RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>28521642
>"No Pinkie I will not "Ravage your rump".
"Awww! Well ok! So same time tomorrow?"
>"Sure thing Ponka."

>>28521737
>*Knock-knock*
>"Open up!"
"W-w-who is it?..."
>"It's me, Panko! Open up!"
"Y-y-ou are going to tell me lewd things and m-m-molest me all night!"
>"Duh! Of course I am!"
"Alright, I'll open the door..."

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Mares think you're a true gansta.

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>>28521642
>"Oh Pin-keee! I Don't Know What To Do!"
"What happened, Rarity? "
>"Oh, it's Opalescence! She has been missing for three days! I can't find her anywhere! This is simply awful!"
"Come on, it's March, she obviously went to have her tight pussy pussy pounded."
>"In all the years I had her this never happened! What could take her so long? "
"I'm more amazed by how she could wait for it for so long!"

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I want more RGR Vinyl.

>>28521808
>Pinkie's humour is a lot rougher in RGRE
>She tells a lot more jokes like that time she said "well at least they didn't call you Rainbow Trash!" in that Wonderbolt episode
>She also makes much crasser jokes

>Next It's a "Starlight Glimmer gets into serious hot water after Pinkie made a magical date rape joke and a stallion overheard" episode
>Ponies are in mixed camps whether Pinkie is at fault for making such awful jokes or if the over-sensitive colts are at fault for jumping the gun and accusing a mare of rape because of an overheard joke

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>>28521951
She's not very popular around here.

>>28521961
>"Ya know, Dashie... it feels like we're family now"
>"What, like sisters?"
>"Oh no you silly~~ we were sisters since forever! But now I think of you as my filly!"
>"Pinkie, seriously, why the buck??"
>"Oh nothing Dashie, I just fucked your dad."

>>28521965
>Pinkie's humor sparks outrage in Ponyville Colts Quarterly
>Stallions start protests in the name of stopping date rape jokes altogether
>Mares' Rights Advocates are demonized for saying Pinkie should have the right to tell risque jokes
>A movement arises known as Stallionism to make stallions and colts more "safe" in Equestrian society

Now I can't get Gregory Alan Elliot out of my head.

>Anon decides to not rock the boat and conforms to rgr standards in his own way.
>No radical personality or interest changes, but he dosn't fight his "place" as a male.
>And keeping the trend, he waifus and remains loyal to a normal mare over the princesses, villains, elements, etc in pursuit of a quiet life.
>Said princesses, villains, and elements are baffled that this unique male would turn them down so readily.
>For a single, normal mare as well! It's almost insulting.

>>28522026
Oops, meant to reply to
>>28521961

>>28521642
That OP picture is so cute. Just stopping by to say that

>>28521993
>tfw you're in a relationship with your best friend's DILF dad and you're restraining yourself from calling her "champ"

Should I add tvs to equestria?

>>28522080
tv sucks

>>28522028
>>28522026
>Anon tries to lay low with his RGR ways
>Acts like a good colt ever since he got to Equestria
>He was always socially awkward and shy so he stays chaste
>Always liked cooking since it made people happy and it was something he could do well
>But Pinkie Pie always could bring the chan humour out of him and crack him up in just the right way
>He hears all these supposedly nice stallions saying absolutely disgusting things about his friend just because she made an off colour joke
>Tries to defend Pinkie Pie
>Stallions call Anon a gender traitor
>Accuse him of only pretending to care so he can get Female attention
>One Mare wearing a fedora spits at him as he walks past and says she hopes he gets raped for being anti-stallion rights scum

>Anon brings all of this up in his next meeting with the god horses and Luna absolutely flips her shit
>After a thorough investigation ordered by the princesses the trouble groups of stallions are found to be a supremacist movement and are accordingly charged

>They get a fraction of a sentence a mare would get for the same crime

>>28522088
still considering it for the sake of movies/culture shock but going to lean more toward papers/radio for news and shit.

>>28522093
The off-color joke that got ponka in trouble:

Bar.
>"Hey Pinks"
>"Yes, Dashie"
>"What do you think, this stallion, will he lick it?"
>"Which one?"
>"At the counter. Dark-brown coat."
>"Yep!"
>"And what about... that one! 10 o'clock, gray mane."
>"I can't tell from behind."
>The stallion turns around, scanning the crowd
>"Yipperonie! He does."
>"Pinkie, how do you even know?"
>"Easy. He has a mouth."

>>28522093
So...about a week of public breeding in the stocks? It be a pretty decent punishment I'd think.

>>28522108

>>28435975

>>28521951
>>28521965
What personality does she have?

There are a few that I like, that brash confident party girl one.
The mute that expresses herself through music?
The incredible fuck up who has everything going for her but cant keep the train on the tracks?

Definitely considering a story with her in it. Mostly a "holy shit i'm famous and want to get the away from it all" kind of deal, that has her, several mares of power/influence/celebrity who stay at anons because he is out of the way, a male who cant be swayed by power, and can make sure anything that wants to fuck with their down time/relaxation is dealt with.

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>>28522041
Oh, you flatterer, you!

>>28522108
>Luna bullshits her way into getting the offenders stuck in public stocks claiming "that's how it was in the old days"
>Some of the stallions cry, some yell about the matriarchy and how all Mares are scum
>After a full week not a single mare fucked those stallions
>They were just too ugly on the inside, the mares literally wouldn't even rape them
>The princess is hailed as a master of justice for seeing exactly how this would turn out until one of the stallions kill themselves after having their pride so thoroughly shattered. The princess is now under fire, and some ponies are saying she used her "nightmare powers" to find the stallions deepest fears
>Princess Luna cries herself to sleep again

>>28522174
>While asleep, Luna visits her detractors' dreams and makes sure they never wake up

>>28522186
>Implying she doesn't pussy out and visit the stallions giving them pleasant dreams and making sure they don't kill themselves
>Implying she doesn't consider suicide herself since everything she touches turns to shit
>Implying her sister and her friends don't notice how down she is and manage to pull her out of her funk with the power of friendship
>Implying she doesn't smile the hardest she's smiled in a while after Anon and Pinkie Pie thanks her
>Implying Luna doesn't finally allow herself to have sweet dreams

>>28522149
>The incredible fuck up who has everything going for her but cant keep the train on the tracks?
Are there any stories like this? I've never heard of this interpretation of her before

>>28522262
Trix of the trade has something like this for her. Never read the story more then half way though so it may not be exactly like this, but apparently she was a great singer and music writer, who fucked it all up with getting high and ruining her reputation.

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>>28522149
Successful, but can't actually handle the pressure, despite appearing otherwise.

>>28522277
getting high to ruin your reputation is fucking stupid, every single famous artist of some description used drugs, hell every scientist that was famous used drugs, I know if Stevin Hawking was still able to move, he would be high off his ass every other day of the week, if just so he can make it through being the smartest guy around. Also checked.

>>28522541
She kind of made a fuck ton of ponies deaf wither her hidea being an insanely powerful bass speaker that ruptures ear drums.

On the topic of drugs, to some extent yes, every artist has done something, you also see it time and time again that they take it to far and fuck their lives over. Aerosmith is a fun one where the lead singer fucked his voice horrificly with his drug of choice, whiskey mixed with heroin. Band got lucky that they got a resurgence with walk this way, as they were fucking washed up prior to that.

And that says nothing about the bands who the drug issue fucks them entirely

Or the artists who take some drugs to expand their mind, and never stop once its expanded and regress in skill.

Scientists, yes and no, a lot of it comes down to they are part of acidemia and lean liberal overall, along with trials for drugs and psychology departments. But they typically don't take it in excess to the point it fucks over their personal life.

And now, another thing people are not going to like but needed to be done.

>>28522613

>Be anon, the only human in equestria that you know of
>Be eating this extra large apple pie with your new SSP
>After the first two slices, you decided that you had enough to talk while eating
>Working out that much worked up an appetite
"So, let's get to know eachother a bit more"
>Pie half in her mouth, she looks up at you
>With an uh huh, or at least you think that's what it was, mouth full of pie and all you decided to kick this off with the big guns
"For starters, how old are you?"
>Unlike many mares and all stallions you know who would have tried to hide their age, she looks more like she has no fucking clue whatso ever,
>She finishes off her pie, scrunches her face bit in thought and just has to admit it
>"I have no idea anymore, I was several hundred years old by the time discord first rose to power, but that's about all I can remember"
>This has you taken aback, you quickly finish your mouthful
"So a bit older then sunny buns?"
>An eyebrow goes up and you don't wait for her to finish
"Celestia. Also, if I ever make some sun/butt reference its celestia, also cake. The rest of the princesses follow similar naming schemes to personalities or cutie mark"
>She finished her pie and begins to speak
>"We have no idea how old celestia is, we only know she and her sister came to power around discords peak, we don't even know if they really are sisters in the blood sense or just sisters in the we walked the same path for so long one. But it's likely we are similar in age."
>A short pause is had, you see her trying to think, but she relents and just asks
>"Also, princesses?"
>Before taking the next big bite like you are going to eat the whole damn thing if she isn't fast enough.
"Ah, can't blame you there. How long do you usually stay up here..."
>As you finish that statement you look at her, hamsters stuff less in their mouth then her

>>28522619

"...You can answer that when you finish that 'bite'. Let's see here, Celestia, Luna, Twilight Sparkle, Cadance, and twilights brother married in so prince shining armor"
>She finishes that faster than you thought she would, must be use to big loads down her throat
>"Celestia and Luna I know, but twilight and cadence?"
>In goes another, lesser bite which she finishes fast
>"OH yea, about 10-20 minutes. Normally it doesn't take long to end the lust, but putting the ponies to bed, and sometimes getting a bite to eat keeps me here longer then the act itself."
>And she goes to finish that piece
"Ok, cadence I never bothered asking about, but I like believing one day in school with her friends she made a shipping chart so complex and detailed that it pleased the gods enough they gave her a horn so she could make the shipping chart even bigger faster."
>You can tell that frantic chewing is going to ask a question
"She is the princess of love or some shit like that, and loves to imagine relationships between ponies. Rumor has it instead of a sex dungeon, she has the most serial killer conspiracy theorist looking shipping chart in the world hidden away"
>She obviously wants to ask a question but decides to let it go for another piece of the pie
"Twilight I was there to see, she fucked a spell up, un fucked it up and vaporized, then pomphed back into existence with wings."
>You see that you just added more questions to her list
"You can almost say she fucked her way up the ranks"
>This made her choke a bit on the piece of pie she was eating
"Ah, shit, I'll go get some water"
>Back from the kitchen you hand the water off to her which she downs half the glass
"You all right there"
>She gives a small chuckle
>"Yes, I'm fine"
>Another small drink is taken
>"So you asked me, how bout I return the question with how old are you?"
>Good question

>>28522624

"When I arrived here? 24? But even though celestia likes to keep a tight ship, some days are longer than others, and not in the slow passage of time earth's rotation kind of deal so it's a bit hard to say exactly how old I am now, but I want to say i'm not 30 yet."
>You get a surprised look on your bell face
>"Right, you mentioned something about that 'falling ass backwards into a portal' mind elaborating on it?"
"Yea, I was on a camping trip with my bag of can't live withouts. My friends love to go in the woods every now and then and just relax, I don't but they bring an rv with them so it's not something I'm heavily against. Meanwhile Twilight was just finishing dealing with nightmare moon and a large magic surge happened. Nightmare became luna in a big banging noise. Back in my world I tripped on the rvs shitty floor with my bag in hand, caught the wall and turned myself from falling face first on my stuff to falling ass first under it."
>You take a sip of water and see she desperately wants to know more
"Turns out, there was a portal where I fell, so, falling for what felt like hours or even days, I landed fairly gently in the corner of the room behind everyone. While everyone was hugging and watching luna, I was sitting there scared shitless looking at the pink pony that did notice me. She waved at me, I waved back and it looked like I sent her into a seizure with how she was vibrating. That's when everyone else started to notice me too."
>You take a small bit of pie, remembering the flying to the castle. The first time you teleported and found out how shit that feeling was, and the pony who did it to you knew exactly how you felt moments later.
>Good ol sunbutt got a kick out of watching twilight's horror as she got to see supper twice that day.
>Even though celestia used her most powerful cleaning spell, twilight still took a several hour long shower to 'feel clean again'

>>28522627

>She still won't teleport you anywhere if you are looking in her direction
"Due to what I came here with, along with celestia feeling guilty that her sister kind of was in all likelihood the reason for me being teleported, I get a livable stipend along with a note that gets every pony in this country to turn their head to my actions"
>You see her swallow
>"What do you mean with that note"
"Well, after telling the celestia what my world was like and what I was ripped away from, she felt obligated to try to grant me the same abilities, and since magic is something I can't do, she allows full access to anything and everything. I want to try and forge a broad sword, the books are handed to me along with a smith that will overlook my work..."
>You look up at the wall and she follows your eyes, mounted to the wall is your "sword"
>Really, all it is was elongated metal, when you found out how long it would take to make combat ready, you gave up and instead went for a small but wide knife.
>The smith was definitely not happy with you giving up on the sword, but she did like the design of the knife you made.
>She liked it enough you get royalties every time one is sold.
>You made a knife you keep on your person to this day, and got some wall art, well... after you polished it up a bit.
"Or I want to learn a spell that will literally end the world, I get to look at it."
>This really caught her attention, as she did a mild spit take
>"SHE just SHOWED you something like that?"
"Meh, the spell itself requires more magic then the world is capable of providing, even if tirek sucked every living thing dry he would have only got about 5% of what would be needed, that along with I can't use magic and she was pretty far gone due to my suggestion to make a rum cake... spell looked cool, but functionally useless."
>Eyes wide she just nods
>But let's get her back on topic

>>28522634

"So main reason I wanted to know your age, when was the last time you can remember summoned when adventures, demon hunters, witchcraft burning was a thing?"
>She finishes off her piece of pie
>"If I remember right, the last time I came out for a sub 100% complete ritual was around 150~AN"
>You whistle a bit before digging in
>"That time, was less than pleasant. Not enough magic to go back on my own, the horney mare and me were just about to get down to business when a party of adventurers barged in. The unicorn alerted them to the fact some 'dark magic' had been used, the griffon picked the lock silently so we knew nothing till it was too late, and the minotaur smashed the mare into a wall knocking her out before stabbing me..."
>She picks up her front hooves and places them right in the middle of her chest
>You see no scar, but you can imagine she is feeling something as she makes that motion
>"... Right through the chest. The scar use to be visible, but now it's almost completely gone. It was a constant reminder when I was younger and felt the craving more than now to not go out unless the ritual is 100% correct."
>She looks down a bit
>"I want to believe they didn't know what she summoned, that they thought I wasn't a succubus, but a fiend that would have gone on a rampage."
>Beelzeline looks sad, so you do what anything with a heart would do
>You get up and wrap your arm around her neck and bring her into a hug
"I'm sorry for bringing it up. What I want to get at is it's the year 1005AN now, discords out and fucking around in moderation, and any kind of adventurer party you are imagining doesn't exist, hell, even un sharpened wall art I likely own the only sword in a 50 mile radius. Sure there is the seldom expedition party that goes into the everfree, but they are mostly archaeologists, not adventurers."
>You can feel her relax in your arms
>She looks into your eyes

>>28522641

>"Thank you anon"
>Last night you had shitty lighting, but now, you can see that they are dark red on the outside and taper into yellow around the pupil
"Damn, you have really pretty eyes"
>There's that blush, and you were right, she does turn blue.
>She blinks and looks away
>"Th-Thanks, anon"
>You take the last bite of pie
>"HEY"
>Laughing a bit as you swallow, you ruffle her mane
"I'm going to look out the window upstairs and see if ponies are returning to market yet, got to get shopping done if i want food later on"

~~~~

>Be a pony
>Be far away from where you live
>Feel something is wrong
>Something is VERY wrong
>You tell the ponies you are with to go on without you, as you are needed elsewhere
>You get on the train back home
>You have a mission, should you chose to accept it
>You always do, even when they don't.

>>28522634
Got the key to end the world through rum cake, sounds legit.

>>28522702
Imagine a normal sized celestia cake, now imagine it was a rum cake. She was hung over for sure.

>>28522716
Please, she would have a hangover spell on standby, not during eating the thing obviously, but before. Now I want to see Luna and Twilight eat it too.

>>28522645
Oh shit, cutiemark found for demon hunting?

>>28522723
You think celestia is that prepared when cake is involved? I remember an old warhammer x equestria story from AiE, when shit was over and everything was sorted out, they had a banquet, celestia was giving the biggest fucking cake the guy had ever seen, she placed her hooves on the table and buried her face into the thing just devouring it. This was HER reward, and NO ONE was going to tell her how to eat it.

This is the celestia that I like imagining most when it comes to cake. Among friends, fuck the decorum and dig in.

>Be Anon in Equestria.
>Sleepan.
>You're dreaming about cheese.
>Now there's a blue horse here too.
>You offer it some cheese.
>It refuses.
>How rude!
>Fuck you horse, you're going to learn to love cheese.
>You grab the horse and hold its mouth open.
>It tries to escape but you close the door.
>Now is time for cheese, blue horse.
"Cheese."
>You shove pieces of cheese into her mouth and down her throat
>Both throat holes get all kinds of cheese shoved down them.
>You shove a little up the back way of its nose too, so it doesn't feel left out.
>Horsey tears run down its face, clearly from joy.
>Your bag of cheeses runs empty.
>You frown.
"We need more cheese."
>The bag is still empty, but now is made of burlap.
>You turn it inside out, now the emptyness is no longer on the inside of the bag.
>More cheese goes into your horsey friend, you also eat some.
>Most of it goes to the horse because you are polite.
>Looking into those horsey eyes, you see a lack of cheese.
>Which is soon fixed by pushing a few wheels into each.
>After a while there is no more room in the horse for cheese.
>All of its bits are blocked and overflowing with cheeses, even the naughty ones.
>The horse is shivering now, so you put a blanket on it and then put it into a bed with a hot water bottle.
>You leave the blue horse to rest and go back to your meal.

>Be Luna.
>You don't want to go to sleep anymore.
>You should have listened to sister when she warned you not to peep on the alien stallion.
>Why didn't you listen?

>>28522645
I like it, took me a while to figure out it was more succubutt pon thing though.
Next time use a header or something, maybe a title and link to a pastebin?

>>28522759
yea, I'll put something there next time, figured it was soon enough I didn't need to.

>>28522740
That's why its the assistants job, not hers.

>>28522759
Luna molested with cheese nightmares. I like it.

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>>28522759

>>28522772
>"Ponlet please, I am the mareliest mare that ever graced this planet, I don't need no 'hangover cure', but anon over there might"
>"Oh fuck you suncunt, ITS ON"
>Somedays you regret being a professional assistant
>Somedays you wonder if being a coal miner like the rest of your family would have panned out
>Sure you wouldn't see the sun much
>You look over to celestia muzzle deep in rum cake
>"OH ME IT BURNS"
>"You tapping out there sunbun? I mean if you want to get out eaten AND out drank at the same time as a stallion..."
>You see the fire in her eyes... or that's just the alcohol turning them red, your not sure
>"YOU WILL REGRET THIS ANON"
>But you would honestly be ok with that at this point
>Really the only thing keeping you...
>You feel his 'hand' reach down and pet you on the head
>Oh it hits every spot just right
>He bends down and whispers to you, while clestias face is completely in the rum cake
>"Once she passes out, want to do it on her throne again?"
>You smile and nod
>You think you can deal with this job for a while longer.

>>28522813
Good for her.

>>28522759
See the continuation of an old Durnk short in another short is the most bizzare thing I've seen in that thread yet

>>28522952
I honestly don't remember which thing you're talking about.

Maybe i did another thing where someone was dreaming about cheese?

>>28522645
i dont understand

>>28522983
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24962247/#24984281
and one from Skirts, kinda more fitting as a "prequel" http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28176593/#28189495

>>28523001
Adventure pon doing what cutie mark is telling her/him. Time for adventurer to slay demonbutt like ancestors did

>>28522613
No it didn't. None if it made sense and overall I just don't know what the hell I was reading.
For example:
>Be eating this extra large apple pie with your new SSP
What the fuck is SSP? Socialist Soviet Peppermint? Secret Sugar Potato?

Is this a continuation? Is there a bin so I don't feel lost as fuck? Not asking to be spoonfed here, but for fucks sake at least put a name on so we can look for the beginning to figure this thing out.

>>28523051
It's the continuation of a succubus pone story. Start here I believe: >>28507028

>>28523051
SSP stands for Sex Slave Ponecubus.

>>28523098
No, it stands for Suburban Slut Porcupines

>>28523103
I'm going with >>28523103 over >>28523098 for the definition of SSP.

>>28523062
Oh, I didn't read that due to presence of futa. That explains some things.

>>28523107
It's pretty decent, and the futa mention was the only mention in the whole story so far, so I don't think you have anything to worry about.

>>28523048
From this we can extrapolate durnk's deepest fetish. Foodplay involving cheese with Luna. This fantasy sits at yhe very core of his sexuality.

>>28523107
>Not liking futa
There's nothing wrong with chicks and dicks, so why would you hate it when you combine them?

>>28523103
Fucking Porcupines stealing our stallions!

>>28523103
>>28523098
*COUGH* *COUGH* Special somepony *COUGH* *COUGH*

>>28523138
Theres also nothing wrong with dicks and coffee but that doesn't mean I want dicks in my coffee.

>>28523158
>not wanting coffee in your dicks

What are you, some kind of pleb?

>>28523127
Durnk mare in a sea of cheese when?

>>28523172
>coffee in dicks
Is that like a coffee enema that all the hollywood actors swear by, just more painful?

>>28523158
Not one of your greatest analogies.

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>>28523158
>”Anon put your dick in my coffee.”
“That doesn’t sound like a pleasant experience. So I’m going to say no to any future burns on my dick.”
>”All you stallions are the same. How come no one wants to put their dick in my coffee?”
>This was the day Anon realized he stuck his dick in crazy, and now that crazy wanted him to stick it in a hot beverage.

>>28523192
It's meant to be a direct copy of what he said. Just because two things are great doesn't mean they are better together.

>>28523224
Depends. Are we talking McDonalds, $3 Million coffee? Or is this one of those refrigerated Starbucks things?

>>28523247
If you're sticking your dick in coffee, it better be the best damn coffee you're sticking it into. Like coffee from the kopi luwak or something.

>>28523768
Would that count as anal?

>page 7
lads no

>>28522186
>Luna makes it so that they perceive time much slower in their dream than in real life
>Stallions wake up after experiencing 6 months of awareness in just under 8 hours
>They never say a word against Luna ever again

>>28524322
Six months without a hooficure or visit to the spa.
Six months without being able to check up on the latest fashions.
Six months without being able to gossip.
Six months of getting cheese stuck in every orifice by a ape stallion.

>>28524410
Luna accidentally brings in stallions in her nightmare from Anon, Anon still stuffs all the holes.

>>28523824
If her name is Coffee or some variation, then yeah.

>>28524437
>Coffee Cream

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>>28521374
boy im slow

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So I startet reading reading SingleDadnon.
At first I thought it was really hot but now I can't fap to cadence anymore.
I just want to punch her face in.

>>28524627
And the problem?

>>28524627
Shukaku ruined Cadence for a lot of people. I still want to read more about her and Anon though

>>28524627
Yeaaaah that happens. Luna a cute though.

>>28524673
If I can remember by the time I finish the MH Anon story, I'll go back and do an alternate timeline for that story. One where Cadence isn't an egg donating cunt punt target.

>>28524706
One where Cadence and Anon are happily married, then Luna comes along and tries to seduce him away from his wife?

>>28524723
Or he just has a happy family with Condense and deals with Crissy taking his wife, would he still fuck her?

>>28524706
Yes, please. Good feels between Anon and Cadence would be amazing.

>>28524670
It's a good story! There is no problem with it.

Is there art of Venus?

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>>28524811
No.

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>>28524811
Nor this.

>tfw no LaP bugbutt
You got my hopes up and then you threw them away. One day is one day too many.

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>>28524991
>tfw no qt bugpones to cuddle at night

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>>28524885
>>28524989
Thats a bummer

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>>28525127
I know...

>>28525173
If we just had a drawfag...

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>>28525188
Yeah. One who could make art like this.

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>>28525200
Or that. But alas, we can only dream

>>28525200
>>28525280
One day...
Hope never dies!

I want to treat the ponies like they are children.
"Wow, that's a nice drawing. Did you make that yourself?"
"Oh wow, you sure are strong."
Just using this really demeaning voice like you are talking to a child or a retard.

Continuing from last thread
(It's that story with Waffles and Steel in it.)

>The bell that once lay undisturbed now rung from above the wooden framed glass door, alerting the patrons of the café that a visitor had arrived.
>Ponies scattered throughout the fashionable, wooden interior turned their attention to you to see whether or not you were who they were expecting.
>All gazes briskly looked away, barring one.
>The pony whose gaze that belonged to made a brisk, inviting gesture with her gray hoof.
>With your head hung low, you navigate through the swanky seating arrangements dotting the café to sit with your boss.
>”Good morning, Anon. I hope your day, so far, has been pleasant.”
>You turn your unenthused gaze upwards to regard her.
>You take in her Sunday best, which consists of a green sweater vest and a hair tie that gave her a second pony tail.
“I suppose my day has been pleasant, thank you for asking.”
>”If your day has been pleasant, why are you wearing the long face?”
>At that question, your gaze goes harsh for a split second. You quickly regain your gloomy expression, and hope that your flash of true emotion wasn’t quick enough to notice.
>”I see, I understand that you don’t want to be here, but I wanted to get to know you better. You are after all, my only employee, and not to mention that you are single.”

>>28525537
“Steel, I want to make it clear that I am not interested. So if you would...”
>”Nonsense, surely! Anon, trust me, you are interested, or at least will be after tonight.”
“Steel.”
>”I have two tickets to a play at noon at the finest theatre Ponyville has to offer, and that is saying nothing of the seats I got for us. It will be very enjoyable, trust me.”
“Okay Steel, but after the play I have business I need to tend to, so I can’t stay and chat.”
>”We shall see how important that business will be after the play, okay.”
“I suppose we will, but laundry is pretty important, if you couldn’t tell by the condition my clothes are in.”
>She shifts her gaze downwards to ogle at the hole in your shirt.
>”Oh, I have a whole washing kit at my house you could use for free!”
”It’s fine, Steel, really.”
>“Come now, I know how pressed for money you are. It’s the least I could do for you.”
“No, really, Steel, it’s fine.”
>”I insist!”
“And I insist that I go to the laundromat!”
>”Fine, Anon, you are very determined to go to the laundromat for some reason.”
“Indeed.”
>With that you give a quaint nod of you head to finish the exchange.

>>28525543
>As if on que, your coffee arrives.
“I didn’t order this.”
>The waitress looks over to your hostesses.
>”She ordered this for you, sir.”
>The waitress then sets, more than likely, the lightest brown you had ever seen in from of you.
>The plate your cup of cream sat on was adorned with flower petals and a tiny pyramid of sugar cubes.
>You look back to Steel.
“Well, we should get going, I happen to know that the only theatre in Ponyville is a fair distance out of town. We wouldn’t want to be late would we?”
>”Don’t you want to drink your coffee?”
“Yes, but I’m afraid we just simply lack the time.”
>Her eyes quickly land on a clock, adorning a nearby wall.
>Only ten minutes had passed since ten.
>She relays this information back to you.
“Yes, and that’s ten minutes too many, let’s go!”
>You turn quickly and start pacing out of the café.
>The sound of bits hitting the table is heard among the chatter of the coffee shop, signaling that steel was coming.

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>>28525556
>>28525543
>>28525537
Samefag

>>28525556
You're good at making me hate a character, so......good job?

>>28525556
I want to see more just so I can watch Anon spite this shit as hard as possible.

Damn now I want to write for this thread too but i have the tendency to go drimderp.

Potentially stupid/questionably RGRE idea inbound:

>Rumors about it abound
>Especially in the criminal underworld of Equestria
>A small handful of those who have spent time in Canterlot's dungeons tell of the creature

>A creature that could track them across half a continent
>Through cities, and through the wilderness
>Wards could not keep it out
>Illusions were not good enough to fool it for long
>Taking to wing was no use, pegasus guards patrolled the skies at it's command.
>Even the Everfree proved no refuge
>It prowled the dangerous forest as if it belonged there.

>When a fugitive drew the interest of the Diarch's
>The Hunter was unleashed
>Whether from it's own darkened cell under Canterlot
>Or temporarily freed from the infernal prison of Tartarus
>It would be free, and soon, you would not be.

>Very few have ever met the human
>Most do not even know his name
>Or that he is a he

>>28525907
The princesses just tell him there's a pony who really needs some cuddles and he's off.

>>28525921
>Anon sings really creepy lullaby songs under his breath
>This terrifies the ponies he's hunting when they're within ear-shot
>Anon is just prepping himself for some Advanced Cuddling
>"Out like a light in under five minutes. Then I can play with their hoofsies."

>>28525921
>"Anon? There's a mare living somewhere in Canterlot who needs a big hug. You see, she lost her baseball, and now she's hitting things with a bat. It's probably really red and messy, since she broke that raspberry jam jar."

>>28525656
Thanks man
>>28525556
>The walk to the theatre was filled with forced silence on you end.
>Any time Steel attempted to instigate conversation, you would inform her that you were trying to admire your serene surroundings.
>Frankly, you didn’t care for the grassy field you were pacing over, you just didn’t want to talk to Steel.
>You reach the theatre after a short walk.
>The clock by the admission booth reads 8:30, leaving you plenty of time to sit in silence.
>And sit in silence, you did. Steel finally caught on to the fact that you wouldn’t speak anything of value to her and about thirty minutes into the test of endurance, her frustration came to a head.
>”’Know what Anon, just go home! You clearly don’t want to be here and I won’t make you sit here any longer.”
>Steel stands to be at head height with you, forcing your attention to her eyes.
>”I’ll just go find someone who would appreciate the opportunity to sit with me in the luxury balcony.”
>She firmly harrumphs and begins the walk back to Ponyville, and so do you, taking a different path, of course.

>>28525989
>About thirty steps into your trip, you are interrupted by the sound of galloping.
>”Why aren’t you following me, Anon? Do you not want to sit on the luxury balcony and watch this sold out play?”
>You turn to face her.
“No, I don’t want to sit on the luxury balcony and watch this play.”
>You then return to your walk.
>”You know, Anon, you are the least friendly person I know.”
“That should be expected, as I am not your friend, I am your employee. That will be all I will ever be.”
>Your pace stays steady, despite the bomb you just dropped.
>”You won’t even be that, you’re fired!”
>She begins wail and run away after screaming at you.
>You don’t care, at this point you just want to go home.

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>>28525989
>Frankly

>>28525949
>"Also Equis isn't her first language, so if she says something that sounds a bit like "I'll kill you", that just means she's excited to see you."

>>28525998
I want to feel bad for Anon, but there's a tiny pony who's crying because Anon doesn't want to be special someponies. His reaction is completely justified, but there's STILL a tiny pony who's upset that Anon doesn't want to be her coltfriend. I'm so conflicted.

'Member that story about Anon being Twilight's biological father by demonic summoning? 'Member that other story where Anon was mistaken for a woman but Discord changed him into one so Fluttershy be lesbians with him?

I liked those stories.

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>>28526230
Of course I remember the dead, Anon.

>>28525998
What a little baby back bitch.

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>>28525998
Shuttin' down that pone hard. Good job, Anon. Leave no room for doubt.

>>28525661
I meant to thank this guy, sorry.
>>28525998
>Rain begins to bombard you as you walk back to your apartment.
>It does nothing to your pace, and you continue as if it weren’t there. It wasn’t important, no, what was important is that you just got fired and that you also have someone who is depending on you to take care of them.
>Why do you do these things Anon?
>You enter your apartment complex soaking head to toe.
>Your clothes now release the pungent odor of your stink, combined with rainwater.
>You can’t go to the laundromat today, unless you would prefer the smell of strong mildew over light sweat.
>The freezing temperature of the apartment complex seeps through your wet clothing immediately, chilling you to the bone.
>You fight the urge to shiver.
>Up one flight of stairs you see a damp, Waffles sitting patiently outside your door.
>Eventually, she spots your growing figure coming up the stairs.
>She stands to greet you.
>”O-oh, h-h-hi A-A-A-non”
>You begin to hear her teeth clatter as you approach.
>She has given up the futile attempt of talking to you and just decides to watch as you open your door.
>Once the door was open, you gestured for her to enter.

>>28526675
>She clambered her way inside and took in the view of your one room apartment.
>A bed, a window, a broken chair, and a pile of clothes.
>It wasn’t much, but it was something.
>You usher her towards you bed and allow her to get under the covers.
>Instantly, she bunches them up and pulls them around her figure.
>She lay shivering as you merely watched.
>What more could you do?
>From her fit of shivering, she finally decided to point her gaze towards you.
>She looked into your eyes and started to convulse less.
>Her shivering now was like the shake of a Chihuahua.
>”Thank you Anon, I got caught in the rain, and there’s no heating in the hallways.”
“You’re welcome. You are also welcome to my bed, tonight I can sleep on the floor until I find a better sleeping arrangement.”
>”Oh, no no no, I am your guest, Anon. If anyone is sleeping on the floor, it’s me!”
>She pulls the covers away from herself and hops onto the hardwood.
“Really, Waffles, you can take the bed.”
>”Are you sure, Anon?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
>Waffles starts to move back into your bed, slowly, not taking her eyes of you.
>You see her complete the motion of entering your bed and covering herself.
>Satisfied, you collect all of the dirty clothes around your house and pull them into a mattress of sorts.
>With a slop, you lay your soaking form onto your mound of dirty cloth.
>An awkward silence then follows.
>Neither of you know what to say.
>She is just watching you, and you are trying to avoid freezing to death.

>>28526687
>Eventually, she speaks up.
>”So, it’s only noon, do you have anything to do?”
“I used to have a chair that I used to look out the window, but I’m sure you can guess what happened to it.”
>Both of your gazes shift to the mess in the center of the room.
>”Is that what that loud noise from last night was all about?”
“Yes”
>”Oh, well I’m sorry about that.”
>She rubs the back of her neck with a hoof.
“You have nothing to be sorry about.”
>”I feel like it was kinda my fault though.”
“Don’t feel like that, I knew how weak that chair was and I pushed it over it’s limit, it’s not your fault.”
>”All right, I guess.”
>Silence, again, fills the air.
>”Once this rain lets up, do you mind helping me move all my stuff into here?”
“Not at all, I would actually like to have something to liven up this place.”
>You look all around your nearly empty apartment.
>”Yeah, I can imagine.”
>”So, are you sure you have nothing to do but talk and listen to the rain?”
“I have some bits”
>”And”
“We can play a game with them, maybe.”
>”I’ve never played any game with bits, before.”
“Most of the games aren’t the best, but I do have a favorite I used to play with my friends.”
>She continues looking at you, as if gesturing you to continue.
“It’s called bloody knuckles.”

>>28526697
>”Is that one of those frilly games that stallions play? Because it doesn’t really sound like one with the “bloody” and all.
“I don’t know what frilly games “stallions” here play, but I can tell you that this one isn’t very frilly, at least, not in my opinion.
>”Then show me how to play.”
>You pat the floor next to you and she makes her way to where your hand was patting.
>You see her recoil on contact with the chilling floor, but eventually her body heat intermingles with it to make it bearable.
>She shuffles and begins to make herself comfortable before speaking.
>”Well, how do you play?”
>You withdraw a bit from your pocket and spin it between the two of you.
>You both observe the quarter as it spins.
>When it starts to slow, you poke it with your finger, reinvigorating the coin.
“Your turn, keep the coin going.”
>The coin begins to slow, and her unskilled hoof simply knocks the coin to the right a bit.
>It spins flat for a moment before coming to a stop on heads.
“Bloody Knuckles!”

>>28526714
>You retrieve the coin from the ground and then proceed to throw it at one of Waffles front hooves that lay dormant on the floor.
>”Ouch! That hurt!”
>The mark of a coin edge left an imprint on the front of her hoof, and she hastily rubbed at it to lessen the pain.
“That’s the game, both parties must keep the coin spinning, and if one fails to keep the coin in motion, they will have the coin thrown onto their knuckles, or hoof, in this case.”
>”Oh, I get it. Let me try.”
>She grabs the coin with the frog of her hoof and spins it slowly.
>It’s too slow, you aren’t able to keep spinning it.
>As you finger touches it, it falls to the floor.
>”Bloody Knuckles!”
>She grabs the coin and throws, quicker than a gunslinger and shoot his revolver.
>It impacts and pain shoots throughout your unprepared hand.
“Fuck!”
>She giggles at your display of pain while you grope for the coin with you injured hand.
>The coin finds itself in your hand, eventually, and then begins to spin again.
“Round two, here we go!”
>The next few hours in the apartment complex consist of timely screams and the distinct pitter patter of rain droplets hitting the roof.

>>28526721
I'm a retarded. Why is Waffles moving in with Anon?

>>28524760
>Good feels
No drama?

>Anon appears a little before the beginning of the show.
>Cadence is the first pony he runs into.
>In her usual lovey nature, she takes the shaken human to the castle and uses her own time and funds to get him settled.
>Shining, her longtime coltfriend, thinks little of it. That's just how Cadence is.
>Once Anon is settled and returns to his normal self, he spends as much of his time with Cadence as he can, eager to repay her.
>Again, Shining is unperturbed. Other ponies have done that.
>But to Cadence's surprise, spending time with Anon, the marely alien, becomes her favorite activity.
>And that only intensifies when Anon starts growing bold with his open affection.
>He even starts going out of his way to make her happy and stick with her, even when she's wrong.
>It's almost like...
>To her horror, she feels her love for Shining fading.
>And her love of Anon growing out of control.
>Now Shining is starting to see a problem. Cadence always seems distracted around him. Always thinking. And more than once, she's had to stop and correct his name when saying it.
>Cadence is caught in a horrid situation. She knows the prideful stallion and deathly loyal ape would ever share, but who does she pick?!?
>For the first time in Equestria's history, a mare is distressed that more than one male likes her.

>>28526773
waffles spent her money on the reservation for her and anon

>>28526773
She is broke, and doesn't know, yet, that Anon is also equally as broke.

>>28526773
She got poor as fuck after her last failed attempt at getting in anon's pants. She made reservations to some fancy as fuck restaurant. He didn't care, turned her down any way.

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>>28526779

>>28526779
herd

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>>28526843
>tfw no herd

>>28526859
>two or more girls will never love you so much that they will agree to share you
>you will never be that valuable to someone

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>>28526859
Could you handle it, /rgre/?

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>>28526898
It's okay, anon.

They don't exist anyway.

>>28524322
>>28524410
Oh dude, you have no idea how horrible a punishment this is till you experience something like it. A long ass time ago I had a fever and hallucinated, I think it happened twice, but one time I was stuck in my bed 'out of body experience' looking at me sleep from a top down view of my room. Nothing to do, no way to force myself to wake up, nothing was working, and it dragged on for what felt like days, having not experienced torture of other kinds, Ill still argue that as long as you have your teeth and can move your jaw, you have an out, you don't have anything in your dreams like this.

>>28524706
Is she going to be the herd master, bringing in those she finds worthy? Will bug butt get a surprize proposition? able to be any mare in the world beings a lot of potential to the bedroom.

>>28526721
Anon comes off as an unlikable cunt, I don't feel even a little bad for him.

The way he's acting is called 'cutting off your own nose to spite your face' for a reason, you might get a bit of short term satisfaction, but in the long term you just fuck up your own life.

Minor thing or whatever. I have a few more scenes planned out, but work is siphoning all of my free time.
>>28513680

>Comfy's Status: Speechless
>"..."
>"...pfft."
>"Wh-"
>"PffHAHAHAH! Oh, you should've seen the look on your face!"
>Comfy's confusion has now doubled
>"I dont-"
>"It's a joke, a 冗談! A マイケル 冗談!"
>CK(?) laughs even harder while Comfy stares in shock
>Eventually, she calms down
"Haah...Hah. I, I'm sorry. Really scared you there, didn't I?"
>Comfy finally recovers
>"I-I don't understand."
>"It's alright. I kind of get off track sometimes. Oh, crackers. My glasses are all foggy now."
>For some reason, CK craned her neck skywards before removing her eyewear
>Intrigued, Comfy decided to take a closer look, and her breath ceased
>Literally

>>28527503

>For a split second where Comfy peeked at CK's eyes, her body froze
>Unable to move anything, Comfy could only gaze into those baleful orbs as their owner wiped down their cover
>CK's irises are like kaleidoscopes, constantly shifting from color to color
>Comfy is mesmerized, like a crab being lured into a broadclub cuttlefish's patterns
>Although her mind is trying to escape, her body wont let her
>And while every second seemed to drag on into infinity, she feels like she's running out of time
>"There we go! All good."
>The aviator shades were slid back on, and Comfy was released just in time to plop back into her seat
>"So, I was just-whoa. You look like you've seen a ghost."
>Comfy couldn't respond
>As of now, a single thought plagued her mind
>'This mare also has an ability!'
>After witnessing her power firsthand, she is 100% sure that "CK" is not to be trusted
>"Uh, sorry about that. It's just the weather, y'know?"
>"Ahh, a cold. Gotta take care of yourself, then. Especially since flu season's coming around."
>Comfy couldn't read this mare at all
>She was like the portrait of Pona Lisa: bright and stoic at the same time
>"Y-Yeah."
>"Hmm. What was I talking about? Oh yeah! I've been asking around town-"
>CK pulls out a picture to show, and Comfy freezes again, this time on her own accords
>"-for where this lady might be. Do you know anything on her whereabouts?"
>Right in Comfy's face, is a Polaroid of LaP
TO BE CONTINUED

Oh yeah and also CK's CoolKids for those who are confused

i dont get it

why has there been such a sudden bout of meta stories

>>28526904
Fuck no. Any one sounds good. Two, doable but a handful. Four? That's asking for trouble.

>>28526904
I'd definitely try.

>>28526904
>>28527581
>>28527589
I honestly wouldn't even know how to handle one relationship, let alone four.

>>28526721
>Light
>Time to go to work?
>No, not today.
>Back to sleep then?
>No, it feels like you wet yourself all over your body.
>Get up, maybe?
>No, there’s a rhythmically breathing mass of flesh pushed up beside you that you are going to assume is a sleeping Waffles.
>Sneaky cur.
>In maybe ten minutes you will remind her of rule number 3, but honestly its nice having warmth for the moment.
>Your room usually stays at a chilly 60 degrees Fahrenheit, and being soaking wet at that temperature for several hours can do some serious harm.


>After hitting the metaphorical snooze button, you erupt.
>You roll of your pile of clothes onto the freezing hardwood.
>You still feel like you have pissed yourself.
>You need some new clothes.
>With all of the sound and motion that came with your movement, Waffles started to stir.
>She rolled onto her back and opened her eyes.
>They kept themselves firmly planted on the ceiling for a moment, before returning to their shelter behind brown eyelids.

>>28527662
>You wanted a shirt that she was sleeping on it appeared to the least dirty.
>You yank the shirt and flip Waffles onto your floor.
>The second her stomach hit the floor she was standing.
>”And good morning to you too, Mr. Anon!”
>She frowned at you before cracking a tiny smirk.
>Your mouth keeps its seal of morning crust as you pick more dirty clothes from your sleeping pile.
>Once you have an outfit, you step over your glistening, coin covered floor and lay down behind your bed.
>You force your mouth open and bark at Waffles.
“Don’t look over here for a second.”
>”Okay.”
>You exchange each wet article of clothing with a dry one and jump out from behind your bed.
>You find Waffle’s profile staring at a wall, her pupil still slightly visible.
>She is not very convincing.
“You can look again.”
>A sigh of relief flows from her mouth as she was allowed, once again, to not have to watch where she looked.
“All right, Waffles, I need to go to work. Afterwards, I will help you move, okay.”
>”You got it Anon, I’ll see you soon! Oh, and thanks again for letting me crash here, I truly appreciate it.”
“It’s not a problem, as long as you don’t wreck the place while I’m gone.”
>”I won’t, promise.”
“Oh, and in the future, please refer to rule number 3 of my household.”
>”Oh, okay will do.”
“Repeat rule number 3 to me for clarification.”
>”I won’t break any of Anon’s stuff.”
“Rule number 3, is actually, I will keep my hooves to myself.”
>A look o realization hits her, and a light blush follows.
>You use this opportunity to slip out the door.

>>28526779
"Shinning, its not so bad..."
>The stallion looks up, angry at you
>"Not so bad? huh. We must have different definitions of bad then because form my point of view, I'm losing the love of my life to a celestia damn interdenominational predator APE."
>You wince at that, its true.
"But shinning, I still love you, and I think I'm coming to love anon too."
>Shinning continues to sulk
"Look, I already talked to anon, and we think we can make this work"
>Genuine confusion creeps up on his face...
>Better then being pissed I guess
"Anon, said that he cant get me pregnant, most science says he will never have an offspring as the earliest any of them think they could reverse engineer anything magic or alchamicly to work would be just in the end of what he expects to be his life"
>You can see it in shinning eyes, empathy, even for someone who is threatening to take what he has away
>There is a reason you love this colt.
"But anon still wants kids, or to at least raise a family"
>He is nodding along
"Anon also said I have 3 holes he is interested in..."
>And he is back to mad
"... while you have 2 he could use"
>Anon said you could have a bit of fun with convincing him, and you are beginning to understand what he meant.
"We could be one big happy 2 colt one mare herd, if you are willing to bottom"
>Really, anon just said 'I'm down for a 2 man herd as long as a dick isn't going in my ass if it means I'm with you'
>"You know what, I think we can make this work"
>He looks up at you cheerful
"Excellent"
>You nuzzle him and he nuzzles back
>You magic over a bag
"We can try a test run tonight and anon would like you to wear that, I love you but I have to run and make preparations"
>You leave the room before shinning can check the bags contents
>You always wanted to see him in a prench maid outfit
>You think anon would at least be interested to see it too
>You cant wait till tonight.
>It will either be funny or sexy, either one would be nice.

>>28526904
With the princesses? probably.
Twilight and cadence would need the most maintenance work.
Celestia, while having a millennia of baggage, would also be mature enough to not dump it all on you and expect it dealt with at once.
Luna could easily assist with dreams, bringing them in, and dealing with shit in our sleep, along with not bringing baggage shit up irl
From there its all about spending that time with each of them.

Twilight would be reading books, not to her, but with her in your lap, while you read your own as she got sick of waiting for you slow ass to finish.
Cadance seems like she would be the more 'experience' type and would drag me places, but world of talking horses, I'm down for seeing new shit.
When not literally trying to drown herself in cake, celestia seems like quiet time spent together would be her pastime of choice
leaving luna, which would likely want to experience your world through your dreams.

Sex wise, twilight and cadance would fuck you dry while celestia had a 1000 year long dry spell, and luna had a 1000 year long forced celibacy, while being to socially inept to get someone before you came along.

dealing with everything else would be easy, but 4 horney mares, 2 of which are centuries old, one is the princess of love, and one is the princess of friendship... I'm willing to risk death.

>>28527493
His boss is a bitch that held his job over his head to get a date from him, he is completely justified in being an ass to her, same with Waffles, he told her repeatedly that he wasn't interested, even when she screwed herself over to try to get a date. Anon might be a dick but he never led them on and or had a real choice in the matter. I am completely fine with how he has been responding.

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>>28526779
>>28528039
Shining gets to be the waifu now.
Would read more.

>>28527678
>Firing an employee for turning down your advances.
Ex-bosspon a shit.
More when?

>>28527493
I don't see this, Anon seems reasonable and if anything, too willing to go along with the bullshittery of the ponies.
Where is he being spiteful?

>>28526784
>>28526781
>>28526783
>>28526773
Waffles cannot into managing money.
Both are dirtpoor living like dirtponies.

>>28527517
I have no idea what is going in in this story.

>>28523127
>TFW nobody gets it.

>>28523048
Heh, that was amusing.
We need more stories where Luna is fucked with through dreams.

>>28522783
Do it fgt.

>>28528094
This.
Anon has no obligation to be romantically interested or involved with anyone, not even if it would make them sad to not be with him.

>>28528554
freaking yellow anon..

>>28528554
Not RGRE enough. If that was a colt and it looked like a testicle bra, sure, it'd be RGRE but its not.

>>28529048
Get real. It's a mare wearing soft, white stallion spats.

>>28528094
Preach it!

>>28528039
>"... while you have 2 he could use"
>>28490798

>>28529577
the joke went over your head didn't it.

>>28529587
It was pretty straight forward Anon.

>>28528094
Let's see how long Anon's pride will put food in his stomach and a roof over his head.

>>28529623
In a world where he's the fair sex, probably a fair while.

>>28529661
>Anon is brought home and off the streets primarily by white knights who expect him to eat all the eggs

>>28529768
>you have to eat all the cake

>>28529786
Somebody should tell Celestia that cake isn't real food.

>>28528554
How come even Koreans have gotten into the 'Anonymous' meme?

Do they have Korean Horse-Raising Clubs over there?

>>28529786
>>28529790
Luna uses feeding a down on his luck Anon all the cake as an excuse to feed Anon Celestia's cakes. Celestia can't turn down a sob story like Anon's, the poor colt. It may lead to extra cuddles.

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>>28529790
"But Luna! Luna, look!"
>You pick Anonymous up in your magic and smoosh he cheeks together with your forehooves.
"He's all alone out there in that big, scary world! Who knows how many times he's had to choke down his pride and turn rough tricks with mares just so that he could eat that day?"
>Luna doesn't look at you; she's too busy face-hoofing.
"Can't we keep him? Please? I promise to look after him and wash him and get him out of that awful lingerie he keeps wearing."
>"Stallions aren't pets, sister."
>You hug Anonymous closer, thankful now that you gave him a bath and had his "jacket" and "jeans" and all those other sexy garments washed beforehoof.
"Please? He followed me home."
>Luna finally looks at you.
>She looks tired and irritated; for once, she looks like the bigger sister.
>"Why art thou even asking Us for permission? Art thou the highest authority in the land, or art thou not?"
>You can feel hope blossom in your heart.
"Is that a yes? I promise to feed him lots of cake, Luna."
>Luna throws her hooves up into the air and stalks out of the room.
>"Despite thine leanings otherwise and thy efforts to change countless laws that say otherwise; cake is NOT a food group!"
>Blasphemy.
>You cuddle Anonymous closer and ignore his half-hearted protests.
"Don't listen to the mean mare, Anonymous. Cake is TOTALLY a food group. It's how I keep my strong, feminine good looks."
>You slap your rump for emphasis and notice how Anonymous seems entranced by way it jiggles.
>.....
>Maybe you won't need to break out the peanut butter this time.

>>28529906
I don't know whether to be aroused, insulted, or dying on the ground from laughter. it is an odd feeling.

>>28529923
Why not all 3?

>>28529931
fair enough, WE SHALL SPANK THE ROYAL BOOTY WHILE BALLS DEEP!

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>>28529906
>You slap your rump for emphasis and notice how Anonymous seems entranced by way it jiggles.

We've had culture clash on an individual level, but has anyone gone deeper than that? I remember someone did a story years back in another thread about a space fairer Anon that showed it well.

>Twilight and the princesses wants to know more about humans (and maybe their secrets)
>Anon hesitates, saying that what he has to say may fuck them up forever due to the huge advancement difference.
>Twilight gives the go-ahead before princesses can think.
>They get a rundown of the violent culture space travel bred.
>Moves onto explaining space.
>As far as the ponies know, their planet, sun, and moon are all there is.
>Starts off explaining quantum foam, strings, then space and how it traveling in it works. Humans have explored only the Virgo cluster.
>Moves all they way up to galaxies, super clusters, the universe and the multiverse.
>And sure enough, all his listeners are messed up from the realization of how small they are.

Not really Rgre, but highlighting the difference between ponies and humans is always fun.

>>28530223
it is fun, but twiggles here would either brush him off as colt whimsy or take the information and credit it herself.

>>28530223
that sounds, as is, more appropriate for here >>28449143
i would like to see it either way however, it sounds fun to read

>>28530223
>”How is this possible!?!?!?”
“It really wasn’t that difficult, just took time is all.”
>”You must be a wizard, it’s the only way.”
>Twilight continued to study the ship in the bottle that you had been working on.
>Questions kept coming if humanity possessed the ability to shrink and enlarge vessels in this manner and if you could teach her.

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>>28530251
>or take the information and credit it herself
STOP WRITING TWILIGHT LIKE SHE WERE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>28530488
you reeeeee because you know she would if she were in sexiest equestria, or regular equestria as well.

>>28530488
But Anon, she /is/ a piece of shit.
:^)

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>>28530488
>Twilight is bitter and jaded when it comes to stallions after so many tried to get under her tail just for status.
>Gets even worse when she becomes a princess, but now she can't be rude about it.
>Then comes Anon, who lives with her in the castle because (reason here)
>And he is... Not interested in her?
>Twi is baffled that this male ISNT trying to sneak a ring onto her. She figured he'd try atleast once. Especially with how he's in close proximity to her often and can see her wealth and influence.
>Nope. The tall male takes care of himself, lives in a spartan manner, seems uncaring of his social status, and abhors "the cheap, easy way"
>Why is he so different?
>Twi tackles what maybe her biggest project yet.
>Get closer to the human, and find out what makes him immune to the things other males can't live without.
>Maybe, she'll find something more..?

Stupid misunderstandings
>Anon is building a thing
>Mare offers to help him
>He's not going to turn down free help
>Ponies + human tools don't mix
>Mare hurts herself
>The next morning, he finds his toolbox missing
"Those tools were dangerous, so I threw them into the river. Don't worry, I have my own so you can just call me whenever you need to make something."

>>28530850
Pony rivers are perfectly clear and slow moving(not to mention shallow) and human tools are metal. He finds them within an hour. Especially because the pony didn't really take them far.

>>28530862
>The next day, her tools have mysteriously gone missing, and she has to borrow Anon's tools

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since alicorns are like swans and swans have intense mating rituals and mate for life

does that mean the princesses would have lengthy courtship rituals

>>28531355
Yes
It lasts for like 200 years
Nopony has ever lived to the end

>>28531370
But Shining...

>>28531479
Never ask a stallion his age.

>>28531479
With him it was literally love at first sight, which means anything less than five years of courtship.

>>28531355
Do you think Celestia hisses at ponies she's mad at?

>>28531567
Probably honks.

>>28530488
It's okay, Anon. Take pleasure in knowing it's mostly no-talent hacks who UNIRONICALLY jump on the "Twilight is an awful piece of shit" train. Half the time they're actual autists who were legitimately upset when Twilight became an alicorn, and the other half they're people who only know how to write cliches and two dimensional characters.

>>28531696
Swanlestia is real

>>28531567
>>28531696
Luna hisses and tries to bite ponies; Celestia honks and tries to hit them with her wings. It's actually really cute, though - Celestia doesn't actually honk, she literally yells the word "honk" until the pony she's mad at goes away.

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>>28531355
>tfw no swan alicorn waifu

>tfw page 8
You guys used to be cool.

>>28524542
sauce is needed

We swans?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4SzHoRhbaE

>>28524542
>>28532298
>"This is how I eat! This is the real me!"

>>28513700

>Be Anon
>You head inside the castle and remember, you have no idea where to go.
>You wander aimlessly around for what seems like forever.
>You finally find yourself in a large library like room.
“Hello? Twilight you in here?”
>You shout.
>You could hear your voice echo through the room.
>”Hello Anonymous.” Says a voice behind you causing you to jump.
>You turn to see a big blue pony.
>You say big in comparison to other ponies as she only comes up to your chest.
“Who are you, and how do you know my name!?”
>She begins to giggle.
>”I am princess Luna. But you may just call me Luna. “ She says with a smile “And to answer why I know your name, Twilight Sparkle told us. “
“Okay then, do you know where she is? I’ve been wondering around here for awhile.”
>”Yes, she is speaking with my sister Celestia. When you hadn’t showed up for awhile Twilight remembered that you were new to the castle, and my sister requested for me to find you. “ She says beginning to walk. “Come now, My sister is waiting.”
>And so you follow her not wanting to be lost anymore.
>You go down some corridors even passing what you believe to be the kitchen.
>Some weird purple lizard was cooking something.
>God you’re glad he didn’t come find you. You probably would have football putted him and ran.
>You and Luna reach to big doors.
>”Wait out here for a bit Anonymous while I make sure we may enter. “ She says opening the doors.

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>>28532540
>After a long wait she exits.
>”I am sorry but they request to speak alone for a while.” Luna says with a frown. “But don’t worry, how about we talk while we wait. You must have as much questions about our land as I about yours.”
“Yah, that sounds a bit fun.”
>Luna perks up like a kid on Christmas.
>”Wonderful! I hast been wonderin-“ she stops herself in the middle of some ye olden speak. Honestly you thought it was cute.” I mean, I have been wondering about your world.” She says with a false grin.
>Should you really tell her about your world?
>You obviously can’t tell her all of your world’s history.
>You end up telling her about your technology and a small bit if history. Leaving out war and slavery not wanting to scare her.

>Be Luna
>Did you really do that?!
>Your first impression with a creature that doesn’t know about your history and you pull out the ‘hast’ and ‘tho’ speech!?
>Good going Luna now he probably thinks you’re some kind of crazy.
>although he is telling you about his world and it’s ‘Technology’ and ‘Car’s’.
>You’ll have to visit his dreams to see these things in person!
>The two of you continue to converse for awhile.
>There are a couple of times you slip up and talk in the olden language but he just smiles and continues on.
>He doesn’t seem to care that you’re royalty like most stallions.
>He hasn’t even asked for bits or anything.
>You wonder if sister would want him in a herd. You can’t remember the last time you had one of those. Anymore stallions only care about bits and what you can give, but him he just wants your company. You’ll keep a eye on him though, you don’t know if it’s just a trick.

Okay so done with this update. There was a blunt hint on what would of happened with one of the options.here is my pastebin http://pastebin.com/u/Herdanon .As always thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated… grammar Anon senpei were are you?

>>28532560
The Cheese is coming. Also war. War waged with cheese based weaponry.

>>28532587
What?

>>28532621
See
>>28522759

>>28532654
Because Durnk. And because it's funny.

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>>28532667
Sorry did wrong pic.

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>>28531748
>”So this is our ancient tradition of mares trying to attract colts.”
>Before you was… well to be frank it was a ridiculously sized inflatable pool.
”I don’t get it.” You scratched your head, hoping the act would somehow instill the understanding to make sense of the scene before you.
>”It’s very simple really, since princesses are part Pegasi, they will enter the pool with the others and perform demonstrations of superiority in an effort to attract a mate.”
>Sure enough there were many Pegasi already in the pool, some just floating around and chatting with their friends.
>And right in the center were Luna and Celestia, both looking nervous but otherwise simply floating in the water.
>You could even see that they had their legs tucked in.
>This was just odd.
“I still don’t really get it, but continue.”
>”As I was saying, when the time comes stallions will start coming here and the mares in the pool will attempt to draw their attention and favor.”
“And they do this how?”
>Twilight looked a bit sheepish at the question.
>Was it really that bad?
>”Well long ago they used to fight for dominance, but now it’s mostly about appearing bigger and having better plumage.”
“Wait a tick, they fought?”
>”Those were dark times in our history. Sometimes mares would have o go to the hospital for being dunked under water.”
>That doesn’t sound too bad.
>”Mom used to tell me stories of how some even got water in their nostrils and they cried because of how bad it felt.”
>”Ladies and Gentlecolts. May I have your attention please.” A mare was began speaking with an air of authority.
>Every head turned to her, ready to listen.

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>>28532780
>”We will now begin the annual Pegasus Courtship Festival. You have all been read the rules and I highly suggest you follow them. Good luck to all and may fortune favor you today.”
>Your head snapped back towards the giant pool. Ready to bear witness.
>Words could not describe the scene that began playing out in front of you.
>Several mares began to splash each other using their wings.
>Some got scared and took off into the air, at which promptly a whistle was blown by another pony in a referee shirt with a call of “You’re out!”.
>But it was the royal sisters that concerned you the most.
>They circled… errr floated around each other, hissing and yelling “Honk!!!” at the top of their lungs.
>”This is amazing!”
>Twilight viciously scribbled notes down, her gaze going back and forth between the carnage and her notepad.
“What is?”
>”The princesses, they’re going all out. And this early too.”
“You don’t say.”
>If going all out meant Celestia sticking out her tongue at Luna and her responding with some choice comments about the size of Celestia’s rump, you may have to re-evaluate a few things here.
“Twilight I thought you said that they were supposed to show off for stallions?”
>”They do, but this is a necessary step to weed out any who are just too ill prepared for the whole competition.”
>Okay she is making this shit up as she goes along.
>That’s right, you’re calling bullshit on the little horse.
“Well I’m going to see this for myself then.”
>Despite Twilights pleading for you to get back, you marched forward, towards the pool.
>You barely got with twenty feet before you realized something was terribly wrong.
>Everything went quiet, the type of quiet you see in the movies where you know someone’s about to get fucked.
>And not in a good way.

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>>28532793
>It was then that you noticed that all the movement had stopped within the pool.
>Every mares attention was solely on you.
>Yeah this wasn’t going to end well, you could already tell.
“Ahhh yeah, sorry thought I saw a penny on the ground. I’m just going to head back up to where it’s safe.”
>Silentretreat.exe
>Command Failed
>”Contestant we have our first stallion, please line up and wait for you turn.”
“No nononono, I’m not a part of this.”
>Before you could react, you were placed front and center in a chair which was way too small for your size.
>The pleading look which you sent Twilight only garnered a mute response of “This is the fate you chose asshat.”
>E tu Twilight? E tu?
>”The first contestant will be none other than the Princess of the Night, Luna.” The announcer wasn’t wasting any time with her shtick.
>”It pleases us to see you again Anonymous. We thank you for giving us the opportunity to court you in the proper way.”
“Don’t mention it.”
>You were almost knocked backwards by the gust of wind that got sent your way when Luna unfurled her wings and flapped them suddenly.
>Holy shit that almost gave you a heart attack.
>”HOOOOONK!!! Honk Honk Honk!!”
>They can’t be serious with this.
>”Thank you princess Luna for that fine display.”
>These niggers are serious with this.
>”Next up we have Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts and leading champion of the Cloudsdale five hundred.”

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>>28532799
>An orange and yellow Pegasi, one you distinctly recall from the air shows that Rainbow dragged you too floated forward.
>”Why hi there, you’re an odd one. But don’t worry if you pick me, I’ll show you just how fast I can really go.”
>Was that supposed to be a pickup line? It sounded like a pickup line.
>A bad one.
>Much like Luna before her, Spitfire spread out her wings, minus the gust of air.
>The big difference was she chirped.
>Like a bird.
>But with words. Which birds most definitely did not do, except those big fuckers with the claws.
>Okay this shit was going from plain ridiculous to downright autism inducing.
>Twilight get your purple ass over here and get me out of this shit!
>Looking back for your little chaperone, you only saw a vacant space which she formerly occupied.
>Where the fuck did purple nurple scamper off to? You needed her fuzzy ass to bail you out here.
>”Next up we have”
>The whole thing continued like that for several more mares.
>Each feeding you a cheesy pickup line and some odd display conjoined with a bird sound.
>Some tried honking, quacking, chirping.
>One mare tried to preen herself, which got her tackled and immediately disqualified for indecent behavior.
>This shit was more confusing that arithmetic.
>Please just let this be over.
>”And our last contestant, Princess Celestia herself.”
>God, why have you forsaken me?
>”Why hello Anonymous, it’s a pleasure seeing you again. I was quite surprised when I saw that you were the first to take part in this.”
“Yeah.”
>Celestia smiled that all knowing smile of hers again.
>Twilight I swear if you don’t get your pony ass here soon you’ll… you’ll fuck with her organization schedule.

>>28532780
>>28532793
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ2amfd9mIM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwESI75uk9s

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>>28532817
>>One mare tried to preen herself, which got her tackled and immediately disqualified for indecent behavior.
kek

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>>28532817
>”Well I won’t keep you waiting any longer then.”
>With that you saw the Princess which controlled the sun raise her head high and unfurl her wings.
>Holy shit were did she have a massive wingspan.
>And why the fuck was that the first thought that ran into your head?
>This place was seriously starting to mess with your head.
>Then taking you really by surprise was the single loudest “HONK!” from her mouth.
>You had to cover your ears from that one, holy shit.
>Giving you one last smile Celestia floated back over to her place beside her sister.
>”Thank you very much Princess for that fine display. Now I have just been informed of a late entry into this year’s competition.”
>Seriously fuck your life.
>”Allow me to introduce the Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle.”
>I’m going to burn all your books Twilight and then let Spike have ice cream for breakfast.
---
So I made some horsewords for you all. I hope you enjoyed it.

swans are such magical creatures
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4SzHoRhbaE

Are a pony's lips fuzzy, or hairless and soft?

>>28533180
hairless and soft.

>>28527678
>You don’t have a job!
>Fuck!
>Let’s not worry Waffles yet, let’s try to find a job before we start worrying.
>You need a job fast, rent is coming up soon and Waffles is bound to be hungry soon.
>Well, off to find the classifieds!

>The bell on the inside handle of the door begins to sing as it hits the wood of the door you are opening.
>You pull your full figure inside, just to be put under the stern gaze of a stallion working behind the register.
>You haven’t known the general store to be the friendliest place on this planet.
>Choosing to ignore him, you decide to sweep the room, looking for the daily paper.
>After making, nearly, a full circle, your eyes come across a stand with numerous papers neatly stacked upon it.
>You move towards it and reach your hand in for a paper.
>”Ponyville Press, your only source of news in Ponyville. Excluding your friends and neighbors, this is a small town, you know?”
>You grab the grainy stack of sheets and move it to the counter the stallion eyeing you is shielded by.
>With a “Flap!” of paper hitting wood, the stallion finally speaks to you.
>”That all, honey?”
“Yes, sir.”
>”One bit, please.”

>>28533208
>You toss a bit onto the counter.
>The stallions hoof descends upon it, swallowing it, before it falls into a container under the counter.
>You briefly thank the stallion and continue on your way.


>You sit on a bench outside the general store you had just visited.
>You quickly flip to the classifieds.
>”Secretary needed!”
“No”
>”Foalsitter needed!”
“No”
>”Biohazard cleanup crew member needed.”
“Sounds fun.”
>“Pony who is not afraid of dying and, preferably, has no friends or family, needed.”
>“15 Hooffington St., Ponyville”
>You stand and begin your quest to find a job.

>>28533214
>”Come back in a week and we will have your hazard suit made, okay!”
>The stallion behind the desk beams with excitement from behind the desk.
>He slips a stack of papers you way and motions for you to leave.
“Thanks, see you in a week.”
>You open the door to the outside world and begin to walk with a skip in your step.
>You got a job, and first try too.
>You would’ve never expected for them to give you a chance on account of your gender, but they were very short on hooves.
>Anyway, that doesn’t matter now.
>Now you had a job.
>You just had to tell Waffles that you are taking a week’s vacation to help her settle in.
>But before you did that, you were going to head to the market stall to get some things for the two of you.

>>28533221
>A bushel of fruit and bread found itself snuggled into your chest after a long day at the market, you just had one more stop on the list.
>The shop was decorated with a checkerboard pattern, inside and out. You open the glass door ouside the shop and take a moment to truly admire the shop in itself.
>It was a small area that went on like a hallway without doors.
>Splitting the hallway, were shelves filled with board games of all kinds.
>However tempting, you only had two bits left.
>You just walk to the counter that rests by the door and ring the bell.
>After a moment, a mare appears from the backroom.
>”Oh, hello sweet cheeks. What brings a pretty thing like you into my, humble, store?”
“I need a deck of cards.”
>”That it, you sure you don’t want anything more?”
>She raises her eyebrows at the last question.
“I am sure, mam.”
>”All right, if you insist. That’ll be two bits.”
>You pull the last two bits from your pocket and place it on the counter.
>The salesmare sweeps them off the counter and replaces them with a deck of cards.
>”You come again now, ya’ hear?”
“Will do.”
>With that last remark, you are out the door with your groceries and are well on you way to your abode.

>>28533230
>You walk is met with pleasant scenery along with pleasant weather, that almost make you feel at ease, being broke for three weeks and having to support yourself and another.
>Rent was also due this upcoming week.
>You have no idea what you are going to do, but for now, you just want to sit down and relax with a nice game of cards.
>You enter the chilling hallways of your apartment.
>After scaling a flight of stairs and walking down a hallway, you make it to your room to find Waffles on you bed.

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>>28533238
>She turns to regard you, completely wrapped in covers.
>”Hello, Anon!”
>”You’re home early, what gives?”
“I took the week off to help you settle in.”
>”Wow, that’s nice! You really didn’t have to.”
“Oh but I wanted to.”
>You place your basket of food on the floor and inform Waffles that you had a surprise for her.
>”Well, don’t keep me waiting. What is it?”
>You reach into your pocket and retrieve a package containing 52 playing cards.
>You display it to Waffle who lights up upon seeing it.
>”Wow, Anon! Finally, something to do! It’s been boring just sitting here looking out the window.
“Believe me, I know.”

>>28532859
I kind of want to read about the aftermath. Who will Anon choose? Will he follow through with his threat or just settle for a more passive-aggressive upper decking of Twi's castle?

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Bump

>>28533468
Why does the skeleton cat have ears?

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>>28532859
Brilliant.

>>28533242
Nice work please continue

>>28533603
Thanks man, but I'm tired as of now. I'll post more tomorrow.

I'm going to start a new story before my current one ends, so let's go


Be anon.
>Sitting in your room doing fuck all.
>Celestia walks in.
>”Good afternoon anon. Do you mind taking a stroll with me?”
>Not having anything better to do.
“Sure”

>Walking through garden with Celestia.
>She turns her head towards towards you.
>”So anon I’ve been wanting to ask you a question regarding your world”
>Sounded okay.
>You always loved to brag about how awesome humanity was.
“Of course. I’d love to answer”
>”You have told me much about your culture and technological marvels. In some ways I almost envy you. However there’s one part of you world we haven’t discussed a lot”
“What is that then?”
>”Well... It’s a little bit hard to ask but...”
>She stopped talking
>She’s trying to form words
>You weren’t really looking forward to this anymore.
>”Anon... what do you know about war?”
>...
>Fuck

>>28533696
Why are you using my name to post a green?

>>28533696
>>28533712
Why are both of you using my name?

>>28533712

>Okay anon what ever you do, don’t mention the jews.
“Well... It’s a... kinda touchy subject... for me”
>Celestia smiles.
>”I understand. We don’t have to talk about it if war makes you uncomfortable”
“Oh it has nothing to do with that it’s just”
>You think about how to phrase this without sounding like a dick.
“You ponies are so peaceful and I’m afraid I would horrify you if mentioned it”
>Celestia let’s out a small chuckle
>”I understand why you would feel that way. But looks can be very deceiving. This land has had a long history and it has been far from peaceful” Celestia’s smile had faded.
>“There has been much bloodshed. We have been terrorised by many wars. From the ascension of the first tribes, up to this day... You couldn’t believe how many ponies have lost their lives in battle.
>Celestia’s voice has turned down right somber.
>Despite how horrifying this is, it’s still unnerving. Makes explaining things a lot easier.
>”To be honest I felt the same way as you. The way you’ve been telling tales of your world and it’s marvels I thought you could never have even considered war to exist”
>Maybe I was bragging a bit to much.
“Yeah I was holding back on some of the more shady parts. But we have had some conflicts”
>That was a blatant understatement.
>”I understand”
>There was silence.
>None of us knew how to go on.
>Might as well break the ice.
“...”
>Fuck it. Let’s carpet bomb the entire lake.
“So what was your worst war?”

>>28533696
>>28533712
>>28533727
>>28533732
Guys, stop it, come on.

>>28533749
Yeah Quit it.

Wait, forgot to remove my name.

>”Our worst war?”
>You could see she was taken back by the question
>”Well... it’s”
>She’s looking away from you now
“It’s okay. Just take your time”
>Celestia smiled at you.
>She took a deep breath
>You could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to form words.
>”It was seven hundred years ago. After Luna’s banishment I had lost myself. Hundreds of years and I hadn’t accomplished anything. Equestria was descending into chaos and I could do nothing about it.
>”One day the gryphon empire saw my weakness. They decided to attack. But that triggered something in me. To see my subjects in danger again. All that anger, pilling up for three hundred years”
>”I managed to put myself together. Could lead again. I raised a deteriorating army to it’s highest. I fought back repelling the empire until no gryphon was standing in Equestria”
>”But that wasn’t enough. My fury was unmatchable at the time. I launched a counter invasion. I besieged the entire gryphon empire. I took more land then anyone else had ever achieved”
>”I took one third of the gryphon empire. The rest of them were devastated and once my invasion stopped they had no choice but to fight each other for what was left.
>”The ponies saw me as a hero. Symbol for all of Equestria. But I deserved none of that. I was a monster. Slaughterer. I could never forgive myself for that day”
>You could here shivering when she spoke. Her voice cracked several times. You had never seen princess Celestia in this state before.
“W-W-Wha-... What was the death t-toll?”
>She starred at you with red eyes.
>”T-Two hundred and t-thirty”
>She shivered.
>”Two hundred and thirty lives anon”
>Two hundred and thirty.
>Two hundred and thirty.
>230.
>Christ it was hard not to laugh.

>>28533727
There can be only one! I challenge you all to a vodka drinking contest. Or rum, I think I might still have some rum.

No, I'M the head vampire!

We're ALL the head vampires!

>>28533760
Now I don't don't care if you want to use my name to shitpost, but please don't post green under someone else's name. It's not right.

>You tried to make your mouth shiver to suppress your smile.
“That... Is... That’s horrifying... Yeah that’s... I can’t... even”
>Celestia is still starring at you.
>”Are you o-okay?”
“Yeah I’m fine it’s just... very... overwhelming”
>You try not to look at her.
>You try to hide your chuckle by whimpering slightly.
>”Anon... w-why are you laughing?”
>Ifuckedup.jpg
“I-I-I wasn’t laughing. What makes you think I was laughing Celestia?”
>Her face just turned into scowl.
>”Be honest what is so funny”
“Well... It just seems funny that you’re broken by two hundred and thirty lives”
>Her anger just multiplied.
>”Do you even know how many that is? Can you even fathom the amount of lives? The friends and families who will never see their loved ones? CAN YOU?!?”
>She shivering again and so are you.
“Well no offense, but to me that sounds like awfully few”
>Her anger tripled now.
“Maybe it’s just because our wars just had a bit more casualties than yours”
>The wrath of the sun is starring down on you.
>You cower.
>You close your eyes, waiting to be banished and then get locked away in the place you got banished to.
>You wait.
>And wait.
>Nothing is happening.
>”That’s good to know”
>You open your eyes.
“what?”

>>28533760
>>28533732
>>28533696
Ah, the ol' War in Equestria prompt. This somehow going to have a RGRE theme to it?

>>28533789
No, shut up. Shut up, though.

File: FB_IMG_1475201181480.jpg (44KB, 595x434px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 595x434px

>>28533789
Interested to see what happens when she realizes it was men fighting and not women,

>>28533780
Are you trying to say that this is not my story?

>>28533788
What's so funny, Anon?
Have you ever killed 230 people?

Well?
Speak into the microphone, by the way.

>Celestia is looking down at you with a warm smile. No sign she was ever angry.
>You’re lying on the ground, cowering together like a fucking baby.
>You quickly stand up, dusting your self off and putting on a serious face, as to not lose all you dignity.
“I’m sorry your highness, I didn’t catch that last part”
>Your trying to hide the embarrassment.
>You’re not doing very well.
>Celestia chuckles.
>”Nothing. I’m just happy you reacted like you did”
>You raise an eyebrow to let her see you really confused.
>”I wasn’t sure how much you knew of war and I didn’t want to shock you. Too see you so underwhelmed by a few hundred deaths, let’s me know that you’re world has experienced sever bloodshed like mine”
>...
>...
“Fuck you Celestia”
>She laughs.
>”Aaaw, that’s not how you speak to a princess”
“Seriously go fuck yourself”
>”I love you to anon”
>You both start laughing.
>After you stopped you let out a relived sigh.
“Phew. I got nervous there for a second. If that was true I would’ve had a lot of explaining to do”
>You look at her again.
“But back to being serious. That was just a bunch of bull crap?”
>Her smile fades away again.
>She sighs.
>”Actually no. Everything I just told you was true. I only left out a very important details”
>She pauses again to find her words.
>”It was two hundred and thirty ponies who died”
>”Two hundred and thirty thousand”
>You both pause to think
>”And that’s only accounting for the ponies ”
>A tear starts to form in her eye.
>”The gryphons lost five hundred thousand”
>She closed her eyes, looking down in shame.
>...
>...
>You walk over to her
>You start to pet her flowing mane
“It’s okay Celestia”
>She’s crying.
>You hug her.
>She hugs you back.
>She’s sobbing on your shoulder.
“You did what you thought was right. It’s okay. It’s all over”

>>28533809
How's this sound if you are the real HeliAnon and I'm not, post it to the pastebin. It should be simple enough.

>>28533813
Yeah, what's Anon laughing about? That's still 230 people dead that Anon's chortling over.
>"You killed more people than I have ever personally known? PPFFFAHAHAHA oh god that's a real knee-slapper!"

>>28533819
This person writes like shit compared to HeliAnon. This isn't the real HeliAnon. Note: if this is the real HeliAnon, then get your shit together.

>>28533847
No not the real me, just someone who's trying to get their rocks off with my name. I honestlly didn't think someone would choose a shitty writer to try to impersonate.

>>28533819
You know, I've read this story before.
It wasn't RGRE then either.

>You were sitting on a bench for at least ten minutes now.
>Celestia was lying with her head on your lap.
>You were slowly petting her, stroking her large mane.
>Over time she had quiet down. Now she was just slowly breathing.
>Finally she sits back up.
>She wipes a tear of her cheek with her magic before giving you a warm smile.
>”Thank you anon”
“Hey no probs your highness. What do you think friends are for?”
>She chuckles


The End


I will upload it to the paste bin tomorrow see you imposters later.


>Mic drop

>>28533864
>I honestlly didn't think someone would choose a shitty writer to try to impersonate.
SO hey should I start over or what

>>28533864
Well at least you write on topic then. Even if it's shitty, that's something.

>>28533864
>>28533870
What is going on in this thread?

>>28533886
I don't know if I should feel happy or sad about that.

>Need more Bon Bon x Anon where Bonnie isn't LaP-Bonnie
Nothing wrong with LaP-Bonnie, but I want a mare whose temperament (and also the smell of her mane) is just as sweet as her name.

>>28533904
Well, I like your stories. Even if some people like you think they're shit I like them Heli.

>>28533904
This is why you trip.

File: 1461435666588.gif (149KB, 800x601px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 800x601px

>>28532859
God that's a cute pic.

>Tfw no innocent virgin Twilight to corrupt.

>>28533963
>You and Twilight are dating
>You're about to get intimate, but Twilight keeps doing things to put it off
>Finding her notes; finding a book on the subject; getting a glass of water; etc
>You confront her
>Embarrassed, Twilight angrily shouting that she's a virgin
>She expects you to laugh or walk out but is surprised when you don't
>sex, cuddles, etc ensue

Well after that brand of autism...Time for an update!~

http://pastebin.com/TCcd1EUz

>Walking through the forests your try to control your wings, stubborn things won't go down!
>Along the way Gilda walks beside you whispering under her breath, ”You dork, what the hell?”
>Why is she upset?
>Wait, oh no she doesn't think?
>You frown avoiding her soul piercing gaze as you drag your hooves forward.
“I-I just wanted to help.”
>”How does curing Anon’s little problem help /us/ get laid?” Gilda frowns at you gesturing between the two of you with her wing.
>You scrunch your nose up at the griffon at how blatant she is.
>Isn't she even considering Anon's feelings at least?
>You'll tell her what for!
“You know that he doesn’t like his body, a-and it’s his choice to make if he likes it or not. E-even if he makes for an amazing alpha predator that would take us over and over again until we're his broodmothers…”
>The pleasant daydream that came to mind slowly fades away to reveal Gilda staring at you with a inscrutable look
>”...You got problems girl.”
>Why does she have to get up in your face about this?!
>You know she's into this idea just as much as you!
>E-even when she was grinding against you to get at…
>Oh no she's staring at you again, quick react!
“Like you're any better, you want that as badly as I do!”
>Gilda splutters at your accusation her wings jerking upright as her tail puffs out.
>”At least I’m not cowering like some beta cuck who's waiting for the dick, I’m chasing after it!”
“Oh and that worked so well last time too.”
>”Hey buck you I was doing alright!” Gilda snarls at you.
>Shrugging off the snarl you shake your head trying to clear it.
>Why is it so hard to think?
“Either way; it’s Anon’s choice, you’re not trying to force him to make his own decision are you?”
>You come to a stop and hold your ground a frown crossing your face as you hold Gilda own stare.

>>28534048
>”Hey girls?” Anon calls out,but you ignore him for now wanting to hear Gilda's answer.
>Fidgeting from your stare Gilda turns her head and starts to walk off, ”No! Of course not! I just think it’s dumb that he’s not looking at all the advantages that comes with it!”
>Following after her you interject with a counter!
“So you’d be fine turning into a pony then?”
>Gilda stumbles over a log that she had been ready to cross before Whirling her head around to look at you.
>”Where the Tartarus did that come from?”
“It’s a hypothetical, just answer it.”
>”Well no, you ponies are too soft, no beak, no claws if it wasn’t for magic your sorry lot would be pretty dead in the water.”
>You smile then in bliss, finally she’s making the connections!
>Maybe you and Gilda can get along!
“Well now you understand Anon.”

>>28534048
>beta cuck
These are words Equestria knows

>>28534052
>”Girls, I think we passed that creak for the third time now.” You hear Anon again, you know it's rude to ignore the poor fellow, but you really need Gilda to understand your point.
>”What?! Oh come on that’s nothing alike, if anything Anon’s getting an upgrade over what he has now, you described me down grading at that point!” Gilda replies then Hopping down from the log while you simply fly over it.
>Gilda please.
>You can't be this ignorant.
“Well, being soft and kind isn’t always a bad trade off, you did see how well Anon reacted to my chest fluff right?”
>”Pfft big deal, he liked my ass better than your little downy tuft, and mine’s made from real feathers not thick coarse fur like yours is.”
>Oh it's on now little chickadee!

>”Alright I know we passed that hole again, hey are you two even listening?”
>You hear Anon mention something, but you can't back down here!
>Time to be alpha!
“M-maybe if you actually had any tuft you wouldn’t have had to use your b-butt?”
>Gilda frowns at you and her eyes narrow until you can only see a hint of her pupils
>”That’s low Shy, that’s really low.”
“A-alls fair in love and w-war.”
>”Hey!” Suddenly you’re grabbed by the scruff of your neck and hauled up into the air!
>You flap your wings trying to break free from what was no doubt a predator!
>”What the!?” Oh no they got Gilda too!
>It's only when you are turned around to see what has you do you stop your squirming
>Hooves hanging limply below you, you can feel you muzzle scrunch at Anon
>Anon's face is unamused judging by his scowl and the crease in his forehead, though why that face reminds you of your dad you haven't a clue…
>Still you can't just let him emaresculate you like this!
>You give another fruitless wiggle before crying out
“Anon! Let us go!”

>>28534059
I had an idea of this being a thing, only instead of the guy getting cucked its the mare since the stallion is being tricked/lured away to breed with them instead.

>>28534070
>”I would if you two would stop arguing and actually listened to me!”
>”Well you got it, what!?”
>Seeing Anon tighten his wiggles on Gilda he gives her a slight shake to jerk her attention
>You bite your lips at seeing the display of dominance, how can he be so strong to carry you both around like that ?
“I-if you wanna shake us for being bad, youcandothatIdon’tmind.”
>Anon simply raises an eyebrow at your comment before shaking his head, and addresses the both of you.
>”We’ve been walking in circles while you two have been arguing back and forth!”
>”Oh come on, I know exactly where we are!”
>And your a secret heir to a million bit fortune!
“You’ve never been in this forest before.”
>”You’ve seen one forest you’ve seen them all.”
>You don’t know why, but for some reason that really, that really peeves you off!
“So you know how to avoid a cockatrice then?” Your wings fluff up as you challenge Gilda’s ‘expertise’
>”Why avoid it when I can kick it’s butt?” Gilda answers quick as a whip show casing her talons at you, “After all I could show you if you want a closer look.”
>Gilda earns herself another shake from Anon making the bird wobbly as her eyes circle around from the shaking.
>”Hey! No! Stop with the arguing, we’ve been going in circles, look down!”
>Glancing below you see a rather large collection of tracks all following the same di-
>”Didn’t know we found a path in the woods.”
>The_pain_is_real.tapestry
“Gilda, that’s not a path, those are our tracks.”
>There is a long silence from the catbird as you see a faint pink sheen come to her feathers and Gilda’s tail curls around her leg protectively.
>”...I knew that.”