Twilight: I can't really believe your story Anon, build

>>27200574
Forgot title, meant to be My Little Progress

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>>27200574
___
>nothing happened, pinkie trolling you.
>your human sword is tapped on your shoulders instead of cutting your head off.
>it is then re-sheathed. And you stand up, more sure than before.
>you heard that the summit is actually after the coronation, instead of before.
>ohwell.jpeg

>you walk to the balcony, and look down at the thousands of ponies in the courtyard below.

"I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are gone but a declaration of our hopes for the future, and for the years I may, by God's Grace and Mercy, be given to reign and serve you as your Tzar."
>you think of another quote from queen Elizabeth you could steal.
>ah, good one, anon!
"The ceremonies you have seen today are ancient, and some of their origins are veiled in the mists of the past. But their spirit and their meaning shine through the ages never, perhaps, more brightly than now. I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughout all my life and with all my heart I shall strive to be worthy of your trust."
>that's the stuff, anon!
>you're getting such a good plot of land.

>through all the cheering, and whistling, and flowers, you stick your arms out to the side, smile, wave, turn around, and walk out.
>smooth like a laxative.

>the dinner was great, the meeting was great, but in its greatness it lost its memorability.
>basically, you forgot the reception like you drank too much.
>but, here you stand, looking at a large map- full of little provinces and lands that you're allowed for the taking.
>to the left of you stands celestia, behind you is a group of ponies from various parts of the world, you are on a raised platform, and all eyes are on you.

Which one should you choose?

>>27200525
Carrying on from before, do you want us to take an existing one and change the name or make one up?
first time linking to another thread, hopefully it won't fuck up

>>27200574
Ah, that new thread smell.
Smells like bread, actually.

>>27200618
if you look at the map, equestria's made up of a bunch of cities and then empty plains inbetween. we're making a city state here, anywhere there's space i would put it.

you guys can name it, too.

So this is the new My Little Progress thread?
Okay.

>>27200696
Yes, I know, I forgot the title.
My mistake.

>>27195750
>Coming upon a small house on the far side of town, Twilight knocks

>Moments later, the door opens

>"H-hello, Twilight. It's nice to see you! I-I see you've brought Starlight, Spike, and.."

>She notices you

>"*gasp* Princess Celestia! I.. um.. hi! W-why don't you come in? I-I mean, if you want to, your highness."

>Twilight steps forward

>"What's wrong, Fluttershy? You've met the princess before, on numerous occasions! Is something bothering you?"

>Her eyes begin to swell with tears

>"I-I just... I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry, it's all my fault!"

>The pony drops to the ground, sobbing, while covering her eyes

"What do you mean?"

>You take a look inside of the house
>It's a big mess
>Furniture and everyday items are all over the place
>Various animals can be seen running to and fro, traversing the devastated house

>Starlight looks to her mentor

>"Twilight, do you think this could be tied to what the princess mentioned earlier? Maybe this is tied with what happened in Canterlot, given that this 'Discord' fellow is involved."

>"It's definitely possible, Starlight. We need to figure out what happened here before we dwell on that, though."

>Fluttershy finally speaks up

>"I-I just don't know! I woke up this morning, and Discord was gone! I looked everywhere for him, but I couldn't find a single trace of him!"

>Discord... disappeared?
>Is he involved in this?

>>27200688
The space between Neighagra falls and Canterlot.
The name would be Waiapu, because I'm shit with names. Plus because it's a name for a river and there's one there.

>>27200612
http://pastebin.com/KvQKUKGi
Pastebin finally updated.

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>>27200574
>That pic
>Twilight stared at you incredulously as you recounted your tale. "I can't really believe your story Anon, buildings with over 100 levels? Flying boats bigger than Ponyville? And yet there's no magic in your world? Please."
>You shrug a 'yes and no'.
"There is magic in my 'world', it's just not something everyone can do. Nor is it essential to most of our technology. Though based on things I have seen accomplished by our 'magic users' it is possible to enhance technology through this sorcerery."
>Twilight takes a drink from some of your shared rations, apparently enjoying blue milk. "So who can use magic where you come from, anon?"
"We call them Jedi and Sith. I serve a mighty Empire built by the latter. And being destroyed by the latter because they're idiots who won't let me do my job."

Sorry about crossing the streams like that, but you posted that picture and with the standard statement by twilight, I had to.

>>27200574
Stopping by on account of the OP picture snagging my attention. Are there any stories here where some of the ponies try to reject the alien technology in favor of magic, and it breaks down into an open conflict?

>>27200777
Would Writefag_Is_Kill count?
checked

>>27200597
Ya dun goofed

>Be Anon.
>Be tied up. And flying several hundred feet above the ground.
>Shit.
>You look up, only to find a griffon holding you with his feet.
>You really want to yell at him.
>But that would probably get you killed.
>You look in the direction you are flying. A massive fort/military base is visible.
>This is going to be interesting.
>20 Minutes later...
>You are now in a cell. There are however, no bars. Or beds. Or anything indicating you are in a prison.
>All you know is you are in a cell, in some sort of base, in some place.
>A metal door opens, and a griffon with several guards walks in.
>"So Anon, you built a Magic-less WMD? I knew you were smart, but this is some serious genius." He clears his throat. "I'm gonna' make this real simple. You build us an M66, and give us the schematics, we let you go. No questions asked. How does that sound?"

"Never."
>You spit on his boots.
>"Bad choice, kid."
>His guards draw swords, and point them at you.

>Saveme.jpg

(Copied from last thread.)

>>27200807
I think he's going to be tortured.

>>27200807
>It has been 2 hours.
>You have been physically tortured. Lashes, beatings. You name it.
>You are on the brink of death.
>"So kid, you gonna' give in?"
"Ne-Never."
>Goddamn Anon. Stumbling over your words. You really are beat up.
>"So be it. We'll be back tomorrow."
>Battered and bruised, they finally leave you alone.
>You welcome death.
>But you can't die. Not yet.
>You still have work to do.

>Meanwhile, in Ponyville...

"Where is Anon! Have you seen him?"
>Be Twilight.
>Anon is nowhere to be seen. Last you saw, he was in his lab.
>"Nah, Twilight. Wasn't he in his lab?" Applejack says.
>"Yes, i believe he was in his lab." Rara adds.
"But he's not there! Or anywhere else. Plus, his lab was trashed. I think he was kidnapped!"
>"Don't jump the shark, Twilight. Just because his lab was trashed doesn't mean he was taken."
>But it does.
>One detail you decided not to share was there was blood on his desk.
>"Besides, who would want to take him?"

>>27200790
Not sure. I'll have to read it. Is there a summary of that?

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>>27200773
Honestly, my whole green is a mixed stream like that, centered between the Clone Wars and the GCW. I started posting it here rather than the SW general because I used the prompt and figured it would fit better.
pastebin.com/i5yNCzPK

>>27200723
"Fluttershy, before he vanished, did you notice anything... weird about him? Was he acting strange?"

>"No, not at all! He was acting just as he usually does! However, ever since he left, there's been this giant black door in the other room. There are words engraved on it, and it glows! My animals don't go anywhere near it! T-the scariest thing about it, though, is the banging. Just around noon, it started banging, like somepony was on the other side!"

>None of this makes sense!
>First Luna gets hurt, then Discord disappears, and now this door?

"Can you take me to this door? I'd like to investigate this strange occurrence."

She stands back up

>"I can do that. If it's alright with you, of course."

>You merely smile to convey your emotions
>She notices this, and leads you inside
>Wading through the filth, the group of you reaches the room

>Fluttershy stops at the doorway to the dark room
>"I-I'm not going any further. You can if you want to, princess, but I'm fine right here. I have a mess to clean, as you might see."
>She quickly moves away from the room
>"Spike, why don't you help Fluttershy? There could be some gems in it for you!
>Spike looks attentively towards Twilight
>"But of course! I'll do my best, Twilight!"
>Spike joins Fluttershy in the other part of the house

>Looking back towards the door, you go inside of the room
>As you enter, you feel chills down your spine

>Something isn't right here

>Twilight and Starlight keep pace with you, looking around the room for themselves

"I remember hearing Fluttershy mention an engraving somewhere. I'd advise you two to keep an eye out for that, if you could."

>"Sure thing, Princess, we'll stay on alert."

>>27200873
That's it for tonight. After I finish this bit about Anon going sith, and the Luna ordeal, we'll be back to Anon and the droids, and the unveiling in the badlands.

>>27200862
>Be Anon
>Be from Space
>Land in Equestria
>Have misunderstanding with the Ponies

>Be Celestia
>Recieve news of Anon
>Due to bad history with Humans, declare war/attack on Anon

>Together, they fuck shit up.

That's a... Basic summary of it, skimming over it a bit. I probably messed up a whole lot and offended the writefriend, so forgive me.
If anyone wants to expand on it a bit or correct it, be my guest.

>>27200858
No more posts tonight.
See you later you glorious bastards.

>>27200933
See you, my friend.
Still best green.

>>27200921
Sounds pretty decent, actually. I'll have to pick it up at some point.

>>27200921
>Be Anon
>Be from advanced space civilization
>land on primitive planet
>meet ponies
>Fluttershy decks anon
>Anon decks Fluttershy
>panic

>Be Celestia
>Learn of Anon
>sounds like a cunning ape
>cunning apes were genocidal cannibals
>panic

>Ponies declare war on Anon, throw their best at him
>Anon barely notices, builds up his robot army
>Ponies start to realize their princesses are acting crazy
>they stop attacking Anon
>Celestia uses dark magic to attack Anon
>first real thing that could hurt him
>other than Discord

>Spike becomes a badass cyborg
>Luna makes peace with Anon
>wants dat sweet technology
>Celestia becomes a crying monster
>Luna asks Anon for tech
>Anon says no
>Luna cries

>>27200887
>>27200873
>Sith Anon
>Star wars crossover

Sign me up

>>27201032
Listen to this guy's explanation. It's a bit more detailed.
>>27201065

>>27200574
You are right twilight there was nothing of value there. Forget I ever mentioned earth at all, let's go do something else
>and then anon kept being happy

>>27201119
But that just takes the fun out of it.

>>27201171
If you think earth is fun then why would you spend every second of every day wishi g go could go away forever?

>>27201101
Noted

>>27201065
Eh... not sure I'll enjoy randomly retarded alicorn sisters, but I'll give it a shot.

>>27200858
is this gonna turn into iron man?

please let it be so

>>27201205
Can you please type that proprerly?

>>27201288
I have yet to properly develop the skills required to write in my cellphone with one hand while edging with the other.
You made me cum by the way, thank you for that. Now I have to start all over again

>>27201327
I aim to please ;)

>>27200873
What are you going to write when you're done with this story?

>>27201223
they don't read as retarded, though Celestia does have the Captain Ahab thing going.

>>27201445
Hrm, okay. Like I said, I'll give it a shot.

>>27200612
I'd say take the territory west of the White Tail Woods. with it being undeveloped, it's resources should be untouched. Also it will get him in good with the other nobles as he isn't taking a piece of their pie. This also lets him name the region and build his city from the ground up. I vote the name of the area is Anongrad and it's city be named New Moscow.

>>27200574
I'm very glad my title for this thread lasted so long.
shame I don't have the time to write anymore

>>27201705
Which writefriend are you?

>>27200612
Wait, wait, wait, guys.
On the west side of the map, despite being documented and having what appears to be a railway, there is a territory named "Undiscovered West". Here's the thing: this means, that if we "discover" it, we get the entirety of the territory. The name would be Mauga Sinasina, which means White Mountain in Samoan.
Shit, I must sound so autistic right now.

>>27202440
We dont want no Argentina f@m, we should go close to the black nigga city

>>27202456
But you know what they say, anon.
>Bigger is Better
Plus with all that land we could make a country.
If we are able to, of course.
What do you think?

>>27200858
Can't wait for the next update.

>>27201243
This. At least drop a reference.

>>27200858
>Goddammit Anon.

>WHAT. THE HELL. KINDA SCIENTIST. ARE YOU?

>Where's your fucking cyanide tooth?

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>>27200858
Oh boy here we go.
The next update is gonna be good.

>>27200612
Twilight's castle will be destroyed in the finale.

>>27202475
I think i went to sleep, my bad
But also you dont need a lot of land to make a big country, just look at Japan
Also bigger countries are definetly harder to run, more borders to take care of etc

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Story bump, posting this a little early, next two posts or so will be done in about an hour

>>27200873
>You approach the door to take a closer look
>Just standing near the thing makes you head hurt like none other
>You can hear faint whispers, but you can't understand what they're saying
>Next to the door is the engraving

"Twilight, I've found it. Come take a look at this."

>Observing the words etched into the wall, you begin to read it

"The one who reads this, your friend is quite stuck. Don't worry, though, you're not out of luck! Find the key, open the lock. Only then will you find what's in stock."

>"What do you think it means?"

>"I'm not sure, Starlight. Let the princess finish."

>After they quiet down, you continue

"You might have no clue, so here's something for you. Deep in the heart of the nation you hate, lies the the key, the key of fate."

>There is nothing left in the passage

>"What could this mean? Deep in the heart of the nation you hate, lies the key, the key of fate? That doesn't make any sense!"

>...

"It makes the most sense, Twilight. It's obviously referring to Anonymous and his Confederacy. Why this key would be there is beyond me."

>"How would we even get there? Their capital, Panara, has only one living resident, and you know who that is. You can't possibly be serious! Why would Anonymous be involved?"

>Her attitude is kicking in
>Twilight still doesn't understand, after all this time
>Maybe she'll learn from this experience

"Of course I am, Twilight. I just need to figure out how we'll get to this 'Panara'."

>If it means saving your sister, you're going to do it
>Regardless of any consequences

"Before anything happens, though, I need to get back to Canterlot. I have a moon to raise tonight, and you two need get some sleep. Send me a letter if anything happens."

>With that, you leave the building, and your guards direct you to your chariot

>Deep in the heart of the nation you hate, lies the the key, the key of fate.

>key of fate

>fate


OH SHIT IT IS MANOS ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

>>27205531
every update I have less and less hope for this.

>>27205547
Is there something I'm doing wrong? I ask for feedback, but hardly get any.

>>27205679
Pls don't kill Starlight
And make her turn sides with Anon, because she is cute
We need more droids too

>>27205837
Don't worry, droids are coming up

This was just to get some of the story away from Anon for a bit, and make Celestia less of a cunt.

All this sith shit doesn't help, Anon is quickly approaching mary sue levels of power, and that's boring.

>>27205930
That will be remedied soon enough

Bumping for Anon become a light-side Sith and betraying Discord.

The light-side of the force is supposed to be powered by love and affection, rather than the dark Sith's hatred and rage, or the Jedi's "serenity" and brainwashed corrupt idiocy.

I've always imagined a Sith couple madly in love with each other, using their love to the advantage of their light-side powers, making the two of them practically invincible, the Force truly setting them free.

But for the sake of drama, he better not learn this until it's almost too late. Mary Sue is not welcome here.

>>27205992
Bumping for Anon to neuter himself of the force
CIS is the only right path right now

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>>27205364
>"She took the bait. With Luna busy, we'll be able to direct our attention towards the capture of Celestia. They'll prove to be quite useful in our cause."

>It's the next day

>You're Anonymous

>And you're in Panara, discussing plans with Discord

>He has an insane idea
>He wants to capture the princesses, and use their powers against the Empire
>You'd rather not involve them, but he has a point

>At the moment, your forces are no match for the oncoming invaders
>You hope to remedy this with your new fleet in the works

>However, you've hit a speed bump with that
>You've only got one shipyard, and you need at least twelve ships
>The one you're making has taken you six months alone

>Discord leans back into his chair

>"With the princesses in our captivity, we might be able to convince the Empire to back off, and then we can act."

"I'm still not sure. What makes you think that the princesses won't try to break free? They're just as powerful as you!"

>"Don't worry, my apprentice. I have this under control."

>Your holotable beeps, and a hologram appears

>It's FI

>"Sir, the plan has been executed flawlessly. The blue princess has arrived, and has been taken care of."

>What?

"S-she what? FI, w-"

>Discord interupts you

>"Execute protocol Zeta 3-5, droid. You know the drill."

>FI twitches for a second before replying

>"R-Roger roger, sir."

>You're stunned
>Discord took control of your droid
>He hasn't even seen him before!

"What was that? How did you-"

>Discord looks at you angrily, before raising his pawed hand

>A force restricts around your neck, and lifts you into the air slightly

>"I told you, Anonymous. It's under control."

>You can't breathe!

>Discord holds you there for a moment, before dropping you back into your seat

>"Now, back to our discussion, we still have some things to talk about, do we not?"

>You need to do something about this

>>27206156
The only option is to not make Discord invincible, or make it so that he can be permanently incapacitated.

>>27206156
Sorry, but I can't finish this segment at this moment. Give me an hour or two before I start writing again.

>>27200612
___
>scanning the map for a bit, you notice a spot that has no name.
>it has outline, bordering both the south and north lunar ocean.
>there's no end on it, and it seems to be barely visible.
>on the inside, it is blank, it seems it was hastily drawn, and the ink to the east of the area is slightly smudged, as if a change was made.
>you put your finger on the spot.

>in a reserved, operational tone, you speak.
"what's that area… the one west of the… white tail wood."
>celestia looks at the spot.
>"that’s the undiscovered west, it has great place for shipping, but there simply hasn't been any effort to get any of that land."
>she pauses for a moment.
>"does that answer your question?"
"yes, yes it does. I'll take the undiscovered west."
>celestia looks at you, about to protest, before smiling.
>"you're quite the adventurous one, Tsar. I'll command the rail to be extended."
>a pony to her right stands at attention.
>it’s a stallion, with hair the color of copper, with white streaks in his mane.
>his coat is covered in coal stains, but it is no issue to see that his coat is a light orange, like the color of the beginning the of a sunset.
>he does the regular 'left hoofed salute to the both of you, and runs off.

>celestia turns to the audience, and you follow her motion, turning on a heel.
>in a royal, loud, magnificent voice, celestia speaks up.
>"TSAR ANON THE INVENTIVE HAS CHOSEN."
>there were muddles in the crowd, mostly of excitement.
>you smile.
>"HE HAS CHOSEN… THE UNDISCOVERED WEST!"
>Gasps all around, then a standing ovation.
>good shit, anon, that’s what I'ah tolkien about right there.
>you could get used to this.

What shall you name the Undiscovered West?

>>27207654
Dubs declare the undiscovered west be renamed Horsepussia

>>27207654
Equestria

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>>27207673
>>27207683
I think I'm smelling a newfag here.

Ehsousspry

i made a name that's an anagram of horse pussy

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>>27207654
skeltaltopia

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>>27207742

>>27207673
>>27207732
>>27207738
>>27207742
what did i expect...

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Well, MLP:TiM seems to be getting a CYOA in turn for the lack of green. I was tempted to re-do my augmented anon green. But seeing this happen makes me think we got something we deserve.

Also, apologizing for my lack of content. I was hoping to get back but some matters arose due to a family loss.
TL:DR can't write green because I'm being a whiny bitch.

But if I can get myself a good drink and some tunes I can probably get to it in a day or two after the CYOA vanishes.

>>27207654
Oblast, Siberia, Kamchatka or Moscow
Continue the tzar theme

>>27207654
Mauga Sinasina.
I still think we should call it that.

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>>27206156
>Eight hours later

>You're standing in front of six months worth of hard work
>Next to you are FI and Discord
>Behind you stand the droids that will be stationed in it

>The loading ramp is lowered, and you enter the ship
>Once you're inside, you separate from the droids, heading towards the service elevator
>Within minutes you arrive at the bridge
>Looking towards the horizon, the sun begins to fall

>Tomorrow is the big day


>You're Twilight Sparkle

>Tomorrow is the day everyone's been waiting for

>It's also the day Celestia wants to solve this puzzle
>She sent you a letter about an hour ago, detailing her plan
>Celestia wants to take advantage of this upcoming event to get into the capital of the CIS

>Starlight agrees with you that this is a terrible plan
>She's rather you have a discussion with Anonymous about the ordeal, and to find a solution that way
>Even though the princess said specifically not to, you decided to send a letter to Anonymous
>Since he doesn't have the power to receive them instantly, you had to use your won magic to send it

>You only hope that he will get it before anything bad happens

>Taking that off of your mind, though, you still have a day to enjoy tomorrow
>You and your friends will be arriving hours before the event starts, giving you time to roam the city
>The girls are as excited for this trip as you are

>Erasing those thoughts from your mind, you turn off the lamp, and lay down for a good night's sleep

>Tomorrow is the big day


Happenings imminent

Danger close

>>27208037
God damnit, I always forget when I need to add things to my writing. Twilight in this scene is sitting on her bed, reading a book as the sun goes down. Will update it to be like this in the pastebin.

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>>27208037

>>27207839
http://www.strawpoll.me/10069505
The Mauga Sinashina was supposed to have parentheses for (Normal Name)

>>27208306
okay, so we're going meme city, candidates for meme name?

>>27208417
Faggotopia

>>27208417
DROIDLAND

Seriously though, do something like skeltaltopia or reomvekebabia

>>27208446
ree spelling errors

removekebabia*

>>27208417
Cykablyatovia.

>>27208417
>rapetovia

>>27208417
Tosovia.
you guessed it, it means rape in Samoan. I'm so original with names, eh?

>>27208417
Why not just settle for the classics: Anontopia?

>>27208417
Pākehā.
Means white person in Māori.

>>27208417
Iwtcird

closing entries in a moment. there's a slew i've drummed up

>>27208792
http://www.strawpoll.me/10069872

Hit it up.

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>>27208843
cmon iwtcird. It's a classic.

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>>27200858
>Your mind twists and turns, thinking.
>Can't be the Changlings.
>Not Discord.
>Probably.
"It's the Griffons. They have been competing with us ponies for a long time. They might want him so he could build more cannons!"

>Be Anon.
>It has been 3 weeks since you arrived in this hell.
>You are so weak, you can't even stand up.
>Damn legs.
>While you were trying to sleep, that griffon jackass with his guards walks in.
>"You just don't give up do you?" He seems angry.
>"You WILL build us one of those cannons, or die."
"You wouldn't kill me. I'm too important."
>You spit on his boots again.
>"We don't need you. We could just capture the gun and reverse engineer it. You've got one more chance."
>You put on an expression of pure apathy.
"No."
>For the first time in weeks, you stand on your legs.
"Never. I won't let history repeat itself."
>He just stands there.
>"Kill him."
>Your apathetic expression stays.
"Do you hear that?"
>You gesture to the ceiling.
>"Hear what?"
>Boom.
>That boom sounds familiar.
>"What- What was that?"
"1... 2..."
>Another, louder, boom is heard, and you all fall to the ground.
>You look up, and see the roof has a hole now.
>The sun blasts your eyes with electromagnetic rays.
>With the last of your strength, you get up and sprint up the rubble to the surface.
>When you get up there, you climb the wall separating you from Hell and Freedom.
>When you get to the top, you see a familiar sight.
>The M66. And your Small Army.
>Smoke is being emitted by the muzzle.
>"Give Anon back, or face the wrath of atomic devastation!" A familiar voice projects. It's Twilight.
>You wave your arms, trying to grab their attention.
>"EVACUATE!" You hear the jackass say behind you.
>"Anon! Get over here!" Twilight projects again.
>You jump off, and begin running. Faster than you thought you could.
>As you close the distance, the gun fires again.
>Boom.
>You look back at the Hell, and find it flattened by atomic annihilation.

>>27208843 i want change my vote

>>27208933
you can literally vote for all of them at the same time if you wanted to.

>Droidland only has one vote.
Vote for your shit Droid.

>>27208919
>came to the conclusion it was the Griffons too easily
>discovered where they took him with seemingly no evidence
>from what I can tell, artillery strikes on his location
>somehow his battered and beaten body allows him to recover from the shelling faster than the healthy griffons
>somehow ponies were able to just waltz into a foreign, and possible hostile, nation with a massive weapon without meeting heavy enemy resistance
>the entire Griffon army should've been on them the second they crossed the border
>"Never. I won't let history repeat itself."
Anon is still dumb, if he didn't want another Cold War, he shouldn't have built one in the first place just to prove a point.
>As you close the distance, the gun fires again.
I'm pretty sure you couldn't run fast enough to get away from Ground Zero and survive, Anon should be dead.

>>27208919
>no iron man reference

despicable

>>27208843
Will we have the choice to choose an anthem?

>>27209066
This, being that close to the blast would have at the very least flash cooked his skin to super nigra levels.

>>27209130
maybe, later.

>>27209066
>Implying unrealistic things in works of fiction make said fiction bad/unenjoyable
kek

E aulelei tele lenei filo.
E maua e faaliliu lenei, e saʻo?

>>27209177
Honestly your story just seems really rushed. I meam, who makes a nuclear bomb, gathers an army, gets imprisoned, escapes said prison, and detonates a nuclear bomb in less than ten posts?

Give us the details, show us how characters react to things, take us on the journey that is your story. Your idea is interesting, but it needs work.

I'd like to see more of this in the future, but that's just my opinion.

>>27209177
Your green is still good, despite the flaws. Remember, that no matter what, some people might think your green is better than LP's.

>>27209177
So when someone points to flaws in your story, rather than address them you just laugh it off?
Ok dude, keep being shit.

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>>27209243
Storytelling isn't so much about the major plot points, that's what a history lecture is. Storytelling is more about what happens in between. I'd recommend pressing on without a rewrite since it seems every time a writefag tries to fix their green they wind up abandoning it.

>>27208417
Castlevania

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>>27209401
Don't you mean Castle-Mane-ia?

>>27208919
>>27209243
Yeah, i understand. I'll try to go a bit slower.

>"Anon! Are you okay?"
"If by okay, you mean alive, then yes."
>"Here, let me get those cuffs off you."
>A laser from Twilight's horn cuts the cuffs off.
>You move your arms around, finally able to move properly.
"Oh, by the way, firing that gun while i'm running away from ground zero is a bad idea."
>You notice the horrible stinging pain all over your body.
>"Oh, i'm sorry Anon. I didn't know that blast would hurt you if you weren't in the blast radius."
>You look back at the ruins.
"There's you need to know. Nuclear Fission emits more than just energy. It also creates Radiation. Particles that can cause serious genetic damage, and other bad things."
>The purple pony looks at you, with a questioning expression.
>"How much?"
"The amount depends on the yield of the explosive. And the efficiency of Fission.
These shells don't create tremendous amounts, but it's still there."
>The Radiation bites at your flesh, trying to consume you.
>It's obvious you are in pain.
>"Anon, are you seriously okay? You don't look it." Applejack says, sitting on a chair next to the railing.
"I'm fine. I really am."
>You're not.
>You develop a nosebleed. The world starts to fade, and with a loud thud, reality goes to black.

>"Anon?"
>You awake to Twilight's familiar voice.
"What happened?"
>You look around, and notice that it's sunset. Several ponies can be seen napping on the M66.
>"You passed out. We're going home now, but it's going to take a while."
"Can i ask a question? Why are not currently being assaulted by the Griffon army?"
>She chuckles. "You really think they would come after us after that? Besides, I could just put up a shield and keep them away."
"But, how did you get the cannon here without, well, dying?"
>Twilight takes a moment to think.
>"Well, there is a blindspot in the Griffon's border we've known about for a while, so we just snuck this thing inside."

>>27208417
Thislandia

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http://www.strawpoll.me/10070184
final meme poll

Wow, I just looked through completed stories on the pastebin and they all sucked mega balls.

Also I remember seeing one of the "active" stories from over two years ago. It's definitely not active.

Your general sucks

>>27209418
because just handwaving the plotholes away will fix them, if the griffons are really this small a threat that one alicorn is enough then why bother using them?

>>27209509
Our general really does suck, but the writers refuse to merge with AiE, so we're stuck.

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>>27209509
we know. anything else?

>>27209518
It's been going slowly down the shitter a long time.

>>27209418
This is bad and you should just stop trying.

>>27209509
Cool cool.

>>27209723
I don't think it's terrible, but this defiantly needs work, the gaping holes in plot and handwaving in general are a pretty bad sign of how this will go, the bad par is his inability to take any criticism and basically saying 'just don't worry about it, and pretend it's not stupid cuz magic lol.', this is the technology thread not bullshit magic handwaving thread.

How do you guys think Anon would advertise his country/ city state? If you ask me, I think he would do it with humor.

>>27209772
>defiantly
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Popping in to say that I'm in the middle of exams so don't expect anything for a little while. Might as well weigh in on the conversation while I'm here.

>>27200921
Not bad actually. I wish to expand on the bad history since I was relying on overly subtle hints to get ideas across when I wrote that part, and it's unlikely it will be revisited in the story. They treated the ponies like the mongols treated horses, buffalo like early European settlers treated buffalo, cattle like modern farming treats cattle etc. A terrible cruelty to any being with higher order thinking, but animal husbandry was entirely necessary for us to be such a successful species, so I've no doubt that a species that fills the same ecological niche as us in such a similar world would behave in a similar way. Basically a brief look into how a highly intelligent prey species might see a highly successful predator.

>>27201065
They weren't cannibals. They ate ponies, not each other.

>>27201223
If they come across as retarded, I have failed. I was going for terrified/desperate/obsessed.

>>27201513
pls no bully. I'm somewhat ashamed of my earlier writing. But in all seriousness I'm still seeking criticism of any part of that story; there are some terrible that I'm well aware of that might be totally rewritten after the story's done (gas, anyone?) but there may be other problems with my writing that I've yet to notice.

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>>27210245
I know the story would have just ended right there, but couldn't Anon have just rebuilt his ship's engines and systems and then fucked off back to his world?

>>27210306
but he was on a colonization mission. That would be like going to a restaurant and leaving as soon as you walk in the door.

>>27209418
My only beef is that Anon should have given the ponies some regular artillery shells to go with the atomic cannon.

I have the feeling that them actually using the device to blast a hole where he can see it would bury him alive. No wait. Not buried alive. Buried DEAD.

Hey I'm new to the my little progress threads and was wondering what stories are good in the pastebins. Thank you.

>>27211045
LP's one, despite having irregular updates, is still a good one.
Writefag_is_Kill's one is good too, you can see a summary if you look to the first fifty posts in this thread.

>>27209509
peterq is actually good, read more of it.

Try to keep this thread alive, guys.
Heading off to bed now, see you in the morning!

>>27211045
Droidanon is pretty decent, though his Anon is sort of a mary sue at the moment. My idea of a good time is alright too.

>>27211045
>>27211051
>>27211495
>>27211894
literally just
>"read all of the stories in the pastebin!"

>>27208417
Cykablyatovia. seems to be the winner at the moment. if the winner changes by 5PM pacific standard i'll change it to that.
Redpill: naming country, go vote for name in strawpoll

>>27210306
>>27210388
u retards, read that shit again, anon got interested in magic

>>27211911
bullshit, I don't believe someone who hated every story in there read them all completely. thats retarded. when you read something and think its shit you don't keep shoveling it into your eye sockets.

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kek bump

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>>27212910

>>27212031
>Cykablyatovia
i like this. one more vote for Cykablyatovia

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>>27208037
Having some serious writers block, have a mini update for now.

--Noon, the next day--

>The wind blows through your mane as you ride through the skies

>Looking down, you can see various settlements and landmarks, but they're too small to actually stand out

>You're on your way to the city of Byullenstan with Starlight and Spike

>You'll be meeting your other friends there, and you'll be meeting Shining, Cadence, and Celestia when the event starts

>Interrupting your thoughts, one of your guards speak up
>"Princess, we're approaching the city. We'll be on the ground in less than ten minutes."

>Already?
>Looking at your friends, you see that they've slept through the whole trip
>You must have lost track of time

"Alright, stay on course. Tell me when we're about to land."
>The guard nods, and then continues pulling the chariot

>Ten minutes later

>"Princess, we're touching down to the city, I'd advise you be ready for a rough landing."

"Rough landi- Whaaaa!"

>The chariot rocks and stumbles as it touches the ground in the city's port

>Like someone dumping water on their heads, Spike and Starlight wake up to the chaos

>"Wha... Twilight?! W-what's happening?! Is-"

>Spike can't finish his sentence before the chariot suddenly stops in its tracks, sending him flying out of it

>You regain your composure, and focus on Spike
"Aha! Gotcha!"
>You grab him with your magic before anything bad can happen
>Placing Spike on the ground, you notice that Starlight didn't get it so bad
>She calmly exits the chariot like it was a regular thing to endure
>"C'mon, Twilight! We don't have all day!"

>>27212207
lol wut.

>>27207654
___
>soon enough, the summit was over, and all the royals there had better shit to do.
>now, you're sitting around a dinner table, not waiting for food, rather, you're waiting on the other three alicorns.
>and, here they are.
>they sit down, their regalia shifting slightly as they do this.

>celestia seems the only one interested in anything, luna looks ready to die.
>is she nocturnal?
>That'd be fucking cool for the bringer of the night to actual-
>"So… Tsar, what sh-"
"TOP OF THE MORNIN TO YA!"
>that sets them aback a little.
>you hate it when ponies rip you from magnificent thoug-
>"what shall you name the undiscovered west? The borders are very large, enough to be a colony of equestria, not just a city state"
>damnit fucking thought killers
>fucking
"Cyka's"
>"ooh, strange name, very foreign anon!"
>luna said that in-between yawns.
>welp, you're stuck with Cyka something.
"Erm, it’s a shortening of the original name I had in mind!"
>yeah, nice save; you're going to get so much slit.
"I meant to say… Cyka, blah… uh… tovia!
>"Cykablyatovia!" luna says.
>with a chirp, celestia comments in that strange 'im totally not you mom that you want to commit incest with' vibe
>"I wouldn't have it any other way, Tsar, I'll have it transcripted and the news made!"
>smooth, Cykablyatovia. fit for a tsar.

>>27214675
Post Celestia's face when she finds out what cyka blyat means.
I was the one who said that option. Yay me!

>>27214767
>when she finds out what cyka blyat means
Let us be of hoping that no russian made way of his to horseland or there not be of any russian pony.
Else would be quite of scandal.

>>27214827
Ит woyлд бe, хyх? Aт лeacт Цeлecтиa woyлдньт бe TOO aнгpы aбoyт иc.

I just searched up a russian keyboard text converter. Worked well, eh?

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>>27214860
Not as well as you think.

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>You will never introduce the M1 Abrams to equestria.
Why live.

>>27214876
Ah. Here's what I said.
>It would be, huh? At least Celestia wouldn't be TOO angry about that.
Serves me right for trying to be smart.

>>27214860
>>27214876
Jesus Christ how horrifying.

>tfw understood everything except "иc" being "that"
Khorosho.

>>27214876 (You)
>>27214900
>Tselectia
At least something good came out of it. I'm going to call her that from now on, and refuse to give context.

i like the idea of the thread coming up with meaningless but important details for this, gives it that 'made by the internet' feel.
___
A couple of days later

>its going to be a day or so before they can expand the rail the extra 55 miles.
>magic. Like, damn.
>but you are almost done with your schematics, though.
>if and only if you could actually bring metal through.
>god damn I hope this works properly.

>you push the neat little button on your table.
>it was put in via your concept and twilights magic.
>a magic battery to power a magnifier spell.
>you speak into a little hole you made.
"hey twilight, I need you to come add a little magic to my new invention please."

>its sits silent for a moment.
>"yeah, no problem anon, be right there."
>then POOF.
>she appears in the far right corner of the shop, albeit a little dizzy.

>"what did you need Tsar?"
"oh, I need this string to be made to this gage of size."
>as you say that, you point to the sheet, on it a bunch of measurements are shown.
>she looks, complies, and soon you finish your new meme.
>you run the strings, and you hold it up for her to see.

"this, is a human instrument."
>in a moment, you tune your guitar, and sit down.
"here's how you play it."
>now to think of a song, one that's sad...
>OH YES! Good idea, anon, very nice.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0WBpcCE6iYy

>>27215247
meant to link to
>>27214675

>>27215247
gonna shower like a normal person.

I've got a couple ideas for filler content already, but what would you all like to see in my story? I need ideas, things to work on. Suggestions for my story would be amazing

>>27215302
What has Cadence and Shining been up to? With them showing up in the story It might not be a bad idea to get their perspective on what's been happening since the extermination of the changeling hive.

>>27215302
There's always Celestia's descent into madness, which is my first choice

there's Anon learning the ways of the Sith, and internally disagreeing with them once he's able to hide his thoughts from his master.

Anon learning extreme light-side powers that the Jedi can't imagine by using the power of affection instead of rage or serenity. (Imagine Anon overloading an enemy's nervous system with orgasmic pleasure before giving a merciful death.)

Or he could embrace the dark side and take rageful vengeance on this who hurt him, including Rarity and Twilight.

Anon could attempt to revive Trixie with the force and fail miserably.

He could become so strong but dangerously out of control that Discord begins to fear him.

Or we can go to Darth Vader finding out about a planet of force-gifted equines who control their own sun.

>>27215555
Quads confirm one of these must happen

>>27214928
It was either that or it.
Even then, it was still hilarious to see how I messed up.

>>27215833
Dubs confirm that quads confirm that at least one of these most certainly will happen.

>>27215899
Dubs confirm that dubs confirm that quads confirm that at least one of these most certainly will happen.

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>>27215555
>Imagine Anon overloading an enemy's nervous system with orgasmic pleasure before giving a merciful death.

>>27216328
T-that's lewd Anon

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>>27216737

>>27215910
Singles confirm nothing.

>>27216893
Not if these dubs have anything to say about it

>>27216903
You fucking suck at this.

>>27216903
>>27216893
>not getting gets when you want to get a get
Come on.

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>>27216934
Sorry man, I just tripped over my words

>>27216959
I would be angry, if that were funny, but it isn't and you should be ashamed.

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>>27216992
Eventually I'll GET with the program

>>27216012
but you didn't trip over any gets.

>>27216922
You, however, are the man.

>>27217027
>mfw i can get gets

>>27217028
Sure, you got singles.

>>27217028
i also got two sets of quads in the last thread, accompanied by two trips and one dub.
it was amazing.

>>27217048
godly post

>>27217074
Can i suck your dick?

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>>27217048
>>27217074

>>27217074
>>27217048
>>27217089
fucking wut

>>27217074
gets are easy
>>27217105
pro at writing

>>27217105
did...did you link your own post?

>>27217237
This man must be able to predict the future with this much magic.

>>27217237
>>27217074
twice.

>>27217074
I didn't say no...

>>27214934
It's nice to know my mistakes made for a good outcome.

>>27217013
Carlos you sneaky shite

>>27217253
Holy shit, what?

>>27218196

Bump. I'll write when I can, what I have written for this update so far is in the pastebin

>>27218852

>>27219746

>>27220083

>>27220631

General is pretty damn empty today. Where's that update Droid?

>>27222295
I'm working on it.

>>27200574
So this is the My little Progress thread...been searching for it for a long time, started thinking scruffy was onto us now...
Thanks Droid for avoiding my filters

>>27222567
yeah, yeah, I know

>>27222567
welcome back to the thread where everyone waits on two posters to post daily updates and hope the others come back this month.

personally My Idea Of a Good time's fic is fav, good thing it's active, too.

>>27222647
eh i dont mind the slow writers, you dont need to post daily to be good

>>27222945
Or monthly, in the case of LP.

>>27222955
Or yearly, in the case of AP.
Please come back

>>27222990
Fucking kek.

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Kek bump

>>27223565
bump

>>27223565
bump..

>>27224046

Small update to prove I'm not dead again.

>Over the next few weeks, you fall into yet another routine
>In the morning, you work in the capitol building, giving your staff and your departments goals to work towards
>Along with, of course, making faces to North Point from across the light well
>In the afternoon, you monitor the progress of the city planners
>Things seem to be coming along well there
>A few distinct neighborhoods in Lancaster have been planned
>The first, and the largest, is the Modern Addition, where most of the single family construction is taking place
>To the west of that is the West Addition, where multi-unit housing is the norm
>South of that is the Market, and to the east of that is Downtown Lancaster
>Finally, in the southeast is the South Addition, where several apartment buildings are being constructed
>Hopefully, that will serve as a buffer between Downtown Lancaster and any future industrial buildings
>All this means that construction is a very good business to be in, and almost every new immigrant chooses a job in that field

>>27225059
>And after a month of solid planning, you're ready to start building the damn thing
>You begin by welding the chassis together, which doesn't take long
>Then you get to work on the powertrain
>Precision is key, so you're working slowly
>You have the many detailed drawings you've created to guide you, and things move along well everywhere
>By the time you've produced all the bolts, washers, and other small pieces you need, the State Department is working towards reaching out to other nations
>When you finish the small engine block, the Treasury Department has begun the implementation of the Arcadian Dollar
>While you work on the cooling system, the Justice Department finishes the first set of Arcadian law
>As you finish up the rest of the engine, the Commerce Department kicks into gear, managing the nation's industry, the first step of which is registering businesses
>While you begin assembling the transmission and the suspension, Lancaster's city planners release the all-new edition of The Homes of Lancaster, and ground breaks on several new buildings, including Lancaster's City Hall
>And the day you finish the powertrain, you turn thirty
>Your birthday passes with little fanfare, as you wished
>There are far more important things to do besides celebrate

>>27225068
Pastebin updated. Link: http://pastebin.com/eufFYFaw

>>27225068
But wait, there's more!

>Around the time when you start on the actual body, Arcadia's industry picks up
>You have to thank the Commerce Department for that
>Their policies have made it easy to enter Arcadian business
>The industrial district picks up a bit faster than you anticipated because of that
>Luckily, you have a few factory designs hot off the presses
>Also, in what little spare time you have left, you've been toying with an electric engine
>It's designed for a cable car, which you plan on bringing to Lancaster along with cars
>But finishing your prototype car takes priority over almost everything else

>On a nice, warm Sunday with breezes that pass through every open window in the city, you open the garage door and let sunlight shine on what you've just built
>It's incredibly primitive, by Earth standards
>The passengers are sitting in the open, the engine is small and loud, and you have to crank it to start it
>But it drives
>At least, you hope it does
>You've brought your toolkit with you, just in case
>North Point sticks her head out a window and looks down on you
>"Anon, is that what you've been working on?"
>You feel a bit guilty for not telling North Point more about your invention while you were working on it, but you've been hyper-focused recently
"Yep. This is a car."
>"A car?"
"Car. Automobile. Horseless carriage. In essence, a self-propelled wagon. And I'm about to take it for a test drive."
>"Can I come with you?"
"Of course."
>She shuts the window and, after a few seconds, trots out the back door and hops in the front seat
>You start cranking the ignition and cross your fingers
>After a few turns, the engine roars to life
>Well, more meowing than roaring
>North Point jumps back when she hears the engine behind only a thin layer of metal
>"Sweet Celestia! Is this safe?"
"Yep! Don't worry, I don't expect it to explode. Starting it is easy. Driving it is hard."

>>27225291
>You put it in gear and cautiously press on the gas pedal
>The car lurches to a start, jolting across the backyard at around walking speed
>You drive out onto the open road, and are met with shock by passerby
>All you can manage is a small wave to a few of them
>You haven't driven a car in over five years, and certainly not this one
>Your foot pushes down on the gas a bit more, and the small car is propelled faster down the street
>If you had to guess, you'd say you were moving at around five miles per hour
>You turn a corner and come face to face with a horse-drawn cart
>Both of you swerve to avoid a collision, and while your car doesn't like that too much, you don't crash
>North Point quickly recovers from the scare and goes back to being elated
>As you continue on your short, circular path, you quickly get a feel with a few things that you'll need to work on
>The thing shakes like it's epileptic, for one
>It also smokes like your aunt Doris
>But that doesn't matter! It drives!
>As you round the final corner, you see ponies canter out of their houses and onto their porches to get a look of your car
>You drive back into the garage and the car screeches to a halt
>North Point jumps out, bursting with enthusiasm
>"Anon! That was amazing! How did you even get that to work? It looks like it could never run!"
"I'll have to show you my drawings of internal combustion engines some time. Actually, here. They're right there on my desk. I need to fix a few things, but if you want to keep me company, then please do."
>"I'll be looking at these drawings."
>You begin to raise the car up on jack stands, and you hear the sound of papers shuffling behind you
>"Wow. These are very detailed. But I don't see anything too extreme, at least compared to the other things you've created."
"It'll certainly get people talking, that's for sure."
>She continues to pore over your diagrams while you adjust things and make notes of parts you need to remake

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Kek bump

Bump for more Atomic Cannons and Lightsabers.

>>27226556

>>27227779
>lightsabers

>not droids

ERMEGERD!
ER
NERD
SERM
GRERN!

>>27232806

Bump. Taking a bit of a break from the story, but as an austrian man once said...

I'll be back.

pity bump

would you be down if i popped a perscription med and wrote a short-story while high at midnight?

if i do, i need a starting point. technology isn't magic basis OFC

>>27237827
Droids anon fucks zombie Trixie in the pooper in light of new episode

>>27237827
>while high at midnight?
Anon introduces ponies to LSD.
Of course, ignoring equine intolerance to such compounds.

>>27237850
>zombie Trixie
How many memes did this episode produce?

>>27237866
desu this was the best episode of the season for me. and my waifu was in it. but it wasn't Trixie.

>>27237866
Well Trixie did die in his story... if you want to be technicool about it, make her a synthetic droid or something.

>>27237850
also, im not going to do lewd, i'm really, really bad at it. so far i've got
>LSD trips
>you can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it.
>shrimp-kabobs
>shrimp creole,
>shrimp gumbo.
>Pan fried,
>deep fried,
>stir-fried.
>There's pineapple shrimp,
>lemon shrimp,
>coconut shrimp,
>pepper shrimp,
>shrimp soup,
>shrimp stew,
>shrimp salad,
>shrimp and potatoes,
>shrimp burger,
>shrimp sandwich

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>>27237995

>>27237995
okay. so, what i'm going to do, is at 11PM PST i'll take some perscription sleep meds, write until i pass out, and post it in the morn, till then. i need some more concepts besides LSD because i've had no experience with it, i couldn't write it anywhere near proper.

>>27237925
OR just make it a synthetic zombie droid Trixie, because wew lad

>your shown down a purple corridor with crystal siding to find yourself face to face with the orange figure from earlier.
>the one whom wanted to stab you to death.
>I'll get her ass back.
>I mean, spitfire is vulnerable.
>she sleeps, I hope.
>kek, thinking about killing top gun over there is giving you a halfie.
>"you are an ominous? That’s a strange name, for a bug." said spitfire, annoyed and apparently ready to kick you again.
"wait, what? I'm anonymous. A.N.O.N. as in nameless, not reveali-"
>"we get it, anon." said Luna, walking through the door
"ok, but the next time she calls me omnomnominous I'm gonna have to slap a-"
>ho…
>you pause… what do you call a ho in Equestria?
"horse" you say slowly.
>"well, keep your reservations about domestic abuse to yourself, we've got a mount to take" said the niggerpony, gently.

>mount. Heh, they call it a mount
>"lets go anon, their waiting on /us/."
>waiting? You mean they've got a fucking welcoming party for me, everyone want's to see the guilty until proven innocent spy?
>I am the first type of this kind changeling after all.
>with your ego about the size of a hot air balloon you go with the princesses on their journey to candy cove.

Here's my meem, i'm orbiting fucking saturn right now. so bear with me.

>>27238407
>you walk out through a couple of weirdly tall but dim corridors, they stop, bind your hands, and take you down two more corridors to be faced with what looks like if a city of stone was burned down.
>in Scotland
>for some reason
>there was this certain beauty of the carnage, ash adding to the landscape -somehow…
>somethin happened here, something big.
>sort of what happens if a nuclear bomb is dropped in primitive London but really doesn’t do its job right, as if the bomb was inebriated beyond comprehension.
>you were snapped back to action of spit-fire rearing up to boot you- but you kick her in the marehood before she can kick at your temple, and she kneels over in pain.
>bitch had it coming, that’s probably going to be purple.
>bruised and painfull mare-pussy
>I have a new fetish.
>they look at you, and away, as no one had given spitfire a reason to kick you, and you move on with your day. But you do get a piercing glare from luna, whom just told you to keep domestic abuse to yourself

>oh well, they want to interrogate you, not torture you. You'll make history afterall.
>what they want you to do, essentially, is simple.
>show them how to use the ancient human technology.
>see, you were put in a program for cryogenics.
>and your were resurrected only recently when the power went out.
>its relatively 6000 years in the future, and magic has taken precedent.
>you're going to show them how to use a fucking tank, hell yeah.
>god you hope they've got the m1 abrams around here.

>>27238419
>walking forward toward the truck they've got out front
>they’ve got three ponies doing the work of one man, trying to make the truck run

"what the fuck is this, princess?"
>luna steps back
>"what do you me-"
"uncuff me"
>"you know I can't-"
"uncuff me before I lose my /fucking/ cool"
>she looks for a moment at your cuffs.
>she sighs.
>"fine."
>the cuffs come off.
>you walk over to what looks like a troop transport from WW2.
>but it's obviously modern looking.
>so it’s not that.
>you open the door on the truck, flip off the cucks in the front, pull them out of the cab, and step in.
>you look at the others, and point towards the back of the truck, you simply say one word.
"mount."
>they comply, and you turn on the truck, and floor it.
>the ponies in the back are shitting themselves, they've obviously never gone this fast before.

"Come on! We can push 110!" you say, looking at the speedometer.
>she ponies in the back are obviously uncomfortable. And they're trying to stop you, magically grabbing at random items in the truck, dice, cards, shit, the like.
>but, when magic ever tried to manifest itself on you yourself, it fizzles like a bad science experiment.

>>27238493
>soon enough you go to your first destination.
>a flight strip with a bunch of futuristic planes
>obviously American because of the USAF on the side.
>good to know they lasted to the end of human existence.
>you get into the first one you can open.
>flipping the switch, you see the controls are streamlined.
>the helmet seems to be the only thing besides handles to put your arms.
>coool, helmet must read your thoughts.
"LIFT" you shout, and the thing powers on, and goes up in the air.
>you start flying, and when you hit 88 miles an hour, you go back in time
>HHHHHHNNN

Just realised i forgot the name.

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>>27238526
>the year is 1966
>but, instead of humans
>there's ponies, ponies everywhere
>damn, and that whole going back in time thing should've been a sure bet for human world
"whatever" you say, going off to find a rich pony to mug.

>there's a good one!
>it’s a fancy female with fluffy clothes and a purple, curled mane
>you fish out your knife, and you approach her
>you push her into an alley, and stuff a knife in her mouth.
"don't swallow" you say, twirling the serrated blade in her mouth.
>you fish around for her wallet. And soon enough, you find her coin purse, full of bits.
>she's at your mercy, and you think she's getting flustered. Aroused, almost

Should you fuck the pony?

>>27238569
Why not?

>>27238669
because that'd be rape, anon

>>27238702
I dunno, she seems pretty into it.

>>27238702
That actually wouldn't be a good Idea due to time-space stuff.

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>>27238702
>Implying that's a problem

>>27238569
>rape

>>27238569
>Should you fuck the pony?
No, you shouldn't. But do it anyway.

>>27238569
Ask her nicely. You do that out of courtesy.

>>27238569
Should we?
No
Will we?
YES

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This fucking story,
God damn prescription painkillers are thefucking bomb diggity.

>>27238569
>you know what, you have a devious idea.
>one so dubiously dubious, it makes cucking the devil look tame
>ahh, college, what a mistress
"okay, listen up, ho-"
…
"-res"
>you've had her attention since you started mugging her with a military serrated steel blade.
"I'm about to rape you. If I cum first, I give back the bits."
>"Mrshg!"
>she shouts out, starting to thrash and try to get away.
>you swiftly lift her head up, and pound it on the concrete.
>that stops the thrashing.
>she's still conscious.
>okay. Here we go.
>you reach down, and pull off her panties to start.
>you've put the knife in-between your fingers and drag it up and down her face.
>you place two fingers in her candy vag, looking for her nerve.
>she's slippery, and that makes you talk dirty.
"can you feel me, my fingers, down there horse?"
>she slams her eyes close.
>she starts tearing up.
>that’s the way I navigate.
"consider this phase one of the challenge."
>"woaahhah!" she moans out
>there it is.
>I WIN!
"you've got ten seconds of this before I stop, if you cum, I take your clitoris and your bits.
>aaw, her mascara's running.
>RAPE
>RRRRAPE
>1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
>she's not hanging in there, and you pull your fingers out.
>you're not a sadist, you just like seeing people squirm.
"okay, horse, you take round one. Now its my turn.
>you remove yourself from ontop her, and take off your pants.
>she has no more will to move, recuperating from the exhaustion that is fingering.
>your pants hit the floor, and your meme is at half mast.
>oh well, you we're never really good at getting it up.
>punch her In the face, that'll work.
>naw, that's a little far.
>ooh, I still can!
>good idea, anon!
>you go in on her, and you keep going, and soon enough, your member is right above your face.
"you can take it to the throat, or I can make a hole with this knife"

>>27238811
…
"its all you."
>she opens her mouth, and starts working.
>woah
>WOAH
>JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SHE'S GOOD AT THIS.
"whooh, no fucking wonder you're loaded."
>aaaand, you're ready to cum.
>Pull out initiated.
>pulled out.
>she's gasping for air, and it seems she's got a little out of that.
>damn.
>good catch.
"okay, now that we're at the same level. We see who gets that bag of cash."
>you park at her entrance, do the 'wiggle' whistle, and thrust in.
>to the beat of "do I wanna know" by the white stripes.
>in, out.
>good shit.
>she's gone.
>orbiting fucking saturn
>monkey dick must be really euphoric.
>shit, you told dale from high school that you'd be wearing a fedora when you make love.
>oh well.
>hmm, she's probably cum already.
>you better stop thinking about carnival rides and get back to the ride at hand
>oh,
>oh
>OH
"THERE WE GO"
>you furiously jizz inside her, making you prideful as fuck.
>hers makeup running, her eyes watering like hoses, her noze running, all the fluids coming from her could be sold at retail.
>your could be sold at industrial.
>hell yeah.

>you grab the bits and get the fuck out.
>counting the money, it's quite a bit for the time.

>you head off to start your new life of being a serial rapist.

Next time there's a green drout i'll get spun out and write more to this

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>>27238820

>>27238830
lol wut. please explain this to the writefag who's approaching an altitude of 80million feet.

>>27238840
Last thread there was an Anon (Me) who made NuclearAnon laugh. He wanted a screencap, and that picture was a post that made him laugh.

>>27238847
i thought it was from a general a while back with celestia asking anon for help with a gryphon conflict. and he makes a nuke.

>>27238854
You mean last thread? Yeah.

>>27238840
80 million feet is about 24384 kilometres. I could arrange that in Kerbal sometime.

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>>27238867
fucking bannannas
>pic unrelated is my workspace

>>27238830
I miss NuclearAnon.
His story was pretty good

>>27225297
>Over the next few weeks, you continue your work
>You took advantage of the Commerce Department's new patent office to patent your new engines as a legal safety measure
>You're also changing up Lancaster's infrastructure a bit
>Cable cars look like a better option every day, and plans to lay tracks in the center of major streets are underway
>You also have a few ideas about alleys, but those might have to wait
>Then again, it would be better to get it over with now
>You ran the idea by your city planners, and they urged you to go ahead with the idea
>In other news, Lancaster rang in the new year a few days ago
>It's now 1906
>When you still lived with Twilight, you asked her about Equestria's dating system
>Apparently, they started counting from Discord's banishment
>But despite the celebrations, you didn't attend any formal New Year's parties
>You were too busy working
>There have been a few things you've needed to improve on your prototype
>The suspension needs a lot of improvements, for one
>And there are lots of other small things you should add
>Mostly gauges, but they'd serve a purpose

Small update before I go to bed. I'm very tired right now, so it's not my best, but it's better than nothing at all.

>>27239262
>inb4 World War Pone happens

>>27239262
Fuck you, Scotty!

>>27240922

>>27241598

>>27238879
>Nxzt phantom.
My first build was with one of those. God i hated it so much it was too big.

Bump for more Nyx.

page 10

>>27239262
>Over the next six months, you begin experimenting with new designs
>You've created prototype after prototype in trying to refine your car enough to sell
>Yeah, that's your plan
>You're gonna bring mass-produced cars to the world in all their glory
>The lines for cable cars have all been laid, and the first few cars are being built in a factory you've purchased from the company that's building them
>Which is the city planning department, who, right now, is responsible for all new construction in the city
>So, technically, you just bought a building from yourself
>Regardless, the first few cars should appear on Lancaster's streets soon enough
>And so will the first cars
>Now that you feel comfortable with the cars you've built yourself, you're ready to start selling them as soon as possible
>And, with your mental list ready, you step out of the garage, clean yourself up, and make the short walk to the capitol building

>>27245385
>You step in the bustling lobby and make your way to the elevators
>There's a small wait, but soon enough, one of the two elevators in the building reaches the lobby, and you step on
"Sixth floor, please," you tell the operator
>And with the push of a lever, the cab ascends
>You don't have to wait for any other stops, because floors 2 through 5 are mostly unused
>But on the sixth floor, the Commerce Department works around the clock to keep Arcadian industry satisfied
>And one of those things is registering businesses
>The registrar's office is right by the elevators, so the walk isn't that long
>You knock on the open door and the registrar looks up
>She smiles when she sees you
>"Oh, come in, Mr. President! What do you need!"
"Call me Anon. Anonymous, if you must. And I'm here to register a business."
>"Well, then let's get started!"
>She grabs a fresh sheet of paper with a talon and places it in front of her
>"I'm sure you're familiar with all of the legal aspects of registration, so we can skip over that. First, I'll need the name of the company."
"Arcadian Motor Company."
>She writes the name down, before asking another question
>"Main address?"
>You think for a moment
"To be determined."
>"Alrighty then. Category of operations?"
"Manufacturing."
>"Address of any means of production?"
"48 East Luna Street."

>>27245396
>After answering a few more questions and signing your name, you have an official business license
>And, just like that, you've created AMC
>Now, you just need an office
>Luckily for you, there's a stretch of small, brand new office buildings in the Market District on the west edge of town
>You've leased a small suite of offices, and you've hired employees
>There's your Sales Manager, the Advertising Manager, the Finances Manager, and two engineers
>And today, it's time to orient them
>You park your prototype car in front of the building, walk up to the third floor, and open the small door into the office
>The building is brand new and it shows
>The paint looks like it's still wet, and the hardwood floors look perfect
>Someone calls to you from the conference room
>"Anonymous, we're in here!"
>You walk down the hallway and into the modest room, where four ponies and one griffon sit at the large table
>They greet you with smiles and cordiality
"Welcome to the Arcadian Motor Company. During your interviews, I explained the general direction we'll be heading in, but now it's time to elaborate. Right now, we're about to introduce something revolutionary to the world. The automobile can travel long distances incredibly easily, and can usher in a new age of technology. But, well, I guess the best way to see what I mean is through experiencing it. The Arcadia A-6, my sixth prototype car, is just outside. I was planning on giving you all a tour of the factory, and we can drive there."
>You lead the group out of the building and they pile into the car, shutting the doors behind them
>Hooray for bench seats!
>You turn the key and the engine roars to life, much more refined than your previous iterations

>>27245409
>You put the car in first gear, and off you go
>Most citizens have seen a car in any of your six designs since you started experimenting, but heads still turn everywhere you go
>The five ones in the car are thoroughly amazed
"Excited? It is a hell of a machine, that's for sure. This is the A-6, like I said before. The only difference from the A-5 is that this one has a closed body. The A-5 had a canvas top that you could take off if you wanted to. But, anyways! This is the closest I have to what we'll be marketing. Of course, there will always be room for improvement. This damn thing still has carburetors. And when the first few come off the line, you'll get a chance to own one of the first."
>You stop in front of the factory and open the door
"And here we are! Right now, the factory is being used to build Lancaster's streetcars, but soon, I'll be implementing an assembly line style. Basically, that's when the product moves instead of the workers. It saves money."
>You push open the doors and are greeted with the factory floor in all its glory
>Over the next hour, you walk your employees through the factory, and then make the drive across town to the offices
"Luckily, that didn't take too long. I'll be here for all of today to make sure everything gets started."
>The griffon raises his hand
>"What exactly are we starting?"
"Right! Glad you asked. Greyson, you're our Finances Manager. Make sure we don't go bankrupt. Blue Midnight, you're in charge of sales. Right now, that pretty much just means the cable car deal, so start working on prices for the A-7. Velvet Rain, you're going to market the A-7. Silver Sketch and Reliant Rocket, you'll be responsible for the engineering side of things. Each year will essentially be a new model, and you should make any improvements that you deem necessary. With that in mind, let's start the day."
>For the rest of the day, you begin your usual management

>>27245416
>It's hardly micromanaging, considering how little there is to manage, but you make sure everything runs smoothly
>Everyone leaves at the end of the confident in their new line of work

Pastebin updated.

>>27239316
No World War Pone yet.

>>27239625
Love you too.

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>>27213958
>As you step out of the chariot, you notice the looks the locals are giving you
>They're a mixed crowd, consisting of many species found around Equus
>Some of then stare with their mouths agape
>Others point at the chariot and laugh

>"Look at that thing! How does it even fly?"

>A minotaur looks up
>"Here comes another one!"

>Another chariot lands nearby
>After your friends step out, the crowd begins to scatter

>"BYCELESTIATHATRIDETOOKFOREVERANDI'MSOGLADTHATIT'SFINALLYOVERSOTHATICANBEWITHMYBESTFRIENDTWILIGHT!"

>As soon as she sees you, Pinkie rushes over and wraps you in a hug

"Yes Pinkie, I'm glad to see you too! How was the trip?"

>Pinkie releases you, and Applejack approaches

>"Besides the length, and dealing with miss sleepy over here, Ah'd say it was quite tolerable."

>She notions towards Rainbow Dash

>"Hey! It's not my fault we had to sit in that can for six hours!"

"Now now, it's not the time to argue like that! We have an exciting day ahead of us girls! Why don't we go explore the city?"

>They agree in unison, and join you at your side

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>>27245759
>Turning around, you begin to take in the scale of the environment around you

>It's just like Anonymous described it

>Flying boats, towers touching the sky, you name it

>It's an oasis of technology

>"Hey Twilight, what's that thing?"

>Looking towards Rainbow, you see her pointing towards one of Anon's robots

>No wait, what were they called?

>Oh, right. Droids.

>It's approaching fluttershy, with three of the more familiar ones behind it

>It looks different from the ones you've seen before, almost waddling rather than legitimately walking

>You can barely hear one of the locals speak to his friend

>"Uh-oh, here comes security. Newcomers must've forgotten their passports."

>"How delightful! It's been too long since the law got involved with anything like this, let's watch!"

>The droid stops its approach, and speaks

>"Welcome to the Confederacy of Independent Systems! Scanners indicate that this one is not listed as a citizen of this country. Papers, please, or security measures will be taken."

>"P-papers? What do you mean?"

>The droids in the back raise their weapons

>"Woah, let's get out of here!"

>The surrounding crowd begins to disperse


Small story dump b/c green drought

I'll try to write more later

>>27245767
Great job as usual

>>27215247
___
>she's bobbing her head.
>you finish, and put the guitar down.
>"human music! I like it!" she says.
>you sigh."only if i could sing, I could actually show you the full song."
>she giggles, and you look back at her.
>"mr creator, can build an instrument that sounds that beautiful, but you can't sing?"
"what?" you say, a little indignant.
>"I should help you sing, some time, all the ponies around here sing like it's no problem."
"yeah, I've seen you bunch break out into song before."
>you say, moving your hand back and fourth to symbolize her friends.

"anyway, there's one more thing to show you before I head off into my new country."
>you reach down underneath your coat, and pull out your hand gun from your harness.
"twilight, I want you to, erm, magically record this and send it to the princesses, is that do-able?"
>she thinks for just a moment, before speaking
>"yeah, its no problem. Anon. let, let me go find that book."
>and with that, she scampers off.

>ever since you showed her science, she's sort of, moved away from magic.
>forgetting more and more spells in exchange for knowing how to build engines and create explosives.
>I mean, her devotion shows no bounds.
>I mean, none at all.
>she needs to be a planner of sorts.
>naw, she can't be part of cykablyatovia, she's a princess as is.
>more important shit than industry?
>I think knot.
"its funny because it's a pun!" you say out loud to nobody in particular.
>soon twilight returns.

>"okay! I've got the spell right here, what do you want to record?
"oh, just, erm, follow me, lets find a watermelon or something."

>>27246877
___
>twenty five minutes later you finally find the one watermelon in town.
>it seems the rest were bought for a comedy act involving a mallet and watermelon.
>and the most basic of jokes.

"okay, take that melon and put it on that stump."
>"stump?"
>uhh
"uhh, I swore there was a stump there."
>you say, pointing at an area by a couple of trees.
>"I'll, just, put it on the ground over there."
>as she says this, the green orb floats over to the ground and plants itself.

"okay, start recording, twilight."
>as you say this, you pull the hand gun out, crank back the slide, and look at twilight.
"we good?"
>"yeah"
>here we go.
>you point the gun at the watermelons general direction, and fire off seven rounds in immediate fashion.
>BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!
>Twilight started screaming a bit ago, and she stops as you un-chamber the 8th round, and pocket it.

"that’s what humans use instead of spears and blades."
>you walk on over to the watermelon, and at the sight of it twilight get squeamish.
>pointing at the pieces left, you look at twilight.
"imagine that was another pony."
>she gags while spouting obscenities
"something to show you why I prefer this world to mine. I mean, at least when it comes to the aspect of other people".

"aesthetically, I like the human world, technologically, human, politically, socially, here."
>"is it because of these, anon?" she says, holding up the 9mm.
"no, It's not the guns, it’s the fact that the people behind them, a lot of the time, have too much of a trigger finger."
>…
"in Cykablyatovia, we're going to have a lot of these, at least, to defend ourselves, so- I guess that makes me a hypocrite. But, take that to the princesses and princes of the world. Put some cool caption on it like, you don't fuck with the Tsar."

"I'm gonna head to sugarcube corner, you, go do what you do."
>and with that, you go get yourself a drink.

jesus christ i was high last night, i apologise to everyone in this thread.

>>27246888
Blaster > Gun

<3