RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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First for needs more catbird.

When are we finally going to stop pretending and include dank worldbuilding as one of our founding principles?

>>27981058
>>27981067
>>27981076
>>27981086
>>27981093
>>27981100
Reposting story in case all y'all didn't see it last thread. Have a nice day, now. Can't currently post the entire thing because I'm on my phone and my laptop decided to die out of nowhere.

>>27982404
>Speaking of pics, does anyone still have the one of the kangaroo saying "Fuck off we're full" and the one where they drew me?
I had them saved but i lost them.

i want this too

>>27982475
it was good, sis.

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>>27982475
It's good, keep writing more of it.
>>27982487
We should all just dump all the RGR pics we each have.
I'll start.

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>>27982555

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>>27982563

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>>27982570

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>>27982570

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>>27982575

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>>27982582

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>>27982599

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>>27982582
now just repostan ones i found in the last thread

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>>27982610

>>27982599
This artfag posted one of Twilight calling Anon a nigger. I have it on my computer, but it's buried in the thousands of images I have.

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>>27982633

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>>27982633
>tfw kurwa Queen Taco is not with us anymore

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>>27982677

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>>27982683

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>>27982690

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>>27982695

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>>27982696

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>>27982843

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>>27982860
How did I not have this before?

>>27982860
That's it, I'm spent
>>27982878
getting old, Dad.

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>>27982878
>obligatory "pregnant Dash is Karlsson" webm

>>27982919
>obligatory
I don't think I've seen that webm posted here in my life.
how's life in sweden?

>>27982919

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o7M4WbIM3I

>>27982964
It's a Russian cartoon

>>27982985

Karlsson on the Roof is a character created by Swedish writer Astrid Lindgren.
The character became popular in Russia though.

>>27982985
Don't act up, Saddellite.
I'll have you know, I was involved in multiple raids on Al-Qatie and I have over three hundred confirmed kills.

>>27983004
How couldn't he? After all, he is a handsome, smart, moderately chubby man in his prime!

Pinkie as a chad
Rarity as the straight 'gay' bestie
Flutters as a tuft beard weeb
Twilight as a pudgy nerd
Rainbow as the /fit/ marelet

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>>27983274
>Applejack as the neighbor who is only ever seen behind a fence.

>>27983274
>Fluttershy writes anime fanfiction about her and "Anon-chan"
>In her stories Anon is a shy, delicate flower who falls in love with Fluttershy and tearfully confesses his love for her
>Fluttershy cries herself to sleep whenever she writes these fanfictions

>>27983461
>Even though she is in a herd with Anon.

>>27983461
>Anon walks by one night while hunting and hears this.
>Then goes and cheeks on her.
>Sees his little Flutterbutter crying when she answers the door, then sweeps her off her feet and fucks her till she sleeps in his arms.
Anon then goes to feed the bear, then goes to sleep with Fluttershy.

>>27983481
Checks*

>>27983483
*cheeky-breeks

>>27983481
>Anon wakes Fluttershy up by fucking her awake
>Ponies have a bizarre sense of romance and intimacy (read: belly rubs, gift flowers being food, physical affection being common), so this is considered super romantic
>Anon just wanted to fuck Fluttershy

>>27983481
>Anon and his house arrive in equestria
>A ways outside ponyville, close enough you can see one from the other
>This isn't all that's happened though
>Anon arriving really fucked with magic and now there are magical anomalies all through the region surrounding his house
>The Everfree was a mere Fukushima to his Chernobyl
>Some ponies try to enter to reach the building in the middle of the affected region.
>None manage to make it that far.
>Entry into this magical "Hot-zone" is restricted
>Fluttershy's house is right at the edge of the exclusion zone
>She wonders what the minotaur stallion she's seen roaming the wastes is like

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>>27983565
I like that idea.

>>27983590
You just want to see STALKER pons get eviscerated by clouds of absolutely sharp 2d portals, cutting you as they fly past like the horrific rings of death they are.
You only care because you lust for that frantic clicking of the magic detector forboding that their day is about to be ruined by gravity deciding to take a break.
I bet what interests you is some poor fool going out on their own to find the rumored "gentleman of the zone" but only finding their doom, an eruption of wild magic turning half their body into that of a foal and leaving them futilely trying to drag themselves to safety.
Your sick mind just can't stop thinking about what those grotesquely mutated creatures, if you could call all of them creatures, would do to anypony unlucky enough to run into them.
I bet you stay up at night wondering what dark horrors of magic could lie in that building in the center.

>>27983655
>Meanwhile, Anon takes a sip of his tea and opens a dog-eared book, settling in for the night.

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>>27983488
>>27983565
>*cheeky-breeks
...

>>27983305
Lel

>>27983655
yeah I don't understand any of that.

I just liked the idea.

>>27982860
>That Cutie Mark placement.
Please stop..

>>27984009
Obviously worst princess would come down with a case of cutie mark wandering, one of the worst pony STD's

>>27983984
It was meant to be more of the thing you liked
>>27984050
Pony STDs are much more fun than human ones
Well, they're certainly more fun for those watching.

>>27984050
A displaced cutie mark is one of the root causes of all the pathologies in ponies.

>>27984082
Twilight's cutiemark is actually upside down, but her mareliness prevents her from getting it fixed.

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>>27984009
Better?

>>27984149
Stigmal torsion is no joke. If you feel that your cutie mark has been twisted - seek medical attention immediately, mareliness be damned.

>>27983305
>Hey Big Mac, what you doing over there?
>Just squeezing my apples Anon

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>>27984223
Listen to the nurse.

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>>27984223
>mfw my mind immediately thought of twisted ovaries

>>27984649
Hey now, calm down.
Don't get your fallopian tubes in a twist.

>>27984630
>Horses are magical and need magic to heal.
>Friendship is magic.
>Hence horse nurses being higher in rank than horse doctors at horsepitals.
>Proper bedside manner actually has a tremendous impact on everything.

>>27984649
Just don't think about mammary torsion

>>27984223
>>27984149

>Twilight is actually much stronger than we've seen in canon, but her displaced cutie mark is weakening her
>When she finally gets it fixed, her powers are practically limitless.

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>>27984889

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnayvmyploE

>>27984687
ayy

>>27984720
>mammary torsion
Is this actually a thing?

>To avoid rape, dress modestly.
>To avoid theft, own nothing.
>To avoid date, stay at home.

>>27985397
This wise sage has descended upon us mortals.

>>27985370
Not unless you have a very bad husband.

>>27985408
So a good husband would torque them titties?

>>27985397
Don't tell me not to unsheath my penis, tell mares not to rape!

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Hmm...

>>27985434
>One time there was a human who made some really bucking puns.
>I got mad at him and he managed to get me unsheath by claiming I was whore. since I was a buckin whore I raped him and now we're best friends.

>>27985536
nice english

>>27985421
a good husband knows not to twist her teats too tightly.

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>>27985550

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>>27985555
nice digits

>>27985555
>not twisting till they're black and blue

>>27985555
Teat-twisting for presiden 2016

>>27985421
>A good husband
>You can do this by placing your palm over the pony's twist and moving it in a circular motion, firmly and gently. Stimulate your pony twist for an hour, three times a day.

>>27985615
>Stimulate your pony twist for an hour
>Stimulate your pony's twist for an hour
Goddamit.

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>>27985615
>Stimulate your pony twist for an hour, three times a day.

YETH PLEATH!

>>27985626
so is that like
slang for her vag or something

>>27985651
If you want to try it, gently rub or roll your nipples. Massage the darker area around your nipple

This fucking thread

Teats. Y'all mean "teats", not "twist".

>>27985748
>not stimulating your pony's twist

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>>27985783
Aww.

>>27986110
Twist has teats to twist, though. That's like double teat-twisting for her, the lucky filly.

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>Be Twi...
>Be Twili...
>Be the purple one...
>You had the horn and wings...
>Books...
>You liked books too...
>And you were a princess...
>You were that one...
>Yeah...
>You felt lightheaded as you draped yourself over Anonymous, to tired to even hold yourself up
>You were out of breath, your back legs hurt like a motherbucker
>Sweat covered your body and your marehood ached in the most wonderful way
>You had just cum
>But this wasn't an ordinary orgasm that you had just received
>This wasn't the kind of cum that you'd give yourself when you were alone in your bedroom and Spike was in bed or off doing whatever dragons did
>The orgasm that you just had had been the result of somepony else doing all of the work for you
>You didn't stimulate yourself in anyway the entire time
>And you whoo boy...
>It was a HECK of a lot different from what you're used to
>You had been able to feel your pleasure, which felt far rawer than you had ever felt before, rise gradually and slowly
>Your body had started twitching, all rational thought had left you, even breathing had become difficult
>You started making noises despite yourself, you had been able to hear the pounding of your heart as clear as day
>Sights, smells, everything felt new and different
>And then it had hit you: your orgasm
>The raw pleasure, the way that your marehood twitched and milked at nothing, the sound of Anon's heart pumping as you pressed your face against his neck and shoulder, his smell, the way that you moaned as his fingers danced across your muscles...
>A hoof or a dildo had nothing on it
>They weren't even close
"H-Hah~"
>You twitched as Anon, breathing almost as hard as you, continued to toy with your wings even as the last dregs of your orgasm finally left you
>It wasn't anything too overwhelming, he was just lightly tracing a finger up and down your back, but his touch still made you shiver
>You were still sensitive; your wings, your marehood
>Everything felt tender and delicate

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>>27986200
muh waif

>>27986200
And here we go. My body is ready for moar.

>>27986200
>A quiet whimper escaped your throat as you nosed Anon's collarbone, your wings twitching and flapping under teasing
>While you weren't against getting another wingjob, far from it, you were going to need a minute or two to--
"Hmm~"
>One of your legs twitched as Anon's finger grazed your wing joint
>It was a light touch, so light that you could have imagined it, but it made you bite your lip all the same
>Your eyes widened slightly as you felt that finger go up and up until it was teasing your main flight muscles
"A-Aha~"
>Your hips bucked, and you nearly screamed as your soaked groin slapped against his lower stomach
>You needed to say something
>If Anon didn't stop it with those hands of his he was going to make you cum again
>The feeling of his cum on your flank, the salty taste of his sweat on your lips each time that you kissed his neck, his light touches
>He was goin--
"Eep!"
>Your eyes, which were already as wide as could be, nearly bugged out of your head as you felt something slide up your flank
>Was that...
>...
>Was that a tongue?!
>You gasped again as Anon let you a happy moan, nearly throwing you off of his lap as his hips gave a buck of their own
>Why--
>Whatthebuckisthat?!
>Now you could feel another something dragging itself up your cum-covered flank, dangerously close to your cutiemark
>...
>Those were tongues weren't they?!
>You might have never felt a tongue against your b-butt but you were pretty sure that the feeling was one of those things that you instantly knew!
>Those were tongues!
>Tongues were licking you!
>And not only were they licking you, they were picking your BUTT!
>...
>Who the heck would be...
>...
>Oh my gosh...
>Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh...
>Slowly, you snuck a look over your wither
>A whine escaped your lips at what you saw
>You were right: the things that were cleaning the c-cum off of your butt was a pair of tongues
>Tongues that belonged to Rarity and Pinkie Pie

ITS LAP

>>27986271
>...
>Whatthebuckarethosefill--
>You twitched as Rarity's tongue traced your cutiemark, the fashionista humming happily as she did it
>Pinkie, who was on your left side, was busying herself by dragging her long, thick pink tongue over your tail dock
>Your ears pinned themselves against your skull as you felt her hot breath wash over your marehood
>kdjngdkfjndkjn!
>Biting your lip HARD so that you wouldn't make any noise, you immediately turned back around and buried your muzzle into the nape of Anon's neck so you wouldn't have to look at the surreal scene behind you
>You shut your eyes nice and tight, trying to ignore the pounding heart in your chest
>This wasn't real
>This was some trick
>Your mind was playing tricks on you
>You had cum too hard and now the sudden flood of endorphins was making you loopy
>Yeah... that was--
>"Eep!"
>You jumped as you felt Rarity nip your rump
>THAT WAS REAL!
>YOU FELT THAT!
>YOU BUCKING FELT THAT!
>TEETH JUST SUNK INTO YOUR BUTT!
>THEY CAUSED THE SENSATION OF PAIN THAT YOU'RE NOW FEELING!
>...
>Who...
>What...
>WHY...
>WHY THE HECK ARE THEY DOING THAT?!
>WHY ARE PINKIE AND RARITY, TWO OF THE BEST FRIENDS THAT A MARE COULD ASK FOR, LICKING THE CUM OFF YOUR FLANK LIKE IT WAS THEIR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM?!
>...
>THAT WAS GAY!
>AND YOU WEREN'T GAY!
>... Even though those tongues felt really nice agains--
>NO!
>NOPE!
>YOU'RE STRAIGHT!
>AS STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW!
>MOM WASN'T RIGHT!
>A STALLION HAD JUST LET YOU CUM ALL OVER HIM SO THERE'S NO WAY THAT YOU COULD BE GAY!
>...
>SHE WASN'T RIGHT DANGIT!
>Despite yourself, you could feel your wings stiffening from the tongue-bathing that you were getting
>You tried to ignore it, firmly clamping your tail down and praying that the sensation would go away, but it just didn't stop
>Anon had cum ALL over you
>He had cum not only on your flank but your lower back too, VERY close to your wings, so it took MINUTES for Rarity and Pinkie to c-clean you

>>27986324
>You tried to hold completely still and act like you were asleep but you found yourself squirming
>The heat in between your legs, which had died down after the life-changing cum that you just had, came on once more
>You could feel a fresh wetness as you tried to rub your back legs together, and the scent of your musk was starting to get stronger
>You'renotgayouy'renotgaymomwasn'trightmomwasn'trightmomwasn'trightm--
"O-oh~"
>You felt a pair of soft, supple lips kiss your cutiemark
>Your legs twitched at the sensation, electricity shooting up your body as your back ached
>Your eyelids flew open before they slowly began to close
>NOTGAYNOTGAYNOTBUCKINGGAYCELESTIADAMMIT!
>You whined, holding Anon as close as you could as a pair of giggles erupted from behind you
>Your ears perked up
>You could hear Pinkie and Rarity whispering to each other
>Cracking open your eyes you focused in on it
>"-- And besides,Twilight and I had our own one-on-one time with Anonymous, Pinkie dear."
"Eep!"
>You began to flail as an unseen force grabbed you and lifted you into the air
>"Why don't you have some fun yourself?"
>Anon's stalliohhood slapped wetly against your rump as you were lifted off of his lap and off the couch
>"Are you sure Rarity? We can--"
>"Ah ah, I won't hear it, darling. Now get up there and enjoy yourself."
>BAD TOUCH!
>BAD TOUCH!
>YOU NEEDED AN ADULT!
>AN ADULT!
>Just as your rump touched the ground a pair of hooves wrapped around your chest
>A squeak escaped your lips before you managed to collect yourself
"H-Hey! J-Just wait a s-second--"
>Rarity, her mascara running and cum all over her face, pulled you against her with a great big smile
>"I can assure you that Twilight and I will enjoy the show~" she said, nuzzling your cheek
>You winced as you felt the cum on her face stain your fur
>OhsweetCelestiawhatthehayisthisfillydoingohlawrd
>Your eyes darted around
>You could see Pinkie looking at the two of you, her face just as much of a mess as Rarity's

>>27986375
>You could see Anon, with his head rolling and his cock standing high and glistening in the sunlight
>And R-Rarity...
>You tried to slow your pounding heart and close your fully extended wings but you couldn't
>Now hyperventilating, you did your best to squirm in Rarity's clutches
>You n-needed to say something
>M-Momma didn't raise no c-carpet-muncher
"R-Rarity, wha--"
>Your breathing hitched as the fashionista kissed your brow, holding you even closer as she gave Pinkie a wink
>"Go on dear. I'm positive that Anonymous needs it just as much as you."
>Pinkie bit her lip as she looked between you two and Anon's stallionhood
>You could see that she was trying to hold herself back as she wiggled in place, her tail sporadically twitching
>She was trying so, so hard not to let her instincts get the better of her
>"If you're sure...."
>"I'm absolutely posi--"
>Before Rarity could finish Pinkie's willpower snapped
>With a growl, the pink party pony leapt into the air
>Through a feat of gymnastics that would be impossible for anypony else, she cleared Anonymous's cock and landed in his lap in such a way that the throbbing, leaking pole was nestled nicely between her butt cheeks
>Anon groaned as Pinkie growled, wrapping her hooves around his neck and roughly pulling him into a kiss and--
>"Don't think that I've forgotten you, Twilight dear~"
>You shivered as Rarity's hot, moist breath washed over your ear
>"From what I've heard earth pony stamina is as the tales say."
>Your back legs wetly slapped together as she nipped at your ear
>"Pinkie and Anonymous are going to be busy... entertaining each other for some time I fear."
>Your nostrils flared
>You could smell Rarity
>The flowery, sweet lingering scent of her perfume, the sharp, musky scent of her lust
>You could also feel how warm and soft her body felt against you
>...
>Why did she feel so SOFT...
>A hoof slowly traveled down your side

>>27986446
>Your wings flapped as Rarity once again giggled, letting the tip of her hoof trace your cutiemark
>Thoughts of escaping had now completely fled you
>You couldn't think of anything
>There was only that softness, that scent, and that warmth
"R-Rar..."
>Another tender, intimate peck, this time on the neck, silenced you
>"Shush, It's alright dear. Just watch Pinkamena and Anonymous while I see to you~"
"I-I'm not, I c-can't, do--"
>You gasped as the hoof that was teasing your cutiemark found itself resting right above your rock-hard teats
>Your back legs tried to close, but a simply spell from Rarity kept them nice and open
>"It's alright dear. It's alright~"
>As the hoof SLOWLY made its way southward, your eyes snapped back toward the couch
>Pinkie was grinding herself against Anonymous's length noisily
>You watched entranced as Pinkie's rump jiggled and wobbled and clapped against Anonymous's lap, her earth pony behind threatening to swallow up even Anon's massive member
>Anon was groaning, his fingers digging into her flank as she held him close, whispering sweet nothings into his ear
>Your nostrils flared again
>You could smell their sweat, the smell of their arousals mixing in the air
>"Hmm~ Is that a sight to see?" Rarity cooed
>Your body tensed as you felt her hooffnskfjnskjfndkjfndlj...
>"You know, I'm beginning to wonder if Pinkie will be able to take all of him," the fashionista continued casually as her hoof began to expertly tease some very wet and VERY sensitive areas
"H-Hah~ Wha, an..."
>"Do you see how she's lifting herself higher and higher each time? I think she means to take all of him in one go. I myself would have preferred to ease into it but you know Pinkie."
>Your eyes slowly began to close as another kiss graced your neck
>The little mantra that you had been saying over and over in your head seemed to get quieter and quieter with each kiss, each touch, each leg-quivering stroke

>>27986518
>"If I were you I'd try to keep my eyes open, darling. It appears that the show is about to begin~"
>Though she was making it DIFFICULT you forced yourself to open your eyes
>Pinkie had risen herself up as high as she could
>You could see that she was using the tip of Anon's cock to tease her marehood, forcing apart her lips and exposing the bright pink inside to the whole world
>You could see Anon twitching with each grind as he bucked his hips
>If he had just the right angle you knew that he'd sink into Pinkie with ease
>...
>That or he's tear her in half
>You had honestly no idea, but what you did know was that you kind of wanted to see it happen
>...
>Mom was right, wasn't she?
>Anon groaned as Pinkie raised herself just a bit higher, her tail waggi--
>All of the sudden Pinkie's body tensed
>Her tail stood ramrod stiff, her ears began wiggling, and her nose scrunched up
>"EVERYPONYFORTHEMSELVES!"
>With no warning, before any of you could react, Pinkie launched herself out of Anon's lap and scrambled behind the couch
>...
>What the heck was she--
>An earsplitting war cry sprung up behind you
>"DOWN WITH THE MATRIARCHY!"
>"BUCK MARES!"
>"PIGS! PIGS!"
>Your ears perked up as you heard something being thrown toward you
>Thinking fast, you yanked Rarity to the ground as something big and wh...
>...
>...Princess Celestia?
>...
>They threw Princess Celestia at you?
>THEY THREW PRINCESS CELESTIA AT YOU?!
"PRINCESS! WHA--"
>Your eyes widened when you noticed her trajectory
>Oh holy horse apples she was going to land right on top of An--
>Anon let out a sound that was a mixture of a cat's screech and the noise that Mr. Bear had made when a rock had landed on his paw as Celestia landed right on his lap
>His cock, still hard and wet and throbbing, disappeared in between her cheeks
>You teacher let out a quiet "omhp" as her rump loudly slapped against his lap and her buttcheeks clapped together
>"Dofvndfjndljdndfkjbvdkfjbdkjbfdkjbfkdbjkjbdk!"

>>27986649
His penis isn't broke is it? Please tell me it's not.

>>27986705
Those giant marshmallows Celestia calls an ass, oh no. He just planted a flag in the motherland. Celestia might be in a coma though from the edging.

>>27986649
>The back of the couch snapped in half as Anon jerked backward, his eyes crossing and his toes curling
>"MOTHERFUCKERING CUNT!"
>Your old teacher, looking a little tired and sweaty but no more worse for wear, smiled
>"Well, good afternoon to you too, Anonymous," she said with a teasing wiggle
>"FOR THE BROTHERHOOD!"
>Ohshit!
>You were just able to pick your head up before Caramel hopped over you
>The stallion had a completely crazed look in his eyes as he charged toward an unsuspecting Anon
>Firmly clasped in his mouth was a barbell
>He had it pointed like a lance toward Anon's he--
>ANON!
"ANON!"
>The world seemed to slow as Caramel swung the metal pole in his mouth as hard as he could
>Anon's eyes were still crossed and half-lidded
>He wasn't prepared
>He wasn't ready to move out of the way
>He was going to get hit!
>Out of the corner of your eye you could see your teacher raise an eyebrow
>"Oh my," you heard her say as she leaned away slightly
>She wasn't going to help the human
>She was going to let him take the hit
>...
>No...
>Nonononononononononono...
>Get up Twilight, get up!
>Anon was going to get REALLY hurt if that thing hit him!
>You needed to get up!
>There might still be a chance to save him!
>With a cry, You launched yourself off of the ground
>With a powerful flap of your wings your soared toward the couch
>But you weren't ready for flight
>You wings were still stiff from Rarity
>Too stiff to flap properly
"Ano--"
>You slammed into the dirt muzzle first, your back legs kicking
>Oh horse ap--
CLANG!
>Though you now had a mouthful of dirt for your efforts, you could see the shaft of the barbell quiver as the end of it SLAMMED into Anon's cheek, right under his eye
>The sound of the collusion rang out loud and clear as Caramel leaned into his swing, doing all that he could to maximize it's power
>There was a smile on his face as Anon's head jerked to the side a little
>But then the momentum suddenly and completely stopped

>>27986705
>Fights against the matriarchy
>Fatally injures a fellow stallion's male phallus
Typical stallionist.

>>27986754
>Anon's eyes snapped to Caramel as the barbell creaked
>Though they had been hazy you watched as they instantly focused on the earth pony
>He said nothing, he didn't make a noise, he didn't even move; he just stared
>You, with your face in the dirt and your wings still stiff from what Rarity did to you, watched as Anon reached up and grabbed the end of the bar
>Each finger slowly wrapped around the thick, fat end
>By now the smile on Caramel's face was gone
>With the bar still in his mouth he took a half-step back
>You could see the muscles in his neck bulging as he tried to pull the barbell away
>He grunted and growled, straining as hard as he could, but he didn't even move it an inch as Anon held it
>The human's eyes began to narrow dangerously before, with a flick of his wrist, he snapped the end of the barbell clean off, sending Caramel to the ground with a yelp
>"Bucking curd!"
>Still deathly silent, Anon lifted the bit of metal away from his face
>You could see that he now had a cut under his eye; a cut that almost immediately began to bleed
>Grunting, you forced yourself to your hooves
"Anon? Are you alright?" you asked, as worried as you've ever been in your entire life. "Do you feel okay? Do you need us to take you to the horspital? Or maybe--"
>As you continued to dabble Anon dropped the end of the barbell to the ground with a clang
>His eyes snapped away from Caramel and over your shoulder, traveling left to right
>Then, to your immense concern, he started to smile
>It wasn't a very nice smile, you instantly noticed
>There wasn't all that much joy and happiness in it
>In fact, just looking at it made the fur on the back of your neck stand on end
>It was a crazed smile, a bad smile
>The kind of smile that you wouldn't want see while walking through an alleyway
>"It looks like everyone's here," he quietly said as he picked up Celestia, who giggled at the contact, and sat her right next to him

>>27986754
Did this bitch nigger just interrupt happy time? Is he fucking suicidal?

>>27986754
I fucking hate these stallions.

>>27986799
No, he just wants some of dat monkey d for himself. And he's gonna get it.

>>27986792
Oh he is going to get eaten alive for this. I feel sorry for the jealous idiot.
>>27986806
Deeper than Pinkie or Rarity ever could.

Stallion-hater fag here

Can we get a one-shot where RGRE stallions get what they fucking deserve? I'd do almost anything for that. Thank you to lap for inspiring genuine actual anger in me.

>>27986792
>"Every single one of you..."
>Caramel's eyes were wide as he began to crawl away from the human
>You and Rarity, who had also found her way to her hooves while you weren't looking, also took a few nervous steps backward
>Anon slowly stood up, his still hard cock wetly slapping against his belly as he stood to his full height
>He looked around once again, prompting you to look behind yourself
>There were dozens of stallions standing in the street with gym equipment in hoof
>Some of them looked angry
>But many of them looked confused
>...
>How did they...
>Bones popped in Anon's shoulders as he rolled them
>You could see a trail of blood dripping down his sweat-soaked cheek now
>There was no pain or discomfort in his face, in fact, if you didn't know any better, you'd think that he was about to start laughing
>He looked excited
>Jubilated
>Jovial
>He looked...
>...
>Oh geeze...
>A bad feeling welled up in the pit of your stomach as you and Rarity took another step backward
>Caramel, still crawling, looking back at the group of stallions
>"Don't just sit there! HELP ME!" he yelled
>The stallions look at each other
>"...Caramel? Why did you hit Anon?" one of them asked. "I thought that we were going to help--"
>"HELP ME!" Caramel screeched."BUCKING HELP ME!"
>The seemed to break the stallions out of their stupor
>Many of them shook their heads, readying their weapons as they took a step forward
>"YEAH! GET THOSE SLUTS!"
>"LET'S TEACH 'EM A LESSON!"
>"MUH RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS!"
>"COM--"
>All went quiet again as a giggle escaped Anon's lips
>...
>Oh geeze...
>"You're all out of my gym," he whispered quietly, almost as if he was talking to himself. "You're all out where I can get you..."
>Still smiling, he reached over and covered Celestia's eyes with a mammoth hand
>"Close your eyes, sun horse. You're not going to want to see what's about to happen."
>Giggling, your teacher closed her eyes and covered them with her hooves as he pulled his hand away

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>>27986831
>"Alright~ I promise not to peek," she promised
>Bending down, Anon reached under the couch and pulled out... the sign... that he ripped out of... the...
>...
>Why didn't any of you take that away from him?
>...
>Why didn't any of you think that that was a good idea?
>Anon took a deep breath, looking up at the sky as he tapped one end of the sign into his free hand
>His cock throbbed mightily as he looked back down
>"Hold onto your butts, boys," he said to nopony in particular.
>"'Cause there's no breaks in this train."

>>27986831
>inb4 anon boops them and forgives them all b/c he's a beta fag

>>27986831
>inb4 cliffhanger

>>27986831
Celestia is going to feel bad when the screaming starts isn't she? Or I guess I should say the screaming stops.

>>27986849
Alright, I'm done

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>>27986849
oh shit. Those stallions must see pic related right about now.

>>27986859
punish them
PUNISH THEM

>>27986859
Bravo! Well done!

>>27986866
>You are Caramel, the incredibly fucked.
>Why is there a skeleton standing behind Anon?
>And why is he yelling at you to get inside of his bag?

>>27986859
Please end in sodomy. Righteous sodomy.

>>27986859
Don't you fucking drop the ball, LaP. Your next part of the story will make or break your career of fanfiction author.

>>27986859
Liked and subscribed

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>>27986887
Go back to colt cuddler, this is rampage territory.

Prompt:
>Apple Bloom wants Anon to be her special somepony
>Tries to imitate Applejack and be the perfect gentlemare
>Tries to carry stuff/pull carts for him, but she's too small
>Bakes a pie for him to show that she'd be a valuable addition to a herd (or something) but burns it
>Tries to cuddle Anon and be the big spoon but she can't reach her hooves around his neck because she's so small
>Everything she does makes Anon think she's cute as hell and he's largely ignorant that she's trying to be his mate

>>27987098
If you haven't read it yet and were at all interested I have a pair of stories with a similar theme in them in my pastebin.

>>27986859
Looking good as usual LaP. I'm catching up and reading part seven right now, but I'll check this one out after I'm done with the previous installment.

>>27986897
Speaking of the crippling fear of failure: the FI prologue is done in case anyone was still interested. I still need to edit it and It's like 10K words and I'm fuckin' lazy so I'll prob be posting the final version tomorrow or the next day. Until then, have fun RGREing.

>>27987188
Link please, sempai?

>>27987247
Here ya go.
http://pastebin.com/u/tANDghouls

The stories you're looking for are under 'Spaghetti and Fillies'.

>>27987269
Thanks ghouls. I'll be sure to check it out.

Continuing "It gave me goosebumps" http://pastebin.com/ivLcbi1h
---
>Living in the palace must be a dream come true, seriously, the rooms were decked out in all the fancy stuff.
>There were more pillows on the bed than you had any idea what to do with.
>Maybe Celestia had those toilets installed that spray water up the
>”Uhh I’m thirsty.”
>Your date which you left on the bed asleep was now somewhat awake and groaning about being thirsty.
>She was going to hate her life in the morning, for two different but satisfying for you, reasons.
>First the hangover was probably going to be a doozy.
>The second and very important reason that brought a very evil looking smile to your lips was a bit more heinous.
>On your way to the room you decided to take the indirect route.
>One that took you through the ballroom, where everyone saw you carrying the drunk napping mare.
>You saw flashes coming from several reporters cameras, so the image was going to hit the papers soon enough.
>Wasn’t that just… unfortunate.
>Oh this night couldn’t get any better.
>”I want water!!!”
>Heard you the first time.
>Filling up a glassful you brought it to the pushy mare, who downed it without question before collapsing back into the bed.
>Her snores confirming that she was back to her alcohol induced sleep.
>Getting undressed you slipped into bed and pulled the covers over the both of you.
>The next morning was going to be a really interesting one for her, that’s for sure.

>>27987342
>Be the Twilighest of the Sparkles.
>Princess of Friendship and reigning champion of the last Equestrian PonyClix Regionals.
>Oh yeah, you wrecked those ponies like it was a walk in the park.
>But back to why you were heading up to the guest rooms in the castle.
>Last night you gave the key to one of the rooms Princess Celestia had prepared for the guests to Anon and his date..
>To think your roommate, who became an overnight literary sensation was dating the author of one of your favorite series.
>Maybe you could ask her to sign some of them for you?
>In no time at all you stood in front of his room.
>Knocking on the door with your hoof you waited for a response.
>….
>Knocking again you listened for any sounds coming from within the room.
>Maybe they woke up earlier and went downstairs already for breakfast.
>Opening the door with some magic you peered inside to check just to be sure.
>Oh my!
>Yearling and Anon were definitely not up.
>Not up at all.
>Yearling lay curled up on Anon’s chest, her wings draped on him.
>Definitely too lewd for you.
>Should you wake them up? What was the protocol for waking up your friend in a situation like this?
>Backing up slowly you closed the door, you’d let them sleep in just a little longer.

>He's in the castle.
>The human behind all the extra work you had to endure.
>It was time finally to give him his comeuppance.
---
So there's a quick update.

>>27983565
AH NU CHEEKI BREEKI VAN DAMKE

>>27987356
Sweet.

>>27986792
>>"It looks like everyone's here," he quietly said as he picked up Celestia, who giggled at the contact, and sat her right next to him
you always write celestia so cutely
and lewdly

>>27986859
So did Anon just unwittingly form his own herd?

>>27987518
Unless he says otherwise, all mares who touch a colts privates in public are part of his herd.

>>27986859
Freaking awesome. Death is too good for Caramel.

>>27987573
As is tradition.

>>27987573
What happens if a colt touches mares privates in public

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>>27987720
May as well ask what happens if Democracy takes root in Equestria. That never happens, not even in my doujins.

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Before I head to bed, update tomorrow, 100%

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>>27987747
poor little nerd horses

>Anon often takes naps in public, mostly in the park
>4 out of 5 times Anon will wake up with a pone snuggled up to him

>>27987356
Oh shoot! I almost forgot about Goosebumps. Glad to see you're back in business with that green, friend.

>>27987493
My favourite Celestia ever is from his namesake story: Love and Powerlifting.

>Before the grinning princess could do or say anything you reached over and bopped her on the nose.
>Bitches love nose boops.
>Hey eyes crossed as she watched your finger touching your nose before she let out this adorable little sneeze that made you want to just drop ol' love slut and pet the SHIT out of sun god horse.

>>27987768
aww FUCK that's cute. It's cute enough that it makes me angry because that'll never be me.

>>27987335
Sure thing. If you do get around to it feel free to tell me what you think and if it was up your alley or not.

>>27987356
Keep it up, Heli. I'm waiting for that aggressive hatesex.

>>27987720
>>27987747
>That never happens, not even in my doujins
Beat me to it. Where's more O&O when you need it.

>>27987762
This'll be the third installment of Monster Hunter Anon, right? Haven't started reading it yet, but I'll be sure to go and find it after I finally get my own shit together.

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>>27987720
>>27987747
>tfw no unicorn stallion caressing your clit and pinching your teats from across the room

>>27987842
Fuck, that reminds me a of an RGRE story that I don't have saved. Anon works at a sandwich place and all the unicorn mares molest him with their magic. Spoiler: he catches Celestia masturbating in the storage room and jizzes into her sandwich at her request

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>>27987857
Man, why is Celestia always so kinky in rgre stories?

>>27987720
The mare feels dirty and uncomfortable, but all her friends do is high-hoof her and say how they wish they were as lucky as she was.

>>27987356
LAP, I have the biggest boner right now. Fucking whiskey dicked to all hell, but as soon as fucking carmel started swinging, oh boy.

I cant beat this one down mate, I fear this boner wont go away.

>>27987872
When you've lived 1000 years, things get boring. Especially if everyone looks up to you as a mother figure.

>>27987872
A thousands-years-old demi-goddess has done everything everywhere. Things like "modesty" and "decency" mean NOTHING to her any more. She'd fuck a stallion right in the middle of day-court if he'd let her. She'd probably still do it even if he DIDN'T let her.

Question real quick. I see art everywhere and ponies always seem to have yellow-ish tongues; Twilight especially. Is this a Thing, or what?

One more question while I'm here being a faggot. I read a fic (might have been RGRE) where ponies haven't heard of oral or anal and they think that Anon just doesn't know how to sex. Celestia teaches him and claims to have invented a bunch of sexual positions (all vaginal) and is shocked and confused when Anon tries to get her to suck his dick. The story ends when they fuck and Celestia volunteers to "teach" him some more about sex.

>>27987903
Fuck, i fucked up.
Heli you give me a rightous chub tho

>>27987791
Had that happen to me in Japan. Passed out on the train, woke up to find a schoolgirl passed out on my shoulder.

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>>27987911
So you're saying she's working out her millenia of pent up sexual frustration on an outsider?

>>27987925
This doesn't happen, anon.

She probably pickpocketed you.

>>27987929
Hands can do a lot of things hooves cant. God bless our opposable thumbs, and dexterous fingers..

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>>27987939
>adjustable vaginal penetration appendages with variable vibrating tips
"They're called hands Twilight."

>>27987935
>doesn't know about gaijin hunters
why are you on this site, specifically created for macedonian basket-weaving?

>>27987997
>gaijin hunters
You mean something blown out of proportion? I imagine this group is small enough to hardly even be considered a 'group'.

>>27987971
No, they're called hoof-spiders.

>>27988077
There sure are a lot of weird terms for hands here.

Hoof Spiders, Feelers, Grabbers, Claws, I'm sure the list goes on.

>>27988131
Pleasure machines so great Soddhartha would cum in her metaphorical pants

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>>27988144
She looks so squishy and fluffy.

>>27987356
Just have anon write a pure text version of berserk

>>27988154
>tfw I don't know if I want to cuddle with an animal or I'm just really craving human contact
I agree

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>>27988164
How dare you call pone an animal?

>>27988144
>Mares aggressively fighting against their herd mentality and cuddling instincts in order to impress Anon
Fund it

>>27988154
Look at her, she's so happy
SO FUCKING HAPPY
she's about to get cuddled for being so happy and so soft-looking.

>>27988185
Not the pone, but the description above reminds me of my dog I left back with my folks

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>>27988194
why contain it

>>27988216
>tfw your pone waifu thinks you're weird when you lick her fluffy belly
I don't think I could act rationally around something that cute.

>>27988230
I know that feel. I'd probably stick my face in her fluffy chest and not be able to keep my hands off her belly.

>>27988185
We're all animals, anon.

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>>27988307

>>27988185
>Anon knows that ponies aren't dumb animals, but their appearance along with their childish behaviour makes it so that he can't help but see them as intelligent pets
>Thinks when they resist belly rubs (in public, at least) they're just being fussy
>Carries treats in his pockets to help them calm down
>Ponies act fussy and disagreeable on purpose so that Anon will cuddle with them and give them yummy snacks
please, writefags. I need this.

>>27988307
I identify as plantkin. check your privilege you cis scum.

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>>27988675
Fussy mares destroy my heart.

>>27988744
>"Stop it, Anon!"
"Who wants a sugar cube?"
>"I'm not a foooaaaal~!"
>The mare wriggles around in your arms but you hold her tight.

>>27981664
Are you ever going to finish that Anon gets into a fight thing?

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>>27988762
>"Anon st-staaaawp, ponies are watching!"
"But you're so cuddly and soft, why would I ever stop?"
>"Please, colts are giggling at me..."

>>27988798
"I'll put you down if you eat your treat, sweetie."
>"Don-Don't call me that... Okay, alright..."
>The mare opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue.
>Finally happy, you place a single sugar cube onto er tongue, and she pulls it back into her mouth.
>She tries to look irritated but she can't help but look delighted at the sugary treat.

>>27988848
Do happy mares purr?

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Do alicorn princesses dream of foals?

>>27988980
Only magic foals, Anon

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>>27988988
Magic, you say?

>>27988980
>Celestia is seen as a foal fiddler

>>27989009
>But gets away with it because she's one of the fucking rulers of Equestria
>Electoral debate ensues.
>One party for Celestia being innocent
>One party for Celestia being guilty
>Ponies vote guilty and Luna is made full ruler of Equestria
>Community wants Celestia banished somewhere.
>Luna knows she was banished to the moon for one thousand years.
>She banishes Celestia to the sun for one thousand years.
>1k years later, Celestia never returns

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>>27988980
>>27988988
>>27988996
>>27989009
There's something deeply sad about the millenia old princesses dreaming and wishing of foals of their own.

Like they have all this wisdom and experience and a kingdom, but they're empty inside.

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>>27989044
Literally.

>>27989044
From regular Equestria views, yes. RGRE, no. Both Celestia and Luna basically don't give a damn about having offsprings and enjoys blowing all their bits on mare stuff.

>>27989049
DISCORD!

>>27989053
Anon, they're old as fuck. At some point in life every man in history has thought about having a family.
I'm sure it would be a lot worse when you live so fucking long.

>>27989053
I wouldn't say they don't care; it's not like old and/or highly responsible human men don't care about having kids.

>>27989064
>Literal billionaires caring about children

>>27989067
Caring about THEIR children, yes. This is how life works.

>>27989049
>tfw discord is Blueblood's great great great...great grandfather
>Discord being turned to Stone was the final fuck you in a very messy breakup

I don't know where I'm going with this

>>27989075
I don't either.

>>27989075
"Bluey! I'm back! Have the princesses been treating your family well? I swear, if a single ancestor sneezed and they didn't wipe it, I'll turn their manes into fart gas!"

>>27986859
>raperaperaperaperaperaperaperape

>>27987857
Here you go, fampai.
http://pastebin.com/tQmBN9SR

>>27988077
>le hands are unheard of in Equestria meme

Fucking minotaurs exist so obviously hands are already a known thing. Goddamn do you people piss me off.

>>27989271
>YOU'RE TRIGGERING ME, STOP TRIGGERING ME!

FTFY.

>>27989271
>Small town folks knowing about a different race from another country
Even if Iron Will was a thing, I don't think anybody at his speeches bothered to look up the specific terms used to address his limb.

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>>27988980
Give them some?

>>27989354
"Hey Princess. Ever thought about kids-"
>"Menopause, Anonymous. Estrogen spells weren't a thing several thousand years ago."
"...Oh."

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Anon is a good dad.

>>27989661
Anon is the Allfather.
>Since Anon is taller than them, the ponies treat him like they do celestia
>Bigger pony that is kind to you?
>"Mommy!"
>Bigger [NOT PONY BUT SMELLS GOOD] that is kind to you?
>"Daddy!"
>Ponies start trying to get MOMMY and DADDY to spend more time together.
>They don't want them to be sad from being apart.
>Anon and Celestia have to try to get out of the neverending stream of dates the ponies are setting them up on so they can get shit done.
>They don't dislike each other, they just both want to do their own things.
>The ponies seem to be starting to suspect something is off about the cardboard cutouts left as distractions.
>Negotiations are ongoing with the changelings for assistance.

>>27987912
If you pause a shot of the show where you can see a pony's tongue, they're a slightly red-shifted orange instead of being standard red.

Heart eyes.

https://derpibooru.org/1209196

>>27988768
Didn't know anyone still cared.
I'll see what I can do, job has cut heavily into my shitposting time recently.

>>27989842
Neat, I look forward to it.

>>27989311
Taking into consideration how commonly various creatures with reasonable hand-like dexterity with claws and talons show up, I doubt even small-town ponies would have such a lacking educational system as to be completely unaware of what claws/talons are, meaning the most reasonable assumption should be to liken hands to soft claws.

Then again, their educational system is at least lacking enough that they'll all get superstitious enough to lock themselves indoors when their very first zigger comes calling.

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>>27984057

>>27989722
That's cute and funny
>tfw no being All-father

>>27976396
>>27987791

I forget to threat you one time pluggo and then it's 2 days without green?
Shame on me

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>>27990148
Expert on the subject and has raised many of Anon's foals.

>>27990050
Imagine your reaction if you got a horse that has scarily, improbably flexible legs that bend in every direction that shouldn't be possible? Would the wrongness of it just elude you? Of course not.

This is what human hands are to the ponies. Yes, they know of dragons and gryphons with their claws, they know taurs and their hands, but these alien things move in all the impossible ways - as if they have a mind of their own, as if somepony just attached a pair of critters to the alien's appendages and covered it up with an illusion spell.

>>27990343
>Ponies are convinced Anon is some unknowable horror from beyond reality
>This is reinforced by all sorts of things about him
>"Those wigglers just ain't natural"
>"Those tiny eyes stare right through your soul."
>"I can't feel him with my magic"
>"Ten thousand cultists and counting can't be wrong"
"Damnit stop worshipping me and get off my property!"
>"Why does he not want to be worshipped? Being adored by thousands sounds wonderful. I bet he's trying to hide something."

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>>27990362
>The unendurable truths of who we actually are
>The excruciating and unbearable secrets of the origins of the human race
>Should never have been exhumed from their ancient entombment
>Far better to live in blissful ignorance
>Far better to be unaware

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>>27989902
Thank you, Durnk mom

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>>27984057
Why is one of her arms on her stomach. What the fuck.
I tried to fix it.

>>27990515
Sloppy artist.

>>27990515
Magical illness that she needs to get treated for when the horsepital opens up for non-emergency care in the morning.
Remember kids, be careful around unfamiliar toilet seats, they could be carrying disease!

>>27990515
Better than original, but now a little bit too far to the right.

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>>27984057
>>27990515
>support my work at patreon

Thanks y'all for the feedback on the idea. I really do appreciate it. Next update coming Sunday, should I finish writing the next big chunk.

As promised, green.

>Inhale.
>Exhale.
>Take a drink of water.
>You've done full day patrols, but even those weren't this hard; it's not even lunch and you're getting tired.
>Can't fall behind.
>Got to keep up with the others.
>"Just a little further and we'll break for lunch," Anna says, turning back to look at the group, "We'll rest and refill our waterskins then."
>You have to hold back a cheer at the thought of a break, need to save your energy.
>A very tiring fourty minutes later, and the group is brought to a halt.
>"Rest up and refill your water, I'll whip us up some lunch," Anna says heading to the wagon.
>Lining up with the others to refill your canteen, you can't help but glance at the other minotaur with your group.
>They're just standing agianst the side of the wagon, looking off into the distance.
>Your turn comes, and the water pours from the tap into your canteen, crystal clear and ice cold.
"How does...?" you start, before Cherry nudges you aside to fill her own container.
>"There's an ice crystal cooling system on the back, helps keep the water, and by extention us, cool on longer trips."
"That's impressive. Our caravans tend to use magic to keep water cool."
>"Where ponies use magic, other races like us tend to use natural or scientific means to accomplish things."
>A bowl is suddenly passed to you by her, and you take it in your magic.
>It's contents, a rather bland looking mix of nuts and dried fruits, as well as a suspicious block of something or other.
>"Make sure you eat it all, you'll need the energy," Anna says after everyone has their bowl.
>Even the other 'Tauress has hers and is eating, the bottom of her helmet moving with her jaw.
>Holding the bowl with magic, you munch on some of the fruits and nut mix, before taking a drink and lifting up the mystery bar.

>>27990835

>A sniff doesn't tell you much, so you take a tentative bite.
>The outside is actually slightly sweet and tastes slightly of milk, while the inside is a fair bit less pleasant.
"What's in this?" you ask, holding the bar for Anna to see.
>"It's a compact nutrient and energy suppliment, with a cream based coating to make it not taste as bad."
>"Don't worry, dinner will taste better, I promise," she adds, "We just don't have time to make something better right now."
>The other minotaur sets her dish back in the wagon and pulls out her lance and a smallish bag.
>From the corner of your eye, and totally not obvious staring, you observe them performing maintenance while you eat your meal.
>Sharpening the point, checking for cracks or dents.
>And oddly, a lot of poking around some holes on the front.
>They must be part of the design, they don't look like damage.
>With everyone packing up, she returns her lance to it's spot on the wagon and takes up her place at the handle.
>Still, as the group gets moving, the tiredness you felt before the break is mostly gone, replaced by energy.
~~~
"Time to set up camp for the night!" you exclaim, the ponies behind you all but collapsing.
>Their commander, Brass is able to hold fairly well, but you can see the exhaustion.
"Pitch your tents, and I'll get the fire and dinner going."
>Removing your weapon from your back, you grip it's trigger and swing down, the tip folding back and the heavy base sliding to the end before clicking into place.
>The ponies recoil at the sudden action, but with a smile, you walk into the woods to find some firewood.
>Half an hour and a hefty armload later, and you have enough for the evening.
>When you make it back to camp, most of the ponys are relaxing in their tents, armor stripped off.
>One however, Shining, is over with Anon, watching as he does some exercizes with his lance and shield.
>Setting up a fire pit and pot hanger, you get started on some soup.

>>27990839


>It's not long before the smell brings the ponies from their resting places, drawing them to the fire.
>"What's cooking?" Cherry asks, peeking into the pot.
"Just soup," you reply, "Though we have some travel bread to go with it."
>Stormy grimaces a bit, before saying, "is that the bread that's hard and tasteless, but last for weeks on the trail?"
"Not quite. The stuff we have with us isn't as long lasting, but it tastes better because of it."
>"Well, it's better than nothing, I guess."
"That's the spirit," you say with a smile, "Even if it's unpleasant, having food is better than starving."
>Even though it put a little damper on the mood, the rumbling of stomachs keeps everyone but Anon close.
>He's still exercizing, Shining drifting between the soup and him.
>In what seems like no time at all, it's ready, and everyone starts dishing up.
>Anon is very quick to take his bowl and bread and move off to the side, just at the edge of the camp.
>"Anna, do you think you could tell us a tale? We'd love to hear about your hunts," Stormy says, bowl cradled in her wings.
>"Yeah, like that Thunderlung, I bet you've beat one before," Cherry adds just before stuffing a bit of bread in her mouth.
"I suppose I can," you say, stirring the pot, "and I have killed a Thunderlung, just not alone."
"It was, hmn... Seven, maybe Eight months ago, in the dead of winter."
"We've learned that it's the best time to hunt them, since we can wear thicker clothes and ear protection without risking overheating."
"But anyways, it cold, snowy and windy when the two of us tracked it down..."
~~~

>>27990843


>Crouched down, you listen to the soft, low hum in the air, carried by the wind.
"It's not far now," you say, shield already out to help block the wind.
>"Last chance to turn back," Anna replies with a smirk.
"Like hell we can. We'll be a laughing stock for weeks if we wimp out now."
>The hum suddenly changes into a whistling sound, and the two of you immediately put on your ear protection.
>A muffled roar echos through the trees, the Thunderlung claiming it's territory.
>Territory too close to a town, which is why you're here.
>The crunch of snow underfoot is inaudible to your plugged ears, but you can still just make out the steadily growing louder hum.
>Her Switchaxe is already swapped to axe mode, a phial of oil plugged in for the switch to sword mode.
>Stamina toxin, while not what you'd pick, it's still a good option for this fight.
>Your own lance is primed and ready, and you have reserve juice in various pouches on you.
>Reaching the last trees before the clearing, you peek out, looking for the patchy yellow and grey hide of the beast.
>While not quite warm blooded, the large reptilians like it are still quite active during the winter, just like this one.

>>27990844


>Bones litter it's nest, mostly small to mid sized prey, but a few things you'd rather not see there as well.
>While it doesn't seem aware of you yet, it is still somewhat expanded, probably digesting a meal.
>Splitting to attack from different angles, Anna moves left around it, while you move right.
>And while this may leave you in front of it, your weapons not as effective here, but your shield is valuable.
>Your chest expands as you take a deep breath, before you let out the loudest whistle you can, moving into the clearing.
>The beast almost immediately turns to you, inhaling for a whistle of it's own.
>Crouching behind your shield, you cover your ears, hoping Anna is doing the same.
>It's whistle rings out, easily audible through the ear padding, but thankfully it doesn't have enough power to cause any harm.
>Resuming your advance, the Thunderlung opens it's jaws, steak knife sized teeth lining the orifice.
>Beyond it, Anna approaches from behind, still unnoticed.
>Lumbering towards you, the lizard starts inhaling, so you press the trigger on your handle.
>Two glass canisters inside your lance are shattered, the chemicals mixing in the chambers before they expand and combust.
>Flames pour out of the front ports of your lance, filling the air in front of you and the thunderlung with a blazing inferno.
>It's charge halts and a whine escapes it's horn as it's body deflates somewhat from the sudden change in motion.
>The beasts halting gives Anna enough time to close in and raise her axe.
>It's blade glints in the snow reflected sun, coming down with all her might and raising a spray of blood as it cuts into the Thunderlung's tail.
>This causes it to turn to Anna, it's bleeding tail leaving crimson spots all around the snow and bone.

>>27990850


>Flames still roaring from your lance, you push forward, making them wash over the creature's side.
>Backstepping a tail swipe, you lunge forward, stabbing your spear in the smaller scales between it's rear leg and tail.
>Scales scorch and go black as the flames start to run out, a bloody hole left behind as you remove your lance.
>Up front, Anna lands a glancing blow before tumbling away from a sharp bite.
>A sudden swelling of the beast gives you warning of it's next attack, but Anna has no cover from it.
>Dashing towards her, she moves towards you as well, the Thunderlung's head tracking her.
>The inflation stops, and you dive towards her, shield between you and the beast.
>She dives as well, pulling as much of herself as she can into safety.
>There's a namesake crack of thunder and your shield feels like it got hit by a battering ram.
>All around you, snow and bones have been launched into the air, a small cone of safety untouched snow behind where your shield is.
>Both you and Anna scramble to your feet, well her to her hooves, and ready your weapons again.

>>27990855


>The head of her axe drops down to the hilt, the tip flipping up and a sickly yellow fluid starts driping down it's length.
>Splitting left and right, you and Anna both strike at the same time.
>Her swing at the head is avoided, but you manage to make a scratch along it's leg.
>It's attention turns to you, teeth bared and chest expanding.
>Anna's blade bounces off the creatures hide on her side, the plates hardened by the pressure backing them.
>As soon as it's attack goes off, however, Anna's follow up strikes both leave small cuts, the poison from her sword sinking into them.
>Before it can turn to her, you throw a tranquilizer pellet at it's face, the dust all getting sucked up as it inhales.
>Almost immediately, however, it get's expelled by what some might call a sneeze.
>Still, it interrupted the attack, and that gave you time to pull out a pair of vials for your lance.
>Opening the twin ports, flames still flicker inside it, the shards of the previous vials glinting in the light.
>Keeping an eye on the Thunderlung as it breathes heavily, you slide the two vials into place, before closing the ports.
>Inhaling swiftly, the Thunderlung lets out a loud whistle, making you grit your teeth.
>Even muffled it still hurts, and with hands occupied you can't really cover your ears.
>While still whistling, the Thunderlung lumbers unsteadily towards you, shifting to the side for a tackle.
>Diving out of the way leaves you unable to react before it's tail lashes out at you, clipping your side and flinging droplets of blood all over you.
>Knowing it hit, it turns back to you, inflating for another shockwave while you fight to your feet, staying as behind the shield as possible.

>>27990858


>However, this also leaves it's backside open to Anna, who doesn't hesitate to wind up a swing.
>As her blade comes down, she presses the trigger to switch to axe mode, the heavy head slamming into place just before it cuts into the beast's tail.
>This time, the strike slices clean through, bone and all.
>While not severed, the tail is only holding on by about a third of it's muscle.
>A pained howl comes from it, blood escaping the wound quite rapidly.
>It goes to turn to the one who caused the injury, but you interrupt with a lance to the shoulder, deep enough to interfere with the muscle movement.
>Pressing your own trigger once again, flames erupt from the vents and wash over the creature's yellowy hide.
>Withdrawing your lance, the flames move with it, angling up to it's face.
>During your distraction, Anna has recovered from her swing and has brought her axe around again, cleaving through the remaining tissue holding the lower hald of the tail on.
>Another roar of pain, but this one leaves it open to your final attack.
>Driving your lance, still spitting flames, upwards, it plunges into the back of the Thunderlung's mouth.
>There are a few twitches before it collapses, draging your lance down with it.
>"You alright?" Anna calls, moving over and removing her ear guards while you drop down to sitting.
"I'll live. Don't think it broke any ribs, but damn if it doesn't hurt. Are you good too?" you reply, taking out your ear protection as well.
>"My shins are a little bruised from that first blast, but other than that, I think I'm fine."
>Pulling a pouch from her pocket, she lights it with the still fiery end of your lance.
>After a moment, it begins releasing a purple smoke, and she tosses it next to the body.
"Now we wait for pickup," you say, leaning back a bit.
~~~

>>27990868


"And that was about it, I guess," you say, tapping your chin.
>The four ponies stare with rapt attention and awed smiles.
>"That was pretty cool sounding, I wish I could have seen it," Cherry says, sitting back.
>"You and your partner work quite well together," Brass says, "I rather hope we have a chance to see your teamwork."
"Well, we do have the job, so..." you start, before Cherry interjects.
>"We know that, but we're going to be fighting with you. I think our commander means seeing you two fight something we come across on the way and can't avoid."
>"I kind of want us to go back and find that other Thunderlung from earlier for them to fight," Stormy says, before yawning, "but it's way too late. I'm gonna hit the clouds."
>Yawning as well, Shining says, "Sleep sounds good. goodnight."
>The ponies all return to their tents, and after handling the fire and pot, you enter your own.
>A pile of armor rests beside a mound under blankets, and divulging of your own as quietly as you can, you slide in under with him.
>His arms find you immediately, meeting your hands under covers.
>"Thanks for heling keep this a secret," he whispers, shuffling closer.
"Of course," you reply, reaching a hand over his back, "it's no problem if it's for you."
>A hand moves up, brushing your cheek before resting on your head, thumb caressing your little horn nub.
>"Dinner was great, thank you," he says before leaning in and kissing the tip of your short snout.
"Geez, you don't have to be such a bull about it," you reply, rubbing your nose to cover your blush.
>Arms encircle you, pulling you to his chest, only two layers of underclothes seperating you.
>"Let's get some sleep, love," he says softly, before closing his eyes.
>Bringing your arm back around him, you snuggle up tight.
~~~

>>27990869

And that's this update.
Pastebin updated soon, and still accepting name suggestions.

The google doc is empty :/

>>27990876
So am I.

S' all good

>>27990873
Names on what?

Also with Shuk's story going on, How many of you guys play Monster Hunter? and what main? I'm curious .

>>27990873
Waiting for the inevitable fallout when the ponies walk in on the cow\cow action

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>>27988900
Only pegasi purr. Other pony races make various happy noises, but pegasi have that thing in their throat that cats have that lets them purr.

>>27988980
You stop that.

>>27989661
Anon would be BEST father. I get the feeling from watching the show that ponies stop maturing at around age 12 and that instincts are the only thing keeping them from accidentally killing their foals.

>>27989722
Stop trying to poison me with cute, Durnk. I think I can see that simpler mentality flying with the changelings more than the ponies.
>Anon and Celestia usually talk about their pony friends
>This ranges from their latest schemes to get them together to their general cute behaviour
>They bond over how stupid and adorable ponies are

>>27989810
>Ponies have different coloured tongues depending on their race
>They all taste like different types of fruit

>>27989842
We never stopped caring.

>>27990276
See pic, Anon.
I'll have something written up for y'all today, I promise.

>>27990873
That was adorable, Shukaku. I don't play Monster Hunter, but I think you described the action pretty well.

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>>27990929
No non-autistic humans have ever actually played that game and enjoyed it.

No one beside some downy friends of yours, at least. Like Shuk, for example.

Pic not related just cute

>>27990954
>I'll have something written up for y'all today, I promise.
Best-writefag making more content? Yes, please!

>>27990929
I've been maining aerial sns this time around. Occasionally do adept hammer for a change of pace.

>>27990929
Name for the story.
>>27990929
I don't play, but am thinking of picking up the newer game.
>>27990944
Anon will be revealed in a different way.

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>>27990963
A-anon, don't say these things!

>>27990954
>pic
madskills.bmp
jerk dash pls pls pls

>>27990986
Helmet torn from him in battle?
I just hope that
>"Is Anon... is she.. Anon a male?"
>"No, he is a demon."
Like the award-winning "But you are a stallion!" - "I am a man." thing.

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>>27990990

>>27990986
How about 'Awesome Story McCool the Amazing Ponis Meme Arrow Greentext Fiction.'?

Better then Untitled.

>>27991096
Unteatted
UN-TEAT-TED
because Anon is secretly a he and is hiding!!!!!
!!!!
BAM!!
!!!!!

>>27990990
Keep being so animu kawaii and your herd will get you a lovely cock ring.

>>27991105
But all humans have nipples, Anon.

>>27990873
MORE

>>27991064
>Anon fucks weeb-Twilight
>She keeps quoting her animu mango hentais
>"Your cum is driving me wild!"

>>27991108
Kawai on the streets
Sempai in the sheets

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>>27991193
>"You're filling my womb!"
>"I-It feels so good, I'm going blind!"
>"I can't believe it, I'm getting fucked by Anon's cock!"
"TWILIGHT, STOP."

>>27991212
Stop? This is so fucking hot.

>>27991212
Does she make loud, unnecessary, slurping noises when giving bjs?
Cuz that'd be nice

I want an Equestria that speaks exclusively in hentai quotes. Preferably one where ponies act to match their hentai quoting.
>Pinkie Pie has an icing device held in between her ass cheeks
>"Who ices a cake with their butt?!"

>>27991229
She moans and screams 'yes' so loudly the neighbors can hear.

>>27990929
Gunlance mah boi! Seriously, I fell in love with it in Freedom Unite, was a credit to team.

>>27990929
Adept Duel Blades.
It's like a blender of death

>>27990929
Bows. Pretty painful speed-wise on kills back in the MHFU days, but I valued the mobility too much not to stick with them and now they're much stronger. Just wish the status coatings didn't generally require nearly a full stack to get the job done, and forget a second application unless you also bring along full materials.

>>27991383
This Anon gets it

You fucks are making me want to buy a monster hunter game. Are any of them available on xbox 360/One and if so which of those is the best?

>>27991885
>MH
>Xbax
Capcom is too fucked for that to ever happen

>>27991909
There are a few on xbox, but they only released in Japan.

>>27991885
if you wanna get the newest one, you gotta cash out for a Nintendo 3DS

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>>27991240
>You are Anon, Ponyville's only resident human.
>Each town has at least one, you've never met any of the others though.
>You don't like it here.
>It's not that the ponies are hostile, they're actually quite friendly and welcoming.
>"Oh god Caramel! Push it in! HARDER!"
>"I can't believe how far in it goes! This is amazing!"
>Fuck this place.
That was Caramel and Ms. Hooves, trying to mail a package.
>An actual package, intended to be delivered to Canterlot.
>Everyone spoke like this here, you didn't know why.
>You asked Twilight, but she only started screaming about her purple pussy needing you.
>Everyone else nodded like they understood perfectly.
>You pass by a pony on their way to work.
>"LET IT ALL OUT INSIDE! MMM THERE'S SO MUCH OF IT!"
>She's a fire-fighter.
>It was pretty funny at first, but they don't stop.
>Ever.
>"Oh~ Anon~!"
>Oh hey, it's Rainbow Dash.
>"Taste my rainbow! PINKIE'S PUFFY MUFFIN IS SO MOIST! CUM WITH ME~."
>She's asking if you want to join her for lunch at Sugarcube Corner.
"Yeah, sure Rainbow. I'm pretty hungry."
>"I WANNA TASTE YOU! PUT IT IN MY MOUTH!"
>Now see, normally that would have been an invitation for oral.
>You've learned in your time here that she actually means something else.
>Translation: She's not really craving anything in particular.
>She'll probably just get whatever you order, but wanted to know beforehand.
"I'm kinda in the mood for a blueberry muffin."
>"LICK IT AND SAVOR MY PUFFY VAGINA!"
"That's sweet of you, I'll treat you next time as thanks."
>You fucking hate it here.

>>27991909
3DS, and you should probably splurge for the XL with the 2nd stick for the camera. It's fun, but it has a Dark Souls like skill barrier to entry. Takes a while for everything to click, and loot/crafting is the only way to get stronger. No grinding for levels, you grind for drops to build yoyr bext upgrade.

Pencil-anon sends his regards. 4 out of 9 requests are already done, including LaP ones.

He's out of internet coverage, expect him soon.

>>27992191
Cool.

>>27992191
Любим, нaдeeмcя, ждeм.

>>27992026
kek
Okay, that was actually pretty funny.

>>27986849
HULK SMASH!

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>>27991212

I'm delaying the next part of the Pie story until tomorrow or, at best, later tonight. The words don't want to come out.

But you know what would be fun? Anons writing oneshots for the rest of us to enjoy.

THUD!
>You let out a quiet grunt as you felt your back legs slam into the apple tree behind you
>It wasn't a very hard kick, but then again you never kicked your trees that hard
>If you kicked a tree too hard the trunk could get damaged, and if you damaged the trunk there was a good chance that the tree could die
>You couldn't have that
>These trees, from the saplings that weren't big enough to yield any fruit to the behemoths that needed multiple ponies kicking it to get any fruit from its branches, were your family
>And an Apple didn't go hurting their family without one heck of a reason
>Your daddy had taught you that, just like his daddy taught him
>So your bucks weren't hard; they were tactical
>Years of experience had taught you where was the best place to buck a tree without hurting it
>Thousands of hours working under Celestia's sun had gone into your technique
>Your hooves had bucked every single tree on your property
>You knew where to kick without looking
>You knew how hard to kick, you knew at what angle to bring your hooves up, you knew how to brace yourself
>You didn't even need to think about it anymore; your body just knew
>A ripple ran up the tree from the force of your kick
>Though you didn't see it you knew that the whole tree was shaking
>A smile came to your face as you heard dozens of shiny, perfect apples fall from the branches and into the buckets that you had set up all around
>You looked over your shoulder, and sure enough it was another perfect kick
>The tree had been picked clean of apples, and every single one of those apples had fallen into the buckets
>Just like they always did
>You took a deep breath as you gave your limbs a stretch
>The scent of apples and grass and dirt was in the air
>Up above you could see that there wasn't a cloud in the sky
>Though it was in the middle of summer it wasn't stifling outside
>All was quiet on the farm, all was still
>There was just you, the trees, and more bucking
>Just how you liked it

>>27993540
>Still smiling, you made your way over to the now full baskets and began picking them up
>You had a cart just a little ways away
>It was nearly full
>All you had to do was carry these baskets, unload them, and hull the wagon toward the barn where they could be sorted after dinner
>You were going to make Applejack help Applebloom with that when she got home
>It was the least that she could do since she didn't help with any of the apple bucking today
>Not that you were too upset about that or anything, in fact you rather enjoyed the silence and solitude, but that filly had to do her share like everypony else
>Placing the baskets on your back, you leisurely made your way through the rows of apple trees toward your cart
>A tune came to your mind, and as the wind began to pick up, rustling the leaves, you began to hum it
>After you pulled the cart into the barn your day would be done
>You could just sit back and relax for the rest of the day
>You could finish reading that Cosmarepolitan article that you had been leafing over the night before
>Maybe you'd go into town and get some ice cream
>You could see if your lil', lil' wanted to do something with her big brother
>Or maybe you'd just sit under an apple tree and nap the rest of the day away
>Coming upon your cart nearly filled with apples, you took another deep breath, your smile widening ever so slightly
>Yep
>This was the life...
Still humming, you quickly unloaded the apples, placing the baskets neatly into the cart before attaching yourself to it
>Cracking your neck, your dug your hooves into the dirt and took a step forward
>The cart was heavy, piled high with apples like it was, so much so that you could hear the wheels squeaking as they moved
>But this wasn't your first rodeo
>You had moved carts twice as heavy as this one when you were exhausted and the sun had been beating down on you all day