RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

I want to pet Seashell.

Waiting for Helianon to return with Twi's retribution

>>28117220
I want to pet ALL the ponies. I could survive in an Equestria without the lewds if it meant I could spend all day stroking manes and rubbing bellies. It could be like prostitution, only they pay me money for a few hours of totally platonic physical affection.

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>>28117193
The lack of representation for our military in the media is shameful.
The public would rather pretend that Equestria is kept safe by the hunks of the palace guard and by Friendship (it isn't), everything to ignore the guardsmares with their bloodied hooves.

Their duty isn't glamorous, gets them no social clout, and the dresses aren't fancy, but it's a dangerous job that needs to be done, for everypony, for Equestria.

But you know what? They don't judge you by your stigma. And there's no charge for the manecut.

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One day I'll change my camera or fix my tablet and try to redraw some of these but not before drawing a lewd post-ending of the last Bombshell short. "We are doing it on the backyard" one. Until then have some derp

>>28117184
When?

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>>28117220
>tfw your cover id is more popular with stallione than you are

>Herdshit general

>>28117294
Dawww.

>>28117294
>that head
ayy lmao

>>28117294
I don't think we've ever had a full length green centred around the idea of "Anon is super good with foals and ponies react to this" yet.

C'mon, strangers on the internet! Do things for me!

>>28117327
It's not the same on every pic btw (because new anons every time). Went too much?

I finished reading Axe Anon and it was great.
Why LaP abandoned it ?

>>28117452
Not enough powerlifting in it.

>tfw you will never be aggressively wanted by mares
>tfw you will never be claimed as a husband by roving groups of colt-lacking herds

>>28117520
>>tfw you will never be aggressively wanted by mares
Which how much I value my alone time this would probably drive me up the fucking wall.

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>>28117520
Feels terrible m8.

>>28117579
>tfw your herd will never cuddle up to you and make happy cooing noises
>tfw the one year your head will never sleepily assure you that you will make a wonderful husband

>>28117294
>When?
Who where? What when?

Dropping the bombshell? Anytime https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnayvmyploE

>>28117395
Its probably cause stallions are expected to be good with foals. No good dads like Shining are the exception. Anon being good with them would have to contrast with him being a violent angry slut the rest of the time so that the ponies are surprised.

>>28117452
The guard pony series where Anon knocks up Celestia and murderplomacies the Changelings into peace is actually how it ends. L&P just skipped all the boring character development between innawoods anon to horsefucker mcsmashwall.

>You are Anon
>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
>"Anonymous?"
>And you have the flu.
"The door's open!" you rasp, after you take a sip of water that does nothing to quench your thirst
>Quiet clopping hooves grow louder as a familiar purple pony makes her way through your house.
>Your bedroom door, mostly closed, is nudged open by a purple pony muzzle.
>Twilight sticks her head in, concern plain on her face.
"Hey, Twi."
>"How are you feeling, Anon?"
>You groan and huddle under your covers.
>You were boiling a minute ago, but now it feels like you'll never be warm again.
>Twilight sighs and hops up onto your bed.
>"That bad, huh?"
>You moan a "yes" moan.
>"Anon, you're well aware that our magical cures won't work on you, so you're going to have to wait this flu out."
>You moan a disappointed, yet resigned moan.
>"Buuut~"
>Twilight smiles and starts spinning around in a slow circle, kneading the bedcovers beneath her hooves.
>"Every colt needs a teddy bear, Anon..."
>She lays down and leans against your chest.
>She snuggles up against you and tucks her head underneath your chin.
>"....and I'll be yours for today."
>You moan a happy moan and wrap an arm around Twilight.

>>28117477
He could write Nord Anon lifting both Celestia and Luna

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>>28117741
Cuute.

>>28117754
Maybe about a bullshit law that affects Anon in a miner but irritating way. Nothing major like keeping him from buying property; maybe "you need a mare with you when you go outside after sundown", and Anon never leaves the house after 6pm anyway.

>>28117741
Comfy, but could use more pone penetration

>>28117741
HHHNNNGGG! My heart......go on without me.

>>28117769
thank

>>28117775
>"Yeah, Anon, lick my horn more. I don't care if I get the flu, it's all worth it for that sweet tongue of yours.
>You are Anon, and that book on mundane cures that Rarity gave you is full of bullshit lies.

>>28117771
>affects Anon in a miner but irritating way

>"Anon, what have we told you about digging up ore without a mare being present?"

>>28117856
>"Anon, if we've told you once we've told you a thousand times! No building a nuclear fusion reactor without at least 3 mares supervising you!"

Alright, for a little while I'm gonna dumping a whole bunch of different stuff. The first is gonna be "pone wants all the mans and takes them from the womans"

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So?

Are you going to show them your dick, or not?

>>28117894
Rachel always liked to think she was level-headed girl. Sure, she had her moments just like anyone else, but all-in-all she wasn’t one that jumped to conclusions or overreacted at the drop of a dime. In most cases.

“…She’s a horse.”

Before her, sitting on the futon that they had bought together the day that they moved into their apartment, was her boyfriend Anon. It was his day off; she could tell because he was wearing what he usually wore on his days off: a pair of far too big pajama bottoms and his dirty and ripped up Buzz Lightyear t-shirt that he had gotten half off at a flea market when he was twelve. She never particularly liked that shirt of his. It was too dirty, too small, it had so many holes in it that she was surprised that it didn’t fall apart in the wash.

Time and again she had tried throwing the ratty thing away, and tried for years and years, but Anon would never let her. Why she had no idea. It wasn’t like a dead relative had given him the thing, he didn’t win it in a contest, and it wasn’t like he couldn’t have gotten a dozen more just like it at some specialty store. But no; no matter how much she begged and pleaded for him to get rid of the thing, so matter how many times she offered to just get him another one that fit him better and wasn’t so dirty, he’d refuse.

Seeing it always drove her crazy, and every time that she looked at it her eye would always twitch.

But her main focus at the moment wasn’t her boyfriend, who was leaning against their futon with his legs crossed and his hands on his thighs, it was the… [i]person[/i] sitting next to him.

“Pony actually,” said figure chirped, leaning over and wrapping an enormous wing around Anon’s shoulders.

>>28117894
My body is ready LaP. Lay it on us.

Rachel stared at the creature sitting on her futon. All things considered, it was an oddly pretty creature. She liked how pretty its ivory white, almost ivory-colored looked, and those wings on its back looked especially soft and fluffy. That, along with her long, spiraled horn and big, pretty amethyst eyes made the inner girl in her squeal. It was a unicorn; a unicorn with wings and soft fur and a pudgy belly was sitting on her futon with its wing around her boyfriend.

She let her gaze linger on the [i]pony[/i] for a few moments more. She looked at the crown and necklace around the pony’s chest, she looked at its slender body, its long neck, its oddly thick and shapely rump with what looked like a sun on each hip. She looked at this wondrous, fantastical, impossible creature that had just up and appeared in her home and that was giving her a friendly smile. And her eye twitched.

Taking a few deep, deep breathes to calm herself, she looked over at Anon.

His slightly too long hair teased the top of his eyebrows as he stared up at her. There was a sadness in those green eyes of his she noticed, but right along with it she could see determination and resolution. Rachel rarely saw such a look in his eyes, but whenever she did she knew she was in for a headache. A big one.

She had known her boyfriend for many, many years. Anon was a pretty alright guy all things considered. Not great but acceptable. He had a job at the local post office and he made alright money. He was also pretty good looking; not a ten out ten, but a girl could take someone like him home to meet her parents without feeling embarrassed. Sure, he had some odd… quirks, but what man didn’t?

But this though. THIS was something else.

“Rachel, I know that you might be hurt right now but you have to understand,” he began, leaning forward and placing his hands in his lap. “The fates brought she and I together, you cann—”

>>28117915
... You're not LaP. Keep that blacktext prose on fimfiction.

>>28117948

“She’s a horse!” Rachel blurted out, outrage mixing in with her confusion. “You’re dumping me for a [i]horse[/i]!”

“Pony,” Anon corrected matter-of-factly. “But yes, I’m dumping you for a pony.”

He drummed his fingers against his legs in the way that he always did when he was nervous.

"...You can keep everything in the kitchen, and the bed if you want."

He was drumming Yankee Doodle Dandy like he always did.

"And I know you like the TV too so you can have that if you want, but I kinda want the futon if you don't mind. And I'd REALLY appreciate it if I could have the fridge too?..."

The question hung in the air for a few moments as Rachel stared at him. She waited for him to hop off the futon and start laughing. He’d say that he was kidding. He’d show her that the pony regally sitting on the futon was some sort of puppet. She’d yell at him, he’d start laughing like the dummy he was, and, for some reason or another, she’d start laughing too.

But the laughter never came and, though she tried her hardest to look for them, she couldn’t find any strings above or around the pony. As far as she could tell the rise and fall of the pony’s chest, the blinking of its eyes, the small movements in its wings were real. She actually had a talking, horned, winged pony, who was the size of a Great Dane, sitting on her futon. And said pony had, somehow, taken her boyfriend from her.

Rachel opened her mouth. She then closed it as both Anon and the pony looked at her expectantly. “That’s a horse, Anon,” she finally, flatly said. “You know that that’s a horse right?”

“I’m very aware that she’s a pony, yes,” Anon said with a confident nod.

Rachel nodded in turn. There was still no laughter, no joke. As far as she could tell this… whatever it was, was really happening.

>>28117395
Pfff, like any of my pics in that thread have spawned any even small green in the past, Ha-ha... ha...ha. *sniff*

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>>28117958

>>28117981

During this lull of conversation, the pony unfurled its other wing and wrapped it around Anon’s front. Though the pony looked as calm as it did since the moment that Rachel had entered the room she saw a glint in its eyes as it pulled her boyfriend toward itself.

“I'm afraid what he says is true, my dear,” the pony said. “He and I are madly in love.”

Rachel’s eye twitched again as the pony wrapped its hooves around Anon, pulling her back against its chest, before enveloping him completely in its wings.

In any other situation such a sight would have given her a heart attack. But now? Now she wanted to grab a broom and chase this horse out of their apartment to wherever it had come from.

“...Madly in love?”

The pony nodded, resting its head on her boyfriend’s shoulder. “Yes. As in love as two beings can be.”

“But you’re a horse!” Rachel snapped.

The pony’s wings tightened around Anon as she nuzzled his neck. “Though I understand your frustration there really is no need for name calling my dear,” she said, eyes narrowing slightly. “I hope that you aren’t this rude to other ponies that you meet.”

“She kinda is,” Anon said, leaning against his new mate. "But not to PONIES per say, since I don't think she's ever met a talking pony before. It's more of a generalization of her not liking to talk to any new people really..."

Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “Anon… I swear to god…”


She took a few steps toward the new, inseparable couple, her fists clutched. Blowing a bit of her hair out of her face she opened her mouth to start yelling.

>>28117988
My not exactly canon Anon Aptitude test oneshot, the art done by you, IIRC?

>>28118018
What the heck was wrong with him? Why had he let this… [i]thing[/i] into their house? Why hadn’t he called the cops when he first saw it? Where did he get off saying that she was rude? She wasn’t [i]rude[/i]! She was [i]friendly[/i]! Just because she wasn’t a stupid postman who talked to everyone every day didn’t mean that she was some sort of people-hating banshee!

These thoughts caused her to stand to her full height. She puffed her chest out and sucked in a lungful of air through her nose. “Anonymous, get your [i]butt[/i]—”

All of the sudden, the tip of the pony’s horn glowed. Before Rachel could talk another step an invisible force lifted her into the air like she was a rag doll.

"W-What the?!--"

Rachel’s eyes widened hugely as she felt herself become completely weightless. She looked down at her feet, too shocked to yell or scream, to see that the same golden glow around the pony’s horn was around her body.

With a sniffle the pony flicked its head, sending her gently floating back a few feet. “I’d very much appreciate it if you did not come toward the two of us in such a threatening manner please,” the pony very politely, but firmly, asked as she set the dazed girl back down. “While I do not consider myself a very violent mare I will not hesitate to boop you [i] viciously[/i] to protect my stallion if you force me to.”

Anon smiled, leaning against the pony. “Aw, thanks hon~”

As the two nuzzled Rachel looked around the room, blinking owlishly. There was no one else in the room as far as she could tell. She heard no breathing or giggling. She hadn’t eaten or drank anything unusual today so she wasn’t seeing things. Anon [i]still[/i] hadn’t told her that this was a joke yet.

If one would have listened very closely, they might have heard something snap inside the young women. Something that probably shouldn't be snapped.

>>28117915
Ah, is this going to be a Fimfic story?

>>28118048
Aaa yes. Celestia.

>>28118048

“You’re stallion?... You’re STALLION?! [i]HIM[/i]?!” she snarled, pointing a finger at the man in question.

“Yes him,” the pony answered. “He’s wonderful and beautiful and as pure as the driven snow.”

“Pure as the driven?... HE’S A WEIRDO THAT COLLECTS STAMPS AND BASEBALL CARDS!”

“Hey now...” Anon muttered, sinking into the pony’s warm embrace, trying to shield himself from the unexpected verbal lashing. “There’s nothing weird about collecting stamps and baseball cards. A lot of people do it. Tons of people.”

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your hobby, dear,” the pony reassured, quickly yanking Rachel into the air once again as the angrily women stomped toward the two. “In fact I find it rather endearing. It makes you stand out, makes you different from all the other human stallions.”

“It’s not [i]endearing[/i], it’s useless and stupid!” Rachel snapped. “Anon, tell this horse or pony or whatever the hell it is to let me down [i]right now[/i]!”

“See? I told you that she was one heck of a grump,” Anon grumbled, his brow furrowing.

“I can see that,” the pony commented, eyeing Rachel with a hint distaste. “It’s honestly beyond me why another woman hasn’t come and tried to snatch you out of this harpy’s clutches…”

“HARPY?! EXCUSE YO—” Before Rachel could finish her sentence pressure was applied to the tip of her nose. As if some unknown power had taken control of her, her eyes crossed and her body went rigid.

The pony, staring at her with dangerously narrowed eyes, huffed. “Shame on you young lady. Can’t you see that you are distressing this poor stallion?” she chastised, shaking her head. “I offer you my sympathies for you loss, doubly so since I'm the one that caused it, but lashing out at Anonymous is only gone to--"

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>>28117981
>Anon dumping gf for pony
>pony is Celestia
..........

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>>28118030
Oh, yeah. Forgot that. And picrelated got some one-post ideas. Yay, two out of... even I can't tell honestly, some I posted without my name

>>28118091

A VERY unladylike snort escaped Rachel's lips. "Anon," she growled. "Tell. This. Horse. To. Put. Me. Down. [i]Now.[/i]"

Both the pony and her boyfriend looked at each other. The pony leaned forward and nuzzled Anon's brow, whispering something in his ear that made him smile. It then turned its attention back to her, eyes narrowed and a frown on it's face.

“I’m sure that your mother taught you better than this,” it proclaimed, disappointment and anger clear in it's voice, before it's horn glowed even brighter.

Once again Rachel's eyes crossed and her body ceased up. She couldn't move, no matter how hard she tried to thrash about,she could barely think, the only thing that she could really do was wait for it to be over. The sensation on her nose was held for a few more moments, though to her it felt like an eternity, before it all of the sudden disappeared. The second that it was gone Rachel’s body went limp and her nose scrunched up.

“Wha…. What did you do to me?” she mumbled, shaking her head.

“I believe I made my stance on booping very clear,” the pony responded. “Now I would suggest that you calm yourself before I am forced you boop you a [i]third[/i].”

“You better do as she says, Rach,” Anon advised. “She’ll boop you senseless if she has to. Past senselessness even.”

Once again Rachel found herself standing on her two feet as the pony gently sat her down. By now the young women was very upset and positively flustered. Here she was, having just come home from her job at the bank, to find that her boyfriend had been stolen by some talking horse that had mind powers and the ability to make her body stop working by just touching her nose. It was a lot to take in for anyone, and if she was being honest with herself she had a few questions. Serious questions.

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>>28118136
NICE

Nigga would have to be insane not to.

>>28118163
I'll write you something, please don't cry.
But Bombshell is going to be badass, I'm afraid.
How do yo manage to do shit even, I have zero power left after work + home bullshit

>>28118173

“ANO—” she stopped herself, taking a deep breath. She couldn’t start yelling again. Yelling wasn’t going to help her. She needed to be logical about this. She needed to think things through. She needed to show her boyfriend how absolutely, totally, completely idiotic he was being.

“Anon, honey, I want you to think about this,” she said as she fixed her blouse. “We’ve been together for two years. We share an apartment together. We sleep in the same bed. I know everything about you and you know everything about me.” She jammed a thumb to the pony. “How long has this [i]pony[/i] known you?”

“About two hours," Anon answered without hesitation.

“TWO HOU—” Rachel bit her lip hard. Closing her eyes, she took a few deep breaths. “Two hours?” she asked, almost able to keep the anger out of her voice.

“That is correct,” the pony said with a nod. “While I was working on a spell there was an accident. I rift was opened up and I happened to fall into it.”

“She ended up landing right on top of me,” Anon added, snuggling deeper into the pony's wings.

Rachel’s face contorted. This. [i]This[/i] was why her mom kept telling her to dump this dummy. “Ano—”

“I was smitten with him the moment that I saw him,” the pony interrupted, sighing dreamingly. “Never before in my long, long life have I witnessed such beauty, such grace, such a tasteful choice of clothing.”

“See? [i]She[/i] likes my t-shirt, Rach,” Anon said smugly.

Rachel tried to keep herself calm. She tried to remember the breathing exercises that she had heard about on TV. She tried to think of happier things. She even attempted to push through her rage with sheer willpower. But she failed. She failed very badly.

“[i]SHE’S A HORSE![/i]!” she roared, seeing red. “[i]YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT DATING A HORSE, ANON. YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT LEAVING ME FOR AN ANIMAL THAT YOU MET TWO FREAKING HOURS AGO!”

>>28118216

That seemed to give Anonymous pause. A frown came to his face and his brow scrunched up thoughtfully. He looked down at his feathery prison. He then looked at the gently smiling pony holding him against her chest. He finally looked over at Rachel herself. She could see the gears in his mind churning. He was finally starting to think things through.

Though she could still feel anger burning in her belly, Rachel couldn’t help but sigh in relief. He was going to see how [i]ridiculous[/i] he was being. He was going to get away from that creature and call the cops so that they could take it away. After all of this nonsense was over they were going to need to have a [i]long[/i] talk but they’d get through it. Everything was going to be fine. Everything was going to be—

“You know what?... I think I’ll see how this whole thing plays out,” Anon said with a nod.

Rachel smiled. “Fantastic. Now what don’t you get away from that thing and—” She stopped. “Wait… what did you just say?”

“I think I’m gonna try something new, Rach,” Anon told her, smiling. “Even though I don’t know Celestia here all that well we’ve been doing a lot of talking since she came here and she seems like a really sweet gal that I’d really like to get to know a little bit better. Maybe enough for the two of us to be together.”

The pony, now named Celestia, quietly hummed as Anon leaned back against her. She looked happy with the young man’s response, delighted even. You could see the happiness light up those big expressive eyes of hers. You could see it in the way that she wiggled on the couch as she held Anon as tight as she could against her. This alien, this pony, with her wings and her horn and her magical mane and tail, looked like she had just won a stunning victory and was about to shout it to the heavens.

>>28118174
It was supposed to be someone like Jubilee the tomato-growing pony.
She is nice and has a stable job - she grows medicinal plants and shit, works with the alchemists' guild.
Owns a two-bedroom house in Hollow Shades
It's not big but it's cozy, and it can always be extended should the herd grow

>>28118238

Rachel, on the other hand, was not feeling all that happy. In fact, one might say that she was shattered. Not because she was just dumped. She had been dumped before, by better men she might add, and she hadn’t felt this confused or angry or any of the other dozen emotions that were making her breathing shallow and her ears ring. No, she was shattered because she had been dumped for a [i]horse[/i]. [i]A horse[/i]!

Placing a shaking hand against her tight chest, she took a step forward. “Y-You… you,” she began, not able to find the right words. “You want to take e-everything they w-we’ve built together and [i]throw[/i] it all away for some b-barnyard animal?”

“I am [i]not[/i] a barnyard animal. I am a [i]princess[/i] thank you very much!” Princess Celestia said, her chest puffing out. “And while there’s no need to refer to me by my title I [i]insist[/i] that I be given at least an iota of respect!”

Rachel was about to yell once more but she was booped once again, leaving her speechless. Sputtering, she took a few hasty steps backward.

“I can’t believe that you’re doing this! What are people going to say?” she said with a stomp of her foot. “What about your parents, Anonymous? What are they gonna say when they find out that their weirdo son is going out with a talking pony?!”

Holding her new mate just a bit tighter, Celestia chuckled. “I’m afraid that your words no longer hold any sway with Anonymous here,” she proclaimed with a shake of her head. “I have taken him from you with my marely prowess and my pretty wings and my kisses!”

Rachel tried to take a step forward, only to be driven back by another magical boop. She tried once more and once again, only to be driven back in a similar way.

“You were too content, my dear. You didn’t see that another was climbing the mountain that you were standing on top of.”

>>28118276

“Urk! Will you stop—Erk! STOP POKING MY—ACK! STOP IT!”

“I have challenged you and found you wanting. Now I have the fruit of my victory! My very own cute snuggle buddy coltfriend that I need not share with another!”

Rachel looked over at Anon. Even as she was being driven back by a force that she didn’t totally understand a part of her was still waiting for the joke. Oh, if he’d start laughing now she’d dump him in a heartbeat, punch him as hard as she could, and throw his crazy butt out onto the street where he belonged for taking it this far, but a small, small part of her still thought that this was all some sort of extremely elaborate prank.

But there was no joke. This was happening. This was happening and she was a part of it.

“The two of us shall spend our days sitting in front of this large magical picture box while we cuddle and eat snacks,” Celestia continued as she drove Rachel toward the door. “It will be a wondrous and magical time that I’m positive that the two of us will greatly enjoy!”

“I SWEAR TO—URK! I’M GOING TO CALL THE COPS AND—ERK! AND THEY’RE GOING TO COME HERE AND DRAG—EEP! YOU TO THE NEAREST [I]GLUE FACTORY YOU—[/I]”

The front door to their apartment opened up behind her as Rachel staggered backward. As dazed and as cross-eyed as she had become she didn’t notice that she had stepped out into the hallway until the door was gently closed in her face. The second that the door was closed it was also locked, the sharp clicking sound cutting through the otherwise content silence in that hallway.

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>>28118298

Holding her nose, Rachel righted herself just as two big bags filled with her clothes appeared in front of the door. She stared at these bags, breathing hard, then at the door. A thousand thoughts ran through her head, some of them angry, some of them upset, but most of them being of the furious category. Many of these thoughts, if enacted, would land her in a bit of trouble, and others… more so. But, as said before, Rachel wasn’t the type to let the heat of the moment sweep her up.

Her [i]ex-[/i]boyfriend wanted to dump her for some barnyard animal? Fine. She could have someone better than him by the end of the week. She could find twice the man. A man among men.

With that in mind she walked over, bent down, and grabbed her bags with a huff. “I JUST WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT YOU DUMPED ME FOR A HORSE, ANON!” she yelled. “YOU LOST THE [I]BEST[/I] THING IN YOUR LIFE FOR SOME FURRY ANIMAL!”

Neither Anon nor Celestia said a thing, but pressing her head against the door and hearing those quiet giggles told her all that she needed to know.

>>28118326
Alright, I'm done for now. I think I'll have a couple more chapters of this before I go onto the estrus one. I had wanted it to be something really funny at first but I don't think it ended up being that. I'll try to make something fun out of it tho.

Comments, suggestions, criticisms, anything and everything is welcome

>>28118347
It was silly, but also a little bit sad as this Rachel chick seemed like she is going to be in for a big shocker once she finds Anon and horse are now gone.

Another thing is that I am also somewhat expecting Anon to loose his temper with Celestia if he can't do the thingsame he used to do without issue.

Also it just seemed rather silly, we're are the neighbors? Are the listending Inot on what's going on by chance

>>28118192
Glad to hear that
It's easy. I have zero time but have motivation too and so I do these anywhere I can, even at work. Even if it means "one pic for a thread in a day" sometimes

>>28118326
I kinda feel bad for that girl. Get dumped on by the horsiest of the magical cuties that literally fall from the sky. There must be some mean catch somewhere...

>>28118347
The repeated "a talking horse" statements of disbelief went on too long. I feel like Rachel should have had more interaction, asking him why he wanted to leave her, or promising to be better, or bitterly breaking up with him, something. Maybe an odd bit of sympathy from Celestia.

>>28118347
I thought it was good. 8/10

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>>28118326
Poor Rachel. How was a flawed human supposed to compete against Best Princess?

>>28118408
>Anon tells Celestia of all the times she'd "playfully" hit or slap him
>The times she yelled at him
>Comments about finding a "better" man
>How he'd get in trouble with the police if people heard him yell at her
>Celestia is appalled and confused
>CLICK
>"Anon, why is there a horse on our couch?"]
>Celestia is now on a mission to free this poor colt from an abusive mare

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>>28118460
Truly she hadn't a chance.

>>28118432
That's the thing, though. She kept on thinking about about things like "he makes enough money I guess" and "He's the sort of guy you could probably show to your parents without being embarrassed" and her whole attitude was "I could do better", and I think Celestia picked up on that,

>>28118347
the sounds like anon is being mind controlled

>>28117948
>She liked how pretty its ivory white, almost ivory-colored looked
Ivory-colored what?

>>28118496
her ivory.

>>28118018
>Rachel’s eye twitched again as the pony wrapped its hooves around Anon, pulling her back against its chest, before enveloping him completely in its wings.
hhhnggg
youre too good with imagery lap

>>28118091
>“You’re stallion?... You’re STALLION?!
Your.

>>28118542
Hey. You don't know that Celestia had always been a mare. check your privilege

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>>28118276
>Celestia chuckled. “I’m afraid that your words no longer hold any sway with Anonymous here,” she proclaimed with a shake of her head. “I have taken him from you with my marely prowess and my pretty wings and my kisses!”
I can't tell if she's being smug or cute.

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>>28118593

>>28118347
So, is the EX-girlfriend going to be a recurring character then?

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>>28118347

>>28118485
This. This reeks of mind control. If it isn't, does Anon even have knowledge of pone? I don't think I would dump my gf of two years for Celestia. Not in two hours at least. Come on, man. You could have found another way. It's fucking magic.

>A year ago, Anon found a portal to Equestria in his tornado of a closet that his Gf refuses to even open.
>Goes back and forth.
>Gives up job on earth because trading treasure made on pony adventures is easier.
>Gets to know Celestia over the course of the year.
>Has to tell he's Gf that he's leaving her and that he loves Celestia or he will feel like a dick.
>Current point.

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>>28118645
idk, Rachel seems like kind of a dick. Like 80% of her inner monologue is about how shit Anon is and how she could do better.

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>>28118645
>I don't think I would dump my gf of two years for Celestia.
From the sounds of it they don't really love each other all that much.
And mind control sounds really out of character for Celestia, considering how kind and benevolent she is.

>>28118678
anon is way too passive

doesnt seem to question how weird the situation is

>>28118678
That's just what she wants you to think.

>>28118678
FUCK that image

I want Celestia to call me a silly pants.

>>28118693
Seems like a really chill 'go with the flow' type of guy. And who knows, he might have flipped the fuck out for half an hour when she first dropped on top of him.

>>28118711
i think go with the flow guys wouldnt be that chill with extra dimensional horse sun goddess

not even the ones who'v seen some shit

>>28118735
Which is what the second half of my post talked about.

>>28118674
That's just a normal woman.

>>28118760
i know

an hour is not even the BARE MINIMUM for this shit to be considered casual

>>28118776
Maybe for you.

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>>28118645
Rachel sounds like a supreme cunt. No big loss.
>Mother told you to ditch him every time
>You could get a better man by the end of the week
>Harshly judging hobbies simply because they don't fit in what she thinks is 'normal' or 'right'.

Money grubbing power mongering whore. If you don't want the horse pussy you are in the wrong damn place.

>>28118774
All the more reason to go for Celestia, who appreciates him. I'd sell my soul to be in his position.

>>28118795
P this. If it only took 2 hours for a talking horse to convince Anon to get out of their relationship, then it says something about Rachel.

>>28118804
Celestia would prefer you didn't sell your soul.

>>28118811
It also says something about Anon.
Something like
>I'm so lazy I would happily throw my life away in a relationship that sucks rather than get off my ass to do something about it

Seem to me like Anon and Rachel were made for each other.
Celestia is making a huge mistake.

>This entire discussion
Has anyone here ever been in a long-term relationship? Hell, have you ever interacted with a human before?

>>28118843
why dont abused housewives just get off their asses and do something to fix their relationship

>>28118858
A girl once held my hand.

Partners are expected to have at lest some measure of loyalty for each other. The fact hat Anon dumped his girl for one he met two hours prior is more of a red flag for Celestia than anything.

>>28118883
This.

>>28118858
>Has anyone here ever been in a long-term relationship?
No.

>Hell, have you ever interacted with a human before?
A few times, if you count my parents.

>>28118788
bruh what fucked up world do you live in?

do you fucking live in tzeentch's world?

>>28118883
>Partners are expected to have at lest some measure of loyalty for each other.
Neither of them are obviously happy with each other, as indicated by him willing to ditch her so quickly and her inner thoughts constantly implying she'd happily trade up for someone else.

>>28118645
>>28118485
He was mind controlled by her cute appearance, heavenly demeanor and sweet aroma of freshly-made orange juice and maregasm.

Fucking niggers, I swear to my non-existent god. The absurdity of the situation is being played for laughs.

It's not supposed to be logical by any sense of the word, even though Anon actually has good reasons to dump his gf.

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>>28119036
Yeah, this is true. People are taking this silly story way too seriously.

Plus, who wouldn't drop their girlfriend like a rock for this perfect pretty pink princess pony?

So a thread or two back I saw talk about how I might hate you RGRE, well I am here to hopefully show otherwise.

Originally this was supposed to be a short story about a cop Anon who hates his job and does poorly on purpose to get fired but not only doesn't get fired, but instead gets promoted due to things shenaniganing themselves in his favor. But... things changed, drastically, as I gave up on that and instead went in a completely different direction. This short is now much longer than intended and much more serious. It's also rushed and probably corny due to my constricting it down out of sheer need to keep this a short complete story so I can continue in Incest thread. Apologies in advance for that. Now with all that out of the way, let's begin!

>"You made a big mistake walking in here, colt."
>Water droplets trickle down from the brim of your hat, trailing down the back of your coat.
>Outside this musty smoke filled dump that some might call a saloon the storm rages on outside.
>One dim, half burned out lamp hovers up above, it's light gives you just enough purchase to confirm these six mares before you as your targets.
>Their eyes seem sharp, hungry, dangerous.
>But you can see through them, all the way down to their core.
>The way their chests fill only half-way before letting out the air in their chests and quickly going back for more.
>The way their legs are narrow, right on the line of casting stance and running, but just a hair more towards the latter.
>"Bounty doesn't say nothing about how we bring you in..." one of the growls, licking her lips.
>You stand firm in the doorway, behind you the wind is whipping around so fiercely that you can feel the chill surround you.
"Better mares than you have tried-"
>In that moment their eyes look away from yours.
"And you're all about to join them..."
>Six horns illuminate, all various different colors.
>Their heads begin to lower, as their magic charges.

>>28119071
>But your head stands tall, your eyes remain sharp and focused, ears sharply tuned.
>Oathkeeper comes free from its holster.
>You can hear the low hum of their spells reaching the casting limit.
>Leftmost, second from right, center, far back, far right, second from left.
>The cast order is set and you still have a few moment extra to take a breath.
>You take aim as you pull the hammer back.

>*CRACK*
>The sign designating the path that leads up to Breakneck Peak whips against the mountain wall behind it.
>The wind changes direction and the sign begins to sway in the opposite direction.
>You squint as the dirt blows up near your face.
>*CRACK*
>It shifts again, you let out a sneeze and dab your nose with a hoofkerchief you had in your saddlebags.
>"Hey look! It's the geezer's hand-butler!"
>You turn around, a group of four mares are all smirking at you, you don't even need the wind to shift to know that they're completely cidered up.
>"Gonna go break rocks up there with him?" one of them asks.
"Shut up!"
>They all break out into laughter.
>"Aww c'mon, don't get so upset. Listen, why do you keep wasting your time up there with him? You could be doing much better things..."
>A growl rumbles in your throat.
>"Yeah, like us!" another in the group says causing them all to laugh again.
>The mare at the head slaps a hoof into the mare who made the joke's chest.
>Hard enough to make her double over in pain.
>The alpha glares at her herd before turning back around to you with an overly sweet fake smile.
>"Sorry about her, she just gets overexcited easy... isn't that right?" she growls to the mare who is just now getting.
>"Y-yeah, sorry." she mutters back.
>"See, she's sorry! Listen, spending time out there is just going to make you look as haggard as the old guy that lives there. We can take good care of you here, we don't even care that you dropped out of school-"
>Your anger consumes you for just a brief moment, but it was enough.

>>28113831
>fucking up spoilers
>deleting posts
>rambling
Fuck me... I've said this before, but I'm legit surprised this was legible. I need to stop 'ending up' on mlp when I'm off my ass.

>>28117294
>but not before drawing a lewd post-ending of the last Bombshell short. "We are doing it on the backyard" one
Is this excite? Is this TRUE excite?

>>28118347
The 'setting' was a little weird, but otherwise this was neat. Keep it up LaP.

>>28119071
>Frostypost
>REDY

>>28119080
>A rock whips up from the ground and cuts the mare in front of the herd across the cheek.
>Her face becomes sour, the group behind her seems unsure of what to do now.
>The alpha's eyes look into yours with a menacing glare.
>You return with a firm look of your own.
>She breaks contact first and walks off towards town, "Psh, whatever... waste your time breaking rocks or whatever it is you do up there with old guy" she spits out.
>You look up the pathway to Breakneck Peak and let out a small sigh before beginning the ascent up.
>The walk is quiet and lonely.
>Your only company is the hot sun beaming down on your head with the occasional scorpion skittering past.
>That mares words still burn in your chest.
>Dropout.
>You know you shouldn't let it get to you.
>Even if it's true, it wasn't because you couldn't cut it in regular old magic school.
>It's becuase you dreamed for more.
>You wanted to be the next Starswirl the Bearded, or Twilight Sparkle, or Starlight Glimmer.
>But when the time came for your assessment, Princess Celestia didn't seem to find your gift much of one worth giving.
>And the badlands aren't much of a place where friendships develop, not when life requires a more cutthroat approach than the inner lands of Equestria.
>So you had to accept that you would never become the next anypony.
>Until you settled back into your hometown to take up a barbutler position and learned of a stranger having moved in during your absence.
>One who collects every bit of metal and flashpowder that they could get, takes trips out to Gryphonia and Bovinia often.
>You thought perhaps they were an alchemist, but it was very clear upon first meeting him that he was no alchemist.
>And even more importantly, that he was someone you could learn from.
>But he wasn't willing to part with that knowledge so easily at the start.

>>28119090
"Please!" you begged, dropping your rump to the ground and clapping your hooves together in front of your face.
>Anonymous blew air through his nose, "You want me to teach you?" he repeated your question back.
"Y-yes.." you mumbled, "Please Master Anonymous. I-I want to be able to do what you did, wh-when those changelings ambushed me."
>He was like an overstuffed thundercloud.
>Light and airy.
>Fast and loud.
>Powerful and dangerous.
>With just the smallest movements of his two hands, and the metal catalyst clenched firmly in them, he saved your life.
>And more than that, he'd given you a new purpose.
>"Kid, what you're askin' me ain't no small thing."
"I-I know, but I promise I'll do everything you tell me."
>He sighed, "See, already that's part of the problem kid. It ain't about you doin' what I tell you. Any idiot can do that, it's about listening. Understanding. Learning."
"I'll do that! All of those things. Please master Anonymous, teach me!"
>His nostrils flared, the cold piercing look in his eyes bore into you unlike any you've ever seen before.
>A smirk spread across his face after what felt like an eternity of silence and judgement passed, "First thing's first kid, DON'T call me master."
>You swallowed down the nervousness that was building in your throat as he stared you down and nodded repeatedly.

>"Hey kid" he greets you gruffly, which is warmly for him.
>Took you a few years under him before you started to recognize the subtle difference, but a few more years down the line and you can clearly tell the difference now.
>He's unlike any teacher you've ever had before.
>Blunt, impatient, direct, and very demanding.
>"Good morning Anonymous."
>He sits up from his hunched over spot at his workbench and looks over at you.
>Your ears flick and turn in his direction to hear him sniffing.
>Uh oh.
>"You been casting magic kid?"
>Your body tenses up with unease.
"Y-yes. Just tossed a stone at some drunk mares who-"
>He cuts you off with a gravely hum.

>>28119097
>Master Anonymous, as he will never be called out loud by you, tosses your belt at you.
>You catch it in your magic and quickly slip it around your waist.
>It hangs just a little loosely on you, and you feel a small sense of pride as you pull it just a bit tighter so it rests firmly on you.
>You've changed a lot over the years, and it's all thanks to Master Anonymous.
>"Kid!" he growls, drawing you from your thoughts.
>You whip around in place and face Master Anonymous.
>"Quit that day dreaming! C'mon!" he barks.
>You scurry over to catch up to him.
>The two of you travel out into the badlands proper using a path behind his house.
>His shoulder cloak whips with the stinging winds as he leads you.
>The sun shines brightly onto the gun on his hip, it reflects light right into your eye with every other step.
>You adjust your hat, tilting it lower to block the reflection.
>He comes to a stop just as you both reach an open clearing.
>You walk up to stand next to him.
>The only sound between you both is faint whistle of the wind as is rips through these barren lands.
>"Tell me something kid."
>You look up at your master, his eyes remain locked to the landscape beyond.
"Yes Ma- uh, Anonymous?"
>"Why'd you use your magic?"
>You swallow down the nerves and let out a slow and steady breath to recenter yourself.
"I-I uh, I got taken by surprise."
>"Physically?" he asks, seemingly with the same gruffness as before, but you hear the slightly quickened pace with his question.
>His eyes glance down at you, looking you over briefly for any damage.
>You feel a small bit of relief in your heart knowing that he's concerned for you.
"No, Anonymous. Th-they poked at me, trying to get a rise."
>"And you gave it to them?"
"Yes."
>He sighs, "Kid, what did I tell you about-"

>>28119071
I remember this, it is pretty good.

>>28119110
"I know!" you snap back, "Not to lean on my crutches. To stand on my two- four good legs. That a cool head and preparation are vital to surviving out here. To act with an almost certain prediction of what will come next. Not just react. Act. I know..."
>Your breathing is heavy after having aired out your frustrations.
>Not at him, though they were barked at him, but at yourself.
>For cracking under just a bunch of drunk-
>A firm hand rests on your shoulder.
>Looking over you find Anonymous is eye level with, down on one knee.
>You sniffle away some of the tears that were starting to build up and stand up tall.
>You remember him having to sit all the way down on his butt to be eye level with you, the thought brings you some small bit of joy before you have to hear him scold you.
>But the scolding never comes.
>Instead, he leans over and reaches into the holster of his belt.
>He pulls out one of his revolvers and holds it out to you.
>Master Anonymous says that you'll get your own gun once you truly understand what it means to own one.
>You take it in your magic.
>The moment you do, just like you always have, you hear his words echo in your mind, "Heavy isn't it? For something so small. You remember this weight kid, down the line you'll get stronger, this'll be nothing for you, but you remember this weight."
>You bob the single action in the air twice before holstering it in your belt.
>A sound rings out just above the wind.
>Your ears flick and swivel as you try to pinpoint what it is and where it's coming from.
>It rings out again, louder this time.
"Anonymous!" you whisper loudly.
>He hums in response, unfazed by the sound.
>Though you know that's only because of his lack of hearing.
"Changelings! I can hear them coming this way."
>A toothy grin spreads across his face, "Oh, good."
"Good? How is that good?!"

>>28119116
>Remember this
U wot? This is an all new story, unless you mean the cop thing, which I did do a very short cop thing forever ago, but it wasn't like my idea above either

>>28119123
>He slips the rifle off of his back and firmly takes it into his hands, "Because, I now know I didn't waste all that bait I set out here last night."
>Your heart pounds in your chest.
"You did WHAT?!" you hiss.
>He looks over at you, the calm confidence in his eyes puts you somewhat at ease, until he holds the rifle out for you to take that is.
>"You think you know it all, right kid?"
"I-I don't-"
>"No no... it's alright, great even, that you do. Because we're about to put that to the test. Take it." he commands.
>You swallow, but the nerves hang in your throat.
>You lift the gun up in your magic and firmly hold it in place just in front of you.
>The clicking and buzzing gets even louder now.
>You think you can see them off in the distance.
>It's hazy with the sun bearing down on the rocky land, so you're not certain.
>"Listen to me kid, you have no problem hitting targets. Still, moving, thrown, fast, slow, but here is where it really counts-"
>Your hooves tremble, every couple of exhales come out a shudders.
>"Here is where you get a completely different kind of target, for a different kind of lesson. This place is too far out for the Princess to oversee clearly, their rule means little here. Only one thing matters out here, power."
>You can see the changelings for sure now, they're hovering several feet out in the distance.
>They're circling around whatever Master Anonymous must have set out as bait.

>>28119137
>"Magic, its spells are just fancy lies. They giving weak ponies a false sense of power. Charge up fire, or explosions. Ice and lightning bolts, whatever you fancy, just cast it without a care in the world. Don't even have to aim properly, not for something you intend to kill with a beam or a bolt, in fact, you have to look away to do it, what with how the horn is placed on your heads."
>The changelings seem to be losing interest in the bait.
>"That don't apply to a gun, kid. With that thing in your grasp, that weight on your hip, you wield true power. You gotta look at what you intend to kill. There's no way 'round that. Further the target, harder you have to look. Closer the target, well, sounds easier but avoiding catchin' their eyes, just before you pull that trigger, that's where it's hard. There are no 'accidents' with a gun that come with half-hearted apologies, there is misuse, there are consequences, the bullet is the truth and you are its harbinger."
>The changelings sniff at the air, you can hear their buzzing get more excited.
>Their bright green eyes turn towards where you and Master Anonymous are crouched.
>Seeing those six green orbs all focus on your makes your blood run cold.
>Each beam of Celestia's powerful sun feels like a dagger boring into your skin, piercing through to the cool blood beneath.
>"Better make your choice soon kid, seems like they're onto us now. Far away or up close."
>You hear them click repeatedly in communication to each other.
>You lift the rifle up, it trembles slightly as you have trouble focusing the magic properly.
>Through the sight you get a focused view on your three pursuers.
>The length of their fangs.
>The cracked, shiny look of their hard-shelled bodies.

>>28119146
>"C'mon kid, you've lived out here in the outlands most of your life. You have seen death, you knew some of the fallen. You want me to teach you everything I know? Doing this is critical, we will not go any further until you do this!" he says, enunciating each word with a gravely punch.
>Every breath out is shuddered now, you can't hold the rifle steady anymore.
>The changelings are closing in, the sounds of their wings rings loudly in your ears.
>They ache from all the buzzing.
>You lift the rifle up again, line the sight up with the front one's chest.
>You're too unsteady to aim for the head right now.
>He's right, you know he's right.
>You promised you'd do those three things. Listen. Understand. Learn.
>You heard the command.
>You understand his reasoning.
>But...
>"Kid..." he calls out, as the changelings close in on you both.
>They're too close now, the rifle won't do while you're shaking like this.
>You set it down and quickly slip the single action out from the holster.
>The weight in your magical grip feels immense the moment it's free.
>The changelings surround you in a loose triangle formation.
>"KID!" Master Anonymous barks, just before the the changelings strike.
>Your breathing slows.
>Everything slows.
>You watch two and hear the third.
>Front two hooves up.
>Back two up.
>Jaws extend, revealing fangs as big as your hoof.
>Bottom right went first.
>Then the top one, behind you.
>Lastly bottom left.
>Deliberation is important, and under Master Anonymous, you've learned not just where to shoot, but when.
>How to make each bullet count.
>You could shoot in the reverse order and still drop the closest one before it even got half-way.
>But...
>Bottom right arcs past halfway.
>You blink.
>"*Crack* *Crack *Crack*
>You can hear nothing outside of the ringing in your ears, but you feel them through your hooves.
>As their bodies land dead on the ground around you.
>A thin wisp of smoke trails out from the tip of Master Anonymous' gun.

>>28119157
>He holds it up to his lips and blows it out before they return to a firm line.
>You made a mistake.
>You didn't do what he said...
>Your body trembles, vision becomes blurry.
>The tall blur of your master leans over.
>You can faintly hear the sound of his rifle rattle as it's lifted up from the ground beside you, over the ringing still going.
>He sighs, "C'mon kid" he commands.
>You hear him, and you try to obey, but your body refuses to move.
>Your hearing has recovered now.
>Over the faint whistle of the wind in the barren place, you can hear gentle plinks of dripping water.
>The fur on your cheeks are soaked through.
>Your knees beg to buckle, to drop you to the ground but you are able to summon enough strength at least to remain standing.
>"I said come on, kid."
>But it takes everything you have, walking is completely out of the question now.
>Master Anonymous sighs again, you're not sure if you heard it clearly because it didn't sound annoyed or frustrated.
>It sounded... regretful?
>His boots crunch the sand with each step as he approaches you.
>You can hear the changeling skin creak as he drops down to his knee.
>You can't look at him right now, you don't feel like you deserve to.
>His hand rests on your shoulder, not firmly like he would do to remind you that you're too tense while aiming.
>But gently, you can't quite tell the reason behind his touch.
>And he doesn't give you one, no commands, no scoldings, he remains silent while you blubber on.
>When you finally work it all out of your system and the tears dry up you wipe your eyes with your arm.
>He's still beside you, his hand is still right on your shoulder.
>It takes you a moment to will up the courage to turn your head.
>When you do, you find yourself looking at his hat.
>You tilt your head down some.
>Master Anonymous is looking out at the horizon again, sitting on his rear.
>He felt you shift under his hand, and turns to look up at you, "Got it out of your system kid?"
>You nod.

>>28119167
>"Alright..." he responds softly.
>Master Anonymous pushes down on your shoulder briefly as he rises and dusts himself off.
>He adjusts the strap of his rifle before walking back up the path to his home.
>You keep your head high and step even higher to avoid the changeling as you follow behind him.
>The walk back is quiet, even the wind seems to have gone down with your mood.
>You both reach his home after a long walk.
>He holds out his hand.
>You know what he wants, but it almost scares you to do it.
>To give up the gun.
>Fear grips your heart, a fear that makes you think you may never hold another one again.
>He was clear back then, there is no moving forward now.
>"Kid?" he asks, turned away from you.
>You take in a deep breath and hold it in your chest.
>It gives you a false sense of courage as you take the gun from the holster and float it over to him.
>He hears your magic twinkle and takes the gun out of the air without looking.
>The rifle and his second revolver are locked away in his shed, along with most other things related to firearms.
>"Kid-"
"D-don't." you whisper back.
>His broad shoulders tense.
>You don't want to hear him say it.
>Say the words you had somewhat always feared.
>"I won't teach you anymore."
>"Don't what, kid?"
"Don't tell me you won't be my master anymore."
>"Kid..."
>The weight in his voice already confirms your worst fears.
>Tears burst forth from your eyes, they had been building up the entire walk back, and this was the crack they needed to break through.
>Your face becomes very hot, you can already feel the salty tears soaking into your coat.
>You turn for the path back into town, to your bed, to the life a failure like you deserves.
>Before you realize it, you find yourself already on the path back down.
>It's Mas- Anonymous' call that makes you take note of this.
>"KID!" he calls out to you, but your body is acting on its own now.
>You sprint the entire path back into town.

>>28119177
>By the time you reach the sign pointing back the way you came you have become a sweaty, snotty, teary mess.
>Eyes from the locals turn towards you.
>Each one is like a dagger to your heart, your failure is now on full display to the entire town.
>"Hey!" a voice calls to you from the crowd.
>A mare trots up to you, she has a thin scar across her cheek, "You look a right mess. Did that old geezer do something to ya?" she asks.
>You just want to go home, to curl up in your bed and be forgotten.
>You try to step past her but she sidesteps back into your way.
>She lays a hoof on your chest, "Hey, I'm serious! Did he do something?! I heard word from one of my girls out of town that he got wrapped up in some nasty business out on the outskirts of Appleoosa, years ago, went all hysterical and killed a sheriff. Now you tell me if-"
"Just leave me alone!" you screech, shoving her out of the way and running for the shelter that is your home.
>Your legs give the moment you enter your room.
>Knees gave you just enough support to stumble onto your bed and bury your face into your pillow.
>You sob deeply, painfully, letting each tear soak into the soft down feathers beneath you.
>Your body feels completely drained after everything that's happened.
>At some point, you can't bear the burden of staying awake any longer and your eyes close permanently.

"Ah!"
>The loud crack of thunder rouses you from your sleep.
>Outside a strong night storm rages.
>Your window rattles as the wind whips and thunder booms through the harsh terrain, making it harsher by the time it's over.
>Your head swims with memories and emotions from the day.
>Sorrow wells up in your chest.
>His words echo through your mind.
>About the importance of power.
>The difference between fire power and firepower.
>The burden of responsibility on one, but not the other...
>What it means to kill with magic versus a bullet.
>Fear... and truth.
>You recall something else.

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I love it when new threads start with a sea of green. Gives the warm and fuzzy feelings.

>>28119191
>Something about Mas- Anonymous... and Appleoosa.
>He went hysterical.
>In all the time you've known him, hysterical is the last thing you would ever have applied to him.
>Everything swirls around in your head until a conclusion strikes you.
>You squint from the flash of light outside.
>Just as lightning struck the peak apparently.
>It must have hit pretty hard, you can still see light-
>Your breath catches in your throat.
>That can't be...
>You quickly slip on your hat and throw a cloak over your shoulder.
>Your belt rattles from the sudden motion, apparently you left Mas- Master Anonymous so suddenly that you didn't think to give it back.
>The door to your house blows open as you bolt into the storm.
>Towards the raging fire atop Breakneck Peak.
>You run faster than you ever have before.
>The wind chills you to your bones and each drop of rain that strikes your coat stings like an icy dagger, but you don't slow down.
"Anonymous!" you shout, as you reach his home.
>The fire has mostly burnt out now, the rain had soaked his home enough to halt the spread.
>The door to his home rattles against the frame as the wind slams it open and shut.
>You rush over to the front door and rip it open.
>The inside is almost totally soaked through, everything is either damp or singed.
>Lightning flashes overhead, illuminating the dark room before you for just a few moments.
>You knew the floor was soaked, but the pale red color to the puddles tell you that it's not all rain.
>Your heart sinks, each breath becomes a struggle to let out.
>Nearby you hear the creak of a chair scraping against wood.
>You steady your breathing as you slowly make your way over to the chair.
>Each hoofstep becomes heavier than the last as you approach.
>You hear a faint groan.
>The depth of the voice, you know it all to well.
>Hope begins to burn in your chest as you practically vault over the couch to get to the living room.

>>28119196
If only any of it was decent.

>>28119199
>That hope sinks into a black pit in your heart when your eyes fall upon Master Anonymous' battered form.
>He slowly raises his head, face stained crimson but thankfully mostly obscured by his hat.
>"C-come back to finish the job y-you cowards..." he spits in your direction.
>You can only look on in shock, words refuse to escape your lips.
>You watch him shift, just slightly, with a flash of lightning you see him tuck a gun behind his back.
>It wasn't like any you had seen before.
>Silvery metal and a bone white ivory wood handle.
"Master..." you squeak out, more a fearful exhale than word, but he understood you regardless.
>The firm line of his lips weaken, his bottom lip quivers slightly, "K-kid?" he whispers.
>You immediately rush to his side and fall to your knees before him.
>His body goes limp, it leans back forward into the wooden beam that had fallen over his legs, pinning him there.
>You place a hoof to his face and he meets it with a weak hand.
"Master... wh-what happened?" you whine.
>He groans, coughs, and spits a dark fluid before he is able to answer you, "Cowards. Fear driven cowards happened. They got wind of my past, somehow, were convinced I hurt you..."
>Your blood becomes ice in your veins.
"Master... I'm so sor-"
>"Don't."
>He takes in a wheezing breath, "Don't tell me you're sorry. You didn't do nothing wrong kid."
"B-but I- If I had just shot then-"
>"Then what?" he growls, "You would've been set on the same damned path I cursed myself with!"
>He gets into a brief coughing fit before continuing.
>"You swore to do three things. What were they?"
"To l-listen."
>He hums approvingly.
>"T-to understand."
>He hums much softer now.
>Your breath becomes as shuddered as his is ragged.
>"To learn..." you finish, just barely a whisper.

>>28118875
Hashtag rekt.

>>28119208
If you meant me, I'm sorry. I'm almost done, and hopefully stories you do like will be posted here soon

>>28119221
>"I told ya back then, any idiot could just do what I tell them. Because I'm the biggest idiot of them all..."
"Master-"
>"I had a family once... There was a- a robbery while were out shopping for foal's clothing. Didn't even know whether to buy blue or pink yet" he takes in a shuddered breath before continuing, "Settled on yellow for the time being, nice soft yellow color."
>Your face becomes wet, not just from the rain trickling in.
>"Kicker is, wasn't the robber that did it. The sheriff was careless, thinking herself a powerful mare with her horn and her badge. Deputies held me back, ME."
>His breath catches in his throat for a moment, "All I got was an apology, a sack of bits, and an offer to get a full refund on the clothes..."
>He grips your hoof as firmly as he can, you can barely tell the difference from before.
>"I understood then that things, at their core, hadn't changed from my world. I brought back what I had left behind when I first arrived here, and I carried it with me all this time."
>"I tried forcing that darkness on you, under the guise of a lesson, but you taught me something instead. As you sobbed beside me, I learned that you... are the stronger one."
"N-no Anonymous I'm not, I-I-"
>He makes a quiet shushing noise, "You are. You are, you are, you are." he repeats, getting quieter with each one.
>Your body can't stop trembling, and not from the cold, you stopped feeling that long ago.
>"Here-" he whispers, holding out the silvery weapon with a shaky hand, "take it. It's yours."
>You lift it up in your magic, you bob it in the air twice, slowly, before bringing it closer to your face.
>Even under the dim light you can see just how handsome this revolver is.

>>28119036
I know, right? Cue the next 100 posts just a bunch of retards calling either Anon or Rachel a horrible sociopathic child-rapist.

>>28119240
>"They caught me off guard, when they knocked at my door... I thought it was you, I wanted to give it to you, but you ran off before I got the chance. Didn't want to take the honor of its first shot from you... thought I could take 'em anyway but my pride is stronger and faster than my body."
>He chuckles weakly at his joke.
>You make something of a quicker sob in place of a true laugh.
>"Way back when, before coming here, I'd always had this idea... of watching my boy fire his own piece for the first. time..." his breathing is very slow now, wet too, "When I came here I tucked that idea away as just a fantasy, and when my kid was taken from me, before I'd even had the chance to meet them, I buried it..."
>The gun in your magical grip reflects the flash from the bolt of lightning that streaked across the sky.
>"But you... a wide eyed little colt all full of admiration and hope, you helped me dig that idea up, pulling more and more dirt as you grew bigger and stronger. You're not my kid..." he mumbles.
>You nuzzle his cheek gently, stroking his hand with your hooves, anything to keep him from getting any colder.
>"But if things had gone different that day... I'd have been the luckiest man alive to have a kid... even one percent as strong as you..."
"No... no no no Anonymous please..." you whimper.
>He smiles with crimson teeth.
>"Promise me... promise me you'll walk the stronger path... don't be taken like I was..."
>You nod against his cheek.
>"I love you ki- Peace Maker."
>You lean your head down, bury it into Anonymous' chest and sob.
>You cry harder than the storm raging on outside.
>And when you feel your eyes can produce no more tears, you rise, slowly and stand over Anonymous.
>In your firm grip you hold your weapon.
>The instrument of truth, piercing through the lies that strong people tell themselves when they're scared, when they feel like they've been slighted.
>Your blood boils in your veins.

>>28119252
>Your jaw aches from the tension you use to grit your teeth together.
>You take a breath and release that fire in your chest.
>This weapon that shines brightly even in the little light that filters in through the hole in the ceiling represents an oath.
>One you intend to keep...

>You take aim as you pull the hammer back.
*CRACK*
>One bullet, one truth, goes straight up, taking out the sole light fixture in this musty old building.
>The sudden darkness startles these cowards before you.
>Their fear is on clear display now, six fancy little lies twinkle in front of you.
>Your ears fold flat and you can feel the heat as five more slightly muffled bullets each crack the air just after you pull the hammer back.
>Five lights go dark as they are shown the truth, the sheer difference in the amount of power you wield over them.
>The sixth light dims, uncertainty is beginning to course through this coward.
>She is beginning to realize the truth.
>One bullet enters the chamber.
>The wheel spins, each rotation causes the fancy lie to dim more and more.
>It comes to a stop.
>You remember Anonymous' words after performing a similar action.
>"Do this long enough, kid, and you'll just know where the bullet is."
>Your magic tightens around the trigger.
>It resists your pull, giving you the last opportunity to back down before having no choice but to accept the consequences.
*CRACK*
>The light fades.

>"I-I don't know what else I can say to you, stranger... th-the guards, they did not show when we were threatened, they were hesitant when we went to them..."
>The dirty laborer wipes a tear from her eyes, "Without their horns, and their stolen riches returned, they have no more sway over this town... I-I can sleep without fear knowing my daughter and my husband will be safe through the night..."
>You rest a gentle hoof on her shoulder.
"Think nothing of it-"
>She brushes away your hoof, "Hold on a second, you're a stallion?!" she asks with bewilderment.

>>28119240
Don't worry, it's not you. Durnk and LaP are what's killing this thread. I don't even read stories if they aren't segmented in green.

>>28119268
>You tip your hat up.
"Yes?"
>The laborer's face becomes flushed with color, "Oh Sweet Celestia, I'm so sorry for my outburst it's just that I thought..."
>You chuckle, the look on their faces every time they hear you speak for the first time is always priceless.
"It's alright, I've heard it before."
>The mare lowers her head before quickly lifting it up, "Th-then let me offer you some food! We don't have much, but for a stallion like yourself to have gone through so much for our town, it's the very least I could-"
>You see two pairs of eyes peek out from behind the flustered mare.
>A small filly peeks out at you.
>Between her mother's legs you can see her body, a little thinner than it should be for a girl her age.
"It's quite alright, what I do is not for reward, but from an oath I have sworn to uphold."
>The mare's eyes widen.
>She lowers her head again, "Oh thank the sun and moon above that ponies like you exist!"
>You wave goodbye to the laborer and her family as you walk towards the edge of town.
>A signpost stands next to the welcome sign you didn't notice the first time you passed through here.
>Various notices and requests are pinned to it.
>Along with a couple of wanted posters.
>Dead center, with the boldest text out of any of them is-
"Ooh! Haven't seen this one before, such a handsome drawing! Guess the cowards are getting better at their descriptions."
>You rip the poster off the board and roll it up.
>Your saddlebags pop open and you replace the poster with the last one you thought was best.
>It's a little torn in the middle, but that shouldn't matter too much.
>[6,000 BIT REWARD
>[WANTED: ALIVE. For CRIMES of VIGILANTISM
>[Middle aged STALLION with a WHITE coat and SILVER mane and tail
>[Cutie mark UNKNOWN
>[Name UNKOWN
>You always like reading the last part, came about as an accident too.

>>28119278
>Your coat got ripped up during an unexpected scuffle, your patchwork was good but it apparently left a pattern you didn't pick up on until you saw the name in your first Wanted poster.
>The wind whips up as you turn to leave for the next town over.
>Your coat flaps and flutters in the wind, distorting the pattern on the back.
>A smile spreads across your face as you think back to the last line in every one of your wanted posters.
>[Known Aliases: Colt 45

And that's the end, probably most of the reason I wrote this is for the last line. I probably should've prefaced this as I'm sure it's obvious to any who got through all that, I do not venture into /k/ and my knowledge of firearms is fairly weak, but hopefully I did an alright enough job that I don't trigger anyone. Thanks to all of you who read through to the end, I hope you enjoyed it.

>>28119071
>short complete story
You have a very different definition of short than I do.
I like it though
Write more Pie sisters please

>>28119269
Is this bait.

LaP's story is likely going on Fimfic, which is why it's prose.

>>28119305
So he should post it there rather than wasting posts here. Admitting to being a fimfic writer is like saying, "Hey, I'm not part of this board or culture, but I'm just gonna waste your time with some blacktext bullshit."

>>28119301
Yeah I guess long-ish complete story would've been better. I'm glad to hear you liked it, and don't worry with this out of my system It's all Pie sisters for the time being, at least until Limestone's arc is done anyway.

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>>28119196
I want to hang out with depressed teenaged emo pone and cheer her up.

>>28119331
Nigga quit being a whiny bitch. Don't even bother replying because I'm not getting dragged into a retard fight with you.

>>28119331
I agree with you, this is 4chan. Normies and newfags like non greentext stories.

But you're still kinda being a nigger about this.

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>>28119348
She already has a stallion tho

>>28119297
Daaamn, that was really nice Frosty, and a finished story, too. I liked your Clint Eastwood Anon, and your main character especially. It reminds me of a thing I've had in mind for a while as well, with a similar master/student dynamic and themes. You always make me wanna write things Frosty. Stap.

>>28119376
How about don't stop?

>>28119331
>Not part of this board or culture
You must be kidding, LaP has been here for quite a while, from what it looks like, you're the one that seems to be a little new to this place.

>>28119331
You know Anon, when I first found 4chan the first thread that I looked at was the Sun-day thread. This was like a year and a half ago, so the thread was always filled with writers. Snippet, Swartz, all of those guys were writing some really great shit. But whenever those guys wanted to write something that wasn't AnonXCelestia etc people would throw a hussy fit.

People bitched when someone write a Celestia X Mac story, people bitched whenever Luna wasn't trashed or Celestia wasn't shown in a good or amazing light, they'd bitch whenever they wrote in a different way or someone wrote in a different style.

That thread used to be my favorite one, but now, because people had to be rigid and didn't want to their writers to be creative or to try new idea, a Sun-day thread might hit 500 in two weeks if it's lucky.

>>28119297
Good stuff Frosty, I liked what you did with it.

>>28119331
>"I'm an whiny entitled cunt and everyone should do things MY way or else they aren't part of the """"culture"""" of writing fanfiction about a children's cartoon show!"
Excuse me, SIR, please continue to tell me the exact specifications you would like your free entertainment. Here's my wife; why don't you fuck her too while you're at it?

>>28119392
So what you're saying is that a thread inevitably goes to shit and dies when it gets infested with stupid faggot assholes?

Yes. This is true.

This thread has been increasingly infested with stupid faggot assholes.

>>28119392
Be free, Lap. I've always really liked what you posted, but things in this thread are going to shit. I wouldn't blame you if you left.

>>28119342
Damn I was looking forward to your Pinkie arc

>>28119297
>[Known Aliases: Colt 45

Kek

>>28119376
Egads! A zmobie! And a very flattering undead at that too! love you ghoulsie-sempai It's really an honor to know that that bullshittery I call green makes anyone feel inspired, especially you sempai

>>28119396
Thanks Anon, a huge concern was that all of it would be dismissed as edgy right out of the gates so I'm glad you liked it (even if you did maybe think it was edgy and didn't say anything)

>>28119392
Sun-day thread will always be sorely missed. I miss what Momlestia used to be early on too Your story has me very interested in seeing where it'll go herd-wife
A-am I doing this right? I don't know if write-herd is still memeing on here...

>>28119434
I loved it. If anons think your story is edgy, then god help us. Considering how often we use the word "snootie" in our green, it's no surprise you'd be afraid that the very mention of a gun would result in a 50-post shitstorm.

>write-herd
Not for long. Maybe things will pick up in September, but I wouldn't get my hopes up.

>>28119278
>>[6,000 BIT REWARD
>not 60 billion double-bits

I understand that you don't want to do anything more with this and ended it satisfactorily, but I want more. Or rather, more in this style. It's a refreshing break from
>you can't do that anon because you're a colt and I'm going to have complete control over your life from now on

But seriously, thanks. It was great.

>>28119434
no more love pls i blush
It's true doe. I know you've moved away from it, but I'm pretty sure that the first parts to your 'Ancient Anon in old-school minotuar lands' green is what got me off of my hiatus and back into writing/expanding First Impression. Keep up the good work Frosty.

I STILL haven't read your Piecest story, but I feel like I wanna save it for a rainy day. Choices choices...

>>28119392
/sun/ is just a shadow of what it used to be. like you, some of my first green was there. When you continue whether here or fimfiction, can you at least post about it, so we know to look for it.

I don't remember this place having so many negative Anon's, even when that one Anon with a questionable past green bin tried writing. Hell, after being called lazy and a talentless hack, I still want to write, but find less of a want, to do it. I will say though, seeing someone be this much of a dick towards LaP, makes me question what happened to this place?

>>28119519
Its just a troll coming in on summer, and should be laughed at as such.

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>>28119434
>>28119410
>>28119408

I'm not gonna leave.

Hey writefags that are lurking in this thread. U-Uhmmm, Swartz, Snippet, Frosty, BNW, Crazy, Ghouls, Shunk, fucking getmeouttahere(I know you're gonna see this shit you too), and everyone else in here.

Go and write some weird shit.

Go and write something that you've never written before, go do a subject that makes you nervous or even scares you. Write in in whatever style you want, first, second, third, prose, greentext, blacktext.

Write it even if you think it's a shitty idea, even if you think you'll fail and people will bitch and moan and shit out their mouths. Fuck'em. Write Anonymous if you have/want to even, but don't stop writing. Don't be scared of these people.

Don't let people hold back your ideas or tell you that you're a shitty writer; go and be a sick cunt that does sick shit.

Remember, whatever thread you go into, you're not locked in there with them.

They're locked in with YOU.

NOw go to bed everyone. It's bedtime

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>>28119331
Shut the fuck up you inbred retard. LaP has been a mainstay here longer than your inadequate bait.

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>>28119547
Goodnight.

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>>28119536
I hope so, but I doubt it.

>>28119519
People, Arnold. People did this.

>>28119569
Why would you doubt it? Shitposters have been running rampant all summer, its fine.

>>28119575
When's the last time something bad happened and then it got better? The bad sets a new standard, and anything good that happens after that are just flukes or temporary little things that will get compensated for with more bad.

Why in the world would anything GOOD ever happen, Anon? Not even limited to this thread, but just wherever?

>>28119547
>getmeoutahere
>remembering Homemade Kites
>fak u LaP why did you do this to me oh jeez oh boy here come the tears wtf man
Goodnight my swole friend, I'll take you're advice.

>>28119569
>pigeon man episode
>elbow-deep in my nostalgia
>wtf man who keeps putting these tears on my face
Not counting harsh but generally genuine-sounding criticism or review, there does seem to be an influx of nerd semen the last few days or so. It's fine, normal even. RGRE will truck on like usual.

>>28119297
>>[Known Aliases: Colt 45
NICE

It was good, I liked it. Much darker and grittier than what you normally read here.

>>28119428
I'm not too pleased with how it's looking at the moment, ideally as the Limestone arc comes to a close I'll have a better arc for Pinkie in mind. I, at the very least, have definites that will be going in the arc and they should be quite lewd fun.

>>28119431
I'm glad you liked that, seriously I really think that was my main motivator for the whole story

>>28119454
Yeah, things have been shifting around a lot lately. I'm flattered to hear that Anon.

>>28119489
I agree, personally I've always preferred stories that go a little deeper than "b-but you're a colt" even if I wasn't always the best at producing it

>>28119518
It started as a short response to a prompt while I was putting together the direction for the next part of my Double Suncest story, and has since sprawled into a story I'm starting to dig deeper into past the playful lewd that it started with. If you do get around to reading it I'd love to hear your thoughts. Seriously it's an honor to hear that I helped in any way towards FI. I'm sorry I didn't carry it on further than I did zompai

>>28119547
I knew you were too based to be turned away unlike me I just finished writing something that is out of my usual, wh-what do I do now write-wife? Please advise.

Okay, you Anons are all so very lovely and I'm glad my temporary return went over positively overall. Hopefully I can plan out more contained stories rather than ongoings in between incest green, which was really the main reason for not writing here. I'm gonna go catch some pokémon now that the update is out and they sort of fixed the game for a while before going to bed as write-wife suggests.

>>28119297
>Colt 45
I got me a Taurus 45.

>>28119809
I have my granddad's old Scorpio 45
it's a joke because scorpio is also a constelation do you get it fuckmeright

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>>28119809
>Taurus

>>28120157
..... I have no words for how much is wrong with that.

>>28120157
It works fine nigga.

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How Does Twilight not have a stallion of her own, yet?

There's no way a princess can be a virgin.

>>28120191
>not having your own virgin princess

>>28119547
>"But Anon, it's crazy to fly to the Moon!"
"Nonesense! You just need enough bucket of blast to get you there!"
>"I really think this is a bad idea Anon, I've flown up too high a few times before I passed out." Rainbow Dash says eyeing the contraption you've cobbleded together from less than legal sources.
"Relax, I've done this plenty of times! With Kerbals..."
>"What was that?"
"Oh, hahah nothing nothing, look I've set it to work on remote too, so nothing to worry about."
>Looking up at the rather impressive thirty meter tall can of explosives you grin at it.
"Right then, show time!"
>Pulling Rainbow down behind the bunker with a indignant hey, you pull the button out.
"If you please?"
>Rainbow eyes the button and then you for a long moment before sighing, "FIne I'll do your dumb colty th-click-AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
>As soon as the blue mare pushed the button the whole world began to shake and you watched with American pride shining in your eyes as the flames rocketed out sending your vessel into the sky.
>Right before it reenacted the Challenger and blew in a giant explosion of fire and death.
>You can feel the smug coming from Rainbow beside you, "So, what was that about man walking on the moon again?"
"Shut up."
>Today was a too many kerbals were lost kinda day.

>>28120248
Nigga just ask Luna. She'll send you there to die of asphyxiation or whatever.

>>28120264
It's different than getting there with magic, it's more impressive when done without it.

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>>28120176
>>28120187
Remember kids, buying Taurus is asking for trouble. It's 'used gun' prices with BRBRHuehue monkey quality.

>>28120335
It has yet to discharge into my leg.

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>>28120335
>this
buy American.

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>>28120360
>Mine is okay to Taurus is okay by extension!

>>28120389
Take your spicy memes back to /k/ friendo.

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>>28120362
>"Mac! You own a gun?! How dare you call yourself a stallion!"

>Anon went to college
>Excited to teach a whole new species things they have never thought of
>Ponies are sexist idiots
Fuck this, I'm going somewhere my knowledge will be appreciated
>20 years later
>"The Equestrian economic collapse has entered it's 16th month as cheap imports from Changeling hives in the Badlands have decimated local industries. Attempts to integrate Changeling technologies have been ineffective, not only because of starting from scratch, but also because the 'assembly line' is incompatible with cutie-marks.When this journalist attempted to contact the Changelings science adviser, he would only say 'as ye sow, so ye shall reap'. This reporter is fearful of the future.

>Ann shows up in Griffinstone
>Leads them from an economic depression to domination of international trade with his knowledge
>Sent to negotiate with ponies after Celestia makes some "hints" that a certain nation might experience some "increased sunshine" if Equestria is not provided with their new technology.
>something something RGRE

>>28120567
shit I meant anon

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>>28120400
>Not knowing Taurus is universally despised

>>28120530
Loving bugs is ultimate cuck, because it is not a creature that doesn't love you, but it's a creature that simply cannot love.

Unless Anon is now god emperor made immortal by the bugs and now leads them with his slut Chrysalis.

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>>28120483
>Implying a colt with a gun isn't hot as fuck
Get a load of this dyke

>>28120591
I think that's more tragic than anything. Can you imagine it? Being told love is amazing, the greatest emotion, being able to literally taste it, yet being incapable of feeling it?

>>28120530
>>28120567
>Anon has a degree
>Unfortunately, he can't create the components required to practice his field
>He's forced to chose between a life as an underpaid shop clerk or a househusband
>Creates a neo-stallionist movement so he can earn money without working

>>28120607
Not saying it isn't hot, but have you ever met an actual irl colt who isn't a gun-grabbing Lunatard?

>>28120623
>Can you imagine it? Being told love is amazing, the greatest emotion, being able to literally taste it, yet being incapable of feeling it?
No. I mean, no literally, i cannot imagine that.

Also my head cannon is that Changeling can FEEL love but are told they can't so that they don't fall in love, and those that figure out they do love end up running away from the hive.

This headcannon is based on a dream, take from that what you will.

>>28120662
If you're the sort of engineer who can't build your own tools, you are not an engineer.

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>>28120668
Well yea, the few pro-gun husbandos are few and far in between. But damn they're nice.

I blame Celestia, and her mothering all the colts and telling them they're special. Luna's crazy but at least she's not an idiot.

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>>28120686
Software engineer?

So yea, not a real engineer.

>>28120700
I've never met a software engineer who couldn't build a vacuum tube.

>>28120683
>Also my head cannon is that Changeling can FEEL love but are told they can't so that they don't fall in love, and those that figure out they do love end up running away from the hive.

this makes more sense than just Changelings are some mindless drones

>qt changeling wants to know true love, gets so much from anon she grows into a queen
>anon is disappointed Changeling waifu is not small and snuggable anymore but doesnt care
>tho changeling waifu senses the change in feeling decides to remove excess love and be back to being smol and cute
>other changelings detect the MASSIVE wasted love decide to investigate

something something RGRE

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>>28120706
Then you've never met a software engineer.

>>28120716
Dawww.

I wanna write a story based on my dream, because i have autism. But it's not RGRE, Probably gonna be in the bug thread.

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>>28120716
>>other changelings detect the MASSIVE wasted love decide to investigate
>a month later anon has several dozen changelings living with him, all vying for his love and attention in their own ways

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>>28119392
/sun/ shitposted itself to death. I also blame people for being stupid and constantly responding to baits and not using the report button. If the thread seemed to "slow down" then certain people would just bring up a bait post intentionally and cause shit endlessly, but /sun/ never learned. You people need to stop replying to certain posts. You know full well why they post like that.

Shit went on for MONTHS and the thread choked on the vomit a few individuals spewed endlessly and I'm sure they're still in the thread.

Sunhorse is my favorite, but her thread is total shit and I recommend no one visits it.

>>28119392
in light of those good Writefags

you got any pastebins on some of the good green?

>>28121315
>Be Sunhorse in Equestria.
>Discord out of nowhere.
>"You look like you need some FRIENDSHIP!"
>Discord vanishes.
>You feel a weight on your back.
>Fucking discord get off me.
>You toss him off.
>When he hits the wall he makes a crunch.
>And isn't discord.
"Shit."
>"That looked like it hurt."
>Shit you just maimed some foreigner, gotta fix this before Luna finds out
>Maybe if you hurry you can pin this on discord
>"I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you."
>You teleport along with wounded mcsquishedalot to the horsepital
>Once the doctors take your "new friend" for treatment you leave to try to do damage control.
>AKA pull down the huge signs that just showed up all over Canterlot
>"Celestia is a colt-beater!" "Come by the hospital and see how the Princess treats her friends!" "Princess Celestia, is grievous bodily harm your fetish?"
>Fucking Discord.

>>28118616
...
you know what, fuck it, I can deal with that.

>>28118678
A passive ability of alicorns, they make everyone who is around them for extended periods of time think they know their shit.

In reality, celestia is only as 'competent' as she is due to millennia of fucking up.

In comes anon, the first and possibly only thing immune to this passive trait.

>>28120686
>>28120662
My friend, not all the engineers have it easy with the tools of their respective categories.
For example, the electricians need tools that can detect certain properties of the energy, that lonely concept is more than enough to take more that 5 years in just research.
Then we have the ways to generate enough energy, protection, transmition, distribution and use.
Pal, the taming of the energy is very fickle and weird.
That's why is hard sometimes writing green with pones.
There is not right way to put it.
Even making an electric toaster would be hard in equestria.

>>28121607
And my english is shitty.
There i said it!

>>28118347
pretty good overall i greatly enjoyed it LaP you done goods.

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>>28120686
>>28120700
>>28120706

>Not applying your skills to spellweaving and enchanting
>Not bringing over a different understanding of computing science and development practices
>Not literally fucking with your compiler (who is a qt nerd mare)

P L E B
L
E
B

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>>28120776
Have a clean one

>>28120741
You can make it RGRE tho

>Anon's belongings turn into ponies
>Pillow mare: "Comfort is love, comfort is life."
>Nalgene Mare: "Remember to stay hydrated!"
>Computer Mare: "Hey, wanna hear Anon's fetishes?."

>>28122041
>These are actually just ponies who have gotten stuck to Anon's things.
>After a few days they start to think they ARE the thing they're stuck to.
>You might be wondering just how they got stuck.
>It's because Horses are made out of glue.

>>28122002
>Anon is used to throwing exceptions left and right
>To a unicorn casting, catching a nullref feels like when you take are going up the stairs and expect another step - but there is none
>cue Spellcaster Scrunching S1567: invoking non-bound entity

>>28122041
Computer Mare need to be silenced. Fast.

>>28122152
And with HMD, just to be sure

>>28122152
>>28122172
>"On August 9th, 2016, Anon spent three hours browsing FuraffiGYAAHAHOUCH! Not so hard!"

>>28120191
I want to rub and tickle that tum-tum until she's laughing uncontrollably, then cuddle for hours.

But she's not real, and I made myself sad now.

>>28121417
>Be Anon who just arrived in Equestria.
>First you are on a horse
>It is shiny and white, with a radiant man-
>Shiny horse just tossed you off it's back
>Fuck this horse, and fuck your arms and legs apparently.


>You are Anon, Lord of the Hospitals
>Proceed to wail on other patients with your crutches
>THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

>>28118136
Oh god I know where that is from.

>>28122282
Celestia is not an option

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>>28118347
I really like it so far. Rachel seemed a bit of a self centered bitch. The kind of girl who chooses a man that normally wouldn't appeal to her just so she can do what she wants, and use the "you'll never find someone else like me" card whenever she likes. I didn't know I needed girls getting btfo by ponies so badly. Thanks LaP. I always loved how you write Celestia, so I have high expectations. I'm sure you won't disappoint.

>>28119392
This hurts. A lot.

>>28119331
>wasting posts
You have INFINITE posts anon, you could shitpost until the end of time and it still wouldn't matter.

>>28120483
>"Mac, what are the odds of you ever needing it? If a mare holds a gun to your head and demands that you let her rape you, just pull off those kung-fu moves that EVERYPONY knows, or take out that big bulky taser that doesn't work sometimes! Why don't you just on a pair of fake teats, you bucking gender traiter!"
>Mac learned that day that stallion's lives only mattered when he didn't step out of line with the stallionist's narrative.

>>28120567
>>28120577

>Little Orphan Annie shows up in Griffinstone

>>28122267
>Be Anon in your hospital castle.
>Finally drove out the last of the holdouts, childhorses from the childhorse ward.
>They fought valiantly but were no match for your dominion over the (now heavily modified) halon system.
>When in doubt, gas 'em out.

>Be Princess Celestia again.
>You done goofed.
>The foreign colt seems to have gotten scared of the ponies in the hospital and barricaded himself in.
>The glimpses you can get through the windows of him make it clear he is still injured, though thankfully the emergency surgery has stabilized his condition.
>He's been surprisingly effective at blocking up the entrances and herding your ponies away from himself.
>It's only to be expected when his first meeting with a pony was what you did.
>You're going to have to mare up and go talk to him yourself.
>If you can convince him that this was all an accident, maybe he'll calm down and let the doctors treat him.
>You charge up your magic and tele
>port inside, choosing one of the smaller rooms on the same floor as him as your destination.
>You feel a bit dizzy after that.
>Deep breaths, gotta help that colt and fix this mess.
>Must need to practice a bit more often.
>You've been letting your guards carry..
>you..
>around..
>too..
>You hit the ground, unconscious.

>>28120700
>software engineer
Programmer here
Calling us a software engineer feels like you're taking pity on us. Like how garbage men are called "civil engineers" or whatever.

>>28121576
>Knows not to trust changelings
>This is because they successfully duped her 5 times in trade deals and peace treaties and it took her 200 years to learn

>>28122041
>Underwear mare: "You don't wash me enough. I love that."

>>28122505
>gas Celestia out with hydrogen based gas
>something something irony

>Anon buys Oculus rift
>Uses it in bathtub for impure reasons
>Propeller accident ensues
>Arrive innaquestria
>Thinks he's in the freaking Maretrix
>Painful autism ensues

>"Sister, Anon is on the roof of the castpe again in his leather fetish gear."
>Anon jumps.
>Everybody falls the first 15 times.
>Ropes Moondancer in as his qt sidekick against the machines

>>28122629
>not marechines

Dammit I fail.

So, who else here wants to beat the proverbial shit out of writers who seem to live and breath run-on sentences?

>>28122796
I kinda want to deliberately use run-on sentences for giggles now, thanks to your comment about run-on sentences.
Sometimes it gets hard to keep going though, does anyone have tips on how to ensure my run-on sentences don't lose steam and fall apart too quickly?
Seriously, just look at this rather unimpressive display where I can hardly go twenty-five words before the sentence breaks apart and I have to start another one in some kind of vain attempt to be an adequate writer so that I do not bring disappointment to those who read what I wrote.
Actually I think I would be sort of interested in reading some green where run-on sentences are deliberately overused as a stylistic choice because it's not something I've come across before and would likely find to be novel and amusing for at least the first short while that I read said aforementioned run-on story.
I'm not going so far as to wish violence upon a writer I've not been wronged by, but I get the sentiment. If you're not doing it deliberately, bad formatting can ruin a work.

>>28122629
>Thinking a halon system can only dispense halon
>Implying hospitals don't have a wide range of FUN chemicals including lots of bottled oxygen and nitrogen
The thing about a fire suppression system is that its more like a series of tubes.
I was implying hypoxia in the thing I wrote, at the level where unconsciousness occurs but not death.
Always remember your respirator, kids.

>>28122506
I thought Civil Engineers did things like arranging waterworks and road/traffic systems

>>28122846
Sometimes people call utility workers "civil engineers"
Sometimes people call coders "software engineers"
Shit happens

>Applejack goes blind in a tragic apple accident
>Has to rely on close friend Anon for most things
>Can still buck trees if she's lined up, but getting to the tree in the first place is half the problem
>Has to deal with her pride being damaged now that she has to rely on a stallion for really basic things
>Has to deal with ponies (mostly colts) talking about her behind her back

>>28122846
Another sort of thing to add to the grammar-injury list:
>"Don't do that you're not supposed to do that"
That really wrinkles my sprinkles. It's like, how can you not tell that sounds bad?

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Durnk rgre (kinda?) request
"Daring Do trying to infiltrate the alien temple she found..."

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>Anon goes shopping during estrus
>Pones warn Anon and beg him not to go
>Anon laughs and says that ponies wouldn't find him attractive, even during the part of the year where they'd fuck just about anything with a penis
>Ponies worry Anon has body positivity issues
>"Why is he always so sure that nopony would ever love him?"
>Ponies try to speak positively to him, accidentally calling him fat and useless in their efforts
>"C'mon Anon, all sizes are beautiful! You'll find a mare who'll love to nuzzle that pouch of yours."
>"Anon, some stallions just aren't meant to be super successful, and that's okay. One day a mare will come around and she'll see that nice garden you work on, and she'll ignore all the clothes and garbage you have on the floor."
>Anon is full of bad feels

>>28123265
>>Ponies try to speak positively to him, accidentally calling him fat and useless in their efforts
Sounds like he's onto something, then.

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>>28123251
"...with Anon having her arrested for breaking into his house and trying to steal his silverware."
Why it reminds me of Wet Bandit? I should probably continue her...

>>28123081
>tfw you'll never see cripple-mare continuation
Thank you for reminding

>>28123274
Anon's cookies are a sought after prize across all equestria. He has mares trying to woo him, colts trying to be his BFF to get them. Bakers are even trying to find and steal the recipie. The princesses have decided to hire an expert at rare object retrieval to get some for them. And thus, Daring finds herself in "The Lair of the Apelien"

>>28123251
>>28123274
Raider of the Lost Cookies.

>>28123317
And the secret to anons cookies? Love.

>link related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=besekb8f664

Forgot to add. Only
>Bon-Bon leaping onto a (bad girl/criminal/whatever) patrol pony from behind, a garotte in her hooves.
>Mares presenting their tuft to Anon in an attempt to seduce him
are left (No Bombshell 'cause don't wanna make lewd on paper, we all seen how derped it ended in the last time. I'll wait 'till I fix\change my tablet *sniff*). So that means: what to draw next?

>>28123616
oh man oh jeez oh man oh jeez this is too much pressure
Mares staring in disbelief as Anon hugs Pinkie Pie. "But... but she's so flabby! A-and her tuft is so small!"
Please and thank you, Pencil-sama

>>28123616
Great job so far.

>>28123669
This. Thank you for contributing, Pencil. You're a real cool guy.

>>28123616
Cherry and Stormy laughing at Shining who is being told to thrust by MH Anon.

>>28123616
Anon rubbing Luna's and Celestia's pregnant tummies.

>>28122038
>You can make it RGRE tho
Nah.

>>28122506
Garbage men aren't civil engineers. Civil engineers do shit like bridged and shit. Civil engineering is a legitimate field of engineering.

Also programmers are computer scientists not software engineers. Comp sci is a real field but software engineering is a lie.

Software engineers are neither engineers, nor are they programmers. The end goal of a software engineer is to lead a development team, not actually do any work. Also software engineers aren't taught any real programming skills and are often taught methods and tasks that hare genuinely harmful to the industry. Like object oriented programming or >java

Thankfully, in the modern world of >no jobs and degrees being worthless, software engineers cannot spread the poison much longer.

>>28123616
Anon getting a massage from a flustered spa mare

>>28123844
yes this

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>>28123265
More darling~

>>28123251
Damm....

>>28123844
>Flustered Anon getting a massage from spa pone

>>28123265
>"Here's your change, Anon."
"Thanks, Rose."
>"Have a nice day."
"You too."
>Caramel bursts out of the nearby hedges and hugs you around the legs.
>"Oh, Anon, sweetie!" he wails, wiping his tears (and other crying fluids) on your pants
>"Don't fret, Anon! She means nothing to you; nothing!"
>Caramel makes it sound like somebody just got caught cheating on somebody else's spouse, and you're somehow involved in it.
>Caramel climbs up your pant legs like a kitten and crawls into your arms, nudging your purchases aside.
>Once in proper cuddling position, he throws his arms around your neck and nuzzles the SHIT out of your cheek.
>"Anon, Anon! You're beautiful in your own way; please d-don't cruh-cry!"
>Caramel sobs into your arms as you try to ignore the gathering crowd.

>>28124154
kek
what

>>28124154
Huh.

>>28124164
Estrus season. If a mare isn't trying to jump your bones, you have to be pretty repulsive. Caramel tries to comfort Anon on the issue, while his coltish wails draw in a crowd of mares.

>>28124154
Caramel you dumbass, what the hell are you talking about this time?

>>28124154
>A voice from the crowd jerks Caramel from his... episode.
>"Take him to a spa!"
>Caramel lifts his head from your shoulder and gasps, cupping his cheeks with his hooves.
>"What a wonderful idea!"
>He grips your face with his hooves and smiles for the first time.
>"Anon, let's spoil you with a deluxe package! A hooficure, a mane-cut, and a massage!"
>He wriggles around like a cat until you put him down, and two of you shoulder your way through the crowd of small, horny lady-pones.
>You, of course, have no intention of going to the spa; you're going to play off some injury or pretend that you have an appointment and then pay the spa mares to keep Caramel occupied for a couple of hours.
>You're a busy man, after all.
>Some anonymous mare speaks up.
>"Take me with you!"
>Caramel rears up and wraps a hoof around one of your legs and uses the other hoof to address the crowd."
>"H-hey! Shut up, you pigs! Me an' Anon here are going to treat ourselves and I'm not gonna let any of you ruin it for either of us!"
>Another voice from the crowd pops up.
>"Forget the monkey; come here and /I'll/ give /you/ a nice rub-down!"
>The crowd of mares chuckle and jeer appreciatively.
>Caramel gasps and hugs your leg tight, tearing up again.
>"A-Anon, no! Don't listen to her!"

----5 minutes later----
>You walk through the doors of the spa, much to the delight of the spa ponies.
>This is because you have a male in your arms for them to sex up at some point during the massage.
>Caramel hasn't stopped crying this entire time.
>"You are b-beautiful in e'ery single way! Words can' b-bring you doowwwn~"
>You didn't even want to fuck these ponies from the beginning.

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>>28122267

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PROMPT IDEA
>Anon in innocent RGRE
>Anon once off-handedly mentions he was in an abusive relationship.
>Pones react by trying to comfort Anon even though he is already completely over it and never really dwelled on the abuse, minor as it was.
>Time passes and anon enters into relationship/herd.
>One night before sex Anon asks that his partner fulfill his fetish.
>Femdom (how extreme is up to you).
>Pony/Ponies think this is some form of psychological trauma manifesting. Colts are for cuddles and gentle loving after all.
>Anon must convince his mare(s) to accept his sanity, call him a bitch, and then sit on his face.


pic unrelated.

>>28124455
Careful there with the f-word, dubs. Half this thread thinks that rape is a form of femdom, so mentioning it straight out is some pretty risky business.

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>>28124455
>Femdom

>>28124526
Called it. Prepare for the oncoming autistic shitstorm, dubs. You brought it onto yourself by mentioning the magic "no-no" word.

>>28124455
That word is trouble.

>>28124455
Back to SiM with you maggot. Stop polluting other threads with your shit.

>>28124455
Thanks, Anon. Now the next 50 posts will be autists screeching like children. I didn't want posters to discuss reversed gender roles anyway.

SO ANYWAY if we can be adults for three minutes

>Anon works at Sweet Apple Acres
>He's there because Mayor Mare's cracking down on sexism and has introduced gender quotas; aka curing sexism by favouring one sex over the other
>His job description includes apple-collecting, but all he really does is haul baskets (if his laundry duties are fulfilled)
>Nobody other than Apple Bloom believes that he can be a valuable, productive member of the team
>With the help of a large rubber mallet, Anon clears the west field all by himself (under Apple Bloom's supervision)
>The family praises Apple Bloom for the good work, and nothing she says will convince them that Anon did the tree bucking
>Anon doesn't care; he gets paid the same amount either way, he gets some exercise, and Apple Bloom gets the respect of a proper Apple mare.

>>28124316
poor anon

maybe he could join up with an airship crew and travel the world

>>28123748
Seconded.

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>>28123748
Be still my heart.

>>28124588
so Yoohoo story over at this thread then?
>>28058614

>>28124532
I really don't get this.

>>28124602
oh shit

i am interest

>>28123748
Thirded/fourthed

>>28124602
As long as Steel Sanctuary was a thing, no. The Tech thread is just a group of smartasses writing power fantasies.

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>>28124586
Applebloom herd of doom when? Ignore the no hooves part.

>>28124613
People on /mlp/ (especially in this thread) react very poorly when someone says the word "femdom"

>>28124634
>No hooves

>>28123616
>>Bon-Bon leaping onto a (bad girl/criminal/whatever) patrol pony from behind, a garotte in her hooves.
>mfw my request is in the pipeline and I have no face

>>28124634
>Apple Bloom teams up with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle to convince Applejack, Mac, and Granny Smith that Anon is the one who's bucking those trees
>The adults don't stop and watch Anon do his business/Apple Bloom supposedly buck the trees because shut up
>They talk to Anon and try to learn all about him so that they can put up a better argument than "he's a big strong alien thing and he's pretty cool for a colt"
>CMC's family allows them to spend time with a strange man b/c RGRE and they think it's sweet that the nice foal-less stallion down the street is taking care of a bunch of fillies
>Story could go either way, with Anon becoming a father figure or going the original route of the fillies getting a crush on Anon and trying to herd with him

>>28123764
>> Also software engineers aren't taught any real programming skills and are often taught methods and tasks that hare genuinely harmful to the industry. Like object oriented programming or >java

How is your lean startup doing? Upset any industries lately?

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>>28124640
>femdom