FimFiction thread - Now with 59.5% more not bumping in time

Futagoo get

>>27629123
FUCKING dead

>>27618503
>>27619671
>Based on which?
One of those "I totally work for Hasbro" episode title leak thread's was actually legit. S6E14's title is "Stranger Than Fan Fiction." There's also gonna be a changeling episode.

(http://www.equestriadaily.com/2016/06/six-new-titles-appear-on-zap2it.html)

>>27619644
>I'll have to replace Twilight with Trixie.
Why? It's never been said what Twilight did in school, only that she attended and presumably graduated from CSFGU. Her education slate's just as blank as Trixie's.

>>27622912
Hands down, TheDescendant (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/The+Descendant). His blog posts are always some of the comfiest things that I read.

>>27625553
>would be softer than Tartarus
Why wouldn't they just build a jail for normal criminals? Seems like way more money and effort building an inder-dimensional, time dilating portal than a brick building with iron bars for windows.

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Hey /fimfic/ share your desktops. We should see what kind of people we're dealing with here.

>>27629859
No, this has to be bait.

>>27629898
Nope. I really am this edgy. I'm /fimfic/'s resident edgelord, because someone has to be.

>>27629589
>Why? It's never been said what Twilight did in school, only that she attended and presumably graduated from CSFGU.
Since she was Celestia's personal protégé, I assumed she just learned stuff from her.

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>>27629859
That looks like shit, Anon. Black on red with a barely readable font? Why?

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>>27629859

>>27630390
whats with all the blurred out shit? what are you hiding, anon?

>>27630422
Unfortunately just boring stuff that I didn't want to display, that I also didn't bother to remove. Hence the blur.

>>27630431
I bet it's CP.

>>27629589
>Why wouldn't they just build a jail for normal criminals?

It's an intermediate between godlike beings stronger than Celestia and normal criminals. Say Starlight, or Chrysalis when she didn't absorb all that love. I don't think I would be very keen of letting them stay in a normal maximum security jail.

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>>27629859
This is shit.

>Gothic writing
>Shit knight
>Some dark protection software

>>27630711
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Locations#Tartarus

>>27630437
I'd reckon it's his location, which he blurred out with the weather.

>>27630716
>>Shit knight
Isn't it a Space Marine?

>>27630719
look harder. multiple files, a folder, shit in the taskbar. he be hiding all kinds of perverse shit

>>27630717
I don't think Celestia would be cruel enough to send very powerful unicorns to Tartarus for eternal banishment.

Imagine it as Equestria's jail grading system, normal jails being minimum security, the mirror dimension being for elements we want to keep away from the population without risk of them escaping (Powerful magicians, murderers, &c.), and Tartarus being straight hell.

Say you've got a Starlight level prisoner. She's not enough for Tartarus, being only a pony, but way too much for the normal jail system, where you know she'll escape easily. That's where the mirror comes in.

>>27630729
>and Tartarus being straight hell.
But that's not what it is in the show at all.

Also, I'm pretty sure there's a way to contain unicorn magic, or else literally every unicorn would be able to escape from prison, even wtih simple telekinesis.

>>27630739
>But that's not what it is in the show at all.

Cerberus garding the gates, monsters being kept in banishment for eternity, having a void desolate look. It looks a bit like hell for me.

>Also, I'm pretty sure there's a way to contain unicorn magic,

There would be, but the mirror would be for unicorns too powerful to be contained by normal means.

It's the same as saying that you should use a bulletproof vest against rifle bullets, since it can protect against pistol rounds.

>>27630721
Looks like it. The one in the back has a chainsword.

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>>27630755
Literally prison cells guarded by Cerberus.

>monsters being kept in banishment for eternity
In real life, murder convicts are also being kept in prison for the rest of their lives.

>having a void desolate look
Prisons aren't exactly the happiest place.

>It looks a bit like hell for me.
If you mean Christian hell, then it cannot even compare. It's just a high security prison with shitty standards.

>unicorns too powerful to be contained by normal means.
I meant something that prevents you from using magic in the first place.

>It's the same as saying that you should use a bulletproof vest against rifle bullets, since it can protect against pistol rounds.
No, it's the same as saying that taking away someone's weapons is as effective for BB guns as it is for rocket launchers.
Which it is.

>>27630767
>I meant something that prevents you from using magic in the first place.

Which probably wouldn't be limitless. Every system has a limit, and one restraining you from using magic probably has one too. We've seen totally sucking out the magic out of someone, but only the second most powerful being ever shown has been capable of doing so.

>No, it's the same as saying that taking away someone's weapons is as effective for BB guns as it is for rocket launchers.
Which it is.

What if the person resists you trying to take their weapons away with said weapon? That's what I guess unicorns would do, if they were powerful enough.

Come to think about it, Tartarus might be what the mirror dimension would be, since we see Tirek having to create a portal to get to it.

>>27630781
I wasn't talking about sucking out magic. You know those horn rings that stop you from casting magic that some writers use in their fics? Something like that. I mean, in one of the episodes, Spike (I think) stopped either Twilight or Rarity from casting a spell by simply touching their horn.

>What if the person resists you trying to take their weapons away with said weapon?
Then there are so many ways you can deal with that I don't know where to start. Have a guard knock them out, have a unicorn guard incapacitate/paralyze/stun/whatever them with a spell, or just call Celestia to handle her. If it's supposed to be some unusually powerful unicorn like Twilight or Starlight, then they can't even compete with alicorn magic, and there are so few of them that I'm sure a princess could spare 5 minutes of her time to handle that.

Honestly, I think a "mirror dimension" is a huge stretch, especially when you look at how Pinkie uses the pool in the show.
https://youtu.be/F8wZ3ANVeTU?t=44s
She goes "through" the surface of the pool and comes out on the other side, then promptly loses her mind. But then how did the other Pinkies appear afterwards? Logically speaking, the first clone would have to go to the other side again. But then, how did the first clone also stay on the "first" other side?
Which begs the question, who WAS the real Pinkie Pie?

>>27630811
>in one of the episodes, Spike (I think) stopped either Twilight or Rarity from casting a spell by simply touching their horn.
Don't forget that in the Equestrian Games they managed to prevent unicorns and alicorns from using magic.

>>27630811
> You know those horn rings that stop you from casting magic that some writers use in their fics?

I was thinking more of a magical Faraday cage, but that would work too.

>Have a guard knock them out, have a unicorn guard incapacitate/paralyze/stun/whatever them with a spell,

If the unicorn could be stunned by a guard, you wouldn't even send him to Tartarus/MD in the first place.

>call Celestia

I'm not having Celestia being a deus ex machina for any problem that arises. That's the EUP's job, not hers.

>and there are so few

Trixie became more powerful than Twilight by simply buying some random amulet from a merchant. Starlight studied magic by herself and became more powerful than Twilight who was tutored by the princess. I don't think there would be that little powerful unicorns in Equestria.

Let's say Equestria has 100 million ponies in its population, each race being divided equally. Let's say a quarter (approximative proportion in the U.K.) is under the age of 20, and not magically mature. That's 24 million magically mature unicorns. Let's say 1% of them, 240 000, have attained a high level of magical power, and 148 out of 100 000 ponies get arrested for any reason. That's 355 ponies per year who get arrested, and have a significant magical potential. That's almost a pony each day.

I don't really think Celestia has time each day to deal with a very powerful unicorn, especially considering her responsibilities.

>But then, how did the first clone also stay on the "first" other side?
Which begs the question, who WAS the real Pinkie Pie?

My idea is that the pool, after being left in decay for too long, with no major villains appearing during the time from NMM to S1E1, it leaked and became a barrier through all dimensions, and not only one. Pinkie basically traveled to another dimension's Pinkie's world, and emptied several other dimensions of their own Pinkies. Twilight's spell brought them back to their correct dimension.

Which means...

>>27630879
The FiM we know isn't the pre-mirror pool FiM.

That was a huge chunk of text.

>>27630879
>If the unicorn could be stunned by a guard, you wouldn't even send him to Tartarus/MD in the first place.
But... what? What are you talking about?
Being powerful wouldn't prevent you from natural reactions to spells, and getting stunned wouldn't mean you're suddenly not going to prison.

>I'm not having Celestia being a deus ex machina for any problem that arises. That's the EUP's job, not hers.
So you wouldn't have her deal with unusually strong villains? Weird, because that's what she does.

>Trixie became more powerful than Twilight by simply buying some random amulet from a merchant.
>random
>literally gives you alicorn magic
Still can be defeated by another alicorn.

>Starlight studied magic by herself and became more powerful than Twilight who was tutored by the princess.
Said who? She just figured out cutie mark magic. Also, Twilight's unicorn magic isn't close to being as strong as alicorn magic.

>I don't think there would be that little powerful unicorns in Equestria.
There are 3 unicorns alive that are known to be more powerful than usual - Starlight, Sunset and Twilight. And that's out of an entire nation filled with ponies. And their special talent is magic. And Twilight was still the strongest unicorn in Equestria as far as we know.

>especially considering her responsibilities.
Yeah, man, those important cake-eating and tea-drinking duties in Ponyville. Or those friendship-letter-reading ones. Whew.

>Pinkie basically traveled to another dimension's Pinkie's world, and emptied several other dimensions of their own Pinkies.
But how do the clones stay on their side while summoning clones from the other side?

>>27630916
>But how do the clones stay on their side while summoning clones from the other side?
Maybe it is a summoning portal, and in using it you're calling a mirror you from another universe.

>>27630916
>Being powerful wouldn't prevent you from natural reactions to spells, and getting stunned wouldn't mean you're suddenly not going to prison.

What I mean is that if the unicorn was weak enough to not be able to repel those spells/attacks, you wouldn't send him to Tartarus in the first place.

>So you wouldn't have her deal with unusually strong villains? Weird, because that's what she does.

That has happened only four times in the show. NMM, Discord, Tirek and Chrysalis.

>And Twilight was still the strongest unicorn in Equestria as far as we know.

Who got almost defeated in a duel against Starlight.

>There are 3 unicorns alive that are known to be more powerful than usual - Starlight, Sunset and Twilight.

Starlight hasn't been under special tutoring of the princess unlike the other two, and stayed for years secluded in her village, yet still manages to be as or more powerful than Twilight. You can easily guess what would happen if an unicorn actually spent his life studying magic on purpose, like how Beardo did.

And those three are in their early or late twenties, and have attained this power. What of a pony in his 40s who studied magic all his life?

>Yeah, man, those important cake-eating and tea-drinking duties in Ponyville. Or those friendship-letter-reading ones. Whew.

Might I remind you Celestia is the all-ruling princess of Equestria, who raises the sun and probably participates heavily in politics?

>But how do the clones stay on their side while summoning clones from the other side?

If we start with the idea that there is an infinite number of dimensions, then there are an infinite number of Pinkies going inside the pool at any given moment. By summoning them, the alternate Pinkie Pies' dimension's gate becomes the exit gate for the summoned Pinkie, like >>27630954 says.

>>27630954
But in that clip, Pinkie clearly goes into the pool and comes out on the other side. Or was that the clone?

>>27630963
Original Pinkie goes in, summoned by Pinkie 2 waiting on the other side. None are "clones", all are real, only from alternate dimensions, similar enough to be seen as clones.

>>27630970
>>27630963
Wait, but that would mean that original Pinkie is the one who has the most developed personality. And the other Pinkies didn't even know Original!Pinkie's friends were.

Those other Equestria's must suck.

>>27630960
>That has happened only four times in the show. NMM, Discord, Tirek and Chrysalis.
So literally everytime she could be there, then?

>Who got almost defeated in a duel against Starlight.
Oh yeah, true. Though she wasn't "almost defeated", she just wasn't winning.

>You can easily guess what would happen if an unicorn actually spent his life studying magic on purpose, like how Beardo did.
And how often does it happen? How many unicorns are powerful enough to use powerful spells?

>Might I remind you Celestia is the all-ruling princess of Equestria, who raises the sun and probably participates heavily in politics?
Might I remind you that raising the sun takes like a minute and "participating in politics" isn't happening all day, everyday? She certainly had time to read Twilight's letters, or send her extra tickets to the Gala.

>>27630970
But if all of them are real, does that mean they just lose their minds seconds after arriving in the alternate universe? You know, FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN?

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>>27630980
This probably, pic related. At least they got sent back.

>>27630987
>So literally everytime she could be there, then?

Everytime she and no one else could be there then.

>Though she wasn't "almost defeated", she just wasn't winning.

Looked like a tie to me.

>How many unicorns are powerful enough to use powerful spells?

As I said, any unicorn who has studied magic for long enough. Starlight studied by her own in her village, and got to this power. Imagine an unicorn with the equivalent of a doctorate, studying in an adequate space like Canterlot, with access to all these resources.

>She certainly had time to read Twilight's letters, or send her extra tickets to the Gala.

Still, I'm not very fond of using Celestia as a DEM to easily solve an unicorn issue everyday, with ten days of vacation for the ten missing for 365.

The Queen isn't coming everyday to use her authority to solve every problem in the Commonwealth, neither is 'Murica.... hey wait...

>does that mean they just lose their minds seconds after arriving in the alternate universe?

They're from similar but still parallel universes, so I guess their behavior might be a bit different from FiM's Pinkie. It's not like it was that far from Pinkie's normal behavior.

>>27631004
>Everytime she and no one else could be there then.
>and no one else
Elements of Harmony. The Royal Guard.

>Looked like a tie to me.
That's what I was saying.

>As I said, any unicorn who has studied magic for long enough.
I meant in terms of sheer magical power.

>everyday
Three unicorns shown to be powerful enough. Three.

>The Queen isn't coming everyday to use her authority to solve every problem in the Commonwealth
I don't remember her being a fucking superpowered god.

>They're from similar but still parallel universes, so I guess their behavior might be a bit different from FiM's Pinkie. It's not like it was that far from Pinkie's normal behavior.
Are you high? The entire point of the ending was to show that it WAS far from her normal behavior. Also, the first clone appeared, all happy about the spell working. Then, after a few seconds, she just started going "FUN! FUN! FUN!", almost as if she started out Pinkie-ish enough, and then went insane.
Seriously, watch that clip.

just fucking stop already.
it was referred to as the mirror pool or something along those lines. It was not referred to as the magical, medium security, other dimensional prison for naughty, naughty ponies who should feel ashamed of themselves.

if anything its a mythical cloning device. you cant create something out of nothing. well i suppose powerful beings could, but most mortals cant just create shit out of nothing. enter the mirror pool. think of it as a cloning vat. you drop what you want copied in, it uses whatever resources to mimic that and out comes a copy.

pinkies problem was that she isnt a michael keaton fan, so she never saw multiplicity, so she never realised that making a copy of a copy of a copy just resulted in having retarded clones.

>>27631029
>it was referred to as the mirror pool or something along those lines. It was not referred to as the magical, medium security, other dimensional prison for naughty, naughty ponies who should feel ashamed of themselves.
That's not what we're discussing right now.

>you drop what you want copied in, it uses whatever resources to mimic that and out comes a copy.
Not how it was portrayed in the episode.

>so she never realised that making a copy of a copy of a copy just resulted in having retarded clones.
The first clone went retarded after two seconds.

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I finished a drawing.

Now I'll go find something else to procrastinate. Maybe I'll finally get off my ass and write something.

>>27631026
>Elements of Harmony.

Which weren't accessible during Chrysalis, Discord's start or Tirek.

>Royal Guard
>Against NMM, Discord, Tirek or a bunch (few hundred thousands) of changelings

>Sheer magical power

At least Starlight's level, I guess.

>I don't remember her being a fucking superpowered god.

The Queen is the official ruler of most Commonwealth countries. If she wanted, she could come to Canada/Australia/New Zealand now and decree any law she wanted to, fire anyone she wants to, choose anyone as deputee, make any law pass, etc.

>she just started going "FUN! FUN! FUN!", almost as if she started out Pinkie-ish enough, and then went insane.

Perhaps shock from traveling between dimensions messing her up a bit, or a lot.

>>27631029
>just fucking stop already.

This is muh headcanon

>>27631038
>That's not what we're discussing right now.
I wasnt keeping up. and puddle theory is vastly more interesting that whatever the fuck you two autists are yammering over.

>The first clone went retarded after two seconds.
well consider who it was making copies of...

>>27631040
You should really touch those outlines up in Photoshop or something. It looks like a cardboard cutout.
Also, the window(?) thingy has transparent missing bits.

>>27631040
Draw the fucked up argument that is going up in this thread.

>>27631050
>>Royal Guard
>>Against NMM, Discord, Tirek or a bunch (few hundred thousands) of changelings

>Royal Guard
>against powerful unicorns
Also, how would anyone who isn't a Princess send those unicorns anywhere?

>If she wanted, she could come to Canada/Australia/New Zealand now and decree any law she wanted to, fire anyone she wants to, choose anyone as deputee, make any law pass, etc.
We're not talking about boring bullshit, we're talking about containing dangerous criminals with magical powers.

>>27631053
Literally lmao'd my rotfl all over my bed!

>>27631056
Fucked up? Are you new here?
We've been spamming walls of lore and theories at each other for years. This isn't even close to being the most autistic discussion in /fimfic/'s history.

>>27631069
Wait, weren't you saying;>>27630811


>or just call Celestia to handle her.

And;

>>27630987
>>That has happened only four times in the show. NMM, Discord, Tirek and Chrysalis.
>So literally everytime she could be there, then?

I then said;

>Everytime she and no one else could be there then.

And then you;

>>27631026
>Everytime she and no one else could be there then.
>and no one else
>Elements of Harmony. The Royal Guard.

Weren't you advocating using the royal guard against Chrysalis, Tirek and NMM?

>We're not talking about boring bullshit, we're talking about containing dangerous criminals with magical powers.

This is not bullshit, this is very real. It's a comparison between your idea of sending Celestia to deal with criminals and Elizabeth's real power to control everything in the Commonwealth.

>>27631079
I still remember the argument about Schlongs.

It's been almost a year now.

>>27631101
>Weren't you advocating using the royal guard against Chrysalis, Tirek and NMM?
I was saying that someone else was there as well. I was also saying she was the only one that could actually handle that. Just like she would be the only one to handle an unusually powerful unicorn criminal mastermind.

>It's a comparison between your idea of sending Celestia to deal with criminals and Elizabeth's real power to control everything in the Commonwealth.
No. It's not. The Queen doesn't need to do anything you said. Celestia or Luna do, because no one else can.

Let's take your suggestion about sending them to some prison in an alternate dimension. How do you think normal guards are supposed to do that?

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>>27631111

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>>27631079
We've hit some simultaneous high and rock-bottom points in these two years.

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>>27631111
Impressive digits.
I don't even remember what the Schlong argument was, but I think I remember it happened. Do you have a screenshot of it or anything?

>>27631133
No, but it was basically Autismo trying to get tanks into Canterlot.

>>27631144
Wait, so just tigers fucking tanks? Why call it the Schlong argument?

>>27631112
>I was saying that someone else was there as well. Just like she would be the only one to handle an unusually powerful unicorn criminal mastermind.

I quote, once again;

>>Royal Guard
>>Against NMM, Discord, Tirek or a bunch (few hundred thousands) of changelings

>Royal Guard
>against powerful unicorns

(>>27631069)

You clearly didn't say what you said.

>No. It's not. The Queen doesn't need to do anything you said. Celestia or Luna do, because no one else can.

She can, as can Celestia and Luna. They're not forced to, as, you know, Celestia and Luna can let the EUP/Bon Bon's monster hunting thing handle it, like the Queen lets Commonwealth governments handle their matters.

>How do you think normal guards are supposed to do that?

Even Twilight ran with Cerberus to and back from Tartarus. Any skilled unicorn could do it.

>>27631152
Autie nicknamed his thing SoS, which an anon called Schlongs of Skyrim, hence me using that term.

It could be that dick gun argument too.

>>27631162
>You clearly didn't say what you said.
Excuse me? I think you were missing my point. I used meme arrows to point out that they'd be useless against both threats, which is why a princess should handle those.

>can let the EUP/Bon Bon's monster hunting thing handle it
I'd like you to show me 1 (one) mention of the EUP doing anything against a powerful threat, or the secret agency doing anything other than hunting down regular old monsters.

>Even Twilight ran with Cerberus to and back from Tartarus. Any skilled unicorn could do it.
With an unusually strong unicorn that apparently can handle spells and attacks? Just a moment ago you were saying normal guards wouldn't be able to handle someone like that.
Right here: >>27630879 >>27630960

>which an anon called Schlongs of Skyrim
Oh. That was me, and even I didn't remember that.

>>27631162
>It could be that dick gun argument too.
there was no argument to be had there matey.

Everyone agreed schlong guns were more practical and less retarded than hoof guns, wing blades and mouth swords

>>27631188
I guess that Celestia could handle that then.

Still, wouldn't it put serious strain over her schedule as Princess?

>>27631197
Would mares have to wear strap-ons to use guns?

>>27631197
>Canon tier:
Wingblades

>God tier:
magical artifacts

>Okay tier:
hoof-mounted peashooters
battle saddles
those diamond sword weapon thingies from that one deadfic

>Shit tier:
mouth swords
actual hoof guns
mouth guns

>Oh shit nigger what the fuck are you doing tier:
human guns

>>27631210
I really don't think she does much except attend social events and occasional meetings with other country leaders

>>27631218
Mare would stick the butt in their vagina and orgasm over the constant recoil of an automatic weapon.

>>27631219
Where's the obsidian katana?

>>27631227
I'd think she has much more to do as the ultimate ruler of a what is probably the world's superpower.

>>27631218
vag cannons.
>>27631219
>Canon tier:
No.

>>27631239
>obsidian katana
Daniel Blaze tier

>I'd think she has much more to do as the ultimate ruler of a what is probably the world's superpower.
I mean, she could. After all, she told Twilight of all people to handle the yaks, which seemed to only contacted Equestria every 1000 years.
I just can't think of anything she could possibly do.

>>27631219
>Canon tier

Pegasi fought with medium body armor and their hooves in that edgy warfic AU, so no.

>>27631244
>No.
Denial means nothing, Anon. We can't retcon wingblades.

>>27631219
>no donggun

>>27631219
Forgot spears in the canon tier.

>>27631265
except we can because theyre not canon

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>>27631284
Say what you want, Anon, but these sound effects can't lie.

>>27631298
I dont hear anything.

but i imagine anything youd hear in that scene is little more than armor rattling from movement. armor be noisy yo

>>27631298
Visual gag-tier.

>>27631312
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSptEz9oyyI

>>27631322
No bullshitting your way out of this, Anon. "Songs aren't canon" is as far as you'll go.

>>27631326
Oh my God.
You're right, Anon. Those wings were actually made of metal and not meant as a gag that represented the crossing of spears guards do when denying access to a place.

>>27631345
Glad you understand.

>>27631326
Hey, guys!
Pinkie's hair is actually a balloon, I have proof!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hf_-1WT4cd8

>>27631334
notice the smile on her face?that was the sound of their instantaneously erect cocks slapping against the underside of their armor as soon as they say flutterbutter. also explains the partial wingboners they had

>>27631352
I mean, yeah.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdkuM3Bdrcg

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>>27631362
Well, what do you expect from a being with multiple limbs

>>27631393
I wonder if she can multiply any part of her body.

Seven vaganias
maybe more
imagine

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>>27631401
dat's hot

>>27631401
why would you want her to have more than one vagina? that just invites other dicks to the party

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>>27631483

>>27631495
seven times the pms? not worth it

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/328698/finding-purpose
In short:
>Spike moves out to other city leaving a goodby letter. He claims that he needs to find his own purpose in life and staying with ponies who are patronizing him doesn't help at all. He insists to go back when he is ready
>Month later, Luna visits him and like with CMC she shows him, how does he impact on rest M6 w/ Glimmer though their dreams

>inb4 Yet another Luna visits Spike in dreams
However, this one has some good merits to consider:
- Spike is genre savvy and approaches reasonably to each ponies. He questions Luna if RD is really good example to convince him, for which Luna gives some thought a little.
- Real, visitor Spike is being replaced with his dream representation for certain ponies.

For some reason I really liked this one, given the fact that this plot premise was already done few times.

futaloo get

>>27633886
OFF BY 2 YOU FUCKING FIMFIC SLUT

Slutaloo get.

Vanilla Scootaloo get.

Chocolate Scootaloo get.

Mosque fly futaloo get

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq_J2C6Hrz0

Final Scootaloo singles

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>>27634470
>>27634465
>>27634398
>>27633903
>>27633886
We're a disgrace, guys.

>>27633886
>>27633903
>>27634398
>>27634465
>>27634476

Fuck you 4chan and you lord Kek.

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>>27630721
He's a Black Templar. One of the Imperium's second founding chapters.

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I'm writing (the outline for) a war-fic and I'm having trouble coming up with a name for the one-off Equestrian general that Lightning Dust is supposed to beat to a quivering pulp (but not kill). Male or female, doesn't matter, but I want a name for him. You guys, name this Equestrian general. He's a lieutenant general, so he's not running the whole thing, but he's still pretty important (not terribly so on a narrative level, but certainly so on a setting/background level).

>>27635360
Oh, and to clarify, Lightning Dust isn't in the Equestrian military, before someone comes in to tell me how retarded it is for an enlisted troop to assault a general. I already know.

>>27634727
whys it gotta be a black templar? hes just gonna be all lookin for dat grape drank and where all the white bitches is

>>27635360
>>27635372
Why would she attack him and beat him to a pulp?

>>27635716
He runs the Equestrian forces stationed in Saddle Arabia, an Equestrian client state. There's an insurgent militant group there that wants to topple the puppet government and make it independent; they're being armed and funded by one of Equestria's main enemy nations.

Lightning Dust, in this universe, works as a freelance mercenary with prior military training and combat experience. She has a contract with that nation's leadership to cripple this general within his own quarters and leave behind evidence saying that the insurgents did it. It's mainly a propaganda move to hit their morale, especially when the insurgents start kicking them out in earnest.

>>27635756
Doesn't sound very pony. You could replace "Saddle Arabia" with a generic middle eastern name and suddenly you have a Tom Clancy novel.

>>27635845
True, but there is an audience for pony war-fics, if 'The Immortal Game' is anything to go by. Plus I just like the absurdity of juxtaposing the horrors of war with pastel-colored horsies. Putting those things together in a way that works is a fun little challenge.

>>27635756
That's exactly the prompt for Tiger Fucking Tank's first part.

>Saddle Arabia
>Protagonist's battalion works to help rebels overthrow the Equestrian backed government, being at war with Equestria
>Rebels want to remove the king who is currently a puppet to the enemy

>works as a freelance mercenary with prior military training and combat experience.

Why her and not some OC, who would be much more prone to doing this kind of stuff?

>She has a contract with that nation's leadership to cripple this general within his own quarters and leave behind evidence saying that the insurgents did it.

That would only raise tensions even more. It could result in;

>Our LG was almost beaten to death
>Oh no, our defenses are weak, we're shit.
>morale loss

But would more likely result in:

>Our LG was almost beaten to death
>There is proof the rebels did it
>DEATH TO REBELS! SEND ALL THE SOLDIERS TO AVENGE LG PONY!
>Equestria steamrolls Saddle Arabia Desert Storm style

That's if she even manages to get in the LG's place, since it wouldn't be a field camp, but more likely some place pretty far from the front, unless he's a Rommel-in-the-front type of guy.

That's considering the mercenaries take contracts from some random insurgent group in the desert and not from the world's main superpower which is fighting against it.

>>27635884
>audience for pony war-fics
Fantasy warfics, though. Idealized war, where there are good guys and bad guys and they throw armies at each other. Not this realistic/modern shit where it's 40% politics and the rest is psyops, guerrilla warfare, and Blackwater.

>>27635923
>Why her and not some OC
Because in-story events prior to the one I'm talking about led her to this sort of career path. Plus, I just really like Lightning Dust, and I'm fairly sure the readers would be more interested in her than some random OC.

>It could result in;
>But would more likely result in:
That's true, both of those things can happen, but how much more likely one is to happen than the other depends on the soldiers' opinion of that general, and their willingness to be there in the first place, both of which are questionable at best.

And the insurgents are scattered in cells throughout Saddle Arabia, which isn't under attack by any major power and has only defensive lines surrounding it. There is no clear-cut frontline. There are safe zones and danger zones. Plus, Lightning Dust just has a squad, and they're pegasi. They only stand a chance because they have power-armor, a technology that Equestria does not possess.

>>27635972
It's kind of a mix of both, though not that much idealized, simply because I don't find idealized war all that interesting to write or read about.

>>27636001
Well, you write what you wanna write, man. But given how close the premise is to the kind of shit that actually happens in the Middle East, I worry your ponies are going to wind up acting too much like humans.

>>27636067
I'll take that chance. I do sort of wonder how the fimfiction community would react to a more realistic take on war. Hopefully not too badly.

>>27636001
>They only stand a chance because they have power-armor, a technology that Equestria does not possess.

>Equestria, home to Celestia, ruler of the sun, Luna, godess of the moon, Starlight who created a time traveling spell and much more
>Doesn't have a technology a bunch of mercenaries has

Sure.

Your choice m8.

>>27636001
If I want to read shit like this i'll go to drudge report not fucking fimfiction

Write a story about lightning dust getting group fucked by iron wills goat roadies and i'd be considerably more interested


> power-armor, a technology that Equestria does not possess
yeah a ragtag group of goat fuckers (is that even a derogatory term in equestria?) has fallout tier super advanced armor that the most advanced country in the world doesnt have. totes plausible

>>27636099
From what I see, it's not that realistic. At all.

>Let's give a group of mercenaries who can change side at any moment our latest armor technology Equestria doesn't have
>Let's beat a LG almost to death and make him a martyr to the Equestrian cause by leaving evidence we did it instead of killing him, putting the blame on Saddle Arabians and thus portraying them as uncivilized brutes, not worthy of Equestrian protection

Also,

>how much more likely one is to happen than the other depends on the soldiers' opinion of that general, and their willingness to be there in the first place, both of which are questionable at best.

That won't damage their morale at all. If they do not like their commander, him getting replaced will get their morale boosted, if not making them sympathize for him by understanding why they're here: To fight the brutish resistants who would do such a lowly action.

The best case scenario is that the troops cynically cheer up, their hated commander being replaced. The worst case situation is, as I said, them sympathizing with him in pain, and seeing him as a martyr for their cause.

What would be logical would be sabotage acts blamed on the current government, which the mercenaries are perfect for.

>Blow up water tank
>Leave evidence locals did it for their own profit
>Soldiers get angrier and angrier at dickish locals and stupid desert, morale lessened by less food and water
>profit

Read the art of war by Sun Tzu. It helps.

>>27636302
Haha, funny you mention Starlight. She is actually the leader of the superpower that Equestria is fighting against. And *that* is the most technologically advanced country in the world. In fact, they're the ones who gave Lightning Dust that power-armor, a slightly modified model from the type that the highest ranks and most elite units wear.

>>27636330
It's not *that* advanced. Mostly because it's so expensive to forge and maintain, and it's magi-tech anyway. LD is only allowed to have it because she mostly just deals with the faction that actually uses power-armor.

>>27636401
I'd love to get in an armchair general argument over this, but I'd rather spend a buttload of time working on my outline than argue with this guy who seems to think his interpretation of Sun Tzu is the be-all end-all of tactics and strategy in war.

And I've read that book. Several times.

>>27636452
>Starlight. She is actually the leader of the superpower that Equestria is fighting against.
A communist pony somehow becomes leader of an advanced country thats better than equestria?

Equestria just has to wait a little while. she'll run that country into the ground and all of its citizens will be too busy standing in bread lines and unable to fight equestria

>>27636452
>Haha, funny you mention Starlight. She is actually the leader of the superpower that Equestria is fighting against.

The actual fuck now. So, you have a random pony, at the same power level as Twilight who is deeply knowledgeable about cutie marks form an entirely new nation?

I'm the guy who wanted to write Tiger Fucking Tanks, and even I find that retarded.

And I meant Beardo who created a time traveling spell.

>with this guy who seems to think his interpretation of Sun Tzu is the be-all end-all of tactics and strategy in war.

It is one of the best.

And you'd rather wound a general rather than directly attacking their water supplies, which would have a greater effect on their morale than anything else and anyone else they could possibly kill?

They're basically helpless without water. If you read it, then you should remember every time he talks about keeping the army happy and well fed.

Now that we're into war again. I was thinking of an idea for my fic;

Would having some special martial art catalyzing earth pony magic into the same frequency as the one of their unicorn opponent to shatter their shields and spells work? Mostly trying to give earth ponies a purpose against magical enemies.

>>27636497
Stalin seemed to do just fine against Nazi Germany.

>>27636506
>The actual fuck now.
It happened in the fic that this is a sequel to, which describes Starlight's rise to power. You don't have the context behind it, yet you're extremely judgmental about it. Sun Tzu warns against this sort of thing.

>It is one of the best.
It is. A timeless classic... that everyone reads. And the Equestrians and insurgents both use water running down a river as most of its water supply.

>>27636557
>this is a sequel
theres more of this shit?

link please so I can make sure I dont accidentally read it

>>27636590
I'll show you mine if you show me yours

>>27636602
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Regidar

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hey remember when milesprowler06 was interesting, entertaining and worth reading?

yeah that was a good week. dont know why he continued it for 4 more years though

>>27636663
Why all these incomplete ones? Not even trying to be spiteful. I'm just curious.

>>27636691
>hey remember when milesprowler06 was interesting, entertaining and worth reading?
Yeah, quickest half our of my life.
He's still doing that letters thing even when the show stopped using letters a long time ago?

>>27636694
You've never started something then lost steam, interest, or had another (possibly better) idea? Do you finish one project before starting on another? If so then you're in a tiny minority of fimfiction writers.

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>>27636716
>even when the show stopped using letters a long time ago?
>tfw the last friendship report was sent three and a half years ago.

>>27636725
>You've never started something then lost steam, interest, or had another (possibly better) idea?
I have.
>Do you finish one project before starting on another?
I do. If I don't intend to finish a project, I don't start it.

That said, I don't hold it against you. It's just a different way of doing things. I just don't like the idea of having a reputation for blue-balling readers.

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[Pt. 1]

>>27630711
>Chrysalis
>stay in a normal maximum security jail
If you consider the comics as canon then that's exactly where they put her she escaped because of the M6 playing soccer with the idiot ball.

I think they'd just stick them in Tartarus during the trial, etc. From what the show's shown, it's just a really high end jail. No torture or demons or any of that. Just chains and bottomless voids.

>>27630879
Most fics use the standard Magic Dampening Horn Ring when dealing with high-level unicorns. Those that don't either use runes or some such magitech or go grimdark with a saw. It seems way too implausible that, instead of having some relatively simple means of disabling unicorns, they've creating an inter dimensional prison to stick them in.

>several other dimensions of their own Pinkies
That's a bit of a stretch given what's explicitly stated in the episode. Not only that, but it means that a majority of the multiverse's Pinkies are literally retarded and cannot function as normal members of society.

>>27631040
Is she supposed to be sitting in the window frame? Because there's no depth. It looks like the window's a sticker on the wood floor.

>>27631050
>Discord's start
What? They were used both times on Discord.

>>27631244
>No
Daily reminder pic related happened and it wasn't in a song or a sound effect.

[Pt. 2]

>>27635360
>Pincer Maneuver
>Collateral Damage
>Total War
>Greatsword
>Shield Bash
>Sword Parry
>Hollowpoint
>Major General the jokes practically write themselves

>>27635756
>saying that the insurgents did it
Wait, why would the nation funding the insurgents want to do a false flag blaming them? Seems more likely they'd want her to kill some kids and pin it on Equestria to stir the revolutionary pot.

>>27636001
>power-armor, a technology that Equestria does not possess.
What? Why wouldn't Equestria, a nation so powerful they can have a sphere of influence, have major tech that some random mercenaries have?

Power armor seems like way, way too big a tech leap anyway considering we don't even have it yet. It's even further out there than tanks are.

>>27636452
>superpower that Equestria is fighting against
Even more reason Equestria would have it. We freaked out when we thought the soviets had better bombers and missiles than us and pumped billions into them to "catch up." Why wouldn't Equestria already have the same tech level as their cold war nemesis?

>It's not *that* advanced
We don't have it yet. We've split the atom, mapped every planet in the solar system, made food so cheap half the population's obese, and can argue about power armor instantly despite being hundreds or thousands of miles apart. It's pretty advanced.

>>27636099
>how the fimfiction community would react to a more realistic take on war
Just take a look at Generic Warfic #25392857 and #1945608. Should give you a decent idea.

Your story is shit is what I'm saying.

>>27636557
>And the Equestrians and insurgents both use water running down a river as most of its water supply.
Oh my God, that's the most retarded thing I've read in a while.
"Realistic" take on war, huh?

>>27637425
>It's even further out there than tanks are.
Reminder that tanks are canon.

>>27635360
Lodestar
Whirlwind
Rapide
Sky Ranger
Rolling Thunder

>>27635360
Bleeding Edge
Tiger Tank
Wing Blade
Warfico Generico
Loo Tenant

>>27637733
>Whirlwind
You know what, that's the name I'm going with. This post is much better than these walls of text giving me uninformed criticism that I didn't ask for. Thanks.

>>27637952
>uninformed criticism
lmao
How long do you think we've been reading and writing ponyshit? This general alone is two years old.

>>27636557
>Everyone reads it
>Therefore it is not relevant

>You don't have context behind it

Oh, but I do. Simply analyzing your style of ideas gives me enough context to know your previous ideas were unrealistic and shit.

>Know yourself and the enemy, and victory is sure.

>And the Equestrians and insurgents both use water running down a river as most of its water supply.
>In Saddle Arabia, on a desertic front
>Random river magically pops up everywhere a battle is
>What are supply lines
>What is blocking the river
>What is the local population also needing it badly

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>>27637952
>Uninformed criticism
>Legit criticism about gaping flaws

Sure m8

>>27637559
Reminder these guys had tanks and weren't nearly as advanced as we are. The tank is a technology that is now over a hundred years old. It's no indication of technological advancement.

ok so i am a bit new to the whole 4chan thing so i might need a bit of a break now fallout Equestria pink eyes it is a wonderful story there is one thing though that is bugging me about it. ( :( is there a continuation of the story you know like a sequel to this story?? because ... uh ... the story still has some potential to have a sequel :D for a example they can have puppy start out with talking with her mom and having flashbacks to when puppy's mother was alive (the adventures of rainy days) you know to b4 and after the fallout because there was a huge backstory with her mother that wasn't explained such as they said in the story that yeah rainy days was a badass that was a loving mother with the sadness of being away from her daughter but that is it there was nothing about her not one tiny bit basically in the story it was her mother going from place to place helping here there and oh wait there aswell but that is it i mean come on please if there is another person out there that thinks there is something wrong with this then plz by all means msg me at my email adress [email protected] so yeah the story is a wonderful one i love it but there is the gouls that knew puppys mother and there was tiny little segments of info here and there but there was nothing really telling us about her in the long run so to fix that problem in the start of the next story puppy needs to go and talk with her mother tell her about her adventures in her oh so adorable way and then the mother needs to start to talk to puppy telling how much she missed her ect. then after that her mother could start by telling puppy her long tails of what she did b4 she died you know kinda like a flashback to b4 the mega spells had gone off like telling how her father and her met and about the things that she had to go through after puppy had gotten separated and how she might have had a hoof in creating a few towns here and there all the way up till she died of old age. ore something else

>>27638326
Fuck of b8by

>>27636001
Tell me more about Lightning Dust and the Danger Zone.

>>27637952
Laughing now. Thanks, Anon.

>>27637419
Are we supposed to take every single gag that appears on-screen as canon?
The Wonderbolts flying by and slicing Spike's Spines was supposed to emulate the old gag of a plane flying by and cutting grass like in old Tom and Jerry and in Looney Toons.

>>27638825
>Are we supposed to take every single gag that appears on-screen as canon?
If you're autist, then yes.

>>27638832
So that's a yes then. Tanks exist, bullets exist and batponies arent just a Halloween costume for guards

>>27638986
Honestly, anything we could say would deter you? Revel in your autism. Embrace it and run wild with it.
Go Tanks.

>>27639013
Im not him actually. But thats a potentially fun thing to do- find the most obscure batshit things that are actually canon (and that the autists havent fully embraced)

Ok, which one of you started this:

http://www.fimfiction.net/group/50/the-writers-group/thread/259116/equestrian-wepaons-and-their-practical-uses

>>27638326
Now if you put as much effort into writing a fic as you did into this bait, people would actually care.

>>27638825
>gag
>in a serious scene about stopping a rampaging dragon
Denial.

>>27638986
Tanks do exist. That's where Rainbow's pet's name come sfrom.

>>27639028
That's what I was doing. Obviously nobody wants this shit to be canon, but it happened.

>>27639498
Says the person who thinks a joke somehow means that the wings of the wonderblots somehow have wings attached to them even though it's clear they don't have anything.

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>>27639803
>means that the wings of the wonderblots somehow have wings attached to them
>Wings attached to wings

Seriously tho, I'd think the speed at which they fly provides most of the kinetic energy needed to slice stuff, and some kind of reinforcing orthosis keeps their wings from breaking.

>>27639816
Bruh, unless they are pure angled bone, the skin covering the wings would be reduced to a mushy salsa or less

>>27639816
Actioni contrariam semper et æqualem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse æquales et in partes contrarias dirigi

that kinetic energy from a wing impacting dragon scales would result in a broken wing at best, with a broken wing, spinning out and lawn darting facefirst into the ground followed by death via broken everything at worst.

>>27639803
>implying they don't have tiny blades in between their feathers
You can't deny the facts.

>>27639139
>Weapon thread
>Autie jumps in
>Thread becomes walls of text

I wonder why

Pone-weapons don't matter as long as you find something that matches the tone and intent of the story you're writing.

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>>27640449
What if we're sperging retarded things such as "Rarity is one of the most powerful unicorns in the show"?

I know she's versatile, but...

>>27640463
Then I'd absolutely disagree. But it's not comparable to the weapon discussion.

Just a quick daily reminder that I love you guys.

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>>27640498
This is in the weapon discussion.

>>27640511
Me too dubanon.

>>27640518
>dubanon
Who?

>>27640522
You

>>27640511
>>27640522
>>27640524
Oh shit, now I get it.

>>27640522
Doubly doubly you.

Military futaloo get

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Bloody hell, I can't even stand how retarded Fimfic users can be.

Is everyone really that denying on Fimfic?

>>27640829
That's from me telling him Rarity wasn't a super over-the-top unicorn, and unicorn could control weather to a certain degree just like pegasi, as shown during MMC.

>>27640829
Holy shit.

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>>27640858
You haven't seen the rest of our autism.

>>27640852
>engaging obviously entrenched beliefs
If there's no chance you're going to convince someone that they're wrong, which is usually the case on the internet, there's no point in arguing with them. It becomes masturbatory.

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>>27640901
Whoa, dude, I don't come to /fimfic/ to read thousands of words of bullshit.

>>27640931
Basically:

>Unicorns are shit, they're nowhere near powerful, telekinesis is an advanced spell
>Telekinesis and other spells take the unicorns' full attention
>But proof m8
>B-but only Twilight can use magic fully! Pegasi are superior because they control weather, and they should be the only elements in an army!
>Proof with Rarity m8, who never went to a proper school, and can control clouds
>B-but Rarity is one of the most powerful unicorns in the show! And Shining, who is only a battalion level commander, is obviously a one in a million prodigy!

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These threads are nice.

>>27642091
These threads are why I'm not going into the Fimfic forums since a year.

>>27642611
I'm sure only the highlights are brought here and that most discussion on the forums is sane and tolerable, right?

right?

>>27643272

See >>27640829, in response to me telling Rarity was an average or below average unicorn, and the >>27640901 autism orgy we had over it.

All that because he thought pegasi and not unicorn/muds should be the main part of the Equestrian army.

We're pretty sane compared to that, even if I wanted to believe otherwise.

>>27643850
>We're pretty sane compared to that
Nah, we've just been around for longer in a single confined space. That's why the wingblade argument only lasted a few posts instead of the dozens and dozens it did the last couple of times.

>>27643904
>That's why the wingblade argument only lasted a few posts instead of the dozens and dozens it did the last couple of times.
its the same people having the same tired old argument. the reason it doesnt take up half the thread is because everything to be said about it has been said about it. Everyone here knows both sides of the argument well enough to play either side regardless of what we personally believe

>>27638825
Are we supposed to ignore every scene because it's a kids cartoon? You can't just write off every scene you don't like because it's a gag. Otherwise, the continuity turns into swiss cheese as large chunks are discarded for no valid reason.

>>27639857
>>27639884
I've never really understood the wing durability argument given what the show's shown. Dash can ram a barn and kick up a mushroom cloud, perform 90 degree turns at mach 4, kick through multiple tree trunks and walk away without a scratch--or are we ignoring all that now because they're "gags"?

>>27640449
What's someone sensible doing in the thread?

>>27640977
>telekinesis is an advanced spell
But every unicorn can use it--even Sweetie Belle.

>>27643272
I'd assume so. I'm really only a member of shipping groups and they're forums are either dead or "can anyone link me to this fic about X."

>>27644677
But it 'was' a gag, and I consider it as such. If it wants to be used as a basis for giving pegasus blades in their wings for certain fics is fine by me, I've seen weirder stuff. But claiming wingblades are canon because of that is just absurd.

The animators didn't make the Wonderbolts cut off the top of Spike's spines to show the kind of weaponry Equestria has, it was to make a funny scene.

Why was Applejack able to propel Rainbow Dash all accross Ponyville simply by jumping on a seesaw? How was Trixie able to delete Pinkie Pie's muzzle without her suffocating? Why did Twilight lie about dying her mane?

My point isn't that one shouldn't try to come up with explanations or headcanons for these things, but rather than claiming one as canon is absurd for a lighthearted mostly comedic cartoon.

Will knighty ever implement a delete account option? I want to erase all my stories and account and I don't want to take the time by deleting all my stories for a long time. I just want it to be quick and painless so I can finally move on.

>>27644924
>stick around waiting futily for years for a nuke account option instead of spending five minutes deleting everything manually

Yeah Yeah you totally want to just walk away from all of this clearly

>>27644963
The thing is, if I deleted my stories manually, it would take a lot of work and time. And, it's much easier if I could just do it all at once. I really don't want to take the time to delete all of them. Its much better if I just leave them there until a easier and less taxing option comes about.

>>27644924
It's been discussed actually, giving users the option to delete themselves. The reason it's been avoided for the most part is in case someone's account is compromised for whatever reason. Account deletion exists right now only for bots and spam accounts, but there is a chance we may use it for requested account deletion one day.

For now, if you want to wipe your account and are too lazy to do it yourself, just send me a PM and I'll delete all of your stories with a click, but you'll only be on a permanent (reversible) ban instead of full account deletion.

>>27645012
Also the stories could be restored when it's only a requested ban instead of account deletion, should you ever choose to give the story to a friend or continue on fimfic.

>>27645012
>>27645029
Will think about it, thanks for the info.

>>27645071
>I want to kill myself im totes serious guise
ok heres a gun, knife, some poison and a noose. go for it, brah
>o-oh n-no one is gonna try to talk me out of it? maybe i should think about it some

[ANAL DESTRUCTION]

>>27631218
No, which also explains why the Royal Guard all appear to be male.

Also, I'm so far behind in this thread...

>>27631265
It's more like the mighty dong gun renders wingblades obsolete in modern Equestrian warfare.

>>27644677
Try sticking around any weapon discussion. The dong gun ideas are sane compared to the kind of shit they're advocating there to fulfill their masturbatory fanta/k/ies.

>>27644677
>Are we supposed to ignore every scene because it's a kids cartoon? You can't just write off every scene you don't like because it's a gag.
>are we ignoring all that now because they're "gags"?
Well, do you want a consistent setting, that follows logical, somewhat realistic rules? Cause you're sure not gonna get that from the show staff, they don't give a shit.

>>27646724
Twilight fucked up yet again and is still bouncing around the multiverse, so every episode=different universe which explains the complete and total lack of consistency

>>27647305
Titor Sparkle. every teleport takes her to a very similar but ever so slightly different worldline. that also explains why everyone has relatives that no one has ever heard of who pop up out of nowhere

No page 10 bump

As a hardcore lorefag, all of you are really triggering me right now.

>>27648173
Great job.

>>27648181
How? By disagreeing with your holy headcanon?

>>27648197
By mentioning all the retarded little things that happened in the show.
Did you have a bad day, Anon?

>>27648205
But that's what lore is about, especially since we're talking about stuff that barely has any evidence in the show, such as weapons.

You're not the Fimfic guy who thought Rarity was a super-unicorn by discarding all the small details, are you?

>>27648212
I said RETARDED little things. Like inconsistencies.

Do you want to talk about it?

>>27648216
We've got nothing to do than empty bumping, so let's go.

>>27648223
Alright. How was your day? Did you read any fics?

>>27648241
Don't change the subject

We're here to sperg.

>>27648259
I didn't change topics.
>Did you have a bad day, Anon?
>Do you want to talk about it?

>>27648266
I thought you meant talk about retarded inconsistencies.

>>27648304
That would make me want to kill myself.

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What have you read lately, thread?

>>27648660
Your post.
Hahaha

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>finally
>FINALLY
>open my text editor and start writing
>write 80 words
>read them
>they're shit
>close text editor
>tuck the file away in the usual hiding spot among some audio driver files
>cry

Why am I so shit at everything, bros?

>>27649867
Anon, if Bleedin can wake up every day and confidently write, so can you.
It doesn't matter if it's shit, that's why editing exists.

>Be young
>Think the world is salvageable
>Think there is still a majority of sane and intelligent people out there
>Be now
>Go on internet
>Welcome to reality

>>27649914
And who's going to edit it?

>>27649942
Anyone really.

Just post a GDoc here, and ask some of the commenters you agree with to a personal proofreader. Doesn't even need to be full editing, advice and basic knowledge of grammar (Which I hope you have, unlike most of Fimfiction.net) is enough.

>>27648660
Aporia
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/312210/aporia
[Human] [SoL], 64k, incomplete

Two random humans from the Unlimited Library (which contains every story ever thought of) decide to take a vacation to Equestria, by stepping into an MLP story selected more-or-less at random. The result looks sort of like a Brony in Equestria fic, except far less shitty than any BiE I've ever seen.
> The MCs immediately meet the M6 - because they read some of the story before entering, and knew to seek them out
> They see Ponk doing 4th-wall shenanigans - and they immediately recognize the effect, having seen it in other stories they visited
> They tell the M6 about Cupcakes - as part of an explanation of the workings of the Unlimited Library
> They relive episodes from the show - but the story skips over the stuff we all know, and focuses instead on major original subplots
> They know the events of the show before they happen - but can't act on them, being unsure what sort of AU they might have chosen
So in other words, a shit premise written by someone who at least kind of knows what he's doing. Overall: pretty good so far, hope the author doesn't fuck it up somehow.

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Say, do you think it's possible to think that Twiligth could communicate with Spike through letters the same way Celestia did?
As in, if she was off visiting the Crystal Empire or whatever and Spike stayed in Ponyville, or something like that.

Cheerilee: the Professional
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/333802/cheerilee-the-professional
[adventure][human] 3483 words
Holy shit I saw the description and thought that I just had to check this one out:
They kidnapped one of the children under her care. Cheerilee couldn't stop it.
And in her mind, she had always considered herself a hero. Always thought of herself as someone who could win the fight, trick the villains and save the day. Her reality was shattered the day the child was stolen.
But she isn't giving up. She's decided to fight back. And with Sunset Shimmer's help, the two search for the kidnappers. But can they do what it takes to cross the lines that only the hardest hearts can cross? Can they be those dark heroes they've always imagined?
--You might like this story if you also like:--
The James Bond series of films
Everyday People Stepping Up and Doing Extraordinary Things
Vigilante Justice
Imaginative People Making their Imagination Reality
Cheerilee Becoming the Fighter She's Always Wanted to Be
Sunset Shimmer Fighting for What's Right
Chase Sequences and Fight Sequences
Moral Ambiguity like in Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul

>Opens with a mediocre set up for a chase scene
>Has the chase scene
>Proceeds to do the dumbest thing I've seen in a fanfic in a long-ass time. I'm not even sure how to describe it. Opening credits? Somebody look at it and tell me what to call this because FUCK ME that's dumb.

>>27650909
>No, there's no way someone did something so stu--
And they even go and choose the blandest Bond song in years. Excellent.

When I read the title, I actually thought it'd be a parody of Leon, the Professional. Oh, well... One can dream.

>>27650930
That's why I chose to take a look. The opening wasn't terrible though. There was a decent attempt at character building with Cheerilee. Then there's... that... still not sure what to call it. Maybe a title scroll?

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>>27650899
I dunno.

Maybe. I mean, Celestia clearly has to have a way to send letters to Twilight.

My Ponified Adventure
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/319534/my-ponified-adventure
[adventure][AU][Comedy][Human][Random]
7,031 words
Incomplete
Description:
Hello everypony this story is based on MidnightChaos's OTVerse
And also to clear this up the Oc Amethyst Rose is my own and the other Oc's Belong to my sisters and best friend who have given me permission to use their Oc's in my story.

I don't need to read this. I'm not reading this. I glanced at the writer and here's their bio: "Hello I am a 15 year old Transgender Pega-Sister, I am a huge fan of many shows but the main ones are Mlp and Doctor Who, Hobbies are Writing and digital art, although I am not the best at art I try."
Currently evaluating if I can riff it. It would be a short, easy one to try my first riff with.

>>27650529
Added to my RL list. I've always been a proponent of the idea that any premise can be made into a good story, so this is right up my alley.

>>27650899
Why not. I don't see any reason otherwise, considering she's also an alicorn now.

>>27650909
>--You might like this story if you also like/know of:--

>Japanese anime where a large group of fantastic characters band together to help one average person get their life back on track
>Unique Transformation stories
>Plurality/Multiplicity
>The Netflix show Sense8 (That's some good >stuff right there, tell you what)
>Suspense and Mystery in small doses with bits of drama thrown in
>Seeing virtually every major pony in the show eventually in the story
>A unique method of problem-solving involving several characters/one body
>Situations where literally anypony can comment on anything at anytime
>(Rated T for some sexual references, suggestive themes, crude/vulgar language)
>You might like this story if you also like
>Ponies talking directly to the reader
>Hearing what individual ponies have to say about humans
>A more realistic take on Humans in Equestria tales
>Discussions on sexual expression
>Discussions on human fallibility
>Discussions on religion and belief
>(Rated T for Suggestive Themes, Sexual Discussions, Ideologically Sensitive Discussions)

shit. did he do this retarded shit with everything hes written?

>>27651462
Of course. He is not able to understand tags and writing, so he does it as if everyone was like him.

Which is probably true.

>>27651462
>Rated T Ideologically Sensitive Discussions
Okay, now I'm truly curious. I need to read this.

>>27651462
Holy shit! He actually did! I have to see if he has the weird title things on his chapter 1's as well.

>>27651047
>MidnightChaos's OTVerse
are we supposed to know what that is?

>>27651532
Of course, it's his verse. Everyone knows it and considers it the best ever.

>>27651532
>not knowing about MidnightChaos's OTVerse
Fucking scrub

Okay, which one of you guys wrote this?

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/FimFiction

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Would supposing the dragons used to have settlements in the Badlands but the ponies pushed them out Falklands superpower VS third world country that still deals significant damage style make sense?

Also, r8 or h8 my interpretation of Equestrian size.

>>27652021
Stupid/10

>http://www.fimfiction.net/user/MidnightChaos
The name alone strikes me as a sonic fan. lets have a look

>animu shit
>displaced shit
>dr who crossover
>animu crossover
>weeabo anthrosoldier shit
>crossover with discord that I cant figure out whats its crossed with
>dr who crossover
>youtubers in equestria
>dr who crossover
>displaced shit

still have no idea what the otverse is but im guessing its shit

>>27652037
concur

>>27652065
We have to go deeper.

>>27652065
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/227217/youtubers-of-equestria
I thought you were just exaggerating. There's no way this is real.

>>27652021
>Also, r8 or h8 my interpretation of Equestrian size.
Seems all right. Not 100% solid, as you recognize, but good enough to use in a fic (with a little explanation, maybe, if it's important somehow).

>>27652037
Why so?

>>27652295
Because doing "calculations" about the size of a planet based off arbitrary lines drawn on a theme park map is every bit as moronic as trying to calculate the per capita income of New Jersey with a Monopoly board.

>>27652400
Which is why I noted the map might not be at scale in the bottom of the image.

What about the Badlands war then?

>>27652140
>This story is purposely supposed to be horrible.
well at least hes honest

>>27652503
massive, naturally armored, fire breathing predators get kicked out of their homes by tiny, fuzzy, adorable ponies (whos 'warrior' caste is canonically shown to be less battle ready than a pack of girl scouts)

sit down and think about that for a little while, anon.

>>27652503
>Which is why I noted the map might not be at scale in the bottom of the image.
Rendering the entire endeavour pointless.

>>27652752
>It's okay guys I'm being cancer ironically.

>>27652862
There should be some sort of irony control laws. No intentional irony without having passed a written exam and a background check.
Some people are unfit to navigate the ironic waters of this dank new world we live in.

>>27652889
I agree.

>>27653023
I was just being ironic.

>>27653041
youre not very good at it.have you passed your exam?

>>27653064
Maybe he's practicing for it. The IAE is a big deal after all.

>>27653064
No, I'm ironically unregistered.

>>27652889

Autism is never ironic.

>>27653137
Oh my. An undocumented ironicrant. Only dolan tramp can save us from this madness

>>27653193
Unless it's approved by the correct authorities.

trump bump

>>27645029
>could be restored
I thought there was a rule that once it's deleted, it can never be "reposted." Did you guys finally give up trying to stop all the "I'm deleting all my stories!" drama?

>>27650899
I'm sure with her becoming an alicorn, it would be pretty easy to use whatever spell Celestia uses to transmit the scrolls.

>>27650909
>Opening credits?
What? No wa--

>that poorly photoshopped vector at the end using the paint bucket tool
I mean, I'll give credit for ambition, but there's some elements of media that simply do not transition to written form.

At least he's having fun.

>>27652021
>make sense
If you're going for an AU warfic I guess, but canon has ponies terrified trying to deal with one on a mountain deep in Equestria--let alone invading their territory.

I'm not really sure why Equestria would want to bother with the Badlands. I guess you could go full Falklands with it but given how powerful the dragons are, I doubt they'd want to risk a war over a few hundred civilians.

In a "dragons annex territory" scenario, I see more a Federation-Cardassia analogue (shitty treaty leading to escalating tension/guerilla war) than a Falkland one happening.

>r8 or h8 my interpretation of Equestrian size
The old EW version of the map had "Distance Not to Scale" written in the lower left. Given the artistic nature of the map (Canterlot's a third the size of the mountain, Twilight's castle reaches up to Canterlot, etc.), I think it's really supposed to be used as a basic reference and not as an exact topographical representation.

>>27654566
>I thought there was a rule that once it's deleted, it can never be "reposted." Did you guys finally give up trying to stop all the "I'm deleting all my stories!" drama?
I took that as 'you cant delete your shit then repost it as a new story', whereas this is more 'your shits still there, just not visible/accessible to the masses'

>>27652752
Would you send your capital's garrison to fight on the front lone?

Think about that for a little while, anon.

>>27654566
>has ponies terrified trying to deal with one on a mountain deep in Equestria

But that would concern the M6, not necessarily all ponies in the EUP.

>but given how powerful the dragons are

Which would result in a thing similar to the Falklands: Victory, but at a pretty heavy cost, this time the Exocets being dragons. We've seen most of the dragons come for the dragon lord thing, and many weren't as big as the ones we see in lairs of Equestria.

Most were of humanoid size, maximum 2 meters high, with a few giants.

The reason of the war isn't that much for territory control, but to show the sovereignty and power of the Equestrian empire. The dragons being seen as a relatively primitive civilization, Equestria didn't want to let them get a portion of their land so easily, thus pushing them out of there.

I guess I still have a lot to polish out from that idea.

>>27651047
>Hobbies are Writing and digital art, although I am not the best at art I try.
Is he implying he's the best at writing?

>>27655568
Of course! Have you not heard of the new greatest writer of all time: Amethyst Rose? Nothing short of a prodigy. They said that Midnightchaos's OTVerse was perfect. To improve upon it would be nothing short of impossible, but then he arrived. Like a gift from the gods themselves, Amethyst Rose descended from the heavens and blessed us with his divine words of perfection.
>"Ok, um, Dear Diary, I guess?… Is that a good start? Sorry, this is my first time writing my thoughts down, Alright Twilight said I should start writing like a Diary or something to get all my thoughts out on paper, so I guess I will begin my story with the day things started going crazy."
This shall stand as a herald to a new golden age of literature. These immortal words shall sculpt human culture for centuries to come.

>>27655227
Have we seen any indication that theres an army beyond celestias little harem?

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>>27655881

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>>27655881
>>27655897

They maybe even raise a militia, or Pinkie and Maud were just part of an elite corp, better armored than the normal royal guard.

>>27655897
Not the guy you're replying to, but how the fuck does Celestia keep on standing in this positon?

>>27655908
The rule of cool.

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>>27655897
aside from the lack of white guys that looks like standard ceremonial royal guard shit

>>27655903
AU. and looks more like sports equipment than armor

>>27655947
>aside from the lack of white guys that looks like standard ceremonial royal guard shit
Who said the royal guard just stands around doing nothing during war? For all we know, their amour could not be just ceremonial.

>AU
Canon AU. As in, this would really happen in that situation.

>and looks more like sports equipment than armor
Or, you know, they're armored vests. Which are supposed to protect your torso. Like sports equipment, but better. Wonder where the similarities come from...

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>>27656005
>Who said the royal guard just stands around doing nothing during war?
well they just stand around for everything else, so why not a war too?
>For all we know, their amour could not be just ceremonial.
Its gold. pretty to look at, not so useful for actual protection

>Canon AU.
Maybe maybe not. alternate worldlines maybe things developed completely differently. or never developed at all. weve seen pre-equestria armor, weve seen crystal empire armor. we havent seen modern, functional armor

>Or, you know, they're armored vests. Which are supposed to protect your torso. Like sports equipment, but better.
or it could be, you know- sports equipment

>>27656132
>well they just stand around for everything else, so why not a war too?
Soldiers just stand around for everything else too.

>Its gold. pretty to look at, not so useful for actual protection
Source? Could be painted. Could be enchanted. Could be a material that only exists in the show's lore.

>Maybe maybe not.
What the fuck? Are you retarded? It was in the actual show, presented as what would actually happen in that situation. The only difference was that the Mane Six never became friends, and I'm pretty sure that they were never involved in creating combat armor in the few years they've known each other.

>or it could be, you know- sports equipment
Or you could be, you know - braindead. It doesn't look like sports equipment, and they're fighting a fucking war in it. They're clearly protective vests, which look nothing like the one in the picture you posted.

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>>27656159
>protective vests,
I dont know what that shit is supposed to be. it doesnt cover their backs, flanks , or necks. it 'protects' their undercarriages, which when looking at actual horse armor is the one place thats not protected..

>>27656215
It protects their chests.
Since close quarters combat depicted in that episode is basically standing on hind hooves and flailing their front legs at their opponent, it makes sense.

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>>27656132
>or it could be, you know- sports equipment

Or you know, Pinkie and Maud needs the mobility, Dash the armor lightness to fly, hence them not having metal armor, just like you don't have 130mm of armor on your planes.

>>27656215
As >>27656229 said, their CQC is basically punching the other with hooves, possibly jousting with a spear. Plus, it's not like out old uniforms were that utilitarian either. French soldiers fought with pic related throughout WW1, and that's time time period the show seems to lean to.

>>27656252
>their CQC is basically punching the other with hooves
thats somehow more autistic than hornblades, wingguns, mouthknuckles and hoofwings

>>27656867
Here's some more canon autism, apart from the awful gold armour being used for battle:
>The six guards around Celestia were holding long spears. There's no possible way they can use it in battle unless they can stand on their hind hooves while fighting.
>Rainbow's mechanical wing somehow manages to support her in mid-air.
>Pinkie and Maud have better combat armour than actual soldiers.
>Equestrian soldiers trying to beat their opponents with bare hooves despite Sombra's army having much more protective armour.

Let's just pretend Equestrians have enchanted hooves and armour and the spears are for combating pegasi, for our sanity's sake.

>>27656974
I was thinking the guards attached their spears to something on their armor, and jousted using it, but only in large formations for shock attacks. Obviously, they'd be dead in CQC with that.

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>>27656974
>>27657424
Yep, we can actually see some of them running with spears, implying they do have some attachment point for weapons.

Additionally, some of the non-line soldiers like RD and Pinkie are probably trained with some kind of martial art.

>>27657424
Interesting. I think it could be pretty effective.

>>27657451
Those spears are pointing up, though. How are they supposed to use them?
>inb4 battle saddles with a mechanism for operating the spears

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>>27657453
It could also be a more defensive pose, as we see the spears are straight up and not facing forwards. All enemies being horses, I think I'd be pretty effective.

What I'm supposing is that the main force with hoof and spear elements charge together, spearmen first. After the initial impact, spear bearers fall to the back of the group, and the other forces, including pegasi and unicorn, engage. In case they need to retreat, the spearmen are brought back to the front and lower their pose to create an obstacle.

>>27654566
We don't allow delete-resub because people abuse it to wipe ratings when they make a bad first impression. So either they can have their deleted story restored by us, with the original ratings and comments on chapters, or they can not have it at all. That is how it works.

We can't, however, restore individual chapters.

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>>27657469
This is my idea.

>>27657492
So, when will we be able to remove our own rating from a story? Like, let's say you accidentally disliked something. Now you can either leave it with an unwarranted downvote, or you can give it an unwarranted upvote. It makes no sense.

Also mobile app when

>>27657533
>>27657492

Seconded, that would be a very useful feature.

How much time passed between Celestia and Luna defeating Discord and Luna turning NMM?I got impression that these events happened almost simultaneously.

>>27657649
I guess they were spaced by at least a few dozen years, seeing Luna was fully cooperating with Celestia when they defeated Discord.

>>27657660
So it is possible that ponies who witnessed defeat of Discord also had seen banishment of Luna?
Also,as i remember Crystal Empire was hidden for 1000 years,so it means that Luna didn't know about Sombra,right?Because i thought that both princesses fought Sombra.

>>27657718
Who the fuck knows. Every important thing happened 1000 years ago. How accurate that is is uncertain.

>>27657718
Luna's return was a prophecy for exactly 1000 years. Celestia could have meant for 1000 years more or less, as there wasn't really any prophecy concerning that.

I don't think the ponies who witnessed Discord also witnessed Luna, as both princesses seemed to work together and not be jealous of one another yet. Or possibly Discord planted the seed of conflict between the two as his name suggests, and was the cause of NMM.

For the CE, I think, as >>27657769 says, that 1000 years is more of a symbolic date to say "a fuckton of time ago".

Futaloo get.

>>27657718
>Because i thought that both princesses fought Sombra.

From MLP wiki (http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/King_Sombra)

> In a flashback, Sombra looks down gleefully from his castle at a chain-gang of Crystal Ponies, when two silhouettes of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna shoot a beam at him that turns him to "shadow" and banishes him to "the ice of the arctic north."

>>27657805
God bless the wiki. It has some of the most autistic details about the show's lore that I concidentally always need to research.

>>27657779
Well, thanks.


On an unrelated note,can i have a quick summary of posssible weapons used by earth ponies except firearms and polearms?

>>27657828
>firearms
>possible
Oh no...

Magical artifacts are the only other thing that could work.

>>27657828
>Martial arts

Not a weapon, but useful.

My headcanon for writing NH is that earth pony operatives were thought a very complicated martial art that canalized their magic into the same frequency as their adversaries', leading to them either disabling magic for a while when striking pegasi and earth ponies or literally shattering spells, including shields, with unicorn.

As most armies teach some kind of martial art to their soldiers, this would make sense withing MLP.

>Horseshoes

Basically a horseshoe to hit other ponies, what else? Might add some pikes on it for mountain expeditions

>Magical artifacts
>Spears attached to side armor or pony side
>Battering ram pushed by many ponies

>>27657851
I have seen somewhere that battle saddles are possible,so i suppose they could use some primitive firearms like arquebuses.

>>27657887
He said EXCEPT firearms and polearms.

And why would you mount a firearm on one side? That will only produce recoil and make the weapon less precise.

Why even mount them on running horses with no stabilization when you have versatile unicorn?

>>27657851
>>27657866
And about artifacts-is it possible to use crystals for generating something like telecinetic fields or magic shields,so adding them into weapon/armor could bring earth pony somewhat closer to unicorn level?

>>27657887
>I have seen somewhere that battle saddles are possible
Possible as in possible to use them, or possible as in they might actually exist in-universe?
Because there's no way it's the latter.

>>27657917
Canonically speaking? No idea.
It's probably possible, though. The magical artifacts we've seen so far have been pretty wild.

>>27657901
1.Primitive firearms were definetely not accurate.
2.I was thinking about times when races were divided ,or about Crystal Empire.
3.I find concept of heavy-armored infantry somewhat cool,and heavy-armored battle mages seem wrong to me.(I dont think that unicorns are proficient in mining and blacksmithing)

>>27657917
>>27657932

I'm supposing crystals only have an effect on the pony's internal magic.

Say AppleJack wore the alicorn amulet. She would gain superpony strength, and not be closer in magic to an unicorn. Likewise, Rainbow Dash would fly better, and be more synchronized with atmospheric weather elements.

Then again, I'm the guy who's injecting microcrystals in ponies' blood vessels to make them stronger and making said microcrystals become a cheap drug

>>27657887
>Battle saddles

How do you fire?
Reload?
Absorb recoil? There's no braces to support it horizontally, the guns and battle saddle would just fly.
How do you remove it quickly if needed?
How do you aim?
And most importantly:

How is this better than an unicorn levitating a gun?

>>27657991
>Primitive firearms were definitely not accurate

Do you want to make them even less? It's bad doesn't mean we can make it worse.

>Divided races

Which was 1000 years before. The show points towards late 19th-early 20th century tech, so you're having horses with early-mid medieval tech get guns?

>Heavy armored infantry is cool

Useless. As you've seen, earth ponies excel and are used in CQC. The slower they are to getting there and dodging magic, the more vulnerable.

Useless to pegasi too. They need to fly.

Modern warfare is based on mobility, and they figured that out in WW1. That's why monsters like the Maus and "Land Battleship" aren't used.

>Battle mage

They got shields, why do they need armor?

Shining Armor himself can maintain a shield around an entire city.

>>27658030
Not even 1000 years, probably even more, considering they weren't even on Equestria.

>>27658030
>How do battle saddles work?
http://theovermare.com/blog/2014/01/battle-over-saddles
Don't remember if this has all the information that was in the fic, but here you go.
I'm not saying battle saddles should be used in fics, though. It only makes any amount of sense in FoE, it being set in a future where all of Equestria was in a mad dash to invent combat-oriented technology that utilizes magic for years. And even that is stretching it.

>how is this better than a unicorn levitating a gun?
It makes mudpones more than flesh obstacles and allows for pegasi attacks from above.

>>27658030
and why dont we field an army full of tanks/knights without infantry?

Story is set in times between Discord and Lina turning NMM,so yeah,medieval tech.

OP tier unicorns are just boring.
I am thinking about crystals enhancing earth ponies equipment and giving them something like portable shields.
In your opinion,how strong is telekinesis of an average unicorn?

>>27658068

>Pegasi attack from above

Still debatable, as this may make them exceed their maximum flight load, not including the overheating of the breech room right under their wings.

>>27658163
Two guns are not nearly enough to exceed a flight load of a species that can carry flying carriages.

File: Rarity_uses_her_magic_to_move_items_around_her_S1E14.png (825KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

825KB, 1280x720px

>>27658142
>and why dont we field an army full of tanks/knights without infantry?

We do. It all depends on territory.

You can get away with fielding only tanks easily in vast open spaces (Op Desert Storm, Afrika Korps operations). You can't when you're in small confined spaces (Stalingrad, any urban combat zone).

>OP tier unicorns are boring

Your choice then. It's your fic. I'm just using full power ones in mines since it seems more realistic and simple than inventing new equipment when you got an adequate force at hand.

>Portable shields with ponies

Then maybe "injecting" spells into crystals, making them serve as a catalyst. That could work, but again you have Shining and Cadence maintaining a gigantic shield around an entire city. If we consider most other commanders capable of that, individual shields seem like a waste of time.

>Telekinesis

Pretty strong. This is the level of a seamstress. Now imagine that of a soldier.

>>27658179
What do you do of the barrel and breeches overheating directly under their wings and blocking their wing movement then?

Try applying a rifle's barrel/breech room under your armpit after sustained firing. That's what the pegasi will deal with.

>>27658179
>>27658214

To give you an idea, a rifle barrel hitting 300F/150C is considered normal.

>>27658214
>What do you do of the barrel and breeches overheating directly under their wings
Doesn't happen with in-universe guns.
Why?
Magic.

>and blocking their wing movement then?
Hey, fuck if I know. Hasn't been even mentioned in the fic, all drawings of battle saddle setups are fanmade. It may be that the guns are actually tiny, or they're hanging low as fuck.