RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>6 threads up at once
I feel sorry for you guys now. Hopefully one active one will stay and the rest get pruned.

>>29594847

Wrong oppic

>>29594858
Let's try to forget this happened.

>>29594867
MY LORD
Alright this time I'm making a new thread, you all stay where you are and don't fucking move

>>29594874
>>29594867
FUCKING DON'T FAGGOTS

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>>29594867
>>29594874
PLS STAHP ALREADY

>>29594874
NO FUCK OFF
WHhat do you mean, wrong op pic?
It's different because I'm not that fuckup who made the first 100 moon&sun edition threads!

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>>29594847
>>29594867
>>29594874

IM DYING RIGHT HERE

>>29594874
Don't you fucking dare!

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>>29594847

You guys ARE truly the most retarded general, aren't you?

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>>29594847
>>29594858
>>29594867
>>29594872
>>29594874
>>29594877
>>29594885

How hard making a new thread can be?

>>29594874
Old OP here, leave it to me.

Everything will be right this time, I've tested it on the other board.

>>29594896
It's not our fault some people can't copy, paste like normal people.
Past 500, someone posts they are making a new thread, they carefully make the bloody thing, then post a link. Okay?
>>29594917
Leave it be, we need a new op pic to differentiate it from the shitpile

>>29594917
Are you fucking high?

>>29594917
I want you to fucking die.

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>>29594917
>Old OP here, leave it to me
>I've tested it on the other board

MY SIDES
Y

S
I
D
E
S

>>29594917
>>29594934
I can't bretythe

THE HYPEST CONTENT ON /MLP/

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>>29594917
>I've tested it on the other board
>I've tested it on the other board
>I've tested it on the other board

HOW HARD MAKIN' A NEW THREAD CAN BE? >>29594905

>>29594896
Still not as bad as some I've seen.
Hopefully people stop complaining and let the green text flow.
>>29594956
Let's stop this now and do thread.
I'm going to bed and hopefully no more threads get made while I'm sleeping.

>>29594965
No. No, soon there will only be RGRE threads. /mlp/ will change its name to /rgre/. There'll be so many RGRE threads that we will occupy every possible place in /mlp/.

>>29594917
Ok everything is done (finally)
Here is the new one!

>>2959497
>>2959497
>>2959497

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>>29594978
ABSOLUTE MADMAN

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>>29594978
Okay I take it back, fuck-up OP, I love you.

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>>29594978
THIS TIME YOU WASN'T EVEN BEEN ABLE TO CREATE IT OP

>>29594978
But...
...
HOW?
...
WHAT?

>>29594978
>>29594995
Old OP is new level of fail.
Old OP, just have a nap or get away from the computer for a while.
Hopefully we'll have some piping hot greentext when you get back.

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Hey guys I found a pic of old op

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>>29594978
I hope someone is trolling.
Otherwise I can't believe anyone being THIS retarded

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Posting in epic thread

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I'll be honest with you guys: this is the best thing that happend to RGRE threads for a long time.
Who even needs green?

>>29595045
we /b/ now.

Old op must feel awful...

Where should i put my Luna-green now?
St. Valentine green.

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>>29595063
Providing that he even can feel something in his current condition

This is the thread were using. Quit being fuck knuckles.

>>29595190
I will post my Ancestors story in this thread. Y'alls quit bein' dicks.

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>>29594978

i must say I woke up and enjoyed this thread adventure

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>>29594847

>day mentally impaired multiples in RGRE
>Anon has been in an increasingly sour mood
>all these cute little pony mares won't stop treating him like a delicate flower
>they replaced his hammer with a toy inflatable one
>the range in his kitchen was swapped out in the middle of the night without him waking up somehow, fucking thing only has settings for OFF and MILD
>but worse, the bartenders won't give him anything but watered wine
>well, that bullshit all ends today
>waits for a shipment of booze to roll into town from Stalliongrad
>leaps out in front of the mare pulling the cart, and starts undulating in an attempt to dance
>finishes it off by proclaiming: "MUH DICK" and ripping off the velcro flap covering his crotch
>the mare flips over like a beetle in Zelda pounded by the hammer, foaming at the mouth and twitching
>Anon then grabs the cart and takes off into the woods with it
>eventually reaches the mirror pool
>he cracks open and empties five entire case of vodka into the water
>then he jumps in

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I really love you guys. Never change please, this shit made my day.

>Anon sings "Happy Together" by the Turtles
>Ponies will never dismiss it as "monogamous trash"

I'm tired this fucking thread already.

>>29594847
FUCKS SAKE, SOMEONE GRAB THE LAST IDIOT THAT FUCKED UP THE THREAD FIVE TIMES, AND SHOOT HIM, ITS NOT THAT FUCKING HARD TO COPY AND PASTE!

>>29594867
No it isn't, shut up, ANon the town bicycle is perfectly RGRE. Now hang yourself before someone caves to your dumbass, and wastes everyones time. If SOMEONE, didn't fuck up 5 times, then it still wouldn't matter. Sit down, shut up, and let the real mares do your bucking job.

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>>29595275

>>29594978
So...we can get you in to be euthanized in a hour, why don't you go wait in the kiddy room while they get set up.

>>29595231
>>29595190
We are fucking with a known retard that cant copy an paste, we aren't going anywhere. And you cant stop us from ripping on him. This fucker will NEVER live this down. Fuck me I just got a prompt idea from this dumbass.
>Pinkie takes Anon to the cloning pool
>Anon uses it a makes a clone
>Its defected in a subtle way
>Anon makes a few more clones
>They. Are. All. Retarded.
>Pinkie and Anon have to decide whether or not they need to put down the retard clones
>Or raise the manchildren on their own.

>Looking at the still you haphazardly put together you couldn’t help but smile.
>All the pieces were now in place. Pieced together with sweat, blood, and duct-tape.
>Through the process of trial and error, a fire which burned down your shed, and a drunk bear that got into some of the mash, you finally were on your way to making some grade “A” alcohol.
>Now, no civic ordnance about how much alcohol by volume was permitted, was going to stand in your way to getting completely shit-faced.
>The drinks these pint-sized horses considered strong was a joke, they didn’t even give you a remote buzz.
>So the solution came to you one night, why not make your own?
>Flipping through the beat-up old notebook, you read over your notes. You were a drunk, but a smart drunk, one that did his research on the art of liver-killin’.
>Your grandpa, always made his own moonshine. An art which he passed down to you, and now you were going to do him proud.
>Time to get the batch of mash for your first crop of moonshine.
>Tucking the notebook in your back pocket you walked around the back of your cottage while whistling a tune from when you were young.
>Only to stop dead in your tracks.
>No
>Not again!
>The can of mash lay spilled out on the ground, a large grizzly bear, who had a big smile on his face lay right beside it.
>But that wasn’t the only uninvited guest.
>”What is this stuff?”
“Pinkie get away from that.”
>Ignoring your firm tone on the matter, she stuck out her tongue and lapped up some of the mix.
“Spit that out, you’re going to get sick.”
>The only response you received was a series of hiccups from the bright pink mare.
>This was going to be a bad day.

>>29595593
>Its defected in a subtle way
>They. Are. All. Retarded.

>implying anon isn't already retarded

>>29595623
He is only, slightly, derpy. The pool makes it worse.

>be anon, well anon now, you became the emodyment of what you were on earth when you drank the bleeh and woke up in equestria.
>turns out they have my large human show here.
>your old self is a back ground character. With a headcannon and fan fiction
>its nothing like who you actually were.

>>29594978
what was delet? Did he post the exact same thing again?

>>29596048
Try again when you can English.
>>29596062
Fucked if I know, I wish I could see it. My guess is the moron didn't even copy an paste the link right, wouldn't be the first time the moron couldn't do it.

>>29596071
Nah good as is

Schizophrenia

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>>29596062
Actually it was a post from 2012.

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>>29595231
Actually, you know what? Fuck it. See you, space cowboys.

>>29596133
What are you talking about? Also checked.

>>29596133
ok

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>>29596133
No! I've been waiting for it!

Also WHAT THE FUCK is going on with the board today!?
I wake up and I swear it's like this.

Is
Is every thread like this?
Do you guys need help, RGRE?
I'm sure there's classes or something you can to learn how a general works

>>29596133
Get out already, cunt, nobody wants your shit.

>>29596198
An idiot was left to make the next thread from the last one...5 times. We're staying here if that's not clear. Though I don't get what >>29596133
is going on about.
>>29596206
No, were fine, its just some screw up shitposter making everyone look like idiots.
>>29596216
Like this guy.

>>29596048
>With fan fiction

Anon turned his friend Bob into a multi-colored food item?

Also Bob is totally not gay, he just like to wear rainbow-colored t-shirts that`s it.

>>29596133
Good riddance.

>>29596133
Finish your story man. Ignore the faggots>>29596216
>>29596292
Well, faggot. But you get the idea.

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RGR EG, This pic looks like those 90's photos of a B'baller sitting on the bench while his friends play in the background. You know the style.

>>29596454
PINKIE GONNA SLAM

>>29596454
>”You lost or somethin’?”
“No- I uh… was just walking home.”
>”You’re on our turf, this court, this hood, all of it is ours.”
“Right. So I’ll just see myself out.”
>”Not happenin’, you gotta pay for coming here. Now drop them pants.”

>>29596133
Do you just take pleasure from hurting us ApA?

>>29596828
Considering that was at the beginning of the thread when people were flipping out and insulting everyone, getting offended when you post and someone is rude to you is something you shouldn't worry about.
ApA is a good writer and they shouldn't let such a thing get to them.

>>29596133
Hey ApA, faggots are going to be faggots. Ignore them.

>Be RGRE Pinks
>Friends come over only to 'discuss' about all their problems
>Parties aren't doing it for you
>Smile is getting a little tight
>But you've got to smile or SHE'll be there instead
>Pinkamena really doesn't like this 'rough patch'
>She wants to deal with it
>Oh
>What's that?
>Who's that?
>Better get to being Pinkie Keen!
>Smile at the new 'friend'
>They're a stallion from another world?
>Pinkamena thinks he'd likely be like the rest
>Like all of them
>Better smile Pinkie Pie
>... What.
>He just... complimented you.
>No reason just...
>...Maybe he's not like the rest
Started something, I'm going for a RGRE Pinkie where Pinkamena is a darker part of herself and Pinkie getting frustrated with constantly smiling. Anon is not expecting Pinkie to do anything for him and that's going to help Pinkie stop repressing herself until she goes 'shooter' on everyone.
Hopefully there was indications in the green Pinkie is nice, just under a lot of stress for a long time.

>>29597433
That is a pretty cool idea, Pinkie would be the nice guy that snaps.

>>29597433
just do it

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>>29597433

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>>29597433

>>29597433
>Be Pinks in Sugar Cube Corner
>Serving customers like you always do
>Smiling, with cute colts just not wanting to "do something together"
>Even just a picnic in the park...
>Pinkamena wants to 'get together' with them
>Keep those smile muscles working, Pinkie
>Act 'Happy'
>... It's that Anon Stallion
>What will he be wanting?
>Not Pink... KEEP SMILING!
>...Is he... flirting?
>... What kind of discount is he going to try for...
>...Just like the rest he's going to be offended when I say no
>Why won't they be try being less 'unpleasant' about not getting what they want
>Pinkmena wants to be 'Unpleasant' to them
>SMILE!
>... Wait, he's just... paying for it and wishing me a good day?
>He's just leaving with out asking for any possible colt-only discounts?
>,,,He doesn't seem like the rest.
Here's some more, hopefully it's good.

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Why are all stallions cunts in RGRE?

>>29597622
This is sometime after the first meeting and
Pinkie is Acting like herself but she's 'twitchy' as life isn't changing. Things aren't the same around Anon as other Stallions.
Maybe later on there will be a different color scattered around SCC than there might otherwise be.

>>29597643
I know, right? I mean, I'm a nice mare! Why the fuck do these CUNTS keep going for Stacy Thundercunt?!

>>29597725
>Trixie Thundercunt
Male/Chad, Female/Trixie.
Someone posted a wiki page on this a while ago.

>>29597622
This is fucking beta, holy shit.

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>>29597701
Show don't tell anon.

>>29597801
It's in Pinkies head, but I'll try to add more description in.
>>29597794
Pinkie is kind and caring, until she's not.

>>29597622
>Be Pinkie Keen in Sugar Cube Corner
>Home of the Sugar Coma
>Still serving Ponies
>Still smiling
>Probably Smiling, you don't want to look in a mirror to see what's there
>You've seen Anon around and talked to him.
>More about cupcakes than clothing
>Still more customers
>He's probably going to be another 'friend'
>Pinkie is there to smile and agree and help and jump and
>A hand taps you
>*Talking with Anon, Pinks called Cute*
>*Anon asks Pink for a dattu, reaction*
>...Was this what is was like when you first smiled?
>...He's not like the rest.
I'm losing steam about the greentext due partially to not writing anything for so long.
Final part is/was going to be the date with a
>You look into the water and see a smile
or something close to that in there, implying she is actually smiling without thinking about it for the first time in a while.

>>29598009
After
>A hand taps you
is where it tapered off just before the two lines at the end.
Hopefully some enjoyment was had from my greentext.

>>29589277
This is amazing.

>>29597622
holy ellipsis abuse batman

>>29595262
This clusterfuck's going in the next thread simulator.

I ain't gay, but I would blow ALL the unicorn horns. Or at least the ones attached to cute ponies.

>>29598281
Of course, then you could experience all their myriad individual flavors. I'd suck off a random unicotn mare in the middle of the street. I don't give a fuck

Alright, there are like 5 RGRE threads. Which one should I keep open?

>>29598314
Still? I thought they would've been deleted by now

>>29598314
This one. Hopefully no one is lost in the others links leading here have been posted in all of them.

>>29598314
>>29598333
All the others are archived now, forever memorializing this day.

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>>29596133
Some idiot screwed up the thread five times, there was some laughing at him, and then he just quits?

Did I miss something? Why is he mad? There isn't even something to be mad about.

>>29598624
...you don't think he was the fuck up, do you? Nah, he knows how to actually check his writing, he couldn't fuck it up. Hell he isn't even one to do it either.

>>29598281
Anon is a :"unicorn comfort specialist", as he calls it. Sometimes magic gets backed up when a unicorn is under stress and has to occasionally be "relieved" by sucking on it. Anon doesn't even do it for the money, he just enjoys being treated like the fairer sex and slutting it up during his time in equestria

>>29598624
>>29598645
I thought the aborted threads were a joke?

>>29598748
Nope, someone fucked them up. By accident. We have a true retard.

>>29598665
Almost-Satan has the right idea.

As it turns out, Twilight's hornjizz is great on toast.
Lyra's is amazing in coffee.
Celestia's lets him shoot lasers from his eyes.

Anon is slowly adopting an all-goo diet.

>>29598624
Dunno, it was one guy who might have just came in when they saw this was happening to be an ass. One post as far as I know.

>>29598772
no homo

>>29598766
Remember the drunk AiE Anon of the might 10+ thread fail-up.

>>29598624
Awww.
We love you AnalPlugAnon, please come back to us.

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>>29598792
Shit's cray-cray, yo. I'ma pick up again when things are less wack. As a reward for putting up with me, y'all will get the entire finished story posted all at once.

>>29598956
Neat, also. Cray cray, are you a retard or is someone else making this message for you? The thread is stable now. What are you doing?

>>29598956
Shit in the thread is wack, or shit in real life is wack? Because if it's the thread you're talking about, it's stable now.

>>29598984
Stuff. Mostly thinking about going to bed.

>>29598986
Things aren't so great for me right now IRL. I'd go into details but you don't want a blog post.

>>29598987
>>29598990
Okay...why did you say this though for no reason>>29596133

>>29598990
No, you're right, I don't want a blog post. I get it if shit is going downhill IRL, I'm a writefag here too but I haven't had time to update my story since real life is starting to go to shit for me. Take your time in fixing things for yourself man, people will be happy to read your story whenever you post it.

>>29598956
>As a reward for putting up with me, y'all will get the entire finished story posted all at once.
which story is that

is your rgre first episode story already over

>>29598998
I got a call and had to leave for most of the day to take care of the IRL stuff. I made a snap decision to make a quick post before I left, and it turned out to be a poor choice. Sorry.

>>29599006
I appreciate it. Sorry about that "shit's wack yo" bullshit back there by the way. Sometimes I do stupid shit like that when I'm nervous.

>>29599014
http://pastebin.com/PfvhAejw
This one right here. Ancestors Anonymous.

>>29599006
>>29599014
Look at the positives, lots of words incoming in a few threads.

>>29599022
>http://pastebin.com/PfvhAejw
FUCK it is

>>29599051
Applefang (Ancestors) and Lero meets Prince Anon (Whatever it is called)are the main two RGRE Greentexts I am looking forward to.

Who was writing that green where Pinkie loved Anon, but Limestone was trying to court him because the stone told her to?

>>29599788
ded
just like the others

all ded

>>29599788
I think the writer just lost interest.

Anon
>Wears a suit and a mask, class level: very high
>Not a smoker
>Knows how to make fun of himself
>Tall
>Has a stand
>Good womanizer, stays classy even when he's being a perv
>Has a fanclub of billion of hot mare and millions of stallion as well while we're at it.
>Literal rockstar

>>29600223
The fuck has that got to do with anything?

>>29597433
>>29597622
>>29598009
I really wish I could write Pinkie better, because a secretly sad Pinks has a lot of potential (I prefer Pinkamena to be more depressed than psychotic)

Hey guys, I'm trying to find a short RGRE green with Pinkie.

Anon gets roofied at a party at Sugar Cube Corner.
Stumbles upstairs to try to sober up.
Pinkie comes up, a bit drunk, complains to herself that she's always friendzoned. Spots Anon sitting on a couch in her room and thinks he's there to hit on her.

>>29600477
It's been done. Pinkie is drunk and about to have sex with anon while he's out of it. Anon almost gets accidentally raped

>>29600511
oh wait you're trying to FIND it. Never mind I suck cocks

>>29600475
I just wrote while I still had some inspiration for it. Most of it was in Pinkie's head so OOC could be forgiven because of that.

>>29597643
I hope I don't get too many people >>(you)ing at me for this, but probably because that's how enough people in here see women?

I mean, sure, a bunch is probably tradition, based on earlier stories, or it's exaggeration for effect or to avoid having people yell ">not RGRE enough" at them.

But enough are just poorly socialized losers.

>>29597643
We need more stallions being Fabulous Bros with Anon.

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>>29600583
I liked the old ones when Anon used to chill with Caramel and Big Mac.

>>29600581
I think another factor is that part of the wish fulfillment is having Anon be more desirable than other males. If Anon is normal, then the stallions would be worse, which leads to prissy stallion depictions.

>>29600477
I can't believe people remember that. That was over a year ago! Anyway, I'll repost it here if that's what y'all want

>>29600521
You wouldn't happen to remember who wrote it?
I'm pretty sure it's a regular RGRE writer, but it wasn't FrostyBox, LaP, TANDGhouls or APA that I saw.


Also, holy shit. Why does this thread move so fast? I was trying to find where I left off (LaP had just started ) and I'm like four, no, FIVE threads behind.

>You are sitting alone on a couch in one of the upstairs rooms of sugarcube corner
>The music was pretty loud and you think there was something in your drink so you came upstairs to clear your head for a while
>Fucking pony drugs are so weak, you’ll probably be fine in another half hour
>Damn if the room isn’t spinning right now though
>Suddenly the room is filled with light as the door slams open
>An obviously intoxicated Pinkie Pie is swaying in the door frame eyeing up the bed in the corner while mumbling to herself
>This obviously must be her room
>Before she makes her way to the bed she closes the door, basking the room in moonlight once again
>”Fucking tease colts… always stuck in the friend zone… “Oh you’re such a good friend Pinkie” blegh.”
>She stops in the middle of the room, her face a storm of emotions
>”F-f-fucking colts. Maybe I’m just too nice. Maybe that’s why they don’t notice me.”
>Oh boy that’s really not a good line of thought, time to put a stop to this
>You try to stand up but find that you can’t
>The room spins intensely the moment you try moving and you end up leaning back into your chair and letting out a gasp
>Fuuuck whatever cunt mare drugged your drink wasn’t fucking around
>Probably got whatever this was specifically for you
>You’ll have to keep an eye out next time you go out, this was actually pretty dangerous
>Pinkie finally notices you on the couch
>She blinks and scrunches her muzzle adorably in confusion before her eyes widen
>A wide almost predatory smirk finds its way across her face and she starts drunkenly strutting towards you
>Oh boy, this won’t be good
>”Hey there hot stuff, what are you doing up here all by your lonesome.”
>Before you can gather your thoughts and reply pinkie is already somehow leaning up on the couch with her hoof against your lips
>”Shhhh shhh shh… Shhhh.” She giggles, “I know what you’re here for Nonnypoo. You want a piece of the Pinkster don’t ya?”

>>29600607
>She slowly climbs up onto your lap, and over her shoulder you can see her tail starting to sway left and right pretty strongly
>Your heart starts to race and all that’s going through your mind is “ohshitohshitohshit”
>As she sits herself down she presses herself against you, almost rubbing herself on you
>You realise she’s sniffing your chest as she slowly brings her face up your body towards yours
>Shaking your head you realise you should put a stop to this now
>You try to stand up once again but between the state you’re in and Pinkies weight all you do is squirm
>Suddenly Pinkies great big sapphire blue eyes are staring deeply into yours
>You just stare back, your mind going blank
>She slowly leans up, her soft coat hairs brushing against your cheek, and whispers sultrily in your ear
>Her hot, alcohol thick breath washing against your face as she does
>”Shh, silly Nonny, you don’t need to do a thing. Just sit back and let Pinkie take care of everything.”
>She begins grinding her hips lightly while a hoof slowly slips down your chest towards your crotch
>Your heart is trying to pump its way out of your chest
>Your breathing is coming fast and ragged
>Pinkie brings her face back to yours, your lips brushing against each other as she passes before settling a few inches in front of you
>Her hoof finally bumps against your belt buckle
>She looks down at her hoof before looking back into your eyes
>She deliberately moves her hoof from your belt and instead grabs a hooffull of your bulge
>”Oops.” She giggles, but makes no effort to move her hoof and instead seems to be copping a feel even more
>“Lemme get those pesky pants off you now cutey. Oooh Mammas gonna take her time with you…”

>>29600602
Oh hey cool. I don't know why I thought it was really sweet, even if it was missing a line I really wanted which would've been something like, "I'm glad you care so much Pinkie, but come on. I don't remember much, but I remember the horror in your eyes didn't come when somepony else showed up, like you were worried you were caught, but when you realized I was drugged. So don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"

>>29600605
We seem to go through a thread every day or two.

They would last at least a little longer if we didn't have the shitposting shitstorm of REEEE-ing about pointless bullshit (whether it be discord existing or that guy who has a grudge against Durnk, or whatever some moron is butthurt about that day) every single thread.

>>29600611
>Her hoof finally stops groping you and moves to your belt when suddenly the door to pinkies room shoots open, blinding you with light
>”Waaah! Ooof!”
>Pinkie fell off your lap and now is crumpled on the floor
>Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash walk in through the door looking around the room
>”Hey Pinkie, have you seen Anonymous anywhere? We heard some mares downstairs say something pretty suspicious and we wanted to check if he was okay?”
>Rainbow Dash spots you and flies above your head
>”Here he is Twi. How’re ya doin’ big guy?”
>Your mouth is suddenly really dry
“H-hey. Can, err… I have some water.”
>”Yeah sure, I’ll get ya that in a second. Hey Twi the big guy isn’t looking too good…”
>Twilight sighs before walking over to you, lifting your head up with magic and looking at your eyes
>”They must have managed to get whatever it was into his drink. We should have gotten their cutie marks…”
>”It’s not that big a town yet Twilight, I’m sure we’ll find them.”
>”Yeah Rainbow, you’re probably right. We should get him to the hospital for the night to make sure he’s okay. Thanks for taking care of him Pinkie. I’ll go downstairs to get applejack to help carry him.”
>”I’ll help. You take care of him Pinks, ‘kay?”
>Pinkie had been silent the whole time, her eyes going wider and wider the more they talked
>She startles once she realises Rainbow Dash was talking to her.
>”R-right. I’ll look after Nonny”
>Rainbow dash barely acknowledges her before shooting out of the room after Twilight
>Pinkie looks after Dash for a few seconds before turning her big watery blue eyes up at you
>”Anon… I am SOOO sorry… I- I just didn’t realise… I thought…I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I…” Pinkie breaks off and she looks like she’s about to cry

>>29600619
>You finally manage to gain enough control of your body to lean forward, resting your head on your hands
“Pinkiiee…”
>Goddamn even you know how fucked up you sound
>Twilight might be right about that hospital idea
“’Ssokay pinkeh. Is okay.”
>You start to wobble a bit and pinkie quickly rushes in to push you back into the chair
>Damn this chair is comfy right now
>Pinkie looks stunned at you, before a smile spreads across her face
>She leaps up onto the couch and hugs you tightly, burying her face in your shoulder
>”Thank you Nonnykins… You’re a really super great friend.”
>As you slowly start to pass out from the super comfyness of the chair you manage out a couple words.
“…No frienshone…”

I don't really know who wrote this, but I hope they come back to write for us

so I've written close to six hundred lines of my sharkpone story, but I'm wondering if I should leave the fight scene in it. some pones later come to investigate the scene and I don't know if it would just be boringly redundant. also i don't know if i can write fite scenes well.

should I leave it in, or just leave it up to the reader's imagination to put together what happened in the fight?

>>29600636
Maybe just imply the beginning and end of the fight scene?

>>29600605
http://pastebin.com/iq2FFRCg

thank me by writing a pinke pie story

>>29600626
theres more
>>29600696

>>29600696
Weird. No wonder I couldn't find it.

I'll definitely write a Pinkie Pie story. But it may not be soon. Sheesh. I've already promised so much.

>>29600607
Weird coincidence, I just re-read this like a week ago and was in the middle of grep-ing my copies of the RGRE threads to find it again for the other Anon.

About four threads back now I found somebody talking shit about Methods of Rationality and I want them to know that they're incorrect in the strongest possible terms.

>>29556600
>>Anon dresses up as a hero in tight spandex for nightmare night.
>>He's the equivalent of a Zero Suit cosplayer.
>>something something rgre
Know joy, friend from a few days ago, for this already exists. Spaghetti and Fillies, read the first parts if you want, it's in Pumpkin Pasta:
http://pastebin.com/u/tANDghouls

>>29596216
>>29596292
Will you just fucking leave already? You're probably the same fuck head who bitches about the discord chat. Just fuck off, you don't write green, you don't give good constructive criticism, you sure as fuck aren't useful here. Just fuck off and kill yourself, the ponies are waiting so they can ignore you too.

>>29599788
Writer was invited to the chat.
>>29600154
>>29599871
then these basically.

>>29600223
"Irrelevance the post." Its a work of art.

>>29600590
Faggots, even at the end of a species they do the wrong thing. And Pinkie does that shit anyways, with the mirror pool for the most part.

>>29600605
You didn't miss anything, some retard fucked up making the thread five times, your all caught up.

>>29600636
If its your first, then probably go with this>>29600655
then just go over it with the detectives. That way you can keep it vague or go full Sherlock Holmes.

Hey guys, i m searching for any greens where Anon was a friend of Twiggles but starts distancing himself from her after alicornification, anyone know any paste of it?

>>29601105
I think those were one shot prompts.

>>29601105
Hey Unattractive dash no sadly no one picked up those prompts, but if someone could kindly repost them someone may.

>>29600223
>literal rockstar
>non smoke

Pick one

>>29601266
>rockstar
because smoke is bad for your lungs.

Did it die?

>>29601809
Did what die?

>>29601809
You wish.

>>29601813
No one has had posted in 3 hours.

>>29601830
oh no how awful

gg no re

>>29597433
Be more specific about what is being said and done outside of Pinkie's head. If you don't describe the scene it's just awkward.

>>29601830
The few writefags that don't use the chat had real life shit to do, did you not read a few posts up? And LaP posted last thread, considering the giant dumps he does it takes awhile. The rest don't bear mentioning for obvious reasons, as they are dead. Side note, pick either has or had posted*, using both of them that close together doesn't make sense.

>>29597622
Also your English needs work, as does your general flow and structure.

That's it. I'm done. I'm done with this fucking English. I'm leaving. Fuck this.

>>29601858
If you leave the retards win. Don't let them win.

>>29601858
lol dude you're on an English imageboard, of course you'll get shit on for being bad at English
We don't go to chink forums and use broken moonrunes, why should you do the reverse?

Story idea
CEO anon
Was a old ass businessman, dies, now in horseland but misses his shekels
There's plenty of stories of anon being the secretary, but it'd be funny to see anon building a Google on steroids mega corporation to wreck shit after the population act like shits
Could be funny to see anon slapping Twiggy with a roll of 100s after she acts like a cunt

>>29601899
Anon invents fiat currency, becomes the Rothschild of Horseland, uses his infinity dollars and political power for whatever the author wants.

>>29601858
Dude if you speak English well enough to swear properly in it, then you can certainly learn how to write properly in English. You're fine, c'mon.

>>29601858
Come on, view it as an opportunity to improve.
You can't take insults from 4ch seriously, some posters just do it because they want to anger you.
If it was actual critism, again, view it as a chance to improve.

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>>29601955
>>29601973
Engrish too hard for rittre Asian brain. He quit and go back to rife in poverty and disease in Southeast Asia.

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>>29601899
>Could be funny to see anon slapping Twiggy with a roll of 100s after she acts like a cunt

>>29601199
From the prompt doc:

>Twiggy piggy has been spending a lot of time with Anon
>Unlike other stallions, he doesn't seem to mind her being an awkward spergy bookhorse
>Whenever her friends tease her about him, she's quick to say that they are just friends
>What hurts most is that it's the truth
>And she can't seem to do anything to change it.
>A unicorn who could stare down Nightmare Moon and Discord, terrified of saying a few words to a good friend.

>Then she gets her wings
>Her body changes, she feels better than ever
>But the fundamental problem didn't change
>In fact, it got worse.
>She noticed that he seemed to be spending less and less time with her.

>Pony stallions were more than happy to try to fill the gap, with her new Alicorn form and authority.
>But she didn't want /them/.
>She wanted her friend.
>The one who hadn't cared that she was a bit messy when she ate more hayburgers than was entirely healthy
>Who would tell her stories from another world late into the night
>The only stallion besides her brother (and Spike), that she'd ever been able to truly relax around.

>But they were drifting apart, and she couldn't figure out why or what to do about it.

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>>29601199
>>29602446
Also from an earlier thread, Anon and Twiggles dating and then she alicornifies:

>"Oh my god, Anon, look at me, I'm beautiful now! My chest is deeper, my horn, oh it's wonderful. Look at the shape of my hooves! Oh, I'm so happy. And my hips! Look at how sleek and trim my flank and hind quarters are now! I hate to sound shallow, but I've never even fantasized I'd have such elegant lines. I'm so glad i get to share it with you!"
>She finally looks at you.
>"Uhm, Anon, sweety, what's wrong? Why won't you look at me?"
>You don't hear her.
>You keep staring at her cutie mark region. You've fallen to your knees and are shuffling towards it without realizing.
>The plot. It's ruined now.
>The plot that hayburger's built is gone,
>Tears begin to stream down your face.
>Even now you're hoping you can fix it, give her more burgers and milk shakes, but things will never be the same, and you must mourn.

pic related

>>29601199
>>29602452
And later:

>It was you against the world.
>Sign in hand you marched in front of the crystal castle which housed the unicorn-turned-alicorn book-horse.
>You were the only one who gave a damn.
“Save the buns, save the flanks, you say small butts, I say no thanks!”
>Should probably work on that, but there was no time for that now.
>Ever since Twilight became a princess her magical powers increased ten-fold, but at a cost which she shouldn’t have had to pay.
>”Hiya nonny what’cha doin’?”
>Looking behind you, Pinkie was hopping right along keeping pace with your march.
“I’m fighting a grave injustice Ponk. A crime has been committed and no one so much made a peep.”
>”Huh?”
“Twilights butt Pinkie, before it was something special. Now it’s nothing more than a joke and I’m not laughing.”
>Her giggling coupled with a few snorts at the travesty made you stop dead in your tracks.
>Dropping the sign you pinched Pinkie’s cheeks[the ones on her face] and looked her in the eyes.
“Laugh all you want, but that’s how it starts. First they came for her butt, but for all we know they’ll come for yours next.”
>The color drained from her face as the realization hit her like a ton of bricks.
>Her forehooves reached back as if to shield her bouncy posterior.
“You know what has to be done.”
>Picking the sign back up you resumed the protest with Pinkie following suit, a sign which she pulled from god knows where raised high.
>The cause was growing.

>>29602446
>>29602452
>>29602480
Oh god, I love this idea, would Anon herd with fellow big butt mares and hope Twilight gets the point?

>>29602495
>Anon isn't as subtle as he thinks he is

"Twilight, could you please pass the plump horse ass?"
>Twilight blinks in surprise at the non-sequitur.
>"I-I-I..." she stutters uncertainly, "Wh-what?"
>Twilight looks over her shoulders, trying to surreptitiously see if there's some kind of disembodied posterior behind her that she isn't aware of.
"Oh, silly me," you say with a laugh, "I meant, 'could you please pass the salt'?"

Terminator

>>29602877
Is a good movie but not as good as the sequel.

>>29602666
good to see you again satan

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>>29602890
>not as good as the sequel
the second one is clearly superior, please remove your shit taste

>>29602298
but you forget, they use a gold coin kind of currency.
A roll of 100's would basically be a small club.

>>29602978
>Not wanting to knock Twilight out with a gold-threaded sock full of 100 bit pieces.

>>29602970
>not as good as the sequel
>the second one is clearly superior
Anon I'm not sure what "not as good as the sequel" means to you, but it kind of implies that the sequel is better than the original. So yes, thank you for repeating what I just said. Also thank you for the new reaction image.

>You are Gustel
>Best griffon ambassador to the ponies
>Here in the palace courtyard, you're entertaining a couple mares and a stallion to lunch
>Gossip, rumors, etc.
>You made sure not to have anything even resembling meat
>But still plenty of other things you can eat, since these ponies love to stuff hay in just about everything
>Speaking about stuffing hay...
>This lunch is another attempt to get between the legs of this sleek stallion sitting next to you at the table
>Fiji Hayseed, member of the Apple Family
>THE agricultural powerhouse of this entire marshmallow empire
>Cutting deals with him and his family would get you royal recognition
>Not to mention a 'tree' to 'plant' in your own 'garden'
>Damn. You're glad you don't make euphamisms out loud
>Sure, ponies don't last as long as griffons, but the way they fill you up?
>Unf
>Even though they don't hurt so good like a good ol'griffdickin, the pain of stretching around that suits you just fine
>These damn ponies are going to ruin you for the boys back home
>Behind him, near the entrance, you notice all three princesses walking by
>They're escorting some kind of...weird minotaur
>It's almost as tall as Celestia, horn included
>Look at all those clothes, must be a bull of some kind
>Except his legs bend the wrong way
>And way too many wigglers
>No fur, either, just the tuft on his head, which is cut way too short
>Fiji breaks you out of your staring just before they pass the corner wall
>"Gustel? Hello?"
"Hmm? Sorry, I was just a little distracted by the sight of the...unique guest of the castle."
>"Oh, the hooman? I heard about him."
>So that's what he's called, huh?
"Really? What did you hear?"
>Fiji leans forward with a grin like he just found out Celestia's dirty secret
>"WELL, he's a stallion from another dimension."

>>29603075
>The mares at the table shiver at the declaration
>You, however, are unfazed.
"That sounds a little ridiculous, even for pony magic."
>"No, it's true! Princess Twilight was somehow involved in bringing him here."
>Another mare at the table sighs. "I should have known Princess Twilight was involved. I swear she submits a paper to the department every other week with some hairbrained ideas about magic experiments to try out with our expensive--and delicate!--equipment."
>Best tread lightly here, don't want to insult their new royalty
"That frequent, huh?"
>She lets out another sigh. "Yes, and I'd send her a letter requesting that she stop asking us to try things for her, but Faust above, half the time they work spectacularly."
"...and the other half?"
>"Well, let's just say she spearheaded the policy preventing stallions from participating in any of her magical experiments anymore.
>"What?!" Fiji almost yells, but he's too soft to really get angry
>Mmm, you can't wait to make him scream for real
>"That's sexist!" he continues
>The mare doesn't look impressed at his outburst.
>"Please try and /whisper/ her name around any of the stallions in my department and see what they have to say, Fiji. It will certainly be an eye-opening experience."
"Anyway," you say, trying to steer the conversation back to your own interests, "what else have you heard about the hooman?"
>That perks him up
>Nothing stallions love more than gossip
>"So I was talking to some of the Help here in the castle, and one of them was in charge of cleaning up his quarters while he lived here for a bit, and she said he smells like an incubus."
>>"Twilight summoned an incubus?"
>"No, no, he's no Tartarus-spawn, he's just from a different world and he's stuck here forever now. He can eat meat, he's got predator teeth, piercing eyes, and even..."
>He looks around, lowering his voice again
>"The maid says he sweats salt. Sweats it, just naturally!"

>That causes your own eyebrows to raise
>Salt was one of your best exports to Equestria, because the ponies just couldn't get enough
>It wasn't their version of booze, though
>They had booze here too, and some of the best damn hard cider you've ever tasted--life as an ambassador had so many perks
>Salt just...gave them a buzz, relaxed them, and generally made them a little silly
>They were damn sensitive to it, though
>He ate meat too? You ought to meet this alien stallion before you leave here
>It'd be nice to
>"She said that she was the only one on shift that could be the first one to clean his room because her sense of smell isn't that good," he says, dropping bait for follow-up questions
>>"Wait, the first one?" the mare takes it, "What do you mean?"
>"Rummaging through his sheets and clothes are so full of his scent that another pony has to come in after her and clean up after HER. They say the hooman's nose isn't as good as ours, but other ponies sure can smell 'something' after the first one gets done."
>>"No," she says/gasps
>"Yes! Those wigglers he has on the end of his forelegs are super-soft, too. He ran them through my coltfriend's hair the other day, just out of the blue and right in public, too! He said it felt so soft and good that he up and asked him to do it again!"

>>29603089
>>"Did any of the mares say anything about it?"
>"Oh please, you know how mares are," he grew a smirk, "Any chance to see colt-on-colt action, right?"
>The mare blushed hard and coughed into her hoof.
>>"Well, I sure hope Princess Twilight has a nice time, ah, 'introducing' him to ponies in Ponyville. If even half of what you said isn't an exaggeration, I'm sure he'll get along quite nicely there."
>"Ooh, that reminds me, there's this mare in Ponyville, she makes all the best dresses--"
>His voice fades as you stare at your plate of light snacks and tea, thinking hard
>You can't believe what you're hearing either
>Even if Princess Twilight, the madmare of magic, is involved somehow
>She's summoning alien creatures now?
>He was pretty strange, but what if she tries again and summons something even bigger and badder?
>You make a mental note to hire a somepony to tail him for a while and see what he's capable of
>Thinking done, you try to pick up on whatever this hot piece of dick was saying
>It's time to focus on Griffon-Pony Relations

>You are Anon
>It's been three weeks since you've moved to Ponyville, and you gotta say, it's pretty nice here.
>It really takes your mind off of the whole "magical copy of your former earth-self" thing
>Oh.
>Nevermind that, you're going to Sugarcube corner!
>It's not that long of a walk from the Crystal Castle
>Purplenerd and Buttershy are walking with you there for a few donuts and more discussion about Earth people and Earth animals
>You have to say that you're not very enthused about broaching the second topic with bananahush, but hey, it's totally different when most of them have no human intelligence, right?
>Wait
>You notice a pony standing near the corner of SCC
>The sugarcube corner...corner
>Heh
>She's got a trenchcoat, a fedora with a horn sticking out of it, and a notepad with quill floating in front of her
>You point at her

>>29603099
"Hey Twilight, who's that?"
>"Who?"
>You jerk back to look at her, wondering if the silly cartoon magic here could let her pull a batman and just disappear
>Nope, she's still there
>Just sitting on her flank, her forehooves in the deep pockets of her trenchcoat, leaning her back against the building and trying to look as hardboiled as possible
"That pony right there, on the wall."
>Twilight squints, but keeps walking
>"I don't see anypony there. I know you think we're really colorful, Anon, but none of us are colorful enough to blend in with the sides of buildings, even Sugarcube Corner."
>Well whatever
>These ponies are so harmless you couldn't care less if this pony had some kind of ulterior motive
>The worst she might be planning is something along the lines of stealing one sock from each of the pairs the Princess got made for you, or something
>"Anon!"
>Ponks pronks right out of the front doors of the building, jumping up to give you a hug around the neck
>Your arms come up out of instinct, holding her like you're Shaggy and she's Scooby
"Like, hey Penka," your voice cracks out
>"I'm so glad you came! You're gonna love eating my donut!"
>Twilight's wings spring up at her words, but they just wind up slapping her on the side
>"Pinkie!"
>Penka giggles and hugs you even tighter
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Twiggles here, I'm planning on having more than just one you know."
>"Ooh, sounds like you have quite the appetite! Good! I've always wanted a stallion with a hunger like yours!"
>Twilight has turned away from the both of you, her wings up in irritation

>>29603004
Anon acts like a reverse cave mare with his money bat when drunk, knocks mares out and takes them home every Friday.

>>29603105
>"Pinkie Pie, PLEASE!"
"It's alright Twilight, cooks like Panks here always love a man with an appetite for their goods."
>Twilight lets out a huge sigh of frustration and heads inside, knowing that Pinkie's probably going to interruting her boring science talk
>"Never change, Anon," Pinkie sighs, resting her head on your shoulder and pressing her poofy mane into your face, "never change."
"Sure thing, Pinks. Say, do you know who that pony is hanging out on the side of your building over there?"
>Pinkie doesn't even bother to look up
>"Oh, that's just Hard Boiled, she's a PI from Canterlot. She wouldn't tell me what she's here for, so I'm guessing she's working on a story about Twilight!"
"...Hard Boiled?"
>"Uh-huh."
"Her name is Hard Boiled, and she's a PI?"
>"Yup!"
"And you're ok with her snooping around here?"
>"Yep-yeppers! All she's really allowed to do under Equestrian Law as a Licensed Pony Investigator is snoop around and ask questions anyway, and Twilight needs all the good exposure she can get! Inform masses, gain recognition!"
"You know what? I'm just going to ignore the depth of the words you just spouted and treat her like everypony else is. Let's eat!"

>Be Hard Boiled
>You've been assigned to investigate the alien Anonymous, and figure out anything you can about him
>Currently, your heart is still beating out of your chest because he can see through your disguise
>As far as you can tell he's not immune to magic, but perhaps his mind doesn't work the same way most ponies' minds do
>The hat and trenchcoat always works!
>You still manage to keep your cool, though, and not show any alarm
>You aren't called Hard Boiled for nothing.

>>29603113
>Thankfully that crazy baker mare straightened him out on you, so you should be good for now.
>You head on back to the little office you're renting from the newspaper and go over your notes
>1) Not an incubus, but pretty damn close. Possible incubus bloodline?
>2) Eats meat, vegetables, and grains, but not hay or flowers. Most foods require cooking before he can consume them. Travels into Everfree forest on tuesday and friday evenings to get potions from the local zebrican shaman Zecora. Potions reduce his cravings for meat and fulfill any nutritional requirements the Equestrian diet lacks.
>3) Twilight claims she summoned him here by accident, and that he's a copy of himself from wherever he's from. Possibility for summoning a clone army? Must investigate further.
>4) Completely and utterly oblivious to pony sexual signals. Probably a virgin, since all the old stallions you've talked to say unicorns can only summon virgins. No possibility for further study without involving the College.
>5) Backwards taboos from his home dimension require that he avoid every being nude, and instead goes wearing clothes everywhere: errands, home, bed, even the pool. More evidence for incubus theory.
>6) Sexual stamina of an incubus. Rude comment by mare in street about lasting more than thirty seconds led to him admitting to Twilight that finishing in two minutes is an insult back home. Must investigate further.
>Artist's concept art of genetalia attached. Must investigate further.
>7) No magical ability whatsoever, at least, not that you've seen. No reports of him using any kind of detectable magic.
>8) Definitely a predator species, even beyond sexual predators. Showing teeth or eating any kind of meat (even fish) makes ponies uncomfortable. Smaller species of animals avoid him as such, except for Fluttershy's bear friend.

>>29603120
>That should be good enough, for now at least.
>Time to type it up and send it off to your client, some mare in Canterlot.
>You thought, at the time, that somepony in Canterlot would probably just try and get a copy of any information Princess Twilight discovered through Princess Celestia or the College's biology department, but the pay was big enough for you to overlook any kind of shade this job might have.
>Besides, you didn't mind at all to get paid to watch this incubus all day


>Be Anon
>Adapting to life in Ponyville rather well, you think
>You lucked out when Twilight was the one to befriend you, since she has a bunch of friends here already
>They liked her before she was princess, too
>These friend-hipster pones seemed pretty fond of you too, always trying to get you out and doing new things
>The small town really didn't have all that much to offer, but it was entertaining at least
>You managed to avoid getting swept up in any kind of "adventures" these mares go on, which is good since you don't think cartoon physics applied to you
>Not that you tested it, despite Twilight's insistence
>Some of the other ponies in town didn't take too well to your presence here, but since you were friends with the local princess it didn't really matter much what they thought
>You hung out a lot with Ponk since they found out you can cook well
>They said it was "a suitable skill for a stallion to have"
>All Dash and AJ wanted to do was hard physical labor, physical training, or go swimming
>They seemed especially excited to see you in your swim trunks at the lake

>>29603124
>Probably because they had never heard of swimming suits before and you told them your skin changes color when exposed to the sunlight enough
>Twiggles wanted to document everything but you just wanted to have fun at the beach
>Some of the mares in town had given you strange looks and said wearing something like that was something stallions were supposed to do
>Was it more risque to be only a little exposed but polite to walk around in your birthday suit?
>Fucking nudist ponies and their weird rules for clothes
>And boy they have some strange ideas about what stallions are supposed to do
>But you suppose they don't have the best examples here in town
>Caramel was really feminine
>Mares said he might be batting for the other team
>Big Macintosh was a pretty large pony
>But he hardly said anything to anyone, much less leave the farm
>They also said it wouldn't do you any good to be seen eating meat
>Not with the pair of chompers you got stuffed into your face
>Fluttershy's hens didn't produce enough eggs to really make up for the lack of essential amino acids you needed
>When you told Purple Pony Princess just what might happen if you went without those found in red meat or eggs she told you to go see Zecora until a more permanent solution could be reached
>Fluttershy's hens still didn't want to produce more eggs and you didn't exactly have a monopoly on the egg demands in this town
>Not with the amount of eggs that Ponk and co. went through making all sorts of pastries
>So you paid her a visit with all the girls in tow inside the Everfree Forest
>Kind of reminded you of home
>The ponies thought it was creepy and said there were all sorts of monsters hiding somewhere deeper in the woods, but you hadn't seen anything like that

>>29603131
>Most of the time when you went into the forest you didn't even see the little critters typical of this kind of environment
>Twilight said that your "predator aura" kept most things away, and the larger creatures didn't venture this close to the edge of the forest
>So now you were heading to Zecora's place on a warm summer evening
>The forest was pretty quiet and a light breeze passed through the trees, pushing around the nice smells of a forest
>You liked hanging out with Zecora, she was a nice Zebra
>Despite the rhyming, she seemed to be a lot more worldly and well-travelled than these ponies
>Her tea was the shit
>And las time you talked to her and told her about some of the things people back home thought potions would be able to do, she laughed and said she'd see what she could do
>The world-enlarging potion would be interesting to walk around town with
>See the world as the poines do
>You bent down to knock and she arrived a moment later
>You were hit with a wall of varying smells from the open door
>Her mixing pot hotboxed her tree sometimes
>"Anon, my friend, welcome back. I almost finished making what you lack."
>She ushered you inside
"Good to hear, Zecora. How much do I owe you this time?"
>"You won't pay me, in this you have no choice. I've spoken with Twilight, who will receive an invoice."
"Ah, that's nice of her. I didn't know she was footing the bill for my meds now."
>"The both of us have worked out a deal, for there is something she does not wish me to steal."
"What? How could you steal something all the way out here?"

>>29603139
>She lidded her eyes and grew a smirk that you knew meant something cryptic was about to leave her mouth
>But she turned away before she started speaking, leaning way over her pot to stir it
>You thought it was kinda cute the way she had to move her whole body to work that giant stirring stick
>"Not all valuables can be set on a shelf. Sometimes what we hold dear is inside ourself. Perhaps she thinks in me you'll find a friend, that would cause her...other pursuit to end."
>She finished by pulling out the stirring rod and licking the lower half, putting the tip into her mouth
>Well she is a professional, better not question her taste-testing methods
"I don't think she should be worried. I have plenty of time to be her friend too. I'm not going to stop seeing her just because she can't do the same things you can."
>"Of this I can assure you I have no doubt, but our deal requires you do not find out."
"Whatever. Twilight can nerd out all she wants about this whole thing so long as my joints don't start falling apart. Or was that scurvy? I don't remember exactly what it was, but it's bad. Hey, do you have any tea?"
>"With you I would love to share a cup, give me a moment to finish up."
"Thanks! Yours is the best in town. Near town. Best that I've had here."
>Nice one man
>But she doesn't call you out on being awkward, which is nice.

>>29603146
>Four hours and a hundred stanzas of poetry later, you departed
>Zecora sure needed a lot of help making her potions
>Apparently she actually had a bunch of orders to backfill for ponyville
>You were stuck being her gopher, and she just spent most of the time bent over her cauldron doing her cute little stirring dance
>You choked down the little potion as soon as she finished
>It tasted like burnt hobo butthole, but it worked
>You hardly felt any cravings for meat
>Walking down the path, the sun was just setting, and soon Celestia would soon have to "lower" it completely for Luna to "raise" the moon
>You thought about correcting them, since you kinda remember your college physics fomulas for gravity, but the two princesses were so adorable you couldn't bring yourself to tell them
>Your footsteps on the soft dirt path, surrounded by trees, was the only thing you could hear as you returned
>Which was strange since the cicadas usually started to chirp around this time of day
>You slow down your pace, listening hard for anything at all
>The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end
>Which usually meant that either Ponks or RD were going to show up out of nowhere
>There
>Soft flapping behind you
>Not this time, Dash
>You're onto her game
>You're going to tickle the shit out of her this time
>You wait until the last possible second to turn and shoot your hand out to grab her before she tackles you again

>>29603152
>A decidedly more feathery neck found its way into your grip, with a loud squawk following
>A nasty-looking griffon with a linen sack in one of her claws looked back at you with wide eyes
>In that moment you could feel your heart nearly burst in your chest from the adrenaline rush
>One of her claws came up to slash your face, but you tilted your head back just enough to avoid it
>Your other hand that wasn't full of griffon shot forward to give her a body shot, but she twisted to the side
>You wound up just hitting one of her fuckhuge wings instead
>She sucked in a huge gasp when it connected
>Must be sensitive
>You gave her wingbone an underhand grip and tried to give it a twist
>If she got airborne again you were done for
>Her back paws jumped up and kicked you square in the stomach to give her some distance, but all it wound up doing was pulling her wing out of joint, along with a few feathers
>A wing in trade for your breath? You'd take that deal
>A wet pop was all you heard from her wing before she broke free with a shout
>"Buck! Antonia, get your cunt in gear!"
>You fell onto your side and rolled to get up, the soft underbrush of the forest floor saving you from breaking an elbow or something, and you scambled to pick up a fallen stick
>Are there others?
>What are they trying to do here?
>Doesn't matter, you're not going down without a fight.
>It's either them or you
>Only one of you is leaving this forest.
>You choose yourself.

>>29603156
>You wake up to darkness and a rushing of wind in your ears and around your body
>You can feel your hands and legs are tied with rope around some kind of pole, like you're being set up to be put over a spicket
>It's a good thing your head is covered, since you can't tell if they're flying incredibly high up in the sky with a precariously questionable method of securing you to this pole, or flying fast and low over the terrain to avoid detection
>You just assume it's fast and low, which makes this whole thing less scary
>Your head and neck hurt something fierce, along with the cuts on your stomach
>You don't want to struggle, since you're pretty sure if you come loose you won't spontaneously get wings
>You're nowhere even close to completing a friendship spell, or however Twiggles did it
>"So who's coming back for Antonia and Trudy?" a womanly voice asks over the sound of the wind
>"No one! Those high and mighty cunts got what was coming to them!" another answers.
>"One of those damn ponies are sure to find them though, and then we'll be plucked!"
>"Forget it, they're monsterfood now! Besides, we get to split their cut!"
>"They better not have damaged this thing beyond repair, or we're getting nothing!"
>"No way! Now we have proof this thing is a fighter along with being an incubus! The Ottomare traders will have us swimming in gold to get their hooves on this thing!"
>Well shit.
>They're going to sell you into horse-slavery, if those traders are anything like the similarly-named ones back home
>You're going to have to try and escape as soon as possible, hopefully while still somewhere in Equestria
>Just...have to...
>Stay...
>awake

>Be Hard Boiled again

>>29603158
>It's been a while since you've seen Nonny
>Anonymous. Your target's name is Anonymous.
>Anyway, he went into the forest last night to see Zecora and didn't return this morning
>Did she finally manage to convince Anonymous to submit to a pony's advances?
>Perhaps he spent the night with her last night
>It would crush the spirit of the other mares if Anonymous has eyes only for Zebras, but that isn't your job to break to them
>You've been walking around the main entrance to the path of this forest before even sunrise, hoping to see him
>You find a spot next to a tree and lean in, waiting for Anonymous to emerge
>You take off your hat and set it next to the ground, you probably don't need it in this shade and this early in the morning
>As soon as it touches the ground, though, the local baker emerges from the inside and stretches her neck out to get her face very close to you
>"Hiya!"
>You nearly fall over from the shock, but thankfully the tree was there to hold you up
"Pinkie Pie? What are you doing in my hat?"
>"I was looking for you, and I figured you'd probably be under your hat since you seem to wear it everywhere, and what better place to look first? See? I found you!"
>That...that makes sense like a joke makes sense.
>Like 'it was in the last place i looked' sense.
>You might have to do a personal investigation into this pony for your own sanity
>You try and adopt a hard, no-nonsense attitude and speak back to her
"Why were you looking for me?"

>>29603165
>"Twilight wants to know where Nonny went, since he wasn't there to have breakfast with her like a real coltfriend would! Not that they were sleeping together in the same room, but hey, at least it's in the same building so that's a start, right? Anyway, he didn't show up for breakfast even though Twilight made her favorite breakfast food which is egg sandwhiches, so she sent me to go find him, since I know everypony in Ponyville, and here I am now asking you, since you've been following him around for a long time!"
>You thank Faust that your natural investigation skills allowed you to actually follow, understand, and take notes about what she said
>A lesser pony would have been overwhelmed, but you managed to catch all of it
>Looks like Twilight hasn't been shy around her friends about her intentions with the incubus.
>That, or Pinkie Pie's strange senses have given her this knowledge
>This requires further investigation. If somepony else has this kind of power, you may go out of business since everypony can notice you
>Aaaaand she's completely out of your hat now and watching you take notes
>She's standing about two feet away from you, but her neck has stretched out to let her look over your shoulder at your notepad
>"Oh, that's just my Pinkie-Sense, and you should ask Twilight if you want to know more about it, but I'd advise against it, since even just TRYING to figure out how it works by Equestria's greatest bookpony and researchpony drove her bonkers!"
"R-right. Well, the last time I saw him he was heading to Zecora's house in the Everfree forest last night to get another dose of the potion she makes him."
>"Really? Wow, you're really good at this stuff! Wait, you said last night?!"
>She mashes both her hooves against her face and squeezes it like rubber ball
>That mouth as she gasps...
>You shudder. That one will give you nightmares for sure.
>"That means that Nonny...N-nonny, he-"

>>29603174
>You can't help but think of what kinds of things he was getting up to
>Damn zebras, always on the prowl for your stallions.
>On the next episode of STRIPED...
"Probably slept with Zecora."
>"-had a sleepover and didn't invite any of his friends! I gotta tell Twilight!"
>Whatever. It's a nicer solution than what you suggested.
"I'll be here waiting, then."
>You reach down to pick up your hat, but Pinke beats you to it, stuffing a hoof inside it again
>You hear a muffled "Hey!" just before her hoof pulls out a purple tail with a pink stripe through it
>Then the rest of the local Princess follows, landing on her rump with her mane all out of place
>"Pinkie! Why'd you pull me through...her hat? I knew that hole was too small!"
>"Twilight, I found Hard Boiled! That pony that's been following Nonny around town for the longest time, and SHE knows where he went, since she's been keeping such a close eye on him!"
>Princess Twilight Sparkle gets a faraway look in her eyes for a moment before slowly turning her head to you
>You were already nervous getting attention from royalty but this is just downright creepy
>"Who are you and why have you been following Anonymous? Why haven't I seen you around town if you've been here for so long? Why do you know where he is?"
"Forgive me, your majesty, but I've been hired by a client in Canterlot to investigate the capabilities and behavioral patterns of the inc-I mean Anonymous. They were concerned about an unknown entity hanging around Royalty without us knowing what he is or can do."
>Her eyes go even wider
>She grabs you by the popped collar of your trenchcoat
>"Are you saying you have NOTES? Written with an outsider's perspective and without personal interaction with Anon? I must have them!"
"I-I'll send you an invoice if you want a copy of the report, Princess! But I think we have a more important matter at hoof right now"
>"What could be more important than that?"

>>29603181
>Pinkie comes to your rescue
>"Twilight, we still have to find Nonny! She said he went to Zecora's house last night and didn't come out of the forest!"
>"He hasn't come out yet?"
"No, he has not emerged from the forest since last night, Princess. I'm afraid something might have happened."
>"Oh no, no, no! I can't let something bad happen to Anonymous while he's under my care, the Princess would be furious with me! What if he got attacked while he was on his way? What if a manticore made off with him, or even a dragon? Ooh, I shouldn't have let him talk me into going through there all alone!"
"I highly doubt a predator approached him this close to the edge of the Everfree, Princess. Please calm down, I think he, um...I think something different might have happened to explain his absense."
>"L-like what?"
>Pinkie blurts out what probably happened with the grace of a train
>"Nonny had a sleepover with Zecora, and didn't invite us!"
>Twilight stares at her for a moment.
>"He what?"
>"You know, he had a sleepover with Zecora! Staying with her all night, drinking drinks and eating cookies and jumping on the bed and making her hairdo into weird shapes before passing out from all the fun!"
"Before we go off the deep end here, why don't we just go pay him a visit? I'm sure a few questions will clear all this up before your imagination runs wild."
>"Th-that sounds like a good idea, let's go."

>Fifteen minutes later the three of you reach a particularly interesting spot on the path.

>>29603187
>You shoot a hoof out to stop Twilight before she steps on anything
>She gives you a weird look just before Pinkie squishes into her backside, then bounces back onto the ground like a rubber ball
"Stop. Look."
>You point a hoof to the markings on the dirt path.
>Scrapes and deep gashes that wouldn't be needed for a simple walk
>There's also a few rather large feathers
>You almost pull out your notepad to take notes but you reconsider your company
>To help keep either of them from interfering, you turn to talk to Twilight first
"Princess, would you mind taking down whatever I describe? Something happened here, and I'll need to have a good description of whatever I find to go over later. Probably with the Royal Guards."
>"I thought we were going to go find Anonymous? We can't let a stallion just wander about the Everfree alone!"
"If he's still at Zecora's he's safe. If, however, this involves him somehow, we should make note of it. Either way, I need to write up an investigation report on this."
>"Wait, are you even qualified to do this sort of thing? We should get the guard to investigate."
"Princess, part of my liscence to investigate also covers crime scenes, should I come across anything in my work. Can I trust you to transcribe my observations and make magical impressions of anything I find?"
>Four scrolls, a quill, and a jar of ink materialize out of nowhere with a flash of her horn
>Yeah, you got her number
>"Of course! Anything you say while inspecting?"
"Yes, please. Pinkie Pie, can you keep a lookout for any animals approaching? If something happened this close to the edge of the forest, I don't want any nasty surprises."
>"Okie Dokie Lokie!"

>>29603194
>She gives you a salute and perches on top of Twilight's flank
>Twilight doesn't even flinch, despite how many hooves are now very close to her wingjoints.
>They must be pretty close
>Don't get sidetracked. Focus.
"Several large indentations in the middle of the road, different kinds of feet. Further ahead are prints matching what a bipedal creature wearing artificial footwear would make. Most likely the alien known as Anonymous. The swirls in the dirt here suggest a quick turn. Second set of imprints are three wide grooves, each with a smaller and deeper indentation in the center. Probably the legs of a lion, dog, or cat, but too large for any domestic variety. Lack of mud or dried mud prevents identification."
>You look to the side of the path and notice a few large feathers blown up to the unkempt grass
"Several brown feathers piled on far side of path. All same shade of brown."
>You delicately float a couple up closer to your face using your magic, leaving the others undisturbed
"Same shade of brown. Probably primary and secondary feathers from the same creature.
>You give them a sniff
"Smells freshly-plucked. Presence of feathers eliminates the possibility of manticore or previous animal possibilities listed. Length and width of feathers suggest griffon origin. Magical imprint of feathers attached."
>You turn to Twilight and float the feathers over to her. She nods and takes them, creating a scale imprint of each type in color on the page.
"Pinkie, did any griffons enter Ponyville in the last two weeks?"
>"No way, hay-zay! I would know, since I know if anypony or anygriffon or really just about anything enters the town limits of Ponyville. It's my job as the Ponyville Premier Party Planner to know!"

>>29603202
>You point out a bag from the side of the road to Twilight and magically inspect it, trying not to disturb its position.
"No record of them entering Ponyville. Were they lost in the woods and came across Anonymous? Possible. One linen bag with drawstring on opposite side of trail. Empty. Dimensions noted below. Tracks on road lead to the right and into the trees."
>You backstep a few paces and walk off the path trying to follow where it leads.
>As soon as all four hooves are surrounded by the untamed growth, the wind shifts.
>You're nearly bowled over by the stench and pull out a hankerchief, wrapping it around your muzzle.
>You know this smell.
>You turn and look at the other ponies with you, who are dealing with it...not as well as you are.
>Twilight looks sick and Pinkie's face has turned green.
"Princess, I think perhaps you should stay here. I don't think what we're going to find will be pretty. I can take notes if the smell is too much, unless you really want to follow me."
>"I'm, urp, I'm ok. I can be strong if it means finding out if Anonymous is ok."
>Pinkie makes a gagging motion with her face.
>"It certainly doesn't SMELL pretty! Who could ever call something so stinky pretty? I've never smelled something ugly before, but that is definitely an ugly smell not even a momma smell could love!"
>"Pinkie," Twilight coughs out, "do you have any emergency hankies, like what Hard Boiled has?"
>Pinkie reaches into her tail and pulls out a couple hankies, one with a brightly-colored balloon pattern and the other covered in cupcakes.
>They both put them on their faces like you did and you can tell by their watering eyes they're trying to smile
>At least you're inside a forest
>Nopony must ever see you investigating a crime scene like this
>You'd never be taken seriously again

>>29603208
"Path leads approximately forty hooves east into the forest off the main path to a very small clearing. Here there are...oh Celestia...I've never seen anything like this. Princess, Pinkie, please stay back. I don't want you to see this."
>"Are you sure? We could help!"
"Very, very sure, Princess. My name is Hard Boiled for a reason, but I don't think anyone else but me and a few Royal Guards should see this."
>"Wait, did you find Anonymous? Is he there? Is he hurt? Let me-"
"No!"
>You point a hoof back to her to keep her from getting any closer
>Luna's Teats this was grim, but at least you couldn't see Anonymous' body.
"He's not here, Princess. Please stay back, just write down what I say."
>"O-oh, ok. If you're sure, I mean, you are a professional."
"Right. Just...try to stay clinical about this."
>You take a deep breath and pull out your camera.
>The massive thing took up most of the space in your pack and wasn't necessarily that useful trying to keep a low profile while investigating somepony because of the flash
>It also didn't have the same quality as magical impressions of items on a scroll, but it was invaluable for catching ponies in the act of doing something they shouldn't.
>You've caught half a dozen baker's assistants and gotten them fired for literally catching them with their hoof in the cookiejar.
>But now you're glad you kept it on you for this job.

>>29603212
"Here we go. Two griffons, both female, deceased. Corpses approximately twenty hooves apart from each other. Subject A: Female griffon, brown and white, light blue highlights. Young appearance, deceased. Laying on left side with large and deep wound on left side of barrel. Rough edges around injury, probably torn open. Organs exposed. Blood trail approximately ten hooves long with trailing innards. Only one opening to wound, most likely not perpetrated by animal. Black eye on left side swollen shut suggests significant time between injury and expiration."
>You take a picture and trot over to a tree on the far side of the clearing where the other one lay
"Subject B: Female griffon, brown and white, light brown highlights. Young appearance, deceased. Going up from hindlegs: laying on back with dislocated wing. Dislocated wing bent at base to be upside down and parallel with body. Several feathers missing, the rest are the same color as the ones we found on the road. Assess those feathers to have been plucked from this griffon's wing. Blood, red, present on tips of right claws, lab analysis required. Feathers around neck upturned next to deep red marks covering almost the entire circumference--most likely choked with some kind of rope or tool, but no such tools present near body. Eyes ruptured, fluid trails down the sides of the face inconsistent with gravity."
"Nearby: one large branch stripped of smaller offshoots. Large fork at end of branch splits off once, with broken end of fork covered in blood and fur matching the color of Subject A's coat. Assess to be improvised weapon in struggle of third party."
>You turn back and look at Twilight, who has since sat on her rump.
>Her eyes are full of tears, and she's holding the scroll and quill far away from her face to keep them from getting wet.
>Pinkie Pie's...hair has gone straight somehow, but she's still keeping lookout
>Not looking anywhere in the direction of you, though.

>>29603216
>"Wh-what, um," Twilight pauses to sniff back some tears and swallow, "what are you initial conclusions, Hard Boiled?"
>You walk back to her and sit on the grass, wondering if it's ok to put a hoof on a Princess' shoulders when you hardly know her
"Difficult to say right now. There was definitely a fight here between these griffons and a party unknown. The whole flying ability of griffons and the tall grass makes it hard to tell who else was here from a cursory glance. It's possible that Anonymous came across a scuffle between these griffons and a third party and ran back to Zecora's house for safety."
>Her wilting eyes slowly drew off the scroll in front of her and tracked to you
>Well, in your general direction, at least. She was staring a thousand yards behind you.
>"Pinkie." Her voice was low and level.
>"Yeah Twilight?" Her voice sounded like someone had just kicked her favorite puppy.
>It was the right choice to keep them back here if just your observations were enough to make them this sad.
>Twilight didn't even blink when she spoke, just kept staring past you
>"Go to Zecora's house right now and see if Anonymous is there, then rush back here and tell me if you find him."
>Pinkie nodded, lifted up a nearby boulder, and then collapsed backwards into the hole underneath
>You blinked. That wasn't at all what Twilight had asked her to do.
>Nor did she look strong enough to lift it in the first place.
>Was she hiding under there?
>You turned back to look at Twilight and--OH SHIT!
>There Pinkie stood stock still, eyes like saucers, only a few hooves away from you and the Princess.
>Her straight hair covered half of one of them, and her face hardly moved at all when she spoke.
>Her voice sounded far away, almost like a ghost.

>>29603219
>This was the creepiest thing you'd ever seen, and you've seen some shit.
>"He isn't at Zecora's. He left her house last night."
>Twilight's eyes focused on you.
>She didn't even bother to look at Pinkie.
>"Get me a sample of the blood on that griffon's claw."
>You comply and back up to the little clearing, keeping your eyes on Pinkie Pie.
>Her unblinking eyes stare into your soul the entire way
>You turn around and pull the blood off of one of the claws with your magic and put it into a little ball as fast as you can
>You nearly have another heart attack when you turn back and see that Pinkie's standing on the opposite side of Twilight, completely still, but half the distance to you has been covered in complete silence.
>You try to keep your cool as you walk past her, the little glob of blood floating in the air, and her head tracks you
>Her eyes stay centered the whole time
>Come on, you're Hard Boiled! Nothing shakes you!
>...but this mare gave you the heebie-jeebies.
>You do your best not to show it
>Twilight's magic snatches the sample out of the air and it glows for a minute
>Was she really going to analyze it out here in the field?

>>29603231
>You'd have to go back and get some lab equipment to get an accurate reading
>She closes her eyes and winces in deep concentration, and the sample glows brighter for a moment
>When she opens them, her eyes are no longer sad
>They're hard-set
>And glowing
>Her breaths are getting more and more labored by the minute, and her voice echoes
>"This is Anonymous' blood. This was the scene of a forcible abduction by griffons. They're not allowed in without royal clearance. Only someone in Canterlot could have even know Anon was here. Somepony tipped them off, and somepony let them into our borders to abduct my stallion."
>For an amateur, she's pretty sharp.
>You had the same thought the moment she said who's blood it was
>Wait, HER stallion?
>This wasn't going to end well.
>"Get close, Hard Boiled. We're going to Canterlot."
>Is she...?
>No, please.
>You hate teleportation.
>You look down at the hoof she pressed into your chest
>You look up and Pinkie's somehow teleported again, still giving you that creepy look, right next to Twilight with a hoof on her shoulder.
>Twilight's horn intensifies its channeling into three layers, with strong enough pressure to snuff out your own horn
>The deep reverbs thrum through your body for a moment before existence winks away

>>29603236
>You open your eyes and find yourself in the hall of Canterlot Castle, just outside the throne room
>You feel a little dizzy from the teleport, but you manage to take stock of your surroundings pretty well
>A line of ponies stand outside waiting to go in, and all of them are looking at the three of you.
>And there stands a griffon, chatting with a Noble in line.
>Must be the ambassador.
>Oh dear.
>Twilight gives her a death glare, horn still glowing and tears falling from her eyes.
>Her voice booms through the castle and she points a hoof.
>"SEIZE HER!"
>Before any of the guards can respond, Pinkie springs into action and jumps at him, sliding the last half on the stone floor.
>She comes up off her back brushes the other pony away with one foreleg
>With the other she hooks the griffon under the barrel and lifts her up, slamming her onto the wall
>A flurry of Pinkie's other limbs pounds her against the wall, and in a blink she's stomped her claws and paws clean off!
>Celestia's shining plot, you didn't want to be the one who convinced a Princess to murder an ambassador!
>You watch for a second to see the blood start pouring out, only to realize she hasn't stomped her apart.
>She's...she's somehow planted the griffon's claws and legs into the stone wall itself, disappearing at the wrists and ankles.
>What kind of ponies are they making out there in Ponyville?
>Twilight's Royal Voice forcibly break you from your thoughts.
>"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR CONSPIRING AND ABDUCTING A CITIZEN OF EQUESTRIA, MY STALLION ANONYMOUS, FROM PONYVILLE."
>Her eyes are still glowing, and her magic grabs the griffon's head to face her while she stalks up to the impromptu stone prison.
>"NOW TELL ME WHERE HE'S BEEN TAKEN!"
>The doors of the throne room fly open and Princess Celestia herself gallops out, wings outstretched
>The griffon sputters an answer
>"I d-don't know what you're talking--"

>>29603241
>"YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU'VE TAKEN HIM, OR I'LL FLAY THE SECRETS FROM YOUR VERY MIND! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I CAN--"
>Her rant is cut short when Princess Celestia lays a hoof on her shoulder.
>Twilight looks over with an angry glare, but softens as soon as she sees her mentor.
>The palace guards follow, standing around the pair of princesses.
>"Twilight, it's ok, I'm here," Celestia coos, rubbing her hoof up and down Twilight's foreleg.
>Her student comes down from her magcial rage in an instant.
>She breaks down and hugs Celestia's leg, sobbing.
>"Princess Celestia, they've...they've stolen Anonymous from me! H-he was coltnapped!"
>Celestia wraps a hoof around her student and looks at the griffon in the wall who's scared speechless.
>Not from the Princess right now, she's staring at the pink earth pony who did this
>You can't see her face, but she's probably giving her the
>Sun Princess channels some magic and pulls out the griffon's limbs from the wall, the stone still surrounding each of them, and sets her down with a thud
>"Guards, take the Ambassador to the waiting room. No visitors."
>The griffon's wings flutter and kick as she's lowered, but she's nowhere near strong enough to fly with those boulders attached
>"P-princess, please! I have nothing--"
>"You ARE under arrest, Ambassador. Please wait patiently in that nice room until we can get this all sorted out."
>"B-but these aren't--"
>"I could have them removed if you want to spend your time in the dungeon's holding cells."
>Her feathers deflate
>"Yes, Princess."
>"I'm glad you could be reasonable. It is such a walk all the way down in the mountain's core. I'm sure this will all be cleared up soon. Flowing Tabard, please personally attend her during her stay, see that she gets everything she needs."

>>29603246
>"Hard Boiled, please come with us. We have much to discuss."
>Buck, she knows your name?
>You never asked for this.


>You awake with your wrists and ankles bound with rope.
>Around you stand the tall bars of a cage, resting on a floor that slowly rocks back and forth.
>You are Anonymous, and you are locked in a cage on a boat somewhere.
>Fuck, your head hurts.
>You're lying at the back of the cage in an uncomfortable position, must have rolled here while you were out
>At least they left your shorts on since this floor was cold.
>A sound behind you causes you to wriggle around and look at the noise
>A pissed-off looking griffon opens the door to the cage, dragging something large over her shoulder
"Wh-where am I? Where are you taking me?"
>"Well well well, sleeping beauty decided to wake up from his little nap. Sleep well, incubus?"
>She hefts the package around her, revealing a pony wrapped up like a cocoon, with a big fish tail hanging out the backside.
>"Might as well use the trip to acclimate to your new situation. You're heading with us to the Ottomare Empire across the sea, where you'll be sold to the highest bidder. Heh, considering what you did back in the forest, we imagine it's going to be a very, very high bid."
"I'm a...a slave now? You have slavery here?"

Keep going STG, keep going.

>>29603253
gonna have to wait a bit before the next part (line 563) before i can post again. system thinks it's spam, i'll try to figure out what part needs changed

>>29603266
>"Yup, better get used to it. Do as you're told and your life shouldn't be that hard, disobey and you'll find yourself on the end of a whip, or in the middle of a fighting pit. Or a brothel considering, well, you know."
>She grabs a few hooks attached to the cocoon with hooks on the end, stands on her hind legs, and hangs the pony up from one of the crossbars at the top of the cage face-down.
>"Best to get the crying, sobbing, begging, and whatever else you do over with now, can't have you making a scene at the market."
>She goes back down on all fours and walks closer to you.
>"Right, introductions. I am your mistress Pepin, but you will call me mistress. What's your name?"
[LINE 556 REDACTED]
>"...right, you won't need all that other information anymore. I'll just call you Anonymous if I feel like using your name. Rule One: do as I say when I say it and I won't have to punish you. Rule Two: no sticking your prick into anyone on board, I want you fresh as can be for the market and I would rather not have to deal with a soulless thrall on this ship. Pretty simple, right?"
>You're in a bind right now, literally, so you concede.
>You need to bide your time and figure out a way to escape. You don't think you've been branded or anything, so you'll try and make it off this ship somewhere at least a little close to land.
>Maybe when they make you do chores or something you might be able to see it in the distance.
>"Am I clear?"
>You nearly jump off the floor when you realize she's about six inches away and giving you the stink-eye
"Y-yes ma'am! I mean, mistress."

>>29603274
>She smirks and sits back
>"Since I'm a kind mistress, I'll forgive you for that little slip-up, but don't do it again. You'll need to learn quick if you don't want to end up in a mine. Now, watch this shark while it dries out, and give us a yell when it stops dripping. We'll all get to eat well with this catch. Maybe you might even get some if you're well-behaved."
"Yes mistress."
>"Good. That hole on the side there is for if you have to piss or shit, so make sure you use it, otherwise you'll be cleaning this place out yourself without a mop."
"Yes mistress."
>She turns and walks out
>You look up at the pony-shark hanging from the ceiling and watch...her dangle from the rafter
>At least you think it's a her. Eyelashes: check, small frame: eh, check, rounded snout: pointed at the tip, but not huge and square by comparison.
>She blinks open one of her huge eyes, the golden rings of her iris turning to you
>"Incubus, huh?"
>Huh, she can talk.
>At this point though you were more suprised that AJ's dog couldn't speak
>Whatever, you've got amazment-fatigue or whatever they call it
>Her voice sounds like a lower and raspier (if that was possible) version of Dash, but she sounds out of breath
>"Heh, that might be a better way to go than what they have planned for me. Deep Mother take me, but I'd be okay with that end if I had a choice."

>>29603277
>Whoa, that smile revealed a mouth full of sharp, pointed, and interlocking teeth
"Sorry, but I'm not an incubus. I don't know where they got that idea."
>"What are you?"
"My name's Anonymous, but most ponies just call me Anon. Human, male, only one on the planet as far as I know, and now a slave to these griffons. What uh, what are you? I've never seen or heard of something like you before. Are you a seapony?"
>"Of a kind. The name's Shivver, and I'm a sharkpony. These damn griffons don't know who they're messing with if they think they can catch and eat one of us. They'd better pray to whatever dirt-loving demon they worship the Deep Mother doesn't catch current of this, or they'll never leave the ocean alive."
"For catching you, or for, uh...preying on you?"
>"Eating. Eating me, you can say it. Also slaving. None of the slave ships are allowed to cross these waters."
"So they're smuggling us?"
>"Yup..."
>She paused for a moment to tongue something inside her mouth, and a second later something fell out of it.
>It looked like a tooth.
>"Here, take it. No stallion should be forced into the life of a slave. Use it to cut your ropes and escape this depths-damned ship."
>You shimmied over and grabbed it, sliding it under yourself to hide it in case someone came in while you were talking.

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>>29603281
"I was actually already planning my escape, but I kind of...don't swim that well. We're in the middle of the ocean, right? I'll drown this far from land."
>"No need to worry about that. As soon as you hit the drink, cut yourself with it and do a little blood-letting. Just shout into the water you want to see the Deep Mother and somepony will come snap you up. Just make sure you tell them what happened here, I don't want any of these flying bottom-feeders to ever see land again."
"What about you?"
>"Heh, what's that phrase land-lovers use? 'Stallions and children first'? Forget about saving me, just avenge me and my soul can rest in peace."
>There it is again. Some kind of backwards chivalry you've been noticing here and there in Equestria.
>Nothing this blatant before.
>Fuck leaving her here. You were going to get the both of you out of this.
>You weren't going to be able to live with yourself if you didn't try.
>You just nodded and started on the ropes.
>You'll figure something out.
---
and done. pastebin:
http://pastebin.com/KQrFFSVJ
let me know what you think

>>29603287
Looks good so far.

>>29603287
Good start. Hope you got more soon.

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>>29603287
Never leave.

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>>29603287
Love it!
Really liked that set up with starting the story as a griffin before going into anon's perspective. I'll try to say more helpful stuff later down the line but from a first read it looks amazing.

>>29603287
So long as you can stay out of Discord, you will go far here. Thank you for posting.

>>29603287
MORE!!!!

>>29603287
I like the mechanism for getting Anon to Equestria, and the lead in to the darker side of pone world is well done. Hard Boiled is fun, I am really looking forward to sharkpony shenanigans.
The only thing that felt off was [LINE 556 REDACTED]. I sort of get that there may be some SCP references/influences, but unless narrative is indicated to be a written document, [REDACTED] doesn't make sense. If there was a bit before during Anon's narration around the time of ambush or something that was also [REDACTED], then it would flow a bit better. Or maybe instead of [REDACTED], have the narration start to scramble, making les5 4n!) !_*## #*^#* 4^d tπ*n r*turn to normal text, that would show something weird going on without implying another metanarrative layer.

>>29603649
you literally can't post line 556 to 4chan. see >>29603266
the system marks your post as spam

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>>29603287
this is all I could imagine pinkies faces like also please write more

>>29603719
[silent promises of heroic rescue intensifies]

>>29603719
>>29603739
>Don't worry Anon, we will find and rescue you!

>>29603105
>>Your arms come up out of instinct, holding her like you're Shaggy and she's Scooby
>"Like, hey Penka," your voice cracks out
ded

>>29603287
>Your guards shift nervously, not enjoying being in the same room as a pissed off sun goddess.
>Princess Celestia's eyes blaze like the mote of light she drags across the sky every morning, and her sister's presence looms like the darkest shadow in an unfamiliar room.
>"Empress Flight Feathers, we have found certifiable evidence that your diplomat - the one that we trusted to help maintain good relations between Equestria and Griffonstone - is directly connected to the unlawful kidnapping and possible murder of an Equestrian citizen."
>One look into the Princess's eyes makes you uncomfortably aware that she has thousands of years of experience with war - and most importantly - victory.
>Equestria as a civilization has lasted for as long as it has because of the two borderline-deities who stand before you today.
>This is your throne room, and this is your realm, but you don't feel in charge.
>Princess Luna speaks next, and her voice tickles the same fears you experience in the first brief moments of awareness after you awake from a nightmare.
>"Give us one good reason why we should not declare war on your nation."

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>Anon immediately accepts the fact that he's a slave.
Subs were a mistake.

>>29603246
>>You can't see her face, but she's probably giving her the
giving her the what
GIVING HER THE WHAT

>>29603287
Damn, this story got dark fast.

I am interested.

>>29604023
Sounds like to me he immediately accepted it because he was already formulating a plan to escape.

The last thing you want when trying to escape is make a scene and be seen as a problem slave, that gets you more guards.

>>29603309
>>29603335
>>29603509
>>29603565
>>29603628
thanks guys, i appreciate it
>>29603582
i'd rather not have people on an interspecies lovemaking forum know what i'm doing on my computer all the time.
>>29603649
yeah, i had to take that line out because it kept tripping up the spam filter. it's not meant as a narrative thing. you can read that line on pastebin, and i'll avoid putting a line like that in my story in the future.
>>29603971
yeah, i probably won't go that route. too much time spent on /pol/ and i don't want to tempt myself to turn this into a warfic.

>>29604067
oops. thanks for catching that, i'll fix it in the pastebin.


it might be a while before i continue, but when the mood strikes i can usually crunch out a few hundred lines or so. good to see that people didn't find the crime scene to be too edgy or something.

>>29604105
>good to see that people didn't find the crime scene to be too edgy or something.
Man that nigga fucked those grifs up. Just how many did it take to bring him down?

>>29604126
I don't think they were trying to kill him, just capture him

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I would white-knight the shit out of a mare who was just screwed over by a divorce with a spiteful, catty stallion.

>>29603124
>Meat Potion
Ah, good old meat copouts. Protein and B12, who needs em! Vodoo juju solves all problems.

>>29604307
Someone really needs to give Zecorea a deep heartfelt thank you.

>>29604286
>used goods
>damaged used goods

>>29604286
t. cuck

>>29604307
>Potion is pure Zebra milk.
>It turned her on to no end watching Anon drink it down.
>She wanted to Stripe him so bad.

>>29604315
I'm surprised that nobody has suggested the obvious option of fucking her until she can't rhyme no more.

>>29603287
Also, is Twilight going to be a crazy obsessive bitch in this story? I honestly hope that Anon simply says thanks as I kind of want a story where he doesn't end up with mauvebrains.

>>29604550
We like that Zebra, why not give her a good dicking after the thank you dinner?

Catching up on RGRE has been a trip.
Bug pones. Harry Potter crossover.
The meta stuff last thread kind of dazed me.

Somebody said chess has been solved which really triggered me. There's a big difference between "writing a computer program that consistently wins" and solving a game.

>>29600477
>>29600626
>someone remembers your old green
>Someone reposts some of it
Glad you liked it senpai. I do actually still write bits and pieces here rarely but haven't written enough in sequence to justify using the name.

>>29604644
Nice.
Don't forget to put all the pieces into the box once you are done.

>>29603246
>disregarding diplomatic immunity
And then, every nation withdraws their ambassadors in protest. Equestria is hit with severe sanctions, crippling their economy. The fringes of the nation begin to rebel, and it's all Twilight's fault.

>>29604699
Nigga, that wouldn't happen in the real world.

>>29604699
incline Equestria isn't like the world's major military and economics supergiant

>>29604699
unless arresting and detaining their ambassador is the first step towards war. you really think equestria needs to import anything besides luxury items?

>>29604699
It depends on what level she was as a diplomat. Considering the story starts out with her saying 'best griffon ambassador to ponies,' she likely has diplomatic immunity, unless Griffoncountry decided to revoke that protection from her. If that comment was just her ego, and she's a lower ranking official, it's unclear.
t. scrub who used google and read maybe two articles, so this probably means very little

>>29604699
And then the changelings convince every other nation to join them to bring down the tyranny of ponies, and then Tirek returns, and then Sombra returns, and then a giant meteor comes down and hits Canterlot, and then hunting ponies is made legal, and then minotaurs expand their borders, and then the sun explodes and consumes the planet, and it's all Twilight's fault.

>>29604699
Sure, ALL other nations are going to withdraw from what amounts to a global power because Equestria had evidence to arrest an ambassador who kidnapped the 'significant other' of one of the Equestrian leaders.
Surely would happen.

>>29600600
That— makes a lot of sense actually

>>29604993
Anon doesn't say anything about loving purplesmart so by all accounts Twilight is being a creepy possessive lunatic in this scene. 'My stallion', he's been here 3 weeks!

>>29603649
>>29604105
This is pretty interesting. I tried a few variations.
Can't be Anonymous Opisa Faggot.

It must be either the SSN or the ending of that line.

" my digits"

>>29605070
Huh. The check mark character I used isn't showing up now for some reason.
⍻

Let's also try:
xxx-xx-xxxx

>>29605066
The other nations don't know that, and I don't think that Celestia or Luna would correct Twilight if Anon being Twilight's special somepony gave them a political advantage and a better chance to bring him home alive.

>>29604635
>game theorist detected

>>29594858
Nah. We're bumping them all to show the world what try hard autists you faggots are.

>>29605131
Wow man, such edge!
Does your Boyfriend start bleeding in bed due to all that edge?

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>Applejack is embarrassed by her large, stallionlike frame
>Mares make fun of her behind her back all the time
>She just wishes she could be smaller, so she could be the little spoon and protect her stallion for once

>>29605511
ew gross

>>29603287
I'm unsure what these guys were thinking kidnapping the ONLY human in the entire world that is friends with the pony princesses, but I'm sure they'll get exactly what's coming.

>>29605131
>Said a 4chan poster on the /mlp/ board

>>29605513
What's gross?

>>29603969
dammit, after reading the hilarity that is Beans story over in the dad thread, I want to see Shaggy in Equestria.

He'd totally be the Stallion in Distress during any and all adventuring for all the brave macho mares.

Considering how much he eats, it would totally be Pinkie that goes for him and has the best shot. (well her and maybe stoner horse)

For bonus points, Scooby comes along with him and hooks up with a nice diamond dog lady.

>>29603287
>Griffon lookout points out a single massive fin splitting the surface of the water
>Jaws theme plays in the background
>Suddenly a horde of smaller fins join it, circling the ship.