Anon In Equestria - Thread #1077

>>25487631
1077?
That is a lot of threads!

>>25487647
That's as many as a lot of tens

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>>25487729

And that's just terrible.

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Day Oreltenan in Equestria
>Wake up after good night of rest
>coffee, breakfast
>morning paper and a comfy chair
>you do love a solid routine
>and like routine, the knocks on your door ring it to be about that time
>opening the door leads you to see the most swole fucking yellow hoers you have seen in your life
>It's like she spent an extended vacation training with that white pegasus at the gym and Iron Will back to back
>"Um, hello Anon."
>The tone of her voice makes you absolutely certain she grew a pair larger than your own crowning jewels
>Despite your cool morning start, such an affront cannot be allowed
"...You want to fucking go?"
>Her eyes gleam above her now twitching hoers pecs
>"A-absolutely! If you don't mind, of course."
>Standing to the side, you motion into your abode
>As she waddles in, you swear she squeaks as her frame waves back and forth
>Cracking your knuckles, you close the door
>You wake up two days later
>She broke your jaw
>and you're pretty sure she broke your hips
>Looking over from the hospital bed, you see her ecstatically going over you and trying to apologize
>Staring back at her, the only thing that rings in your head is that same primal sensation
"...You think you're fucking tough huh?"
>You do love your routines

>>25487631
Tripsfaggots in Heorslandia

Tripfegs in 'Questria

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>>25487738
I guess you could say...
These threads are as delicious as cakes

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>>25487738

>>25488930
Puncess Moonbutt green when?

>>25488930
>>25488980
The puns are retaliation against Anon's constant perverted dreams. She tried to make it better by hiring a prostitute for him, but he just got worse after that.
It wouldn't be so bad, but he dreams so loudly that all of the ponies in Ponyville have nightmares about trains going into tunnels and this sound https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfuQIbjPmCA

>>25489323
>fisting a jar of mayo
9/11 would remove sides again

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>>25489323

Hey All
What thread does Barren Kindness start on?
i thought it was 225 but i might be wrong

>>25489539
>>25490137
Funny, gross, and messy.

Crosspostan because there are not enough spiderponies here either

>Day spiders in Equestria
>Every day is day spiders here, because it's a land inhabited by friendly magical giant spider things
>It's not too bad in ponyville, a town that despite the name does not have any ponies.
>You've just finished another interview session with Princess Twilight, a purple spider who lives in the town castlebrary
>Also it's about lunch time, so you're going to grab some food from the bakery
>On the way there you see a white spider jumping all over town at high speed
>You arrive at said bakery.
>Pinkie Pie, one of the spiders who works at the bakery says you can have lunch free if you fuck her without trying to eat her
>Says she heard humans don't try to eat their mates after sex
>You take her up on her offer
>"No biting, okay?"
"Sure."
>You give her the D
>She cums so hard she webs all over the bed
>Then imeediately backs away
>After a moment she cautiously returns to the bed and cuddles with you
>Today you found out why Ms. Cake is missing a leg

>>25490196
it is

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>>25491416
*isn't, derp.
219 has the first part. 225 on the second ,3rd on 230. All I have time right now to look for due to jerb

Bored.
Gib request

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>>25492086
depressed dresshorse

>>25492086
Happy dresshorse, just to spite >>25492106

>>25492106
>>25492413
Bipolar Dresshorse and an Anon who tries to gaslight her.

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>>25492413
>>25492449

y-you wouldn't dare!
really I'm happy with dresshorse in general

>>25492086
Ponies keep trying to sell themselves to Anon as slaves. He's kind of weirded out by it.

>>25492106
Do you have like a macro or something?

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>>25492630
I have a pinned browser tab and two monitors. If I am at my computer, I am monitoring this thread.

>>25492674
I've done the same thing since 2012.

>>25488655
Crossroads is the main (only) author in the addiction threads. Sadly his story is on hold since September, but comes back to gave us a life sign periodically, and that was a while ago.

PS.: just noticed
>>25476136

>>25492086
Twilight tries to ban Anon from doing things she finds unacceptable. Like scratching his nose and eating crackers like he owns the place.

>>25492770
>Crossroads is the main (only) author in the addiction threads. Sadly his story is on hold since September
Wow, I didn't know anyone was worse off than us.

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>>25493758
>le aie is dying maymay
(you)

>>25493796
It's not just us though. It seems like all the casuals have left /mlp/ and it is only the most bitter of diehards left.

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More LaP's Tsunlestia when?
I NEED more Tsundere Celestia and Adorably Dirty Luna

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Time for a story. In fact, a continuation of Something You'd Regret.

Before I get too far, I want to say this story has been edited a lot. All of Twilight's perspective is in third person and All of Anon's perspective is in second person. Aaaand this part is entirely Twilight's perspective. I'm going to link the earlier parts, but the best way to read parts 1-5 is on Fimfiction, because the first 5 parts are unedited on Fimfiction. So, read the pastebin at your own discretion.

Prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/189816/something-youd-regret
1: http://pastebin.com/z92nhVKV
2: http://pastebin.com/35aUT0jz
3: http://pastebin.com/G28qNx3X
4: http://pastebin.com/e783sJFn
5: http://pastebin.com/DUA7hHVC

>Twilight flapped her wings hard, putting as much distance between herself and the stadium of the Equestria Games as possible.
>The air that rushed past her was fast, chilly, and caused her eyes to water.
>Normally she wouldn't fly at such an intense speed, since she didn't have the luxury of learning how to fly when she was a foal.
>However this was a matter of major importance, so she toughed through the pain.
>It was time to get to the bottom of all of this nonsense.
>The Crystal Empire passed by underneath her, with it's many streets, citizens and guests decorated to the max for the long awaited Equestria Games.
>Even the weather was being prepared special for the big event.
>There wasn't a cloud in the sky and everything seemed absolutely perfect.
>At least on the outside.
>Inside that stadium, built special for these games, was scandal between the royal wedding couple.
>Shining was lying to his wife.
>Cadance to her husband.
>And they were lying to themselves about not loving each other anymore.
>They had to be.
>How could everything have fallen apart so quickly?
>Was their love for each other really gone?
>Are they going to let one mistake be the cause of ruination for their marriage?
>Had they even really given the other the chance to talk it through?

1/15

>>25495090

>Instead, her sister-in-law just calls Anon, the human she knew Twilight had feelings for-
>Twilight felt her wings flap harder and her teeth grit she endured the chilly winds on the flight to Cadance's private study.
>The pain Twilight felt trying to endure the high altitude winds wasn't unwelcome.
>She knew she had to get there as soon as possible.
>And if she got the wind in her eyes, well then everything would seem absolutely normal on the outside.
>So, she couldn't slow down.
>The ponies below shouldn't see a trembling Princess.
>Especially if they look up to see if it's about to rain.
>Instead, Twilight tried to focus, instead of letting her mind wander to her human.
>There had to be an answer.
>There had to be some piece of the puzzle that was still missing.
>Shining wasn't the type of stallion to cheat on a mare.
>Cadance wasn't that type of mare either.
>At least, not that she knew.
>There had to be something else.
>Even then, their marriage couldn't have just deteriorated this fast over just this.
>The two of them would have tried to talk it out and make things work.
>Cadance is lying and Twilight knew it.
>Twilight just wished she knew how she was lying.
>She let out a sigh and examined the Crystal Palace that grew nearer with every flap of her wings.
>She hoped that with a little luck, maybe there was still some sort of clue to everything that's has happened.
>Maybe something on compatibility spells.
>Or even, the lack of existence of them.
>At least, then there would be something.
>Twilight's eyes locked onto the left-most spire of the castle.
>There.
>She had only been there once, and it was after the battle with King Sombra, but that was where Cadance's secret library was.
>The Princesses had to keep certain books and tomes safely put away from where those who would misuse them could get to.
>Twilight and Cadance were no exception.

2/15

>>25495099
>Except that Twilight had a really hard time deciding what books were special enough to her to consider a place in a 'secret library.'
>But, that was a new list and even longer reshelving day that can wait until another day.
>In just a few short minutes, she was hovering outside of the ornate painted glass window of the Crystal Palace's secret study.
>The window was custom made by the glass experts of Canterlot as a wedding gift to her.
>Adorned in whites, blues, pinks, and a myriad of other colors, was a recreation of the scene when Shining and Cadance drove off the Changelings during their Royal wedding.
>Their love was so strong that they defeated a whole army with just their own combined powers.
>Twilight examined it carefully and failed to see anyway to open it easily from the outside.
"Well, if wouldn't be secret if anypony could get in," she sighed to herself.
>Twilight's horn glows with a bright violet magic and seeped into the window frame from the edges.
>She pushed her magic through any little tiny hole she could find in the lining and focused it to a the lever on the other side.
>Once she had enveloped it in a tiny purple aura, Twilight lifted and unlocked the window as gently as she could and pulled the window open just a crack.
>'Alright, Twilight. Stay quiet,' she thought to herself.
>She couldn't afford to get caught snooping in the secret study of another Princess.
>Even if was a Princess too.
>Each study was supposed to be a sanctuary for it's owner; a small part of the world that only they were supposed to access.
>This usually meant keys or some sort of magical barrier was to be put in place so other ponies couldn't break in.
>Which put Twilight on high guard as she tried to peek inside.
>Putting her eye into the crack, she quickly scanned around for any signs of Cadance or trap.
>The room was completely unlit with the exception of the colored light streaming through the stained glass window.

3/15

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>>25495107
>The walls are lined with shelves upon shelves of books on the lit wall, and a desk where several books sat was pushed against a far wall.
>'It... looks like the coast is clear.'
>Pushing the window open more, Twilight slipped herself in and closed the window behind her.
>'Keep your guard up, who knows what could happen,' she thought to herself.
>One last look around confirmed that the study was completely empty.
>Which meant that the easy part was done.
>Now the hard part was to figure out what secrets this room was holding.
>Twilight let her horn glow with magic, lighting up the room that only darkened as the sun began to set for the day.
>The study was now in complete view, revealing a few cauldrons along another wall even more rows of books, a few suits of male and female crystal royal guard's armor, and of course the portraits of Cadance and Shining that hung on the walls.
>Twilight solemnly looked over each one, biting her bottom lip at the memories they contained.
>The first one was Cadance and Shining's wedding portrait.
>The next was a picture of them sitting side by side, on the Crystal Throne, just after they defeated Sombra and restored order to the Crystal Empire.
>Then, the last was a picture of the whole Sparkle family.
>Twilight, Shining, Cadance, plus Mom and Dad.
>Twilight sighed and looked away from the last one, unsure of how much longer the title 'Family' would be accurate.
>If she really wanted Shining to leave, why did she still have these portraits up?
>It's not like Shining would ask questions.
>Twilight pondered this question as she quietly made her way to Cadance's desk.
>Tons upon tons of books, plus a map of Equestria and the Crystal Empire, were littered all over the top of the desk.
>Each book opened to diffrent pages with different markings and notes written in the margins.
>Twilight tried her best to repress a gag at Cadance's tainted method of writing notes inside these books, but failed.

4/15

>>25495115
>Steeling herself to her task at hand, she focused on the first book in front of her and brought it into focus.
>'The Culture and Heritage of the Griffin People, Abridged.'
>So, she was studying for the guests of the Equestria Games.
>That makes sense, but it doesn't add anything to -this- problem.
>If anything, it could make finding a book that she was searching for harder to find.
>Setting the book aside, Twilight reached for the next one that's closed.
>"Mysterious creatures in Equestria, Sixth Edition"
>Well, that's odd.
>Why did she keep this up here?
>It's not particularly uncommon.
>Turning the book over and over in her hooves, Twilight noticed a few pages were folded inside.
>A shiver ran down her spine.
>Focus, Twilight.
>Maybe if all of this ends well, she could critique her on her note taking.
>Opening to one of the folded pages in the back, she noticed that it's the Appendix for the all of the H words in the book.
>In the middle of the page, there's a large circle with written in the middle: 'No Human.'
>Human?
>She was trying to look up details about Anon?
>Maybe you're onto something here.
>Flipping a few pages forward, monkey is circled three times.
>Bingo.
>Twilight skipped to the page for Monkeys and it detailed a section on Primates and other similar creatures.
>Most of it was pretty typical science fare, but one underlined area caught her eye.
>In yellow highlighter, the passage: 'Through psychological testing, we've found that primates generally react very strongly to emotion and imprinting based magic.' was clearly marked.
>Emotion based magic?
>Were these the spells Cadance cast that Anon was mentioning?
>It's a start, but it doesn't add much.
>We just know that Cadance was interested with Anon and his species.
>Maybe something else on the desk holds the answer.
>Now if she found a book that detailed compatibility spells... That would mean that-
>Twilight paused, shaking her head.

5/15

>>25495126
>Well, then... she would have to try and be happy for them.
>Twilight's muscles felt weak and her tail sagged at the mental picture of Anon holding Cadance in the arms that she dreamed of, but she did her best to push on.
>She flipped through the book one last time and found another folded over page.
>Changelings.
>She gasped, taking a step back and letting the book fall to the floor.
"It would all make sense," she muttered.
>But wait.
>Wouldn't Cadance be prepared for another attack?
>She would have learned from past mistakes and have been ready for another changeling invasion.
>But what about Shining?
>He did attack Anon.
>That's extremely out of character for him.
>But Cadance would have noticed that he was acting really differently.
>So, as long as one of them was prepped for a Changeling invasion, it seemed unlikely that it was Changelings.
>Plus, nothing else points in this direction.
>Twilight knew she'd have to find more proof if it pointed to Changelings or anything else.
>Setting the book back down, she looked through the rest of the stacks of books on the desk.
>'The Romantic Tales and Tragedies of Past Princesses.'
>No.
>'Making Your Marriage A Happily Ever After.'
>Nope.
>'Pushing through Hardship for a stronger, better Marriage.
>Nuh-uh.
>'101 Ways to Spice up the Be-'
>Twilight set the book aside without casting it another glance.
>There has to be something else.
>If anything, these just support Cadance's story.
>She was trying everything she could to make things work and to bring the two of them close together again.
>At least, these books would probably have been what Twilight would have tried.
>Twilight looked carefully at the map, but the only markings on it were of each of the cities and towns that were participating in the Equestria Games.
>She paced on the tile floor and moved past each of the shelves of the books, quickly scanning the titles.
6/15

>>25495133
>Cadance certainly had all sorts of books in her study, rare and common alike.
>History books, Science books, and spell books of all kinds, including advanced offensive, defensive, healing, transformation and even dark magic.
>'Wait one second. Dark magic? Cadance wouldn't...' Twilight thought to herself.
>But it didn't stop her from approaching the shelf.
>She paused to look at the books of dark magic, but to her relief they had seemed to have grown a thick layer of dust over them.
>It's probably safe to rule that out.
>With a sigh, she moved down the shelves trying to find some sort of lead.
>After skipping more history tomes about the Crystal Empire, Twilight arrived at the shelf she had been waiting for.
>Directly next to the cauldrons was Cadance's dedicated shelf to the Magic of Love.
>Starting at the top shelf, Twilight looked through selected historical texts where love magic was used to overcome great evils.
>The next shelf was all books dedicated to theoretical physical sources sources of love and the extents of their power, including how it related to children.
>Then, the third shelf down was exactly what Twilight was interested in.
>Spells that utilized love magic.
>This shelf had very little dust on it and it seemed that books all over it were out of place.
>Which meant that they were being used and referenced often.
>This was a good sign for Twilight, maybe there was still something she could find.
>Grabbing a few promising books, she found a nearby stand near the cauldron that was already being used to hold a few books.
>Twilight took her books and moved to the stand, taking the first one that caught her eye: 'Spells of Passion."
>She opened directly to the appendix in in the back and began scanning through each of the spells and terms used in the book, trying to find anything that's synonymous with compatibility.
>Except, there's nothing.
7/15

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>>25495141
>Picking up the next book and flipping to it's appendix she repeated the process, but there was nothing there either.
>Grabbing another book, she checked it's contents, but there was also not a single mention of a compatibility spell.
>Twilight grabbed book after book, checking the appendixes, the tables of contexts, flipping through the pages quickly, but each one held the same number results as the last.
>The light that came in through the painted glass began to fade as Twilight realized she had completely ran out of books on her shelf.
>Which could only mean one thing.
>There was no such thing as a compatibility spell.
>Which meant her gut feeling was right.
>How could magic enter the minds of two completely separate ponies, dissect their personalities, and create some... made up number that could tell if ponies were good for each other or not?
>There's a lot of weird things in Equestria, but there is one thing that magic can't do, it's that.
>In fact, that's why there was a Princess of Love, to try and make these decisions herself instead of through magic.
>The only other possibility would be if it was a spell of Cadance's own design.
>However Twilight knew Cadance was never good at making her own spells.
>Those times she had her as a babysitter and Cadance tried to do her homework was proof enough of that.
>The fire department had both the Castle and the Sparkle home on speed dial.
>So, if Twilight ruled out those possibilities, Cadance was completely making up those spells to fabricate a lie.
>And if the spells were a lie, then there -had- to be something else.
>This was a small hole, but the lid wasn't blown off yet.
>There was still something she was missing.
>But what?
>All the proof of trying to save the marriage was right there.
>Unless, this was all being planted by her.
>Except, Shining said that she was trying to save things as well.
>It's a really intricate plan if everything's being planted.
8/15

>>25495150
>And Shining isn't lying to her anymore either.
>So, maybe it's just the part about Anon that's false?
>Twilight sighed and placed the books back on the shelf with more questions than answers.
>Sitting down, she scanned over them in the quickly darkening room, to see if there were any she hadn't already read.
>"Maybe... maybe I'm just wrong," she said aloud to herself, breaking the prolonged silence in the room.
>She sighed, looking around the room and at the setting sun.
>"Maybe Anon just loves her, and they really are good for each other. If they're happy now... maybe I just shouldn't get involved. Maybe there really isn't anything going on here and I'm just making this out to be something it's not."
>Rising to her hooves, she headed over to the desks and placed all the books back the way she found them.
>"I just..."
>Her muscles trembled again she no longer had the wind as an excuse for the water falling from her face.
>"I just wish he was happy with me and not her," she muttered.
>Twilight blinked a few stray tears out of her eyes and felt the warmth leave her body.
>She really blew it.
>Since she couldn't tell him how she really felt, she lost him.
>He's gone none now.
>He'll never, ever be her Prince.
>He loved her sister-in-law, not her.
>All of the nights spent together, the hangouts, the books they had read together...
>It just meant nothing in the end.
>He didn't see Twilight that way.
>Taking a deep breath, the purple unicorn thought over what she had to do next.
>She guessed the next thing to do would be to apologize to Cadance for snooping in her study, return the photo to her, and... and...
>Leave Anon alone, forever.
>For her own sake.
>Twilight sniffed and shook her head.
>The very idea made the bones in her body ache and her wings sag to the floor.
>'Alright, Twilight. It's time to buck up and be a big girl,' she muttered to herself, hurt staining every word.
9/15

>>25495158
>Twilight looked around Cadance's desk for a tissue to blow her nose.
>When nothing was on top of the desk, she opened the drawer of the desk, then paused.
>There was an envelope in the first drawer she looked in.
>And it had her name on it.
>How did she not think to look in the drawers?
>Well, it doesn't matter.
>She pulled the envelope out and examined it carefully.
>In Cadance's best cursive, "Twilight Sparkle" was written on the front of the letter.
>The envelope certainly had a little more than a letter in it, judging by the bulge in it.
>'Well, it's addressed to me. I might as well open it. It's not like I can't get in more trouble,' she thought.
>Twilight carefully undid the adhesive stamp on the note so she could reseal it if necessary.
>She pulled out the source of the bulge, a small vial of golden liquid, and what looks to be a letter.
>Opening the letter first, she read it carefully.
>"Dear Twilight," it reads. "If you've received this letter, that means there has been a lot of conflict, confusion, and hurt feelings during the Equestria Games. I'm sure it's been very hard on all of us, but I need you to perform this task. Do not tell me when. Do not tell me how, but after the Equestria Games, you must have Anon drink this. It's tasteless, odorless, and will take effect with minutes. He won't be hurt any more than he already is. I promise."
>Twilight looked over the cryptic message one more time.
>More than he already is?
>Wait, when -was- this written?
>When was Twilight supposed to receive this letter?
>"I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to do this, and that I must ask you to perform this task for me, but it's for the greater good of everypony. I'm putting my faith into you. - Cadance."
>Twilight examined the bottle of golden liquid carefully.
>What -is- this stuff?
>Cadance's letter said it would make Anon hurt.
>Why would she ever hurt Anon?
>Why was this letter hidden in a place where she should never be?
10/15

>>25495168
>Now there were even more questions.
>But these are the correct questions, ones that might be easy to answer.
>Rising to her hooves, Twilight examined the bottle in the light of her horn.
"I don't think I'm going to be leaving soon..." she muttered, looking around the room.
>Grabbing a candle from across the room, she used her magic to light it.
"Now then, if I were a potion, I'd be born in a..."
>She turned, hooves instantly knowing their destination.
"A cauldron."
>Looking deep inside, she found that both cauldrons were completely empty.
>With a hum of disappointment, she looked back to the book stand that she were examining the spell books from before.
>What happened to those books that were already sitting there.
>Sure enough, there were two books sitting on the stand, waiting to be read, both opened to specific pages.
>Grabbing the top one, she looked at the opened page.
>Twilight dropped the book after reading the first line.
>"The Draft of Love at First Sight"
>A love potion.
>Cadance has been brewing a love potion.
>But, why?
>She read through the pages voraciously.
>"The contents of the potion would create a three-dose, twp serving potion that will deepen the drinker's love for each other. The potion will require hair from both of the drinkers. Each dose must be drank by both party from the same batch of potion and at the same time. All three doses must be drank with 24 hours to take full effect. The third and final dose will make the love permanent, unless the same brew of potion is also used to create the light golden antidote. If only one drinker drinks the antidote, only the drinker of the antidote will be released from the effects of the potion."
>Twilight looked at vial she took from the letter earlier.
>Sure enough, it's golden.
>This is an antidote to a love potion?
>A love potion she's giving to Anon!
>Shoving the vial into her messenger bag, along with the two books on the shelf, she realized there may not be much time.
11/15

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>>25495176
>Twilight turned on her hooves and headed for the door, antidote tight in the grasp of her magic.
>That's all the proof she needed.
>At this point, it doesn't matter who cheated.
>Twilight needed to save her Anon.
>And who knew how much time she had left before they take the final dose.
>Pushing the windows open with ease, she stopped.
>Wait a minute.
>These secret studies were supposed to be protected by some sort of magic.
>Why was there no defense that she had to break through?
>Shaking her head, she leaped out of the window and spread her wings for flight.
>There's no time for that right now.
>She needed to get back to the castle as soon as possible.

~~~

>Panting for breath, the balcony to Twilight's VIP room hovered in the distance as the light faded completely from the sky.
>Time is of the essence.
>She had to get to Anon as soon as possible.
>With a beam from her horn, the entrance to Twilight's room opened and she zoomed inside.
>Landing hard on all four hooves, Twilight immediately looked up.
"Shining!"
>Scanning the room, she immediately spotted her brother.
>He laid on Twilight's bed, staring at the ceiling, unmoving or reacting to the new guest.
"Shining, we have to go!" Twilight shouted. "There's no time to explain."
>He rolled his head, looking at her with concern.
>"What? What's so important?"
"We have to go! We have to go find Anon!" she said, as she trotted to the door.
>He sighed and rolled over.
>"No."
"Come on, Shining. We have to do this! I think Cadance is drugging him!"
>"Cadance wouldn't do that," he said. "At least, I don't think she would."
"I have proof though! I know she is! She has to be!"
>"She's gone, Twilight. I lost her. I messed up and now I have to pay the consequences. Can't you see that? It's already hard enough for me to accept as it is. Worse that I can't even remember that it happened."
>That's it.
>Trotting to Shining's bedside, a fury rose within Twilight.

>>25495189
>She couldn't afford to be wasting this time.
>"Just go, Twilight."
>She raised a hoof in the air.
>"There's no point any-"
>The hoof came down as hard as it could across her brother's cheek.
>He sat up and stared at her violently.
"One of my friends is in danger. I can prove that your wife is up to something, and it might finally explain everything that's been happening, and you just want to give up?"
>Silence fills the room as the two of them glared at each other.
"The brother I knew would stand up to injustice. He would never take no for an answer. If life shoved him, he'd shove right back and do it with a determined smile. We finally know how to figure all of this out and you want to just lie here in your own misery?"
>His muscles tensed up, his attention hanging on Twilight's lecture.
"I know you've been upset and confused about all of this. And you deserve to be sad, but if you want your wife back at all or want to have one last shot at a happy ending, you need to get off that bed and help me find your Wife and my human. So, are you going to snap out of it, or what?"
>Twilight's body shook with anger as she stared at the stallion.
>He raised his hoof above his head and slammed it down on the bed.
>"Let's find a guard. They should know where they went," he said in a low voice, rising to his hooves.
"There's the Shining I know," she said, turning to the door.
>"Mind filling me in on what's going on?" he asked, rising from the bed as she galloped towards the door.
"I'm still fuzzy on some of the details, but I know for a fact that Cadance is poisoning Anon with some sort of love potion," she answered as Shining followed behind.
>Twilight dashed down the corridors as swiftly as she could, making turn after turn trying to find a guard.
>"A potion?" he said. "Do you think she's been feeding anything to anypony else?"
"I dunno. Maybe? I don't know how she could have given me anything. I've barely seen her with all of the planning of the games."
13/15

>>25495197
>"I see her almost every night for dinner," he said. "Turn up here. One should be posted by the Princess Balcony."
"Good idea. Have you noticed anything weird lately? Random emotions? Sudden swings in health?"
>Making a turn towards where she learned all of this news earlier today, sure enough, a guard stands at attention.
>"I don't know. I suppose I've been really moody? Angry. Sad. Do you think she was giving me something?"
"I honestly don't know," she replied. "Sir! Sir Guard."
>"Princess Twilight. Prince Shining Armor," the guard answered, standing at attention.
"Tell me, where has Princess Cadance and Anonymous the Human gone? We need to speak to them immediately,"
>The guard thought for a moment, then nods.
>"They just left to go to a local tavern. I believe the same one we had the party at, Sir. It was right after she spoke to Princess Celestia about a private matter."
"Thank you so much. Let's go, Shining."
>Quickly, the two of them galloped towards the nearest set of stairs as the guard called after them.
>"Is everything alright, Princess-"
>But his voice faded as the two of you push down the stairs of the arena.
"Where is this place, Shining?"
>Shining remained quiet.
"Shining, I need you to set your feelings aside and tell me -exactly- where this place is."
>"It's about a block away from the Stadium. Depending on when we left-"
"We'll be there in time," she interrupted.
>'I have to be. There's no other choice. I can't afford the alternative. Even if you do have an antidote, I only have one.'
>Her muscles felt numb as she strained her body to the limits of their physical endurance.
>A prickly hot sensation burned the back of her throat as she panted for air.
>Shoving through security, the crystal ponies, griffons, and other Equestrians watched with muted curiosity at the two's sprint into the town.
"Which way?" she asked Shining.
>"Left. Go left and then take a right when I say."
>Jumping into the street, she galloped even harder.
14/15

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>>25495207
>She can't take him.
>She couldn't take him.
>Twilight loved him too much.
>She'd scrawled his name in the margins of too many of her notebooks.
>There had been too many dreams about being wrapped in his arms.
>'I refuse to let Cadance take my Prince away from me,' she thought selfishly. 'Even if it's the last thing I do as a Princess.'
>"Go right!"
>Turning hard, Twilight bumped into a tourist mare wearing a lime green sweater.
"Sorry!" she said hastily, continuing to run towards the tavern.
>Cadance is going to have to own up to what she's been doing.
>It's time to finally find out the truth.
>The real truth.
>"This one. On the right," he said painfully.
>Twilight locked her eyes on the door.
>There's no way she was too late.
>He has a broken leg.
>They couldn't have been here very long.
>Cadance didn't give him the final dose yet.
>Please.
>Twilight charged to the front door as a few smoking stallions out front stared at her in surprise.
>Leaping towards the door, she placed a hoof on the door and forced it open, pushing herself inside.
"Anon!"

6: http://pastebin.com/NmuZi269


Three parts left. Let's do it before the end of the year.

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>>25495216

>>25495216
None of us can hope for any better than that. ;_;

I think we need one where Anon is considered being a monster for being different, and is shunned.
Only to stand before imminent death by his hand while shouting "I AM NOT A MONSTER" like Wheatley.
Am I the only one who wants this?

>>25496452
Probably.

>>25496452
Yes.

>>25492468
There is a thread for that.

>>25496452
>Not tardedly shouting, "Puttin' on the Ritz!!!"

Does anyone have that story in which Anon is in Equestria and the ponies speak in grunts and whinnies, and Anon lives on the outskirts of ponyville and the ponies are too afraid to go near him and Anon initially can't understand them but slowly learns certain phrases in their language? I remember reading some of it here perhaps a year ago and would love to finish it. Thanks.

>>25497411
Do you know anything else about it?

>>25497175
That doesn't mean we can't do it too.

>>25497175
What thread is that?

>>25499067
>>25471109

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>"Anon, quit jacking off into the milk. It's gross."

>>25499857
You say that but I still see you drinking it.

>>25495216
That's not an antidote is it?

>>25497175
And that thread is called Anon in Equestria.

>>25497411
[HORSE NOISES INTENSIFY]

>>25499067
It's over thataway
>>25487631

crosspostan
>Be Anon, in Equestria.
>Pony has finally gone to far.
>She has shed all over your sofa, eaten all your snacks, and broken two of your windows.
>This sort of behavior is unnaceptable and must be corrected.
>With violence.
>Right.
>You grab a nice sharp knife from the kitchen and head off into town.
>"Hey Anon, how're you?"
"Angry. Where is pony?"
>"I heard she's at the stair museum."
"Thank you, goodbye."
>You make your way to the surprisingly popular museum of stairs.
>Pony is inside with your tape player.
>You thought you threw that away like a decade ago, when it broke.
>Nevertheless, it is time to hurt pony.
>You walk up to pony and stick the knife into her midsection.
>"Hi Anon!"
"Fuck you pony, stop breaking into my house."
>You pull the knife back out and stab her a few more times.
>"Oh you, there's no need to play hard to get with me."
>You are stabbing her rather vigorously at this point.
>While your knife is making holes in her, there is no blood.
>Fucking marshmallow ponies turn out to literally be marshmallow ponies.
>You make a mental note to buy a blowtorch for next time.

>>25501552
oh dear

>>25492413
>tfw idea but no time

>>25503419
>tfw time but no ideas

>>25503419
>>25503855
>tfw time and ideas but no desire

>>25503907
>tfw I'm just generally inept and writing horse words is no exception.

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>>25503141
so that's the second part of this pic

>>25504346
>>25504446
You faggots and FR need to just die already.

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>>25504220
It's a fun little series.

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>>25504346
>>25504446
>cowed into submission by a hallway vagina
One of the more amusing anons in a while.

No thanks.

>>25504944
in b4 anon is a grower and is like two stacked cans of arizona iced tea when hard

>>25505208
sausage down a hallway/10

>>25498211
No, that's about it.

The ponies also pretend to be non-sapient whenever Anon is around, but Anon catches them enough acting sapient that he knows they are.

I think the ponies might have also left food out for him sometimes.

>>25505787
Ever feed a tic tac to a whale?

>>25506620
I have, but it didn't do much for her halitosis.

Sph isn't worst fetish, but they share a zip code.

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>>25505208

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MORE GREEN.

http://pastebin.com/u/AutoPony

>"Anonymous?"
>Luna's cheerful voice echoes off the hard concrete floor of the garage.
"Under here, Lulu."
>Her hooves rapidly make their way toward you.
>As you look up, her bright eyes peek through what little space there is between the engine and radiator of the Superbird.
>"What are you doing down there?"
>You knock on the oil pan of the motor, making a hollow sound as it is nearly empty.
"Changing the oil in the old girl. General tune up stuff while I have it parked for the winter."
>Too impatient to wait, you put the drain plug back in, tightening it before you slide yourself and the nearly full drain pan out from underneath the car.
>"I still find it odd you insist on parking it until spring. Tia hates winter, Canterlot hardly even gets below freezing."
>You shrug as you pull yourself up off the hold floor, wiping your hands on an old rag.
"I didn't do much for maintenance during the summer and fall, because I'm so used to doing it in the winter. Old habits die hard."
>Luna sighs, sitting down in front of you.
>"I was hoping for some excitement this afternoon. Today has just been so.... dull."
>You look at her, frowning.
"Well, if you want excitement, you just managed to sit in a puddle of oil."
>She stands up quickly, turning to look.
>"What? I do not see anything."
"That's because it's all right here."
>You goose her on the black markings of her rear, making the mare jump and squeal.
>She turns back around and playfully tackles you back to the floor, grinning.
>"Gah! You're terrible!"
>You just laugh at her in response as she lays down on top of you.
"I can't help it you fall for that every time."
>Her smile grows mischievous at this point.
>"Well I'm not letting you back up now."
>You kiss her on the nose.
"I'm not complaining. Might look a little awkward if someone were to walk by, though."
>She mulls over the thought, before standing up and helping you to your feet.

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>>25507434

>Ruffling her mane with your hand, you bend over and pick up your tools.
"So, what do you want to do this afternoon for 'excitement?' I got the rear end torn apart on this thing, so this is out of the question."
>She peers over to your side at the car, then back to you, completely lost.
>"It looks in one piece to me, Anon."
"No, the differential, the axle in the back. I have that tore apart, I wheel hopped it really bad earlier this year, I want to make sure I didn't hurt any of the rear gears."
>She continues to just stare.
"Long story short, we can't go flying through the countryside in this thing."
>You hear her gasp, and as you look up, her eyes are lit up.
>"That's it, Anon! We should go flying together!"
>You shake your head, playing dumb.
"I can't fly, Luna."
>She prances around you, ignoring your obvious tactics.
>"Oh come on, Anon. It will be fun!"
"Luna, I'm too big for you."
>She stops, rolling her eyes as you continue to stall.
>"Anon, I've told you many times now. You aren't too big to ride on my back. But if it will make you feel better, I can always shift myself to a larger size, like I have in the past."
>Out of options, you have no choice but to tell her the real reason you don't like the idea.
"Luna, I'm afraid of heights. I don't think it's a good idea."
>Her expression of minor frustration turns to one of sympathy.
>"You've never mentioned that before. You're serious, aren't you?"
>Nodding, her face suddenly lights up again.
>"Then we just have to help you get over your fears this afternoon."
>Dammit.
"No. I am perfectly fine with my reasonable fear of high places and flying, thank you very much."
>She sticks her lower lip out, pouting.
>"Please?"
>You cross your arms.
"No."
>[Please?]
"Why do you think asking me telepathically is going to make a difference?"
>[Pleeeaase?]
"You aren't going to stop until I say yes, are you?"
>She shakes her head.
"Luna, I love you, but you are such a brat."

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>>25507443

>Between insisting on washing up and getting something to eat, you do your best to stall for time.
>Unfortunately, it only adds up to a total of an hour.
>"Are you ready, Anon?"
>Luna smiles as she heads towards the balcony of her room.
>You continue to slouch on her bed, not budging an inch.
"No."
>She turns back round, disappointed.
>"Come on, what is there to fear?"
"I dunno, maybe falling off, dropping thousands of feet to my death could be the issue."
>"Anon, we've already found out you share my gift of the phoenix. You can't die."
"Well, I might smack the ground and NOT die."
>She rolls her eyes, growing impatient with you.
>"I promise to be careful and take it slow. I want to help you overcome your fears. But to do that, you must face them head-on."
>Sighing, you pull yourself to your feet.
"Fine, fine. Let's get this over with so I have time to get through the trauma before dinner."
>Luna focuses, her body glowing as her form twists and grows larger, until reaching roughly the same size as her sister.
>"Just to make sure you are comfortable, and not worrying about me."
>She kneels, and you begrudgingly hop onto her back.
"Just take it easy, please?"
>"Of course, Anon."
>She stand and walks over to the balcony.
>You take this pause to hold on tight to her neck, as you feel her muscles tense.
>Without warning, she leaps up and over the balcony, putting both of you into a swan dive.
"Luna, I said take it easy!"
>You can't hear her with the onrush of wind past your ears, but you can feel her giggling.
>After a few moments of freefall, her massive wings open, the deceleration pressing you into her body.
>Leveling out in a glide, Luna begins to flap her majestic wings, rapidly gaining altitude.
>Tightening your stronghold on her neck, you don't dare to look down to see how high up you are, as you catch your breath.
"You call this easy?!"

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>>25507461

>"Mmm, no. But in order for you to overcome your fears, we must face the worst case scenario of your fear, the root of it all."
"You couldn't just tell me that was your plan?!"
>She turns her head, smiling.
>"If you knew what my plan was, it wouldn't be that scary, would it?"
"Luna, when we land, I'm going to kill you."
>She erupts in laughter, abruptly pulling up and over, until you are both flying upside down.
>Instead of feeling gravity shift to pulling you away from her body, you feel no change.
>The blue alicorn seems to sense your confusion.
>"Anon, as long as I have the ability to fly and my magic, you cannot fall off."
"So basically, I'm super-glued to you?"
>"An interesting way to look at it, but yes. In a sense."
>Allowing yourself to relax a bit, you loosen up your deathgrip on Luna's neck, sitting more upright.
>The two of you roll back over, moving along at a leisurely pace at this point.
>"I take it you aren't quite as terrified as you were?"
>You reach up and scratch her behind the ear.
"No, this isn't too bad."
>As if on cue, she tucks in her wings, throwing the two of you into a deep dive.
"Well it wasn't bad!"
>"You seem comfortable in the air in a calm flight now, so I figured it's time to put the rest of your fears to bed."
>You growl.
"What happened to taking it slow, Moonbutt?"
>"I seem to recall somepony not taking it slow in my first ridealong in his vehicle."
>She turns her head again, giving you a sly wink.
"So this is about returning a favor?"
>"Not at all."
>Luna's wings stretch out again, acting as a massive airbrake to slow you to a stop.
>"I am merely showing you how much control I have, to assure you nothing will happen to you up here when you are with me."
>"I thought I heard yelling coming from up here."
>You and Luna continue to hover, turning around to the direction of the voice.
"Hi, Celly."
>"Sister? Aren't you supposed to be in the throne room?"
>Celestia's graceful wings flap slowly, as she just chuckles.

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>>25507478

>"Well, yes. It's been a very quiet day once again, so I decided to go for a stroll. Until hearing the two of you causing a commotion, that is. What are you doing?"
>Luna speaks up, her voice filled with excitement.
>"We're working on Anon's fear of heights and flying!"
>Tia seems surprised.
>"Anon, I didn't know you had a fear of heights."
>You shrug.
"It never came up in conversation, I guess. I have to say though, I'm a little bit more comfortable with it, with Luna."
>You stop yourself.
"At least, when she's not showing off."
>Celestia's eyes dart to her sister, smirking.
>"Luna would never do that, I'm sure."
>Jutting her chest out, Luna shakes her head.
>"I would never do such a thing."
>With a giggle, Celestia turns away.
>"I thought so. Now, race you back to the castle!"
>With that, Celestia pins her wings back, diving toward Canterlot.
>You have just enough time to wrap your arms around Luna's neck before the two of you plunge into a dive after her.
>But rather than fear, your heart beats with excitement.
>You lean into Luna's body, trying to streamline yourself as much as possible.
>"Now you're getting into the spirit of it, Anon!"
"Don't let her win, Luna."
>As if fueled by your words, Luna pushes herself to go faster, her wings flapping in a fury.
>Celestia doesn't stand a chance, and as the two of you whoosh by, you take a moment to wave at her.
"See you at the castle!"

>"After all these years, you still don't have the speed to match me, sister."
>Celestia lands not long after you've hopped off Luna's back.
>"I thought I had a chance with you having some extra weight with you. Clearly I was mistaken."
>Luna nuzzles you as you ruffle her mane, her breathing subsiding to calmer levels.
>"I take it your fear has subsided somewhat?"
>Smiling, you nod.
"Definitely more comfortable, though I won't say I won't still be nervous for next time. But that was pretty cool."

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>>25507500

>The three of you head for the castle, the two sisters no doubt looking for something to drink.
>As you pass by the garage, you remember something you found earlier when cleaning up the Superbird.
"Hey Luna, I was cleaning out the inside of the car earlier, and I found an old book under the seat. I don't recognize the writing at all, I assume it's yours?"
>Luna steps awkwardly, nearly falling flat on her face.
>"I... probably, yes."
>That's certainly an odd answer.
"What is it?"
>She clears her throat, as all three of you have stopped walking at this point.
>"Your loss was.... extremely difficult, as you can imagine, Anonymous. I regret to say I was willing to turn to rather.... forbidden methods to bring you back. It is likely fortunately the idea did not work."
>She looks around to avoid eye contact, clearly embarrassed.
"You mean like necromancy?"
>Celestia's eyes go wide, as Luna gasps.
>"You have heard of such a thing?"
>You shrug.
"Well, yeah. I mean, it doesn't technically exist where I'm from, but it exists in legend."
>The two exchange glances, before Celestia speaks up.
>"We definitely need to discuss more of your world at some point in time. You seem to know a fair bit about magic, despite its lack of existence."
"Sure. Trust me, this is all just as odd to me as it is to you."
>Your small group resumes your stroll back into the castle.
"Speaking of me being gone, what did I miss as far as the interrogation? Did we learn anything?"
>"You really don't remember anything from that day?"
>Luna turns her head to you with intense curiosity.
"No, I really don't. Is that bad?"
>"I do not think it is an issue, Anon. It is just different. You see, whenever Luna or I rise again, we can remember what happened. Not to mention remembering the pain of the flames of rebirth."
>Luna shudders.
>"Consider it a blessing, Anonymous. Perhaps your mind has blocked it out."

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>>25507515

"Okay. Anyways, back to the original question?"
>"Right. It seems the prisoner we have is somewhat important. While nopony really knows the internal workings of the changeling's social structure, the one we have is among the first born to Chrysalis. Unfortunately, the only other information we got before your... incident, is something we had already heard. Chrysalis does not want you dead."
"Sooo, what does she want?"
>"Your power. Or perhaps more specific, Nightmare Moon's power contained in you. She doesn't know what it is as far as we can tell, but you certainly made an impression on her when the two of you met."
"That sounds just as bad as wanting me dead. Of course, the death scenario would be a lot better now with what we know."
>Luna playfully bops you with a wing.
"Just saying. "

http://pastebin.com/u/AutoPony

>>25507543
Gud mang, I liek dis storee

>>25504527
Source?

>>25508306
http://nobbyonlydraws.tumblr.com/post/112478225756

>>25508890
>http://nobbyonlydraws.tumblr.com/post/112478225756
Thanks

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>>25501552

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>>25507543

>>25507543
yes

>>25509048
No prob, senpai.

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>>25508890
My favorite.

>>25494624
After their 554th and 523rd year since their respective births, they felt they could use a little, "spice", in their lives.
Those events occurred before her banishment, and they couldn't wait to rekindle what they lost those many moons ago.

>>25512791
Fucking lewd Rarity you fucking slut.

>>25513724
No wonder she's so quick to recognize lewdness.

>>25513724
Never really been a fan of Dresshorse.
I would totally leave a floater in her toilet though.

>>25514320
wouldstill/10

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>>25514320
>dress horse success goes straight to her ass

>>25514320
They know if you are fapping to them or not.
Remember to praise your waifu.
They need your seed.

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>>25515586
Ulp, ulp, ulp.

>>25515780
Their magic gets stronger the more we give them. So please, spank it to your waifu. Call out their name when you climax. And make sure you build a shine dedicated to that ass.

>>25515586
All I have are sunflower and celery seeds. Maybe some fennel too.

>>25516910
It's the fact that you are willing to give that matters. Your waifu will understand.

>Be Anon.
>You're tired.
>You thought it would be a good idea to prank Moonbutt.
>It was not.
>All you dream about are giant futa versions of Rainbow Dash that mercilessly cornhole you until you wake up the next morning.
>You shouldn't have jacked off into her cereal when she wasn't looking.
>Who are you kidding.
>You'd do it again.

>>25515570
>>25515586
>winged waifu grounded due to an acute case of 'ass too fat'
Perfectly fine with this metacanon

>>25517750
Who's your waifu.

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>>25514320

>>25517821
Spitfire

>>25518326
Well if her butt's that fat then that suit is going be be verrry tight.

>>25518345
That's a great part.

>>25518382
You should give a it a feel.

>>25518387
Is that green bait?

>>25518487
It wasn't but I'm not stopping you.

>>25518487
>Day fishing in Equestria.
>You are Anon, but ponk is also with you.
>"HI!"
>You're both on the roof of Sugarcube Corner, fishing.
>You feel a tug on your line.
>Giving it a firm yank, you begin to reel in your catch.
>It's Pinkie Pie again.
>You remove the sharp hook from her now-bleeding mouth.
>You throw her into the bucket where she flops about for a moment before joining the others in swimming around in circles.
>So far you've mostly just caught pinkie a lot, she can't seem to resist your gummy worm bait.
>Such is life in Ponyville.

>>25487647
That'll be four bucks, baby. You want fries with that?

>>25518623
I think he left.
With nuts

>>25487647
No sleep till more than /ksg/.

>>25520401
what's sleep?

>>25520532
That thing we do between masturbating.

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R-ing story based on pic.

>>25522872
No.
>"Please?"
No.
>"I can't do it myself."
I'm not pulling floss out of your ass again.
>"But it itches."
Then stop eating it.
>"I like mint."

>>25523141
anon thats gross

>>25523162
Of course it is. They are all smelly garbage eating stink horses.

>>25522872
Princess Celestia needs to be taught that Ponies go outside.


crosspostan
>>25524055
Coffee wells confirmed.

>Be Anon, prospector.
>You've been riding around on your pony randomly hitting the ground with a pickaxe for about a week now.
>And it's finally paid off.
>There's a black-brown liquid slowly filling the bottom of the hole you just struck.
>You kneel down and take a sniff to be sure.
>Yep, that's coffee alright.
>Brown Gold, Turkish Tea, the lifeblood of civilization.
>Now you can finally move out of that hick town to a real city.
>No more Rarity eating your clothes.
>No more fluttershy destroying your veggie patch.
>Yep, it's the Canterlot life for you now.

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>>25524258
That's not yours.

>>25524289
...
That jackhammer is turned off.

>>25522872
>Two years in Equestria.
>Sounds grand, doesn't it? Yeah, it's all colourful horses that break into song at the drop of the hat, and they were delighted with me and my weirdness when I first popped into the place.
>But you know what? It's not that different from home after you scrub off the colours; you still gotta pay for rent and food at the end of the day.I would have thought ponies were all commie scum, but they can be just as vicious about money as any ape.
>Job hunting was kinda shit; never been much into farmwork, can't fly, and fucking don't talk to me about the kind of shit magic can do. There is a decided bias there when it comes to any kind of manual labour; if their buttstamp is even the leastbit related to the position, they get it.
>As it turns out though, paperwork is something that always needs to be done, so I got setup as a minor government clerk at the capitol. Pay is decent, job is cushy, and I even scored an office with a window. Life is looking up. Certainly much better than my days as a prostitute in Vegas- haven't had to get my ass reemed out to pay rent once since I've been here.
>Today's inbox is to the tits with early tax forms. Easy shit that I can blow through in a couple of hours, maybe impress Tidy Note a bit and get to have some more fun in the supply room this afternoon. Fuck yeah, Equestr-
*SMASH*

>>25524449
JESUS FUCK
>Glass everywhere. Desk crushed. Papers- fuck sake my papers are a mess. Calculator is in pieces, and worse, there is a great big horse's ass on my chest.
>Normally this is not an unpleasant experience, but fuck, I got work to do.
>Celestia struggles a bit to right herself, hooves flailing, crushing a drawer with my carefully filed documents.
>Try to ask her politely to get off, but all I can manage is a strangled wheeze as cakebutt finally hoists herself upright, grinding her damn.... what are those joints on a horseleg called again? The bit that would be the 'heel'. It's fucking bony, anyway, and it feels like they are grinding the meat from my ribs.
>Finally notices the cushion she landed on.
>"Oh dear, I'm so sorry Anon!"
wheeeze
>The weight of the entire sun is lifted. I can breathe again.
>Notice that her breath smells like an Apple Family cider cellar.
>Drinking and flying. Classy.
>At least she helps me up. Her magic feels nice- kinda like being wrapped in a fresh-from-the-dryer blanket. The comfort is fleeting though as I survey the destruction. I probably look upset. She looks embarrassed; hiding her face a bit behind her man and one hoof.
>I level a mild glare onto her, and she retreats a bit more into her mane.
Sigh.
>I can't stay mad at her.
>Reach out and pat her on the shoulder, opening my mouth to offer a gentle rebuke and maybe some assurance that I wasn't actually hurt, despiute my chest being caved in.
>On my touch, she suddenly turns directly to face me and, smiling like a deranged animal, shouts right into my face
>"I'm a princess! Are you a princess too?!"
>nowords.jpg
>She starts to giggle.
No.
>"Oh come, Anon! It is ju-"
No.
>Gently but firmly push her towards the door. She's pouting.
>"Anon, please, It was just a da-"
No.
>She flops over, but I am undeterred. I lay hands upon the glory of the sun and shove her out the door.
>Two years in Equestria. Sounds great, doesn't it?
therewasanattempt.jpg

>>25524419
I take it you don't have experience with those types of switches. See, the depressed part, the part that was pushed, is the ON side. Extrapolate from there.

>>25524452
>>25524449
>I
"I" ain't doin shit, you hear me Anon.

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>>25524809
Sorry

>Day 34 in Futaquestria.
>You are Anon, and your anus is sore.
>Little large cocked girl ponies keep fucking you in the butt.
>You'd tell them no, but that ask you so politely.
>And you are Canadian after all eh.

>>25524997
Dude
Weed
lmao

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>>25525033
Probably one of the best compliments I've had on here. Blaze on my fellow space cadet.

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>>25524997
I like futa's concept but the stories are all terrible.

>>25525234
It would be better if it wasn't just fetish porn. Like Anon now has to deal with overly friendly hermaphrodites and their dripping she dicks.

Needless to say he either won't let them on his couch or he has it wrapped in plastic.

>Day 54 in Edgequestria.
>You've made a home here.
>Sure Pinkie is a serial killer and Twilight tries to vivisect you a couple of times a day.
>Fluttershy is an obsessed stalker and Rarity is a vicious child molester.
>Applejack and Rainbow Dash are fairly normal though. Their both either too stupid to notice or being gay is enough to set off the edge alarm.
>Anyway, you survive by virtue of being unkillable.
>You still die, but you wake up alive and whole in your bed.
>Twilight still vivisects you though. She did give you credit on the book of human anatomy she published though. So at least there's that.
>Pinkie is always baking you into cupcakes after torturing you. For some reason you're getting a fetish for this sort of thing. It makes both of you uncomfortable.
>You decided to fuck Fluttershy docile whenever she comes over.
>Rarity is a lost cause, but she keeps her predations limited to her sister. So no big loss there.
>All in all your unkillability is slowly making this place less edgy and stupid.
>Now if you could just break up Appledash. It is the worst ship ever. Who does that anyway?
>Stupid edgy gaypones.

>>25525259
This is a good idea.
>>25525757
Please expand this into a full length novel.

>Day futa in SpiderQuestria
>Because the universe hates your bunghole, the friendly magical talking spiders now have giant penises they want to stick into you
>Big floppy semen-dripping horse-penises.
>You don't know why the spiders penises look like horses, but figure that that might just be what spider penises usually look like?
>Either way, you're now on your way to buy a new extra-large raincoat from Rarity, who is the town clothesmaker spider
>You duck down and pull the tarp you are hiding under over your face as one of the giant spiders swings past on a web
>A spray of bug-cum splashes just next to you
>"Hello Darling, do come in."
>There she is now, holding the door open for you
>As you follow her inside you notice that she too is a fan of tarps, having most of the inside of her house covered with them
"I need an extra large raincoat to keep all the jizz off me"
>"It has been rather prolific lately, hasn't it? Just let me measure you and I'll get right to work."
>You put come out from under your tarp as Rarity approaches with measuring tape
>Which is exactly what she was hoping for!
>You are soon ensnared by them as she deftly wraps the tape around you
>By the time you manage to loosen it to free yourself she has secured your limbs with her webbing
>"So sorry to trick you like this, but a lady has certain needs."
>"Now bend over, darling."

>>25526041
>>You don't know why the spiders penises look like horses,

The mental image of a giant spider rarity with a penis shaped like her pony self is amusing.

>>25526100
That's even better than what i was going for.

>Day it gets worse in Spiderquestria
>You had to tempt fate, didn't you?
>You told Twilight to just wave her legs around and try to "Just throw magic at the problem until it's fixed"
>You knew deep deep down that that was a bad idea, but you just didn't listen to that inner voice of reason.
>The randy giant friendly spiders with futa cocks now have randy ponies who also have futa cocks AS futa cocks
>So now when one of them manages to engage in some "Forcey Fun Time" with you, there's not only a penis being forced into you, but everything from the haunches forward of a magical pony
>A magical dickpony who wants to put their magical dickpony dick into you while they themselves are being thrust in and out of you by whichever one of the giant magical spider townsfolk they are attached to
>It's a wonder that they can still walk with something as big as they are coming out of their crotch, but they somehow are managing it
>You really wish you could go back to just being raped by ordinary friendly futa spiders instead of these magical mostrosities
>But that would require them to stop buggering you with their new best friends
>And there isn't any sign of that happening
>Sorry.

Anyone got good AnonXRarity green? Lewd enjoyed, not necessary. Preferably no faggot Anon who's all "someone like you is actually into me?!" A blushing awkward around Anon Rararraaaa is best.

Tall order I know but I'll take whatever I can get.

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>>25527031
Can't really think of anything. Sorry.

>>25527031
Leucine did some back in the day.

>>25527074
Thanks anyway. I'll just use the OP and hope one matches what I'm looking for and that it's actually finished.

>>25527513
Got his paste? Or is it just '/u/Leucine'?

>>25527031
Ponks and Rarararaa don't get enough love, when it comes to green. If you can find anything in your search, toss it up into the thread. I know I'd love to read it.

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>>25527962
I'm always thirsty for Sunbutt and Rararara.

>>25528003
>Sunbutt
My go to for Sunbutt green has always been The Exchange.

>>25527962
Will do, if I have time to read tonight I'll post. If not I'm always in this thread so I won't forget to mention it eventually.

>>25528032
Link? And what's it about?

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Anon has the King Engine and somehow gets credit for defeating the assorted threats Equestria faces.

>>25528558
>Link?
Green: http://pastebin.com/b84cTjFa
Prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/169217/exchange

>And what's it about?
AnonxCelly adventure story.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am, my little pony. I let my anger get the better of me and because of that you were injured."
>Sergeant Hoplite squirmed in his hospital bed as you used your magic to push his blanket over him, making sure to tuck in the ends so that he'd be nice and snug
>You felt horrible
>More than horrible actually
>You had let your anger get the better of you and you had knocked one of your own sworn guards out in your rage
>He had sworn to protect you with his life, he suffered through the rigors of his training and he had fought your enemies valiantly
>And because of that... BUTT you had accidently blown his eardrums out and sent him to the castle's ward
>If Anonymous wasn't there, and if he wouldn't have set you off like he did NONE of that would have happened!
>...Where the buck did he get off acting like he did anyway?
>You had graciously offered him asylum, you made sure that he was clothed and fed, and how does he repay you?
>You looked you right in the eye and THANKED YOU
>Puff
>And the most forced, underhooved thank you you had ever heard in your entire life!
>Ponies didn't smile when thanking somepony!
>Their eyes didn't shine and sparkle like a flawless gem!
>And they most certainly didn't seem completely at ease with you, making you want to run over to them so you could hug and or maybe smell their hair while they weren't looking!
>GRRRRRRRR!
>You hate that BUTT SO MUCH!!!!
>Him and his nice smelling hair!!!
>Though anger does it's best to take your mind off of the task at hoof you brush the emotion away
>You could punish Anonymous for his transgressions later
>Right now you had to make everything right with a stallion that may as well have been one of your kids
>Walking over to Hoplite's bedside you leaned down and nuzzled his cheek
"Now, I know that the doctor said that you were fine but I want you to take a few days off to be better safe than sorry."
>Using one of your wings you brush a stray bit of hair out of his face

>>25528932
"And after you feel well enough I want you to go to your commanding officer. He'll have some words with you."
>Though giving your little pony a pay raise and a little vacation doesn't make you feel any better about this situation you hoped that it would somewhat make it up to him
>You could REALLY make it up to young Hoplite here when his birthday came around
>He might be getting that bouncy castle that he's been talking about for months...
>You couldn't help but smile at the thought as the Sergeant looked up at you with a weak smile
>"You really don't need to do all of this, your highness," he mumbled, wiggling under his sheets
>Aw
>You could just pinch his cheek!
"I might not have to do it, my little pony, but I'm going to do it anyway," you tell the colt, nuzzling his cheek one more time before stepping away
>Your horn sparked to life and the lamp on the nightstand shut off, casting the room in darkness
>You cast another spell and with a pop a night light appeared by your head
>Poor Hoplite was afraid of the dark and though you had replaced the regular hospital bed with a much nicer one you figured that this would help him drift off onto your sister's realm with ease
"Now, make sure to get some rest. I'll make sure to check up on you in the morning."
>Hoplite nodded with a yawn, snuggling under his covers
>"Yes, your highness. Thank you, your highness."
>His eyes closed as you tip-toed out of the room and quietly shut the door behind you
>The Poor dear must have been exhausted after the day that he had...
>"So did you give'em a big ol' kiss goodnight, sis?"
>Your eyes widened in surprise when you spot your dearest sister waiting for you outside Hoplite's door
>...Why was she leaning on the wall like that?
"Oh, hello Luna," you say with a smile, walking over and nuzzling her. "Did something happen? I thought that you were supposed to be at the Night Court now."
>Your sister turned around and nudged her head down the hall before she began walking

>>25528983
>Raising an eyebrow you followed
>Why hadn't she said anything?
>Was there something wrong?
>Had somepony been mean to your sister?!
>It was one of those nobles wasn't it?!?!
>"I called the Night Court off tonight, sis."
>Your eyes widen slightly and you find your paced quickening just a hair
>YOU KNEW IT!
>OHHHH! SOMEPONY WAS GOING TO GET A TALKING TO IN THE MORNING!
"Are you having trouble with the Court again, Luna?" you asked concerned. "Because if you--"
>"No, no; nothing's wrong with the Night Court, Cel," Luna said with a wave of the wing. "I just wanted to take the day off and spend some time with my big sister!"
>Really?
>...Thank goodness...
>A smile once again makes its way onto your face
>You were about to yell your sister that you'd be happy to spend a little time with her but then your mouth shuts
>You remember that it's Luna that's talking
>The sister that makes a... PASS at you at least once a day
>And you most certainly weren't okay with spending THAT kind of quality time with her
"...If spending some time with me is your way of suggesting something naughty then I'll have to decline."
>Your sister giggled, looking over her shoulder with a lewd smile
>"Are you sure about that, sister mine?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at you. "I've been working on this cock-growing spell that I'm SURE you'll really appreciate..."
>You flinched, a blush coming to your face
"I swear by the sun that something's wrong with you, Luna," you say, batting her wing-- which was trying to tickle your chest-- away with your own
>"Hey, I've always wanted to mount a mare that was bigger than me. I don't see anything wrong with that."
"I'M YOUR SISTER!"
>Slowing down until the two of your were walking side-by-side, Luna bumped your rump with her's
>"Give me twenty minutes and me being your sister will be the LAST thing on your mind~"
>Ew
>EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!
>YOUDON'TWANTANYOFTHESEIMAGESINYOURHEAD
>THEY'REDIRTY!REALLYDIRTY!

>>25529055
>Swallowing the bile in your throat, you look at you little sister disapprovingly
>And you mean REALLY lay on the disapproval
>She just chuckles, nudging you again
>"I'm just kidding, Cel," she said with a teasing grin. "I really do just want to spend some time with you. Maybe we could sit outside in the garden and enjoy some tea for a little while until you have to go to sleep?"
>You eye your sister, looking for any signs of mischief, but it honestly looked like she was being genuine
"...If that's all we're going to do then I'd be delighted," you say, your smile returning
>"Well, if you'd want to--"
"Moon. I swear MOON."
>You shake your head as Luna breaks into another fit of giggles
>While you were a BIT suspicious that your beloved sister would want to spend some time with you that suspicion Tripled when you saw that a table was already set up outside
>With tea and cakes and everything
>That meant that Luna had PREPARED this beforehoof
>And she NEVER prepared for anything
>AND she made tea
>She HATED tea
>You knew your sister
>She wanted to butter you up for something
>You could just FEEL it in your bones
>"You alright there, sis?"
>Blinking, you look across the table and see that Luna had already sat down
>Your nose scrunches up slightly
>What to do, what to do?
>Should you just ask her what she wanted so that the two of you could enjoy the night together?
>Or did you let Luna take this in whatever direction she wanted so that she could ask in her own time?
>...
>Buck it
>You were asking her
"What do you want, Luna?" you bluntly asked, sitting yourself down as Luna poured the two of you some tea
>"I have no idea what you're talking about, Celestia," Luna said with a dainty sniff. "I just wanted to sit out here and have tea with you."
>Horse apples
"Horse apples. Now why don't you just tell me what you want or what's on your mind."
>Please don't let it be about having a national orgy day
>Anything but that please!

>>25529122
>You knew you'd lose it if she tried to bring it up again
>YOU KNEW!
>Luna sighed and took a sip of her tea
>"...What gave it away? Was it the tea?"
>Making a face she poured the tea out onto the grass and magicked a big cup of what you assumed was coffee
>You couldn't help but giggle as she took a big gulp of her probably molten hot drink and started to swirl it around in her mouth, no doubt trying to get rid of the tea taste
"Well we both know how much you hate tea," you say, taking a sip of your tea
>Hmmm
>Earl Grey
>That's the stuff right there
>It's good for the soul
>"You could have at least let me get into the buttering up a bit," your sister said, sounding a bit disappointed. "I had this whole thing set up..."
>You lean back and cross your hooves
"Well you don't anymore, sister mine. Now tell me what's bothering you."
>If it's national orgy day you're gonna lose it
>You're gonna lose it SO hard
>Luna's nose scrunches up
>"Alright... fine."
>She leans forward
>"We need to talk about you bothering my little human, sister."
>It takes a few seconds for you to register what your dearest sister had said but when you did you weren't too happy about it
>The anger that had been brewing in your stomach since this morning started to once again resurface
>In your mind's eye you could see that... BUTT
>That dumb smile on his face
>His funny looking clothes
>His weird grabby bits!
>HISWEIRDGRABBYBITS
>YOUKNEWTHEYWERECALLEDHANDSBUTBUCKIT
>BUCKIT!!!!
>A snort escaped you as your eyes narrowed
"Yes, I believe that you're right, Luna," you said, a hint of anger in your voice. "I do believe that the two of us need to discuss what needs to be done about that... Ne'er-do-well."
>You could feel your body start to get warm with righteous fury and your wings started to twitch
>In fact if you weren't such a calm and collected mare you might have flipped this table in your quickly building rage

>>25529192
>Though you were sure that Luna could see the anger on your face your little sister barely blinked
>"Come on, Cell, there's no need to get huffy like that. You know that Anon--"
"I will NOT have that menace's name said in my presence, Luna," you snap, slamming a hoof on the table. "That human is a terror! A nuisance! A... A... BUTT!"
>Your breath started to quicken as your sister just stared at you, her eyes narrowing
>You didn't like that contemplative look on her face but you weren't in the state to call her out on it
"I tried to be the kind and loving ruler! I tried to offer a hoof in peace by letting... HIM stay in our castle, even though I was against it--"
>"I recall you insisting that Anon stay in the castle, Sister, even after everypony, Anon included, asked that you let him stay in Ponyville with your student."
>SHE SAID HIS NAME AGAIN!!
>AND SHE JUST DIDN'T SAY HIS NAME AGAIN SHE SAID IT TWICE!!!!!!!
>TWICE!!!!
"--And what does he do? He terrorizes the castle staff--"
>"Cell."
"--He puts my guards on edge with his very presence--"
>"Most of the guard and the staff are Anon's friends, Ce--"
"--He encourages your filthy behavior! He might have made them wor--"
>You couldn't help but jump as your little sister slams her hooves against the table
>"Hey!Thousands of years of delving into filthy dreams made me the pervert I am today!" she growled. "And we both know that Anon hasn't hurt a bucking FLY since he's been here!"
>She leaned across the table, indignation burning in her eyes
>Not one to be cowed you leaned forward yourself
"I don't understand why you've taken such a shine to that... that... cretin, Luna! Everywhere he goes he causes mischief and mayhem!"
>"He does not and you know--"
>Your sister's eyes widened and she fell back into her seat, realization coming to her face
>Was?...
>Did your words finally convince her?
>...You actually think so...
>You couldn't help but beam

>>25529273
>You must have finally said something that convinced her that that b-baka was up to no good!
>Quick!
>Press the advantage!
"And not only that I find that he's ugly and he has an unpleasant odor," you continue, hoping to drive your point home. "We must do something about him and quickly, before--"
>"Let's banish him, Sister."
>You nearly fall out of your chair in surprise
"...W-What?"
>Luna calmly took a sip of her coffee as you stared at her in confusion
>"You're right sister. Anonymous IS stinky and smelly and dumb and up to no good."
>She took another sip
>"Why just the other day I followed him into the marketplace since he wanted a carton of blackberries since the kitchen doesn't stock them. I watched as he walked up to the stand where a pretty young mare was selling what this BEAST yarned for--"
>Though you could hear just a bit of sarcasm in Luna's tone you ignored it and listened
>You might have not TOTALLY agreed with banishing that butthead but it seemed like your sister had some juicy information on him
>YES!
>You were sure of it!
>Your sister had some proof of that dummy's vileness!
>You could--
>"And she flirted with him, Cell."
>Your eye twitched as your sister raised her hooves and started wiggling them while making ghost sounds
>"She flirted with him and he... flirted... baaaaccccckkkkk!!!"
>...
>Without thinking you grabbed the end of the table
>With a red face and flames exploding across your mane you throw the table across the garden, sending tea and cakes and coffee everywhere
"WHAT THE BUCK WAS HER NAME?! WHAT DID SHE LOOK LIKE?!" you screamed, getting into your sister's face. "DO YOU THIN--epp!"
>Rolling her eyes Luna licked your nose, and in your surprise you stumbled backwards and fell onto your rump
>...Ow
>"I too share your concern, sister mine," Luna said, sounding... smug? "Anonymous is not only stomping around our castle like he owns the place also he's trying to seduce the populace!"

>>25529321
>Another feeling starts to overpower the rage in your belly
>"Just the thought of him settling down with some random mare, holding her close while they slept together, kissing her after a difficult day, cooking and eating a meal together just makes me sick to my stomach!"
>And if you didn't know any better you would have said that the feeling you were feeling was jealousy
>B-But you knew that that was a load of horse apples
>W-What did you have to be jealous a-about?
>I-It wasn't like you wanted to be kissed or held by that green dummy!!
>Nope!
>You didn't want that ONE LITTLE BIT!
>No siree!
>Not you!
>"I might have once thought that he was my friend but I think you convinced me that he's too great a threat to be living under our roof, sister."
>Using her magic Luna summoned up another cup of coffee while you squirmed under her gaze FOR NO REASON!
>"So let's banish Anon to the farthest reaches of Equestria. That way he won't bother anypony ever--"
"W-Wait..."
>Wow
>Is this grass interesting or what?
>You could stare at it all day
"W-We can't just BANISH him..."
>Your sister raised an eyebrow
>"We are the rulers of this kingdom, Celestia. If we wish to banish somepony I think we can get away with it."
>While your sister WAS technically right you couldn't do something like that
>While you HATED that dummy's guts banishing somepony without good cause wasn't right
>You liked to think that you were a good ruler; not a dictator that did what she wanted consequences be damned!
>"...But if you need a reason to properly punish Anon then why don't you have somepony watch him?"
>...
>...
>...
>That...
>THAT'S GENIUS!
>IF YOU HAD SOMEPONY FOLLOW THAT B-BAKA AROUND YOU COULD SEE WHAT HE WAS UP TO!
>...What he liked
>What his hobbies were
>What were his preferences were in a mar-- MARKER!
>IN A MARKER!
>FOR COLORING AND S-STUFF!
"Y-Yes... That is an excellent idea, sister mine," you say, rubbing your hooves together in glee
>Oh!

>>25529357
>He was going to get it SOOOOO hard when you find proof of his evilness!
>Humming, Luna hopped out of her chair and sat next to you
>"But who should we assign to tail him?" she asked
>You opened your mouth to answer but closely closed it
>That's... That's a good question...
>WHO would you and your sister send to watch this vile, dumb, smelly creature?
>You couldn't send any of your guards
>Most of them had already been won over by his silver tongue
>And Twilight and her friends were over in the Minotaur lands dealing with a friendship problem...
>Hmmmm....
>Who to choose, who to choose...
>Wait, you got it
"I'll do it."
>Luna smiles, nearly giggling, before her face becomes disapproving and stern
>"You, sister? Don't be ridiculous!"
>The floor now seems a heck of a lot less interesting, which means you're able to look up at your dear sister
>Aw
>She's worried that that BUTT might do something to you...
>You square your shoulders and smile, extending a wing and placing it on her shoulder
"I'm the only one that can do this, Luna," you say. "Everypony else that might be able to tail him have already brushed him off as harmless."
>Luna opens her mouth to say something but you cut her off by raising a hoof
"And you cannot do it because if he sees you he might become suspicious. I have the power to remain unseen, I can defend myself if I have to and I haven't succumbed to his influence. Though I appreciate your worry only I can do this."
>It might cut into your duties and free time but there was no helping that
>HE was up to something
>You KNEW it
>And you were going to find out what that something was, even if you had to stal-- follow him around for the rest of his life
>Hiding in his closet
>Searching through his things

>>25529378
>Watching him show--
>"Very well then, sister," you sister, the picture of solemn, said. "If that is your wish then I will not stop you."
>Standing up you pull your sister into a quick hug before turning around and trotting back toward the castle
"It is. Now I hope you will excuse me, sister, but there is much to do!"
>As you make your way back to the castle, the visions of bringing HIM to justice, you don't notice your sister chuckling to herself
>You also don't hear what she says when you're out of earshot:
>"So THAT'S what's got you all in a tizzy huh? Heh, this is going to be SOMETHING alright..."

>>25529392
Alright, I'm done for the night. Comments appreciated

>>25529401
>Comments appreciated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO-KR-14uXM

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>>25529392
This was silly and cute.

>>25529401
God, I fucking hate tsunderes. B-but, it's okay if y-you want to keep writing them. Baka.

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>>25529401
It will truly be AiE's darkest day when you finally succumb to the ded

>>25518568
pfft

>>25529401
I didnt expect the banishment idea. I cant wait to see where this goes

>>25524997
Change that no to maybe, and that last line to
>And you are attracted to them, after all
And you have me.

>>25529727
>"What is TSUNDERE?"

>>25529055
>"Are you sure about that, sister mine?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at you. "I've been working on this cock-growing spell that I'm SURE you'll really appreciate..."
I would think she'd say "phallus-growing spell" instead, as it sounds more regal.

>>25532125
.....She's talking about fucking her sister mate. I don't think regal is what she was going for.

>>25529321
>Luna licks your nose
this should be a meme that is used when someone is going on a violent raging anus-tearing dong-expanding tirade and they need to be calmed down.

>>25532154
I know "regal" wasn't the word to use, but I couldn't think of how to word it when I said it. It just sounds like it would match her speech better.

>>25528645
Sweet, thanks.
>AnonxCelly adventure story
Can you be more specific? Does it try to be edgy? Basically, is it a solid read? Thanks in advance.

>>25532614
It's a bit silly, but other than that it's a good read.

>>25532614
Twalot's plans to mindbreak and rape Anon into oblivion are pretty edgy, but the rest of it is a fairly solid and entertaining read.

>>25532630
I'd rather silly and cute that trying to be too serious. They just never come out that good, save for a few.

I'll give it a read, thanks.

>>25532638
Ha, well if it's good over I'll deal

>>25532638
To be fair she is being possessed by an ancient artifact at that point. Before then she's just annoyingly obsessed with Anon and too spaghetti to deal with her feelings like an adult.

>>25532680
I just find it hilarious that she effectively keks herself by pushing Anon into the waiting hooves of another mare during the period where he's just not into horse pussy. If she hadn't fucked that up so royally, she would've had a much better chance at him.

>>25532744
I thought the point was that they had no chemistry and it would have never have worked anyway. She couldn't even drink coffee. Would not bang twice.

>>25532856
There's that and The Exchange Celestia is GOAT.

>>25532888
Your digits don't lie.
That fic is why I became a sunfag.
I dedicate my seed to her every day.
But not today.
I'm a bit chaffed and need to take a break for a day or two.
The air is too dry here.

>Dear Princess Celestia,
>You've been a great friend to me since I've been here. Your sister too. I don't know what it would have been like if you girls weren't there for me. But I can't fight anymore.
>Did you know my daughter turned ten yesterday? I haven't seen her in a while and I'm starting to forget how she looked. I should have had some pictures in my wallet. She deserves better than that.
>I'm fairly sure my wife and her think I ran out on them. Things were not easy when I got pulled here. I'd like to think we would have pulled through. Guess we'll never know.
>So this is goodbye. I know it isn't fair to you, but I can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry.

>With love and regret,
>Anonymous.

>p.s. I totally left Twilight a note blaming her for everything. If you read the first letter of every line it spells out "Just Kidding." I wonder how long it'll take for her to figure it out.

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>>25533594
>Did you know my daughter turned ten yesterday?

At least you'll always know that you were her first.
You'll both always have that.
She misses you, Anon.

>>25527513
Just read Leucine's 'For the Sake of a Lady'
Rara story if that other anon is still looking too.
Full of the old tropy AiE rapey/occ pone, but the cute parts are damn good. Also, lewd.

>"Name's Aether and this here's Wuten."
I didn't expect these feels. Haven't seen those names in a long time.
Old AiE was only a few years ago, whys it feel like much more?

>>25533953
>Old AiE was only a few years ago, whys it feel like much more?

Because like me you are here every day.

>>25533594
Feels plus a hardy kek. This anon knows.

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>>25533963
I should really right something. I've lurked and commented since the double digits and I've never wrote shit.

>>25533978
I've written and have a pastebin, but I'm not good at long stories so I just do thread bumpers. Do those. They don't have to be very long or very good, but please no more fart jokes. We have enough of those.

>>25534064
Maybe I'll try it out. How do you come up with ideas? I know there's always some requests, but a lot of the time they're crap.

>>25534064
>You are Anonymous.
>And you have a very sore bottom.
>It turns out that ponies get a lot less caring and friendly after a few hundred fart jokes.
>The whole town got together and voted to enforce a blockade on your anus.
>Now there is a painfully large cork glued into your rectum
>But you are strong.
>You will not let this stop you.
>You stealthily hold a sharp knife under your shirt and approach Twilight.
"Pull my finger"
>Twilight grimaces and tries to ignore you.
"Right, no hands to pull it with. I'll pull it for you"
>You give your finger a tug while closing the distance between her and you.
>When you're close enough to feel her fur brushing against your leg you plunge the knife into your belly.
>It hurts, but you endure.
>And from the new hole in your abdomen you let loose a foul blast, the product of a whole week of having your anus blocked.
>Blood, shit, and foul bum-gas covers the formerly purple pony princess.
>Having tasted victory one last time, you collapse to the ground.

>>25531928
a miserable pile of lies and Desu

>>25534085
Just don't take yourself seriously and write something silly and/or gross. Like our lord and savior Durnk. >>25534119

>>25534119
What is in your alcohol supply?

>>25534225
Magic and win as far as I can tell.

>>25534223
I got that much, it's more the way good greens are broken up and worded.
>inb4 practice
Ok nigger fine, I'll see what I can do.
Not now though, gotta show and get my ass to class.

>>25534233
Now I want some.

>>25534244
got me in the mood for an irish coffee this mornin

Hello, fagets. I got an idea for some nice green earlier this morning. I'll try to post it sometime this afternoon because I've got shit to do today.

>>25535275
das cute mang

>>25535282
Indeed

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>You're still in bed when it happens
>A disturbance rumbles through space and time
>Across a thousand universes, both teeming with life and vacant
>In its wake it leaves these places changed forever
>And it comes from a very familiar place
>Leaping out of bed, you rush out the door, pulling your pants on as you hop down the street
>You're still wrestling with the shirt as you burst into Twilight's castle
"Purple nerd!"
>"Anonymous?"
>The Princess of Friendship peeks out from her library
>"What's wrong, you seem-"
>Grabbing her by the cheeks, you glare at the alicorn princess
"Twilight. I need you to separate this place from the universal chain."
>"What? Anonymous, I can't- What are you even talking about?"
>Putting yourself eye level with the pony, you increase your insistence
"Twi, we are all in very real danger. There is a ripple that is coming towards us, and if we don't do something then-"
>The castle rumbles and shakes abruptly
>Your hands relax as they drop to your sides
"No. No. It's too late."
>"Anonymous, you're not making any sense."
>You turn back to Twilight Porkle as she wrinkles her snout and gives a small snort
>The horned pig looks up at you in confusion.
>"Now please, tell me what's going on."
>Taking a deep breath, you sigh.
"Twilight, everything's changed... he's finally off the boat."

>>25535416
I just found this thread, and now wonder who got off the boat...

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>>25535443
>>>/a/133925435

IT'S HAPPENING

>>25535471
>>25535443
>>25535416
Goddamnit! I'm going to be reading 7 years worth of stuff for something until 3 am aren't I?

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>>25535748
Good news for you it's not a whole seven years. It is a while though.

>>25535471
>>25535748
>>25536068
Explain?

>>25536104
The manga Berserk is a monthly publication that began serialization back in the early nineties. Due to multiple delays and hiatuses Guts, the central character of the story, has been on a boat for the whole time. Readers have been waiting seven years for him to make port. In short:
>Are they still on the boat?
vastly exceeds
>Are they still on Namek?
in terms of 'the never ending ride'

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>>25536189
Maybe he finally played enough idolm@asters.

>>25536189
So, it wasn't actually a monthly publication due to all the delays? Meaning they didn't make one a month for 7 years of just this dude on a boat. It was a long(?) story arc that just kept hitting walls in production? And I'm assuming the actual manga had a lot of issues in those 7 years? Or was it really that slow?
I think I'm understanding this correctly.

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You know you would.

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>>25536679
I like it when Luna and Celestia are a bit bigger.

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>>25536679
Of course. If I knew that I'd get a pair of celestial alicorns, I'd an hero right now.

>>25536713
I like 'em a bit smaller than that
>pic related

Having said that, I wouldn't kick the ones you're sporting out of bed. Not at all.

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Thread seems like it's on a princess spree lately. Would love to help out.

http://pastebin.com/cFemKwRW

>The door closes shut with an audible clunk
>Multiple clicks are heard as all the locks and latches are put into place
“Bubble up?” you ask Celestia.
>Her eyes close and her horn lights up.
>She smiles. ”Bubble’s up.”
>Celestia has been acting funny for the past few days
>Not the nervous or uncomfortable kind of funny, either. That’s normal.
>She’s been really… bubbly lately.
>Like today. She couldn’t even concentrate on her paperwork because she just kept staring at you and giggling like a schoolfilly
>You eventually had to leave the room just so she could write a few signatures.
>You suppose it could be because your three-year anniversary is today
>but she was never /this/ excited for the last two.

>>25536987
>You quirk an eyebrow at the giant filly
“Alright, what’s up? You’ve been acting like you got ahold of a ten-layer chocolate cake again.”
>She bounces from hoof to hoof. She’s practically Pinkie Pie at this point. “Anon, I’ve got some very, very exciting news!”
“No. No, really?”
>”Yes!” she exclaims. “Just recently, I—”
“Are you sure it’s exciting?” you cut her off. “You don’t seem that excited. If you were more excited maybe I’d believe you, but—”
>”Anon!” she whines. “Just listen!”
>You put up your hands, chuckling.
“Alright, alright. What’s had you so excited for three days straight? I mean, I’m excited for our anniversary too, but aren’t you taking it a little far?”
>She jabs you in the stomach.
>”If you would stop making stupid jokes for a moment and let me talk, maybe you would find out.”
>In spite of how you’re clutching your stomach right now, you give her a weak-looking smirk.
“Ooh, sassy princess. I think I like that.”
>”Next is your kneecaps if you don’t be quiet.”
“Okay, done interrupting.”

>”Good. Now, this is something I’ve been working on for years; before you even arrived in Equestria, I believe. I just put the final touches on it a few days ago, and decided that this would be my anniversary surprise to you.”
>She’s been working on ‘it,’ whatever it is, since before you even came here.
>Makes you wish you’d worked a little harder on your own gift. Or even had it ready by tonight.
>She seems to notice your distress.
>She stops bouncing, tilting her head in confusion. “What?”
“Well, the way you describe it, it kinda puts my gift in perspective.”
>Her sunny demeanor quickly returns. ”Oh, don’t you worry about that!” She wraps a wing around you and begins pulling you into one of the adjacent rooms. “Now, come! I can’t wait to see the look on your face.”

Gonna be posting as I go, anyone feel free to post

>>25537018
Nigga, you have my attention.

thought i would share this, i try to keep a up to date active list list,

http://pastebin.com/y4ALc2gv

this should have every update to it sense it started, i may have missed one update or so, but its mostly there.

>>25537018
>You sit on the side of Celestia’s bed, watching her run back and forth across the bedroom gathering all sorts of scrolls, notes, drawings, etc
>You can’t help but notice the striking similarities she bears with Twilight Spergle right now.
>”...a-a-and here we are! The last one!”
>She adds one last scroll to the small hill of paper in the middle of her bedroom.
>She stands there, panting and smiling.
>You tilt your head, wondering what the pile of papers might be.
>Your best guess: some kind of super-complicated spell.
>”Now, before I begin, I just have a few questions to ask you.”
“Fire away.”
>”Question one: you are aware of how ascension works, aren’t you? Just the concept of it, I mean.”
>You believe you learned about it from a certain purple princess.
“Yeah. You have to like… do something… with the Elements of Harmony?”
>You sounded real smart there.
>Thanks, brain.
>Celestia, to her credit, doesn’t laugh at your ignorance.
>”That is one of the ways to gain immortality. As for myself, I took a slightly… different route.”
>You tilt your head.
“Really?”
>”Yes. But let’s save that for another time.” She smiles. “Anon, have you ever wondered what I may have looked like before my ascension?”
>You think about that for a moment.
>Over the last three years, Celestia has really told you fairly little about her past, other than things that had happened in this half of the century. Most of the things you’re aware of are major events from the history books that most ponies learn in school anyway.
>Nightmare Moon, Discord, etc
>In fact, she even let you live under the assumption for the better part of a year that she was born as an alicorn.
>She’s not super tight-lipped about her past. Whenever you’ve asked her, she’s always responded to the best of her abilities. Even so, she’s never been the one to bring it up, and even when you do ask her it always seems to make her uncomfortable.

>>25537197
I like where this is going.

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>>25537084>>25537374
I think you will. I hope so

>>25537197
>So, you try to keep your questions to a minimum.
“It’s crossed my mind at some point, I’m sure,” you respond to her earlier question. “Why though?”
>”Well… How would you like to find out?”

>You raise an eyebrow at the question.
“What do you mean?”
>”I mean, what if I could show you what I looked like the day I ascended? Average mare body, average pony mane, the whole nine hooves?”
>You take a look at the pile of papers on the ground.
“Seems like a lot of work for a transformation spell, doesn’t it?”
>This sparks her excitement again. “But that’s just it! It isn’t a transformation spell! That just wouldn’t do it justice.”
>You frown.
“Okay, I’m confused now.”
>”Think of it this way, Anon. Sure, I could take the easy route, and use a simple transformation spell. There are multiple ones that would work, and I could even add in a voice changer for the full effect.
>”But in essence, I would still be an alicorn. I would still be much stronger and faster than regular ponies. With all of my unicorn-based transformation spells, I would still have an invisible horn were I to turn into an earth pony or pegasus. And even then, it’s been /ages/ since the day I ascended; even I don’t remember exactly what I was like.”
>You’re intrigued
“So… what? Did you find out how to use changeling magic or something?”
>She sighs. “Sadly, not yet. But it’s as I said: no transformation spells.”

>>25529727
I shall mourn for weeks at least.

>>25537567
>No transformation spells. How the hell is she going to do this without transformation spells?
>You can only think of three other ways she could show you what she used to look like.
>One, show you a picture. But that’s just too easy for Cel.
>Two, illusion spells. Although, you think you can rule that out, given what she said about not wanting an invisible horn.
>Three, well… You’re not sure if this counts as transformation…
>She seems to be waiting for you to figure it out, fidgeting in anticipation. Hesitantly, you give it your best guess.
“Not sure if this counts as transformation, but… Are you going to un-ascend or something? Descend? I don’t know what to call it.”

>She claps her hooves together happily
>”Yes! Yes! I’m going to de-ascend! Isn’t it exciting?!”
>No
>No, not really
>The thought of an entire kingdom going into civil war doesn’t sound very exciting to you.
“You don’t mean permanently, do you?”
>you ask cautiously.
>She laughs
>”Of course not, Anon! After I perform the spell once, I’ll be able to switch back and forth between mortal and immortal on a whim. Easy as pie.”
>This settles your nerves a bit. Still, you’re a bit skeptical.
“So you haven’t tested this out yet?”
>She shakes her head. “I was going to originally, but I thought that you might want to be here for the ‘first reveal,’ so to speak.”
“So, you don’t know if something could go wrong? This seems like a pretty risky spell.”
>”I wouldn’t count on anything going wrong.” She gives you a warm smile. “I appreciate your concern, though.”
>Her horn lights up, and the papers on the floor begin organizing themselves into neat little piles and rows.
“Hold on a sec. What if something does go wrong, though? What do I do?”
>”Nothing will go wrong, Anonymous,” she assures you.
>You’re getting a little frustrated and worried with this mare.

>>25537814
“Okay, so what if on the very slim off-chance something goes wrong… is there anything that I can do?”
>”Well, you can try taking cover.” She giggles.
“Goddammit, Celestia, are you serious?”
>You jump off the bed and start towards her, but before you can get within five feet of her a wall of paper surrounds her, forming what looks like a spherical grid.
>The sphere glows with a bright golden light. In the spaces between the papers you can see her sitting on the middle of it all, eyes shut in concentration.
>Arcane symbols and letterings begin appearing around her in the vicinity of the sphere. She opens her eyes, which are currently pools of light.
>She looks out at you, that ever-present smile attached to her face. “I wouldn’t get any closer, Anon. If you do, something might go wrong.”
>She then proceeds to chortle maniacally.
>You absolutely want to tackle this mare.
>You take a few steps back as a high-pitched whining fills the air.
>Despite how calm it seems where you are, inside the sphere, wind whips at her mane and tail, seemingly changing direction every other second. Celestia, for her part, calmly reads from the scrolls and notes hovering around her.
>More symbols that you don’t recognize appear around her. The aura she gives off glows brighter and brighter, increasing until the entire room has become illuminated in golden-yellow light.
>The sphere of papers comes off and organizes itself into a few piles a couple of feet away. A bright golden orb has taken its place.
>You can barely make out that smug grin of hers before you hear a loud pop, and the whole world turns white.

Sorry to keep you guys on a cliff-hanger, but I need to split.

Whether or not I write tonight depends on whether or not some stoner friends invite me to a night of adult swim off the air and family guy. I'll keep you guys posted.

>>25537997
I await with bated breath.

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>>25487631
Damn that pic is cute as fuck.

>>25539466
Blamo

>>25539474
Didn't I write that?

>>25539573
Nigga that was a long time ago, you're referring to Bros right?. Couldn't hurt to get a new take on the idea or a oneshot.

>>25539631
Flanking Maneuvers was basically the same as that prompt.

>>25539681
I'll give it another read.

Doesn't Bros have a lot of prankage in it? Or am I just remembered wrong?

>>25539855
It does but FM was an alternate timeline from Bros, so it's in the same light.

>>25539899
Ok, just making sure I wasn't going crazy.

I kinda want to write a story about Anon being an alien assassin in Equestria, where ponies can ask him to kill other ponies for a price. Should I even bother?

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>>25539171
I've seen cuter.

>>25540144
Yes please, dubs. This thread is too slow as it is.

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>>25487631
>that filename
Why live?

>>25540144
Sounds edgy, especially if you have horses actually hire him.