RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>29162197
>Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are interested in Big Mac
>Apple Bloom goes to you to help her keep her friends from "corrupting" her brother
>Asks him to show them his "masculine wiles" to try and distract Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo

>>29162228
>Missing ponies report goes into effect three days later.
>On the fourth day the duo are seen stumbling out of Anon's house
>On their faces are the most blissed out looks of joy and rapture.
>When questioned upon their whereabouts Scootaloo only had this to say, "Heaven, it was heavenly..."
>Sweetie Bell was unable to comment upon the time as her throat was in dire need of treatment from severe abuse.
>Surprisingly no charges of fillynapping where pressed against one, Anonymous of Earth.

I can't believe rgre is dead.

>>29162197
>In a world where the gender ratio's are more even, Applejack was worried her brother was never going to find a nice mare
>Then Bloom's friends suddenly took an interest in him
>And he didn't utter word of protest about spending time with them
>Bloom wasn't too crazy about the idea, but AJ and Granny had exchanged a few knowing looks when he'd get bashful when the subject came up
>They may not be Earth Ponies, but they were already friends of the family
>They were practically family already, this would just make things a little more official
>It'd be good for him if everything worked out, he spent far too much time on his lonesome as it was.

>>29162994
I can't believe you're retarded. i know you're joking.

>>29163006
>"Sweetie Belle? Scootaloo?"
>The two young mares (formally fillies) turn to talk with their best friend; smiles on their faces
>"Ah know y'all are interested in mah big brother."
>The two mares exchange a look, but don't say anything.
>"And Ah know that he's a big colt and can make decisions all by his lonesome. That bein' said..."
>Apple Bloom walks over to her friends and wraps a foreleg around each of their necks in a friendly gesture.
>"If any y'all break his heart, Ah'ma break yer legs. We clear?"

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>>29162574
>Posting the shitty one
Here's the real version Anon.

>>29163094
Celestia is entirely too happy about something. I wonder what she's looking at

>>29163103
Big Mac is touching the butt. That's practically 3rd base.

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>After much nervous fretting and second guessing herself, a teen Scootaloo finally asks if she can join Rainbow and Anon's herd.
>To Scoot's immense surprise and joy, both say yes and let her in.
>Then she runs into another problem.
>She never realized that other mares joined.
>It's her, Anon, Rainbow, Spitfire, Fluttershy, A.K. Yearling, Gilda, a smattering of foals and even a griffin chick or two all in one family.
>She comes to the realization that she's the youngest sans the foals and has nothing to offer the family as a whole.
>And useless is quite possibly the worst thing you can be as the newest member of a herd.
>It's also not helping that she was just brought into a herd filled with heroes and celebrities.
>Now Scootaloo has to scramble to find her place in her new family and hope that her new sisters don't lose their patience with her.

>>29163126
>Luna hasn't spoken to a male in 1000 years
>Isn't sure what constitutes really intimate and really casual behaviour
>"W-We held hooves today, sister. It was so exciting to do something like w-where everypony could see us!"
>Something something RGRE

>>29163103
she's scoping out DAT ASS

>>29163126
I wonder what touching a cutie mark feels like. That's like, an essential part of their being right?

>>29163233
>Anon's finally getting the hang of this.
>He didn't even have to wait until there was a big family meltdown before trying to do something this time
>Nipping it in the bud, ahh yeah son.
>Gotta soothe those insecurities and get everybody getting along smoothly right off the bat this time.
>Gonna be a pro herd stallion at this rate.

>>29163233
>Scootaloo's own anxieties and self-esteem issues resulting from being in a herd with such famous and capable mares sabotages her abilities and performance
>Rainbow Dash quietly takes her aside and explains that she isn't fit for the herd any more

>>29163233
>>It's her, Anon, Rainbow, Spitfire, Fluttershy, A.K. Yearling, Gilda, a smattering of foals and even a griffin chick or two all in one family.
>>Fluttershy
Get the fuck out. What does she bring to the herd except whimpering noises and the ability to cower on the floor in record time?

>>29163325
she has nice a puss puss

>>29163325
Anon obviously has a thing for birdhorses (and catbird), which Fluttershy (and Cutealoo) fit nicely into.

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>>29163325
>he doesn't want a beastmaster in his herd
That is exactly why you're alone, Anon.

>>29163365
>Not having to put up with Fluttershy's bullshit
Worth it.

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>>29162624
l-lewd

>>29163271
>Herd management is no easy feat
>If being a househusband was just about cooking, cleaning, and raising foals, anyone could do it.
>But balancing the needs of multiple mares, dealing with personality conflicts and fights...
>It's what a Stallion is expected to do, but most stallions are *terrible* at it.
>As a result, it usually falls to one of the mares to try to pick up the slack, and herds tend to be small.

>Big herds tend to end in a big drama bomb in short order
>But a big herd that lasts?
>That's rare, and a sign of prestige for everyone involved

>>29163373
>Fluttershy's bullshit
>not Rainbow, or Gilda's

are you for real?

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Uhh...
>...
>Noise. A chirping noise...
>Wind... and feeling comes, too.
>You open your eyes as basic memories rush in, with personal ones in tow.
>And...
Nngh...
>Slurp.
>Oh god, something feels really... good.
>You catch something moving, bobbing around where your crotch should be.
>The rest of your memories are here, now.
>Ah, there's your personality.
>Wait.
>There's something in your fucking bed, and from the smell and wetness it's making a fucking mess.
>You toss the blanket aside, only to see a purple Unicorn nerd between your legs.
>Slurp.
>Pop.
Twilight, what the fuck?
>"Oh, good morning, Anon!"
>She sticks her long horse tongue out and rubs it against the base of your shaft, earning her a grunt from you, and a throb from little you.
What are you doing?
>"I am performing fellatio. I just needed a research subject, that's you!"
>The mare kisses the tip of your penis gently, softly. It twitches again.
>"Colts like it when a mare goes down on them, right?"
Yeah, well, like, not by surprise, and with some pony I barely have any fee-
>Her face saddens, and her ears, oh god, they fold into the cutest little places.
>"S-so you don't like it?"
>...
>It's a free blowjob.
N-no, keep going.
>Her face 180's again, and with perked up ears she slams her face down on your cock again, causing you to grunt and enter a short full-body spasm
>You thrust your hips and fuck her face for awhile, enjoying the loud and repeated slurping and slapping noises.
>She feels for throbs and gets them, and starts actually sucking on your wet, pulsing shaft. You cum thick globs into her mouth.
>She sucks it all down like she's drinking from a straw, and lets go with a pop.
>Your cock starts softening, but not before shooting one last spurt all over her cute little face.
>Twilight stares at your penis. Some cum drips out of the side of her lip, but she catches it with her tongue, and smiles.
>"Thanks, Anon! We should rut some time!"
>Twilight vanishes in a flash of light.
Y-you too...

>>29163373
>bullshit
>adorably cute and cuddly submissive mare that gives killer massages
Your loss you filthy plebeian.

>>29162197
>"Anon! You gotta hide me."
>It appears Dash is literally shaking.
>Why you of all people? You aren't her only friend, hell you're not even the only human here.
"What is it this time Dash?" you roll your eyes.
>"Oh Dashie! Come out come out where ever you are!"
>You'd know who's voice that was hadn't rainbow trampled you to get in your house.
> You close the door and find her colorful tail sticking out from underneath your dining room table cloth.
"Ya gonna tell me what this is all about?" you ask with your arms folded.
>"our treaty had been breached anon, no teats are safe!"
>So that's what they call them.
>Also, what?
"What do you mean by treaty, and what does it have to do with teats?"
>"Well, before you got here, there was the show were a mare in an Afro and sunglasses would kick random ponies in the teats or worse. It got so bad that everypony lived in fear of the sudden gut retching pain."
>This sounds a lot like your days in high school.
>"Everypony got together and signed a treaty so we could all live in peace. Until today that is." As she talks, she flutters from window to window looking through you blinds.

>>29163431
They have a backbone and their bullshit comes from having attitude problems. Fluttershy's bullshit comes from never learning from her accomplishments and abilities, and always assuming the fetal position despite her past success.

At least Rainbow Dash and Gilda would stand up for me if somebody insulted their herdcolt.

>>29163435
Where is the RGR?

>"-And the barrel was full of raw meat!"
>You laugh at Pinkie's story as you close the oven door.
"Oh Pinkie, you and your wacky shenanigans!"
>You tussle her mane as she laughs.
>Her laugh quickly peters out into a girlish giggle, and she blushes and covers her face with her mane.
>Pinkie has always been your closest friend ever since arriving in Equestria, but she's been acting pretty odd lately.
>She's been giggling and blushing a lot.
>The other day, while you were talking, she just started giggling and ran off.
>Your hand is still on the top of her head, so you begin gently scratching around the base of her ears.
>Her giggling becomes a soft humming as she tilts her head into your hand.
>"...Nonny? There's something really extra-special I need to ask you~"
"What is it, Pinkie?"
>A knock at the door interrupts before she can answer.
"Hold on, let me get that real quick."
>Pinkie peeks out around your legs as you open the door, and gasps excitedly.
>"Limey!"
>She tackles her sister at full force, wrapping her hooves around her neck, talking at a million words a minute about how much she missed her.
>Limestone doesn't budge an inch.
"Oh look, Limestone's here. Great."
>Pinkie sticks her tongue out at you.
>"Nonny! Be nice to Limey, she's come a long way from the farm to visit!"
"Yeah, it's kind of weird to see you off the farm, I kinda started to think if you left, you'd burn up like a vam..."
>Your words trail off as you notice that she's staring straight at the ground, shaking and sweating.
"Lime? Are you okay?"
>A flurry of hoofsteps coming up the road catch your attention.
>Twilight skids to a stop a few steps behind Limestone.
"Twilight? What's going on? What's she doing here?"
>She cocks an eyebrow.
>"You don't know? She stopped by my castle, asked where you lived, and left without saying a word."
>Pinkie's starting to look worried.
>"What's wrong, Limey?"

>>29163464
>Limestone swallows hard and takes a deep breath before digging something out of her saddlebag and practically punching it into your hands.
>"H-here, take it."
>You open your palm and pick up the object to examine it.
>It's a ring.
>It looks like it was carved out of a geode, one side is made of dark rock, the middle is white crystal, and the other side was amethyst.
>Pinkie gasps in amazement.
>"Oh my gosh Limey, that's soooo pretty!"
>Twilight takes a step closer to get a better look.
>"It's beautiful...Did you make it yourself?"
>Limestone puffs up a little with pride.
>"Y-yeah, I did! Pretty great, huh Anon?"
"Yeah, it is, but I don't really get why you're giving this to me, we don't exactly get along."
>She huffs and puts on her best annoyed face.
>"Don't play dumb with me, Anon! Twilight's book said that humans give each other rings when they get m-married!"
>Pinkie freezes, Twilight's jaw drops.
"...What?"
>"Yeah, I-I wanna...get married..."
>An awkward silence hangs in the air for a few seconds, before some uncharacteristically forced laughter from Pinkie breaks it.
>"Oh man, Lime, you're really...that's...I don't remember you being so funny back-"
>"I went to the choosing stone, and it said that Anon's my match."
>Pinkie reacts like she's been punched.
>"...oh..."
>You sigh.
"Alright, so what sort of magical horse bullshit do I have to deal with this week?"
>Limestone glares up indignantly.
>"Hey! The choosing stone has chosen mates for our family for generations! It's never been wrong, so that must mean that I've been wrong about you."
>She glances over your body and snorts dismissively.
>"You can't really blame me though, you haven't done much to impress me."
"I don't need to impress you Lime."
>She straightens up and squares her shoulders.
>"Well, if I'm going to be having your half-breed abominations sometime down the line, you'd better start trying!"
>You recoil at her pointed assertion.
"What the fuck, Lime!"

>>29163467
>Twilight steps alongside Limestone and puts a hoof on her arm.
>"Uh, Limestone, don't you think you're going about this the wrong way?"
>She groans and stares down at her hooves.
>"I don't...I don't do this stallion stuff...but Mom and Dad are getting old, and if I'm going to take on the farm, I've gotta start a family..."
>She glares back up at you.
>"I gave you the ring, so what are we waiting for? Let's do this already!"
>You cross your arms and lean against the door frame.
"I don't have to marry you just because you gave me a ring, Lime."
>"What? But the book..."
>Twilight scratches the back of her head.
>"Sorry if you were misled, I guess? Maybe I worded that sentence wrong?"
>Limestone glances back and forth between the two of you, before settling on you with a firm gaze.
>"The choosing stone-"
"Twilight, are there any bylaws regarding magical matrimonial artifacts and common law marriage?"
>"None that I'm aware of."
>First bending down to set the ring on the ground in front of Limestone, you step back into your house.
"Sorry Lime, better luck next time. There's probably a dozen stallions out there waiting for you to make them the happiest guys on the planet, just not me."
>The door shuts as she stares forward with a shocked expression, before her fire finally returns.
>"Fine! What does that stupid rock know anyway!"
>She spins around angrily and storms away, with Twilight hot on her heels.
>"So that probably could have gone better, huh? Heh..."
>Limestone doesn't respond.
>"Listen, Lime, maybe we can help? If you stay in town for a few days we can find some nice stallions, maybe set up a few dates?"
>Limestone stops on the word 'date'.
>Her angry expression slowly softens, and then changes to one of fear.
>And then panic.
>"Are you alright?"
>Limestone bolts back towards your door and starts pounding on it.

>>29163470
>"Hey, I'm sorry about that stuff or whatever! Let's go grab a bite to eat and talk this over, okay!? You eat fo-YOU EAT FOOD, RIGHT!?"
>She continues to pound on your door as Twilight trots over to Pinkie.
>"This is a little out of my wheelhouse. Maybe we should call Cadance? What do you think, is there anything to this-"
>The sounds of soft sniffles catches Twilight's ear.
>"...Pinkie? Are you crying?"
>"No...I mean yes! I'm crying happy tears for Limey! Why wouldn't I, when she's found the funnest, funniest, most cutest colt ever!?"
>She smiles the widest smile she can manage, and wipes away her tears.
>"I'm so excited! I barely h-have time to...to...plan their w-w-wedding!"
>Her smile falls and she drops to the ground, covering her head and forcing out deep sobs into the dirt.
>Twilight stands awkwardly in between a blubbering Pinkie, and a Limestone whose currently threatening to break your door down.
> A bead a of sweat rolls down her forehead as she tries to figure out which issue to tackle first.
>She slowly starts to step away from the sisters.
>"Yeah, I'm just gonna head back to the castle really quick and shoot a letter off to Cadance..."

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>>29163373
>Rainbow's arrogance, insecurities, and impulse decision making
>Gilda's tough girl routine, and slav history
>Yearlings dangerous as fuck temple dives, and celebrity status
>Spitfire's active duty schedule, celebrity status, and occasional callousness
>Scootaloo's everything Rainbow has except trade arrogance with handicap

Nigger Fluttershy's social anxiety is the least bullshit out of his herd's bullshit, and she is actively fixing her bullshit

>>29163488
If anything, Flutters would be invaluable in helping all that estrogen get along and be civil to one another.

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>>29163488
Fluttershy sounds like she'd bring good balance to a group like that, especially as the title holder of element of kindness.

>>29163233
>”So kid, what do you do for a living?”
>You wince as Spitfire shows you around the huge house. She asked one of the few things you hoped to avoid.
>Your job. Or lack thereof.
“I’m... Between jobs at the moment.”
>The older mare hums in her throat as she walks. “So you’ve never had one?”
>And she sees though you like glass.
>Your mouth opens with a reply, but shuts a moment later.
>The wonderbolt captain smirks “Got it in one, eh? That’s fine. Myself or one of the girls will get you set up somewhere later. For now, you’ll be Anon’s helper around here. Only Faust knows how he keeps this hectic place running.”
>You frown, not liking how you got no say in any of that.
“And that’s your place to decide?” You snark.
>Spitfire stops and looks at you with a raised eyebrow, her smirk falling.
>Well shit. Way to go, Scootaloo. You just HAD to act up.
>The yellow mare steps into your personal space, looking down at you with amused eyes.
>For a split second, your anger resurfaces, tempting you to knock that look off her face.
>But a glance at the small lump in her belly stops you.
>Even pregnant, you know the wonderbolt captain would wipe the floor with you so fast that your head would spin.
>And on the off chance you DID hurt her...
>...Or rather Anon’s foal...
>Just thinking of the consequences for such a transgression makes you ill.
>So instead of lashing out, you bite your lip and stay quiet.
>You’re here for Anonymous and Rainbow Dash. Bear with it for them.

1/?

>>29163473
MORE FAGGOT!

I love the Pie sisters and there aren't enough stories of them.

>>29163509
OH SHIT NOF
HI NOF

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR CRYPT?

>>29163509
>”Yeah,” Spitfire starts, her smirk coming back. “As your senior who brings in a nice chunk of family income, I think I get to tell you, the jobless newbie, that you need to help around the house.”
>She backs out of your face and keeps walking down the hallway you both stopped in.
>You follow after her reluctantly.
>The further you walk, the more the sounds of laughing and playing children pick up, making your lips pull up into a small smile.
>”So, newbie.” Spitfire calls over her shoulder. “It nearing dinner time and it’s steak night, so lots of prep. Go find Gilda and help her get everything ready for Anon.”
“Steak..?”
>”Manticore meat, kiddo. The children love it. Now, Gilda should be-”
“Meat?” You interrupt, finding yourself mildly disgusted. “But isn’t it just Anon and the griffins who eat that?”
>”Nope!” Spitfire exclaims, her smirk turning into a grin. “All the foals here have a lot of human blood in them. So much that they all crave meat. The little tykes need all the protein they can get since they grow like weeds.”
>A shiver runs up your spine. You had no idea...
>”Oh, wipe that look of your face. When you have your first one, she’ll want meat too.”
>Oh Faust that’s nauseating.
>The Captain's grin becomes positively shit eating.
>”Now, if you don’t want to prep the steaks or help Anon cook... you could take a nurse pill and help Flutters feed the youngest of the bunch.”
>You blink, then realize what she meant as your face goes nuclear red.
>She snorts “And I think little Windstream is teething early too. I’m sure those needle sharp canines will feel reeaaaal good.”
>Buck that.
>You sigh.
“So, where is Gilda again?”
>This is going to take some getting used to.

2/2

>>29163516
I ran out of booze

>>29163473
Please never leave. No, seriously, please write more.

>>29163473
Ponk needs hugs

>>29163090
I can see this....

>>29163488
>slav history
Gilda isn't a slav, she's a kike.
t. /pol/

>>29163554
I don't know, there were griffins squatting and gambling in the streets, only slavs and nigs squat and gamble.

>>29163539
>"S-So..."
>Pinkie looks around the dimly-lit bedroom awkwardly, her ears flattened against her puffy mane.
>>"Yeah."
>Limestone is equally as uncomfortable and refuses to look her sister in the eyes. She looks like she's trying to be angry, but the snarl slips off of her face every time.
>"So, uh... do we get each other ready for you, or... or what?"
>What?
"Girls? You DO realize that you don't have to do anything to each other, right?"
>Their ears perk up and they share a glance before blushing and turning away.
"What with you being related, and all."
>Pinkie and Limestone loosened up after that and you had a very relaxing evening together.
>Also, you fucked.
THE END

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>>29163560
>I don't know, there were griffins squatting and gambling in the streets
Got any screens? I never actually watched the episode.

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>>29163567
I'm sure if they could get away with two bottles of cider they would've had them there.

>>29163511
>>29163531
>>29163539
I'll probably write some more tomorrow night.

>>29163470
>>Limestone stops on the word 'date'.
Do I smell a time limit?

>>29163584
>Anon visits griffon town
>Can't stop giggling that they all live in birdhouses

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>>29163584
So... They're some sort of nightmarish kikeslav?

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>>29163588

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>>29162228
>You are Apple Bloom, and your two best friends have FINALLY left your brother alone for two apple-darned seconds.
>As a matter of fact, you haven't seen them all day.
>They usually come 'round to the farm near the evening.
>Officially, it's to hang out with you.
>Unofficially, it's to make passes on your big brother.
>YOUR big brother!
>They should have been here hours ag-
>"H-Hey, Bloomy~"
>Scootaloo floats into view, blushing and quivering slightly.
>"H-how's it... what's goin' on?"
>Scootaloo does a lazy corkscrew before coming in for a landing.
"What's gotten into you?"
>Scootaloo just grins.
>"Anonymous."

>>29163488
>>Ask Rainbow to pick up a few groceries, she does.
>>Ask Gilda to get a few groceries, she brings back 2 squirrels and a rabbit.
>>Ask Yearling to get some groceries, she does, and brings back some archaeological artifact too.
>>Ask Spitfire to bring back some groceries, the Wonderbolts do an airshow while airdropping them, complete with small parachutes.
>>Ask Scootaloo to get some groceries, she brings them back on her scooter.
Ask Fluttershy to bring some groceries, she can't bring herself to even ask the market ponies if they have anything she's wanting and if she points to the items they charge her three times the rate they charge other ponies. Everyone starves or goes broke when you depend on Fluttershy.

>>29163313
>Anon is absolutely livid when he finds out
>Pulls Scoots aside and tells her that it's ok that she's inexperienced and doesn't have much to contribute, that experience comes from time and practice

>>29163584
Looks a bit like Rio when the taxi driver decided to show us the shitty parts of town.

>>29163473
....So I have to ask, but how accurate is that stone again? Cuz I have the vibe that the stone only works on a generational kind of sense instead of 'LIMESTONE X ANON OTP' where instead it's more along 'THE ROCK FAMILY IS BOUND TO THE FAGGOT FAMILY'

>>29163473
>>"Hey, I'm sorry about that stuff or whatever! Let's go grab a bite to eat and talk this over, okay!? You eat fo-YOU EAT FOOD, RIGHT!?"
This gave me a good giggle.

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>>29163640
Bitch, that's cherry picking and you know it.
I ain't even a flutterfag and I can see it.

>>29163640
Have you seen any season outside of 1?
Flutters can talk to strangers, go shopping, go outside and all of that, she even participated in Nightmare Night and scared the shit out of the others.

If you don't like Fluttershy, you don't have to, but don't pretend that she is the shittiest pone in poneland.

That award goes to that food critic bitch.

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>>29163520
>>”Nope!” Spitfire exclaims, her smirk turning into a grin. “All the foals here have a lot of human blood in them. So much that they all crave meat. The little tykes need all the protein they can get since they grow like weeds.”
I LIKE IT.

I especially like the pregnant Spitfire and the sounds of other children in the house. It has a very cozy, warm feel to it.

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>>29163520
>>”Now, if you don’t want to prep the steaks or help Anon cook... you could take a nurse pill and help Flutters feed the youngest of the bunch.”
hhhhnnnggggg
im imagining her laying in bed like this and nursing several foals at once and its adorable

ok guys, here's some /tg/ RGRE

>Equestria's a weird place to live
>they place is pretty much a utopia
>everyone is incredibly friendly
>there's no war or death
>the entire world kinda works like those crime-free upper class neighborhoods
>also you're pretty sure they don't have poverty and people aren't raping babies in their version of Africa
>but they don't even have cell phones
>no computers or tv's
>the best they've got is steam trains
>meaning all of your hobbies like vidya, tv, shitposting,and porn are all kinda non existent
>so you've got to find something to do besides day drinking in Twilight's castle
>you tried sports and actually productive hobbies like woodworking or music
>but you're still a fucking nerd and nothing can stop that
>so you turn to the most low tech nerd stuff you can think of
>tabletop gaming
>you started dicking around with building a system of your own with the intention of roping in a couple of your friends
>that was until spike spoke up about Ogres and Obulettes
>which from your understanding mostly revolves around roleplaying as angsty vampires and werewolves so you stopped listening
>but you did hear him say there was a game shop in ponyville so you stuffed your pockets with bits and went on your way

>>29163873

>there it is
>your local game store
>Game Worker's Shop
>the name doesn't bode well, but it looks too small time to be sueing children so you'll give it the benefit of the doubt
>as you crouch down and push through the doors you take a look inside
>there's actually more than a few ponies around
>some are browsing the hundreds of boxes lining the walls and aisles while others are playing some miniature game at a table in the middle of the store
>a pudgy unicorn mare who seems to be running one of the games gives you a short dismissive glance
>"The Spa's across the street if that's what you're looking for."
>a few of the ponies snicker at the comment
>which is fucking dumb because the spa is halfway across town
>"Gentle Brush! He could be a customer!"
>Gentle Brush just snorts and turns back to her game
>the new pony sighs before approaching you
>"I'm sorry about that, is there something I can help you with? We've got plenty of games from Monopoly to Ogres and Obulettes."
"Yeah, actually. I'm looking to get into miniature gaming, what do you guys play around here? I've heard good things about Hyperspace Hyperwars."
>she smiles and leads you over to an entire wall dedicated to a few select games
>"Hyper is easily our most popular war game, the rules are tough and the community competitive but you can find games everyday here. Which faction are you looking to play?"
>you've got a couple ideas...
>she starts grabbing edition books for the different races and handing them to you
>"Brothers of Combat are good but they only come in metal minis. Porkz are fun if you're not too serious about winning. Cosmo Mareines are all arounders with heavy infantry and they're easy to start. Slugnoids are spammy with big units mixed in. Elkar are glass cannons with the best magic in the game, then there's-"
"That's all good, but I think I know what I'm looking for."
>You had done some research
>and you want big tanks and killer walkers
"Equis Militarum is more my style."

>>29163881

>she winces at that
>"it's a hard army to learn, and playing it will be expensive between the infantry and tank models."
>you know, but Twilight insists on giving you an allowance
>on top of your job and the fact that you live rent free at the castlebrary means you've got dough to spare
>you grab the Equis Militarum codex alongside the core rule book and take a step towards the wall of boxes
>"I'm ready to learn and I've got the bits to spare."
>you grab the Equis Militarum starter set and look it over
>it comes with a tank, two squads of infantry, and a field commander
>not bad, but you grab a special weapons team and a squad of stormtroopers to start off
>Game Worker compliments you on your choices and leaves into one of the back rooms before Gently Brush approaches you
>"Register's this way."
>huh
>guess she works here
>"EQ huh? I play Daemonic Forces myself."
>what, is she trying to be friendly now?
>Well, mama anon always taught you to be the bigger man
"Sounds fun, what do they play like?"
>"fun? They're a serious competitive army. They're not meant to be fun, but they are meant to crush tiny pony armies like yours."
>wow
>condescending and no fun allowed
>you'll be sure to avoid playing with her
>you pay with the intent of leaving as soon as possible
>"I'll be looking forward to seeing you here, colt."
>she watches you leave, giving a toothy and awkward smile
>you really hope you don't have to talk to her too often

>Be Rainbow Dash chillin' on a cloud in the midday
>not doin much really
>except being awesome of course
>but you temporarily stop being awesome when you notice something out of the corner of your eye
>well, Anon's not really hard to notice, he's a big guy
>isn't he?
>wait, did he just walk out of game worker's shop?
>oh no, did Twilight reveal her power level?!
>you gotta get the girls
>and you've gotta get them now

>>29163886

>you thought this whole Hyperspace Hyperwars thing would be more similar to 40k considering cosmo mareines are almost exactly the same as space marines
>turns out there’s a fair few rule differences and the fluff has a lot of divergences
>there’s a lot more walkers in the game, both two and four legged
>flyers too, mostly pegasi and other equivalents
>the four “gods of disharmony” are apparently real, discord says they’re a lot nicer once you get to know them
>also ponies can’t handle grimdark so the Empress is still alive and partying it up with her
daughters
>the rules are honestly a lot more fun, mostly because it’s not made by money grubbing assholes
>ally rules are lax with tons of creative mercenary factions to take points in
>That plus interesting new races that aren't just xenomorphs or just gundam make it more fun
>and it’s a little more balanced, apparently all the factions get good attention and can be used competitively.
>except for brothers of combat, who get kinda forgotten just like sisters of battle
>which is a shame, if there wasn’t such a fetishy dominatrix vibe going on you'd be willing to play them
>you close the core rulebook and exchange it for the Equis Militarum codex
>they’ve got a nice mix of infantry, tanks, and walkers
>they lack good artillery or magic users and don’t have any heavy infantry at all
>but their tanks are the biggest in the game
>you’re definitely going to add some super heavy tanks once you get to that point
>but for now you need to focus on infantry
>you can't just spam tanks like in 40k
>infantry are needed to capture points and tanks suck in melee
>looks like you should get another special weapons team
>mortars seem better than artillery for taking light to mid infantry, and you’ll need a team for taking down armored tanks
>then you'll need a command squad and something for the magic phase
>you'll stop by the store after you finish what you've already got

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>>29163886
>I play Daemonic Forces myself

>>29163895

>painting them is tough
>being four legged they've got a whole lot of crevices to paint in
>not to mention a little more surface area and baseplate to deal with
>but screw the baseplate you'll deal with that later
>now you paint
>you start with the basics
>cadian green, or whatever they call it here
>you can get creative when you've built an army and actually played a couple games
>the field commander, on the other hand, is going to stay around for a while
>she's got flak armor like the rest of them but has a chainsword a pistol instead of a rifle
>that plus the officers cap instead of a helmet marks her as different
>you're going to treat her well


>"What's going on Rainbow Dash?"
>"Yeah Rainbow, what're we doin' here?"
>You look around the map table, so far it's just Twilight and Applejack
>the others should be here soon, but there's no reason to start now
"Earlier today I saw Anon at Game Worker's Shop."
>you look between the two of them, while Applejack just seems confused Twilight is the appropriate amount of horror
>"Rainbow, we go to Game Worker's shop all the time. What's wrong with Anon going there?"
"You don't understand Applejack, Big Mac is tough as nails and plays O&O, imagine Anon in the shop." you suppress a shudder
>she still looks a little confused, meanwhile Twilight is panicking appropriately
>"This is fine, we don't know why he was in there, he could've been buying marenopoly for the crusaders, maybe he was meeting up with somepony? He could've even gotten lost on the way to the spa for all we know."
>you fly over to Twilight and grab her face in both hooves
"That's not the point Twilight! He was in a game shop, alone. He could've met dozens of cuntbeards in an hour."

>>29163904

>Applejack laughs at that
>"That's all? Anon's tougher than he looks, I'm sure he can handle some cursin' and bad manners."
>you turn over to the apple flavored pony beside you
"You don't understand AJ, besides your brother and Spike there's a serious lack of colts playing tabletop games. Anon is definitely cool enough to give it a shot but we gotta ease him into it, there are a lot of asshole players in ponyville. Remember that time Roseluck won the Technology the Dividing tournament?"
>Applejack scowls at the reminder
>"I'll give ya that one, but she ain't bad enough to drive a pony away is she?"
>"Roseluck? No, but plenty of Shining's old friends quit HyperSpace because of the community. They can be pretty harsh towards colts."
>"I never thought of that… I'd hate for anon to miss out on a good thing 'cause of a buncha mares."
>finally she understands
"We'll have to make sure he hasn't been soured by some uncool cuntbeard, we should try and talk to Anon soon."
>both of them nod in agreement
>"Talk to me about what?"
>your head snaps over to the doorway where Anon is standing
>oh yeah
>he lives here
>probably should've picked somewhere else to meet
>"The rest of the girls are here by the way."
>he steps aside letting Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rarity through
>"Hey Dashie! Watcha want to see us for?"
>you look over to anon who's just standing there
>questioningly
"Well, I uh… Wanted to… talk about..."


>"The thing is..."
>this mare done and got herself in a heap of trouble
>now she's goin' to lie about it and make it a lot worse
>"That thing we wanted to do that day..."
>you look over to anon sympathetically
>the poor colt
>"Like maybe..."
>wait, what's that there on his handy thingies?
>is that paint? Miniature paint?
"We wanted to help anon start playin' pen an' paper games."

>>29163910

>all the girls look over to Applejack
>"What? It's what we were gonna do."
>you're about to say something when a bright pink ball starts jumping up and down to meet you at eye level
>"That's great Nonny! What do you wanna play? O&O? Road Discoverer? Fatal? Jenga?"
>"I was actually looking into HyperSpace HyperWars."
>"THAT ONE'S MY FAVORITE!"
>wait really?
>or is this just Pinkie being Pinkie?
>"I must say that is surprising anon, most colts would consider themselves above such a hobby."
>"My Brother and I used to play a lot if you want any help. I've got all the codexes in the library and plenty of supplements if you're interested."
>oh yeah, you technically live in a library
>"Well, kinda wish you told me that earlier, I already bought the Equis Militarum codex."
>the girls all share a few looks that are indecipherable to you
>pony facial expressions are still hard to understand
>finally Rarity speaks up
>"Anon, I hadn't expected you to be a filthy Equine."
>what? You're not a horse, they're the horses-
>"I play Elkar myself, I suppose I won't be of very much use with how different the armies are."
>Rarity plays HyperSpace?
"Didn't expect you to play honestly, although the Elkar are definitely your style."
>Applejack lets out a little chuckle
>"They're too much her style, she spends more time paintin' than she'll ever spend playin'."
>wait a second, so far you're 3/6 playing hyperspace
>and if you know the girls well enough...
>"Do all of you play HyperSpace?"
>"Heck yeah! I play Khan mareines, fastest flyers in the Equestrium!"
>"I play the Ent Alliance, they're… nice."
>"I play the porkiest porkz you've ever seen!"
>wow
>you hadn't even considered that they might play
>this could be fun


alright, that's all for now. C&C is welcome. Let me know if you guys want more because I'm a slow writefag and i need those you's

>>29163873
I was gonna go to bed you fucker, but then you're posting two of my favorite things smashed together

that said: MORE

>>29163918
>C&C is welcome
I hope only the original C&C's, not EA's C&C.

>>29163918
dammit, just noticed

>"Well, kinda wish you told me that earlier, I already bought the Equis Militarum codex."

is being said by anon

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>>29163910
>Technology the Dividing

>>29163918
I don't think I've ever seen a green where they're *all* into nerdy /tg/ shit.

I like it.

>>29163939
Wait wasn't Dash against it?

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>>29164086
She was against him getting chased off by a bunch of greasy tuftmuffins.

>>29164086
she play Khan mareines, White Scars

>>29164086
She wants to ease Anon into the game and not be scared off like most colts apparently are.

>>29163918
Not calling the rgre sisters, Battle Brorhers! in Boreales voice... for shame.

>>29163932
>Technology the Dividing

What's this in reference to? Kinda sounds like it's based on one of the World of Darkness series.

>>29164150
Magic the Gathering

>>29155514
Fuck you, we're going to be bitter and alone together. I'll take her slightly pudgy musky nerd pony body and do things to it that her mangos didn't even mention. Fuck, why would you try to change her? She's perfect as she is, fuck all that dumb shit.

>>29163918
As >>29163939 said, the whole mane 6 being hyperspace nerds is pretty interesting. I am especially looking forward to what Rarity is like as a gamer.
As for criticism, there were a couple of times it was a little ambiguous who was speaking.

>>29163103
That isn't celestia. Look at her mane.

>>29163435
>Someone take my ideas
Oh nice

>>29163599
Russia and Slavic countries in general have disproportionately large Jewish populations. There's a surprising amount of overlap between Slavs and Jews, which pisses off a lot of Slavs.

>>29163470
T-that very good, here. take my (You)

>>29164196
thanks for the criticism, I'll see if i can work on that in the future

>>29163904
>not Krieg
I see that this Anon has shit taste.

>>29163918
Here's an idea from a long-ago thread:
>Most Hyperwars players don't bother with tactics, and would never even conceive of tricking their opponent in such a way
>Along comes Anon with actual tactics
>The first time he sacrifices a unit to lure the enemy into a trap, his opponent is stunned
>Anon comes to be known as 'That Guy' because of this

/ss/ thread are dead.

I think i know why.

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From the last thread

>The bloodlines wasn't inspired by anything specific. The thing that probably gave me the idea was the way a lot of urban fantasy authors will throw in demons, angels, werewolves, spirits etc and give them all human forms for the sake of keeping them attractive while still exotic. Granted I hate that trope because it usually spits in the face of the lore it's based on and used sue-ishly, so I focused on making them feel more like hindrances and vulnerabilities, while also stripping the uniqueness it might grant to a character by giving the condition to a large group.

Thanks for the insight into your writing

>>29164261
>"W-why would you just LET her die?"
>Is...
>Is she serious?
"It's called strategy Twilight."
>"B-but that's so sad! She didn't need to die! I wanna take it back!"
>Is this mare serious?
>Fuck.

>Twilight is harshly reminded that Anon comes from a genuinely war-like predator species.

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>>29163520
Was gud.

>>29164323
i love the idea that ponies underestimate anon because he looks harmless with his lack of magic and visible predatory appendages then suddenly be harshly reminded there's a reason why his species are the apex predators of earth

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>>29163640
>I don't watch the show but I have my headcanon and that's basically the same thing

>>29164261
>You are Moondancer, and this is too easy
>You expected the colt to suck at this game, but seriously?
>There's a whole squad just sitting in the open next to a ruined building
>Grinning, you move your Bloodcrusher tank next to them and smash them with a single 5-ton shell
>Only for two balefire rockets to come out of the windows and blow your little lead model into metaphorical pieces
>You're not entirely sure what just happened, but judging from Anon's current smirk, you get the feeling that you and this colt are playing two very, VERY different games

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>>29162202

>In fact, fuck it. I'll make my OWN RGRE thread! With blackjack! And hookers!

I see neither blackjack nor hookers here. Son, I am disappoint.
I'll help out anyways though, at least half way.

I'm sorry I was too lazy to make a shitty black Applejack recolor to name Blackjack.

>>29164413
Where is Asian Anon when we need him?

>>29164376
I see your FoE there son.
I sees it.

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>>29163895
>also ponies can’t handle grimdark so the Empress is still alive
>implying implications

>>29163895
>You're Anon used to be /tg/ now /mlp
>Something trigger you so hard

FROSTYBOX?!

LAPS?!

ANALPLUG!?

NOF!?!?

COMFY?!

Amphetanon?!!?

Brandnewwritefag???

Ephemeral!?

ghouls.... oh wait he go holiday

HeliAnon!??

HerdAnon?!?

JUGGY?

KUKU!?

Snippet....

TASTETHENON???

Uhmmmmm~

DRUNKKKKKKKKK

>>29164606
member oblivious anon

>>29164606
You forget Anonymous.

>>29164641
Sup

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>>29164594
>implying for even a moment that the Emperor not falling for Horus' bullshit is a bad thing

>>29164606
Tom Servo!
Croooooooooowww!

>>29164606
>FROSTYBOX
Something tells me, those little ponies will get coma soon.

Sorry guy, Firework are coming.

>>29164862
Grammar is not.

>>29164867
>mobile
Cmon man.

>>29164874
>mobilefag
Wow, stop posting anytime

>Be Anon, sitting at a table outside your favorite eatery, if only because it's not all fucking hay.
>See some mare with a clipboard going from table to table, mostly ones with stallions.
>Petitions are actually listened to by the Princesses, so not an uncommon sight.
>The mare gets to your table, briefly taken aback at you being human, but launches into her spiel with gusto.
>"Excuse me, sir! I'm going around Ponyville to gather signatures for my petition!"
"No shit, really? Never would have guessed."
>She doesn't seem to notice the sarcasm.
>"Oh, yes indeed, sir! This petition is of vital importance! A most egregious error has been made in regards to Stallion's Rights!"
>She places the petition and pen in your field of view.
>At the top of the petition?
>"End Stallion's Suffrage"

More, yay or nay?

>>29164937
Yay, fuck stallion's right to vote.

>>29164937
Don't ask, just keep going. I'm interested in seeing where you're going with this.

>>29164937
Do not check after every post. It's annoying, and doesn't really give us enough to evaluate. Just post about 6000 characters of your story and see if you get two or more posts saying something like "more you glorious faggot" or "color me interested"

As of right now, "a group of mares don't think stallions should vote" lacks any hook for my interest.

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>>29164937
>This mare has some real stones on..in? her. Is she being serious right now or is pony-Ashton Kutcher gonna come out?
"Is this some sort of joke?"
>She shakes her head hard.
>"No joke, sir! Stallion's suffrage is a serious problem, not just in Ponyville, but all over Equestria!"
>She glances around and leans in to whisper.
>"What's worse is that it's LEGAL! In fact, it's against the law to stop Stallion's suffrage at the moment!"
>You deadpan.
>"Oh no, that sounds completely awful in every way."
>She nods with a broad smile, not realizing you're already onto her game.
>"Oh yes, it is! But with your help, I can bring this petition to the princesses and have this awful matter put to rest!"
>You look around and notice that just every single stallion in the immediate area has their eyes glued on you.
>You can see the looks on their faces, the outrage at the fact that you're not signing immediately to end an "injustice."
>Guess that's the price for living in a hick town full of uneducated dumbasses.
>You stand up and clear your throat.
"You fucking idiots realize you're signing away your right to vote, right?! That's what suffrage means, dumbasses!"
>The mare gives a panicked scream as the looks of outrage shift from you to her.
>You take advantage of the situation to get out of your meal without paying.
>You whistle happily as you walk away, the sound of the mare being run out of town behind you.
>Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

>>29164261
>The ponies who lose contact Celestia
>Celestia figures that Anon's been living in Equestria for years without learning any friendship lessons, so she's an opportunity
>She brings her multiple millennia of tactical experience as the leader of Equestria's armies to the miniature battlefield against Anon
>He crushes her handily
>An ancient, little known law states that since he technically bested her in battle, he's now the King of Equestria

>>29164261
>>29164376
>>29164976
> Ponies cannot into tactics and ambushes
> Despite having a wargaming system similar to wh40k
I, for one, want Anon to be challenged by pony opponents. Maybe he doesn't have an intuitive grasp of harmony bonuses or whatever, or he usually ignores the diplomatic victory option.

All the "anon is a man of cardboard in a tissue paper world" is getting to be too much.

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>>29164975
>"You fucking idiots realize you're signing away your right to vote
>Right to vote
>In monarchy

>>29165050
There are other elected officials running the cities and towns you numbskull

>>29163669
Or maybe magic works funny with Anon, being either hit or miss. Could be that Anon gave off a false positive for the stone. Or maybe they really are made for each other and the stone just put them in a position to tone down the assholeishness and really get to know each other. I also wanna note that, for the sake of Pinkie, Pinkie hasn't gone to the Choosing Stone either. There's nothing stopping Anon from being her soulmate either.

>>29163744
>nursing several foals at once

>"Yer gonna have six teats for a little while. Is that okay?"

>>29163873
Oh, thank god. When I first read about Anon observing that Equestria didn't have war or death or anything like that, I thought this story was going to be all "Well I can change that" and Anon does a bunch of dangerous and morally abhorrent things that slowly corrupts Equestria.

Good job so far, Anon.

>>29165088
she only has to feed five foals though. Anon takes over the sixth teat while snuggling his feeding foals.

>>29165050
>>29165080

There could also be parliamentary representatives to give the people's input into laws and shit.

>It has been 11 months since Anon teleport to equestria, They all liked him very much; he was nice, sweet, and caring.
>Today, though, Anon wasn't playing with his friends, he wasn't say anything. He was simply standing on leaf-covered ground in front of a freshly dug grave.
>He closes his eyes, remembering how his dad and mom.
>Before leave Anon pick up flowers and gently put them against the grave

>>29163910
>>oh yeah
>>he lives here
>>probably should've picked somewhere else to meet
kek

>>29163643
>At this point scootaloo realized.
>Her cutie mark is to help ponies get their cutie mark.
>She helps the kids get their cutie marks.
>...Alot of them are sexual...
>Especially Dash's kids.

>>29164976
FUND IT

>>29164976
>celestia ask how in the world he beat her
>a man a mere fraction of her age against millennia of experience
"all war is based on deception"

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>>29165132
>parliment was funded after some civil unrest
>Celestia still does not give a shit and ignores everything they say
>everyone is happy

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>>29165050
>>29165080
>>29165132
My headcanon I used in my fics that no one asked:

-Head of State (Celestia)
-Prime Minister (consul to the Princess)
-Cabinet (advisers and governors of state. Directional board. Council of State)
-Ministers (elected regional governors; advisers. Representational, vote on bills)
-Governmental departments (advisers, bureaucrats, state endorsed regular guys)
-Voters (everyone else)
-Non-voters (zebras, this is a joke)

>>29164347
Man, I'd love to see this sort of situation if it didn't immediately devolve into "Anon is the biggest dick OG super-predator who is 100% normal in every way (and is probably a bit pudgy and nerdy) but can leap on the back of a giant timberwolf and tear out its brain".

>>29165133
>>He closes his eyes, remembering how his dad and mom.
I remember how MY dad and mom.

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>>29165186
>"Ahnon? Ah said Twahlight, he is a big colt, but ah stallion is still stallion. There is no way in hay he could possibly catch me, even with those hands of his."
>Applejack then steps into her barn and falls into a pit that was covered by some hay.
>There is a note in there, that Twilight reads for her after pulling her out
"Oh really?"

>>29165186
>"Anon is the biggest dick OG super-predator who is 100% normal in every way

yeah, but i think even a fat guy can crush a timberwolf, considering theyre mad of sticks and if the fat guy can just put his weight on it, people are stronger than they realize especially with adrenaline

>>29165211
>anon using superior human ambush tactics to screw with ponies

>>29165211
>>29165226
Anon has the potential (like any other human), so we're in the same boat there. But the average person doesn't have the knowledge or experience. Predator instincts only get you so far if you've never dug an animal-trapping pit (and covered it with something that will fool another thinking species) before.

>>29165264
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to read something where Anon tries and fails over and over again because "the average person doesn't have the knowledge or experience", but I want there to be SOME struggle. I'm honestly not trying to start shit.

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>>29164606
What? D-Did i do something wrong?

>>29164606
>When your name is in all caps
Feels good, filly.

>>29165284
Do I know you?
jk. How's it going, friend?

>>29165264
cartoon physics and traps tom and jerry style along with the rule of funny (its not like we make these greens for realism)

>>29165283
for sure, its never funny of we get too marysuish

>>29165296
>tom and jerry
Already read it on fimfiction.

>>29165303
link?

>>29165317
Fucking lazy faggot.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/39256/the-chaos-contingency-plan

>>29165294
It's going good.
tore my arm up from the Christmas drunk ATV fun...

>>29165353
Oh, shit. Are you gonna be alright?

>>29165264
That depends... Seeing as the ponies have a intelligence a slight bit lower than our own *Tech wise and excluding the BLM and Feminist* there are cases simple traps work on people. If you walk through the woods you've been in a thousand times before, you won't be looking for a hole covered by branches with dirt on top.

>>29165365
Amputation.

>>29165365
Eh, worse has happened to me, I'll be fine. The dam ATV flipped and i got lucky when i got flung and it hit it only got my arm. My uncle was there luckily. A few stitches and a cast later and here i am. I'm getting the cast off tomorrow so I'm happy. Gonna hate getting my muscles working again...

>>29165376
Fuck that! Amputation cost alot! Get me my machete and a torch.

>>29165337
thanks faggot

>>29165389
Be glad it wasn't worse. My leg has been in a cast for over a month now. It sucks.

>>29165389
Jesus. Well I'm glad you weren't hurt worse, HerdAnon. Did you at least have fun with your drunk adventures? The best drunk adventures I've ever had were stumbling down to mcdonalds at 3 in the morning with my friends.

>>29165454
Rough deal, Anon. What's your story?

>>29165562
Slipped while taking out the garbage. Snapped my tibia, and knocked my ankle out of the socket for good measure.
>tfw you will never make an RGRE mare sick by showing her your horrible floppy foot

>>29165553
Yeah. But supposedly when i was in the hospital i started mumbling about Equ----a. I am so happy i was mumbling. If my uncle heard that i watched mlp I'd never live it down.
>>29165454
The fuck happened to you?
please tell my you tried to fuck a horse.

>>29165637
By taking out the garbage? Jesus, that's one hell of a way to wreck your shit.

>>29165640
And this is why I'm terrified of taking major painkillers/anesthetics that don't knock you out. I don't want to start sharing my deepest secrets to my family.

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>>29165637
You earned this cute pone Anon.

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>>29165661
You get a Applesexual.

>>29163090
Sounds legit.

>>29165674
Oh, Apple Bloom. It's not rape if a stallion does it.

If mare gets knocked up on a one night stand while drunk, does she have to give child support to the stallion?

>>29165717
Oh shit. i forget about this.

>>29165735
What? Was this a thing before?

>They make a live-action Power Ponies movie
>There's a huge backlash because they cast a stallion as Masked Matter-Horn

>>29165807
>Watching foal's shitty spandex hero movies.

>>29165637
Shit sucks man.

>>29165562
I was shot at by some thug outside of Walmart. Thankfully it only grazed me and I now have a sick scar over the left side of my temple. Still hurt like a bitch though.

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>>29165807

>>29163473
Moar?

>>29163488
Never mess with pack mama Flutters, she WILL sick a giant fuck off bear on your ass.

>>29165822
>I was shot at by some thug outside of Walmart.
You live in a scary place, Anon. I'm glad you only got grazed.

>>29165822
>I was shot at by some thug outside of Walmart.
What the fuck. oh wait american.

>>29165939
They sell guns in sporting goods section at Walmart.

'Murrica.

>>29165822
>I was shot at by some thug outside of Walmart
>GIVE ME YOUR MONEY
>FUCK YOU
>*SHOOT*
>AHHH FUCK YOU
Heh.

>>29163873
I like the premise immensely so far.

>>29163881
>A fellow Guardsman
How's it going comrade?

>>29165904
Not really I just live near racist black people who feel entitled to MY money because I'm white.
>>29165939
Hell yeah! Patriotism!
>>29165955
I....don't know what you're trying to say.

>>29163895
This must be a fantasy land, its too good to be true, I wish I was there.

>>29163918
>Fatal
KILL IT WITH FIRE!

>>29163918
My god I didn't know how much I wanted this again, MOAR please.

It's feel like RGRE is losing it's focus

>>29165939
Believe it or not it's mostly like that in the states you can't own guns. It's very rare to have a shooting where i live, and when there is one the shooter gets shot very quickly. The main problem is these people who sell guns on Facebook or some shit and don't do a background check.

>>29166089
don't (you) want to calculate your waifu anal circumference

>>29164975
Fuck yeah.

>>29165083
This!

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>>29165186
You really underestimate what a human can do, for some reason you give me the impression your happy being shit to. Read pic related to get some perspective on how wrong you are.

>>29166112
I like you

>Anon wants to own a bow/crossbow for hunting and self defense
>Equestrian laws mean its illegal without a permit
>The only way to get a permit by becoming a member of the guard
>Cue Anon joining the guard
>He gets shit on by the mares in the guard for being a stallion
>he completely "out mares" every last recruit and makes their basic training look like a joke
>by the end the mares are either trying to get him kicked out for making them look bad
>or they are trying to get him to be their horsebando

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>>29166112

This. The worst cities in the US as far as crime (Oakland, Detroit, NY, Chicago, etc) all have super liberal governments and strict gun laws. The places that allow concealed carry and dont outlaw self defense have lower crime rates than the European avarage.

>>29165667
Why am I tempted to squeeze her like Goku in DBZ Abridged to see if she squeaks? I don't want to hurt her, just make her squeak. Maybe squeal, by rubbing her belly.

>>29165186
I kinda skip the HFY shit by this point.

>>29165780
Yeah there was a big conversation about having a mare bribe a stallion with child support so the mare could keep the kid, it was a bit of a reverse for what we experience here. Honestly cant remember how it turned out though.
>>29165815
>Not liking pone brand Power Rangers
kys thanks

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>>29166204
So this, but just to shoot a bow?

>>29166038
Ever see Black Hitler's videos? I think he uses a different name but its hilarious to see what Hitler reincarnated looks like, he is a fruity bastard with a white man slave and everything. Pretty sure he lives in New Orland's or something.

>>29166113
I can do that with my dick first night, but that THING needs to be removed, for the sake of the universe!

>>29164976
Does Celestia also become his property by right of conquest? Does he get to use her however he wants as she calls him "master"? Does she get to wear a new, skimpy, sexy uniform that leaves almost nothing to the imagination?

>>29166267
>Celestia throws the game and makes up some bullshit law to get a few days off while satisfying her fetish.

>>29166239
Sounds about right, that's most of the hicks in my neighborhood.

>>29166297
I'd read that.

>>29166211
Doesn't hurt the fact that those areas are rural towns and have low population density, not to mention having factory jobs being sent overseas contributing to people having to resort to crime to get by. Bitching like liberal ideas are the source of those problems is fucking retarded. The most we could do to fix some of this problems is get a background check passed. But fat chance of that happening anytime soon, hell the gun violence is probably going to get worse.

>>29166297
Sexy Sunbutt getting her itch scratched for a few days while Twilight tries to go through the records to fix this? I would read it too.

>>29166297
>She did a bit too good of a job on her new bullshit law and now can't take her old position back
>It's okay, though, Anonymous is creative and has any number of new positions for her to take
>Celestia slowly becomes more and more okay with that

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>>29166318
stupid sexy sunbutt

>>29166177
Genius, you do realize that the article is fake, right?

>>29166177
But that was proven fake though, Anon.

>>29166378
>>29166381
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/wanyandie.html

>>29166381
>>29166378
Really? Never heard of that.

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>>29166318
>Sexy Sunbutt getting her itch scratched
Oh there would be much more than her itch getting scratched. Like her womb

>>29164323
Considering that they have a utopian society and "Friendship is Magic" that would be a very believable response from them.

>>29166225
It's fun to read since ponies have such a low expectations for Anon (a male AND a predator). Maybe I'll write something about some everyday task or situation that Anon excels at.

>Gilda visits Rainbow Dash again and brings a couple of her friends. The griffons, who are even more irritated by ponies than Gilda was, start harassing Anon and his friends. One of them takes a swipe at them (meant to scare the ponies away) or legitimately tries to start something, and Anon immediately reacts by decking her in the face.

idk. Something to emphasize the little differences between Anon and ponies that his friends tend to overlook or forget.

I need a comfy story to escape the current hell-zone of new years family dinner.
any pastebin with a good comf?

>>29164606
OMG...
OMG...
OMG!!
OMG...

When life gives you a cock, fuck mares.
When life turns you into a horse, fuck everyone.

>An Evil Witch cast a spell on the Anon, turn-ing him into a horse

>The only thing that could reverse the curse was... a princess's virgin

>"I beg you! Help me turn back into my former self!"

>>29166665
>princess's virgin
But since slavery was abolished, there were no suitors.
Also this is another Twilight prompt, so no.

>>29166674
If she's wet, I'm all set.

>>29166665
I know that hentai.

>>29166766
We're just ripping off hentais now?

>>29166766
Hentai?

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>>29166803
All in a days work

>>29166803
>>29166829
https://nhentai.net/g/182416/

page 6

>>29166674
Could be tia or Luna. Luna being more likely, i mean you'd be pretty pissed if your sis was getting more sex than you. Maybe that's why she went NMM.

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>>29166665
>>29166766
>>29166803
>>29166829
Now the dreams of every horse fucker can be realized. Thanks Japan!

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>>29166839
>his face

>>29166846
Last time in Dragonz Ball Peh:
"Kakakarrot cake... when I was a little boy, he didn't invite me to his birthday party!"

>>29165083
In reality, anon can mesh well with any of the Pie sisters. The Choosing Stone knows this, and that's why it went off for Limestone. It woul actually go off for any of the sisters

>>29164606
How YOU doin' bby

>>29166880
rip

>>29166880
Moar story when?!

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>>29166873
Is this about APA canon or something?

>>29166889
>one off
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>29166895
reddit go home

>hfy anon in rgre
>he gets drunk after making his own bre cause pony is 5% highest
>sings this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWgsdexkv18
>Pones freak out thinking this stallion is phyco or some other rgre bullshit

>>29166889
If I say 'soon' then it'll be another two months. If I don't say anything it'll prob be a lot sooner.

I have two ideas I've been mulling around, not including the FI sequel which I'm still outlining and making notes for. I also have the last part of Gentlemare Caller like 90% finished, I just need to stop being a nerd and ACTUALLY finish it. Not much of an update, but there you are. I'm actually glad the holidays are finishing up to I can get back to doing stuff.

>>29166915
>Not https://youtu.be/MZ35SOU9HTM

>>29165083
>Pinkie went to the Choosing Stone as a filly.
>Told her she had no soulmate.
>Anon only came into the world a year or two ago.

>>29166932
fun drunken singing about death not what would amount to rape in rgre. its supposed to add another facter of crazyness that he "thinks" death by falling and going splat is a glorious death, or that death is glorious at all.

>>29166846
>Picasso tries writing hentai

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>>29166952

>>29166952
I get what you are going for but that is way to fucking depressing and would lead to a incredibly messed up and broken inside Pinkie.

I want my Panko to be happy

>>29167092
>Panko went to the choosing stone and it showed her a massive cock unlike anything in Equestria

>>29167104
>Pinkie Pie sees Anon in the stone before leaving for Ponyville; Anon had not yet even arrived
>Confused, Pinkie goes about her days and tries to forget about the time the Choosing Stone showed her a creature that doesn't even exist as her soulmate
>And then, Anon arrives
>Pinkie is shocked and thrilled
>Tries to get close to him
>Slowly falls in love with him
And then the story we read happened.

>>29167104
>Pinkies just a idiot and didn't even active the stone.
>She just thought "It's shaped like a cock. It's hard like a cock. It's big like a cock... IT MUST BE A COCK!"
>Thus the real reason Pinkie is happy.

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>>29167104
>She embarked on a long journey across all lands in search of it
>10 years have passed, and all that she found was some mumbo jumbo from a Yak monk deep in the mountains
>"That which you seek, is where your home is."
>100% percent sure that it was just some random phrase to get rid of her she searches for another year.
>Finally she gave up and defeated she returned to Ponyville
>hfw Anon has arrived a year ago

>>29167104
>She then decided to throw a "My stallion is going to have a massive cock" party and invited her family.
>They weren't to pleased and sent her away to Ponyvillie.

>>29166665
>"Twilight are you pretending to curse ponies as an "evil witch" again?"
>Twilight sighs
>"IT WILL WORK ONE DAY!"

>>29167208
>Twilight gets drunk
>Breaks out her witch costume
>Uses hokey pseudo-horselatin magic spells on Anon
>"Fuckium pussitus! *hic*"
>Anon pretends to play along and fucks her

>>29167236
He does it in her but thoigh, and she's too drunk to realize she still is technically a virgin.

>>29167160
This is the best so far

>>29167104
>"The choosing stone was right! You're the biggest dick I know, Nonny!"

>>29167348
>"Aww..."
>"..."
>"Wait."

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>>29167348
>>29167367

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>"That Anon is SUCH a huge slut. He'll suck a horn for anything."

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>>29167403
Mares love hornjobs

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>>29167489
Me too.

https://youtu.be/Jm-upHSP9KU
>Twilight and Moondancer are both sick and tired of being perma-virigns.
>So they decide to use science! (Magic) to make the perfect horsebondo.
https://youtu.be/WSw1YiMPbI0
>In the end, they summon Anon.
>Sexy shenanigans happen.

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>>29167489

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>>29167403
>>29167489
>>29167528
>>29167598
Please Anons. I don't want another fetish.

>>29167598
>veiny horn
no thanks

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Post mare and stallion pictures. I only came here for this thread with this specific reason.

>>29166267
Oh yeah, a super skimpy sexy uniform, something like nothing but stylized horse shoes and a stylized yoke or collar. Unf.

>>29167489
>>29167528
>>29167598
is this freud

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>>29167737
What's RGRE's Freud?

>>29167092
I'm amused this got one reply, which is about it being a cock instead, which got five.
Honestly though, I've always enjoyed a kind of selfless characterization of Pinkie Pie. Sure, she's got a little corner of her that's sometimes a little blue that she doesn't have a special somepony of her own, but really, making other people smile is so deeply fulfilling it doesn't occupy her mind much at all.

>>29167598
>>29167489
The bulging horn veins are a weird mixture of arousing and disturbing.

A lot like being turned on by ponies, really.

>>29167896
This isn't pony.

>>29167944
> can function with acting
without*

>>29163562
yay

>>29163588
more yay

>>29163592
I think she's just so afraid of the awkwardness that she'd rather marry someone she hates because a rock told her to if it means skipping over that bullshit.

>>29163621
>"If you know what I mean"

>>29163886
>>isn't he?
Gotta love the subversion.

>>29163918
Top tier.
Pastebin?

I gotta start being careful with this need to comment on everything in one big post. I'm not cool or drunk enough to be Durnk.

>>29168066
Oh no, I am being an asshole. Question is, do you actually know the difference to the retards that want an all gun ban, or the people that want gun control and accountability in the dark gun market? Don't answer this, wrong thread for it anyways. By the by though, I also think those all gun ban people are fucking retards too, just on the opposite end of the political perspective than you.

>>29168091
>or the people that want gun control and accountability in the dark gun market?

What did he mean by this?

>>29168091
>Oh no, I am being an asshole.
It feels better when people being assholes admit that they're aware they're assholes. It takes the sting out of it.

>>29168109
Fair enough.

>>29168097
I have no idea.

> Ponewaifu trying to act marely in the cold
> Permanent scrunch from the freezing wind
> Anon loops his long scarf around her head
> Ponewaifu huffs his scent the entire way home, blushing like mad

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>>29168162

>>29168162
>Pheromone Anon in Equestria
>Powerful smell compared to ponies
>Ponewaifu is dripping wet by the time they get home
>Needs to point rump at fire to melt the cum Icicles

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>>29168162
>>29168236
>tfw you will never make love to your waifu in front of a warm fireplace on new years

>>29168268
Why did you give me this feel.
>>29168283
Your adorable when your so stupid that you cant give a reasonable argument without looking like a paranoid child, and that you have to yell commie to think you won. Thanks for the you by the way. And you wonder why people like you are laughed at from far away, your so dumb you might just shoot someone. Which I will now indulge in, ha ha.

>>29168342
>Is this a meme or something?
Kill yourself

>>29168347
Your right, I'm done with this>>29168342
>>29168350
Dude I seriously don't know what this>>29168321 is talking about.

>>29168489
NOTHING

Oh hell, is this about to become a /k/ thread?

>>29168497
>>29168499
Double negatives are bad m'kay.
>>29168506
Only if these guys>>29168501 keep going.

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>>29168506
yes.

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>>29168506
ITS TOO LATE

IT ALREADY IS

>>29168512
Okay, my curiosity needs to be sated. What specifically triggered you into thinking this, I want to see the line that did it for you. Because you are so vague right now that I have no idea what your going on about.

>>29168532
INFRINGED

My poor innocent poners. You are too perfect and pure and pretty to be exposed to politics.
The worst part is when the people on the same side as me make terrible, unsupported, arguments.

>>29168340
At least I got a funny picture out of it.

>>29168506
/k/-ponies thread would be hilarious if only people who have obviously never absorbed a single lesson about criminology, statistics or rhetoric would refrain from sperging out in it.