RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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>>29505398
Where is our Johnny and Crusader anon?

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>>29505408
Shit wrong pic.

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>>29505398
I want to marry Celestia and help with her royal duties.

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Poor Anon is depressed, it must be because he seems to be suffering from a kind of dysphoria where he thinks he's a mare and needs to be like a mare, when all he needs is to just be a quiet, reserved colt with no worries or expectations other than raising foals and being there for his mare.

>>29505398
Horse married means you have to dance to" that's my horse".

>>29505459
'Mare' and 'Man' are interchangeable in the RGRE context by the way, not meant to be tranny shit.

>>29504869
>>What can she do to stop this?

>celestia does the one thing she does best
>auntlestia powers ACTIVATE
>SUPER ALICORN FOAL SPOILING GO

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>>29505408
>be bull
>lay down and munch some grass while i watch this grass
>suddenly music
>lift my head lazily, look around
>see some crazy nigger sing me a song
>this gon be good
>moo in satisfaction
>dance

>>29505466
but the original goal was for anonymous to stop having super-powered babbies by giving his former-villain waifus his human seed

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>>29505523
Just give Celestia a bunch of foals so she's too busy fawning over them to be nosy.

>>29505459
>The other stallions in the town use him now as their clam-jamming fat friend when they take him out to the bar with them every week
>He's a really good line of defense, even better than the really marely colts they had before
>Until the day he was disarmed by a cutie patootie derpy hooves
>She wasn't aggressive, just forward
>Kinda clumsy, but genuinely interested in Anon
>She was a nice mare
>Anon leaves his friends to the wolves at the bar and takes her home

>>29505459

Vodka helps. Fucking candy-colored talking marshmallows.

>>29505549
>Vodka helps fucking candy-colored talking marshmallows.
FTFY

>>29505398

Shit, the M-word. Now you done fucked up.
Kiss happiness goodbye forever.

>>29505555 (checked)
don't worry, it won't be so bad so long as you don't run into any problems

>>29505555
U mad bro?

>>29505592
I get drunk so I don't get mad.

>>29505613
Want to get fuk?

>Anon and Pinkie Pie start dating
>All the stallions try to convince him to leave her, since he deserves so much better than that chubby weirdo
>He doesn't even notice; The subtext of their backhanded compliments flies right over his head

>"She's got so many friends. How can she spend the time together you deserve?"
"Yeah, her schedule can be a little hectic at times, but that just makes the time we spend together even sweeter."
>"You know, she is a little... Plump. Most stallions wouldn't give her a second glance."
"She could stand to lose a few pounds, but what do you expect? She works at a bakery."
"Besides, that thick earth pony muscles, with a little layer of fat... She's like a big cuddly pillow!"

>>29505695
Pinkie hears Anon with them and starts fluffing up her chest fluff to be the best pillow ever.

>>29505695
Fill that Pie with Cream

foal name: Cream Pie

>>29505711
a fluffy chested Pinkie with a small amount of pudge is all I could ever need in life

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>>29503645
>>29504061
>>29504638
>>29504710
>>29504755
>>29504857
>>29504869
>>29504953
>>29505008
it's all I could ever want, and everything I'll never have

hey guys been looking for a green that was apparently floating around these threads a while back, all I know about it is this:

Anon is a specially uncanny valley kind of ugly to ponies
His smell, and certain things about how he looks, he's too close to being like a pony, but not right; so instead of being able to see him as a weird animal, he's like a pony gone horrifically wrong.
Ponies are still friendly, because they're decent sorts, but they have to hold down their lunch if they look at or smell him too long.
Pinkie, however, has hit a dry spell, and hears from gossip that he's a virgin, so she goes over and says they can help each other out.
She (and therefore the Mane Six) discover the joys of human stamina and non-reversed gender roles male libido.
Several of them end up casually fucking, but Rainbow (attractive in this scenario) starts to do more intimate stuff without thinking about it. She'll stay the night, unlike the others who mostly leave. She'll be more affectionate than sexual, like nuzzling and rolling in his scent. She unconsciously offers up her wing for preening while they're watching a movie (a deeply intimate, trusting gesture). And she doesn't exactly realize what's happening until he mentions that he and Pinkie made plans to get busy after her birthday party this weekend, and she's suddenly incandescently angry.

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>>29505759
QUICKLY
I NEED MORE PIE NAME PUNS

PUNS FOR THE PUN GOD
GROANS FOR THE GROAN THRONE

>>29505832
FUCK YOU CARLOS!

>>29505832
Peace-O
QT
Occu
Pork
Sss

>>29505848
Thats the strangest pun I've ever seen

Updated prompt collection:
http://pastebin.com/GgD2Yvkv

I just realised that Pinkamena Diane Pie has an actual human middle name. Are the pies descendents of a human, or maybe it's somehow linked to Pinkie's fourth wall breaking...

>>29506242
Both?

>>29504540

Sorry, BNW, but I'm going to continue to imagine the characters how they first appeared in my brain, rather than by your "official" description.

I mean, really, Helga's whole role is a big tittied milk cow. I'm obviously going to imagine her with unrealistically gigantic anime boobs.

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>>29506242
You're thinking too much.

>>29506212
Y'know, we can make writing prompts until the cows come home but they're still kind of useless until somebody writes something

>>29506242
>Diane is the Roman goddess of the moon
>That would make her a moon Pie

>>29505555
Quads of truth confirm that marriage is the end of joy.

>>29505555
the quads don't lie

>>29505398
>"That's not where you put a dong ring, Nonners."

>>29505827
>Rainbow Dash realizing that she's slowly fallen in love with Big&Ugly

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>>29505827
I think this is what you're talking about.
http://pastebin.com/whKCGTZM

>>29506242
Rainbow's middle name is Miriam.

>Your husbando goes out into a snow storm to chop more wood for the fire while you were asleep
>When you ask him why he didn't wake you up so that you could go get some more wood, he just says "you were asleep".
>tfw your husbando doesn't trust your abilities as a waifu

>>29502999
>>29503127
>>29503308

>Anon is considered the RGRE version of a Yandere due to his fierce protectiveness of his waifu and foals.

>Anon brings a musical instrument with him to Equestria
>He ends up becoming a famous musician
>Despite the fact that he's just getting up on stage and playing music normally, he becomes something like the Equestrian equivalent of a J or K pop star
>Including the devoted, fanatical, cancerous fanbase
>When he starts dating a mare, his fans are up in arms
>He's supposed to stay pure for them, dammit!
>Since there's no internet to harass him or his slut over, a few of his most ardent fans decide to head to his hometown and try to preserve his precious virginity
>Hijinks ensue

>>29509647
something something fingers something something hooves suck shit at instruments

>Anon assumes Rainbow is gay and asks her how to get mares.
>Rainbow plays along because gay friend perks.


"Anon you don't have to stuff your thong."
>"Excuse me? This is all me, dash"
"No way, it's not even subtle. It's like there's a sausage stuffed in there."
>"Don't believe me? Feel for yourself."

>>29510024
>"C'mere, Anon."
"What is it?"
>"Pants off. Mares get weirded out if your junk smells weird, so I'm gonna get a whiff and see if you need to take a shower or something."

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Hey, I got more CrusaderAnon

>>29510214
>"Anon? Anon! We need to talk to you."
>You keep your eyes closed, your hands pressed together in humble prayer
>All around you sat this world's first generation of Christians
>They were the town's children, the ones who would spread god's word to the ponies of Equestria and beyond
>A task which, to your delight, they seemed to look forward to
>Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle in particular seemed filled with love for their new faith
>They had been the first ones to seek baptism, and it was they who now led your evening prayers, standing at one of your workbenches with the good book sitting between them
>These children were your flock
>A flock, you were sure, would continue to grow and grow until all knew of God’s love
>And just like you, every single colt and filly in your smithy ignored whoever had just barged in
>It was the Lord's time, and as such earthly matters were not of importance
>Unfortunately for all of you, the ones that had walked in the middle of your worship were determined to get your attention
>"Anon! ANON! Open your eyes! I KNOW you can hear me! Me and the fellas need to talk to you about something important!"
>The stallion speaking was Dr. Hooves
>You knew him as a very nice pony
>A little emotional at times, but so were most males here
>You could hear the stallion making his way toward your side with half a dozen or two ponies behind him
>You perked up slightly
>Perhaps something serious had happened...?
>You opened your eyes and looked at the unicorn, who stared back at you anxiously
"Good afternoon, my friends," you said as quietly as you could so as not to disturb Applebloom and her friends as they sung God's praise.
>Dr. Hooves took a step closer to you
>"Anon, we need to--"
>You raised a hand, silencing the stallion
"Please, I beg you to lower your voice," you asked. "The children and I are in the middle of our prayers."

>>29510230
>Dr.Hooves's muzzle scrunched up, as did the muzzles of a number of stallions standing behind him
>"That's why we're here, Anon," he said, his voice--thankfully-- lowered. "The fellas and I came together and we decided that we need to talk about all of the praying and stuff you do."
>You raised an eyebrow
>From what you've been told, Equestrian's knew no god, so you hadn't expected any problems when you began to preach of the Lord and his son Jesus Christ
>Had you mistaken what the princesses had said?
>Was there actually a false, heathen god in these lands?
>Was Dr. Hooves a follower of this false god, trying to stamp out the fledgling flower that was Christendom?
>Your body tensed at the thought
>You sincerely hoped not
>It was true that you had become very fond of your neighbors, but that did not mean you wouldn’t hesitate to defend your beliefs
"And what, might I ask, do you wish to speak to me about specifically?" you asked, a little more harshly than you intended
>Dr.Hooves looked over at the stallions, then back at you
>He sighed, taking a step forward and placing a hoof on your shoulder
>"Me and the guys are worried about you, Anon," he said. "Every single time we ask you to go out and do something you tell us no every time."
>"Yeah!" another stallion--quietly-- said with a frown. "You say that you have to pray or you can't because you're "not allowed"."
>You inclined your head
"My friends, it brings me joy each time that you think of me enough to ask to accompany you out for an evening, but I am being honest when I tell you that I'm far too busy for such things."
>"That's a load of horse apples!" Dr. Hooves said with a stomp of his hoof. "Can't you skip one of your dumb prayers to come go out and do something with us?"
>All around you the children gasped
>Many of their eyes snapped open, and their heads turned toward the group of stallions with looks of incredulity

>>29510237
>You could feel a bit of indignation welling up inside of you from them calling your prayers stupid, but you ignored it
>They did not deserve your anger
>To a man, they did not know of Christ and his love for them
>If anything, you should pity these poor souls and do your best to bring them into God's light
"My friends, it is my calling, my duty, and my purpose in life to praise the word of God as the Holy See wishes," you said. "I understand that you may see my practices as different or strange, but I tell you that they are as essential as breathing."
>"But all you do is pray and work!" Dr. Hooves said, his voice rising a bit. "We understand that you love this God guy, but all of this work and no play is bad for a stallion!"
>Thunderlane, looking at you in concern, stepped out of the crowd
>"You need to have a little fun, "Non," he said. "Go out dancing, have a couple of cute mares buy you drinks. For Celestia’s sake, you won’t even go out shopping with us when we ask!"
"I cannot," you said, bowing your head a little more
>"You can," Dr.Hooves insisted. "You can, and we're going to take you out even if it kills us!"
>Caramel, looking like he was about to cry--an expression which he almost constantly wore-- also stepped out of the crowd
>"If you keep working like this you're going to end up old and alone and with nopony to look after you," he said, sniffling. “Even though some of us think you’re a weirdo, we still want you to find somepony, Anon.”
>You found yourself smiling
>Ignorant or not, they meant well...
"I thank you for your concern friends," you said. "But that's where you're wrong. I will never be alone. The Lord and his son, who died for our sins--"
>"Praise be his name," the children said, making the sign of the cross
"Are with me forever and always."
>The stallions didn't seem to take your words positively, their noses scrunching up even more and their cheeks puffing out

>>29504710
>>29504734
>>29504964
Ah, yeah. So work's got me in line for promotion, and then I've started a company on the side, so now I do that nights and weekends. It literally has nothing to do with the chat - other writefriends can confirm, I'm semi-ded in there too.

Also sorry for interrupting LAP-sama

>>29510254
>"We know that Rarity made you a nice outfit that you have sitting in your closet," Caramel said. "I don't care what you say, or what your dumb god says, we're going to--"
>"BLASPHEMY!" Sweetie Belle roared, slamming one of her tiny hooves against your workbench. "God is the lord of all! The creator of all that is seen and unseen! He is not STUPID!"
>The stallions jumped at the outburst, their eyes widening as they looked at the filly, who looked none too happy
"Sweetie, be at peace," you gently said.
>"It is right to praise him, to spread his love and light to everypony and everything," Sweetie Belle continued
>"She's right," Scootaloo said, raising a hoof in the air. "God wills it!"
>"God wills it!" the children yelled, causing the stallions to jump again
>Applebloom frowned
>"Ya can't keep sayin’ that every time that Applebloom says somethin’, Scootaloo," she said
>Scootaloo's nose scrunched up
>"I DON'T say it every time Applebloom says something!"
>"Ya do too!"
>"Do not!"
>"Then why did ya say it twenty times while we was prayin’?"
>"I didn't say it twenty times!"
>Ya did too! I even counted!"
>"WE SHALL SPREAD GOD'S LOVE TO ALL!" Sweetie boomed, throwing her hooves up into the air. "AND IF THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT HIS LOVE WE SHALL FALL UPON THE HEATHEN AND THE NONBELIEVER WITH FIRE AND SWORD!"
>You and the group of stallions looked at each other in concern
>...
>Perhaps Sweetie Belle had taken to the faith a little too fervently...
"Sweetie, be at peace child," you said
>"THE KINGDOM OF JERUSALEM SHALL OPEN UP THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN!" the unicorn continued, her eyes wide and wild as she slammed a hoof against the table once more. "SIN, GREED, ENVY, SLOTH, THESE SHALL SLIP AWAY AND THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH!"
>"God will it!" Scootaloo chirped, ignoring the look that Applebloom gave her
>"GOD WILLS IT!" the children replied
>...
>Alright...

>>29510267
>Maybe that was enough prayer for today...
>You found yourself standing up
"Sweetie Belle, child, come here."
>"THE SARACEN WILL BE DRIVEN BACK! THE HOLY ROADS WILL BE SECURED! GOD'S GLORY WILL BE KNOWN TO ALL!"
>Scootaloo opened her mouth, but Applebloom booped her nose
>"Hey!" the pegasus said, covering her nose with her hooves as she glared at her friend. "What was that for?!"
>"Ya know what that was fer," Applebloom said, as Sweetie foamed at the mouth and shook
>"You're a butthead ‘Bloom."
>"No, yer a butthead!"
>"No you!"
>"Naha! Yer the butthead!"
>"You are!"
>"No, ya’ll are!"
>"GOD IS GREAT! PRAISE BE WITH HIM AND HIS SON!"
>All around you, the children began yelling and screaming and hollering
>Applebloom and Scootaloo began to shove each other
>Sweetie fell to the ground, screaming in latin
>Where the child had learned latin you hadn't the foggiest idea--the bibles that you had given the children had been translated into their language and you made it a point to pray with them in English-- but that still didn't stop her from screaming it at the top of her lungs
>...
>Lord preserve you...
>Not again...
>Sighing, you placed a hand on Dr. Hooves's head
"As you can see my friends, my work is in far more than simple prayer. I must also see to my flock."
>"DOMINE DEUS, AMO TE SUPER OMINA ET PROXIUM MEUM PROPTER TE, QUIA TU ES SUMMUM, INFINITUM, ET PREFECTISSIUM BONUM, OMNI DILECTIONE DIGUM. IN HAC CARITATE VIVERE ET MORI STATUO!"
"It is, as you can see, a full time job..."

>>29510278
Alright, I'm done

>>29505169
>(with the exception of LaP seeing as he isn't in that shitpit),

Anon-kun... LAP's been in the Discord since almost day 1.

>>29510290
Excellent green! Pls continue thing

>>29510290
This is retarded but great.

>>29510290
He'll turn the crusaders into Crusaders yet.

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What is the RGRE equivalent of /ss/?

>>29510515
Straight Loli? /sl/?

>>29505759
I got the idea in my head that anon is introduced to a little filly of the pie family named cream pie
Miles away tree huger can feel the vibes of anons internal screaming

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>>29510151
>"Anon, you need to make sure that a mare will stick with you even after the first time having sex. I can teach you how."
"Ok, how would I do that? Buy her flowers and listen to her a lot?"
>"No, you need to be the very best at 'giving her face.' Don't worry, I'll teach you all about that as long as you're willing to practice."

>Anon is hired by Filthy Rich as a nanny
>Anon's duties are house cleaning, meal cooking, and making sure that Diamond Tiara doesn't kill herself or sneak out or whatever
>Diamond Tiara has gone through nearly a dozen nannies, half of which try to steal from her family
>Imagine her surprise when Anon goes above and beyond his duties as nanny and actually cares about her
>Makes sure she does her homework, plays with her when she's bored, makes sure she eats enough during meals, etc
>Diamond Tiara crushes hard on Anon
>DT's her usual bitchy self at school, but her personality does a complete 180 when Anon comes by to pick her up

>>29510278
I don't know Latin, what is she saying

>>29510237
>"You say that you have to pray or you can't because you're "not allowed"."

'not allowed.'

>>29510261
Discordfag still won't believe you, though.

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ayoooo

https://www.equestriadaily.com/2017/02/new-pony-movie-character-revealed.html

>>29510944
>Canon Hippogriffs
Holy shit.

>>29510944
lazy writers going full retard and trying to ride the coattails of Zootopia.

>>29510988
>Pony movie
>"Canon"

>>29511050
>officially produced by the real company using canon characters in the canon universe
>not canon

Explain to us how this works in your mind without using the term "autism barrier."

>>29510669
I need it

>>29510760
My latin is a little rusty.

--------------------------------------------------------------------ur a faget---------------------------------------------------------

>>29510760
"O Lord God, I love you in charge of the Man and companions' sake, for the sake of you, for you are the highest, infinite and prefectissimus Good, and of all my love the prodigal. In this love I intend to live! "

can one of you writefags add this to the gdoc?
http://pastebin.com/TQjnJfxX

would anons here REE if i wrote a zecora waifu RGRE green and didn't have her rhyme?

>>29510661
Hey this isn't bowling, this is cunnilingus!

Wait, HerdAnon and OG Mudpone are gone? Good riddance.

>>29511529
Yeah, because it shows laziness. There's plenty of websites out there that gives you rhymes. Just look them up.

>>29511529
You can't write her without a rhyme.
For you see, she does it all the time.

>>29511529

>Zecora normally rhymes
>It's tradition for Shamans
>But when she's in private with a trusted lover, she can relax and talk normally
>For Love has a language all it's own

>>29507830
>Realizes Big&Ugly fucks better than any pornstar she's heard of.
Small price to pay.

>>29510214
FUCK YEAH!

>>29511529
You don't want to rhyme?

>>29511635
see, this I agree with.

On the subject of Zecora:

>Moonman arrives in Equestria.
>Still super racist, but drops mad rhymes all the time
>Zecora has the weirdest hate boner

>>29511529
Man write whatever you want. What kind of autist would actually get upset over Zecora not rhyming

>>29511901
you under estimate autists here.

>>29511529
do it.

>>29511901
its an essential part of her. I mean, if you write rarity as a hick, pinkie as a suicidal depressive and AJ as a soulless business mare, are you even writing the right characters?

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>>29510669
>>29511107

>>29506242
I spend way too much time thinking about pony naming traditions.

Personally, I'm putting it on weird rock farmer idiosyncrasy.

Rainbow Dash does talk about having a "middle name", though it's obviously a kind of joke (Rainbow "Danger" Dash).


>>29505827
Yeah, this >>29508043 is all that was written. The part with RD falling in love was a kind of prompt, I think somebody wrote it as a continuation idea?

>>29510669
I too, need this, though I want her to stay kind of tsundere.

>"It's not like I'm letting you pet me because I like it, you looked like you needed to calm down, yeah, that's it."

>"As your reward for your barely adequate service that still exceeds all my other live in nannies, you may attend me in the bath."
>her blushing intensifies

>>29510661
I can't decide if it'd be funnier or not for Anon to have caught on to the game.

>>29511529
I wouldn't REE but I would judge you.

>>29511635
Yeah alright.

>>29511887
Even better.

>>29505695
an alternative take on Pinks

>Pinkie is not chubby
>Not even a little bit
>For an Earth Pony, she looks just barely better than an anorexic.

>This is decidedly suboptimal for Party Horse
>What stallion would want a mare with no flanks to speak of?

>No matter how hard she tries, she just can't seem to gain any weight
>Ponk needs badonkadonk!
>And she just can't get it.

>Twilight is convinced that her reality warping magic must consume truly massive amounts of calories to explain how she can eat several times her body mass worth of sweets in a single sitting, and have nothing to show for it.

>>29512502
she just needs some high energy protein shakes.
ifyouknwowhatiamsubtlyimplyingmygoodfreindwinkwinknudgenudgewahoo

>>29511635
this would be alright but it should be used sparingly rather than a plot point for lazy writing

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Big, dominant mares.

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>>29512678
Small, submissive mares.

>>29512545
saynomore, mygoodfriend, saynomore...

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>Being tall and slender with a defined face is seen as the one of the hallmarks of regal beauty.
>Meaning that alicorns are the most desirable pony race by far.
>In comes you, now the tallest being in Equestria.
>Add that to your long limbs, your relatively narrow profile, and your foal-like face (small yet defined facial features.) and ponies look at you like humans look at alicorns.
>Majestic, yet adorable in an otherworldly way.
>You may not fill a few other things that ponies find attractive, but being exotic makes up for much of that.
>Can't take even 10 steps outside before ponies crowd around.
>Even the most macho mares become shy yet are still compelled to vy for your attention.
>Stallions practically mow each other down to get close and enthusiastically try to befriend you, like how girls in highschool form a clique around the pretty girls.
>You're not real sure how to take it.

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>>29512794
I remember this prompt, and I still like it.

I have an idea for some green that I've been thinking on for awhile now. The RGR is kinda light in the beginning but it will have it. Just need to figure out the format for posting it. Is there like an official/standard for it or a link for it?

>>29512794
>Get rich easy just off modeling.
>Roll with an entourage of fabulous stallion friends.
>Be the legendary beauty invited to all the most prestigious gatherings in Canterlot.
>Always at least one magazine with you on the front.
>Find an eager waifu or two.
>Have handful of foals.
>Live a life of glam.

>>29512931
Sounds like hell for someone more solitude inclined.

>>29509402
Her middle name is Danger dummy

>>29512973
But anon
>Danger dummy
is two words

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>>29512931
>>Find an eager waifu or two.

>>29512991
Yeah
Rainbow Danger dummy Dash.
DYEWTS?

>>29513012
>Model Anon
>Fleur Dis Lee is grooming him for life as a professional model
>Little does he know she's also grooming him to be a model husband
>She hopes to have him on the cover of HorsepunVogue in six months, and preparing meals, cleaning her home, and pumping her womb full of foals in eight

>>29513112

Living the dream.

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Does it make me a fag if I just want to brush a mare?

>>29512921

I might have misunderstood the question but I'll answer anyway. Stuff is mostly posted as regular greentexts but LaP has posted stuff in a "regular" way. One or two anons REEEEEEd when that happened.

>>29513112
i bet you didn't know I could pronounce Eugoogly did you?!

>>29512794
>>29512931
My social phobia's would make this a mixture wonderful and hellish.

>>29512678
>>29512731
A herd containing both of them.

Remember when every thread REEd about JohnnyBgood 24/7?
Good times.

>>29513634
That was months ago. Why are you bringing it up now? The scatfag is gone and the thread is safe.

>>29513634
>>29513681
I've been away from this thread for a while.
Are you saying Chuck Berry is into scat?

>Mare is frustrated when she tries to be the big spoon and Anon is too big

>>29514051
>Mare is big enough to be the big spoon and she lightly humps Anon's butt at night

>>29514083
that's gay

>>29514106
>The mare is also a stallion

>>29514118
stop being gay

>>29513608
nah, you'd be rich enough to be a diva about it. you could make them only allow so many people to meet you at once, or to have only so many people in the studio. at parties you'd be in the corner with a group of trusted friends/bodyguards, and only those you picked you be able to talk to you.

>>29512678
>>29512731
A mare to cuddle fuck under a blanket on a cold day.

>>29514237
>Cuddle a pegasus mare.
>Hug her tight.
>Slip arms between her wings and her sides for double warmth.

>>29514163
You say that but...
>Can't take even 10 steps outside before ponies crowd around.
This fella >>29512794 doesn't agree and my post was in response to that situation.

>>29514254
Not even your marefriend - just a random pegasus you found that was in arm's reach.

>>29512921
If you're talking about how to format green, no guide, not even in (currently dead for some reason you lazy asses) Writefags' Guild.
You're just kind of expected to pick up on it. Which probably explains why so many people have errors, now that I think about it.

Second person, usually present tense.
Line containing speech by viewpoint character is in plaintext; all other lines, speech or not, are greentext (preceded by a quote arrow).
You can put more than one sentence on a line, but don't get carried away and make full paragraphs per line.
Most people don't put any extra line breaks anywhere, but some people liked to.

Minor point, this just looks ugly if you do it wrong: remember that if you use a spoiler, the part after the spoiler no longer appears as green, so it should be the last thing on the line.

Make sure you announce that you're about to begin a green, and announce when you've finished, so people are less likely to interrupt it.

>>29514299
....I'm fine with waifuing Derpy

>>29514361
I'll bet her pussy tastes amazing.

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>>29514237
>>29514254

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I think she wants you to follow her

>>29514413
Okay...lets follow her.

>>29514401
>>29514413
>why_not_both.beaner

>>29513825
Johnnybgood was a new writefag who wrote a story where Bonbon was a secret agent tasked with assassinating Anon. When he linked his pastebin, it was full of scat stories. There was a shitstorm, pun not intended.

>>29514255
>not paying for crowd control around your own home
>not riding in a completely covered carriage everywhere to add mystery
>continuing to live like a pleb and deal with pleb problems
well, being a retard really can make any life miserable.

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>>29514237
>>29514254
>>29514401
Truly, this is all I want out of life, yet cannot have.

>>29514488
He's really up in that mare

>There are no mom jokes in RGREquestria
>But there are dad jokes
>but they're not funny or groaners, though
>"Oh yeah, well your dad fucked me last night!"
>"I'd be mad, but I'm still feeling the afterglow of sitting on your dad's face for a couple hours"
>"I can't hear you with all your dad's cum sloshing around in my gut/pussy/stomach."

>>29513634
>>29513681
>>29513825
But that agent Bon-Bon story was entertaining and his fetish wasn't pouring over into that story, so it's a shame that faggots here REEEE'd him away from writing. This is why we can't have nice things.

>>29512678
i wish we could have a story like that, but I think some of the anons here would REE any writer into the /mmp/ thread.
>>29514521
i think i'm going to wait until i have my entire story written out before posting it, since I have some weird stuff in my pastebin, stuff I wrote for threads on /trash/

>>29514542
Be safe and make a new pastebin.

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>>29514498
Are you saying you wouldn't be? Because she would.

>>29514560
but i'm out of email addresses

>>29514570
Make one up then. If we don't know your sins like the shit guy, then there wont be any problems. Maybe.

>>29514503
That's not very classy, anon. Did people really say yo-momma type jokes in the late-Victorian era?

>>29514360
Thank you! I appreciate your help.
I'll be sure to format correctly and complete my chapter then before posting.

>>29514568
What's Lyra doing so close to that man's crotch, Anon? She's suspiciously at dick-sucking position.

>>29514590
well they certainly didn't talk about sex and relationships like most RGRE stories do either

>>29514568
Damn, Lyra has got some cake in that pic.

>>29514590
Man, half of Shakespeare is people insulting each other's mothers.

>>29514637
it's been edited to remove the cock coming out of his pants and into her mouth, and his hand is up like that because he's smoking while getting his dick sucked in public by lyra because she's a desperate humanboo whore.

>>29514644
Link?

>>29514640
What are you talking about anon? I don't see any Cake, just a unicorn.

>>29514680
it's on the booru, just look up the right tags

>>29514728
I think he means she's got a big booty.

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>>29514793
>Other mares give Lyra shit for having thicc breeding hips.
>She ignores them. She knows what, or rather WHO her strategic weight gain is going to attract.
>And sure enough, the mares who made fun of her have to eat their words when Lyra finds herself the sole recipient of a certain biped's affection.

>>29514839
The clever girl gets the dickings.

>>29514793
I don't see a bird, let alone a big one. Are you messing with me?

>>29514839
Christ. What horrible accident did she had to suffer to have dicks as replacement limbs?

>>29510261
We know and understand. Ignore the children complaing saying the chat killed you. They don't know that bills exist yet.

>>29514839
lyra a cute

>>29514893
if your dick looks like that you should probably see a doctor, anon

>>29510297
Brand... Let the faggot whine, it's all he's good for.

>>29514942
yeah, 10% of the writefags trapped in that cesspit manage to make greens, that means they all do!

>>29514361
Forget smug mama Dash, I want smug mama Derpy.

>>29514969
Don't bother, wait to gloat when their fuck up for letting it continue bite them in the ass. It will be funnier that way.

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>>29514839
I would take Lyra and make her mine.

>>29514979
>>29514969
Wait, there's multiples of you?

>>29514976
Derpy has a super baby with Anon, while she walks around with her napping child on her back she looks ALL those that picked on her in the eyes and says, see this, this is my fluffy buddle of perfection. The baby is healthier than Flurry heart. And whenever Derpy talks about her baby and Anon, she manages to focus her eyes into a Flutterbutter tier glare.

>>29514989
Not everyone is dumb enough to think a Discord is a good thing, what a shock.

>>29511558
Wait, what? Who said I died? I still write. I just don't use my trips for all oneshots as people will believe it is more than a oneshot.

>>29514999
It's just, usually there is only one anon who is Tumblr level triggered about it.

>>29515008
Its more people don't want to acknowledge facts than anything else, or they don't notice it yet.

>>29514989
>>29515012
yes, we should just ignore the fact that writefags stop writing when they join the discord chat, forever trapped in a cycle of discussion, criticism, and rewrites until they lose the motivation to post the green they were working on, or they keep the discussion they would have in the thread in discord instead.

it's definitely not acting against the interest of the RGRE thread at all. nope. certainly not acting as a second RGRE thread that performs all the functions of an RGRE thread but with namefagging. as long as you come back here calling everyone stupid or triggered for pointing out reality you'll be fine.

>>29515012
Again. The discord chat is for writing corrections and opinion on how to make the story better, ONLY! No talking other than writing related. Just writing and help to make the story better for people in the thread. That's it. It goes in the discord. Writefriends check it for spelling errors and how to make it better FOR THE THREAD. Then they post it. The end. How much more clear can I be before you stop shitposting? The discord has been up for months and the thread is STILL alive.

>>29515068
Just ignore the dumbass apologists b8>>29515084
this fucker isn't worth it. LaP isn't using the Discord and is keeping it going with a few randoms that don't use it too. Damn shame they aren't as prominent, but that just means they wont leave.

>>29515008
>>29514989
Probably a samefag or two autistic faggots who seem to think discord chat is some demon murderer of writefriends.

>>29515084
>>29515068
>>29515091
At this point, it seems that both sides are equally delusional.

>>29515102
...that doesn't make any sense.

>>29515091
> >>29515084 says what the chat is and the rules.
>"Haha, i-it's bait! And I know my writefag doesn't use it!"
>"Yeah I'm not in the chat but I just know because i said so!"
Keep shitposting faggot.

>>29515108
Well, both sides feel that they are 100% correct, even though there's no guaranteed statistics that prove one or the other side of the argument. Now that I think about it, it's kind of like debating whether God is real or not.

>>29515084
>writing corrections and opinion on how to make the story better
what benefit does doing it in discord have over doing it in the thread? why must you deprive other potential writefags of witnessing the refinement of a story in the thread and instead keep it behind closed doors? are the people in discord self-proclaimed gatekeepers now for every established writefag?
this isn't fimfiction. your story doesn't need to be perfect the first time you post it, and if you put it in a pastebin account paste, you can edit it afterwards. you're not going to get upboats or downboats. just post it.
idiots like this >>29515102 who are too dumb to see the redundancies in function that both a discord and a thread present just throw up their hands like a moderate and claim both sides suck.

>>29515125
Well by one sides stand point with how long the discord chat has been up all our writefags should be dead.

>>29515133
Except the ones that don't use, so damn weird, the ones that stay out of it actually post. Such a conundrum isn't it?

>>29515127
Writefriends aren't forced to use it. Shit I think most writefriends aren't in the chat. If they join they join if they don't they don't. Who cares we still get content.

>>29515157
Not as much as we should, what with the so called, cant do no wrong writefags that left for the chat, how weird is that?

>>29515146
>The ones that stay out still post.
>BNW
>LaP
>The ones that join stop.
>HerdAnon
>OG
>Amp
>None of them joined. Yet quit posting.
Again, it's the beginning of the year, people have more work and finals to do. They stop for a bit because they are too tired to write a good story. People have lives.

>>29515176
Who left for the chat?

>>29515179
>inb4 "Conflating having a life with Discord shitpit"

>>29515179
Why does everyone think I'm dead?

Why does this keep happening.

Why can't all autists just be gassed already.

>>29515247
>Waaa where's my safe space waaaah

>>29515241
Because you do nothing but shitpost while here and using your name, instead of writing. Get on that.

>>29515265
>>29515001

>>29515275
He isn't using his name then now is he dumbass. Pay attention to the sentence before showing your age.

>>29515264
Like you, step into a chamber.

>>29515241
because you haven't posted anything since 10/26/16

>>29515344
He's kind of a point there, that's almost 4 months

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You're an exotic alien colt, beautiful and mysterious. Of course you'd play hard to get.
You're not rejecting the pony, you're not saying 'no', you're just giving them a challenge. And that makes it even better for them.

>>29515436
>beautiful
Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

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Finally, RGRE is Burning and Crashing

fimfiction story with some substantial RGRE undertones:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/319260/twisted-fate

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>>29515506
why don't you lurk this thread more often instead of just drive-by shitposting? we have a discord REE-fest almost every day around this time.

go back to marinating in the stagnant swamp that is AiE

>>29515506
How? Why is everyone talking doom and gloom? We're doing business as usual as far as I can tell.

just to counter the shitpostings

can we have a green where RGRE is the primary focus? not like haveing RGRE with something on top that would be the prime focus

a sort of slice of life

OR

something along the lines of crusader anon but with the stallion warhorses like Destrier , the medieval knights main mount instead

>>29505546
>>Until the day he was disarmed by a cutie patootie derpy hooves
>>She wasn't aggressive, just forward
>>Kinda clumsy, but genuinely interested in Anon
>>She was a nice mare
>>Anon leaves his friends to the wolves at the bar and takes her home

I would love to read this story.

>>29515541
Read this>>29515537
its just another jealous shitposter sad his general died.

>>29515533
the author's openly admitted he doesn't watch the show

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>>29515537
>>29515541
Truly, RGRE will Live Forever

>>29515547
you're going to have to be way more specific than that, and the first idea doesn't do much for a story. if you want something that blatantly focused on RGRE, read xenophilia, then return here when you realize just how much better our writefags are

>>29515567
SHOTS FIRED! Hell, even our retake on the OC faggot used was better than the writers.

>>29515567
>read xenophilia
Ignore that part.

>>29515567
did read xenophilia, the first one was good but the spin offs were pretty shit

im just tired of the focus being just almost purely on anon

>>29515577
did you even read the whole post?

>>29515593
check the gDoc and read a few of the pastebins. ask around for something specific if you want suggestions on where to start. our writefags have even somewhat redeemed EqG, too.

>>29515594
Even if he didn't he's still correct.

>>29515600
yeah, LaP's sunsettwi was good

but EQG really messed it for me despite the fact

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>>29515632
the only way it messed it up for me is hurting me even more because it was closer to home and yet so very far away

i love this thread and I love these stories, but they hurt me as much as they soothe me.

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>>29515647

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>>29510290
Atleast make a pastebin for it and link it

>>29515647
That feel.

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>>29515668
oh boy here we go again.
watch this video and reconsider attention-whoring:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgHNtzxO0y8

Where is our Johnny?

>>29514643
This.

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Why aren't you sleeping? You should be sleeping.

>>29515814
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuovmL_jdt0
>"Oh hi Johnny, I didn't know it was you."

>>29515993
Insomnia is a bitch.

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>>29516002
Sounds like you need a Sleep-Pony™, guaranteed to give you a restful sleep.

>>29515555
A bunch of authors have said that and I can't tell if they're trolling or not.

It's such a fun show too.

>>29515593
It is kind of notable, there's a lot of Anon in greentext. To the point here some anons find Anon-less greentext strange, and frog screech at it. And RGRE isn't a big thing outside of this thread.

>>29516047
RGRE specifically isn't that big outside this thread, but there's quite a few stories on the >fanfiction site with similar elements. There's even a few groups that collect those stories under "matriarchy" or "xenophilia rules" that have a few hundred entries.

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>>29515993
>>29516007
the pain in my heart keeps me awake, and the cure does not exist.

>>29515993
I'm a britbong I've already slept

>>29505398
how do poners even use rings?

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>>29515993
Because we're busy Making America Great Again!

>>29516416
.....so slowly killing it with cancer? I have to agree with you then.

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>ywn get flutters to shamefully admit to all the sex toys she has
>ywn rock her world when you tell her you are gonna use them on her
>ywn push in her buttplug

>>29516148
>The nice mares who keep finishing last finally get their reward.

>>29516534
>Ywn get her to admit she likes to cosplay as characters from her Animoo comics
>Ywn fuck her while she's dressed as one of the characters
>Ywn blow your load inside her while she screams "oni-chaan!" or some other weeb shit

>>29516534
>ywn push in her buttplug
>ywn push in the buttplug with your waist as you spread her pussy on your dick
fixed.

>Be buzzed Anonymous, and your friends are retards
>You are standing in one of Ponyvilles more rustic bars on a Saturday, and the place is reasonably busy
>Rainbow Dash and Applejack are both drunk and have been arguing about sports for half an hour now
>Your interests have obviously expanded beyond internet and videogames since your stay here in Equestria, but sports still don't grab your interest
>You've just been standing next to them, sipping your drink and teasing beta mares with salacious looks and poses
>'Yeah daisy, look at me. Let me just stretch right heeere-"
>Oh fuck something bumped into you and you spilled your drink!
>Oh no, it was your retarded friends, and their argument has escalated into a fist fight
>This isn't the first time this has happened, and it wont be the last
>shit, they do this sober sometimes
>but drunk fighting in the middle of the bar is likely to get you thrown out
>Not to mention the little pones don't know their strength when drinking and you don't want them to hurt each other too bad
>Fast healing or not Rainbow Dash was limping for days after her last pounding
>Giggity
>Welp, you'd better step in about now and break them up
>You step closer to the two of them, who are currently on the floor, rainbow dash is on top straddling Applejack
>Hot
>As you lean down to pick Rainbow Dash up you feel your head start to spin, and you realise you may have had slightly more than you intended to drink
>Almost losing your balance for a moment your hand lands on Rainbow's shoulder and you realise you've lingered close a bit longer than you should have
>You Know what's about to happen now
>"Hey get offa me!"
>She's about to blindly swing behind her and hit you in the fa-
"OW FUCK!"
>You stumble back into the bar clutching your face, cursing your weak liver under your breath
>Alright time for try two

>>29516584
>But before you can step forward again you see a yellow mare speed in outta nowhere and sucker punch Rainbow Dash in the side of the head
>"We don't take kindly to Stallion beaters here, cunt."
>A cheer comes up form the table the mare was sitting at, but you aren't paying attention to them
>This bitch DID NOT just sucker punch one of your best friends in front of you
>As Applejack rolls to her hooves and gets into a fighting stance she spots your face and her eyes go wide
>The Mare begins to turn towards you
>"Are you alright M'Lord- WHOAH!"
>You pick up the mare, lifting her up over your shoulder, and fall backwards...
>...Theres a moment of dead silence in the bar...
>...and you slam her face directly into the counter behind you
>You let go of her and immediately get back up from the ground
>She's not so lucky, and is rolling on the floor clutching her head
>You turn to her friends at her table and point down at the mare
"Get your shit and get out. And Don't fuck with me or my friends ever again."
>There's a scramble as the ponies get down from their stools and drag their groaning friend from the bar, ears downturned and looks of fright and confusion on their faces
>"Holy shit Anon that was awesome!"
>"Didn't know ya had it in ya sug'."
>You rub the back of your head sheepishly as Rainbow Dash and Applejack Both sit back in their stools and turn to you
"I probably shouldn't have done that. I blame the bourbon. Always get a little too aggressive after drinking bourbon."
>"Psshh, she had it coming. And that move was totally awesome. I've never seen a Stallion do something like that before."
>She's about to turn back to her drink when she notices the side of your face and winces
>"Oh, and sorry about hitting you Anon. I was pretty caught up because Applejack was being so wrong."

>>29516588

>Applejack elbows her in the ribs and they almost start scuffling again before you lean over and flick the both of their ears
"Stop it. And we're cool Rainbow, I knew stepping in like that wasn't exactly safe. Just buy me a drink. Also Rainbow, while you're at it you should grab a glass of ice for your face, she hit you pretty hard and your eyes already swelling."
>"Aaaww, there's the stallion caring for his mares like a good lil' husband."
"Applejack I will smack the accent off you."

Just some low quality green for the thread. Had the idea of Anon stepping in and wreacking a whiteknight mare and decided to write something out rather than just leaving a prompt. Kind of sputtered out towards the end though and didn't know quite how to wrap things up. Should plan these things instead of just going balls to the wall.

>>29516596
>Anon hangs out with marely mares and gives whiteknights and beta-orbiters what they have coming.

T'was a fun read. I would not mind more.

>>29516596
this was awesome

>10
It's dead fucker.

>>29515091
Unfortunately for you you're wrong Anon. I use the Discord all the time. In fact, I'm on it right now

>>29517066
Nice prank, no one that posts regularly uses it.

>>29517007
> Be Hull O' Blue
> You knew the company couldn't afford a proper, professional crew of sailors, but even so
> There's even some Anonkin, judging by the names
> You continues the roll call
"Fucker!"
> "Here!"
"Mother Fucker!"
> "Present!"
"Old Mother Fucker!"
> "You rang?"
> Anonkin are usually pretty serious about their jobs, so you can't complain too much
> And they are always nice pieces of eye candy
> But the whimsy
> Dear Sun and Moon, the whimsy
"Really Old Fucker!"
> "Right behind you, Captain."
> You look over your shoulder with a frown
> You had forgotten the navigator was one of them
> Discord take you, there is no way this voyage is going to go smoothly
> With your luck, he's probably in disguise as the cook or something
"Dead Fucker!"
> Silence
> You look up from the scroll
"Does anypony know where Dead Fucker is?"
> And then you see it
> Some joker brought a skeleton on board
> Fucker is waving its leg in the air
> Tight Pants, the company liaison, has the grace to look embarrassed
> "It was one of their stipulations, I'm afraid. One last voyage for their fallen brother."
> Of course
> You sigh
"Right. Welcome aboard you all to Rick's Limb, and keep your damn whimsy to a minimum. Understood?"
> A score of voices yell back in unison
> "Yes ma'am!"
"Mares and stallions to your stations, I expect to be out of the harbor by the next bell!"
> As motley as your crew is, they seem to know their jobs
> Perhaps you really will find the Fort Anne archives, that legendary library of human lore

>>29516426
The cancer was already there
Now's the time for Chemo

>>29517197
This. Liberals, SJWs, and globalists are the cancer.

>>29517303
What was it that George Carlin said: "Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. "

>>29517183
This was awesome.
I enjoy the idea of Anonkin.

>>29516596
>"Applejack I will smack the accent off you."
So was this.

>>29516534
In rgre, wouldn't it be awkward as hell for mares to get any sex toys, and wouldn't there be a small amount of different ones available?

Whereas stallions have all sorts of toys and it's considered normal.

>>29517353
i really dont think it would make sense since stallions can get pussy whenever they want and the fact theyre the rarer sex

regardless even if its RGRE, females having a BIGGER variety of toys would make sense

>>29517367
Justify owning a dildo as much as you want Fluttershy, you're still a freak.

>>29517353
Derpy is the designated mailpony for otokopoles and other such packages. She's a real sis about it too, never mentioning anything, just cheerful professionalism and turning a directionally challenged eye on the matter.
As for variety, buttplugs are unisex.

>>29514904
Truefact: Writefags exist in a magical reality where they don't have jobs, bills to pay, a social life, interests other than writing, or any sort of life to speak of.

>>29517318
They're basically the scum of the earth, and the only way they can make themselves feel less scummy is to propagate the false notion that everyone who disagrees with them is scum.

>>29517404
Key hand placement.

>>29517066
No, shut up. Writefags don't get bored of the thing they've been writing about for years, nor do they ever run out of ideas. Day and night, without sleep, they sit in front of the computer and write about ponies.

>>29517081
>Thing is bad
>>No see I use thing and I am okay
>No shut up you don't actually use thing you're fake b'awwww

>>29517404
Turns out that the Hooves are related to the Pies as well. Surprise is a mutual cousin of Pinkie and Derpy. Essentially being a Pinkie Pie with wings (though without the reality-warping abilities), Surprise relentlessly pursues the cock.

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>>29517183
>"Does anypony know where Dead Fucker is?"
>> And then you see it
>> Some joker brought a skeleton on board
>> Fucker is waving its leg in the air
my sides are gone

>>29515344
>>29515356
True. Fuck it!
>>29514839
>Be Anon.
>”I mean really! Why can’t I talk to one mare without them thinking I want to buck them!?”
>Thunderlane and you have been listening to Caramel whine for the past hour.
>You always come to this bar every Tuesday, and Caramel always bitches about something.
>Honestly you only come here because you like hanging out with Thunderlane.
>”-and so what if I do buck a few different mares I don’t want to herd with? That shouldn’t make me a slut! Pinkie bucks at least a stallion a month!” He whines causing Thunder’s ears to perk up.
>”Weren’t you just talking about how you wanted to make a herd with her last week?” He ask tilting his head to the side.
>Caramel blows air through his nose.
>”Yeah, well that was before I knew how much of a stallionizer she was.” He says putting his noses up.
>Thunderlane just shakes his head.
>”But still, that’s besides the point. I should be able to talk to whatever mare I want without them wanting to buck me!” he then looks towards you. “I mean Anon here has to know what I mean. Right Anon? “
>He says taking a sip of his light cider.
“I don’t have that problem.”
>Caramel snorts.
>”Oh, puhlease. Like I haven’t seen the way Lyra acts around you.”
>You just look at him for a bit.
>Is he honestly that stupid?
>You’ve been going out with Lyra for three months.
“Maybe because we’re dating?”
>Caramel’s jaw drops.
>”Seriously Anon, Lyra? “ He says in his normal bitchy voice.
“Yeah, I kinda like her. She’s a sweet mare.”
>You say drinking a bit of your own cider.
>She really is.
>Heck she even let’s you watch one of her favorite shows, MLH.
>It’s not bad. It has angels, mages, and regular humans.
>Pretty good for a show for ‘Little colts and fillies’.
>Caramel’s nose scrunches up.

>>29517784
>”Yeah but haven’t you noticed she’s gained a bit of weight?”
“Well yeah she’s a bit pudgier than some ponies, but she’s not fat or anything.”
>It’s true, she had a bit off pudge but other than that she was perfectly healthy for a unicorn.
>”Well I’m not saying she’s fat… just bigger than other mares. I’m just saying you can do better.” He says looking around the bar.
>”How about her?” He says looking behind you.
>You turn around and see a yellow pegasus with a fiery orange mane smirking at you.
“I’m not into pegasi. No offence Thunder.”
>Thunderlane just nods and continues to drink his cider.
>”Still, you could do SO much better Anon.”
>You stand up before speaking.
“Look while I’d LOVE to hear you tell me what I need, I’ve got a pillow-y marefriend at home waiting for me.”
>As you stand up and begin to walk away you hear Thunder talking to Caramel.
>”I’m leaving because I just think you’re a prick.”
>As you leave your mind is filled with pictures of cozy plump minty unicorns.

>>29517789
holy shit I like Thunderlane now. And Lyra needs some love.

>>29517852
>Lyra thinks Anon and his fingers are gross
>Bon Bon is enraptured when she watches Anon unwrap a candy quickly and easily
>"He didn't have to use his mouth or hooves or ANYTHING!"
>Tries to hire him to help with the candy production

>>29518431
>lyra
>thinks fingers are gross
back to the drawing board anon

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>>29515533
His story summaries sound like he's trying too hard to make his stories sound epic.
>"A stallion spoke of horrors and terrors. But the Sun feared what he could bring!"
>"He escaped bluh blah bluh, but the open world was now a prison to him. How he longs to feel the tundra wind again."
He does that thing where he deliberately withholds details like names and identities in order to use as many words as possible to describe absolutely nothing about his shitty story.

>>29518464
Bon Bon convinces Lyra to pretend to like Anon so that nopony thinks she's weird. It's like a grown man using a young relative as an excuse to watch a children's cartoon show.

>>29517404
That's adorable.

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>>29517789
>“I’m not into pegasi
WOAH HEY CALM DOWN WITH THAT HERESY BUDDY

>>29518431
I want an AU green where Bon Bon is obsessed with humans and Lyra has to drag her away from Anon using her magic

Scarecrows

>>29518806
Anon sets up a scarecrow. Pegamares think it's a human male and flock to it. The plants around it are just bonus for spending time with the hot silent colt.

>>29518900
>Anon carefully plants poison joak in the field around the scarecrow on a Friday
>Hangs out with AJ drinking cider all day in the park the next day, watching for any that got caught in his trap

>>29517353
>>29517367

>Ponies only have the most basic of sex toys
>It's shameful to have them for mares /and/ stallions.
>A mare who can't get dick is a failure
>A stallion who would rather rut something fake than the horde of willing mares is unbelievably selfish.
>Because who ever heard of a stallion that couldn't get laid on demand (they exist, but don't bother trying to convince anypony of that)

>Most ponies who want a sex toy have to get by with the improvised kind.
>A filly during her first estrus will look longingly at that cucumber in the vegetable drawer.
>A unicorn mare might repurpose a magic crystal that vibrates.
>For the awkward gangly colt, he'll never be able to look at the couch in the living room the same way again, after that one time.

>>29519705
enter Anon and his obscene collection of Bad Dragon toys.
>shenanigans

>>29518466
>twisted fate
>a human is transformed by discord into a changling male and brought into equestria's dungeons years before luna turns into the nightmare
>human changling woos luna

>the substitute demon:
>a human is transformed into a male version of nightmare moon forty years after her defeat
>raises a colony or worshipers in the jungle, grooms a changeling girl into becoming his waifu, fights nightmare twilight

the worst part about all of his stories is that the dialogue is too contrived and long-winded. every time his self-insert talks all the other characters just shut up and listen to his rambling speeches, which have only about ten minutes between each of them. he always makes them see reason, they are always receptive to his ideas, and he doesn't make mistakes. he so smart, they do dumb, stupid ponies should let him enlighten them with his human ideas and values.

>>29519802
>there is a dragon literally named "Bad Dragon" who sells these in a variety of sizes
>They can't be produced in Equestria
>They're subject to huge import taxes
>Ponies pay out the nose to have them shipped in anyways, in nondescript cardboard boxes
>Bad Dragon asks Anonymous to come visit for an "earning opportunity"
>He asks Twilight what that's all about
>She knows, but she doesn't want him to know she knows
>What do

>>29505426
royalty marrying a commoner.

>>29520586
>Shock!
>Scandal!
>The nobility is all in a tizzy over it
>Princess Cadence, along with Rarity and her ilk all over the country find it just *so romantic* that Love conquers such meager barriers as social status.

alternatively

>Celestia just tells everyone that he is of noble blood among his kind
>What humans are around to say any different?
>His not behaving like an aristocrat stallion is just cultural differences
>He *is* an alien after all

>>29519836
>>a human is transformed
How about no.

>>29520639
What part of TF do you dislike? Is it because it makes you feel as if control is taken away from you? Why does not being human for any period of time disgust you?

>>29520927
>What part of TF do you dislike?
The TF part.

>>29520935
So you just don't like it irrationally? I mean, I always thought TF art weirds me out, but other than that I have no qualms with it.

>>29520927
It's the loss of control. Something has perverted my body against my will or, if it was willing, has stolen some of my humanity away. Obviously this isn't real life and I don't have any strong feelings one way or the other if it were to be written about, but autists can't tell the difference and REEEEEEEEEE as though it were happening to them.

>>29520927

Because it's invariably garbage written by garbage people.

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I would like to keep Velvet all to myself without the whole sharing with her daughter business.

>>29520927
I have very few things that I value and two of those things I value more than all the others. My body and my mind, they are the two things that only I have complete control over. TF takes that from me.

>>29520935
>>29520961
>>29521045
>>29521107
Just because you personally don't like a thing doesn't mean it shouldn't exist. If someone wants to write TF, that's their perogitive. If nobody likes it, they won't get the precious (you)s that they need to sustain themselves.

>>29521107
....You realize that it isn't really happening to you, right? It's being written about. Like, a fictional story featuring not real people who are not alive and do not experience the emotions and sensations that the writer describes them to be feeling. An Anon who is dismayed that he is no longer human is not actually feeling any displeasure, nor does he feel or experience anything at all. As SMBC put it: "Less than dead, they never were." The writer is taking nothing away from you.

Hey thread!
Give me a good prompt.

>>29521365
This one pls:
>>29509647

>>29521365
Anon, after a couple months in equestria is suffering withdrawals from not being called a faggot. Because the stallions are all acting like girls theres no smack talk or banter between them. So Anon convinces the mane 6 to let him join in in their Mares night and talk shit to him. The pony who absolutely fucking roasts him is not who he expects.

>>29521365
A story focusing on your waifu of choice as she tries to make Anon her horsebando. Anon, not belonging to a world with reversed gender roles, does not react to her courting the way she expects, and the way she interprets Anon's actions and responses is radically different than what they actually are. Preferably this is accomplished with the end result of Anon and your waifu of choice hooking up, because misinterpreting signs that somebody is uninterested in you makes me sad.

>>29521407
>Waifu gives Anon gifts of idk jewelry, which is not something a male of our world would expect to receive, much less receive more than once
>Anon is flattered at thought but confused as to why waifu is buying him jewelry, of all things
>Waifu just thinks that Anon is bashful and meek

>>29521399
>roasts
Underage get out.

>>29521474
Oh wow get triggered nigger. Roast as a term for insulting someone for laughs has existed for fucking decades. Honestly just stop posting you uneducated pleb.
But seriously, Anon how the fuck did you think that was a sign of underage b&? Is this some stupid new American thing?

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>>29521320
>You realize that it isn't really happening to you, right?
how new are you, faggot? how many greentext stories have you actually read? greentext 2nd-person perspective stories inherently lend themselves to self-insertion, and it's why they all call the main human character Anonymous, and the exploits and adventures that "you" (since you are also anonymous here on the board, it's supposed to be you) go on with these ponies, typically with the kind of behavior that anons here would have.
TF destroys that notion. it's a story about someone RPing as a pony or griffon or whatthefuckever the author turns them into, because Anonymous the Human (still written in second-person, remember?) as a human was not good enough as is. the author of the story wants to be something completely different from themselves, and by extension the reader, because they are either too lazy to write well enough with a human character, or they want to be a pony.
that's the inherent problem. their body and form, and your body and form, are so irredeemable in the eyes of the author and the inhabitants of the world that you must completely erase it and replace it with something else. the greentexts stories here are written almost (99%) exclusively in second-person perspective, with everything happening to "you." they guide you through a story or journey or experience, and it's something unique to the *chans.
don't try and dismiss these legitimate criticisms with your pseudo-intellectual posturing about how meta you can be about the written medium and fiction. i'm surprised you found your way here at all considering the cold and apathetic way you regard the characters in the show and in the stories they tell--that is, if that's really how you perceive them and you're not just trying to be an edgelord. how would a story create suspense or interests if the reader keeps in mind that these characters don't exist?

TL;DR: you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.

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>>29521533
Leafy said it

>>29521570
This just reflects badly on you desu senpai.

>>29521619
I'm not >>29521474, I'm just speculating

>>29521365
here's a collection of prompts:
http://pastebin.com/GgD2Yvkv

>>29521074
Hmm, I can make a prompt out of this.
>Twilight Velvet finds Night Light sleeping with another mare. probably fluer or whatever her name is.
>She files for a divorce and Night Light gets 75% of the stuff because 'poor colt needs help'.
>Night Light gets to the kids first and makes up some bullshit story and they accept it because "Why would their own father lie about something like that."
>Twilight and Shining can't believe their mom would do that to their father and pretty much disown her and refuse to talk to her.
>Velvet is absolutely ruined.
>She still kept her job but most of her coworkers shun her.
>Velvet starts going to bars to drink away the real world.
>One day she is approached by a large bipedal stallion.
>They talk and hit it off.
>Months into them dating Velvet realize how much freedom she has around Anon that she didn't with Night Light
>Doesn't complain about how she takes care of herself, yet cares enough to worry about her.
>Likes sports.
>Doesn't care if she hangs out with the mares alot.
>Doesn't bug her about money.
>Doesn't complain for days about her forgetting something.
>Starts becoming all around more happy with her life.
>A year or so later they get married.
>Twilight can't believe her mother remarried.
>She tries to give her shit about it.
>It keeps going to the point Velvet tells her to get bent.
> Eventually Velvet figures out she married a colt young enough to be her son.
>She's never been so wet before.

>>29521533
>three words
>"WOW FUCKING TRIGGERED OH MYH GOD"

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>>29521142

>>29521796
......I like it.

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>>29521796

>>29521824
Oh come off it anon that was clearly in jest. That's why it was followed up by "but seriously". Get your shit together.

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>>29521796
>MILF action

>>29521853
You can't tell me what to do. You're not my real dad.

>>29521796
just imagine all the things a mare her age has learned to do. and the things she's heard other couples talk about doing. Anon is young enough to want to try them all with her.

>>29521866
>Anon has the energy to eat her out for hours under her desk at work