Reversed Gender Roles Equestria.

>the spook is real

>>28782040
Anon goes for a jog at night.
Gets jumped by masked mares and raped.

>Anon and mare friend are costume for Nightmare Night
>Costume involves mare getting a piggy-back ride from Anon
>Mare gets to rub her scent all over Anon and get her ass groped
>Spoop

>>28782103
Literally no downside to this.

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>"Anon quickly, there is no time! In order to save all of Equestria you must release your seed inside of me!"

>>28782116
>>Spoop
too scary to turn into green

>>28782148
see
>>28782126

>rainbow dress up as skeleton
>flies around spooping ponies
"rainbow, skeletons don't fly"
>she glare
>"you stupe"
>"is scariest skeleton of all"
>is true

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you fucking idiot the link enables you to edit the doc.
pic related

>>28782184
Well, shit.

> Anon dresses up as a cowboy, spurs, hat, the whole thing
> Pony ancestral memory stirs
> Apples fall down in worship of their returning master
> Anon rides around on Big Mac
> Mares overheating at the dominance play between two stallions
> Police mares gently suggest Anon's costume is too racy for public use
> He doesn't quite get what they mean, compliments them on their police costumes and tousles their manes
> The flustered ponicemares threaten him with velvet hoofcuffs (because bare metal ones are too cruel)
> Anon vaguely gets that he is too sexy and happily agrees to go off with these mares
> Funtimesattheponicestation.wemb

>Anon puts together a simple costume
>It's just a paper mache mask and an old blanket-turned-cape
>Poners are seriously spooked
>None of them recognize him, they all just scream and run away
>Princess Luna confronts the 'horrible monster' and banishes him to tartarus
>The next morning, Anon is missing
>Poners think the monster took him
>RIP in piece
>Meanwhile Anon has become Tirek's buttslut in tartarus

>>28782417
You mean Tirek has become Anon's bottom bitch.

Tirek ain't got shit for magic, he's just a scrawny little baby man now.

>>28782417
*anon makes tirek his buttslut

>>28782040
>anon explores the world going from land to land
>each country or city he gose to he gets more followers
>because it's dangerous for a colt to travel alone or with those people, I must go with him to keep him safe
>over time he gets 10-20 of each sapient race in the world about 300 in total
>he fucks them a lot
>he stops in some long forgotten corner of the world
>along with his followers
>he builds a small nation
>with his knowledge of tech his nation becomes that of legend
>1000s of years go by and a new anon pops up
>he fells an unusual desire to travel the world
>will he find the lost city of Anontis?

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>>28782417
>Luna enters tartarus to confront the monster.
>Anon takes off his mask and reveals it's him.
>Luna is shocked.
>"This can't be, art thou truly like us?"
>Thinks Anon has an alter-ego like her Nightmare Moon.
>Assumes he's still in the throes of madness.
>Vows to reform him, without Celestia's or Twilight's help, to prove that she's changed.
>She might be projecting a lot onto Anon,

From there either they get closer and Anon acts reformed, or he gets too into being spoopy and brings out the Nightmare Moon side of her, and then she tries to court him.

>>28782502
I would read this. Especially if the writer made the size difference between Anon and Luna the same as your pic.

>>28782502
Or maybe Anon sneaks into Luna's bedroom and secretly glues a mask onto her face so that Celestia gives her a taste of her own banish-flavored medicine.

>>28782502
This sounds adorable. Please.

>>28782103
>They wear Ski Masks on their plots

>>28782734
>Masked mares try and crawl away from Anon's insatiable sexual appetite
>Anon drags them back

>>28782162
spoop

>Anon wandering Canterlot castle one evening
>Sneaks into Celestia's room, marveling at the lack of security
>Hears her talking strangely, like she's reading outloud
>"And then Anonymous buried his hands into Celestia's tuft and rubbed."
>Catches Celestia writing erotic fiction about him and her

>>28782193
Revoke the link through Google docs then paste the read only link here.

>>28782905
I want to see this.......really badly.

>>28783207
>You up and wrap your arms around Celestia, burying your hands in her chest fur and rubbing
>Celestia gasps and goes stiff in your arms, dropping her quill and parchment.
"And then what did he do, Celestia?"
>"Anonymous!?"
>Her tuft is so warm and thick you're worried you'll lose your hand in it.
>Celestia seems torn between pulling away and pushing her back into your chest, and so she settles on wriggling slightly.
>"How did you - oh goodness, your - Is this really happening?"
>You keep one hand in her tuft and allow the other to slide down so that you can rub her tummy.
"You tell me."

>Anon and Rainbow Dash are friends
>Something happens and the two get into a huge fight where Rainbow says something suitably sexist and offensive
>Anon decides to go camping for a week to cool down
>Doesn't tell anyone because I'm not very good at this
>Rainbow goes to his house around noon the next day to apologize and finds out he's not there
>His house is empty and his personal effects are gone
>"I've driven Anon out of town. Sweet Celestia, I'm becoming my mother!"

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>>28782417
It wasn't even a good costume

>>28783337
>Meanwhile, in the Everfree, Anon is having a blast.
>Sure there's weird bugs and plants and shit, but it's fun.

The google doc is being torn apart.

>>28783619
YOURE TEARING ME APART

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>>28783630

>>28783619
>letting the google doc be edited by anybody
GREAT FUCKING GOOGALY MOGGALY SCOTT WHO LET THIS HAPPEN

aaaaaand the google doc's contents have been deleted.

>>28783679
Now it's back to normal. Too bad - I was hoping that every single would would have, eventually, been replaced with "nigger"

>>28783679
>>28783689
good thing i keep a copy.

>>28783698
That was you?

>>28783698
some writefags might have to update the doc because the copy i have is a little old.

>>28783702
yeah. i stopped his shitposting and restored it last time this happend to. always keep a copy on hand.

>>28783711
I'm split. On the one hand, I'm glad you kept a copy. On the other hand, it had been exciting to see where the doc was going.

>>28783719
no where good thats where. last time he typed a capital "R" in bold deleted all content wrote ten capital "E"s in bold copied it and pasted it so many times i think his computer crashed. so i out shitposted him and restored it.

>>28783730
Good man.

>>28783730
I still want to read "Nigger Nigger Guard", "The Love Nigger", and BrandNewWritefag's "Sea Nigger shorts"

>>28783774
>Nigger Words
Like horse words only with ebonics

>>28783843
I was going to say Ebola.

>>28783895
kek

>>28782417
How is Anon gonna become Tirek's buttslut when he's so spooky looking?

It would only be natural that one as spooky such as him would become a top dog in Tartarus, if not the Top bitch himself.

>Trixie is a master of Illusion magic.
>She runs the most feared haunted house attraction in Equestria.
>Many of the horrors within are actually ideas she gets from Anon and his world.

>>28784277
>Anon and Trixie working together to create the scariest haunted house possible
>Twilight hears about it from all the terrified ponies
>Automatically assume Anon is kept there terrified by Trixie because colts can't handle spooks
>Que shenanigans and terrified horses as she gets the mane 6 together to go through the house to "save" Anon

>>28784277
>he gets to help run it
>she puts illusions on him to make him absolutely terrifying
>like ponies freezing in place after spotting him and breaking down into tears terrifying

The google doc archive got spooked

>>28784501
>Be Anon in Equestria
>You are the founder of the world's foremost technology company, Acme.
>Your search engines have revolutionised computer science, since ponies now have computers on which to search for things.
>Tonight is pony halloween, the spookiest of nights.
>You are staying late to oversee the deployment of your new document service, Acme Documents.
>It's ready to deploy in its first phase, as a computer office suite along with an accompanying online component.
>Phase two is still in development, but your engineers are making good progress on magical remote document scanning.
>But one step at a time.
>Most ponies are out being scared, but your staff are here in your operations center late, being as dedicated to this as you are.
>All that remains is to pull the big lever and send out the magm-
>No that's not scheduled until mid-next-year, there's still a lot of drilling to do in known deer habitats.
>You glance at the clock
>It's late o'clock
>Okay, pull the OTHER lever, the one that's actually wired up to do something
>You pull the lever
>Across the world, machines respond.
>Servers spin up their decorative spinny bits and begin permitting access to the online delivery and storage, having been powered up and running idle until now.
>Emails are added to message queues, announcing and offering your newest innovation.
>Only a few ponies are at their computers ready to read them, but users begin to send requests for the software, which are duly accepted by your very fancy servers along with the much greater number of plain boring ones that are not set up to show off to the media.
>One of these users happens to be a NEET skeleton pony, at home because she was not invited to any nightmare night parties.
>She finds it easy to use and posts about it on her blog.
>Some other socially stunted spooks read the post, and also give your office suite a try.
>Soon there are hundreds of assorted ghouls, ghosts, goblins and other scary types interested.

>>28784805
>They write a wide variety of things, but it is generally being used to write spooky things by them.
>These spooky things are posted and shared, causing a cascade of interest.
>In the background, your servers are collecting copies of everything they have written, helpfully guarding against accidental deletion.
>Having such a large amount of spook concentrated digitally in such a short time has some unexpected side effects however.
>Racks begin to rattle, the hum of cooling systems changes tone into an eery wail.
>You do not notice this, having delegated management of each datacenter to teams of well-trained competant ponies.
>And one team in particular, in the Manehatten west side site, are in for a surprise.

>Be Watchful Gaze, security guard in a nondescript Manehatten building.
>You drew the short straw and are working the late shift on Nightmare Night.
>The other gals are off partying while you have to patrol instead.
>You've made it halfway through one of the loud halls of machinery when you hear a scraping noise.
>That's not normal, you'd better check it out.

>>28784827
Fuck I don't know how to continue this properly
>Guard follows sounds
>Finds strange technoskeleton pony made from the remains of a bunch of computer gear
>Is spooked
>Rattlerattle?

>>28784925
>It looks like the illegitimate ponified lovechild of Johnny 5 and a Terminator, born in a Radioshack.

>>28784940
It's not even remotely RGRE, but for some reason, I could see Johnny 5 fitting in rather well in Equestria. Twiggles would be jealous of how fast he can read.

>>28784948
Robo-husbando

>>28782116
anon and rainbow, banjo kazooie

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>>28758933
I tried to do it fast. Wasn't fast enough. But still

>>28785079
Unf, bare Bomshell tuft.

>>28783669
the same moron who thought a google doc was a good idea in the first place.

OK, After writing that little bit I took the initiative to make a fucking pastebin for rgre

http://pastebin.com/zevg9RyQ

There is work do be done, getting pastebin links for the stories themselves and all rgre stories in bins as I was not about to scrape them myself right now, and story descriptions.

This also has the elegance of not being fucked with by any one person, being nicer to look at overall, not as much of a pain in the ass to use, and easily forkable if anyone wants to update.

That said, If there is a writer/trustable person to host a version and make revisions to it so only one bin ever needs to be made, that would be great.

>>28785180
Oh, one more thing on this note, Any active writers who want to, can you link this comment and put your stories in

name - bin (if you can last update)
description

I can pound out a 2.0 bin around post 400~

If not, I'll scrape the bins at some point for info.

>>28785180
Oi m8. I ain't dead yet. I've got a story waiting for me to finish the final touches. brandnewwritefag even helped edit it.

>>28785407
I just went off the last non fucked with gdoc, got the first .1 update though

>>28782905
>>28783246

i remember someone had done this before months ago

We don't have any ANNIVERSARY!?
Do we?

>>28785802
No, you were un loved child who honestly w ehave forgotten about your inception, so rejoice you don't have to deal with bothersome parties and false praises about you being born.

The other writefags in the Illuminati are refusing to do spiderpones.
Instead they want snakes.
Fine.
I'll write snakes.

>Be Anon in Equestria
>It's a land of brightly coloured magical talking giant snakes.
>Pinkie Pie, who is not actually a pie but really a snake, teleported you here when she screwed up a spell.
>You've been staying with a snake called Caramel, who is apparently related to the farmer snakes who live out on the farm a bit out of town.
>Next week the town princess, Princess Twilight Sparkle (No, you do not understand why a town needs a princess.) is going to take you to visit some of her princess friends who live on a mountain you can see in the distance.
>Twilight has been very interested in you, asking all sorts of questions like "How can you balance on those long spindly limbs?" and "Why are you wearing so many clothes"
>She tried to offer you a room in her castle, but the other snakes in the town decided it was improper for you to stay with her.
>Which is how you met Caramel.
>He's a bit weird, but not too bad of a roommate.
>You think he might be one of those homosexuals that are all the rage with the trendy sorts back home.
>So far he hasn't propositioned you, or at least you don't think he has.
>Snake body language is tricky.

>>28785861
>Snake
>Not snek
Disappoint.

Spides are coming eventually.

>Anon gets drunk
>Licks Bon Bon's cutie mark
>They are now legally married
>The equivalent of a fat man who eats too much candy is about to lose her V card

>>28785861
>snakes
I like scorpion and snake. and some other animal.
like spider and bird. god, it like they're from disney and MLP canon.

Thank HeliAnon.

>>28785180
It's about time, thank you for finally doing it

>>28785861
>Chilling in bed enjoying a nice rest after a hard day at work
>Man this is great, sure you're former skills as a mechanic aren't of use with a preindustrial civilization, but you can make some mean brownies for the Sugarcube Corner place.
>It's nice, makes you think your gonna die of diaubeetus though.
>That said you take a deep breath turning a bit in your bed before your eyes slowly creak open
>That was weird.
>You could have sworn you felt your blanket wrap around your leg...
>Sending a hand to investigate you blindly grope around for the odd feeling.
>"A-ahh~"
>...
>Your leg shouldn't be making a moan
>Matter of fact it shouldn't be making noises period.
>Mildly concerned you pull the blanket up and peek down below.
>What greets you is not the single eyed trouser snake you remembered.
>Instead there are two bright blue eyes that crinkle at you in delight as a small pink tongue flits out at you, "Moooorning Anon, sssleep well?"
"Pinkie..."
>"Yesss?"
"Why are you in my bed around my leg?"
>Pinkie's eyes dart to and fro as her tongue flicks out again to wipe the sweat drawing on her lip.
>"I was, needing a...bed buddy?"
"Pinkie, we've talked about this, personal space!"
>Pinkie hisses back at you eyes narrowing with a pout, "But you're so /warm/! How can I even resisssst!?"
"You have a bed! And a heat lamp! Use them!"
>"It's not the ssssame!"
>You simply let the blanket drop over the mare turned snake.
"Why in the world did Twilight have to practice snek spells I will never know..."

>"Twilight do I have to?"
>"Yes Spike, how else am I going to win the cosplay contest at Trottingham if I don't bring full authenticity to the outfit? Now tilts your head just so..."

>You shiver feeling your internal weeb cry at the shit tastes others have before shrugging it off to sleep.
>"Ssso I can ssstay?"
>Reaching down you simply pat the snek.
"Just lemme sleep, and don't wrap my neck up!"
>"Okie dokie!"

>>28786386
snek/snek would snek again

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Would whoever is doing this please stop? You're not funny. I'm actually trying to regularly update the doc and you people are doing shit like pic related and then just leaving it.

>>28786489
make sure only the wrightfags can edit it. hes not going to stop otherwise.

>>28786507
This, basically. It's like, what did you expect when the ability to edit was given to anyone?

>>28786386
>When the clock starts to ring you blindly reach over to silence it.
>Your arm feels heavier.
>Looking over you find that Snek Pinkie had moved to your arm instead of your leg.
>Silly snek that's for arm things, not for snek bed.
>Granted your body in general is not for bed, but that doesn't stop her that's for sure.
>Yawning you stretch abit and feel as Pinkie starts to curl a bit tighter around your arm from the movement.
"Cmon Pinks, time to get up yanno."
>"Mmrmble, I'm already up..."
>Looking at her position you do indeed find she is up above you from your stretch.
>You simply give her a little scratch behind the head.
"Your a silly, come we gotta get dem cakes cooking after all."
>"Mm...if we have to..."

>You start to get dressed making sure to grab a extra large shirt so that Pinkie would have room to move in.
>As the cloth settles around you Pinkie gives a hiss of satisfaction, "Yesss."
>Tramping down the stairs you make adjustments to your clothes as Pinkie curls around your chest like a bandaloir of ammo in Rambo.
"Pinkie you know you're gonna need to get off me eventually right?"
>"D'aw, but itsss ssso nice in here!"
"Pinkie please."
>Walking into the kitchen you start to get the prep done for the day's baking.
>With some added help of course as Pinkie would stretch herself out like an extra arm to help grab something or to nudge over an ingredient
>Like clock work the routine settles in over the two of you as you work.
>Though the Pinkie's form might have changed it still doesn't stop her from being a premier baker as you assist her.
>As you set the oven to bake now, you turn back to ask Pinkie for when the cakes will wake up only to find her gone.
>You know she had slithered off you to get something with the flour, but where did she?
"Pinkie?"
>Drawing closer to the flour bags you find that there is quite a few that are left open.
>Peeking your head in looking over the rest you start to close them up

>>28786532
I bet you're the fucker that did this
The doc was actually fine like for most of the year

>>28786533
>"Surprise!"
"JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!"
>You fall back as Pinkie's snek head pops out from the flour back like a demented gummy worm of hell.
>Hearing a giggle coming from the snek you see her curled up in laughter that comes out in small hisses.
>"Sesesesse Oh Anon you were ssso ssscared!"
"Pinkie that wasn't funny, you nut ball!"
>Pinkie simply flits her tongue out at you in laughter while you can't help the smile that comes from her own laughter getting to you.
"Ah jeez, Pinkie, never change you silly mare."
>"Daw thanksss Anon!" Pinkie says as she slithers over to you and covers you with flour as she wraps you up.
>"Heheh now you look like a ghost!"
>You roll your eyes before raising your hands out, "Boo."
>Pinkie simple hisses some more before she nods her head toward the oven, "Don't forget the cakes!"
"Right right."

>Anon runs a foal-sitting service
>Some pegasus lets him take care of their little kid
>Pone-kid is too young to be separated from their parents
>Gets Anon's scent on it
>Pegasi-parents won't take it back now
>Anon is now a """proud""" father

>>28786550
You got me, great detective work. I was just saying, why would the internet pass up a chance to fuck something up? It was fine until >>28782184 said something and brought attention to how anybody could edit it.

>>28786587
That is how pretty much things are working in black ghettos, or as i has been informed.

>>28786647
>black ghettos

>>28786647
so just ghettos then?

>>28785079
Delicious flat floof

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Would you faggots stop with the /pol/lution of my fucking magic horse board?

Keep politics out of this fucking place.

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>>28787165
I just want to talk about horses, you dumb memeposter.

>>28787188
First of all how dare you

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>>28787188
All horses are my waifus, so if my waifu a shit then so is yours.

>>28787201
>more then one waifu
>you're trying to lay claim to all ponies
BLASPHEMY

>>28787214
>more than one waifu
>laifu = ruined

>>28787106
I really want to preen a pegasus.

>>28787285
This. Mares want a pure, virginal groom on their wedding day.

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>>28787214
>>28787240
>>28787285
>>28787321
You cannot stop me. My love for the pony plot cannot be restrained by simple concepts such as monogamy.

ALL HE HORSE BUTTS WLL BE MINE.

>>28787285
>You sigh
"Look, Rarity-"
>Rarity, Rarara and Rrrrrr all look over at you at once
>"Darling, you have to be more specific" Rrrrrr responds
"The *good* one."
>"Yes?" they reply in unison, batting their eyes at you
>Ugh
>It's true, you got 3 waifu wishes when you rubbed that genie off
>And marshmallow ponut was what was on your mind...
>But it's too much of a good thing
>3 Diamondbacks
>3 Fashions
>3 Ambush Marshmallows
>3 wonderful, amazing, terrifyingly cockhungry mares
>You look out the window, overtaken in a fit of male whimsy
>Idly you nod at the poor bastard who wished for 3 Twifus
>He's trapped in a giant gyroscope which has escaped whatever testing lab it came from again and is rampaging through town
"Sigh~"

>>28787344
>The man who wished for 3 Fluttershaifus is just perpetually covered in animal shit

>>28787344
>>3 Ambush Marshmallows
kek

>>28786532
Spoken like a True someone who hasn't been around the block yet. non editable always dies eventually. So long as the edits can be reversed who cares? EVENTUALLY the vandal will realize it is stupid and boring and move on (also if this hadn't been turned into a big deal it would just blow over)

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>>28787362
First of all, you're a faggot.

Second of all, he'd be covered in feathers from pegasus cuddle piling.

>>28787362
>He likes it

>>28786386
Pinky snek hiss at penis

>>28787344
>Rrrrrr
My back!

>>28787725
lmao faggot
literally a model

>>28787344
About fucking time now those are the words I believe would be the ones i would actually use. and I think i would actually talk just that way because has gotten enough from the bullshit i keeps hearing about but doesnt understand a word. also someone go put there a DOC
monitor so i can watch records of these stupid shit actions that have been going on. I bet faggot would shit out so many
that reality would shatter and everybody would be small pink ponys.

>>28787756
>inexplicable tears
I hate this meme

>>28787796
I'm not autistic I just don't like you.

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>"Incognito! Tell this knock-off princess who you love more."
>Yes, Incognito. Please enlighten us as to who could go BUCK themselves."
>You looked at both 'Lestia and 'Bestia
>They were looking back angrily at you, brows furrowed and snozzles scrunched
>"Tell us who's better with helping her subjects with matters of friendship."
>"Better yet, up don't you tell us who looks more regal?"
>"What about tuft size, my dear? Whose is bigger."
>'Lestia scoffs
>"Please, he doesn't need to answer THAT," she said," waving a hoof dismissively
>'Bestia nodded
>"You're right. There isn't ANY question who has the nicest tuft."
>"Or the biggest, juiciest rump."
>"Or wings that can made a stallion EXPLODE with just a touch, don't forget that."
>"If we can't forget that then we mustn't forget who can such a golfball through a garden hose."
>Both alicorns glared at each other before looking at you with a smile
>"Isn't that right, Incognito?" they said at the same time
>You just stood there sweating
>...
>You should have never rubbed off that genie...

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>>28787833
Keep me out of thi-

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>>28787833
its perfect

yessss

“You don't think I'm weird?”
>“I don’t know. I just… I like you. I think you’re pretty handsome, and your scent really stuck in my mind. I like how kind you are to your friend. As soon as I looked in your bag last night I knew you’d been working hard to make a foal’s Hearth's Warming…”

>>28787833
Love it.

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>Clone waifu?
>Cloning and personality??
Ok first of all... this is some kind new fetish? because i realllly enjoying it.

>>28787965
anything can be a fetish friendo. but yes its a fetish.

>Anon must have a herd due to new laws and overprotective Twiggles
>Who totally doesn't want to be in a herd with anon ha ha why do you think about that?
>[nervous Twibutt sounds]
>Anon just went to Mirror pool with his waifu and came back with waifu's
>Pinkie is totally not hiding now from Twi using her Pinkie Sence for telling Anon about Mirror pool

And this waifu is...

>>28788079
Pinkie.

>>28788105
It's the perfect crime......

>>28788079
Many Celestia's.

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>>28788079
It's me!

> Celestia distributes her personality traits among three bodies
> Queen Celestia, very dignified, somewhat motherly, easily flustered by Anon's amorous advances
> Professor Celestia, slightly absent-minded, rather curious, comfiest book buddy, enjoys teaching younger ponies, ie everypony
> Femme Fatale Celestia, loves to seduce Anon, play pranks on ponies, fluster Twilight, has thousands of years of /d/egenerate theory to test out.

>>28788211
THE POWWWWWWEEEEEEEERRRRR

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>tfw no pony stallion can fill your BBC (Big Black Cunt)
>tfw mares call you 'zigger' and burn solar crosses in your yard
>tfw no hot humbando to cuddle after a long day of alchemy

>>28788509

once stallions get the right to vote they'll make sure you and your kind are never without a pony cock.

>>28788105
Do a story now

>Anon uses the Mirror Pool himself

>>28789863
That could go to explain how you get many anon in equestria story.

Though that raises some strange questions about human genetics if they can breed with ponies...

Oh wait the bad thing about the mirror pool was that it took the worst traits of the subject and made it about three times as worse...

So...shit flinging Anons in Equestria?

>>28790190
>Oh wait the bad thing about the mirror pool was that it took the worst traits of the subject and made it about three times as worse...
crossed anon

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>>28782425
Makes me think about the heavy and some of the cosmetics.

>>28790190
I thought it was more an exact physical copy but the mind was like it was copied from memory by someone who wasn't paying attention. Or like a fanfic or poor imitation. So you end up with a copy of of copy etc with each having a different incomplete personally, that personality will fill in over time and you end up with a bunch of assholes

>>28790190
>>28790304
Doesn't line up if that's the thing.
Pretty much, Anon's traits will be over when their grand grand childs get together.
Making it like a 6% of inbreeding.
When they get grand grand foals, Anon's blood like will die because no diversification of the first genoma in the place.
Anon will have humans or foal in the first time, his kids have the 1/2 chance of that and his grand kids 1/4, then his grand grand kids a 1/8, and so on and so for.

>>28790978
Isn't a breeding population for a species require something like around 20,000 or more individuals for a viable breeding pool? So you could try to breed the kids of that into something, but then you run into the same issue of the same strand being reused over the generations.

>tfw you'd be the equivalent of that one ugly girl in rgr equestria
>the one stallions shittalk behind your back and no mare really wants anything to do with
search your feelings
you know it to be true

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>>28791035
Only because ponies would not be attracted to humans.

I'm beautiful, baby.

>>28791100
>live in a world of pones
>none of them are attracted to humans
doesnt matter how beautiful you are baby

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>>28791173
There are always exceptions, and besides, there are others things to fuck.

>>28791227
>minotaurs find you too scrawny and weak
>griffons find your lack of talons laughable
>changelings simply stuff you in a pod and you're never heard from again

>>28791035
>>28791173
>>28791302
>"This next song, uh - thank you, thanks..."
>"This next song is about how sad I am."
>"It's really sad."
>"And it's called sad."
>sad piano music

>>28791385
so sad

>>28791385
Someone's a Bo fan.

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>>28791227
I want to fuck a cow

>>28792062
but i eat those

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>>28792062
Whoa

You should really not tell me where to find more of that

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>"According to this tax form, Anon is... 30 years old?! Sweet Celestia, that's almost as old as Granny Sparkle was when she died!"
>"I've been dating an elderly stallion. I... I sucked his... His... Oh, Luna's teats, I'm gonna barf!"

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>>28792096
Does that mean Sunbutt and her sister are into wizards?

i-is there hope?

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>>28792096
Sounds like it's time to go have some fun with Celestia and Luna.

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>>28792062
DO IT NOW.

>>28792159
I want to milk her.

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>>28792096
>Twi thinks she is fugging a grandpa in his 20s - 30s.
>Panics.
>Then learns that humans just live to be 80, 90, maybe even 100 with good medicine.
>In a surprising turn, that's the rough lifespan for alicorns who weren't naturally born.
>Panic turns to relief once she learns that they'll be able to grow old together rather than her outliving him.

>>28792096
What would Ponies see years as?
Like a year to us is a full rotation around the sun, but the sun rotates them daily.
What if they saw years as we saw days and thought Anon was actually a child when he told them how old he was.

>>28792250
But then that just brings about the depressing 'mayfly ponies' concept.

>>28792279
It's not depressing, just stupid. Pony lifespans measured in weeks or months? Really?

>>28792250
>day is a year
luna was only on the moon for ~3 years

i mean it still sucked, but that's a cakewalk next o 1000 years

>>28792250
I was thinking more that when Anon tells them he's 30 years old, due to the sun fuckery they think of years as days and believe Anon to be only 30 days old.
I just want scared horses accidentally thinking they lusted after a child before Anon clears the whole thing up.

>>28792409
it would only take as long as the correlation between the 4 seasons which ponies have to years

you might have something if pone seasons are way shorter tho

>>28792250
>sun rotates them daily

How about instead of "mayfly ponies" it's actually that an Equestria year is different than an Earth year. Like say it's closer to 1/3 of what our years are. Like instead of 365 days they measure their years in full one hundreds.

So in their years, an Anon who is between 20-30 is 60-90. And in our years Luna was on the Moon between 300-400 years.

>>28792534
This seems reasonable and fun to play with.
Not happening, bucko

>Page 7
Don't scare me like that, RGRE!

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>>28793055

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>>28793069

Oh my god the whole fucking google doc is gone

>>28793140
Ok stop. shup up the fuck up.
also
>repost
>It can be unexpected, how a friendship can start
>Who knew we could share so much from worlds far apart?
>In the midst of one stormy night, we found comfort together
>And continue to find it every day in all kinds of weather

>And we watch the moonrise on the hilltop you and I
>And we watch the moonrise with the starlight in our eyes
>And I don’t know how to say just how much you mean to me in every way
>But I know that I can always trust in you

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>>28793069

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>>28793181
>Anon and Bomby fuck
>In the heat of the moment, Anon tells Bombshell sweet nothings in Russian which is related to Taurish
>Bomby gets Taurian War flashbacks while under Anon
>"Aaaa! Fuck you, cows! Zhivj'em ne vozmj'ete! For Celestia!!"
>Starts buckin and generally trying to dislodge Anon and get away.
>Rodeo.avi

>>28793243
>The day after, Bombshell confides that it was the best fuck
>Every fuck is accompanied by flashbacks
>Nothing bad happens

>>28793251
>But each high is not as good as the last
>After the twentieth time, Anon and Bomby hire tauresses to roleplay as Minoan Special Forces surrounding their bedroom and preparing to attack.
>"Petrovna, sboku, sboku zahodee!"
>Is best fuck yet.
>Thankfully, Anon started recording the Minoans' and after 5 sessions they have enough material to just cycle it.
>All is good and Anon saved lots of moneys.
>(even if it was surprisingly cheap)

>Later, the tauresses approach them and offer to do it for free.
>The service was so cheap because the show was good

>>28792534

What about the opposite? What if ponies are like turtles and live hundreds of years?

>Sudden, deadly silence when Anon says humans mostly live about 80 years
>Human Husbando will die well before you

>>28793243
>>28793251
>>28793275
I need it, I need more of that. Please, it's glorious stuff

>>28793295
RGRE GONE WRONG!

>>28793314
Not possible.
Bce пpoeбaли

>>28793353
Bce пoлимepы дo eдинoгo?

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Posting pic for Pencil

>>28787833
>Anon, looks them dead in the eyes.
"Trial by sex, winner is the one who can still move, they get their ponut destroyed by me"
>"What about the looser"
"She goes second when mobile"

>>28788079
"Ok sunbutt, you say i can ask for anything? go to the mirror pool, bring back 4 more celestia's, i will stick my arms elbow deep in 2 and knee deep in two more, and you will ride me while they walk us around canterlot for all to see"
>Its at moments like this that celestia looses all knowledge of what to feel, but at the same time is glad, as she lived for thousands of years, but still new things happen to her.
>No one told luna, and she thought it was a parade, she got up close to see it.

Hey everyone, not sure if anyone would remember but I did a bit of an EQG RGRE one or two threads ago which everyone, and myself, agreed needed some work. Just writing this to say that I've lost the motivation to continue and I will go back to lurking. I actually did a bit of writing before in this thread but felt like I had become so rusty that namefagging again would be bad in some way, don't exactly know why but that just might be my anxiety talking.

Regardless, I do hope you all have a lovely day and that despite how often I lose these threads. Seeing some of the writefags I've enjoyed seeing still going brings a smile to my face. Sincerely Slownon.

>>28793780
goodbye unnamed faggot. its sad to see another go (even if your writing needed some work). come back if you feel the itch to write rgre.

>>28793780
>not using name when you should
>being literally this much of an @anxiety@-riddled retard
Oh wait, I do it too. shit.
Ok, welcome back to the nameless masses. Let's gang up on one of the writefags or smth

>>28793911
Thanks, I was expecting some shitposting or something but that brought a small smile to my face. But we can gang up and read what the writefags are posting, since it's always interesting to see what people can write up.....except when it is edgelord bullshit.

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Hey, I got more Dazzle

>>28794237
>"Hey, Caramel? Is there anymore of this yummy wine cooler?”
>"Someone turn this up! It's my JAM!"
>"I'm telling you, Roseluck is the THIRSTIEST! The other day she was hanging around outside the guys locker room and--"
>"Hand me some of those chips. Fuck muh diet!"
>You couldn't help but smile as you looked around your bedroom
>It was about eight o'clock on a Friday night
>School had been out since Thursday because of two consecutive act-eighty days in a row
>Your parents were off somewhere down in Florida for a business trip/vacation getaway
>Your big sister was out in Dodge City with her friends doing whatever community college students did
>She wouldn't be home until Monday, just like your parents
>This meant that you were alone
>You could do anything that you wanted
>You were free
>So, with a long weekend ahead of you, you had decided to do the best thing that came to mind
>Mother. Fucking. Sleepover. Extravaganza.
>Three days of hanging out with the boys, talking, giving yourselves makeovers, and drinking those AMAZING wine coolers that Thunderlane's mom got for you whenever you asked
>The pervy old lady
>There was you, Norman, Flash, Thunderlane, Big Mac, and your man of the hour, Anonymous
>Also known as the HARDEST man in the WORLD to get to come to a sleepover
>It had taken days of planning to get him here
>You and the fellas had hounded him in school at every opportunity, begging and pleading
>Thunderlane, at one point, had even tried to bribe him
>He must have told you no a hundred times, his resting bitch-face game strong as he stared each and every one of you down
>But you had been determined
>Anon needed to get out, have a little fun!
>He needed to be around men
>Talk and have fun with them
>It wasn't healthy to be cooped up with his girlfriends all day every day like he always was

>>28794255
>So you had asked and asked and asked again until Anonymous had broken down and agreed to come
>And here he was, propped up on about two dozen pillows, a mineral paste covering his face and cucumbers over his eyes
>His toes and fingers were being seen to by Flash, who had a scraper and some lotion at the ready, as he talked Anon's ear off about something or another
>Sitting beside him, with an extra-long silly straw that he had gotten from SOMEWHERE, was a half-full pitcher of red wine cooler slushy that you had made yourself
>You didn't know WHY he wanted the pitcher, but when you tried to take it off of him--so you could give him a normal glass-- he nearly bit you
>...
>So... he got to keep the whole pitcher...
>Lack of manners aside, a certain pride fills you as you look the guy over
>You don't think that you've ever seen him that relaxed
>There wasn't an ounce of tension in his body
>His breathing was slow and steady
>You might have thought that he was asleep if not for the fact that you could clearly see him sucking on his silly straw
>A giggle escaped your throat as you took a sip of your own wine cooler, wiggling your toes into your carpet
>Yep...
>This was JUST what all of you needed
>Some good company, good drinks, and good tunes
>As Mac turned up the newest pop hit by C.H.R.Y.S.A.L.I.S, you made your way over to Anon and Flash
"So how's it going over here?" you asked
>Flash frowned
>"It's a skinmergency here, 'Mal," he said with a dramatic sigh, wiping a bead of sweat from his brow. "Dry, cracked, and THICK skin EVERYWHERE!"
>He tapped the edge of his scraper--a thick, industrial thing that you had "borrowed" from your cousin-- against Anon's foot

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>>28794255
happening.

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>>28794270
>Anon grunted, his foot twitching
>Flash just tsked
>"I'm going to be here ALL night, 'Mal," he announced, before smiling. "But when that sun comes up Anon here's going to look like a whole new man!"
>Flash snapped his head to the side and struck a pose
>”Or I’m not the FABULOUS FLASH!”
>You and the other fellas--excluding Anon-- giggled
>You don't care what the other guys at school say about Flash, he is a CARD
>And you mean that in the best possible way
"What about you, Anon? Is the party as fun as we told you it would be?"
>Anon sighed as he took a particularly long sip of his drink
>"I have ascended to a higher plane of understanding," he simply said around his straw, wiggling his toes
>You grinned
>By the end of this you were going to have a brand new bf
>You could just FEEL it
"Alright, I'll let you two--"
>Before you could finish your sentence, something out of your window caught your eye
>One of the lights from the house next to yours flicked on
>Not a moment later, you watched as the window was opened
>...
>You frowned
"Oh shoot, I forgot that their bathroom window was on the same side as my bedroom," you muttered
>Flash perked up
>"What was that, Caramel?" he asked, still working on Anon's foot
>You took a step back from your window
>Usually, you'd have blinds on them that you could open and close whenever you felt like it, but because you were swapping the color of your bed sheets you had to take them off so that they didn't throw off the theme of the room
>You had ordered a new set of blinds but they hadn't come in yet
>That meant your window was completely exposed
>THEY could see everything that you and your friends were doing in here if they just looked out their window

>>28794304
>Not that they WOULD
>But still...
>"Whatcha lookin' at, Caramel?" Mac asked, climbing to his feet and making his way over to you
>"Yeah, what the heck's gotten into you?" Thunderlane demanded, looking out of your window. "What, is someone out there?"
>You grimace
"No, it's just that I realized that these blinds are open..."
>Thunderlane frowned
>"And what? Do you think that Principal Celestia or her sister are going to peep on us?"
>You didn't see Anon get up, nor did you hear him walk over to you
>You also didn't see him take the cucumbers off of his eyes or the mineral paste off his face
>But there he was standing next to you, peering out of your bedroom window, cucumber-less and without a bit of paste on his cheeks
>"Principal Celestia?" he muttered, brow furrowing. "What about her?"
>"Anon! You get back down here and let me--" Flash began, only for Anon to silence him with a finger
>"What are you guys talking about the principal for?" he asked again, looking over to Thunderlane with an expression that you couldn’t quite place
>Thunderlane shrugged
>"What? Didn’t you know that Caramel here lives next to the principal and her sister?" he asked
>Anon's eyes widened
>He looked over to you, then out to the window
>You could see steam coming from the principal's bathroom window now
>She--or the vice-principal--must have been showering or something
>You stuck your tongue out at THAT mental image
>Nope!
>No old, gross cougars for you!
>About a minute passed in relative silence
>Though the radio continued to blast the latest pop song, not a single one of you said a word

>>28794317
>Anon appeared to be frozen in place, staring out of your window toward the principal's house like he had just seen the gates of heaven
>You were beginning to get worried
>And, from the looks on the other fella's faces, so were they
"...Anon? Is everything alright there buddy?" you asked, placing a hand on his shoulder
>Anon jumped at the contact
>He looked down at your hand before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his cellphone
>He stared at it for a long moment, before looking back up at you with tears in his eyes
>Ohshit!
>You did something wrong!
>He was going to cry!
>If he started crying you wouldn't be able to handle it and YOU'D start crying
>And you knew Big Mac was a crier too, so he'd probably--
>"Caramel?" Anon said quietly, slowly, calmly. "You wouldn't happen to have a ladder lying around, would you?"
>...
>What?
>You blinked, a little thrown off by the out-of-left-field question
"Well, um, I think so?" You said. "My mom probably has a ladder or something down in the basement… Why?"
>A joyful, happy, ecstatic smile came to Anon's face
>Before you could do a thing, he pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your head and pressing your cheek against his chest
>W-Was...
>Was this manly whimsy that you were feeling?
>Was Anonymous being whimsical?
>For YOU?
>Your green classmate looked back out of the window as he began to run a hand through your hair
>"...We're going to do great things tonight, boys," he said breathlessly, leaning down to give the top of your head a kiss. "Great, great, GREAT things..."

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>>28794330
>Be Principal Celestia
>Otherwise known as Celestia when you were off the clock
>Which you were
>Thank the maker
"Ugh..."
>It had been a loooooooong day at school
>Long and boring and filled with nothing but meetings and powerpoints and quacks that the school board brought in to "help enrich your teaching portfolios"
>You swear to god if that one speaker hadn't been a man, you would have gotten up and punched him right in his smug, conceited mouth
>Stupid act-eighty days...
>The kids should have at least been there with you so that they could suffer a bit too…
>But no, THEY had the freakin’ day OFF!
>You sighed as you stomped your way into your bedroom
>Today had been a particularly bad day of powerpoints
>You, along with all of the teaching staff, had been forced to sit there until SEVEN THIRTY before you were allowed to leave
>You were hungry
>You were tired
>Your head hurt
>You felt dirty in every sense of the word
>And you wanted some MOTHERFUCKING PIZZA
>Your sister, who was in your kitchen at that very moment drinking heavily--as she did after the end of every act-eighty day--had already ordered the two of you enough pizzas to last through doomsday, so that was covered
>Sleep could wait, and you were already feeling a bit better back in your house away from the school
>Which meant that all you needed to do was take off your suit, shower, and put on some PJ's and you'd feel like half a women again
"LUNA! YOU BETTER HAVE GOTTEN PINEAPPLE LIKE I ASKED!" you yelled as you kicked off your high heels and all but tore off your coat
>"THEY WERE OUT OF IT!" Luna yelled back, which was immediately followed by the sound of a bottle slamming against the countertop
>Oh boy...
>It sounded like she had brought out the Jameson...
>This was going to be a fun night...
>You frowned as you began to unbutton the top your blouse
"YOU LIAR! THEY'RE NEVER OUT OF PINEAPPLE!" you yelled back
>"THEY NEVER RUN OUT BECAUSE PINEAPPLE IS SHIT ON PIZZA!"

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>>28794330
>>28794359

>>28794359
>...
>Fucking Luna and her shit taste...
>Shaking your head, you all but tore off your blouse and tossed it away
>You then made your way toward your personal bathroom, pulling off your skirt in the process
>You were going to use all of the hot water
>THAT'D show her
>Yeah...
>AND you'd pour the rest of her Jameson down the sink and replace it with root beer
>Scratching your ass, you flicked on your bedroom light and stepped inside
>Closing the door behind you, you walked over to your small but useable shower and turned the lever
>Instantly, water began pouring from the showerhead
>You quickly took a step back, standing back up to your full height and stretching
"Hmm..."
>Oh boy, did momma need a nice, long shower after the day she had today...
>Bouncing on your heels, you quickly undid your bra and tossed it to the floor
>Your panties were next, leaving you in nothing but your socks
>Your sweet Magnum P.I socks
>You looked down at them, smirking as you nodded your head
>Yeah...
>Best twenty dollars you ever spent...
>You were just about to reach down and pull them off when you stopped and looked up at your mirror
>In it, you could see your naked body in all of its... glory?
>Frowning gently, you looked yourself over with a critical eye
>...
>All-in-all, you'd like to think that you aged pretty well
>Your stomach was still as flat as it was when you were in college
>Your breasts were still as perky and blemish free as they had always been
>...Sure, they were still a bit too big, and no matter what way you moved you could see your ass sticking out, and you were a giant of a woman, but you still looked pretty good

>>28794370
>...
>Yep...
>Still as giant and assy with huge boobs like you've always been...
>Smiling ruefully, you flexed in the mirror
"I don't know what Luna's talking about," you muttered, striking a pose. "I could get any guy that I wanted..."
>You bounced on your heels, sending your tits flying in all directions
"They should be running over each other to get a load of THIS!"
>You flexed again, gritting your teeth and shaking slightly
>I'mbiggerthanyouandyoushouldknowit.jpg
>You were able to hold the position for a few seconds before explosively exhaling and sinking into yourself a bit
>...
>Yep
>You were man material all right...
>Half-heartedly using your hands to do the Million Dollars Hyper Combo to yourself, you stepped into your shower, making sure to close the curtain behind you
>The moment that the hot water ran over your tired, achy body you groaned
"Oh sweet stars above did I need this," you murmured, leaning forward to soak your face and hair. "This was just what the docto--"
>"Will you guys quit fucking around?! You're going to make me fucking fall goddammit!"
>Your head nearly hit the ceiling as a voice came from RIGHT outside of your window
>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
>WHO WAS THERE?!
>WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST TAKE A SHOWER IN FUCKING PIECE?!
>Without a second thought, you looked through the window
>It was dark out
>Off in the distance, you could see the eerie yellowish glow of the streetlights
>For a few seconds, you couldn't see a thing
>But then there was movement
>A lot of it
>"Anon! We shouldn't be doing this, we're going to get in TROUBLE!"

>>28794370
So is the standard of rougishness in this world revolve around the women being small, cute and perky? It sounds like Celestia was made fun of for being an amazon which admitedly doesn't make that much sense since women are supposed to be dominant wouldn't that mean big and tough girl equal more domianant role?

>>28794384
>logic
were on a board about technicolor ponies that talk that we want to fug, logic does not belong here.

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>>28794377
>"No we're not, you big baby."
>"But what if they SEE us?!"
>They're not going to see YOU, dummy. You're holding the ladder."
>"You know what I MEAN!"
>"Trust me, I'll be fine. I'll take a few pictures, come back down, and we can all go back and relax and I can get even more plastered off these girly drinks."
>"But why do you even want pictures of HER? She's just some gross old lady!"
>"HEY! You shut the fuck up! She's a majestic swan with a rocking pair of tits and an ass you could get lost in!"
>"Aren't you dating?"
>"What? Can't I jack off by myself every once in awhile?"
>”Well, what about your shirt? What the heck happened to that?!”
>”...What about “even more plastered” didn’t you understand?”
>You could see one of your students not five feet from your window
>It was... Anonymous?
>Narrowing your eyes, you saw that it, in fact, was him
>The young man was perched precariously on top of a ladder
>He was wearing a pair of slim-fit blue pajama bottoms with no shirt
>In one of his hands was a pitcher of some red beverage with a long silly straw coming out of it
>...
>Wat?
"Wat?”
>You must have been louder than you thought, because not a second after you spoke, Anon perked up
>Eyes wide, his head snapped toward the window, looking right at you
>"...Oh fuck me," you heard him mutter.
>He then smiled the biggest, fakest smile that you had seen all day
>And that was saying something
>"Hiya, Ms. Celestia, fancy seeing you here. Nice night out tonight, huh? Please don't call the co--HEY!"
>You gasped as the ladder that he was standing on top of began to sway dangerously
>Ohshithe'sgoingtofall!
"Anonymous!"

>>28794400
>"Fucking SHIT!"
>There was a series of yells from the ground before the ladder gave way
>Anon, with a yelp, was forced to leap toward the window
>For a horrible, stomach-turning second, he disappeared from your field of vision
>You nearly broke your neck leaning up and over your window
>Not able to see anything, you pushed up your window’s screen and poked your head outside
"Anonymous? Anonymous! Are you alright?!"
>Looking down, you saw a hand
>Leaning over a bit more, you saw Anon, his eyes wide, hanging from the edge of your window frame
>In your panic, you noticed that he was still holding his pitcher in a hand
>"Big Mac! Caramel! Thunderlane! You motherfuckers! You putzy pieces of shit! HOW COULDN’T YOU HOLD A LADDER FOR FIVE SECONDS?!"
>He looked down at the ground before letting out a groan
>"Goddammit! I'm going to die from my need to take pictures of naked women! The fucking gypsy was right!"
>You poked your head back into the shower, heart racing
>He was going to fall!
>Hurt himself!
>You had to do something!
>Mind racing, you reached out a hand
"Anonymous! Drop the pitcher and grab my hand! I'll pull you in!"
>Though you didn't see it, Anonymous looked back up at the window
>"...Oh, Ms. Celestia. You're still there!" he said with a high-pitched squeak. "That's nice. Sorry about all of this. Once again, please don't call the cops."
"I'm not going to call anyone! Now drop that pitcher and grab my hand right this second, mister!"
>"...But muh slushie wine cooler."
"DROP. IT."
>Anon did not, in fact, drop it
>Somehow, the young man managed to place the pitcher's handle in between his teeth before grabbing your hand
>Using your foot to turn off your shower you, dripping wet and as naked as a jaybird, helped him through the window into your bathroom

>>28794400
*sigh* I wish I could into EQG. all this no doubt fine lap green I am missing out on :(

>>28794414
>It took some work, and it didn't help any that your body was shaking from the adrenaline, but even so you had him halfway through that little window in record time
>You hadn't the foggiest idea what the HELL he had been doing
>At this point you didn't even care
>You just wanted to get him in here where it was safe
>THEN you could start asking questions
>And possibly call the police
>...Though, now that you thought about it, it may not be a very good idea to call the cops when you're about to have a half-naked high school boy in your house...
>No
>Don't think about that now
>You have a teenager to save
"Come on, Anonymous," you said as you yanked on his arm. "You're almost--"
>Since he was a BIT heavier than he looked, you miscalculated your last tug and accidently sent him face-first into your shower
>You were about to yell, about to bend down and see if he was alright, but before you could so much as open your mouth he was on his feet
>He was soaking wet and dazed and he looked a little drunk, but he was on his feet
>"I'm alright, I'm alright," he quickly said, looking around the bathroom. "My face took most of the fall, and I’m drunk so I can’t really feel pain all that much."
>He looked down at his pitcher, which had somehow managed to find its way into his hand
>”Hey, will you look at that, I didn't spill any of my wine cooler! This is a nice bathroom you got here, Ms. Celestia. Are those tiled floors?"
>He took a quick step away from you, looking down
>"...Yep, those are tiled floors," he said, nodding his head. "Very nice. You know, I got the same--"
>Seeing what he was trying to do, you frowned
"Anonymous. Just WHAT do you think you were doing on that ladder?" you demanded. "In fact, what were you doing on my property?!"
>Anonymous, frowning, looked down at his feet before looking back up at you

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>>28794429
>"I was next-door at a sleepover. We all saw you turn on the light, and one of the guys at the sleepover said that this was your house, so I decided to come over to see if I could take a few naked pictures of you or possibly of your sister. And maybe borrow a pair of your panties to do dirty things to"
>Your frown deepened
"Do you honestly expect me to believe such a pitiful ex--"
>When his words finally registered, your mouth snapped shut
"I, um... what did you say?" you asked, unsure if you had heard right
>That was when Anonymous looked over at you, suddenly making you very aware that you were naked and were doing nothing to cover yourself
>"Yep, I came over here to take naked pictures of you to jerk off with," he said bluntly, his voice slightly slurred, as his eyes roamed over your body
>You opened your mouth
>You then closed your mouth
>You...
>You honestly didn't know what to say to that…
>What COULD you even say to that?
>...
>Were you angry?
>Flattered?
>Worried?
>As you stood there, mouth agape, Anonymous's eyes traveled up and down your body shamelessly
>You could see the hunger in his eyes, and his satisfaction at what he was seeing
>...
>Yep
>There are a bit of flattery there in the midst of it all
"I, um... why?" you lamely asked
>Anonymous looked up from your groin and into your eyes
>"Because you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen," he said with that same bluntness, that same honesty
>You could feel a part of your brain short circuit
>But still, you could feel your chest puffing out just a bit
"Well... You're still in a LOT of trouble... But thank you," you said with the smallest of smiles, covering your groin with a hand
>The look on Anonymous's face as you did that almost made you want to lift it away
>Almost
>But he was still a teenager and you were a thirty-five year old woman
>And momma wasn’t going to jail today
>Still, the young man smiled
>"Hey, you're very welcome," he said

>>28794446
>He then looked past you
>"Hey, what the heck is that?" he asked, lifting a hand up to point
>You almost groaned
>What now?!
>You looked back, expecting to see someone ELSE poking his head through the window
>You didn't see anything
>But you did hear something that sounded like someone taking a picture
>Whipping around, you saw that Anonymous was standing near your bathroom door
>He was sipping on his manly drink
>On top of his head were you panties
>In his free hand was a phone
>A phone pointed right at you
>"Well, it's great seeing you, ma'am," he said, quickly backing up opening the door as your eyes widened. "Hope you have a good weekend. Sorry about interrupting your shower like that. Don't call the cops. Please."
>Quickly snapping another picture, he quickly darted out of the bathroom and into the hall
>"AlrightIgottagoseeyabye!" he yelled, his feet pounding against your wooden floor as he ran as fast as he could
>He managed to take two steps before you heard a loud bang
>”FUCK! Fucking stubbed my toe. Goddamn wall…”
"Anonymous!" you shouted. "Anonymous! You get back here right now, young man!"
>Of course, like you were expecting, no answer came
>...Huh
>A small smile came to your lips as you sighed
>You then looked down at yourself, then at your reflection
>Be Luna
>A very tipsy Luna
>A very angry, tipsy Luna that was rushing upstairs to see what all of the shouting was about
>Half of the neighborhood was going to be knocking on your door if you didn’t stop whatever it was Celestia was doing

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>>28794460
>Honestly…
>After the day that you had
>What was she even--
>”Oh, hello, Vice-Principal Luna. You’re looking wonderful today. Nice weather, huh? Don’t call the cops please.”
>One of your students, as quick as a flash, bolted down your stairs
>Your head whipped around--an act that nearly sent you falling down the stairs--just in time to see him race toward the door, throw it open, and dart out into the night
>...
>What the fuck?
“...Celestia?” you called, racing up the stairs and into her room. “Celestia!”
>Seeing that her bathroom door was wide open, you raced toward it
“Celestia, I heard screaming and I just saw one of our STUDENTS run out the door! What the hell!”
>You trailed off as you poked your head into the bathroom
>There was your sister, buck-naked, smiling that smile
>That smug, shitty grin that gave you a headache
>...
>Goddammit
>You frowned as your sister’s grin grew
>”Hey Luna~” she sing-songed. “Remember when a certain SOMEONE said that I would never get a man eating all the cake that I do? Remember when you got blown the fuck out that one time?”
>Your sister rocked on her heels, sending her breasts bouncing
>”Well, have I got a story for YOU.”
>...
>This was bullshit…
>The MOST bullshit...

>>28794473
Alright, I'm done. I might have more of that other Celestia think ready tomorrow. I don't know yet

>>28792249
Recently a man has been found in Indra I think is 145 years old, he is still alive, every moment he lives he stets the record for oldest living human

>>28787874
>three Celestias
>three
>Celestias

Why have I never thought about this before
Its like a whole new world has opened up
Imagine the possibilities
Imagine the cuddles
Imagine the intense hoof holding sessions

Imagine

>>28793243
>taurish
Why that name for the Minotaurs land?
Wouldn't Mooscow work better?

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>>28794481
Oh fuck my dick could break diamonds at this point. Thanks for the green, LaP.

>>28794255
Anon getting dragged away from his dedicated siren pussy. No wonder he is annoyed.

>>28794489
Riiiight.

>>28794270
>C.H.R.Y.S.A.L.I.S
So we getting a scene of another Anon getting it on with rocker queen of the changelings when?

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>>28793640
>bring back 4 more celestia's, i will stick my arms elbow deep in 2 and knee deep in two more, and you will ride me while they walk us around canterlot for all to see"

>>28794359
I want to fuck this Luna, I want to fuck her so sober she gets cock drunk.

>>28794481
this>>28794573
but there is no smut so I cant finish. What the hell do you expect me to do with my dick?!

>>28794377
TAKE A SHOWER IN --PEACE--

>>28794937
Well, looks like I'm a shit editor. Time to pack my bags.

>>28794506
I fucked up.
The language is Minoan, of course. Spoken in Minos.
It's a from the Taurish family of languages

>>28794615
it's true although he is Indonesian not Indian
http://www.snopes.com/2016/08/30/145-year-old-man/

>>28794481
I kinda want to see what you do for the Shadowbolts with Anon

>>28794481

But i like this one....

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>"Hey Anon! How are ya, buddy? Good? I'm good too!"
>"Can I... Stay at your place for a couple of days?"
>"What? No, the girls are treating me just fine! These bruises? I, uh, crash landed! I just need a change of scenery for a few days, and I was hoping-"
>"Anon..."
>"Anon, they took Rumble..."

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>>28795580
>"Anon, they took Rumble..."
Thunderlane.

Bring me The Barrel.

>>28794473
>Two weeks later, Anon asks if they want to have another slumber party.
>He plans to get Luna's panties this time, he needs to complete the set.

Hey there, everyone. Halloween's probably my favourite holiday, so I've thrown something together to share with RGRE. I'm aware it's two days after halloween, but I got banned for a day or two for calling somebody something impolite. Maybe I'm out of practice (or maybe I've never actually been IN practice to begin with), but this thing gave me a shit-tonne of trouble to write. Sorry if it's a bit shit at times. I'll be cleaning it up as I go, so there'll be a couple minutes between each post. Enjoy!

---------------------------------------------

>It's the night of Horse-October the 31st, and your six best friends have called you to meet them at the library.
>Twilight Sparkle; Pinkie Pie; Rarity; Applejack; Rainbow Dash; and Fluttershy.
>All of them looking up at you expectantly.
>All of them dressed up up as spiders.
>You suspect chicanery is afoot.
>Apart from showing you to a nearby couch and offering you tea, these ponies have said absolutely nothing to you.
>You wriggle in your seat and uncomfortably push your cup-and-saucer away from you.
>You give them a solid thirty seconds of silence to see if any of them want to explain why they called you here today, but they all seem content to bask in your presence and generally be a bit weird.
"So."
>A couple of ears swivel in your direction, but nobody says anything.
"What's the dealio here?"
>Pinkie Pie's ears twitch and she stands up, breaking away from the group and walking over to you.
>You guess you were right about them waiting for you to do something first.
>...why were they waiting for you?
>You wait patiently as Pinkie Pie joyfully bounces and jumps her way over to you.
>Despite her enthusiasm, her costume says in place and in one piece.
>The costume consists of a dark gray rubber sleeve, decorated with black stripes wrapping around her back and tummy.

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>>28795869
>Where you would have expected to see a big, round spider-ass, Pinkie has a little bowl thing covering her bum with a hole at the end for her tail to go through.
>Even though the costume is clearly designed for a four-legged creature to wear it, it's got eight bouncy spider legs on it; four on each side.
>It reminds you more of a costume made for a dog than a costume made for a human, where arms and legs would sometimes count towards the total number of appendages.
>And much like a dog's costume, her entire underside is uncovered apart from a few rubber cords that tie the costume together and keep it from falling off of her body.
>It's one of the cutest things you've ever seen these ponies dress up as.
>Pinkie Pie leaps up into your lap and settles down with one final hop, skip, and jump.
>Laying on her back with her hooves curled up against her chest, Pinkie offers you a bright smile before talking.
>"It's Nightmare Night, silly!"
>Horse-Halloween?
>This explains literally nothing to you.
>You reach down to poke Pinkie Pie on the nose and watch as her eyes cross trying to follow your finger.
>The word "boop!" barely leaves your mouth before Pinkie grabs your hand in between her forehooves and hugs it to her chest.
>Without missing a beat, you start scratching her chest, digging your fingers deep into her tuft.
"I don't actually know what Nightmare Night is, Pinkie."
>Pinkie starts gently kicking your arm with her rear legs and is too busy being adorable to answer you.
>"Uh... Well, Anon...."
>Twilight Sparkle steps forward from the group, and is one of the only ponies who isn't giving Pinkie a weird look right now.
>Much like Pinkie Pie (and all the other ponies gathered here), Twilight is dressed up as a spider.
>The design is slightly different, either for variations sake or because Twilight's costume is of a different species of spider, but it's unmistakably an 8-legged nightmare.

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>Firing an AN-04 is horrifying, menacing, and very loud

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>>28795884
>"L-Like Pinkie Pie was TRYING to say," she stutters, her face turning an interesting shade of red, "It's... It's, uh..."
>She tries to look at you, but her eyes keep flicking over to Pinkie Pie.
>The pink pony in question has now just started to rub her face in your open palm.
>Twilight tries to mumble her way through an explanation, but she seems distracted by what the little pink weirdo is doing on your lap.
>You hear a sigh before a blue hoof shoves Twilight aside, making way for the hoof's owner to take her place.
>"What Twilight is TRYING to say," says Rainbow Dash, sounding like her already-shallow well of patience has dried up, "is that we're all dressed up to nab some candy and spook some ponies!"
>Rainbow Dash takes to the air and does a spin that shows off her costume very well.
>"But mostly to spook some ponies." she grins, coming to a stop in front of you.
>Unlike Pinkie's costume, Rainbow's costume covers her entire belly and seems to use a zipper to hold the costume in place.
>It honestly looks like she repurposed an old bodysuit and stuck some spider legs onto it.
>You don't know if she went for the bodysuit option because she thinks she'll be seen mostly from the ground, or if her first costume idea was to dress up as a Wonderbolt.
>Probably both.
>Rainbow Dash hovers in front of you and puffs up her chest in pride.
>With a "zipp" and a "snk", the zipper undoes itself a bit and exposes her upper-chest.
>Rainbow Dash follows your gaze and a smug smirk worms its way onto her face.
>She wriggles a bit more deliberately and works the zipper lower and lower down her chest.
>Untold fields of fluffy, downy chest-fur expose themselves to you.
>You barely resist the urge to reach up and run your fingers through her fluff.
>Pegasi fur is notorious for being soft and warm, and an opportunity like this is legitimately tempting.

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>>28795910
>Rainbow must have seen the temptation in your eyes, because she throws you a wink and lowers herself so that you're at eye-level with her chest.
>"You know, Anon," she says in a flirtatious tone (ruined ever-so-slightly by her scratchy voice), "It was MY idea to prank the whole town into thinking it was overrun by giant spiders."
>She wriggles her eyebrows and crosses her forehooves underneath her chest tuft.
>This only serves to poof up her chest even further.
>You've never seen something more comfy.
>You want it.
>YOU WANT IT SO BAD
>"It was all me, Anon. Pretty cool, rig-woah!"
>Rainbow's tuft is sadly torn away from you by Pinkie Pie.
>Pinkie Pie, still laying on your lap, nabs Rainbow's tail with her forehooves and chomps down on it, munching away like it was her favourite candy.
>Rainbow Dash flaps her wings wildly, trying to escape Pinkie's iron grip on her tail, but she doesn't make any progress.
>"Pinkie Pie!" she shrieks, "Let go!"
>Pinkie, on the other hand, seems to be enjoying herself immensely, giggling and swatting at Rainbow's hind legs when they get near.
>You take pity on the cyan mare and start tickling Pinkie's tummy, hoping that it will loosen her grip on Rainbow's tail.
>She tries to stay strong, but no pony is a match for your dancing fingers.
>After a couple of seconds (seconds that felt like minutes to Pinkie) of wriggling and stifling giggles, Pinkie Pie opens her mouth wide and shrieks with laughter.
>Rainbow Dash yanks her tail away and flies out of Pinkie's biting range.
>After inspecting herself for any damages (other than her pride), Rainbow Dash glides away with her tail between her legs and ears flopping.
>You aren't sure, but you think you hear her muttering something about "blue beans".
>Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie squirms and kicks under your assault.
>"Nonny, no!" she cries, swatting at you, "Not in public!"
>Wait, what?
>You immediately stop tickling Pinkie and pull your hand back.
"What's that supposed to mean?"

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>>28795943
>Pinkie's chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath, still victim to little giggle-fits as the aftershocks of your merciless assault hit her.
"No, really," you say, looking around the room, "Was that a sex thing?"
>Are you going to be put in the time-out corner again?
"Is this another one of those horse things, where something seems innocent to me but it's actually really lewd to ponies?"
>You try and get some assistance from the other girls, but they're all looking away uncomfortably.
>Dammit, it IS, isn't it?
>Pinkie rolls off of your lap and starts walking back to her group, swating your leg with her tail on her way out.
>"Nope!" she chirps, "I just said that 'cuz I wanted you to stop tickling me."
>"Yeah, 'nawn", drawls Applejack, "You was bein' awfully familiar with Pinkie Pie, is all."
>Before you can say anything, Pinkie gives you the most intense bedroom eyes you've ever seen.
>She even licks her lips to boot.
>"Come by the Sugarcube Corner later, Nonny, and you can tickle me somewhere else."
>With a parting wink to remember her by, Pinkie turns tail and leaves the room.
>You have the weirdest boner of your life.
>Nearly a year of being the only human around has lowered your standards to "is intelligent enough to understand spoken word".
>You say your goodbyes to everyone else and then "relieve" yourself before you go out.

----------------------------------

>The streets of Ponyville are alive tonight.
>Ponies in costume, from excited fillies and colts to adults on their way to Nightmare Night parties, fill the street.
>You can't deny that there is a certain energy in the air tonight.
>Excitement and delight mixed in with nervousness and that delightful thrill you get when you purposefully play video games that you know will scare you.
>It's like a feel of anticipation for something that is perpetually right about to happen.
>It makes you feel almost giddy

>>28795964
>A nearby house opens its door to accept a group of adult ponies in costume, momentarily flooding the streets with loud music and unintelligible shouting.
>Nightmare Night is alive here in Ponyville.
>That's not your focus for tonight, though.
>It's like a switch has been turned on in your head, and your brain is only just now acknowledging all that horsepussy that the mares of Ponyville proudly flaunt.
>You've been nursing a half-chub since you started exploring the holiday-decorated town.
>You keep it reigned in, though.
>There are foals about, and you don't want to be arrested for horse-pedophilia.
>Just as you walk by a spookified Sugarcube Corner, a voice catches your attention.
>"Hey, mister!"
>Hmmm?
>You follow the voice and find yourself staring down the barrel of a warm smile offered to you by a little colt.
>Unlike the girl's scary costumes, this little pony is wearing something much more benign.
>He's wearing a green bodysuit (with holes for his tail, face, and hooves) and a ring of yellow fins circles his face.
>Judging by the stitching, the costume is homemade.
>He's very clearly dressed as a flower.
>"What's your costume, mister?"
"My costume?"
>You make a show of spinning in a circle and looking under your arms in a big exaggerated investigation, making the colt giggle at your display.
"I'm not wearing a costume, silly!"
>You kneel down so that you're as close to eye-level to the baby pony as possible.
"What's your costume, little guy? Are you..."
>You put your hand to your chin and adopt and expression of extreme concentration.
"Hmmm.... A scary monster?"
>The colt titters and shakes his head.
>"No!"
"Are you... a clown?"
>The colt shakes his head again.
>"I'm not a clown!"
"Are you..."
>A new, adult voice makes itself known.
>"THERE you are!"
>A mare runs over, looking worried.
>"Oh, thank goodness I found you! I thought I told you not to run off!"
>The mare is panting and sweating and looks like she's about to collapse.

4chan doesn't like me posting images today, so we're gonna have to do without.
>>28796008
>She looks at you suspiciously for a moment before her eyes light up in recognition.
>This usually doesn't take long, what with you being the only human in town.
>Also, the entire world.
>The mare trots in a happy circle around her foal, clearly relieved to have him back.
>You do your best to keep your eyes off her flank; for her kid's sake.
>"Thank Celestia it was you who found him, Anonymous. The hubby would have had my ass raw if I lost him."
>The mare hugs the colt to her chest, rubbing the boy's head in her tuft.
>"We'll get you smelling like mama again in no time flat, kiddo."
>The colt laughs and pushes away with his hooves, and the two ponies playfully wrestle.
>Before they leave, the mare walks up to you and nods gratefully.
>"Thank you for keeping my little colt occupied while I was looking for him. You, uh..."
>She looks around nervously and presses something into your hand.
>"You won't tell the mister I lost our foal, right?"
>Aww.
>Tiny horses acting worried about tiny horse problems never fails to be adorable to you.
"My lips are sealed."
>Walking across some poor sod's lawn, the mother and child go about their night going door-to-door for candy.
>What on Earth did that mare bribe you with?
>You look down at your hand and take a gander at your hush-hush present.
>It's....
>...a caramel apple?
>You fucking LOVE caramel!
>You promptly go to town on the sweet treat.

-------


>"Hey, Anon! C'mere a sec!"
>You haven't taken two bites out of your caramel apple before Rainbow Dash calls out to you.
>You look around and quickly spot her hiding behind an abandoned apple-bobbing pool.
>You walk over to her and kneel down.
>What's this little cutie doing, hiding behind there?
"What is it, Rainbow Dash?" you ask around a mouthful of sugar and apple.
>"Shh!"
>She points behind you, thrusting her hoof forward and knocking the caramel apple from your hand.
>Mother-FUCKER!

>>28796039
"Hey!"
>You can only watch, helpless, as your candy-night treat flies out of your grasp and onto the dirty ground.
>"Look!" she hisses.
>You give her a quick glare before turning to see what she's pointing at with her caramel-stained hoof.
>Five familiar tails disappear around various corners, obstacles, and other unsuspecting ponies.
>Rainbow watches her friends run off, staying silent until the very last butt-mane is out of sight.
>When Pinkie Pie's fluffy tail finally disappears behind Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow lowers her hoof and sighs in relief.
>"I thought they'd never leave," she mumbles, leaning against the apple-bobbing tub.
"You had better have a replacement caramel apple, Rainbow," you mutter, sadly eyeing the soiled fruit.
>"Relax, sweetheart," says Rainbow dismissively, licking the smudge of caramel from her hoof like a cat, "I'll get you something nice later, okay?"
"Fuck you too, Rainbow Dash," you mutter, just loud enough for you to hear.
>Rainbow sees your expression and rolls her eyes and jabbing you on the shoulder.
>"Don't be like that, Anon. You know I'm good for it."
>Fuck's sake.
"Look, just.... what did you want?"
>"Hmm?" Rainbow looks up from her paw, tongue hanging out mid-lick.
>"Oh, right! C'mon, Anon, follow me!"
>Rainbow takes to the air, briefly startling you with how disturbing the imagry of a spider with wings is.
"What?" you ask incredulously, "No. Why would I do that?"
>"Why not? I mean, I'm a nice mare."
>She really isn't, though.
"Rainbow, you can show me some other time, alright?
>"I want you to rub my tuft, alright?!" she shouts, arms raised in exasperation.
>Oh.
>"And maybe... maybe I can rub something of yours, too~"
>Oh!
>Okay.
>Yeah, sure, you're sold.
>Caramel apple?
>WHAT caramel apple?
>Nothing in your little book of morals says anything against being a man-whore to animals.

>>28796039
>knocking the caramel apple from your hand.
You dun goofed, top cunt

>>28796080
>You are Rainbow Dash
>You knew Anon was a total airhead; you had your suspicions about him from the get-go.
>The socks
>The complete absence of testicle bras
>The way he never passes up an opportunity to rub a mare's belly
>All you had to do was say you'd show him the T(uft), and now he's following you around like a little lost colt.
>And you know rhymes with "T", filly?
>That's right.
>"V"
>Also, "D".
>And tonight's the night when all three come together, knowhatimsayin'?
>Anon can't see your face because you're flying in front of him, but you're waggling your eyebrows something FIERCE right now.
>You were honestly pretty dang happy when Anon didn't want to follow you at first; you like it when they play hard to get.
>It made him seem like less of a slut, too.
>Anon is great and all, but he's just not the sort of colt you can bring back and introduce to your father.
>But for a little bit of fun? Don't even worry about that.
>If he can last longer than 30 seconds, you're going to go straight to Twilight and see if she can figure out a way for Anon to walk on clouds.

>You are Anon
>Rainbow Dash has been leading you away from down and towards a small wooded area.
>It isn't the Everfree; just a benign gathering of trees.
>A normal woods.
>You make it to a small grove, where Rainbow Dash stops flying and turns around to face you.
>With a wink, Rainbow spins around and lifts her tail.
>You barely register a glowing crystal right where her asshole should be before you're covered in something white and sticky.
>Some very obvious thoughts and fears rocket through your mind before reality catches up with you and you realize that you can no longer move.
>FUCK
>With your arms and legs wrapped up and unable to balance yourself, you fall backwards and hit the ground with a pained grunt.
>Luckily for you, there are already a bunch of bullshit webs everywhere, so your landing is cushioned considerably.

>>28796108
>Did Rainbow prepare this little home-away-from-home just for you?
>How.... lovely.
"Why would you DO this?!"
>Of course this is what Rainbow wanted.
>How could she pass up an opportunity to prank somebody on Horse-Halloween?
>....she was never actually going to let you play with her tuft, was she.
>God dammit, you can be so stupid sometimes.
>Some days you see past these ponies bullshit
>Other days (like today) you act like a backwater country colt: distracted by shiny things and just really easy to fool.
>How did Twilight think that giving Rainbow Dash the powers of Spiderman was a good idea?
>You guess you could see Rarity doing something creative with this.
>Maybe she parked herself in an alleyway somewhere and turned it into a spooky spider's nest.
>Applejack could do... SOMETHING, you're sure.
>You know what? You bet that even Pinkie Pie cou-
>....
>Pinkie Pie.
>Oh, god, Pinkie Pie.
"Rainbow Dash!"
>Rainbow giggles and starts rolling you over, and you feel something start tugging at the web near your groin.
>You can't move your head very well, and all you can see of Rainbow Dash is the top of her head.
>"Settle down, kitten, I know you're excited. We'll get to that real soo-"
"No, shut up! Stop for a second!"

>>28796139
>Rainbow Dash groans in frustration and tumbles off beside you, rolling onto her back.
>"Aww, not NOW! Dammit, Anonymous, if you're about to pull some horseapples about 'not being ready', I'm going to beat you like a husband. I swear to Celestia, Anon."
>Rainbow Dash smothers her face with her hooves and groans miserably.
>Meanwhile, you continue to try and wriggle free.
"No, just... just stop thinking with your lady-dick for two seconds!"
>She sits up and peers at you in confusion.
>"My what?"
>When Rainbow Dash gets up and trots over to your head, her entire body comes into view.
>She's unzipped her costume almost all the way down to her crotch, and her entire tuft is on display.
>It looked like she gutted a pillow and taped it to her chest.
>It was beautiful.
>A big part of you sincerely regrets stopping her.
>Another big part, however, remembers the last time Pinkie got her hooves on magical powers of some description.
>It took two weeks for your testicles to shrink down to normal size.
"The other mares - can they do this web thing that you can do, Rainbow?"
>Rainbow sighs explosively as she zips her costume back up.
>"Yeah," she snaps, "So what?"
"Even Pinkie Pie?"
>Dash freezes mid-zip and her annoyed expression is slowly morphs into something closer to dawning horror.
>"Oh. That's not good."

>>28796162
>You wriggle around a bit to get her attention back to you.
"C'mon; let me up so that we ca-"
>She's on you faster than you can speak.
>Rainbow Dash tugs on your bindings...
>And then tugs again.
>Looking confused, she grabs the webbing somewhere else and gives it another pull.
>And then another one.
>She's looking more and more frustrated with each attempt to free you.
>And the way that she's anxiously looking back in the direction of town more and more frequently is giving you a really bad feeling.
>"Dangit... Look, Anon..."
>Tug
>"I'll... I don't know, I'll buy you dinner sometime, or... or..."
>Tug
"Rainbow..."
>"Or... or more of those, uh.. those chocolate apples you like..."
>Tug-tug
>"Chocolate is a colt's best friend, right?"
>Tug
"Rainbow, don't you dare."
>Rainbow drops her hooves and looks at you pleadingly, looking both distressed and desperate.
>"C'mon, mare! Don't be like this! I have to go and find Twilight before Pinkie DOES something!"
>She grabs the webbing again and digs her rear hooves into the dirt, gearing up for a big tug.
>"Why are these things so tight?!"
"Rainbow, I swear to God," you growl, "Don't you DARE leave me here!"
>Rainbow crawls on top of you, somehow remaining unstuck.
>Despite her usual dickishness, she actually looks remorseful for leaving you.
>"I'm sorry, Anon! Okay? For real this time, I'm sorry."
>...she wasn't sorry the other times?
>Fucking Rainbow Da-

>>28796224
>Rainbow plants a kiss on your forehead and leaps off of you.
>"I'll be back soon!"
"Rainbow!"
>As she fades away, you can just barely hear her voice trailing off in the wind.
>"Teeenn seccooonds fllllaaaaahhh....~"
"You shit, get back here!"
>Fucking ponies.
>These FUCKING ponies!
>You wiggle and waggle with all your might, pulling and pushing with your arms and kicking with your legs.
>Typical.
>Fucking typical Rainbow Dash.
>And you know what the worst part is?
>You agreed to follow her.
>You have nobody to blame but yourself.
>You-
>You're broken out of your huffy mood by the sounds of rustling leaves.

>"Dear Princess Celestia~"
>No.
>Please, God, no.
>A fluffy pink mane slowly slides into view through leaves and branches.
>"I never thought it would happen to me~"
>Pinkie Pie, grinning sinisterly, slowly lowers herself out of the canopy on a single strand of web.
>Upon letting go of it, her fall is effortlessly broken by all the webbing on the ground.
>You realize too late that Rainbow Dash hadn't had the chance to lay down webbing on the ground for you.
>Much like an actual spider, Pinkie Pie had been sitting patiently.
>Waiting.
>She scuttles over to you, wriggling around back and forth to make it look like costume's legs were walking.
>Nearing you, she drops the predatory expression for just a moment and gives you a sympathetic smile.
>"She sure played a nasty trick on you, huh Nonners?"
>Pinkie licks her lips and lets her eyes travel all around your face.
>Her expression changes to something decidedly more... intimate.
>"Don't worry, I've got a nice treat for you~"
>With a quick peck on the lips, Pinkie walks around, grabs the scruff of your shirt in her teeth, and then drags you away.
>You can hear her giggling to herself all the way up to her bedroom in Sugarcube Corner.
The End.

>>28796245
Well, that was fun. I hope it was enjoyable for some of you. It's a bit choppy in some places, and this story kicked my ass a little bit, but I'm happy with it. I've thrown it into my pastebin if any of y'all want that. If I catch any fuckups, it'll be fixed in the bin.

http://pastebin.com/hbfNrDcB

>>28796245
and that's when anon had pinkie pie arrested for rape. How's that for a prank, bitch?

>>28796299
yeah this one I don't really see people objecting to.

>>28796299
>>28796316

Pinkie stopped fooling around when they got to the SCC and asked for his permission. She knows when she's taken a joke too far.
>"Nonny, could you give me a hoof with something?"
>You look up from your book and find Pinkie dressed up as a spider.
>The very same spider way back when...
>Three pink foals run out from between Pinkie's legs, all in varying degrees of costume.
>Though there are many missing parts to their costumes, they're all clearly meant to be tiny spiders.
>You throw Pinkie a wink as you set your book down and help her get your foals ready for their first Nightmare Night.

>>28796293
Liked it a lot! Glad to see you're still alive, even if you're not a career writefag anymore!

>>28796405
Thanks, Anon! That's real nice of you to say. Hearing that people liked my stuff was what had always inspired me to write more.

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>>28795964
>>"Come by the Sugarcube Corner later, Nonny, and you can tickle me somewhere else."
LEWD

>>28796518
Panko is lewdest RGRE horse. Of all the mane 6, she has the most bottomless sexual appetite.

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Stallions who take part in Muffvember are disgusting and should be forcibly dipped in Nain.

>>28796342
Cute

>>28795580

>You give your friend a serious look.
"Thunderlane, normally I would never condone this. But they have beaten you, and they have taken your son."
>You move to get your first aid kid to deal with Thudnerlane's bruises.
"What I want, is for you to press charges and be as brutal as you need to be in court to get Rumble back. Gather as much evidence as you can. Take them for every bit they've got, and then some. Ruin them."

>>28795580
>"...to the park."
>"He was getting a little bit fussy, and the mares thought he needed some time to play with the other colts and fillies."
>"I know how suspicious this looks, Anon, but I really did actually get these bruises from a crash landing."
>"Anypony else would assume that my mares were beating me and that I was trying to protect them by lying, but I knew you'd know better than that."
>"I mean, all those times you've invited us to dinner... you probably know more about us than anypony else in town."
>"For goodness sake, Anon, little Rumble calls you "Unca Non"! "
>"You KNOW they'd never hurt a hair on my head!"
>"The mares and I thought it could get them in trouble if I went to a doctor to get them taken care of, and the last thing I want is for the loves of my life to go to jail because some idiot decides to "fight" for me."
>"I really only need to stay here for a few days until the bruises go away, Anon. I hope it isn't too much trouble."

>>28797145
>Thunderlane and his herdmares just broke up
>Thunderlane falls a couple of times out of the sky and makes up a bullshit story
>Presses charges just to spite them
>Anon eats it all up without a shred of evidence

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Keep stallions out of active combat roles! The last thing our mares in uniform need is a bunch of preening colts breaking down under fire. If anything, military stallions should be confined to cooking, cleaning, and pleasing mares after a long patrol.
Think of how much harder our mares will fight with the promise of a stallion's warm embrace waiting for her back at base. Instead, thanks to these 'reforms', both males and females are dying needlessly due to unneeded policy of gender equality, while in Canterlot, Princess Celestia licks Prince Anon's taint!
Mares, cast your vote to save Equestrian civilization! Rise up and destroy the patriarchy before it can begin!

>>28797405
>"The primary victims of war have always been stallions. They lose their mothers, their daughters, and their sisters."

>Princess Celestia licks Prince Anon's taint!
Fat lonely stallions jelly no mare would go within ten feet of their nasty taint

>>28797405
>>while in Canterlot, Princess Celestia licks Prince Anon's taint!
>tfw no mare to insist on licking you clean every morning

>>28795216
What part of "if confirmed" don't u understand?
This right here is why the world is going to pot. Fucking stupid shitS incapable or more likely unwilling of thinking anything thru.

>>28795216
I've read about stuff like this. Not this very case, I'm sure, but there were apparently more... "remote" places where names were passed on from father to son when one person died. Because of this tradition and difficulties with translation (and a bunch of bullshit lies told about how old they were), people started thinking that some of these "remote" people lived to be over a hundred years old.

>>28797697
>world is going to pot.
what

>don't u understand
>thinking anything thru
>Fucking stupid shitS
Not like mister genius here.

>>28796108
>If he can last longer than 30 seconds
Why u gotta break my self-insert potential like that pluggo?

>>28797777
kek
Good use of quads, Anon.

>>28795889
I'm more reminded of a recent /k/ story...
>get to MOUT site
>2LT: SPC Anon! PFC Bitch wants to be hard-core today, give her your SAW!
>look at her
>cheesy shit-eating grin on 5'3", modestly overweight barracks ho who has her bangs hanging out from under her helmet so badly it completely obsures her right eye
>uh, sir, she's never even touched a SAW before. Don't think that's a good idea...
>Are you refusing a lawful order...?
>Damn tempted to sir. Shall we take this higher?
>SFC comes over, snatches it out of my hands, and literally throws it to her
>cool, guess i'm sitting this one out
>NOPE, get stuck with the 2LT's pistol (and no spare mags) as my ONLY weapon, I'm now the "breacher"
>very first door, breacher up, kick (unlatched) door and throw imaginary flashbang
>bitch, who's second in stack, without even moving just starts holding down the trigger of the saw
>point man takes 83 sim rounds to the back of the kevlar at a distance of "muzzle was literally touching his helmet"
>I take the remaining 100ish rounds to the side and leg at a distance of less than 3 feet after she shrieks and closes her eyes/pointman falls over
>right leg is completely shredded, IBA cover is completely shredded, requires surgery and skin graft to repair (still have blue "tattoos" visible from where the ink penetrated slightly into the thigh muscle)
>bitch doesn't even get an art15, 2LT gets general's letter of reprimand (a career ender) and a "rehabilitative transfer" to Ft. Polk

>>28797830
Fucking useless.

>>28797830
everyone at least beat her an inch into her life that night though right

>>28797830
>>cheesy shit-eating grin on 5'3", modestly overweight barracks ho who has her bangs hanging out from under her helmet so badly it completely obsures her right eye
>>NOPE, get stuck with the 2LT's pistol (and no spare mags) as my ONLY weapon, I'm now the "breacher"
>>imaginary flashbang
I had been hoping this was some kind of mock-up or training exercise or something. I had been hoping people were smarter than this.

>>I take the remaining 100ish rounds to the side and leg at a distance of less than 3 feet after she shrieks and closes her eyes/pointman falls over
I expected too much.

>>28797853
Nah, she was probably given a medal and a promotion.