Disciplinarian edition Last thread: >>29436857 Excel

>>29540508
Luna is the most mellow Punisher ever. Also saved.

>>29540508
>(all clearly organized in his Pastebin)
You will never know how happy this makes me

>>29540508
It's 4 stories, Spider Bloke. You disappoint me

>>29540508
....HOW DID YOU FUCK UP THE NAME YOU DUMBASS?! DO IT AGAIN!

>>29540508
no title, you ruined it
and you included the tl;dr version even if I told you only to use ch1 and ch2...
thanks for keeping up the tradition
>AIM
I hate you

>>29540536
it's been there for a while

>>29540568
Why did we let Bloke make the thread again?

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>>29540548
>>29540555
It's always something.
>>29540568
I love you too untitled.

>>29540536
Long time no rape

>>29525754 (repostan)
>Spitfire has had everything at the ready for you, two or three scenarios to choose from even, but you end up picking the one she had already thought would be the one most.
>Spider-Woman will join the Wonderbolts roster.
>You'll get a new suit made of some sturdier material than the one you jury rigged yourself (with Twilights help), and your mask get's an up-link to police radio and other frequencies you'll be able to change on your webshooters.
>Spider-Woman's real name will be on record linking to a fake ID Sunset Shimmer, which is only for those in the Wonderbolts with the proper clearance to see.
>The fake ID Sunset Shimmer is tech-savvy and found a good position in the Wonderbolts as an employee, but someone with the proper skill or clearance can find the another layer.
>The seemingly real Sunset Shimmer works for the Wonderbolts because they had put her through witness protection, and as the thread is now over, she works for them to pay up for the trouble she had been.
>There is no evidence, neither digital nor analog, that would indicate any Sunset comes from a different reality.
>Both of these Sunsets have a twin sister who ran away and whose whereabouts are currently unknown.
>She is never mentioned by name, and only in Spider-Woman's high security file it's hinted that the sister possesses 'different powers'.
>Synergy said you can have the name Sunset, so she won't be mad if, at one point, when she goes official, she will have to take on a different name.
>From what Spitfire told you about her, she has used a range of aliases when she made her way through the states.
>In addition to that, there was seemingly never a real person called Sunset Shimmer, and no Celestia or Luna either.
>They lived in Canterlot, their landlord remembers them, but in the beginning something came up with their identification, and then he just seemed to have misfiled them.
>They never made a mess, and had always been very polite.

>>29540596
>The fact that the landlord had seemed attracted to Celestia was a bit of an overshare on Spitfire's part.
>You really disliked the thought of someone else thinking sexually about her.
>Maybe that's still because you see Princess Celestia when you just the name 'Celestia' falls.
>Maybe because Princess Celestia has been a mother figure for almost all of your childhood.
>Maybe because she's still a symbol of purity, and defiling her, even only in one's mind, would be an act of blasphemy.
>You know, of course, that Celestia is not a god.
>But if she were to embrace you and tell you that everything is going to be alright, you know that you'd believe her without a second thought.
>You're not even sure if you want one of these hugs, or if your mind goes towards the fact that you don't know if you'll ever be able to give such a hug.
>You have doubts in your own capabilities as an adult.
>By extent also, if you'd ever have the capabilities of a parent.
>You don't know where these thoughts come from.
>Would Anon make a good father?
>No, you shouldn't think in that direction.
>He's nerdy and would probably like to play with the kids with lots of toys and action figures.
>Really bad train of thought.
>You imagine him making airplane sounds as he moves a jet over a lego city, his form obscuring another one, a smaller one...
>You throw a stone into the water by the pier.
>Hard.
>With a big splash, water came back up, hitting you in the face.
>“Well, that one was bad”, Pinkie comments, looking out of the water, just where you hit, “Zero.”
“Morning, Pinkie...”
>You're not even surprised she came out of nowhere.
>She might have even been present for a long time, watching you skip stones over the lake while you were thinking.
>“Good morning, Sunset!”, she says cheerfully, but keeps herself in check, first testing your emotions as to not annoy you, “Did your train stop at the wrong station?”

>>29540582
You fucked it up harder than any other time that I can remember...how?
>>29540596
also thanks for the reposts mate.

>>29540602
>It only took you a moment to figure out she was talking about your train of thought.
“Yeah, maybe.”
>You reach for the stone pile again.
>Now it's pretty obvious that Pinkie had refilled them every once in a while while you were lost in thought without your knowledge, but you never came to wonder about them not depleting.
>Just how far gone have you been?
>Knowing you have a spectator now you flick the stone across the water skillfully.
>“One two threfoafixseightenleven...”, Pinkies speed results in a mess of words, before she exclaims, “Seventeen! That's better than I can do.”
>You give her a smile.
“Somehow I doubt that.”
>“Aww, I'm humbled by your evaluation of my skill”, She fakes embarrassment, “wanna see?”
>You chuckle and extent an arm to her to help her out of the water.
“Sure.”
>After Pinkie had emerged she shakes herself off like a dog, “brrr... cold.”
“Well, it is still spring, and early in the morning for that matter.”
>“I'm not complaining, only helping your scientific method. You figured the water to be cold from the season, daytime and air temperature, but I got additional data to support your theories!”
>“Oh yeah? Well, thanks for always having my back, Pinkie.”
“Anything for my friends.”
>Pinkie's warm smile was addicting, there was no way you can't smile back to her.
>It's almost as if- oh yeah.
>“Nononono, bad train. Stay in Pinkie-town!”
>She bends over to pick up a few stones, and as she does so you can't help but look her over.
>While Pinkie is certainly the weightiest in your group of friends she still has an amazingly bouncy body.
>And the bathing suit, squishing everything in place only accented this voluptuousness.
>When she stands upright again you have to forcefully make eye contact and you hold your breath slightly.

>>29540568
Oh, I know, but still.

>>29540590
There there, Blike, I'm sure someone will remember that you're the thread slut.

>>29540610
>First Applejack, then Fluttershy, now Pinkie.
>Maybe AJ didn't notice, Fluttershy certainly did, and Pinkie... well she's usually good at those things.
>She pauses.
>That's a way too long a pause to decide which stone to flick first.
>“You can look, but you can't touch~”, she giggles, “We both have boyfriends, Sunny...”
>Fuck.
>You close your eyes, and the built tension falls like a weight down on you
>“I'm just kidding, you can touch, we're friends after all.”
“No, Pinkie...”
>Your eyes, however, trail slightly down before you catch yourself.
>“Intimacy makes people uncomfortable. I want to cheer you up, not make you uncomfortable. So let's stop at that.”
“Yes, let's!”
>You exhale the air you don't remember having sucked in.
“Party tricks?”
>It was a bad change of topic, but Pinkie bites on it.
>“Yes, you can flick stones, I can't, buuuut...”
>She drops a stone into the water where it... floats.
>Stepping on it, and taking a moment to balance herself out, Pinkie then drops the next stone in the water before her and takes another step.
>Before you properly comprehend what's going on, she was already a few steps out on the water, balancing on a stone that floated on the water.
“Jesus H Christ.”
>“Do not say the name of the lord in vain, Sunset.”
“You're walking on water!”
>“Oh, so you were not cursing but actually comparing me to Jesus?”
“No, that's- I...”

>>29540606
This is what happens when I rush things.

>>29540618
>“I don't think any of us would want that. The next time he gets to prance around was in revelations, wasn't it? End times sounds bad. Dead Rising, Rivers of Blood. Un-fun stuff.”
“You are walking on water...”
>“Well, no. Obviously I'm stepping on stones. There's always a trick to it.”
>Pinkie taps her head like she revealed some big secret to you, like that's the explanation to it all.
“Oh yeah. Now that you say it”, you click with your tongue, “could have figured it out myself.”
>You exaggerate the faux-understanding of what she did.
>“Aww, don't feel bad, Sunny”, Pinkie says as she does a cartwheel on the perfectly spaced stones on the water, “you have different qualities than... Ms. Belief!”
>She strikes a heroic pose.
“Misbelief?”
>“No, Miss Believe, not misbelieve. Y-You see what-?”
“Yeah, I see what you did there... But I think it's 'disbelieve'.”
>“Nah-uh. Disbelief is if you don't believe in something, misbelief is if you believe in the wrong thing. While, just now, you disbelieved me to be right, while actually you misbelieved yourself to be right. Like you'd misbelieve some things to be possible or not.”
“Oh, yeah, no. I see. It's... very clever”, you nod to her, confirming that statement, “Are you all coming up with superhero names?”
>“Yipyip.”
“Hmm...”, you think back to another topic that had run through your head earlier, “you have the liberty to chose your own name... I for one like Miss Believe. It's weird, but... so are you. It fits.”
>You give her a warm smile
>“Aww, thank you~”, Pinkie takes no offense to what others would have considered an insult.
>Pinkie's being Pinkie, and today she's the kind of Pinkie who saves you.
>Miss Believe was just the superhero you needed right now.
“But you know Superheroines only wear swimsuits in comics, right?”
>“Misty Fly doesn't.”

>>29540619
I cant understand how you screwed it up that badly.

>>29540624
pastebin updated
ch1: pastebin.com/P4Mawhsw
ch2: pastebin.com/pGJV6pUZ

>>29540606
>>29540611
>>29540619
stop interrupting me!

>>29540619
you waited till page 8!

>>29540632
....no he didn't, he posted at page six. AND FUCKED UP THE TITLE AND THE OP AT THE SAME TIME!

>>29540639
AND IT SAYS I'M AIM!

>>29540632
>>29540639
>>29540629
I should have gone back over it before posting.

>>29484050
>You come to realize that you are Sombra Morbius as the sound and light around you suddenly dies
>Not needing the light, your vision is still clear
>However, you aren't sure about where you are
>You were fighting this strange woman and then it's all fuzzy
>You notice that the clawing hunger is gone now
>The implications of this frightens you and as you look around you find valid reasons for your fear
>The woman you were fighting lies motionless on the ground, along with two others
>You walk towards your unmoving opponent as you hear someone crying
>It came from below which makes you realize that you are standing on a high platform
>Further investigation of your surroundings tells you that you are in a nightclub
>Perhaps the one that was across the street?
>There was definitely a party in process there so if you are in that nightclub...
>"Vinyl?... Anyone?" Calls out tearful voice of a young woman, making you put your speculations aside
>Maybe they can tell you what happened
>You go to the edge of the platform and look down
>It is high but... Something tells you that you can jump down just fine, so you do it
>Reaching the floor you hear a surprised gasp, which tells you where the person you're looking for is
>You turn and see a young woman suspended in the air by some rope
>She looks around, unable to see anything in the dark, unlike you
>"V-Vinyl?" Her voice is so hopeful that you almost don't want to speak and take it away
>But alas
"I am not Vinyl." You speak. "My name is Sombra. Can you tell me what happened here?"
>She frowns but obliges, "Some guy just ran into the club attacking people and this girl came in and threw him up there."
>She points to the platform you were on
>"I don't think she did it on purpose but the guy hit one of my friends and then attacked me, but Vinyl tried to cut him off and h-he-"
>She stops for a second. "Is she okay? Can you go up there and look?"
>You open your mouth but can't bring yourself to speak about it

>>29540660
>Instead you decide on something else
>There is nothing you can do here but maybe S.H.I.E.L.D. can
"Do you have a phone?" You ask the girl. "I'll call for help."
>She nods. "Yeah it's in my pocket." She pulls it out and starts dialing 911
>You take the phone from her before she can finish
"Not 911, you don't want them involved in this trust me."
>"Who then?" She asks.
>You just turn your back to her and dial
>>"Yes, this is Lilac Patissery, how can I help you?"
"Sombra M. Alpha, foxtrot, one, three, one, one, x-ray, sierra. Requesting immediate medical support to my location. Please suspend any Non-Shield interventions to the area."
>>"Understood, support inbound, ETA three minutes."
>You hang up a the phone
>"Did you just call S.H.I.E.L.D.?" The girl asks
>You grab her hand and put her phone in her palm
"I'm sorry." You say before running out of and away from the nightclub, ignoring the girl calling after you

>>29540650
Not even basic copy pasting is that hard. There is no excuse to have messed it up that badly.

>>29540667
Here's the promised update. Patebin also updated.

Working on Darkest Anon too, but just doesn't sit well with me so no update on that for now.

Nap first, green soon

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>>29540508

>>29541134
That'll be good

>"Uh, Anon?"
>Yes you are
>It's been a day since you got reeled into a poolside threesome with the Dazzling sisters
>You learned a lot more about mermaid-pussy than you ever thought
>With effort, you lift your head from your lunch to be surprised by a pretty worried-looking Sunset Shimmer
>Former-bully-turned-good-girl and all around amazingly talented pyrokinetic, from what you'd heard
>What the fuck is she doing here?
"Ah, uh, hey... Sunset? What's up?"
>She shifts from side to side, seemingly uncertain of how to address you, before taking a breath
>"Anon, is someone... bullying you?"
>Wait what the fuck? Why-
>Ooooh
>Right, the caveat to your little mermaid à trois
>You follow her gaze to where your neck and shoulder meet, the exposed skin revealing a jagged, oval bruise of pretty decent size
>Adagio's version of a good-night kiss
>Sonata, for her part, hadn't seemed particularly worried, telling you it was part of "Dagi's little game"
>Aria had been near silent the entire time, which was worrying in its own way
>Before you can speak, Sunset plants her fists on her hips
>"Because if someone is, you can tell me! I know being the only powerless person here might seem scary, but you should never be afraid to speak up! You can go to Principle Celestia, Vice Principle Luna, Twilight, or e-even me! I promise, we'll help keep you safe here!"
>You cough, cheeks tinted red, as the cafeteria falls silent and stares at you
>Oh god, she looks so proud of herself
>Rubbing your temples, you sigh
"Okay, okay. Look, can we meet somewhere and I'll tell you about it? Just please, for the love of god, stop yelling."
>Reality catches up to little miss do-gooder and she pales, looking around before nodding
>"Sorry! Um, sure? Where at?"
>You wrack your skull for an idea before settling on an idea
"The school pool, midnight tonight."
>"Sure! If that makes you feel safe, I'll see you then!"
>Sunset walks back to her group and conversation resumes, with your name on most everyone's lips

>>29541868
Sweet! This is my second favorite story of yours.

>>29541868
>Foursome.
FTFU.

>>29542013
Oh god dammit, fuck everything on this fucking planet

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>>29540508

>>29542114
Sunset please, you're making a mess with the whipped cream

>>29542114
Dude Sunny you need to lay off the mayo.

>>29541868
>Okay Anon, congratulations, you've managed to get some alone time with literally the hottest girl in school so you can explain how you got all bruised up fucking a trio of former super-villains
"Well, when you say it that way, this all sounds stupid as fu-"
>'Creak'
>"Anon, you in here?"
>Ohshit, right, girl, use words you fuck!
"Uh, okay, so lemme jus-"
>She rushes over, practically inches from you
>"Who is it? Just give me names and I can go right to Twi, she'll help you! And don't worry, you'll be protected from them! Was it Gilda? Glimmer? Tri-mmff!?"
>You cut off her rambling with a finger to the lips as soon as you start seeing wisps of fire teasing from her hair, a sure sign of her excitement
>She's cute, in a exciteable, terrifying kind of way
>Tugging down the collar of your shirt with your free hand, you expose the bruise
"Sunset, chill, it's just a hickey."
>Quirking an eyebrow, you pull the silencing finger back, whipping it on the side of your pants
>Jeeze, she was hot to the touch!
>"A... hickey?"
>You kick your heels a bit, feeling more than a little weird about the whole situation
"Yeah... look, if I tell you about it, do you promise not to freak out again?"
>Sunset chews her bottom lip and nods
>So you explain the whole, sexy affair. The note, Sonata, her sisters, the bite...
>By the end of it, Sunset's face is as red as her hair
"... And that about sums it up. So, no bullies to hunt, got it, Sunset?"
>...
>"Sunset?"
>Shaking her head (and whipping a few errant flames around), she huffs, looking away
>"O-Okay, fine! So you just... did all that stuff and got a..."
"Hickey, Sunset."
>The way she's acting...
>There's no way
"You /did/ know what a hickey was before I told you, didn't you?"
>"Y-Yeah, of course! I know all about that sort of, um, thing!"
>Oho, methinks the lady doth protest too much
"You had no idea, did you? Sunset Shimmer, former Queen Bitch of Canterlot, and you had no clue about sex!"
>"I totally do!"
"Prove it."
>"Fine!"

>>29542464
>"I got you yellow."
>"He doesn't want yellow."

I've been cryogenically frozen waiting for Keaton to update Shimmering. Did it ever happen?

>>29542491
no, but now you can join the rest of us in current year +1

>>29542491
No but Zelda comes out next week.

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>>29540508
SNEAK PEAK:
>The green hooded girl snarls and wastes no time to begin charging towards Spider-Woman.
>She sticks her knife out like a spear, aimed to kill.
>“You’re fucking dead!” she howls.
>As if by instinct, however, the costumed figure grabs the hood’s knife-wielding arm, bends her elbow so the weapon faces upwards, and uses the brief opening of her opponent’s defenses to launch a powerful punch right into her stomach.
>“GUHKF!”
>The hood clutches her stomach, stumbling several steps back, hunched and dry-heaving.
>She still stands.
>Spider-Woman remedies with a sweeping kick to the green fiend’s ankles tripping the punk. >She lands on her back with great impact into a puddle of rainwater on the alley ground, the knife leaving her grip with clang across the pavement.
>Coughing and soaking wet, she struggles to merely rise up on her own knees.
>Naked of her weapon, she feels around desperately for the blade blindly in the dark night of the alley.
>Once she sees it, her hand reaches for the handle of the blade.
>“Yes! Got it!”
>But not for long.
>Spider-Woman quickly kicks the knife out of her hand, the metallic clang about a foot away from either of them.
>The arachnoid then adds a punch to green hood's face.
>Panting, Spider-Woman turns around to face the lavender-cloaked leader of these two other crooked girls.
>“Now who wants some more?” she asks angrily. “There's plenty more where that--”
>SLAP!
>...
>Spidey cups her cheek, just barely stumbling…
>She looks up, just barely able to see the grin under the lavender-hooded girl's hood through the light of the moonlight sky, highlighting the criminal's uniquely shaped lips that form such a cocky, yet sultry, smile.
>There’s a pause between the two as they merely stare off at one another.
>Then, Spider-Woman clenches her fists.
>“Oh, it’s on…”


This is just a little, little, little piece of the revamp/rebirth. Hope it's satisfactory.

>>29542741
So,like, yeah...I'm still doing the rewrite. That is all.

>>29542464
>prove it
Hoo boy

>>29542464
gonna come back to this tomorrow, I'm fucking exhausted
Lewds WILL happen

>>29542741
Glad to see you back at it, Beans
That said, prolly shouldn't post it in the middle of the night

Zombies and lichs in this thread
>>29542766
I figured out why I dislike your writing style.
It has no emotion, it reads like a script, only telling events with the occasional emotion-word. But from how you write it we don't know whom to root for while you manage to make everyone look unsympathetic.
A theatre script may be that way because the actors fill in the emotions, but that's the wrong medium pal.
It's uncanny

>>29542976
>prolly shouldn't post it in the middle of the night
Usually don't, but i don't see why not

>>29542989
I write scripts as well as act, and I do admit that I sometimes struggle with the problem that you've mentioned. This any better?

>Oh my god…
>That’s her…
>She.
>You just.
>...
>You shouldn’t be this excited.
>Spider-Woman proudly stands with her hands placed defiantly on her heavenly hips, your camera around her neck.
>Good lawdy them hips....
>You’re seeing her hips!
>UP CLOSE!
>They’re amazing…
>Strong, wide, fertil, muscular….
>Your heart beats longingly rather than out of fear at this point.
>She folds her arms and takes a sassy stance at the mechanical armed terror.
>You’re only three feet behind her, a strand of webbing on your back.
>You watch your hero work her magic.
>“You know, I’m familiar with the term “crashing in” but literally sending a crashed car that explodes through the wall? Yeah, that’s a bit much.”
>Her voice is a lot smoother than you thought it’d be.
>Younger sounding too.
>A bit higher as well, but just as nice to hear if not a bit more feisty.
>The trench-coated villain growls.
>“You think you’re so damn funny, don’t you? What with your clever nicknames...I’m Doctor Octopus, and I deserve to be addressed as such!”
>Spider-Woman scoffs.
>“Pssh, c’mon, lighten up. Doctor Octopus, Doc-Ock, Crockpot--it’s all the same, right?”
>You stare in wonder, your jaw down on the floor.
>Spidey looks at you.
>“So handsome, what’s she want with you? The pictures?”
>You nod.
“And more,” you say hoarsely, rubbing your neck. “She wants to know everything I know about you…”
>“That all?”
>You blush.
“Well she was...er, is...trying to kidnap me. For things. Dirty things.”
>Spider-Woman sighs, waving her finger at Doc-Ock like an irritated parent.
>“Tsk tsk! Honestly, Doc, I know you have a hard time with boys, but that doesn’t mean you can just take ‘em! Especially the cute ones!”
“I-I’m not cute…”

>>29543083
I'd call that an improvement
There's less
>"......!" Person said
and
>..... Person did

It flows better.

>>29540694
Based.

>>29543083
>>29543003
>>29542766
>>29542741
Holy shit, the prodigal asshole returns, its been what, 8-9 months since you went off saying you were writing while fucking around in other threads?

>>29543910
Oh, don't worry, I can still leave if that's what you want.

>>29543934
Nah, I don't particularly care, you aren't important enough for that threat to hold any value. I'm just pointing out a fact.

>>29543083
Please for the love God continue.

>>29543934
Please, Beans, for god's sake, don't leave again
You're talented, you've got good ideas, and we don't own you

>>29544270
....Keaton, why are you sucking up to the attention whore like he's your alcoholic father that abandoned you? Fuck him. If he gets off his ass and posts here long enough to be relevant again then by all means, but he just wants validation for being an asshat. Don't give it too him
>>29544223
you too.

>>29541868
Sunset, why do you brain fail?

>>29544319
Because I like his writing and he's literally done nothing to be demeaned?
He /just/ came back, after months, and that's your response?
Christ...

>>29544325
Because it's funny

>>29544343
Keaton responding to him will only make it worse.

>>29544346
You're right.
It's early, I haven't gotten myself together yet.
Makin coffee.
How's everyone else today?

>>29544354
Getting ready to go to class.

>>29543934
don't mind that guy
I didn't namefag my criticism ( >>29542989
) because I was on my phone and forgot,
While, yes, it was mostly negative and I was in a hurry.
So... no, it's not better. It's mocking hyperbole of emotional description in the begining, but then it dies down from 100 to 0 like hitting a brick wall.
You describe stuff well when you do it, but then again you can also get distracted by it.
If you write a single scene and half of it is "ZOMG HIPS!!!1" it just feels way too off...
it's mostly internal monologue with the protagonist not having his priorities in order, it takes half the scene to even know the protagonist is threatened ot held hostage, or that there are spectators in the fight who don't help because of reasons.

>>Oh my god…
>>That’s her…
>>She.
I don't know if you cut off a sentence here like he's interrupting his internal monologue himself, but it seems like it's as if you mean that „She.“ is the explaination as tho who is „her“ in the previous line.

>>You just.
I guess I was right with the interruption, because that is certainly not a stand alone thing.
Add a verb to „She.“ and end both these lines with a hypen, not a period.

>>...
>>You shouldn’t be this excited.
It's not clear if this is still the protagonists internal monologue and he's rebuking himself, or if this is just for the audience. The 3 dots before it seem like a pause as a connection to another thought.
You know you shouldn't be this excited. Would be the better option, as it both is clearer what form it is, a description of internal monologie, as opposed to the internal monologue itself

>>Spider-Woman proudly stands with her hands placed defiantly on her heavenly hips, your camera around her neck.
Adverb, adverb, adjective, combo!
The second statement seems odd as it doesn't have a verb, but the description wouldn't flow with the rest of the sentence

>>29544521
>>Good lawdy them hips....
>>You’re seeing her hips!
>>UP CLOSE!
At this point the use of the word „hips“ almost already lost it's impact, it's become repetative

>>They’re amazing…
>>Strong, wide, fertil, muscular….
The last two adjectives don't describe the hips, but the stuff inside and around them.

>>Your heart beats longingly rather than out of fear at this point.
The word fear has no impact here, a quick/lazy reader flows over it. Nothing would indicate that the protagonist has felt fear in the near past.

>>She folds her arms and takes a sassy stance at the mechanical armed terror.
Pronoun game, not drastic but there has not been a female person in the last seven lines, at this point you should use a name again.
Also... „ mechanical armed terror“ that's the description you're going with? Really?

>>You’re only three feet behind her, a strand of webbing on your back.
Again, pronoun game, not drastic yet again, but you introduced two people, both of which are female.
It's also not clear if the protagonist is hanging in the air safely, or it was used to pull him away just now.
Either way, you just described the Spider-Woman and introduced a “terror”, I'm interested in that

>>You watch your hero work her magic.
Her magic is what? Talking to the villain? Because she's not doing anything right now.

>>29544525
>>“You know, I’m familiar with the term “crashing in” but literally sending a crashed car that explodes through the wall? Yeah, that’s a bit much.”
This makes it seem like they were already mid conversation. It's not a one liner.
Also... what are you saying? A crashed car that exploded through the wall? What?
Was it already crashed? Did she use it? Did she make it explode? Is she patting herself on the back for making a pun while explaining it? What?

>>Her voice is a lot smoother than you thought it’d be.
>>Younger sounding too.
>>A bit higher as well, but just as nice to hear if not a bit more feisty.
Okay, let's focus on the one that's not a supervillain who probably just threatened you, but still on the object of desire. Because mating is more important than survival.

>>The trench-coated villain growls.
Who?
Oh, the mechanical armed terror. Got it.

>>“You think you’re so damn funny, don’t you? What with your clever nicknames...I’m Doctor Octopus, and I deserve to be addressed as such!”
What is she talking about? It's not like Sunset just said something about nicknames.
Is she feeling any emotion? Anger, pride, disgust, arrogance?

>>Spider-Woman scoffs.
>>“Pssh, c’mon, lighten up. Doctor Octopus, Doc-Ock, Crockpot--it’s all the same, right?”
Oh, here it is. Did you change stuff around?

>>You stare in wonder, your jaw down on the floor.
About... Spidey's playful banter? Isn't that what she does?
Even if he didn't know it, it's not common knowledge, you use a stupid hyperbole.

>>29544532
>>Spidey looks at you.
She's turning away from the villain?

>>“So handsome, what’s she want with you? The pictures?”
>>You nod.
He confirms it.
>“And more,” you say hoarsely, rubbing your neck. “She wants to know everything I know about you…”
He even adds more, so why...

>>“That all?”
… is she pressing on? Her question was answered with bonus points.
There was nothing to give her any indication she should continue the questioning, but you know you wanted to get to the rest so you found a reason that simply doesn't make sense.

>>You blush.
>“Well she was...er, is...trying to kidnap me. For things. Dirty things.”
>>Spider-Woman sighs, waving her finger at Doc-Ock like an irritated parent.
>>“Tsk tsk! Honestly, Doc, I know you have a hard time with boys, but that doesn’t mean you can just take ‘em! Especially the cute ones!”
Sunset saying Ock is not allowed to kidnap people, /especially/ not certain ones makes Sunset look like a dick too, like she evaluates cute people over others.
If you want to get to the "I'm not cute" you could have said "even if", as in "even if they are cute and dress like they want someone to take them away." blowing a kiss to Anon.

>“I-I’m not cute…”
We don't know how the protagonist feels about that. Does he feel insulted, because men are supposed to be hot, not cute? Or flustered because the object of his own desire called him that? Is he superkeaton and gets embarrassed for no reason?

>>29544538
Careful Untitled, Beans doesn't take being criticized very well.

>>29544547
go big or go home

>>29544552
Fair enough, your digits almost got it too. Maybe next time mate.

>>29540508
I kinda want to do a marvel zombie thing.
I got a great story in mind but I'm going to badly execute it.

>>29546045
Eh, as long as you try to improve your writing as you go I'd read it.

>>29546062
I'm just afraid that because of my poor writing skills I'll just fuck up the story.
Do you want me to write the concept I have for it but it could spoil the plan I have for it.

>>29546105
Start with what you know about the character. Are they a high school/college student? What's a typical day for them? Do they have a job? Things like that.

>>29546105
Hopefully you will continue it unlike the last person

>>29546156
>>29546165
My plan is keep all the Marvel heroes and villains the same except for Spider-Man characters and the power ponies.
zombies appear and like the comic Sunset will probably be one of the first infected.
Sunset goes home and tries to attack Anon, her bite misses but the force of her attack pushes him out the window of their apartment.
I'm going to try to convey where Peter felt the guilt and remorse he had for killing MJ and May.
For example Peter kept his mask on because he couldn't stand looking at himself and what he has become.
So I have Anon's "death" to haunt her the same way.
Unknown to Sunset however, Anon was saved at the last second by Twilight.
The story is going to switch back and forth between a zombiefied gulit driven Sunset and Anon trying to survive with the very few living humans and heroes to preserve mankind.

>>29546355
Cool. We had a guy who started a zombies idea but never finished it

>>29546399
Actually it was me. I didn't like my previous concept.

>>29546423
Well go for broke and do this>>29546355
just please don't bail on it, sounds like it could be a great idea.

>>29546423
Oh. I still liked that one

We have an anniversary coming up, how about a small writing contest?

>>29546445
>>29546449
I'm currently working on it right now.
Sorry about my other green it just didn't work out.

>>29546765
That’s fine. Glad to see it gonna happen again

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would you a vampire, /sup/?

>>29547506
....gonna be a solid no from me.

>>29547506
Yes, because that might get me some of that sweet, sweet immortality.

>>29547506
I'd anything so long as it has a vagina and is consenting.

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I apologize for not posting more of what will eventually be titled "Burning Sensation" in my pastebin for you all tonight.

Unfortunately, I underestimated the difficulty of a particular assignment and am, in no uncertain terms, scrambling to complete this damn thing.

Rest assured, you will get dominant, firey Sunset Shimmer having adorable, fumbling sex with anon under a shower. I'll dedicate my Friday to it.

>>29547506
Rather her be the Phoniex

>>29546683
I would, but my time is limited

>>29547506
Repends on what vampire lore to use

>>29548329
Das sad

>>29548556
Showersex is difficult, I understand your struggle, we should practise at times, keats

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>>29549762
>Showersex is difficult; I understand your struggle, we should practice at times, keats
This is why I fucking love this thread. Also fixed your grammer.

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>>29549762
No bully

>>29548556
>"I will dedicate my friday to shower sex."

i was invited from pol to be here

t. redpilled imgur poster from previous thread

Hello based turkroach and burger bro

>>29550811
>>29550745
Hey guys, welcome I'm the roach

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>>29550811
how you doing faggot :D

http://imgur.com/gallery/u5o62
time travel
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/vbw1v5e0n1h4in3/AADX6B4wkTzykbj3xySJWzQ-a?dl=0
redpills

for solidly sake.

so rarity a best ?
season 3 a worst?
and EQgirls a shit ?

>>29550829
Agreed, except Octavia is best. Eqg is bad but sexy.

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>>29550837
the r34 is fine the edits are horrible

octavia is classy. better than dubstep pone.

you caught up on the new season so far ?

>>29550843
I dropped it mid season, I know about the important events though.

>>29550811
Heyo. Burger here

>>29550848
im probaly behind but its pretty good slice of life animus.

sad they changed the changlings though. wouldve like to see more of them here and there between episodes in background ponies like a mistake or whats going on.

but cant hope for top quality foreshadowing in this based show.

what got you into the show ?

for me it was cute moe tastic shit this is even before i got into anime properly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-Ff4TYLPT0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF6NXvUKfLs

music

>>29550859
Rainbow Dash masturbation edit on youtube kek

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>>29550863
not like we wherent prepared for the fapining of our times. fanfics and smut are one and the same. escapism levels are impossible to comprehend.

we cause more butthurt than any furfag on this site so its always nice to be the super weapon of autism.

What the fuck is going on?

>>29550870
I invited friends over from /pol/

>>29550873
and i brought up the pone in pol

>>29550873
Then would you kindly go back?

>>29550881
but where you and this is a slow bread.

>>29550857
what got you into ze pone

>>29550878
>>29550883
Wait, are you that dude that was banned for shimmposting?

>>29550893
nope wrong faggots.

>>29550881
Cant they stay? Pleaseee? We'll be very good. And I really like the green here :/

>>29550895
Just be on your best behavior.

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>>29550906
will do desu


is scary waifu good villian material ? likes to save random anons she likes from dangers and gets followed from the trail of the missing person after a crime. poor anon is in the wrong place and time everytime. something something villian gets turned into hero or gets worse with every release and recapture.

>>29550906
Yes, bloke sir! Thank you, sir.

>>29550912
Are you having a stroke? I like the idea of a detective Anon trying to stop some nightmare creature though.

>>29550921
but why stop it if you can marry it and change from a shity appartment into a new empire ?

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>>29550926
First you stop her, then you realize she just can't control it, you try to hide and help her but she goes wild and rapes you in nightmare form.

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>>29550933
night mare form is unsettling in the sense that all your fears of social interaction and childhood issues, are blended in with sharp transitions of the sex. so your constantly going from sexy time to stress filled, sad laden dreams and back again.

oh and shes night mare form while sex to confuse you even more.

>>29550939
Seems alright to me.

>>29550955
with this atleast we'd get the greens to be more personel from the start and even more so when the lewd begins

>>29550958
Dammit now I want a scary nightmare waifu green

>>29550973
have it be lyra who steals magic from luna and merges with another character you like and blam human fetish and your half waifu aquired.

>>29550973
>>29550998
Okay, its great you two are here, but seriously, drop the names or make some green, only writefags or drawfags get names here. The rest of us are anonymous.
>>29550939
>>29550933
>>29550921
>>29550926
>>29550912
Neat idea though, snuggle the evil out of her, or at least make her less depressed.

Sooo... Someone sent me a rose today. No cards or anything just; To Defiant With Love. I can think of just 1 person that might have done it but she's married so probably not her.

What do?

>>29551202
IRL?

>>29551202
....hope its not a dude or a trap, then take long walks in alleys? Did you tell anyone who you are, or did you know anyone that knows you write here? Buy a gun and go /k/ommando for a bit (literally). There are a lot of ideas, solutions, and problems for this. And seeing as we are a /sup/ thread where the villainesses routinely try to kidnap the protag, you might be bonned. Oh, call the cops, always forget about them.
>>29551508
also this?

>>29551508
Yes IRL.

>>29551519
It didn't say Defiant literally I just put it instead of my name, but you might be right s/he might be a stalker. I am kinda scaroused.

>>29551573
Forgot name

>>29551576
...as long as its not a dude or a trap, both the fake girl and the "catch you by surprise and cut out a kidney", then try and go for it. Oh and the natural, so long as none of your friends and female acquaintances don't mysteriously die or get injured, that's a big no no.

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>>29551573
BEST OF LUCK!

>>29551601
>>29551608
Well, we'll see. It seems like my yandere fantasy might become a reality afterall.

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>>29551612
Just don't die on us, and may the person following you not be of shit taste. Good luck Snake.

>>29551633
Thx, I'll keep you guys updated if anything else happens.

>>29544521
>>29544525
>>29544532
>>29544538
Probably gonna rewrite this entire sequence now for the better. I think why the way things are almost misplaced is because I'm pretty much erasing certain old sentences, tweaking new ones, and moving others around. Thanks for taking the time to write all this man. I've completely redone a scene with all this in mind. I hope it turns out better than what it initially was. You're a god.

>>29544552
Actually, I really appreciate super-criticism, and untitled's criticism is some of the best you'll see on this whole board, and I think it's legitimately helped me in several newer stories I've been pre-writing.

See you all soon, those of you who still kinda find me decent.

What the /fuck/ did I wake up to?
What was that string of nonsense posts?
Defiant has a stalker?
What?

>>29552059
Everyone is getting high as balls today. Just roll with it.

>>29552059
Today was a good day

>>29552059
It's not my job to know what happens around here. I got a life that's going down a staircase of madness

>>29534679
>You expected that your powers would be exposed to someone at some point
>However being exposed to the whole school was different, especially in such gruesome fashion
>You didn't have much option now
"Su, take over, we run." You whisper and your broken body turns into a heap of water which later takes the shape of a slender and well-shaped frame of a young woman, still retaining her transparency
>People around were really freaked out now, if they somehow weren't before
>Some of them actually take off running
>Su however doesn't pay them as much attention as you do and just starts gathering your blood and brain matter from the ground
>As they enter her body, they disperse and move around in her ever circulating fluid form
>You need those pieces if you want to preserve your body mass, your flesh does not regenerate like living flesh does
>First the pieces need to slowly dissolve into Su's liquid form, then when you change places with her your injuries will be healed
>Premature body swap will leave the parts in different places of your body and your healing will stop until you swap again
>You can use animal flesh to heal, but after the process you feel ill and weak for a couple of days
>"Got it all, where to?" She asks loudly, never the subtle one
>You conjure a hallucination of yourself
~First home, then... I don't know we may have to hide for sometime~
>She nods and rapidly streams along the road, towards your home

>Be Rainbow Dash
>You've seen some shit
>That reclusive kid from your history class just got his head exploded and then turned into a water lady
>Now he's... she's? They are? Anyway, running away
>With quite a speed too, but you think you can run faster, so you decide to follow

That's all for now, more later if my stalker doesn't kidnap or murder me

>>29553240
Good luck with that, though you might get lucky, she may just have you marry her and have your kids. I recommend eating a lot of fruit.

>>29553240
At leastyou wrote something. I got nothing for lovecraft Anon

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Still writing the Sunset thing, I promise!
Just trying to make it sweet-yet-satisfying

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>>29555028
Take your time. I'd rather it be as good as you can make it and take a little more time to get to us, then posted now but be utter shit. Also, have a lewd Sunset.

>>29542464
>Holy shit that worked
"Uh, whuh-"
>"C'mon!"
>Sunset grabs you by the wrist and starts forcefully dragging your ass off to the showers
>Anon, you've made a mistake
>A sexy, sexy mistake
>Shoving the door open, she all but tosses you against the cool tile wall beneath a showerhead
>"Shirt. Pants. Lose 'em. Now!"
>Something has gone awry
>You just wanted to tease her, now she's gonna Carrie you in the ladies showers!
>Dad always told you this would happen one day!
>With a gulp, you carefully unzip and kick off your pants, leaving you clad in boxers and sporting a tent you could hang a flag from
>Damn your addiction to dangerous women!
>To her credit, Sunset only hesitates for a moment before pushing you down into a seating position on the cold as fuck tiles
>She follows, kneeling in front of you, glaring at your covered, stubborn arousal
>Silence drags on until you clear your throat
"So, uh, are you gonna-"
>"Shut it, I'm just..."
>She falters again, her blush returning, which only makes your arousal twitch and stiffen
"Stalling for time?"
>"N-No!"
>A little flare from her hair reminds you that, fumbling virgin or not, Sunset could still flash-fry you if you push her
"Okay, okay, you aren't stalling! You're just... gearing up to off my boxers, yeah?"
>The red-head give you a look you can't really decipher, so you shrug
"Baby steps?"
>Sunset nods and takes a breath, reaching out to your crotch tentatively
>"Right... baby steps... Icandothis"

>>29555785
>Sunset tugs your boxers down, exposing your poor ass to the frigid tile
"Cold!"
>"Oh! Right, sorry!"
>Sunset takes your hand in hers and suddenly the cold gives way to a full-body warmth that reminds you of stretching out in front of a fireplace
"Woah..."
>Toasty!
>She gives you a small smile, tucking a lose strand of hair behind her ear
>"Better? Good. Just keep hold of my hand and you should stay pretty warm..."
>Idly, you lace finger with her
>She doesn't pull away
>L-Lewd
>But again, her focus is drawn down to your cock, before finally she takes you in hand with a gentle, soft grip
>"Huh... it's... different."
>You keep your comments to yourself for once, letting her explore while you bask in the heavenly warmth and attention
>This was so different from the Dazzlings
>Sweeter, more naive
>Eventually, though, you have to speak up, no matter how much you enjoy a good handy
"Shouldn't, ah, you get naked too?"
>The comment draws Sunset out of her revery and the smooth tenderness of her explorative hand leaves you
>"Right, for the, uh, the sex, yeah..."
>She chews her lip, which you can't help but find adorable
"Y'know, we don't have to.."
>And that cute expression vanishes, replaced by a determined glare
>"What, don't think I can do it?"
>Oh god dammit
>That warming hand is yanked away and replaced with the shocking cold of the shower floor as Sunset stands up and starts stripping down angrily, tossing her shed clothing into a pile, panties and all
>Standing in front of you, hands on her generous hips, is Sunset Shimmer
>Goddamn you, you aren't sure what's sexier, submissive Sunset or dominant Sunset!
>Then she flicks on the shower and douses you in a spray of cold water that forces out a totally-manly shriek from you
>Okay, changed your mind, Dominant Sunset is a bitch!
>"Heh, sorry, but if we're doing this, I don't want to burn you if I get a little wild."
>Sunset bends down low, giving you a face-full of smug
>"Assuming you can even do that."

>>29555792
>Oh, you'll fucking show her
>But for now, you play nice, putting on a strained smile and locking eyes
"We'll just have to see, huh, princess?"
>She huffs and carefully gets down on her knees, her hips kissing yours and returning that comforting warmth, only slightly dampend by the constant staccato of the shower
>It's weird, being in this position again, with a beautiful mutant girl in your lap and doused in water
>The pause in dialogue gives Sunset time to think too, obviously debating the benefits of proving herself versus losing her virginity
>Her hand reaching down to line your cock up with her pussy was a pretty clear indicator of her decision
>Slowly, Sunset sinks down, shuddering as you pierce her wall but not stopping until her hips kiss yours, leaving you surrounded by her vice-like heat
>"F-Fuck~..."
"F-Fuck~...
>You sit there together, soaked, panting, adjusting to the sensation
>Your vision is filled with Sunset's flushed face and gorgeous eyes, her long hair framing her face in vines of crimson and gold
>She's the one to make the first move, awkward and halting as it is, lifting her hips in short, uneven motions
"H-Here, let me help..."
>You reach out to take her hips, trying to change her movements into something more steady and pleasurable
>Sunset pauses, but thankfully goes with it, allowing you to guide her hips
>Your shared moans are muffled by the constant fall of water but something you do notice is the volume of steam as the pace increases
>As it turns out, in the heat of the moment, little miss badass turns into a human sauna
>The meaty slaps of your fucking echo off the tiled walls, mixing with the moans and water as your vision is obscured
>Still, you're pretty proud of the effect
>You can feel yourself getting close
>Gotta warn her
"S-Sunset, I'm-MPH!"
>She cuts you off with a kiss, hugging you tight as her body shakes on top of yours, the two of you sharing a moment of total bliss

>>29555798
>Slowly the blanket of heat ebbs away, just leaving the two of you, curled together beneath the cascade of cool, cleansing water
".... Sunset?"
>"...Zzzzz..."
>God dammit

http://pastebin.com/uFRYAqki

FINALLY

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>>29555785
>>29555792
>>29555798
>>29555805
Gotta love stumbling virgin sex. Nice work keaton!

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>>29555855
I'm sorry it took me so long, my friend asked me to go over to his apartment to take care of his kitten while he's away and shit kind of snowballed from there.

Sleeping in until noon did not help things.

But, I did it, and the pastebin is there for anyone who doesn't want to scroll through half a thread to get their jollies.

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>>29555885
It's all good man. You got an update out, and that's what matters.

>>29556284
I just don't know what the followup is going to be.
I'm still spinning my wheels with Shimmering, and this stuff is fun, but I have no idea what to do next.

The general premise is easy enough, but I dunno.

If anyone has any ideas, shout them out to me. Something might stick.

>>29556323
You could just write some Slice of life shit for This green.

>>29556386
True, it ain't all gonna be smut
Hell, I was considering stopping it before the sex, with Sunset saying no and the both of them just hanging out and getting a pizza the next day.

>>29555805
Got undescriptive right at the good parts.
How does either of them know how to kiss?
On another note women with a fever and only slightly raised temp feel different, we also should try that at times, keats

>>29553262
Stop feeding into my fantasies anon!

>>29554542
It's okay trepp, we all have times that we're out of it

>>29555805
Keaton you glorious bastard. I'd hold your hands if you were here.

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Good night thread.

>>29557367
It's noon

>>29557693
>what are timezones

>>29557018
>tfw when you will never have a yandere girlfriend that want you to breed her stupid
Bad feels man.

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>>29556956
It's a weakness of mine, I'll admit
Also, lewd.

That said, good morning, everyone!

>>29558121
you're not refusing anymore, that's good
good morning, keats

I need help with superhero names

>>29558137
I can help with this thing. What've you got?

>>29558164
>I can help with this thing. What've you got?
the yet unnamed rest of the gang
AJ, Rainbow, Rarity and Fluttershy

I'm not content with Pinkie as Ms. Believe, yet having it strange is kinda the point.
Twilight A was Matterhorn, and Twilight B was the Iron Mage
I think I'm quite okay with what I have for Rainbow and Fluttershy right now,
AJ and Rarity still cause me a headache

>>29558188
Ah, okay

>>29558216
>Ah, okay
that's not the answer I hoped for

>>29558431
Sorry, I'll admit to not having much of a thought on how to help.

>>29558188
Well, what are their powers/abilities?

>>29559506
AJ: super strength and durability
Rainbow: flight and speed
Fluttershy: flight and healing
Rarity: some form of telekinesis, creation of light constructs and shields

>>29559598
I might have a few ideas

>>29559641
There is a medical emergency on an airplane. The steward askes through the cabin: "Is there a doctor on board?" Treppahcs stands up, raises his hand and announces proudly: "Yes." Then he sits back down again.

do you want the whole forehead-to-the-carpet thing as I pray onto you to share your wisdom?

>>29559670
Nope.

AJ could be something like Striker
Futtershy could be Angel, Mercy or Medic. I've been playing Overwatch a bit too much.
RD's name could be Blur
As for Rarity, I see Crystal Light as a decent name

And yes I would do that Untitled

>>29559702
>Futtershy could be Angel, Mercy or Medic. I've been playing Overwatch a bit too much.

remember when I said I have something for Fluttershy? It was Mercy, and Sunset hadn't had the heart to tell her it's from a game where someone has the exact same powers.

>>29559780
I'm slowly going crazy from trying to write 3 stories at the same time and I'm just trying to be helpful

>>29559812
that hasn't happened yet, I just said here: >>29558188 that I have something for Fluttershy

>>29559812
We told you, you should have just focused on one story at a time.

>>29546683
nobody?

>>29559846
It's more of brainstorming at the moment

>>29559901
I mean, nobody's suggested anything.

>>29560092
a Spider-Shim origins story

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>>29560092
>>29559901
What about a story with Anon having pic related as a power, and Spider Woman mistakes him as another Carnage?

>>29560568
We were gonna have an Alex Mercer in pirate story I think but then we lost contact with Captain

>>29560920
I'm pretty sure it was just a random role and nothing was gonna come of it. Speaking of, did anyone save the link for the random power generator, my nerd needs to find something to do.

>>29560985
You mean this?
>powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random

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>>29561062
>Rainbow Fire Generation
aww yea

>>29561099
>Belief Dependent Physiology

I can work with that.
I look how I do because either I believe so or because someone else does. That's quite the double-edged sword.

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>>29561062
>Reactionary Immunity
We doomsday now.

>>29553240
>You take of running after them, careful not to draw too much attention to yourself
>You shouldn't be following that thing
>You know that much, it's dangerous
>But the way he just shook it off like nothing was kinda awesome
>Then turning into water made it even more awesome
>So you gotta talk to him... her... Ah whatever!
>What do you plan on saying? That's a good question
>You have no idea
>'Hey, water lady I think you are very cool!'
>Nah, that's stupid
>Maybe you should ask them their names first
>Kinda emberassing but you don't even know the guy's name since you didn't need to talk to him
>You know he's good with history, he challenges Miss Luna all the time
>However, you don't really listen to the class so... yeah
>It's strange that they didn't notice you by now
>Maybe it's because all the people running from a moving heap of water that's distracting them
>Either way, you are glad that they don't attack you, that would be scary

>Be Su
>You are well aware of the girl that's following you and so is Anon
>Shared information of senses and all
>You just lack a good response to the situation
>If you were just responsible of your own, you'd just kill her
>However, Anon doesn't want that and this is a world where killing of humans is a huge taboo
>Other ways of stopping her either requires you to halt your running or hurt her
>Both of which are for some reason not acceptable for Anon
>He's convinced about trying a diplomatic approach, which you find tedious
>Man knows how to get what he wants though
>He can deny you access to his body since you are an invasive consciousness
>He said no strawberry icecream ever again
>Yeah, you really like strawberry icecream
>It'll be a sad day when Anon dies and you return back to ethereal plane

>>29561062
Sweet.
>>29561159
oh shit...mama.

>>29561159
>doomsday
I'm sure we have some spare superman laying around

>>29561099
....do you shit rainbow fire like a unicorn?

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>>29561423
no, but I'm skilled at giving the oral treatment

>>29561340
Rainbow, there will be words.

>>29561432
I don't even...wat? Does that mean you will give rainbow burns on a dick when you blow them?, tone it down. Just get lipstick, a lot less painful...unless their into that.

>>29561340
The idea of interdimensional thought beings being jealous of mundane shit we have amuses me. I like to imagine shogoths trading secrets for M&Ms.

>>29561340
Really liking it so far.

>>29561452
it means
anal is yes, deepthroat is no

>>29561529
....that makes no sense whatsoever, you do know oral is with your mouth right?

>>29561543
where the dangerous rainbow stuff comes from

>>29561555
What are you even trying to say here? Are you having a stroke mid joke attempt?

>>29561579
maybe...
i'm bad at this

moving on

>>29561433
Check'd
>>29561463
>>29561479
Glad you guys are enjoying, I was gonna write another update but it's getting really late here, sorry.

I did update the pastebin though.

>>29561600
Fair enough.
>>29561606
Nice work, cant wait to see more.

He's saying he breathes rainbow fire, it doesn't come out his ass.

>>29561652
I know that, I made a joke, then his response just made it confusing as to what he was talking about.

>>29561600
good idea

>>29540508
>flattop M4 Carbine with XM177 suppressor and M203 grenade launcher
>also some kind of zipgun made by the slow kid in metal shop
>no spare ammo for either of them
>the perky Lunabewbies suggest she's not wearing body armor either

0/10 would not operate with tactically, but she does have my respect for using iron sights instead of an optic on the M4.

Sincerely, /k/

>>29562924
I know some of these words

>>29561062
>omnipotence
Now I know if you're going to finish your story or not.

>>29564432
This knowledge is not meant for human beings

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>>29564639
>implying anyone here counts as human

>>29564997
>intensity implyifies

bump from 9

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I'll see what I can do about getting some green posted when I get home from work.

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>>29540508
>When you're raving with the girls then remembered you left Anon on the roof.

>>29568581
Sunset will be give the cold shoulder and sleeping on the couch for awhile

>>29569333
Bad grammar, but understandable idea, TO THE COUCH HORSE GIRL! Also checked.

>>29561340
>As you slither and try to ponder a way to gain access to more strawberry icecream after Anon's inevitable death, you reach your destination
>Which would be Anon's house
>As you understand, it doesn't really belong to him, but rather his elders permit him to stay there
>You can't open the door in this form because it's locked
>The keys you need are in Anon's body along with his clothes and what all
>It's weird how this swapping thing works
>Your bodies are simultaneously bound to ethereal and material planes
>When Anon's body fades into ethereal realm your form is able to seep into the material world
>Because unlike ethereal world, two objects can't occupy the same space at the same time in material world
>Not without causing a rip in the dimension anyway
>Well, since you can't open the door, you just leak through the cracks and into the house
>Which turns those brain chunks you were carrying into mush
>Not that it matters, actually they might dissolve faster so it's a good thing
>You turn around and unlock the door, leaving it halfway open
>Since you are in the house you can stop now and wait for the girl to catch up
>She should come in any second now
>Yeah...
>Almost there...
>...
>Where is she?
>Did that idiot lost you after you left her eye sight?

>Be Rainbow Dash
>Water lady just went through the door
>You were just thinking about what to do when the door opened
>Is this an invitation? Did she know you were following her?
>Well, it would be stranger if she didn't know, but still...
>Should you go in? This is starting to get a bit too real
>Maybe you should just-
>The door swings open, halting your thoughts
>Water lady is looking at you behind the threshold
>You two just stare at each other for a while before she breaks the silence
>"Are you coming in or not? Stop wasting time."
>You should say something before she gives up on you
"H-Hey water lady, I think you are very cool!"
>Fuck

>>29569397
HYPE!

>>29569397
Nice update, but this line is a little jacked.
>Did that idiot lost you
try loose* instead of lost.

>>29569397
>You can't really tell the look on her face right now since she is transparent, but you'd imagine an annoyed one
>"You should have let me kill her." She says
>Maybe you should run
>"I'm inviting her in and she's just standing there"
>Who's she talking to?
>"After this, you are buying me that icecream. I don't care about For Honor"
>She then suddenly gushes towards you and lifts you up
>It's cold and wet and it makes you yelp, but before you can do anything you are inside the house, sitting on the floor
>"There, she's inside. You can talk to her or whatever." Water lady then shifts into a more familiar person
>"Hi." He says with a nervous smile
>You can't help but stare at his cracked and caved in forehead
>His nose is bent sideways and he's missing some of his teeth
>You must've seemed scared, you are scared, because he tries to calm you down
>"Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I just wanna talk." He raises his hand as a sign of non-agression. "You don't have to look at me if you don't want to," he adds, "I know I'm a mess right now"
>You did want to talk to him so this is your chance now
>You rise back on your feet while looking away
>It makes you feel faint seeing him this close
>Atleast he looks friendly
"I uh... I don't know your name" You mumble
>"It's Anonymous. Nice to meet you, Rainbow Dash, right?"
>You nod, unsure of how to proceed this conversation
>Thankfully he doesn't wait on you
>"And uh, you met Su or water lady as you called her." He lets out a nervous chuckle
>Awkwardness is palpable in the air
"What is she?" You ask. "What are you?"
>"She's a water elemental." He looks to the corner for a moment. "Or an essence as she wants to be called and me... Well, I'm dead. Kinda, but not really. It's a long story."
"Is that why you can still walk and talk with your head smashed to the pavement?"
>"Yeah, basically." You feel yourself getting a bit more comfortable
"So you turn into that woman, Su?" He nods. "Is she like, inside you?"

>>29569825
>"It's more that we occupy the same point on two different planes of existance."
"Yeah, I don't get it." He shrugges. "I think it was really awesome though! I thought you were done for, but you were all like, ' 'Tis but a flesh wound!' and then you turned into water, flowing through the streets while everyone is trying to run away and-"
>You realize that you are geting carried away
*Ahem* "Yeah, uh, it was awesome."
>"Thanks?" He says. "You've got some balls too, running after us like that. You know how hard it was to keep Su from killing you?"
>You both share a half-hearted laugh before silence falls once again
>This time you break it
"So, what will you do now?"
>He sighs, "I'm not sure, definitely not going to school after this though. I think I'll find somewhere to hide, atleast until this all blows over. My parents will be really worried, but there is not much I can do about that."
"So, where will you go?" You ask
>"I thought maybe I can find some abandoned building or something to stay and I can go out at night to buy food and stuff. I got a hoodie so it should cover my head until I heal."
>You have an good idea
>It's a bad good idea
>You shouldn't do it
>It's dangerous
"You could..."
>Don't do it
"...come to..."
>Oh, you MORON
"...my place."
>Nice work dumbass, you really did it this time
>"R-Really?" He asks. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, it's just me and my dad, and he works abroad so he rarely comes home." You start counting the benefits
>Because you are a dumbass
"That way you would have an actual place to stay and you wouldn't have to go out at all, I can get whatever you need!"
>"But... You just met me?"
>He's right, but you are commited to this now
"You didn't kill me, so I'd say we are off to a good start" You look at him and smile, but it doesn't take you long to turn away again
>Another short silence follows before he speaks
>"I'm gonna go get my stuff then"
"Yeah, I'm waiting"
>You have some interesting times ahead of you

>>29570186
Phew, done for now. Hope you guys like it

>>29569559
Yeah gonna keep that 'did'+'verb' interaction in mind. I think you meant "lose" btw

>>29569433
Check'd. Hope it was worth the HYPE!

>>29570211
It was worth the hype, also a check for you good sir.

>>29570211
I think I just dragged out the wording on lose/loose, not really sure which, I'm just sure lost wasn't the right word there.

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>>29570211
I'm loving the way that you are doing the world building in this.

>>29570186
Cant wait to see where this is going to go, I wonder what her dad will say when he sees a water possessed zombie in his house.

>>29569333
>>29570333
holy shit....WE SHARE DIGITS!

>>29570251
>>29570264
>>29570278
>>29570333 (Dem trips, check'd)
Glad you guys enjoy it. I love world building, it's one of my favorite things to do while writing

It definitely should've been lose instead of lost, you are right.

>>29566975
Slight correction to this, I'll have to post what I've got tomorrow night, had a coworker call in sick for tomorrow morning, going to have to work a double.

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>>29568581
>>29569333
"I can't believe you left me on a roof of a skyscraper. Again."
>"Anon I'm so so sorry I had a busy day with villains."
"And raving."
>"The gir-"
"Not hearing it."
>"I can make it up to."
"How can you make up for leaving me on a top of a skyscrap-"
>"I'll let you do anal."
>Anon does gif related.

I'll have an update for tomorrow

Page9

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>>29571529
"Sunset we already do anal and fairly frequently at that, I think Rarity knows what's going on and doesn't believe you when you ask her to repair your suit due to 'villian damage's."
>"But-"
"Exactly. Now I can think of a few things you can do to make it up to me."
Anon then leaves a dress out (pic related maybe) with a note telling Sunset to get ready and meet him at the address that was also on the note. It leads to a restaurant and Anon tells Sunset all he wants it one night on the town where Sunset forget all about superheroing regardless of what happens.They either have a magical night or Sunset can't sick to it and flakes to do her superhero thing and Anon gets a free pass for life.

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Sunset irl

>>29573836
10/10 would smash

>>29573836
Who?

>>29573877
I think that's the cosplayer from the shimmer thread?

>>29574266
So someone in another thread knew how to use edit tools and found a cam girl. What else is new?

>>29574266
>>29574274
Kek
I just saw it on /pol/ memeball thread and thought she looked like shimmer

>>29573495
Sunset would be fidgeting the whole time

>>29540508
>Sunset will never sing to you.
https://clyp.it/q5dz4aqe

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>>29574744

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>>29574744
Why must you do this?

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>>29574744

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>>29574744

>>29574744
>Implying any one would sing to me or anyone here
So I found the crazy person.

>>29540624
>Even through the still pressed atmosphere of Twilight- SciTwi's kidnapping, you manage to have fun with the girls.
>Most of the morning is spent coming up with names, be it for each other or the team.
>'Secretbolts' did seem to stuck, everything else seems quite contrived, and 'Secretbolts' does deliver the message of what it's supposed to be about.
>You're still Spider-Woman, Pinkie's Ms. Believe, and Princess Twilight (who is only a honorary member) has taken the name Matterhorn a while back.
>It was quite the story she told of being sucked through a fantasy-come-reality spell into a comic book where she had to take the role of a hero there.
>As that particular name wasn't known on Earth, she's able to use it.
>Her equestrian friends would have names as well, but everyone agreed that you might want to stay away from them.
>For one, there is still a possibility that they show up at one point, and they have dibs on those names, technically speaking.
>In addition to that, the names somewhat told a bit of the power too, yet the powerset they have had in the equestrian comic book, and the powerset that their Earth-versions have are different.
>The most similar one was Rarity who could create constructs of light which she can use as means of transportation or as shields.
>Well, maybe Applejack too, who is strong and would probably still be able to use a lasso, but not in any super-heroic way.
>When it comes to names she also was taken aback the most.
>As the leader she was urged to take on a military rank before any name, like captain.
>Yet she thinks it would be disrespectful to those who have actually worked to achieve such a title.

>>29575456
>The argument that in the hierarchy of the Secretbolts she was the leader and that they can take any titles they want didn't sit right with her either, but captain still stuck around.
>One can rarely choose their own nickname, and captain stuck around for her, while she had been jokingly been called every noun they could think of and have put 'captain' in front of it.
>Rainbow was forbidden to use 'Dash' as her name as it was already her name.
>'Captain Awesome' was instantly shut down by Applejack, while 'Miss Awesome' was only met with a 'oh, come on'.
>The one that suited her the most was 'Blitz', the German word for 'lightning', which was only a single syllable long and faster to say.
>Only the German-part of it put her off.
>She's also still somewhat pissed that she's not able to transform by herself.
>In her regular form, she was about as fast as your enhanced speed, but that was benign when it's compared to her transformed self.
>Fluttershy simply said she likes 'Mercy' and you had to have the heart to tell her that's a support character from a video game with very similar abilities.
>Then she simply switched to 'Grace', and you start to wonder why everyone else has such difficulties if it comes so natural and easy to Fluttershy.
>It took her about five seconds what everyone else has barely accomplished... well, ever since they started their crime-fighting.
>Rarity had only minor troubles as well.
>She's studying architecture, and she can make constructs of light she can use in various ways, even if they fade with time.
>She did, however, manage to craft a name.
>'The Architectress', claiming it was euphonious, snd that she liked the way the voiceless dental and velar when ending into two alveolar consonants...
>You lost her on the explaination of pronounciation as you know her nickname will end up being 'Archie'.

>>29575472
stupid untitled, learn how to start and end scenes properly

>>29575503
And your sentences, I mean what is this?
>Fluttershy simply said she likes 'Mercy' and you had to have the heart to tell her that's a support character from a video game with very similar abilities.
You goofed several times as well besides this.

No update on Lovecraftian Anon. It's on hiatus since i can't write anything for it

>>29576903
Fair enough mate, just get the stuff you can do for now out.

>>29576939
I will.

Any Ideas for a power-set for Zecora? I'm thinking either Storm or Etrigan.

>>29577785
I don't know Etrigan, but Storm could work.

>>29577812
He's a demon that was bound to jason blood. He also only speaks in rhyme.

>>29578046
Ehhh, to violent for Zecorea, Storm or some other witch doctor esq person would work.

>>29578100
Hmm. Maybe Papa Midnight?

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>>29578046
Ah, Etrigan.

He is bound by a spell that permits him only to speak in rhyming iambic pentameter.

He's also rather ultraviolent, in a 1990s comics darker-n-edgier kind of way, so I don't see him or anything about him being a good fit for poni.

On the other hand, a rap battle between Etrigan and Zecora could be hilarious.

>>29578139
That would be interesting

>>29576903
It's ok bro, we all have some hard time writing occasionally

>>29578229
muh body proportions

>>29579051
Thanks. I got ideas but they don't seem to go together

>>29580661
Make a bunch of post-it notes and put them on a dart board?

>>29581189
I tried that and the ideas were all jumbled up. for some reason I got spaghetti monster, inuendos, Dazzlings and curb stomp on the first try

>>29581266
I mean...it sounds entertaining? Maybe you should take a break and do a simple Tonic update.

>>29581277
yeah. you're right, now I need to see where I left off

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>>29540508
>"Hey Tiger, you want to ditch this lame dance and have some fun?"
Sunset meant swinging around the city.
Do you know how uncomfortable it is to swing around at 30 MPH with a boner?

>>29581953
Very, i would say

TIL around the same time "Captain America - Sam Wilson (2015-2017)" started, another comicbook called "Captain America - White (2015)" was a thing

>>29582301
Wat?

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>>29582756

>>29582777
HAIL HYDRA!

>>29582777
That's interesting. What's the story?

>>29583251
i have a lot to catch up on, I have yet to give it a read.
At the moment I indulged into Vote Loki, which was... fun?

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>>29540508
>You found Sunset's other secret.
>She gets teary-eyed watching her soap operas.

>>29583638
Not much of a secret

>>29584004
She tries to hide it from you.

>>29583638
Fuck yeah! Cookie Dough ice cream is amazing!

I'm not a robot

>>29584078
Poorly though but we don't make fun of her

>>29583638
>>29584803
>In the middle of a battle.
>Be tied up with Mysterio and Rhino.
>"All right Rhino you're going dow- Holy shit I'm going to miss Young and The Restless."
>"What? I thought it doesn't start until 12:30."
>"They changed the time slot to 11:30."
>"You want to call this off for now little spider?"
>"Meet at 2?"
>"Yeah, sounds good."
>"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRI- I mean- MYSTERIO MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO VICTOR!"
>All three of them go their separate ways.
>Be Anon.
>Still tied up.

>>29584910
Anon knows both of them, and when he gets cut down by the police, he goes over to their homes and rips them a new in the middle of the show. With silly string.

>>29584910
That's pretty believable

>>29587444
check em bumps
well, at least we never timed out in almost a whole year
remember, we have an anniversary coming up

>>29584910
I would rather be tied up than listen to the theme song to Young and The Restless again.

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>>29540508

>>29587900
Prom or a hero's ball? and are they fighting over who gets to be miss superhero 2017?

Gerdians!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJzo2b9GMGI
in case anyone missed it.