RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>filly

Repostan since I like the prompt of Anon being the father figure to both the Princesses, and it would be a nice change of pace for Anon to have a relationship to them, but not a romantic one.

>>29618936
>Anon gets courted by one of the maids
>He doesn't care that she's not royalty or anything
>Feather Duster is a kind, caring, and cute mare.
>Celly gets jelly of the attention but can't bring herself to keep her daddy from finding love
>He never had anyone as a special somepony back then
>Luna just doesn't want to have to call one of the waitstaff "Mom"

>>29619100
Praise lord Smooze, we got the fucking thread right.

>Anon abused by mother as child
>Teleported to RGRE
>Has an overbearing mare as a roommate
>He's scared to no end
Green if this prompt when?

>>29619120
>Anon starts courting Twilight
>Celestia is confused and horrified; The filly she always thought of as a daughter is now technically her mom

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>>29619119
Those fucking hips, god DAMN.

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>>29619143
That's right. You see this, this is mine.

>>29619132
Hot. Twilight swaps between being terrified of her new position and incredibly smug.

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>>29619147
we all get one, anon.

>>29619129
Get on this ya faggots!

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>>29619143
A man of fine tastes I can see.

>>29619100
>pastebin links are all http
>not https

Well, that's a massive security flaw. Time to remake the thread.

^:)

>>29619132
>Anon starts dating Bombshell.
>Celestia and Luna disapprove.
>Celestia thinks Anon deserves someone better than some dumb, socially retarded klutz.
>Luna is the Element of Sperg, and sees Bombshell as a goddamn amateur.
>something something RGRE

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>>29619118
>What colt would ever be interested in herding with a useless filly like me?

>>29619210
That face ruins everything

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>>29619147
>>29619197
>>29619249
Aren't you forgetting something?

>>29619247
Probably nopony, since there are so few stallions. Why the fuck would they settle for a colty demure blind girl?

Anon would smash the fuck out of her, though. Fuck her so good her eyesight comes back.

>>29619306
I mean, if you masturbate too much, you obviously go blind. So if your hot monkey sex is good enough it should logically give the gift of sight.

>>29619276
The modern man doesn't mind if his wife looks for other partners if he can't satisfy her himself

>>29619312
>And here we see the mating dance of the indigenous earth pony filly. Despite the extravagance of her dance, the colt is not impressed, and she will go home lonely.

>>29619335
>The modern man...
They are no man, they are cucks
That is no wife, its the death of the west

>>29619334
maybe he did it for inaccuracy, considering fluttershy is more on the skinny sideunless she got preggers

>>29619334
Probably because it's already been posted in this thread, dingus.
>>29619335
>bait this flagrant
0/10, see me after class. Only responding in order to explain that bait cannot be too obvious, or there will be no legitimately angry reactions to feed on. Sure, someone might give you a pity bite, but it won't be sincere.

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>>29619306
I would a Snowdrop. I would a Snowdrop so hard.

>>29619410
I would put my penis inside that underage horse.

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>>29619335

>>29619336
It's funny because she actually tried to dance with a colt and completely fucked up

>>29619336
"Applebloom lemme smash"
>"No Anon, go find Sweetie."

>>29619410
I would a Snowdrop so hard, till she goes blind.
Oh, no, wait...

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First time writing after a long time lurking, I'd like some feedback, though please be gentle, I failed year 6 English.

>You sit alone in the clearing, your campfire burning brightly
>You sit close to the fire, letting the warmth soak in, and it feels good to have the safety a fire provides for the night
>Your compatriots have already retired, griffons normally needed some extra sleep after a long flight like that
>You hear birds flapping through the trees above you, and you stretch your wings instinctively
>These long flights had you sore, real sore
>Long flights, painful flights, but definitely worth it
>You look over to your employer’s packages, the packages you and your group were smuggling over the Equestrian border
>Definitely not a big business a few years ago, but with that new princess in charge of of the Northern rail line through the Crystal Empire, ocean smuggling had become big business
>Drugs and weapons out of Griffinstone, Drugs and Weapons into Manehattan, Filly Delphia and Baltimare
>Good money for hard work
>That's the flight you’d just finished, across the Celestial Sea, and right into the forests South of Philly Delphia
>Lost in though you barely notice the sun cresting the horizon, blinding you and waking your comrades
>The biggest of them Gabriella, also the head of this crew, saunters over to you
>”Sup Scout, anything happen last night?”
Na Gabby, I coulda slept as well if you’d let me. Not everywhere is as dangerous as Griffinstone
>”You never know, if the Shinnies come swooping down that could be it for us, and worse for a pretty colt like you.”

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>>29619706
>You both ponder for a second, you’re on Equestrian soil, laws are pretty strict here
>And the ‘shinnies’, or the guards, were more than willing to enforce their leaders laws
>Gabby speaks first, “Hey Scout, go wake the others up, I want us in Manehattan by this afternoon”
>Fuck, looks like it's another long day
>It only takes a few moments for you to gather everyone around the now obsolete fire
>”Ok here's the plan, we’ll fly to the edge of Manehattan, then Scout will head in, deliver the goods and we’ll fly back here. Shines have been increasing their patrols lately, or so I’m told so make sure you’re looking out”
>Being the only pony, you were the only one who could properly blend in
>Definitely the only reason the griffins let you into their society
>A cooperating pony, a colt at that was a rare thing
>Gabby ruffles her bright white wings, and picks up her saddlebags
>You, and the rest of your crew follows suite, packing away sleeping equipment and eating a hasty breakfast
>”Hey Scouty boy!”, oh shit its Gladys, “that looks a bit heavy on you, maybe you could use some help”
>Some bitches just don’t understand that no means no
>You just ignore her and keep working, Gabby would be pissed if you held the trip up
>”It's fine you know, I don’t even expect a pretty stallion like you to pay me back right now, we could arrange something-”

>>29619709
You know what that sounds great! Here's my share, I’m sure a big strong bird like yourself won’t have any trouble!
>She’s taken by surprise
>”Oh yeah, of course, just leave it to me!”
“Great, I’ll see you around”, you say as you begin walking back to the center of camp
>She can carry it if she wants too, you just want her off your back
>Plus it’ll be funny to see when she realises your package is heavier than hers


>Your flight path takes you back over the ocean, the guard rarely do patrols out here due to the inherent dangers
>Typhoons, Lightning Storms, Fatigue. All threats that have lead to the deaths of far more qualified soldiers
>This flight is just as dangerous for you though, you’ve known many smugglers who underestimated the flight
>But hey, the danger is what made the pay so good
>You move up the line, and take the lead from Gabby
>She gives an odd look at your rather empty saddlebags, and you nod towards the back of the line, where you both observe a struggling Gladys
>She gives you a stern look
>You catch the drift, it's already dangerous enough up here without one of your crew being overloaded
>Luckily you’re around the stopping point for today

>>29619712
>Your group dives swiftly out of the cloud cover and streak towards the ground at speeds that would have made normal pegasi, and many griffins queasy
>You were all used to it though, even though there may not be many ponies around in the countryside, it only took one witness for this expedition to end poorly
>You flair your wings, pulling away from the closing ground, and shooting straight into the tree line
>The others follow suit, although slower
>Griffins tended to be slower than pegasi, although their enormous endurance typically balanced the two
>Just another reason griffins were perfectly suited for the smuggling trade
>The other griffins collapse, especially Gladys, a forced flight like this would have them tired
>As your observing the now not-so-motley crew Gabby sneaks up behind you
>”Ready to get suited up my prince?”
Yeah, haha, cute name, are you sure we couldn’t use a different mark this time, Gabby?
>Even though you were a pony there was one thing that made you stick out, a lack of a cutie mark
>You hadn’t grown up with pony traditions, you’d grown up with griffins, and the pursuit of a special talent was not high on a griffin's agenda
>”It's your own fault, you decided to buy these ones”
Yeah, cause I thought being the melle fatale would be fun, and then I realised how sex-starved these city-slickers are
>She giggles, “still your fault Scout, now come on we’re burning time”

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>>29619717
>Its takes a while to get you kitted out, lip-gloss, some new contacts, an orange stripe through your mane to spruce up your drab brown coat, and a print of a pair of lips with a knife through them
>You had to be special didn’t you, a simple mark wouldn’t do… Ugh, regrets
>You load up your saddlebags, the fancy ones with lots of glitter, not your travel ones, and prepared for your departure
>As you prepare to leave you realise Gabby is dressing up as well
>Some dark spots in her pure white coat, like freckles, and some contacts to highlight her brilliant blue eyes
Coming into town?
>”Yeah, Iron Vault has a job, top priority apparently and just for us, and they thought I should be there”
Iron Vault huh, what would the biggest mafia boss in Manehattan want with us?
>”No idea, that's why I didn’t tell the others. Generally when guy like him wants to see you it's to clip your wings, and we don’t need them panicking”
>You nod, makes sense
Well then, shall we be off
>”I’m ready whenever you are”
>You walk side by side out of the tree line and onto a dirt path
>Its worn from other smugglers, but it's not well known and it’ll get you into the city
You know we are gonna look like the strangest couple
>”A couple now are we?”
Only as long as you keep the locals off me
>”That I can do”

And that's all I got so far, hopefully its up to a good enough standard...

>>29619719
Griffons aren't exactly my taste, but keep going.

If you're expecting a lot of feedback and (You)'s, this time of night isn't the greatest. We get pretty slow around here sometimes.

>>29619719

The male counterpart to "femme fatale" would be "homme fatale", not "melle fatale", and the plural of shiny would be "shinies" - you're using one too many n's.

>>29618993 #
God fucking dam you.
Please forgive me if this is bad I'm half asleep.
>Be Luna.
>You were exploring the dream scape when one catches your eye.
>The hooman Anonymous is having a dream of a memory.
>You always did want to see some of the past leading up to the special innocent being known as Anonymous.
>The colt is always so sweet and respectful, even when he first arrived he was so respectful and quiet.
>Sadly enough most colts don’t know when to shut the buck up, but the one colt that you actually are interested in is quiet and shy.
>Not as shy as the element of kindness mind you, but the kind of cute shy.
>You enter his dream and look around.
>Instead of the green beautiful meadows with a blue sky and animals frolicking, you are met with something much worse.
>A destroyed world.
>Ash and swords litter the ground.
>You look behind you and see what can only be described as chaos worse than Discord himself.
>You must find Anon!
>You hear a loud crash up a set of stairs with a foggy grey wall.
>You rush up the stairs
>Reaching the fog wall you touch it with a hoof and feel as though you are dragged through.
>After getting through the fog you see something that nearly makes your heart stop.
>In a field of ash, weapons, and beautiful flowers that just don’t belong, you see Anon.
>He is clad in golden armor a greatsword with a eerie dark blue glow to it in hand and what looks like his helmet *A golden lion head* thrown off to the side.
>He is completely focused on a large being with a torn body and armor, it’s body looks as if it was set a blaze!
>The beings weapon is literally on fire as he swings it back and forth at Anon.
>To your surprise Anon tuck and rolls out of the way of each attack with expert timing before getting in his own swings!
>You can’t believe what you’re seeing as Anon. The innocent creature as pure as the driven snow, sweet and kind, takes on the this…

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>>29619833
>This… demon, with expertise that could rival that of your or even your sister’s best royal guard!
>He shows no fear as he moves out of the way of each attack before attacking the beast!
>With a heavy swing he stuns the beast knocking it to a knee before raising his sword to head level with both hands.
>He then does a somersault and slams his sword down on the beast’s neck killing it.
>He stands before it breathing heavily.
>He then looks over and to you for a bit and giving you a grin you’ve seen him give many times before.
>You sling your head up panting as you awaken from the dreamscape.
>Your mind is filled with Anonymous.
>The way he fought.
>The way he looked determined as can be with each swing of his sword.
>How he pretty much danced between his opponents swings.
>But you don’t feel fear.
>You feels some kind of attraction.
>You felt the need to tame this wild beast.
>To make him your yours.
>You feel something wet.
>Looking under the covers you realize you will have to give the maids extra pay.

>>29619792
Huh, the more you know

>>29619841
I wish we had more of this.

Laps! where are you?

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>>29619996
Here you go.

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>>29620000

Why did taste leave us? I liked his docanon story, it was going really good.

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>>29620000

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>>29603156
>>29603158
That's a rather harsh change of pace innit? Without a warning we go from cute/lewd/innocent pones and lewd but harmless catbirds into muh fight for life with 2 dead catbutts. Came out of nowhere.

I did enjoy the delusional Purplesperg.
>"We're in the same building, so we're basically married!"
>goes about attacking random griffons

What I did not enjoy though was her being taken seriously. I know Celestia has a habit of giving no shits, but to have a diplomatic guest assaulted, accused of varying crimes and literally planted into the wall in the broad daylight, all by her personal student who is rambling something about "her stallion", I think that calls for a bit of consideration first.

Oh, and in >>29603274
> I am your mistress Pepin, but you will call me mistress.
"No."
What is it you're trying to write here exactly? A BDSM fic, or a """serious""" story with Anon being abducted into actual slavery? Because it jumps between the two constantly.
>Ponies are silly
>Anon kills 2 griffons
>Twilight freaks out and Pink is weird
>Anon is being sold away as a sex/fighter slave
>is asked to call his captor """mistress"""
I just don't follow that.

>>29620105
mistress is literally just the female form of master which slaves where used to call their owners

>>29620000
That look like RGRE to me. I mean, the woman is annoying me while I was at work.

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>>29620127
This. Good job at helping people understand a story in a calm and rational manner. Now. Get in the bed with the nice unicorn for your reward.

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>>29620179
ehhhh no.

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>>29620127
I suppose you're right. While I'm more used to slaves addressing their masters per "sir" like when they are being shown who is the king of this gym I find it much easier for a succubus to address her overlord per "master."

Makes me this much more disappointed that the story seems to not be heading towards "Anon roleplays a captured incubus and makes ponies/catbutts hot and bothered with his "demonic" acts" route, and this weird edgy/silly thing instead.

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>>29619841
>There are no gaming consoles in Equestria, but Luna games with Anon through his dreams
>She can recreate them accurately from his subconscious memories
>It's like playing VR versions of his favourite games
>She does it all so he won't feel homesick

>>29620352
To me, the green seems to be moving in an action/adventure sort of direction.

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>>29620105
>That's a rather harsh change of pace innit

Same. I thought they were just going to get captured and spill the beans about where Anon was taken at first.

>I think that calls for a bit of consideration first.
She probably trusts Twiggy's judgment more after the Chrysalis fiasco.

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>>29620373
>"Man those ponies are so cute and innocent, I cannot suspect the weird creepy mare in a trenchcoat shadowing me for a few days of anything bad"
>Proceeds to brutally kill and borderline eviscerate two griffons that arrived to capture him with no buildup whatsoever

Oh it's adventure alright. Adventure of mood shift sudden enough to de-orbit a small planet.

>>29620403
I'm not arguing that there wasn't a major mood shift, but what has been posted is essentially chapter 1 of a story. Introduces the main characters and the main conflict. It's like saying star wars had an unacceptable mood shift from laser battle on a ship to slice of life on a random farming simulator planet.

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>>29620437
At least this Anon gets it.

For the rest of you, lets give the story a damn chance and see how it plays out. Was the transition way to fast and a tad shitty Y E S! ! ! Does this make the story bad? No. I have good feelings about that write friend and hopefully he we deliver more green.

>>29619719
Yes, yes, more catbirb.

I want to see that colt earn his cutie mark too.

>>29619719
I'm not really interested but I'll give it a chance.

You might wanna outright say if a human will appear of not, there were some faggots that wouldn't stop RRREEEE'ing about the lack of Anon in a story so you can tear that band-aid off quick then it might save some time.

>>29619709
You should use 'shinies', not shinnies. Shineys or shinies would be pronounced shine-e, shinnie would be said as shin-nee.

>>29619717
The term is homme fatale.

>>29619100
Why are ponies so sexy in armor?

>>29620821
Stallions love mares in armour because it appeals to their instinctive desire to be protected by a big, strong mare.

>>29620830
I want to be protected by a horde of small mares. It is my LITTLE pony, after all.

>>29620105
Here's the weird thing about the dead griffons:
They were clearly and obviously dead when they were found, but it seemed to me like the other kidnappers were implying they were alive when they left.
>>"So who's coming back for Antonia and Trudy?" a womanly voice asks over the sound of the wind
>>"No one! Those high and mighty cunts got what was coming to them!" another answers
Would they normally send someone back to pick up dead bodies?
I don't know, maybe. But even after this stuff, the fact that they were dead afterward seemed like a surprise that didn't really follow from the information I was given.

>>29620863
>A bunch of zealous widdle squishy mares in armour rushing to your defense with tiny swords in their mouths
>Sometimes their helmets are a size too big and it slips over their eyes (often when they're smiling proudly at you, wagging their tails and waiting for their thank-you belly rubs)

>>29619396
By god. You just gave me a great idea for a firvver add.
Ima charge 10 bucks for 30 min of shitposting lessons.

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>>29619367
Oh god what are you doing to me

>>29619129
Someone get on this!

>>29620366
Best Princess.

>>29620105
thanks for the feedback.

the hard change of pace was intentional. i didn't want to foreshadow something that big at the very beginning of the story, since i would have to make major changes to the entire world for anon to expect it at all. "welcome to equestria, anon, watch out for those darn slavers!" hopefully in the next update i can shed some light on why twilight's behavior was allowed.

>delusional bookhoers
she summoned him to equestria. i haven't gone into much detail about how he got there, but she considers him her responsibility, if not her stallion by right.

>celestia taking her seriously
>her student
she's a full-fledged princess, she cant' be treated like a student for all eternity. if there's one thing I can't stand in fiction, its people trusting strangers before their friends, or giving the benefit of the doubt to acquaintances instead of their friends.

>mistress
yeah, I thought it was weird at first. I actually had to look that one up. >>29620127 is right about it though, and master just seems too far out of place for RGREquestira.

>anon kills 2 griffons
i actually wrote out the entire fight scene at first, but i cut it in favor of having hard boiled come across it and investigate it instead.

>>29620352
>anon roleplays a captured incubus
I don't like catbirbs like that.

I had originally planned on having most, if not all, of the story focusing on Anon and his adventure, but I found that I really like Hard Boiled, so expect to see a lot more of her in the future. I also want to avoid a lot of the anime tropes of adversaries explaining everything to their opponents in long-winded reveals.

>>29620946

Dead chicks tell no tales.

Sense one was cut open & I don't think anon had a knife in Ponyland, I'm gonna guess one of them killed the others that couldn't get out to cover their tracks. No honor among thieves it looks like.

>>29621240
Got more patience then me that is for sure.

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>>29619841
>she asks for a real life presentation of his skills
>his face when

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“Stupid car… Stupid job...”
>Anon liked to think he was a simple man.
>He had no desire to take the world by storm, he didn’t want to discover or create. Enlightened thoughts were few and far between and the thought to rid the world of its injustices never crossed his mind.
>All Anon wanted to do in the short time that he had on this earth was to have enough money to enjoy life and work at his little cubicle without anyone bothering him. More often than not, his desires were granted, but every once in awhile it seemed like the whole world wished to conspire against him.
“Why did I even get the Hapsborrow account? That was supposed to be Peterson’s!”
>It had been a long week for the young man. He had gotten little sleep and the stress of his work was leaving him frazzled and short-tempered, and he knew that he would only suffer more when he returned to his desk.
>But, for the first time that week, Anon felt a sense of relief. For five days, he had weathered his work, and now it was the weekend. Instead of crunching numbers and listening to the higher-ups scream at him for things that he couldn’t control, he had three nights and two days of relaxation. He could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, and at that moment nothing sounded sweeter to him than sitting on his couch and watching TV into the early hours of the morning.
>Parking his car in his garage, Anon trekked through his backyard, his chestnut penny loafers becoming stained with mud as he dragged his feet along the ground. Though exhaustion was clear as day on his features, the moment he saw the back of his house he perked up.
>Standing just a hair straighter he made his way to his back porch with a purpose. Unlocking the door, he threw it open while kicking his shoes across the kitchen. As he closed the door behind him he pulled off his tie and unbuttoned the top of his dress shirt.
“What a day,” he grumbled, running his fingers through his hair. “What a [i]week[/i]…”

>>29621440
>Setting his briefcase on the kitchen table, he made his way deeper into his home. He passed his dining room, his smoking lounge—a room which all real businessmen must have by law—and his living room, where the promised land, and his couch, awaited. Though he wanted nothing more than to order a pizza and watch Spanish soap operas until his eyes bled, he first needed to get his mail. So, with that thought in mind, he made his way to his front door and opened it.
The second that he did he cringed. “Jesus… what the hell [i]is[/i] that?”
>As soon as he had opened the door, the very distinct smell of burnt hair wafted through. If one was also sharp-nosed enough, they would have also been able to detect the smell of cranberries and alcohol. It wasn’t a very palatable combination by any means, and in fact Anon found himself closing his door to get away from the stink.
>For several seconds his mind raced. Where was that smell coming from? Did someone set something on fire on his lawn? When he walked out there was he going to see a burnt coat, or, heaven forbid, a dead, burning animal?
>Anon was almost tempted to lock his front door and make his way into his living room. He had no desire to deal with anymore headaches today, and if he didn’t see anything, that meant that there was no problem to worry about. While, for a few moments, this seemed liked one of the best ideas that he had had this week, his more rational side eventually won out.
>A low groan escaped him as, in a bout of frustration, he pressed his forehead against his door. “I swear to god if it’s those Jefferson kids again I’m calling the cops…”
>Bracing himself, both for the smell and the unknowable horrors that awaited, he threw opened his door and stepped outside.

>>29621440
NOICE

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>>29621447
>Quickly looking around it seemed like everything was as he had left it that morning. The lawn was neatly trimmed and looked healthy. The birdbath sitting near his white fence looked whole and undamaged. Even the rose bushes that lined his house looked pristine. There was no dead animals, nothing was on fire, and his neighbor’s monster children hadn’t gotten into anything that they shouldn’t.
>Anon’s shoulders sagged in relief. He was about to sigh when he heard the sound of an empty plastic container hitting his front porch. Whipping his head around, he saw his little brother Incognito sitting on his rocking chair.
>Though Incognito wasn’t known for his cleanliness, today it looked like he had just come from a battlefield. His clothes were blackened and ruffled. His hair was stuck up all on one side and his face was covered in dirt and grime. Parts of him also seemed to be smoldering, as if he had been on fire not that long ago
>There was also something in his eyes as he sat there, calmly sipping from his forty-ounce yeti mug; a tired, beaten, but not yet defeated glint in his eyes that Anon had rarely seen.
>Unsurprisingly, Anon gawked at his brother, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to form the words that would properly convey his shock and confusion.
“Incognito?!” he said, his eyes drifting next to his brother, where what was left of his broom sat.
>The broom, which had cost him fifty dollars, sat against his house, cracked, blacked, smoking, and without the head. Instantly, any concern that he had for his brother was replaced with anger.
“What are you doing here? What did you do to my broom?!” he demanded, marching over to his brother’s side.
>Incognito, still staring straight ahead of him, barely acknowledged his big brother as he took another sip from his mug. “Well hello to you too, Alexander Grump Bell.”
“What happened to you, Incognito?” Anon demanded, ignoring his brother’s comment.

>>29621460
“What happened to your clothes? For Christ’s sake, why is your hair on [i]fire[/i]?!”
>The ice in Incognito’s mug clanked together as he swirled his drink. He licked his lips, leaning forward in his rocking chair.
>“There was an invasion,” he said after a pause.
“An invasion?”
>“Yes. I was trying to break into your house to use your TV when—”
“What did I tell you about doing that?” Anon growled.
>Incognito dismissed his brother with a flick of his wrist. “Don’t be a crybaby. There’s literally no law against breaking into someone’s house to watch TV.”
“Yes there is! It’s called breaking and entering!”
>“Easy there, Mr. Lawyer man. I couldn’t find your key anywhere so I didn’t do any breaking and entering.”
“You still tried!” Anon said with a sIncognitop of his foot. “And that’s still illegal! You’re lucky you’re my brother, otherwise—”
>Finally, Incognito tore his gaze away from whatever he was looking at to stare at him.
>“Are you going to keep bitching at me or are you going to listen to what happened?” he asked, his nose scrunched up in irritation.
“Please,” Anon said angrily. “Tell me what the hell you got yourself into this time.”
>“I will. Thank you,” Incognito said with a nod, before continuing his tale. “So I was trying to break into your house so I could watch your TV when there was a flash of light. Fearing for my safety, I jumped over your railing—”
“No you didn’t! It looks like you split the thing in half!”
>“—Luckily for me I was quick enough to prevent injury to my person—”
“Aw man, those pillars were oak! Do you know how much they cost?! How did you even manage to break them? Those pillars are three inches thick!”
>“—When the light subsided, I poked my head overtop the railing to see what had caused the light. I had, at first, thought it was some prank or trick of the light, but when I looked I saw that it was none of those things.”

File: 1235996__safe_artist-colon-cheshiresdesires_lyra+heartstrings_oc_oc-colon-anon_boop_cute_duo_eyes+closed_gradient+background_holding_holding+a+pony_hum.png (269KB, 1200x1200px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29621469
>Incognito’s grip on his mug tightened as he took another sip.
>“The creature was unlike any that I had ever seen. It was monstrous; with massive, soulless eyes and a horn of bone upon its head. I have no idea what it was, but it seemed like a mixture between a hellish dog and some warped, vile horse.”
Anon’s eyes narrowed down to slits as his brother swirled his drink. “…So you’re saying that some kind of alien teleported itself onto my front porch?”
>“Yep,” Incognito said without hesitation. “It appeared and began making demands.”
>This wasn’t the first time that Anon’s brother had popped up at his house and started spouting nonsense. It also wasn’t the first time that he thought long and hard whether or not to call the cops on him. But, while he would have liked nothing more than to get his brother away from the house, he knew that if he called the police he wouldn’t hear the end of it from his mother.
“Demands?” Anon said in resignation, hoping that this doubt of madness would be a quick one so that he could start enjoying his weekend.
>“A single demand actually,” Incognito replied. “When I poked my head over the railing—”
“The railing that [i]you’re[/i] paying for.”
>“—the creature looked at me for nearly a minute before it smiled, said hello, and asked me if I could walk over and boop it.”
>A sigh escaped Anon’s throat. He had a feeling that this was going to be a bad one.
“It wanted you to boop it?”
>“Yes, it wanted me to touch the tip of its nose with one of my fingers,” Incognito said with a nod, “the monster.”
“And did you?”
>“Like I’d just go and boop some random alien willy-nilly,” Incognito said, scoffing. “No, when it asked me to boop it, I did the only thing that I could do.”

>>29621474
Anon’s gaze wandered toward what remained of his broom. “…Did you do that stupid thing you swore you’d do if you ever saw an alien?”
>“There’s nothing stupid about wanting to defend your planet, Anon.”
“It gets real stupid real fast when you scream ‘Welcome to Earth’ and start chasing something that you think’s an alien around with whatever’s near you.”
>Anon groaned, covering his face with a hand.
“Oh god no… you actually did it didn’t you?” he asked, pinching the bridge of your nose. “You went and attacked some poor dog with my broom and the dog somehow managed to beat you up.”
>“You underestimate my opponent, brother,” Incognito said. “It was no dog, or any being that this world has seen. It was something else. Something… other.”
“No. No it wasn’t. You’re just so drunk that you can’t tell the difference between an alien and some random mutt.”
>”No, I’m not.”
>Pulling his hand away from his face, Anon looked down at the dozens of mason jars and empty plastic bottles of cranberry juice. He then looked at his brother, who took another sip of his drink.
“If you’re not drunk then where’s the alien?” he asked as calmly as he could, sweeping a hand across his lawn.
>“”So when the alien asked me to boop it I saw that you had a shovel sitting up against the side of the house.”
“My shovel? What that hell did you—”
>“So I grabbed the thing and jumped over and fence and tried to smack it over the head before it could prob me, but when I got close it disappeared in a flash of light. Because of that I missed my swing and ended up smashing the little table that you had sitting out here.”
“What one that the neighbor’s girl was nice enough to make me?! Why—”
>“I saw that it popped into the middle of your yard, so I decided to chase it around. I tried to smack it a couple more times but it kept zipping around until it made the shovel disappear in my hands.”

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>>29621479
“My shovel? Wha—”
>“So I decided to grab the broom in your front porch and gave it’s behind a slap on the behind.
>Incognito’s face contorted in discomfort.
>“Unfortunately, when I did that it fired something out of the tip of its horn. I have no idea what it was, but it blew your broom to bits and almost took my head off.
>He leaned back into the rocking chair with a tired sigh.
>“Still though, I hit it hard enough to send it scurrying over the fence. I would have gone after it but I decided to rest up a bit before that.”
“By sitting on my porch drinking booze?” Anon dryly asked.
>Incognito shrugged. “Drinking enormous amounts worked for many great men throughout the ages. Who am I to go against their example?”
Rolling his eyes, Anon slipped an arm around his brother. “Come on, let's get you inside.”
>Incognito resisted his brother, grabbing the arms of the rocking chair. “No. I still got an alien to beat the tar out of.”
“Let me get you up and inside. You can sleep in the guest room until you’re okay enough to walk home.”
>“I will stay, and there’s nothing that the three of you can do about it.”
“…I’m the only one here, Incognito.”
>“Liar. I can clearly see you and two of your doppelgangers. It’s clear to me now that you’re some sort of witch. When I do get up I’ll get a whole bunch of guys so that we can carry you to the town square and burn you three at the stake.”
>Anon was about to rip his brother out of the rocking chair and carry him inside—making sure that he hit his head once or twice of course—when something caught his eye. Something was poking its head over his three-foot high fence so that it could stare at him and his brother. Something with unnaturally large lavender eyes.
Anon froze, his eyes growing to the size of dinner plates. “…What the hell is that?”

>>29621484
>Incognito followed his brother’s gaze, frowning when he saw those purple eyes. “Ah, looks like the alien’s still stalking me.”
>Releasing his brother, Anon stepped backward until his back was pressed up against the front of his house. Even though it wasn’t tall enough for its head to be completely visible, he could clearly see what it was. A unicorn. There was a Labrador-sized unicorn with a little horn on its head standing on the other side of his fence.
“That’s a unicorn,” he said, holding onto the frame of his front door to keep from falling over. “There’s a real-life unicorn standing right over there…”
>The winged unicorn’s ear perked up, as if it had heard him. Its head disappeared from view, though he could see its body through the gaps of his fence. A very quiet, feminine grunt could be heard before it leapt into the air. Anon was able to catch a glimpse of its purple, horseish body, its multi-colored mane and tail, its face, and the two little wings on its back before it disappeared from sight once more.
“…Holy shit,” he murmured, sliding down the front of his house until he was in a sitting position.
>His brother hadn’t been spouting nonsense. There was a unicorn standing thirty feet away from him. It didn’t quite look like a unicorn, sure. He had never heard of a unicorn being purple and he was pretty sure they weren’t supposed to be that small, but it looked enough like one to deserve the name.
>“I know. Horrible isn’t it?” Incognito asked, taking a sip of his drink. “Look at those big eyes and those little wings. That thing looks like it came out of some little girl’s nightmare.”
“Why didn’t you call someone, Incognito?” Anon asked, his mind trying to process what he had seen. “That’s a [i]unicorn[/i]! I mean, why didn’t— you could— how did—?”

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>>29621490
>He covered his mouth with a hand as he realized that his brother had not only made first contact with an alien form but he had [i]attacked it[/i]. A jolt of panic ran up his spine at the thought. If this alien, this unicorn, could teleport to his front porch then more of its kind probably had the same ability. That meant if things went south, and they offended their race in any way, the aliens could invade without any trouble. And since his stupid brother had gone and attacked what was probably an ambassador, invasion was a very real concern.
>He needed to go over there and talk to the unicorn. He needed to fix whatever damage Incognito had caused. Not for his own personal glory, not because if he did this he might be able to retire from all of the movie and book deals that he’d be able to get after this, but for earth and every living being on it.
>With that thought in mind, Anon rose to his feet. Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, he straightened up his tie and buttoned his shirt.
“I’m going over there and talking to it,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.
>“Good idea,” Incognito replied, standing up with a grunt. “You talk to it while I jump the fence and sneak around so I can hit its flank. If we attack at the same time we should be able to—”
>Incognito grunted as his brother shoved him back into the rocking chair.
“[i]No[/i]. I’m going to go over there and talk to it and you’re going to [i]stay right there[/i]”
>his older brother a dirty look, Incognito reached for what was left of the broom. “I’m mere artillery then? I don’t like it, but as long as I get some of the glory I won’t complain too—”
“You’re not going to throw anything either,” Anon snapped, cutting him off. “You’re just going to sit there quietly while I try to keep the earth from being invaded!”
>“Don’t negotiate with aliens, Anon,” Incognito said, deadly serious. “You’ll end up getting probed. Or worse.”

porkbelly

>>29621503
>Wrenching the broom out of his brother’s hands, Anon tossed to the other side of his porch. He then kicked away all of the mason jars and plastic bottles so that his idiot brother wouldn’t get any ideas.
“I swear to god, if you get up and try anything I’m going to let them take you for experiments or probing or whatever,” he said.
>Incognito said nothing, just staring at him as he took another sip from his mug.
>With that finished, Anon turned back and looked over at the unicorn. From here he could see it eyeing him with interest, something that made his sIncognitoach tighten. Even so, after taking a few more breaths, he made his way toward it, trying to look as collected and dignified as possible.
>He walked over to the gate in his fence and opened it, making sure that his shirt and pants were in presentable condition as he stepped through the gate and closed it behind him. Standing a few feet from the gate was the unicorn, a big smile on its face as it looked at him.
>“Hello!” it said in a distinctly feminine voice.
>Anon couldn’t help but jump. For an instant he had the overwhelming desire to jump his fence and run back into his home as quickly as he could, but he quickly reigned in such thoughts.
>He needed to be strong for the earth and every man, woman, and child on it.
“H-Hello,” he said, meeting the unicorn’s smile with a smile of his own, albeit a far more nervous one.
>The unicorn’s smile widened.
>“It’s very nice to meet you! My name is Twilight Sparkle,” she—Anon was positive that it was a she—said, offering one of her hooves.
“I’m A-Anon,” he replied, taking it with a trembling hand and giving it a shake. “It’s very nice to meet you too.”

>>29621503
>"I swear to god. I swear to god, Incognito, if you fuck this up for me I'm going to boop YOUR nose with a shovel; as hard as I can and as many times as it takes for my arms to get tired."

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>>29621518
>Twilight Sparkle giggled, her rump wiggling like a happy dog as he pulled his hand away.
>Despite himself, Anon’s smile became more genuine at the sight. He didn’t know what his crazy brother was talking about. This was no terrible alien from beyond the stars. Twilight Sparkle didn’t seem monstrous or unnerving. She looked cute and fuzzy, with her bright lavender eyes and her adorable little ears and hooves.
>His hand twitched as the urge to pet the unicorn came to mind but he immediately purged the thought from his mind.
“Hey, um, I’m sorry that my brother… attacked you,” he said, rubbing the back of his head.
>To his surprise, Twilight giggled once again.
>“There’s no need to apologize. I knew that some of you might be frightened of us ponies at first. I’m sure that teleporting right next to him didn’t help matters any.”
Relief swept through Anon. “So, you’re not mad about it?”
>“Nope,” Twilight replied. “In fact, if he would have let me near him I would have apologized for scaring him like I did right away.”
“Well… in any case, welcome to earth. I hope you come in peace.”
>“I do. I’ve been sent here to speak with your leader so that there may be talks between our peoples.”
>The smile on Twilight’s face became just a tad bashful.
>“I… well, I also came to see if some stallion would be nice enough to boop me,” she said, looking down at the ground and kicking at the sidewalk with a hoof.
“You want a man—er, a stallion to boop you?” Anon asked.
>“Yes, I’d like that very much.”
>Anon’s brow furrowed. Privately, he couldn’t help but wonder why this unicorn, alien, whatever she was, would come all of the way here just to get booped. Couldn’t she just have someone boop her back on her own planet?
>Still though, he saw an opportunity that he couldn’t pass up.
“Hey, if you want I’d be more than happy to, um, boop you if you want,” he offered.

>>29621520
>Twilight’s head snapped up to look at him, her eyes wide. “Really?! You’d boop me?”
Anon took a step back at the outburst. “Well, I mean, if it’ll help foster our peoples’ relationship…”
>With a happy hum, Twilight immediately closed her eyes and offered him her snout.
>Frowning, Anon looked down at her for a few moments, suddenly feeling unsure. He looked over at his brother, who was watching the scene intently, before looking back at the unicorn. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he lifted a hand, extended a finger, and booped the little pony right in the middle of her muzzle.
>Twilight’s eyes snapped open. Gasping, she looked at the finger touching her nose before her gaze snapped up to his face. In an instant, a look of joy unlike any that Anon had ever seen broke out across her face.
>“Thank you, Anon! I promise that I’ll be the best wife I can!”
>The world—for Anon at least—seemed to freeze. Birds that were flying crawled to a stop. A leaf that floated in the breeze hung in the air.
“W-What?” Anon asked, but it was already too late.
>Filled to the brim with joy, the tip of Twilight Sparkle’s horn suddenly sparked to life. Before Anon could ask what she was doing, he found himself floating in the air by some unknown force.
“H-Hey! What’s the big deal?!” he cried, his legs kicking at the air. “Put me down!”
>“Oh, I can’t wait to show you to my mom and dad! They’re going to be so happy that I finally found somepony!” Twilight said, turning around and making her way down the street with him floating behind her. “We’re going to have to tell our friends and family! I have my grandfather’s horn ring but I don’t know if that’s going to fit you.”
“Put me down!”
>“But that shouldn’t be a problem. There’s plenty of ponies in Canterlot that can adjust the ring. And while we’re getting that done we can go and visit a few wedding planners! That way we’ll be able to meet both of…

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>>29621526
Thrashing with all of his might, Anon looked over at his brother. “Incognito! Help me!”
>Incognito watched his big brother being carried off by the little purple pony with the same expression as a general that had sent a man on a suicide mission.
>“I told you not to go over there,” he said, taking a sip from his mug as he sat there on the rocking chair. “Now look at ya: getting married to some horse alien.”
>“Hiya!”
>Incognito jumped, his head snapping over to see a pink pony with the curliest hair that he had ever seen standing next to him.
>“Sweet Jiminy Cricket, there’s more of them,” he said with a frown.
>The pink pony took a step toward him, her blue eyes dancing with excitement. “It’s nice to meet you, mister! My name’s Pinkie Pie!”
>Incognito looked her up and down, suspicion etched on his face. “Liar. You might look pink but no part of you looks like its made out of pie.”
>The pony’s nose scrunched up. “Aw, don’t be so grumpy mister.”
>“I can’t help it. I was born this way.”
>Giggling, the pony took another step toward him, nosing his shoulder. “You know what would make you stop being such a grump, mister? Booping the cutest, pinkest party pony that ever was!”
>Incognito’s eyes narrowed down to slits. “No. I just saw what happened to my brother, and I’m too young to get hitched”
>Reaching into her mane, the pink pony pulled out a tray of fudge. How she had been able to store such a thing in her mane—without getting any hair in it no less—was a mystery.
>“If you boop me I’ll give you all of this yummy fudge,” she offered, waving the tray under his nose. “It’s chocolate and caramel. I made it just this morning.”
>Incognito looked down at the fudge, then at the pony smiling at him, then at his still flailing, protesting brother. With an emotionless expression, he took a sip from his mug and grabbed a cube of fudge.

>>29621535
>“Well, I tried, but the aliens’ might was too great,” he said, popping the cube into his mouth. “All shall fall. Chaos will reign.”
>“Can we have parties with the chaos?” the pink pony asked, offering her muzzle.
>“Yes,” Incognito replied, booping said muzzle. “Yes we can.”

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>>29621543
Just a weird little story that we were discussing on discord. I have this things getting ready for fim but I thought you folks would want to see it too.

Remember, don't boop the poner

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>>29621553
Fuck you I'll boop the poner

>>29621479
>“It gets real stupid real fast when you scream ‘Welcome to Earth’ and start chasing something that you think’s an alien around with whatever’s near you.”
my sides

>>29621518
>something that made his sIncognitoach tighten
>sIncognitoach
wat

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>>29621553
I'm gonna boop the head honcho, the sunniest princess, the cakest flanks.

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>>29621571
Ponies make the most adorable cats.

>>29621680
I, too, love cat sized ponies

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>>29621680
>>29621750
Yes. I want one.

>>29619132
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjd__U9RhkI

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>>29621553
>Booping is marriage agreement
kek

>>29621571
>"No! Trixie is too young to get married! Trixie is afraid of commitment!"

>>29621789
>Cat-pegasi make nests out of socks they steal from the hamper and built them on unmade beds

>>29621905
>Unicorns are a bit more refined
>They just nab boxes and shred paper in them with their magic
>The paper shredding serves no purpose; it's just fun to them

>>29621914
>Earth Ponies get restless if they don't go outside and play for a bit
>Despite being as small as a cat and behaving similarly to one, they tend to act more like a dog when they get excited
>They're easily the biggest nappers of the 3 races, and seem to have a sixth sense for knowing when there's a lap available for them to sleep in

>>29621469
>with a sIncognitop of his foot
wat?

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>>29621553
this was amazing
any chance for moar?

>>29621503
>his older brother a
you okay LaP, there are more errors than you usually make today, did you drink something funny?

>>29621543
Ponies take over the world with boops and fudge...we are doomed.

>>29619335
these cuckholds are more to be pitied than laughed at.

>>29622589
Anon? Anon, that was bait. Don't respond to bait.

>>29621553
Can you at least confirm that Dazzling Pack isn't going to be continued? Not knowing is the worst part.

>>29619460
Fucking nice image. Source?

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>colts in the military
topkeke

Humans are not for sexual

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>>29622875

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>>29622875

File: 1327889__safe_artist-colon-racoonsan_applejack_fluttershy_pinkie+pie_rainbow+dash_rarity_twilight+sparkle_clothes_eyes+closed_grin_group+hug_hat_horned.jpg (647KB, 800x828px) Image search: [Google]

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What if you had every waifu?

>>29622922
i dont have a waifu at all so it would be a rather sudden and massive change to my daily life

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>>29622946
Alright. You must choose a minimum of two waifus to have. There's no max limit.

>>29622922
I am too dead and poor inside to consider it, a usual response is saying I must be off my meds, because a hallucination shouldn't talk. Nicely to me, at any rate.

>>29622922
Then I'd probably be pretty happy.

>>29622989
>Alright. You must choose a minimum of two waifus to have.
you already posted them

>>29622922
But Anon! More than one waifu will ruin your laifu!

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>>29622922
>>29623061

>>29622989
Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis. I have a thing for the sexy evil voice.

Pure-hearted loving Anon with villain herd, reforming them through belly rubs and earscritching. They want to rule the world, but their horsebando would never approve.

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>>29623061
>>29623080
Waifus can't ruin your laifu if you don't have one to begin with.

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>>29620366
>>29619841
>>29619833
Vidya dreams are cool.
>You are Elyssar'sirath ruler of the 8th circle.
>And you can't believe this shit.
>Some mother bucker thought it would be a good Idea to bring HIM to your reality.
>Though you loathe to admit it, you are... thankful to the Diarchs for bringing this to your attention.
>After much posturing and bargaining you have agreed to some things. Most importantly keeping HIM the buck away from Tartarus.
>Oh Lords below why did you agree to this, wait is she smirking? I swear by the blood temples, Luna will pay for this.
>You are Anon.
>Luna brought a friend named Elly.
>Look at this cute widdle pone. Trying to be all scary, with her horns and wings and shit.
>She's a shy one isn't she? Oh why is she shaking? Is she scared?
>Ah shit! she teleported away.
>"Sorry I scared your friend away Luna."
>"Tis' alright Anonymous, It's been many moons since Elyssar'sirath has seen or felt the touch of a colt."
>"Well if you say so, Luna."
>"Say Anonymous, Can you continue the tale of the Biggest Boss and his belligerent Sons."

In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, his soul blistered by the fires of Hell and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual torment. In his ravenous hatred he found no peace; and with boiling blood he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the dark lords who had wronged him. He wore the crown of the Night Sentinels, and those that tasted the bite of his sword named him... the Doom Slayer.

>>29623171
>Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis slowly gaining a conscience
>It sounds suspiciously like their husbando
>Every time they try to subjugate the masses, they can practically see Anon looking at them, sad and disappointed.
>The resistance groups are confused when both ruthless leaders end most potentially lethal confrontations with a huffy "Oh, just get out of here; before I change my mind."
>They've yet to connect Anon's presence with the villain's improved behaviour, and merely pity the poor colt and hope that they aren't mistreating him too badly
>Any and all rescue attempts inevitably end with Anon sabotaging his own escape and being "recaptured" by his mares

>>29622896
Humans to ponies are as adorable as ponies are to us. Many mares are reluctant to have sexual relations with anon because to them it would be like fucking a foal

>>29623427
>Ponies want to cuddle with Anon just as badly as he wants to cuddle with them

>>29619841
Holy fuck thank you, I love it! Also just because...
https://youtu.be/Z9dNrmGD7mU

>>29623427
What characteristics does Anon display that are similar to those of foals? At least Anon can claim that ponies display neoteny.

>>29623171
This reminds me of an old green where Anon had a secret herd of villain mares; and he used their skill as villains in making a D&D ripoff as a business while dodging the advances of Celly and Luna.

>>29619719
I strongly recommend using "quotation" marks for the narrator's speech, even if it is already distinguished by not being > green.

>>29623754
Tiny eyes, for one.

>Anon is a huge metalhead
>Poners overhear him singing (insert generic power metal song here)
>Are amazed; Clearly, this colt is a great warrior from a tribe of amazons
>Next time a villain threatens Equestria, they give him control of a battalion of hardened guardsmares
>Hilarity ensues

>>29623841
Tiny eyes, cute little nose... I think they might be initially off-put by Anon's canines, but no more than a dog or housecat.

>>29621240
> cut fight scene in favour of having detective OC explain

Have you heard of "show, don't tell"? Because that crime scene bit was way over on the "tell" side. I felt like I didn't learn a damn thing except that they were dead. I think that part needed to be much shorter but the introduction to him being on the boat needed to be much longer.

Anon also seemed to be a very passive character in the story so far. He has done nothing but react to stuff around him.

>>29622922
Has anyone even thought of the sheer chaos that having the entire M6 under one roof and in a relationship would be like? Like, holy shit.

>RGREqG
>Anon from regular Earth is sent to EqG because idk Twilight saw humans and thought "close enough"
>The biased gender ratio is still there, only now Anon is surrounded by hormone-saturated girls dealing with newfound desires and sexual frustration, and who can't go more than 8 seconds without thinking about cock
>Now having aggressive human instincts and general >muh human superiority, the high school girls work to snatch unsuspecting young men away when they least expect it instead of doing what their horse-selves do, which is to group up and try to tempt/lure single stallions away
>In Equestria, Anon only had to deal with a mare getting a little bit too pushy and trying to make him cuddle with her.
>In EqG-land, Anon has to watch is back and every turn lest he be taken away and "claimed" by a small group of girls
>They're subtle and merciless
>Take for example a three-girl group:
>Anon might turn the corner and have girl A (who had been waiting for him) blindsight him with a shoulder-shove as she walks by, spinning him around and disorienting him
>Girl B (who had been following behind him before he turned the corner) might turn the exact same corner immediately after and brush up against him to make him drop his books, thus distracting him
>Confused, startled, and focusing on getting his books off of the floor, Anon won't be prepared when girl C snakes an arm around his elbow and yanks him into an empty classroom just a few feet away.
>Girls A and B are soon to follow after making sure that nobody saw them
>The entire capture took less than 10 seconds

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>>29623922
> the entire M6 under one roof
>and in a relationship
>sheer chaos
Bro, do you even Elements of Harmony?
The mane six would be the most organized, efficient and coordinated herd in all of Equestria were they to join forces to form one.

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>>29623951
>>29623959
>The mane six join forces to become the greatest gang of rapists of all of Equestria (High).

>>29623951
This is how you get school shootings.

>>29623978
>Elements of Harmony strike team
>Can extract any boy or small group of boys in record time due to their unparalleled and flawless ability to work together as a team
>One minute Anon is grabbing his shit from his locker, and the next he's got a faceful of breasts and is being tactfully and unobtrusively moved into an unused classroom

>>29623993
Remember anon you have to put up a token amount of resistance or you'll gain a reputation of a slut

>>29623993
The real question here is whose breasts are used? Pinkie's probably got some pretty big tits, but Rarity or Fluttershy might host the best face-smotherers.

>>29623951
>Another shitty 'Anon gets raped by teenage girls' prompt
Please. LaP already wrote the ultimate RGREqG story. Anything anyone else writes is redundant nonsense.
http://www.theonion.com/article/humanity-still-producing-new-art-though-megadeths--50983

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>>29624012

>>29624007
>Implying Anon wouldn't purposefully put himself into position to be targeted

>>29623951
>The world of RGREqG is a lot more liberal than ours
>It's all just a game really, everyone in the school participates
>Even the teachers sometimes get in on the fun

>>29623951
>Just pick a few powerful girls you like and stick with them.
>Whine to them if anyone fucks with you.
>Grab some popcorn and enjoy the resulting fistfight.

OR

>Violently turn the tables on your attackers.
>AKA a ragetastic turbomurder machine poping a boner that no one would expect a man to be in RGREqG.
>When those girls pulled you into that empty room, they failed to realize something.
>You're not trapped in there with them, THEY are the ones trapped in there with you.

>>29624045
>Anon is the only guy that isn't a prudish faggot
>despite warnings from others, he deliberately walks around out of the way hallways alone
>he gets insane amounts of ass daily because he is intelligent enough to know the best places to get some
>the girls that nab him trade him favors and gift him shit non-stop to apologize for it, in desperate attempts to keep him from talking about being raped
>he never tells them that he's cool with it because the free shit is dope

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>>29623951
>>29624061
>Pick a few girls you like.
>Love on them relentlessly to make the rest jealous as payback for being rapey little shits.

>>29624061
tfw have a herd with Gilda, Sunset, and the Sirens for the most op herd in the school.

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>>29623993
>>29624007
>He thinks pastel-colored little teenager shits can compete against the power of Earth cock.

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>>29624011

>>29623700
Can't believe I forgot that song, Could have used it...

>>29624107
This, hupone girls have same stamina as horse girls, without the marshmallow fluff butts to take the pounding. Their breeding hips are still good though.

>>29624112
>"Is that Anon standing all alone without anybody to protect him?"
>>"Sunset, come quickly! We need your breasts!"

>>29624012
Link?

>>29624128
GOD DAMNIT PINKIE, STOP TELEPORTING OUT OF MY TITS!

>>29624139
>Pinkie just pops out of Sunset's cleavage

>>29624151
>BUT SUNSEEET, THERE SO BIG A COMFY, WHY CANT I SLEEP ON THEM ALL THE TIME?!

>>29624173
AN*

>>29624128
>>29624059
>Anon tries to go to Principal Celestia for help
>She's in on it too
>"Oh are those naughty girls harassing you again, Anon? Why don't you step into my office so we can talk all about it.
>She turns around and locks the door

>>29624233
As a Sunfag, I approve.

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>>29624233
>>29624246
would impregnate

>>29624319
>"That's a nice sword"
>actually, it's a penis
>"oh"

>>29624233
>"Oh, Anon! You must be so distressed! I can't stand to see a boy cry - come here and give me a hug."
>Celestia grabs the back of your head and mashes your face into her cleavage.
>She's not wearing a bra.
>Celestia's hand slips under your shirt.
>"It's going to be okay, sweetheart."

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>>29624335
That sounds comfy.

>>29619523

"Hey filly. You want some wigglers"
>wiggle
>"Ugh. No Anon. Your wigglers are creepy."
"wot"

>>29624335
>>29624368
>Principal Celestia genuinely cares about the welfare of her students
>Also can hardly stand being surrounded by so much cock
>Compromises by getting a little bit too handsy with some of her male students

>>29624445
I'd help her get it out of her system.

I love this thread

>>29621606
LOL. LaP did a slightly incorrect find and replace for Tom.

>>29624490
I love the mountains
I love the clear blue skies

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>>29624555
That's actually pretty funny.

>>29624585
Editor's Note: For when he puts it on FIMfic (I'm assuming, due to the italics), the names are Tom and Jerry.

>>29624575
I love big bridges
I love when great whites fly

>>29623922
I tried to write a bit of it once. The most fun part was writing the scene where they decided to become a herd.
In practice it seemed a bit too chaotic for anything other than a short.

>>29624129
Here's the start: http://pastebin.com/8d6dqhEH

I liked it plenty, probably one of the best RGREqG, but probably not the ultimate.

>>29624128
> Be Anon, thoroughly lost
> You're still kinda new to this school, and you have classes all over the place
> It doesn't help that when you ask a girl for directions, she and her friends drag you into the nearest restroom and/or empty classroom, and have their way with you
> And for every guy in school, there is about three girls
> So you get fucked a lot
> It's starting to get ol-
> Haha, no, can't keep a straight face
> This is the best time of your life
> Especially when the girls accidentally dragged you into Principal Celestia's office
> But the point remains that your sense of direction in the building is shot
> You hear a long-suffering sigh behind you, while hands firmly turn you around and give you a push
> Smoooosh
> Forget it, you are never getting to geometry on time
> Hold on
"I know these tits. Perky, yet soft, and just the right size to hold in my hands. Sunset, how are you doing today?"
> She pulls you along, with the help of the elements of sexuality
> "I'm doing alright, recorded a few new songs with the girls. We almost have enough for an album now."
> Your pants have disappeared, and you can feel your boxers being tugged away
> The classroom door closes with a click
"That's great! Say, once you and the girls have had your fun, want to skip out on school and watch a movie at my place? I'll be making caramel corn."
> Sunset practically purrs at the suggestion
> "Homemade caramel corn? And you wonder why you get raped so much. You got it, Anon, it's a date."
> Rarity makes a little "awww" noise as she sucks greedily at your cock

>>29622130
>>29624555

>>29624628
I enjoy his FiMfic name choices. Another one had Cain and Abel.

>>29624679
>And you wonder why you get raped so much
It's not rape if you enjoy it.

>>29624630
>RGRE version of Boomdiada when
>inb4 never

>>29624734
No, you don't understand. Anon is /mildly inconvenienced/ by being temporarily abducted for sex. In fact, one time he missed a Bill Nye video because the theater club was taking turns riding him. He was suuuuuper raped that day, he wanted to see that video. (It was on erosion.)

>>29624767
>Bill Nye
Man, I have never been more disappointed to learn about what someone was really like.

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>>29624679
>> "Homemade caramel corn? And you wonder why you get raped so much.

>>29624781
I liked Bill Nye before he started thinking that his political opinions mattered. Get back in front of the fucking camera and dance for me like you're paid to do, you shit.

>>29624670
...but that is "RGRE Horse-Twilight and RGRE Horse-Sunset in not-RGRE-EqG and also regular human Anon", not "Anon gets raped by teenage girls". It doesn't even take place in the same universe. Fuck me, it isn't even RGREqG world, it's regular EqG world.

>>29624798
I would not be surprised if I saw this exact quote in a hentai.

>>29624805
>>29624781
I liked /pol/ before it started thinking that its political opinions mattered.

>>29624679
>Bill Nye video because the theater club was taking turns riding him. He was suuuuuper raped that day, he wanted to see that video.
Take those whores to court.

>>29624920
I definitely prefer /pol/'s insanity to Tumblr's or Reddit's.

>>29624940
Why choose one when you could have none and be a perfectly understanding and logical person?

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>>29624920
Welcome to "Talking About Politics", where the facts are made up and the opinions don't matter!

>>29624814
It's equestria's RGR exported to EqG world, and therefore still counts as RGRE.

>>29624961
Why choose one set of gender roles when you could have none and have a perfectly equal, completely boring universe to write words about flesh robots?

>>29625009
I agree, it's definitely RGRE. I was just saying that it doesn't count as RGREqG because it doesn't take place in an EqG world that has reversed gender roles. Wait, would that actually count and I'm just wrong? Is an RGRE character being in a non-RGRE setting still count as RGRE?

>>29624940
>Tumblr
Fucking masculists ruin evrything

>>29624961
Because /pol/ is highly entertaining.

>>29625047
>Anon in RGREqG
>Accesses EqG-internet
>Is thrilled and relieved that there are no more feminists
>Finds tumblr
>Is disgusted to find that they've been replaced by ugly, obese men who complain about "the matriarchy" and "female privilege"

>Anon is monogamous
>Waifu is everything he ever wanted, and he doesn't need other ponies in the mix
>Mare is expected to share her stallion with at least small heard and stallion is expected to agree at that
>When Anon states that he doesn't want herd, waifu after initiall shock is quite happy, she has him just for herself
>Other ponies arent that happy though
>It's against all Equestrian ideas that led to society funcioning happily with screwed gender ratios
>Waifu's friends expect to be invited to herd in short time
>Some of ponies accept them, some try to act as they don't care even if they don't like it
>And more traditionall of them try to take matter into their own hooves
She has stallion all for hesrelf?
And it's apparently his own decision?
But he is only colt how could he know?

>>29625079
is dat sum engrish

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>>29625094
yeah my english sucks, it's why I write only prompts

>>29623887
>Have you heard of "show, don't tell"?
i don't really think so. the focus on that scene wasn't so much that anon killed them, but how and why. i can post the fight scene if you really want, but i'm not that great at narrating them.

>I didn't learn a damn thing except that they were dead
great detective work. i was hoping hard boiled's reaction and observations would shed some light on her character and let the reader imagine how anon managed to kill two griffons unarmed in the forest, but i guess i should have spaced out her narration into a few more lines.

>him being on the boat needed to be much longer
got tired of typing for a bit, just wanted to post what i had. i promise the next update will have more of anon on the boat, but i just wanted to establish where he was and what kind of situation he found himself in.

>passive character
yeah, you're right. reading back through it again i realize that he has been pretty passive, but looking back at my own life experiences I tend to be the same way until i get my bearings, like when i went to basic, or SERE, or college. anon's totally not a self-insert i swear i'll try and focus on giving anon more agency in the next updates.

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>>29625043
>does RGRE elements in a story count as it being an RGRE story in an RGRE general?
the answer lies before you; you have only to grasp it.

>>29625140
>If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, is it RGRE enough?

>>29625160
And the apprentice was enlightened.

>>29625140
He's not questioning whether or not it's RGRE, he's questioning whether it's RGREqG.
A pedantic distinction, but one behind which I could get.

Honestly, we get a LOT of "Anon is raped in RGREqG" prompts, but not that many actual greens.

Also, I realized the original Anon was probably talking about Dazzling Pack anyways: http://pastebin.com/kB5j6gDq

>Dad Anon to Celly and Luna was gone so long because he was stuck in Tartarus
>*Somebody* has to RIP AND TEAR around here, and Poners just can't do it properly.
>He had to put the fear of pain back into the demonic denizens after they got the bright idea to try invading the surface after Discord got turned into a lawn ornament.
>Discord thought they were no fun at all, no sense of humor, and had in his own wacky ways kept them in Tartarus
>But with Ol' Dissy out of action, Anon had to go to work.
>He never seemed to have problems with Tirek, being as he wasn't actually a demon, Anon didn't have to try bitchslapping him, and the old centaur seemed to be grateful that there was some entertainment to go with his incarceration.
>Anon still wasn't sure where Tirek kept getting that popcorn.

>>29623959
>>29623922
>>29624650
I remember one someone did where Anon is trying desperately to get some pears for once, because a man can only eat apples every day for so long. Then AJ tries to throw them out and he starts eating it right in front of her.

Fluttershy was also repeatedly referred to as "The Good One" because she didn't cause a fuss at the dinner table unlike the rest of them

>>29625247
>Time passes differently in Tartarus
>All that time RIP AND TEAR'ing through the hosts of demons only took a couple years to him
>However, being exposed to and coming in contact with all that demon blood changed Anon
>He's now immortal, so long as he stays within range of Tartarus
>Well, that range increases with exposure, so just about anywhere on the planet
>He's also corrupted a little
>Unfortunately for the powers of evil, humans are born as selfish bastards but learn to control themselves
>Now he just steals cookies and cupcakes from ponies when they aren't looking from time to time
>His greatest evil? He once stole forty cakes.
>Celestia still holds it against him.

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what do you call a herd of nothing but unicorns?

>>29625316
Horny

>>29625325
In more ways than one

>>29625121
>why can't my audience read my mind
>I know how the fight went and the character reacted to the aftermath
>so why don't they all immediately understand exactly what happened???

Look man, as a writer, I need to tell you something. This is very important advice that I wish I had gotten much earlier than I did: Just because you think something is clear or makes sense, doesn't mean anyone else will. Everyone thinks differently, and literally nobody else is privy to your train of thought. Something that would logically mean one thing to you often means something entirely different to others. This needs to be taken into account, and is why the "Show don't tell" rule exists. You can explain something all you want, but you have to realize that your perspective is irrelevant. There's a reason that objective descriptions are so popular among the greatest authors, and it's not because they're scrubs.

>>29623754
Tiny eyes relative to head
Tiny head relative to body

Long limbs relative to body would be more of a gangly teenager thing

...or an alicorn-like feature. which would make him a 'baby' relative to Celly and Luna, even if he was full grown, just by age comparison.

Kinda like how Spike is continually referred to as a baby dragon, despite being obviously mentally basically a teenager or a least a tween.

When you're part of an immortal species, anyone who doesn't have *at least* a century under their belt is essentially a baby.

>Celly *had* been treating Twiggles more and more as an adult as time went on after taking down Nightmare Moon and Discord.
>But when she got her wings, suddenly Celly started treating her like a foal again
>It takes a while for bookhorse to figure out why.

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>>29625316
So... what do you call a herd of alicorns?

>>29625351
A pantheon.

>>29625351
Mine

>>29625354
this.

>>29623328
Anon is the Princess Peach of Mashmallow Pony Land.

>>29625351
Blatant wish fulfillment.

>>29625410
FFS, how did I manage to misspell "marshmallow"?

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>>29625354
noice
NOICE

>>29625351
Endangered

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>>29625347
>Tiny eyes relative to head
>Tiny head relative to body

Flurry Heart begs to differ...

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>>29625351
This guy draws them SO fucking soft and pet-able, it's killing me.

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>>29619833
>>29619841
>>29624122
>>29621432

Mmmmmm this anon here>>29623256 hehe Luna would be fucking terrified of Anon if he dreamed about...
https://youtu.be/pNkQMtZAMAw

alright this is the last time I'll bring up video stuff but god damn it's been on my mind for a while I just had to say something bleh

>>29623864
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0rAnyWUnwE
>Anon gets a huge kick out of it when he hears The Royal Guard signing it too.
>Not so much when a crisis rolls around and he comes face to face with Captain Shining Armor.
>Who wears a manic grin and tells him they're not going to be stuck sitting in the castle this time around
>This time Anon gets to go with them and actually do something
>They even had some armor and weapons made just for Anon

>>29625427
Flurry Heart is an anomaly, check out other babies earlier in the show and they have tiny beady eyes.

you got me on the head relative to body though

>>29625453
New Doom's soundtrack is auditory aids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSsfjHCFosw

>>29625247
I've always loved this characterization of Tirek. He's basically an addict, jonesing for his next fix of the magic power, who will say and do anything to get it. And once he's on that high, there's nothing to do but betray, and yell, and destroy.

But when he's not riding high, when he's got no choice but to just sit around and wait for an opportunity, he's a clever and sarcastic old monkey man centaur thing.

>>29621680
>square muzzle
No anon, it's a trap!

>>29625460
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEGWbO91Lls
>Honestly, you wouldn't be so frightened if they'd at least given you some platemail
>But noo, that stuff's too heavy for a colt, just take these chainmail hot pants and this weird leather chest thingy
>Even Conan wore armor when he could get it!
>At least you have a sword now, not that you have any idea how to use it
>And so, here you are, standing atop a hill, ahead of a column of several hundred mares
>Across the valley, you see an army of manticores, timberwolves, and all manner of wild creatures, under the command of a really poorly designed mare
>Like seriously, if your armor is too little, she has the opposite problem
>How can she even move under all that weight? And what's up with all those spikes?
>Well, whatever, it's not like you'll likely get the chance to ask her about it, what with all those clawed, fanged, and otherwise deadly beasts under her command
>Your second in command, a battle-hardened veteran of a mare, covered in scars and obviously a more qualified leader, looks up at you
>"Well, Captain Anon? What are your orders? Do we wait for them to attack?"
>You gulp
>This is it; Here's hoping all those hours spent playing Mount and Blade will pay off

>>29624679
I like how this is just a casual thing.

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>>29624920
To be fair the U.N decided their opinions mattered.
https://arxiv.org/pdf/1610.03452v1.pdf

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>>29625478
>He thinks I don't know.

>>29625331
Or he should just take LaP's route and not talk about or reply to posts about his story, just post and vanish.

>>29625497
Homo thread is that way
>>29572414

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>>29625503
RGRE has homos too.
Primarily you.

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>>29621893
I want to see the story about Trixie being a trixie (RGRE version of Chad) and being converted into a nice pony by Anon's TLC and HMD.
>a showmare travelling across Equestria
>wooing all the stallions with her tricks and sweet talk
>self absorbed and overconfident, like a shitty popstar
>other mares and less wooable fuck you that's a word now stallions hate her - either because she gets all the D, or because she is a cunt
>enter Anon, resistant to all her bullshitty charm
>even when they get a bit closer, all he wants is a stable and loving relationship
>The Great and Powerful Trixie is confused

>>29625511
Looks like I struck a nerve
How does this make you feel?

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>>29625521
Soft, yet tight, and very very warm.
Like a stallions' warm coltpussy.

>>29625524
>Damage control
not surprised to be honest family

>>29625116
Yeah welcome to the club pal.

>>29625539
>>Damage control
If you want to go play gay chicken at HHH, I assure you I am not going to lose.

>>29625547
>damage control intensifies
Nobody is questioning your love of cocks.
That crown is all yours

>>29625554
What do you even mean by damage control then? Unless you don't mean what you're saying at all.

>>29625494
To be fair, they've uncovered multiple terrorist bases and gotten them bombed to shit.

>>29625502
Or he could take legitimate criticisms and advice to heart and become a better writer for it. Stagnation is death.

>>29625515
The female counterpart to a Chad is a Stacy. How do you people not know this? It's on /r9k/ constantly, and has been the go-to term for normie girls for years.

>>29625515
I keep having this idea about Trixie's family being Nobility once upon a time, with Trixie being related to Luna at least as much as Blueblood is related to Celestia (Which might not be much, but is apparently enough to mean something in the aristocracy).

But because Luna fell from grace, Trixie's family, the Lulamoon's, lost all social status with the other nobles because of their connection to her. Now the family, what's left of it, is almost totally broke, and that's part of why Trixie is living in wagon.

But now Luna is back.

>>29625564
>How do you people not know this? It's on /r9k/ constantly
There's your answer.

>>29625561
Damage control by ignoring when asked if a nerve was struck and respond by shitposting.

Kinda like how you got upset right now.

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>>29625515
>used goods
I bet you want her to fuck and have the children of other guys while using you for financial support and locking you in chastity you cuckold. Does the thought of your waifu slobbering another stallions horsecock (which is way bigger than yours) get you randy, you pustulent dreg of degeneracy?

>>29625569
Fucking normie.

>>29625564
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chad_(slang)
>The female counterpart to the Chad, in slang, is the "Trixie"

>>29625574
More confused than upset really. Why would I actually get a nerve struck because someone linked me to the gay horse thread if I just posted two pictures of the same trap horse consecutively?

That's like suggesting a lesbian would be insulted at being linked to Tumblr after saying how much she likes pussy.

Cynical responses like that one are just 101 procedure in my Mongolian Tapestry Forums.

So much fucking nonsense, go back to posting about Ponies you fucks.

>>29625596
>even more damage control
That's for proving my point

>>29625599
*thanks* wew

>>29625595
This slang is outdated and was never popular outside of a small area. Chad and Stacy is a far more astute and modern example of slang, not to mention more endemic to the 'culture' of the chans.

>>29625596
Look, I like traps too. This isn't the thread for them, though.
We're not making a suggestion about something you might like, it's telling you to take your fetish there. You have to go back.

>>29625598
Pitch some ideas, nerd

>pony meets anon
>anon don't know how he got there
>anon meets pony princess
>pony princess says anon can stay
>anon moves in with pony
>sexual tension
>anon and pony fug
>pony princess finds a way to return anon
>anon stays
>pony is happy
>anon is happy
>lived happily ever after

>>29625491
>You are tired, injured, and covered in the gore of several dozen monsters
>Your sword arm aches, but you're surprisingly adept at this
>Guess swinging a sword isn't too different from your usual right arm exercise
>Somehow, despite your lack of armor, the worst wound you've received was a scratch on the shoulder from a timberwolf, who is now somewhere among the piles of dead and dying monsters surrounding you
>The sounds of battle begin to die down as your forces finish off the last few surviving creatures, while the more experienced warriors begin the long task of looting
>Apparently these monsters all carry between 5-10 gold coins on them for some reason
>You, however, have a different objective
>During the battle, the mare in the spiky armor, the villain who started this whole mess, has been tucked away in her camp behind the lines
>It's not hard to find; Her forces just slept wherever on the ground, whereas she has a tent to herself
>It's not much admittedly, just a little yellow Colemare tent designed for two ponies
>Inside, you see a shape desperately moving around
>A big shiny spike suddenly pierces the nylon material, leaving a tear
>"J-just a minute!"
>Fuck that, you're not waiting for her to get her armor on
>Walking over, you unsheathe your blood-encrusted sword and cut a long tear into the side of the tent
>Inside, a short mare is half-dressed in a set of impractically bulky armor
>"W-what?!" She shouts, as you tear open her shitty tent, "I was expecting Celestia herself, not some measly co-"
>She attempts to point her leg at you, but in doing so, one of the giant six inch spikes on her armor slashes into her cheek
>"Yowch!" She screams, grasping the wound, before collapsing into a fetal position and beginning to sob
>"I-I just wanted to be a big mare... G-go ahead and kill me, I deserve it for all I've done."
>What has she done?

>>29625637

>As far as Celestia told you, this mare used a spell to enslave all the monsters of the Everfree, then sent an envoy to Canterlot demanded surrender
>Then Celestia sent you, for some reason, and a battalion of her best mares, to put down this weird little attack
>Not much of an attack, to be honest
>Not a single mare on your side actually died, in fact, your scratch is the worst wound you've seen today
>Aw, what the heck
>You scoop the crying wannebe villain up, taking care to remove her spiked armor plates, and carry her like a foal back to camp
>Celestia can decide what to do with her; For now, there was a silly pony who needed some cheering up

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>>29625568
>Luna wants to reach out to the loyal families of the old
>all she got form Lulamoons is Trixie
>this was not what either them expected
>too proud to back out, commits the poor showmare to the life in the castle

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>>29625568
>Luna hears of the Lulamoon's problem and gifted them fuck-tons of bits.
>Trixie reluctantly accepts because she misses the simple life on the road with Anon.
>Anon bought one of NMM's unused flying citadel so they could live in comfort and still travel around Equestria.
>Years later Fortress Lulamoon becomes one of Equestria's most successful Trading/Entertainment Hubs.

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>>29625652
>>Anon bought one of NMM's unused flying citadel
He did what now?

>>29625652
It remains an impenetrable fortress for millennia, not because of the guards or cannons or armor plates, but because it carries with it the lifeblood of several nations: money.

>>29625637
> Colemare tent
Hearty chuckle

>>29624716
Fim is shit.

>>29625685
>Anon is banned from owning any floating property of imprint area larger than 50 square hooves

Speaking of, anyone got the full cap of Anon is Banned? I seem to have lost it

>>29625077
.....to be fair, their universe DOES have female rape gangs...just not for them. Apparently.

>>29625294
>Those last two lines
that makes so much sense.
>>29625325
fuck you carlos

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>>29625780
here you go bud

>>29625414
You were thinking about potatoes?>>29625410

>>29625639
Good end.

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>>29625839
Thanks familia, have a catpone

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>>29625596
>this whole chain

>>29625511
>Lesbians
They're clearly just best friends, Anon. Sometimes best friends practice kissing.

>>29625603
>mobileposter
Of course.

>>29625077
>Anon becomes the face of anti stallionism.
>Stallions talk him into going to one of their rallys.
>It's really just them bitching about stupid shit and stuff that they don't even know anything about.
>They think he really likes it.
>Talk him into giving a speech.
>Anon walks up on stage.
>He walks up to the podium and adjust the mic.
"Ehm, I have heard all of your complaints, some of you are reasonable. But some of this shit is just plain stupid!"
>Gasp erupt from the crowd.
"Yeah I said it! It's fucking dumb! You sit here and complain about how mares treat you then turn around and call them bitches and say they're all sexist. Of course they're gonna treat you like shit! I'm not even gonna start on the rest of this shit. Just shut the fuck up and leave shit alone. You've got it really good here, trust me."
>Anon then goes home and fucks his herd.

>>29625943
>Live with Trixie
>She wakes you up at 4:30 in the morning because she's hungry and wants you to make her breakfast; she could do it herself, but she wants YOU to do it
>Wakes you up by lightly tapping your face with her hoof
>If that doesn't work, she goes into the bathroom and yells until you get out of bed to investigate

>>29625609
Dude, it's perfect for MLP. Regardless of uses in real life.

>>29625247
>>29625294
Damn I need this

>>29621553
>be incognito
>day eris in ponyland
>one boop got you a tray of fudge
>it is not boop 347
>you are in the largest home in equestria
>you even boopes twilight, you and your brother are now husband brother sister wifes.
>but it will not deter you. Your goal is to boop everypony in equestria

>you are banned from the hospital.
>ponies are anti jew investing
>booped a dieing pony, got inheritance
>booped every child in the hospital nursery
>got custody, its okay though. You booped the parents too.


>even the stalions
>especially the stalions.

>>29626293
>Durk anon

FAKE DURNK

REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>29626356
I'm pretty sure people just use his name to be honest. The real durnk could have died long ago and we wouldn't know.

>>29626470
>2spooky4me

>>29626470
>>29626492
>They say the ghost of durnk still haunts this board.

>>29626470
>>29626516
>>29626492

Durnk was assainated by the CIA.

Don't ask how I know this.