Satyr Abomination Thread #141: Holiday Cheer Edition

Fuck drakes, Utah, Timber, Hotshot, Ace, Rory, Ambrosia, Alex, Tonbo, Thorn, Thistle, and Tonsils Edition

What do you hope to see whenever you enter this thread?
Porn?
Incest?
Feels?
Cute things?
Family stuff?
Adventures?
Something else?
What is the number one thing you hope to see when you visit this place?

>>25646653
Shit, I guess that means I need to write green featuring as many of these kids as possible.

>>25646676
All of the above.

The number one thing I hope to see is a lack of people bitching.

>>25646676
When I enter a thread, I hope for a pic or two and maybe a well written story.
I would love more chatter about the background satyrs, so to speak, so they aren't so background-y.
In reality, it's all just a dream

>>25646717

So who is your favorite background Satyr? What do you like about them? What type of stuff do you see them doing both on a day-to-day basis and a long term basis?

Though if we talk about background Satyrs enough, then they become popular, and then people shitpost about them, and then we talk about others, and the cycle continues

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Viable story points for a variety of plot points.

>How is a satyr's family life? Not just their relationship with their parents/siblings, but what goes on in their day-to-day lives.
>What are their aspirations? Even little things can be teased out to become something exciting and beautiful.
>Are they living a full life? Not just a happy one, but one filled with adventure, fear, tears, joy, scraped knees and the occasional busted nose.
>What do I think would look really cool/awesome/cute/sweet?

>>25646531
I actually proposed that she has a distaste for satyrs without a relatively normal upper body (pegasus satyrs are chill though), and the more beastial type satyrs like Alex, Emma, Kimmy, Kaos, Laika, most drakes, and Oliver. It just messes with her expectations when the half-human part is a tad less in other satyrs. She doesn't neccesarily think it's good, but she can't help it. Luckily she isn't really in contact with any of the ones mentioned above, so people don't really know that.

>>25646653
Welp, that's all my repertoire. Guess I have no green or art to contribute now. So long, Satyr. It's been real. http://youtu.be/SIYvkGJHr08

>>25646676
Anything. I just like satyrs. Cute, lewd, fun, sad, many, few, any. I like satyrs.

>>25646742
I really love Eventide the most, but Volupia, Baelnum, and Annie sneak up close behind
>Eventide: Super fucking nice, knows how to forgive, well-developed story, Archery short term, AA counselor long term

Running out for work tho, that's all I have time for

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goodnight sweet sat edition

>>25646768
>>25646796
I will remember satyr. Even with everyone jumping ship, I'll remember.

>>25646796
Hope is just pretending to be dead.

>>25646796

Here lies Satyr
They never scored.

>>25646768
>Not posting https://youtu.be/yUWgE0EVQ9c

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>>25646830
My fellow impressive monster of great size

>>25646830

>Not http://youtu.be/VoZ_eupjzYg

>>25646676
Incest and/or incest feels. I don't mind porn either, but we pretty much never get any of that.
Other things I can enjoy if they're well written and interesting in some way.

>>25647086
>Incest =/= Porn
>Incest feels
... There are a couple things I want to say, but they would require using textbook definitions and a long paragraph of explanation. So, instead, I'm just gonna silently wonder "why?".

>>25647150
>Incest always = porn
>There can be no feels in incest stories
I'm just gonna silently wonder "how can this person be that stupid?"

>>25647150
I bet you're that guy that always complains about almost everything that gets posted here.

>>25647198
Incest by definition is sex between people who are related. If you are thinking romance, you're mistaken, you dumb ass.

>>25647221
Not that guy, only ever really complain about incest shipping, even then not that often.

>>25647239
>Incest by definition is sex between people who are related.
Doesn't mean that there can't be any feels in there.

>>25646676
Anything that isn't porn for the sake of porn.

>>25646679
And fuck this guy, too Edition

Satyr thread: it kills itself

>>25646679
What if that was his plan from the beginning?

>>25647302
I wrote some incest with Dawn and Radiance and didn't have porn in it. People still didn't like it.

>>25647475
>People
Meaning those two or three anons who are always shitting up the thread with their complaints about incest, <insert fetish they don't like> or <insert satyr(s) here> getting too much attention despite barely being discussed at all in reality?

>>25647523
Or it could just mean that the story >>25647475 wrote wasn't all that good?

>>25647550
That's also a possibility.

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>>25647550
>>25647573
I don't know, I thought it was okay in terms of quality, I think

>>25647550
>>25647573
The only way to prove this is if >>25647475
reposts his story so we may read it once again.

>>25647550
Or the premise wasn't that good.
>>25647573
>>25647603
>>25647630
Let's be honest, Satyr is already niche. Trying to pull off a niche Game of Thrones-esque romance of siblingxsibling is even more niche. Going niche in niche isn't guaranteed to get people to like it.

>>25647603
Which story was it?

>>25647736
Dawn had a date with a royal from Saddle Arabia and didn't like it. Then she went in Radiance's room to complain about it.

>>25647790
Repost it?

>>25647839
>Repost
If it is recent, that'd be a waste of posts. I'd reccomend linking through desustorage

>>25647856
...Then do so?

>>25647856
It's not like there's a limit to how often we can make new threads, so I don't see why that matters. Then again, nor does it matter if he posts it again or just posts a link to it, as long as we can read it.

>>25647673
I'd read a Game of Satyr story, where all the major satyr families have their own agendas and shit.

>>25647856
https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24842323/#24860501

>>25647856

I remember it. It was about a month or so ago. Not really recent but not ancient.

I was one of the nay-Sayers honestly. It started out really cute and after it took a sharp turn towards incest I lost all interest in reading it. I know different strokes for different folks but it ruined what I would have considered an incredibly cute story.

>>25647879
Well, that would have wars, backstabbings, alliances that will eventually be broken, and raving psycopathic assholes. Not just the secret royal incest subplot.

>>25647929
Ahh, so shoehorning in sexual instead of building up to or around it from the beginning, huh?

>>25647879

>aw fuck i accidentally killed every character anyone cared about
>time to get fat as fuck and not write a word for fifteen years

>>25647960

No, it had to do with the incest in the first place. I thought it was going to be a story about Radiance comforting his sister after a bad date.

I never wanted to take a trip to Incestville.

>>25648049
That's your problem, not the writefag's.

>>25648049
That's what I meant by the shoe horning.
>"Aww, that's so sweet and comfort- aaaand they're fucking out of nowhere. God dammit."

>>25648187
But the most they do in the story is kiss.

>>25648276
Oh? Reading >>25648049
Made me assume it went the full nine yards. Again, which is why I kept using the term "shoe horning"

>>25647475
Was it the one where Celestia was trying to convince Dawn to go on a date with the a potential suitor, then later had Dawn explaining to Radiance that while the date went well and she liked the guy, she didn't intend to see him again because "he wasn't you"? Because I liked that one.

OK guys we know anon doesn't like incest

Fortunately however anon also loves incest

>>25647879

>"I hit him," fretted Dawn, wringing her hands nervously as she paced back and forth within her private chambers.
>She turned to her guard, the one whom she trusted more than any other and who'd remained loyal through thick and thin.
>"Ser Swift, do you think... He'll be so angry when he gets back... I woke the dragon, didn't I?"
"Can you wake the dead, princess? Your brother Radiance was the last dragon, and he died in the Everfree. Sirius is less than the shadow of a snake."

This probably won't make sense to anybody that doesn't get the reference.

>>25646636
Would Twilight go after satyr kids?
Maybe

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>>25648659
What do you mean? Like training them like Chiron?

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>>25648677
I meant like pic related
the pic did not upload for some reason.

>>25648724
She probably wouldn't mind helping Rory let off some pressure when his hormones start raging.

>>25648973
>"Hey, ma--"
>"Orgasmata!"
>"HHgnghgNHUGHGGHHHUUUUUH!"
>"Learned it from your grandmother. She used it on my brother all the time."
>"N-no fair..."
>"Night night, sweetie~"
>"So sleepy... zzz..."

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>>25649076

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What about stories with satyrs trying to deal with their struggles?

>Another day begins, another day Oliver stirs from his nest, assembled from fondly remembered quilts, plushes, and pillows.
>Oliver was never accustomed to the day life of ponies. It's difficult to get used to anything when you feel you could fall asleep at a moment's notice.
>A good portion of Oliver's life is spent during the night. Ponyville may be snoring by then, but the streets of Canterlot never cease to die down. Even when he goes back home at around five in the morning.
>With the strength of a mouse and the speed of molasses, Oliver outstretches his wings and sighs as the sunlights hit his back muscles.
>He, to his regret, crawls out of the pile of comfort and tries to get ready for school. Just because most owls are dimwits doesn't mean this one has to be.
>Oliver slowly makes his way across the room to come to another pile on the floor, this time made up of miscellaneous clothing items.
>Nothing happens right away. Rather he stares vacantly at the small hill for a quarter of a minute, blinks once, and then sighs.
>This, in fact, is the most difficult part of the day. Oliver sticks his talon in there and starts to randomly pull out clothes.
>A shirt? Oliver tries to get the shirt over his head, but there's no way he could squeeze those massive wings of his in the tiny sleeves.
>A large wife-beater, then? No, Oliver tried living the gangsta life once, and only after Thistle showed him a rather catchy hip-hop music video.
>After figuring out he would never rank up enough street cred that allowed him to keep his stuffed animals, he decided that occupation wasn't for him.
>Pants? Oliver bends over and grabs each leg at once. After hopping and flapping around to get his talons through, he's thrawted by the tiny zipper he can't get up and a button he can't...button.
>He lets out an annoyed sputter. He could always ask for assistance, but that made him rather uncomfortable.
(1/2)

>>25649267
>Honestly, with his tuft of his feathers covering most of his body, it would be more conveniant for him to abandon clothes entirely. Ponies and griffons do it, so it must be socially acceptable.
>But his Mum is insistant that he cover *something* up. There's no way no son of hers would go outside indecent like that.
>She'd let him have an earful if that were to happen, and though Oliver would never speak ill of his mother, she runs her mouth enough for the both of them and then some.
>With a quiet yawn or two Oliver slowly tosses potential outfits to the side, until finally his keen eyesight spots a tiny corner of navy blue fabric peeking out from a sombrero from Applelooss.
>It's his favorite poncho! Perfect, exactly what he needed.
>Using the tips of his wings, Oliver pulled it up and wiggled his head in until it drapped over his body and exposed his chest tuff.
>Success. Now he's ready for the school day. Sure, room cleanliness was sacrificed for the sake of modesty, but that's expected. We can't always be winners.
>But when Oliver is about to strut out the door, he doesn't expect one of his scarves to tangle around his ankles and trip him.
>He falls head first onto the floor with soft thud (the poof broke his fall) and lies there on the ground.
>It's around that time his dreary braain also realizes that he forgot to take his bath and brush his teeth. In a tiny bathroom and a tiny tub.
>Oliver takes a deep breath and sighs. It's just one of those days.
(2/2)

>>25649280
Excellent little short, anon.It gave me a sensible chuckle

Sooo anyone interested in more satyr charts?

I want to see hopes cocksucking

>>25650599
Sure, but maybe include a brief explanation of why you chose what you did.

>>25650914
Will it be okay if it's a drake?

>>25650969
Not to the people who are triggered by drakes, but who cares about them? All they do is complain?

So what random head canons do you have?

Male Pegasus Satyrs usually have harrier chests than other males

>>25651931
A few unicorn satyrs suffer from rare but sudden, mildly floor scorching bursts of magical energy.

>>25651931

alcohol is the only thing keeping a satyrs incredible emotional pain and apathy from causing them to constantly vomit

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>>25650914
Alright, first up is Broil.

>Physical Attributes:
I'll makes this one quick since I've said it a number of times. Drakes have high constitution and endurance with ok strength, each of the stats are higher due to a good amount of training. Broil has a curvy, toned figure with average fashion sense.

>Mental Attributes:
When the Femanon homeschooled the Fizzle twins, most of their studies consisted of geography, arithmatic, some human philosophy, a scattering of basic natural sciences, and intermediate alchemy (potion making). A good portion of schoolwork came from studying the Bestiary, an encyclopedia containing knowledge of all the world's known and speculated monsters. She has modest creativity and likes to play the hand-me-down guitar her mother gave her. She's considerably more animated than her brother and likes to get burn her energy by running, sparring, or helping her father out in the kitchen.

>Social Attributes:
Broil often acclimates better to change and social environments, but it took quite an amount of time to get like that due to how distant they were from regular society. Still, she's comfortable around people once she gets to know them and is often glad to get invited to gatherings and the like (and would much rather that another hour of study). Both of the Fizzle twins are quite spiritual due to their mother's upbringing and have an eerie sense of dread that they'll both burn together in the afterlife.

>>25652591
>Desires:
Now, let's get this clear: Broil really likes beating up monsters. She likes the heartpounding thrill of battle and the unadultarated feriocity she lets out during a hunt. There's nothing better than hearing the praise from the local townsfolk after slaying a beast (other than a fat sack of bits). In fact, Broil often plays with the thought of going abroad to train with the minotaurs to become the coolest, most famous monster hunter of all time (atleast until she starts making plans and her laziness kicks in). But in reality, while she'd love to be able to travel the world, amass her hoard, and keep the civilians safe from the terrors of the night, at some point she'd want to settle down and start a quaint family with her dearest companion, someone that can just understand her and be there when she isn't her usual self at times. And the children, goodness gracious, she really likes the prospect of being a mother and sharing her stories and experiences with them. Even if she can't fathom how long it'll be, actually starting a family would be a far greater thrill to her than fighting for her life.

>Vices and Virtues:
As part dragon, both of the Fizzle twins have strong inclinations to some things than usual. Maybe, for instance, they'll have the tendency to obssess over their allowances and scurry all over the house to look for unturned bits. Or the fact that often, on some days, they'll need a much longer amount of time to relieve certain urges they'd get and feel an intense need for intimacy. And other times they'd be aggrivated to the point where they'd either stay silent to everyone or flare up at the smallest thing and would resort to hard sparring to release all the built up aggression they'd feel. But Femanon (like most of the drake mothers) disciplined them well enough that their inclinations don't spiral out of control.

I've got another on Simmer if you want to see

>>25652686
>Broodmother Broil
oh
y e s

Though that does raise the question: did her mom have eggs? Will Broil have eggs?

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>>25652749
Her mom didn't have any eggs, no, they both developed in the womb. As for Broil...she isn't sure. Satyr physiology is particularly fuzzy and that's especially true for any non-conventional abominations (griffons, changelings, birds, etc.)

>>25652899
Okay, one more question
Is Broil a Memeblade or Meme Glaive shitter?

>>25652918
She's neither, it's not that type of Monster Hunter. It's more skin to Witcher/Bloodborne than MH4 (as a pleb I still haven't gotten past the begining of MH3U...)
But if you want a legit answer, Memeblade.

>>25651134
This.

>>25652686
>she'd want to settle down and start a quaint family with her dearest companion, someone that can just understand her and be there when she isn't her usual self at times
Simmer, presumably?

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>>25653091
Nn-nnooooo? Yes. But that's not stated on the chart, and I wanted it to be open ended.

>>25651931
Salai supplies the drakes (and Garret) with high quality crystals grown from her father's crystal garden. For Garret and Sapphire, it's just great accessories for clothes. For drakes though...eesh. It isn't pretty.
>>25652181
Mumble must hold her liquor like a fucking champ then.

When Simmer and Broil finally settle down and start a family, will they teach their kids the art of monster hunting?

>>25653817
Only if they really want to and if they can't see themselves doing anything else. Both of them would probably rather see their offspring take up something safer, since they both started out young and had a couple of brushes of death. Which is exactly why they'd plea to Celestia to re-instate Canterlot's monster agency. There's barely a handful in the entire country.

>>25653817
Are there monsters left?

>>25653817
I really fucking hope you don't mean that they settle down with each other.

>>25654718
I doubt they'll be able to permanently exterminate every monster in Equestria. Or even bother trying. I imagine they'd stick to hunting those that cause problems for the population or that they get hired to kill.

>>25654787
Of course I do. Who else would they settle down with?

>>25654807
You incestfags are the worst fucking cancer.

>>25655366
no u

>>25651931

Earth Satyrs are usually more stocky in build and have a more full body.

Pegasus Satyrs usually are more athletic in build or long limbed.

Unicorn Satyrs are normally more petite or elf-like in build.

No one cares enough about Crystal Satyrs and there is only one Bat Satyr so I don't have much on them.

Though this is not completely set in stone, some Satyrs do break the mold.

>>25654807
Ivy and Glimmer. For fucks sake, literally anyone else even.

>>25655366
Agreed. At least the ones who try to push it as more than porn.

>>25655848
What do Ivy and Glimmer even have in common with the drakes?

>>25655883
>Ivy
Mom has a strong fear of drakes. Ivy falling for one leads to many funny "suburban white mom" moments. Also it's cute.

>Glimmer
Has lived with a dragon/drake all/most of her life. Plus, lesbian sub Glimmer wingles the dingle.

>>25655883
If I had to describe how those two for the most part or explain them, it usually ends with, "for some reason." Use that same line of logic.

>>25655899
>do what makes your dick tingle
At least you're honest about it. Good on you.

I think there should be an Satyr Adventurers Club just to put them all in the same room.

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Let's talk Pear and his crush on Wheelie

>>25656612
... Why is pear wearing a boob-window sweater?

>>25656612
Literally who and who?

>>25656612
>Wheelie
You mean Ves?

>>25656635
It was a dare

>>25656637
Metaphorical nobodies who exist the outlying fog of the thread and never have anything written/drawn about them.

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>>25656664

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>>25656664
>

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>>25656664
>nothing written
That's just because the thread only cares about [insert main focus satyr] and nothing else
>nothing drawn
You must be a decent level of retarded

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>>25656664

>So i said "who are you" and the poor thing just goes "i don't even know" before turning to dust in my fingers

>>25656637
Applebloom son, Scootaloo daughter.

>>25656657
Who was cruel enough to dare that?! Peach?! ... Sugar Chimes?

>>25656723
Hey, maybe you two have that in common.

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>>25656754
Sugar Chimes, the girl who won't put her fake ears away

>>25656766
She just wants to be Kawaii Des. Just like every unique weeb" teenage girl.

>>25656777
Do you think it was Tonbo that introduced her to the stuff while babysitting?
>Little one, it's ok. The good guys always win, you'll see.

>>25656777
Nice trips

>>25656638
I honestly like this more than her current name.
Do you guys really like the name Wheelie?

>>25656828
At least Wheelie is somewhat related to a scooter. I think the worst named satyr is still Lola.

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>>25656855
>Lola
>referring to Lola Bunny
>referring to her role in Space Jam
Eh, could be woise

>>25656866
>>Lola
>>referring to Lola Bunny
>>referring to her role in Space Jam
Exactly. Not even pony related. Just an autistic fucker who wasn't very creative

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>>25656889
Good point

>>25656855
Wheelie just sounds so ridiculous. Ves at least sounds like a proper name, and it can be related to scooters if you imagine that it's short for Vespa.

>>25656889
So every single name MUST be pony related now all of a sudden? Tell me then, what would you have named her?
>Just an autistic fucker who wasn't very creative
Wheelie doesn't sound very creative either.

>>25656908
Better than her original name of Pollo. As in, the spanish word for fucking chicken. As for Wheelie, you can always nickname her as Ellie. Just like you're doing for Vespa.

>>25656925
>Better than her original name of Pollo. As in, the spanish word for fucking chicken
Still more original than Wheelie.

How about everyone just votes for it?
http://strawpoll.me/6176179

>>25656969
Because no matter what happens, someone is going to be upset over it

>>25656969
>Using strawpoll
... The EASIEST public polling website to abuse. Jesus Christ... How new are you? Strawpoll is never a viable option. Ever.

>>25656979
Then, assuming many people votes, the ones who'll be upset will be the minority, no? While the majority is happy with the name she gets.

>>25657008
Do you have a better idea? It's not like everyone is gonna post their thoughts here.

>>25657025
>Majority is all that matters
This is why people keep leaving the thread.

>>25657056
Underrated post

>>25657056
I thought it was because the minority kept shouting loudly about the things they like and want, drowning out everything else?

Ok, I was just trying to start some friendly, non-main-satyr chatter, but it seems I've flung us into another argument. Shame.

Which satyrs do you think would be the best or worst cuddlers?

>>25657099
Timber and Utah

>>25657110
Ivy and Broil.

For fuck's sake...

>>25657099
Plot twist
>>25657110
>>25657122
Have to cuddle each other.

>>25657132
>Timber and Utah cuddle
Awk-ward.
>Ivy and Broil cuddle
AWK-WAAARD boner!

Why is it that whenever someone posts a discussion prompt, it's almost never about something that involves the parents? And it always seems to end up being about sex one way or another.

>>25657167
Why don't you shut the fuck up and leave, faggot?

>>25657167
>parents
Most satyrs are orphans.

>>25657167
>Never about the parents
How about you tell us about YOUR parents then, eh?

>Involves sex
...
>>25657145
This is gonna get really gay, really fast.

>>25657167

I'd say it's easier to talk about the kids rather than the parents.

IE how the parents met, how their relationships blossomed and all that. Or what some of the parents would end up doing for a living. Or even how the various parents would get along with each other.

Here.
A prompt for all flavors.

>Mom/dad said they're taking satyr on their first nature hike! How does it go?
>You caught your children in their room fooling around. How do you react?
>Satyr has to pick out a Hearth's Warming gift for someone they like. Who might that be? What are they getting?
>Which parents meet up just for their kids to have play dates?
>Which drake has the worst breath?
>Satyr is on a date. Do they fuck it up?
>You hear loud squelching from the upstairs bathroom. Do you choose to investigate?

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>satyr thread celebrates the holidays

>>25657172
>>25657176
What the fuck crawled up your asses and died?

>>25657194
Okay, but when I said "involving the parents", I was more talking about satyr and parent interactions.

>>25657205

>You caught your children in their room fooling around. How do you react?

Shotgun wedding.

>>25657207
>Crawled up your ass
Was actually just trying to make a point about how parents are usually not the focus in discussions. If I came across as offensive, I apologize.

>>25657205
>>Mom/dad said they're taking satyr on their first nature hike! How does it go?
>>You caught your children in their room fooling around. How do you react?

I may combine these two and write something for it over the next few days, or else I'll go to bed and totally forget about it by tomorrow.

Stop reading here if your autism is triggered by any of the following.

>Implied light incest (kissing and cuddling)
>The royal satyrs.
>Dawn, Radiance and Selena being half-siblings.
>Skub

Basically Anon walks in on Radiance and Selena kissing and decides that the two of them could do with getting out of the palace and enjoying some good, healthy time spent in the great outdoors to straighten them out and strengthen their moral fibre. Celestia, not aware of the reason for the sudden impromptu camping trip, insists that her husband take Dawn along too so that she doesn't feel left out.

>>25657205
"Ace, let's go. Hiking time."
>Your daughter mumbles something unintelligible as you pick her up.
>She doesn't fight getting dressed, thank goodness, but she doesn't put much effort into helping either.
>That's fine though.
>After bundling her up against the encroaching cold and grabbing some water and a snack for the trail, the two of you head out into the brisk fall air.
>You shudder a little, smiling as you approach the trees, now awash in vibrant colors.
"Not bad, huh? I really love this time of year."
>Bouncing along behind you, Ace mutters something.
>You keep on regardless, doing your best to make conversation
"Yeah, it is a little cold, but it's gorgeous enough that I can give it a pass."
>The trail out behind the house you share with your daughter and spouse is well worn from your summer treks into the wilderness.
>Good thing too, you've found all sorts of things to point out and share with Ace, which you do at length.
>As you're admiring a creek trickling over the edge of a small outcropping however, you feel a tug on your shirt.
>Ace
>Turning, you see her little outstretched hand pointing off into the distance, the infant on your back babbling excitedly
>Following her finger, you see
>And you smile.
"Yeah sport, that's a deer. Good eye."
>Ace chuckles, sputtering half-words as her fingers thread back into your hair.
>The infant strapped to your back continues bouncing and burbling along behind you as you head deeper into the woods.
>There's really nothing like father-daughter bonding time.

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>>25657287
This! I like this idea a lot, =!

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>>25657287
>Skub

>>25657287

>"Dad! Daddy! Come swim in the lake with me!"
"Not now Dawn, I have to keep an eye on your brother and sister."
>"But why? All they're doing is sitting by the campfire holding hands."
"I know, it's sickening, isn't it?"

>>25657320
>Back at the castle, Sirius sulks in his bed chamber
>"I wanna go camping too, y'know..."

>>25657287
Gotcha. Thank you for the warning... Uhh, would putting warnings on our stories be a good idea or a bad one?

>>25657350
Probably better than expected.

>>25657350

>Uhh, would putting warnings on our stories be a good idea or a bad one?

>Literal trigger warnings

tumblr please.

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>>25657350
>>25657354
>trigger warnings

>>25657332
I would consider including him but I have no idea how to write him, and personally I prefer the idea that there aren't THAT many satyrs in existence. It's odd, but I sort of find the idea that both Celestia and Luna had two children, a boy and a girl each, too "neat" if that makes sense. It just seems too convenient and symmetrical.

>>25657381
That's how I felt when more children for the mane six were spontaneously created
I absolutely hate the thought that every single one of them has two or more children, each with a son and daughter

>>25657370
Well let's face it, people here dontend to get their panties in a bunch over the slightest most pointless things just like thirteen year old Tumblrinas.

>>25657381
Just write him more animated, aggressive, and a tad sarcastic, like how Luna's portrayed in that comic with Big Mac.

>>25657381

Well it's a 50/50 shot of being one or the other. Though as >>25657401 said its uncanny for over half a dozen people having a son and daughter like that.

>>25657420
Almost every satyr would be a girl, hands down. The thread has preferential treatment over daughterus.

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>>25657350
tumblr pls go

>>25657447
Which probably just means that most of us are straight males.

>>25657381
Plus when you add more and more satyrs all the time you begin to lose what makes them special. I'm my opinion they should be like a sober Glaswegian, each a rare and uniquely special individual that should feel like they're in the vast minority with all the drawbacks and prejudices that entails, not just part of a crowd.

>>25657361
>>25657370
>>25657457
See >>25657406
The thread is full of a bunch of tumblr-like bitches who get triggered over thr simplest of shit. Traps, Drakes, Incest, Incest Shipping, Shipping in general, fetishes, even fucking Timber. One of the threads early satyrs sets off a whambulance. You don't want tumblr in your thread? Then stop acting like it.

>>25657488
Indeed. It's a sad state of affairs.

>>25657406
>dontend
Do tend

Where the fuck is the option to disable autocorrect on an iPad?

>>25657488
You're flying off the handle and assuming everyone you quoted is against you again, Anon.
Take a breath, cool your heels, and consider that the people who don't want trigger warnings might be the ones not raising a ruckus.

>>25657520
Settings, general, keyboard.

>>25657534
If he is who I'm thinking of, he tends to do that plentifully.

>>25657539
There's nothing here but soup.

>>25657488
Those people wouldn't get triggered if it wasn't for the fact that a lot of those things you mentioned keeps being discussed to death.
>Someone brings up shipping, drakes, and incest
"Alright, maybe this'll be good..."
>It's about Simmer and Broil for the umpteenth time

>Someone brings up Timber
"Wonder what this'll be about?"
>It's about how he fucks his sisters and how every single girl in existence thinks he's cute and loves him

>Someone brings up incest
"Hope this will be decent."
>It's ends up being about how Dawn, Timber, and Simmer fucks their siblings on a daily basis like it's perfectly normal and their parents are a-ok with it
>As usual

>>25657542
Huh, who you thinking of? I am 80% sure it's not me. Aaron?

>>25657485
Then write something more on a larger scale. If you take the route of the Multiple Humans Universe, satyrs are a 100-150 max in a world where there are hundreds of thousands of native Equestrians and most likely thousands of displaced and Equestrian-born humans. Show their uniqueness in everyday society when they aren't interacting with another satyr.

For all intents and purposes, they're an endangered emerging species. How might most humans interact at the sight of them? With revoltion due to the fact that they're the product of beastiality (an animal is an animal, sapient or not) and goes against the natural order? Would they react with alarm due to their bizzare appearance, or think that it's cool and charming.

Same with ponies, or griffons, or any of the native races. How would you feel if your country had to tend to a couple thousand LITERAL interdimensional aliens and began to mooch off your services? Not only that, they start banging your people and pop out little abominations! And Celestia knows they spread like the plague, they could be taking your jobs and ruining your culture in the next decade or so.

>>25657638
>Multiple human universe
>a couple thousand humans
>Some born in Equestria
Okay... what? Exactly what year is it in Equestria in this headcanon? Because you make it sound like humans appeared WAY before Twilight Sparkle even existed, and are quite common in today's Equestria.

>>25657731
That does sound a bit odd. Even if you subscribe to the multiple-Anon universe, the anons would still have had to arrive in Equestria at some point after Twilight came to ponyville.

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>>25657731
>>25657731
More like when Twilight and most of the Mane Six are in their mid-teens. A few thousand humans (maybe 2,000-3,000, a population of a small town) show up scattered across the world and react to the sudden appearance of alien life forms. Equestrian officials (after assessing how much of a threat they are any many diplomatic conferences) persuades most of the world to help the humans get accustomed to their new life. Fast forward to Twilight's first arrival to Ponyville, and the human population wouldn't have really changed much to alleviate their state as a minority.

Most of them wound-up in Equestria (cause muh friendship and harmony) amongst the major cities like Manehatten and Vanhoover to receive proper work and shelter with the help of the government. Others would be drawn to the quieter, whimsical rural places of Equestria and the surrounding lands and head there, where the prospect of a stable job and a fixed settlement is uncertain. Somewhere along the way, before Twilight's ascension to alicorn, the first satyr is born and, not long after that, a stable link between the two worlds is established, causing a small trickling of ideas, cultures, inventions, explorations, to occure between them. All of this happens when the humans are still at the population of a small town and are scattered among certain areas of the world. So humans aren't neccesarily common at all.

What would you do if one of your friend's satyr kids started flirting with you? Or gave you small signs when no one is looking that he or she wants you?
>You're invited for dinner at your pal's house
>While sitting at the dinner table and eating, you suddenly feel something lightly touching you between your legs
>It feels like a hoof
>At the opposite side of the table, your friend's satyr kid is sitting and smiling in your direction
>No one else seems to notice

You know what'd be easy for the multi human and/or pony shtick to generate the multi satyr gambit, the world thing that Horse Wife is going for it. With the portal to and from Equestria.

If you really want something easy go that route. Otherwise an Equestria setting with a few people, or Earth with a few ponies is the most grounded you can be with any kind of story here.

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>Cinder wants to make each satyr a simple decorative weapon. What does the satyr get as a weapon and what do they name it?

Pogo would name his Party Pooper

>>25658724
>Cinder
>Not superior work from the dwarf Sterling.

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>>25658724
>>25658809
What if Cinder and Sterling worked together?
>Sterling knows all there is to know about most materials, and how to get them cheap
>Cinder knows how to work the smithy, and creates armours, weapons and other trinkets from the materials Sterling acquires

>>25659021
Do you think they would be Simmer and Broil's #1 supplier of top quality monster-slaying weapons and equipment?

>>25659021
OR are rivals. Nothing booms business like a rivalry

>>25659043
Don't like the monster hunting head canon, but I'm sure one of them would be. Fine dwarven crafts.

>>25659103
>OR are rivals. Nothing booms business like a rivalry
But they're not even in the same business. Or are you saying Cinder and Sterling are monster hunters too? Seems a bit odd for them to be both blacksmiths and monster hunters.

>>25659115
No, I meant the blacksmithing. Sterling and Cinder both owning a business, even if one of them is more hands on.

>>25659103
>Don't like the monster hunting head canon
Why not?

>>25659043
>Making it about Simmer and Broil again
Let me ask you something. How do you think Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy and everyone else, including the humans, would react if they found out that a female human lives far away from society with two kids, both of whom don't go to a local school where they can meet friends and stuff, but are homeschooled and live a pretty isolated life. And their mother also teaches them how to fight almost every day so that they can one day hunt and kill - not incapacitate or scare off or beat into submission or anything, but KILL monsters all around Equestria. How would the princesses react?
This is one of the reasons why I don't like the monster hunter headcanon.

>>25659196
>How do you think Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy and everyone else, including the humans, would react if they found out that a female human lives far away from society with two kids
I'm fairly certain they wouldn't care unless the kids were being abused or something. Outside of the cities, like Ponyville, Canterlot and Manehattan, Equestria seems to be a fairly rural place and it probably isn't that uncommon for ponies to live in the middle of nowhere. Just look at the two redneck families that were living out in the middle of nowhere in the recent episode and constantly fighting each other.

So this is going to sound a bit odd...

But do any of you post as Sir Hat? Because I just wandered across the ballad of glass, which has a picture of Darcy, and apparently has Darcy in it... I thought she was pretty much limited to this thread

>>25659946
Link?

>>25660065
www.fimfiction.net/story/235128/the-ballad-of-glass-spring

>>25660092
Cheers, m80.

>>25659946
Dey been stealin' our memes, mang!

>>25660243
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/199231/satyrs

>>25660271
>Tfw Satyr on fimfic is probably more popular than it is here
Feels shitty.

>>25660446

Satyr was born on 4chan. Moulded by it.

It did not see the light of FiMfiction till it was a man.

>>25660446
>>25660465
It is still molded here. All the new hotnesses are found here. Fimfic has so few stories. We have so many in our history.

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>>25659043
No, I pictured Cinder working as the Royal Guard's blacksmith. She's probably more friends with Dagger and Sterling than she is Simmer and Broil (Though they're all bonded through the power of abs!)
>>25659196
Actually, in the ongoing narrative, Simmer and Broil are both in Equestria and enrolled in school, just not in Ponyville. And regarding the monster hunting in general, I think the Princesses would see it as a neccessary part for the safety of the citizens. Like >>25659260 said, most towns in Equestria seem to be in rural areas quite seperated from major cities. It wouldn't be uncommon for a pony to have a monster sighting or two either in the confines of town or on the outskirts.

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>>25660271
Get off my board, Normies!

Ree!!!

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>>25662039
Is he wearing lipstick?

>>25662136

I think that's the outline for his mouth.

Though he's an elfaggot, so who knows?

>>25662039
is there anything else with eden equal?`

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>>25662234
Akyoot

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>>25662257
i need more of him

>>25662448
Oh hey! Thanks for the suprise, his expression is just like his mom's!

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>elves
If ever there was a race that deserved it.

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>>25662545
>Elves
>Not deer

If you had to help it, which satyr picture would you prefer to see? Drakes, sphinxes, or miscellaneous?

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>>25662732
Pony satyrs or sphinxes.

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>>25662709
I approve of this.

>>25662709
>>25662760
"We fray frays now. Best fray frays."
>"Youuu tried to kill me."
"Shut up, fray fray."

>>25662732
>>25662736
Plain satyr not viable? Then Holstaurus. If that's not viable either, Drakes.

>>25662709
Cute. I like it.

>>25662736
Pony satyrs come next time. For your choice of sphinx, would you rather an existing one or a new one?
>>25662792
Cowgirls are fair game.

>>25662736
Which uh... which ones do you milk?

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>>25662835
It depends if she even have them.

>>25662844
I ike this one better. Redesigned satyrs aren't typically bad.

>>25662817
>Existing ones
Alex/Narya, Emma, and Rammeses(only ever mentioned three times). Take your pick.

>Cow girls approved
... Tubular.

>>25662835
Both.

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anyone have any lewd or not requests

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>>25662981
Can you do something like this with a satyr and Anon?

>>25662981
Hope yelling at the normies.

>>25662981
Nonblacklisted satyr standing with legs spread, bent over at the waist and looking back between the legs

>>25662981
... Think you can show off some girl satyr booty? >>25663024
Aaand because apparently the black list is now a thing; can you use a blacklisted satyr?

>>25662981
Hope in a short fitted skirt with lingerie panties underneath.

>>25663047
>>25663024
i'm not here usually, what is a blacklisted satyr?

>>25663047
It was more for bantz.
But I hope it's one of the thicker girls

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>>25662981
Nice go at Mudpie, I was actually going to suggest her next. Thistle in a spread eagle pose? Preferably with bukkake? Thanks Probs

>>25663065
It's not an actual thing. Some people get really butt hurt at commonly used satyrs being commonly used. The term black list just started today. They refer to >>25646653 but usually include Ivy, Mumble, Darcy, and Kaos as well.

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>>25663125
>>25663047
Another accepted term is stupid asshole satyrs

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>>25663003
dad NO

>>25663211
He gonna get goofy timed

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>>25663211
Best possible outcome

>>25663047
the world needs more of Ace's healthy, dick-devouring donk.

>>25662981
Petunia >>25662844 wearing winter clothing.

>>25663355
>Ace, Ivy, and Mumble twerking together, grinding booty on booty on booty

>>25662873
If unkown satyrs are viable, can I throw two sphinxes of my own? I made this as a base for their personalities long ago.

>Natalya's Child - Noelle:
>"And I want you all packed up before we go to Ponyville tomorrow morning."
"Yes Mother."
>"Before hand we have to go over your training. Your wing work needs improvement and I will not let you represent our kingdom with sloppiness."
"Yes Mother."
>"And Noelle?"
>"Yes Mother?"
>"Do try to smile more. I know moving could be daunting for a girl your age, but like I said, it's for the best. You have your future to think of, correct?"
"Yes Mother..."
>"Good. I love you my little golubushka."
"I love you too Mama..."

>Greta's Child - Jade
"So who are we going to visit in Ponyville again?"
>"An old friend of your mother's, Gilda. She hasn't seen her in years since she moved there."
"Can't you just, like...send her a postcard or something? Ponyville sounds so boring."
>"Watch your tongue little missy. She's practically the reason why you're here in the first place."
"Really? I thought played a major role in that. Or am I in serious need of a re-education?"
>"Oh ha ha ha. For your information, she had a little abomination herself the last time I saw her. Alec, I think her name was."
"Alec? Isn't that a boy's name?"
>"Say what you will, but I bet she's matured into a fine young lady by now. I thought she was so cute, why it made me find the nearest man and give it to him hard just so I could get my own little ray of sunshine."
"Aaaw, Dad! Gross, I'm getting a mental image!"
>"It's nothing to be ashamed of Jade! We had plenty of funk making you and we've still got plenty of funk left in us. Whomp whomp!"
"Changing the subject now!"
>"Sure sure. You've got you scarf?"
"Roger! Never leave without it."
>"Good girl. Let's head out, we wouldn't want to miss the train. It's been so long since I've seen Gilda...and I think you'll like Alec and find her very charming."
"Pfft. Yeah. Whatever you say Dad."

>>25663024
http://imgur.com/UkTf6NQ
:>

>>25663424
what

>>25663464
DUUUDE

>>25663467
I was wondering if two sphinxes of my own can be included in the suggestion, since neither of them got mentioned substantially much.

>>25663464
Ha. You used the number 1 blacklisted satyr. Ahh, I feel good. Thank you.

>>25663464
Just a question: how did you find out about satyr?

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>>25663464
M-Mi coranon...
>>25663498
Nah, I think either Timber or Simmer are the most blacklisted ones. Darcy checks out cause she's a hot grill.

>>25663557
You sexist pig. She will not be objectified as a woman! This is why she likes girls, because all you guys think with your tiny shrinky dink dicks.

>>25663557
>>25663599
Dubs win. Darcy is a third wave feminist.

>>25663355
>>25663047
good choice
http://imgur.com/zLVc5c1
>>25663519
was browsing /mlp/ one day, and there it was !

>>25663741
Anal with Ace must feel like heaven. So soft...so plush...

>>25663741
WAH! Ace is a naughty, naughty girl! ... 10/10

>>25663741
Oh my. Well, that answers if you are good at drawing dicks... What about dicks being sucked?

>>25663741
fug

>>25662981
Lewd or not, eh? I have something supah lewd. Icarus and Ambrosia holding hands or if you're into that fetishy stuff... kissing on the lips!

>>25663099
http://imgur.com/yeZYowq
:V what a cute

>>25664018
is that scaly vulva

>>25664076
ye. i drew a dragon cuntboy knight the othher day. just still rollin' with it.

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>>25664018
Yes

>>25664091
Is it soft and not chafey?

>>25664102
it's your whatever you prefer non :^)

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>>25662844
cows are nice

>>25664219
So are her sweater huskies. Unf. How much left do you have in you?

>>25664219
she a cute

>>25664241
i just go until i fall asleep shrug

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>>25664286
You love machine, you. Do you think you could try a birb abomination? Either and owl harpy (>>25649267) or a phoenix satyr like pic related?

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>>25664286
>tfw didn't do hope in a short skirt

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>>25664308
... anon fucked an owl?

>>25664360
ohshit

>>25664286
Sleepy apple satyrs

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>>25664382
An owl fucked a Fenanon. Don't ask how, I just chalk it up to transformation magic or something. Also thanks!

>>25663051
http://imgur.com/a44o3D7
BAM!!
she is supposed to be lifting the skirt !

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>>25664494

>>25664494
Hot damn, Hope's got a huge ass.

>>25664512
She's like, 90% hips'n ass.

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>>25664539
Like a lot of other satyrs

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>>25664417
'sposed to be utah and cinn. cider, but utah looks hella small

>>25664597
I can ship it

>>25664623
Because they're seen together, they must be shipped with each other, right? Screw just being friendly siblings, they MUST fuck!

>>25664891
I knew I should've put an /s at the end of that post. Maybe we do need to tag our work after all.

>>25660465
>till it was a man
It's mostly women though.

>>25663047
There's no blacklisted satyrs, just some who happen to have one or two anons who hate them and will complain that they get too much attention if anyone discusses them at all, no matter how rarely it happens.

>>25664597
I should turn in with them

>>25665239
>>25664597
I like sleepy satyrs, we should have more of them. Do any of you listen to music to help you sleep?

Which satyr(s) would have a somnophilia fetish?

>>25663464
Who is that supposed to be?

>>25663464
>>25663741
>>25664018
>>25664494
Ah, so much satyr porn!
Anon who drew these, you're glorious!
Don't let the sex-hating whinefags tell you otherwise.

>>25660271
I wonder if they argue constantly too?

>>25663204
>>25663047
>>25663204
It's mostly just assmad faggots who want some more variety in the thread, but seem too lazy to try and contribute art or greens.

>>25665971
Sounds about right.

>>25663741
I was not expecting that. Really good and appreciated though.
>>25663805
>>25663811
Her Poppa warned her about stuff like that. What a stubborn satyr.

>>25663204
>Hope
>Mistake
>Darcy
If that is an official Stupid Assholes Satyrs, then why are they there? Haven't seen them been brought up nearly as often as the others in that pic.
And who is the one with a ponytail? The one between Simmer and Hope?

>>25666717
>official Stupid Assholes Satyrs
There's no such thing, it's just a few whiners trying to pass their opinions off as being representative of the majority of the thread.

>>25666717
Probably Mumble

>>25666759
You can't deny that Simmer, Broil, and Timber has been brought up a lot more often than any of the other satyrs.

>>25666780
Simmer and Broil have been discussed quite a bit recently, and Timber has at least been mentioned several times in the last week or so, though I can't remember it amounting to much discussion. However, I've seen people complain about Utah and other satyrs who are barely ever mentioned as well.

I think it just boils down to that if any satyrs they happen to not like are mentioned at all, they get triggered and start complaining that they are discussed too much.

>>25666780
Don't forget Snapshot.

>>25666780
Well in fairness around half the times that they're brought up is when people are complaining about them.

>>25666813
>I've seen people complain about Utah and other satyrs who are barely ever mentioned as well.
I honestly think that a few of those who complain and bitch about satyrs that haven't been mentioned that often are just butthurt Simmerfags and Timberfags.

>>25666871
That's also an interesting point.

>>25666871
So what you're saying is that the people complaining about them getting brought up so much are themselves adding to the amount they are brought up with their complaining? Because someone has to spell it out for them.

>>25667048
>the people complaining about them getting brought up so much are themselves adding to the amount they are brought up with their complaining
Not him, but yeah, it seems that way.

>>25666909
So what's the appropriate limit for discussing them, 3 posts a thread?

>>25667335
>Policing content
Ey! I thought this was A'murrica! What is this? Communist Russia? Thought dis wash 'Murrica.

>>25667356
What if for every ten posts about one unmentioned satyr (as in it includes their name and is the main subject of the post), then they're allowed to post Simmer or Timber once.

>>25667335
There is no appropriate limit. People should post and discuss whoever and whatever they want when they want.

The complainers can't do anything about it other than complain, which seem to do regardless, so it doesn't really matter anyway.

>>25667408
See >>25667356
But replace communist Russia with some Socialist country. I'm just doing a bit, I am more in agreement with >>25667425
Let the people have their fun. Not like they're interrupting any stories or anything.

>>25667425
>>25667435
But no one comes here to wade through a bunch of complaints just so they could read a cute story about a daughteru. Trying to lessen it is pretty important.

>>25667048
Look at it this way. There are two ways it could go.

[satyr] = any satyr that sparks argument. Meaning pretty much any of them.

The way it should go.
>Somebody writes a short oneshot featuring [satyr] going about their day to day business in order to keep the thread bump and provide some green.
>The people that like the story offer non ass kissing thanks to the writer and if possible some constructive feedback.
>The people that didn't like the story and/or [satyr] choose to say nothing, figuring that sometimes it's better to remain silent if you don't have anything good to say.
>The people that didn't like the story decide to counter the content that they didn't like with a story of their own, thus providing the thread with even more green that perhaps the others that also didn't like the first story may enjoy.
>The thread sprouts more and more green as Anons decide to write about things they do like rather than simply complaining about stuff they don't.

Or the way it seems to be now.
>Somebody writes a short oneshot featuring [satyr] going about their day to day business in order to keep the thread bump and provide some green.
>The people that like the story say nothing, because they don't want to start an argument.
>The people that didn't like the story decide to complain about it featuring [satyr] or [situation] they don't like or think is overused.
>Others now begin to offer counter arguments, inevitably bringing up the satyr or situation that was being complained about by the people that didn't like the story.
>The people that didn't like the story now accuse people of forcing [satyr] into the conversation, but all that does is make everything even shittier for everyone.
>Everything is ruined forever and we should all kill ourselves immediately.

>>25667456
>Trying to lessen it is pretty important
Only the complainers can do that, though, by not complaining anymore.
Noone should be allowed to police which satyrs we're allowed to discuss. That's just stupid.

>>25667476
Kek, that's spot on. Should we try and put a sticky on the OP regarding the expectations of making content? Not to interrupt the flow of non-canon, but to have some suggested tips and guidelines for posting and responding to content.

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A repost to get in the holiday spirit!

~
>Far above the upper regions of Equestria, hidden in the winding cracks and crevices among the range of mountains, lies a particular cave. Inside the dark spaces of the mountain range, in what would normally be considered as an inhospitable hole in a mountain, lives a small and peculiar type of family.

>Snap, the progeny between a misunderstood dragoness and a spirited dragonologist, is cheerfully decorating their lair with festivities. With HeartShe stands tip toed on a wobbling ladder, hanging the mistletoe up on the ceiling.

“Almost. Almost…there! The final touch!” Snap proclaims.
>After putting on the final touch, Snap descends down the ladder and begins to give all of the decorations in the lair a once over. She first saunters over towards the dimly lit makeshift fireplace stationed in the back wall. She pouts and grumbles as she examines the state of it.

“Fireplace. Hmm, doesn’t look flashy enough.”
>With a quick inhale she inflates her cheeks to comical proportions, causing her red eyes to wander too far apart from the center, until she finally breaths out a steady torrent of flame. Now the fireplace roars and purrs quite well.

“Fireplace. Check!” Snap says as her eyes refocus slightly, before belching a puff of smoke.
“Heh, ‘scuse me.”
>She scurries towards the east wing, inspecting the red and green tinsel lining nailed on the walls. Snap hops up, wings fluttering uselessly for effect, and gives it a quick tug to test its durability.

“East Wing, check!”
>Snap runs over toward the opposite end, her tail wagging behind her as she zips about the room.

“West Wing, check!”
>Finally, she hurries towards the entrance of the lair, making sure to fetch a coat since the wind is blowing mighty strong today. Outside gives way to a spacious cliff face that plummets straight down the mountain. A natural staircase rises to the left, giving adventurous visitors a way to climb up to their homestead.

(1/6)

>>25667793
>As the breeze licks at Snap’s tiny dragon toes, she hugs herself and bounces up and down. She eyes the wreath set over the entrance of the lair

“W-Wreath! C-c-check!” Her nose wiggles as it’s irritated by the nippy air and causes her to let out a small sneeze.
“A-achoo! ‘Scuse me again.”
>Snap quickly absconds inside and checks the final, the most crucial, and the most essential part of the decorum: the milk and cookies. She zips over to the table, furiously inspecting the plate of chocolate chip cookies. She squints her eyes and tilts her head in all sorts of directions. Snap delicately picks up a cookie, shifts her eyes to see if the coast is clear, then pops the cookie in her mouth. What luck. It’s her favorite.

“Mmmn!”
>After swallowing the creamy treat, she gasps and quickly puts on a more appropriate demeanor for the task at hand.

“I-I mean, mhm…the chip-to-crumb ratio is ideal. Not too buttery. Right amount of chewiness and just a bit of…snap to it,” she relays with a giggle.
>Next, she sets her eye on the tall glass of milk. She licks her lips longingly and grasps the glass with her palms, drinking a good bit of it before she sets it back down. Snap releases a content sigh and rubs her belly.

“Two-percent. Excellent. Only the best milk for the best holiday!” Snap proclaims, pounding her fist into her palm. It was imperative, she thought, that if this year’s visit from Santa Claus was good enough, she would get an extra special gift from Santa.
‘It’s a good thing Daddy told me all of those Christmas stories before I went to bed.’
>Setting her hands on her hips, she spins around to take in her surroundings. The lair is in prime festive condition. The crackle of the fireplace, the subtle mistletoe swaying above, the welcoming wreath stationed at the entrance, and the stream of tinsel wrapped along the wall. Even though she’s never experienced it to the same degree of her father, she cherished this time of the month.

(2/6)

>>25667818

‘Mommy and Daddy get so snuggly during Christmas,’ she happily muses to herself. ‘Lots of hugs and stories and warm feelings. Very important for a growing dragoness.”
>Now having completed her share of the work, all that was left now was to wait until her parents got back. Snap plops down besides the fireplace and lays on the ground, curling the tail of her gem embedded hide around her.

“Just gotta wait…just gotta wait.” Snap yawns lazily and smacks her lips. “Oh boy, those cookies and milk are sure effective. Maybe I’ll take a little nap.”
>And take a nap she did. Curled up like a picturesque cat, she slept beside the warmth of the fire. Snap slept so soundly that she didn’t hear the rustling of branches coming from outside. At the entrance, her parents walk into the lair. Crackle is carrying a modest fallen pine tree on her back, quite easily in fact. Snap’s father wears a hefty winter coat and scarf, brandishing an axe in his hand.

>His eyes glance around the lair and take in the touch-ups that Snap did for their living space. Letting out an impressed whistle he helps Crackle unload the tree off of her back.

>“Wowzers, little gingersnap did a stand-up job fixing up this place, didn’t she dear?”

>Crackle, her tongue forever lolling out of her jaw, gives a merry grumble as she nods her head.

>“It looks wonderful,” she says. While she’s unable to speak normally due to her constrained jaw, her voice somehow comes through as a sultry, smoky one, rich as chocolate and decadent as silver. It’s her best quality, Snap’s father thinks.

>Snap’s father sets the tree in its base and walks over toward the slumbering creature, tail flicking slightly as her chest rises and falls. He smiles and gives her a nudge.

>She stirs from sleep and blinks wearily. She looks around curiously as her wandering eyes start to center their positions. When she sees who it is, she wraps her arms around his neck and wags her tail.

(3/6)

>>25667843
“Daddy, Mommy! You came back!”
>“Hey there Snapdragon, yeah we’re back. We got the tree for the room. I must say, your decorations are in tip top shape.”

“Thanks!” Snap giggles contently and hops up on her feet. She promptly makes a dash for Crackle and hurls herself on her mother’s massive side, nuzzling her face into the jewel bedazzled scales.
“I made sure everything was in pristine condition for Santa this year!” Snap says with childish enthusiasm dripping in her voice.
>Crackle’s rumbling, a sure sign of laughter, bellows her sides out slightly as Snap tries to embrace their entirety to the best of her ability. Lowering her snout, Crackle ruffles her daughter’s hair. “And I bet this year Santa would be very impressed by your handiwork.”

>Snap lets out a tiny squee and bounces up and down. She feels like she’s going to explode; an explosion of candy canes, ringing bells, and awkwardly accepted fruitcakes. The true spirit of Christmas.

>Her father teeters over toward the milk and cookies, inhaling their scrumptious aroma. “Good heavens, these cookies look most delicious,” he muses. As his hand reaches over to grab a cookie on the plate, Snap turns around and gasps.

“Noooooooooooooooo!”
>She shambles away from her mother and hastily runs to her father. Before he gets a chance to eat the cookie, Snap latches onto his waste and looks up, giving him a stern look. As stern as her ruby eyes can muster. Which is to say not much, but she persists anyway.

“Those cookies are for Santa!” She fumes, swelling her cheeks with obvious disappointment.
>Her father, pausing for a moment, tries to stifle his laughter as he sets the cookie back on the plate. “Sweetie,” he starts, “Santa’s not coming for a good while. The cookies and milk would spoil by the time he got here.” He gives her a reassuring hug and a pat on the back. Snap, however, is not amused and gives her a father a suspicious look.

(4/6)

>>25667870
“Are you positively, absolutely, eleventeen-billion percent sure?” Snap asks with a dragon sized pout.
>Laughing, he fondly embraces his daughter and gives her cheek a little pinch, which elicits a small whine from the puffy dragonette. “Yes, I am positively, absolutely, eleventeen-billion percent sure gingersnap. Here.” He takes the plate and hands to her. “Would you like to share?”

>At first, Snap looks a tad apprehensive. However as her eyes waver back and forth to the cookies, she finally submits and takes one.

“Well…it would be a bummer to let these cookies go to waste,” she says as she pops a cookie in her mouth.
>Her father gives out a cheerful laugh, making Snap grin. She loved his laugh, so full of mirth it was. He always used it when acting out the part of Santa in the stories. Crackle lumbers over towards the both of them and wraps her massive tail around their torsos, trapping them against her body.

>“You two goofballs,” she says with a chuckle. Both Snap and her father share the plate of decadent cookies. Snap even tosses one up to her mother, making her snatch it out of the air mid-flight.

>“Good show darling,” her father applauds.

“You win a celebratory hug.” Snap snuggles deeper inside of her, letting out a soft sigh of contentment. “Much better,” she says.
>The family is huddled up together in a large mish-mash of wiggly toes, cookie crumbs, and warm feelings. Snap happily looks to her parents. Unorthodox as they were, she couldn't have asked for anyone better.

“I love you guys.”
>Her mother lowers her head and gives Snap a lick on her cheek, causing her to cry out “Mooooom,” in a not-so terribly offended manner. “And we love you too snapdragon,” she says with an affection only a mother could have. When Snap turns expectantly to her father, he dons an inquisitive look on her face.

>“Hmm, I don’t know,” he ponders. “Love is a pretty strong word.” As he scratches his chin, Snap looks shocked.

(5/6)

>>25667895
“But Daaaad!” She whines, tugging on his shirt hem. Aren’t I your little gingersnap?”
>“An affliction towards the best cookie is hardly ground enough to pronounce your love for someone,” he says. Crackle huffs and rolls her eyes, each rolling in their own direction. “Oh dear,” she utters, “here we go.”

>In distress, Snap asks her father what she could do to earn his favor. “Well,” he muses while rubbing his chin. He points to the glass of milk sitting on the table.

>“Is that milk two-percent?”

“Mhm,” she says with a curt nod.
>“Well then, I guess I love you too,” her father says, laughing as he hefts her in his arms. “You are such a dork,” Crackle snorts. “That’s why you married me,” he beams.

>Snap is then treated to a hug of the most epic proportions, between the massive body of a dragon mother, and the loving arms of a human father. She lets out a smile full of cookie residue, with traces of mirthful joy evident around her mouth. A strange family, perhaps, but never one without joy. She promptly relaxes in their grips and sighs.

“Christmas.”
~

(6/6)

>>25667899
This story is so darn cute.

>>25667793
>>25667818
>>25667843
>>25667870
>>25667895
>>25667899
I think I remember requesting this one way back when Snap was gaining momentum

>>25668219
Way back when my writing was better...

>>25668432
What counts as "cool" in Equestria?

>>25668432
Sure. at least until they start growing up

>>25668432

>"Hey, dad, can I-"
"No."
>"But-"
"No."
>"I just-"
"Nuh uh."
>"Why n-"
"Negatory, good buddy."
>"Dad!"
"No can do, friendo."
>"Everybody else is getting them!"
"Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein!"
>"Oh my god, will you just listen?"
"Haha ha, oh mercy! No."
>"I hate you! You never let me have any fun!"
>Hearing your thirteen year old daughter race upstairs and slam the door of her room, your wife pokes her head into the room and raises an eyebrow quizzically.
>"What was that about."
"Teenage crap, bellybutton piercings, tattoos, boys... I dunno."
>"Oh well, it looks like our little girl's growi-"
"Can we have sex after dinner?"
>"W-What? Again? I mean... sure, if you want."
"Cool... By the way what's for dinner?"
>"I'm doing your favourite, and it'd help me out a lot if you could come help with-"
"No."

Man I'd be the coolest dad ever. Mares need a man that's cool,in control and that won't spoil them with too many cuddles.

>>25669377
Then you find out she's getting cuddles from some guy behind your back.

>>25669405
Then it looks like some other guy's getting put in the ground.

I challenge him to a snowball fight at dawn, and I plan to smush gravel into my snowballs.

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>>25669377
>Can we have sex after dinner?
>you will never have a qt satyr daughteru
>she will never ask if you want to have sex with her after dinner

>>25669471
>she'll never ask because you're too busy being cool dad to let her
Like sands through the hourglass, the none adventures of No-Dad

>>25669471
Ugh, who wants to have sex after a big meal? All I want to do after eating is relax and do nothing for an hour or two. I mean I suppose it'd be okay if she was on top and did all the work so all I had to do was try to remain erect and not fall asleep.

It's like when they put ads on TV for food right around dinner time. Makes me feel sick.

>>25669553
An hour or two after dinner is still after dinner. She never mentioned an exact time.

>>25669471

>she will never ask if you want to have sex with her after dinner

>"Hey, daddy... I know you said that I couldn't get that piercing, but I think that if you came with me to my room for a little while I could find ~some~ way to persuade you."
"No."
>"Ugh, you're the worst!"
>You beloved wife comes out of the kitchen to see what the noise was all about. Remain calm, she won't be away from her rightful place for long.
>"What was it this time?"
"Hmm? Oh uh... Stuff, I'unno."
>You switch channels on the TV and lean back into your recliner before taking a sip of beer.
>"It almost sounded like she was offering to have s-"
"Is dinner ready yet?"
>Your wife rolls her eyes slightly but smiles.
>"Almost, sweetheart."
"M'kay."

No-Anon's a good guy, he just like to have an hour or so to himself where he doesn't get disturbed after getting home from a long, hard day at work.