RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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I want to dominate a marely mare who thought she was going to do the dominating.

>Villain Anon seduces one of the Mane 6, or they seduce him, in an attempt to turn the other to their side.

>Seduction?
>Critical Success!

>Turning them away from/into villainy?
>Not so much.

>They become obsessed with each other
>Try to have a relationship anyway
>Are continually trying to reform/corrupt each other.

>It's not a secret
>Everyone knows
>Even had they tried to keep it a secret, it's blatantly obvious to everyone else what's going on.

>>28944332
Careful mate, even hinting at dominance on this thread will get you screamed at by an army of autistic anons.

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>Be Anon
>But not just any Anon, you're officially Dr. Anon now
>Or at least thats what you tell yourself when the application to work at the horsepital is accepted
>You thought your rank would be intern or nurse at best, but when you arrived they declared you a doctor
>You don't even have a PHD
>Excitment at your new title quickly turns to worry
>What if one of them comes in with a serious disease
>What if you're asked to heal them, what if a tiny horse dies at your hands
>you dont know how their tiny pastel bodies work, how would you assess them
>The pager you were given starts beeping
>PLEASE REPORT TO NURSE REDHEART IMMEDIATELY IN ROOM B4
>Not wanting to delay when cute ponies are in need you quickly run to Redheart, maybe she can help you through this
>Arriving in the room you see an agonized pony on the bed with Redheart standing beside them
"Oh shit what happened?"
>Her look is grim "So you're the new colt doctor, sorry to say but if youre going to start working here cases like this are going to be common."
>You've been a doctor less than a day and already a pony is suffering under your not so vigilant watch
>You need to tell them the truth
"Look I don't know how I got this job but I have no idea how ponies work, I can't operate or do surgery!"
>"Operate? Surgery? We'd never allow a doctor to do something like that, especially a stallion. That's a nurses job."
>Your fear fades away for just a second as you try and process this but are snapped out of it as the pony on the table groans again
>You look to Redheart
"Well? Are you going to do something to help them?"
>"I'm sorry, looking at this must be hard for a colt. But there's nothing we can do for her. No magic can heal this." she sighs
>Does it have a disease, maybe this world isn't as cute as it seemed
"How serious is it?"
>"Fairly bad, this is probably the worst case of shampoo in the eye we've seen this week. It's probably going to sting for like a whole hour."
>Be Anon now out the door, you fucking quit

>>28944621
>Shampoo in the eyes
>Is she fucking with you right now?
>You know what? Fuck it.
>Going over the the sink in the corner you fill up a cup with water.
>Redheart watches your every move as you walk back to the gurney with the pained pony.
>Slowly tilting the ponys head back you explain.
"It's going to be okay, I'm just going to give you a quick rinse which will make it all better. But you have to try to keep your eyes open so we can get the shampoo out."
>Despite the whimpers the pony follows your guidance.
>All in all you helped a hurting pony.
>Redheart however was at a loss for words.
>You would never know but at that moment she decided you would be the father of her foals.
>Whether you liked it or not.
>After all, competent stallions were her fetish.

Thread needs more Green, but this is not a delivery of my earlier promise, this is just some unedited work I shat out. It's bittersweet and silly in my honest opnion. Utter shit, if we're being objective.

>You are Crusader Anon.
>Deus Vult.
>The local queen, (the title princess be damned with as much power as she had) had granted you land and built you a nice homestead.
>You could fit in and maneuver perfectly in it, but oddly enough they seemed to have built it to fit Anna as well.
>Currently your horse was constructing a stable for you.
>You would be doing it yourself, but she won't let you near the tool box.
>It's kind of hard to get through all of the actual ton of muscle that is the mare.
>So you sit on the porch of your custom made home and sip some tea from your “Saracen Tears” Mug.
>Your feet kicked up and your mailed sleeves rolled up slightly, you sign in contentment.
>Maybe this place wasn't the hell that you thought it was.
>Maybe God just does this for laughs, but it never really hurts you.
>Maybe you're just acting like a godless heathen.
>You may never know.
>”Ow! Anon! Why are we building this?” She questions while nursing the hoof that she just pounded with a hammer.
“Reasons, reasons God only knows, infidel.”
>You take a long drawn out sip of your mug, the black liquid inside pouring through the small breathing slots on your great helm and into your mouth.
>You were damn proud of that skill.
>It took you four years to perfect.
>”Anon, what are we even going to put in this stable?”
>You don't even deign to answer her as you stare off into the local everfree forest.
>Life is good.

>>28944721
>You are Applejack.
>Y’all see that Anon has put that big ‘ol lug of a mare to use.
>The way she's workin’ you’d bet half of yer farm that she's dickwhipped.
>Y’all could relate, every mare goes through it at least one in ‘er lifetime.
>Anon is sittin’ on his porch, sipping somethin’ from a mug that had odd hue-man scribbles on tha sides.
>Anon always seemed set in his Morals, even if he was a bit of a radical TomFilly.
>Y’all could respect his dedication to his lord, some fella named God.
>Y’all turn your attention back to Anna.
>Y’all have been wantin’ to hire her up on yer farm, but she’s been unapproachable what with her constant attachment to Anon.
>Y’all even offered 10 bits an hour, and outrageous sum.

>>28944726

>You are Crusader Anon again.
>You set your mug down on the end table next to you.
>You can see Orange serf pone, the one that farmed apples, not carrots.
>She had approached your horse with a job offer, and you were about to chase her off, that was your unskilled labour, damnit!
>Luckily, Anna had the good sense to say that she couldn't leave ‘her man’ alone in good conscious.
>The wording was strange, but hey, you owned the mare, at least she recognized that.
>You sign in boredom, the small pony was stuck in mid step and seemed to be deep in thought.
>Deep thought was usually bad in serfs.
>She was on the edge of your rightfully granted property, though.
>You could run her off.
>Which you are totally going to do.
>You stand with a flourish and draw your sword across your currasse.
>You draw in a very loud breath and widen your stance.
“NON NOBIS DOMINE!”
>You break into a run at the invader on your property.
“PRO PAPA!”
>She breaks out of her reverie with a start, nearly tripping.
>She glances around quickly before bolting up and away from you.
>”Put the sword away, Anawn, you could hurt someone with that!”
>This silly pony still won't recognize the fact that you had spent the last 15 years of your life fighting through the hot Sands of Israel to purge the holy lands of all that were not worthy.
>These equines were in denial.
>”Anon! What are you doing!? Don't approach strange mares!”
>Anna seems to have noticed your sheer hatred from halfway across the property.
>Or maybe the shouting.
“NO! The Heathen must know her place!”
>You continue your fateful charge, running the small horse off your property and into a nearby lake.
>You raise your sword and release a victory cry.
>”Anon! Are you alright? I heard a splash and thought that mare had thrown you into the lake.”
>She skids to a halt, throwing up a dust cloud around you.
>In a moment she's wrapped around your body in what seems to be a hug, or a possessive hold.

>>28944736
>>Hours later.

>”Anon, I finished the Stable!”
>You raise from your position on the couch and put down the sword oils in your grip.
>You stalk out of the house and stop on the front steps of the house.
>Wow. It actually looks well made, and dare you say, perfect.
>Though nothing was perfect on God’s green earth since Jesus.
>Anna shifts from hoof to hoof, making a peculiar clipping sound.
>She whinnies in hope for your affection.
>You clap a hand onto her neck and rub it slowly.
>She pushes into your hand and ends up shifting to nuzzling the side of your helmet.
>Just like the old times.
>A silent, manly tear leaks from your eye at the memories of the thousands of dead saracens.
“It’s good.”
>Her Nickers pick up and you almost feel a tinge of sadness as what you were about to do.
>Almost.
“Grab your things, this is your new home. It’ll teach you to stop getting in my bed, horse.”
>The happy horse sounds stop all of a sudden and she shrinks back from your hand.
>”What?”
>Her head bows and her ears slide back.
>”B-but-”
“This is what happens.”
>You walk back into the house without another word.
>An abject sad form follows you in.

>Le Time skip.

>>28944739
>Be Twilight SPACKLE.
>You were going to drop by Anon’s house in hope of sequestration of a date.
>You sort of always had a thing for tomfillies.
>And tartarus, he met your standards and then some.
>You reach the edge of town, you were iffy on letting them settle here, but with how big Anna was, you wouldn't doubt in their safety.
>You get within sight of Anon’s house and notice another building off to the side.
>That was new.
>And Anna was sleeping in it.
>You cringe at the thought of what the giant mare could have done to be put into the dog house /this/ hard.
>Maybe you’d come back later.
>You do an about face and go back to the castle.

>[Overused time skip intensifies.]

>You are Crusader Anon, and there's a loud bang on the door.
>You throw the covers off of yourself and sit up.
>You were prepared for this.
>You put on your slippers over your maile boots.
>You always knew that the saracens would invade at night.
>You grab your sword from its place on the bed.
>Rushing down the stairs you kick open the door, and fail, because the door swings inside.
>You open the door and slowly poke your head out of the slight crack.
“Deus Vult, infidels?”
>Instead, you find your devoted horse.
>Her lower lip quivers and her eyes sparkle as she looks down on you.
>”It was getting cold outside, and I was wondering if you'd give me another blanket.”
>Your dead, nonexistent heart, torn out in the battle of San Saladin, twinges.
>You sign and step aside.
“No sleeping on the bed.”
>Damn, you were getting too soft.
>”Yay.” She wraps you in a weird horse neck hug.
>You break it off and trudge back to your bed, taking off your slippers in the process.
>You feel like you'd regret this decision later.

>After a few hours, you can feel her crawl into the bed next to you.
>You sign and turn away from her.
>Too soft, Anon.

Look at my abject shit, look at it and cry.

>>28944743
I like it Anon.

>>28944743
I like how anon is always, ALWAYS in armer.
For all there know there might not be an anon in it, he could just be magically animated armer

>>28944743
Anna needs more love

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So fellow anons how do we get the writefags to come back?

I tried flirting with them, and i doubt threats will work.
Any ideas?

Its simple really: We kill the Propeller

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>>28944332
I'm actually working on that now, but if anyone wants to write it, do it, cuz I'd read it.

Also wanted to mention to the thread that because of turkey day and the thread speed when arguing happens, I saw that I'd miss last thread, but I'll be able to put something down for this one. I have 2K so far and there are a few scenes I need to fit together still. Also I expected to get to lewd bits, but as I worked I ended up doing something different, so lewd will come but not next time I post.

>>28944973
excite

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>>28944973
He lovingly and tenderly dominates her, right?

>>28944721
>You are Crusader Anon.
>Deus Vult.
>The local queen, (the title princess be damned with as much power as she had) had granted you land and built you a nice homestead.
>Crusader Anon not DEUS VULTing the Godless heathens
Stopped reading there. Its shit, mate.

>>28944736
>>You sign in boredom
>sign
You keep doing this, it's 'sigh.'

>>28945009
I don't want to spoil it, but neither do I know exactly what I"m going to do. The only thing I can say is that I'm not going to 180 my current story tone. Cute is something I strive for, and I don't find pain or sadism cute.

>>28944743
>>You sign and turn away from her.
>You sign
SIGH.

>>28945117
>>28945137

I probably should edit it before posting.

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>>28945130
EXCELLENT.

>>28944743
You completed my request!

I'm so pleased by this!

>>28945166

Sorry for the delay, bby.

>>28945178
It's no problem hun, you more than made up for it.

>>28945186
By the way, I take requests in order, so 3 more, you can give me more if you'd like.

>>28945194
Can I ask what you're unwilling to do?

>>28945263
Not much, I'll say what I won't do if it's sugested.

That dadnon thing had me thinking: A golf outfit with its long socks and shorts with only a small strip of flesh visable in between is super risqué for ponies.
>Anon builds and develops a golf course on his own
>The ponies think he is merely gardening and beautifying the landscape, a very coltish profession common in equestria.
>then he waks out in full golf gear, sweatervest, long shorts, and long socks, and word gets around after a few games that a colt is playing some game dressed in a outfit only seen in playmare magazines.

>>28944965
This, and the Propeller's assistant, Discord Chat get rid of these two things and we should be golden.

>>28944460
Kek, this sounds like something that could be fun.

>>28944460
I like it. I'd write it if I wasn't working on something else.

>>28945371
whatchya workin on senpai

>>28945389
I'm not a new writer. I'm just not throwing on my trip just to say I'm too busy.

>>28945286
Anon finds some bandits, who of course don't think much of the dreadfully whimsical stallion.....until he decapitates one of them.

Shenanigans ensue once the ponies see Anon covered in blood.

>>28945443
Brutal.

>>28945443
But avast, it's too edgyzzz. (It'll go on the block.)

>>28945294
Would be super kinky, like lingerie football.

>>28944739
>“Grab your things, this is your new home. It’ll teach you to stop getting in my bed, horse.”
Shit, it's like having your kid choose the switch you're going to beat them with.

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>>28945558
I know that fucking feel

>>28945362
Holy fuck anon, let it go.

>>28945739
Never, fuck Discord chat to death.

>>28944650
Nice.

>>28945451
I dunno, it sounds about as edgy as a hammer to me.

I guess it would depend on how "real" the killing gets.

>>28945765
>Be Anon in Equestria except there are ponified versions of all sorts of technology things like browser ponies and that stuff.
>You go out into the town because you feel like going out.
>There's a nightclub which looks interesting.
>You go in.
>Inside there are lots of ponies dancing.
>You dance along.
>One of the dancing ponies dances over to you.
>"Hey babe, lookin' for a good time?"
"Yes."
>"I'm Discord, how about we go somewhere a bit more private?"
>Wait isn't Discord that guy who lives with Fluttershy?
>You go with her to a quieter area of the club
"Are you that guy who lives with Fluttershy?"
>"Nah, that's Discord the lord of chaos. I'm Discord the chat service."
>You sit down with her.
>She gets all close and makes out with you or something.
>The she unzips your pants and grabs your donger.
>The ponified chat app rubs at your member until it gets nice and turgid.
>Then she sticks it in her cunt.
>You fuck her.
>And cum in her candyvag.
>Unfortunately for her your semen is deadly poison to ponies.
>She begins coughing and gasping.
>Then Discord falls over onto the floor.
>Blood is coming out her eyes and she is clearly in lots of pain, but cannot scream because of the trouble she is having breathing.
>Other ponies begin to notice this and try to help.
>She is dead before the ambulance ponies arrive.
>This is very distressing to you and you end up needing psychological help.
>You go to the horsepital every Wednesday for counselling.
>Remember to wear a condom.

>>28946006
Don't like condoms, but am satisfied with the outcome, pun intended, now we just need to get rid of the real one.

>You are Saxon Anon
>You're a proud follower of the old ways, no matter what the Frankish bastards say
>Let them deus vult, your walls are strong and your sword is sharp
>Sure, they've destroyed every pagan stronghold from Verdun to irmunsul, but you knew you still had a chance to win
>At least, until you drank that mead laced with wormwood
>They said it would make you a better warrior, and why would a group of Christian monks lie?
>Well, apparently they did, because you passed out and woke up in a world of tiny horses
>You may or may not have freaked out and slashed a bunch of them, thinking them some sort of evil spirits
>But let's not dwell on that
>The big white horse (Who assures you that she's definitely NOT Sleipnir) (You still have your doubts) has asked you to meet her student, a small purple horse, at a restaurant in the middle of Canterlot

>You are Twilight Sparkle, and you think you're in love
>The stallion standing before you is tall, rugged, handsome, a little bit hairy-
>What? You like a little hair on your colts! Buck Coltmo and their narrow standards of beauty
>He's even dressed like he just stepped out of a renneighsance fair, with a chain shirt, leather pants, and-
>Luna's saggy crotchtits, he's wearing /socks/
>...Perfect...

>You are Saxon Anon, and the purple horse appears to be possessed by some spirit
>She's just standing next to the table, smiling at you in the creepiest way possible
>There's a strange smacking noise, but it doesn't seem to be coming from her mouth
>And all the small horses are staring at her
>Wotan's eye, you just want to black out on mead, and hopefully wake up back home
>Chief Wittekind is probably furious at your absence already

>>28944743
MOAR

>>28944965
>>28945362
>>28945739
>>28945765
not story or heavily thread related so spoiler the whole thing

For one, what we need to do is get that autistic piece of shit off the thread, you know the one, any hint of non kinder pony and the fucker goes ape shit, likely the same person who bitches the people who wrote for other threads away.
Learn to fucking block a story or skip passed something you don't like, look at frosty who basicly fucked off from thread because of how much people bitched them away with what they wanted to write/tell, and when they came back to finish a story, bitched them away again. for fuck sake skip what you don't like.
As for the discord chat, seriously, when has talking about a story in any form of detail ever went well? has it ever ONCE happened to go more the 20 posts of brainstorming before the mob/autist pops in to kill all enthusiasm for a story? You literally can not come up with ideas in thread without getting bitched the fuck out. I honestly can't blame them for the chat, its largely our/that autists fault they needed to make it in the first place.

The long and short, the thread is unfixable short of murder, and the writers went somewhere else so they don't have to deal with us till the story is done and ready to post.

>>28946089
I like this thing, moar please.

>>28946348
On a lighter note, we're also smack dab in the middle of the 'big three' holiday months. Christmas is right around the corner. Not all the writefags are in holiday-observing places of course, but I am, and I've definitely had some shifts in priority and interest lately. That isn't to say I wouldn't, like, make a Hearth's Warming thing for the season, but there ya' go.

>>28946518
I just ignored this guy>>28946348
I kinda figured those of pure heart that stayed out of the Discord had holiday shit to do anyways.

>>28946348
Too bad going straight into an echo chamber to avoid dickheads being stupid means content drifts from what people might like and you end up with more dickheads bitching as well as regular people who don't like the newer contents direction bitching.

>>28946555
And thus the Ouroboros is born.

>>28946089
>Luna's saggy crotchtits
Poor Luna, she really has a shitty reputation.

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Alright, here's the last chapter of the Celestia thing

>>28946729

>It was a normal weekend in Bonbon’s Candy Emporium. The air was thick with sugar and fudge. Every inch of the store was brightly and tastefully lit. The wooden stands and tables had been polished to a shining hue. All throughout the store, candies of all sizes, shapes, and flavors. Many of these sweet, delicious treats had been made either that day or the day before, and while neither Bonbon or Anonymous considered themselves candy presenters, everything had been set up in a way that caught the eye.

>As usual, the store was packed with ponies. There were ponies that either had just gotten off work or were on their break and wanted something sweet to nibble on. Haggard parents were chasing after their bright-eyed child or—lord help them—children, trying to make sure that they didn’t break anything [i]too[/i] expensive. The die-hard candy addicts were also there, eyeing the store’s continuously running ovens in the hope that their favorites were nearly done.

>The laughter of children, the chatter of ponies, the happy groan as some mare or stallion popped a candy in their mouths and Bonbon’s immediate bark of “No free samples!” was thick in the air.

>It was a hectic time. What with the taffy and all of the customers and everything else, both Anon and Bonbon had been running ragged.

>They had been running around every which way in the store. Both of their aprons were filthy, covered in sugar and cream and a million other things. Twice Bonbon had been forced to throw ponies out because of fighting over candy. Anon had accidentally burned himself with boiling sugar, something which had amused the kids that had been watching him so much that they had all fallen over laughing.

>Neither had gotten a break, and it was doubtful that either would get more than a five-minute break. And the two couldn’t be happier about it.

>“Get a move on, Anon. You said that you could do this.”

>>28946740

“I said that I could do as much as [i]you[/i], Bonnie. This is twice as much.”

>“Hey now, don’t you go and start complaining! You were the one that wanted to be a big stallion today. So suck it up and work that taffy.”

>Anon, covered in flour and sugar and peppermint, rolled his eyes.

>For the last half an hour he had been pulling taffy on a metal hook that Bonbon had at the back of the store and [i]boy[/i] could he feel it. His forearms were screaming in protest and he could barely lift his arms. He was also breathing hard as sweat dripped from his face.

>Usually, taffy pulling only took ten minutes at the most, but, because Bonbon [i]always[/i] made way too much of the stuff on the weekends, he was handling so much at the moment that he’d probably be working it for another twenty minutes. This was a problem because every few minutes he was forced to put the taffy back into the heating table so that it wouldn’t become hard and useless, which only served to make the whole process even longer.

“Oh, I’ll suck it up alright,” he grumbled, tossing the taffy onto the hook and pulling on the ends with all of his might. “Hey, can I put the bubble gum extract on this stuff yet?”

>Bonbon—wearing her usual apron and white cap—poked her head up from underneath the counter. Looking over at him, she frowned. “Not yet,” she grumbled, producing a tray of fudge and tossing it onto a cooling rack. “You need to keep pulling it until it’s soft.”

“It’s taffy, Bonnie. It’s not going to get any softer than this.”

>“Hey, who’s the candy maker here?” she demanded, her trademark scowl on her face.

“Some chubby little earth pony that sucks on saltlicks when she thinks that ponies aren’t looking,” Anon smartly fired, folding the taffy onto itself before pulling on it again.

>Bonbon’s eyes narrowed, her tongue poking at her cheek. “…You watch yourself, mister.”

>>28946729
Cool, will read when I wake up.

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>>28946750

The human couldn’t help but smile. “I love you too, ‘Bon.”

>“Mister Anon! Mister Anon!”

>Anon, still pulling on the taffy with all of his might, looked over the glass-covered counter that separated their workplace from the shop floor. A group of foals, the oldest being no more than ten years old, were all propped up against the counter, their muzzles smooshed against the glass as they watched him work. He knew each of the children by sight. Every single weekend they would come into the store, poke around at all of the candy, and beg for free treats.

“Hey munchkins, get your snoozles off that glass,” he told them. “Ponies have been rubbing their dirty hooves over it all morning and I don’t want any of you getting sick.”

>The foals—three fillies and a colt—did as he asked, though they continued to prop themselves up against the counter.

>“Mister Anon! Mister Anon! Are you making taffy?” a pink earth pony with pretty golden braided hair chirped. “Can we try some?”

>Bonbon, who was taking bits from a portly unicorn, frowned. “No free samples!” she barked from halfway across the room.

>As always, the children paid her no mind, focusing their efforts on the human.

>“Yeah, can we try some taffy please?” another asked as her tongue wiggled around in the gap of her two front teeth. “We really wanna try some taffy!”

>“Yeah! Taffy’s good!”

>“I like taffy!”

>Anon, chuckling to himself, pulled the taffy from the hook and carried it over to one of the store’s many heating tables. The children, their tails wagging back and forth in excitement, followed him with their eyes.

>>28946769

“You want taffy?” he asked, already wise to the foal’s tricks. “What the heck do you guys want taffy for? That’s a big pony candy.”

>As he knew they would, the children puffed up.

>“Hey! We’re big ponies!” One of the fillies shouted, her voice cracking.

>“Yeah!” another shouted, playing with her pigtail. “We all got our cutiemarks and everything!”

>“Come on, Mister Anon,” the little colt said, sticking out a lower lip. “Let us have some. Please.”

Anon chuckled again as he dropped the taffy onto the table with a thud. “Are you sure that you want some?” he teasingly asked. “You don’t even know what flavor it’s going to be.”

>“We do to!” one of the fillies squeaked. “We heard you talking with Bonbon!”

>“Yeah! She said you were making bubble gum taffy!”

>“We wanna try some!”

>“Yeah! I like bubble gum!”

>“Let us have a bit, Mister Anon!”

>“Anon! I swear to Celestia if I catch you giving out free samples again I’m going to dock your pay!” Bonbon threatened, staring at him with a scrunched-up muzzle.

Reaching under the counter, Anon pulled out a small vial of bubble gum extract. “You will not!” he called back.

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>>28946783

>“Don’t you try me, colt. And don’t you put that extract on the taffy yet! You still need to pull it for a while longer!”

Rudely gesturing to his boss—something which, thankfully, went over the kids’ heads— he opened the vial and poured a dash of the concentrated bubble gum flavor onto the taffy. “It’ll be fine,” he assured. “It doesn’t need to be on that stupid hook for half the day, candy butt.”

>Bonbon snorted, hoofing a mare an extra-large lollipop. “If you mess up that taffy its [i]absolutely[/i] coming out of your pay, Anon.”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya,” the human answered, picking up the taffy. Before he made his way over to the hook, he looked over at the kids and winked. “Give me a couple of minutes, munchkins. After I’m done with this I’ll make sure each of you get a little something.”

>As he walked away the children quietly cheered, as they always did when they managed to “trick” him into giving them free candy.

Walking over to the hook, he placed the big, sticky glob of taffy right onto it. “Alright you big bitch,” he muttered, taking a moment to take out his sore hands and tired shoulders. “Just a little more and you’re done.”

>Though tired, Anonymous took to the task ahead of him like a man possessed, pulling and twisting the taffy. While he might have been just about done, he had to be careful.

>This was the most important step in making taffy. If he didn’t make sure that the extract was put evenly throughout the mass of starch and sugar it wouldn’t be fit to sell.

>As he worked, the bell on the door jingled, signaling that someone had just entered the store, though he didn’t pay it much mind.

>>28946792

>With each pull the room seemed to grow quieter and quieter. The laughing, the chattering, Bonbon’s yelling and thinly veiled threats, all of it—oddly enough—seemed to disappear until a quiet hush had come over the entire store.

>As busy as he was, Anon didn’t notice until he pulled the now pink taffy from the hook and carried it over to a cooling rack, where it would be cut up and packaged.

“Hey Bonbon! Do you know if we have any of those cookie sheet bag thingies? I know that you want to use the plastic ones but…”

>He trailed off as he finally noticed the eerie silence. Letting the taffy drop to the table and wiping his dirty hands on his apron, he looked out onto the floor.

>Every single pony, from mare to stallion to foal, had their heads bowed low. The entire store seemed brighter, as if the sun itself were purposefully bathing the big room in its sunlight.

>A mare was standing in the middle of the store. This mare towered over every single pony. Her mane and tail floated through the air as if caught up in some unfelt breeze. A crown adorned her head, and her horseshoes were forged from the finest gold. Her head was held up high and there was a smile on her face. On either side of her stood two guards, their spears at the ready and their eyes warily scanning the crowd.

>Princess Celestia, First of Her Name, Princess of Equestria, Lady of the Sun, took a deep breath. “My, my, everything looks and smells wonderful,” she said, cutting through the silence like the sun cut through darkness. “It feels as though I am… well, a filly in a candy store, and a very nice one at that.”

>Celestia’s steps were smooth and graceful as she made her way over to Bonbon, who was bowing like all of the rest. Stopping a few feet in front of her, she politely coughed.

>“Please, my little ponies, there is no need for formality,” she insisted, looking around the room. “You need not bow on my account. Please, please, rise. All of you.”

>>28946800

>Slowly but surely, every pony in the store rose, looking upon the alicorn in both warmth and wonder. Celestia smiled at each and every one of them before turning her attention back toward the candy mare.

>“I had heard that you opened up a candy shop, Sweetie Drops,” she said. “But I did not expect it to be as opulent and successful as this. You’ve seem to have done very well for yourself, my little pony.”

>Oddly enough, Bonbon looked uncomfortable from the praise. “I, um, thank you very much, your highness,” she said, her eyes nervously scanning the room as she dipped her head respectfully. “And it’s [i]Bonbon[/i], your grace. [i]Bonbon[/i]”

>The princess looked confused for a few moments, before her eyes widened. “Oh, my apologizes, [i]Bonbon[/i],” she said with a wink. “An old mare like myself never can remember names.”

>To the confusion of the crowd, Bonbon began to sweat. “I-It’s not a problem, your majesty,” she said, bowing again.

>Celestia inclined her head in turn. “Would Anon happen to be working today?” she asked. “I stopped at his house but he wasn’t there, so I assumed—”

“Celestia?” Anon called from across the store.

>The second that his voice carried to her ears, a change overcame the princess. She perked up, her eyes widened. The smile on her face grew three sizes. Her massive, beautiful white wings extended slightly. Behind her, the sun seemed to glow brighter.

>“My little human,” she said, with a warmth that made the whole room smile. “It has been far too long. I’ve missed you.”

“You saw me not that long ago,” Anon teased.

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>>28946808

>Celestia took a step toward him. “A day without seeing you feels like a lifetime, my lord,” she said with absolute sincerity. “The castle has been a dark, lonely place without your radiance to brighten it."

The human chuckled, reddening slightly. “Easy there with the Shakespeare, hon,” he said. “Like I told you, I just need to wait until Bonnie here finds someone to fill my position. I’ll be up in that big ol’ castle with you before you know it.”

>“I will count the days until your light brightens up the darkness of the castle halls,” the princess proclaimed bowing her head. She then looked back over at Bonbon. “Ms. Swee—Bonbon, would it be alright if I borrowed your worker for a few moments? I have something very important to tell him.”

>Bonbon, still eyeing every single mare and stallion in the room, nodded. “Yes, of course your highness, he’s due for a break anyway.”

>“Thank you very much,” Celestia said with an inclination of the head. “Anonymous? Could you please come over here?”

>The room was silent as the two looked at each other. Nothing was said, but if you would have looked into the two’s eyes, you would have known that no words needed to be said.

>Hopping over the counter, Anon made his way over to the princess. Celestia, clearly restraining herself, made her way toward him. The two met in the middle of the store, between a table full of cookies and a stand that housed dozens of chocolate figures.

>Anon leaned down while the princess leaned up. Hooves and arms intertwined. The human’s face found its place against the alicorn’s chest. Humming, Celestia rested her head on top of his and extended her wings, wrapping them around him. The two sighed, holding each other close and enjoying the closeness, their mingling scents, and the warmth that only came from hugging the one that you cared about.

>>28946814

>Minutes ticked by as the two just stood there and held each other. Bonbon, the shop’s patrons, even the guards were completely silent, just watching the two.

>There had been rumors about what had happened between the human and the alicorn, whispers of last hopes and the desire for children, but many had just waved it off as gossip. It seemed, however, that it might have been a good deal more than that.

Anon was the one to break this silence. “So… Twilight told me the other day that you had an appointment with a doctor.”

>The princess nodded, her grip on him tightening. “That’s right,” she murmured.

>Anon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She smelled exactly the same as when he had left her. Her warmth was just as he remembered. Even her wings had that same perfect softness to them.

Humming, he nuzzled his face against her chest. “Did they say anything?” he whispered.

>Celestia hummed, tears forming in her eyes, as she nuzzled her lover. “I have heard that there is a wonderful restaurant that has just opened in Canterlot,” she told him. “From what I’ve been told, they make the finest curry in Equestria.”

>A look of confusion and concern came to Anonymous’s face. “Oh?”

>The princess nodded. “I was wonder if you’d like to accompany me to this establishment,” she asked, only the slightest quiver in her voice as the tears became fatter and fatter until they were making their way down her cheeks. “Sometime this week perhaps?”

“And what would we be going out for, my princess?” Anon asked, his brow furrowing.

>Celestia just smiled, reaching down and touching her stomach. “A celebration of sorts,” she said, her eyes shining.

>>28946814
Christ, he's actually gonna stick with her, that's not like buying the high mileage 08' Ford LaP, that's buying the beat to shit 70' Lada with the nice paintjob.

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>>28946824

>The world stood still. Not a single person in the store, human or pony, breathed. Outside the shop, ponies walking around the market slowed to a stop, their conversations ceasing. Birds flying through the air froze in mid flight. The world seemed to hold its breath.

>Somewhere in the cosmos, Discord sneezed.

The human stiffened. “What?!” he shouted, his eyes wide. “You’re pregnant?!”

>Tears of joy streaming down her face, Celestia leaned down and kissed him on the lips. “I’m afraid so,” she said happily. “The doctor conducted an ultrasound. A fetus is beginning to form inside of me.”

>A bolt of terror and joy, unlike any that he had ever felt, shot through the human. He pulled himself out of the hug, holding the princess at arm’s length, and looked up at her.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked again in disbelief. “You’re really, definitely pregnant?”

>“Yes,” she answered with a sniffle, unrestrained joy on her face. “I am with child.”

>Ponies gasped at the princess’s announcement. They began whispering to each other. Many looked shocked, some looked excited, others looked confused. A chubby pegasus, not able to handle the news, slumped to the floor, out cold. But none were as shocked or floored as Anon.

>He hadn’t expected it to work. Even though, at this point, there was no one else on earth that he would rather have a kid with, he didn’t think that his baby batter was going to work. It made no sense. A pony wasn’t supposed to be able to have children with a human, but here, Celestia—the mare that he cared for greatly—said that it was not only possible but [i]they had done it[/i].

>He was so shocked that if he hadn’t been holding onto the princess he might have fallen over

“You’re going to be a mom?” he asked, dazed. “That means I’m going to be a dad?”

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>>28946837

>Sniffling again, the princess nodded. “Yes, you’re going to be a dad. The father of our child.”

>A murmur swept through the room as she pulled him into a hug once more. Anon, frozen in place, promptly fell over the second that she put the tiniest amount of her weight onto him. The crowd gasped as the two fell over in a heap. A couple ponies took a few steps toward them to see if they were alright, but there was no need. The two had barely noticed the fall.

“…I’m going to be a dad,” Anon murmured stupidly, looking up at the alicorn looming over him. “I’m going to be a dad.”

>He continued to mumble to himself, looking up at the ceiling. Celestia, nearly bouncing with joy, began to nuzzle his face.

“I’m going to be a dad…?”

>“You’re going to be a dad!”

“I’m going to be a dad…?”

>“You’re going to be a dad!”

>Blinking, his gaze focused back on Celestia’s face. The light of her sun was bathing her in its golden rays. He sucked in a lungful of air, letting his gaze wander her beautiful, graceful, glowing body.

“I’m going to be a dad?” he muttered, his eyes widening. A smile began to form on his face. “I’m going to be a dad?”

>Celestia, tears freely flowing down her face, nodded. “You’re going to be a dad,” she reassured, with just as much joy and happiness as when she had said it the first time.

>Anon was quiet for a few moments. He stared into his lover, his princess’s eyes. The confusion on his face slowly began to drain from his face. His smile grew, and with it his excitement.

“I’m going to be a dad?” he asked one last time, reaching up and grabbing Celestia’s withers.

>Yet again she nodded. “You’re going to be a dad.”

The soon-to-be father nodded, looking around the room. “I’m going to be a dad,” he said, his eyes lighting up. “I’m going to be a dad! I’m going to be a dad! [i][b]I’m going to be a dad![/b][/i]”

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>>28946850

>He whooped and Celestia laughed. The two fell into a heap on the floor. Beside them, a baker’s dozen cookies fell to the floor as the ponies in the store began to whoop and cheer.

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>>28946851
Alright, that's the end. Hope you guys liked it.


Also, if anyone has any ideas on what to name this story I'd love to hear it since I can't figure one out myself

>>28946850
God, that good end.

>>28946863
Like it? i Fucking Love it!

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>>28946882
>good end.

I never though I'd actually find a apt time to post this, You might need a bit of multiplication to adjust but close enough.

Remember, even if you're an ugly fuck thanks to a (Supposedly) larger female population you would never have to settle for used goods.

>>28946348

>>28944965
>a thread specific meme
>oc that appears no where else
>not thread related

o-ok

>>28946089
I see you. I see you and raise my sword, anglo Anon.

>>28946863
Loved it! Now as for names...

>In the Family Way
>Breeding Celestia
>Anon Touches the Sun
>The Practical Application of the Friendship Steps: By Twilight Sparkle
>Celestial Body
>Celestia's Last Hope
>I Touched a Pony and I Liked It
>With or Without Child

All I can think of at this moment. These probably suck as I am quite intoxicated.

>>28946863
Warming Up to the Sun

>>28946863
That was a cute as FUCK ending my man.

A perfect ending.

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>>28946863
What will the child be?

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>Female griffons don't sit, they squat
>It's perfect egg-laying posture
>Anyone who can squat for long periods of time is considered a good mate and a great mother
>Which is why Gilda has spent the past nine hours squatting outside Anon's front door

>>28946850
I heard this line before but for the life of me I cant remember where it came from.

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>>28947931
We could always do with more non-pone ladies.

>>28947997
>Gilda and Anon start dating
>With the economic situation in Griffonstone, Gilda expects to struggle and work her talons to the bone to provide for him
>She's absolutely shocked to learn that he has a job and his own house
>Even moreso that he doesn't sell his ass on the street for it
>As the only two meat eaters in Ponyville, they really hit it off
>Gilda is so excited that when she escorts him home afterward, she squats down in front of his door and refuses to move until he agrees to marry her

>>28948081
>not just picking her up off your doorstep and carrying her inside

>>28948081
So how do girls within a pride handle themselves?

>>28948208
male rules the roost but females are the breadwinners

do you think tartarus is worse than hell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhMbT_hksGQ

>>28948230
The females do literally everything except make the rules and settle disputes.
But between low numbers and burd brains, fights between two griffin bois is all posturing and puffy plumage.

Here's an update to: http://pastebin.com/whA8Xhix
---
>Like a man possessed you swung your broom in every direction you could.
>Various objects flew off their shelves and mantles as Jeff made short work of anything in your vicinity.
>You may not have accidently knocked a bust of President Reagan in the process either.
>You were probably going to hell for that.
>But collateral damage was to be expected in war.
>A war for your virginity.
>Because you sure as hell weren’t going to be raped today.
>These damn horses were not getting anywhere near your dick.
>”Girls scatter!”
>The purple one ducked as Jeff missed her snout by a mere inch.
“Will you stop goddamn moving around so much, how the hell do you expect me to hit you otherwise?”
>Damn horses weren’t even willing to listen to reason.
>You only wanted to give them a mild beating.
>The kind that serves to solidify a point.
>Five of them managed to get to the entrance way and away from you.
“YEAH you better run!”
>A painting fell behind you, causing you to quickly turn, Jeff at the ready to deliver his swift justice.
>The yellow flying horse had knocked a painting off the wall in her haste to get out of the reach of Jeffs mighty blows.
“Trying to sneak up on me eh?”
>”I wasn’t I swear.”
>You couldn’t tell if she was lying or about to wet herself from fear.
“Not buying it.”
>It honestly didn’t matter.
>Towering of the horse you assumed a batters stance.

>>28948675
>This was probably going to smart, but judging by just how big-bottomed this mare was you weren’t too worried about permanent damage.
>Her eyes grew wide with the realization of what exactly was about to happen.
>With a nice swing Jeff connected with her bottom and sent her flying towards her friends.
>Waving the broom in the air you watched with a small amount of satisfaction as they ran from building.
>This place was for red blooded Americans, ones that liked big titties and internet porn.
>Definitely not for some weird degenerates that wanted to fuck animals or vice versa.
>The retreating horses forms shrunk as they galloped away.
>They would be back.
>You wounded their pride.
>And some of their behinds.
“We did it bud, we managed to beat them back.
>Looking around at the carnage you groaned inwardly.
>This place was already a mess and you had gone and made it even worse.
>Spotting some movement on one of the tables you saw one of the scorpions.
“And where were you when I needed help? The snake was out there busting his balls.”
>The scorpion threw his pincers up in the air and gave you shooing motion.
>This little mutherfucker.
>Shaking your head in disappointment you walked over to the painting which got knocked down.
>Gripping the frame you turned it over.
>President Trump.
>You think it was anyway.
>You don’t recall him ever wearing an eye-patch or being bald.
>Placing the painting back on the wall you gave it a salute.
“I won’t let you down, I’m going to make America great again!”

>>28948683
>”Can we stop running away now Twilight?”
>Coming to a stop you looked at your friends.
You all stood together trying to figure out what exactly just happened.
>This didn’t go according to plan at all.
>You were supposed to save the colt, be a hero, and maybe get him to show you his dick.
>Like in the comic books that most certainly weren’t hidden under your bed..
>When did it all go so wrong?
“I think we may need some help on this one and I know just the mare who knows how to deal with unruly colts.”
>”Twilight don’t you think getting Princess Celestia or Luna involved seem like a bit much for just one silly stallion?”
“Who said anything about them?”
>Applejack gave you a confused look.
>”But you said you we needed help?”
“The Princess Celestia and Luna aren’t exactly know for their interactions with the fairer sex.”
>Your sister-in-law however had the most experience in dealing with these situations.
>Your brother was certainly a hooffull at times and Cadence knew just how to get him to stop with his tantrums.
>You’re sure that if you explained the situation to her she would help you.
“Hold still everypony, we have a letter to write.”
>Charging up the teleportation spell you felt the magic start to concentrate in your horn.
>With a blinding light all six of you vanished.

>After putting Jeff back in the broom closet so he could continue his attempt at picking some slooty mops you went to the oval office.
>Poor guy was going to have to get tested.
>God only knows what kind of shit those mops have picked up in their careers.

>>28948686
>Thoughts racing through your head you replayed the events of the day.
>Going to the library.
>Jumping out a window.
>Hitting some horses with a broom.
>Why couldn’t you have a normal life?
>Was that so much to ask for?
>Sitting down in the chair that used to belong to God Emperor Trump you thought about just how much shit was headed your way.
>They would be back.
>It wasn’t a matter of if, but when.
>Suffice it to say you couldn’t stay here.
>But where would you go?
>Opening up the drawers of the desk you rifled through the contents.
>Pulling out file after file of papers you scanned the titles.
“This looks like a three year old drew it.”
>The drawing consisted of a man in a blue suit with the words “Me as President” scribbled in crayon underneath.
>Well he didn’t get elected for his artistic skills.
>Finding a blank sheet of paper and a pencil you got to work.
>Geography wasn’t exactly your strong suit but you did watch that show about how states got their shapes.
>And being a gold-mine of useless knowledge you retained all the information you would need.
>You began drawing a map.
>It wasn’t going to be the prettiest thing, but it would have to do.
>If you were in DC you could probably make your way north and see if your old house was still intact.
>With any luck you’d never encounter these equines again and you would live the rest of your life happily with your best friend Jeff.

>>28948696
>Maybe even find him a nice broom to settle down with.
>After all the crap he went through alongside you it’s the least you could do.
>Mind made up you began making a list of what you would need for this journey.
>You would set out at dawn.

>”So he fought you off with a broom?” Cadence look positively bewildered.
>”Uh-huh, after Rarity told him she was ready to suck him dr”
>”I said no such thing!”
“Will everypony just quiet down!”
>You loved your friends to death but sometimes they really just needed to assess the situation and hold back on the unimportant details.
“We asked for your help since you know how to calm a stallion down.”
>”What makes you think that?”
“Shining”
>”Point taken, but still I fail to see how I can help with the situation.”
“When we go back you’re our best bet in talking him down.”
>”Why didn’t you just use your magic?”
>Giving your sister-from-another-mister a look you continued.
“If we can avoid the need to get physical with him it would be for the best besides the thought of overpowering a colt seems pretty barbaric.”
>”You could have just floated him up so he couldn’t hurt you or himself.”
>You…
>Why didn’t you think of that!?
“Be that as it may, we’ll go back tomorrow. He’ll hopefully have calmed down by then.
>Your friends and Cadence although hesitantly nodded.
>”Oooh Oooh Twilight!”

>>28948702
“What is it Pinkie?”
>Pinkie ever the hyper mare sat on her haunches rocking back and forth.
>”What if talking to him doesn’t work again?”
“It will work.”
>”But it didn’t last time.”
“We’ll make it work.”
>You were sure of it.

>You are man of your word.
>At some point during your artistic quest to create a map Mr. Snake had slithered back and lay coiled beside your makeshift bed.
>And just as you had promised he was allowed to mooch off your body heat when you slept that night.
>Provided, as you had told him, that no biting would occur during the night.
>You were pretty sure that anti-venom wasn’t a commonplace thing here.
>Set on going to bed early you lay down and watched apprehensively as the snake slithered up and found a comfortable spot on your stomach.
>Hopefully any other critters you encountered would be this friendly.
>But no more thinking for you.
>It was time to get some rest.
>After all first thing in the morning you were to set out on a long trip.
>By your calculations it should take three to four days to get home.
>Then again that all rested on you not getting lost in the process.
>Your sense of direction wasn’t exactly the best.
>You got lost in your basement once, luckily you found some graham crackers down there to sustain yourself.
>That was a horrible week in the story of your life.
>One shitty situation after the next.

>>28948709
>Feeling movement on your stomach you saw Mr. Snake coil up a little tighter.
>You had barely noticed but the temperature was starting to drop.
>Grabbing the worn out blanket you set it over the both of you.
>Now feeling a little bit warmer you felt your eyelids grow heavy.

>When you woke up in the morning you noticed that your sleep buddy was gone.
>You were almost disappointed.
>After all you did want to say goodbye to the odd friend before you set out.
>Keeping an eye just in case he showed you began building your makeshift pack.
>Focusing on only on the bare essentials, which there were very few off, you hefted the pack onto your back.
>Honestly it was mostly what little food you could find.
>Looking around the place which served as your living quarters for the past few days you headed to closet to get Jeff.
>You might actually miss this place a little when you thought about it.
>Shaking your head you threw those thoughts aside.
>You were becoming a little too sentimental for your liking.
>Getting too attached to one place was never a good thing.
>Opening the door you were at a loss for words.
>Jeff was on the ground with the mops on top of him.
>But that wasn’t all.
>The vacuum, several cleaning products, and one mop bucket were there too.
“Jesus Christ Jeff.”
>Untangling Jeff from the mess of others you hefted him over your shoulder.
“I hope you enjoyed yourself because we got a long trip ahead of us.”
>You made your way out of the white house for the last time.

>>28948717
“That’s where we saw him last.”
>Pointing your hoof at the dilapidated building you hoped that your second attempt would have a different outcome.
>”Alright remember, when we get in there let me do all the talking.”
>Nodding to Cadence your group moved towards the large building.
>Keeping an eye out for the snake which hindered your approach previously you all marched forward.
>Soon enough you were all inside.
>Telltale sign of your previous encounter still present.
>”Twilight are you sure he’s here?”
“This is where we saw him last.”
>Humming thoughtfully you saw Cadences horn glow with magic.
>You felt the tendrils of her spell passing by you even though you couldn’t see them.
>”There’s nothing alive in here.”
“Maybe we should check the library.”
>”No, as in this entire place. There aren’t any forms of life anywhere.”
>So much for doing things the easy way.
---
And there's my little update. The pastebin has been updated as well.

>>28948726
YISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

>>28948726
Your grammar is as atrocious as ever.

>>28948683
>President Trump
Make American great again they say.
Make American gone they say.

>>28948810
>Make American gone they say.
thats hillary
what with her strange and intense obsession and hatred of russia

>>28948818
She sold them all that uranium, and she want's to see it used dammit.

Why do people feel the need to inject their politics into pastel ponies?
I don't care what your political persuasion, if you throw it in peoples faces, go back to /pol/, or at least kill yourself.

>>28948081
I want more of this, like LAP's diggy hole but anon is just trying to get Gilda off his fucking lawn

>>28948898
Maybe you should go home to reddit, it's not politics, it's history.

He won, get over it.

>>28948911
>Not fertilizing ALL her eggs.
Nigga...

>>28948898
>Why do people feel the need to inject their politics into pastel ponies?
After a couple inoffensive jokes about president elect Trump? One being that he draws himself with crayons like a three year old? And you think he needs to go back to /pol/.
Nigga go fuck your triggered ass with a cactus, you're the dumbest motherfucker I've seen here all day.

>>28948929
That's later, but right now he just finished mowing it and getting it looking perfect. And now she is squatting on it pussy out and dripping on it and rubbing her ass on it. It's making a mess

>>28948975
I... I want to see this.
Please

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>>28948975
Since when does a little liquid ruin a lawn?

>>28949006
Anon got the PH levels, fertilizer, everything! Perfect for his lawn because fuck bonbon winning the best lawn of the year award this thin it's his!
And Gilda is fucking it up

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>>28949049
Should have given Bonbon a reason to work for him instead of against him.

>>28949006
Dump some battery acid on your grass and see what happens

>>28948726
My favorite of your recent stories. I'm glad you decided to continue it after stopping for a while.

>>28944650
>competent stallions were her fetish.
kek

>>28949247
Ended up with some gasoline or diesel on my lawn once, nothing grew in that spot until we dug up the dirt there and replaced it.

>>28949270
>>28949247
So are you saying Gilda's pussy goo is the same as battery acid or gas?

>>28948726

remember make this story great again

>>28949312
Kinky

>>28948081
I just see Gilda squatting on anons porch , vag exposed and screaming about how good of a hunter, a fucker, and a parent she will be and why anon should fertilize all her eggs

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where is everyone

>>28949851
kill

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>>28949781
Comes across as very slav.

>>28949942
>uses catbird vag to open a bottle of vodka and starts chugging

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>>28944206
Would you break the law for teenage Applebloom?

>>28949962
>"Anon, watch! This could be you!"
>*KRK*
>*KSHHH*
>Anon is now fully scaroused

>>28950003
>she the chugs the vadka with her cunt, squirts it up into the are and into her mouth, all without spilling a drop.
>such is the strange and awesome skills of the Slav bird

>>28949967
Depends. Are we talking early or late teens?
I need to know if she's too old to be a cocksock or not.

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>>28950251
>too old to be a cocksock

>>28950262
Well in theory there is an age where the body can not fit your cock and therefore can't be a cocksock

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>>28950275
>the body can not fit your cock
MAGIC FATHERBUCKER
DO YOU CAST IT

>>28950303
Your pic is probably just the result of size difference cum baths

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with this much of topic shit posting someone might as well post a bit of cow

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>>28950342

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>>28950355
Have potato cow

>anon brings ECONOMICS to equestria

>>28950356
Did you just make that?

>>28950496
Nah, it's some satyr OC.

>>28950356
>>28950509
Well he did get an Anya's to how they are related
Although I think anon might just solve most of his problems by jacking off on them

Here's a dumb idea
Equestria has reversed gender roles
But EqGstria has normal gender roles
It'd be like Anon in RGRE, except reverse.

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>>28951012

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>>28951012
I'm sorry but I did not understand that.

>>28951029
It's not as dumb as you think.
>>28951012
> Sunset Shimmer can't believe how eager the boys are for the V
> Writes to Princess Twilight about how much action she's getting
> Pony Mane 6 jump at the chance of willing stallions, with varying amounts of enthusiasm
> EQG mane 6 try to restrain their sex-crazed doppelgangers from ruining their reputation

>>28951068
It makes sense like that, except you didn't specify it would be from Sunset's point.

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>tfw sick as fuck
>tfw no motherly cat bird to take care of me and keep me warm

sick anon being taken care of in the ultimate comfy ways when?

>>28951207
You sick also?
I need cuddly catbird to nurse me back to health

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>>28951215
>you will never have a catbird make you use its chest as a pillow
>you will never have a catbird snuggle you in its wings while whispering comfy things to you
im more sick with these feels then any other disease at this point.
ate some rancid left overs from thanksgiving. you?

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>>28951246
life consists only of misery

>>28951309
that is agreed.

>>28951309
And Deus Vults.

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>>28951246
>Day gratitude in Equestira
>Be Anon, human.
>Be in Equestria, at your very messy house in Canterlot.
>Feel sick from eating too much at thanksgiving yesterday.
"Urgh, I feel sick."
>There is a clattering sound.
>When you turn to see what it is you find that there is a big chunk of leftovers from yesterday that got left out crawling towards you.
>That's not normal.
>"Don't get up, you need your rest."
>The hunk of bird meat gently pushes you back onto your couch with a drumstick.
>It then pulls your blanket back over you making sure you're tucked in comfortably.
>"There, now you just wait there and I'll get you something to eat."
>It leaves towards your kitchen and you can hear sounds of cooking.
>It come back after a while with a bowl of soup.
>"Eat it all dear, you need your strength."
>You try to ask it just what it is and what's going on.
>"Who are you? What's going on?"
>"I'm Leftovers and I'm making sure my big boy gets well. Don't worry about a thing, just let mama Lefty take care of everything."
>You never expected to be cared for and nursed back to health by a motherly pile of leftover meat, but here you are.
>You're thankful that living with these ponies has gotten you used enough to weird shit that this isn't a major shock.

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>>28951356
thank you durnk.

>>28951246
Seasonal head cold

>>28951386
i always hated it when i got those. havent had one since i moved to colorado though.
get well.

>>28951400
Thanks, same to you
>>28951347
Deus Vult indeed
Make more Anna too cute

>Sort of like lions, stallions without mares will form up into a "bachelor herd" to look out for each other.
>Totally not homo things may or may not happen in them sometimes.
>It's like all the girls in a high school sitting together at lunch except that they actually like each other.

>>28951356
>like any other denizen of Equestria, Leftovers just had to break into song and dance when making the soup
https://youtu.be/OJWJE0x7T4Q?t=3m23s

>>28951356
Yeah I'm gonna need reimbursement for my sides. 10/10 would kek again.

>>28951549
Anyone else picture sausage party?

>>28951560
No because that movie a shit

I've got some more green, feeling a bit motivated, but then again, this one is made within the hour so it's scientifically proven to be shit. As always, what the fuck is editing?


>You are Crusader Anon.
>And a white furred infidel has pestered you into getting clothes.
>You’ve been in God’s twisted world of Equestria for 3 fortnights.
>And you didn't need clothes.
>But then Anna all but forced you into getting them, and some for her.
>Currently you were sitting in a chair, your legs extended and spread.
>Rarity, the heathen that she was, had taken your measurements first, and had taken Anna now.
>You could feel the cries in your head that this was to conspire against you.
>But you silence them.
>Anna would never betray you.
>Not now, not ever, you had that much faith.
>Your waiting had led to you taking the moment to maintain your sword.
>You stand up and March into Rarity’s kitchen, punching the door open with the force of a thousand angry Catholics.
>The sudden removal of the door had spooked whoever was behind.
>A white filly with two-toned hair sat at a table in the middle of the kitchen, her eyes were wide and her mouth was wide open.
>You follow her gaze to the door and shrug.
>You rummage around for a large pot, but have no luck.

>>28951675
>At your behest you turn to face the other inhabitant of the kitchen.
“Tiny pony, where is your largest pot?”
>She doesn't even deign to respond as she raises her hoof to point over your slightly crouched form.
>You’re actually genuinely surprised that you hadn't walked into one of the hanging implements of cooking that were above you.
>You reach your hand up and take the largest pot on the rack.
>You wander over to a nearby faucet,which you had learned to use thanks to the local queens highly detailed tour of your recently granted lands.
>Turning it on, you fill the cast iron tool to the brim.
>After turning it off, you Immediately turn and put it on top of the stove in the kitchen.
>You know they have actual, real magic, and this doesn't even compare, but hot damn, a flame on demand with the twist of a lever.
>That was true magic in your eyes.
>You put the flame to MAXIMUM and open up your on-the-go sword maintenance kit.
>Withdrawing the stone you put it in the water and wait.
>But it was not to be an undisturbed one.
>”Who are you?”
>The horse in the room questioned suddenly.
“I am Lord Crusader Anonymous, the first of my name.”
>”Oh. I'm just Sweetie Belle.”
>She looks abashed.
“Now, allow me to ask you a question! Have you heard of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?”
>”No?”
>Her ears perk up in curiosity.
“Well, let's discuss about him!”
>You reach for your handy-dandy pocket bible and practically skip to her side.

>>28951682
>Muh time skip.

>”Anonymous, dear? Did you destroy my door?”
>You look up from your enraptured position and leave Sweetie Belle to read from the Holy Book.
>She looks interested. Really interested.
“Yes.”
>Rarity’s face scrunches up.
>”Why would you do that?”
“The door got in my way.”
>”But, why? Why didn't you just open it?”
>This mare is dense.
>Before you get the chance to reply, Anna’s head pokes in above Rarity.
>”I think you’ll like what we have designed out, Anon!”
>Her lips curl up and her ears stand at attention.
>You sign and slam your hand upon the table, startling Sweetie Belle from her intense reading of the Scriptures.
“Well, then let us look at it!”
>You stand up and walk out of the room, a grumbling Rarity following you.
>You had taken care of your sword needs when Sweetie Belle wasn't asking about your Lord and Saviour.
>Soon enough you are seated at a small couch, next to Anna, and in front of Rarity.
>”I feel you will really love this design, dear, it's in season, and colts all over ponyville are wearing them.”
>She lays down the most flamboyant, court jester-ish vest you've ever seen.
>You flip the table without a seconds hesitation and watch it sail over Ratity’s head as she flinched.
“What is this!? Do you take me as a fool! I will not be dressed like a jester, I am far above that, I carry out God’s will!”
>You might be overreacting, but you were pumped at the thought of not being the only cultured, faithful Christian on the continent again.
>Anna's legs wrap around your shoulders and pull you down and into her chest.
>”Calm down, Anon! I thought you'd love it!”
“I will not stand for this atrocity upon my honour!”
>You attempt to to draw your sword and challenge Rarity to a duel, but sadly Anna holds you in place.
>”Calm down, Anon!”

>>28951686
>Muh timeskip C1a1e1

>After an hour of calming you down, you're finally rational enough to have a conversation.
“I apologize for my behaviour.”
>You're really not sorry, but gotta keep face.
>Rarity sighs.
>“Apology accepted.”
“I still won't accept this.”
>”Come on, Anonymous, I think you would look dashing in the vest!”
“Absolutely Heretical.”
>You’ve had enough of this.
>You stand to leave and walk out.
>You're nearly halfway home before you realize you had left your Pocket Bible with Sweetie Belle.
>You do not fret, because that lends her more time to read it and think about its teachings.
>Besides, you have a back up.
>What's the worst that could happen?

>>28951695
Rheeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Utter shite has been delivered smoothly and swiftly, now we await casualty results.

>>28951700
Is good but anon is a bit of a dick, also why would he break the door? He will need that to help defend against the Saracen attacks. With no door or gate his position is compromised

But I do like the idea of anon wearing clothes over his armor

>>28946863
Moar bugbutt nao? I really like ur bugbutt.

>>28951682
I love Crusader Anon.

>>28951479
>Stallions never seem to want sex from the mares POV
>But they gossip about almost nothing but mares and sex when you get a room full of stallions together

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>>28951686
>You sign
>>>>>>sign
STOOOOOOP.

>>28951848
It kind of fuels me to do it more.
>>28951769
>Be a Crusader
>Not killing or converating every single person near you.

He shows incredible restraint. And it's RaRas house, the Saracens won't invade from there.

>>28951865
Stop being an intentional fuck up when writing, that is a very bad habit.

>>28951865
>be a crusader
>not fucking your horse
>God will forgive your every sin for your service

>>28951848
As someone who goes to a school with a lot of deaf kids, every time I see it I've been wondering, "How the fuck does American Sign Language help here?"

>>28951893
It gives meaning to anons autistic flailing

>>28950303
Breezies are stretchy, like answering machine pones.

>>28951932
Even if they are stretchy the more they need to stretch to fit the less texture there vag would have, it's like fucking a fleshlight that's way too small, all the bumps and ridges get spread out, there just wouldn't be enough to feel good, there would be wet tightness but almost smooth as a whistle

>>28951686
I really don't like this jerk. He's a jerk. I don't like jerks. Because they're jerks.

>>28951945
>a fleshlight that's way too small
I don't know this feel :(

>>28951954
...because I've never used a fleshlight, of course. I do know the pain of a gf who complains that ur too big though.

>>28951945
What is magic

>>28951958
Nice save
>>28951959
An excuse that is too often used and breaks suspension of disbelief.
I get that you want to fuck one and I'm not stopping you, porn is porn after all. But my autistic reptilian mind can't help but see quite a few problems with that.
Those this are best set for fetishes that don't involve penetrating them

>>28948726
Snek is best waifu so far.

>>28951877
what the fuck did he fuck up?

Sign-ing is perfectly in character for a crusader.

Wards off Saracens, it does.

>>28950356
>>28950547
>You will never surprise cumshot your breezie daughter from across the room while her friends are over.

Anyone heard back from former rockstar DadAnon's author? I'm loving that story, and that's despite my considering satyrs abominations.

>>28952576
They posted some green last thread.

>>28943965

>>28952576
General overview of major events so far?
Wanna know if it's worth pasting over the kinda terrible names when he's done.

>>28952024
I agree Anon, but Scropion waifu is a close second.

>>28952845
>He left both of them behind
They snuck into his bag or something else when he wasn't looking.

>>28951828
deus vult

>>28953616
DEUS

>>28953890
FUCKING

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>>28953890
VULT!

>>28953965
Shitposting intensifies.

>>28951848
>>28951893
>>28951877
If you weren't aware, it's signing as in making the sign of the cross with hand motions as a gesture of warding/sanctification. Completely in-character for a knight of the Crusades.

>>28954029
no its not

>>28954029
Bullshit

>>28952781
You want a summary? I'm enjoying it so far, it tickles my adorable daughteru buttons.

Dad moves in to ponyville with his three daughters, half dragon diamond dog and Griffin. Mares want the hot single DILF. Daughters protect their daddy's honor. Dadanon was a former villain/rockstar. Celestia is a fan. Mane 6 all want the D.

Lots of cuteness in there. I'm liking it. Can't remember the daughter names though.

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>>28954158
Sounds nice.

>Can't remember the daughter names though.
Yeah, I can see the naming scheme getting pretty rough. Which is why I'll probably port it to notepad and abuse the replace feature.

>>28954158
Current story points:
Pinkie wants to get into his pants. Explicitly tells daughters this.

Luna attempts to dreamwalk on him to try and figure out how to vanquish him and dispell the 'hold' he has on Celestia. She doesn't succeed.

Rainbow attempts to get on Den's (gryphon daughter) good side. Fails.

Specs and Coggy (Dog and dragon, respectively) go gem digging. Dig into Diamond Dog mines. The dogs start complimenting Specs, which Coggy teases her about.

Honestly, I expect there to be some interaction between Spike and dragon daughter. Maybe Rarity and Spike encounter them on their way back home?

>>28954375
Very much so, yes.

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>>28954396

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>>28954409

I just watched "The Princess Bride" great movie
How would RGRE react to watching that movie?

>>28954848
"I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake, but in the mean time rest well and dream of large women"
Words we can all live by

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>>28954848

>>28954848
They would probably like it. It might be a bit too dark for there taist at times
They would have mixed reactions to the gender roles, they would see Wesley in a similar way we see Xena warrior princess

But there is a good chance that the movie depicts historical events in there world, although with the genders reversed and with humans instead of ponys, Minotaurs, griffins or what ever creatures they where

>>28954057
>>28954084
Look at these Heathens, I bet they're actually Saracens

>>28955013
Are you fucking kidding me? You spelled literally EVERY word right but fucking "taste". I want to kill you now.

>>28955107
You can try but there is something you must know. I am not left handed

But in all seriousness English is not my first language, so I make mistakes now and then

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Where is the EQG rgre. That dazzling shit was adorable. I need more. Please writefags.

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>>28955219
>Masculinism becomes the latest thing at Cantorlot High.
>The few boys there become even more catty and difficult to deal with.
>Anon is the only one who blows it off as tumblr bullshit, saying "You're all already equal. Girls don't owe you or I anything. You're all just complaining to get special treatment."
>It sours all his male friendships in an instant.
>But his modest group of female admirers suddenly booms.

Does anyone know where to find the season 6 final episodes in 720p or greater? I am finding nothing but blurry as fuck rips.

>>28955358
https://yp1.yayponies.no/

>>28955332
That's just because they thing he gives it away easy.

>>28955506
they're not wrong.

>>28955506
But does he give anal?

>>28955465
Jesus Christ man. I did not know this site existed. Thanks a bunch!

>>28944965
There is no way. Your own horrible natures wore them down over time and now they want nothing to do with any of you.

>>28946555
>content drifts from what people might like
What does RGRE even like? Can you tell me one thing that you can post in the thread without getting bitched at?

>>28946927
Sorry, Anon, but your pure virginal waifu is in another anime. How autistic do you need to be to consider your average every-day person who has had sex before meeting their current partner to be "used goods"?

>>28955740
For Principal Celestia's saggy tits, of course he does.
He even hold hands and snuggles.
He can even kiss your forehead and call you a good girl if you are into that (not that made him do it to me or anything)
.

>>28956009
Thirsty Mares

>>28955332
mmm yes please

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>>28956098
this

>>28956098
This.

>>28956009
Also it lends itself to interesting scenarios when ponies feel social obligations to the opposite sex. Splice this with Anon just being ignorant and trampling all over their expectations, and them not understanding why, and you have a pretty good recipe for amusement in general.

>>28956113
>Anon in bed with pony
>She is initially impressed with his stamina
>But soon she becomes quite worried about her performance

>He confesses that he has not been able to cum in years
>She declares that this is a tragedy that simply must be remedied at once!

>It takes several attempts, but eventually her efforts bear fruit
>In the form of a geyser of cum that would make any stallion in the world jealous

>As she comes back to her senses, absolutely covered in his seed, she realizes that she now has a new fetish.

>>28956009
Usually funny/cute stuff, certainly not this cuck shit.

You only need to look how people from marital problems got pushed out.

>>28956038
10 is the limit for fucking them, and I wouldn't even marry if they had more than one previous partner, and that's pushing it.

And before you ask, yeah this does result in huge dry spells, current one is going on nearly a year and a half..

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>>28956194
oh my

>>28956194
>girl-pone takes Anon out to dinner
>determined to give him the V, all the dishes are ones with an aphrodisiac effect. Chili peppers, chocolate, honey, bananas, etc.
>all your classic "get their motor running" foods
>underestimates the effect this has on an already willing and enthusiastic monkey D
>Halfway through the night, she begin hoping that she'll only be sore enough to walk bow-legged.

>Groaning you hit the door with your shoulder letting the squeaky screen door open inwards with a slap of wood on wood.
>Yawning you use your foot to hold the door open as the clopping of hooves echoes just beside you.
>The orange blur that you can make out through hazy sleep deprived eyes makes its way towards the kitchen.
>Following after your wife you rub at your eyes as you see Applejack nose the coffee pot into its place.
>Seeing her struggle with the bag of coffee grounds you simply reach over her and do it yourself.
>A small whinny of displeasure lets you know exactly how she feels about that.
>You simply reach down and rub her head in that special spot between her ears, you can /feel/ Applejack shiver beneath your questing fingers.
>"Nnn, Sugarcube t'aint fair with them wigglers yanno..."
"Shh, you love 'em anyway. Now let me get the coffee started."
>"Y'all know I /can/ make a cup of coffee right? Ah'm not that incompetent."
>Sliding the coffee grounds into place you flip the switch listening to the machine gurgle before drops of that hot sin fall into place.
>Looking down into the green eyes of your wife you simply smile as you lean down to kiss her head.
"Yeah, but we're both needing the coffee and I do it faster."
>A small pout is the answer you get as Applejack grumbles to herself before turning to trot for the table her tail swatting at your leg with a muffled thump.

>You follow after her, since you'll still need to wait for the coffee.
>Collapsing into the chair you watch as Applejack noses through the Ponyville Daily eyes squinting in the low level light.
>Speaking of the light you look out the window to see the dawn slowly start it's break across the horizon.
>Rubbing the back of your neck you sigh.
"Why again did we wake up so early hun?"
>"Hrm?" Applejack blinks the sleep from her eye before looking at you, "Shucks Anon, you can't tell me your forgot?"
"No, I just wanted a refresher on why we /had/ to do it this early in the morning."

>>28956205
>You only need to look how people from marital problems got pushed out.

I'd kinda like to see a well written green about actual relationship issues due to cultural differences or just regular kinds of relationship problems. There's more than can go wrong in a relationship than infidelity.

And then have them actually *gasp/shock* work them out and fix the problems and have a stronger relationship than ever by the end.

Maybe they can just talk things out.

Maybe they are both stubborn. Or don't realize what is actually wrong. Or think something is wrong that isn't. Or thing something is wrong but their focused on the wrong thing. Or don't know how to fix it.

So their friends have to intervene and help out. Maybe one of them tries to help and makes things worse before they have get help from the other friends to undo the damage and actually make things better.

>>28956279

>Seeing the yawn on your face the mare smiles coyly at you leaning on her forelegs, "Well if certain stallion of mine isn't up for the farmwork he could always just manage the house like I said before~"
>You simply scratch your nose with a middle finger in response.
>Applejack lets out a snrk of laughter, "Colts, well you do remember what Granny Smith had said about Zap Apples right?"
"Yeah; crazy ass magic rituals so that your apples turn into magic bullshit apples."
>"Now Anon y'all know better than that. Sides weren't you the one who wanted to know more about Earth Pony Magic anyway?"
"Would have changed my mind if I didn't have to get up before dawn!"
>Applejack simply shrugs with a smug look, "Well I can understand why a colt wouldn't be able to handle it, after all it's a mare's job to do the rituals most the time."
>You simply wade up a piece of her newspaper and toss it at her mane.
"Calm down, you're blowing things out of porpotion there Hun."
>"Says the one tossing paper balls like a filly."
>Before you can argue back you both hear a small ding from the coffee machine to find the pot nice and full.
>Like lightning you both appear near the machine mugs already at the bear and you start to pour yourself and Applejack a nice tall cup of the dark liquid.
>Breathing deeply you marvel at the rich scent as it fills your lungs with vigor.
>Applejack already takes a sip and you watch as her ears perk up from their tired droopy state.
>Silly wife, always drinking it black.
>You prefer a bit of creamer and sugar in yours, so what if it's not the manliest thing around, you like sweet things.
>Once you've turned the black into a creamy mocha you take a sip and simply relax in the kitchen as the world outside starts to wake up.
>As the hot liquid burns a path down your being and warms you up you slowly feel tense muscles start to relax from the rush of caffeine.
>It's the little things in life; like this, that really bring home how much you love you wife.

>>28956289
Sorry for disappearing, kinda been not writing that much. But hey figured some comfy times are always welcomed Anons! Hope you enjoyed.

>>28956194
>>He confesses that he has not been able to cum in years
>"Too many sluts out there. I won't lower myself to take those used goods"

>>28956300
Is a good

>>28956400
Man, I wish I had a guy who would passively aggressively defend everything I did, no matter what.

>>28956205
>cuck
I love how this word is being used so much for so many different things, that it's lost all meaning. I remember a thread where the idea of making Derpy your waifu and raising Dinky made you a cuck. Presumably adopting children makes you a cuck as well.

>>28956279
>>Groaning you hit the door with your shoulder letting the squeaky screen door open inwards with a slap of wood on wood.
Wow. That was almost English, Comfy.

>>28956283
I'd love that. Typically the thread defaults to "pone is cheating on Anon; Anon finds out; Anon wants to leave; Pone suddenly feels bad and tries to make it up to Anon; makes it worse and also somepony or Anon probably dies", unfortunately.

>>28956412
Nah, that's a waste of a wish. I wish that I had a guy who would give critisism and then say that people who disagreed with his critisism were just sucking the writer's dick. I want a man who's willing to just throw his opinion out there and then get upset when people don't like it.

>>28956415
If you are raising someone else's child you are literally a cuckold, as the term is derived from the cuckoo bird, which lays it's eggs in other birds nests so the other bird raises it.

>>28956300
Nice to have you back

>>28956467
Unknowingly, yeah. Your wife fucking another man and getting pregnant and you raising that kid is being a cuckold. Marrying a woman who has a kid whose dad still comes around and interacts with it is being a cuckold.

By the way, I'm hoping for an actual discussion between the two of us. Just fyi.

What if the woman was a widow? I get that raising another man's kid for him is being a cuckold, but what if the man was dead and didn't just run away from the responsibility like your typical nig nog? I'm not saying that things would be drastically different, but if the man is dead, then wouldn't it be closer to the situation of going to an orphanage and adopting a child whose parents are dead? I think that when the man is out of the equation (via death), then it's no longer a case of picking up some dude's slack.

>>28956566
Widow is the only exception I make, and I still wouldn't likely get with her.

>>28956566
>what if the man was dead and didn't just run away from the responsibility like your typical nig nog?

Far more acceptable. I'd say that's one of the few cases that it's okay to raise another man's kid. Gotta have at least one of your own, though.

>>28956566
As long as you have some kids of your own then that window situation is ok

>>28956576
>>28956582
>>28956585
You guys are a lot more agreeable than I thought you'd be. Thanks for the serious replies.

>>28956566
>>28956576
>>28956582
>>28956593

>Derpy actually had a loving husband and father to dinky
>an accident killed the stallion and left derpy with her signature eyes
>dinky was too young to remember
>dinky see anon as a father figure ever since he started teaching the foals basic life skills
>Anon's heart when dinky accidentally calls him dad

>>28956566
I'm the guy you replied to, and like the others said, if you have kids of your own, and/or there are extenuating circumstances yeah, it's not so bad, and is in fact a ind of noble thing to do, but if the dad is gone because jamal just up and left that's a nono.

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>>28956660
Best be giving her some sisters.

>>28956799
>>28956660
Oh god my heart.

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>>28956799
Yes.

I really wish there was a pic of those three playing with Dinky.

Idk about a lot of these opinions. My friend's biological father has been out of the picture for the entirety of his life (alive as far as they know, but gone). It's not like the guy was a crackhead who everyone expected to leave. He was a real upstanding, nice guy (I've been told), nice job, already married to my friend's mom, excited to have kids but just ran off when my friend was born. Cold feet I guess? Scared of parenthood? Maybe my friend was just an ugly baby. Dude apparently just fucked off to Thailand or some shit.

My friend's mom (as a single mother) married a local police officer and he accepted my friend as his own son. Taught him how to ride a bike, throw a football, the weak spots to go for if someone attacks you, ect. If you asked them their relationship, they would say 'dad and son' not 'stepdad and stepson.' His dad is really proud of him (going to school for criminal justice).

If the original father reappeared, I'm sure he, his mom, his dad, (and pretty much the entire town) would tell him to fuck off. Since my friend has no siblings, they either don't want or can't have more kids.

Is that man a still cuck?

I feel a big difference with this family is that the mother works and is financially independent, instead of a leach on the husband, so she wasn't just grabbing on any man that passed with cash.

And this isn't just some roundabout way of saying 'my friend' is me. My parents have been married for 27 years and I'm going to school for computer science.

>>28956799
Best trio.

>>28956836
If he hasn't had children of his own then to an extent he is a cuck, a willing and knowing one, a good parent and a good man but a cuck none the less
Even in the situation of a widow where the new husband has come kids of his own, he is still a cuck

It all comes down to evolutionary psychology, almost everything we do is done so that we can have kids and pass on our genetics.
To rase another mans child is to put forth a lifetimes of work without satisfing that biological drive.
In a way it's like theft, a man being cheated on and raising another mans children has had his genetic legacy stolen.

>>28956825
This made me kek and daww.

>>28956942
Is cuck always meant to be an insult, or in this case is it just more of a term for this situation?

I normally see it thrown around as one, but it doesn't seem like you are.

>>28956836
Sounds like a cool guy.
To your question:
No. He is not a cuck. He raised a kid whose father failed him.

Also your "friend" should learn that "cuck" is just a buzzword in the Chins™ like: faggot, faggette and other variations.

>>28956593
Because this isnt /pol/ or /r9k/
We dont take ourselves too seriously, I mean we ARE ponyfuckers.

>>28956964
It's just kinda of a sad statement, it's not an insult, but the dude is essentially forfeiting passing on his genes to help further another mans lineage. It's more depressing to me than anything.

>>28956964
It comes down to a "language defined by usage" thing.

In common use, it now refers to the sorts of guys who will allow, encourage, or simply not interfere with infidelity because they get off on it or feel like they have no right to demand fidelity.
Or the sorts of people who raise someone else's kid simply because they didn't want to, or even those tumblr nu males who'll have another guy knock up their girl so they can have a mixed race baby to show off how progressive they think they are.

While I'd keep something like >>28957054 in mind, I don't think most people are really going to call you a cuck if you honestly didn't know, or did a legitimate adoption that wasn't a result of some single mother threatening to withhold to puss if you didn't.
I will agree with the sentiment that if you get with a woman who already has a kid, you really should have at least one of your own.

>>28956194
>she realizes that she now has a new fetish
>Anon knows that, unfortunately, she will forevermore be disappointed because there's no way he will ever be able to hold a repeat performance

>>28957201
"Don't worry, we just need to not fuck for 6 months."

>>28957208
>"That's absurd. There has to be a magical or alchemical solution to this..."

>>28957230
"There's this potion."
>anon drinks it
"It should prevent you from ejaculating or experiencing an erection for amount 6 months. See you then!"

>>28957230
To the bookhorses' lair!

>>28957244
>*ba dum tss*

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>After a few months together, Twilight finally can't hold her curious family back any longer and has to introduce you to them.
>In all her letters, though, Twilight neglected to mention that you're not a pony out of fear of how they would take it.
>Your first meeting with them results in Night Light fainting.

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Mare gloryholes

>>28957244
>and then she was given a new cuntbusting fetish

>Anon lands in RGREQG

>Absolutely refuses to go back to being a high school student
>Because fuck allll that bullshit
>He points out that he's already graduated college and doesn't need to go back to learning algebra

>So Principal Celestia offers him a job instead
>As the newest faculty member at Canterlot High.

>So Anon is once again stuck in High School

>>28956041
>>He can even kiss your forehead and call you a good girl if you are into that (not that made him do it to me or anything)

Sure you didn't, Dash.

>>28957487
I remember there being a green about this.
I think Anon was a bus driver, and the mare of the day was Harshwhinny.

>>28957653
And eqg Equestria turned out to be some endless hell. I've been looking for that story everywhere. Anyone got a link?

>>28955219
This

>>28956205
I think you replied to the wrong post. We've been free of cuck shit for awhile.

>>28956283
We had that already, remember Venus and egg downer Cadence.

>>28956440
>implying a thirsty mare that gets fucked regularly by Anon would consider cheating
Marital problems piss off, you cant have your cake here and eat it too, that's the beauty of this threads premise.

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>>28956660
Hnnng, BREED THAT BUBBLEBUTT AND GIVE THAT FOAL SOME SISTERS! Pic related enough.

>>28956775
But what if, hypothetically speaking, Anon was a yandere that got lucky picking a woman that no one else tried to get with, and "removed" the jamal the second he tried to come into the picture again, without the wife noticing of course?

>>28956836
>>28956942
How is it that we get the only sane people to have this conversation with in this thread, when we have no relation to the topic? Its fucking weird. You two go be sane somewhere else where its actually relevant.

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>>28957087
And the most intelligent end to an off topic conversation I have ever seen in this thread.