RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

Minotits

>>28967598
Porn when?

>>28967627
already, its everywhere.

>>28967637
Not that. i want porn cat-sized.

>>28967694
foal porn.

I looked through my old Rainbow Dash green and fixed it up a smidge. I wrote differently when I made this but it's pretty okay.

http://pastebin.com/2nbeUiRp

--

> Be Rainbow Dash
> And be totally NOT stalking the new resident human, Anon, from the clouds
> This… is spying
> Spying is cool
> Twilight had apparently sent Anon out to get a few things, and you’d just so happened to catch sight of him earlier.
> You had decided he needed to be monitored… for safety reasons.
> Didn’t want any mare taking advantage, Celestia forbid.
> Anyhow, the colt sure did seem like he could use a mare’s guidance; He looked completely lost at the market place.
> What Stallion didn’t know how to flirt, chat, and haggle?
> He just accepted whatever price they tried to smack him with.
> Poor guy...
> Some of the other mares picked up on this and took pity thankfully, offering him a wink and a lower price.
> You roll your eyes.
> Colt-mode, easy-mode.
> But that wasn’t Anons fault.
> Next time you’d go with him and stop those stupid mares from eyeing him up so much.

> You zip over to the next cloud, a colored streak following in your wake as you keep your eyes trained on the creature walking through town.
> You smirk to yourself
> You were only a few feet above him, but with your excellent sneaky skills he still hadn’t noticed a thi—
> “Dash, what are you doing?”
>You blink and see the human looking up at you, an eyebrow quirked.
> Quick, think of something!
> You give him your best poker face.
“Nothing!”
> …
> …

> 9/10

> He just shakes his head.
> “If you want to talk to me, just come down. I won’t bite.”
> He won’t bite? Do… Do humans bite?
> You start to feel a knot in your stomach.
> Twilight had said one time that humans were a predator species
> Faust, was he like something from the Everfree forest?
> You shake your head and scowl.
> C’mon, filly, you were Rainbow Dash!
> No colt scares you!
> You glare down at him.

>>28967694
>Be Pinkie Pie in cat-sized RGR Equestia
>Anon's not here because he's not cat-sized
>Just you ponies
>Today you're looking after the twins
>You're going to teach them the wonders of porn
>"See you tonight Pinkie." says Mr Cake.
"Bye!" says Pinkie Pie with a smile
>That's you!
>The itsy bitsy little foals wave to the parents
>You also wave
>When the parents are gone you stop waving
>As do the foals
"We're going to have fun today, I'm going to teach you things"
>"Skoo?"
"Not quite."
>You take the foals up to your room, where gummy is guarding the goods
>Gummy sees that you are you and lets you pass
>He also sees that the twins are not you and lets them pass as well
>He's a clever little guy
"Gentlefoals, behold! BUTTS!"
>At that, hundreds of porno magazines fly open all across the room
>Asses of all kinds, each sexy in their own way are revealed
>The twins look around in awe
>You are the best babysitter

>>28967780
> He chuckles and you hear him say the word ‘cute’ under his breath
> Ohnohedidn’t
> You zoom down to the ground. “L-listen, buster. I’m cool, not cu—”
> He gives you a smile as he boops your nose, and you can’t stop from letting out a squeak.
> Anon gives a grin before turning and motioning you to follow.
> D-Damn—stupid— human—colt— thing.
> You felt heat rushing to your cheeks.
> Thank Celestia he wasn’t looking at you.
> Damn guy had a weird way of messing with your head, always making you feel funny.
> It was something you found interesting about him yet it bothered you to no end.

> “So, Dash, you have the day off?”
> You blink, his voice breaking you from your thoughts.
“Oh, uh, yeah. Weather duty and all that. There’s only a few seasons we have to really hit the skies hard. Um… So… Twilight has you doing errands? You don’t usually—uh.”
> You articulated with a hoof. Trying to find the words.
> He stops and turns to you, making you freeze.
> S-Shoot, is your face okay? You’re not flushed still, right?
> “I live in the Castle, Dash. Helping out this much is the least I should do honestly. I just don’t like how… concerned she can be.” he said with a faint smile.
> He bends down and puts one of his hands on your head, giving a soft scratch between your ears.
> Sweet Faust…
> You could feel your eyes lower as a feeling of utter bliss channeled it’s way through you
> Dammit you hated when he did this!
> More importantly, HOW did he do this?!
> You open your mouth to tell him to knock it off but all that comes out is a breathy moan.
> Your leg twitches as you slowly sink to your haunches, the feeling melting away every thought.
> It stops.
> Your eyes flutter open to see that human’s pretty face beaming as he stood over you.
> “You ponies sure are cute…”
> He… He just...
> F-Fuck this colt!

>>28967822
Was having a bitch of a time trying to get pictures into the posts right now guys. Kept telling me my connection was bad. Oh well.

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>>28967822
> He did that right in the middle of the street like it was nothing!
> Worst part was that it totally worked.
> You look around to see a few mares giggling and giving you looks.
> Your face suddenly felt like it was on fire and you snapped your gaze to the pavement.
> He had to know he was teasing you.
> There was absolutely no way the colt didn’t know what he was doing, right?
> Jeeze… he made you feel like such a beta sometimes.

> “Dash, you okay there? You look kinda overheated. Do you want to take a rest in the shade? I have some water you can drink.”
> Aw… heh, how nice. He was worried and wanted to take care of y—DAMMIT DON’T FALL FOR THE RUSE!
“Nah, I’m fine,” you say as you close your eyes and strike a confident pose, crimson and all.
> T-Take that.
> He shrugs and looks off toward the castle, his brow furrowing at the sun lowering past the treeline.
“Heading back already?”
> He nods. “Yeah, Twilight’s probably wondering where I am. She likes to calculate exact timings and all that to keep track of me, and she probably didn’t factor in our little meetup. You know how she gets.”
“Well she doesn’t want you out alone without a mare when it gets dark, ya know. She’s just being a good friend.”
> He quirks a brow at you.
> “I can handle myself. I don’t get why she tries to baby me so much. I’m bigger and stronger than most ponies.”
> Normally you’d just nod along and humor a colt talking like that, but with Anon, that made you wonder.
> Ha, nah, he was still a colt, no matter how big he was.
> Probably throws like a boy and cries the moment he gets hurt. Sports definitely separated the fillies from the mares.
> You blink and a smile works its way onto your face
> Of course! He was always able to make you feel like a little beta because he was always in his element!
> notthistime.plan

>>28967834
> This time, you’d show him just how marely you were in the best way possible.
> By beating him at hoofball!
> You’d could make a punishment game wager.
> What if he agreed to be your servant for the day?
>W-What if you made him wear a cute butler uniform.
> You bite your lip.
> l-lewd
“Hey, uh, Anon, if you want to hang out there’s a community hoofball game at ponyville park. You up for it? I’ll tell the girls to go easy of course—just a casual fun game.”
> You put on your winningest smile
> Colts always fell for that.
> Take the bait filly, Dashy wants to see YOU made the colt for once.
> He purses his lips. “Yeah sure. I’ve been looking for something interesting to do lately. Twilight might make a fuss though.”
“Just tell her you’re helping Applejack or something. You’ll be fiiiiine.”
> He shrugs. “I’d rather not lie but knowing how… protective she is, I think that’s the best option.”
> Oh, this was going to be so fun.
> You could feel yourself practically bouncing now.
> Keep your cool, filly; Never act too eager.
“Anon, what say we make this thing interesting?”
>”... interesting how?”
“Well, if you’re not chicken, how about we say the loser has to wait hand and foot on the winner, for the rest of the day.”
>Anon paused and gave you a strange look.
>”I thought you said you wanted a casual game?”
“Well yeah, but I mean it’s so much more fun when there’s a reason to win.”
>And when you’ll get to tell Anon to bring you cider in a skimpy outfit.
>That’d take him down a notch.
>”Whatever you say, Dash,” he said. “Alright, the loser does some favors. Let’s just not get crazy with it.”


>Oh… you won’t get too crazy.
>This time.
>Having him lick whipped cream off your wings was for NEXT time he lost.

“I’ll see you at the Hay Tumble at 9 then,” you say as casually as you can, then zoom off before your excitement can get the better of you.
> dis gon be gud

>>28967606
I would post thread related cow but the janitors ban me

>>28967843
Alright, that's where it ends before it got into a convoluted mess that I had to scrap outright. Tell me what you think. Feedback helps a lot.

Also, the bat pone bit is pretty much ready to post. I have an editor who wanted to take a look first and another scene I want to add first though. I'll split it up into 2 or 3 dumps in the coming days, since it came out to 5K or something.

>>28967874
Keep going.

>>28967843
I want to see food play with Dash's wings soon, the idea is too much fun when Anon decides to be a funny guy and dip hot sauce on them for smoking hot wings.

I'll have some green out either tonight or tommorow night.

>>28967874
Please continue. I'm into this story

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Angry about in eqg. Please writefags.

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Angry anon in eqg. Fuck spell checker

>>28967782
10/10 always funny

>>28967598
Pinkie became Anon's best friend when he taught her his jokes, to bad she steals them and its automatically funny when she does it. Stallions reeeeee all across Equestria. Anon doesn't care though because she pays, very well for them. Also horsepussy

>>28967746
>>28967694
Tiny CMC hitting on a thirsty DILF Anon when?

>>28968353
Literally posted in the last thread.
http://pastebin.com/uWRUu1c9
Trigger warning: not rgr

>>28967874
One of my favorite ongoing, non-ded stories. Stay the course.

>>28968496
It was also written 11 months ago.

>>28967874
Keep going, slut.

>>28967874
how'd it get convoluted? And is Twilight getting in on the fun or is she just going to be a bitch?

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Ah, I'll post it once more 'cause new thread and because I haven't posted rgre stuff for a long time and because we need less "wish fulfillment only" stuff and more RGRE stuff, at least in a new thread

>>28968561
Would parts of her cutie mark disappear when you popped her anal and vaginal cherries?
It would be hilarious if she hooked up with Anon and then just had the cherry stems on her flank.

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>>28968514
Eh, it was new to me.

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>>28968453
Not soon enough.

>>28968453
Are you sure it isn't the CMC who are the thirsty ones?

>>28968677
I WANT TO PICK UP THAT CAT AND PET IT UNTIL MEOWS MY FACE OFF

>>28968845
Why not both?

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>>28967598
I came for the poni poni, as promised by Pinkie. Where is it?

>>28967843
Cant wait for more.

>>28968496
Nice eldritchy terror though. Speaking of CUTHULU ANON AND INVASTIGATOR PONE, WHERE ARE YE!

>>28968670
Sounds magical enough to work.

>>28969341
That one was a really good one......wonder where the writer went?

>>28969364
Don't know, even the autistic retards we have around that bitch weren't that active at the time. Maybe he got sucked up by an eldritch abomination?

Griffon cuddles when?

>>28969633
when you get a girlfriend.

>>28969689
A qt catbird gf

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>>28969716
stop making me feel dammit!

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>At first, Anon was pissed that Twilight dropped him into RGREqG.
>Then, he notices the unusual amount of curvy nerds being ignored by the rest of the boys.
>Desperate, jaded, and touch-hungry curvy nerds who he shares a lot of interests with...
>Maybe this won't be so bad after all.

>>28969822
>Anon can make a girl blush with his smile
>Anon can give make her feel butterflies in her stomach when he holds her hand
J-Just like real life, r-right?

>>28969341
Pastebin? I remember reading a bit at the beginning

>>28969947
When the other sex considers you attractive for just being a healthy male who isn't an asshole, yeah.

>>28969822
>Twilight, not used to spending a lot of time around other people, has a habit of speaking out loud
>Anon pays attention to her, shares her interests, and likes hanging out with her
>"Willing to tolerate my presence" is on her list of desirable traits in a male, btw.
>Anon does something appropriately nerdy and non-typical for males in RGREqG
>"Holy shit, he's my soulmate."
>Realizes a split-second later what she just said

Need more green of Veterinarian Anon as a doctor/nurse in RGRE.

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>>28969996
Has potential. It would even work without Anon being super attractive, as the reason she likes him is chemistry.

>>28967981
>food play
I feel like that's asking for screeching Anons. Either way, I don't think doing that would work as more than a visual pun. Wings are sensitive, sure, but they have no open pores or anything to make that uncomfortable. Besides, it'd be dickish to hurt her.

>>28967886
>>28968313
>>28968518
>>28968506
>>28969324
This would be my third ongoing story if I choose to keep putting time into it. I can give you a solid maybe. It's not unfun to write Dash like this but I like to finish things before I move on.

>>28968521
>how'd it get convoluted?

I find that a story is a lot easier to write if I have specific scenes in mind, rather than a concept (which is why prompts don't get picked up when they're good btw). On top of this, a plot device that can drive the story by introducing something that can create problems is something I lean towards because I know I lose direction when I write.

What I had invented for this was a plot centered on Alicorns getting a summoned familiar as a right of passage. Twilight ends up with Anon. Much to her dismay, he has no magic and is actually a boy, meaning she thinks he's weak.

The plot was set to revolve around their back and forth relationship, Twilight afraid he'll get hurt, being unhappy with what she got stuck with, and wrestling with the physic bond that doesn't allow either of them as much privacy as she'd like. Anon just wants to go home and stop being treated like he's worthless as a guy and a familiar. They share sensations, emotion and thought through the bond, and it's clearer based on distance.

There were a lot of action adventure elements from there that would have been more like a fim novel to deal with, rather than a casual green, so I scrapped it altogether. The Dash bit above was like half of what I'd done.

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>>28970108
>"Open up and let me check your teeth. Have you been getting enough hay in your diet?"
>*rubber glove stretching noises*
>Pony's face when

>>28967598
https://discord.gg/cfsgAZR

>>28969996
>Anon and Twilight fell asleep together while hanging out.
>Twi wakes up to arms around her middle and hands on her breasts.
>Geez, he sure is squeezing them funny..!
>Twilight suddenly realizes that the squeezing on her tits are button inputs for Smash Sisters.
>Grapple. Down-throw into up-tilt into up-tilt into up-tilt into up-tilt.
>The boy holding her giggles in his sleep.
>Twilight also realizes that she needs to start saving money for a ring. A fancy one.

>>28970192
I like how Twilight is overtaken by sudden clarity and is all "Yup, I'm going to marry this boy."

>>28970115
>the reason she likes him is chemistry.
Bitches can't resist dem titrations

>>28970138
short/10
Expand on this to a length of at least three thousand letters.

>>28969996
>Day wednesday in Canterlot High.
>That's club day, where you spend the second half of the day doing things with a club.
>Be Anon in Chemistry Club.
>Doing science all up in this.
>Titrating up some solutions, makan notes.
>Twilight Sparkle and her band of merry men comes in.
>They aren't actually men, but that's not going to get in the way of a good nickname.
>"Okay girls, you wanted to see my club? here it is."
>You decide to keep an eye on them while they're here, since they are all trouble magnets.
>The worst kind of magnets.
>"So what do you even do in here?" asks the rainbow haired one.
>"We do all sorts of things...." twiggles explains.
>You don't pay very much attention to her words because you're busy with FUCKING SCIENCE and also stopping her friends from fucking up the equiptment.
"No."
>You give a stern look at the pink one who somehow built a bong out of glassware while you weren't looking.
>Bitches need to learn some fucking lab safety.
>Sunset Shimmer, who is also in the chemistry club and one of the gang of trouble makers, comes over and disassembles the bong.
>You continue your titration.

>>28970192
Continue.

>>28968561
Very nice.

>Who should you fuck with today
>You got twiggles not horse twiggles all hot and bothered for your dick yesterday
>Short eye contact, subtle touches, and faking an interest in what she was saying was all it took
>Sure you could have gotten your dick wet but you were still pissed at purple drank for drugging you and tossing you through a portal
>Not to mention how sticky you were when you woke up
>No you must choose another desperate teen hungry for your D to torment today
>"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"
>The shout draws the attention of everyone in the room
>Lyra is standing at her usual table staring daggers at Moon Dancer
>Bon Bon quickly drags her back into her chair
>Slowly all eyes turn back to their food but yours
>You can feel the side of your mouth rising as you get that cocky little grin on your face
>You hurridly march over to the gathering of nerds
>"Moon Dancer I swear I will break your nose if you dont shut up."
>She smirks at the idle threat
>"Oh really? All I said was that Drakecube GT was better than Ubuu saga of Drakecube Z. Are you deaf or something?"
>Oh if this chick is trolling Lyra...
>Well lets just say you might have found your new favorite person
>No one in either Equestria could take or give the bantz like you are used to
>Just as Lyra looks like she is about to lunge over the table you interrupt by setting down your tray
>When they all look over to see what made the noise you could feel the collective tightening of their vag's
>You sit your happy ass down in the open spot right next to Moon Dancer
>She unconsciously shifts away from you as you do
"Ladies! Ladies! What seems to be all the ruckus?"

>>28967874
I like it and its cute and I want more.

>>28969822
My dick needs this, be the manwhore for the cute nerd girls that we never got.

>>28970376
Nice, Anon the angry nerd tamer.

>>28970376

...why did I read that last line in Chef's voice?

>>28967874
This is good, please do more.

>>28970138
>Rainbow dash comes in with a broken wing.
>"W-Well, how bad is it Dr. Anon? " She ask in fear.
>Anon sighs.
"I'll get the shotgun..."
>At first Rainbow is scared. But then she thinks, Anons a doctor. A 'Shotgun' must be a fancy doctor thing to make shot's easier.
>This is gone when Anon walks out with a actual shotgun and pumps it before pointing it at her.

>>28967874
This is pretty good.

>>28971056
>turned out it was just joint dislocation not broken bones, her wing is fixed with a loud "pop" when she is evading buck-shots and escapes into the trash chute.

>>28971329
"And that's why she's Rainbow TRASH!"
>You hear a muffled "Fuck you!"
>"...Did you really chase a patient just to make that joke?" Ask nurse Red Heart.
"Yep!"
>You say with pride.
>She just looks at you for a bit.
>"You wanna fuck in the broom closet?"
"Sure."
>A muffled "I wanna join!" Comes from the trash shoot.
>You love your job.

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>>28971367
>"...Did you really chase a patient just to make that joke?" Ask nurse Red Heart.
>"Yep!"

It sounds like Todd Quinlan desu.

>>28969957
I think it was this one:
http://pastebin.com/UGixneWK

>>28969341
He said he was going to leave, but also that he'd be back someday.

>>28970115
Twilight no Tsukaima?

>>28967874
Please continue

>>28971056
>>28971329
>Rainbow tenses up when Anon comes into the room
>POP
>Wing reinserts itself
"Be more careful next time, Rainbow Dash."

>>28970192
I need more

>>28971657
It was a mix of that plus wheel of time, humanity fuck yeah, and other general fantasy tropes.

Twiggles can do no wrong!

>>28972525
I miss Amphetanon. His Anon-dad story is the closest we have to HFY. RIP in pepperoni.

>>28972958
>Hyper-aggressive immune system (effective and paranoid enough for something as harmless as pollen to trigger a reaction)
>Adrenaline decreasing reaction time from an already respectable <0.5 seconds during times of imminent danger
>Kidneys and liver filtering toxins and pollutants from Anon's system
>Something something RGRE
I like to think that Anon's first words in Equestria were "why does the air smell so good?".

>>28972958
>>28973007
Yeah, that was one of the many aspects I loved about his Dad-Anon thing. It's definitely my favorite story here.

I'm surprised people are receptive to HFY though. I've always wanted to write something in Equestria with Jenkinsverse rules (all aliens have tissue consistency of cooked salmon while humans are incredibly dense, giving them extreme strength and toughness because they evolved on a "death world"), but I'd need to figure out something simple. I also feel like it'd be better suited for the AiE thread but I hear they're pretty toxic. Eitiher way, I'd like to revisit the summon-Anon concepts in the future.

>>28973055
He made it work, too. The attitude that the mares had was just right to make their reactions to him believable.

>You really ought to thank Twilight for these special shoes, else you wouldn’t be able to be in the Mile High Club with Rainbow Dash.
>Speaking of the mare where did she go?
>Scanning the bar for the unique mane of colors you fail to find her amongst the many ponies dancing around to the heavy beat of the club.
>Humming you sit down on the bar stool and frown, did she just ditch you?
>You swear if she did just to get some dick you’re so going to prank her back for it.
>She /is/ kinda your ride to anywhere in Cloudsdale anyway.
>A clink of glass nearby draws your attention from the bar mare.
“I didn’t order this?”
>”It’s fine cutie, it’s actually from the mare down the bar there.”
>Following the direction the bar mare points at with her wing you soon find your patron, a mint green mare with two toned blond hair at catching her gaze she winks at you while licking her lips.
>...Damn
>Taking the glass you lift it up ideally noting that it’s one of those fritzy umbrella drinks that bubbles, you raise it to the mare and toast her before downing the whole thing in one go.
>As you set the glass back down you keep your eyes locked on the mare noting with glee how wide her eyes had gotten before a smirk crosses her face.
>At that point the drink actually starts to hit you, less of a punch to the face and more of a stiff breeze.
>You feel a bit floaty to be honest.
>Shaking it off you thank the bartender and start to walk over to the mare with an easy grin.
>It’s only when you take a couple of steps do you find you’re almost bouncing to your target, not a metaphorical saying, but you’re actually bouncing.
>The fuck was in that drink?
>Whatever you got pussy to hunt down.

>>28973096
>As you walk up your patron nods to you still holding that smirk before patting the barstool next to her, “Care for a seat hot stuff?”
“Sure, so you wanted some company?”
>Taking your seat you watch as the mare waves down another couple of drinks for you both before she answers, “Wouldn’t mind it, name’s Lightning Dust, and you?”
“Anon, thanks for the drink, but if your wanting me drunk you better bring out the better stuff, I can down those umbrella drinks like they were water.”
>”Their mostly fruit juice so I could imagine, tell you what next round I’ll have her break out the really good stuff.”
>You snort at that taking the offered drink once it arrives.
“The day you ponies manage to make something that knocks me on my butt is the day I go into a herd.”
>”So you’re single then?” Lightning asks with a ghost of a smile sipping her own drink, some small thing on the rocks.
“Mmhm, though I know a few friends who’d want me to just take the plunge with them, but I don’t really like the whole herding thing, feels shallow you know?”
>At the word “shallow” you just catch a subtle flinch in Lightning’s wings. A soft twitch that you remember Rainbow does she gets caught, usually in your underwear drawer.

>>28973097
>”Ah, so I don’t suppose you’d be interested in some coffee later?”
>Raising an eyebrow at the forward mare you give her a better look, fluffy chest tuft, cuddly wings, some lip nibbling in worry and she’s staring hard at her drink.
>Reaching over you simply scratch behind her ears making them perk up in alarm.
“I wouldn’t mind a bit, had an idea of when ‘later’ might be?”
>Put on the spot you draw back as Lightning blinks her eyes rapidly trying to catch up before she suddenly downs her drink in one go before looking you in the eye, “You for real?”
“Yep.”
>At the simple yes you watch as her grin grows across her face as she stands up and starts to hover in place using her foreleg to tug on your arm, “Then let’s go I have a pl-”
>You interrupt her by simply grabbing onto her foreleg and simply pull her back into your chest.
>There is a wumpf of displaced air and your lap is filled with pegasus.
>”Hey! I thought you sai-”
>A simple boop to the nose makes her stop for a moment as you wave down the bartender.
“You still owe me that drink of the good stuff remember?”
>You can feel the glare leveled at you from below before Lightning wiggles in place trying to squirm free, “At least let me go you giant!”
“Aw, are you embarrassed? Thought having a stallion as a seat was what big teated mares do.”
>Chuckling you simply adjust your grip on the mare keeping her in your lap, that is before you feel her tilt her head upwards and oh jeez that’s tongue!
>Shivering from the lick on your neck you loosen your grip on Lightning, giggling the mare slips away.
“Ah, well someone’s feeling frisky.”
>”Oh I’ve got more where that came from handsome.” Lightning answers you with a lidded eyes before she waves down the bartender, “I need two shots of the Yakistan special.”

>>28973007
>I like to think that Anon's first words in Equestria were "why does the air smell so good?".
Hilariously enough, or sadly depending on how you look at it, this would likely be most of our first words.

>>28973106
The bartender blanches at the request, “You want /two/? Are you sure you can handle it?”
>”One’s for my tall friend here.”
>After glancing towards you the bartender frowns before stage whispering to Lightning, “Are you sure he can handle that much?”
“He is right here and can hear you quite well, just get me the drink miss.”
>With a startled meep the bartender is off on her way while Lightning chuckles to herself, “That was mean.”
>You simply shrug in response.
“I get that you’re cultural norms are different, but god is it annoying.”
>”Hey now, there’s nothing wrong with a mare being there for her colt, besides it’s nice to be the wind under their wings you know?”
>That’s rather poetic...
“That’s one hell of a euphemism for having sex if I ever heard one.”
>So of course you have to ruin it, the red flush across Lightning's face is rather cute.
>”I thought it was the mares that were randy, you just have sex on the brain don’t you?”
“Call it a occupational hazard of my race, so what do you do for a living?”
>Tracing a hoof on the countertop Lightning gives a small snort of laughter before thrusting her tuft out, “Well I happen to be a Wonderbolt trainee, almost graduated to the reserves even.”
>Ideally polishing her wing on her tuft Lightning nods, “Yep before too long you’re probably going to see one of the future leader of the Wonderbolts, no doubt!”
“Those are the fliers who do all those fancy flight tricks right?”
>Lightning nods, “Of course, only the best of the best get in there and manage to make the cut.”
“Funny thing about that, I have a friend who's in the reserves as well.”
>”Whoa, no way. Who is it? I might actually know them.” Lightning asks, you can see a small spark hidden away in her eyes.

>>28973112
>If her tone was different you’d think she was, jealous.
>Before you can answer your drinks arrive in two small shot glasses.
>Inside is a pale off white colored drink that almost looks creamy.
>Blinking at the drink you watch as Lightning sniffs it first before her face reels from it, “Yep that’s the authetic stuff right here.”
>Taking a glass you raise it up to sniff as well.
>!
>Choking you gag as it feels like your nose hairs were just burned off from the alcohol content, there was also an undercurrent of milk as well.
>”Alright colt you asked for this bottoms up!” Lightning offers your shot in a toast which you complete with a subtle clink in the club.
>You both down the shot at the same time and are almost kicked out of your seat from the taste.
>Sweet Jesus on Baby Back Ribs!
>It almost reminds you of vodka with its strength, but it’s blunted instead of sharp by the milk.
>And so damn thick!
>It’s more like cream than a milk!
>Instead of being stabbed in the back alleys you’re sense of taste is simply being bludgeoned instead.
>Still as it slowly burns down your throat your eyes water and you both clink the glasses down on the counter with another clink.
>”Phew! Get’s me everytime!” Lightning cheers out as she giggles again a faint hint of red across her face.
“No kidding, that almost reminds me of home.”
>”I would hope so it is milk after all.”
>Even as the world seems to tilt a bit you simply quirk your head at Lightning.

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>>28973055
You could always make the mares being squishy in comparison to him rgre. Imagine the hit to their pride when the new stallion to town is leagues tougher and stronger than every mare.

>>28973120


“What you mean by that, and why milk of all things?”
>At the question Lightning force in place before sucking her lip in thought, “Well, I forgot you’ve never had it, but it’s kinda eh in it’s production method.”
“Please as long as it’s not the testicales of a bull I’ll be fine.”
>Lightning stares at you in horror, “Why would anyone eat that!?”
>Holding your hands up in surrender you simply reply, “I don’t know, blame other people, so just spit it out.”
>Still looking green around the gills Lightning simply shakes herself before explaining, “Well the yaks have always been avid drinkers, so have theiir mares too, so with all the drinking and rutting that goes on up there you sometimes get some mares that wind up dripping milk that’s been laced with all the mead they drink. Some yak up there got the idea to bottle it up and sell it at a primium saying it was the finest beverage Yakistan has ever produced. It’s like three fourths booze mixed in with milk that Yaks give off.”
“...Huh, guess lactation is a big fetish up there.”
>That comment earns you a jab at the arm, “Oh my Celestia that’s awful.” Despite her words you can see the smile on her face.
“I can’t help it when people give me an opening that wide, it’d be criminal not to.”

I thought I do a short on Lightning Dust, out there I know, but we never really get many nice greens about some of side pones, they need some love too you know. What's your all's thoughts on it?

>>28973139
This is kinda cute, I'd read more if you wrote it.

>>28973139
Pretty good, continue

>>28973110
>"Holy shit, these vegetables actually taste like something! Why are they so good!?"
>"Hey, did you guys put something in the water? It has a weird flavour. It tastes like... nothing."
>"It's too quiet here. This is going to take some getting used to."

>>28973123
>Comedic boxing glove on a spring knocks a pony into a brick wall
>Result is a hole in the brick wall, a pony in a pile of bricks; pony is out of commission for about 10 seconds, or for as long as it takes for the little birds to stop flying around her head
>Anon takes the boxing glove to the chest, goes "oof", and is knocked back a step
It's easier to do if ponies work on cartoon logic and things are just generally harmless to Anon. He doesn't even need to be all that strong, just not as squishy and cartoony as ponies are.

>>28973610
>Comedic boxing glove on a spring
Lupone the thiiiiiiirrrrddd!

>>28973610

Except this has terrifying implications.

>Anon is accidentally hit by a falling piano
>Is horrifically ded
>Dozens of lives destroyed
>Entire town falls into unrelenting depression
>Ponyville is deemed a cursed area, contaminated forever by undying misery
>This event is unanimously understood by the entire world to be the most tragic thing to have ever occurred
>Even imagining Anon's death is equivalent to actually living through the holocaust

>>28973996
He said Anon wouldn't be affected as much as them, so the piano would just break over him and it'd hurt a bit.

>>28973996
>Anon do some crack a joint

>>28970192
This is cute. We need more

The thing that I was supposed to be writing about is not my Forte and I need some more Ideas to actually fill the blue void of the board with green.

Crusader Anon Ideas preferably.

>>28974999
SMITING THE INFIDELS

>>28974999

>anon tries to convert the CMC (with mixed results)
>anon finds out celestia and luna control the Sun and Moon threatens to burn the Heretics has to have his memory wiped.
>anon starts raising money for another Crusade offers ponies vouchers allowing them to commit whatever sins they want in exchange (all are funny /cute)
>anon starts raising money for his own church and against trying to convert the local poners

>>28975160
Last one was supposed to be again... not against

>>28973139
>Anon and Lighting Dust meet Rainbow Dash on the way back from the bar.
>Lightning and Rainbow have a confrontation.
>Rainbow demands a rematch over who is worthy of the top cunt hat.
>Anon must judge.
>Top cunt refers to she who can fly the highest.
>Rainbow and lightning are fighting over who is the better flyer.
>Anon is being denied his sum fuk because of this.
>Luna comes down from the moon, takes the hat, and fucks Anon right in the pussy.
>"Didst thous ponelets really think thy meager altitudes were worthy of behatment? Gaze upon our superior form and weep at thy inadequacy."

>>28975160
>memory wiped
No.

>>28974999
>Crusader Anon is in Equestria.
>Anon is joined on his crusades by Celestia who tells him of evil foreigners who need smiting.
>Together they crusade against the deer.

>>28974066
That doesn't make sense.
The premise was ponies are affected by their environment cartoonishly to their environment while Anon is affected more realistically.
If Anon is following more realistic physics then something like a piano falling on him would wreck his shit.
>Pony is hit by boxing glove on a spring.
>Thrown through wall.
>Piano falls on pony, is fine later in the day.

>Anon hit by glove on a spring.
>He might fall over or be bruised.
>Hit by falling piano.
>If he's lucky he'll be in hospital for weeks.

>>28975160
>anon starts raising money for another Crusade offers ponies vouchers allowing them to commit whatever sins they want in exchange (all are funny /cute)

I like the idea of them doing things like littering or ripping the tag off their mattresses.

>>28974999
Celtic anon shows up with his horse
Crusader and Celtic fight, as there mares despitely try to defuse the situation

>>28975324
>>28974066
>>28973996
It's a Pegasi piano. It's made of balsa wood and light enough Anon could lift it with one hand

Balsa wood actually makes up a decent amount of Equestrias various wooden items, aside from those that are used in building supports

>Anon tries to impress by benchpressing a piano
>Audience nonchalantly points out Pinkie juggling 5 of them across the way

>>28973055
We did/do/are evolving on a death world, everything around outside of major cities(and even in a majority of those areas to) want us dead, scientist have proven that if we were on a planet with just a little bit more gravity then we wouldn't be able to leave orbit, we evolved to the point that our intelligence and endurance is what keeps us at the top of the food chain, regardless of whatever hippy(read: Furrys) naysayer tells you about the mighty lion or a rampaging elephant killing us easily. We are death worlders. Some not as impressive as others, but death worlders all the same.

>Anon declares Luna and Celesita false gods
>Keeps trying to besiege the castle
>Builds terrible siege warfare equipment that doesn't work
>Catapult doesn't launch
>Siege towers crumble
>Battering ram is too heavy to lift
>He tries to burn it down but >made of stone

>>28973528
Life is too easy in Ponyville so Anon absconds off to the Everfree to rough it out there.

>Ponies try to make romantic gestures to Anon
>Unfortunately, they're only romantic to ponies
>Generally recognizable as horse behaviour/likes and dislikes

>"Anon... I have a present for you..."
>Mare proceeds to try and feed Anon a carrot
>"If you're still hungry, I have a little baggy of oats that we can share later."

>>28975872
>Anon returns shortly after.
>He was disappointed by how tame the forest is.
>Fluttershy is besieged by various Everfree animals that want to get into their new husbando's pants.

>>28975606
>a hambeast gets into space
>can move like Sanic on "normal" planets
>strangely inflected shrieks of terror from the citizens of those worlds as lardzilla comes crashing through their walls like the Koolaid Man and devours all the food

>>28975923
>>"If you're still hungry, I have a little baggy of oats that we can share later."
thats adorable

Thanks guys, Also, whatever happened to Celtic Anon's writer?

>>28975923
This, please.

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>>28975606
>Anon ends up on softworld RGRE.
>Marvels at how pure and clean and gentle everything is.
>He even manages to avoid muscle atrophy in the lower gravity just because the food is so nutritious.
>Ponies just assume earth is like Equestria.
>The rumor mill flies into overdrive. Everypony wonders what sort of madmax hell a male as mild as Anon must have lived in to be so tough.

>>28976107
Anon is a whiteboy that describes Detroit.

>>28976122
Impossible, he'd be dead.

>>28976122
>>28976107

Anon is a Nigger who describes Pulaski, Tennessee.

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>>28976107
>>28976122
>>28976133
>>28976151
Anon is a normal guy that describes normal life.

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>>28976194
Sounds about right.

>>28976194
>on my way to work while crossing the road I witness a hijacking in broad daylight and nearly get run over when the thief makes his escape
>making it across I make my way down the sidewalk and am promptly shoved over and have my shoes stolen
>finally making it to my my job I have to take cover inside the doors as a drive by shooting takes place, killing three innocent bystanders and a pitbull
>afterwards as I'm climbing the stairwell, an announcement comes over the pa system informing everybody that they're moving their business overseas and we'll all be out of work within the week
Such is life on glorious Terra.

>>28976194
you took it too far.

How would you comfort a heartbroken pone with trust issues, RGRE?

>>28976278
Go out drinking and get plastered.

I'm buying.

>>28976194
It just so happens that Earth is a hostile deathworld. When Anon casually describes how many diseases we deal with and how hostile our animal life is, ponies are terrified.

…And then he tells them about Australia.

>>28976528
>Fluttershy is the only Pony who still wants to visit Earth

IT'S GREEN TIME, KIDDOS. As always, never edited, written at 1 AM, and thoughroly shit.

>>28976553

Pre Write: I honestly don't know why I’m writing this, and I have no plan.
Post Write: What the hell did I write? I think I accidently wrote Crusader Anon OOC.
Also, the title of the crusader Anon shorts as a collective shall be High Impact Holy Violence.

>You are Crusader Anon.
>And you've heard tales of Dragons passing in the area.
>You’d heard legends since you were a wee lad, but this was your chance.
>You were going to slay a flying Serpent.
>You were going to finally achieve your hopes and dreams.
>You would mount the things head.
>DEUS VULT.
>It's took about 30 seconds to cocere Anna into accepting that you were going to decapitate a dragon.
>Twiggle Spackle had told you that do to recent climate changes the dragons were migrating back to where ever they originally came from.
>Soon after you had rushed to your house to gather your supplies and put the maile armour on Anna.
>Which included your 100% Dragons proof Holy wooden shield.
>You are currently on Anna’s back as she cantered forward.
>She seemed to be Enjoying this too much.
>It was like she was glowing.
>You reach your hand down and absently run it through her mane.
>She Nickers happily.
>Wierd.
>You looked around the surprisingly calm forest around you.
>You're extremely suspicious.
>...
>...
>Seems to be nothing.
>You were almost hoping to-
>”Help me!”
>A shrill, high pitched scream follows the yell for aid.
>You force Anna to veer off to the right, the direction of the scream.
>She does so willingly though.
>Picking up speed, and eventually going at a full gallop through the strangely short underbrush, your steed masterfully dodges trees as you draw your sword.

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>>28976553

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>>28976558

>You come into view of a light blue pony with a Wizard's hat.
>Wizard Confirmed.
>Pone Merlin acquired for dragon slaying duties.
>The pony is surrounded from all sides by what seems to be wooden wolves.
>It's surprisingly clear of trees.
>You tap Anna’s sides and raise your sword.
“NON NOBIS DOMINE!”
>You swing your sword down just as Anna passes a few feet from three of the eight present wolves shattering them outright.
>You had gotten a deadly feeling of premonition as your next pass with Anna caused her to ram a wolf that was mid-leap to the pony.
>You fly backwards off of Anna as she trips forward.
>By sheer luck you land on another wolf, leaving three others with their attentions focused solely on you.
>Quickly you stand and almost tumble back down from the lack of air in your lungs.
>You power through and swat away a lunging wolf, shattering it in the process.
>You begin to charge the last two, but they dart away before you can say ‘Sweet Baby Jesus Covered in Barbecue sauce and dipped in bacon grease.’
>You skid to a halt in front of the blue pony.
“Merlin, you must aid me on my quest!”
>You think that’ll work.
>”W-wait? Who even are you? What Quest? Why is that mare so huge?”
>She devolves into a mess of jabbering as you helmet palm.
>You notice a trail of piss streaking down her leg.
>You feel pity for this mare.
“God guided me here, and because of him, you are safe, and I have found a companion to help me slay a dragon.”
>Her eye twitches slightly.
>”Y-you saved Trixie to help you slay a dragon?”
>You nod enthusiastically, she got the point! Yay!
>”Trixie doesn't know how to fight Timberwolves, let alone does she know how to kill a dragon!”
>Anna seems to have come to, as she trots over.
>”Why did we save this Pony, and what did I let you do that! I’m so stupid! You could gotten killed by those nasty wolves! Why do I always mess up!?”

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>>28976562
>She puts her head to the ground and covers her face with her hooves.
>The pony looks kind of awed, she does after all only come a small bit above Anna’s knees.
>You nudge Anna with your foot and she stands up.
>You pat her side.
“You did good.”
>She sighs in relief.
>You put your foot into the stirrups on her saddle and haul yourself on top of her.
>”Why are you on top of her now?” The blue pony questions.
“Speed is of the essence, Merlin.”
>”Trixie is not named Merlin.”
>You tap Anna's sides and set her off on a canter.
>”Wait! Don't leave Trixie out here alone!”
“Then come, Merlin! We have many a Dragon to slay! You shall be repaid in your efforts if you come.”
>You turn your helmet on her, trusting Anna to steer you back to the road you were following.
>You pull on the reins to slow Anna down and she complies, allowing Merlin to catch up.
>”Why do we need another Pony, Anon?”
>Merlin Protests as she walks beside you.
“Every good dragon slayer needs a wizard to help them on their endeavors. My parents taught me that essentially from birth. They just didn't expect me to come under the pope's name and DISOWN THEM! Filthy Orthodox.”
>You grumble about the other denominations as Anna and Merlin open conversation.
>You don't listen because Baptists had to be complained about.
>Though eventually you pull out of your crippling hatred for all other denominations.
>”DRAGON!” (“FUS RO DAH.”)
>You look up, your sword drawing with a crisp rasp that seems to make the smaller pony bellow you flinch.
“PRO PAPA!”
>You spur Anna on, following the direction of the Dragon to what looks like a mountain range.
>You make it to the foot of the mountain and immediately dismount and begin to climb like a scrambling madman.
>You make it to the lip of the fire-y mountain and stagger back at the heat that assaults you.
>But you weren’t going to retreat because of a little heat.

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>>28976570

>You flashback to the battle of San Saladin, the intense heat, your 100 comrades in arms facing the 1,000 strong Saracen army, the cries of men dying around you, Christian and Muslim alike.
>No.
>This would not deter you.
>You slide down the inside of the mountain and hit the ground with a roll before charging the nearest bright pink dragon.
>There seems to be five in the immediate area.
>No matter, your bravery, and stupidity, was unparalleled.
“Die, INFIDEL.”
>Your shield goes up to block the inevitable slough of flame that doesn't happen.
>Instead, you hear deep, feminine “awwwwwwws.”
>The fact that they weren't taking one of God’s servants as a serious threat ignited your Eternal Anglo Rage.
>Your first attempted cut with your sword slid off in a shower of sparks.
>”Oh, that tickles, what is this little creature? Oh so brave.”
>You can feel your rage growing as you let loose the most manly ‘ragggggghhhhhhhh’ you could.
>”Awww, it's yelling in anger! Why is this so cute?”
>After many attempts to cleave the dragon's leg off you began to thrust with the sword.
>You dig your sword under a scale and end up popping off.
“Oh, he took off one of my scales, he's really trying.”
>You, filled with as much Eternal Anglo Rage as you were, could not think coherently.
>You thrust straight up after going between the Dragon's legs.
>A loud, almost ear piercing scream sounds off.
>Something rolls into your leg, Merlin it seems.
>”ANON, TRIXIE GOT DOWN HERE, AND WHAT DID YOU DO?”
>The other dragons in the area all cringe and turn green, eventually turning tale to vomit or fly off.
>The Dragon you had stabbed falls backward.
>You withdraw your sword and raise it in victory.
>About to cheer, you notice something.
“HAHA, INFIDEL, UNDERESTIMATE ME again…”
>Blood trickles out of… it's vagina.
>You don't even turn around as you Immediately regret everything.
>You step back a few paces and tuck Merlin into your Arm.

>>28976574

Honestly, the end to this Green bothers me, but hey, it was a prompt, a weird prompt.

Also, have I even earned this writefag name? Or am I just using one without Merit?

>>28976574
>>28976576

>And you book it out of there.

>By the time you had gotten home, Anna and other residents of the town asked how the great battle had went.
>You just said good.
>They couldn't see your face go pale under the helmet.
>On another note, you had an until further notice guest living in your home.
>Merlin still kept saying her name was Trixie, but you didn't believe her.

>And that was the tale of how you had ‘slain’ a dragon.

Mixed up my post order, the fuck up I am.

>>28976580

Also, my pastebin because Self advertisement.

http://pastebin.com/u/Rogal_Dayne

>>28976589
I like it.
Merlin needs to get casting some spells, she's not pulling her weight in combat.

>>28973996
>mares have to wear ribbons in remembrance
Haha, yes.

>>28976541
She would.

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>>28976574
Poor dragon.

>>28976589
MOAR!
>>28976600
DUB DUBS OF TRUTH!

>>28973139
I want to see more. I also want to see Lightning's teats get in a twist over Rainbow.

>>28976589
You earned your name a hell of a lot better than me.

>>28976866
Oh, also more green soon.

>>28976834
You kidding, she just had a Crusader take her virginity, her most precious gift. She'll be back.

>>28977076
Hard to say. RGRE being RGRE most likely, but if you think about it the situation was more like this: Bunch of teens hanging out at a party, and one of them just got porked by Barney Rubble in front of her friends. Also, we're assuming his triumphant sword swing didn't just lop off her dragon clit or some other variant of reptile circumcision(hence her friends' reactions).

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>>28976574
>stabbed it RIGHT in the vagina
KEK

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>>28976887
Okay, nevermind. I just reread the update. It is complete shit. I'll post tomorrow when i figure this out.

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>>28977295
How dare you raise my hopes just to kill them. You're a sick, sick man.

>>28976528
>"...and they got these giant spiders, called "bird-eating spiders". They do exactly what you think they do."

>>28976580
I'm a big fan of Anna. The whole "horse-turned-pony" thing is pretty funny, and I like Trixie's reaction of "why the fuck is she so big?"

>>28977465
speaking of spiders, google "spider silk harvesting".

>>28973139
More plz

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>>28977465
>"My world also has what's called a tarantula-hawk. It is neither a tarantula nor is it a hawk."
>"It is a kind of giant wasp that has the second or so most painful sting in the insect kingdom. It lasts for around 30 minutes and the area that gets sting may be paralyzed for a bit."
>"It stings tarantulas, paralyzes them, lays an egg on top of it's belly, and then when it hatches the larvae eats the tarantula while it's still alive."

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>"Stop eating my cookies!"
"No."
>"Stoooopppp!"
"Nope."
>"Stoooooppppp yooooouuuuu cuuuuuunnnnnttttt!"
>You chuckled, popping another tiny cookie into your mouth
>It wasn't a very good cookie
>It was too small, and it tasted too processed
>They were the kind of cookie that left a taste in your mouth FAR after you finished eating them
>Processed
>Industrialized
>Metallic
>Factory made
>The same kind of taste that most food that you ate nowadays tasted
>You would have much preferred something homemade that your pack male made
>"Gimme!"
>You chuckled as Anon tried to reach up and take the small bag of cookies out of your hand
>You might have not liked the cookies all that much, but there was always something about teasing your mate that made them taste just a little bit better
>Anon had his face buried between your breasts
>His body was rubbing against yours
>His arms were wrapped around your middle, trying to pin your arms
>You were grinding your backside against his groin
>Even though he was too busy being upset with you to get aroused, you nevertheless enjoyed the feeling of his length rubbing against your bottom
>In fact, you quite liked having your man like this
>Having him this close
>His scent mingling with yours
>Feeling his warm, soft body tense and flex

>>28977957
>Feeling those teeth of his gently nip at your collarbone
>If you still had a tail it might have been wagging
"You want your cookies?" you asked, giving the half empty bag a shake
>"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
>Anon poked his face though your cleavage to glare at you
>"Give me my fucking cookies, woman," he growled
>Angling the bag toward your mouth, you shook it
>Two cookies fell into your mouth
>As you hummed theatrically, your man's eyes narrowed down to slits
"These cookies?" you asked through your mouthful
>"Give. Me. My. Fucking. Cookies."
>Not breaking eye contact, Anon bit down on one of your breasts
>You twitched, trying not to moan
>By the seas was he making it difficult not to take him right here in front of all of these worthless mortals...
"But I like these cookies," you lied through your mouthful
>"Which is WHY I put them in your fucking lunch box!"
"But I like the ones that come from your lunchbox."
>"They're the same fucking cookies!"
"No they're not."
>Your pack male sighed, taking a few moments to nip the skin below your throat
>"Then give me your cookies. I'll eat them," he grumbled
>You smiled, popping more of his cookies into your mouth
"Nope. They're my cookies," you said matter-of-factly
>Anon's body twitched
>His eyes widened, filling with righteous anger and indignation
>He pulled his face out of your cleavage, his cheeks puffed out
>"I swear to fucking god, Dagi, if you don't give me my FUCKING COOKIES--"
>Sweet gods of the sea was he adorable...
>Wrapping an arm around his head, you pressed your forehead against his
>Humming, you then kissed him before he could react

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>>28977972
>Like always, his lips were soft and sweet
>Not too plump, not too thin
>Your nostrils flared, taking in his scent
>The scent of a man
>Your man
>Your mate
>You began to hum, leaning into the kiss
>A part of you wanted to slip your tongue into his mouth to have some real fun, but you decided against it
>While you had no qualms with kissing your mate in front of all of these mortals, there WERE teachers watching
>And your mate got irritated when you or the other girls got detention...
>Exhaling through your nose, you broke the kiss
"You are the silliest man that I've met in a very long time," you murmured, nuzzling his cheek with yours
>Anon, though he didn't look as upset as he had a moment ago, continued to frown at you
>"Give me my cookies," he growled, glaring at you
>You tried to hold back your chuckle but couldn't quite manage it
"Your wish is my command, my love," you said
>Not breaking your hold from him you tossed the bag of cookies onto the table
>Both Aria and Sonata eyed the bag, grinning
>Your sisters, just like you, very much enjoyed teasing your mate
>Maybe even more than you did
>"Hey, Nonny, can I have a cookie?" Sonata asked
>"Yeah, give us a couple of cookies, Anon," Aria demanded, her smile wide and toothy
>Aria reached for the bag, but Anon, his eyes wide, quickly snatched it up
>"Both of you have your bags of cookies!" he barked, quickly tucking the bag into the back of your shirt. "You leave mine alone!"
>He tried to look at the two of them but you grabbed his face, pulling him into another kiss
>What a silly man...

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LAP OUT OF NOWHERE!

>>28977985
>This time your mate returned the kiss, though he didn't look very happy about it
>He fiddled with your shirt, slowly pulling his bag of cookies around so that they were sitting in between you
>Eyeing you warily, he reached into his bag and pulled out a little cookie and popped it into his mouth
"There you go," you cooed, nuzzling him again as he chewed
>"Don't you patronize me," he grumbled
>You and the other girls chuckled
>Reaching over, you grabbed a piece of pizza from your lunch box
"Sonata, pour me a cup of tea," you commanded
>"Okie dokie!" Sonata chirped, saluting
>As she did that, Anon gave you a little shove
>"Hey, get up for a second, I gotta use the bathroom."
>You wrapped your arms around his head, burying his face into your chest
"Say please," you cooed
>Anon, in fact, did not say please
>He instead bit down on your tit so hard that it would no doubt leave a mark
>You gasped, your knees knocking together
>You could feel both Sonata and Aria's gaze on you but you ignored it, trying your hardest not to moan
>Oh...
>Oh, you're going to GIVE IT to him when you all get home...
>HARD
>You wordlessly got up out of Anon's lap, trying to keep the blush from your face
>Whether you succeeded in that or not was moot because Anon didn't even look at you
>He simply got up, pocketed his cookies, and raced toward the bathroom
>You, Aria, and Sonata watched him as you sat down, rubbing your chest
>Sonata quietly placed a mug of hot tea in front of you
>"Nonny's probably going to eat all of those cookies in the bathroom again," she said
>You and Aria said nothing for a few moments before you both broke out into laughter
>The mental imagine of Anon sitting on a toilet, his pants past his knees, chewing on cookies was too much

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>>28978007
>You were going to have to have to tease him about that when he got--
>"Good afternoon, girls."
>You and the girls jumped
>Your heads swiveled around to see who just greeted you
>There, standing at the end of your table, with her hands behind her back, was Dean of Admissions herself, Ms. Cadence, and her "assistant" Mr. Armor
>How one of the most powerful women in the school district had suddenly appeared beside you was a mystery
>The three of you can hear FAR better than an actual human ca--
>"So, how have you three been doing, hmm?" the dean asked
>All three of you, despite yourselves, jumped again
"Oh, um, we're doing very well, ma'am," you said, trying to be as polite as you could
>While you'd usually tell a teacher off, this was the DEAN
>Unlike the principal, she could actually get you three into trouble if she wanted to
>If that happened people might ask questions about you
>Awkward questions
>Dangerous questions
>Questions that might force the three of you to do things that would let your true natures be shown
>And while they wouldn't have bothered you a few months ago, you now had a mate
>You, nor any of the girls, wanted him to experience what it felt like being chased from a country
>It wasn't a good feeling
>It was scary
>Very, very scary
>Especially now when the world was such a smaller place
>You looked at the girls, who nodded back at you in understanding
>"We're, um, doing great, Ms. Dean," Aria said, rubbing the back of her head
>"Yep!" Sonata chirped with a smile. "We're all doing fine!"
>As your packmate took a bite out of her pizza, you couldn't help but notice that the dean was eyeing the pie slice intently

>>28978023
>VERY intently
>"Good, that's good," she said, licking her lips. "It's always wonderful seeing students getting along."
>"Yes, and it's very nice to see that you three have calmed down somewhat," Shining Armor said with a smirk
>You and Aria chuckled nervously
"Yes... calmed down..."
>"Yep, we're as calm as could be."
>You need to get the two of them away from you
>If they stayed, either Sonata or Aria were going to say or do something stupid
>Think...
>Think...
>How do you get them to leave?...
>Sonata hummed as she took another bite out of her pizza
>You could see the dean's pupils dilate
>"Peetzer..." she muttered, taking a half-step toward your table
>You quickly looked at the pizza in Sonata's hands then back at the dean
>...
>You got it
>Reaching into your lunch box, you pulled out a piece of pizza
"You look hungry, ma'am," you said, all smiles. "Would you like--"
>Before you could finish your sentence, the dean snatched the pizza out of your hand
>You reeled back in surprise
>The dean, ignoring you, began eating the pizza like a woman possessed
>Her eyes were wide and wild
>Cheese and sauce was flying everywhere
>She was even making... noises
>Inhuman noises
>...
>What in the name of the deep blue sea was WRONG with this woman?!
>While both you and Aria watched on in horror, Mr. Armor smiled

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>>28978029
>"My Cadence and her pizza," he said, shaking his head
>His attention then turned toward the still steaming mug of tea that you had sitting in front of you
>You watched with some trepidation as a change overcame the man
>His body language became stiff and tense
>His pupils dilated and his mouth partially opened
>"Is... is that tea?" he asked, desire very clear in his tone
>You bit your lip, not wanting to say anything else so that you didn't further inflame... whatever this was
>What was this!?
>Sonata, the ditz, didn't notice the tension that was growing the air
>She smiled at Mr. Armor
>"Yep! Our Nonny made it for us this morning," she chirped. "He made all of the pizza last night too!"
>The dean let out a groan as she stuffed the last mouthful of pizza into her maw
>"Peetzer!" she moaned, reaching into your lunchbox and helping herself to another slice
>Your head snapped over to look at her incredulously
>While you did that, Mr. Armor, licking his lips, snatched up your tea and took a noisy sip
>Your head snapped back
"HEY!" you barked
>The assistant ignored you, closing his eyes while he took a long sip
>"Hmm... this is some bomb-ass tea," he muttered
>The dean let out another groan
>You found yourself rising from your seat
>Aria wasn't far behind you, yanking Sonata to her feet too
>Both the dean and Mr. Armor ignored you
>Ms. Cadence reached into Aria's lunch box and pulled out the rest of her pizza while Mr. Armor sat down and grabbed your thermos full of tea and helped himself to another cuppa

>>28978037
>...
>What...
>What's going on?!
>You and your packmates slowly moved away from the table
>You looked at both of them
>Aria looked just as confused as you, while Sonata looked upset that she had been pulled from the table
>Fucking Sonata...
>You, meanwhile, were wondering what to do
>Should you be angry?
>They WERE eating your food...
>Should you establish dominance?
>Maybe you should just leave?
>What kind of game were these two playing?
>You exhaled explosively through your nose
>It had been fifteen hundred years since you had been sent to this rock
>This might have been the first time that you were actually speechless...
>"Oh fucking hell..."
>You quickly whipped around
>There, standing behind you, as white as a sheet, was your mate
>His eyes were wide
>You could see his hands shaking
>The hairs on his arms and neck were standing on end
>He looked terrified, standing there frozen in place
>"T-They're here," he whispered, shaking. "Why the f-fuck are they here…?"
>A ripple of anger shot through your body
>Instinct began to take over
>Your mate was scared
>He felt threatened
>There was a threat in front of you
>You had to eliminate the threat so that he felt safe again
>Looking to your right, you could see Aria puffing up like a blowfish

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>>28978043
>Even Sonata tensed slightly
>You didn't know why the hell was going on but you were going to stop it with gratuitous violence
>A LOT of it!
>Both the dean and Shining, sensing that someone else was staring at them, looked up from their ill gotten gains
>Their gaze went toward Anon, who visibly stiffened
>"Oh look, dear," Mr. Armor said, dabbing his lip with a napkin that he had gotten from... somewhere. "It's the new student that joined the Canterlot family a few months ago. Anonymous, I believe."
>Your mate whimpered as the dean smiled, her eyes wide and slightly glassy
>"Anonymous," she murmured. "That's a pretty name. Hi Anon, I'm--"
>"NOPE!"
>His eyes wild, Anon darted over to you and the girls
>Faster than you eyes could follow he picked both Aria and Sonata and hoisted them up on his shoulders
>He then grabbed you by the back of your shirt with his teeth and lifted you into the air like you were a cub
"Anonymous!"
>"What the fuck are you doing dummy?!"
>"Weeeee!"
>Holding all of you closely, your mate raced out of the cafeteria as if hell hounds were nipping at his heels
>...
>What the hell did you walk into?

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>>28978052
>Be Dean Mi Amore Cadenza
>You were a happy girl
>It was a wonderful day outside, your workload had been relatively light today, and now you were eating peetzer
>Delicious, delicious peetzer
>The best and most important food known to animal, vegetable, or mineral
>Sitting beside you was the love of your life, Shiny poo, who appeared to be enjoying the tea that he was drinking
>"ANON! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!"
>"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
>"FASTER NONNY, FASTER!"
>Both you and Shiny--along with most of the students in the room-- watch as Anonymous raced out of the cafeteria with the dazzlings in tow
>Heh...
>What a silly young man...
>You turned toward Shiny
"How's the tea dear?" you asked, taking another bite out of your delicious peetzer
>Shiny nodded
>"It's wonderful," he said, taking another sip from the mug that the girls had been kind enough to leave you. "How's your pizza?"
>You licked your lips
"It's fantastic," you said, staring at Anonymous's back as he raced out the door toward the stairs. "You could tell that Mr. Anon put a lot of love into this peetzer."
>Shiny chuckled
>"He seems like an interesting young man doesn't he?" he asked
>"Anon! What are you doing?! Don't you--"
>Anonymous launched himself off the top of the stairs
>You could hear the Dazzlings screaming before they disappeared
>"YOU STUPID FUCK!" one of them roared
>You giggled again
>What did Ms. Dusk call him?
>Nonny?
>Humming to yourself, you rocked back and forth on your heels
>You didn't know why, but you liked this Anonymous
>This Nonny
>He seemed like he'd be a great friend
>A really, REALLY great friend
>You were going to have to get to know him a little better
>To learn how he makes this yummy peetzer if nothing else
>Stuffing some more of that sweet, sweet food into your mouth your groaned again
"Hmmm.... peetzer..."

>>28978058
Alright, I'm done.

>>28978058
a new challenger appears?

>>28978062
What the fuck?

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>>28978062
Winners don't do drugs LaP.

>>28978062
Should I be concerned?

>>28978062
Enjoyed it, especially references to your old stories and old memes.

>>28969822

>Anon gets together with Human Twilight
>When Horse Twilight comes to the EqG verse to try to bring him back, he makes a point of being extra affectionate to Human Twilight
>Horse Twilight gets jealous and assblasted
>Human Twilight never thought she'd know the feeling of cucking an alternate version of herself. She likes it.

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>>28976528
post yfw you live on a deathworld

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>>28977892
>we also have this thing called a cookie cutter shark.
>NO, Pinkie, it doesn't make cookies.
>it uses its ringlike jaws and many many rows of sharp teeth to bit neat round holes in other creatures while they're still alive.

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>>28978483

>>28977892
that pic gave me some feels.

>>28978062
That was really super cute. Until Cadence showed up, then it was super weird.

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>>28978483
>>28978526
Amazing.

>>28978523
>and dont even get me STARTED on NTD's!

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>>28978543
same

>>28978543
Why couldn't his spoider just stay and give him lots of drider babs?

>>28978797
>"National transit databases? whats so scary about those? there quite useful." asks the purp drank hoers

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>>28978880
>"National transit databases? whats so scary about those? there quite useful."
"shut up purp drank and let me show you what an NTD is in my world! starting with the worst one i know of, dracunculiasis!"
>pic related


>"NURSE, WHIMSY INCOMING!"

>>28968444
Checked.

>>28968444
trips determan that someone must write a story.

>>28978783
I think that was the point not to mention that this is the world were the memes are real and our resident Anon of EG world 3469 is well aware of the meme tendancies of both cantdance and Armorbombastic

I say good on him, now lets just hope that the duo doesn't try to intervene and steal the dazzling's mate away because of peetzer and bomb ass tea.

>>28977957
I feel like we have seen this start before.

>>28978062
Sooo, any reason it starts with the same cookie scene as the sunset one? I hope that one is still in the story. I'd love to see the consequences of Sunny's flirting.

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>>28978483

>>28978483
>deathworld

Something about this term has always bothered me.

Probably the fact that Earth (a "deathworld") can factually only be compared to all other known planets - which are by all accounts incapable of supporting life of any kind. Especially humans.
Earth is a lifeworld.

>>28977999
Uh...good scream digits?

>>28979520
There needs to be life to have death, where Equestria is full of life, Earth is full of death in comparison, or something.

>>28978029
Uh...is she Chrysalis or something?

>>28978037
What the fuck is going here, did Famine make a guest appearance?

>In Saddle Arabia, colts' sheaths are surgically removed for religious reasons
>In Equestria, stallionists harass and drive a mare to suicide after she makes a crude joke

>>28979519
wtf is that?

>>28979815
I believe a moose with the head of dead rival stuck on its horns. Fucked if I know why though.

>>28979827
Because he won, son. He won hard and took a trophy.
But in all seriousness, a fight over pussy probably ended up with them horn locked, and the looser dead.
I'd guess he kept struggling and pulling till he ripped the other ones head off, and now he gets a metal as fuck war trophy instead of getting to starve to death.

>>28979858
That was my first guess.

>>28976046
There was a Celtic anon?

>>28979955
He wrote a short one off, but I wonder where he went.

>>28979517
It's not the same scene, but I guess that starting another part with a similar cookie scene wan't the best idea.

>"Hey, did you hear about the thing that got summoned last night?"
>>"You mean the ape beast, right?"
>"Yeah, that one! Hey, did you see it? It was all dressed up nicely and stuff! Who in their right mind would dress a monkey up in a suit?"
>>"Beats me. At least we got some bits from the ring it had. I don't get why you're all concerned about what it's dressed in when it had a high-quality diamond with it."
>"I heard it started yelling and crying when the guards tried to take it away."
>>"Hmm. A toy, maybe?"

We need some sad RGRE stories.

>>28979795
>circumcision
>ever

how bout this instead.

>anon shaves cause fuck having a spiky face
>goes to buy a razor
>mare behind the counter and sells it to him giving him a weird look
>he shaves later that night, no nicks or anything
>everybody freaks out when they see him the next day
>shaving is the equivelent ti circumsision and is outlawed
>anon is thought to have grown up in a place worse then saddle arabia and needs to be freed

>>28980284
I'm all for different types of RGRE stories!

........But I think that paticular idea for a story would enrage me too much, I'd just want to kill everything.

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>>28980284
someone write that please

>Anon in RGREqG
>Keeps his body; isn't a 20-something in a teenager's body
>Works as a teacher (substitute teacher?) for the duration of his stay
>Has to explain several times to several different parties why blowing a teacher would be inappropriate

>>28980441
If Equestria is cool with me fuggin my students, I'd probably do it often. Just not in exchange for better test scores.
What grade(s) am I teaching in this scenario?

>>28980467
Kindergarden

>>28980478
In a high school? Derpy isn't retarded. just has a eye problem.

>>28980478
I'm fine with this.

>>28979520
The concept of a deathworld is that it's a life-bearing planet with extremely harsh conditions.
Earth as a deathworld comes from the idea that other inhabited planets in the universe are comparitively more peaceful and "kinder" than Earth - the gravity is lesser, they don't have diseases that can kill, none of the non-sapient/sentient animals are capable of killing the people that live there, and so on. That Earth is the odd planet out among the stars, and as such humanity is really fucking terrifying for coming from such a place.

Essentially, on those other planets, we'd be the equivalent of Superman, or some sort of eldritch monster. We think we're nothing special, not particularly durable, we feel our fleeting mortality so easily, because our planet is a freak accident that shouldn't have developed life on it in the first place.

>>28976576
That was the end? I mean I guess I don't care for it. A dragon waifu getting stabbed in the vagina for just thinking Anon was cute just makes me feel bad.

>Also, have I even earned this writefag name? Or am I just using one without Merit?

They're not badges of merit. They just exist to organize stuff honestly. If plan on writing often or continuing one story, it's nice for Anons who like your style so they can find more of your stuff.

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Bat pone continuing. As a forewarning, I actually didn't get to the lewd scenes like I thought I would. Sometimes the story gets out of my hands and I decide after the fact whether I like it or not. Tell me if you guys like the direction. PS: lewds are still in the plans, I just won't say when because apparently I don't even know.

http://pastebin.com/A81G7EAC

--

>Be Night Sky, the very grumpy and slightly hung over.

>You clenched your teeth as you sat in line with the other ranking Nightguard, cursing your luck.
>Of course today was a commemoration for a new ranking officer.
>OF COURSE.
>Sun-damned, ceremony happened in the middle of the day too, right when you’d been planning to get your beauty sleep.
>That reminds you, it was chest routine later.
>You’d doubled down to enhance your tuft because just maybe you were feeling a bit lacking there, unlike Moon Dusk.
>Your eyes slid over to her.
>She nodded off every so often, painfully ready to head back to bed.
>Her chest moved up and down as she breathed, tuft all fluffy and nice, without even sticking it out hardly…
>Perfect for nuzzling on cold winter nights…
>You blinked.
>Were you just thinking about nuzzling another mares tuft?

>A grumble to your other side broke you from your thoughts and you smacked the pony across the back of the head.

>“Nng! The fuck was that for Sky?” Blue shade whispered at you.

“Nobody needs to hear your belly aching,” you said back, keeping your voice low as Celestia continued her speech.
“We’re all tired and as hung over as Bacchus only knows, so just don’t make any noise or the Princess might set us to PT or something. Then you’ll really have something to grumble about.”

>She gave you a dirty look as massaged her head, but straightened up and looked forward.
“So where’s Umbra? She’ll get put through tartarus for not showing up today.”

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>>28980884
>You shrugged.
“I did what paperwork tricks I could on my end. This may come to bite her in the ass later, but hey, we did everything we could for her so she shouldn’t complain.”

>The honey colored mare being promoted stepped up to the pedestal as Celestia continued the slightly altered speech you’d heard a million times now.
>Another day pony by the looks of it, you thought with a yawn.
>They’d choose the Celestial guard like usual. Nightguard being present was just formality.

>Across the room, Scarlet Blaze stood at attention with an expression of motherly pride
>She looked over, apparently sensing your staring and frowned at you.
>Her voice echoed in your head, almost on reaction.
>”Do hellspawn have no pride? Stand up straight. You have no discipline. Why your kind are even allowed to serve is beyond me.”
>Blah blah blah.
>You crossed your eyes and stuck out your tongue, getting a rewarding, frustrated pout of her.
>That’s right, Scarlet, you sun-damned zealot cunt.
>You do what you want.

>Blue made a hum.
“Blue, what’d I just say?”

>“Shut up, I’m just thinking. Something’s odd about this mare.”

>You turned your tired eyes up at the dais.
>A rather not so curvy mare stood tall and proud in their gleaming armor.
>Their short and spiky sky white mane gleamed in the sunrise, looking like it had been recently treated to look a bit glossier for the occasion.
>Kinda looked like a stallion.
>Heh, she was probably a dyke.

>>>“And so,” Celestia said, “In light of your achievement, you may now choose your new regiment, Captain Vigilant Watch.
>Then the pony spoke, a deep baritone coming out and echoing across the chamber.
>Your eyes widened.
>No way…

>>“My liege, I formally request to join the Nightguard.”

“A colt?!”

>The room fell completely silent and all eyes pivoted toward you.
>Oh… well shit, you hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

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>>28980893
>>”Is there some sort of issue, Major Night Sky?” Celestia said. “May I remind you that we accept all kinds into our ranks, and Captain Dusk has passed all aptitude exams required.”
>You felt the blood fall from your face, despite Luna giving you a sympathetic smile.
>Tartarus yes, there was an issue!
>You weren’t going to babysit some milk drinking day pony, not to mention a colt.
>But you knew what Celestia had been trying to make things more diplomatic, and more equality focused this last decade.
>Stallionist influenced sun-damned… ughhhh.
>Equality your flank, this was bullshit!

“No, my princess,” you said with a bow. “I was merely surprised.”
>Lords of shadow, Luna please say something.
>There was pause, as Celestia seemed to scan the room, looking for any others who might have something to say about this.
>Luna stayed silent, much to your horror.

>>”Well then, Captain, enjoy your regiment orientation. I’ll be sure to follow up to make sure everything is going smoothly,” she said, looking toward you at the last part.
>The ceremony ended with nothing more than that, and the other majors, day and night guard, as well as nobles with their honor guards began milling out, murmuring about the stallion’s odd choice in regiment.
>You grumbled under your breath.

>Blue Shade smirked and slapped you on the back of the head.

--

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>>28980896
>Be Umbral Dream.
>You blinked awake, the world still blurry around you as your mind eased out of slumber land.
>A hiss escaped your throat as a splitting headache hit.
>You opted to lay down and close your eyes with a moan.

>As your brain throbbed in your skull, you couldn’t help but wonder what happened last night.
>You had met up with Night Sky, Moon Dusk, and Blue Shade to… do something.
>And then you got really excited yet really nervous for some reason.
>But now you’re home, and you had a dream about your dad carrying you there?
>And your dad, for some reason, put you in his bed and slept on the couch, so you had just wandered out in the middle of the night and curled up with him in the living room.
>You flicked an ear and grimaced.
>It was too early to think about this.
>You groaned to yourself and moved to get up when you noticed the faint sound of breathing behind you.
>Your eyes widened as you turned.
>There, just behind you, Anons chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, his arm wrapped around your barrel, hugging you tight to his torso.
>Your cheeks warmed as you realized with some embarrassment that you were his little spoon.
>That wasn’t a dream and that wasn’t your dad!
>Luna, you were actually cuddling with Anon right now.
>You didn’t do it did you?
>That would be really bad…

>You moved to get up, but paused.
>This position felt… surprisingly nice. Cozy really, rather than confining.
>It was hard to explain but his size and how he held you close made you feel safe, cared for even.
>His warmth and scent felt so close, so intimate.
>You bit your lip.
>Perhaps you could just… stay like this for a little while longer?
>You wiggled your flank back to snuggle up again before you had time to question yourself.

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>>28980903
>Anon inhaled sharply through his nose and stirred.
>A mix between a squeak and a screech came out of you as you twisted in his grip.
>You floundered to the side of the couch, hooves flailing, then toppled off and onto the floor
>You landed on your head with a thump, rump lying against the couch above you.

“Ow…”

>“Umbra…?”
>Anon peeked over the side at you, eyes squinting, hair in an adorable tumble.

>You stared back, your own eyes wide now, mouth a thin straight line.
>If only your tail were longer and came past your chest, you could maybe smother yourself with it.
”H-Hi, Anon. Um… come here oft—” the rest of your sentence died in your throat as a smile formed on his lips while he looked down.
>Your heart pumped like mad in your chest and your stomach felt like it was doing flips.
>No…
>That’s not fair!

>He reached a hand down and ruffled your bed mane.
>“You keep acting that cute and you’re going to give me a heart attack.”
>C-Cute?!
“You drink coffee? I can also whip us up something to eat if you want. You might be feeling under the weather for a bit after last night so I figure the least I could do is make you something greasy.”


>The pain seems to come back front and center, reminding you in your humiliated daze that you drank way too much last night.
>It mixed with the heat flooding through your face and chest, reminding you of spring fevers as a foal, staying home with your dad.
>A flicker of homesickness hits you as you remember your father’s cooking.
>You frown and shake away the thought.
>Was this really okay though?
>Anon shouldn’t have to cook for you.
>If anything, you should have to do something for him after he let you stay with him.
>Your stomach grumbled, clear in the silence.

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>>28980911
>Anon smiled and stepped around you.
>“I’ll take that as a yes then. But I do have one condition.”
>You tilted your head up at him, mouth slightly open.
>“I’d like some conversation, if that’s alright.”

>You blinked.
“That’s all? Why?”

>He shrugged and turned toward the kitchen.
“I just like you.”

--

>Be Night Sky.
>You found yourself in the hall of bloodlines, feeling twice as hung over as before.
>Moon Dusk had headed to bed after all the commotion this morning, but Blue Shade had decided to tag along.
>In front of you stood Vigilant Watch, his mouth pressed into a line, eyes straight ahead as he held at attention.
>You sighed.
>Might as well get the formalities over with.
>You could go to sleep and sulk later.

“Okay, Captain, today we’re going to skim through some of the history of the Nightguard. This isn’t like the regular guard regiment where they tell you just how to look pretty for the public, alright? We actually have a job to do, and it’s not easy. You up for the task?”

“Yes, Ma'am.”

“Be at ease. I don’t like the military stick-up-the-butt stuff. Also no Ma'am, it makes me feel like your mom. Major Sky works fine.”

>The colt relaxed, letting his shoulders sag a bit more and a brief smile cross his lips.

“So then,” you said, turning and walking down the hall of paintings and glass windows. You let your mind settle into the routine you’d done several times before. “Lineage?”

>”Like my… parents’ names?”

>You stopped walking and blinked owlishly.
“Oh that’s right. You’re not a bat mare. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything about that.”

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>>28980918
“He’s part of our regiment now,” Blue Shade said. “He’ll find out eventually, so might as well get it over with.”
>You hmm’ed and scrunched your muzzle.
>It didn’t feel right to talk about this with an outsider, but if he was going to be serving with the Nightguard, he had a right to know.
>He needed to be able to trust you.
>”Ehh… listen, colt. This might sound a little sketchy, mostly because the public doesn’t know a lot about it but—”

>>”They’re fiend blooded delinquents who have no place in the royal castle.”

>A grumble rose in your throat and you rolled your eyes at the newcomer.
>Her flashy crimson mane and yellow-gold coat were unmistakable even in the incandescent morning light, which made her almost seem to glow.

“Scarlet,” you said, “what might I owe this unwanted visit? If you’re looking for something to do, I’m sure there’s some stallion who needs help holding his shopping bags down at the market. Maybe after he’ll tell you you’ve been a good girl and give you a pat on the head, then you could go rub one out to the memory.”

>Scarlet blushed bright red and glared at you.
>>“Always count on a night-kin to keep their mind in the gutter and decry chivalry. There’s not a one of you in the Nightguard that as a shred of decorum and hono— STOP MOVING YOUR HOOF LIKE THAT’S ME TALKING AND MAKING THAT FACE!” she said with a stomp.

>You chuckled.
>Vigilant Watch cleared his throat and Scarlet Blaze flinched, looking like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on her.
>>“Ah, um, Vigilant. I came to try to persuade you to reconsider your regiment choice. I can keep you safe and give you a much more fitting position with the male honor guard, o-or you could, even work for me directly.”
>She trailed off, eyes sliding toward the floor and kicking a hoof out.
>Scarlet cleared her throat.
“Ah, but in any case, these devil-bloods are no company for a fine stallion like yourself.”

>>28980932
>Vigilant quirked an eyebrow at her and pursed his lips.
>>>“You keep calling them that—devil-bloods. I’ve heard some people sling ‘vampire spawn’ at bat ponies before, but not that. What is that about?”

>Scarlet schooled her features and gave a nod.
“I had hoped I could come here before they regaled you with their vile tales, but if I must, I’ll tell you the origins of what we call the bat pony. It all began in the age before the unification, where primordial magic rolled through the land. An age in which monsters and creature of the night roamed, and dark magic’s taint was still strong—”

“Demons raped some ponies a long time ago. The end.”

>Scarlet’s mouth dropped.
>She narrowed her eyes and worked to form words, only coming out with sounds of uppity outrage.
>That’s right little sunbutt. You ruined it.
>This was your orientation, and you’d do it however you pleased.
>Luna, you loved making her mad.

>>”L-Leave it to a bat pony to be so unbelievably crass and short-witted about their own history. It’s not right to go over such a topic with the fairer sex using such bluntness.”
>You belched and gave a shrug.
>Scarlet recoiled.
>”Ugh. Vigilant, please reconsider your choice… I want you by my side. You deserve to be safe and well, don’t you see that? I can’t stand you being in the hooves of these creatures.”

>Vigilant paused, then took a moment to glance around at all paintings and stained glass in the halls, looking at the depictions with a new perspective.
>You always imagined the actual events must have been a bit more… kinky.
>But since these were made for the castle, albeit a secluded wing, the royals took a few liberties in making the art more vague and interpretive.
>Honestly you would have just gone for full color graphic illustrations of mares and stallions all in the throws of passion with tentacled hellspawn, but jagged symbolism seemed to be all the rage nowadays.

>Still cloppable.

>>28980932
>>28980936
I missed a few > here on dialogue. I hope it's still clear, but both

>"“Ah, but in any case, these devil..."
>"“I had hoped I could come here before they regaled...."

are both said by Scarlet.

>>28980936
>>>”What does it matter?” Vigilant said. “They bear a few genetic remnants but they’re still essentially ponies like us.”

>Scarlet’s expression morphed from pleading to triumphant.
>She puffed out her chest and gestured to you and Blue.
>>”Oh? Why doesn’t the Major elaborate on that, mm?”

>Annoying little...
“Actually…” you said, “we do have quite a few differences in biology and, some think, personality. It all depends on our lineage, what we call bloodlines. Most of the ranking guard have higher percentages of fiend blood. And what type of quirk we have is determined by what our ancestors were screwed by or made pacts with.”

>>>”So… what kind of quirks do you have to deal with exactly?” he said, looking between you and Bluey.

>You hesitated, hoping Blue might go first.
>The painting of the inquisition age loomed just over your right shoulder, down the hall not more than a few paces—out of sight but not out of mind.
>You closed your eyes, focusing on your breathing.
>It had been a long time since then… but your mind never really forgot how you felt as a filly, on the run with your parents against hunters.
>Scarlet could bluster all she wanted and day ponies could give as many dirty looks as they pleased.
>But those memories always made you nervous.
>Telling someone what you were was telling them how to hurt you.
>It also changed how they looked at you.
>They’d start with the sparkle of wonder and curiosity, and would tell you it wouldn’t change how they felt about you… but you could see how they changed their stance, how they didn’t turn their back on you anymore…
>Scarlet’s vermillion eyes almost seemed to burn through you.
>She already knew.
>Vigil deserved to know.

>>28979520
Things from Mars that can kill you:
>Crushing gravity (for low gravity beings)
>Extreme temperatures (cold by Earth's standards
>Lack of an appropriate atmosphere.
>Sandstorms.

Things from Earth that can kill you.
>Crushing gravity (for low gravity beings)
>Extreme temperatures.
>Lack of a proper atmosphere.
>Sandstorms
>Sea storms
>Hurricanes
>Tornadoes
>Volcanic eruptions
>Earthquakes
>Tsunamis
>Landslides
>Falling flora.
>Intoxicating flora.
>Intoxicating fungi.
>Infectious fungi.
>Infectious bacteria.
>Infectious viruses.
>Predator fauna.
>Non-predator fauna.
>Natives
>Careless natives.
>Murderous natives.
>Idiotic natives.
...And many more, not including every single variation of the above.

>>28980947
>You opened your mouth and thought about blood.
>The smell… the pumping of hearts you knew you could hear, but trained yourself not to.
>Your canines and lower cuspids grew, from pointed teeth to sharp fangs, just big enough to still let you close your mouth without issue, but still intimidating to most.
>Vigil stepped back and you felt a twinge in your chest.
>No, that was fine, you thought.
>You don’t blame him.

>You let out a breath and spoke.
"I have five percent nosferatu bloodline. Every so many days, I and the other mares who have the same bloodline are handed synthesized blood substitutes. We also get a donation from blood banks during Hearth's Warming and other holidays. We can eat food and go out in the sun, but depending on our bloodline percent, it can make us feel uncomfortable or ill. At night we feel more energized and drinking real blood makes some of us stronger and clearer minded. We also live a bit longer.”

>He stared at you, eyes widened, while Scarlet gave a satisfied nod.
>You flattened your ears back and let your teeth go back to normal.
>Luna, colt, you gotta stare at me so hard… you thought.
>Just say you’re out of the night guard and leave if you want—nobody would blame you.

>>>“Wow… that’s so cool.”

“Huh?” you and Scarlet said in unison.
>Your cheeks tinted a light pink. “W-Whatever. It’s no big deal really,” you said, mostly to the floor.

>>>”No, really. I had no idea that you guys were all so different. Major Shade, what is your bloodline if you don’t mind me asking?”

>>28980951
>Blueys mouth moved into a thin line and she gave you a questioning look.
>“Um… Mine is Mörkö,” she said and paused, hoping to end it there, but Vigil waited eagerly.
>”It’s… an ice spirit of sorts that long ago lived in the forests to the north. They were more rampant in the time of Wendigos. It manifests as an affinity for cold spells in unicorn batmares and pegasi seem to be great with managing snow and ice. I have only three percent, so I can resist cold better, but I tend to just crave warmth, even if I don’t need it nearly as much. I can stand out in snow all night on watch, but I hate it for instance.”

>>>”Oh, what about—”

“Look, there are an awful lot of bat mares. Generally just know that about all of us have some general devil or imp in them if not something specific. That’s what some think is partly responsible for most bat ponies’ reputation for, uh…”

>>”Rawkus degeneracy and hedonism,” Scarlet said, taking a step forward.

“I would call it free spiritedness, but sure.” you said. “In any case, we’re still pretty much ponies when it comes down to it. We just have a few quirks to deal with. Hell, Umbra is pretty mild mannered, for one, despite her bloodline.”

>Vigilant pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side.
>>>”What bloodline does Major Umbra have?”

>Blue cleared her throat.
>You gave a forced smile and rubbed a forehoof.
>Poor Umbra wouldn’t be able to look this colt in the eye if he knew her lineage.
>Still…

“Vigil. Are you still sure about joining the Nightguard? I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. We’re not dangerous despite what some think.”

>”Debatable,” Scarlet said with a snort.

>>28980602
>"Soft" HFY
>Anon's senses are sharper than a ponies
>He can see further, smell fainter smells, and hear things more clearly
>Ponies in Ponyville can't see Canterlot on the mountains; Anon can
>Ponies make words on signs bigger to make up for poor vision
Doesn't need to be big, or even what I just posted. Maybe Anon has predator-species senses (hearing, sight, smell, etc) and ponies have prey-species senses.

>>28980962
>You gave her a look and continued.
“What I’m trying to say, is that I need to know if you’re set on this. If you’re going to serve here, you deserve to know who we are. We’ll be comrades, and that means a whole lot here. But trust goes both ways. Telling your bloodline is very personal and shows a lot of good faith. Can you assure me that you won’t use this to hurt any of our friends?”

>Vigil watched you, mouth slightly open and nodded lightly.
>He looked down, mulling it over for a moment.
>>>”Yeah. I can see where you’re coming from I think. But I wanted to serve here. My mark,” he said, pointing toward his depiction of a lantern, “tells me I’m to watch over and keep guard at night. I know I’m supposed to be here. And I know I want to help open up the Nightguard to not only non-bat ponies but also stallions. You can trust me, Major.”
>He saluted and brought his hooves in line, giving you the most earnest smile you ever saw.
>You suppressed a snurk.
>He was a dork, but a cute dork.
>Looking into his eyes and listening to his heart for signs of abnormality, you nothing amiss.
>You could trust him.
>Whether you’d enjoy babysitting him was another thing.

“She has twenty percent succubus.”

>Vigil blinked.
>>>“Really?”

“Yep, ‘fraid so. She has a lot of challenges because of it. She has to be careful with getting, uh, fluids, near other ponies. Succubi used to be masters of seduction and pleasure, and putting ponies into heat was just one innate trick they learned. Umbra does this without meaning to, even with sweat, spit, or blood. You can get a resistance to it but it doesn’t take much to get some ponies going.”

>>>”Huh… she probably sleeps around a lot, I imagine.”

>Bluey snorted and you jabbed her in the side.

>>28980948
Things from Mars that can kill you:
>being there

I rest my case.

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>>28980972
“The opposite actually. Umbra has been a bit afraid of her quirk ever since she was a filly. I don’t know why but, if I had one guess, I’d say it’s because she’s too kind. Umbra told me once that she hated the idea of forcing someone to do something so intimate.”
>You shrugged.
“Her words, not mine. In any case, her bloodline has made her skittish around stallions, and she never learned how to talk to them properly. Don’t take offense if she seems put off-ish. It’s just how she is.”

>”Alright, that’s enough obscene talk, thank you very much,” Scarlet said, and turned to Vigilant Watch. “Vigil, none of this particularly matters. I know it’s… interesting to you but I can tell you all about their kind after you come back to my post.”

>He frowned and swished his tail.
>Oh now you made the colt upset, Scarlet.
>Ya didn’t listen filly, and now you’re in for it.
>Vigilant Watch puffed up his cheeks and started going on about not wanting to be treated like he couldn’t do things on his own and blah blah blah...
>You turned on your heels and headed off down the bloodline hall, Blue following suit.
>Your bed was calling you, and you’d not ignore its sweet siren call any longer.

>Part of you wonders about how much sleep Umbra got last night.
>You made sure to get her an enchanted condom and everything, so she had everything in her court.
>She just couldn’t kiss him or she’d make Anon’s day a bit warmer than usual.
>Your tail twitched.

>Now that was a thought...

--

>>28980979
I'm really liking the world building on the night guard. Also, pure pure succubi are my weakness.

...have you read demichan wa karitai?

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>>28980979
That's the ending point for now. Tell me what you guys think. I'm curios as to how people feel about Scarlet and the new bloodlines plot point.

Also I don't know when I'll post next. I never know honestly, but I try to write every night. This story has priority over the Rainbow one, fyi.

PS: I'm really tired of selecting storefronts and streesigns.

>>28976589
It's good, I'm glad you used that prompt, but is the dragon dead? Or did anon just pop her cherry with his sword

>>28981013
i like your qt bat story

>>28981006
>demichan wa karitai
No, but I'm going to now to see what I can learn from it. I read Monster Musume but there aren't any ideas from that which I'll be using.

As a side note, I almost used Dullahan for one of the batmares. Would have been interesting to have accidentally picked the same three monsters from demichan wa karitai.

>>28981034
>Monster musume
My Nigger! That's the best
Horse pussy is best girl

>>28981013
Still pretty entertaining so far. Good writing and dialogue always makes for a good read.

>>28981013
I'm liking this a lot, and I think the bloodline bit is really interesting. As long as you don't end up doing anything too silly or snowflaky with it you'll be fine, but I honestly can't see that being a problem, you're pretty good.

>>28981013
I don't even care if you make it lewd or not, I just want more of this cuteness.

>>28981112
I would argue that but we are on /mlp/

>>28981013
I love this story. I wish there was more like this and less in-joke bullshit in the bat pone threads. I quite enjoy the bloodlines thing as long as you listen to >>28981362

Dont make it edgy and/or snowflakey or you will ruin it.

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>>28980962
>mörkö
Minun neekerini

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>>28980972
>“She has twenty percent succubus.”
[sweat dabbing intensifies]

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>>28975184
it would be weird for a crusader to try to get people to not convert.

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>>28979520
Mars will just kill you from hypothermia and carbon dioxide poisoning. easy to survive with life support systems.

Earth can kill you in an infinity of ways. mentioned by this anon.>>28979520

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>>28980478
fukken japs

>>28980977
not if you have life support, which if you traveled to mars from somewhere else without using magic you definetly have.

also, >no life

High Impact Holy Violence will have another part tommorow.

>One Step
>Two
>And with a single step of his feet
>Anon was lying down
>And so the little princress waited and waited--long after even the human had gone to sleep.
>Twilight waited and waited for what felt like a thousand years--for Anon, Her Anon, had promised he would wake up
>And Anon never broken a promise
>He promised us

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>>28981978
in reality anon actually fell asleep, poni are just really adhd and as such minutes are years for them

>>28981989
There was that one thing from months ago where pony lives are measured in months, and Anon's equivalent to a night's sleep lasts weeks to them.