Royal Guard Mare Thread #13

>>28887720
First for stallions

>>28887744
You don't deserve those dubs.

>>28887720
stick to 1 containment thread, faggot.

>>28887585

>>28887751
You're not fooling anyone, shitpacker.

>>28887720
Gee OP! How come you use my pic for the thread twice already.
I feel honored!
Also should I update the pic since that's my first attempt at Vannie and doesn't represent her current design?

>>28887756
I'm okay with this.

More art is good art.

>>28887753
>Getting so triggered simply by seeing a stallion being mentioned in a story that you have to call everyone who don't mind stallions shitpackers
How autistic are you?

>>28887777
You're still not fooling anyone.

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Seventh for best guard mares

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I love my mares, but I'm still hoping for a story with my favorite chick.

>>28887789
I hope Brave doesn't feel betrayed.

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>>28887777
>Trips Quads

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>>28887794
What would griffon guard armor look like?

>>28887802
Probably chainmail and leather in prominence because of their lighter physiology in comparison to ponies. Could see them wearing surcoats and shit.

>>28887797
I hope Blu does some awesome feels/happy combo. First beating us to near death with feels and then healing us with a threesome

What about the new writefags, we got pastebins for those? Really interested in both stories, but Invictus doesn't fucking link. Or he links and fucks it up.

> http://pastebin.com/UxazSV8F

Containment repository for anything I've posted in thread, including the first green for Anon Takes The Easy Way Out that ended up staying on Pastebin because I was a lazy faggot. Going to start linking posts to one another properly before I post. Guardmare(s) soon.

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>>28887834
You're psychic. Thanks. Have some horses.

>>28887766
I am working on something but I need some input from you guys.
what guard mare do you want to see getting raped?

>>28887855
This is a nice horse. Thanks, anon.

>>28887863
> asking this question
Probably Vannie or Brave, since they're the poster-horses of the thread.

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>>28887863

>>28887878
I'm going to call her Cinnamon.

>>28887870
>Respect lost. And filtered.

>>28887936
>having respect for a tripfag in the first place.

Guards! Protect the royal wiener!
>both guards salute and get to work
>one turns away from you to check for danger
>the other shoves your dick in his butt
>you're guessing he gets off to this
>after the threat is gone and busting a nut in the butt, he goes back to his post by your door
>you suspect he gets off to this

>>28887878
>>28887900
That's a cute mare and cute name

>>28887970
Back to your anally inflicted death syndrome thread that is homo horse.

>>28887983
He's shitposting, just hide his posts.

guards are fucking useless

>>28888129
You're just not using them right, dummy. Guards are useless at guarding, try cuddling and/or rape. RTFM, you should've gotten one with yours.

you guys ruined this general with all your autism

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>>28887863
>raped
oh my
I guess Careful or Brave

>>28887878
A LEAF

Is this the right thread?

>>28887863
I don't like you much.

>>28887863
Cuddlerape

>>28888210

I think one of those two is already willing to give it it, but Careful is a stuck up cunt that's just cuddling with Anon because she's not in heat so that might work.

>>28888251
Not if you want both mares and stallions, be it gay or lesbian or straight stuff.

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>>28888256

>>28887863

Fuck it, I'll go with Bulk Biceps. Because fuck you, that's why.

>>28887863
I wanna see this qt horse here >>28887878 getting raped by a leaf

>>28887863
Brave

>>28888299
Wind is blowing fiercely from behind
>blowing her tail to the side
>a large maple leaf moving quite rapidly smacks hard on her privates and wraps itself over them.
>guard pony proceeds to scrunch with the force of a thousand suns.

>>28888273
Who?

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>>28888375
>Bulk Biceps

I know he's not technically a Guard but if you're starting something new, might as well make him one.

>>28887919
>>28887936
They’re good characters, though it might want to be seen. Didn’t mean anything with that as any sort of message, at least.

That aside, you guys want me to keep writing for today? Got plenty of free time.

>>28888299
I will choose this mare
Brave or Careful would be too much feels for me to handle.

Don't expect a delivery today, it's going to be a comic, will draw out the rape post made by Anon in the last thread

I can maybe make a one shot for careful in the future

>>28888403
Oh shit

>>28888403

I thought that was a stallion.

>>28888393
He would be a damn awesome guard. At least when it comes to intimidating others.

You rape people are weird. I'd do things with enthusiastic young foals that would land me in poneprison and you people make me sick. I'm just as disappointed with woman as the next guy, but I don't get it. Specially pone. Y'all niggas need help or something.

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>>28888440
>I'd do things with enthusiastic young foals
>but I don't get it

How is that any different to rape?

>>28888458
they think It feels good vs they think it it feels really, really bad?

>>28888478

let's ignore all the psychological effect of that, huh?

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>>28888478

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>>28887802
I wish I had more, but this is the only armored griffon pic I have for some reason.
I'll look for more in the near future.

>>28887878
>her breath smells like sweet cinnamon and her mane like fresh warm maple syrup

>>28887900
>I'm going to call her Cinnamon.
Possible last names:
Sprinkles
Swirl
Whispers
Spice

>28887970
Don't give the literal faggot a (You), it doesn't deserve one.

>28888129
They're only useless when guarding something not worth guarding, aka (You)

Man, when did this thread start to attract so much shitposting?

>>28888530
It's just one fag shitting up the thread. Don't let him deceive you.

>>28888524
Oh yes, I think I like Cinnamon Spice.

>>28888530
What shitposting? How is wanting a general where both mares and stallions are allowed shitposting?

>>28888496
>>28888516

So nothing, huh? Alright then. Great discussion fellas. You rape people are still weird.

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>>28888585

>>28888625
Well, not THOSE rape people. Hell, I bought the fucking T-shirt.

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>>28887720
I just checked the fake thread to see the comments, and I have to say, I love you marefuckers.

>>28887777
You don't deserve those digits, go to HHH and then kill yourself in the shithole you crawled out of. We accept guardmares and male guards. We don't accept faggots. Stay out.

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>>28888976
o yeh bby

>>28889001
Careful is too cute.

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>>28889685
How bout Brave?

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>>28889001
>>28889693
>Vannie is the only one that doesn't have a pic of her getting some hot loving

>>28889710
Not yet. OH GREAT DRAWFAG, GET ON THIS!

>>28889726
Bump

>>28889741
what
it was page two

> It’s 3:00 in the morning.
> Within the last six months, your nose has either been in the books, or the dirt. The process has been grueling, overall.
> You were expected to push yourself to the brink of exhaustion— you didn’t expect any less for mandatory service. Not to mention, you sort of dug your own grave when it came to your suggestion in audience with the Princesses regarding your draft.
> You even made a few friends throughout those months of training. That reached a little farther when there were joint exercises between the two Corps, and soon enough you knew a few of the ponies whom were being sent up to Stalliongrad as well.
> Fortunately, your thoughts were somewhat relieved of the tension that lead you to give up and take the easy way out. You remembered why you did, nonetheless, but you felt much more like you had accomplished something, standing in rank for graduation. You were still much taller than these horses, mindfully, but . . . it felt right?
> You don’t know. It’s getting sappy.
> Though, now, things in Stalliongrad were coming to a stand-still. The opposition, the Germanes, were intent upon attrition: and they had the numbers and supply to maintain such a fight.
> The Violet Mistress had set sail from Baltimare, with a crew of three hundred and seventy five and a detachment of one hundred and twenty five. The ship was a ship of the line, with dark purple trim. The majority of it was composed of firm wood. Two hundred and twenty seven feet long, and 3500 tons.
> You’ve settled into the steerage— it wasn’t a particularly good accommodation, though you did have a bit of company on this low a deck.
> All you really needed was a hammock.
> It did take a bit for the Sun Corps detachment to ease up around you, but there was a distinct camaraderie within the Moon Corps that kept you at ease.
> You toss and turn in the net of the hammock, it wobbling a bit— it was the only good thing to sleep on that wasn’t half your size.

>>28889922
> A voice halts your tossing and turning, and you take a glance downwards.
> A white-pelted pony, with a brown mane and green eyes— and on their flank, a windrose trampstamp. They’re wearing a little frock jacket.
> This was the one of whom arrested you six months ago— Sergeant Silver Star.
> She was asking if you were awake. You two became fairly good friends whilst she was assisting one of the Sun Corps officers in training their personnel.
> Unlike the others, you remained at the bottom— an Enlist. Some made Petty Officer grades, but not you.
> “Anon?” Her words rouse you from your thoughts.
“What, Silver?” you ask, shifting on the hammock to sit up.
> The lower light of this deck made it easier to see without adjustment from sleeping for so long.
> “I brought you some food. Some of those leatherback freaks were a bit touchy in the galley—”
> “Right, right— sorry.” She sounds sheepish for a moment, but eases off.
> The unicorn shifts the tray on their back to you, enveloping it in their green magic.
> You slightly wonder as to whether or not it used to be blue, but elect to ignore it.
> A glance down at the tray at least peaked your interest. Smoked salmon and some blatantly “uncanned” vegetables.
> “How’ve you been, Anon?” You realize that Silver’s been staring up at you expectantly.
“Tired. Yourself?”
> “. . . Not so tired,” the horsecop settles on the floor.
“Really? I mean, after the mast took a hit on the way out of Baltimare, you did have to haul that back up.”
> “No reason to be tired.”
> She’s stubborn, you’ll give her that much.
“Something happen, whitecoat?”
> She turns her head away and rouses herself slightly. “If you’re going to be that way—“
“Calm down. All in good fun, right? What’s your issue, Silver?”
> The unicorn remains disgruntled, tipping her head downwards.
“Stop playing stubborn. Shouldn’t be getting riled up. Get up here.”

>>28889931
> After settling the tray of food aside, you reach your hand downwards. The hammock rests just above her horn— that’d be a painful lesson to learn if she was in a pranking mood.
> Silver’s been stern for quite some time. She veers a little away from your hand, before you lean over the edge of the hammock. It threatens to capsize you, but you manage to scoop up the small horse.
> She whinnies in objection and kicks a little as you haul her onto the hammock. More importantly, onto your lap.
“Told you to get up here. What’s on your mind?”
> She seems a little uncomfortable, though there’s nothing that you personally know of that might be bothering the unicorn.
> “It’s stupid.”
“Nah, what’s stupid is that you won’t tell me what’s going on—”
> “No, it’s really stupid,” she pleads. “Trust me.”
“I’ve known you for six months. You are hellishly stubborn— what’s on your mind? I’ll keep prying, if I have to.”
> “Celestia’s sake, are you really going to be this firm?”
“You interrupted my well-deserved rest.”
> She sighs.
> “That’s. . . good enough an explanation.”
> Her front hooves rest upon your stomach, whilst her haunches rest upon your thighs. The frock coat sways barely.
> “Some of the ponies in the detachment don’t really seem all that alright with you being around.”
> This isn’t anything new to you, given they’ve had the hardest time warming up to you. You at least fit in with the bat ponies— an odd statement. It’s kind of like fitting in with the Gothic kids at lunch simply because they’re willing to hear you out.
> You figure that it was something to do with the detachment that lead to you having to find lodging in the steerage.
> At least the hammock’s comfortable.
> “It kinda worries me, you know? Ardent is okay with you, but it seems like the higher brass are worried about you being around.”
“Alright? They can deal with it.”

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>>28887794
Here now shut up

http://pastebin.com/DjcskMyV

>>28889938
> Just like Silver can deal with you interrogating her whilst she’s four feet off the ground.
> Ardent Vanguard is a Knight-Lieutenant of the Sun Corps— a featherweight winged pony with a penchant for not knowing how in the fuck to fly. You have to give it to her, though: she keeps trying.
> They were particularly friendly, possibly due to their assignment as a liaison for the duration of the deployment to keep relations between the two units in check.
> When the Mistress’ mast fell on the way out of Baltimare, Ardent and Silver were the first two to try and help you get it up, alongside some of the bat ponies.
> Your attempt was in vain, though they all certainly helped. The only reason you were backing down into the steerage for a while was because you felt like you pulled something. Equestrian wood does not weigh less than real wood.
> After a yawn breaks past the horse’s lips, you’re also pulling Silver close and hauling your much larger frock coat overtop the two of you.
> “W— what are you doing, Anon?”
“You’re tired. I’m tired. It’s cold down here. Take a pick.”
> There’s no response of dissatisfaction. That’s probably why you elect to continue with snuggling the horsecop.
> “Y— you’re weird, you know that, jerk?”
“That hurts, Silver.”
> “. . . ugh. Sorry.”
> You stifle a chuckle.
“Shhh.”
> You were probably gonna get the ass end of whatever chores came up if the Captain came down to see you like this. But, you were tired, faintly hurt, and did not particularly give a damn.
> It certainly felt much better than moping around, and it wasn’t like Silver could object— you’re a bit larger than they are.

And yet, the band will not yield.

>>28888582
Because people are autistic.
I don't really see how having a male guard story is the end of the world.
At this point, it's civil war 2.0
>Stallion wanters are the union.
>Mare wanters are the CSA.
>Stallion people want to keep the thread into one general.
>Mare people are screeching like autists over it saying mare and keep telling the others to make their own thread.
Even if we did make our own thread, it'd get shit posted into oblivion.

>>28888585
HAHAHAHAHA I know right? They should fuck off to SiM if they want rape.

>>28889931
>SS
Wait a second

>>28890062
Horse schutzstaffel?

>>28890082
PoneSS? How about PSS (pronounced piss)? I'm trying here, help me out.

>>28890113
Bump

>>28882961
>You gently rub her underside with a hand.
>She really is a fluffy pony.
"You put yourself down too much, Vannie. The last thing you should be worrying about is what a bipedal caveman from the past-future thinks of you."
>She stays silent, aside from some soft, shuddery breaths.
>She flips over and lays her chest on you, slipping a hoof around you.
>"I don't care about anypony else... All I need is you."
>That catches you off guard a bit.
>You mean, a lot of things have so far, but this is definitely top three.
>This is one of the things that you imagine are easy to tell your ninth grade girlfriend through text, but to actually HEAR it in person, is entirely different.
>You can just feel how much she believes her own words.
>She lies her head on your chest, ears flopped over with another smile on her face.
>And though she looks a bit calm, you can feel her heart racing.
"You shouldn't just limit yourself to me, though. You deserve more."
>She shakes her head.
>"No more than I'm sure you can give me."
>More silence slips between you both.
>Another sigh leaves her.
>"I don't know what it is, exactly. Every time I see you, I just feel... happier. I realize now, that I've had that same exact feeling since I first saw you- I just never noticed or knew what it was, before..."
>Her eyes get watery again.
>"But I've never felt this way about somepony else in my entire life."
>She looks at the ground for a second, then back to you.
>"I-I don't want to make you feel weird or anything... but I know now, that no matter where I end up, or how... I'll be okay, as long as I'm with you."
>You're left speechless.
>You mean, hell, what do you even SAY after that?
>While you sit, dumbfounded, she sneaks in a quick peck of your cheek and hides behind her mane again, face flushed probably just as bad as yours.
>Never did you think you'd hear something like that, being told to you directly.
>Games- sure, shitty fanfiction- of course, but in person?
>Never.
>Yet, here you are.

>>28889922
Checked, and thanks for posting more of this story.

>>28890043
That's oddly accurate
>Mare wanters having a peaceful thread, CSA prosperity
>Stallion wanters start to shoehorn in their own shit, Union fucking with tariffs and overtaxing the CSA, as well as decreasing their representation in congress/senate
>Mare wanters, finally done with the shit, try and boot the homos out of their thread, the seperation of Union and CSA
>Union wins, because fags made it about zebra slavery when it was really economic fuckery
>200 years later, the people who wanted a thread about guardmares get remembered as racists forever

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>28889940
>Literally the most shit-tier choice of waifus
You don't deserve a (You)

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>>28890316
>>"I don't care about anypony else... All I need is you."
WEW
thats quite the statement

whats brave going to think about all this

>>28890516
>stallion in the story == story immediately assumed gay and belongs in /hhh/
Someone's got a problem. And it ain't the stallion guy.

>>28890316
Things are gonna be awkward with Brave unless herding is a thing.

>>28890621
>thread is called "guard mare"
>have a few threads no problem
>suddenly faggots want stallions
>told to make their own thread or go to the /hhh/ thread
>they refuse and throw a bitch fit
Hmmm...really makes you think

>>28890621
>second post into guard stallion story anon is already sucking his dick
>its not gay tho

>>28890642
Wasn't it about guards in general in the beginning?

Anyhow, where are stories with stallions in them are supposed to go? What if there is nothing gay in there? Still /hhh/ by the virtue of having males mentioned? This kind of shit legit irks me.
And both sides sound like triggered tumblr dykes which only makes it worse and way messier than necessary.

>>28890648
>guard stallion story
The ironic one?

>>28890642
>>28890648
>>28890621
>be some fag
>wander out of hhh
>see a guardmare thread
>only read 'guard'
>wander into that thread and start posting your faggot fantasies
>get told to leave
>wonder why people aren't accepting you happily
>passive aggressively complain about it

>>28890713
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28043855/
It was originally about cute guardmares

>Another day of Patrol with your partner, handsome guard stallion
>Hot sweaty petting and groping.
>Perfect man kiss
>Lift his tail and plow his tight ponut while taking in his manly musk.
>Plant your seed in his tailhole
>Get under him and help his flaring cock and balls empty all over your face.

Ooh baby. Im getting story ideas!

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>>28890760
You're really trying too hard and slipping into cringy territory.

>>28890760
Nice!
Take them to >>>/mlp/hhh

>>28890043
The only male guard story was specifically made to pander to the faggot general, the first thread may have been Guard general, but it changed to Guard Mare general because that is the preference. We already said, multiple times in fact, that male guards are fine here, its when they start going to pander to the faggot general that started shitposting here because they're thread is so insufferably shit that they try to take over here. You obviously just got here and have no idea what has been going on lately, or your one of the faggot general shitposters.

>>28890316
Good, happy herd with best batmare and bootyfull earthpony guards is on a role.

>>28890725
Never mind then, the faggots are just pulling more shit out their asses in an attempt to fuck with the thread.

>>28884702
>You have gone back downstairs and assembled an armada of peanut-butter celery stalks.
>It's nearly evening and a few snowflakes are beginning to fall outside, so you put on some hot chocolate, too.
>Careful comes down after fifteen minutes or so, wrapped in a warm, dry, blue towel like a hooded robe.
>You're reminded of the type of mysterious questgiver or shopkeeper you'd encounter in a role-playing game.
>What's visible of her face and legs is quite fluffy from a vigorous drying.

>"I smell cocoa."
"First snow of the season outside. Take a look. Thought I'd celebrate."
>She looks out the window, pressing her nose to the glass.
>Satisfied, she turns to you.
>"Gimme cocoa."
>You put the mugs on a platter with the celery and walk it to the coffee table by the fireplace.
>A fire you started earlier is dwindling but still going.
>You add a few logs to it while Careful situates herself and slurps her cocoa.

>She looks up at you as you get back on the couch, revealing a chocolate moustache from the drink.
>You can't suppress a grin while she sticks her tongue out and screws up her face to lick her upper lip.
>"And what are YOU laughing at?"
"You."
>"I shall make no apologies for my love of hot beverages."

>She puts her drink on the table and scooches up to you, getting under your arm and cuddling your side.
>"You did a lovely job with the fire."
"I like the old-fashioned hearths. More ambient than the radiators at my place."
>"You've had time to practice with them too. You haven't been home since... when?"
"Few days ago. Picked up some clothes. Not overstaying my welcome, am I?"
>"Naw. I like having you around. It's just... what do you do while I'm on duty?"
"Read. Clean. Go for... walks."
>Careful tilts her head.
"... wait for you to get back."

>>28890642
Division of generals is what killed /mlp/. If flutterrape stories hadn't accepted stories of the same format but protagonizing different "rapists" they wouldn't have grown enough to sustain their own general outside of AIE, likewise, the fat that we have so many AIE generals out there for every little specific promp is what left that and the draw thread a desolated, inhospitable dry land. Now, this is about cute mare guards, not anonymous, so it doesn't belong in AiE like most others, but branching out a little can make the difference between less than a hundred editions (most generals made after the scruffening) to over a thousand (AiE, FR, humanized and EQG -which are three/four generals combined-, etc.).
But the thread is young and I´m only here for the lewds so do what you want.

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>>28891303
Okay then, new species.

NO GAYS ALLOWED.

>>28891221
>"Read. Clean. Go for... walks."
Is he hunting? He's hunting isn't he.

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>>28890316
>"You shouldn't just limit yourself to me, though. You deserve more."
she deserves Brave too

>>28891362
This. New species allowed, gays stay in their hole where they belong. I will call in the gryphon fire hose team.

>>28891221
>Careful's taken a PB-celery bite and popped it in her mouth.
>She talks through the mouthful of crunchy goodness.
>"Hope you're not bored. I like having you here, but I dp want you to be happy, yanno."
"I'm pretty happy. Especially since I met you. But... maybe I could use more to do."
>There's a pause as she crunches away.
"So. Think I should find a job? Squander my precious New Citizen stipend?"
>"Ponies get bored of it, and there's no shortage of interesting things to work on in Canterlot."
"Might as well do something with my lazy ass."
>"Oh, not like that! You're not... I don't think you're a fixer-upper. I just wanna help. If you're not happy."
>You peck Careful on the cheek.
"Let's go on a walk this weekend. Show me around. Let's look for something I can do."
>She beams.
>"It's a plan!"

>You cuddle with Careful by the fire, sip your cocoa, and help yourself to a few PB celeries.
>Careful has touched surprisingly few.
>Usually, when she's hungry, she... well.
>She eats like an F5 tornado hitting a defenseless Kansas town.
>Never makes a mess, though.
>Very clean.
>It's kind of cute.
>... or cute enough that it outweighs "scary."

>>28891513
>No: her attention's on you tonight.
>Not the food.
>Like... REALLY on you.
>The gaze she's had on you for a few minutes... again, it's not an expression you've quite seen on her before.
>Sometimes, when you meet it, she shyly looks away for a moment, blushing, before looking back at you.

>You believe you know what this behavior calls for: belly scratches.
>You slip a hand under a fold of her tower, warm from the fire and her body heat, and get to work rubbing her sides and tummy.
>You do not get the reaction you expect.
>She likes it, to be sure.
>But, usually, she just relaxes, melts... lets you do your work.
>Tonight, she's... reciprocating.
>She's blushing heavily and nuzzling your neck, making little, affectionate noises.
>Kissing you, even giving you little licks.
>They leave cool patches on your neck that dissipate in the warmth of the room.

>Something occurs to you.
>You did actually take a walk.
>Today and the day before.
>And at no other time the past few weeks.
>Your earlier insinuation that you get out of Careful's place all the time... well, that may have been a white lie.
>You didn't want her to worry, after all.

>But, these past few days, you noticed something while you were out.
>You only needed a light jacket.
>The weather itself was cool, but it was a dry cold, the kind that comes once in a while accompanied not by a single cloud in the sky.
>The kind where you don't have to dress overly warm, because the sun...
>... the sun is radiant.

>>28891532
Did they ever return those books to Moondancer?

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>>28891542

>>28890316
In a world of cuddles I guess it makes sense that all it takes is one brief touch to a winking pussy to make a mare fall head over heels for a guy. Man, if you were a honest stallion who knew that great secret... Well shit, I wish I was. Have the qtest waifu and the most kids. Must make for super strong marriages too.

D'awww. Now I wish I was in horseland even harder...

>>28891542
Shh, don't spoil it. In the next part they're gonna drop everything they're doing and get on that.

>>28891532
Psst... She wants your D

>>28891532
>>You believe you know what this behavior calls for: belly scratches.
kek, this is Anon's twisted way of getting back at Careful

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>>28891532
Its time Anon. Careful is ready. Will you answer the call?

>>28891517
why the double post?>>28891532

>>28891532
Anon is spoiling her. I like it.

also
>You slip a hand under a fold of her tower.
kek
Guess this isn't just a guard MARE thread after all.

>>28891532
oh my

>>28891653
typo
>>28891682
FUCK

it's "towel," right.

everyone knows it's supposed to be "towel."

I hope.

>>28891698
Anons gonna have a tower of his own when he realizes whats going on.

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>>28891698
Don't worry. I understand.

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>>28891717
He knows exactly where he can hide that tower.

I hop on my phone's browser to see what's going on and holy hell, not only do we have a new thread but there's a bunch of new posts.
Are we coming back from the dead?

>>28891775
Yup, the faggot general trying to stir up shit got us some support after telling them to fuck off. Its a good feeling.

>>28891843
I'm glad to hear it.

I'm sitting in the break room thinking on what I could add to Cop anon in equestria that people would enjoy reading and a question popped into mind.
Have there been any greens where anon & co are exiled from equestria?

>>28891775
>>28891843
I dunno. It's all pretty much the same to me. We were just as active the last time this happened, so I don't know if you can really claim it as a victory as much as just an uptick in shitposting that results in more activity.

The only difference is that this time there's >>28887585 now and our writefags aren't dead for the weekend.

Don't let that put you off or anything though. We are alive an active, for sure.

>>28891878
I must have started posting during a slow spot then.
Either way I'm happy to see us alive and posting.

>>28891870
>anon and co are exiled from equestria
Not that I know of in this general. I remember something similar to that concept happening over in the Tech thread, but if your plan is to write a green with that concept here then you'll be fine.

>>28891945
An idea popped in my head involving anon doing something unpleasant in a moment of discordian influence and getting banished or imprisoned then escaping with help of his squad.
It probably wouldn't be a near chapter but if it has people's internet I'll definitely go that route.

>>28888524
I might just through you a bone in my next update senpai. Sorta fell off but hopefully later today I'll get something out.

>>28892232
>Throw*
Wow it's late. Also it auto'd senpai* wth

Remind from old OP who make the rule
>>28325017

>Rule for next Thread 4
>There's no stallion at royal guard here
>Only Royal guard mare
>Rape for only mare
>Stallion is pussy
>Post pastebin faggot

>>28890642
The first stallion post was just a guy suggesting shit.
>Suggest that we have a guard general
>Autists chimp out and start shit flinging.
>It's never going to stop unless one side is banned or the other gets their way.
I'm by no means siding with the stallion people, but it would probably mean more attention to the thread if it was GUARD general.

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>>28887832
>>28887720

I just got home from work so here's mine to add into the next listing.
http://pastebin.com/Q7viBeuf

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>>28892486
It WAS guard general before faggots tried to shove up our throats MALE __GAY__ GUARDS, not just MALE GUARDS.
So now it's MARE, so those faggots couldn't have a chance at masking their shit via "DUH DIS IS NOT GAY, ITS JUST ABOUT MUH STALLIONS", when the only story about stallion guard ended with cocksucking in like it's 50th line.

>>28892486
No, it wasn't just a prompt for a male guard, it devolved into faggot shit less than 5 post in, the writer quit when told this is a guardMARE thread and that faggot shit isn't wanted here, the thread has always been guardmare themed>>28890725
so the guard general thing is bullshit on the very idea of it, we have been here already so take your gay shit and get out. We have plenty of people here for guardmares, we don't need to lose our thread to a bunch of HHH pieces of shit trying to force their way in. Now you can go ahead and get the fuck out.

>>28892510
Based writefag.

>>28891532
You really left off at a very inconvenient point....

>an entire thread about non-canon shit

You never realize how oddly you think until you try to write a story using the words floofy and flowy.

>>28891221
>"... wait for you to get back."
I knew you'd use that line you magnificent writefriend

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>>28891532
this is getting good

I've decided to name this story "Chaos is the spice of life"

>>28886739
>standing in the doorway of the throne room you look around again.
>There are several heavily armored guards standing on either side of a long red carpet leading up to a set of stairs.
>located in the center of the uppermost step is a large wooden throne that's sole occupant is a large white horse with a white horn, a sun branded on her butt and a flowy, ice cream looking mane.
>You have this sudden craving for ice cream.
>Ooh! Even better, you want a ice cream shake.
>A image of a beautiful looking chocolate shake with a cherry on top pops into your mind. You can almost taste it.
>Actually, you're pretty sure that if you try hard enough you cou-
>Your thoughts are interrupted by a nudge from one of the door guards.
>You glare at the guard for interrupting your thoughts and it points in the direction of the throne.
>Your head is throbbing.
>Trying to downplay your discomfort, you shrug your shoulders and walk down the carpet stopping at the bottom of the steps.
>why is your head hurting?
>It feels like you're squashed in your own skull.
>Grrr...
>If that stupid horse did any damage while you were in the dungeons you're going to turn him into a bathmat.
>Not one of those floofy mats either, hes gonna be a ratty gas station mat.
>The pegasus shifts uncomfortably from side to side.
>You feel your chest itching so you absentmindedly scratch it before giving a heavy bow to the big horse and then to the pegasus.
>Ah yes, the tiny hyper one.
>You remember her. She lit up so beautifully when you hit her with the stun gun.
>Wait, what?
>Why did you remember it like that?
>No. Bad brain, we weren't thinking right and panicked. There was nothing beautiful about any of it.
>Are we sure anon?
>well now that you think of it...
>No. Stop it brain. What has gotten into you today?
>Your head is really hurting now.

>>28893193
>Did we remember to clean the lint trap before we left for work today?
>I do so hope we remembered to clean the lint trap.
>You hate it when linty stuff gets all over your things.
>Your thoughts are interrupted again by the sound of the white horse clearing her throat.
>You are getting very tired of these constant interruptions.
"Ah, yes. Please forgive me your majesty. Where are my manners today?"
>Princess Celestia looks at you and raises an eyebrow.
"You seem very distracted Mr. human. Are you feeling unwell?"
>Scratching at your chest again you stand up quickly and walk up the steps until you are just below her.
>Looking her directly in the eye you grin from ear to ear showing far too many teeth.
"Not at all your majesty. I am simply overwhelmed by the hospitality you showed me while I was resting in your dungeons."
>She looks at your teeth and then looks around nervously.
>Scooting back slightly she coughs into a hoof.
"*Ahem* Yes, well... we.. uh.. we had to make sure you weren't going to go on a rampage and hurt yourself or anypony else."
>You scratch your chin pretending to be in deep thought.
"Hmm.. I'm terribly sorry your highness but i haven't the slightest idea what your talking about."
>You kneel on the step putting you at eye level with the pegasus.
>You stare deeply into her emerald eyes while slowly inching closer
>Once your faces are mere inches apart, you boop her right in the snoot.
>She scrunches her face and takes a step back before glaring at you.
>Laughing you lean forward and boop her again.
"What about you sweetie? Do you have any idea what princess Celestia could be talking about?"
>She rubs her nose and does her best to hide her irritation.
"How can you not know! You did that thing and I felt funny and I couldn't move and everything hurt and.."

>You quickly stand up and laugh causing her to take another step back.
>Holy shit, why is everything so damn bright. You've had hangovers where things weren't nearly this bright.
>And swimmy. Why is your vision swimming?
>You put your hand on your head and groan.
>The pressure is getting worse and your stupid chest keeps itching.
>Celestia motions for the guards standing nearby to come forward and you soon find yourself surrounded by eight heavily armored ponies.
>Ponies who look ready to pile on you the moment you do anything slightly odd.
>Which given your current behavior could happen in any second.
>The pegasus however stays firmly rooted by the throne not wanting to get within arms reach of you again.
>Taking your hand away from your face you look around as if finally seeing your surroundings for the first time.
"Ugh... I'm sorry your majesty. I.. I don't know what got into me. I'm really not like this most of the time."
>Celestia raises a hoof again and the guardponies take a few steps while remaining on alert.
"Your behavior has been very concerning since you arrived here but I am not without compassion and understanding."
>No longer seeming quite so intimidated she descends the stairs and begins to circle you while studying your body.
"You call yourself a human but what are you exactly?"
>Now feeling awkward about being nearly naked you attempt to cover yourself up as much as possible.
"My name is anonymous but I prefer to go by Anon for short. My race is known as a human."
>Satisfied with her examination Celestia returns to her throne.
"Where are your kind from anon?"
"I'm from a city called New York. It's located in the united states of America."
>The princess looks puzzled.
"This America you speak of, I have not heard of it before. I know much of the surrounding lands so either you are from very far away..."
>Celestia puts on a stern face and looks you in the eye.
"...Or you are lying anonymous."

>>28893209
>The pain in your skull is reaching near unbearable levels and you can feel a trickle of blood dripping out of your nose.
>You whip your head back and laugh manically causing blood to splatter on Celestia's face.
"Heh heh heh... AH ha ha ha!"
>You throw your arms into the air and spin around while climbing the stairs.
>You are standing in front of Celestia now.
>You lean forward until you are close enough to feel the heat of her breath before smiling again.
>Her eyes widen and she sharpy inhales.
>That's right anon, these ponies SHOULD fear you.
>You can almost taste her fear.
>wait... You can. It's like somebody stuck a penny under your tongue.
>It tastes delicious.
>You slowly bring your hand to her face and gently drag your thumb across her cheek.
"Why my dear girl, you wound me. I am merely a visitor to your kingdom wrenched from my own lands by no actions of my own."
>You walk back over to where the pegasus is standing before kneeling in front of her again.
"This one here can attest to my story. After all, who throws themselves from a great height into the midst of a apple orchard for fun?"
>Celestia looks over at her and she nods slowly while never taking her eyes off of you.
"I shall send a group of guards over to where you were found. They shall investigate your claims and report back to me."
"But of course your majesty. I wouldn't ask for anything less."

>>28893217
"However your highness if I may request a boon from you?"
>She narrows her eyes before motioning you to continue.
"As I said before, I am a stranger to these lands with no place to go and nothing to call my own beyond these tattered clothes you see."
>Celestia considers your words for a moment before nodding her head.
"Once you have verified that my claims are true I request a place in this kingdom to stay as well as a job so that I can provide for myself"
>Several guards begin voicing their protest until Celestia raises a hoof silencing them.
"You ask of me quite a lot considering the circumstance we find yourselves in."
>Your chest is itching so badly it is starting to hurt.
>Celestia pauses for a second and looks back at you.
"You never went into detail anonymous, how exactly did you find yourself falling out of the sky?"
>You look around at everybody before focusing back on Celestia.
"Why Discord brought me here of course."
>As the words leave your mouth Celestia jumps back and every guard in the room, even the pegasus, piles on you.
>The pressure in your skull has become too much and you fall into darkness once again.

Why do I only see my errors AFTER I post everything?
I even forgot to link a few posts. I need to get to bed it seems.

>>28889947
>"seems like the higher brass are worried about you being around.”
Looks like it's front line duty. RIP

>>28890725
I don't see the word "mare" anywhere in that OP.
>tfw no qt guardpony to cuddle
Guardpony, not guardpony mare. Not to mention that both mare guards and stallion guards were in stories in that thread.

>>28893233
Anonymous having a second personality like The Mask? I am intrigued please continue when you can

>>28893659

I wonder if it will be the cute nice movie version or the bloody and gory as hell comic

>>28893659
So how come Anon, who could be gay if you write him being one, is allowed?

>>28893715
Because there are still guardmares.
We have a strict no-faggot policy.

>>28893729
>Implying Anon can't be a faggot who loves stallions

>>28893749
> Implying that you faggots are wanted here under any circumstances.
> The title of the thread is, and has been, "Royal Guard Mare".
> Faggots are illiterate.

>>28893762
Homos have always been a 'see what I want to see' kind of people.

>>28893233
You know what you did, so you can improve. Do continue it though.

>>28890316
I finally caught up with the last ~4000 lines of this. I dig it Anon, it made me laugh like fuck at some parts and depressed as shit at others. Keep it coming

this pone love triangle has me on the edge of my seat

>>28893715
Because he isn't doing anything to be remotely gay. If it turned gay then we would kick his ass to the curb. The only reason you shitposters are here is because WE DONT WANT YOU HERE!

>>28892546
>So now it's BAT
fixed it for ya.
>when the only story about stallion guard ended with cocksucking in like it's 50th line.
So you knew a story had stallions in it, yet you kept reading it instead of simply skipping it like any normal person would do?
>>28892549
How hard did you reeee while typing that?

>>28894438
Not much you illiterate faggot. Get out, you want homo guards, go back to your containment thread and make it there, the writefags wont pander to trash like you.

Invictus here. I'll post green tomorrow. Not medically sound right now. In case I fail to, or I'm out for Thanksgiving, enjoy your Thanksgiving and guard mares, and ignore homo horse posters. Have a bump.

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>>28894438
>So you knew a story had stallions in it
Since when having stallions in a story makes cocksucking scenes and other gay-shit a mandatory, care to tell me, you fucking moron?

>>28888403
Are you still doing this? Rapeanon here, I might write that out over a few posts.

Do we still want leafhorse, or should I do Vannie/Careful? Or a different pone?

>>28896286
We don't want any rape pone. Get out.

>>28896286
Leafhorse

>>28896362
He doesn't have to get out, he could write something else. But ya. This really isn't the thread for that sort of thing.

>>28890316

alright, because i feel like shit, and the new siege update came out, i might not get a post out tomorrow. im pretty damn sure i will, but in the case i dont, you'll all know why

>>28893951
y-you too

>Vannie rests back down on your chest and closes her eyes with a sigh.
>Though how her ears move, you're sure she's actually waiting for a response.
>So, you say exactly what's on your mind.
"I don't know how to respond to that without either sounded retarded, or just really inadequate."
>Slowly, she sits up and puts a hoof over your lips.
>"Then don't say anything."
>She wraps her forelegs around your neck and rests her head on your shoulder.
>Not before nuzzling you a bit, though.
>All the fuzz on her tickles your neck.
>And holy hell, is it soft.
>You mock her own actions and hug her.
>Then you pick up a sound nearby.
>Before your brain processes said sound, a hoof pulls open the curtain on your side.
>You and Vannie both snap to it, staring like a deer in headlights.
>A stallion and a mare just stop and stand there with the same expression.
>Well, the stallion's jaw is dropped, and the mare's got a hoof over her mouth, but the fundamentals are the same.
>Shock, and a whole lot of blushing.
>And it really doesn't take long to think about how this looks to these folks.
>A bat pony out of her armor, arms wrapped around a guy's neck while she sits on his lap.
>Yeah, it looks pretty terrible.
"W-we, th-the, I..."
>You have no idea what to say.
>Even more so than before.
>So instead, you just quietly grab the curtain from the stallion's grip, and pull it back to cover you both.
>And for a moment, almost everything stays still.
>Then finally, you hear hooves softly run away from the machine.
>Though the silence stays between you and Vannie.
>Her system reboots before you, and she throws you an embarrassed look, complete with crazy red cheeks.
>"...M-maybe, we should go back to the c-castle."
"-Agreed."

>>28896578
That made me smile.
Thanks Bluebird, you just made my shift much better.

That aside, can anybody point me in the direction of a moonpony to English translator? I'm working on a blurb from Luna but don't want to Fuck it up.

>>28896578
KEK

>>28896362
>>28896482
>Post idea once
>"unf" "please write"
>Suggest expanding it
>"We don't want rape"
Sometimes this board confuses me.

>>28897322
We got a lot a gay shitposters lately. Go ask them if they want rape shit.

>>28896286
yes I am still doing this

>>28896578
so sweet

>>28897431
noice

>>28896578
Minuette is spying as well. Count on it.

>>28891532
"C-Careful?"
>"Mmm?"
"Feelin' alright?"
>"I feel... really good," she says, punctuating it with a kiss right under your ear. "I thought after all this time maybe YOU can use a... belly rub."
>She sneaks a hoof under your shirt and strokes your chest.
>"Hee. Fuzzy."

>Does... is she... ?
>A lump rises in your throat.
>Your heart races.
>Lub dub.
>Lub-dub.
>LUBDUBLUBDUBLUB-

>-wait.
>D-don't jump to conclusions.
>Don't presume.
>You can find an explanation.
>You can solve the mystery.
>You've read Sherlock Holmes.
>J-just look at her expression.
>You can read a lot from a pony's...

>... oh.
>Oh Lord.

>So, Careful loves to give you bedroom eyes to beckon you up for bedtime.
>It's something you look forward to every night.
>That heavy, partially-lidded gaze, a little nod toward the stairs...
>... and some comfy, good-ass snuggles in bed.

>The expression she's giving you now makes her usual bedroom eyes look innocent by comparison.
>Her face is flushed.
>Her lips are ever-so-slightly parted, begging you to lean in and meet them with your own.
>Her eyes... her pupils are wide and deep with desire: two inscrutable, dark singularities.

>Lastly, you realize, the fire in the hearth isn't going as strong as you thought it was.
>The utter warmth and comfort you feel is rolling off Careful in waves.

>You've ruled out the impossible, Sherlock.
>Whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
"Careful... Are you in... ?"
>She nods.
>"We've had a few days of sun. You notice? We usually get to see it one more time like this before winter hits in earnest."
"Enough for... how long?"
>"Long enough."
>She kisses you.
>"I like to think Celestia knows what she's doing."

>Exerting every muscle in your body to keep your hand from shaking, you move to stroke her back, removing her warm, blue towel in the process.
>The lovely red socks she's wearing under it surprise you almost as much as the lacy panties of the same color.

>>28897693
>socks
>panties
UNNFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
not sure if careful can survive this dicking

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>>28897693
OH MY
HERE WE GO
IT IS TIME

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>>28897693
Make me fill a jar like this cat.

>>28897693
Come on, don't leave us hanging like this.

>>28897693
Holy fuck

>>28897693
Do not. You are already living in sin. Make sure she is aware that you must remain chaste until marriage.

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>>28897921
Fuuuuuuuuck yoooooooou.

>>28897693
Now you've done it. No goin' back now.

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>>28897693
Its fucking happening.
I'm so fucking ready.
Lets DOOOO IIIIIT

>>28897693
Fucking hell, man, what the fuck? So is she going to give Anon dat booty only when the freaking weather is right and turn him away the rest of the time? It sucks, she should either "provide" not only when she wants, or fuck off with any advances at all.

>>28897693
Tell her the truth. You've been enjoying stallion cock behind her back and that your cock is only for hot sweaty boipussi

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>>28898158

I don't know man their culture is just a little too different to be forcing human the view of sex in.

If i really cared about her happiness I wouldn't be understanding about our differences. Though if she knew anon's desires/needs it would be nice for her to give it up a few time out of season just because she wants to keep him happy.

Then again I am kind older and my sex drive is not what it use to be. Thank god.

little OT but
I also like to think that growing up is the reason for the decreased number of ">rape" responses in general, board wide.

>>28898190
This.

>>28898205
I don't think getting laid by the human shedule could be any unhealthy for a pony, only tiring at worst, yet vise versa is harmful for anon's one eyed snake and hairy nuts, unless hes over 50.

>>28898344
Forget anon, it's gonna be harmful for us.

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>>28896578
Don't go herd route. Tis not befetting of a healthy earth mare like Brave

>>28898529
I herd that tis was not true.

>>28898648
FUG! I did not intend to use the trip! Pls kill la kill me.

>>28898240
>>28898190
Get out, you shits have HHH your not wanted here.

>>28898529
>>28898650
how about we just kill both of you>>28898648

>>28898205
I still wish to see all the qt guard mares in socks and panties. Someone pls.

>>28896578
nice

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>>28897693
>The lovely red socks she's wearing under it surprise you almost as much as the lacy panties of the same color.
>almost as much as the lacy panties of the same color.
>the lacy panties of the same color.
>lacy panties
Toppest uf

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>>28898648
>>28898650
>not knowing how to delete posts

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happy bat bump

>>28899751
>Batcancer bump
>Not mare bump
And people here say that batfags haven't ruined this thread with their shit.

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>>28899807
back to your >>28887585 thread

>>28899807
>still being this ass blasted
>being this autistic

>>28899828
Can someone explain to me the origin of this image? Like I know it's from Overmeme, but is there something more to it, or is it literally Ana gving away a free (You)?

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>>28897693
>>"I like to think Celestia knows what she's doing."
That sounds exactly like something Celly would do

>>28899831
>Batfags posts their fanmade stuff everywhere
>Nobody cares
>Meanwhile, one writer writing one single story where one stallion is gay is enough to trigger every sensitive person in the world

>>28899935
Vannie:
- Royal Guard
- Mare
Gay Stallion:
- Royal Guard
- Mare

The requirements for this thread are not met

>>28899935
>the autist is an actual faggot
cant make this shit up

>>28899953
damn I had some cool unicode for this one but forgot that it's not supported, I guess you win fag

Get for I WANNA FUCK BRAVE, CAREFUL, AND VANNIE IN ONE BIG GUARD ORGY.

Get the fuck out of my thread, gayfags.

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>>28900000

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>>28900000
The chosen one as spoken.

>>28900000
>>28899935
You heard the man.
Leave.

>>28900000
>Only mares are allowed
>Being so damn sensitive that merely mentioning a stallion is enough to trigger you
>Doesn't matter if they're gay or not, the guards being males is enough

>>28900040
It's too late, the numbers have spoken.

You have to go back.

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>>28900000

The DIGITS have spoken. Fuck off forever, fudge-packers. Trump wills it so.

>>28900071
DIGITS < everyone on /mlp/.

>>28900040
>>28900081
Looky here you fucking faggot.

GET. OUT.
NO. ONE. WANTS. YOU. HERE.

>>28900081
Ya know, if you didn't take it up the ass so much, you wouldn't be so butt-hurt all the time. Just sayin'.

>>28900102
Actually, shouldn't the prolonged practise of taking it up the ass make him used to being this butthurt?

>>28900126
Depends on how rough he likes it, I imagine.

>>28900102
Says the one who gets autismally triggered the second a stallion is mentioned in a story he can't ignore for reasons unkown.
We all know why he can't ignore those stories.

>>28900137
>no u
wew

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>>28900000
The hero we needed. Now, where's the orgy?

>>28900160
Prove me wrong.

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>>28900233
blu literally just mentioned a stallion in the last post, and nobody reacted badly. there's a difference between going to a bar full of guys, and a bar full of gays.

always resorting to what you just said is sad, because you've also got no proof that what you said is true.

the only triggered one is you, son.

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>>28900295
im on YOUR side, mate
im responding to that fag, fag
why else would i post qt bat?

>>28900307
Whoops.

>>28900233
This thread is Guard MARES because guard mares are cute.

This thread is not just guards. Stallion guards are not cute, therefor we do not want them here.

Fucking STOP, seriously. Just go to your shitty clone thread and stop bugging us.

>>28900295
I'll stop you there, for the sake of semantics. This thread is called guardmares because you have guardsmen in real life. And since man and mare sound very similar, it's one of those "lol so clever" names like Manehattan that got horsed up. This is the only reason why this thread is called such.

>>28900279
>because you've also got no proof that what you said is true
A lot of you basically raided that other Guard thread where both mares and stallions are allowed.
And this entire thread right now is pretty much proof that batfags have made this their new home.

>>28900321
>This thread is called guardmares because you have guardsmen in real life. And since man and mare sound very similar, it's one of those "lol so clever" names like Manehattan that got horsed up.

...No. No it's not. It's not about guard stories of war, training, drills etc. It's a thread of silly guard mare romance and fun.

>>28900327
Except for the 3 or so greens that were literally dealing with war? One of which is probably still ongoing? Those ones?

>>28900279
This
>>28900295
Nah, focus is on the mares but male guards are fine so long as the faggots stay out.

>>28900333
Please, link them. Because I don't see and haven't seen any.

Do I need to link you to https://docs.google.com/document/d/1anLrDxG9gEKl5kOBm6w1R-VVRRjWTtejPnFq6iyd3P4/edit?usp=sharing

There is every green from this thread, made by me. You sure you're in the right thread?

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>>28900322
we're not even talking about bats, anon. quit changing the subject. but, if you want to play that card, you should know that liking one character doesn't mean you fucking like everything about them

for instance, say you like Gabby. that doesnt mean you like every goddamn griffon in the show ever.

it means you like Gabby.

but please, cry harder

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>>28900350
Before anything, I want everyone reading to take a step back. This faggot just said that a "Guardsmares" stories is not about being a mare in the Royal Guard and the duties that go with it. He said that this is about cute mares who at the beginning of the story maybe were involved with the guard as an excuse to writing a shitty self insert clopfic. This is what this thread has become. This what all this shitsorm of autism has led to.

You want examples, here they are:
IG whatever, a story about an imperial guard made and trained by Anon. They found a fucking 30mm Bofors flak cannon in AJ's garden or something.
One of the new-found tripfags is writing about literally 80 or so Anons being sent to northern front to help a contigent of royal guard fighting the Yaks or something.
One other newfag held a vote about his anon joining soviet ponies to fight jews.
I've been in this thread since it started. Your shitty memedoc does not impress me, so try again.

I have just one wish - go take this autistic crap somewhere else. I dunno, set up a Discord server or something, and start flinging shit there. This used to be a comfy thread with comfy stories. Now it's 80% of 2 containment generals arguing which one is more cancer.

I hope anon chooses to fuck vannie just to piss you autistic fuckers off even more

>>28900412
I hope anon choose to fuck my gaping anus just to piss you straight fuckers off even more

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>>28900455
kek

>>28900455
Explains why you're assravaged lol

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>>28900214

>>28900491
u-unf
now enter player 3

>>28900491
Yes, post more fanmade batponies.

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>>28900491
I really do appreciate you sticking with us and providing some (very good) content. I know you don't actually get anything out of doing this but you really are appreciated and acknowledged.

>>28900504
What the hell is your problem? Some guy goes out of his way, with his own free-time and skills to make art for this thread and all you can say is 'fuck batponies!111!!!!'?! You're a cancer.

>>28900491
It's good.

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I hope Blu writes his Anon to go with Minuette alone to piss off every singe last person in this thread

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>>28900491

>>28900524
I hope brave and vannie get together and cuck anon into oblivion

>>28900512
thank you, sweet posts like these are all i need. I am glad if i can bring some joy to others and I enjoy this thread a lot and the stories in it. If my art brings some motivation to the writefriends then I did my job well

>>28900537
You're doing gods work, keep it up

>>28900534
I hope they get together with cinnamon and cuck anon with that leaf just to piss of all of /mlp/

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>>28900524
Post it again
This time with more salt

>>28900491
Now put Anon's cock in the middle of the bottom picture. Extra sloppy please.

>>28900534
>>28900546
And now fucking marital problems is getting in on the shitposting? I always knew you fuckers were in league with HHH.

>>28900739
>le cuck general meme
Do not speak poorly of the dead Anon. Especially not if you are a faggot

>>28900849
I am not one of the faggots, but the cuck thread is trash that should have been burned a long time ago. This slow death they have is painful to watch to even my shriveled heart, and I hate their entire premise. Just put the bastards out of their misery.

>>28900877
You liked getting cucked dontcha anon?Q

>>28900885
What part of what I said implied that? Wait, don't answer that, you just one of the HHH faggots shitposting aren't you? Get out you illiterate fucks, your shit is not wanted in this clean thread.

>>28887878
I can't tell if the brown/cream/orange body markings are meant to be her coat colors or fabric that's part of the armor.

>>28900929
Fuck you, I never even thought about that, just enjoyed a cute picture. Now I will be bothered by this question every time I see this cutie. Well, at least until we see her with her armor off.

>>28900739
>>28900877
>>28900896
Are you seriously this damn sensitive? Or are you just trolling? Either way, keep bitching like this about everything, and soon nothing will be allowed here if you get to decide.

>>28900949
Are you still talking about this? I thought Trump told you to fuck off forever.

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>>28900877
>cuck thread
> I hate their entire premise
You never understood the premise it seems

>>28900943
Well I can end your bothering, but it will come at the cost of terrible knowledge. Which do you prefer?

>>28901015
>Which do you prefer?
Stallions.

>>28900949
>Are you seriously this damn sensitive? Or are you just trolling? Either way, keep bitching like this about everything, and soon nothing will be allowed here if you get to decide.
Pot calling the kettle black: the post
Ayy lamo

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>>28901015
Well, fuck. Just do it. But first, take this, maybe it will make you soften the blow.

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>>28901053
Well, I dug through this artist's gallery and the good news is those are very definitely her natural colors. Definitely top QT.

The bad news is, the artist has a small mountain of soul-scarring anthro furry shit, including of this particular character. Seriously, I'm pretty sure a small part of me died finding this out for you so I hope you're happy.

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>>28901053
>>28901067
the discovery just makes my insides cringe

>>28900534
Vannie and brave anon cucks careful anon and has a three way with careful and minuette

There no no ones happy

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>>28901067
Well, she's still qt. Thank you anon, you brought me peace. Well, relative. Now the temptation is there to check out the gallery. How bad could it be?

>>28900491
>Careful watches nervously from behind a piece of furniture that does not even remotely conceal her

>>28900491
but why

>>28901187
Because herds are the new hot meme on the block

what if brave and vannie had huge futa cocks and pounded anons tight boy pussy? Would that be gay still or nah?

>>28901212
It's only gay if their balls touch

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ITT: faggots fighting like 8 year old faggots. I mean, really now, you could do so much better than this. It isn't even flinging shit anymore.

>>28901387
so which one is the woman

>>28900491
I like your ponies' eyes.

>>28901212
>>28901226
Kill yourselves faggots.

>>28901088
That has nothing to do with the conversation, go back to your thread marital problems. We have enough of the HHH trying to have their way shitposting in the thread as is.

>>28901548
Falseflaggin samefag

>>28900949
>Wondering why people are mad at a bunch of faggots trying to push their shit onto the guardmare thread.
You must have been fucked in the ass too hard one to many times haven't you? Getting a concussion from being pounded into a wall kills brain cells you know. We have already said time and time again that male guard stories are accepted here, hell the writefags for a few of them just gave up and quit after awhile even while their were people wanting more(RIP Guard Anon), the reason we hate you fuckers is that you think we want faggots stories, if you want to write a story here with a male guard, fine, but keep the faggot shit to yourselves. The so called writefag you pieces of shit sent over had fag shit less then 5 posts in, that was when we kicked his ass out if he didn't stop. So get the fuck out and go back to your thread if you want that shit.
>>28901571
>Implying that the entire thread with the exception of your fellow HHH shitposters don't hate you.
You were dropped on your head as a child weren't you?

>>28901591
>We have already said time and time again that male guard stories are accepted here
>Royal Guard Mare
Does not compute.

>>28901718
If you don't know how to read the pastebin list for all the writefags that had male guards in this thread then I guess your just broken in the head.

>>28901748
Still, doesn't sound like male guards would be welcome here.

>>28901758
What part of this>>28901591
and this>>28888995
and this >>28901631
and we said it a few more times in the last thread. Only the HHH faggots have been saying that we don't want ANY male guards, with idiots like you falling for it. Congrats dumbass for helping the invading faggots.

i still want careful in the mare orgy

>>28887878
> It is to her credit that the guardspony manages to keep herself unheard until she is nearly on top of you.
> Later you would conclude that she must have had some enchantment placed on her armor, that you did not hear her hoofsteps or the clinking of her plate as she approached.
> But at the moment, the doorknob's turn is the only warning you get; it's opening squeal a moment later is a sign that it is already far too late.
> You're already stiff as a board, adrenaline flooding your system where you crouch - your open bag at your side.
> Even so you freeze into utter stillness as the streetlamps' flickering glow floods in through the opening door.
> "Hey!"
> It's a mare, judging by the voice.
> "Hey, you there - don't you move!"
> Subtly shifting, you try and turn your head just enough to catch a glimpse of who is yelling at you.
> As you'd been afraid, it was a Royal Guard - her armor gleaming in the flames' light.
> She stands legs spread in a wary stance, one clutching a spear half-pointed at you.
> Thankfully your cloak rendered you down to - you hoped - an indistinct grey lump, even with the room's slight illumination.
> "You're - you're under arrest, by the law of our Princesses Celestia and Luna. For breaking and trespassing, and-"
> Her eyes flick down to the open sack at your side.
> "-attempted theft. Do you understand?"
"...yes."
> Deliberately you keep your voice low, folding your legs beneath yourself.
> "Then - then get up. You're going to come with me down to the guard station for - hey!"
> She takes one step forward, her first real one int the room.
> "Did you hear me? Get up, thief!"
> Spear dropping to aim in your direction, she takes another few careful steps forward.
> The wood flooring creaks with every movement she makes.
> "I - I'm armed. And I-I'm an Earth Pony too; if you're thinking of trying to get past me, I can assure you that you won't."

>>28902245
> If not for the barely-detectable tremble in her voice, the claim would have a lot more weight behind it.
> Creak, creak - each step bringing her closer to you.
> Just a little further...
> "You're going to face justice, so there's no point to-oooo..."
> Abruptly you rise, twisting in place, to your full height.
> Up, up, and up her head rises - eyes going wide as she comes to realize just how tall you are.
"Hey there, little guard."
> "He-"
> She catches herself, again dropping the spear to center it on your chest.
> "-eeewooooah. Stop right there."
> You do.
> "G-Good. Now, put your hands out in front of you, slowly."
> This, too, you do - holding them out loosely in front of you.
> The guardsmare twists her head around, reaching for something in her saddlebags and giving you a good glimpse of her in the light streaming in through the door.
> Shining bronze plate had masked her true coat colors, a nicely-complementing orange that faded to darker brown around her hooves, muzzle, and ears.
> Not entirely hidden by the plate, a patch of creamy coat run stomach to throat; one light-green eye was kept firmly locked on you as she nosed through her bag.
> A fan of coppery mane bursts from the top of the helmet, which you might have thought to be fake except for that her tail bears the same hues.
"Lost something, little guard?"
> The amusement in your voice produces a dark scowl from her.
> "Shut up. You're not allowed to talk; you're under arrest."
"Am I."
> "Yes, and as soon as I get these-"
> For just the briefest fraction of a second both eyes shift down to focus on her saddlebags.
> And in that moment, you strike.
> Hands snap out to wrap around the spear shaft; gripping fiercely, you twist and wrest it from her grasp.
> The armored mare, you admit, has good reflexes even under the bulk of her plate and helmet.
> She leaps aside, refusing to let you sweep her hooves from beneath her with the spear's shaft.

>>28902252

> Unfortunately for her, that was not your real goal.
> Leaping for the door, your drive it shut - having just enough time to throw a latch into its catch before something pointedly nudges at the small of your back.
> "That's just enough of that, criminal! No more moves from you, do you understand me?"
"Hmm. Good recovery there, little guard."
> Turning around, you eye the blade now centered on your chest.
> She had actually gotten back to her hooves and recovered the weapon far faster than you expected.
> "I - I'm not little. You're just..."
"Tall?"
> Taking one step forward, you reach up to grasp the spear's shaft and push it back, preventing it's point from pressing into your clothes.
> She gets the message, taking a rapid step back.
> "T-That's enough. I'm going to get these cuffs out, and you're going to put them on. Got it!"
> Though the closed door had cut off the streetlamps' light, reducing the house to the barest glow filtering in through the covered windows that only just showed her outline, it didn't hide her nervous tone.
"Huge?"
> Another step forward, and another step back.
"Towering? Colossal?"
> "I-I'm not- I mean - don't-"
> You continue driving her back, right up until hits the foot of a chair, concealed in the dark.
> With a squeak and a tumble she is down on her haunches, armor creaking as plates rub against each other, leaving you alone holding the weapon.
> A final few steps, and you're right in front of the guard - squatting down in front of her indistinct form, hulking over her even so.
"Overwhelming?"
> "D-Don't touch m-me-"
> But you do, reaching out to grab at where you expect her helm would be.
> She lets out a little gasp as you seize a fistfull of mane; a hoof is pressed against you, but only lightly as she has suddenly discovered the pointed tip of her own spear digging into her unprotected throat.
"Why not, little guard?"

>>28902263

> The tremble was not just limited to her voice now; the sound of her armor jostling makes it painfully apparent that her legs are shaking fiercely.
> "B-Because assaulting a R-Royal Guard is a crime p-punishable-"
> Dropping the spear, you reach down and slip your arms around her.
> That proves to be a poor idea; as she had told you, she was an earth pony and by planting all four hooves on your chest and pushing she is able to quickly break out of your grasp.
> Unfortunately, she landed square on her haunches - sprawling as her armor dragged her down.
> The second time you grab her, you're quite certain to make sure it is so that she is facing away from you - legs wiggling futilely in mid-air as she struggles from your grasp.
"You shouldn't struggle so much. You're a very pretty mare."
> "What - what does that mean?!"
"It means-"
> Fumbling beneath her belly, you're able to find the straps that hold the armor to her barrel.
> Releasing them proves to be relatively simple - probably meant so that a pony could do it with just her mouth - the mare goes rigid as you're able to loosen the plates from her flanks.
> Perhaps the peril of her situation has finally hit home.
"-it means, you shouldn't go bursting into houses alone when you think there might be some evil, nasty criminals in there..."
> You're practically whispering in her ear, and you can feel her shiver as your breath rushes off her brown-coated ears.
> One such ear flicks, a silky brush against your cheek.
> "I a-am a Royal Guard-"
"I know what you are, little guard. Or maybe you're trying to remind yourself?"
> "Don't call me that!"
"Oh?"
> Despite her small size the mare's bulk is considerable.
> Finding a chair large enough it was probably meant for two ponies, you seat yourself with a grin.
> She lets out a little whine, hind hooves scrape against your thighs as she frustratedly struggles for some kind of leverage against you.
"Well then what's your name, little guard?"
> "C-Cinnamon..."

>>28902263
> Leaning back, you pull the helmet off her head.
> It takes a bit to pull her mane through the gap at the top, especially in the nearly-darkened room, but you manage.
> The reward is a burst of hair that you can bury your nose in, taking a long draw of air through your nostrils.
> Her scent is, unsurprisingly, the spicy whiff of her namesake seasoning - but also a slight hint of sweat and oiled metal, no bronze, no doubt from the armor you had just set aside.
"Okay then, Cinnamon. Tell me this: If there's a punishment for touching a Royal Guard... then what is the punishment for this?"
> "For whaaaaaeeeee!"
> She squeals as your fingers dip below her tail, seeking out the gap produced when you loosened the armor covering her body.
> "No - nononono!"
> With renewed vigor Cinnamon begins to mightily struggle, writing in your arms with legs kicking and head thrashing.
> Laughing softly, you take a grip on the edge of the armor and pull it entirely free of her - slipping it from between the two of you to fall to the floor.
> Now you could feel her haunches pressing into your lap, the slight swell of her dock on your groin and her back to your belly and chest.
> "I - I can't..."
"Get away? Fight back?"
> Shifting up your other hand, you put it just beneath her chin - feeling the velvety coat of that creamy patch on her throat.
"I told you that you were a pretty mare. That it was a bad idea to struggle."
> "I don't want-"
> No chance is given to finish that sentence.
> Again your fingers dive down beneath her tail.
> There, however, they are treated to another unexpected surprise.
"Wow, Cinnamon... are you wearing panties?"
> Though you cannot see her, the warmth that floods her cheeks is plenty easy to feel as you hold her pressed back against you.
"I thought that was a part of your armor, but you really are!"
> Chuckling softly, you stroke the sleek fabric where it covers her.

>>28902276
"Such a naughty little guard, on patrol all day long with such dirty things on underneath her armor."
> "It's n-not a choice! The armor chafes; it's the o-only way to-"
"Are you sure about that? Are you sure it's not how you feel, knowing no pony has any idea what you're wearing? The proud, armored guard in all her gleaming armor... none of them knowing how dirty she really is."
> Now unburdened by having to slip beneath the armor plate covering her rump, your fingers are free to dip beneath the sheer fabric explore the mare fullly.
> And that they do, tracing the swollen edge of her sex up to the crinkled but that sits just atop it.
> "Nooooo..."
> Cinnamon's cry is more one of desperation than protest or anger now, and you can hear the tears building in her voice.
> Teasingly, delicately, your fingertip slip between her lips - running up and down, up and down, ever deeper into her with each pass.
> "S-Stop... please..."
"Why ask me?"
> Pausing a moment, you answer your own question:
"Is it, maybe, because you're all out alone? A single guardsmare, starting her patrol for the night?"
> "N-Nooo..."
> Her words say one thing, despairing tone another.
> Foolish of them to patrol alone - but then, this wasn't exactly a crime-ridden part of town; far from it, in fact.
> Withdrawing from Cinnamon a moment, you run your hands down the mare's body - feeling her contours, her swells and dips, gaining a mental picture of her form.
> She must have been a relatively pure-blooded Earth mare.
> None of the lithe, compact build of a pegasus or the slender, almost willowlike unicorn body there.
> You could feel the cords of muscle beneath her smooth coat, strong Earth strength hidden by a silken-haired exterior.
> Well-built hips support strong, forceful legs.
"See, I have a bit of a problem. You saw my face, so I can't exactly let you just run back out. And, I figure, as long as I have to take you down... well, I might as well get my fun out of it as well."