Royal Guard Mare Thread #17: Straight only edition

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>>29055030
Guard mare a cute.

I want to get into 'perilous' situations so she can 'save' me and feel accomplished about it.

>>29055095
Your not the Captain.

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>>29055030
Britannia a qt. A dead qt.

>>29055424
Oh shit, she's adorable.

And quite pretty too, I like her mane and eyes.

>>29055201
Prove it.

>>29055435
I'm the Captain now.

>>29055435
>>29055453
I'm the forever Captain now. No take backs.

>>29055424
EAR FLUFF.
SO MUCH EAR FLUFF.

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>>29055494
Do bat mares have the softest ears?

Yyyes they do.

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>>29055476
My hat is bigger than yours therefore I am the captain

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>>29055503
Most likely not.

>>29055510
This picture fucking kills me every time.

>>29055510
You can be captain of the slaves, I am the captain of the boat taking you to your new employment opportunity.

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>>29055535
*most likely
fixd

>>29055552
This

>>29055552
https://batworld.org/myths_facts_page/
>Like cats, bats spend an enormous amount of time grooming their fur, keeping it soft and silky.
There is a good chance.

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>>29055569
nice
and bat pones are part bat part cat

>>29055581
Most pones are part cat though...well the bird pones are at any rate.

>>29055595
all pones are part cat

>everything is bats
once the bat hater comes back he will have a stroke

>Batfags already turning this into their second general
Isn't that just great?...

>>29055603
>>29055610
kek

>>29055600
True. True.
>>29055603
Oh definitely, but it will be hilarious.
>>29055610
Absolutely perfect timing. Good work as always.

>>29055603
>>29055610
Nothing wrong with a little batpony every now and then.

>>29055625
Nothing wrong with a little gay guard every now and then.

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>>29055638

>>29055603
>>29055610
>>29055625
>>29055638

this thread is a sitcom at this point, I fucking love it

>>29055638
Hay there is nothing wrong with a little gay guard so long as that is not the main focus of the story.
And if it is take that shit to /HHH/

>>29055654
>>29055654
Kek.
>>29055671
No, that shit can go to HHH period.

>>29055654
>One thing is okay every now and then
>But another thing is not
>Even though both are about royal guards
>People can easily just filter the thing they claim they don't like, but they'd rather not
One can only wonder why...
>>29055671
>It's okay so long as you don't spam it
That is exactly why I wanted an OP like this.
>>29054661

>>29055687
>Be Anon
>See guardpony
>He has a raging horsecock
>He winks at you
Continue shitpost? y/n

>>29055726
n

>>29055708
You wont get it because you faggots ruined any chance to deserve it. Go to HHH where you shits belong. Shitposting and begging to be allowed pisses us off, non of you are endearing and never will be. Do us all the favor and finish the abortion your parents should have done.
>>29055726
n

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>>29055708
>>29055726
This is why we can't have nice threads.

>>29055755
At this point its better to just report them and ignore them. Wait for the bat haters to come by and we can all have a good laugh.

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>>29055767
I think it's just one bat hater.

>>29055726
y

>>29055739
>Go to HHH where you shits belong
Tell everyone who likes batponies and everything else, like RGR, the same, won't you?
>Shitposting and begging to be allowed pisses us off
>us
No, it just pisses you and you alone off. Seriously, nobody in any other general here reacts the same way you do when a gay is mentioned in one single story.

>>29055786
Well yeah I guessed at this point, its still funny though.
>>29055791
the rgre thing is so minimal and poorly written its not worth getting your panties in a knot. Bat guards are a thing regardless of your welching about them only appearing once in the show. And there is nothing else to complain of past the regular HHH faggots shitposting as per usual. And for this comment.
>No, it just pisses you and you alone off. Seriously, nobody in any other general here reacts the same way you do when a gay is mentioned in one single story.
The faggots aren't being forced to come here, they only want cock, ergo they have a containment thread already, for another fact, they already tried to make a all guards thread(specifically so they can post gay shit), and then they steal the pastebin list from this thread to use for it, then after their thread died of being archived before even 300 posts, most of which was their so called, tolerable gay topic that we should just ignore if we don't like it, so yes it us in the thread, not just me, that wants them gone. So shut the fuck up, and stop trying to defend them. They don't deserve it.

>>29055827
>the rgre thing is so minimal and poorly written its not worth getting your panties in a knot.
Just like stallion guards and Anon bromance stories, yet you keep getting your panties in a knot the second someone posts one tiny story.

>The faggots aren't being forced to come here, they only want cock
>I'm-fucking-plying
I, for one, want to be bros with guards who may or may not have feelings for me.

>they already tried to make a all guards thread(specifically so they can post gay shit)
>specifically
>Implying
Do I need to remind you yet again that the archives exists? People wanted a guard general where all kinds of royal guards are allowed, not just mares alone.

>>29055827
>>29056058
Holy shit, just fuck the fuck off already. Quit shitting up the thread every fucking day.

>>29056058
Then make bro ONLY guard story you lazy faggot, no one is stopping you, only you and the other literal faggot shitposters imply that, RGRE isn't shit unlike gay stuff, even if the guy writing here is bad at it, and by all means. Go to the archives, but don't just get the "All guards thread" that made gay content explicitly allowed, among other shit that was already allowed here, talk about the rampant shitposting and implying from you faggots that started this. I could use a laugh.

>>29056111
>Then make bro ONLY guard story you lazy faggot, no one is stopping you
Except people like you who will rage and shitpost the second one is made just because.
Oh, and
>Implying I want bro ONLY
I want both bros and hoes.

>RGRE isn't shit unlike gay stuff
>My opinion = law

>All that stuff after "Go the the archives"
Is your dyslexia kicking in again, Captain?

>>29056200
>making fun of typos as if it helps you win an argument

This is a guard mare thread. It focuses around guard mares, but can have dudes involved AS LONG AS they aren't the main focus of the story or discussion. Take Blu's story as an example. There are dudes, but they are far from being the main focus of the story.

If you want to write about dudes, then you can make a thread for that and if people want to read it and participate then they will.

>>29056258
>If you want to write about dudes, then make a thread for that
Because you totally won't shitpost it to death by screaming that it is a fake thread like you did all the other times, right?

>Making two generals that are about the exact same thing
>Except one is all about mares while another is all about stallions
Are you even aware of how stupid that sounds? Do you see any other generals doing this kind of shit?

This should be a Royal Guard general. Don't like something? Then simply filter it and everyone will be happy.
You claim that you hate stallions more than anything, so why you still haven't filtered that yet is beyond me. Can it be that deep down inside you secretly love it?

>>29056342
Make your own original thread and don't steal the links in this one, don't imply this is a fake thread, and don't lie through your teeth that we are against everything when its only gay shit we don't approve of here, and don't imply that the two threads are the same, you are bitching specifically because you want a gay story so make your own following the above rules and we will ignore your existence so it dies naturally by Archive, again. Oh wait, I just remember a thread for that, HHH. Oh yeah, so I don't forget this treat of a joke
>>29056200
>I want both bros and hoes.
Bullshit/10. Had a good kek though.

>>29056342
I'm a different Anon from the one that said anything about hating stallions. I don't mind them, but stories that are centered around them should be in a different thread.

If people are spamming other threads trying to kill them then that's a stupid move especially if they're titled "Royal Guard Stallion Thread" or something specific to males.

Most of us are just interested in seeing stuff about guard mares instead of guard stallions. We made this thread and keep it alive cause that's what we want to see. It's a place we can go so we don't have to filter through posts about stallions that we might not be interested in seeing.

Again, anyone can make a thread about anything and if there are people that are interested in it they will participate. Some people might go to both this thread and the guard stallion thread and some people might only go to one of them. We can make our own choices and hopefully that choice isn't brigading one thread or another trying to kill it and harass the people that actually enjoy it. That applies to both sides.

>>29056405
>Follow -my- rules and do what I say
>Bullshit/10
>Implying you know what others want
Are you genuinely autistic, or what? Seriously, You are acting ridiculous.

>>29056342
>You claim that you hate stallions more than anything
broken faggot logic that implies to the heat death of the universe, keep trying. >>29056258
And the proof is in the content here.
>>29056415
Dude, your trying to reason with these faggots. That isn't possible. Besides, we ignored the thread they made previously in the hopes they would finally fuck off, when we noticed them stealing our content is when we dropped a link to the real thread they belonged too. These so called "people" are just trying to mislead others into letting them suck dick in a public place, metaphorically speaking. Them complaining about grammar or this>>29056433
is the only straws they have left to bitch about.

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>>29055030
This adorable mare needs a name.
How about Holly Hana Grenadier.

>>TheRestOfThisThread
Shitposts. Shitposts Everywhere.

>>29056588
Meh it isn't that bad. Also I think we need only two words for a name. How about...Royal Bomb? Retired demolitions expert for the crown turned royal guard.

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shit niggas, pone is pone

>>29056588
I want to pet that griffoness.

bump from 9

>>29045438

jeez, so many posts and only 13 posters
well, here comes 14

>...
>
>You shift awake and yawn.
>"...Jeez, you really are nocturnal, aren't you?"
>Your eyes widen.
>That voice...
>Turning your head, you see that Anon is beside you, and you're both lying in a bed.
>You look around yourself.
>"-Something wrong, Vannie? You seem, I dunno, confused or something."
>You pause for a moment, then softly shake your head while you try to figure out how the hay you got here.
>Then you feel his arms quickly slink around you.
>He gently pulls you close to him, then wraps a blanket over you both.
>"-Good, because it's damn cold, and I need my fluffy heater right now."
>It feels nice, but your mind is still racing too much to get really comfortable.
>Your eyes trail around the room a bit.
>You're back in Anon's Ponyville house.
>Even the couch is there, currently unoccupied by anypony.
>Then you look back after a second, and see Princess Luna sitting on top of it.
>You jump.
>"-Whoa, what's wrong?"
>Anon looks over and spots Luna.
>"-Damn it Luna, were you watching me sleep again?! Even af-"
>He stops mid sentence.
>Like... completely stops.
>He just sits there, his finger in the air and a funny look on his face.
>You turn back to Luna, and she simply nods.
>"-Yes, my dear Van Guard, this is a dream."
>You knew it.
>-Well, not really, but you were going to guess it eventually.
>She stands from the couch and moves over to you.
>"But nevermind that, now. I will be brief."
>She flies onto the bed and lies on the sheets, taking a moment to make herself comfortable first.
>Once she settles, she looks right at you.
>"I am aware of the supplies you have stolen from the barracks... Nothing gets past my own watchful eye, you know."
>Your blood runs cold.
>-Oh hay.

>>29057358
Hey Blu!

>>29057358
Here we go

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>>29057358

I'm addicted to this green

>>29057358

>>29057378
yo yo whaddup my main slice homie g
christ i just made myself cringe

>>29057418
y-you too

>You quickly untangle yourself and move away from her.
>"-...And, I am willing to look past that, and offer anymore assistance that you all require, in order to ensure Anonymous' safe return to the castle, wherever he may be."
>...Wait, what?
>That's not the kind of response you were expecting.
>You stare, dumbfounded, as a sigh leaves her.
>"Though you may not truly see it... my sister and I care a great deal about his well-being. She has tried to defuse the situation from a diplomatic standpoint, but obviously, this has not seemed to work."
>You shift a bit on the covers, now noticing that your armor isn't equipped.
>You practically forget it's there after wearing it for so long.
>"I do not care for any kind of diplomacy, and would rather have Anonymous back, as well as see the Griffon Kingdom set aflame for this treachery. But, I digress."
>...Sheesh, she looked scary saying that.
>But the thought of what Anon may be going through is what frightens you.
>"If you may tell me where you and those helping you are, I will be able to assist you in any way you may need..."
>You pause for a moment, and she almost instantly notices your hesitation.
>"...I hope you trust that my word is true."
>You pause for another moment, then think.
>-Wait, what do you need to think about?
>This is Princess LUNA.
>Of course she's telling the truth.
"We're in the pie shop, where he had last been seen."
>She nods then looks off for a moment, as if gauging where that is.
>Then a soft smile slowly spreads across her face.
>"I will be there momentarily, then... I thank you for believing my intentions pure, 'Vannie'."

>>29055610
True lol
>>29055600
True lol

But really tho??? How can flatbats compete with thicc earth pony breeding hips?

>>29057493
>She hops off of the bed and casts you a glance.
>"In the meantime, you may enjoy this dream as you wish to. Time has no meaning here, and when you wake, only a second will have passed."
>She gives you this knowing nod, then looks over at Anon.
>"And, his personality was made from mine, as well as your own knowledge. He should be just like the real thing."
>And with that, she just lights her horn up, then vanishes.
>"-ter last... wait, where'd she go?"
>Your eyes stick to the spot Luna was just in.
>You're still left worried and a bit anxious.
>You trust Princess Luna much more than you do Celestia... but you can't help but wonder if you may have made the wrong choice.
>What if she just comes back with some guards and arrests you all on the spot?
>Stealing from the Guard, which is actually considered stealing from royalty, is a very serious offense.
>...No, but Luna wouldn't do that to you.
>-Not her, at least.
>Celestia isn't as open and straightforward as her sister.
>...You don't exactly know how she would react, though.
>Brave would definitely have a better idea.
>"-Hey Earth to Vannie, you alright?"
>You slowly turn over to Anon, which just brings a faint pain in your heart.
>You just hope he's okay...
>Looking at this Anon though, it's as if you're with the real deal.
>Even his worried look is perfect, down to the very tiny details you've spotted in him many times before.
>He leans over and wordlessly hugs you.
>"You know if something's going on, I would like to hear about it. I'd rather not watch my favorite pony just suffer in silence."
>His words register in your mind, and you glance up at him.
>Though, you doubt you'd ever hear THAT from him...
"I-it's... it's fine."
>He narrows his eyes at you.
>You stare at him for a moment, then sigh, your eyes trailing back down to the floor.
>They start to water a bit.
>You really hope he's fine...

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>>29057530
How can either compete with the pegasi's spicy personalities and romantic gestures?

Not to mention those fluffy, downy soft feathers.

>>29057884
That's why you get one of each. Breed the perfect pone

>>29057493
>>But the thought of what Anon may be going through is what frightens you.
>meanwhile, back in reality
>he's happily riding on a cart he jacked from his kidnappers after leaving two for dead in the desert and the third female for slave labor
rekt

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>Be Anon, secret service and special weapons operator in Twilight's castle
>Also a lonely perverted fuck
>Twilight's guardsmare squadrons do their physical training on mondays and thursdays
>The required uniform for pt is full armor plus mock ceremonial cloth garb
>Which includes socks and panties
>In the ten minutes after pt, when the guardsmares are in the showers, you raid the locker rooms and steal sweaty pony panties
>Go back to you room before they get back from the showers and lock yourself in their for the rest of the day
>Wear them on your head and breathe in the scent of pony crotch
>Masturbate for six hours until you cum blood and pass out

>>29058032
Had me until he came blood.

>>29058046
>he hasn't masturbated until he cums blood
after 3-4 nuts, you start shooting blanks
after 14-15 nuts, you just bleed from your urethra

>>29058059
I did not need to know that.

>>29058032
Wring out the crotch sweat from the panties and swish the spittle between your teeth then swallow as you rub your dick raw

>>29058071
>not getting all of the pony crotch sweat and putting it into a bottle

Ugh. So much disgusting bat taint in this thread.

>>29057599
The bat should be put in chains for this. Throw it in the dungeon and let Anons strong earth pony guard save him.

>>29056588
Isn't that Brittania?

>>29058202
Yes
Although she is out of her burqa

>>29057599
Thank you for not making the princesses into retards or lolevil. It always stretches a story's logic when the long-term rulers display a complete lack of sense; I was afraid things were going in that direction, but you've restored my faith.

Definitely can't wait to see where we're going to go next with this.

>>29057599
>You're still left worried and a bit anxious.
>You trust Princess Luna much more than you do Celestia... but you can't help but wonder if you may have made the wrong choice.
>What if she just comes back with some guards and arrests you all on the spot?
>Stealing from the Guard, which is actually considered stealing from royalty, is a very serious offense.
>...No, but Luna wouldn't do that to you.
>-Not her, at least.
>Celestia isn't as open and straightforward as her sister.
>...You don't exactly know how she would react, though.
>Brave would definitely have a better idea.

While staring at the spot luna was at. These are her thoughts as she continues undressing her anon.

>>29058715
Mare has her priorities straight. Besides I want to know what other kinky shit Luna can do for her unhappy guardmares. On a mission on the other side of the world, night time nap and message board for her friends and family.

>>29000900
>Another night, another sleepover at Careful's.
>She spends the rest of the evening finishing the gears for a hoof-watch she's been working on.
>You're not sure how she manages such precision work with hooves, but she manages it.
>With fine-tipped tools she handles parts so little that a single twitch would send them rolling away.
>No wonder there's such high demand yet short supply for this work.
>Even magic can't suspend stuff in the air without it bobbing around.
>Girl's got it made.

>You have a light dinner while she works.
>She declines to have any.
>"The... the cookies," she explains, when she's not gripping some jeweler's tool in her teeth. "Enough for today..."

>Bedtime, as always, is divinely comfy.
>Careful lies on top of you as she gets in.
>You spent a few minutes pecking each other on the nose, taking turns, saying "love you," testing the phrase out, seeing how it feels to say it, to hear it.
>It's not something you'd ordinarily say to someone you've known for only a few weeks, but, fuck it, didn't you throw that rulebook out months ago?
>You snuggle for a few minutes, listening to the fuel in the wood-stove crackle.
>"Will... uh..." Careful begins.
"Yeah?"
>"Will... I be available often enough? P-physically? I know it's strange for you. My not being human."
>The question makes you blush. Better hope the light's dim.
"It's new... Yeah. I've been fine so far. I like being with you whatever we're doing. Not to... uh, understate that... you know. It was good."
>"There are potions. Just so you know."
>The light's not dim enough to conceal the flash of excitement on your face.
"That's good to know."
>"That's why I ask. So we know what, uh, tools are available. If we want them."
"If we want them."
>She smiles.

>You smooch her and scuttle out from under her, getting in a proper position to doze off.
>Before you can, though...
>Careful shifts, getting up and sitting with her back to the headboard.
>"So... that Moondancer's pretty cute. Right?"

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I feel retarded for not realizing Vannie -> Van Guard. Fuck.
Also, cm, don't stop now.

>>29055030
>decide to check on /mlp/, after a couple weeks
>sees guard mare thread is still going
>see this thread and last
>"only way anything can be about a certain gender, is if it's gay"
>leaves what became yet another furry board

>>29058944
Hot damn, your last post had dubs too. Checked for you good sir.

>>29058944
>moondancers pretty cute right?
ITS A TRAP! ABORT! ABORT MISSION!

>>29058944
Unf...is Careful going to assign a cock watch with Moondancer helping?
>>29059026
this is also a valid concern.

>>29059026
>screams internally

>>29058944
Tread carefully anon.

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>>29059026
Mares are not women, anon.

They are mares.

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>>29058944
>>Bedtime, as always, is divinely comfy.
>>Careful lies on top of you as she gets in.
So cozy.

>>29058977
I need it.

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>>29058944
Don't shit your pants in fear Anon, guardmares can smell it from a mile away.

>>29059283
>subliminal messaging.

>>29058944
Don't lie anon. Remember guard senses. It will make it worse. Tread carefully, pun intended. Make sure you make it clear where your feelings lie.

Remember. Only one waifu, more than one ruins your laifu.

>>29059467
>Only one waifu.
don't be forcing YOUR human views on relationships into MY pastel horse land.

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>>29059467
Ponies are pretty big on the whole 'friendship' and 'sharing' thing, Anon.

>>29059633
"friendship" and "sharing" is one thing. Being cucked is something completely different.

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>>29057358
>so many posts and only 13 posters
It's almost as if there was a self-containted shitposting group going on in the thread for a while

>>29059748
Polyamory and cuckoldry are vastly different things

>>29059957
It is almost like people are having conversations.

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>>29059988
>conversations.
>I'm gonna post gay shit
>N-no, don't
Literally last 5 threads

>>29059961
Not to feminists.

>>29059961
Entertain my curiosity then - how so? How is a relationship with three people, two of which are women perfectly halal, but when it's two men it's suddenly a meme?

>>29060007
Feminists aren't people, they don't get to have opinions.
>>29060050
Having been in both of those relationships, there's no real difference in either so long as the love is real. Cuckoldry is specifically referring to sexual fulfillment gained by watching someone fuck your girl, or fucking someone's girl while they watch. That never really interested me. When they wanted some alone time, I usually read a book or fucked around on 4chan.

>>29060242
oh wow your something else.

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>>29060242
Wait, so are you trying to tell me that it became a buzzword that has been misused and turned into a meme? Impossibru

>>29060261
And what precisely am I?
>>29060298
Possibru. Even rikery

>>29059748
Hey its the child that doesn't know what a cuck is, you still aren't using that word right.

>>29057493
>Griffon Kingdom set aflame
is this the end game?

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>>29058944
>"So... that Moondancer's pretty cute. Right?"
OH SHIT. BACK OUT NOW ANON BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

>>29055638
As long as idiots with an agenda don't shove their dicks into every other thread on the board and wave them around chanting, "YOU WILL BECOME LIKE US"

Face it dude, some guys are NAFF, just carry on smartly. Somewhere else.

>>29056433
Nice shitstorm. Good going, homo horsies. >>>/fuckoff/

>>29060711
>>29060721
Don't do it. That faggot is on his knees begging for (you)s. Its how they sustain themselves sense they have no cute guardmare wife. Stop feeding them.

>>29058986
Did you never actually realize that /mlp/ is /fur/ 2.0?

Kek...

ooga booga yall people need to let us post male guard stories
>Ok, but dont make him gay or the main focus of the story
50 lines into the story dick is in mouth
>fuck off
(2 threads later)
Wow how fucking homophobic you people need to be more accepting
>we fucking tried but you retards keep breaking out of HHH and posting male-centric stories in a
>guard
>MARE
>thread
(They yoink pastebin to make a clone thread with all guards accepted, no green, 90% of posts are either us calling you retarded for stealing our pastebin or your shitposting, the thread archives before 300)
Wow we tried to start our own thread and you killed it, biggots
>dont steal our pastebin, fuck off back to HHH for gay shit
Wow guys look at this thread its so homophobic lets shitpost it to death and call them retards
>It was funny 3 threads ago. Now stop, we dont want you or your stories here. We have made this very clear

>>29060765
And the summation of our time here while we wait for our writefags. Welp...at least it passes the time.

>>29055424
Goood, someone gonna write about her...

you know...

>Rape

>>29056097
RGRE are getting Shitpost and now this.

>>29058032
>Pussy
>M-my fetish
Shit, Fap time.

>>29060825
You have some vanilla fetishes man

>>29060711
If this is your way of thinking, then is that why you have started going to other generals out there - generals that have no problems with stallions and do not have that "mares only" rule you have here - and shitpost the second someone brings up gay stuff?

https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28972199/#29002461

Some guy making one little joke, that's all it takes for you to get triggered and throw out insults and cry in a general that isn't even your general. What the fuck?

>>29061709
Remove bat. It is unworthy of love or affection. Hopefully it is locked up for its treasonous activities.

>>29062743
Nah...she gonna get some.

>>29062229
man i'm good with whatever as long as the story doesnt turn into gay shit. write a bro guard if you want, who cares, that's fine.

what's not fine is faggot guard/anon sucking eachother off, that shit's no bueno

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>>29062769
I'd give it to bat.

Hard.

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>>29063545
>Hard
nah b
im all up for gentle lovin

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>>29063902
Bat mares must be roughly dominated before they can be gently loved.

It is a requirement.

>>29063971
>>29063902
Why not slow snuggaling that escalates to her roughest fuck of her life. Ruin her for other stallions.

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>>29063982
I wish I had a sweatingbat.jpg

>>29063902
I'm going to need some sauce on this one.

>>29064031
we never got any
that's the whole pic

>>29057599
>You're pulled into another hug by dream Anon, where he gently rubs your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.
>"-It's okay, you're alright, Vannie. It's okay..."
>...You wish that was true.
>That even waking up, you'll still be right beside him.
>The first thing you'll see being his soft smile.
>Content mirroring from his face onto yours.
>His warmth bringing you closer to him during a cold winter morning.
>His hands over your coat in a soothing fashion.
>His fingers combing your mane delicately.
>Until he finally breaks the morning silence, with only three words.
>Three words nopony else has ever bothered to tell you.
>'I lo-...
>You slowly feel your mind crumble beneath its own thoughts.
>Everything just gives up at once.
>You sag a bit, your body not feeling able to hold itself up anymore.
>...You don't know what you'd do if you lost Anon.
>You don't know where you'd go.
>In such a short time, he's easily become the most important part of your life.
>He's the only one you've felt safe crying in front of.
>The first to actually have FEELINGS for you.
>...The first you've cuddled.
>And the first who actually cared about you, instead of just, seeing you as this object, ready to be used then thrown, whenever and wherever...
>Another shiver crawls down your back while you sob.
>And though Anon's the only one who's seen you like this, you're glad it's not actually him.
>You're supposed to make HIM feel safe, not the other way around.
>But look how well you did that.
>Another shiver makes its way past.
>"Vannie please, tell me what's wrong. I've never seen you this upset before..."
>With what little control you have, you look up at him.
>You've left tears all over his shirt, and you know your face isn't faring any better.
"I-I don't w-want to lose you, A-Anon."
>A small, gentle smile crosses his face.
>"Oh, Vannie."
>He pulls you even closer, hugging you tightly, but not too tight.
>"I promise, you won't have to worry about that for a looong time."

>>29064754
godamnit maaaan why you gotta do this to me?

>>29064754
>You want to believe him.
>You really do.
>But how can you?
>Everything just continues to crumble.
>You cry to the point of having trouble breathing, like a foal.
>Even under these covers, you can't help but shiver.
>Every quick, harsh breath you take rocks your whole body.
>Your eyes are blinded by tears.
>The dull pain in your heart shows no signs of stopping.
>-In a dream, you'd figure you couldn't feel anything bad.
>But all you feel IS bad.
>There's too many thoughts swimming around your mind.
>Too many possibilities.
>And much too many 'what if's.
>It's all just too much.
>Anon even stopped whispering.
>You just feel too much despair inside of you.
>Much more than you thought you would feel.
>Like everything you'd been bottling up for so long, has just cracked open from the pressure.
>You can't swallow the lump in your throat.
>You can't control your own breathing.
>Like you're not even in control anymore.
>-And it's all your fault.
>If you had just kept your mouth shut, you wouldn't be missing Anon.
>He wouldn't have been driven away.
>He wouldn't have been taken away from you.
>It's all your fault- every bit of it.
>You failed him.
>You failed Luna and Celestia, both of whom thought you were capable to guard him.
>...Everypony was right.
>You don't deserve love.
>You never have.
>It's just another thing that you can't help but destroy.
>Memories of your fillyhood come to mind.
>But none of the good ones.
>You only remember the times you were mocked.
>All the teasing, the threats...
>The rejection...
>...You deserve all of it.

>>29065165
WAKE UP AND BE SNUGGLED BATMARE, YOU WONT BE SAD THIS DAY!

>>29065165
Thats right bat. You deserve sadness, not love. You are pathetic. You need to be put in the dungeon for your theft, where all you have is broken dreams. Filthy rodent-pony.

>>29065165
>Another memory makes its way through to your head.
>Truly, like every single heartache, every tear you've held back since being born is suddenly making itself known again.
>Every wound you thought was healed coming back to you.
>Every day, every night you've spent alone.
>Every insult, every comment you've heard.
>Every passing thought, every bit of utter hopelessness you've felt in the past.
>The pain is too much to bear.
>You feel as if your whole body is numb, yet undergoing constant torment.
>Every shift, every movement you make is nothing but agony.
>Your eyes sting from the tears, and the pain in your chest just feels worse.
>The only thought you can focus on, the only thing standing out amongst it all, is simply the amount of suffering you're in.
>Both physically and mentally.
>You push yourself away from Anon and crawl across the bed.
>He can't see you like this.
>Dream or not, nopony should ever see you like this.
>You feel like your whole body has just locked up on itself, leaving you unable to move.
>Your breathing is half whimper, half sucking in air.
>It's pathetic.
>Simply staring at the wall, thinking that you're alone makes you feel only slightly better.
>And still, you stain the sheets beneath you with tears, hoping that soon enough, this will end.
>That somehow at the end of the tunnel, you will simply feel happy for having broken down.
>You can barely feel Anon's attempts to calm you.
>His voice is practically white noise.
>Nothing really makes itself known besides your own uncontrollable shaking.
>You can't even contain your sobs.
>Can't stop or stifle them in the slightest.
>And on top of that, you can't stop whimpering.
>It sounds utterly pitiful, which just makes you feel worse, making you whimper again.
>Like some sort of vicious cycle you wish you could find the end to.
>Everything just seems so terrible to you.
>Like you never have, and never will experience happiness.
>But really...
>...You don't deserve it anyways...

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>>29064754
>"I-I don't w-want to lose you, A-Anon."
Damn, sounds like you should have, I dunno, guarded him or something. Or hired a professional to do so. Oh right, you two were the professionals

>>29065362
GUARDMARE BRAVE, SNUGGLE YOUR HERD MATE!

>>29065387
ayy
brutal nigga

>>29065362

>Depression simulator 2016

Please no. Can we go back to happy bate and comfy?

>>29065362
Thats right bat, you deserve nothing. Now disappear and leave Anon to the superior earth pony.

>>29065362
BUT WHATS ANON AND HIS GRIFFONESS SLAVE UP TO

>>29058944
"Huh?"
>Is she serious?
>She's not jealous, surely.
>You roll over and look at her.
>She leans in and presses her nose to yours.
>"Whaddaya think?"
"Well..."
>It's only Careful, Anon.
>The truth will set you free.
"Yeah, she's pretty adorable."
>She leans back and sighs with relief.
>"Oh, good. It's not just me."

"I... what?"
>"Ponies aren't TOTALLY immune to each other's adorableness. Otherwise we would have wiped each other out when the races still didn't get along. But you can still forget, then wham! Reality hits you hard!"
>She resumes a prone position beside you.
>"That sweater, Anon! It looks so cozy. Cozier than anything. So cozy, when we were in the same room, I felt... vicariously cozy."
"You just have a crush on her 'cause she gave you cookies."
>Somehow, even in the dark, you can see Careful's face redden.
>She averts her eyes.
>"N-no!"
"Oh, come on. You don't have just a little thing for librarians? It's cute. I get it. What, with the-"
>"W-whether or not we were getting the cookies while you looked for your book, and she took her glasses off for a second to clean them, and I looked at her with them off and sort of idly thought about what kissing her would be -- er, whatever -- is completely irrelevant! If you'll just, uh, let me... let me get to... the point..."
>You broke the Careful, Anon.
>Welp.
>Time to empty the last ten seconds outta the ol' short term memory and backpedal like hell.
"... I was just joking, Careful."
>She manages to re-establish eye contact with you.
>"R-right. I knew."

>>29065501
"So. What's the point we're getting to?"
>"I think she's kind of lonely, Anon."
>She flicks her ear.
>"Guard senses. You know. And it's a shame, 'cause she's so nice, and... yeah."
"I sort of picked up on that, but she's kind of private, right? I figure... you know, if she got comfortable, she can always hang out with us, if she asks."
>"She might, yeah. But you gotta be on the lookout for stuff she doesn't say, too! And, since you're gonna be working with her..."
"Yeah?"
>Careful looks at you quite seriously.
>"You gotta give Moondancer snuggles, Anon!"

>Well, you hadn't expected that.
>Your turn to be embarrassed now.
"I, well. You know, I'm a one-mare kind of dude, Careful, and, uh... if you really want-"
>Careful shakes her head.
>"No, no, no! Snuggles are for friends too, Anon. They're great, and they make loneliness go away, and you -- you're an OPTIMAL snuggler. Like, your body's made to snuggle. With your strong arms, you know, and, like, you've got that fuzz on all the relevant points of contact, and-"
"Come on. I'd keep my shirt on."
>"... right, yeah, forget that last thing. What I'm saying is I think Moondancer would like it, and, you know, she should know we like her, and we're there for her and stuff. Right?"
>You wonder for a moment about the potential pros and cons of snuggling a sweater horse.
>Hm.
>Yes.
>There are lots of pros
>... and no cons.
>It would seem to be a wise course of action.

"I'll keep an eye on her at work. We'll see what happens."
>"Great!"
"Wanna sleep now?"
>"Yep!"
>She flops over and seems to immediately fall pass out, except for a few, quiet utterances:
>"Anon and Careful! Makin' friends! Being social! Aw... *YAWN*... aww yeah..."
>She starts snoring.
>You close your eyes and idly run your fingers through her mane as you drift off.

>>29065501
>careful has a thing for librarians
>careful is trying to get him into the librarian so they can all get together
its happening

>>29065501
I am perfectly fine with our cute guardmare being a cookie slut for a hot librarian. Whom also has a thing for Anon.

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This is a page 8 bump specifically designed to remind all of you that this little vixen just wants to snuggle with you all night and make you a tall stack of warm, moist and tasty pancakes in the morning.

>>29066300
Yes.
I want it.
I want her.

She's mine.

>>29065513
man that pony is cute.

Terns out careful likes to watch.
>anon is cuddling moonie in careful's bed.
>looks over moon dancers shoulder, and sees earful's eye's peaking up over the edge of the bed.
>Her face is red, she's panting, and sweat is beginning to bead on her forehead.
>"now kiss"
"Careful. Stop. Don't make this weird.
>her brow furls.
>"then kiss me"
>anon looks down at moon dancer, and she appears fast asleep.
"well, come on then"

Suppose I had a decently sized chunk of greenery. Would you prefer me to post it all at once In some time or portioin it a bit?

>>29066603
Do what makes you happy. looking forward to it tomorrow. bed time.


gnight

>>29066300
Dubs confirm best Canadian pone, and good pancakes.

>>29066603
the devil dubs and trips have spoken>>29066644

>>29065513
Why must her mannerisms be so cute???

>>29063046
Then people might as well cry that everything lesbian can fuck off to this thread
>>28973980
So why don't you?

>>29067898
Because they aren't in here you stupid bastard. Unlike you shits, we don't go and shitpost other threads. Another point is, pussy is better than dick, and amazing when you can fuck a mare with a dick. Don't be jealous of them for having content without having to shitpost other threads. You faggots are worthless to being with.

>>29067898
>>29067912
I just realized how this sounds when I wrote it out.
> amazing when you can fuck a mare with a dick
I admit, poor phrasing on my part. I meant that straight sex is better than gay or lesbian. Not shitty futa trash.

>>29067912
>we don't go and shitpost other threads.
Are you genuinely autistic or something? Just because YOU have an unbelievably serious problem with something, does NOT mean that it is shitposting if people talk about that thing in other threads where it is okay.

>>29067936
Different anon, but then take your faggot shit and go to a thread where it's not shitposting, you've given yourself the best fucking advice.

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>>29065513
>>"Anon and Careful! Makin' friends! Being social! Aw... *YAWN*... aww yeah..."
>>She starts snoring.
Absolutely adorable.

>>29067936
When you insist that people who have no interest in reading stories about sucking dicks must read stories about sucking dicks, that's shitposting.

>>29069711
I want to cuddle them both

>>29069719
i want to cuddle them while they cuddle each other

>>29069842
I want to be in the center of their cuddle sandwich.

>>29069711
>>29069719
>>29069842
I want to do this>>29069851
But pants less.

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>>29069858
And them armorless and pantyless?

>>29069886
and facing eachother?

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>>29066300
>Snuggle all night long with your hand around her swollen, heavy belly
>Make a tall stack of warm, moist, and tasty pancakes for you and her rape foal.

>>29069886
>>29069899
I kinda want them to keep their panties on, just so I can take them off myself.

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>>29069908
nah senpai
its all consensual baby

>>29069908
kill yourself
>>29069915
this. We be the comfy guard daddy.

>>29069915
>>29069922
You think she'd keep up her duties as a guard in the castle until she can't fit her armor anymore?

>>29069941
Probably, then Anon has a talk with sunbutt then carries her home bridal carry.

>>29069915
>>29069922
>Forgetting that Cinnamon lives in robberAnon's basement now
She a breeder now, boys.

>>29069952
a consensual breeder

>>29069952
Your mixing up rape and roleplay you dunce

>>29067842
That's a big butt

>>29069908
delet this

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>>29070037
4u

>>29070046
>thicc

>>29070046
>>29070079
AND JUICY!

>>29065362

my anon in the secret santa just posted pics of the daki i sent him

>You continue to stare blankly at the wall while you break.
>That is, until you find yourself NOT looking at the wall.
>Through the tears, you finally focus on Anon's figure in front of you.
>He holds your chin up, then wipes your nose with something.
>Once he's done, you see him move up to you and-
"-Mmph!"
>You feel everything in your body freeze at once.
>Your breathing halts.
>Your thoughts all stop.
>And you feel your cheeks flush.
>Then you realize what's going on.
>You're being kissed.
>Anon is kissing you.
>The second you realize this, it stops just after.
>You can feel your ear flick, and the tips of said ears burning.
>Your mouth is stuck open in shock.
>Every bad thought you finished having just melts away.
>And all that's left is more shock.
"I... I-"
>Before you can speak, he swoops in for another kiss.
>It catches you off guard just as much as the first time, but you quickly recover, and return it to the best of your ability.
>It just feels so wonderful...
>Like everything you've been feeling has just reversed itself.
>The dull pain becomes this light feeling in your chest.
>Your thoughts now stick to how amazing this feels.
>Everything breaks the webs off and moves at once.
>Your heart starts thumping like you've never felt it before.
>And as quickly as it started, it stops again.
>In your state of complete shock, you find yourself gently falling on your back.
>It takes a second to realize you fell, and in that second, Anon looked over for a moment.
>And even though this isn't the real Anon, you were quick to hide yourself with your tail and pull the sheets over you.
>Your cheeks burn much more than you'd like them to.

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>>29070157
OH MY

>>29070157
Unf...the wait was worth it. Now it just needs to really happen.

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>>29069908
PLEASE FINISH THIS.

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>>29070392
>finish
too late mate, all the drawfags are already gone
a-all of them

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>>29070157
moar now!!!!

>>29070157
Who the hell would kiss a flying rodent? Disgusting. Get rid of the bat. Wake it up and make it realize how powerless and worthless it is.

>>29069914
>You will never pull of your marefriend's lace panties using only your teeth.

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>>29070427

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>>29070578
>not smooching the bat

>>29070601
unf

>>29070427
Nuuu this must be finished. My dick needs it!

>>29070621
Disgusting. Dispose of it.

>>29070621
Not with those teeth, fuck no.

>>29071612
Nah, fuck that pic and your dick.

>>29070427
She looks like she's got a lot of plush. There's nothing I wouldn't give to just press my finger against her thigh and see how far it sinks.

>>29072138
Hug the pones, dry those tears, praise that booty.

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>>29072138
That pic just made me realize how hard it would be for her to wipe her own tears away without poking her eyes out.
...
...
Blind pony guard green prompt?

>Lost her eyesight a while ago in the line of duty.
>She trained herself extensively so she could be kind of like daredevil.
>Always kept her eyes covered so no one has ever trusted her abilities to protect them since the accident.
>Then this weird looking green monkey that nobody else liked to even look at showed up.
>She was only kept on as a guard as kinda a charity case.
>Anon discovers her extreme talents and that her always hidden eyes are actually very pretty.
>Convinces her to stop hiding them.

>>29068826
Go to a thread where rules like these don't exist? Well, that's just not possible now that the good ol' Captain of yours has apparently decided to go on an autistic crusade all over /mlp/ and scream at everyone who brings up gay ponies even if it's just a tiny joke.

>>29073076
>Budget cutbacks in the guards for reasons.

>She's lowest on the totem pole and is nearly relived of duty.
>Anon convinces her to spar with her asshole superior.

>win or loose her renown grows.
>After an actual battle. She becomes know as "the mare without fear"
>little fillies look up to her. and she becomes somewhat of a celebrity.

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Aight, so this does not contain guard mares (or any guards) yet, but it will soon enough. I wanted to write an introduction to the setting, and got a bit carried away. But don't worry, she will be there.

>Grass grows.
>Birds fly.
>Sun shines.
>And brother...
>You hurt people.
>That's hurt in a past tense though, and for a good reason.
>There are no people around you anymore.
>Whoa, okay. That sounds weird out of context.
>Let's start from the basics then.
>You are Anonymous, and you are currently living in a tiny pastel horses' land.
>Also known as Equestria.
>As it happens, there are no other humans in this place.
>How did you come to be here then?
>You have no idea.
>But your best bet is that you have died.
>That's where the hurting part comes into play.
>You were a soldier.
>Not out of deep sense of duty, or an urge to shoot people or anything.
>It was just the most reasonable line of career for you when you graduated.
>It had its risks, sure.
>But you would rather take a risk of getting shot than living your life in a dull, repetitive job.
>That's just how you were.
>You would sometimes skip school just to hike in your local woods, simply because you were tired of the monotony.
>Which in hindsight did not help widen your job options.
>But hey, you had no real regrets.
>For the most part.
>Your basic training went well.
>You weren't the fastest or the strongest or anything.
>But you knew your way around the land, and were perfectly fine with long, forced walks.
>Also by some weird star alignment you were a pretty good shot.
>That one caught you by surprise to be honest.
>You mostly only used guns when you were visiting your uncle.
>He was a cool guy, and he loved hunting.
>He would also take you for a trip every time your family came around.
>You were mostly taking in the new environment there, but the occasional feel of a well placed shot was nice you suppose.
>And yet turns out that you had some sort of natural talent or something.

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Also trying a different narration this time, a bit like a retrospection one. Might get a bit wonky with time switches, let me know if I do that

>>29073417
>That's what sarge said anyway when he gave you the marksman rifle.
>It wasn't that different from what they had you firing before, just a different sight a bit more kick.
>The longer ranges didn't really bother you that much either.
>It was weird at first, but you got used to it and managed a pretty good accuracy.
>You even got a pat on a back from the old man.
>It was like your dad complementing you on the shitty bird feeder you made in third grade.
>A happy little moment.
>Nevertheless, the training went on.
>You scored decently on all the physical tests, miles spent on hiking paying off.
>You even inevitably made some friends with the guys there, since you figured you would end up spending a lot of time with them in the end.
>That was until the very end of your basic.
>You have just finished a three-day long test in a real environment.
>You were supposed to work as a team and fulfill some random objectives, the usual stuff.
>The trainees were given a day off in preparation for the final ceremonies.
>You were pretty content to just sit on your ass for the most part, since holy hell was sitting in a short supply for the previous couple weeks.
>That was when the captain overseeing the site has found you.
>Apparently you did well enough in the training that he recommended a sniper school for you.
>It was an application per volunteer basis he explained, but you were meeting all the entry level requirements.
>Physical fitness, marksmanship and some of the pathfinder courses you took out of interest.
>It would mean that you would have to work almost alone though, only with a paired spotter, sometimes maybe cooperating with other such pairs.
>You were genuinely interested though, so you truthfully answered that you will consider it, and got a short ballot explaining the basics.
>Like an advertisement really.

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>>29073422
>After mulling over the idea in your head for an afternoon you decided to go with it.
>You said your goodbyes to the folks at the camp after the final ceremony and went on to the new training place.
>It was quite the mix in there, because next to the completely green rookies like yourself there were some people with a few years of service under their belt.
>Nevertheless, the meatgrinder did not differentiate and all were judged equally by it.
>Just how fit you were and how strong your mind was.
>Oh, and how quickly you learned too.
>You found it ironic at time that after graduating the school you loathed so much you ended up sitting in a class with a notepad anyway.
>Only this time it was all stuff you actually cared about, not logarithms, ancient literature or body parts of plants.
>No, instead you learned how to properly find your way around the landscape with just a map and a compass.
>How to find the fastest way across a ravine.
>How to walk through the forest and not get lost.
>How to use your surroundings to your advantage.
>You thought you already knew a lot of those things, but boy were you wrong.
>The amount of intricate nuance that you've never expected there to be to hiking inawoods was overwhelming at first.
>But you welcomed it.
>It was learning how to be better at what you loved, how could you not?
>And even the new stuff was interesting as well.
>Concealing yourself using what's found in the wild.
>Moving unseen through said wild.
>Observing your surroundings and remembering the details like wind or humidity.
>The rangefinding.
>Sweet lord the rangefinding.
>How to accurately measure or estimate the distance to what you're looking at, with or without various equipment.
>Accommodating for the wind at different ranges.
>Calculating the elevation coefficient when firing up or downhill.
>By the time you got to shoot your weapon your head was filled with all the details you tried so hard not to forget about.

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>>29073428
>And so you obviously failed.
>Your accuracy was pretty much a laughing stock at the start.
>Even after weeks of fire range practice you only got better.
>Not good, just better.
>You were far from the best marksman anymore, you were barely not trailing behind.
>But you didn't mind.
>Sniper cells, as the instructors said, were operating in pairs - sniper and the spotter.
>Sure, they would switch roles when need be, but not everyone graduating had to be a newborn Vasili Zaycev.
>You were good enough to be trusted with a rifle powerful enough to punch through an engine block, and that was an achievement as is.
>The fact that you would get to focus on things that lied closer to your interests was nothing to cry about.
>And so the training soon was over.
>You officially became a sniper of a Canadian Armed Forces serving under Her Majesty herself.
>And like, a hundred officers between you two.
>But hey, the thought was nice.
>What was less nice was your first deployment.
>It was fucking Afghanistan, of course it was.
>Desert, bleh.
>You didn't like desert.
>Still, it was long past the point of what you did and didn't like, so you adapted.
>Moving quickly and silently through rocks and sand was a challenge, but a one you welcomed.
>And somehow you managed to not get yourself and your buddy Mark killed.
>He was the one doing the actual shooting for the most part, but you took over a couple times.
>It even turned out that you were doing better job being a marksman in the field than in the school.
>Less things on your head probably.
>Emptying your mind and all that.
>But for the most part neither of you engaged.
>You were more like scouts, paving the way for the soldiers behind you and marking the targets for the mortar teams.
>So it's not like you had clean hands, you were aware of that.
>People died because of you.
>People died because you told the gunners where to lay their fire.
>But you accepted that.

>>29073428
Judging by how everything sounds like right now, I'm going to guess that you are Anon in this story.

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>>29073434
>It's not like you didn't care.
>You weren't a psychopath or anything.
>It's just that after the first IFV got blown up by an enemy grenade launcher, something clicked.
>Someone will die here, either you, your friends, or "them".
>It was easier to think of them as "them".
>"The enemy", faceless foe.
>It helped you sleep at night.
>And with that state of mind you soldiered on.
>Observing while unseen, searching the enemy, even disarming explosives three times.
>First two were simple.
>You shot them from afar.
>Because your C15 was more than capable of taking out hardened targets, you were able to detonate the traps with little risk.
>The third one was not so jolly though.
>Because you disarmed it from much closer.
>And by "disarmed" you actually mean triggered.
>And by "you", you actually mean the Bison you were in at the time.
>Yep, an IED by the road, undetected by the friendly forces who were in the area.
>Must have been freshly placed.
>You never got to find out though.
>The explosion happened on the side of the vehicle you were sitting in.
>You didn't really have a chance, even through the armored underbelly and sides of it.
>You don't remember feeling pain, or shock.
>It was just a sudden burst of adrenaline as your body was squeezed and pressured to unnatural limits.
>You only remember two things after that.
>You squeezing your Tac-50 so that it doesn't get lost.
>And your teammate Mark over you.

Fuck character limits

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>>29073435
Would it be bad if I were?
Would it be bad if I weren't?

>>29073448
>You must have been on the road, because there was a smoking vehicle in the corner of your eye, along with some of your friendly soldiers frantically running around.
>You didn't hear his words - your eardrums were one of the first casualties there.
>And you never were a lip reader.
>So you have no idea what he said to you.
>You just remember that look on his face.
>More scared than you ever saw him.
>Even more so than when the hostile patrol basically walked over you.
>His eyes running wide, and his mouth never really closed, sputtering unknown words.
>His hands holding your head.
>And at the dying moment you had but one though.
>You were glad your roles weren't reversed.
>At least you died young and pretty.
>...
>At least you died young.

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>>29073453
>You never really thought about afterlife much.
>Figured you'd find out in time.
>But a few musings you may have had about it did not involve magical land of talking pastel tiny horses.
>So boy were you in for a shock when you opened your eyes to see not one but two of them staring down at you.
>One was white, the other blue.
>And they were horny.
>As in, they had horns.
>Not "they had lewd intentions towards you", at least you don't think so.
>So you kinda just woke up after being blown up by a roadside explosive in Afghanistan.
>And you saw two unicorns with flowing jelly for their manes with concerned look on their faces.
>Shit's weird.
>You sat up, still awkwardly holding on to your rifle which was by then taller than you thanks to the sitting position.
>And you started to look around like you were a kid in Disneyland.
>You were taught to take in your surroundings and assess them on a whim, so that's what you did.
>What you were not taught, is what to make of being in a large room of what looks to be a medieval castle with a shattered chair laying next to you.
>That's when the blue one spoke up.
>"Are you alright? Are you wounded?"
>And so it came to be that you had an honor to produce the first ever words to be spoken by man in Equestria.
"Horses shouldn't talk."
>Yep.
>A lasting impression to be written down in the history books no doubt.
>You even stated it plainly, like it was the most obvious thing under the sun for you.
>Which back then, it kinda was.
>But bluehorse did not like it.
>She puffed her quickly reddening cheeks and splayed her wings out, exclaiming loudly
>"Excuse us?"
>Another acquired skill you had was to quickly judge a new situation.
>And so you did, rapidly realizing what's happening.
>You fucked up.

>>29073453
>Would it be bad if I were?
>Self-inserting
Yes.

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>>29073463
>But before you got to come up with a way to fix it, a salvation came.
>It came in a form of a soft and warm laughter, a laughter that could cure wounds.
>"Come now dear sister, the poor creature must be at least as confused as we are. Do not hold it against him."
>You furrowed your brow at the "creature", but saw that whitehorse words had managed to calm down the angry one.
>She closed her wings and ruffled them a bit, before stating again
>"We are not amused by being called "a horse". And we will exercise all our freedom to speak."
>To which you replied in equally diplomatic manner.
"Ok."
>You never were a charmer with your words.
>Not really a part of your job description, and it was not a natural thing for you.
>But the pastel horses did not mind in the end.
>You introduced yourself, and expressed your confusion about this supposed afterlife.
>In turn you learned their names, Luna and Celestia, but also found out that this isn't supposed to be an afterlife.
>They expressed their condolences on your demise, but also noted that for a dead person you seemed quite alive.
>Yeah, that conversation was all kind of awkward.
>But what do you expect when a dead man falls into the table in one the horse princesses' dining quarters, covered in desert dust and with a sniper rifle in his hands?
>Especially when said dead man started talking.
>Honestly in the retrospect, you three handled it quite well.
>You asked about who they were, and found out that you crash landed in front of the rulers of the world.
>You quickly found out that they were also immortal.
>Thankfully before you started doubting your sanity further they asked about you in turn.
>Things went a bit sketchy there.
>You decided to play it straight and told them the truth.
>You were Anonymous, a somewhat young male human, much closer to monkeys than horses.
>And as for your living, well.
>You were a soldier.

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>>29073482
Well you'll be glad to hear (I think) that my crippling autism prevents me from serving in military. So no self inserts here.
I just tried to get in character

>>29073484
>When you found out that they don't know such word, you started using related things.
>You found a common ground at “warrior”.
>And so the royal sisters quickly found out that you were “a warrior” that was “slain in a war”.
>A wild oversimplification, but it got the idea across.
>You somewhat expected at that point to be escorted away, or at least for them to call their guards.
>Surely an alien killer ape appearing in your house is a reason to worry.
>But no, instead they expressed their regrets.
>Regrets that you had to live in such a dark and violent world, where young men had to die to protect their families.
>You decided to not start arguing that you were not technically defending your family, since that was getting dangerously into politics territory.
>So instead you clarified that not everyone has do that, not in your country at least.
>But you only managed to sour up their mood further, since they now found out that there were countries that forced nearly every young child to fight in a war they often didn't care for.
>As you said, you weren't a diplomat.
>Celestia then went to assure you that you shall find no such conflicts in Equestria.
>Ponies were free to live out their lives in peace and whatever prosperity they shall earn in their lives.
>You decided to question that.
>Surely, there must be some kind of outside threat that would endanger the equilibrium?
>But they were adamant about their position.
>Yes, wild magic does threaten the harmony sometimes.
>But the same magic can always repel that danger.
>And you would believe that too.
>If they didn't start talking about the power of friendship.
>You then simply decided that you either are in some magical fairy land for real, you didn't have enough sleep, or someone was lying to you.

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>>29073515
>You tried your best to politely express that perhaps this isn't the best time and place to talk about it.
>All of you had a lot of questions here, but you were bloody tired.
>Apparently dying does that to you.
>That and being awake for about 36 hours beforehand.
>They in turn offered their hospitality.
>You could stay in the castle for as long as you saw fit, as long as you agreed to follow some basic rules.
>And promised to tell them more about Earth in the future.
>You agreed to both, since it had promise of a real bed and maybe even a shower.
>Neither of which you could pass up.
>They even were so kind as to offer taking your belongings with their magic, and escort you to a guest room.
>Which apparently was always ready for “unexpected occurrences” such as yourself.
>Apparently this land was no stranger to weird things going on.
>Made your life easier really.
>And as for belongings, well.
>You were in the field, so you didn't have everything on you.
>Just the smaller backpack with the necessary equipment.
>And your rifle of course.
>You agreed to hand away the former, but your weapon was a bit trickier.
>You were both resigning your means of protections and giving an immensely powerful tool to a creature that could either harm you, or mishandle it.
>Your concern did not go unnoticed, and Luna decided to reassure you.
>”We mean no harm to you Anonymous. But we do understand if you choose to not trust our word on that yet. We still remember what it was in the times of strife all too well.”
>You couldn't help but to notice how genuine her words and face was at that moment.
>So you decided to take a risk.
>You detached the magazine and slipped it into your pouch, taking a mental note that it was a third one you had on you now.
>15 shots.

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>>29073526
>As you let go of your rifle that was being enveloped in a dark blue mist you explained that without “that box”, it was as harmless as a metal pipe.
>Though you made sure to express how delicate it was at the same time.
>You weren't sure how easy it would be to replace a telescopic sight in Equestria.
>The night princess expressed her gratitude in the trust you put in them by giving away your weapon and assured you that you will not regret it.
>The siblings then beckoned you to follow them as they took of in the direction of a supposed room.
>Meanwhile you were busy feeling uneasy about the fact that you never admitted to your P35 sitting by your hip.
>You were not sure if you would have a need for it.
>You wished you wouldn't.
>But your wishes weren't important for about 8 months by then.
>So you decided to play it safe.

That's it for the introduction. I want this to be a short story, but I kind of wanted to include things that will be important later. And it sort of spiralled out.
Also just to reassure you, this story will not contain edge. Not one bit.
Pic unrelated

>>29073539
Was an lot in one go. I'm liking it.

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>>29073640
I asked about it yesterday. I usually post smaller updates, bit by bit. Just wanted to try this approach

>>29073407
>>29073076
I would a Daredevil guardmare.

>>29073417
>Grass grows.
>Birds fly.
>Sun shines.
>And brother...
>You hurt people
Is that you tf2 Scout?

>>29073453
Its good, I want more.

>>29073736
It was pretty good, I could get use to this amount of an update.

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>>29073957

>>29073539
>>Meanwhile you were busy feeling uneasy about the fact that you never admitted to your P35 sitting by your hip.
Oh thank goodness, I thought a soldier in a foreign land just gave away his only means to defend himself to complete strangers for a moment there.

>>29073484
>implying self-inserting isn't normal

Do you know where you are?

Anyways, I like what you wrote, Anon. You made Anon realistic without making him edgy.

>>29075484
I meant >>29073482, not you writefriend.

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>>29074048
I feel it has some potential.
>Anon is sitting with her at his table.
>Excuses himself and walks outside his room and down the hall closing the door behind him.
>A few minutes later returns and sits back down.
>She can tell he left to pass gas so it wouldn't offend her sensitive nose.
>Thinks he's the sweetest guy in the world and can't understand why nobody likes him.

>>29075461
From what I read about Tac 50 it is strongly discouraged to fire it in positions other than prone and using the bipod. So not the best weapon for CQC in any case.

>>29075587
Yeah, but I thought it was his only weapon. Better that than nothing.

>>29070157

sorry for the late-ness, i fell asleep with my awesome new daki
i dont know how ill explain this to family, and im having more visiting

this is gonna suck

>You notice the small tinge of red on Anon's own cheeks, and he lies down beside you.
>He slips an arm around under you and gently pets your overly-fluffy chest.
>Even in your family, you always seemed to be the fluffiest.
>"-For the record, I'd never try something like that unless I knew you were comfortable with it."
>It takes you a second to understand what he means, then you get it fully.
>Even in a dream, still as gentlemarely as he is outside of it...
>His other arm makes its way around you, and you find yourself nice and snug as his little spoon.
>It still feels as good as the first time you did it.
>He's so warm, and soft...
>Though, you start to think of what just finished happening.
>...You never really thought about... you know.
>Not to mention that you don't have any, uh, past experiences, regarding it.
>If you never found anypony you could cuddle before him, you never found anypony to... y-yeah.
>Never found anypony trustworthy enough to cuddle until now.
>And THAT...
>...You don't know.
>That's all reserved for your true love.
>The pony that you will always feel comfortable with, no matter what.
>The one that makes the whole world brighter just being there, you know?
>The one pony you wouldn't mind giving your own life for, and knowing without a doubt in your mind that they feel the same.
>...So yeah, you're still kind of on the fence about that.
>Especially with Brave.
>Not that you dislike her or anything- far from that.
>But you just need some time to think about that more...
>"-I love you, Vannie."
>You tense up as those words reach your ears.
>Did... did you just hear that?
>You're pulled in a bit closer while his words register in your mind, over and over again.
>He definitely said that.
>O-okay, it's just a dream, you don't need to worry so much-
"-Y-you too."

>>29075976
Have fun with that Blu.

>>29075976
Have him stroke her lower tummy fluff so she gets all blushy and has butterflies build up in her stomach
maybe have her slowly lift her tail out of the way after a long heated kiss like the little adorable fluff ball she is

>>29075976
The only way anon should display or confess to loving the bat should be in a dream. It has to wake up and face reality sometime, where it isn't loved.

>>29076437
Your right, that comes later when Anon comes home. Right now she has Brave to help tide her over.

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>>29076443
>story of warrior anon coming home to guardpone in distress when

>>29076576
Whenever Blu has Anon get out of the desert with the griffon chick. Or reverses that order and has Brave, Vannie, and Minuet fall on his head.

>>29075976
>"-Y-you too."
kek

>>29075976
nb4 she wet dreems right there on the bathroom floor.

>>29076921
>cums all over herself

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>>29076933
Naa. she subconsciously lifted her tail, and just gave a hearty splosh against the wall behind her.
Brave, confused at what transpired makes a comment about her wetting the bed.
Luna shows and quickly changes the subject.

>Vannie has sprained her muzzle scrunching too hard.

>>29077117
more like sprained her clitoris winking that hard

>>29077117
>>29077122
Why not both?

>>29076443
Anon gets rescued by Brave and loves real pony. The bat returns to obscurity for its failure.

>>29077154
Kek, implying the so called flying rat wont stop the bird from running. Brave cant fly with hips that juicy. Vannie's hips are made of squishy plush.

>>29077163
The bat will hopefully be disposed of by the powerful griffin. It is pathetic after all.

>>29077205
Nah, that bat is gonna be a mama for Anon kids, right next to Brave. Maybe Minuet too. Don't know about the griffon though.

>>29077213
Niiiice

>Everyone is going on about bat again
Is there any general the batfags won't shove their autistic batcrap into?

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>>29077262
BAT

>>29077262
>>29077276
I missed this. Its a good feeling.

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>>29077262
Every day until you like bats, faggot.

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>>29077262
HHH

>>29077664
good joke, but don't say that name again. you might summon them.

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>Vannie + human = bat filly.

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>>29079297
>tfw no domestic bat waifu
>tfw can never give waifu foals

>>29075976

just for our batfriend

>-Oh Luna, you just sounded so stupid saying that.
>He calmly laughs and resumes his petting.
>And meanwhile, your cheeks burn brightly.
>All while you feel a smile forming on your face.
>Anon moves himself a bit, finally wrapping his other arm around you.
>It gently pets your belly, which sends a few nice-feeling shivers up your back.
>You swear, Anon's a miracle worker or something...
>You don't feel sad at all anymore.
>...Well, not to the extent you were, earlier.
>But it's hard to feel any worse when being petted like you are, snug and warm against him.
>You unintentionally make this noise in your state of comfiness, which sounds a lot like you're purring.
>Though since you've got yourself licking your fluff in order to clean it multiple times, you kind of wonder if it is.
>Who knows?
>Out of nowhere, your hind leg kicks slightly.
>You guess Anon noticed, because he starts to pet in certain areas, almost if looking around.
>Then he lightly scratches one part, and you kick again.
>-You didn't do that!
>Trying your hardest, an attempt to stop the kicking is made.
>But it doesn't work.
>It's just like when you used to have check-ups as a foal.
>The doctor always had those spots to check your reflexes, or whatever it was for.
>It always annoyed you that you couldn't fight against it.
>It'd happen, no matter how well you thought you kept your hooves in place.
>Now, you can't stop these tiny kicks, and from what you can hear, Anon is nothing but amused.
>"Bit sensitive there, aren't you?"
>You kick again.
"S-stop that!"
>He snickers and adjusts himself again.
>"I'll definitely remember that spot for later."
>Your muzzle instinctively scrunches.
>Even if it IS Anon, and a dream, it's still plenty embarrassing.
>You just hope it doesn't do that waking up, too...
>Anon sighs against you and shifts again.
>"Man, what did I do to deserve the best mare-friend ever?"
"-W-what?"
>Your cheeks instinctively burn up.

>>29079559
hnnggg

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>>29077664
kek

>>29079559
Would nonsexually fuck that ultra cute bat anytime.

>>29079559
Cute bat has more catpone in her. Hnnnng

>>29079349
Who breaks the spaghetti in half...

>>29079559
Overloading on cuteness is a dangerous thing.

you get some inspiration from that shitty little green i made about pic >>29063545?

>only one lewd pic for Brave, Vannie and Careful
>drawfags who made them are dead
Dark times ahead for this thread.

>>29073453
Made me feel.

>>29079349
Get a bigger pot.
Don't break the spaghetti.

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>>29081168
>>29081449
SHES TRYING HER BEST

>>29077301
I like bats.
But pat-ponies can just fuck right the hell off.
Shove your shitty vampire fetish up your ass.

>>29081476
No vampire fetish the entire thread. Ever.
Got anything else to bitch about?

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>>29081476
That's silly.

You're silly. A cute pony is a cute pony.
Very silly.

>>29081449

Always break the spaghetti. It's a much more reasonable length for eating and you have to twirl it less.

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>>29081476
EVERY DAY