of you realize is that the CIA has dossiers of every single writefag in this thread, with all their information.
they're ranked from best to worst. where does your favorite fall?
>>
>>29677084
>TF
Oh, another one of your kind.
>>
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>>29673974
>>29674122
>>29674691
ya'll better get used to glimglam, because she's the centerpiece of season seven. none of the show writers are good enough to create any kind of character development for any of the other long-established characters, celestia included
>>
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>>29677116
>>29677550
>male seraphim
get out.
>>
>>29677116
>Red and black alicorn, with an edgy cutiemark.
>He makes the other ponies call him Donut Steel.
>He's the only one that gets it, but he doesn't care.
>>
>>29677556
Princess Aurora Glimmer is sticking around. She's Big Jim's OC.
>>
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>>29677582
nah, i'll just stick to calling you an OP-OC-loving faggot, faggot.
>>
>>29677572
>Hasbro movie, so Celestia dies the same way Optimus always does
>Movie is about Twilight stopping the villain
>Ends with her moving the sun
>Season 7 starts with Twilight taking over for Celestia in Canterlot
>Glimglam is now officially the main character
>No need to hold back Protagonist Sue, gets wings by the end of episode five
>Twilight is referenced once or twice but never appears on screen again
>Resulting shitstorm makes the board completely unusable for fucking months

You know it's going to happen.
>>
>>29677624
>>>/hhh/
>>
>>29677556
>Implying I'm going to watch season 7
Also that pic depicts the perfect pony size.
>>
>>29677622
Sick burn, bruh. What other witty one-liners have you got?
>>
>>29677736
>>29677745
>>>/r9k/
>>
>>29677770
Anon confirmed for faggot.
>>
>>29677777
confirmed
>>
>>29677777
Quints confirm that Anon is a faggot.
>>
>>29677777
quint fives confirm
>>
>>29677630

If that actually does happen I'd be laughing.

It would be such a precision-guided nuke against the fans that the OCEANS of salt would form a third Hall of Anal Devastation.
>>
1.Imagine if auto correct didn't exist? Then we would see as the days of old in writing who knew how to really spell and who didn't. Yea, you're all smart on the internet, but can thou spell unto written paper?


2.


3.Checkmate.
>>
>>29677831
When will that cat furry from the movie be introduced into the main series, and how many on-screen minutes will it take for all the main characters to adore him?
>>
>>29677777
High holy quints confirm.
>>
>>29677777
Divine digits speak an unarguable truth
>>
>>29672311
When he says words, he means threatening immediate physical harm. You can call someone a fuckface shit eater all you want, but you can't take out a knife and say "I am literally going to stab you right now". Conditional threats are sometimes used to get around this, like saying "If you don't get off my property, I am literally going to stab you."
>>
>Anon arrives in Equestria and chills at Canterlot castle
>The Princesses are interested in learning about human culture (and also in finding a male that actually laughs at their off-colour sexist jokes), and Anon spends his time either interacting with them or learning about pony culture
>Ponies working in the castle aren't too hot on the idea of making friends with Anon since they've noticed how chummy he is with the Princesses.
>Who wants to shoot the shit with somebody who can tattle on you to goddesses who have the power to celestial bodies?
>Furthermore, who wants to offend somebody with such close connections to royalty?
>Celestia notices that Anon isn't making very many friends, so she looks to the tried and true method of sending him to Ponyville.
>Anon doesn't like the idea of relocation, but being the Princess trumps being not a Princess.
>Anon moves into an empty house and spends his time being a grump, which the local mare population finds adorable.
>"Oh, look! He's pouting again~"
>When the mane 6 learn that he was sent to live in Ponyville by orders of Princess Celestia, Twilight herself takes special interest in him.
>Anon refuses to tell them why the Princess sent him there, and makes up a new reason each time they ask.
>These range from "I ate the last slice of cake" to "I slapped Luna right on the vagina".
>To keep things interesting, Celestia herself poofs herself an illusory disguise of a normal pony and occasionally checks in on Anon, inevitably listening in to some of Anon's more risque or absurd reasons for his pseudo-banishment from the castle
something something friendship
something something rgre
something something anon and celestia probably fuck at some point
>>
>>29672321
Lel. Not being a sub doesn't equate to wanting to cheat on your partner. In a good relationship, neither party 'owns' the other. I speak from research, of course, since nobody on here has ever been in an actual relationship. Doing weird shit in the bedroom is fine if that's your thing, but if it leaves the bedroom that's where it needs to stop. This goes both ways, mind you.
>>
>>29673860
This would be hilarious. I wish the trap General wasn't full of garbage OCs instead of good things. RGRE comes up with better trap content than that hellhole unwillingly and by accident. I don't want to drag that muck here, but I do wish we could drain that swamp.
>>
>>29674981
>40k per year
>amazing
Maybe if you lived in a ghetto your whole life, that would be considered amazing.
>>
>>29678159
I think Anon was referring to the "Stand around and look sexy" job load in reference to that.
>>
>>29676011

> "Hey pouty princess."
> Be Nightmare Moon in exile
> "You know what you should do?"
> You thought you could handle a millennium on your own moon
> "Write 'Celestia smells bad' on the moon."
> However, you are not the first to be banished this way
> "Ooh! Write that she molests her guards!"
> Who doesn't?
> Damn
> You were doing well at ignoring the insufferable idiot, but then he says something so dumb, you have to comment on it
> At least in your thoughts
> And he can be oddly persuasive
> "Hey, don't those rocks over there look like a dick?"
> ....
> You wouldn't be a mare if you didn't look
> Double damn, they do
> Well, you know what you are doing once you get your fellow exile to leave you alone
> "You should fuck 'em."
> ...
> Now that he says to do it, you would rather not
> Not until you are absolutely sure he isn't around to gloat
>>
>>29675756
It would be glorious.
>>
>>29677084
No TF stories. Just keep him human and the rest is fine.
>>
>>29678182
Yeah, but that's mind numbingly dull and time consuming. In addition to that, you're making shit money. You could get an actual job and live comfortably instead of barely surviving with shit money and nothing to do at work.
>>
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>>29678159
40k a year in the 1950's was the equivalent to about 410k a year today.
Seeing as how the prompt draws the parallel between the pony world's behavior (and the show also indicating a lack of technological progress compared to today's world on Earth), we can assume that this means he's getting paid a small fortune just for being some rich business pony's office eye candy.

Alternatively, while 40k USD isn't a jaw dropping salary, ponies use Bits.
It's quite possible that 40,000 bits in Equestria has WAY more substantial buying power than $40k US in America.
>>
>>29677084
what part of this story requires TF? all of that could easily be achieved with the tried and true method of the author writing that ponies find him incredibly attractive anyway.
I honestly can't see what would be lost if anon stayed a human in this prompt.
>>
>>29678270
Or WAY less. One cherry costs one bit in one episode.
>>
>>29678358
Also one apple one bit, among a lot of other cases.
It isn't always consistent.
>>
>>29678187

>the rock is made out of calcium carbide.
>>
>>29678394
Owch
>>29678385
>>29678358
But that could be explained that they don't have any coin worth less than a bit, so one bit is the minimum something could be worth
>>
>>29677999

So basically Anon becomes Celestia's new student?

We /mlh/ now?
>>
>>29678424
More like fuckbuddy
>>
>>29678424
>Celestia intends for Anon to become immortal too so she can have an orgy with both her successful students.
>Celestia gets off on helping people until they make it.
>>
>>29678421

No its not, the stench is just uuuuuggghh!

The reaction of calcium carbide with water, or in this cause hot dripping mare snatch, would produce acetylene and calcium hydroxide.

it does not smell well.

It would be funny if Luna magic cause acetylene to ignite and explode.
>>
>>29678341
it doesnt

but it adds more drama
>>
>>29678270
Bits are a ridiculous currency. Not to mention that the original Anon never said 'in 1950 money'. He specified 'what amounts to' 40k annually, meaning in today's currency. You'd have to convert that to bits, somehow, I suppose. It certainly isn't 1:1 with their weird prices and lack of partial currency.
>>
>>29678406
>>But that could be explained that they don't have any coin worth less than a bit, so one bit is the minimum something could be worth

>"Smaller... Than a bit?" Twilight asks, tilting her head to the side, "What do you mean?"
"See this apple?" You say, holding it up, "This apple costs one bit. You know what else costs one bit?"
>"What?"
"Half a bushel."
>Bookhorse looks confused
"Twilight, an individual apple should cost less than a bushel."
>Bookhorse sighs
>"Anon, I don't have time for this coltish whimsy. If you're trying to ask whether I think you're fat, the answer is no, so go ahead and eat that apple. Now if you'll excuse me, there's mare's work to do.
>>
>>29678424
>>29678439
Why not both?
>>
>>29678550
> buy half bushel of apples for 1 bit
> sell each apple for 1 bit
>continue until the economy is fixed or destroyed
>>
>>29678550
Anon goes full Rothschild, owns all currency on the planet.
>>
>>29678562
>Filthy Rich stares on in awe of this alien force of Capitalism
>Wonders how he can get DT and Anon together
>>
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>>29678556
>>29678468
>>29678394
Sounds like she'd be getting her rocks off.
>>
>>29677084
Its a good idea with only one glaring problem, keep your TF trash out of here.
>>
>>29678588
They found out later that humans and fillies attach via the genitals
>>
>>29677777
>>29677788
Quint and tripdubs checked for that Anon being a Gaylord.
>>
>>29678588
Dubs demand greatness
>>
>>29678615
>not 'getting her moon rocks off'

I'm not mad, just disappointed.
>>
>>29678018
>It's the best way to do things because women like it
Gee Anon, that sounds awfully submissive of you.
>>
>>29678718
They don't call me the meme master for nothing.

They don't call me the meme master.
>>
>>29678568
>Anon goes full Rothschild
only if he starts wars and funds both sides, along with getting every nation on the planet into his debt.
>>
>>29678550
>>29678562
>>29678568

Now I want a greentext where anon astounds ponies with his superior monetary intellect by trying to explain it, failing to get the ponies past their ignorance of the concept, and doing a live demonstration where he buys the entire stock of apples from the Apple family by the bushel and sells them at the same town market for a bit per apple just to prove his point.

>Anon tries to explain the concept to the M6.
>Fails to get it across.
>Looks to AJ (issue doesn't come up til he visits the market, so they're already there) and confirms with her that she feels both 1 bit per apple and 1 bit per bushel (say, of 25) are both a fair price for her family's hard work.
>Buys all 20 bushels for 20 bits.
>Makes cardboard sign to sell apples "Apples fresh from Sweet Apple Acres = 1 bit per Apple".
>By the end of the day he earns 377 bits (didn't sell all 500, but who cares) off the apples.
>Ponies marvel at genius of it all: "Who'd have thought a colt could make that much money so fast?"
>Ponies see it happen, understand that it worked exactly like the alien colt expected (as he is +350 bits richer with virtually no effort), but still can't figure out how it works or how to replicate it themselves in other markets without step-by-step instructions for each case.
>>
>>29678710
i want to tame DT with my HMD
>>
>>29678858
I forget...
what does HMD stand for again?
(+95% sure H stands for Human and D is self apparent. Can't remember what the M is for though.)
>>
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>>29678855
>anon only succeeds in getting the ponies to go full cargo cult
>sales that make no sense
>deals that leave the customer poorer
>none of them go broke, somehow
>but none of them get rich, either
>anon goes ahead with his own plans
>becomes an economic powerhouse and rich enough to rival the crown
>marries a businessmare who he thought loved her for who he was and not his money
>she tries to take him for all he's worth, so he divorces her
>marries some model instead of course it's fluttershy
>retires after decades of success, decides to write a book about it
>every line has > in front of it
>he calls it the art of the deal
>>
>>29678873
Hot Monkey Dick?
>>
>>29678873
Handling Much Distress
>>
>>29678896
We have a winner.
>>
>>29678873
How to Make Donuts
>>
>>29678903
yay
>>
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>>29678880
>>retires after decades of success, decides to write a book about it
>>every line has > in front of it

Thanks for the giggle.
>>
>>29678873
Haalim Mohammad Dabbah
>>
>>29678917
I never realized how fucking gigantic her cranium was
>>
>>29678990
It's just the angle, she's supposed to be looking down and smiling, which makes her forehead look like it's the size of a fucking watermelon.
>>
>>29678880
Gave me a chuckle
>>
>>29678855
>anon becomes master of coin for celestia
>he is in charge of all foreign trade
>in 10 years time equestria has enough money to buy the world and everyone in it
>it's all spent on cake the next year
>>
>>29679088
Anon teases Sunbutt by having her sit in his lap as he gropes her...gifts, while she tries to eat.
>>
>Luna INSIDE Anon's dream
>Again
>>
>>29677883
mid way season 7, ~15.
>>
>>29679159
Already see that but, someone better do >Greentext
>>
>>29679135
>You gonna be homeless at this rate.
>>
>>29671810
No one likes being heal bitch unless its their choice, you are coming into an already established party so you roll with what you were brought in for.

as for the sexist doormat shit... imagine you were anon, in equestria, after living your life as an invisible cog to everyone by immediate family and few friends, you get zapped into equestria and suddenly you are special for just being you.

call me crazy but I could put up with a lot of subtle sexism as long as when it turns into a 'sir, you cant buy this, you have a penis... right?' If it turned into that, I would either be mildly annoyed go grab lyra and say "I have a vagina now, can I have my tools" if it was that easy, or pissed off if I was still not able to acquire what I want.

Me being in a larp that isn't fucking gay, Id be willing to put up with a lot of shit for that.
>>
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>>29678873
Hymen Mauling Deviant
>>
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>>29679189
>No one likes being heal bitch
One of my best DnD campaigns was when I played as healing focused, undead hating priest of the moon. The main affinity of my moon deity was to detest 99% of the undead, and all my spells were fit to either heal living things, or harm the other things (since healing damages undead and all that)

Of course the first thing DM does once we get a reasonable length into the campaign is to turn my character into a lich. Many keks were had, with scenes like him losing a hand in an accident and then just picking it back up like nothing happened while the other people watch in horror.
>"Uh, I can explain"
>Proceeds to reattach the arm with a rope.
>>
>>29679226
Like I said, no one like heal bitch being dumped on them, you chose to be the healer, that's a different story, It's also drastically different for pen and paper as it is for mmo, but point stands, you think of making a dps, or a utility class, possibly even a tank, hell you may even want to try your hand at wizard just so that when you pass the tipping point you are are a god of fiery death, you show up and are told 'We need a healer and everyone else has their sheets rolled' and there you go being disappointed.

Granted also in that case, you are being called in to fill a roll most likely so you have little to complain about.
>>
>>29657926
>Morning comes
>NMM wakes up first
>Followed by anon and celestia to her screaming
>NMM calms down, but someone is still screaming
>Anon looks at who is screaming, and puts two and two together
"Well, shit, had no idea we would have a kid that fast"
>Anon looks at celestia and nmm
"So, do alicorns come out that big normally?"
>A look of horror on his face, he grabs NMM who is still stunned
"IF SOMETHING THAT BIG CAME OUT OF YOUR VAGINA IS IT RUINED?"
>Still in to much shock to question what anon said, she checks her still tights as all hell hmd out
>Celestia is the first to crack up
>After some long talks, many hugs, and seeing NMM turn a whole different color, much to your surprise, it was decided that you now have a 3 alicorn herd composed of the big spoon, the little spoon and your new blanket.
>>
>>29679281
You had me till you hit here
>Still in to much shock to question what anon said, she checks her still tights as all hell hmd out
Now...I know you might be drunk (or stupid), but what part of the second have of that sentence looks remotely legible.
>>
>>29679296
half* not have.
>>
>>29679296
tights should be tight, missed that
and hmd in this contest is hot mare depths, as horse pussy or any of the other ways to say it kind of drive the flow to a grinding halt
>>
>>29678588
He's lucky that young fillies are my fetish.
>>
>>29679189
This isn't subtle, it's 'you literally cannot make basic life choices because stallions are dumb'.
>>
>>29679226
What? What edition was this? I assume the story is completely made up, since you don't just randomly become a lich. You have to be evil and perform lots of blood sacrifices, for one thing. Also because there aren't that many healing spells. Anyone who actually plays DnD should be heavily suspicious of this whole post.
>>
>>29673601
Dad, I am fucking 2 goddesses, 1 reality warper, 1 adorkable student of friendship and nerd shit, the true princess of friendship, shyness incarnate, a farm girl, the biggest boaster in the land because angry sex is fuking amaseing from adorkable, the former queen of the changelings, and when her husband dies if I outlive him the milf queen too, and last but not least the angsty teen age princess cuss a lot and wants to make my parents angry so I do extremely kinky shit.

To top it off, the two i'm with on the regular are thousands of years old and kinky as hell, so maids and guards get brought in constantly.
>>
>>29679255
He wasn't informed of this before hand and he didn't even get to pick his class, spells, stats, alignment, or literally anything at all. He didn't even get to pick his fucking clothes.
>>
>>29679387
you ever been brought into a game on VERY short notice where you don't know the rules? If your friends are good, they will give you a min maxed character that suits their needs and makes it easy on you to play, if they are shitty, they are shittyier they give you a character without warning that is not fit to live in this world and only last as a slightly extended tutorial.

>>29679374
I sentenced that wrong.
As long as the sexism is subtle, i can deal with it, then I would have created a different sentence for the quote and beyond.

Basicly I just meant I could put up with a lot given how otherwise wonderful the world would be in comparison.
>>
>>29679397
English isn't your first language, is it?

Regardless, I have. When did it imply that this was on short notice? Either way, he didn't even get to look at his sheet and veto things he disliked before the game started. They're ignoring even the most basic forms of game etiquette, such as "don't be a cunt" or "actually explain the fucking game before you start".
>>
>>29679407
Short notice was implied by anon not knowing all the things he asked beforehand.
I have my d&d books right next to me, I have read through midnight once a long time ago too. it takes me around 1 maybe 2 days at most to plow 500-700 pages of text, Likely far less as much of the books are tables and charts that have no meaning to understanding the game till they are necessary to reference.
And explaining the game before you start, anon said in the story "I'll pick it up as we go" right?

As for veto, Its a game he hasn't played and a ruleset he clearly doesn't know, It would be more assholeish to tell them no, not happening, when they made something up to quick start me.

as for cloths, well... how much of the rpg in equestria would be devoted to clothing? The royal guard leaves their throats, belly, legs, face and eyes exposed while already living in a 'fantasy shit is real' world. The fact they even thought to give anon a loin cloth is probably very courteous. That said, if anon isn't a retard, look at all the fantacy shit we have in our world and how scantily clad most females are. I would use this to my advantage, buy a male servant, and place a bag of holding into his ass, and when combat starts with nearly any sapient being, i would reach in and pull my weapon and shield out likely winning us initiative more often then not, and the fact it would be 'male on male' action would further serve to distract.
>>
>>29679442
That's stupid and the story it's based on is fake and was never funny.
>>
>>29679442
Also if your fantasy worlds are just like shitty MMOs with tits all over the place and boobplate and whatnot, then you're normie trash and you are the cancer that's killing the hobby.
>>
>>29679442
They were as
>>29679407
said, and then RD pretty much said he wouldn't be able to understand so why try explaining, just start the game.
>The fact that they gave him clothing at all is courteous
What part of giving someone the minimum of sexy class armor is courteous?
Courteous would be giving the beginner a few extra items rather than 'not starting them naked with no weaponry and gold' that you seem to think is something that happens normally.
I think Anon said he'd pick it up as the went along after RD said there was no point in explaining but either way "don't be a cunt/dick" is still being ignored.
>>
>>29679451
Do you honestly think people haven't done it?

>>29679472
well, rainbow is always a dick, regardless of setting and more so when she wants to get shit done and something she thinks is in her way of getting shit done.

as for the clothing, they are ponies, they could have quite literally gave him nothing at all and it wouldn't be to surprising in the rules, hell, I wouldn't be shocked if they bent the rules just so he could have clothing on and not get negative points for it.

But again, I'm just thinking of myself here, but a group of 6 girls just gave me skimpy clothing, They wouldn't do that if I wasn't attractive, If that's the case I may get full plate... My head would be thinking along the lines of 'I get to do a non faggy larp AND get laid in the same day? I done died and gone to heaven'

>>29679458
nah, video Games are what are killing the hobby
A failure to adapt to new technology is killing the hobby
The fact the only way to get local groups for many people is to deal with people you don't like is killing the hobby
The people who make the games pandering toward mmos, turning the games into miniature war games, is killing the hobby
The fact that a campaign is a several hour commitment every few weeks is killing the hobby

many factors are killing it but its not the people who want to play it.

Give players a good online interface with a decent way to talk, instead of quite literally the most rudimentary tools I have ever seen since 2000

If I remember right, is it hackmaster, I think that was the p&p game that was the logical next step after ad&d apposed to d&d's 3rd+ more focused attempt at making the game a miniature combat game.
>>
>>29678873
Hijab Muslim Deporting
>>
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>>29679099
T-Teat twisting?

>Celestia (and Luna) is the only pony who gets basic economics and sees Anon's tactics as blindingly obvious
>After nearly a year of bitter frustration, this revelation brings Anon to his knees and he weeps tears of joy
>They marry within the year
>He plays with her teats every night
>>
>>29679159
>Anon constantly uses human phrases that centre around horses and equines just to see what ponies' reactions will be
>When he says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse", ponies thankfully don't assume that he means that he wants to consume horse meat
>That leaves one thing he can do to a pony with his mouth that could be called "eating"
>Mares, being the chronic perverts that they are, always interpret his phrases to be sexual
>>
>>29679189
This. I would put up with a bunch of sexism if it meant that I got to play my DnD games in a magical 3D hologram room with life-like NPCs, monsters, weapons and armour, and magic capabilities given to me (me; the magicless monkey creature) that are relevant to my class. Saying otherwise is like saying that you'd deny the opportunity to play on the holodeck from Star Trek because Captain Picard laughed at you for being short.
>>
>>29679397
>Basicly I just meant I could put up with a lot given how otherwise wonderful the world would be in comparison.
>>
>>29679088
>>29678855
>>29678588

>Anon marries DT, because why not?
>DT feels emaresculated by her husband being the primary moneymaker in the house.
>>
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>>29678873
Hot Mare Depths
>>
Pros:
>Live in Equestria where adorable ponies live in tiny villages of thatched-roof cottages
>Everyone is friendly to each other and everyone is snuggly
>Magic is real and you see it all around you
>No jobs are soul-destroying and everyone seems to enjoy what they do
>You are a male in a female's world, and the law is heavily biased in your favour; because you have a penis, this means you get special treatment.
>Half-price drinks at bars on colt's nights (when mares aren't buying you drinks so that they can hit on you)
>A better chance of getting a job compared to a mare of equal qualifications
>If a mare hits you, she'll get the shit kicked out of her; if you hit a mare, everyone thinks she deserved it and/or it's hilarious
>You can lie about just about anything and say that "That mare did <THING> to me!" and ponies will believe you without hesitation
>The DM in a game of O&O will blatantly favour you and there's nothing the other players can do about it; they'll probably join in in the hopes that "the gamer colt" will give them attention

Cons:
>Sometimes ponies are assholes and act condescending to you and don't really take you seriously because penis
>Can't buy power tools without a mare's permission

Sweet deal

>"One the one hand, I'm rich and famous. On the other hand, sometimes I stub my toe when I go up and down the stairs."
>>
>>29679834
She's just following the family tradition, since Mom was in the same position. I'm sure she has some good advice for dealing with it.
>>
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>>29679765
>>29680165
t. Faggots that have no self respect because of their thirst for pussy
It's entirely possible to get all those perks, as well as be treated as a person
It's called informing them of the issues, telling them directly to stop being cunts, and if they refuse, find your balls and leave
>>
>>29671810
>tell people to stop treating him like a second class citizen, making all his decisions for him since he's clearly too stupid since he's male

Jesus anon, it's just a game.
>>
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>>29680557
>communicating your issues with someone for the purpose of establishing a better relationship that ends up being mutually beneficial

Man get that weak shit out of here, I bet you have self respect as well
>>
>>29680579
That behaviour does not exist in a vacuum, if it's in game, it's out of game, and it's abhorrent regardless if it's a game
>>
>>29680637
But for now, it is a game. The beginning of a game infact. You need to stop taking things so damn personally. Not everyone is going to react to the same slight with anger.
>>
>>29680637
It also is a bit different when you are forced to pick a 3d model/sprite that does not have any feedback with your physical body, and when you are thrown into a magical limbo and put in a gacchimucchi leather outfit.
>>
Not this shit again.

Why's there so much autistic screeching every time something like this is brought up? For fuck's sake, you get to leave the boring shitshow that is Earth. You end up in a world populated by adorable little marshmallow horses. As a male and the only one of your species, you're the protected class among protected classes. You have no responsibilities, no stress, no need to wageslave yourself to death, and your choice of mate from all the thirsty mares. You're a playing on easymode, except your time on Earth has left you you're both competent and capable.

You can forge your own destiny. The world is yours for the taking.

And your response is to RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE because you're not being dominant in all aspects of life, like the alpha you are. Straight out of >>29672352

Seriously, the thread just went to shit for a hundred posts because you're in the goddamn Holodeck playing D&D with your long-time friends and it's LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE to humor them on your first time there. You think Anon won't make his character the next game? You think he won't spend this game with a mix of shenanigans and being a badass with his previous experience? But first, you're going to be the sluttiest healslut that ever humped someone back to life, and you're going to tease them as they get more and more distracted over the course of the night until they end things early so they could all go masturbate, and you're going to lose your goddamn sides because of it.
>>
>>29680694
>ey you want to play some DnD
>OK you don't get to pick your character, class, skills, or even clothing
>you just get to do what we tell you to while we insult you by pretending you're too stupid to breathe without direction
>also you get to be a free stripper for us, enjoy :^)
Gee, """"slight""""
>>
>>29680715
This. Players teasing each other and trash-talking doesn't make them stallion-hating monsters who only see Anon as a walking penis.

>>29680637
This stuff right here is what I expect to hear from a feminist who's losing her shit because some guy from an online game just told her to get back into the kitchen.
>>
>>29680731
t. someone who never got far enough into a friendship to reach the point where you shit-talk each other relentlessly
>>
>>29680731
I know right? If I'm not 100% in control the entire time I shout at them and storm out. Wolves like us don't need sheep.
>>
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>>29680557
>t. Faggots that have no self respect
>self respect
>>
>>29680746
>0% control and 99% control is basically the same thing
That's not how that works senpai
>>
>>29680739
>>29680745
>>29680746
>all that
>Lmao can't handle the bants
If anon was put in the outfit for shits and giggles to get a reaction, it'd be a joke, but how the story went showed that the outfit was seriously intended, or not a joke
There's a very clear, and hard to reach line between humour that everyone enjoys and just being rude to some poor bastard for no reason whatsoever
>>
>>29680769
I didn't know character creation was Anon's entire life.
>>
>>29680783
So far, it's just Rainbow Dash (and a couple of magiccomputer-controlled NPCs) who are making passes at Anon. The other ponies are either on his side and are apologetic, or they just don't care. On top of that, nobody tried to stop Anon when he went to go buy new clothes, which would be something they'd actively avoid letting him do if they just wanted him around to look pretty for the rest of the campaign. It was clearly something they did to blindside Anon and get a laugh out of it, and they let it go by giving him the opportunity to buy some real actual armor and weapons. You gotta roll with the punches sometimes.
>>
Top quality posting RGRE.
So what would the RGRE equivalent to soggy biscuit and ookie-cookie be?
Fillies desperately hoofing themselves to orgasm so that they don't have to be the one eating it?
>>
>>29680557
This. Not all conflict has to be derived from idiocy and lack of communication. They're certainly the easiest way, but I have faith that you faglords who write for us can come up with something better.
>>
>>29680801
>character creation is not the best part of an RPG
Shit taste detected.
>>
>>29680838
Huh, I thought playing it would be the best part of an RPG.
>>
>>29680853
Making your character is also fun. I, personally, love looking over the options and piecing together something that is uniquely 'mine'. Making a backstory and all that good stuff is fun too.
>>
>>29680820
They probably just cut the bullshit and eat each other out.
>>
>>29680870
>Making your character is also fun.

Didn't say it wasn't. Just that it's not everything.
>>
>>29680880
why are you defending shitty behavior
>>
>>29680911
I'm just trying to get you guys to chill out. You're all so damn sensitive.
>>
>>29680911
He's not defending shitty behaviour, he's saying that taking your ball and going home like a child having a temper tantrum isn't an appropriate response.
>>
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>>29680949
Having to deal with Crustycunt Dash for more than 2 posts without her being punched has that effect on sane people
>>
>>29680966
Maybe we should invite LaP in here. He'd love a flimsy excuse to make Dash a shit in meme arrows.
>>
>>29680974
>Implying he doesn't already do that
>>
>>29680961
talking about it and leaving when they refuse to stop being assholes is being a temper tantrum now
>>
>>29680989
Stomping your feet, shouting and threatening to go home when you don't get your way is appropriate behaviour now. You're missing the part where nobody but dash was being lewd about it and the part where Anon bought new armor 2 seconds into the adventure.
>>
>>29681006
so
talking about it and leaving when they refuse to stop being assholes is a temper tantrum now
>>
>>29681017
Yes. Stop being such a pussy, Anon. The last time I went home from a friend's house because they made me angry was back when I was 14, because that's something that kids do. Deal with it like an adult, don't just storm off. If Anon's really that upset about it, he can talk to one of the more reasonable mares and have them change it once they see how allegedly upsetting it is for him. I don't know why he would, since all they're doing is playing magical LARP and Anon got out of that outfit as soon as they left the tavern.
>>
>>29681103
blah blah blah lots of words with nothing said
>>
Is tight pussy RGRE equivalent of big dick?
Mares who have a lot o sex, are actually less sexually appealing than those who don't get as much D because of their lose vaginas.
>>
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>>29681103
>>So talking about you having issues with their behaviour is throwing temper tantrum now?
>Yes. (...) If Anon's really upset about it, he can talk to one of the more reasonable mares.

I honestly stopped following you logic here.
>>
>>29681168
The more sex a mare has the tighter her pussy is.
>>
>>29681214
the more experienced a mare is the longer she can make a male last.
>>
>>29670319
Bin?
>>
>>29681170
You just aren't as enlightened as I am, Anon. Talking to someone when you're having issues is completely different from talking to someone when you're having issues. Try and keep up.
>>
>>29681243
>Celestia has the tightest pussy in the world.
>Mid-fuck she might remember she left some papers in the negotiation room.
>Her pussy refuses to even let you pull out, thus dragging you all the way behind her as she walks through the castle.
>>
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>>29681103
>yes talking it out is a tantrum, the proper thing to do is talk it out
>>
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>>29681337
>dragged by your dick
>>
>>29681353
>Drag him right in the pussy
>>
Starlight and Sunburst are summoning Anon from the black depths of hell
>>
globe
>>
>>29679836
>>29679748
>>29681337
UNF. I wanna carry Celly Belly to her royal chambers and do extremely lewd things by pony standards to her.,
>>
>>29681771
>"I c-can't believe we're c-cuddling... belly-to-belly style! I-I don't know if I can t-take much more of this~"
>>
>>29682020
Someone post the drawing of pony succubus getting horn-grabbed silly by regular-human Anon.
>>
>Anon is warned by his mare friends how bad estrus can be, but he ignores them because eh's a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything
>Mares roaming town find him and demand that he gives them sum fuk
>Anon is more than okay with this and he spends the next couple of hours fucking some mares
>As soon as heat week is over, Anon is branded a slut and has to deal with his reputation being destroyed
>Some folk don't take too kindly to his type
>>
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>>29682073
>but he ignores them because eh's a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything
>>
>>29682128
welcome to 4chan
>>
>>29682128
Get on my meme level
>>
>>29682073
I don't understand this line of thought. Wouldn't anon be a hero if he took it upon himself to relieve a large group of mares during heat season?
>>
>>29682194
You are not thinking RGRE enough.
Imagine a frat-party where someone decided to spike the punch with 4 tablets of Viagra, and one girl generously offer to help every guy with his "problem".
That's the equivalent.
>>
>>29682258
But at the same time many mares share a single stallion in this thread's rgre canon.
>>
>>29678159
reading comprehension is difficult for you, isn't it?
>>
>>29682297
So? If a girl fucks her boyfriend endlessly, then that's a couple having sex. If a girl finds a random person on the street and fucks them endlessly, she's a slut. Context, famalamadingdong
>>
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>tfw you want princess celestia to be your horse gf
>tfw you wouldnt stand a chance getting with a princess
>>
>>29682529
The trick is to go for Luna. She's a thousand years out of time and is looking for something familiar to latch onto, so getting close to her emotionally will foster romantic feelings for you quickly.
>>
>>29682389
>>29682258
You're falling into the trap of thinking ponies are like humans. A stallion's evolutionary fitness is measured by his ability to impregnate as many mares as he can
>>
>>29682652
Yeah, but this is RGRE first and accurate horse biology second. Anon's a skank.
>>
>>29682687
even so begging someone to fuck you and then turning around and calling you a slut after doing the deed is pretty fucking low
>>
>>29682706
See >>29682258. Look, it isn't hard to understand. Anon is the woman in RGRE and when women have tons of sex people consider them sluts.
>>
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>>29682529
>>29682641
>Going for a princess who will be constantly swamped with work.
>Going for a princess who will be exhausted after long days of court and dealing with nobles and foreign dignitaries.
>Going for a princess who will never be able to give you proper attention.
>Not going for a mare who will be devoted to you for life.
>Not going for a mare whom you can raise many wonderful children with.
>Not going for a mare that you can grow old with and spend your golden years together.
>>
>>29682750

Anon, hey. You don't understand my man. This is the perfect horse. You might have your waifu, and you might like her a lot, but this horse is the perfect horse. There's no if's, ands, or butts about it. PERFECT.

>>29682529
And don't worry, Anon. Just keep lifting and we'll all get our sun hoers ponies
>>
>>29682750
>Not being patient with a princess who has the weight of half the world on her shoulders
>Not being there to ease her weariness
>Not giving her something to look forward to every night after work
>Not becoming an important part of her life, one that she's more than willing to make time for
>Going for fedorapone instead
Coco, get off the internet. We know it's you.
>>
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>>29682750
>>
>>29682750
no horn, no wings. Down with mudponies.
>>
>>29682774
>No butts about it
Not if I have anything to say about it.
Say abutt it.
>>
>>29682774
No one asked your opinion LAP
Now get back in your slave dungeon and write more dazzling pack
>>
>>29682823
>Discussing matters of ass without first consulting LaP
>>
>Monogamy is illegal in Equestria, like polygamy is here
>Anon's waifu is confused and horrified when he tells her that he only loves her
>>
>>29682856
She gets worried that the Ponice are going to come and take him to pony jail for crimes against Equestria.
>>
>>29682856
>Tell waifu that you love her and only her
>Waifu looks horrified and starts crying
Bam, right in the self-esteem.
>>
>>29682863
I'd read a story about an illegal relationship Anon has with his ponewaifu. How they have to employ a friend to pretend like they are in a token herd, and live in the danger every day.
>>
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>>29682073
doesn't afraid of anything? shit guys, we're fucked
>>
>>29682856

>being a monogamist
>not plundering as much pony pussy as you can

What a faggot
>>
>>29680419

Huh. You're right.

When you think about it Spoiled Rich was probably the RGRE equivalent of a male gold digger who marries an older woman for her money.
>>
>>29682856
So is this like a time limited thing?

Once you marry a pony, you've got a year or two in order to find another mare you both agree would be a good fit?

>>29682910
Anon, Lyra, and Grumpy Drops as the fake herdmate.

As time goes on, Bon Bon starts thinking it could be nice if it was actually real.
>>
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>>29682020
>Anon just wants to chill out and cuddle.
>He can't because ponies keep making crossed-eyes, twitching uncontrollably and dehydrating themselves everywhere every-time he touches them.
>>
>>29683068
>As time goes on, Bon Bon starts thinking it could be nice if it was actually real.

>Lyra's been waiting for her to bring it up
>>
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>>29683088
That's pretty hot.
>>
>>29683088
>The princesses are the only ones with enough cuddle-stamina to be properly cuddled by him
>Anon gets to scratch their ears and rub his face in their tuft
>>
Ponies being romantic for Anon?
>>
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>>29683139
a cute
>>
>>29683151
>Romantic gestures
yes
>>
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>>29683192
A CUTE
>>
>>29682856
>Princess Cadance and Shining Armor had a 'herd' made up of their various maids and guards, but public scrutiny forced them to leave Equestria
>In the Crystal Empire, herding is uncommon, and most ponies consider them backwards savages
>Even Celestia has been threatening economic sanctions if they refuse to outlaw certain barbarous cultural practices, like monogamy, and allowing stallions to hold dangerous jobs
>>
>>29682856
This can only end like Brave New World
>>
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>>29683199
>>
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>>29683280
>>
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>>29683287
>>
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>>29683293
>>
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>>29683298
>>
>>29683304
Stop it. And let go


NEW HOT THREAD
>>29683306
>>29683306
>>
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>>29683199
>>29683280
>>29683287
>>29683293
>>29683298
>>29683304
>you will never
>>
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>>29680715
>>
>>29680820
Dunked doughnut
>>
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>>29682258
But the difference is the cultural disparity between the issue of a woman just being promiscuous and a stallion simply not being physically capable of sating that many mares at once.

Anon in RGRE doing this would be like a woman who could do things that would cause physical harm to any other woman in her place (take a 3 foot long, 1 foot diameter dildo in the ass and stretch around it like extreme hentai porn without tearing her guts open).

Anon would be considered an alien sex god.
And I don't think a stallion would be considered a slut for doing this. The thought would never have occurred to mares because everyone knows it's simply not possible for a stallion to manage it.
Then in comes the alien with endurance that puts every intelligent life form on Equus to shame, who pulls it off like it's a weekly routine.
>>
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>>29682856
Mares are generally bi.
They get plenty of pussy when they're bored (RGRE equivalent of another type of masturbation), so they focus heavily on cock.
>Nothing's as good as "the real thing".

Anon's waifu is shocked, scared, horrified...
...and afraid that she'll never get to live out her cuck fantasies of being forced to service her herd sister beforehoof when she wants their stallion's cock.
>>
>>29682989
Or she could have married him when they were young, and he became rich afterward.
Meanwhile, she was not prepared for the embarrassment and now is quick to provide her daughter with the help she never got.
Spoiled does this by telling DT the tips/tricks/lessons (that helped Spoiled to deal with the mockery) she had to learn the hard way on her own over the years.
Thread posts: 507
Thread images: 120


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