Anonymous in Equestria Thread #1112

>>29139027
Hello, AiE. Two years ago or so, there was a prompt for going to Equestria, but ending up in a super edgy body. Anon must struggle against the fear of most everyone he meets, and the shame of having such an OC body. This is when I started writing for /mlp/ and got a pastebin. Now, after a couple years, I am continuing it. If you want to read it from the start, go to http://pastebin.com/u/Uh-hmmm and look for Cold Edge Anon. It's a little rough in the beginning, but it gets better, I think. If you don't want to start there, I have prepared a summary.

Anon wakes up as a tiger-pony with ice powers in the frozen north somewhere, ends up becoming Sombra's friend and parole officer as Sombra tries to establish an independent kingdom. Shenanigans ensue, and he meets a Yuki Uma named Frozen Hart, who eventually becomes his wife. Sombra hires a bunch of dragons to farm crystal food, and a bunch of Monstrous ponies immigrate from a shadow plane. Each group has liaisons, who are also interested in Anon. Luna has been snooping in his memories for national security reasons, and has also grown interested in herding with Anon. All the while, Frozen Hart has been slowly helping Anon become a lovecraftian being. Recently, there have been a number of bad dreams in Ponyville, due to Frozen's Nightmare mother, Mara. Mara ends up taking refuge with Anon and Frozen, after being pursued for her crimes against dreaming by Luna.
Character sheet here: http://pastebin.com/kUjM4Gq5

>>29139159
And now to continue.

> You end up giving Mara a tour of your mansion.
> She makes appreciative noises, often commenting that it really looks much better during the day.
> At the end of the tour, she turns to you and asks sweetly,
"And where are the cleaning supplies?"
"Cleaning supplies?"
> She nods.
"I can hardly expect to stay with you two for free. I'm pretty confident in my cleaning abilities, including laundry and organization."
> You glance at Frozen, who just blinks.
"Ah, we don't really have anything to clean."
> Mara looks uneasy.
"Clothes?"
"I make them if I need them. Like so."
> You spin a tie out of ice.
> Mara frowns.
"The same with personal items?"
> You shrug.
"I haven't been here that long, and ice does most of what I want it to."
> Mara turns to Frozen.
"Birds of a feather, I see."
> Frozen smiles.
> Mara returns her attention to you.
"I am a stellar cook."
> She gets nervous.
"Anonymous, you do eat, right?"
> It's your turn to be uncertain.
"We're talking normal pony food, not actually cooking stars?"
> She laughs gently behind her hoof.
"Stars can't be cooked, Anon. I shall be your live-in chef, if that is acceptable."
"Ah, sure?"
> It's not like she'll cost much to have around, having already been fed for four months.
> Just then, your stomach growls.
> Mara beams.
"Duty calls."
> Then her face falls.
"Where was the kitchen again?"

>>29139163
> As you enter your entrance hall, space warps and you catch a glimpse of Discord waving at you.
> You wave back, and Luna appears, slightly disoriented.
> She calls out in her Royal Canterlot Voice,
"I HAVE TRACED THE PATH OF THE MONSTER TO THY HOME, ANONYMOUS! BEWARE LEST THOU BE PREYED UPON!"
> Mara is offended.
"The Monster!?"
> You take a few steps forward.
"A little late, Luna. But it's fine now, she's my chef."
> Luna focuses on you.
"Ah, Anonymous, thou art safe, we are glad. Come, let us track down the monster and bring it to justice!"
> Mara looks at you pleadingly.
"You don't think I'm a monster, do you?"
> You pat her hoof comfortingly.
"No more than I am, which is to say, slightly monstrous, but in a good way.
> Luna notices her for the first time.
"Thou hast yet another mare in thy herd, Anonymous? How many til thou art sated?"
> Your mother-in-law looks at you with wide eyes.
"I'm in your herd?"
> This is all happening too fast.
"I don't think so? At least, not yet."
> Frozen gazes at you primly.
"Not yet?"
> There are too many mares.
> Or not enough.
"Look, you are the only confirmed member of my herd, I still haven't decided on anyone else."
> Frozen becomes, if possible, more unreadable.
"I do not like this uncertainty on whether or not you wish to be intimate with my mother."
> Dang it, how are you supposed to take that?
> Luna's nostrils flare, catching the scent of her prey.
"I am yet unconfirmed, and thou art considering this monster as a mate?"
> Mara hides behind you.

>>29139166
> Frozen glares at Luna.
"That is my mother, Princess."
> Luna is at a temporary loss for words.
> Now is your chance.
"Luna, Mara here has agreed to be my personal chef. That panic in the streets was my fault, but now she won't cause another nightmare for about four months."
> And breathe.
> Luna is unsatisfied, but less upset.
> She addresses Mara directly.
"Do we have thy oath that thou shalt not trouble the dreams of mine ponies for four months?"
> Mara stands a little straighter.
"Upon my tongue, I do swear as thou sayest."
> Luna nods, and turns to you.
"Thus shall I leave her under thy watch, parole officer Anonymous. Now, if thou wilt excuse us, it is past time that I retire."
> She strides out of the mansion, and into the spacial disruptions that lead back to Ponyville.
> Mara gazes at you timidly.
"You really think I could be in your herd?"
> Oh yes, this didn't stop being a thing.
"Look, you're an attractive enough mare, and I can't deny you are intriguing, and Frozen, help me out here!"
> Your wife watches you neutrally.
"It is your choice. Far be it from me to meddle with the desires of your heart."
> She pauses.
"Or your libido."
> You are pretty sure she's teasing you now.
"So you wouldn't mind if I got intimate with your mom?"
> Mara fans herself with her hooves.
"Ara ara, what a bold young stallion!"
> Frozen blinks.
"Even if you were to do so in front of me, I would not have the right to protest."
> Mara is looking at you expectantly.
> No way are you going to test that.
> ...
> ...
> Not yet, at least.
"Let me think on this, and actually get to know her first."
> Frozen nods.
"Prudent."
> Mara nuzzles your shoulder.
"Thank you, Anonymous, for defending me from your jealous marefriend. You are a good colt."
> What can you say?
"You are welcome, Mara."
> Then your stomach growls, and she giggles.
"Shall we continue? I can hardly wait to make breakfast for you, when it may win me a place in your herd."
"... Let's just go."

>>29139170
> You open the door, only to find the shadowkin liaisons.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say the world is out to keep me from having breakfast!"
> They are somewhat taken aback at your outburst.
> Nore Ihi cautiously steps forward, leaving behind a steaming hoofprint.
"Have we offended you, Lord?"
> Oh yeah, you are a lord. You had honestly forgotten.
"No, it's fine, but if you wish to speak with me, you will have to do so at a walk."
> You set off, accidentally brushing one of the glowing rods floating around her.
> It's pleasantly warm, like hot bath.
> Nore blushes, in her fire horse sort of way.
> Soon enough, you are trailed by five hot mares, and feeling pretty alpha.
> Ngee Chi teleports to your side.
"If this is part of your routine, do you wish to see the shadowkin equivalent?"
> Well,
"It's just breakfast, and you guys don't eat, so..."
> Nore catches up.
"We could perform the traditional feeding ceremony, if it pleases you."
> That sounds interesting, but
"Once we get to the kitchen. I'm pretty hungry."
> You make it there without further incident.
> As Mara goes about breakfast, the shadowkin take advantage of the lull.
> You sit down at the table to watch the show
> Ngee rises up on her hind legs, towering a good six feet above you.
> Nore begins circling her, with precise hoofsteps in a measured rhythm.
> After a few orbits, you realize that she is stepping exactly in her previous hoofprints.
> Ngee sweeps her long forehooves, teasing at the current, shifting it into the visible spectrum.
> The torus of magic grows higher, Ngee weaving cords into an interlocking pattern.

>>29139173
> At last, it stands stable and twelve feet high, a shimmering cone of red and purple magic.
> Ngee teleports out, and Nore steps into the center, her six glowing rods keeping the structure spinning.
> As Xylalon slowly pushes into the side, the magic splinters and is pulled into the pores of her cloudflesh.
> Nore slowly backs away, keeping it as stable as she can.
> Finally, Xylalon floats in the center, the cone collapsing into her from above.
> She grins, the ritual done.
"Pretty wild, huh?"
> You have to agree.
"Unlike anything I have ever seen. I have to ask, how did the tradition get started?"
> Xylalon nods wisely.
"I'll tell you. I don't know."
> Nore kicks her cloudflesh, ignoring the small cry of protest.
> She turns to you.
"It's a tradition. Because of our traditions, everypony knows who they are, and what roles they are expected to play."
> Fair enough.

> The sound of sizzling builds slowly, and you eye the French toast cooking on the stove
"Smells good, Mara."
> Come to think of it, eating isn't so bad, no need to give it up if you don't have to
> Maybe you'll develop photosynthesis or something when you ascend
> Your mother in law smiles, a hoof going to her cheek
> "Thank you, Anonymous. You are such a sweet young colt."
> Frozen rolls her eyes
> Seriously, does she not care about her mom flirting with you?
> Although, if herding is a thing, then as long as incest doesn't happen, maybe widows normally go to their daughter's herd?
> Xylalon drifts into your field of vision
> "Hey, we actually have a favor to ask. While this whole snowflake layout is cool and all, heh, it would be more convenient if there were more concentric rings in the inner districts. Could you or King Sombra do that?"
> You check on the layout through the citadel input
> You get the sense that most beacorns don't like to go too far inward, judging by the flow of the currents

This thread is killing /mlp/

>>29139177
> Looking at the buildings themselves, the alleys and streets are probably a bit too steeply angled for the circumspect pathing the shadowkin seem to favor
> Could you reorganize the buildings and streets?
> Maybe, but you may have a better idea
"How about a concentric series of elevated walkways?"
> Nore Ihi dips her head
> "We approve of this solution, provided there are sufficient access points."
> Right
> You tap on the floor, seeking out Sombra
> It seems he's overlooking the fields, holding hooves with Maud
> Awww
"I'll talk to Sombra about it later. He's a bit preoccupied right now."
> Nore tilts her head, then shrugs
> "We thank you, Lord, for you consideration."
"Glad I can help."
> Ngee Chi clears her throat
> "Ah, we should be off, we have a negotiation with the draconian executive council. By your leave, Lord Anonymous."
> You nod
"Good luck."
> The liaisons depart with a few more murmured pleasantries
> ...
> You may never get used to being a Lord, you think
> A plate slides in front of you, three steaming slices of French toast covered in syrup
> You look at Mara in surprise
"That was quick, thanks."
> She beams at you
> "You are quite welcome, Anonymous."
> Didn't you read somewhere, that using a person's name a lot when talking to them is some sort of charm tactic?

>>29139181
If one thread can kill an entire board, the board doesn't deserve to live.

>>29139182
> Which probably isn't too surprising, given she is actively aiming for a spot in your herd
> Well, no more delays
> Your magic cuts the French toast into bite size pieces, levitating one to your mouth
> Feels weird not using silverware, but magic is clearly superior
> You chew on the piece, the richness of the egg perfectly sealed in the bread, the sweet maple syrup offsetting the savory toast perfectly
> You hum in pleasure, to Mara's obvious delight
> Frozen sniffs at your food
> "May I? It has been a long time since I have tasted mother's cooking."
> You swallow
"Feel free. It's pretty good food."
> She smiles at you, then dips her head to the plate, her supple tongue deftly scooping up a piece
> You suddenly feel a little hot under the collar
> You want to see that again, when you dream, and put that tongue to work
> Frozen just closes her eyes in contentment as she chews
> Cute
> Your stomach growls
> Oh yeah, you're hungry
> You go to town on the French toast, Frozen stealing a bite here or there
> All the while, Mara fondly looks on

>>29139188
That's it for now.
You may have noticed how I marked dialogue changed midway through. The first part, where all dialogue is black text, is from when I was first writing the story. Now I have changed to only Anon's dialogue in black. Hope there wasn't too much confusion.

>>29139208
I like thing. Welcome to the thread, Uh-hmmm

>>29139028
Work is its' own reward in his profession, Anon. The sex is free; it's the post-sex cuddling that he charges for by the minute.

>>29139208
Welcome newfriendo.

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What if Anon wasn't the little faggot or a demigod everyone usually pictures him?
What if he was a man that simply can see business opportunities?

What if Anon becomes the gun runner and arms dealer, first one in Equestria?
Can we have a "Anon the 'one-man-genocide'" green?

>>29140157
Anon introduces Nerf guns to Equestria.
Celestia had to put him in time out because he was getting out of hand.

>>29140511
Interdasting

>>29139027
I am scared to ask what the context of this comic is, because of reasons.

>The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone

>Your trip to Griffonstone isn't going well.
>Maybe the map is wrong. Or you suck at map reading.
>Either way you seem to have taken a wrong turn and found yourself walking the bottom of a rather grand canyon.
>Probably best if you retrace your steps back to the-
>*BONK*
>"OW! FUCK!"
>Rubbing your head you look down at the object that hit you.
>A fancy gold cup.
>"Fuck, that really hurts. I'm gonna a have lump there. Who the hell throws metal cups into a canyon?"
>That's it you're going back to ponyville, this trip is a bust.
>And you're taking the fancy cup.

>Slice of Life

>"Anon! Thank goodness!"
>"Oh hey Mr Cake, what's up?"
>"We need your help, we have to finish a wedding cake in under an hour and Pinkie is busy fighting a monster!"
>----10 minutes later----
>You're covered in cake batter, icing is flying everywhere and you've no idea what you're doing.
>Mrs Cake's head appears around the door frame "Anon! More Rose icing!"
>Rose icing? You barely know how to make muffins!
>"Gummy stop having an existential crisis and help me!"
>The gater just slowly blinks once.
>"You scaly jerk..."

>>29141713
>Princess Spike

>"Why am I here again?"
>Celestia chuckles softly.
>"It's the Grand Equestria Pony Summit Anon."
>"Hate to break it to you but I'm not a city."
>"But you are culture of one, my little ponies should learn about you and you about them."
>You open your mouth to respond but you've reached the end of buffet table. The dessert section.
>My god, the desserts. There's only one single slice of cake left.
>Your eyes meet Celestia's. You can almost hear a western stand-off theme playing in your head.
>Eyes narrow, daring the other to blink.
>Celestia moves first, a golden glow surrounding the cake slice.
>"That's mine!"
>"No it's mine!"
>You crash into the princess, tackling her to the ground.
>"I swear I'll secede and declare war on Equestria if you don't give me that cake!"
>She flails back at you, bapping you with her wings.
>"You and what army?"
>The sound of roaring water and smashing furniture in the distance causes you both to freeze.
>"What was that?"
>"It sounded like it came from the great hall."

http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb

pg 10 bump

>>29139181
Take a cue from it and kill yourself.

>>29142554
Liveleak link when

>>29139208
Welcome newfag.

Horse pussy.

>Be Anon
>Working late at your job at the college library
>Everyone else has gone home for the night
>You're still here putting books back on shelves
>Suddenly it is daytime
>Huh, you thought it wasn't THAT late
>You check the time to see how long until you have to go unlock the doors and open the library back up
>It's 2AM
>It shouldn't be this bright so early
>Maybe the engineering students are out fucking around with a giant light globe again
>You should go check it because it's probably more interesting than sorting books.
>You leave your book trolley and go to the window
>When you look outside you see that no, the engineering students haven't been fucking around
>But the physics or chemistry ones might have been
>Because the rest of the university seems to be missing
>Nope.jpg
>You do a quick check of your hands
>Still got two sets of five fingers
>That rules out chemistry being the cause.
>With confirmation of major-level fuckery going on and a severe lack of fucks remaining from a lack of proper sleep, you decide to call it a night.
>You lie down on one of the larger couches and fall asleep.

>>29144788
At least shitpost semi creatively.

>>29145024
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>Working normal hours at your job at the town castlebrary
>"working"
>Actually you are reading a book
>A book about book binding
>You finish your book
>You don't notice much of interest happening
>Other than books
>Books are definately interesting
>You love books
>If books were a stallion you would marry them
>If only
>You make a note to see if you can create a pony from books
>You then begin reading another book, this time on the diffraction of light in poststable metamagic auras
>You're gonna build a big scary laser next week
>Fuck yeah science!
>After several hours of further reading you go have dinner and go to bed.

>Be Rainbow Dash
>Speedy flier who can go fast
>You're flying
>And then you aren't
>You're in pain instead
>You've hit a wall
>Did you forget where Twilight's castle was again?
>No, it's more sparkly
>You pull yourself off the wall and go look in the window to see what this building is
>You don't remember another big one like this in Ponyville
>There's just a load of books in there
>Lame.
>Twilight already has loads of those in her castle.
>Disregard library, gotta go fast.

>All through the town
>Not a pony was stirring
>Except for those who were
>Rhymes are hard, so let's ignore the shit bits.
>In the square of the town
>Something is going down
>A crowd was forming
>Comprised of ponies
>Concerned with something
>A murmur flows through the gathering
>A new threat was found
>Of minor importance, but not much was happening
>It was an ant.
>One of those larger ones that sting when they bite
>I've given up on rhyming at this point.
>But the ant was seen at the edge of town
>Already two ponies are wounded, Generic and Unnamed
>Who will probably not be mentioned again
>The mayor arrives to speak to the crowd
>"We're all fucked if we stay, I'm out of here."
>With that she fled to the train station
>And trampled the ant by accident
>Cowardice saves the day again

>>29145024
>Anon gets a job at the Royal Archives
>becomes Anon the Librarian
>when he's not sorting books, reading pornography section or kicking out Twilight, he's a part-time hero protecting the archives from changeling invasions, Discord, giant mutant parasprites, Pinkie Pie, breezy ponies, Cutie Mark Crusaders, boredom, spider infestations, loud noises, eldritch monsters of all sizes and descriptions, and some strange camouflage-wearing pony that tries to sneak in every night but ultimately fails every time
>surprisingly, archives are no longer such a bit sink
>Praise Celestia!

>>29145196
>Anon is in his library
>A pony comes through the doors
>Anon puts pony outside
>Pony complains
>Anon points to sign
>"No pets"
>Pony continues to complain
"Shhhh"
>Anon points to another sign
>"Quiet please"
>Pony is removed from premeses

>>29145138
>Be Moondancer in Equestria
>You have heard from your friend Twilight that there is a new library in her town
>A library with books from another world
>You want to read those ayylmao books
>You book a train ticket and pack your bags
>Go to bed because the train is tomorrow
>The next day you have breakfast
>Like normal
>Then you go to the bathroom because you need to go to the bathroom
>You do your business there and wash your hooves
>You check the clock and it is still morning
>The train leaves in the afternoon so you read a book for a while
>You then go to a cafe and have lunch before heading towards the train station
>Boarding the train is like boarding a train
>You continue your book while you ride the train to Ponyville
>You stop reading your book when you arrive at ponyville because you have to get off the train
>You get off the train
>Then you visit Twilight Sparkle who is your friend
>"Hello Moondancer."
"Hello Twilight."
>Simple dialogue is the latest fad which you are both into
>This in-story justification makes writing easier
"I am going to the new library you told me about."
>"Okay."
>You go to the new library
>No you don't
>You don't know where it is
>You realize this about a block away from Twilight's place
>You return there and ask Twilight where the new library is
"Twilight, where is the new library?"
>"It's the big building just out past the edge of town."
"Thank you"
>You go to the new library
>It is as tall as a castle
>The thought of so many books does not make you wet in a sexual manner
>Not quite
>But you are excited nonetheless
>Unfortunately it is closed.
>You return to Twilight's castle in defeat.
>She gives you a inspiring speech
>"Don't give up, there may be a solution to this problem."
>You are inspired and remain in Ponyville to try again tomorrow

>>29145225
>You are Anon
>In your library
>Recently many ponies have been trying to get in
>This is not something you can permit
>As a member of library staff you have to keep animals from getting into the building and ensure the safety of the books
>You also really don't want to have to clean horse shit off the floors
>So here you are with a broom at the entry
>Because not just any horses are these ponies
>They are some sort of magical talking aliens
>Which are still equines and possibly more importantly, not members of the university
>FUCKING NORMIES GET OUT REEEEEE
>There's one of the little bastards now
>Aww, he's got a little card in his mouth
>The tan pony puts the card on the ground in front of you before stepping back slightly
>You look down at the card
>"Doctor, The" former faculty
"Alright, you can come in, but you'd better not make any mess"
>The pony picks the card up and puts it into a bag thing he's got hanging over his back
>He trots past you and starts using one of the catalog computers
>Several other ponies approach and try to follow him
>You smack them away with your broom
"No, bad ponies."

>>29145196
>Be Celestia in Canterlot in Equestria
>Your princess sense is tingling
>There are delicious snacks somewhere
>Snacks that you do not have
>You rush to your princess-pole and slide down to the princess-cave
>Alfred is there at the princess-computer with an erection
>He moves aside so you can use it
>You minimise the princess-pornography and bring up the princess-tracker princess-app
>The screen turns green and repetitive beeping begins
>This is taking too long
>You jam your horn into the PSB (Princess Serial Bus) port and shoot magic into the princess-computer
>The green screen with lines and dots changes to a map
>The snacks are near Ponyville
>You must leave at once
>The fastest way to get there is the princess-plane, but since you do not have Luna with you you will have to parachute out and abandon it to crash into the forest
>Luna arrives
>"Celestia, we sensed it too"
>Damn, you wanted to parachute
>That would be so cool
"Boy wonder, there is no time to spare. Get into the princess-plane"
>"Right away Celestia"
>The side of the mountain opens up and the two of you fly out and away towards the town of Ponyville
>Alfred will remain behind and masturbate

>>29141719
I like you.
>You are He-Mare, defender of Eternia.
>You are fucking your cat.
>Then the phone rings.
"Damnit not again."
>This happens every time.
>You pick up the phone.
"Hello, He-Mare here."
>"This is your automated wakeup call for. Three. P.M. Have a nice day."
>You didn't order any wakeup calls, and Battle Cat is a cat which means he can't use a telephone.
>This is strange.
>Too strange.
>You stab the phone with your sword and go back to putting your more metaphorical sword into Battle Cat.

>>29139208
I have no idea what happened up to this point since it was posted so long ago.
Keep on writing, I look forward to more.

>>29145364
>You are Supermare, alien in Equestria
>No not like Anon, you aren't a human
>But you do keep you real name hidden
>It's completely different damnit!
>You're a reporter and a superhero and you have a love interest and everything!
>Your super-hearing let you hear Princess Celestia rush off to save the day
>You're not about to let her have all the fun. You fly over to where she is really fast
>Like super fast
>But you don't look where you're going well enough and smash through her prinacess-plane and splatter her across the sky and subsequently the countryside
>You're not faring much better, since she keeps a Argonite ring in her utility belt just in case she needs to kick your ass
>Argonite is your weakness.
>And you hit that ring at several times the speed of sound
>It tears your body apart and leaves you powerless
>You fall to the ground and leave a bloody smear from hitting it at such an extreme speed
>Today was not a good day to be a superhero

>>29145423
I-is princess luna ok?

>>29145423
>Be Princess Celestia in your princess-plane
>No you didn't get smashed up by some mary sue with their underpants on wrong
>In fact your princes-plane has princess-collision-avoidance-systems and princess-radar that would stop that from ever possibly happening
>You soar safely to Ponyville where Luna lands it using princess-VTOL in a field
>The two of you get out and rush towards where the map said the snacks are
>There's a big building
>The snacks must be inside
>That's logic that is.
>Unless they're on the roof or behind it.
>Then it wouldn't be logic.
>That's just logic, that is.
>Now, if you were building a snactorium where would you put the entrance?
>At the front! Of course!
>You go to the front.
>There are some glass doors there.
>You've never seen a door made out of glass before.
>You always thought they'd be more door like if they existed though.
>You don't see a door knob at all.
>Now what is a door without a doorknob?
>A knob is another word for penis.
>And males are the ones who have penises.
>There's a male changing room at the local sports center.
>The key to getting in must be hidden there!

>>29145472
I want a princess plane now.
Looks like I'll be saving those goodboy points for a while.
>>29145436
She's only dead on the inside.

>>29140511
Read as, had to put him down.

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>>29146442

>>29146942
All of those people who killed themselves to get to Equestria all appear on the same day. Unfortunately they arrive at an altitude of 2200 ft and plummet to their deaths.
This happens annually and is known as Human Corpse Rain Day.
All schools are closed.

>>29139208
Damm
>>29147380
Wait what!?

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>>29146942
>>29146442

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>>29147380

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>>29147723

>>29147723
>>29147739
Ok.

Something wrong with page.

It go very fast.

>>29148037
Shazbot!

>>29147723
>>29147739

>using a dead meme.

>>29148257
It's an old one but it checks out

>>29147380
I had a related oneshit to that a while ago but I don't know if I posted it.

>>29148276
Actually, I don't think I typed it out.
Just an in the shower idea

>>29141019
Anon does wackadoo shit in Equestria when he's bored.
The artist has become my new favorite AiE comic guy since Weaver sort of fell into obscurity.

>>29149776
Is there some place where it's posted? kthx

>>29150079
artist calls himself "shoutingisfun" and most of his comics get posted to derpibooru

>>29149776
There's neither alcohol or genitalia in Equestria. What else is Anon supposed to do?

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>>29145472

How about
>Green
Cmon gave us some fucking green in our face.

>>29151314
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>You fall into an open manhole.
>This is strange because usually the ponies install ponyholes.
>You do not have long to ponder this before you smack into the bottom of a pit.
>It hurts.
>While you are contemplating the pain something appears at the top of the pit.
>It's Pinkie.
>"HI ANON!"
>She dumps a large barrel of green paint down the manhole onto you.
"Why the fuck did you do that Anon?"
>"Because fuck you, that's why."
>This is very unlike Pinkie.
"What the hell is up with you?"
>"What is up with me is you gave me menstruation you filthy disease ridden monkey!"
>"Real friends don't give their friends STDs."
>Pinkie then pours more barrels of paint down the manhole.
>She stops when you have to swim instead of stand.
>"I'll come get you out when my cunt stops bleeding, try not to drown until then."
>Today you learned periods are transmissible.

>>29151433
Great. You're being sassed by inanimate objects now.

Mafia Anonymous when?

>“You don't think I'm weird?” He asked Her.
>“I don’t know. I just… I like you. I think you’re pretty handsome, and your scent really stuck in my mind. I like how kind you are to your friend. As soon as I looked in your bag last night I knew you’d been working hard to make a foal’s Hearth's Warming…”

>>29151498
>>29151441
>Be Anon in the mafia.
>You got snitched on by Al the snitch and the cops came and took you away.
>Then your jail cell ended up teleported to some other world.
>The natives let you out since they didn't arrest you.
>And you promptly became a mafia dude again by going to mafia street and asking to be hired at the fanciest house there.
>Then you were a mafia man again.
>Shootan coppers.
>Fitting cement loafers.
>But then a couple of cops.
>Who were up to no good.
>Started asking questions in your neighborhood.
>You got in one little fight and the Don got scared.
>She said "You're moving with my aunt and uncle in Bel Air."
>You begged and pleaded with her day after day.
>But she packed your suitcase and sent you on your way.
>He gave you a gun and gave you a ticket.
>You put on your walkman and said.
"Might as well kick it."
>You whistled for a cab.
>When it came near the license plate said FRESH and it had dice in the mirror.
>If anything you'd say this cab was rare.
>But you thought Nah forget it.
"Yo holmes, to Bel Air."

>>29150659
build a still and develop an appreciation for frottage

>>29151712
Anon is considered weird because he drinks spoiled apple cider and rubs up against them in public.

>>29151712
Anon figures he can just go around blowing his load on unsuspecting ponies whenever he wants.
Tells them it's a prank.

ded

>>29152170
No u

>>29151759
anon needs a pony to suck out a blockage in his 'yogurt nozzle'

>>29152298
>"Eww Anon, this yogurt went bad!"
Really, I've been eating a lot of pineapple lately.
>"What?"
Nothing.

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>>29151587
>2016
>getting bel-air'd in poni fic

I don't know what to feel any more.

>>29152749
I feel good.
You should too.
Durnk Anon is a gift.

>Discord turns Anon's beer into engine oil, bat blood and moose piss just for shits and giggles

>>29153021
>Discord goes through at least 7 Anons that way.
>No big deal though.
>He'll just summon some more.

>>29151587
Why do you abuse us so Drunk Anon?

>>29141719
>Party Pooped

>"And this is the home of one of our human resident Anonymous. He came to-"
>Spike interrupts, tugging Twilight's mane.
>"Er, Twilight."
>"What is it Spike... oh my."
>Around Anon's house towers a wooden fort, 10ft walls of wood, complete with moat and brazier burning on the towers.
>"Why human build fort? It look like bad Yak fort!"
>Anon appears on the battlement and yells "Don't even think of smashing a single blade of grass in my garden or I will take your-"
>Reacting quickly, Twilight cuts in, talking over Anon's no doubt colourful threat.
>"Next on our tour is Sugarcube Corner. This way please. Quickly."

>Amending Fences

>All alone in Twilight's castle. Huge, empty castle.
>"HELLO"
>Your voice echoes around the cavernous room.
>'Hello-lo-lo'
>"HOW ARE YOU?"
>'How-ow are-re you-ou-ou'
>"I ASKED YOU FIRST!"
>'I asked-ed-ed you-ou first-irst-irst'
>You feel like you're rapidly approaching a rather bad joke about echoes
>"That's it, I'm going to Fluttershy's place"

>>29154250
>Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?

>Don't think you'll ever get used to the deathly quiet at night.
>It's not even country village quiet.
>Unless there's a party or some other event most ponies turn in an hour or two after dark.
>So it reaches an eerie level of quiet and dark, that losing yourself in a book can't quite totally distract you from.
>As you flip a page in your book, a noise build behind you.
>It kind of sounds like a unicorn charging a spell.
>Turning round you see a white noodle pushing through the glass of your window.
>It snakes over to the bed, prodding at the pillow as if searching for something before retreating back through your window.
>"Yep. This reads about 5.0 on my weird shit-o-meter."
>Some bullshit is going down in ponyville again.

>Canterlot Boutique

>It's poker night with Discord.
>Or more accurately Discord swung by when you're pet sitting for your friends while they out of town.
>The real question is did these pets know how to play poker already or is it Discords doing.
>He's quite good at setting up the right atmosphere for poker though, even got you a green visor thingy.
>Discord looks unreasonably smug. But you're gonna wipe that grin off his face.
>Angel throws his card down, folding.
>"Playing dangerously tonight Anon?"
>"Put your cards where your mouth is Discord."
>"Very well. Four of a kind."
>Discord's smug smile drops as you grin at him.
>"Straight Flush."
>There's a wet chomping sound as Gummy spits out his cards.
>"Oh you've got to be kidding me."
>"A royal flush?"
>"Trust the reptile to have the best poker face."
>Thank Luna you're only playing for pet biscuits.

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>>29139027

>>29154961
I though new year will be fun.

>>29153905
New ones yet?

It's over. There's nothing left for you here. Why do you still hang around?

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>>29155765
Salty that your snowflake thread died off?

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>>29155765
>bitch

I have to see firework.
>Luna want to bang firework

>>29155765
There's green, light shitposting, and content still being generated.
Until it is truly dead, and I mean the "Mandroid has absorbed all the souls of the old guard and new before offing himself" kind of dead.

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>>29155906
How did you discover my real identity? No one knows I can do that.

I don't necessarily want to fuck a pony but I do want to fall in love with one and spend my evenings snuggling on the couch and the mornings snuggling in bed and the days snuggling in public.

>>29156082
I've seen it.

>>29156291
It's okay. You're allowed to want to fuck a pony.

But if you want to BE a pony, you've crossed the line into furryshit, and there's no coming back.

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>>29155765
Because it triggers you

>>29156291
>"Anon could you please let me go?"
No you're mine now.
>"I just wanted to be friends."
Shhh, waifus don't talk.
>"I don't know what that is."
Mmmmm, cuddly...

>>29157455
Plump. Pony. Belly.

>>29157483
Forced cuddles are the best.

Hey does anyone know the name of the story where anon makes twilight immortal who goes crazy so anon has to go through some trial to become immortal and get Celestia's powers back? It's on the tip of my tongue

>>29157455
>"I don't know about cum inside thing"

>>29157713
Exchange

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I think the reason that AIE is dieing is because there are so many other threads that are pretty much the same thing but more focused on a curtain subject such as the Anon in equestrian prison or whatever it's called. And instead of posting prompts in this thread they make completely new thread's. We COULD live but people just have to start posting here instead of posting completely new threads.

>Be Anon in the Crystal Empire
>You are here because Shining Armor fucked up a spell and teleported you from earth
>Now you live in a crystal palace castle thing
>Everyone but you, Shining, and his wife Cadence are see-through
>You are doing a thing which the author can't decide what it should be so it is not being described in detail.
>But now there's someone knocking on the door to your apartment thing
>You stop doing the thing and go see who it is
>"HI ANON!"
>It's Shining Armor.
"Hi Shining, what brings you here?"
>"I need a favor Anon."
>"My wife really needs to fuck somepony badly but my dick fell off on the weekend."
>"I know you humans keep your dicks year-round."
>"So I was wondering if you could take one for the team and jam it in her?"
>This is unexpected.
"Wait."
"Your dick exploded?"
>"Yeah, it'll take like a week to grow a new one and Cadence is insatiable."
>"Please Anon, I know it's a lot to ask but I'm not sure who else to go to."

>>29158268
Pone biology is so interesting.

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>>29158268
>Shining Armor asks me to fuck his wife
>Mfw

>>29157561
I need that pic of Pinka holding up the Anon warnings

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>>29158886
She just wants the Cuddler all to herself.

>>29159121
Thanks brah

>>29159372
My pleasure.

>>29159121
>Pony got brutally raped by Anon
>Pony like it

>>29159900
They don't know what rape is.
They just think that's the way humans treat each other.
Anon culturally enriches Ponyville.

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Clean pony is a happy pony.

Anon
>Wears a suit, class level: medium
>Chain smoker
>Gets butthurt when pony talk shit about him
>Fuck pony hard I guess
>Shit womanizer, becomes a filthy ape in the proximity of a female, starts bleeding everywhere
>Bullied by /fit/ mare
>Bullied by his dad
>Has a fanclub of disgusting nerd mare
>Works in the kitchen like a beaten housewife
>Gets BTFO by the mare she likes like the greatest of cucks

Anon type 2
>Doesn't own any shirt with buttons or collar.
>Functional Alcoholic.
>Uses self deprecating humor too much.
>Won't fuck ponies.
>Just wants to go back home to his wife and kids.
>Ignored by most mares.
>No help from Twilight.
>Has soulless office job.
>Will likely kill himself after a year or two in Equestria.

Anon type 3 (Kid version)
>Lives with Twilight.
>No chemical dependencies.
>Very confused by pony society.
>Misses his mom and dad.
>Mares keep trying to bad touch him.
>Stallions try to talk him into walking in the Everfree forest.
>Friends with Spike.
>Will grow up maladjusted if he isn't eaten by a manticore or something.

Anon type 4
>Owns multiple outfits for various occasions.
>House came to Equestria with him.
>Social drinker, non smoker.
>Sold his car to Twilight in exchange for a monthly stipend for the rest of his life.
>Enjoys sitting on his porch and pony watching.
>Friends with a few ponies.
>Refuses to watch the CMC.
>Comfortable, but boring life in Equestria.

Anon Vietnam
>Wears a suit plus a bambo stick and a Conical Hat(later Conical crown), class level: very high
>Not a smoker
>Knows how to make fun of himself
>Short
>Has a stand
>Good womanizer, stays classy even when he's being a perv and takes their pony pussy in good humour
>Bullies faggot and other nerd constructs
>Has a fanclub of millions of hot mare and millions of stallion as well while we're at it.
>Literal rockstar

>>29160968
Kek

New year bring me green!

Some anon promised to finish his Avatar of Death thing where anon kills Rainbow Dash and becomes the shittiest Avatar of Death.

I demand it be finished so I can stop visiting this board.

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>>29161865
Please

>>29161746
I'll whip up a thing just for you.

>>29161865
That sounds edgy was it edgy?

Ooooooooooooooooo baby! Who wants some three-month overdue green? I sure do! Remember me? 'Cause I sure don't!

>The first thing you experience, is your head hurting.
>Then, it’s something thin and prickly nuzzling against your face.
>You open your eyes and lift your head up. Currently, it is night time.
>Waiting for your eyes to adjust, you struggle to make out the scenery.
>In front of you, dotting your view, are trees scattered around an open field.
>Behind them, lay a magnificent, tall structure blocking off the horizon line. Tall, ivory towers with golden spires rise up from the structure.
>The simple, yet majestic architecture remind you of fantasy fairy tales.
>That’s when you realize; It’s a castle.

>Getting up off of the ground, you dust your pants off.
>It appears you are in a castle garden, judging by your rather close proximity to the castle.
>Maybe the castle is a museum? That doesn’t explain how you managed to arrive here, though.
>Asleep, at that.
>You begin walking towards the castle in search of the courtyard’s exit, and maybe a sign that could give you a bead on what this place is called.

>Your plans start and end there, though, because not long after you start walking, something, not unlike a giant hawk, flies from the top of the castle and begins descending toward you.
>Panicked, you run towards a tree not too far from you and hide under the leaves overhead.
>What the hell was that?
>That thing had a huge wingspan.
>Do the museum guards keep hawks to take out any unsuspecting criminals or something?

>>29163054
>Train of thought over, though, because whatever it is landed about fifty feet in front of you.
>In reaction, you do your best fast, awkward tiptoe around to the other side of the tree.
>Peaking around, you see...something. Definitely not a hawk, that’s for sure.
>A mix of Indigo and Aegean blue, the creature stands on all fours, slightly leaning forward, searching.
>It appears not unlike a short horse. It’s mane and tail, flowing rhythmically through the windless air, twinkling like the night sky.
>It’s body, beautifully defined, with a shapely posterior. A little on the small size, to be honest.
>Wait, what are you talking about? Why are you staring at this creature’s butt of all things?
>You don’t also need to worry about suddenly being gay on top of trespassing and waking up in gods know where.
>The creature scans the horizon as a long protrusion atop its head glows lightly.
>You begin to lean further out from behind the tree.
>You move your dominant hand around the tree while your other hand, which you’re relying on for the bulk of your support, slowly slides along the tree’s trunk.
>You readjust your legs for better stability and re-position your support hand quickly on the tree.
>Quickly enough that it rips off half of a tree lichen in a loud snap.
>You look up and spot one of the creature’s pointy ears craning in your direction with unbelievable speed. You dart as quick as you can back behind the tree while the creature jumps around.
>“Who goes there!?” the creature shouts in a high pitched voice.
>Wait, so, it’s female then? Phew, not gay after all. You realize your whole body is trembling like you’re hiding for your life and are about to be caught. It makes sense then, given the particular situation.
>“I distinctly recall asking a question!” the creature yells, “You have mere seconds to live if you do not comply with my demands!”

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>>29163059
>Oh no. Think. Fast. Like, really fast. Uh, well, the idea you're thinking of is better than just standing around, waiting for death, at least.
“Stop!” you yell, rushing out from behind the tree, “I don’t know how I got here! Don’t kill me!”
>You slam your knees onto the ground and thrust your hands into the air. You close your eyes and await your impending death.
>“What in Equestria?” the creature asks under its breath, a puzzled look forming on its face, “In all my years...”
>Five seconds go by. Then ten. Then twenty.
>You carefully open your eyes.
>The creature in front of you is leaning its head toward you, cocked to one side.
>You can see rather large, light blue eyes staring inquisitively at you.
>The protrusion on its head you can now see clearly as a horn.
>You connect the dots and finally come to the conclusion that the majestic thing you’re staring at, dressed in a weird get-up, is a mix between a pegasus and a unicorn, possessing both the wings of the former and the horn of the latter.
>You suppose since it looks so much like a horse, and from the pitch of its voice, you could safely classify it as a mare.
>Gulping down hard, you decide to break the awkward silence.
“I think we both have a reasonable amount of questions right now, so maybe, if we just can ease the tension a little, then we can both get answers, right?” you say uneasily.
>The pegacorn mare reveals an inquiring look in response.
>“Very well spoken for something that was just threatened to have its life taken away,” she states.
“It’s crazy what adrenaline can do,” you reply.
>A few seconds go by in silence. Your arms start to go numb from the exertion of keeping them upright.
“Do you mind if I stand up then?”
>“Very well,” she says.
>Communications aside, she maintains her cautious stance and resumes her stern look.
>Watching closely as you slowly get up off of your knees.
>Once standing, you take a deep breath and try to calm yourself down.

>>29163072
>You notice as the mare in front of you starts to relax a bit as well.
>Apparently, you no longer appear as dangerous as you once did.
“Nothing left to the imagination anymore?” you ask smugly.
>“Watch your tone, strange creature,” she retorts.
“Right, sorry.” You sigh. “I’m just on edge, is all. You really scared the shit outta’ me back there.”
>“Rightfully so,” she says, “Do you have any idea where you currently stand?”
You scratch the back of your head. “Other than in some kind of castle garden, no idea. Tell me, do you have any idea what the United States of America is? What about Canada? I have reason to believe I am nowhere near where I used to be.”
>The horse cocks her head and looks off into the corner of her vision.
>“I cannot say I have come across even the slightest mention of these strange vocalizations. Pray tell, can you describe these things to me?”
You oblige. “They are vast regions of territory where I come from, governed by separate large entities of government. That’s neither here nor there anymore since I am no longer even on the same planet as I once was, I think. Where I come from most people would know exactly what those places are.”
>“People?” the mare inquires.
“Oh. Sorry, that’s what we call a group of pe -- us, creatures that resemble me,” you say, “Wait, how do you know English?”
>“I do not,” she says, “but it appears the language you speak is identical to mine." A steady blue aura begins emanating from her horn again. "Are you aware of the immense magical disturbance in the area?”
>“Magic?” you ask, “Magic isn’t real where I come from. It’s just in old myths, legends, fantasy books, that sort of thing.”
>“Ah.” she says, “Indeed, very peculiar.” The mare’s expression takes on a more serious appearance “Pardon my manners. I have failed to greet you appropriately. I am Princess Luna of Equestria,” she says, formally, with a curt bow. “And you?”
“I am Anon of The United States of America. And I guess of Earth, too.”

Bomp

>>29163078
Luna's being a dick.
Threatening to kill people just out of nowhere.

>>29160466
If you are not careful pony will get into the house and misuse your appliances.

>>29160968
Anon on fire
>Is on fire
>Burns down any building he enters
>Severely burned
>Demonstratably the hottest guy in town
>Is anybody going to get him a fire extinguisher?
>Literally on fire

Gerbil Anon

>Arrive in Equestria
>Be taken in by Flutershy
>Live in her butt
>This is fine
>Still miss Richard

>>29164162
You don't have to be a gerbil to live in her butt, but it helps.

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Secret santa came today. Good stuff.

>>29164407
Last time, it was horse cock toy.

>>29163033
It was funny, that's what it was.

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>"I'm a simple mare, I see a half naked man, I Came"

This is the greatest end to the year of Anonymous

everything I hoped for.

>>29165075
Forget i say, i was gonna say

I'm lonely.

>>29165152
We all suffer debilitating loneliness.

>>29165232
>>29165152
We can be lonely together.

>>29165232
>>29165251
Unless you guy became a filly.

>>29165349
you are a sick man... I like it!

>>29165232
Except for me. I've got a wife and kids.

>>29165479
>No waifu
Good job A.N

>>29165505
I will always hold my waifu close to my heart and tied up in my basement.

>>29165349
Kek

>When you stare into the abyss …the abyss stares back

>>29166108
>And it keeps saying
>"Come on and join us. Your waifu is waiting for you here."

Horses are sexy

You should fuck a horse.

Anyone else get their secret santan stuff yet?

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>>29166733
Maybe.

>>29166732
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02p7D9H6_TA

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>>29163078

Okay, you think it’s time to examine your predicament. You get off from work and arrive home. Then, you grab something to eat and decide to go for a stroll. The weather is sunny, the day is lovely, and you’re feeling fine, so you forgo any added protective measures and stroll out into the sunshine with just your dark jeans and a black shirt. Just the thing to wear when you’re unknowingly about to fall prey to an inter-dimensional anomaly, or something of that caliber. That’s the most recent memory you have before waking up in a castle garden at night time, where you meet a strangely elegant horse that can talk and fly, with a glowing unicorn horn. The horse tells you that it’s the Princess of a land called “Equestria,” and that she’s never heard of two of the largest first-world countries in the world. Either you died in your sleep, or something unbelievable just happened. You’re hoping you’re dead, though. It seems like a pretty cool after-life so far.

You and Luna are sitting down where you two were standing a half-hour ago. She’s been drilling you on your world's technology. Apparently, in “Equestria,” the pony inhabitants, not horse inhabitants, have developed magic based technology. Much less technological advancement is required when you have magic you suppose. The more you explain about your world, the less stern Luna’s gotten and the more puzzled she’s become.

“And computers?” she asks.

“Another very complicated technology we’ve developed," you say, "Some seventy-ish years ago, when fighting a large-scale world war, a member of the now winning side developed the technology to decode encrypted transmissions from the enemy force who were relaying messages to their troops.”

You explain how later on, this technology was refined to perform advanced mathematical calculations in short amounts of time, and with some ingenuity, the human race developed a way to turn all of these simple calculations into advanced processes.

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>>29167749

She begs you to continue your explanation, so you press on. You explain how these advanced processes formed into ever increasingly simple user interfaces, allowing more people to join in on advancing the technology. You explain the rise of computers, the internet, and globalization. Very loosely of course, with lots of vague descriptions, in hopes that you can get the message across. Nonetheless, she remains as invested as ever.


“Fascinating!” Luna exclaims, wide-eyed, “Surely you possess such a device on you currently?”

Quickly coming to the realization, you stand up and pat your front pant pocket. You feel it. You reach in and slip out your smartphone. You notice Luna lock eyes with it. You brace yourself for inevitable disappointment. You dramatically hold the smartphone far away from you, and out of the corner of your scrunched peripheral vision, you stare at the screen. Luna looks on in awe, completely unfazed at your awkward display. She must think this sort of thing is the norm. You slowly apply pressure onto the power button, before shutting your eyes and quickly pressing it down. You let go, and slowly open your eyes.

Nothing.

Of course, it doesn’t work. Just your luck. On second thought, you contemplate how you would even charge the damn thing if it did work. Luna spots your defeated look and takes on the same expression. In fact, she looks even more disappointed than you are.

“Curses,” she says, “Your device is no longer functional, I presume?”

“Right.”

Well, a spooky brick is better than no spooky brick.

“Say,” Luna says, “Do you mind if I take a look?”

Why not? It doesn’t work anymore anyways. “Sure,” you say, moving to hand the smartphone over.

Before you are able to walk over to Luna, the smartphone is engulfed in a blue aura and gently slipped out of your grasp. It hovers over to Luna and she begins inspecting its outer surface.

“Woah, woah, woah, what did you just do?”

“Oh, this?” Luna asks,

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>>29167758

turning the phone’s face back towards you, “It is but a simple levitation spell. It’s something even fillies can do.” Luna smiles. Her smile then turns into a grin. She stands up, letting the phone onto the ground lightly. “There is more where that came from,” she says with a giggle.

Suddenly, she disappears in a flash of blue. Holy shit.

“Behind you.”

You let out startled profanity as you turn and stumble backward. Luna lets out a not-so-reserved laughing fit as you try and regain your balance. Calming down, Luna locks eyes with you and smiles. So, horses smiling can be pretty cute now too, you conclude.

“A strange creature appears in an unfamiliar world in a flash of strong, unusual magical disturbance it cannot detect, armed with only the knowledge of its home world and a dysfunctional device,” Luna starts, “How do you plan to proceed?”

“Well, actually, I have no idea.” You stop for a moment and think. “You’ve never seen anything like me before, have you, Princess Luna?”

She nods.

“Then maybe my useless brick over there and I could be studied?” you say, gesturing behind you, “Possibly in return for a place to stay. And then, if you wouldn’t mind, maybe helping me find my way home, if possible?”

Saying those words out loud made it sink in. If possible. What if there isn’t a way to go back? Even with all this magic around?

Luna hums in thought for a moment. “So you’re banking on your usefulness to us then, right?” Luna says with a smug grin.

“Well, it’d be a shame to just let me run off, though, wouldn’t it?”

“You are correct in that fact. I know just the pony that would do absolutely anything to get the chance to perform some experiments on a willing, never-before-seen cre -- person such as yourself.”

You notice just the slightest hint of the sunrise on the horizon in front of you.

“Very well then," Luna continues, "How does Anon the Test Subject sound to you?”

You grin. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

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>this thread has been around for 5 years

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>>29167768
It's in prose instead of greentext because fuck you. That's why. Shit's takes forever to convert.

There's the intro. What are you're guys' thoughts so far? Personally, I feel like this is the most boring fucking thing I've ever written.

I'm curious what you guys think, specifically whether or not you felt it dragged on or not and how the pacing was. Looking over it myself, it's difficult to judge, so I've looked at other greens and fics, and even though it feels like it might be dragging on, it seems in line with what I consider okay when I read other people's work.

It's difficult to judge your work without a second opinion.

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>>29167111

Happy new year you bizarre and wonderful group of people.

>>29168592
____________________soon_________________

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>>29167804
Its good, i like it, please do more

>>29167804
Not bad.

Happy 2017 from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, you glorious horsefuckers.

>>29169237
You know, not to get too sappy, but I needed that right about now. Know that you're appreciated, homie.
>>29169328
Thank you.

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>>29164407
Rad
I had no idea what to get.
I was going to get this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0NuXC8JU7s, and ziptie a little knife to one of the claws but Hobby Lobby a shit and they were out of them.
Just found where the fuck I put the po box key this morning. Check it in the morning.

also, merry new years

>>29130600
>She splays her hands wide
>"Behold natives! Your god has arrived!"
>The mare eyes her suspiciously but the stallion only had hearts in his eyes
"They don't speak English."
>"... Well that ruined the moment."
"How'd you not know that from watching me?"
>"Small details, small details Nonnykins."
>It would seem a big detail to you
>Femanon leaps over to you for an embrace
>"I'm happy you're still alive you know?"
>You awkwardly pry her off
"Yeah I know. Speaking of where's your ship?"
>"Orbit, I took a cargo freight down and OH MY GOD! What happened to your face?”
“The natives got to me. Believe me, I had no choice in the matter.”
>”You look beautiful. Always pegged you as a cross-dresser.”
>You’ll ignore that jape
“So why didn't you just come down in a stealth ship to pick me up and go?"
>She looks at you with confusion
>"You don’t know do you?"
"Don’t play that game. Obviously I don’t.”
>"Well don’t you think even I responded to your distress call just a little too soon?"
"Yeah I was thinking that."
>"It’s the mission. Whatever we're after sent out its own distress signal, it came from this planet, thought that's why ya were here, until I intercepted your distress message."
"Wait so whatever I was sent after is here?!"
>"Whatever /we/ were sent after, yes, somewhere, so we'll be here a while."
"Can't you use your ship to find it instantly?"
>She scowls at you

>>29170520
>"Who do you think you're talking to? That was the first thing I tried, there’s some kind of energy blanket blocking most sensors."
"Haha, yeah this place has a little surprise when it comes to energy. Have a look."
>You send her the parts of your SNI recording involving magic use like an excited child showing its parent something interesting they'd found
>"NO. FRICKING. WAY!!"
>"That is so cool! You know we thought we were about to crack quantum manipulation in my age."
"Idiots the lot of you."
>"Can’t argue that point, but these guys can just do it naturally."
>She whistles
>"Beyond impressive."
>You grin sheepishly
"It’s good right."
>"I want one."
>As if on cue the small stallion strides pridefully to the two of you and stands before Femanon
"I think you've already got one."
>The stallion kneels respectfully before her
>You didn't get a bow :(
>”Neigh, neE-eigh! Whinny!”
>For whatever Reason the stallion looks mortified, his cheeks flaring bright red
>Femanon looks at him with a terrifying smile
>”Aren’t you cute when you blush.”
>She squats down to pet the little horse
>He flinches back when her hand first darts out, but quickly leans into her head scratching
>Her wolfish grin suddenly disappears
>"Oh poo! You're not a unicorn. I want a magic one!"

>>29170530
"You'd be surprised what that one can do. He disassembled my personal processor to its base components then reassembled it without me even seeing. He's pretty damn magic."
>Her grin returns
>"Then I shall be taking this one." She states, scooping up the horse as she stands back up
>He squirms awkwardly in her grasp, struggles only ceasing when she clutches him tighter, pushing his face betwixt her bosoms
>You could swear he was grinning
"You know you can’t actually keep a native right?"
>Her grin fades again
>"Fuck... I forgot that was a rule."
“Put him down.”
>She pouts and sticks her butt and chest out, her demeanor like that of a defiant school girl
>”I don’t wanna!”
“What is wrong with you?”
>”What’s wrong with you!? How could you be so cruel?”
“What?”
>”That poor little pony behind you! She looks so sad all by herself. I demand you pick her up and join me.”
“You can’t make me do that.”
>”I hate to pull rank on you Nonnykins, but yes I can. Now I order you to pick up that pony, she’s begging for it.”
>You look at the little horse who’d appeared by your feet
>She was right, the small pony milled around dejectedly, occasionally looking up at you hopefully, then over to the stallion resentfully
>…
>Being out ranked by a crazy person
“Yes ma’am.”

>>29170540
>You crouch down to grab the mare, expecting at least some resistance, but she eagerly jumps into your arms
>She neighs happily to her friend and snuggles up against you
“You stupid horse. Femanon Why’d you make me do this? This one was already getting a bit clingy.”
>”I’m a firm believer in equal treatment. Could you stand watching just one puppy from the littler not being fed? Now what were we doing again.”
“Why’d they ever let you back into the field? We were going to search for this object.”
>”Oh yeah. We need to set up a base. The native’s house will do.”
“You can’t just take their house it’s against policy! Speaking of, can we put these guys down?”
>The small pony was getting annoying with her squirming
>Femanon034 stares at you vacantly
>”… Oh yeah! Forgot to tell you we’ve been given DEF-CON 1 clearance by GovCentral. You and I can do whatever we want to retrieve the objective.”
>Jesus Christ. The UTSC must want this thing more than you could comprehend
“I don’t want to supplant these guys from their home.”
>”Tough tits Knight, they’ll get it back once we’re finished here, good as new. Think of it like us renting a room or something. But this is an official UTSC operation, and we will be using their planet as a base of operations, plus this will soon become a research outpost due to the discovery of this “magic” and once that’s over it’ll likely become a tourist planet.”
>”That pretty much means these guys get a free pass to the United Terran Space Confederation and its associated technologies. Therefore, it’s only prudent we set up some communication with their leaders, informing them of the situation before we proceed.”
“Yeah that’s what they were trying to tell me before you turned up as the queen of ego.”

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My new years resolution is to actually write my fucking stories again after two months.

Fuck movies.

merry new year

>>29170563
>”Trying? Why haven’t you established proper communications with these natives yet? I know they don’t speak English Knight but there are ways around that.”
“Well the only idea I had would hurt them, so I haven’t tried it yet.”
>”My records show that you had a pair of civilian class Neural Nanonics in your storage, use those.”
“Yeah that was my idea, but things are very primitive here, No anesthesia, they’d have to be inserted while conscious and that would hurt the things too much.”
>”Too bad, we need communications, and you call yourself a knight."
>She sighs
>"But I will help with your moral qualms.” She says, as a small dart gun appears in her hand
>A second later both beasts were drooling at the mouth, small dart embedded in their necks
“How could you do that to those poor natives?”
>Her face hardens
>”Because I have to for the good of mankind, now get your nanonics and start them up before they wake. Be glad I was kind enough waste tranquilizers on them.”
“You couldn’t have asked them first?”
>”… How?”
>…
“Shit.” You whisper under your breath
>How could she switch from being such a happy person to being such a hard arse?
“Will do ma’am.” You salute, setting the sleeping mare down and marching to the native’s home, leaving Femanon and the ponies alone

Happy New Year AiE, might write something soon again, before dropping off the face of the world again. Just wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year before going to bed.

>>29170586
God, finally!
>>29170611
Ya sure.

Merry New Year, my dudes

>>29158251
Guess I'll have to post my prison updates here then
Too drunk to think, just have everyone a happy new years thing
May you guys get more green this new year

>>29171031
y-you too

>>29170582
>after two months.
Is that all?

>>29172124
Start of a good for you breakfast.

>>29172124
You know those sausages are going to give her the shits.

>>29170582
Fuck Superman

>>29172209
She uses the methane as a source of hydrogen to keep the sun going.

>>29172239
That seems to be an inefficient system.

>>29173036
>Pinkie's tail is more air than hair.
This confuses me.

>>29171031
Everyone in every side thread should be posting here.

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>>29173036

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>>29167797
>I've been writing for this thread for 4 years

>>29174232
Hey you, since you're around, how do you go about planning out a story? Tips, things you find work for you, that sort of thing.

Do you like, write out a summary for every major plot point and then weave everything together, do you write the ending first, etc.

Also, luvubb

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>>29174288

I don't actually plan out a lot of my stories, because a lot of them are just oneshots where I thought of an idea and wanted to write it out. But let me see...

I would definitely recommend writing out your major plot points (or at least having an idea of them), as well as your sub-major points for each chapter. Also, do it immediately when you come up with the idea, because I think of good ideas, and then forget about them, only to resurrect them in a form that I don't think is as satisfying.

Absolutely come up with your ending before starting a story - endings are the hardest part, and if you blow it, then the whole story can be turned to shit (see Homestuck, Legend of Korra, etc.).

Use the rule of Chekhov’s gun. If a gun appears in Act I, it should be fired by Act III.

Don’t ever do what you think Hollywood would do. There a lot of crutches in writing that we can use to stand on: tropes, memes, cliches, whatever. Lampshade hang them. You’ll find your stories are more creative that way.

Use this list when creating your villain's plots: http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

Use characters from fiction (or non-fiction, for that matter) to help craft your own characters. Someone you admire often makes a great character for a story, and you'll often find that you can develop them in interesting ways to make the simile not so obvious.

I really like this guy's tips: http://yudkowsky.tumblr.com/writing
But he's kind of an asshat, and his one work is really didactic and preachy with a Gary Stu main character, so take it with a grain of salt. I like it because I like writing smart characters, and his strategies do work, in my opinion, to show that more effectively.

That's what I can think of for now. Hope it helps.

>>29173463
and eqg threads should be kill

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>>29174465
Awesome. Saved. Thanks man. Will put to good use.

I've always taken the easy way out. I remember back in high school the teachers would always force us to "brainstorm", but instead I'd just bullshit my way through it. It was always easier coming up with things on the fly and then erasing and refining.

I notice I tend to do that now as well. Just go sentence by sentence, thinking "What would logically happen next?" That obviously leads to horrible things in the long run, like changing the whole idea of your chapter.

Will definitely keep this in mind. Appreciate it :)

>>29154260
>Rarity Investigates

>This is pretty swanky. Very noir.
>Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men. The Shadow knows.
>"You look simply marvellous darling."
>"Yeah I do. But am I really the best model for this?"
>"Whatever do you mean?"
>"Well I'm not against helping you but wouldn't a stallion be better for showing off your new line?"
>"I may not have been entirely honest with you."
>Eh?
>"Forgive me Anon but I just can't stand you walking around in those scruffy clothes all the time. They're the opposite of fashionable!"
>You've been the victim of a terrible ruse.
>Flee Anon. Flee before the manedresser shows up.

>Made in Manehattan/Brotherhooves Social

>This is a pretty cool little event. Makes you wish you had a little sister for it.
>Hmm, what to do next? Could go watch the singing event and-
>Is that?
>You walk over to investigate a strange sight.
>"Big Mac. Why are you wearing a dress?"
>"Oh my, you must the human resident I've heard so much about. I am Orchard Blossom, a cousin of the fine stallion you mentioned. That must be where you see the resemblance."
>Applejack out of town and Big Mac at the social in a dress.
>You smell some Mrs Doubtfire shenanigans going on.
>Let's see how far you'll go.
>"My apologies. I don't know how I could confuse such a beautiful mare with a stallion. Perhaps I can make it up to you somehow."
>Engage suave expression. Raised eyebrow deployed.
>"Oh I co- I mean I wou- Well- Oh dear I think I hear Applebloom calling. Goodbye."
>Yeah see you around Mrs DoubtMac

>Crusaders of the Lost Mark

>What a lovely day.
>No adventures. No monsters. Just another day in Ponyville.
>Just have to go to the market and "WOAH!"
>"AHHHH. SSSSSSSSSSS."
>Landed right on your fucking tailbone.
>Squinting through the pain you see unidentified fillies running into the distance and an upturned applecart next to you.
>Dang kids need to watch where they're going.

>>29174778
>The One where Pinkie Knows

>"Cadence, Shining? What are you doing in town?"
>"Anon! We were just visiting Twily."
>"It's good to see you too of course."
>"Yeah I'll drop by the castle later."
>Cadence and Shining begin to walk off to do whatever, when some clicks in your mind.
>"Wait!"
>They both stop and look back.
>"There's something different about you..."
>"What do you mean?"
>She seems fatter than usual.
>Just married + Fatter belly = ?
>"Cadence, are you pregnant? Congratu-"
>------A short time later-----
>You are currently tied up in Pinkie's party batcave.
>And have been for at least half an hour now.
>Turns out being tied up in a basement is really boring.
>How do those damsels in distress handle it.
>When you get out of this, there will be explanations demanded.
>And then revenge.

>Hearthbreakers

>"Thanks again for having me over for chri- Hearth's Warming."
>"Think nothing of it dear. Though I do wonder where Sweetie Belle is."
>"Oh she's in the kitchen helping your mother."
>Rarity visibly pales at her fathers proclamation.
>Well not really, but you can see the horror in her eyes.
>"I have an idea, why doesn't Anon help instead."
>"What!"
>"He's supposed to be the guest we can't ask him to do that."
>"He can share some human cuisine!"
>"Well that might be interesting-"
>Her father doesn't get to finish, she already up and pushing you towards the kitchen
>"Rarity, stop that, what are you doing?"
>"Anon, unless you want to be drinking burnt cider and eating charcoal, you'll get in there and cook with my mother."
>You can only sigh internally as your shoved unceremoniously into the kitchen.
>Ah, Hearths Warming with family. We meet again.

>>29174786
>Scare Master

>"Manehattan?"
>"Nay, the city celebrations lack intimacy. We would be placed on a pedestal, unable to play with the children."
>An hour you've been at this.
>Helping Luna decide which town to visit for Nightmare Night.
>"Appleloosa?"
>"The buffalo have strange ideas about the moon. And us."
>Kind of wish you had a big map and some darts.
>"Perhaps we should visit Cloudsdale?"
>"I can't walk on clouds Luna, you'd be going alone."
>Shouldn't have picked such a warm costume, you're sweating in this castle.
>You'd planned to be in the cold night air. There's an idea.
>"The Crystal Empire."
>"Tis too far to travel."
>"Rainbow Falls?"
>"Hmmm, yes. THIS NIGHTMARE NIGHT WE SHALL GRACE RAINBOW FALLS WITH OUR PRESENCE!"
>Finally.

http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb

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>>29174792

>>29171031
Welcome you schmuck. Good to see you heehee on this end

sup gaybois, anyone recommend me some fluffy anonXpone

Crosspostan ninjas
>Anon is in a Questria.
>Not just any Questria though.
>A ninjaquestria.
>The evil ninja Rararachimaru pulled you into this world with her evil darling no jutsu ninja magic spell.
>You are trapped in her doom-carousel where she is trying to make you wear faggy clothing.
>Not just normal faggy.
>SUPER DUPER faggy.
>Today she tired to make you wear this one hat that was gayer than touching a dude's weiner.
>Your normal person clothing was taken from you and has been locked somewhere where you cannot get to it.
>You are powerless to oppose her faggot-magic.
>"Darling, I have something simply gorgeous that you must try on."
>Oh no, she's coming back!

>>29176476
>Be Twilight Narutle, chewnin of the Ponyville hidden village.
>You are out on patrol with your senpai Lyra Guy and have just stopped fighting some enemy ninjagos so you could have lunch.
>You have sunflower sandwiches and the enemy has alfalfa sushi.
>You are just about to bite into your sandwich when you get a sense of horror.
>It is flowing into you like a wave of drowning japanese people into a nuclear reactor.
>Clearly someone is up to evil shit.
>The enemy has sensed this too.
>"Fuck fighting you, I'm going to go join in that evil shit."
>"Twilight, we must stop them and conquer the evil." says Lyra.
"Okay."
>You and your comrades run after the enemy ninjagos with your forelegs trailing behind you, looking like some kind of retard.
>This is to make the enemy lower their guard so you can stab them.
>You like stabbing.
>Stabbing things is a way of life for a ninja.
>After a while both you and the enemy nijaginis are tired from running around.
>Also you are now in front of some freaky huge carnival ride thing.
>"Fluttermaru, quickly! Use your powers of nature to drop some animals on them to murderize the fuck out of those shits."
>"O-okay sensei."
>Fluttermaru does a nature dance.
>A whale falls out of the sky and crushes the enemy ninjas.
>They are completely flattened and covered by it.
>You are disappointed you cannot stab them.
>"Good work Fluttermaru. Team, let's seek rest and refreshments inside and then continue to search for the evildoers."

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happy fucking new year, you drunk losers
hope you're all fapping away to marecocks
here's to me actually doing something significant this year

>day 2 in Equestria
>standing in the middle of Poniville
>all the locals are giving you odd looks
>even odder than the looks you were born with, har har har
"I'm struggling to make sense of this," you say
>they ponder this
>they all nod, and say that if the circumstances were reversed, they too would be struggling to make sense of it all
>a bright yellow score display opens up above your head
>"300 points, achievement unlocked: EMPATHY"
>you look around you
>they can all see it too
>you shrug
>they shrug
>at least you agree on something

>>29176911
I demand more.
>>29176683
Write some marecocks then.
>>29174792
When you run out of episodes will you begin to write full scripts for another season of episodes, publish them, and then use that as a basis for more of these shorts?
>>29170586
Keep going.
Ayylmaos a interesting.
>>29167804
>>Anon the test subject
>They're going to stuff things into his butt.

>be weeanon
>this is like one of your amines!
>hair all spiky
>flying aboot
>duh duh dununuh

>>29177023
>Be Anon.
>This isn't like one of your animes.
>This isn't like one of them at all.
>No one here speaks Japanese and it seems like pony culture is based on the inferior and decadent west.
>It's Caucasian as fuck around here.
>Except for you of course.
>Only you can understand the superiority of Japanese culture where everything is perfect and nothing bad happens ever.
>Too bad Twilight Buzzkill is making you go to therapy as well as a trade school so that you can support yourself.
>You just want to practice with the katana you made by ruining that guard's sword that one time.
Baka Gaijin Ponies.
>"Anon, what did I say about talking like that?"
You aren't the boss of me!
>"Actually I am since you are a minor and I am your guardian."
...I want to go home.
>"I know Anon. I know."

>>29156944

>>29178035
At least say horse pussy or something.

>>29177595
I had a giggle.

>>29176945
but I don't wanna write marecocks
it takes too much effort
besides, I've got something i'm working on.

>>29178456
>Be Anon.
>Your arrival in Equestria had some unintended consequences.
>Mainly every living thing that comes within 20 meters of you grows a dick.
>A thick veiny monster of a dick too.
>There is a very well hung garden outside the castle you're staying in.
>The local princess in currently locked in her room conducting research/masturbating.
>She left her dragon to watch you.
>He's a good kid and is surprisingly undisturbed by all this.
>He said after the tentacle and yogurt monster he can handle just about anything.
>You're pretty sure you saw him put something stronger than tea in his cup.
>Looks like he's not called Spike for nothing.

>be cool dude Nanonononononymous
>or nanon for short
>be ripping along Ponyville, shredding the grounds like a cool dude on your skatinboard
>you pull a wicked cool kick flip
>all them lame loser pones can't help but look on in awe
>suddenly
>"hnnngggg... graaahhhh!" You feel intense pain
>pones look in horror
"The horror! THE HORROR!"
>"shaddup flower pones!"
>suddenly wings burst forth from yo back foo
>and you didn't even fall off the skatinboard!
>with the power of cool dude, music starts to play
>https://youtu.be/XeNKhm09Q88
>"wicked"
>the pones all around you are getting super moist
>even the dudes.
>you see a potential jump
>spike was not happy when you soared over him and swiped his cola


>be nanon in Pone PRISON
>you were to cool.
>also you stole a drink from "royalty"
>totally not radical man

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>>29179073

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>>29179073
>Pone prison
I'm picturing ow-the-edgeAnon sulking on a stool in the corner as Celestia tells him he's been a bad boy.

>>29179225
>Fluttershy rides "Goofy"

Headcanon accepted.

>>29139159
Hey, I'm the one who wrote that one, I'm surprised anyone remembers it and I'm happy it had inspired others to write their own stories as well.

I still wonder how drunk was I wnen I wrote that first story where Anon accidentally drenches Ponyville under a blood rain (actually food colorant he was bringing from Canterlot but nobody knew about that.)

>>29179953
neat

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>Be Nanon in Pone Prison
>You are the swoodest dood here
*BING BONG*
"all inmates to the lunch room"
>sweet!
>"bodacious yo! Time to get some wicked chow dawg!"
>your diamond dog cell mate starts wagging his tail
>"good boy! Let's go!"
"Bork borf!"
>you hop upon your skatinboard and rip through the hallway
>ain't no man gonna keep you down
>do a wicked sick kick flip and wall ride down the hall
*TWEEEEET*
"inmate Nanonononononymous! No magic wheel stick riding indoors!"
>"up yours old man! I'm expressing my individuality and who I am with this, to make myself stand out in the institution where upon everyone is unique, due to their own special talent they are bequeathed upon realizing who they are, a trait in which my species lacks, and thus I must make do with what I can my good sir!"
>you pull a gnarly heel flip
"Well, can't argue with that! Carry on!"
>"and furthermore, up yours! Fight the power!"
>the guard takes off his hat, as a tear rolls down his cheek, watching you majestically skate down the hall into the sunset.
>literally.
>"Oh sweet mother of holy jesus!"
>you've got pony butt in your face now!
>"hello sunset. How're you today?"
"Hello nanon. I'm fine. Although I suppose I'm a little moist right now. Celestias sun is a little hotter than usual out there.

>>29180728
lil kek was had

>>29180728
"Nanon! You must come quick!"
>"aye, ShimSham, you bodacious dudette! What's the haps?"
"It's your your waifu and son Nanon! It's awful!"
>you slap the clearly panicking Pone
>everyone in the prison gasps
>the guards breakdown crying at the violence
>Sunslut Shitter doesn't care, cause she was human once
>"hush woman! Calm your mammaries and tell me what is happening!"
"You're waifu and son have been coltnapped!"
>"Oh bother!"
"And they're getting on a plane to leave for the Uneighted Maredom!"
>"Well that's totally not rad"
"AND THE PROMS TOMORROW!"
>"NOOOOOO! You know what this means? PRISON BREAK!"
"or I could use my royal connections to get you a par-"
>"NO! A RAD PRISON BREAK!"
>you shove Shimmy out of your way and hop onto your skatinboard
"But you'll never make it!"
>you turn to look at her, peeking over you sunglasses that have just spawned on your face.
>"just watch me"

Part 2/?

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Can anyone link me the two ongoing twilight story pastebins?

>>29181970
>be Nanon
>you are skating through the halls of the prison
>Sunset is trotting behind you
"Nanon! We don't have enough time to make it!"
>"time to get radically serious then."
>you dawn a second pair of sunglasses
>you see the main entrance to the prison
>there's a line of riot guards
>standing at arms with their pool noodles and emergency churos
>you stop in the main room and a stare down begins
"NANON!" The warden bellows
"You may not leave!"
>Dis zigga.
>"Oi, maw there ziggy diggy! I'm outta here! This shizzle is wack yo! So not rad!"
"No. Not on my watch"
>you ready and hunch over.
>sunset hops on your back for a piggy back
"You sure you don't want me to just get you a pardon?"
>"hush tiny horse woman. I must do this in the way my species would."
>you scuff your foot on the ground
>wings glow to life behind you
>a bodacious aura begins to surround you
>your inmate outfit has become a suit
>"let's do this"
>music begins to play, Sunset looks at you in awe
>https://youtu.be/9D-QD_HIfjA
>you push and the skatinboard flies forwards
>"push it to the limit"
>you are hurtling towards the line of guards
>"walk along the razors edge"
>you can see the whites of their eyes, and you jump
>"don't look down, just keep your head or you'll be finished"
>they all gasp as you do an impossible grab overhead, and slam through the door
>the sun is blinding
>"open up the limit, past the point of no return"
>you land, and the skateboard breaks
"Nanon! Your wheely stick! What now?"
>you look to her
>"reach the top, but you still gotta learn how to keep iiiiiit!"
>and you run, you ran so far away
>the guards are after you, but you're a free man
>you run past the gambling hall
>filthy injuns
>"hit the wheel and double the stakes"
>"running like a bat out of hell!"

Part 3/?

>>29183426
Crap I butchered a lot. Will edit in paste

niggers tongue my anus

>>29184966
I eat ass

>>29170586
>A quick trip back to the mare’s room and you retrieve the two tiny cylinders containing the nanonics
>Your reasoning was that once the Neural Nanonics had integrated with their synaptic networks they’d have access to the neural network
>You’d communicate entirely by thought and they should innately know all the human languages
>Plus once the nanonics had scanned their brains you could gain access to their language
>Femanon034 clearly had the exact same idea
>You were hesitant to attempt it before as their application while conscious would be beyond excruciating
>Nanonics in hand you rush back to the trio before the ponies woke up
>You did have a few issues with forcing this upon them, but the tiny electronics would be a fair deal

>>29185288
>You return to see Femanon kneeling beside the two sleeping ponies, rubbing their little bellies happily
“Stop that.”
>She jumps up startled, it wasn’t like her to be caught unawares
>”Those ponies are too distracting.” She says, having the same thought
>”Hurry up and apply those nanonics, we don’t want them waking halfway through and going into shock.”
“You’re so heartless.”
>She grins
>”Logical!”
>Under her instructions you pull the unconscious mare to you and push her mane aside, revealing the nape of her neck
>You pull out one of the nanonic cylinders and activate it
>A series of titanium tendrils extend from the cylinder's base and latch onto the exposed nape
>With the injectors firmly in place you start the insertion process
>A slow stream of liquid nanoscopic electronics run into the mare’s blood stream, passing through the blood-brain barrier and setting up shop beside their biological neural counterparts

>>29185295
>They would shortly solidify into a jelly-like crystalline lattice, forming a symbiotic link with her brain and creating an extra layer of protection against head trauma
>That was the painful part, and even in her unconscious state her face was being pulled into a pained grimace
“Why’d you ever have to follow me you curious beast?”
>You repeat the process with the stallion, exhausting your supply of nanonics
>They’d have fierce headaches when they awoke, possibly be a bit nauseous and they'd likely be confused
>Hopefully Femanon would have brought a large supply of medical stimulants to alleviate those symptoms
>She sees the concern in your face
>”I do have them.” She says, reading you like a book
“Good.”

<| °_° |>

>Be Raan
>You need to go introduce yourself to that alien mare
>But what if you mess up? What if she doesn’t like you? You just have to get closer but you couldn’t
>Stuck in such an awkward situation all you do is watch the creature conversing with the alien stallion
>How can you get her to like you?
>Finally mustering the will through shear desire you plod towards the mare

>>29185316
>You were going to have to pull out all the stops for this one
>Approaching the very tall beauty you fumble a terrible bow
>That was it, you’d ruined your introduction already
“Ah- egh. I am RaA-atchet. Fuck!”
>Why did your voice crack? Your voice hasn’t cracked since high school!
>You hate your life
>You look to the ground miserably and blush fiercely at your failure and at Sky’s cackling laughter
>The mare unexpectedly squats down right at your height
>If the sudden movement wasn’t startling enough her paws darts out and catches you behind the ears from nowhere
>You recoil instinctively until the paw begins scratching
>You were mildly confused and very happy
>Why was she so fantastic? Why didn’t she hate you?
>… Oh yeah
“You guys don’t speak equestrian, heh forgot that.”
>All she would have seen was a handsome stallion giving her the utmost respect
>Yes! You were back in!
>The world is sent spinning when you find yourself being pulled into the air as the mare stands back up, having caught you in her vice like grip
>You struggle to no avail. She could crush boulders with muscles like these!
>It was all a trap!

>>29185321
>You were going to go for one last attempt when the creature pulls you up and into their chest, wrapping you in a bear hug
>Your face had been forced between her soft and shapely teats
>The were a lot like a Minotaur’s, just better somehow
>You grin
>This wasn’t too bad
>You could’ve sworn you heard Sky calling you disgusting but she was a little hard to make out as you push your face further into the squishy bliss
>You could die a happy stallion
>As the world fades to black you very well may have

<| °_° |>

>Be Horizon Sky
“That is so typical. You stallions are disgusting!”
>Such a pig
>Ratch had somehow worked his entire head between that evil looking creature’s stupid disproportionately stupid oversized stupid breasts
>You weren’t jealous or anything!
>What could Ratch possible see in that beast?
>As you watch your filthy friend dig away you do feel a twang of envy
>All he did was fuck up magnificently and the creature was being so affectionate to him
>You were being the kindest mare on Celestia’s sun lit planet and the big ol’ stallion beside you only treated you with painful neutrality
>LOVE ME YOU ADORABLE BASTARD!

More aliens, what will they do I don't even know

>>29185331
>Celestia herself answers your prayers when the alien mare barks something to the stallion and he crouches beside you
>Very cautiously he reaches out to grab at you
>More than happy to accept you step into his paws, enjoying the sensation of being launched into the air as he stands
>You wiggles yourself about, climbing up to get your hooves around his neck
>He seemed annoyed by your near constant movement but in the end you had one of his arms holding you up by the flank and the other over your back, keeping you in place
>He was a lot harder than you wanted but he was still nice and warm
>Plus he held you so delicately, you felt entirely free, unlike Ratch, who was still in a death grasp, not that he seemed to care
>You were a happy mare, even as things slowly faded to darkness

<| °_° |>

>Be Anon096
>You had the two natives underarm and were trudging back to their home
>Femanon comes sprinting up from behind
>”Got the damned medical stimulants.”
>She was slightly upset with you
>Originally she tried to order you to get them, but seeing her sitting beside the two unconscious natives made you realize you weren’t comfortable leaving her alone with them
>Speaking your mind on the topic had been enough the embarrass her into getting them herself
>”You were saying something about these guys trying to set up a meeting with their leaders.” She says, pulling up beside you
“Yeah, the stallion managed to get their point across with some basic images. Pretty ingenious. Apparently whoever their leader is lives in some fortifications based on a cliff-side. A white marble castle of sorts."
>”And where’s that?”
“No idea, the map he drew was a little too basic to garner any information.”
>”We’ll sort it out once they’re back in action.”

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>>29155781
Would you look like an edgy kid from the early 2000's for your waifu?

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>>29185354
Of course not.
my waifu has better fashion sense than that

>>29169237
This image fucking speaks to me right now. Mostly about the coffee though. I can't really relate to the rest.

Hey, I was writing a story about Anon offing everyone, but the thread died. I'll continue writing it and post a load here on the 9th. I will also update the pastebin then

>>29185351
I like it.

crosspostan
>>29185572
>Be Anon in the Ponyville gun shop and hattery.
>Buying a fucking hat.
>You are sick and tired of Discord.
>He won't stop inviting your friends over to Fluttershy's place and talking to them all day
>You can't get any time to see them anymore
>It's always "Sorry Anon, I promised to see Discord" or "I'm busy and can't see you tomorrow."
>And you are fucking through with putting up with it
>So through with it that five days ago you came in here and ordered a hat
>And now that the waiting period is over, you are collecting it
"I'm here to pick up my new hat."
>"Of course sir, have a great day."
>The salespony behind the counter gives you your hat in it's hat box.
>You go out of the shop and head towards Fluttershy's cottage.
>As you walk you open the hat box and make sure it's in working order.
>By the time you arrive it's fully loaded and ready to sit on your head.
>You kick open the door to the quiet animal loving pegasuses cottage and charge in, hat in hand.
>Fluttershy is in front of you and goes down quickly when you don the hat.
>Around the corner in the kitchen is Rarity, who you double-tip quickly and then leave behind on the floor.
>In the bedroom you find FUCKING DISCORD who you repeatedly put on and off your hat at, sending him jerking backwards over and over again as your new garment devastates him.
>Applejack stares at you in shock and horror for a moment before charging towards you.
>Tip Tip Tip Tip Tip
>She falls to the floor, skidding to a halt just in front of your shoes.
>You leave the house and check outside, but it's clear.
>It looks like you've finally done it.
>There will be no more Discord chats anytime soon, if ever.

more crosspostan:
>Therapist Anon is trying to get a job at the horsepital but the administrator mare won't hire him because she believes that males cannot rape.
>Anon is just WHY

>War vet Anon is in Equestria and ponies keep bringing him their sick pets.
>He tries to tell the ponies that he is a veteran not a veterinarian, but they do not listen.
>Even when he tries referring them to an actual animal doctor pony.
>He ends up using his first aid training to do his best.
>Animals begin building army camps around his house.
>Soon there are trenches, guard posts, and razor wire.
>Machine guns were somehow acquired and now cover every angle of approach.
>Anon permits this behavior because the follow the chain of command and would not dare break into the base CO's house.

>Anon is literally a forest in Equestria.
>He controls all the plants but making a body is actually pretty tricky.
>The ponies that live near the forest believe he is the spirit of the forest.
>Anon and the ponies have managed to communicate bu a variety of means such as plants such as mosses or vines growing into pictures or words.
>It's tricky to build a voicebox from scratch with no plans, alright?
>It's not like he isn't trying to do that.
>Anyway, the ponies near the forest have sent for smarter ponies to talk to Anon about his troubles with building a body.
>And they are leaving him offerings in exchange for protection and safe passage through the forest that is now Anon's body.
>There is a shack at the edge of the forest where Anon keeps most of them, especially fragile things like books.
>And porn.
>He's had a hard enough time getting that from the ponies so he doesn't want it getting ruined by the weather.

moar xpost
>Anon is in the crusades.
>Pinkie pulls him from the mirror pool along with the rest of her clones.
>He teaches the clones to crusade.
>DEUS VULT!
>They accidentally besiege Canterlot.
>Celestia does not know whether to be proud or angry.
>They are slaughtering everything in their path.
>But they are doing it for her.
>Ponk crusade slaughters deers.
>This is why Celstia tolerates them.

>Anon is in a lake.
>Throws a scimitar at a pony.
>They are now king.
>King Sombra.
>He was given a sword by the lord in the lake, making him the rightful king.
>He was a normal pony until he met Anon.
>Now he is king, king of the crystals.

>Anon cannot die, even if he kills himself.
>Ponies just put a bandaid on him each time.
>Even when he vaporises himself they just put a bandaid on the grave cross.
>And he's back good as new.
>Fuck you you don't leave until we're done with you.

>Anon finds himself in a world with no boobies.
>Breastless.
>No tits.
>No tits at all.
>Except himself.
>No chestboobs.
>No crotchboobs.
>No anusboobs.
>No flying boobs.
>Bonbon has no boobs.
>She is literally incapable of calming her tits.
>EqG portal leads to another world without boobs.
>Flat chest world.
>Ponies that see Anon's chest think he has a disease.

>Also maybe pony butts do not actually have butt.
>I dont know how it would work but there are no concave surfaces on their asses.
>No concave surfaces.
>Fuck your euclidian bullshit.

>Also the afterlife there is an equestria that has breasts.
>The afterlife of that Equestria is boobless Equestria.
>They loop around.
>Except you gain or lose breasts.
>Anon is always the odd one out.

Gooquestria.
>Rarigoo wants Anon to wear her clothes.
>She is disappointed he will not wear her interior fashion items.
>What if ponies are already goo?
>They are opaque goo.

even more crosspost
>>29185652
>Be Forest Anon in Equestria.
>You are literally a forest.
>You are made of trees and plants and stuff like that now for some reason.
>There are talking ponies that live near you.
>They don't know why you're a forest either, but are still nice to talk to.
>Mostly.
>Some of them are little shits.
>Like these ponies that have been coming to the forest for the last few days and taunting you.
>"Run Forest, Run!"
>You move some vines to tell them to fuck off.
>You also try to grab them, but you don't have any fast growing vines in this area.
>So they just flee when they see them moving towards them at about walking pace.
>You decide you will have to fix that in case these particular ponies come back.
>You really want to see how they would feel about not being able to use legs.

>>29185660
Hue

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>>29185354
I'd be down to take my waifu to Flavortown.