Flutterrape - 7/1/17

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I like to imagine this is the first thing she said to Anon

>>29212276
I believe that pic was used not even 5 threads ago.

Where's the variety, Flutterrape? Answer me. While I try to write more Glim

>>29212369
I got a new computer and haven't gotten around to finding my stupidly large amount of pictures I'd saved over the years on 4chan. Im lacking all the good FR related images!

And the 6 I tried first were apparently duplicates from the last thread, so...

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Yeeeah, work that grill baby

>>29212697
Oh boy this again

Gonna post some green later tonight, but it won't feature fluttershy. She a shit.

>>29213046
She DEFINITELY a shit.

>>29213046
That's fine, can't wait to see what you've got

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>>29213046
That deserves rape.

>>29212697
Oh good I was worried this wouldn't show up.

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>>29213046
>Another day in Equestria.
>Your time here has been pretty good. Not very exciting after the shock of having travelled worlds, but still nice.
>You managed to keep a pretty low profile for an alien. Everyone just sort of accepts your existence.
>That said you don't really have a lot of friends here. You don't have enemies or anything, but no one really goes out of their way to spend time with you. Except for three young fillies that is.
>But you really can't call that a friendship.
>For the last couple of months they've been trying to "get you" for whatever reason, and they've been failing miserably.
>From trap doors, to nets, even trying to get you to eat a cupcake with sleeping pill sprinkles.
>Which brings you to today. They've set up a gypsy wagon outside your house that reads "fortoon teller" on the side of it.
>Sweetie bell and Apple bloom sit outside the door and when they see you they stand to attention.
>"Hello sir, would you like to have your hoof read today?"
>"We can tell ya about what tha future holds for ya. If you'll lose yer job, who'll be yer special somepony, and what you'll get for a hearths warming present."
>They're really selling it.
>"Alright, how much is it?" You ask.
>"It's free, you just have to go in." Says Sweetie.
>You walk inside the wagon, expecting a trap, only to see Scootaloo sitting behind a crystal ball. Where'd they even get this stuff?

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>>29213641
>You sit down across from her as she asks; "What brings you here young one?"
>She's speaking in a deep ominous voice, that comes off as more cute than anything else.
>"You parked your wagon outside my house."
>"So you want to know where the wagon came from and what it has in store for you?"
>"Uh, yes."
>"Then say no more, just place you hands on the crystal ball and it will all be revealed."
>You do as she says, just as a way to find out where she's going with this.
>"Nothing's happening." You say.
>"You need to close you eyes for it to wooork."
>You close your eyes and keep your hands on the ball, all the while hearing Scootaloo move towards the door. So was their plan to trap you in a wagon? Seems kind of stupid.
>"Keep your eyes closed now, the spirits need you to focus for you to hear them."
>"You're right, I hear them!"
>"Wait, what?" She says, dropping her wizard voice.
>"Yeah it's just like you said, I focused on them and now I can hear them. They're telling me everypony's secrets too. No way, so cool." You're really hamming it up, but it's working. Soon they're all standing around you.
>"What are they saying? Anything about us?"
>"You'll have to find out for yourselves."
>They all put their hooves on the ball and close their eyes.
>"I can't hear anything." Sweetie bell says.
>"You know sometimes it helps if you call out to the spirits."
>"Like this?" Apllebloom asks before asking "Can any spirits here me?"
>You have to suppress a laugh.
>"Yeah, just like that. All 3 of you now."
>And like that they're all three standing in front of a crystal ball asking for the spirits to gossip.
>You can't help but smile at your handy work as you close the wagon door on them. You'd think they would've learned by now not to trust you, all their plans fail like this. You wonder why they even want to catch you in the first place.
>As you walk away you can still hear the sound of them "calling out" for spirits.
>Just like on earth, all your friends are dumb.

Bamp

cump

>>29213732
That was pretty good

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>You are Rainbow dash.
>Every morning for the past month you've been coming to Anon's house. He had told you and your friends that Fluttershy had been coming there and asking about fetishes.
>Of course neither you or believed him. He didn't seem like the type to lie but that was something you never thought Fluttershy would do. She was just so... shy.
>But being the good friend to Anon that you are you had to investigate. So every morning you've been sitting out of sight on the roof of his house, listening to him and Fluttershy go through the same ritual every morning.
>What was more surprising than that Fluttershy could do that, is that she had the guts to do something you were afraid to try yourself.
>You've been into the 'hooman' ever since he got here, but you've never tried to ask him out. He's said he's not into ponies, and you hang out together often enough that if he were going to ask you out he would've already.
>So now you've just been listening to Fluttershy's guesses, and taking notes.
>Apparently he's not into bondage, water sports, or bunny costumes. All things you're glad about.
>You'd think Fluttershy would get one right eventually, you're getting tired of trying to figure it out.
>Someday she'll say one that he'll like and that's when you'll show up, ready to try it with him. You just hope he doesn't somehow fall for Fluttershy.

>>29216878
I really hope this gets to go somewhere.

>>29217394
Maybe later anon, typing these out on phone is irritating.

>>29216878
>the feel when cumming inside is his fetish

>>29218424
I don't think Fluttershy would ever get to know that one.

>>29218927
What if cumming inside rainbow dash was his fetish and that's why fluttershy can never guess it

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>>29219104
Mind blown.

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>>29219104
Then she'll probably adopt Twilight's strategy.

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>>29219254
>anon wants to cum inside of crusty cunt
>not just wanting to cum inside of a meme
Fluttershy would just cut out the middleman and become the internets.
She and her friends are probably in 1% of all rape fetish pictures. And they're only growing.

Boop

Bamp

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>>29219424

Sauce for the picture...?

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>>29213149

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>>29222707
Mareholic Volume 4, artist Lightsourced. I believe it's Stella the unicorn that's sucks dick.

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She's gonna do lewd things to this doll

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Rump

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>>29216878
>Dawn of a new day.
>You were Anon's roof as usual, and as usual Fluttershy was here. Anon just slammed the door in her face for showing up with a saddle and a crop, your typical bdsm gear.
>And as usual Fluttershy was leaving dejected.
>You were beginning to wonder if Anon even had a fetish. Nothing she tries seems to have any effect on him.
>Or maybe it's just her? Maybe if you showed up with that stuff he would agree to ride you...
>No way, he's not a freak like that. It's Anon you're talking about. He probably likes nice mares.
>You need to find your way in, your edge.
>You need to do some spying.

>Later that day.
>Anon was walking around ponyville. Eating, shopping, the normal boring stuff.
>And there you were, hiding behind a suspicious, out of place cloud always floating just out of sight from Anon.
>He's bound to slip up and reveal something dark desire of his. You're not really sure how or why he would do that, but fortune favors you.
>And the day went on like this. Just watching and waiting, until he went to twilight's and came back with a book.
>A cook book.

>>29229099
Man this is going to be good.

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>>29229099
>You quickly fly to Twilight's place but calm yourself before knocking on the door.
>When she comes to the door you try to think of an excuse as to why you're there.
>"Hey Rainbow, how are you today?"
>"Daring do. Oh uh, I'm fine, I just need to get some books or whatever."
>"Haven't you read all the Daring do books?" She asks.
>"Uh yeah, but isn't part of enjoying a book being able to read it again?"
>She looks at you suspiciously for half a second before smiling and agreeing.
>"You're absolutely right Rainbow, which ones were you after today?"
>"Oh you know, the ones... hey now that you mention it I've been thinking more about cooking lately. Got anything for that, like say, a cookbook?"
>From the look on her face she's noticed that you're acting weird.
>"Uh well what style of cooking are you wanting to try?"
>"Maybe something for beginners, or someone who has never cooked. Something easy but also amazing."
>"Oh, well ill see what I can find."
>She leaves and comes back with a book entitled: "100 dishes YOU can make".
>"This sounds like what you're after, but you do know that cooking is a skill that you need to develop?"
>Grabbing the book you say: "Yeah yeah Twi, you got to start somewhere. Thanks."
>And as you fly away you can't see the look of confusion on Twilight's face. You admit, you're acting skills might need a little work.
>Anyway, time to get cooking.

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>>29229260
>Later that night.
>You fly down to Anon's front door, carrying a basket.
>Cooking was definitely not your thing. You should've known that something Pinkie does could result in a fire.
>That cookbooks directions weren't exactly easy to understand either. You had no idea what a "tbspn" is.
>After much trial and error you made what you believed was a passable dessert. The way to a stallion's heart was through food or something like that.
>You quickly straighten yourself up and knock on his door. But as soon as he answers, you freeze up. You hadn't thought of an alibi for all of this.
>"Uh, hi Rainbow Dash. What's up?"
>Oh no, he used your full name, you may as well be a stranger to him.
>No, head in the game Rainbow.
>"Oh hi Anon. I was just thinking about how I never cooked my famous pie for you, so uh, here it is, for you."
>Smooth.
>He looks into the basket to see a rushed, slightly overcooked pie. Made with peaches not apples. You don't want him getting any ideas about apples, or apple ponies...
>"Oh well thanks. I didn't really think you cooked anything, but yeah it looks good."
>You stand there, waiting. But you don't really know what for.
>"Um, so do you want to eat it with me?"
>Almost as soon as he asks you excitedly shout "yes!"
>That wasn't awkward at all. And now you're in his house.

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>>29229332
>As you take a seat at his table you take a good look around at his house. It was almost as messy as yours. Nice.
>"Sorry about the mess, I wasn't really expecting company."
>"Oh Anon, you don't have to try to impress me." You say, trying to sound as attractive as you can. It made more sense in your head.
>"...Ok then."
>"So how have you been? Anything new in your life?" You ask.
>"No. It's the same thing everyday. I wake to Fluttershy on my door step every morning, and have to get harassed by her and her fetish guesses."
>"Oh, so she still does that?"
>"Yeah, she does. So you believe me now?"
>"Yes Anon, why would I doubt you?" You say, trying to sound "sweet".
>"huh" is all he says.
>"So she hasn't by any chance, I don't know, guessed your fetish, has she?"
>"What? No, I don't even have a fetish. And besides it's Fluttershy, she's a psycho. Anyone who spends that much time thinking about someone else's fetish has severe mental issues."
>Good thing he doesn't know about your journal...
>"Oh good." You say without thinking.
>"Rainbow, what's up? You're acting really weird."
>"What me, weird? You're funny Anon. I just want eat some pie with my good friend, you guy."
>You must be setting off some red flags for Anon, he's looking at you like you just suggested that you both overthrow Celestia's reign.
>"Yeah pie. Let's have some real quick and then I need to go to bed." He says cautiously.

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>>29229443
>You watch him as he cuts the pie, his hands look so cool.
>Imagine what he could do with those fingers...
>"Rainbow, are you listening?"
>"W-what?"
>"How big of a price do you want?" He's staring at you now.
>"Oh just a small piece, I need to keep myself in shape. You never know when I'm going to need to attract a stallion." You blush as you say that last part.
>"Alright, what's going on here? Did Fluttershy put you up to this?"
>"What do you mean Anon~" his name rolling off your tongue softly.
>"I mean that! Why are you talking like that? Is it some kind of elaborate scheme to make Fluttershy look sane in comparison to you? Because it won't work. YOU HEAR ME FLUTTERSHY, IT WON'T WORK!" He yells at his window, to no one.
>You're losing him.
>"No Anon, Fluttershy's the crazy one. I'm your friend Rainbow Dash."
>"I've hung out with you like twice."
>"Anon you can't deny the chemistry we share."
>"This is too much. You need to go now."
>He picks you up, but as he's walking you towards the door you turn quickly in an attempt to kiss him, but miss and hit his chin.
>He angrily tosses you out of his house and yells: "You need a therapist! And don't bake me anything else. And tell Fluttershy that you aren't my fetish."
>As he slams the door you yell back: "You know you love me Anon, try not to dream about me tonight!"
>"I wont!" comes from the house.
>Well that could've gone better.

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>>29229557
>When you get home, you sigh contentedly. Happy that you shared your feelings with Anon.
>Now he knows how you feel about him, and how much more serious you are about him than Fluttershy is.
>And even after all he said, you didn't see him throw out your pie.
>If that doesn't mean he loves you, you don't know what does.
>This is the start of a beautiful relationship. You'll have to let Fluttershy know that she won't need to guess for his fetishes anymore now that he's seeing someone.
>As you lay down to sleep you smile to yourself.
>"Love you too Anon, good night."
>Today was an awesome day.

And that's all I got for today. Once again, Fluttershy a shit. Stay alive thread.

>>29229600
Oh man this is goingto be fantastic.

>>29229600

Now anon has TWO of them to worry about.

Lets add the other five while we're at it

>>29230325
God, I forgot that Glimmer existed for a second.

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>>29230530
>for a second
>not forgetting that Glimmer exists completely
>except as S5 premiere edition
Why must I live in the version of the world where Haber and co. ruin everything?

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I'll give her one thing, she does look really soft.

>>29232306
>No one in Flutterrape will ever be motivated enough to write a story about Starlight Glimmer.

Shit.

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>>29233500
>You wrote half the story, but it got too shitty and then you stopped.

Fug.

/r/ing flutter doing abdl stuff with anon

>>29233813
Was that the one with Glimmer watching Anon sleep?

Eat out Fluttershy's bump, and fuck her right in the front page.

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>>29234901

>>29229600
This is hilarious

>>29234257
I never posted it.

It would require too much alteration, and I couldn't be arsed.

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>>29229600
>You weren't looking forward to what you had to do today. But as a good, loyal friend, you had to do it.
>As you approached Fluttershy's house you caught her walking out dressed as a farmer. Straw hat, overalls, and a hoe. Another odd fetish guess.
>She seems a little surprised to see you when you land in front of her.
>"H-hey Rainbow, what are you doing here?"
>"Look Fluttershy, we need to talk. I know that you've been going to Anon's every morning to guess his fetish."
>"W-what, d-don't be silly."
>"Why are you dressed like that then?"
>"I um, need to help... a family of gophers."
>"Fluttershy, it's ok. You don't have to be embarrassed about it. But I have to tell you that Anon's with somepony now, and it would be wrong if you kept guessing his fetish."
>You were being uncharacteristicly forward to her. You saw her expression shift strangely when you gave her the news. Like from a nervous smile to a holding-back-tears smile.
>"H-he's with s-somepony, huh? That's nice for him..." she says gritting her teeth.
>You may have misread that smile. Maybe you shouldn't tell her it was you who won Anon's affections.
>"Look Fluttershy, I'm only telling you this so you don't get hurt. It's going to be alright, Anon just loves somepony else, it can't be helped."
>"You're right, it can't be helped... These things happen..."
>"Well you look like you've got a lot to think about. I'm going to leave you be. Try to feel better though. Think of it this way, now you have more free time in the mornings." You say trying to cheer her up.
>She just turns around and walks back into her house. Poor mare.
>Well now that that was done, it's time to see Anon. You two are supposed to spend the day together. You wonder what you were going to do.

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>>29238159
>You can barely contain your excitement on your way to Anon's house.
>The memories from the night before still fresh in your head. You baked him a delicious pie, and expressed your true feelings. Feelings that Anon returned when he picked you up and hugged you out the door.
>This was truly the start of something wonderful.
>When you get to his house and knock on his door, it takes him a minute to answer, but when he does he's not fully dressed. You think he must've been sleeping when you got here.
>You just blush as he stares at you before saying: "Where's Fluttershy?"
>"Don't worry Anon, you won't have to deal with her coming to your door every morning. I had a talk with her and she understood that it would be wrong to keep bothering you." You say, puffing up your chest.
>Anon looks a little shocked.
>"Really? How did you do it? I've been telling her to leave me alone for months."
>"I just let her know that you were seeing somepony now and wouldn't have time for fetish guesses."
>His stare is emotionless and questioning. "What do you mean I'm seeing somepony?"
>"I mean you're dating somepony, like a s-special somepony..."
>You're blushing hard again. Anon just rubs his eyes with his hands an irritated manner.
>"Who did you say I was dating?"
>"Who else Anon, me." You have to look away you're blushing so hard.
>"God dammit."
>And with that he turns and walks back inside. He needs to clean himself up if you're going to spend the day together.
>He seemed really happy about Fluttershy, he'll have to thank you specially for that later. You were so good at this relationship stuff.

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>>29238210
>You wait outside for what feels like forever.
>Did Anon go back to sleep? What's the hold up?
>You've been sitting up on a cloud waiting for him to come out. You didn't want to rush him but this was ridiculous.
>After what must have been a couple hours Anon finally opens the door. And dressed too.
>You shout from your cloud: "It's about time Anon!"
>He looks up and sees you, but then goes back inside.
>You fly down to his door and start banging on it.
>"You're supposed to come hang out with me Anon, what's the hold up?"
>"I'm not going to hang out with you so forget it." Comes from behind the door.
>"What? Why?"
>"Because you're a psycho and I don't want to end up locked in a basement somewhere!"
>"Anon don't be dumb. Come out already"
>Silence
>"Anon!"
>"No!"
>"Come on, I got rid of Fluttershy for you. You're happy about that right?"
>"...Yeah."
>"Well then at least thank me by buying me lunch."
>Anon cracks open his door.
>"And if I do you won't look way to into it and think we're soul mates?"
>"Of course not."
>He starts coming out but pauses when you whisper: "I don't need lunch for that."
>"What was that?"
>"Nothing. Let's hurry, I'm starving."
>"Yeah, let's get this over with."

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>>29238264
>As you both walk into ponyville you take the time to get to know Anon better.
>Apparently the place he's from is called earth, not humantopia or something. And there ponies can't talk and they have cars and stuff.
>Anon kinda seems to miss it. But maybe having a special somepony would help change that.
>You decide to go get some hay burgers. Anon says he doesn't like hay but he'll settle for fries.
>You tried sitting next to him so you could hold hooves, but he just kept moving further away so you'll settle for sitting directly across for him.
>It feels like you melt when he makes eye contact with you, but he just looks frustrated.
>He must not have much patience for this waiter.
>When the food finally comes you dig in. Anon watches as you eat and finally speaks up.
>"Rainbow Dash listen, I know what's going on here. Fluttershy tried doing the same thing and I didn't realize it until it was too late."
>"You're welcome by the way." You say smiling.
>"Yeah, thanks. But listen, I'm not interested in dating a pony anymore than..."
>You tune him out as you just stare into his eyes. He sounded so serious, you loved that. It was mature. Even though you weren't paying attention to what he was saying you could sit there and listen to him talk all day.
>"So do you understand?"
>"Mhmm."
>"Ok, good I guess. Still friends?"
>"Best friends forever Anon."
>"Greeeaat."
>He has such a way with words.

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>>29238349
>"Well I need to be going now. It's been fun buying you food and all but I have errands to run." He says.
>"Ok Anon, I'll see you later."
>As you both get up you surprise him with a hug, that he doesn't return. He's just shy about pda.
>You have to be honest, the hug lasted a little longer than you planned it to. It's been at least a minute and you're still wrapped around him, eyes closed with your head nuzzled into his chest.
>"Ok I need to go now."
>"You're so warm..." you say contentedly.
>"Great. Glad our little talk helped."
>As he prys you off of him you take one last deep whiff of his scent. Smells like human.
>"Bye Anon, see you tomorrow."
>He doesn't say anything back you know he's looking forward to it.
>You're on a roll with these awesome days. It'll probably be this way right up to the wedding day. Assuming Anon asks you that is.
>You'll have to start dropping hints about it.

>Meanwhile back at Fluttershy's house.
>"He found somepony else? You mean somepony stole him from me."
>Fluttershy stands pulls out a box of supplies from her closet. It's filled every sort of fetish gear you can think of, and even more stuff you can't.
>"I know how to win him back. If guessing fetishes isn't going to work we'll just have to try them. The process of fetish elimination."
>She has a crazed look in her eyes.
>"This will win him back to me. Show him I'm right for him. He'll have to l-love me now."

>>29238429
Join us next time when Anon's life gets worse. I need to do some fetish research now. As always, fluttershy a shit.

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>>29238429
Love it, RD feels spot on

>>29238468
RD would probably not even hug anon, fearing that she might be seen as less cool.

>>29238554
Hey dude, it's fanfiction. It's basically the cringiest part of any fandom. I personally felt she would not have talked to fluttershy the way she did, but rationalized everything with "she's in love and insane". And besides, I'm only doing it because no one else is writing anything.

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>>29238554
>>29238649
Youre probably both right about RD, I've read so much fanfiction that the line of whats actually show and whats head canon gets blurry

>>29238728
I think you got her narcissism down pretty well at least, as far as she can tell everyone loves her and she can do no wrong

>>29212276
I propose we change the name of these threads to rainbowrape so that we can absorb the nightly rainbow dash thread and the iwtcird thread guys.

>>29228237
I want to be flutters

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Monthly reminder for Brownee.

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>In the distant future
>Princess Twilight has been leading Equestria's armies in a campaign to defeat the evil sorcerer Anonymous.
>Or at least that's the official story. Years ago when she accidentally summoned Anon the two were close friends. And though they were close, and Twilight even taught him magic, he didn't return her feelings when she said she loved him.
>Ever since then it's been one thing after the other, with Anon eventually moving to the dragon lands, and Twilight labelling him an enemy of Equestria.
>So they continuously battle each other, leading to Anon having to switch lairs, and Twilight raiding his old wardrobes, stealing left behind underwear.
>Life of wizard Anon is hard.

>>29242478
>Then again anon has this sick mirror where he can summon a pony succubus with beacon hair
>Not everything is bad in the life of wizard anon

>>29242565
This is true.

>>29234257
I'll continue it.

...Someday. Whenever senpai does

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>>29243390
I'm sure that it will be outstanding.

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>>29241800
>>29243390
It's killing me softly that I'm still not finished this damn story when there's people waiting on it.
Literally 90-95% done. I don't know why this is taking forever. Not like I don't have time between fixing shit in life.
I WANT to finish it, hell I want to finish the other two or three I didn't lose after I got a new computer as well. I wanna do another Straya Day too.

Why is this shit so hard...

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>>29244690
>Why is this shit so hard...
We all feel that feel sometimes. But you'll just have to nut up. Try listening to some music or something to take away the pain of feeling like you suck. Those feelings are just growing pains.

Is it a problem that I think Fluttershy is cute?

>>29246580
Everyone's entitled to their opinions.

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>>29246580
Yes. She'll use that against you.

Boop

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>>29248723
>this happens every thread
Fluttershy must have a ton of foals right now. And if Anon ever leaves, he'd be in prison from the lack of alimony payments. All according to plan...

>>29249370
So they're pretty much trailer trash.

>>29249391
Hey man, the one with the hat is cute.

>>29249955
I wasn't talking about in the picture, just about his description.

>>29244690
You can do it. Call me Pollyanna cause that's why I believe in youuu I need to replay EarthBound Beginnings again

I wrote a small portion of a second part. Not sure whether to post it yet though...

Boop

>>29250535
>Priest will never fight Cadence for the safety of his virginity.
>Priest will never battle for three days
>Priest will never then get behind the sleeping mare and proceed to wack it. To where in continuing to ejaculate on her horse butt, and seal her cheeks together.

>>29225110
Doing god's work

more?

I really hope that Dash story comes back soon.

>>29252528
Me too. That was entertaining.

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>>29252557
>>29252528
Writefag here. I'm just lurking atm but when I get some more free time I'll write the next part. I'm drawing from a very shallow well so I need time to think up something good. I'm also considering using a name but I don't want to be gay.

>>29252793
Glad to hear you're still around,
don't want to pressure you into writing if
nothing comes to mind.

>>29252842
I have it all planned out. I just need to sit down and write it. You know how it goes, I've just sort of been winging it so far.

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>You walk into Fluttershy sleep in your bed like this
> https://derpibooru.org/1338104?scope=scpea251657a94911fdfa9ab35822190d904d714085c
>Being the good sport you are you dont immediately drop and armbar on her silly little pony body, but instead greet her with another rude awakening just as pervasive
> https://derpibooru.org/1337841?scope=scpea251657a94911fdfa9ab35822190d904d714085c
>Tossing her into a heap on the floor you flop into your bed more comfortable now then ever
>A pervading yet comforting thought in your mind still rings
>Fucking Fluttershy

>>29253566
Is this actual original thread content? I want to believe, but it's kind of hard to tell anymore.

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>>29252793
>rainbro pic
That gave me some warm feels.

>>29257757
Shouting makes Fluttershy look so squishy and comfortable.
Perfect cuddling material.
The perfect trap.

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>>29258458
Yeah, I'm pretty sure his Fluttershy is based on this thread judging by his early work with her, and her general attitude towards Anon.

>>29220340
that genuienly made me laugh

Hi, Flutterrape, please bring back Eppy from dead

>>29247382
Get your weird horse legs out of my boxers dang it! I'll have to re-stretch the crotch pocket now.

>>29262218
You'd be better off asking the threads she moved to instead.

>>29262218
I think Eppy moved to AiE. Go ask them.

>>29262218
I don't think we're that great of necromancers.

Bamp

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>dancewithshy.gif

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>>29264721
She couldn't handle these moves.

>>29265858
Is there a full version?

>>29266197
https://derpibooru.org/735054?scope=scped8455f7930b27bd55cc125604db55d002b4c82c5

>>29266197
derpi. 735054

If that isn't enough for you to go on, you don't deserve the butter.

>>29266240
>>29266249
That's a weird looking vagoo

>>29266295
That's pretty cute.

>>29266295
The bra serves no purpose.

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>>29266701
So you're saying you'd like to see her go topless?

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How could you even deny this face.

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>>29266839
No, it's just up too high.

Do you even crotchtits, anon?

>>29269638
That makes a lot of sense actually.

Rape is fun.

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>>29270179
I fucking read that in Homer's voice as I was drinking a coke and I snorted a bit. Fucking nose burns

>>29213732
That give me a smile

Rainbow dash guy here, will continue story tomorrow night. Stay alive thread.

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>>29271320
>Stay alive thread.
Where do you think we are?

Shame on you. Where is the
>Green?

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>>29269638
>Rarity will never show off her string tight crotch-bra to you.
>She will never pull you in to look at the fine details of her design, ever so closely to her delicates.
>Rarity will never bounce a beach ball at you with her firm buttocks.
>You will never be in the situation where you're hiding a boner from Fluttershy because Rarity is being sexy on the beach around you.

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>>29272969
>Rarity doesn't think she's into human stallions, but she kind of does
>but she's nice enough to give you free boners
>she says it's just to help Fluttershy out with her crush
>but she loves the attention
>like when she supported Fluttershy being a model even though SHE wanted the job
Rarity's nice like that.
You lie down and think of tubgirl.
Yup, that did it.

>>29212276

Boop

>>29274411
That's an interesting premise.

>>29277776
Write it then. Because I'm too lazy to.

bamp

>Estrus comes along
>Twilight panics, hoping to get in as much sex as she possibly can before it's over
>Schedules Anon's entire week to consist of increasingly taboo and stressful sexual activities
>Fucks the ever loving shit out of him until he can't take it anymore and goes into hiding
>Twilight panics even more and wraps up the entire town into an unreasonable search party looking for him
>Unwilling to deal with her, they all go into hiding to
>...Where Anon was hiding
>He's forced out into the open infront of a crazed Twilight
>His pelvis is sore for a whole month afterwards

I want one about Twilight Sparkle wanting to experiment constantly and the human actually being up for it until magic gets too involved and we get into "No I really don't want wrist-penises to insert into your new side-vaginas please get some help" territory.

>>29279594
10/10 best green.

>>29263055
Hey, we're not so bad. Look, we're still here! Sorta!

>>29279594
Spongebob did it.

>>29279594
I rather one where Twilight wants to receive a wing-preening and enjoys it a little too much.

>Suddenly, you feel her magic tug your hand towards... somewhere else
"...Twilight, I don't think those are your wings."

>>29281899

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>>29238429
>It's been a week and you and Anon are closer than ever.
>You and him have spent a lot of time together lately, and even though you've been receptive to him, he hasn't tried to take it to the next level. You were going to fix that though.
>You found out where he hides his spare key and using your recently acquired cooking skills, you were going to make him a meal.
>Well not so much a meal as a bunch of cookies, you know, cuz it had to be something sexy. Cookies are sexy.
>You also set his table as well as you could, with candles and all that stuff.
>You assured yourself that he was going to love it, and now that you saw him walking up to the door you sat at the table ready to surprise him.
>When he walks in he stops for a second as sniffs the air, smelling your cookies obviously.
>"Welcome home Anon."
>"Noooo why?"
>"Jeez, you must have had a bad day."
>"How did you get in here?"
>"Duh, the spare key. Remember? I saw you hide it under a rock the other day."
>"I didn't think I was being watched, but I guess that's my fault at this point."
>"Sooo... have a cookie."
>He picks one up and bites it only for the cookie to not give. You made them hard, get it? 'Hard'. You chuckle at that in your head.
>"So what do you think, sexy right?"
>"I've told you everyday for the past week that I'm not into you, or any ponies."
>"Make sense Anon, if you're not into ponies why would you be dating one?"
>"We're not dating, you psycho horse. You keep stalking me, and trying to 'cook' me things, and I keep having to find ways to get rid of you."
>"I like it when you play hard to get." You say winking at him.
>"You see? Nothing I say gets through to you. You have selective hearing or something. At least fluttershy would leave me alone for the rest of the day when I shut the door on her, you're absolutely crazy."
>"Crazy about you."

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>>29282905
>"Look as much as I like hard coo-"
>"pfft- hard."
>"Yeah, hard cookies are good and all, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
>"But you just got home, we need even got to, uh, enjoy each other's company yet." You say with another wink.
>"Woah, that's not happening."
>"Why not Anon, we're clearly compatible why don't you want to do it?"
>Suddenly a thought crosses your mind.
>*gasp* "Are you waiting until marriage?"
>"Jesus, NOOO!"
>"I'm sorry if I ruined the surprise Anon, I can make it up to you if you want."
>You were about to wink for the third time that conversation but he started pushing you towards the door.
>As Anon opens the door he says: "I'm way to tired to deal with all this craziness today. I just can't handle the stress of a pony trying to get in my pants. So here's the door, just fly yourself..."
>Just then he looks outside and freezes mid sentence. His face looks like his brain broke.
>"What's wrong?" You say as you walk towards him, but then you see it too.
>A big machine that looks like it was designed for Anon, with straps to hold him in place and many lewd 'attachments'.
>And standing next to it is Fluttershy, her face not looking so well either.
>"Anoooonn, I've come to find you fetiiisssh!" She says as she pulls on a cord that starts up an engine that makes the whole thing move with frightening speed and aggression.
>Suddenly Anon slams the door and grabs you by the shoulders.
>"I thought you said you got rid of her!?"
>"I thought I did, I told her in a relationship. I didn't think she'd take it like this."
>"Well you thought wrong!"
>"I'm sorry, what do you want me to do?"
>"GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
>"Okay, let's think. We'll sneak you out the back door."
>"I don't have a back door!"

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>>29283082
>"Who doesn't have a back door?"
>"Dash, forget about the back door. You're her friend, go talk to her. If you can't get her to leave at least distract her so I can get away."
>He called you 'dash'... your heart might actually be melting right now.
>"Okay Non, I'll do it for you."
>As you exit the house to confront Fluttershy you can't help but smile. Anon called you 'dash', and the way he grabbed your shoulders, you'll have to remember that feeling.
>As you approach Fluttershy she looks confused to see you.
>"Wh- what are you doing here?"
>"I think I should ask you that Fluttershy. I see you built... something. "
>"Oh, th-this? It's a um, animal... massage machine, for the animals."
>"Fluttershy, I know you like Anon, but he doesn't really feel the same way about you. He just got done telling me he doesn't like anypony."
>"B-but you said he was seeing s-somepony, that he was in a relationship."
>"Well yeah, he is."
>"But h-how can he be dating somepony if he doesn't like ponies?"
>"Well he obviously likes me, why else would we be having dinner?"
>"You're the pony he's been seeing?" She asks as her voice slowly rises.
>Uh-oh.
>"You're the one who stole him away from me?!"
>"N-now calm down Fluttershy. It's nothing personal it's just that me and Anon are in love."
>Somehow she was now speaking clearly and you were the one stuttering. She can be scary if she wants to.
>"In love!? He was in love with me first! What makes you think he loves you?" She asks angrily.
>"We've been dating for a while a-and there's been talk of marriage..."

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>>29283229
>"WHAT!?"
>"Now Fluttershy, don't do anything crazy." You say to the mare standing next to a homemade rape machine.
>"Anon is going to marry me, I just need to guess his fetish!" She says as she flies to his door, not stopping as she busts it open.
>You fly after her to protect Anon, but neither of you can find him. He's not in any of the closets, not under the bed, he's just not there.
>"Yes! He must have got away while we were talking."
>"He won't get away from me, and you won't get him either." Fluttershy says as she flies back out the door.
>Now that she's gone, where did Anon say he was going to hide?
>Wait did he tell you at all? You'd better go look for him. You'd hate to think of what would happen if she found him first, that machine looks brutal.
>On second thought you are going to think of what would happen, just a little.

>Meanwhile
>"Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash aren't going to stop, they're just going to get worse and worse." A worried looking Anon says to himself as he hurries along.
>He's carrying a bag of clothes and is heading towards the train station.
>"If they won't listen to reason then I'm leaving. Maybe some time apart from me will help them regain their sanity."
>Once up to the counter the pony selling tickets asks him where to.
>"I need the first train out of here, I don't care where, just as long as it's too far to walk, or fly."
>The ticket pony looks a little confused as he sells Anon the ticket.
>"Something must have scared you pretty bad for you to be willing to go anywhere.
>"You don't know the half of it, and if any crazy looking pegasus mares come asking about me tell them you haven't seen me."
>"Ah, now I understand. I'll forget you were ever here friend."
>"Thanks." With that Anon got on the train that was scheduled to leave soon.
>Finally he would be free. With his savings he should be able to get a place at his new home. And finally he'd be able to sleep easy knowing that he wasn't going to have to worry about rape.

>>29283319
That's it for today. Fluttershy a shit and all that. See you guys next time.

>>29283319
Poor naive Anon, thinking that he can just get away from it all like that.

>>29283319
Man I love Dash's talent for damage control.

>>29284070
Yum-p

>>29284070
That's a pretty plush plot ya got there.

>>29283319
please continue

>>29288210
Why would she write in that font?
It's so unattractive.

>>29288772
What do you expect from worst horse.

>>29286231
Ya gotta speak directly into the vagina.

Whoa now!
Last thread of page 10, no dying tonight!

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>>29291901
>no dying tonight
FUCK YOU FLUTTERSHIT I AIN'T FALLIN' FOR YOUR TRICKS

Slump

As in the thread's in a slump from which it will never recover

Time to start shit

Priest is a dork, Slasher is overrated, and Raritan did nothing wrong

>>29293751
Time to actually start shit

Nebulus is a butt and NOT funny

I'm so sorry Nebulus I did not mean it

>Your name is Anonymous.
>Tonight is your anniversary, and baby, you're hitting all the right notes.
>You made her favorite dinner. Bought her favorite wine. Watched her favorite movie. And right now, you're putting her favorite Barry White album on the record player while your erection knocks shit off the lower shelves.
>Ahh, you love the smell of vinyl in the evening. Smells like victory.
>You saunter down the hall as "Can't Get Enough Of Your Love" plays. Cliche, perhaps, but fuck it. You're the champion. You can't lose. Not tonight.
>As you reach the bedroom, you use your rock hard dong to push the door open. There's no stopping the A-Train.
>"E-excuse me, mister..."
>Oh no.
>Scented candles. Rose petals. And in the middle of it all, Fluttershy. She shifts her hips slightly, aiming that perfect, heart-shaped ass right at you.
>Oh, god, what is she wearing? Too-tight thigh-high white stockings. Jesus, did Rarity make those for her? A bright pink ribbon around her throat, another tied in a big bow around her dock.
>Fight, man! Fight! Remember your lines! You can still win this! Fuck, she's biting her lower lip!
>"I ran away from home, and I don't have anywhere to go. I'm just so scared and lonely. If I could have a warm, safe place to sleep for the night... well, then I'd do just about anything."
>Fluttershy flicks her tail to the side, exposing her eager, sopping-wet sex to you. Her head tilts forward and she shoots you a smouldering look from under her brow.
>"Anything at all."

>>29293919

>FIGHT, DAMN YOU!
"All right, I give. You win."
>You fucking coward.
>With a triumphant giggle, your little yellow bride rolls fully onto her back, legs splaying to give you unfettered access to her temple. Immediately you begin raining kisses, licks, and love bites on her nethers and inner thighs.
>You think you hear her mutter something about being "too easy" but you're too busy working your lips up the length of her body pay much attention.
>Her hind legs wrap around you, gently guiding your hips home.
>With a primal, gutteral sound rumbling in your throat you rock your turgid member into her vicelike velvet folds. Fluttershy bucks her own hips up to meet yours, desperate to swallow every inch... and it almost feels as though the earth itself were moving.
>Wait, shit. The earth is actually moving.
>The whole house begins to shake, pictures and knick-knacks rattling off the walls. To your right, the very air begins to twist and distort, pulling back on itself into a tunnel of light.
>From within the maelstrom steps... another Fluttershy.
>From beneath you comes an exasperated, "Not this shit again."
>The other Fluttershy pauses, eyes flickering over you and your own Fluttershy frozen mid-coitus, and licks her lips.
>Shit. This is trouble.
>"O-Oh, my!" Crows the Othershy. "Naughty, naughty. Are threesomes with alternate reality versions of me your fetish, Anon?"
"No! Get the fuck out of here!"

>>29293930

>"Oh." Alternate Fluttershy appears crestfallen for the briefest of moments. "Did you get the chocolates I sent you?"
"They weren't chocolates, they were roofies you dipped in chocolate. Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to pork my wife."
>"Well before I go, could you tell me if this rag smells like chloroform?"
>You feel your spouse's banana-colored coat bristling against your undercarriage. "What is your problem? Can you not get laid in your own dimension, so you have to come here and crap up mine?"
>Othershy gasps indignantly and looks to you. "Are you going to let her talk to me like that?"
>Your Fluttershy lets out a bestial growl, nearly leaping out of bed at her alternate self. You sit up, giving her the wiggle room she needs to scoop up the alarm clock from the end table and hurl it with frightening accuracy into the dead center of her doppleganger's forehead.
>Squealing in fear and pain, Othershy disappears back into the vortex. The rift seals behind her with an almost comical popping sound.
>"Can you believe that bitch?"

>>29293941

"Last week she showed up at the office and sprinkled crushed-up calcium supplements on my salad at lunch. I think she thought they were sleeping pills."
>"I'm getting SO tired of her shit. I dont... I cant even...!" Oh, boy. She's all puffed up and angry. This will not end well for you.
>Your Fluttershy tries to settle back into your arms, but you can tell she's still fuming. After a moment she rolls out of bed and stalks gruffly towards the door.
>"I'm sorry, baby. I'm no good for you right now. I need some bourbon put in me." She throws open the door and heads toward the living room, her adorably incoherent curses echoing back towards you. Barry White stops playing and you can hear bottles in the liquor cabinet rattling around.
>You sigh. Yet another romantic evening ruined by
>Fucking Alternate Reality Fluttershy

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She was a model once, how can you keep turning her down?

>>29293949
I-I wish i had an alternate reality Fluttershy like that, and not a crazy one that what we've got. Damn she's cute, but heck! She tried sewing our genitals together so we could never be apart.

>>29294563
That would be nice.

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>>29293751
I liked Raritan.

>>29297133
Whatever happened to Raritan anyhow?

>>29297382
Rarity turned out to be Fluttershy painted and he couldn't handle it.

>>29293751
There were always much better writers here
It confused me a bit as well

>>29298135
That would be pretty shocking.

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Fluttershy hopes someone around here likes pets.

She can be a pet, if you don't mind.

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>>29299286
I wouldn't mind a pet Fluttershy.

When will Fluttershy find love?

>>29300406
When Anons fly.

Flying Bump~

>>29301046
>oh anon let's go for a flight I'll carry you~

>>29301650
Not 100% sure why, but I don't quite trust flying with this yellow horse.

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page 10

Don't die overnight.

Bampo

>>29251817
What is his jizz crazy glue because that would be funny in more then anything.

>>29305096
Yes.

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She looks so soft.

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>>29305096
I heard you can semen your sexual partner's butt cheeks together if you ejaculate into them anso let it dry in their sleep.
Now imagine doing that to a pony!

>>29307859
God, that'd be worse for them.
I've ejaculated in such a way where I got some on my thigh and didn't know it. But the time all was said and done and I was on my way, it had dried against my balls. Was a little annoying, but all I could think was thank god I shave down there.
A pony and their fur... that seems as though it could get annoying in a slightly painful sense.

>>29229600
Storee

Boop

>>29304836
That's a nice picture.

>>29310858
bump

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Would you?

Goddammit. You assholes still don't have any new green.
I guess I have to post this now.

>You got up that morning, poured yourself a bowl of Cinnamon Oats Crunch, and waited for Fluttershy to come knock on your chamber door.
>She wasn’t the only obsessed pony that you had after your HMD, but she was the one that came every day.
>Which was sort of a blessing in disguise, since she was the easiest one to handle.
>Some questions in life are very easy to answer.
>The reason kids like the taste of Cinnamon Oats Crunch, for instance, is because one of the ingredients in the cereal happens to be sugar.
>Some questions in life have no answer.
>Here’s one, a human wakes up one day to find that he now exists in a world where sapient Technicolor ponies are the dominant species, how did he get there?
>The answer, of course, is that he doesn’t even know.
>And there are some questions in life where the answer just doesn’t matter.
>Why in the world, would any of these ponies find you attractive?
>It doesn’t matter.
>Because those ponies that do like you all seem to have either mental or communicational difficulties anyway.
>It’s the only answer you can think of. These ponies are basically people, except in the ways that they aren’t—which are many.
>Ask them why they love you, and you’ll just get a stupid answer like “Oh, there’s just something about you I can’t resist” or something else just as vague.
>So it boils down to this: There are crazy ponies in Equestria, just the same as there were crazy people back on Earth.
>The real problem here is that, because you’re an alien now, you naturally attract the crazy ones to you.
>At least you’re bigger than them, and thus can usually handle yourself just fine whenever they get too forward with you.
>Other than that though, life remains to be lived.

>>29313299
>So you looked at the back of the cereal box, to see if there’s an activity to amuse yourself.
>But there was just a cutout activity. Those always suck.
>This one wanted you to cut out the square along the dotted lines, fill in the blanks with information, and then have you mail it to their headquarters.
>‘Make Your Own Bill of Legislature’ it said. ‘That’s right, fillies and colts, now you too can pass laws just like the grownups do! All you got to do . . .’
>It’s such bullshit. You were hoping that it was going to be a maze or something. Those kick ass.
>Just then the knock at your door that you were waiting for led you from your chair to see what was in store.
>You put on the most unenthusiastic look you can muster and open the door
>There’s no one there, but you look down and see a note
>It reads, ‘This Note is a Distraction’
A distraction for what?
>The sound of shattering glass crawled up your back.
>From behind you came grunting, and the dull thuds of clumsy limbs trying to find footing; all signs of an inexperienced burglar.
>But the perpetrator, whoever she is, is making way too much noise for her to be Fluttershy.
>You didn’t turn around right away. It was so nice earlier, how you were just eating cereal and letting your mind wander and enjoying yourself.
>And now some conflict has come up that you just know you’re going to have to deal with.
>It’s so fucking boring sometimes.
>Turning around you saw Princess Luna, surrounded by broken glass, wincing as she got up out of the awkward position she had fallen into on your floor.
>She rubbed her neck, and then noticed that her sister was stuck in your broken kitchen window, making her snicker in Celestia’s flustered face.
>Luna tried to pull Celestia through your broken kitchen window, but she was stuck down by her waist and whenever Luna tugged Celestia cried in pain.
>“We must advance, dear sister.”
>“I’m trying,” Celestia said with a grunt.

>>29313314
>“Perhaps if you twist—”
>“I am twisting!”
>“Well, maybe if you sucked in your stomach—”
>“I am!”
>“Are you sure?”
>“Yes. I’m sure.”
>“Then you must suck it in more.”
>“I can’t do that. I’m already sucking it as much as I can.”
>Luna snapped and said:
>“Well, surely you can suck in more than enough to get your backside through a window.”
>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Celestia asked indignantly
>“Nothing at all,” Luna said innocently. “But perhaps if you just wiggled your great posterior a bit more—”
>Celestia stretched her arms forward in an attempt to throttle her sister.
>But it was to no avail, and Luna goadingly called her “Big Sister” when she struggled further.
>It has been a while since you’ve seen these two.
>The two rulers of Equestria belonged to the club of crazy ponies that you had mentioned earlier.
>They hadn’t yet noticed you.
>Which was good because they were very powerful, much more powerful than you could handle.
>So far they haven’t raped you yet, as they’re usually too busy with their duties to bother you.
>They gave you a rough time sometimes, but you always escaped them either through luck or your own superior human strength™.
>But they were still not to be trifled with though, and you were going to have to tackle this conflict with some finesse.
What the fuck are you two doing in my house?!
>They froze in place. Your outburst had taken their breath away.
>Now they were nervous. You showed them that you were angry, that you meant business, that—
>Celestia groaned and said to her sister:
>“I thought you said you had placed a good distraction at his doorstep.”
>“Are you questioning my methods!” Luna exclaimed. “My distraction was adequate enough for our sojourn until your big butt bumped us into this predicament we are stuck in.”
>Celestia’s face was red, and so was yours.

>>29313336
>What drove you crazy about these two was that, they were both so powerful and capable, that they paid you very little mind whenever they were trying to rape you.
What are you two doing here!
>“If you must know,” Luna said, “we had come here with the purpose of purloining your drawers.”
>That can’t be all, but it’s a start.
>“Don’t tell him that, Luna.”
>But Luna ignored her sister, and continued:
>“Once they were in our possession, we were going to sniff them verily until we were driven mad with lust.
>“And then, once we were blinded by our urges, we were going to storm your house, overwhelm you, and eventually have our way with your heavenly body.”
>Your heart jumped into your throat. In Luna’s eyes you could see that she had no shame in her confession.
>You looked to Celestia, who smiled awkwardly.
>“It is not really as bad as she’s making it seem,” she said with a careless wave of her hoof.
>“We were going to take your underwear, but the rest was pure fantasy.”
Well, I don’t like your fantasies—and those aren’t something you should go around sharing with others willy-nilly anyway.
Now leave.
>“I’m afraid that we can’t,” said Celestia with a grunt. “Or, at least I can’t. I’m a bit stuck at the moment.”
Right. Oh, thanks for breaking my window, by the way.
>“It was a grand entrance,” said Luna with pride. “If only you had seen how graceful I had been.”
Okay, Luna, there’s no reason you can’t leave.
>“I have to take your garments first,” said Luna, casually trotting out of the kitchen.
>You were going to go after her, but Celestia grunted again and you realized that, until she was free, neither of them would leave.
>Besides that, your drawers are all under lock and key now.
>And, to make sure nobody fucked with it, you had Zecora enchant the lock.
>So Luna is shit out of luck when she gets up there and sees that monster lock you bought.

>>29313355
>Celestia was resting from a previous thrashing towards freedom when you approached her.
>She smiled at you with flushed cheeks and heavy breath.
>You took her front hooves and pulled her, but she would not budge.
>You thought aloud:
Your hips are wedged in my window, and you didn’t make it in far enough to be pulled through.
>“Perhaps if you pushed me from outside, while I pushed from where I am, I would come out.”
Yeah, that could work. I’ll—
>From the hall you heard Luna say, “So that was your plan all along then!”
>She came into the room, your fifteen-pound lock, now broken, in her magical aura.
>Fucking Zecora.
>Luna eyed her sister with a sly, knowing smile.
>“Your plan was clever, dear sister. But now, only when you are ready to reap its benefits, do I see its inner mechanisms laid out before me.”
>You looked at Celestia, confused, and she again waved a hoof to dismiss her sister.
>“Oh, do not fall for her coy act,” Luna said to you. “I know now that my big sister has been planning this for a while now.”
I’m not falling for it, you said. Thanks for breaking my lock, by the way.
>Luna ignored you, her eye still pointed at her sister.
>“The lack of self-control around sweets and the increase in your sloth were baffling to me once, but now I know the reason for your actions, dear sister.”
>Luna pointed an accusatory hoof at her.
>“To put it in layman’s terms: You got fat on purpose, knowing that you would get stuck in this very window and thus force him to vigorously push on your flanks to get you out!”
>Luna, quite pleased with herself, sighed and held her head up high.
>“You might as well admit I’m right, because I know I am.”
>A polite strain on your manners, for Celestia’s sake, kept you from laughing aloud at the absolute stupidity of Luna’s outburst.
>“Well, you figured it out,” Celestia said bitterly to her sister. “You didn’t have to ruin two months of work for me though.”
Excuse me?

>>29313382
>“You should have told me about such a plan,” said Luna. “We could have had great fun reaping the benefits together.”
>Her face, pinched in sadness, made her face away from her sister.
>“You could have told me,” she said. “But instead I felt left out.”
>“I didn’t know that,” said Celestia apologetically. “You have a great body, and I wouldn’t want you to ruin it. I was already getting fat, so it was no loss to me.”
>“Do not say such harsh things about yourself, sister. You are a great beauty, and that is why you rule the brilliant sun.”
>“You really think so?” Celestia asked
>“Of course I do. Even when I tease you I think that.”
>“I had no idea. I really thought . . .”
>They shared a tender smile with each other, their understanding eyes telling of a bond that valued love over all other feelings.
>The two of them embraced, and then looked over at you, both chuckling in embarrassment.
>“I hope our little moment didn’t make you feel awkward,” said Celestia
Oh, I’m so touched you remembered me. Why are you motherfuckers still in my house!
>Luna trembled at your outburst, and then said, “I have never gotten so aroused so quickly after a moment of tenderness.”
>She took a heavy step towards you, and you took a tentative step backwards.
>“This must be how passionate lovers feel,” she said as she stared at you.
>You watched her hunger grow, feeling like you were a caged animal.
>“We must mate, before such a feeling is gone,” she said as she jumped towards you.
>But thankfully Celestia grabbed her sister’s tail with her magic, stopping her from assaulting you.
>She calmed her sister’s excitement, and Luna regaining her composure, said:
> “You must forgive me my outburst, as these have been very eventful times. But it is not yet the right time to inflict my desires upon you.”
>She humbly smiled at you.
Whatever. Let’s just get your sister out of my window.
>You pointed at Luna.

>>29313389
And you’re going to be the one pushing from outside, got it?
>The two sisters shared a look of horror with each other.
>But then, as if they had shared a secret in those looks, they both regained composure and Luna’s horn began to glow.
>Luna shot a loud, violet beam at her sister, and the flash from it blinded you.
>Vision returning, you saw that Celestia was free and brushing her coat of the debris that was on it, as your wall now had a big hole blasted in it.
>“Well, I’m glad that business is over with,” said Celestia. “I was beginning to cramp.”
>“Verily. I do love you sister, but not enough to push on your flanks in such a way.”
>“I do not expect you to love me so much.”
My fucking wall!
>Fueled by your anger, you began pushing the two horses out of your house.
Get the fuck out of my house now!
>But you feel them pick you up with their magic, and they hold you up in the air where you thrash and curse.
>“We feel that we must explain something to you now, that we were originally going to keep from you,” said Celestia.
>“This is no longer your house,” said Luna. “We have taken it for ourselves on the grounds that it is of incomparable military wealth, strategy wise.”
Like hell!
>Luna presented you the paperwork of their claims, which was just the Make Your Own Bill of Legislature game on the back of the cereal box.
>It looked like they had filled out the necessary info.
You two couldn’t even be arsed to use the official paperwork.
>“Well, we are very busy on any given day,” said Celestia.
You assholes! You’re insulting me with this kids shit!
>“You can still live here,” said Celestia, ignoring you.
>“But this is no longer your property. The government has acquired it, for it is in the interest of national security that this spot be fortified.”
>Just then six members of the Royal Guard file into your house, and Luna starts giving them some orders.

>>29313407
So . . . you’re going to turn my house into a fortress?
>“No. We are the fortress!” Luna exclaimed with pride.
>“We’re the two most powerful ponies in Equestria,” Celestia explained. “We’re all that a proper fortress really needs for protection.”
>“The guards are here merely to serve us,” said Luna.
>There was a silence after that, and as they smiled at you the full weight of your predicament bared down.
>These two crazy powerful rapists could now by law live with you in your home.

>You struggled.
>“Is it really so bad? I honestly do not see what the big deal is?”
>You still struggled. Celestia watched you curiously for a bit, then shrugged and started eating her cereal again.
>“Well, if you feel that you must try to break free”—she made a gesture of free will towards you—“then by all means, you do so.”
Oh, I will, you fucking bitch, you said viciously to her.
>Celestia hummed, but was uninterested in you at the moment.
>She kept eating her cereal—which was really your cereal that she just helped herself to.
>The two of you were sat at your table. But you had been bound by ropes and clear tape to your seat.
>You wiggled in your restraints again.
>“We said that we were going to free you eventually,” she said. “There’s really no need for such effort.”
And when I do break free, I’m running right to Twilight, you said, ignoring her. I’ll get her to use the Elements on you two.
>Celestia started slurping at her milk, but she still nodded pedantically at what you were saying.
Seriously, I’ll say that you and your sister have lost your minds, have both now become threats to Equestria, and would be better off as a couple of memorial statues in—
>The loud flash of a spell being cast filled the kitchen with blinding blue light, interrupting you.
>When your vision returned, you first heard “Darn this accursed memory of mine” and you knew then that it was Luna.

>>29313422
>She had been trying to fix your wall with her magic for an hour now, with little success, as she had forgotten the specific spell that she needed.
>After they had restrained you—as a precaution, in case you went AWOL and gave away the location of their fortress to an enemy scout, according to Celestia—they asked you if there was anything they could do to make you more comfortable with the idea of living with them.
>Assisted suicide was vetoed.
>So you asked them for something that you thought would be simple for them, fix your wall.
>Luna offered her services, saying that she got first dibs on quality time with you if she succeeded.
>But she’d only made things worse, since she started trying to help.
>Now you not only had a pile of debris on the floor where there was once a complete wall.
>No, that just wasn’t good enough.
>Now it was a flaming pile of debris.
>Luna put a force-field around it until the smoke smothered the fire.
>Then she came to the table, plopped down in her chair and kept her head down in anger.
>As you were trying to keep as quiet as possible, to avoid another of Luna’s mood swings, Celestia slurped her milk again, the sucking sound lapping the air for half of a minute.
>She set the bowl down, smacked her lips, and then said:
>“Are you having some difficulties, little sister?”
>“Button thine lip, fatso,” she sneered in response.
>“This fatso,” she said, “now has first dibs on quality time with The Bazooka.”
>They said you needed a new military nickname, for the fortress, and they went with The Bazooka for some reason.
>Celestia smiled sweetly at her sister, in spite of the opposing frown, before turning her attention back to her milk.
>“Not like you’ll make him blow, anyway,” Luna said bitterly, just to have the last word.
>“Guard!” Luna barked.
>One of the Royal Guards came to Luna’s aid.
>He stood at attention and awaited orders.

File: 111970__safe_fluttershy_simple+background_vector_transparent+background_crying_sad_artist-colon-brovic43.png (62KB, 900x358px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 900x358px

>It's been two weeks since Anon left.
>You and Fluttershy had been looking all over him but neither of you have been able to find him.
>Some ponies had seen him that day but no one really knew where he was going. And no one saw him leave town.
>You've just sort of given up at this point, which was hard for the element of loyalty to do.
>Speaking of loyalty, you had really been very loyal to your friend Fluttershy. The two of you had never argued like that.
>So to make it up for her you decided to have lunch with her this afternoon. At the same place you and Anon had eaten back when you were still together...
>Crying is lame, better not do that during lunch.
>You had been sitting here for a while waiting for Fluttershy. You started to think she wasn't coming, but sure enough right as the thought entered your head you saw Fluttershy.
>She sits down at the table with you but doesn't say a word. It's kinda awkward so you decide to start the conversation.
>"Hey Fluttershy, nice day isn't it?"
>"...uh-huh"
>"So how are you?"
>"Oh, you know, just *mumble mumble*"
>She must still be upset by all that happened. After all she liked Anon for longer than you did, even if their relationship never went anywhere.
>"I know how you feel Fluttershy, I haven't been a very good friend, I just mis-"
>"I'm sorry Rainbow! It wasn't your fault. I know better than to yell at my friends, and over Anon of all things. I should've never acted that way."
>"W-what? You mean you aren't mad at me?"
>"Of course not! I don't know why but just being around him made me act crazy, and now that he's gone it's like I'm back to normal. I know it's bad to say but I-I'm almost g-glad he's gone."
>She was teary eyed and being pretty open right now, you two hadn't talked like this for a while.
>"You're glad he's gone? Why?"
>"Because he made us both turn on each other."
>"Yeah I guess we were pretty bad to each other. Sorry for that."
>"I've seen this sort of thing before with my animals before."

>>29313441
>>29313460

Oh shit, sorry bro. I'll continue my story later.

>>29313441
>Luna, without even looking at him, told him to get her a cart of Moon Pie’s.
And fix my wall, while you’re at it, you said as he passed.
>“No!” said Luna. “I will fix your wall, when I remember the spell. I just need my brain food first.”
>If that’s the case, then she’ll need a buffet.
>Except for the sound of your chair rocking on the floor, as you tried to escape, it was quiet at the table for a while.
>A guard brought Celestia the morning paper and she turned immediately to a page in the middle.
>As her eyes scanned the page, she chortled.
>She showed the page to Luna, who also laughed.
>“The funnies are amusing today,” she said.
>“I knew you’d like that one,” Celestia said.
>These bitches are ignoring you again.
>And while you’re trying to escape, too!
>They think you’re such a small threat to them. That you can’t escape.
>You’ll show them.
>You released your greatest effort of wiggling, putting your entire body into it.
>And that’s when your chair fell forward, and your face landed in the bowl of cold cereal that you had been eating before.
>Now your face was stuck.
>Bubbles were forming in the milk as the breath you were holding escaped from your nose.
>It occured to you that, technically, you could drown this way.
>You wouldn’t mind dying before the princesses got to use you, honestly.
>But dying in a bowl of soggy cereal, well, there was just no dignity in that.
>And just then, you ran out of breath. Your drowning had officially begun.
>Those bitches, they could have saved you anytime they felt like it.
>So what the fuck were they waiting for?
>Just then you heard Luna guffaw in laughter.
>“These comics are really killing you,” said Celestia.
>“What?”
>“You find them humorous.”
>“Well, yes. And I do not see what death has to do with that.”
>“It’s just an expression. You haven’t heard it at all since you’ve been back?”
>“No. The world is so different from what it was.”

>>29313471
No worries. I might be a while, though. Sorry.

>>29313474
>“Some of it is good, though.”
>“Oh, yes.”
>There was a pause. You heard the newspaper fold.
>“Oh shoot. Is he dying?”
>“Pull him out.”
>Magic lifted you until your chair sat securely on the floor again.
>You coughed up the milk which sat in your throat and, later, a guard came to wipe the soggy cereal squares that were stuck to your cheek.
>You grimaced. The whole act was just humiliating to you.
>There was no reason you could not clean yourself—if those bitches would have just untied you!
>“Now do you see why you shouldn’t struggle?” Celestia said. “You could’ve gotten hurt.”
>“Verily,” said Luna. Then, turning to her sister, “And just how imagine how boring the rutting would be, if he were to die.”
>You had to get out of there somehow.
>But you were helpless in that state.
>Just then there was a knock at the door.
>“My Moon Pies,” Luna said, as she trotted to answer.
>Wait, why would one of the guards. . .
>“We shall feast tonight,” she said, opening the door—only to stare in shock at a very confused Fluttershy on your front step.
>“Princess Luna, what are you doing here?” she asked, a bit wary of her after hearing her last comment about eating (perhaps some old Nightmare Night anxieties never die).
Go get Twilight! Fluttersh—
>After that first scream Celestia pushed your chair forward with magic and soon you were drowning again, while she looked the other way, pretending not to notice.
>Fluttershy tried to enter after hearing your call, but Luna blocked her with every step.
>And when she tried to look past her, Luna spread her wings so that she couldn’t see anything.
>Fluttershy backed away and looked at the princess firmly.
>“What’s going on in there?”
>Luna took on a very professional air and produced the back of the box where they had written their legislature.

>>29313497
>She began her decree, informing Fluttershy that she was trespassing on government grounds, and thus impeding military progress with her illegal actions.
>Luna went on to say that if she did not leave she would be arrested and face serious legal consequences.
>Now if Fluttershy had heard any of this, it’s possible she would have just backed away slowly from the imposing princess.
>But she had not listened from the start, and while Luna had been talking she had snuck past her and found the sordid scene of illegal actions that were happening on government property.
>Panicked, she first pulled you out of the cereal and made sure you were alright.
>Then the predictable barrage of questions came, which Celestia (and eventually Luna) pleaded ignorance to.
>Upon realizing that she was not going to break through their stubbornness, Fluttershy hovered in the air, crossed her arms, and looked down on them with disappointment on her face.
“I just can’t believe how selfish you two have acted this morning,” she said, “coming into his home uninvited, breaking part of his wall, kidnapping him against his will, just so that later you can take advantage of him.”
>And she went on in this vein, which was effective enough to make the guards turn away from the scene in embarrassment.
>By the end of Fluttershy’s speech Princess Celestia and Luna both looked very ashamed.
>Even though all the shit she reprimanded them for were all things that she done to you before, you were still happy that she seemed to be getting through to them.
>You just really hoped that, if she did get through to them, they would untie you first before leaving you alone with her.
>“Now,” Fluttershy said, “I think that the two of you owe this poor human an apology.”
>She gestured over to you and the princesses looked out from their downturned brows to meet your eyes.
>“We’re sorry,” Celestia said weakly.
>“Sorry,” said Luna.

>>29313505
>Fluttershy urged them to do better, and soon they had apologized to you at least a dozen times.
>It was actually kind of nice seeing them humble themselves before you for a change.
>Fluttershy must’ve noticed the surprised smile on your face, because she was staring sweetly at you now.
>Her eyes were bright with happiness and her smile was humble, as if to say “This is what you deserve”
>And by the time you saw the roll of tape being levitated by blue magic behind her shoulder, with a rope not far behind snaking up her back, you knew it was too late to warn her.

Why couldn’t you just go get Twilight?
>“I thought I was helping.”
You were, for a while. But then you got distracted, while I was still tied up!
>“I thought they had empathized with your plight.”
They’re rapists, Fluttershy. They’re crazy, fucking rapists, and they have no empathy to give. You, of all ponies, should know that.
>“I’m so sorry.”
Oh, just shut up.
>You and her were side by side, with her tied up in another chair.
>A couple guards were watching you both while Celestia and Luna were doing something in some other room.
>Whatever it was, you were sure that it did not bode well for you.
>“What do you think they’re going to do with us?”
Well, I know what they’re going to do to me.
>“Oh, how awful.”
Be quiet.
Then, a bit hopefully, you said:
Hey, I just thought of something.
>“What?”
Maybe they’ll rape you, too.
>“What!”
As payback or something.
>“But I don’t want to be raped.”
Well shit, Fluttershy, who does?
>This sentiment didn’t seem to comfort her at all.
>Good. You didn’t want to comfort her.
>“Hello,” said a new voice.
>All eyes turned to the corner of the room, where out of the hole in the wall came hovering a grey pegasus pony with honey-colored mane and eyes that were slightly askew.
>She was carrying her saddlebag full of mail.
Derpy, you called to her.

>>29313527
>Her head swiveled towards you, with one eye facing forward and the other more interested in something towards the east.
>You’ve trained yourself to just look at her muzzle when speaking to her.
>She lit up when she saw you, and, looking at the ropes, she wondered aloud if you were doing some kind of magic trick with Fluttershy.
>“Can I watch, if you are?”
>Then, hitting her head with her hoof, she said:
>“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. You have to replace your mailbox.”
My mailbox? Why?
>“Well,” said Fluttershy, “you see, for today’s fetish guess, I wanted—”
I want my mailbox back when we get out of this, you said to her sternly.
>Derpy landed and approached you, prompting one of the guards to step in front of her.
>“I’m afraid you can’t be here, ma’am,” he said. “This is government property that you’re trespassing on.”
>Derpy scrunched her muzzle and then reached in her saddlebag.
>“But I work for the government.”
>She presented her post office identification to them.
>The guards looked at each other and then asked her if she had official business.
>She nodded, her id still in her mouth, then put it away and said:
>“He needs his mail”—she pointed at you—“and I’m the delivery mare.”
>The guards looked unsurely at each other.
>“That makes sense,” one of them said.
>“I guess we should let her see him,” said the other.
>They moved to a remote corner of the room and Derpy was at your feet now.
>“So how has your day been,” she said nonchalantly.
>“If I had to guess,” she said, one eye going over your ropes again, “I’d say pretty swell and full of fun myself.”
>You sighed and wondered how Derpy, who just reasoned a guard into disobeying a direct order from both princesses, could still be so stupid.
Derpy, listen to me. You have to go tell Twilight something for me.
>“Oh, that’s the route I’m taking now,” she said. “What do you want me to tell her?”

>>29313547
>Not only was she kind of stupid, but you were also unaware of how much she knew about your rapist situation.
Okay, this is going to sound weird, but Princess Celestia and Luna are in my house right now.
>She looked at you with one disbelieving eye.
I’m serious. They’re somewhere in my house right now.
>She blew a raspberry and told you to stop kidding her.
Goddammit, Derpy. Why else would the fucking guard be here?
>“It’s true,” said Fluttershy.
>“Yeah,” said one of the guards in the corner. “I’m missing my mom’s birthday for this.”
>Derpy looked around the room, then put on a thoughtful face (but with one eye watching your old bowl of cereal).
>Then she blinked once, for a moment aligning her eyes, and said slowly to you:
>“They’re really here.”
Yes. And—
>Derpy opened her mouth in shock and let loose an excited wail, similar in sound to a shrill whistle.
>You nearly had a heart attack. Even the guards in the corner recoiled from it.
>“I can’t believe it,” she said, hovering slightly in the air from happiness. “They’re really here.”
Would you shut—
>“You don’t know,” she said, “just how badly I’ve wanted to meet the princesses all these years.”
Derp—
>“It’s so frustrating, too, because year after year they always seemed to come for a visit whenever I had to work.”
>“Um, Derpy,” said Fluttershy, “do you think—”
>“And then there was the Summer Sun Celebration,” said Derpy. “I almost saw Princess Celestia that time, until Nightmare Moon took her away.”
>“Ma’am,” said a guard, “could you please just deliver the mail, and then exit—”
>“But then imagine my shock,” said Derpy, “when I found out later that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna held a parade the next day—and I missed it because of my morning route.”
>Just then the two princesses entered the room, saw Derpy, and shared a worried look with each other

>>29313559
>They gestured towards her, turning to the room in annoyance, and Luna said:
>“And just who is this?”
>“I was so mad,” Derpy chuckled, with the princesses behind her. “You wouldn’t believe.”
>She twirled in the air, unaware, saying, “And I’ve been dying to meet them ever since—”until“—oh my gosh, they’re here!”
>Her wings failed and she fell to the ground.
>But she quickly got up, dusted her coat, and, ignoring her blush, eagerly took Celestia’s hoof in hers.
>“I’m so glad to meet you,” she said, shaking Celestia’s hoof. “You’re my favorite princess.
>Derpy let go of Celestia’s hoof, and Celestia lost her look of confusion and turned playful, nudging her sister with her elbow and saying:
>“Did you hear? I’m her favorite.”
>Luna scowled, but Derpy, unaware of her sour face, took her hoof next and said:
>“And it’s so good to meet you, too. Maybe even better, since mostly no pony sees you except at night.”
>Luna nudged her sister.
>“Did you hear that? Did you hear how common she just made you sound?”
>“Be quiet, second best.”
>“Fatso.”
>Derpy bowed before their hooves.
>“I am in awe of both of you,” she said. “I’ve worked for the Equestrian Post Office for seven years now, hoping that I’ve done my part to help serve your great kingdom.”
>Celestia and Luna’s attentions were diverted to her now, and Celestia, smiling humbly, said, “You mean our great kingdom, my dear subject.”
>Derpy, blushing and snorting, looked back at you over her shoulder.
>“I just got corrected by the princess,” she said excitedly. “I mean, talk about Wow.”
>Celestia asked Derpy to rise, and then she filled her full of hot, ego-inflating gas by telling her how proud she was that she had such a model pony working to serve their kingdom.
>“But that’s the thing,” Derpy said. “I want to do more for our kingdom. That’s why I wanted to see you both.”

>>29313577
>She got down on her knees in a pleading stance.
>“I know deep down that I’m not a very important pony—even in my own office,” she said. “But do you think you could trust me someday to do something very important for our kingdom.”
>She looked up at them with humble eye (the other was looking at something on the floor, but it could still be said that the eye had just as humble a look as the directed one).
>“I’m a very good delivery pony,” she said. “Maybe I could deliver an important package for you one day.”
Yeah, to Twilight, hopefully.
>“And today,” said Fluttershy, “if it’s not too much trouble.”
>Celestia and Luna went to private corner of the room to consult each other.
>When they came back they had calm smiles.
>“There is something you can do,” said Celestia. “And it’s a task that is not too arduous to accomplish.”
>“You don’t even have to leave this room,” said Luna.
>“Really?” said Derpy hopefully. “What is it?”
>Celestia and Luna exchanged brief, knowing glances with each other, and then their horns were illuminated with their auras.
>“We want you,” said Luna, “to stay in this room.”

>“This is so exciting,” said Derpy. “I’ve never had to perform a royal duty before.”
>She looked within a part of herself, with one eye drifting as usual, and then turned to you.
>“Do you think I’m doing a good job so far?” she asked nervously.
>You glanced briefly at her, tied up next to you, and then fixed your dark eyes forward.
>Forward, was where the two princesses where; Celestia, humming contentedly, and Luna, opening up a small jar.
>They were pulling rubber gloves up their arms, and then lubing them up with a slick clear jelly.
>The gloves reached up to their armpits.
>On the other side of you was Fluttershy, with eyes glowering at you like two smoldering mine tunnels.
>The thought of being raped by Celestia and Luna’s long noodle arms was still upsetting her.

>>29313595
>You tried to ignore her anger, and the sound of the slime being rubbed onto long stretches rubber, and the—
>“I’d hate to screw up and disappoint the princesses, you know.”
Shut up, Derpy, you said quietly.
>“All done,” said Celestia, with arms shining in the sunlight from the hole in the wall.
>“Should we do our horns, too?” said Luna.
>Celestia smiled devilishly at her sister, and said:
“You’re so bad, Luna. We’ve never tried this with our horns before.”
>Silence for a moment.
>“But yes, let’s prep the horns, too.”
>Luna levitated the jar of jelly to her face and made a face, seeing that it was empty.
>A small bastion of hope, perhaps.
>“Well, that’s why we brought extra jelly,” said Celestia calmly.
>Your ass hurts already, but that could be because you’ve been in the same chair for nearly ninety minutes.
>Just then there was a knock on the door.
>Derpy gasped, happy to have another pony around to see her with the princesses.
>The two princesses groaned, with Luna saying that they needed to remember to bring extra chairs, as well as jelly, next time.
>You and Fluttershy got your hopes up, only to have them dashed when a guard entered, pulling a cart full of Moon Pies in behind him.
>Luna’s eyes turned to stars and she approached the cart, her mouth slightly open and a bit of drool leaking out the side.
>“Luna, get back here,” said Celestia, stamping her hoof. “You were supposed to finish off my horn.”
>Her horn was wrapped tight with one of the gloves.
>There were rubber bands tied around it to keep it in place, and they were wrapped around the natural grooves in her horn, which now looked almost like an earthworm.
>Luna began eating herself into a coma, a most favorable spectacle to watch when you join the guard, while Celestia walked across the room to get a jar of jelly.

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>>29313605
>It was during this moment of distraction that you noticed, near the hole, was a familiar pink pony, currently preoccupied with making enormous balloon animals out of the gloves left by Celestia.
>You and Fluttershy, being careful, called Pinkie over to see you both.
>“Hi,” she said, also in a throaty whisper. “Why are we talking like this?”
>“I don’t know,” said Derpy, now joining them, with one eye still looking at a giraffe Pinkie had made by the hole.
>“But do you see?” she said, pointing down with her chin. “We’re helping the princesses. Isn’t that neat?”
>“Oh, that’s what you’re doing,” said Pinkie. “I was wondering. It looked like fun, whatever it was.”
>“It was,” said Derpy happily.
>“What do you mean it was?” asked Pinkie. “Are you not doing it anymore?”
>“What?”
What are you doing here? you asked Pinkie.
>Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a clipboard, saying that the guard who ordered the Moon Pies left without signing for them.
Well, don’t do that yet. Think you can untie us, without the princesses getting wise?
>Pinkie saluted, the solemnity of your voice clearly not registering with her at all.
>“Hey,” said Derpy, turning to you, “we can’t do that.”
We’ll leave you.
>“Oh,” she said, “well, you better. That’s all I’m saying.”
>Besides occasionally rolling under the table when one of the guards looked your way, Pinkie was able to untie you and Fluttershy quickly and safely.
>Luna had fallen asleep in the cart. She was swole-bellied with the miracle of junk food.
>The guards working on Celestia’s horn were almost finished slicking her up with jelly.
>And as soon as you were free, you began planning your esca—
>“Excuse me,” said Pinkie, tapping one of the guards on the shoulder, “but you left without signing for the Moon Pies.”
>You froze in place as the guard, apologizing mechanically, turned around.

>>29313632
>“Wait a second,” he said upon seeing Pinkie, “who authorized that you could be here?”
>Pinkie folded her ears.
>“I didn’t know I needed authorization,” she said.
>Then, turning to you, she asked, “Why would I need that, anyway?”
>The guard followed her gaze, and in a second his spear had slipped out of his hoof and he was shouting “Princess! Princess Celestia!”
>You turned angrily on Pinkie.
Why would you do that?
>“I was just doing my job,” she said, shrugging. “Like you should have been doing—did you know you got fired today?”
>“Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me,” said Derpy. “He was supposed to stay in his seat.”
>She looked around and then leaned towards Pinkie, as if telling a secret, and told her that it was your royal duty to stay seated.
>Pinkie, turning to you, said in shock, “You didn’t tell me I was breaking the law!”
>Celestia stamped her hoof and it echoed through the room like the hammer of a judge.
>The room, under the scrutiny of her eyes, highlighted for her the evidence of your escape, and a patronizing smile made clear the amusement she felt towards your efforts.
>Her horn, still sleek, pointed slightly towards you, making your heart quiver.
>“That’s something I like about you,” she said. “Just when my sister and I think that we’ve got you is when you manage to surprise us and sneak out under our muzzles.”
>Underneath its glove, her horn illuminated itself, the sound of its energy increasing.
>“Your resistance to us, it . . . Well, it’s different.”
>It was futile to flee under the direct power of her magic, so you did not.
>Fluttershy buried her face into your thigh in fear and said that she had always loved you.
>You sighed internally, the sound of the magic increasing, until . . .
>The energy travelled up her horn and collected at the tip, where it stayed.
>Celestia looked up at her horn in confusion.

File: Celestiascared.png (169KB, 770x430px) Image search: [Google]

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>>29313640
>Her face tensed up, making the magic pulsate in her horn. But no spell had been cast.
>She blinked, then looked at you, and said, “Wait just one second. It’s coming.”
>As if you were going to leave.
>Wait, you were going to leave.
>Celestia kept revving her horn as if she were trying to start a faulty car.
>But, still, there were no spells, and sweat was starting to drip down her face.
>“Sister,” she said, “I could use some assistance now, as The Bazooka is trying to escape.”
>Luna was snoring. It sounded like a dentist was sucking the saliva out of a pig.
>“Wake my sister!” she ordered.
>Two guards stood before the cart where Luna was laying, once full of Moon Pies the same as the Earth was full of dodos.
>“You wake her,” said one guard to the other.
>“No way,” he responded. “If you even touch her right now, when she’s like this, she’ll start farting.”
>The guard made a sour face of disbelief. But his friend continued:
>“I’m serious. It’s like lumpy porridge or something, there’s one fart for each bubble that’s in a normal bowl.”
>“That’s nasty,” the guard said. Then, after a while, “Does this happen often to her?”
>His friend grinned, shook his head, and then advised him to never enter her room at night.
>“Not even once,” he concluded.
>Once Celestia’s horn had started to glow red she fell to the floor and moaned with pain
>From the base of her horn, steam and the smell of bone marrow cooking was escaping from under the tight seal of the glove.
>Guards were trying to pry the glove off, but it was too hot for them to touch, their collective opinions of despair being:
>“It’s too lubed up to grip” and “My hooves are getting slippery.”
>You watched all this silently, unsure of what to do.
>“Yep,” said Pinkie, looking at the box of gloves, “says right here that they’re not supposed to be put on any unicorn horns.

>>29313653
>“But it doesn’t say that you can’t make balloon animals with ‘em,” she said. “And I read it earlier, too, just to make sure.”
>You pondered the situation, after pushing Fluttershy off of you, and you came to a very good conclusion.
I should leave now.
>“Any available guard not tending to your princess,” Celestia announced, “is to make sure that The Bazooka does not leave the fortress.”
>The two guards watching Luna sighed and picked up their spears.
>“Still can’t believe I missed my mom’s birthday for this,” one of them muttered.
>The guards advanced towards you, and Fluttershy hid behind your legs, grabbing your ass so as to feel secure.
>You weren’t afraid of the guards, since you could pick them up with one hand and slam them if you had to.
>But, still, you didn’t want to hurt them.
>You told them this, but they just pursed their lips at you, as if to say “Look, it’s our job to get slammed right now, okay?”
>Either way, you had to keep them away.
>Deciding first that you would throw things at them, you picked up Derpy’s mailbag.
>“Hey, that’s mine,” said Derpy.
>You took a throwing stance and the guards stopped in place.
>“Put the mailbag down,” one of them ordered.
>“Oh great,” Derpy said, huffing, “now that you told him to, he’ll never do it.”
>You feigned throwing it a couple times, making them flinch.
>It was a standoff; the guards couldn’t advance, but you couldn’t move.
>“You’re only making this worse for you and your friends,” said the guard.
>“Do I have to remind you that you are impeding military progress by resisting?”
>“And my royal duties,” said Derpy.
>“Our love is stronger than any of that,” Fluttershy proclaimed from behind your legs.
>“You tell ‘em!” said Pinkie
“The rubber! It’s melting onto my horn!” screamed Celestia.
>The guard then grabbed the bill that Celestia and Luna wrote on, issuing the fortress, and showed it to you.

>>29313661
>“Right here is proof that you’re breaking Equestria law.”
>“Oh, I love that activity,” said Pinkie, upon noticing the item in his hoof.
>When she got close and examined it, she hummed in a suspicious way.
>Then, straightening up, she said conclusively, “It’s not finished, though.”
>“What?” said the guard.
>“You didn’t finish it, silly,” she said. “Here, let me show you.”
>She went over to the gloves and came back with one of them blown up and twisted into a magnifying glass shape.
>“It says right there,” said Pinkie, placing the glass over the bill, “that you have to mail it in to the company for consideration first, before it becomes a law.”
>“Oh, those,” said Derpy, now recognizing the bill with one eye, the other staring at the balloon giraffe left in the corner.
>“Yeah,” she said, “we’ve been getting tons of those lately.”
>The guard furrows his brow and, pulling a pair of glasses out from a holster on his armor, examines the suspect bill closely.
>You, meanwhile, began to seethe with anger.
>Fluttershy, sensing your rage, scooted away into a remote corner of the room and hid behind the giraffe.
>Those princess bitches took so little consideration of you that they didn’t even bother to actually make your house a legal fortress, like they said they did, even though they totally could have.
>It’s insulting!
>AGAIN!
>Letting loose a primal scream, you threw the bag at the guard who was still watching you and hit him in the face, sending mail up into the air like feathers do in a pillow fight.
>But let’s focus on something else, while you tear the royal crew a new one.
>You live on a big hill.
>Like, a really big hill.
>And this really big hill, it has a top, which is where your house is.
>From your kitchen window you can get a good panoramic view of all of Ponyville, its thatched roofs, the smoke coming from the chimneys, the weather pegasi moving the clouds.
>Yeah, it’s that big.

>>29313679
>So, after you had gotten all of the royals to submit to your superior human strength™, here’s what you did:
>You threw Celestia into the cart, making sure that her head would be right next to Luna’s rank pony butt.
>Then, after pushing it with one foot, you watched it roll down the hill.
>It went straight for a while, before the wheels began cutting left, sending the cart crashing into a pine tree in the neighbor’s yard.
>The front panel of the cart turned to splinters, and Celestia and Luna went shooting out of either side of the cart, landing on the neighbor’s lawn.
>You left the guards to their own devices, and they ran to the aid of their princesses.
>Last thing you saw before turning away was your neighbor coming out of her house.
>She approached Luna, bent down to examine her injuries, and then was flanked by Princess Celestia, screaming at her to please get the molten melted rubber off of her horn.
>You neighbor fell backwards, heard Luna fart, and then curled up in a fetal position, her screams echoing up the slope of the hill.
I guess that’s that, you said upon coming back home.
>You began to untie Derpy, who did not speak to you when you asked if she was alright.
>Until, “I just can’t believe I failed at my first royal duty,” she said sadly.
>Now free, she began to pick up her mail, though Pinkie and Fluttershy had already helped immensely with that.
>“It was my first time meeting the princesses, and everything went totally wrong.”
>“It’s okay, Derpy,” said Fluttershy.
>She placed a soothing hoof on her shoulder and offered that, if someone doesn’t like you at first, you can always get on their good side by going over to their home every morning and trying to guess their fetish.
>“I guess that could work,” said Derpy, sniffling.
Derpy, that is not a good—
>“But their castle is too far away,” she said despairingly.
Stop listening to her!

>>29313686
>“Wait a minute,” said Pinkie. “Didn’t you get to meet the princesses at the wedding?”
>Derpy put her hoof to her chin, thinking.
Wedding?
>“Cranky and Matilda’s,” said Fluttershy.
Who?
>“Oh, I think I did,” said Derpy, brightening up. “Wow, I met the princesses. Talk about cool.”
>She put an arm around Pinkie and thanked her.
>“Shucks, it was nothing,” said Pinkie.
You’re welcome, by the way, for saving you from being raped by the two princesses you idolize so much, you said to yourself.
>“Hey, if I met the princesses at the wedding”—she hung her head down—“then that means that, when I saw them today, they didn’t remember me.”
>The air of the room turned solemn for everyone except you.
>You only wish that the princesses could forget you.
>“Well, not every sundae comes with a cherry on top,” said Pinkie helpfully.
>“What does that mean?” said Derpy.
>Thankful that the princesses were gone, you saw the hole still in your wall and you knew then what Pinkie’s adage meant.
>Not that that means anything, really.
>Once they had left, Fluttershy approached you.
Unless you’re going to help me clean up, you can go.
>“I still have to guess your fetish,” she said matter-of-factly.
Okay, whatever. Just make it fast.
>She flew outside and then after a second reappeared with your mailbox in her hooves.
Great, another thing I’ll have to fix.
>She gave it to you and told you to open it.
>On the side you saw that she had painted “Mr. and Mrs. Fluttershy” on it.
I’m not pleased so far.
>“Well, I can take your name, if you’d like that better,” she said as you opened the box and ignored her.
>There was a business letter inside it.
>Opening it and taking out the contents, you began reading.

>>29313701
>‘Hereby, it will go into effect that, any ponies working for the well-being of animals in Equestria, of sound mind and body, will henceforth have the right to marry any animals, under their care, that may achieve sentience . . .’
>“Isn’t it great?” she said gleefully. “Now, once I find your fetish and win your love, we’ll be able to legally get married.”
>Still ignoring her, you crumple the document in your hand and then bounce it off of her face.
Just put my mailbox back on your way out, you said upon leaving her.
>You kind of wish your house was a fortress, if only to keep these ponies away from you.

Other writing projects were stressing me out, and I needed to have some fun, so I wrote this. For those who read it, I hope you also had some fun.
I apologize for the silly mistakes that occurred while posting, like forgetting the occasional meme arrow.

>>29313728
It was a fun story, I didn't expect that ending either.

>>29215480
Since when do horses have canines?

>>29313986
Doesn't he have fangs or whatever.

>>29313986
He's a unicorn that casts magic and can turn into a shadowy ghost monster... logic doesn't really apply here.

>>29313471
Please come back soon.

bampu