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Anon In Equestria - Thread #1078

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Last thread: >>25487631


IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX (embed)
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9 (embed)
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g (embed)
Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY (embed)

>rope's Gay Thread Archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0 (embed)
Collection of AiE images: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ju8ygvv3n4fa0um/quC3vIooOq#/
>>
>>25600635
/r/ing for good rainbowdash x anon story
>>
You had one fucking job.
>>
>>25600635
SAHA when?
>>
>>25600677
why do I find this so fucking funny?
maybe because i'm the one that posted the other thread.
>>
>>25600668
>>25599658
You best not stop anon.
>>
>>25600606
i wrote this as a sort of oneshot.
>>
>>25600722
Oh well. Back to my overdue green...
>>
>>25600665
bump
>>
>>25595218
>The opportunity to marathon S5
Are they gonna stream that shit?
>>
>>25601110
No idea. I'm just bingewatching it.
>>
>>25601110
>>25601155
I just checked with the guys at cytu dot be /r/ mlpanniversary
and it seems we won't.

Damn the bloody spam filter
>>
>>25601180
>Not being patient and waiting for yayponies dl
>>
>>25601431
>Keeping traces of horses on your hardrive.
>>
>>25601914
>Not having a folder on your desktop labelled "Pone Shit", right on top of your rainbow dash background.
>>
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>>25601939
>rainbow dash background
absolutely uncouth
>>
>>25602002
I actually cycle through backgrounds whenever I feel like something new, a few weeks ago it was Derpy. You may be disgusted ho hear that I don't have any Rarity backgrounds, and I wouldn't be opposed to you fixing this.
>>
>>25602029
Nnnot particularly able to help, my pone is both unsorted and not really snagged with backgrounds in mind, as I have a nonhorse background that I will keep using until it is no longer relevant.
>>
>>25601405
I'm guessing I have to fire up the Skype again?
I fucking love giving presents nigger
>>
>>25600692
Timeline got wiped out by Starlight's meddling.
>>
>>25600692
What now?
>>
Continuing from http://pastebin.com/WfAHrfmk

>You are Cookies n' Cream.
>Toughest guard at Ponyville Penitentiary.
>There was no prisoner you couldn't calm down, no roughhouse you couldn't break up.
>Inmates made sure to say their please's and thank you's when you were on duty.
>It is for these reasons that Warden Fusspot chose you to be the personal chaperone of the infamous Anonymous.
>The convict had chased off all his previous ones with his ill behavior.
>You were the only one to make any progress on rehabilitating him.
>Though, not that much progress.
>He had broken out.
>Again.
>You're currently on your way down to the timeout room to confront him.
>Ooh, he was in for /such/ a tongue-lashing.
>You finally reach the hallway where the timeout room is located.
>The dim hallway terminates in a dead-end where a steel door loomed large.
>Two guards stood on watch on either side of it.
>Despite their environment, they stood steadfast at their positions.
>Good boys.
>Only the toughest ponies were put on this detail.
>Not many could handle the depressing and drab atmosphere of the timeout room.
>Couldn't have them feeling sorry for the inmates and letting them out early.
>But even these guards would eventually be switched out with fresh hooves in 20 minutes.
>The average inmate was only sent there for 10 minutes, 30 at the longest.
>But Anonymous was regularly sent there for a whole hour, sometimes more!
>You give them a salute and they return it.
"I'm here to see the inmate."
>They uncertainly glance at each other.
>"Are you sure that's wise, mam?"
>"He was just arrested. He could be unstable."
"Thank you for the concern gentlemen, but I can handle myself. I've dealt with him before."
>They hesitate for a moment before opening the door with a hiss.
>"If you need help just use the secret knock, mam."
>You nod before heading into the dimly lit room.
>Once you pass the threshold, the door is quickly closed behind you.
>>
>>25603270
>Your eyes take a few seconds to compensate for the lost of light.
>When they do the figure in the middle of the room becomes clear to you.
>Anonymous was intimidating just on his own but in the Warden's specially made restraint he became frightening.
>His arms were bound in a straitjacket and his legs were shackled with strongest iron known to ponykind.
>His whole body was restrained to a gurney with imported leather straps.
>Topping the ensemble was a muzzle.
>The whole thing was bordered on brutality but the Warden had convinced the Board to approve of it in Anonymous' case.
>Even the formidable human found it uncomfortable.
>Anypony else would have been reduced to a sniveling mess in minutes.
>Anonymous' eyes leer at you from above his muzzle.
>"Good evening, Cookies."
"Anonymous."
>You shrug off your saddlebags and leave them on the floor.
>"I heard you escaped prison again. That was naughty of you."
>You can't see it, but you can practically hear his grin.
>"Mmm yes, it was. What's the big, tough guardpony going to do about it?"
>You drop your brow into a glare that has sent a grown stallion crying for his mommy.
"I'm going to teach you a lesson."
>"Oh, really?"
>>
>>25603288
>With a grunt Anonymous violently jerks his body, snapping the straps from the gurney.
>Then he tugs at his jacket's sleeves until they tear, freeing his arms.
>A kick snaps the chain of his shackles.
>Finally, he rips the muzzle off his face and flings it into a corner.
>Cracking his neck, he grins wildly at you with his arms outstretched.
>"Well then, come on officer. Teach me a lesson!"
>Immediately, you charge at the released criminal before launching yourself...
>...into his big, strong arms.
>You let out a giggle as he spins you around before cradling you in his arms.
>He leans into you and plants his lips on yours.
>Your eyes flutter closed as your cheeks start to burn.
>The two of you stay like that for several seconds before disconnecting.
>The manic grin on his face has been switched with a gentle smile.
>"Hey, Cookies."
"Hello, Anon."
>You snuggle deeper into the embrace of your stallion.
>>
>>25603306
>You are snuggling the cutest pone in Equestria.
>So that obviously means you're Anon.
>You lied before.
>/This/ is your favorite part of coming back.
>After sharing a kiss, you move your head so that your cheek rubs against hers.
>The slight chill of the room is chased away with the bundle of warmth in your arms.
>Mane in your face, you inhale its fragrant scent before releasing it with a sigh.
>In a world full with manes of a wild variety of colors, hers always caught your attention.
>Cookies giggles as your breath tickles her ear.
>She looks up at you, eyes shining and cheeks a rosy red.
>HNNNG
>This mare!
>You thank the manufacturer of that bleach you drank for allowing you to meet her.
>She made staying in prison even better.
>Cookies was the last in a long line of chaperones the warden had tried to saddle you with.
>The others were scared off, sometimes not even on purpose.
>But Cookies was...different.
>She didn't take any of your shit, which was refreshing for you.
>And when she wasn't occupied with making sure you behaved, she was actually fun to have around.
>Not to mention she was a qt3.14.
>And the attraction wasn't one-sided, if those furtive glances during your daily workout meant anything.
>Apparently Ms. Top Guard had a thing for strong stallions.
>And you were the strongest muthafucker around.
>So you had eventually decided to ask her to be your marefriend.
>She had turned you down at first, but you could see she did so hesitantly.
>You were a career criminal and she was a guard.
>It would be scandalous!
>But you weren't taking no for an answer.
>To prove your dedication to her, you stayed on your best behavior.
>For two WHOLE weeks.
>All the while, you had put on displays of your strength to woo her.
>Seeing her bite her lip as you bench pressed a table full of ponies during lunch was pure gold.
>>
>>25603323
>You finally broke her down when you promised her snuggles anytime she wanted.
>Her only conditions were that it be kept a secret and that you start behaving better.
>Which was fine with you.
>You barely had to do anything to piss off Ol' Fusspot anyway.
>So during the day, she carried on the role of your strict
>At night, she was your little cuddle bunny.
>You loved it.
>Her eyes, her mane, her rockin' bod.
>Her hoof booping your nose.
>You flinch back in surprise, broken out of your reverie.
>Cookies is giving you that look again.
>The serious one.
"What?"
>"What did I tell you about breaking out, Anonymous?"
>Ech, it's that tone of hers too.
>You think for a second.
"...don't do it?"
>"Yes. Now you have another two weeks on your sentence! At this rate, you'll never get out."
>You shrug.
"You know I don't mind that. It just means I get to spend more time with you~."
>You lean forward to steal another kiss but she halts you with a hoof.
>"I'm serious Anon. Pon-people weren't meant to be in prison as long as you have been. I'm worried for your mental health. You should be outside, making friends!"
"But I am." You whine.
>She gives you a flat stare.
>"Not like that."
"Besides, I had a good reason this time."
>"Really?" She asked sarcastically.
"Really. Did you bring my stuff?"
>She sighs.
>"Yeah. It's in my saddlebag."
>She points a hoof at said bags that she had left by the door.
"Excellent.
>You gently place her back on her hooves and walk over to the saddlebags.
>It doesn't take you long to find your prize.
>Your wrapped up pie.
>And it's still warm.
>Cookies leaned to the side behind you, trying to see it.
>"What is it anyway?"
"Oh, just some blueberry pie I picked up from Sugarcube Corner."
>>
>>25603341
>Her eyes gleam as they grow larger.
>"Blueberry pie? That's my favorite!"
>Internally, you pat yourself on the back.
"You said you've haven't had some in a while so I got it for you!"
>"You broke out just so you could get me some pie?"
"Only for you, baby."
>That's your story and you're sticking to it.
>"Aww, that's so sweet."
>Moving over to the cot in the room, you pat your leg and Cookies happily hops into your lap.
>Cookies' grin drops as you rip off the foil.
>"...why is half of it gone?"
>You look off to the side.
"No clue."
>Picking up the fork, you scoop her a piece and bring it before her.
"Anyway, open up."
>Closing her eyes, she opens her mouth for you.
>Placing the morsel she starts to chew enthusiastically.
>She hums in satisfaction as the flavors cascade onto her tastebuds.
>You smile at her cuteness.
>You made your marefriend happy and dodged having to deal with your relationship issues.
>A successful mission, if you do say so yourself.
>Still chewing, Cookies looks at you with one eye open.
>"Don't think this means you're off the hook, Anon."
>Well, damn.
>>
>>25603219
Something that haunts me to this day.
>>
>>25603357
Adorable. More please
>>
>>25602333

Yeah, if you want to harass bolding on Skype about it, that would be an ok way to do things.
>>
>>25603357
glorious
>>
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>mfw from left to right, the last letters in their respective rows on the QWERTY keyboard spell "mlp"
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>>25605846
>all of the letters in "illuminati" are fairly close together except for "A"
>A looks like a triangle
Confirmed
>>
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Green is almost done. Gonna warn you in advance, you'd better be ready for a feelercoaster.
>>
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>>25606255
Here you guys go.

>You be Anon.
>Just waking up in a very large and fancy bed
>It's really purple and soft
"This isn't my bed."
>It's also extremely soft
Did I mention how soft it is?
"This is NOT my bed."
"I must have gotten VERY drunk last night."
"To the point that I actually left my cold, cozy apartment, and the overbuffed desktop that I built myself, and my... oh."
>It all comes rushing back to you now.
>You're finally able to remember whose bed this is
>As she comes trotting up to you.
>"Good morning, sleepyhead."
>You manage to grumble out something that sounded something like, "I am going to vomitely violent out a raisin chicken."
>"Okay, my big sleepy klutz," She affectionately teases you.
"Mornin', Twiggles. You cooking breakfast yet?"
>"Already ate. I left some blueberry puncakes on the kitchen table for you. Spike should have warmed them up by now..."
>"Hey Twilight! Where's the microwave?"
>Twilight facehoofs, and you stare at her tail as she walks to the kitchen to show the stupid little dragon where the microwave is.
"Heh, Spike is so incompetent.".
>>
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>>25606671
>Later that day, You and Twilight are reading books in the castle library.
>Believe it or not, she's the one that got distracted from her book and started talking.
>"I'm so nervous about this whole situation with the Yaks. I don't understand why this all had to happen..."
"Don't worry, Twilight. It'll be fine, just like always. Celly will go to Yakyakistan and talk them out of a war, and if they still decide to attack, you can just get the elements of... oh wait that's right. Well, everything will be fine anyway."
>"You don't understand, Anon. Celestia said that she found out recently that the yaks have brought some sort of superweapon from a faraway land, and that they have stated clear intent on destroying all of Equestria! This could mean the end of-"
>You shush her, not wanting to hear any more doom talk.
"Hey. Twiggles. It will be fine. Nothing bad will happen.
>"Really Anon?"
"What?"
>"That was the most generic and obvious reassurance that I've ever heard."
"Well what else was I supposed to say?"
>"Good point."
"Oh well. I have to go get some more scones from Sugarcube Corner. I ran out, and I can't live without them."
>"Okay. See you later, Anon."
"See ya."
>You close the door and head on over to the bakery in the middle of town
>>
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>>25606698
>You be Twiggle horse
>Anon just went and buggered off to retrieve some of those disgusting "Scones" that he so loves.
>You honestly prefer cupcakes.
>Especially since Pinkie Pie made your favorite cupcakes in the world
>Red Velvet Cupcakes
>You literally felt like you would melt whenever you tasted the sweet frosting and savory cake itself
>It was an overwhelming experience when you found a special room full of Red Velvet cupcakes in the many basement rooms of your brand new castle.
>None of those cupcakes survived the day
>Those were good times
>When you told Anon that the Yaks were legitimately threatening war on Equestria, he looked unconvinced
>It felt like he wasn't taking you seriously
>You hated that
>Just like you hated it when he told you about his disdain for cupcakes
>If he weren't so close to you, you would have completely fried him by now
>Literally
>Just as you are about to get back to your book on Eastern Unicorns and their accomplishments, you hear a rumble
>Anon must be home already, making noises with the door again.
>"Anon, stop messing around with the door! Remember what happened last time?"
>Silence
>There's the rumbling again
>"That's it! I'm coming down there!"
>The rumbling only gets louder
>Once you get to the front door of the castle, you notice that Anon isn't there
>And he left the door open
>And that there's something in the sky.
>Before you can wonder what it is, the thing in the sky hurdles towards the center of the town
>And then explodes
>>
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>>25606724
>You barely have half a second before the explosion reaches you, and you put up a shield to try and survive.
>The fire and wind of the explosion continue for about a minute as you struggle to stay alive in your little bubble.
>When it ends, you lower the magic bubble and look up to see that Ponyville has been leveled.
"What... Why?"
>Your first reaction is absolute shock.
"Where is Anon? Where are my friends?"
>You go looking through the town for the ponies and person you hold most dear."
>First stop, Rarity's Shop
"Rarity? Are you here?"
>Nothing.
"Rarity?"
>Still nothing
>The shop is almost completely leveled, the only reason you found this place is because some of the objects from inside the building managed to stay in place.
>You didn't want to believe it, but Rarity may actually be dead
"No. She's a unicorn, so she could have put up her own protection bubble. She's fine"
>You move on to Rainbow Dash's mansion
"There's no way the blast could have reached her mansion floating in the sky... it's gone."
>You knew where your adrenaline junkie best friend's mansion was by heart... you had memorized exactly what was beneath it. It was always in the same exact place.
>And it wasn't there.
"She's fine. Rainbow probably flew away when the blast came..."
>You move on to Fluttershy's cottage
>It was also completely leveled.
"She's fine too, probably flew away just like Rainbow..."
>Sweet Apple Acres
>Gone
"They have a pretty sturdy cellar that they can hide in, right? I'm sure they're okay..."
>You go and check the Apple family's cellar
>Nothing there
>The thought starts to creep into your mind that It might be possible that all of your friends are dead
"No, they're alive and well somewhere..."
>You finally go to the last of your friends homes
>Sugarcube Corner
>Where Anon went to get some godawful scones before It happened.
>Like the rest of the town, completely gone.
>You search the rest of the town for you friends and monkey friend, but to no avail.
>>
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>>25606761
>You want to believe that they're still alive somewhere when Celestia herself lands next to you.
>She hugs you with one wing and says "I'm sorry."
>"I didn't know what was happening until it was too late."
>"I should have done something, but..."
>"I already know what happened to your friends and human."
"They're safe, right?" you ask quietly
>She gives you the look.
>THAT look.
>And shakes her head
>You feel broken inside.
>Not just for Anon
>Not just for your friends
>But for your town
>For EVERYPONY in Ponyville.
>The Cutie Mark Crusaders...
>The Cake family...
>Lyra and BonBon...
>Vinyl and Octavia...
>Cheerilee and all of her students...
>The two donkeys, Grumpy and Matilda...
>The Mayor...
>Derpy and The Doctor...
>They were all gone. Killed by a bomb blast.
"Who did this?" You ask plaintively.
>"We believe it was the Yaks, carrying through with their threats," Celestia answers.
>So the Yaks did it.
>The Yaks of Yakyakistan were the ones who killed an entire town in cold blood.
>Just because they were buttmadd about how Equestria wasn't like their home.
>You feel and unrelenting rage building inside of you.
>You keep a poker face, though, so as not to tip Celestia off about it.
"... I need some time to think. I'll be back."
>"Okay."
>You can't believe you actually got away with that.
>You fly off, with a destination in mind.
>The cold northern country of Yakyakistan, and their capital city.
>>
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>>25606826
>There's a reason that pegasi hate flying in this country
>The wind and cold high above the country of Yakyakistan are almost to much to bear
>But you keep going
>For Ponyville
>You were going to get revenge for what the Yaks had done to your town.
>Before you know it, You arrive at the largest city in the cold north.
>You land in front of what looks like the yak's castle, and walk in.
>The guards outside demand to know why you're here.
>You tell them who you are, and demand to speak to the prince.
>They protest, but a bit of threatening convinces them to take you to the prince.
>Once you face the Prince of Yakyakistan once again, he demands to know why you summoned him
"Are you the one who just launched a bomb at Ponyville?" You ask him with a cold, tense voice.
>"Yes. You ponies deserved it, for you did not adequately host us Yaks on a diplomatic mission. We gave up the many comforts of home just to feel like outsiders in a strange land. For this, we will destroy all of the ponies."
>The full message of his words hits you like an avalanche.
>Mostly that he said Ponyville deserved it.
>You feel an uncontrollable rage build up inside you.
>Your vision becomes blurry, and you feel like you are quite literally on fire.
>Your breathing becomes heavy, and you feel yourself begin to lose all sanity and logic.
"So We deserved it huh?" You ask in a mocking tone.
>You feel yourself start to grow in size.
"We deserved to have millions of innocent ponies slaughtered?"
>You transform, your mane becoming pure fire, and your fur white.
"We DESERVED to have our homes completely leveled?!?!"
>You also become Celestia's size, and begin to float upwards
"Ponyville DESERVED to be bombed?!?!?"
>You rise to the ceiling, and it melts around you.
"Because we failed to make our town feel like your home, Ponyville deserved to have almost all of its inhabitants killed?!?!"
>You have risen to an adequate place in the air.
>>
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>>25606852
"If that's the case, then you deserved to have your city DESTROYED!"
>You shoot a beam of energy at the city below.
"YOU DESERVE TO HAVE INNOCENT YAKS SLAUGHTERED!!!"
>You hit some more buildings below, uncaring of their purpose.
"YOU DESERVED TO HAVE YOUR LOVED ONES KILLED!!!"
>As the yaks are left reeling, you build up an enormous ball of pure energy and rage.
"YOU DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!"
>You send the ball of fury hurtling into the city below, obliterating the entire country of Yakyakistan.
>But you couldn't get away from your own doing, and as the explosion reaches you, you give in and accept your fate.
>But at least it was worth it.
>You'll get to see your friends, and your Anon again.
>It was definitely worth it.
>>
>>25606900
Okay, friendos. That is the end. Pastebin link here: http://pastebin.com/7r6Hsqag
Hope you enjoyed.
>>
>>25606900
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwrzYrpCHz0
>>
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>>25602333
Yeah, you just have to contact me on Skype. It'll be under a new skype, however. My old one got thrown into lost password limbo and I'll be damned if I'm going to contact skype support. My new skype is

niche-san

I'll just need some info and will contact you for all the stuff needed to send and receive your secret santa.

Also, for anyone who didn't see last thread, a few of us are doing a secret santa. The setup is in the pic in my post. You're more than welcome to jump in.
>>
>>25606923
A bit dark with too little Anon but it was pretty decent.

10/10
>>
Anyone got a copy of any of PaleNarrator's stuff?
>>
>>25606900
>It wasn't the yaks at all.
>Celestia cornered Anon and told him that she had feelings for him and he turned her down.
>She would have accepted that if he hadn't called her an ugly old nag.
>Celestia then destroyed the town a little.
>And blamed the yaks.
>>
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I am looking for a oneshot where anon spanks Rarity. Not sure if it involved clop or not but I would like to re read it. A paddle may or may not be have been involved.
>>
crosspostan fishpon
>Be Bolero Wisconsin, Fishpony
>Arrive at Ponyville, where you have been hired to maintain a hydromagical plant
>It's a long way inland but a mare's gotta do what a mare's gotta do
>Also it pays really well
>Anyway you're doing maintenance on the pipes and walls and shit
>But then something happens
>A thing falls into the water
>It's alive!
>Shove it in a bubble and shoo be do at it
>It's not just alive, it's talky
>You don't know what it is so you take it to the town vet
>She says it's a human
>Also asks you to let it out of the bubble
>Fucking fluttershy, always "Let it out of the bubble" this and "Bears don't like being kept underwater" that
>Bitch if they aren't in a bubble how can you make sure they don't suffocate?
>You knew a seapony who forgot to bubble their pet once
>It was not pretty
>NEVER AGAIN
>>
>>25600754
:(
>>
>>25607558
thnx
>>
>>25607558
I kind of want to do this, but international shipping.
>>
>>25609435
You don't need to mail a fridge.
Something that can fit in an envelope or those small bubble wrap mailers things is ok.
and if this is Australialand pls don't mail spiders.
>>
>>25609478
Not even if I train the spiders to sing Christmas songs before they bite you?
>>
>>25609478
Is this US only?
>>
>>25609544
Christmas in Spiderquestria

>Anon is in his house
>Not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse.
>Because Fluttershy is training them all to carol at her cottage.
>Also because she trained them to stay away from his house after they started getting sick from all the poison he put down
>But that's besides the point.
>It's fucking christmas.
>Celestia and Luna are covered in tinsel and both have festive hats on their many-eyed heads
>Twilight is constructing a Spidertivity scene across the street from Anon
>Pinkie is baking all manner of treats to try to coax her human bestest pal in the whole world! out of his house to join in the festivities
>Mayor Mare, who is also a spider despite the horsy name, is at a barbecue in the town square cooking hay and whatever else it is that spiders eat.
>I'm not a fucking arachnologist, don't get on my fucking case about the minor details.
>And rainbow dash is hard at work setting up the mistletoe so that she can get Anon to stick his dick into her
>She's been trying extra-hard at it ever since her favorite vibrator broke
>It's a very festive day.
>>
>>25609700
I hope Anon isn't arachnophobic.
>>
>>25609700
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
>"Can't sleep spiders will eat me!"
>>
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Death is no escape, only more spider.
>>
>>25609802
Saved.
>>
>>25609802
>>25609848
I am saving this cause this is the best I have seen.
>>
Hey /tg/ I had a thought
We've figured out how many spiders you can fit in a Drow's vagina but we haven't figured the same for a pony.
So i put the question forward to you.
How many spiders can we fit into a pony's vagina?
>>
>>25609944
Normal pone about 5.
Rarity about 37.
Pinkie, 106
>>
>>25609944
As sickening the question is how big are the spiders?
>>
>>25609957
Fist sized.
>>
>>25609967
Are we talking about how many would be able to fit inside comfortably, or until the womb ruptures?
>>
>>25610003
To compound this question, are the spiders able to weave a web womb to fit additional spiders inside?
>>
>>25610003
Yes.
>>25610025
Yes.
>>
>>25607582
>decent
>10/10
Thanks... I guess?
>>
>>25610239
Then the answer is all of the spiders. Pon won't really resemble a pon anymore, what with being webs and all, but you never said that they had to stay alive.
>>
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>>25610445
Correct. All of the spiders.
>>
>>25610458
Weave me alone you fucking spider
>>
>>25610482
SpiderTwi loves you Anon.
Everything about you.
Especially those tasty organs of yours.
Yes, she loves those the most.
>>
>>25610458
Damn Twilight, you scary!
>>
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>>25610458
>Cute purple irises and pupils
>Clear, evil intent

I have arachnophobia and this does not bother me. Give her black, cold orbs and a single set of dark, long fangs and then I'll be shitting myself.

I'm perfectly fine with a spider's function of bug control, but Jesus H. Christ their faces are fucking demonic, and you can't read them either. You don't know if they're just contemplating the futility of life or wondering which one of your eyes should it gouge out to get to your brain.
>>
>>25610566
SpiderTwi wants to share her friendship venom with you. Just a little nibble. You won't feel a thing. Ever.
>>
>>25610566
They don't think like that, they don't want to "gouge out your eye to get to your brain", they only think whether they need to eat or not. Animals don't tend to consciously hunt for the sake of killing, only do so when they consider themselves to be in danger. You know, not really all that dangerous to humans, all things considered. You could propably argue they don't 'think' as we understand it at all.
>spiderposting.png
>>
>>25610622
No one knows you're a spider on the internet.
>>
>>25610641
Well they hang on in the web after all.
>>
>>25609611

Nope, this is for anyone who wants to do it.
>>
>Be Anon.
>Twilight turned herself into a giant fucking spider.
>It wouldn't be so bad accept that she has a taste for monkey meat.
>And not in the fun way.
>You are currently wrapped up in a cocoon of spider webbing as her venom slowly dissolves you.
>That shit hurts too.
>To assuage her guilt she made it so you can't die.
>She also make it so you can't go crazy.
>So for the past month you've been spider bait.
>The worst thing is that she doesn't even apologize anymore.
>That and everyone who visits makes it a point to ignoring you and your screams.
>You know they can hear you! You're hanging right in the middle of the livingroom/web!
>At least Celestia and Luna visit you on occasion.
>You're been promised a reward when you get out.
>You demanded to have the right to claim any pony anytime you want one.
>They're probably stalling the cure to protect their princess ponut perfection.
>Oh, look who's hungry again.
For fucks sake Twilight. You hypoglycemic or something? You already ate me twice today.
>"MEAT!"
>>
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>>25610663
>that gif
>>
>>25600635
I know you get these types of questions every thread, but in the hopes that my post is seen and they magically start writing again...

EquestrianBreakers' Ageless story.

What the fuck happened to it? The six parts I've read are absolutely amazing, and I love how manipulative and intelligent, yet also innocent Anon is throughout. And the conversations between Anon and the Princesses are incredible.

Moar Ageless when?!
>>
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>>25611531
That lightswitch.
>>
>>25611441
Breaker died.
>>25611531
Good filename.
>>25611569
This. It's perfect.
>>
>>25611531
Ahh, no! Not the fridgeligns!
>>
>>25611581
Wait, for real died or just left the fandom?
>>
>>25607558
On the one hand: the opportunity to give a stranger on the internet a heartfelt note and a dragon dildo
On the other: having to explain to your grandmother why someone from another country sent you a dragon dildo for Christmas—and no, Nanna, you can't have it, it's mine go get your own you goddamn greedy hag

This might be the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
>>
>>25607558
>tfw I wanted to do the other secret Santa thing but was broke.
>tfw I'm still broke
>>
>>25610289
Check his name to get the joke writefriend
>>
>>25607558
I'm in. I'll send my new friend homemade cookies with a secret ingredient.
>>
>>25611936
Oh... Hilarious.
>>
>>25611881
>>25611919

Hey, I do want to stress that if you have like no monies, Green, drawings, and other hand made niceties are always welcome. I mean...come on, we all want a nice gift or dildo, but some people don't have that luxury.

Also, implying you can buy a dragon dildo for under $30. Those things are expensive as fuck
>>
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>>25612496
Spiders and fosters it is then.
>>
>>25612496
Expensive but worth it.
>>
>>25612496
Why would I get a dragon dildo when horsecocks are superior?
>>
>>25612496
Owning a 3D printer's nice like that.
Just need to get some Ninjaflex.
>>
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>>25612541
I'm fairly certain that these days dragon dildo is the catchall term for any sort of non-vanilla dildo. And yes, a good horsecock is a wonderful thing
>>
>>25612496


Better make sure to open my gift when the wife and kids are not around then.
>>
>>25600635
Tripfags in hoersylandia
>>
>>25612691
>implying that the wife doesn't secretly lust for horsecock
>>
So a while back I saw an idea mentioned in one of these threads or maybe one of the others where Anon landed in Equestria's past and went all druid in the pre-historic Everfree. He died of old age and the forest reincarnated him as a Treebeard like figure. So I decided while slacking off at work I'd have a bash at writing a story.
Here's chapter one.
http://pastebin.com/DuyXRgJr
>>
>>25611919
I'll buy you a present, Anon, if you write something for me.
>>
>>25600635
What's a good anonxrainbowdash story?
>>
>>25613272
Oh, cool.
>>
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>>25613272
I liked it!
>>
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>>25613272
That was pretty entertaining, though that beginning was an admittedly weak one which does not hold up with the rest of the story. It doesn't match up with the tone for the rest of the chapter; really clunky there. And I do wish you had stretched out this chapter some, maybe even broke it into two parts so I could read his development as the tree spirit of the forest. Other than that, I am interested in reading more.
>>
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>>25603306
>>
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>>25609478
>>
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>>25609802
>>
>>25609944
>We've figured out how many spiders you can fit in a Drow's vagina
I missed this. Exactly how many was it?
>>
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>>25614951
>>
>>25615135
Boooo
>>
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>>25615135
God damn it. I'm laughing way too hard at this.
>>
>>25613761
I would recommend Broken Wings:

http://pastebin.com/u/MisterElGuapo
>>
"Twenty fucking pounds?!"
>El Dante, one of the many chefs in the kitchens at Canterlot castle, gives you a sour look
>The kind of sour look that one can only give if they've gotten up far too early and were dealing with irritating people
>To be fair this little horse here started work at like two in the morning
>And you weren't going to lie and say that you weren't irritating from time to time
>Hell, if you hadn't gotten up a five and if you didn't know how much the little fucker made you might have sympathised with him
>But you did so tough cookies
>If this little nigga didn't want to wake up early and deal with people then he could have gotten a later shift
>"...Yes, Anon," Dante yawned. "Twenty pounds of blackberries."
>They weren't just any kind of blackberries either
>These were those big, juicy ones
>The kind that were always sweet and never sour
>Five big cartons of the delicious-looking fruit/nut/ whatever the fuck a blackberry was had greeted you when you had walked into the kitchens for some cereal this morning
>Which should have fucking been impossible since every single little kitchen horse in the place had insisted that the kitchen didn't stock them
>And since Chowder, the head chef, didn't like you very much because of... reasons you usually had to go to the market yourself to get your blackberry fix
>Which SUCKED since you always had to beat the crowds and a fucking carton of blackberries wasn't cheap in Canterlot
>But now not only did you not have to go to the market today you also could STUFF yourself with blackberries and there'd be plenty left
>And boy were you going to eat these little fuckers
>Even if you weren't supposed to
>...Especially if you weren't supposed to
"When the hell did you start getting this?!"
>Walking over to the table you grab one of the cartons and popped a berry into your mouth
>Hmmm
>>
>>25615259
ABORT LUNCH.EXE, LaP'S HERE
>>
>>25615259
>Sweet just like you thought they would be
"I thought that you guys didn't stock these things."
>Sighing and adjusting his adorable little chef's hat, Dante trotted over to you
>"We got orders from up top that we needed to stock 'em permanently."
>You tried to shovel a handful of blackberries into your mouth but Dante slapped your hand away with his magic
"OW! FUCKER!"
>Snatching the carton out of your hands he placed it back on the counter
>"Go and wash your hands before you get your dirty paws all over these."
"Hey!, there's nothing wrong with my fucking hands! And I'm just going to eat the whole thing anyway, so why don't you--"
>Kitchen pony just raises an eyebrow and points at the sink
>You glare at him, still shaking the pain out of your hand, before walking over and turning on the hot water
>"Make sure to use the soap to your left," Dante called as he trotted away from you. "I'll get you your cereal while you're doing that."
"Alright mom," you say with a roll of your eyes, reaching over and grabbing the soap
>Fucking chefs and their hygienics...
>There was nothing wrong with your hands
>In fact you bet that they were the cleanest part of your fucking body!
>As you wash your hands, grumbling all the while, you couldn't help but think on what Dante had said
>These blackberries had been ordered 'from the top'
>That meant one of the princesses had explicitly ordered all of these for some reason
>You knew that Luna wasn't especially fond of these, which meant that either Princess Celestia had ordered these or they had been ordered for someone that was coming to the castle
>If it was the second reason you were pretty sure you wouldn't be allowed to eat one of these you were sure
>Which meant that Celestia had gotten them
>Was she just hankering for some blackberries?
>Or was something else a little more sinister happening?
>Still washing your hands you looked over to the berries with a frown
>Could...
>Could she have poisoned them?
>>
>page 1 to page 2 in <2 minutes
Is there some kind of happening going on right now?
>>
>>25615292
>She might have known that you loved these things
>In fact you were SURE that she knew you loved the things
>The hateful little horse probably had ninja ponies stalking your every movement...
>...
>...
>...
>No one would probably say anything if you ate these and suddenly got sick...
"...Hey Dante, you wouldn't happened to know why one of the princesses wanted these do ya?"
>"Nope. She just came in the middle of the night and ordered us to get a ton of 'em. From what I heard from the other guys the Princess was acting REALLY weird too. Twitching and lookin' in all directions and shit."
>Oh god
>This was it
>The Princess of the Sun had finally decided to whack you!
>As calmly as you could you walked over to an empty pair of the counter
>Looking forward you grabbed a stool and sat down
>Hey, if you were gonna die today you may as well die with a full belly
>"Hey! Give this to the monkey before you take that to Blueblood."
>"Yes, sir! Right away sir!"
>You perk up as a smallish white earth pony mare with a light pink mane trotted over to you with a glass of OJ, a bowl of sugary cereal, and a small carton of blackberries
>When she noticed you looking over at her she stiffened, her eyebrows furrowing
"Good mor--"
>You couldn't help but jump as she dropped your food in front of you and turned away with a 'humph'
"--ning..."
>The mare just looked over her shoulder at you before making another disgusted noise, pointing her muzzle into the air and flicking her tail at your face
>...Bitch
>Making a face at the rude little servant horse, you grabbed a spoon and started shoveling cereal into your mouth
"Dante, get over here for a second!" you yell through a mouthful of food
>"Whadda want?"
"Just get your furry little ass over here!"
>From across the room you could hear Dante mutter complaints as he trotted over to you with a frown
>"What?"
>>
>>25615335
>Taking a drink of your juice (hmmmm, juice) you smack your lips together and nudge your head over toward the little servant, who appeared to be trying to balance ten plates on her back
"First off, fuck you for calling me a monkey you dirty little pack animal--"
>"Shit flinger."
>"Flea bitten cunt."
>"Flat face."
>...What's with ponies call your face flat?
>Just because you didn't have a muzzle jutting out of your face didn't mean you had a flat face!
>Andnotyouwereselfconscienceaboutit!!!
" Hey; you mother loves me and her flat face. It lets her see my face better when she's sucking my dick."
>Dante give you the pony equivalent of the finger--aka scrunching his snozzle at you-- while you grin and lean back
"Now, who's the new blood over there?"
>Dante's eyebrow raises as you nudge your head toward the mare
>"Oh her? Yeah, apparently she just got hired this morning. Name's Sunny Skies or something like that..."
>Sunny Skies?
>That's a pretty name...
"You have any idea why she gave me attitude coming over here? You piss in her wheaties or something?"
>Dante shrugged as you shoved another spoonful of cereal into your mouth
>"She's been peachy keen for everypony else in here."
>He smirked
>"Maybe she's just wondering why we're letting your giant flank sit at the counter?"
>You look back over at this "Sunny Skies"
>Though you could tell that she was trying to be discreet about it you could see her staring at you out from the corner of her eye every few seconds
>Being the not-so-jolly green giant in a land of marshmallow midgets you weren't a stranger to stares
>But the looks she was giving you weren't the usual "hey look kids it's an animal" brand of stares that you usually got
>If you didn't know any better you'd say that she was looking at you suspiciously
>Like she suspected that you were going to run over there and deck her or something
>...Eh
>Not today little horse
>Not today
>...Welp
>>
>>25615380
>Sunny Skies
Why does that seem familiar?
>>
>>25615380
>It looked like there was another little horse in the castle that didn't like you all too much
>With a little shrug you turn back to your breakfast
"Hey, thanks for the grub, Dante."
>Grumbling again chef pone pats you on the back back before turning away from you
>"Hey, if I didn't feed you Princess Luna would drag me into that bedroom of hers and make me into a mare or something..."
>Though it's pretty warm in the kitchen both you and Dante couldn't help but shiver at the thought
>Luna would probably do it too
>The fucked up little horse...
>Your stomach rumbled, and you couldn't help but remember that you could have, maybe, just been poisoned
>Night hoers might be able to do something about that...
>She had that boner on her forehead that did all of that magic shit
>Quickly finishing up your breakfast you bid Dante farewell and made your way to the nightmare cave
>Once again ignoring and stepping over the "vampire ponies" you throw open the door--
>"O-Oooh like that!"
>"Yeah! Yeah! You like that don't you you dirty slut!"
>...And you opened the door without knocking first...
>Why the fuck did you do that?
>...And why did those voices sound like two dudes?
>Though common sense tells you to just close the door and come later the fact that you may or may not be poisoned forces you to step into the room and close the door behind you
>You can hear the guards protesting but fuck that
>You had a whole nother beast to deal with at the moment
>Ugh...
>You always pick just the best times to get poisoned don't you?
>With each step you take into the room the sounds of pelvis hitting rump and moans and grunts becomes louder and clearer and more prevalent
>Moans and grunts that seemed to only be coming from stallions you couldn't help but notice
"...Luna? You in here?"
>If you thought that you talking would ruin whatever fucking mood was going on you were sorely mistaken since the grunting and moaning only seemed to get louder
>"Anon? Come in, come in!"
>>
>>25615438
>...Alright
>Luna's talking
>Which means she's not getting pounded in all holes like that one time...
>In fact she doesn't sound like she's getting any at ALL...
>Though you hesitate for a moment, morbid curiosity forces you to step into Luna's bedroom
>Night hoers is lazily laying in her bed with a glass of red wine sitting beside her and fine cheeses on a silver plate sitting to her left
>Right in front of her were two sweaty, glassy-eyed stallions
>One had his ass in the air and his face in the carpet as the other slammed into him with reckless abandonment
>"H-Harder! HARDER!"
>"Yeah, you like that? Getting mounted like a mare? I bet you do you--"
>...Jesus Christ
>You just stand there and pinch the bridge of your nose as what is pretty much a sex scene happens in front of you
>Taking a few deep breaths you try to collect yourself
>You fucking fail harder than you've ever failed in your life because NOW you can smell the stank in the room
>The horrible, cummy, musky, horsey stank
>Then you walk over toward Luna
>Night hoers turned her attention away from... whatever the fuck was going on and over to you
>"Good morning, Anon," she chirped, taking a dainty sip of her wine
>You don't say anything, you just sit down at the edge of her bed
>Smiling, Luna crawled over and placed her head in your lap
>"Pull my tail harder!"
>"Celestia dammit are you TIGHT! I could pound this hole all day!"
>You once again look over to the two stallions as you being to run your fingers through Luna's mane
>The Princess of the Night lets out a pleased hum as you rethink your life and your decision in friends over the sounds of bro-on-bro actions
>You know
>What's fucking with you isn't that fact that Luna's spent god knows how long watching these stallions go at it
>While she drinking wine and eating cheese like this is some sort of high class get together
>It's the fact that you're not even all that bothered by this anymore
>>
>>25615491
>And that's not fucking okay
>That's not fucking okay one little bit
"...Why?"
>"I was bored and decided to enjoy a little entertainment before I went to sleep," Luna said without missing a beat, her ears twitching as a particularly loud and wet slap fills the air
"And your definition of entertainment is watching two guys plow each other?"
>Luna lets out another hum, nuzzling a little more into your lap
>"Barricade and Morning Star were happy to oblige when I asked. In fact they nearly broke down my door to get in here."
>One of her eyes snapped open and she looked up at you with a smirk
>"To tell you the truth I was just about to join in when you came barging. This show's getting me a little hot and bothered..."
>You look over at the two stallions-- two stallions that were in the fucking guard and who you fucking knew personally by the fucking way
"...But I thought that Barricade and Morning Star were gay-gay."
>Barricade, the poundee, let out another lewd moan as his erect member twitched, firing a small spurt of cum onto the floor
>And you don't even fucking flinch
>...Goddammit
>"Well, I don't know if you know this but I've been developing this spell that might make me grow a coc--"
>Reaching down you clamp her mouth shut
"Don't... just don't. Please."
>Luna giggled, sticking her tongue out to try to lick your hand
>Quickly pulling away so you don't get a handful of pony spit you frown while Luna closed her eyes
>"So other enjoying my company what brings you to my room?"
>Oh right
>The whole 'you were poisoned' thing
>You nearly forgot
"Well... I don't know how to put this, Luna but... I think your sister might have poisoned me with blackberries."
>The only sounds that could be heard were of two stallions making sweet, sweet love as Luna milled over what you said
>Until, to your surprise, she giggled in delight
>"So she got the blackberries did she?" she said, sounding very, very smug. "I KNEW it!"
>What?
"What?"
>>
>>25615549
>Yawning, Luna rolled onto her back--making sure not to stab you with her horn-- and stared up at you with a smile
>"Never you mind that, my little human. You just confirmed a suspicion I had about my big sister."
>Oh no
>You didn't like that...
"Why do I feel like this suspicion concerns me?"
>"Because it does."
"...Oh."
>Scratching Luna's chest you just sit there and listen to Morning Star's dirty talk
"...You're not going to tell me huh?"
>"Nope."
>...Okay then...
"Mind explaining why aren't you gonna tell me?"
>Luna just smiles as Morning Star begins to pick up the pace, his thrusting becoming clumsy and desperate
>Cracking open an eye Barricade looks over to you
>To your horror the little horse catches your eye, and for some reason you can't help but look into his eyes
>But most importantly you can't bring yourself to look away
>Oh no...
>Nope
>Nope
>Don't you fucking do it
>Don't--
>With a final grunt Morning Star buried himself to the hilt and tensed
>Barricade let out a loud moan
>His knees nearly gave out, his cock twitched hard and you got a front row seat as he started cumming
>And cumming
>...And cumming...
>"Did his eyes cross, Anon? I blinked."
>...Fucking Lun--
>Before you could finish your thought something particular caught your eye
>Turning away as Barricade made of mess of the carpet you turned toward the balcony window
>Though Luna usually had it covered it was bare today, which allowed you to see the gardens just outside of Luna's room
>Like always, the gardens looked fine, great even
>Except for the fact that someone was hiding in one of the rose bushes with a pair of binoculars
>A pair of binoculars that were trained on you
>...Wat
"Wat?"
>>
>>25615578
>Why the hay did you have the royal gardeners plant so many rose bushes?
>You get it, they looked immaculate and you were impressed that your little ponies managed to cut the bushes in your likeness
>...In fact you should probably should see to it that your gardeners get a raise since they worked so HARD...
>But rose bushes did not make a very good hiding spot!
>They did not make a few good hiding spot at all!
>But like any resourceful mare you had persevered
>You KNEW that bucking stupid smelly butt would visit your sister right after he ate his breakfast
>Probably to taint her further with his vileness no doubt
>Look at what your dear sister has going on in that room of hers!
>H-Having two big, s-strong stallions having their w-way with each other while s-she just sat there s-smiling...
>...H-How was she a-abl--
>"...Your majesty? Are you alright?
"EEP!"
>With a yelp you launch yourself into the air with a wing flap
>OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO!!!
>ThornsTHORNSTHORNS!
>WAIT!
>YOUHAVETOGETBACKINTOTHEBUSH!
>THEYMIGHTSEEYOU!
>Forcing your wings to your sides you let your body plummet back to the earth
>Only to remember that you were about to fall into the bush a--
THUD
"Oh bucking horse apples!"
>With some thrashing, wiggling and more than a little colorful swearing you hopped out of the bush
>... And fell right on your muzzle
>Right in front of Green Hoof, one of your gardeners
>"...Y-Your majesty?"
>You crack open an eye to stare at the stallion
>...Curd
"Oh... hello my little pony," you lamely say. "Wonderful morning isn't it?"
>Green Hoof nervously looks around, obviously wanting to disappear
>"Y-Yeah, lovely day out today..."
>You get to your hooves with a groan, wincing as you used your magic to pull out a thorn
>O-Ow...
>Clearing your throat you look around, doing your best NOT to look like you were in a lot of pain
>Even though you kinda were...
"The gardens are looking wonderful."
>"Thank you, your highness."
>Green Hoof looked at the ground
>>
>>25613761
Dynamic Entry

Pastebin.com/u/Netherpony
>>
>>25615631
>"We all do our best to maintain it."
>The two of you kind of let the conversation die, neither of you knowing what to say
>What could either of you even say in this situation?
>You had just popped out of that bush screaming your head off with your rear covered in thorns!
>That wasn't something that could be smoothed over with a little small talk!
>And Green Hoof, the poor dear, wasn't going to ask what you were doing because he didn't want to embarrass you!
>...
>...
>...
>Wow...
>This was getting awkward
>Like really awkward...
>Coughing, you smile
"Well... I'd hate to keep you from your duties any longer..."
>Twitching, Green Hoof nodded his head just a little too hard
>"Yeah... I really need to get back to... other things."
>Green Hoof turned away from you
>"Have a good day your highness..."
>Not knowing what else to do you wave your gardener farewell
"You have a wonderful day as well, my subject!"
>You were going to make this up to Green Hoof somehow
>You didn't know how you were going to do it but you were going to do it!
>...Bucking Anonymous...
>If he wasn't such a b-butt and--
>"HEY PEEPIN' TOM! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND FUCK RIGHT OFF?"
>With another epp you dive back into the bush
>Horse apples!
>That was Anonymous!
>That butt must have seen you!
>You had to get out of here!
>You needed to disappear before he alerted Luna and she sent somepony to search for intruders!
>Gottagofast!!!!
>>
>>25615678
I didn't know what else to write so I'm done for the night. Hope you guys had to decent thanksgiving.
>>
>>25615700
y-you too
>>
>>25615700
Turkey Genocide Day was okay. Tsunlestia is muh new fetish. Thanks, bro.
>>
>>25615135
ayyyyy
>>
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Hello yes, I heard there was requests?

>You wake up with a hangover
>One of those awful ones that hits you before you even open your eyes
>So you do what any self respecting drunk would do
>You flop your arm over your face and groan
>While it doesn't help, but it does signal to the world that, yes, your liver is still functioning
>It's the little victories that count in life
>After a few more weak grunts, you manage to roll yourself out of bed and hobble to the bathroom
>Not even bothering with the lights, you grope for the sink and prop yourself up against it before finally opening your eyes
>Yup, you're all there
>100% human
>And with a great big shiner to boot
"Helluva night."
>God, your voice sounds like you've been gargling sand for a week
>After washing your face, taking special care around the eye, you slurp up a mouthful of water, then a second for good measure
>What a relief
>As you stare at yourself, with your tongue lingering on your bottom lip, you suddenly become aware of an unusual sound
>A fatty sound, sizzling, possibly popping?
>Your cracked lips roll up into an instinctive smile
"What is that absolutely haram sound tickling at my ears?"
>And, after a moment more, your face falls
"Better question, who the fuck is in my house?"
>Stopping long enough to grab Ol'Kicky, you slide the boot onto your foot and quietly tromp your way out from the bathroom and towards the kitchen
>A glorious smell assaults your nostrils as you prepare to round the corner
>No doubt about it, somebody's cooking up your bacon
"Like hell I'm going to stand for that."
>Placing yourself close to the wall, you glance around the corner and see a pony busying itself in the kitchen
>Correction, herself
>Further correction...
"Rainbow?"
>The pegasus stiffens, her head whirling about
>Jaw dropping, she makes a throaty, confused sound before forcing a smile
>"Oh, hey Anon; I was just, y'know stopping by to check up on you and thought you could, use some breakfast?"
>>
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>>25617579
>Puffing out your cheeks, you sigh and separate yourself from your +5 Boot of Pony Booting and wobble into the kitchen
"Well, seeing as how you didn't show up last night, that's pretty swell of you."
>Rainbow puts on an obviously forced smile, but quickly changes the subject
>"So anyway, I figured that after a big night down at the bar, what could be better than a greasy breakfast!"
"Rainbow, you don't eat bacon."
>"Yeah, so?"
"So how are you going to know if it's good to eat or not?"
>With all the confidence in the world, the speedster smirks
>"Duh, when it starts to get all crispy, but before it turns black?"
>You glance at the nearly charred and shriveled pieces of pork already set aside by the pan
>She's burnt nearly a dozen pieces already
>Putting on a smile, you walk over and do your best to salvage some of the tenderness of the remaining pieces in the pan
"Thanks for looking out for me Dash; you're a real bro."
>Pushing your fist out behind you, you wait expectantly for the bump of her hoof
>But it's slow coming
>After a moment, you glance behind you and see that Rainbow is looking up at you with a goofy smile
>Unsure of what to do, you continue to grin, more forced by the second, before finally giving a gentle shake of your still outstretched fist
>After a moment more, Dash's smile fades and, with a heavy sigh, she reaches up and bumps you
>You waste no time turning back to the skillet, eager to be done with the awkwardness
"All right, off to a good start today."
>"Uh, yeah, sure."
>Jeez, what's crawled up her butt?
>You take time to fix up a proper breakfast that doesn't consist solely of pork, and even manage to throw something together for Rainbow before moving to the table.
>The awkward atmosphere extends beyond the incident at the stove, with Dash watching you over her plate the entire time
>You'd never thought about it before, but those big pony eyes are kinda creepy
>Anyway, you're nearly through with eating when a knock comes
>>
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>>25617596
"Oh good, my daily wake up call."
>Sighing, you move to stand when Rainbow hops out of her seat, all smiles
>"Hey Anon, buddy, why don't you sit this one out and I'll take care of it?"
"Uh"
>The throaty sound is all you can manage before Dash disappears, leaving a rainbow trail behind her
>In the distance, the door opens, and you catch bits an pieces of a muffled conversation.
>"Oh, Rainbow... Anonymous?"
>"Fine Fluttershy... come down... case of cider shaft..."
>"Oh dear... okay?"
>"Yup! No visitors though! See you!"
The last bit is clear as day as Rainbow all but shouts before slamming the door
>Quick as she left, Dash is back in the room
>On the table in fact
>She's got her eyes wide, grinning from ear to ear
>And holding her hoof out for a bump
>You glance between the usually cute pony's terrifying gaze and her hoof, donning an anxious smile
>One which she completely ignores, her face splitting into an even wider grin
"Uh, thanks, Rainbow."
>"No problem. That's what bros do, right?"
>You give an uncertain nod
"Sure."
>The word hangs in the air for a moment before Dash raises an eyebrow
>"And what else do bros do when their bro does them a solid?"
>Another uncertain sound escapes your throat before you putting on a completely lost expression and bump her hoof with your fist
"Hoof-bump, right?"
>There's a moment more of waiting before Rainbow's face settles back into a scowl
>"So that's not good enough either, huh?"
>Okay, this is getting obnoxious
"Good enough for what, Rainbow?"
>"Don't act like you don't remember what happened last night."
>The little pony puffs out her cheeks, leaving you completely lost
"Uh, I invited you out to go drinking, you never showed, and I ended up getting sloshed with Big Mac?"
>Rainbow leans in closer
>"And?"
>And?
>And what?
>Did something else happen?
>At once your bruised face throbs
>Oh right, there was a fight at some point
>But you really don't remember it
>You must have gotten really shitfaced last night
>>
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>>25617614
>May as well wing it
>Now, what sounds good?
"Uh, I got into a tussle?"
>Rainbow nods
>All right, one for one
>You feel your confidence growing
"And, it was a really knock down drag out fight."
>The pony gives another uncertain nod, anger giving way to a measure of interest
>Sweet
"It was me and Mac against the entire bar, even the barpony."
>Now she nods excitedly
"The fight must have lasted ten minutes before Big Mac and I were thrown out and told not to return until we paid out tabs!"
>"That's so cool..."
>Nice, you've got her hooked
>Now for the finishing blow!
"And then, I came home and went to bed."
>Immediately Rainbow scowls
>Garbage...
>"That's not what happened."
"It's not?"
>She shakes her head
>Now it's your turn to get defensive
"Yeah? Well how would you know? You weren't even there!"
>"I was for this part."
>Rainbow's voice is a deadpan.
>"I saw what happened when Big Mac carried you home."
>Wait
>Mac brought you home?
>And something happened?
>Your rectum clutches on reflex as Dash glares at you.
>"That's right, I saw everything because I was waiting out front for you to come home but ducked out of sight when I heard you two coming. You were howling and laughing together, and having a great time. And then, when he got you to the door, you turned to him and you said..."
>Rainbow pauses, looking up at you
>You're sweating bullets, wondering what it was that you'd blurted out
>That you thought his sister was hot?
>That he should come inside?
>That he should COME INSIDE?
>But Rainbow isn't making a move
>Hell, she can't leave you like this
>Reaching out, you grab the pegasus pony by the cheeks and push your nose to her snout
"What did I say Rainbow? What did I say!?"
>She doesn't flinch a bit, glaring at you with a sneer on her face
>"You. Said. He. Was. Awesome."
>A pause
"That's it?"
>"And that you loved him."
>Another moment of silence.
"That's... it?"
>"And you bumped his hoof."
>>
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>>25617627
>...
>Taking your impassive face as a motion to continue, Dash brings down the hammer
>"And then you laughed and said: No Homo. And went inside."
>You flop back into your seat, exhausted
>Your face hurts again
>Covering yourself with your arm, you sigh
"Dash..."
>"It's not fair!"
>You don't need to be looking to know the throaty crack that comes into her voice when she starts tearing up.
>"You did something with Big Mac that you never do with me!"
"Dash..."
>"No, no, I get it; this whole No Homo thing must be for absolute best bros forever, right? It- It's not something you do with just anyone, right?"
>Moving your arm to the side, you see Dash rubbing a hoof across her muzzle as she blinks back tears.
>"I mean, otherwise, you would No Homo me all the time, right? But, I just, I thought, we were best bros but we've never done it..."
>God ponies are stupid sometimes
>You could take the time to explain this to her
>But really, would that make things any better?
>She'd just get embarrassed
>Maybe you should just go along with this
>Taking a deep breath, you put on a smile and reach out to ruffle her mane
"You're right Dash, I have been neglecting putting you in on this. I'm sorry."
>Rainbow sniffs, looking up at you for a moment before extending her slightly snotty hoof in your direction
>That's really gross
>But you bump her all the same, smiling
"I love you bro. No homo."
>The pony puts on a smile and sniffles
>"N-No homo."
>You have a quiet laugh at Rainbow's expense, seeing as she's happy again
>It is, after all, the little victories in life that make it worth living
>And there is certainly no way at all that this will come back to bite you in the ass
>Probably.
>>
>>25615700
enjoying this
>>
>>25617641
this is solid, keep it up/10
>>
>>25617641
I believe you are using the wrong version of this image.

The *satisfied cunt noises* one would work, and for post coitus, *Satisfied horse cunt*
>>
>>25617833
Just some fun
>>25617879
Maybe when you write it you can do it like that. I like it the way it is.
>>
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>>25617879
>not the best version.
>>
>>25615422
I think the name came from a fic where Celestia visited Ponyville as a pegasus so no one would recognize her.
>>
>>25618891
I was thinking Celestia gets mugged
>>
>>25619096
I thought it was, "Celestia gets an Anal Probe."
>>
>>25600635
Any good Rainbow Dash x Anon story?
>>
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>>25619224
There's one RIGHT THERE. THE LAST ONE POSTED.
>>
>>25619248
WHY ARE MY GIFS ALWAYS BROKEN
>>
>>25619248
>>25619262
oh shit, didn't see that, i'm an autist
>>
>>25619265
It's okay. I-It's not like I wrote it for you and >>25600665
and
>>25613761
or anything.
No, but I hope it makes you smile.
>>
>>25619262
You have to save for web and devices.
>>
How about a good Anon and Eris fic?
>>
>>25619333
>Be Anon.
>Discord is trying to trick you into fucking him for some reason.
>He turned into a girl and now calls himself "Eris."
>You'd totally ride that, but you know he's going to slip a horse cock up your butt if you let your guard down.
>So for now you just let him wash your car in a white tshirt with Rarity over and over.
>>
>>25619365
i keks
>>
>>25619284
it did make me smile it was really well written and well done, nice job Anon :)
>>
>>25619375
The correct interpretation is that he is using Rarity as a sponge. I'd have made that clearer, but I just woke up.
>>
>>25619333
The Golden Apple.
>>
>>25619399
>mrliteral.png
ha thats even better. i just thought you were a rarrrafag
>>
>>25619365
>Be Rarity
>You look back over to where Anon is sitting at his front porch
>He hasn't moved a muscle except to take a sip from his juice box
>Dis-*Eris* had told you that he would be all over you if you washed his vehicle, yet he looks more suspicious than anything
>And why did she have me make the two of us white shirts if they were just going to get soaked?
>You can hardly tell I'm wearing anything at all with how it sticks and blends in with my coat
>Drat, I'm going to lose that bet with Applejack at his rate
>>
>>25619399
>>25619462
Oh crud, I wouldn't have made this if I know that. Oh well, thanks m80.
>>
>>25619333
When?
>>
>>25619493
No worries. Keks were had and green was added to the thread.
>>
>>25619462
>lets_get_down_to_business.jpg
>You were NOT going to lose to Applejack. A /lady/ certainty doesn't do farm work. Even if it's just for an afternoon.
>Climbing on the hood you make your way to Eris, who is sliding all over the roof with loofas tied to each of her appendages.
>You grab her snout and with no tongue you plant one right on her lips.
>Anonymous' eyes shot wide open, as expected, as did Eris', seems your plan might be working.
>You stand on your hind legs, throwing your shirt in the air. You slide off the the hood and begin to make your way over to Anonymous.
>Eris, catching on, does the same, sliding off the roof and droping to the floor.
>Just before you reach Anon, he puts his hand out to stop you two, and says everybody walk the dinosaur.
>>
>>25619419

I guess if you like fics that are practically dead, sure.
>>
>>25620116
Hi Overlord.
>>
>Day filly in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Also now a little girl pony
>Why is a mystery
>You go to see Twilight, she probably knows what caused this
>"Spike did it"
>Fucking dragon always screwing around with magic spells
>Twilight levitates a bottle of goo in front of you
>"Drink this, it'll fix you."
>You drink it
>It's horrible
>Then there's a big cloud of smoke and you're a human again
>Then you go give spike a good kicking
>Twilight joins in too
>>
>>25620149

Shhhhh...
>>
>>25620255
Twilight's only mad because the cure for Anon was all the cum she collected for herself when she turned into a stallion that one time. Now she'll have to do it again.
>>
>>25618485
this
>>
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>>25615700
Why is lewdna so absolutely delightful? Almost makes me wish sunhorse wasn't involved so luna could have the honor of popping anon's horse cherry, along with a few other cherries.
>>
crosspostan
>>25621855
>Be Anon the chocolate maker in Equestria.
>Got kicked out of britain for inviting people to your factory under the guise of a competition and then feeding them ALL THE DRUGS.
>Or maybe you ate one of the "special" chocolates by mistake, you can't be sure.
>Either way, your clientele is now mostly magical ponies.
>Today you are releasing a new terrifically tasty toffee treat to the town as a test.
>IT'S FULL OF DRUGS
>You hope to gain feedback to improve your technique, you've never been particularly focused on catering to the equine palette.
>So here you are, wheeling a cartload of experimental sweets out the front gates of your factory compound.
>It's not a very long journey into the center of town, and you set up a stall when you get there.
"Come and try my new Caramel Cream Chocolates, free today only!"
>Some of the townsponies come up and try them.
>You make sure to pay attention to their reactions as they eat the samples, recording everything on your official-looking clipboard.
>Over the course of the morning you not mostly positive results
>A handfull of the volunteers tried to eat their hooves and had to be restrained and horsepitalised.
>You take this to mean that they got chocolate melted onto themselves and tried to eat it anyway
>Must remember to try raising the melting point to fix that.
>Can't have good chocolate just melting and going to waste.
>By noon you've run out and pack up to return to your factory.
>But before you can leave the town square, a bunch of the townsponies have surrounded you.
>"That's the one, he was giving out free chocolates earlier"
"Sorry ladies, I've already run out for today."
>They leave disappointedly and you continue home.
>Later they break into your factory and get stuck in the giant gummy gears while trying to eat the sugar springs.
>Fucking ponies
>>
I was thinking about writing a short holiday themed green, had an ok idea.

Go for it this week, or wait until later in the month?
>>
>>25622852
It's December. Do it now.
>>
>>25622852
Never ask, just post that green.
>>
>>25622855
Fuck year xmas
>>
>>25622852
Like with touching the cow, do it now.
>>
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>>25622855
>>25623058
>>25623103
Fine. You'll get your green, just started it.
Don't get your hopes up for anything good though, new to this.

>>25623070
>pic related
>>
>>25623392
Don't worry, =. AiE is great to first time writers.

>laughingmares.gif
>>
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>>25623472
We love writers, what we don't like is prissy little prima donnas that think just because they write green they should get fellated whenever they want.
>>
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>>25623544
You mistake people wanting to be fellated for just wanting to know if anyone even reads their work. It's rather difficult for a lot of people wanting to continue writing anything when they feel their work isn't being read in the first place. Most of the Anons in these threads shit on every single new writer I've seen if they at all try to see if anyone reads their work. Yes, some of those people are fucking retards, but that doesn't mean they all are, yet they're all equally treated as shit and made out as if THEY'RE the ones creating the drama in the first place.

Sure, I'll agree that writers do want attention. This is mostly the only thing they want out of writing their greentext. They'd like people to read their work, maybe even comment on it and see how they're doing, what works and doesn't, and other bullshit around it.Some of those writers are assholes about it, and some are wanting to fuck around and cause drama. But not all, if even majority, want that. They just want recognition for theire work.
>>
>>25623773
This.
>>
>>25623472
>>25623544
>>25623773
Jesus. Literally all I said was is it to early for a Hearthswarming green and it might suck.
I know you guys are speaking in general, but still.
>>
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>>25624242
Welcome to Fagtown.
>>
>>25624242
You'll have a much better time here when you can ignore these things.
>>
>>25624265
>welcome
I've been here for 900+ threads.
I'm just a bitch and have never wrote shit.

Just expected this shitposting after I post, not before. Y'all niggers are salty this morning.
>>
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>>25624315
>salty
I'm laughing brother. It's a great day to be alive and other faggots are making a big deal out of nothing. Worth every minute.
But good on you for trying something new.
>>
>>25624354
Dat pic
>>
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>>25624354
dat pic
>>
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>>25624960
>>25625005
>>
JESUS the tread sucks today!

>be Twatlot Sperks
>you are reading a book
>per usual
>you look at the clock
>usually Anon comes around this time to hassle you for being a nerd
>wonder where he is

>be Anon
>slowly walking around p0nyville
>you feel odd
>like you have no desire to really do anything
>like you have no real direction
>you ponder this
>youve always believed in fate. in predetermined destiny
>of some greater force or forces that plan your/everyponys/and the worlds every move
>maybe with something dank like a quill or gay like a touchscreen
>but today you felt free
>like you could /actually/ do anything you wanted
>like no one was writing your story so to speak
>THE WORLD IS AT YOUR FINGERTIPS ANON
>wut do?
>ehh..why bother
>you decide and just make your way over to twiggles and watch her get all mad as you rip out pages of books, crumple them into balls and toss them at her one by one
>>
page 10 bump
>>
>>25626146
>JESUS the tread sucks today!

the thread sucks every day.
>>
>>25627045
Kek

It's not usually this slow though. Look at the post times nig
>>
>>25627137
Obviously it's time for some of us to step up to fill the void.

Make requests, I'm getting good and liquored up.
>>
>>25618485
>not the best version.
>>
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>>25627155
Any chance you'd be willing to do some daddy x daughter with these two cuties?
I don't care if it's rough and dirty clop, or some passionate and engaging romance.

Sorry for asking here, but you can't actually get anything in satyr general anymore.
>>
>>25626146
that meta anon
>>
>>25627155

You know, that's not a bad suggestion. I'll follow suit and write something shortly as well.
>>
>>25627251
Merry Decemberween, satyrfag
>>
>>25627155
Anon and Ponk with Gummy cute funs
>>
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>>25627251
I feel like giving up entirely sometimes
I don't know how you're here just in time for me to get drunk. But here we go. Here's the one from last time too
https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24820599/#24874612

>"DAD!"
>Kim rushes into the room, Mera bouncing along behind her as she tends to do
>That's kind of what happens when you've got your snake-sister sticking out of your backside anyway
>Your half-goat-tiger-snake-human daughter flashes you a toothy grin
"What's up, kiddo?"
>"I found out that I can do something awesome! You wanna see?"
"Sure, blow my mind."
>Kimmy nods, taking a deep breath, enough to push out her chest and cheeks, and then holds it
>You watch her, smiling and waiting for the exhale
>Five seconds
>Twenty seconds
>...Sixty
>Ninety?
>You lean in close, staring at your daughter to make sure that she's not breathing through her nose, but you can't even see anything that would suggest that
>Two minutes now, and she's not even looking winded
>And so time stretches on until it dawns on you that Kim doesn't have to breathe
>Reaching past her, you grab Mera's mouth and clamp it shut
>Almost immediately Kim's eyes bulge and she chokes out a very unattractive gasp
>You smirk, tapping her nose with a finger
"Very clever, you almost got me."
>The girl scowls, glancing back at her sister.
>"Aw man."
>Releasing Mera, the snaky girl pouts
>"We were ssssure we'd get you thiisssss time."
"Well, you have to be a little quicker to pull one over on your old man."
>The girls nod
>But Kim brightens almost immediately
>"So, there's a second part!"
"Oh?"
>The girls nod.
>"Want to ssssee?"
"Uh, sure."
>The girls smile at each other
>And then Kimmy pants you straight out of your underwear
>With her tiger speed, the siamese halfling pounces onto your dick and begins lapping at it furiously
>Giving a tired sigh, you try to push the girl away, but she keeps tonguing you all the same
"Kim."
>"Mmph."
"Kimmy."
>"Mmph."
"Stop that."
>"Mm-mm."
>>
>>25627822
>Well shit, that didn't work
>What did the parenting guidebook say to do after they don't listen to you?
>As you wrack your brain for the next step, your dick decides that it's had enough of modern parenting practices
>If a kid won't listen, smack them across the face!
>Which, is exactly what your now stiff boner does
>Unfortunately, rather than recoil and tear up, Kimmy moans
>Somehow, you think that your dick knew this would happen
>Fucking Richard.
>"Mm, Daddy, you're so naughty."
>Her voice has that dangerous purr that her mothers get before they pounce
>Her slitted eyed meet yours even as her mouth opens and she slides your erection into her mouth
>You grimace as the rather rough surface of her tongue drags along the underside of your dick; the smaller halfling struggling to force her jaw wide enough so her sharp teeth don't press against you
>But somehow, some way, she manages to get you to the back of her throat
>Then, with a rather coy wink, she rolls further down, deepthroating you like a fucking champ
>Granted, there's fear behind her eyes and you can feel her swallowing frantically, but she's going for it all the same
>Mera chooses that moment to slither up alongside you, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
>"What do you think Daddy? Thisss isss our sssissster "breathlessss" ssspecial."
"It, uh, it's nice?"
>The girls completely miss your awkward response and sigh happily.
>"We're ssso glad you like it."
>"Mhmm."
"Kim, don't talk with your mouth full."
>The halfling rolls her eyes and begins bobbing her head back and forth, initiating an awkward but gentle deepthroat blowjob.
>You watch as Mera takes control of the breathing for the pair, her eyes drifting shut as she forces ever larger gulps into their shared body
>What a weird couple of kids.
>But fine, if they want to play this game, you may as well go all in.
>>
>>25627839
>Reaching down, you tussle your hairy daughter's head.
>Kimmy chokes out a giggle, which turns to a panicked grunt as you grip the horns on top of her head
>Stumbling to your feet, you pull her up along with you and begin to give her a royal facefucking
>Kimmy quickly tears up, but doesn't do anything to stop you, grunting and working the unfamiliar muscles of her throat as best she can
>Mera isn't doing much better, the sudden shift in positioning causing her to wobble about unsteadily as she begins to hyperventilate.
>At this rate, they won't last more than another thirty seconds or so
>Just as well
>You give a few more pumps and thrusts before carefully extracting your batter blaster from your daughter's toothy maw
>She starts to gargle something when the first splash of spooge smacks her across the face
>Kimmy sighs in protest as she's smothered
>After things settle down, you pat her affectionately on the head
"That wasn't too bad for a first time, kiddo."
>Those yellow eyes peer out at you from the snowbank of her face
>"But now I'm a mess."
"That's right."
>Another hair ruffle
"And you'll continue to be until you manage to make me cum down your throat. Now go get cleaned up, your mothers are going to be home soon."
>"Okay."
>The girls groan in tandem.
>As they move towards the bathroom, you call after them
"And remember, good girls don't waste spunk."
>As they round the corner, you see Mera leaning in and starting to clean her sister's face off with her tongue
>Chuckling, you shake your head and pull up your pants
"Ha, ha, crazy kids. What kinda scheme will they come up with next?"
>>
>>25628417
no u
>>
Hey, writefags of AiE. Can we get some green on >>25624178 and >>25624871 pls?
>>
>>25629019
>Not a ten billion barrel
>>
I miss Nof...
>>
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>>25629464
I stopped giving a fuck
he did first
>>
>>25629019
You know what REALLY needs green right now?

>>25348644 does.

It's a general with great potential, but only one active writefag.
>>
>>25630201
Then have that active writefag come here. It totally fits as an AiE concept and it keeps a mostly dead thread from cluttering the board.

Don't come here and beg for writefags when your writefag could just come to this thread instead.
>>
>>25629019
>>25630201
>implying
They could just let their overly specific threads die and move their stories on over to AiE.
>>
>>25630660
>>25630681
I've been trying to get that one writefag to move here, but those faggots just refuse to let it die.
>>
>Dear Princess Twilight,
>Hey, I know I normally don't write to you but I needed to get a safe distance away before you discovered what I did to your downstairs bathroom.
>You'll probably have to replace everything that's in there. Plus Nkunknkung the Destroyer is a terrible bathroom attendant. I tried to get her to leave, but I couldn't pay the price she was asking.
>Can you believe the price of orphan blood today?
>Anyway enjoy the 250 years of darkness and pain or whatever.

>Sincerely,
>Anonymous.

>p.s. Tell Spike to stay out of my porn until I get back. F.Y.I. he's really into the mom/son type stuff if you're interested.
>>
>>25631364
>he's really into the mom/son type stuff if you're interested.
That's cool.
So is she.
>>
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page 9 rump
>>
>>25632076
Now there's an image we can all get behind.
>>
>>25615678
okay?

i dont understand the reasoning for the random gay scene
>>
>>25632736
Luna is a massive sexual deviant and was getting off on watching two stallions dance the horizontal mambo while waiting for the right time to magic herself a rumpleforeskin and run a train.
RIP Robin Williams
>>
>>25632736
Equestria doesn't have internet porn.
>>
>>25632736
Why not have a gay scene?
>>25632982
This is also an extremely good reason.
>>
>>25633020
I like the idea of an Anon so sexually jaded and numbed by internet porn that he just can't get excited by anything anymore.
>>
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>>25632736
As the others have said, luna a kinky slut. Besides, what better way to get ready for bed than watching a pair of stallions enjoy some carnal pleasure before growing a cock of your own and joining in? Only a faggot wouldn't enjoy that sort of thing.
>>
>>25632076
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XBm8oAYxzA
>>
Festive crosspost
>>25630327
>Anon becomes a semi-mystical being like Santa Claus

>Day XXXmas in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Today is decemberwarming eve so you're out and about in the nicer parts of town
>Each year the ponies leave out offerings to you in exchange for dickings
>Since the richer ponies can afford better offerings you tend to visit them more than the poorer ones who don't give such good stuff.
>You still swing by to the poorer ponies if they're on the way to where you're going, but you plan your trips based on who gives the best stuff
>After the first year you picked up these helpers who pull your cart of goodies around.
>Some ponies leave treats for them on the ground out the front of their houses, hoping they will veer over to collect them and thus bring the dickings closer to them
>Now some might wonder how one man can fuck all the ponies in one night
>"There's just not enough time in one day to fuck that many things." They might claim.
>And they'd be wrong.
>Ponies don't have good sexual endurance.
>So you end up sticking your dick in one pony and having to carry them towards the next house so that your dick doesn't get cold
>You usually don't have time to reach the next pony before the one you're fucking collapses from being fucked too much
>TFW the ponies had to make a national holiday to overcome their sexual shortcomings
>>
Not from around here crosspost
>Be Anon
>In Canterlot dungeons because cultists
>Fucking cultists
>"Run! it's broken free!"
>Right now you're trying to figure out where you are
>You notice there's a friendly map on the wall
>"Canterlot Dungeon Map"
>Okay now where are you on the map...
>Seriously?
>"Secret cult ritual chamber" has a red dot on it saying "You are here"
>Okay, if you're reading this right you need to go left at the end of the corridor, through the wee men storage warehouse and then up the staircase to get to the exit.
>You calmly exit the ritual chamber and head towards the exit
>On the way you encounter some scared looking but very festively coloured ponies
>Similar to the cultists from earlier but not wearing evil cultist robes
>They're so bright and cheerful looking, except for the looks of utter horror on their faces as they run screaming shortly after you meet them
>When you reach the exit there are a bunch of them crouching behind a little sandbag wall
>As you pass them you stop to take a close look
>Oh, that's just adorable.
>They're dressed up as little ancient soldiers.
>Oh, they've seen you and are all just sitting there staring at you.
"Hello there."
>They all horse scream and run around, one of them bashing his head into the wall
"Bad pony! NO!"
>They all stop and just stand there looking at you blankly again
>It takes a few minutes, but you get them outside with a lot of shoving and lifting.
>Some fresh air will do them good.
>>
>>25634376
>the wee men storage warehouse
>>
>Be Anon.
>The spiderpones are all hungover this morning.
>Apparently there was a shindig last night that went on until the wee hours in the morning.
>You couldn't hear it from inside your panic room.
>Time to go foraging.
>It takes half the day, but you get some much needed supplies in the way of canned goods and spider pornography.
>Just because you're scared of horse sized spiders doesn't mean you aren't trying.
>You also took this opportunity to tie spiderlegs together with some rope fron the general store.
>Why they even kept it in stock you'll never know.
>Now you sit back with some canned peaches with Yakity Sax playing as you watch spiderpones stumble around on closed circuit television.
>>
>>25634448
They know
>>
>>25635266
Of course they do.
>>
>Be Anon.
>You like Purple Pone, but she no like you.
>Always yell.
>Be mad at Anon.
>You know no why she mad.
>Woo Purple Pone.
>Bring gifts of song, dance, and meat.
>Bear was good fight, much meat for Purple.
>She just yell.
>Anon sad.
>Anon sit next to house and stroke lovestick.
>>
>>25636003
That's what Cavemanon gets for having shit taste.
>>
>>25635537
Too much...
>>
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>>25636094
Rarity a shit.
>>
>>25636362
no ur waifu
>>
>>25636380
Luna is a veteran of the waifu wars.
Her taste in waifus is lacking though.
>>
>>25636457
Which ones?
>>
>>25637072
All the ones that are not yours.
>>
>>25637117
I meant which wars.
>>
>>25613272
Chapter 2 uploaded.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzYWzNTB8m0
>>
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>>25637699
Next time, a link would be much appreciated. Also it's going to be difficult for people to come into this story when everything is all in one single paste; trying to read and take pauses will be a hindrance to readers.

The second part felt somewhat rushed, like you wanted to get the chapter put down. I get why people do this, they're eager to get their work out and shared or finished, but please slow down and work things over. The dialogue between Rarity and Applejack are a good example of this. You had them discussing things before they ran from the timberwolves. In that one line of dialogue between them after they escaped, Rarity just so happened to see a throne that was thrown in. That was very clunky, Forest. The first part of your story was a pretty okay start, barring that beginning.

Another thing to note is the main in your story. I am sorely disappointed that the human had, for some reason, morphed into the shape of a pony. I expected something to change, such as him being plant-like or maybe even turning partially into a tree, but to have him lose his humanoid shape? I don't get the reasoning. And while I find the name "Everfree" interesting, maybe as a nickname for him, it doesn't help things here. You've essentially made an OC pony named Everfree the main in your story when these threads traditionally have a human in Equestria named Anon. You're not going to have many fans over that decision unfortunately.

While I'll still give this story a chance, I don't see many people continuing further at this point.
>>
>>25637596
2
>>
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I got a little sidetracked by another thread last night. But here we are again.

Make your request.
>>
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>>25639248
depressed dresshorse
>>
>>25639300
Opposite out of spite
again
>>
>>25639248
A day in the life of Anon and his milky minotit harem.
>>
>>25639248
Anon tries to use the pones as pokemon.
>>
>>25639248
Anon secretly dates one pony while publicly "dating" another pony.
>>
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>>25639300
Why would you wish that on such a nice pony?

>Day Cold Pigs in Equestria
>You're Anonymous, and headed over to Rarity's
>For, y'know, clothes and shit.
>Since you arrived, the clothier has taken an interest in providing you with additional pieces of attire
>Something about it being 'a unique experience, darling' or whatever.
>It's piecemeal, but she's been able to keep you comfortable so far.
>Unfortunately, she seems a little less inspired to give you a hand up.
>Hoof up.
>Whatever.
>Point is, she doesn't seem to be interested in working for free anymore.
>Which, y'know, is fine.
>She's got a business and all.
>But you need some socks.
>Preferably thick ones because the weather team is working overtime to get Ponyville ready for winter.
>With a pocketful of bits jangling, you make your way across the town, ready to make your first official clothing purchase.
>To be honest, you're a little excited, as silly as that sounds.
>But the first sign that something is wrong is when you find the door to Carousel Boutique is locked
>The second is when you knock and nobody answers
>Now, Rarity's an artist
>There's no denying that
>But she doesn't usually lock up her store during business hours.
>So you peek in a couple windows.
>The lights are on, but there's no sign of the marshmallow mare anywhere
"Where you at, Rare?"
>Pursing your lips, you shuffle around the Boutique, glancing inside and occasionally trying the windows as you pass by them.
>They're shut tight.
>The back door isn't though.
>So, standing half-in and half-out, you rap your knuckles on the now open door.
"Rare? You in?"
>A plaintive groan echoes down somewhere from the second floor.
>Closing the door behind you, you head up the stairs and take a look around.
>Ah, there she is.
>Rarity sits in front of her work station
>Well, sort of; there is that whole 'being flopped over it' part too
>She makes another weak sound as you clear your throat, one of her eyes lazily drifting over to you.
>>
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>>25640071
>"Oh. Anonymous."
>She coughs, pulling herself up to a seated position.
>Well, she tries, but ends up unable to lift her cheek from the counter top
>Offering up another sigh, the tired pony stares through you.
>"Apologies. Had I known you were coming by, I might have put on some tea."
"You look a little rough, Rarity."
>A pained smile flits across the fashionista's face as she brings her hooves up to her mane and futilely tries to smooth out the stray hairs springing out of it
>"I'm sure I must look a fright dear, you don't need to remind me. What can I do for you?"
"I, uh, I came to place an order for some winter socks?"
>Almost immediately you see a part of the little pony's life die in her eyes.
>"Oh. Yes. Of course."
>You wait for a moment for her to do, well, anything, but she just lays there, likely not even seeing you at this point.
>You clear your throat again.
"Rarity? You okay?"
>There's a lengthy silence.
>The mare's tired expression morphs into a petulant pout.
>"...No..."
>Another awkward moment before you step closer.
"Well, what's wrong?"
>"I'm horribly backed up on orders already."
>Oh.
>You scratch the back of your neck.
"Okay, then I suppose I won't burden you more."
>Rarity blinks lazily, finally looking up into your eyes for the first time since you entered the room.
>"I would appreciate it."
>Wow.
>Talk about being moody.
"So, I'll leave now."
>Rarity nods, turning her head and burying her snout into her desk.
>Okay, forget moody.
>This is a grade A funk.
>You puff out your cheeks and then tap your foot a few times.
"Hey, Rare?"
>Groan.
"You, uh, want a pizza?"
>It takes a moment, but the mare turns back to you.
>"Are you suggesting I eat one? Or are you offering?"
"...Yes?"
>There's an awkward silence before she pushes herself away from the table.
>"Then I suppose that's fine. But I am not going to be seen by other ponies in such a state. Bring it back, if you would."
"Yeah, sure."
>>
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>>25640082
>As you're walking back across town, you begin to wonder how something as simple as getting socks has turned into a dramatic affair.
"Must be Rarity being Rarity."
>The thought brings a smirk to your lips.
>An hour later, you've returned back to Carousel Boutique, and the two of you have managed to munch your way through three-quarters of the pie.
>For all her airs, Rarity can be a messy eater when she wants; a fact attested to by the splotches of grease on her belly as she slouches deeper into her chaise lounge.
>Taking a long pull off of her wine, the inebriated blue eyed pony offers up an angry huff
>"I despise special orders, Anonymous."
"Why's that, Rare?"
>"Because inevitably the ones making them have absolutely no sense of style or grace when it comes to fashion."
>Squirming in her seat, she takes another drink.
>"Every mare wants a little black dress, but some of them don't realize that black looks absolutely atrocious on them. But they can't be dissuaded from changing the color."
>Another bite of pizza, which she only partially chews before speaking again.
>"Sure I can be creative and go with a smokey grey, but I can only do that so many times before ponies begin to catch on and demand black."
>Swallowing, the marshmallow mare glares at the pizza hovering in front of her.
>"I am an artiste after all. Not a miracle worker. Well, not all the time."
>Going back to chewing on the slice, Rarity crosses her hooves over he belly and stares off into space again.
>You take a bite of your own, lost in thought for a long moment before smiling.
"Well, I don't think it's as bad as all that."
>"It's horrible, dear."
>You laugh a little.
"Maybe sometimes. But even when you get a little creative with their requests, they keep coming back to you, right?"
>>
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>>25640110
>Rarity gives an affirmative grunt; a noncommittal sound, but you can feel her eyes on you.
>Coughing, you shrug.
"Well, I was just thinking that even though they're not getting exactly what they asked for, they keep coming back, so they must at least acknowledge that you're doing good work for them."
>Another small sound, softer this time and accompanied by a gentle nod.
>"I suppose."
"In light of that, maybe you should focus your attention on what's right instead of what they want."
>A snooty snort escapes Rarity's snout, but the white mare smiles all the same.
>"Perhaps I should have a little more confidence in myself. A surprised client is far easier to deal with than an upset one."
>You grin.
"That's the stuff."
>The two of you continue your 'meal' in silence.
>You never did get your order in.
>But a week later, there's a package with a pair of knitted socks in your mailbox.
>You smile, tapping them a few times against your palm.
"She's a good gal, that Rarity."
>>
>>25640071
>Why would you wish that on such a nice pony?
edge?
>>
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>>25640071
>Why would you wish that on such a nice pony?
Because she a adorable when she's outside her comfort zone
>>
>>25640116
cute. thank
>>
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>>25632076
>>
>>25639396
>5:30
>Wake up
>Wait, no, you don't because you drowned in milk overnight
>How do you not attend to your minotaurs before going to bed?
>Seriously, you gotta be a better owner than that.
>They're fucking cows, man.
>Take care of that shit.

>>25639429
>Be Applejack, wandering around looking for your sister.
>She's been missing for the better part of the day now
>Apparently she's been running around with that darn human again
>You head out to one of his usual haunts, the road behind Sugar Cube Corner
"Applebloom? Anon? Where ya'll at?"
>At that moment, the human in question steps out from an alley, wearing a smug smile
>You sigh in relief
"Thank goodness. You seen Applebloom?"
>He wordlessly walks up to you, still wearing that same smile
>You take a step back, but he's on you in an instant
>"We made eye contact! That means we have to battle!"
"What th-"
>"DOO-DOO-DEE-DOO-DOO-DEE-DOO-DOO-DEE-LOO"
>He hops back a fair distance, still wearing that manic smile and making weird noises with his mouth in between speaking
>"Human Anonymous wants to battle!"
"What in tarnation..."
>"Human Anonymous sends out Little Apple!"
>Reaching behind his back Anonymous pulls out Applebloom by her tail
>The tiny pony kicks her legs in the air
>"Sis! HALP!"
>"My starter must almost be ready to evolve by now! Go get'em, Little Apple!"
>Tossing the smallest member of your family out onto the ground, Anonymous returns to making his 'music'
>Your sister sniffles, looking up at you
>"S-Sis."
"Well that tears it."
>Scowling, you charge past the red-haired pony and slam into the human's middle
>His eyes bulge as he rocks forward and falls onto his knees
>The song stops abruptly
>And then
>"T-Trainer Anonymous has lot the battle. Trainer Anonymous has whited out..."
>Collapsing onto the ground he spills bits everywhere
>You stare at the scene for a moment more and then shake your head
"C'mon AB, let's go home."
>You make a note not to let Anonymous anywhere near your sister from now on
>>
>>25640494
Why must you make me sad like that, Gator?
>>
>>25640556
Brother I don't even know that 'tauresses' or whatever are a thing. All I remember from mythology is that the Minotaur plowed human girls like no tomorrow.
>>
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>>25639248
Anon constructs and flies pic related across ponyville.
>>
>>25640846
Ponies can't tell that it's not normal Twilight, even when she's right next to them.
>>
>>25640846
The rump is too full to belong to bookhorse. Deflate it a bit so that it is wrinkled and saggy.
>>
>>25637072
Ben Kingsley is her waifu. She watches Gandhi at least once a day.
>>
>>25640575
I think he also ate them afterwards. Probably because he didn't want to get screwed over by family court.
>>
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Sup foo's, I brought an update.

Am I Evil 19

>You and the others were backstage in your tent at Bawken, everyone was preparing for your set.
>From here could hear the roar of the crowd as the band ahead of you finished out and you wrapped your hands in grip tape.
>Eris shivers on a chair next to you. “Why did we have to come all the way to Asgaaaaard? It's too cooooool.”
“You're in a fur coat, hun.”
>”My face is cold, come rub your beard on it.”
“Maybe after the show.”
>She groans next to you and sits in her chair upside down.
“Why are you so fussy? They treat us like royalty here.”
>”Three-fifths of our band are actually royalty,”
“Whatever.”
>”It matters.”
“WHATEVER. The point is that our music is way more accepted up north here and it shows, why are you fussy?”
>”I want to wear my coat on stage...”
“Fur jackets are not metal.”
>”I could take it back.”
“Is this like that time you tried to take racial slurs back?”
>”I'd've done it too if not for that stupid cop...”
>You roll your eyes and finish buttoning your suit.
“Mask me, sweet stuff.”
>Eris wings your green question mark mask at you. You catch it and pull it down over your head, adjusting it in the mirror before you turn to her.
“Ready to rock and rumble?”
>Eris's pensiveness over the cold vanishes as she rises up and lets her coat fall off, wearing some sweats and a long sleeve shirt underneath. “Ready.”
>>
>>25642278
>You and Eris grab your guitars and walk along the path to directly backstage.
>The rest of the band is already there, turning to greet you. “Just in time, you two.” Chrysalis says “And not a drop in your hair, Eris.”
>”Shaduuuuuup.”
>She chuckles and waves you into the huddle.
>”Okay...crew is finishing set up. These folks are way more manic than our usual fair, but that doesn't mean we take it easy on 'em, huh?”
>”Hell no.” Sombra says.
>”Damn straight. That means we play our guts out, melt some faces-”
>”Potentially literally.” Artemis says.
>”-and we make this one for the record books, feel me?”
>You and everyone else nod.
>”This is BAWKEN, guys. Before us, it was the only bastion for metal in the world. Let's give it what it deserves.”
>Chrysalis puts her hand in between all of you.
>”HATE'S GREAT!”
>The rest of you put your hands on hers and break to “BEST VILLAINS!”
>The five of you head out onto the stage, before a crowd that stretched beyond the horizon.
>Chrysalis grabs the mic as you all get in position. “HELLOOOOOOOOO ASGARD!”
>She grins and slacks the cord to the crowd. “ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HEAVY-FUCKING-METAL!?”
>The crowd erupts again.
>”ALRIGHT! Well the Knights and me got a NEW SONG for ya!”
>You wave to the crowd and prepare.
>”That's riiiiight a single coming to a place where any not-shit records are sold! Premiered here first and live! At Bawken...If your socks get blown off to hard, go grab 'em at the front gate!”
>Chrysalis turns her back to the crowd as you and Arty take the front of the stage, putting your hands in the weirdest fretting position possible for this intro.
>>
>>25642296
>For the briefest of moments your heart is in your throat and you choke, but not from fear. Reaching as far as your eyes can see is a veritable sea of people, an ocean of fans.
>Your fans.
>To see so many sentient beings gathered together in this one spot fills you with a kind of awe, but the knowledge that it’s you who they’ve all come to offer reverence elevates it to new heights.
>It makes no difference how many times you’ve seen it in the past or will see it again, the experience is fresh with each iteration.
>Unnumbered multitudes shout your names and fill the air with their adoration and it sets your blood afire.
>Is it the same for Celestia, you wonder? Is she filled with the same energy when the masses scream her praises?
>From the corner of your eye you glimpse Artemis drinking in the crowd’s energy and reveling in the sensation. At your fore Chrysalis does the same, but much more literally, her face a mask of near euphoria.
>Unwilling to tear your gaze from the scene you miss how your other compatriots are handling the attention, but you can only imagine it must be similar for them.
>Then all at once the moment passes. You swallow your heart and in your mind everything is still. All that exist are the instrument in your hands and the song in your mind.
>As one you all raise a hand to sky in salute to the progenitors of your craft and the crowd responds in kind.
>And then it begins.
>>
>>25642307
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_u8fmS8eTM
>The first mighty chord is struck with such power that the snow covering the glacier you stand upon is blasted away.
>Standing in an eerie calm before the storm, the six of you all stare straight down as the song opens with faces obscured by masks and flowing bangs while lightning flashes through a clear sky as punctuation to the notes you hammer out.
>Soon the music picks up and the calm shatters. A gale kicked up by the furious playing whips your companions’ hair into a frenzy and makes you grateful for the mask you wear.
>Magical energy arcs from each enchanted instrument with every note to create a dazzling light show all around you.
>And in the eye of the storm of metal and magic Chrysalis stands stock still with eyes closed and arms held out to her sides.
>Slowly she raises her head and her eyes fly open, twin flames of fel magic springing to life as all save Ahuizotl’s keyboard go silent.
>”On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light. In flame’s of death’s eternal reign we ride towards the fight.”
>In response to the words notes of steel tear forth from your instruments to accompany her.
>Eyes blazing bright with fury, Sombra is a maelstrom of thrashing limbs as he pummels his drums with strength to sunder stone.
>Hair as white as the snow surrounding you whips around Eris as she thrashes her head back and forth in time with the music.
>Channeling magic through his strings, Artemis casts a glamour and great wings of pure black unfurl from his back and spread wide.
>>
>>25642316
>The world itself seems to shake from the might of your performance. Almost lost through the cacophony you notice small cracks spider webbing through the ice beneath your feet, though you pay it no mind.
>Chrysalis clutches the mic close in an almost desperate grip, screaming the lyrics with an unfathomable passion.
>As she holds that last note the collected energy of the numberless masses explodes forth from within her and wreaths her in emerald witchfire.
>When the last word fades away you and Artemis take over while she catches her breath.
>Fingers a blur as they dance across your strings with inhuman speed, you coax a chorus of piercing screams from your mighty axe while the Prince of the Night follows alongside with his own siren song.
>The speed at which you play catches falling snow in a whirlwind to create a small storm about the two of you.
>Lightning cracks through the storm summoned from the sparks that fly from your strings each time a pick strikes.
>A smear of red on the neck of your guitar catches your attention for a moment and you suddenly become aware of a cut the strings had made in your middle finger.
>Your lips pull up in a grin while the dull pain encourages you ever onwards.
>>
>>25642326
>Artemis’s enchanted wings suddenly explode in a brilliant nova that sends tendrils of starry midnight across the sky and dispels the blizzard that engulfs you.
>The crowd roars its approval at the spectacle and the cracks across your icy platform grow yet more from the cacophony.
>Ablaze with evil fire Chrysalis reaches up to claw at the sky while she sings. The ground begins to rumble as though alive while a sickly green glow begins to emanate from the ice.
>The glacier heaves and tears and soon cracks open up all across its surface that widen into great rents that belch out torrents of changeling fire.
>Wracked by the display colossal chunks of ice to break loose from the glacier and fall to shatter against the frozen ground beneath, though the noise is almost completely drowned out by the cheering of the crowd and the wailing of the guitars.
>More and more you become aware of the pain in your left hand as yet more cuts open up across your fingers.
>>
>>25642340
>Heated to near boiling by the magic flowing through your strings, the blood slicking your guitar drips down from points along its neck to fizzle and spit on the frozen ground.
>Then with one final, piercing note you and Artemis release your instruments and along with Chrysalis raise your hands to the sky, first and last fingers of both hands extended to form the horns of metal.
>Countless hands rise from the sea of bodies to join your own while the changeling queen begins the chorus and you add your voices to hers.
>A warm wetness runs down your left arm while you hold it high and thin streams of red slowly soak into your sleeve.
>The second time around the crowd raise their voices to mingle with yours. The resulting noise shakes the very ground you stand upon and seems almost great enough to awaken even Grogar from his slumber.
>The voices still and quick as lightning you and Artemis take up your instruments once more while Chrysalis uses her reprieve to summon a bottle of water to herself from offstage.
>Summoning every ounce of energy you possess you lay into your instruments with reckless abandon.
>>
>>25642354
>Suddenly energy surges through your strings and when next your pick makes contact it’s overloaded with magical power and shatters in your grip.
>Mindlessly you switch to your fingers without missing so much as a single note. Fortunately you keep your nails long for exactly this reason, though you wince inwardly as the strings begin to dig into them.
>In your mind you can see the extra picks in your suit’s pockets, but to grab for one would result in missing notes and that is unacceptable.
>So you play through the pain feeling more alive than you ever have. Your treacherous strings open cuts along the fingers of your left hand and split the nails of your right, but you carry on regardless with only the music in your thoughts.
>Artemis seems to be faring better, paying you no mind while completely lost in the moment. Magical lightning courses over every inch of him making him shine like a star. Then all at once the star burns out as he ceases playing.
>>
>>25642363
>You lose yourself to the music and your hands seem to move of their own accord over your guitar at a speed no mortal eye could follow to unleash a relentless sonic barrage.
>While your strings spit pure steel Artemis makes a show of grabbing a beer and cracking it open. Casually he leans back and guzzles half the bottle’s contents while making a point of looking anywhere but at you.
>The display is lost upon you, though. You see the motion but barely register the action as consumed as you are by the music.
>Then with one last echoing shriek your solo ends and it’s Artemis’s turn.
>He abandons the bottle which remains floating in the air on an aura of magic and begins his answer to your challenge.
>Taking advantage of the brief respite you saunter over the floating bottle and snatch it from the air with your bloodied hand and down the rest of it while snatching a spare pick from your pocket.
>Once empty you toss it away to shatter against the ice and take your guitar back up as his song yields to yours.
>Having a fresh pick in your hand leaves you feeling invincible and with renewed vigor you dive back into the music and let it overtake you.
>You feel almost detached as you shred out note after note, as though you’re only a conduit for the song rather than the one giving it life.
>Springing into action once more Artemis takes up his guitar again and together you forge metal the likes of which hasn’t existed upon this world in living memory.
>In perfect harmony you give birth to a storm of chaos. Perfect in its conception it consumes and becomes you, making you into vessels for its arrival in this world.
>Abruptly the storm abates and Chrysalis breaks her silence.
>>
>>25642373
>Sombra and Eris add their voices as backup to hers while Artemis throws his head back and howls out a note as high as the heavens alongside.
>Mighty and unrelenting, the music seeps in through the rents in the glacier and fills it with a power it cannot contain. Vast sheets of ice are blasted free as its surface is raked with heavenly power in the form of lightning from the sky and green fire from below.
>Steam rises from the boiling blood on your strings while ethereal energies writhe across Artemis’s. You play with unrelenting fury to craft a tribute worthy of your forefathers, those two first great titans of metal.
>All the while the world falls to pieces around you and reality itself shudders under the iron onslaught.
>Even time seems to warp under the strain. Each note seems at once to hang in the air for an eternity and only a fleeting moment.
>But not even the rending of time and space is capable of forestalling the end, but you hold onto that final moment for as long as possible.
>The final screams of your instruments carry out over the frozen wasteland with a triumphant finality, carving themselves into the very landscape as testament to their existence.
>But soon the moment passes and all is silent...until the crowd explodes into cheers again.
>The five of you wave, you a bit weakly due to your hand.
>Eris hurries over to you and looks you over. “Really!? Through the bandages too?”
“I'm enthusiastic...”
>Eris waves a medic over and pushes you to the side of the stage. A quick glance to the others and they know what's up, Sombra starts a drum solo to cover.
>With one last look you survey the effects of the power of your metal. The fans, the glacier, the latent magic, all of it.
“Do you think we'll get eco-nuts protesting our shows now too?”
>>
>>25642384
Pastebin updated.
http://pastebin.com/u/Mandroid
For...8th, right? http://pastebin.com/r9rtTCVD
Thoughts?

This took too goddamn long to get out. I blame the holidays and the length of this song. Big thanks to Imperius for helping me get that bitch out.

I promise the next chapter will be out sooner. HOPEFULLY it will also be formatted better, OpenOffice sucks.

Till then!
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>>25642400
>>
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>>25602105
What is it?
>>
>>25603357
Ya'll better be makin' more soon. I used to handle the bin for that thread in the beginning, but hadn't gone back there since then. Not for lack of want, mind you.
>>
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Pinkie a good pone who dindu nuffin. She praise dat sun erry day.
>>
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>>25643588
It is Return to Kharak
>>
I believe that Anon is in Equestria right now.

Upon arrival, Anon has transformed into a rabbit and pretends to be a dumb animal to be cared for by Fluttershy
>>
>>25644155
The form changes, yet the dick stays the same size.
>>
>>25644184
So technically he is literally just a dick with a rabbit attached to it.
>>
>>25644258
Would you have it any other way?
>>
>>25644293
Meh, it depends.
Having your body composed mostly of your dick just means that it has the highest likelihood of getting hit in a fight.
>>
>>25644301
That's why you move in with the mare that is most likely to care and pamper you.
>>
>>25644314
You mean her house right? Not her V?
>>
>>25644319
First one, then the other.
>>
>>25644301
Getting hit in the duck isn't the problem, its the balls that's hurt the most
>>
>>25644323
Oh good.
>>25644325
And if it is a sword? You don't want to get it cut in half.
>>
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>>25640116
Awww yiss. Socks.
>>
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>>25644634
>>
>>25644634
Rarity looks fat in that picture.
>>
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>>25642184
There was that too.
>>25644634
>>25644644
Ponyville winters are cold, brothers.
>>25644672
A Chubbity is fine too
>>
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>>25644672
Ponies should be chubby.
>>
>>25644707
I ain't complaining. They're easier to catch if they weigh more.

Hogtie those ponies and then cornhole them to show'em who's boss.
>>
crosspostan
>>25644977
>Day role reversal in Anonquestria
>You are pony.
>Today you are going on a picnic with your new human friends Anon, Anon, Anon, Anon, Anon, and Anon.
>It's nice how all the humans around here are trying to make you feel welcome.
>As the time for the picnic approaches, you leave the house Anon arranged for you to be lent and head to Anon's place, since it's on the way to the park.
>Anon's human assistant Anon greets you at the door to his converted military base home.
>"Hi Pony, how are you today?"
"I'm alright, you?"
>"Not too bad apart from this guy chained up in my basement who keeps whining at me."
>Anon, Anon, and you all head off to the park together, Anon carrying a picnic basket.
>After a brief chat with Anon, the tree of you continue on to the park and leave Anon to his gardening.
>He's really good at it, those plants are huge.
>When you, Anon and Anon reach the park you see the rest of the group waiting for you on a large rug.
>Anon has a couch he's sitting on, somehow he always inexplicably has the most luxurious furniture in the most odd places.
>"Hello Pony, would you care for some tea?"
"Yes please"
>Anon passes you a very nice looking cup of tea and Anon gives you a small cake of some sort.
>Today was an okay day.
>>
>Day Equestria in Anon's living room.
>The portal to horseland destroyed your TV.
>That's okay because they payed you back in diamonds.
>Purple Horse keeps trying to use your computer.
>She has a week long ban ever since you caught her masturbating to Khan Academy videos on youtube.
>At least Applejack stops by with apple pies every once and a while.
>She's a nice pony.
>>
>>25627857
Didn't really care much about the ending.
>>
>>25644710
Just like home!
>>
>>25644155
2deep
>>
>>25647262
4u
>>
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>>25648030
>>
>>25648876
I thought I was CIA though
>>
>>25619216
and then it got 4chan'd
>>
>>25619806
>everybody walk the dinosaur
my sides might never be found
>>
>>25603357
>Branches whiz by your head as you crash through the forest.
>In the distance, sirens and shouting can be heard.
>You've broken out again.
>Nothing out of the ordinary for you.
>Today is a bit different though.
>Today-
>The green earth pony
>"Ha! I knew sticking to you would pay off eventually. Didn't I tell ya Lockpick?" The green earth pony to right yells in jubilation.
>The orange pegasus to your left flexes his wings.
>"Ya sure did Risky!"
>...you have company.
>Risky Stakes and Lockpick.
>You noticed that the two have been shadowing you for the last couple of days.
>Apparently they followed you through that hole in the cafeteria you made.
>Usually the guards are quick enough to stop any other escapees but not this time.
>You don't mind though.
>Just as long as they don't get in your way.
"So big guy, what's your next move? Got a safehouse or something?"
"A church. Shouldn't be too far now."
>Risky nods.
>"Brilliant! The cops won't think to look there."
>Lockpick stumbles in sudden alarm.
>"But I didn't bring my Sunday best!"
>Risky gives him a flat look.
>"We're not going to service, you doofus!"
>"Oh, yeah."
>>
>>25649583
>Soon your little party exits the forest onto the edge of Ponyville.
>The back of an ivory church lies before you.
>"There it is. Come on!"
>Your two crooks race off to the backdoor while you just casually walk to it.
>In their haste, they fail to see the carriages and decorations in the front of the building.
>The door is shut behind you once you pass through.
>The two ponies slump to the ground, panting from the nonstop run.
>Risky chuckles after getting his breath back.
>"We'll stay here til the heat is off. Then we're home fr-"
>An loud, aggravated sigh cuts him off.
>The three of you freeze as a blue unicorn in a tuxedo rounds the corner.
>"Why did I make this so bucking long? I'm doomed!"
>A deck of cards floats before him, momentarily blocking his view.
>Risky bristles in alarm.
>"Crud!"
>He snaps to Lockpick.
>"Gag him before he makes any noise!"
>"Right boss!"
>The gangly pegasus takes off toward the unsuspecting unicorn.
>It's at this moment that he looks up from his cards towards you.
>His eyes widen in shock.
>Lockpick is halfway to him when he suddenly shouts.
"Anon, you made it!"
>Lockpick stumbles out of the air, landing on the ground in a heap.
>You smirk.
"Course I did! Couldn't miss my bud's big day."
>You leave Risky behind to greet your pal with a hoofbump.
>>
>>25649601
>Inspecting your friend's face, you quirk an eyebrow at him.
"Looking a bit nervous there, buddy. You ready?"
>He looks sourly at the cards floating before him.
>"Ugh, it's these wedding vows. I haven't been able to memorize them for days. I feel like a foal doing a school presentation."
"Let me see."
>You snatch the cards away and bring them up to read.
>After a few seconds of skimming, you scrunch your face in disgust.
"Christ. It's a wedding vow, not an eulogy. No wonder you can't memorize it."
>You promptly rip the cards up.
>"No wait!"
>He tries to catch the pieces in his magic but you interrupt him by squatting down to his level.
>You look closely at him, your expression serious for once.
"How do you feel about this mare?"
>"Well...I love her."
"And?"
>"And she's beautiful, smart, makes me laugh, I want to spend all my time with her, she makes me want to be a better stallion, and...I want to be with her forever."
>You throw your arms in the air.
"Then say that! Short, sweet, and to the point. Everyone loves that."
>He looks down at the shredded remains of his vows before looking up at you with a grin.
>"Thanks Anon, I feel much better."
"No problem."
>You pat him on the back before following him down the hall.
"Hey, is she still mad at me?"
>"Well, yeah. It was pretty bad, Anon."
"It was so long ago though."
>"But it was with her sister, man."
"I said I was sorry."
>"I don't know if even I could forgive you for something like that-"
>"NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE!"
>>
>>25649616
>You and the groom pause in your conversation to look back at Risky.
>His face is a mixture of confusion and anger.
>"What is going on here?! You know this guy?"
"Yeah, it's his wedding today."
>"I thought you were going to a hideout!"
"Noooo, I said I was going to a church. You didn't ask why."
>"Are you telling me you broke out of prison just to go to some guy's wedding?!"
>"I was wondering about the red jumpsuit."
"Hey, I didn't tell you to follow me here."
>"I thought you were a criminal mastermind but you're a bigger idiot than Lockpick!"
>Wow, rude.
>"I'm getting out here!"
>With a huff, he turns back to the exit.
>He's barely out the door when he quickly backpedals in, slamming the door shut.
>He looks back at you in a panic.
>"The whole place is surrounded!"
>You take a peek out the window.
>As he said, you can see several cops loitering the grounds, examining the ground.
>Knowing the usual procedure for your breakouts, it's guaranteed to be even more in the front.
>"How did they find us so quickly?"
"Well, I didn't exactly try to hide my tracks."
>Your friend looks up at you with some worry.
>"Is there going to be a problem?"
"Nah, they'll scope out the place but won't bust in. Don't want to risk interrupting such an important ceremony."
>Risky gives you another dirty look.
>"What are we suppose to do in the meantime?!"
>You shrug.
"Wedding?"
>>
>>25649635
>"...power invested in me by Princess Twilight, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
>When he does the hall erupts with applause and band starts up again.
>You stand with everyone as you clap excitedly.
>Lockpick blows his nose with a tissue, tears in his eyes.
>Risky just grumbles in his seat with his hooves crossed.
>Since you thought it best to sit in the back, the newlyweds past by you last.
>While the groom waves at you, his blushing bride settles for just glaring at you.
>Sheesh, let it go already.
>The other attendants soon file out after the couple.
>You wait til the three of you are left before speaking.
"That was a nice wedding, don't you think?"
>"*sniff* Uh-huh."
>"Yeah, it was fan-bucking-tastic."
>Someone's cranky.
"What's your problem?"
>"Oh, I don't know. Maybe its the fact that when we go out there we'll be thrown right back into the slammer!"
"So?"
>"So, I don't /want/ to go back!"
>You give him an incredulous look.
"Why would you want to leave prison?"
>Risky looks at you like you just said the world revolves around the sun due to gravitational forces.
>"To...get out?"
"Why though? We get all the luxuries of a five-star hotel for no cost! Well-furnished rooms, food, a library, swimming pool, and all the clubs you can think of. Tell me one thing that was better out there."
>"Well, we had...um, there was..."
>Lockpick speaks up excitedly.
>"We had a nice abandoned building all to ourselves this one time!"
"Oh yeah? What happened to it?"
>"It...got bulldozed."
>You roll eyes.
"Stick with me, fellas. I'll show you how sweet the life of a jailbird can be."
>You get up from your seat and go to the front doors.
>Lockpick and eventually Risks gets up to follow you.
>>
>>25649649
>You spy out the door to see the assorted cops scanning the crowd for any sign of you and your cohorts.
"Today I will teach you lesson one: how to fuck with the cops!"
>You push open the doors dramatically and stroll up to the spectating ponies.
>Almost immediately, you're surrounded by the ponice.
>The guard in front of you slowly closes in.
>"Alright Anonymous, come in quietly and we won't have to get rough with ya."
>You continue to watch the happy couple trot to the stretch carriage waiting for them.
>Before getting in, the bride stops on her haunches, bouquet in her hooves.
"Sure, sure officer. Just one thing."
>Before he can blink, you have him hoisted into the air facing away from you.
>The little pone struggles in your hands, hooves flailing.
>"Officer in distress, officer in distress!"
>The other officers bluster at you to let him go, threatening to use their foam batons on you.
>You only focus on the bride, barely acknowledging them.
>Making minor adjustments, you wait for the moment of truth.
>"Anonymous, put me down this inst-!"
>The officer clams up when his hooves are filled with flowers.
>The other officers have gone quiet as well at the sight.
>>
>>25649659
>Funny thing about pone weddings.
>For the most part, they're pretty similar to weddings back on Earth.
>They even have that bouquet thing where whoever catches it is next to get married.
>While on Earth it was just a joke and a reminder of one's crushing loneliness, in Equestria it was treated differently.
>It was pretty much mandatory that the pony to catch it to get married.
>Some bullshit about it being fate magic.
>Then again, you just escaped prison with a pony named Lockpick, so what do you know?
>No one complains about it so you don't question it.
>Eventually the silence is replaced with applause from his fellow officers.
>"Congrats, Revolver!"
>"Happy for you pal!"
>Revolver grips the bouquet closer to himself.
>"Oh wow. Wait til Daisy hears about this!"
"You know what this means?"
>The soon to be married pone looks back at you confusedly.
"We have to celebrate!"
>"B-but, we're suppose to be arresting you..."
>You wave his concerns off.
"Later! It's not everyday you catch the bouquet! I'm sure the Warden would agree."
>They all look doubtful at your flawless logic.
>Just need one more push.
"Drinks are on me~."
>That got their attention.
>You placed the officer on the ground then look back at the other convicts.
>The two stand on the front steps, dumbfounded by your skills.
>You wave them over with a wide grin.
"Come on guys, let's party!"
>>
>>25649671
>You are Warden Fusspot.
>In front of the prison gates, you pace back and forth as your teeth grind together.
>Checking the setting sun once again, you growl in frustration.
"Where in Tartarus are they?!"
>The guards posted to the sides of you wisely stay silent.
>You had sent those squads after the fugitives hours ago!
>The vein on your forehead is threatening to bust open again.
>It was one thing for that troublemaker Anonymous to escape, but two other inmates too?
>Inexcusable!
>There must have been a hole in your guard assignments that allowed such a disaster.
>You were going to lose hours of sleep agonizing over your schedules.
>But not before those criminals were back in their cells where the belonged!
>You're about to check the sun again when the sounds of rapid hoofbeats and carriages snatches your attention.
>Down the road leading to Ponyville, you can see a trio of ponice carriages kicking up a cloud of dust as they storm toward the prison.
>The corner of your mouth slightly twitches upwards.
"Ah, good. They're finally here."
>You take the time to fuss over your mane and outfit.
>Both had become frazzled in your distress.
>Finished, you stand at attention as you watch the carriages approach.
>...
>They sure are coming in fast...
>Real fast...
>As they come closer, a figure at the reins on the lead carriage starts to stand out to you.
>You squint your eyes.
>Is that?
>No, it couldn't be...could it?
>Your heart begins to sink as your suspicions become confirmed.
"Anonymous?!"
>>
>>25649686
>Said human repeatedly snapped the reins, demanding more speed from the officers pulling the carriage.
>Meanwhile, the other two carriages were being led by Risky Stakes and Lockpick, the inmates that had escaped along with Anonymous.
>All three were in an obvious state of inebriation, braying and taunting as they try to outspeed each other to the prison.
>Your officers, your highly trained officers, obediently ferried them, stumbling occasionally due to their own drunkenness.
>...
>Are you having a stroke?
>You feel like you should be having one.
>Recognizing you, the human waves at you wildly.
>"Heeeeyyyyy, Dean Fussypuss! Did we make curfew?"
>You think a stroke would be preferable to what you're feeling right now.
>Anonymous looks down at the reins in his hands, eyes scrunched in concentration.
>"...how do I stop this again?"
>Oh sweet Celestia, they're not slowing down!
"Run for your lives!"
>Chaos fills the courtyard as everypony scrambles to reach the safety of the prison.
>But it's too late.
>With a mighty crash, the carriages plow through the gates and into the panicking guards.
>The collisions causes the carriages to smash open, sending their occupants flying.
>Screams fill the air as guards are tossed like ragdolls throughout the courtyard.
>Once the screams stop and the dust clears, the courtyard is littered with moaning ponies and wreckage strewn about.
>Only one person is able to collect his senses enough to stand back up.
>Wobbling for a moment, he punches the air fiercely.
>"Haha, I win! What do I get?"
>Everyone is too busy writhing in pain to answer him.
>Slouched over the shattered hull of a carriage, mane and uniform askew, sore all over, you can only think of one thing.
>You need a drink.

Done.
>>
>>25649704
lub u bby
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>>25650375
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>>25651916
>tfw guaranteed to win when you're his guess
>>
>>25642400
hi
>>
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Continuing from http://pastebin.com/jsgHce9y

>*BOOM*
>The wood’s actually pretty thin, and you crash through without your insides splattering
>Your brain still gets knocked around
>Slowly you lift yourself up to your knees, shaking your head

>You’ve been falling a lot lately

>A small dragon greets you from across the room
>”Oh, hey Anon!”
>You look up
“Mr. Spike, Ms. Sparkle—“
>Why’s she wearing a bucket?
>Wait, why is everyone else besides those two deathly pale?
>You then notice the giant rock you landed besides
>Ms. Rarity is hugging it, glaring down at you
“Ms. Sparkle, what’s happened to them?”
>”Discord.” She answers, her annoyed voice muffled by the bucket
“I see. Do you know how to fix them?”
>The unicorn rips the bucket off and moves towards one of the intact bookshelves
>”No,” she says flatly, “But I need to find the reference guide to the Elements of Harmony before /somepony does something she’ll regret/!”
>Spike perks up
>”The Elements of Harmony? Oh, I know exactly where that book is!”

>You stand up as Spike heads for the shelf ladder, looking around at everyone who’s lost all of their colors
>Ms. Fluttershy moves to pick up a scroll
>”Found it!”
>The pegasus throws the scroll at Spike, hitting him in the face
>He drops the massive book, but Ms. Fluttershy catches it with a “Ha!”
>Twilight approaches her, her voice with an edge
>”Fluttershy… you better give me that book.”
>”KEEPAWAY!”
>Well, this is just perfect
>Whatever’s affecting them is making them antagonistic
>You watch as they all toss the book back and forth, wondering if you should intervene

>Spike tries to help by tackling Ms. Fluttershy, but Ms. Rarity picks the book up with her magic instead
>You can hear water boiling as you place your AR on your back
>”ANON!
>BOOK!
>NOW!”
>That breaks you out of your state of half-conscious
>You bolt towards Ms. Rarity, who has just hopped over the table in the middle
>You blindside her, taking her to the floor and knocking the breath out of her
>>
>>25652698
>Twilight leaps over you as you keep a squirming Ms. Rarity pinned
>You watch as Ms. Fluttershy grabs the book, and Ms. Sparkle runs smack into the rock
>Why is that rock there, anyway?
>”Where is she?” she rasps, “Where’s Fluttershy?”
“Behind Ms. Pie, ma’am.”
>”THEN GET HER!” and Ms. Sparkle leaps at both Ms. Applejack and Ms. Pie
>You let go of Ms. Rarity and follow the unicorn into the dusty scrum
>Horse legs flail
>Ms. Pie bites your armored forearm
>You shake her off and snatch the book from an unsuspecting Ms. Fluttershy
>You dive out of the brawl, rolling into a crouch beside Mr. Spike
“Got it, ma’am!”

>She disengages, and you hand the book off to her
>Both you and Mr. Spike keep an eye on the advancing belligerents, and Ms. Sparkle attempts as persuasion
>”Stay back, ALL of you! This is /my/ book, and I’m gonna read it!”
>You almost glance back at Ms. Sparkle, wondering if she‘s turning grey too
>But you and Mr. Spike keep the others back, until you hear a gasp

>”The elements, they were here all along!”
>Mr. Spike runs over to her, and you look over your shoulder to find several pieces of jewelry inside the cutout pages
>”That’s great! Now you guys can defeat Discord, and bring everything back to normal!”
>You walk up behind Ms. Sparkle, looking down at the artifacts
“So you used those to redeem Princess Luna?”
>”Yes! And now we can set everything here right!”
>Ms. Sparkle and her assistant show the book to the others, who are now loitering around the rock
.>This leads up to her asking, “You don’t even care, do you?”
>They all respond with a unanimous “Nope.”

>Some of Ms. Sparkle’s earlier annoyance is rubbing off of you
>Again, you walk up behind her
“Ms. Sparkle, what exactly happened to them?”
>The unicorn sighs
>”I still can’t believe it.
>My friends…”
>Have been cursed and are physically fading away?
>”Have turned into complete JERKS!”
>Oh
>>
>>25652724

>Ms. Sparkle suddenly grabs the necklaces and throws them on each of the other ponies
>She then puts on her ‘Big Crown Thingy’ and tells everyone to move out
>Mr. Spike picks up on a problem, though
>”But Twilight, aren’t you missing somepony?”
>”Nope. We’ve got the liar, the grump, the hoarder, and the brute. That just about covers it!”
“I’m pretty sure you’re missing Ms. Dash, ma’am.”

>Ms. Sparkle ponders for a moment, before looking at the both you and Mr. Spike
>”Alright, who wants to be the new Rainbow Dash?”
>What?
“I don’t think that’s how it works—“
>”Too bad, Anon, you’re now Rainbow Dash nowlet’sgo!”
>She throws the necklace onto you, and it’s so tight it’s choking you
>You stumble outside to watch the rock (Tom, apparently) smash its way outside

>You find Discord, the source of all your delays in finding your Spartans, floating outside
>Ms. Sparkle confronts him, but he’s not concerned at all
>He’s probably thinking the same thing as you are
>It doesn’t stop Ms. Sparkle for calling formation, with which everyone begrudgingly complies
>”Rainbow Dash!”
>You slide into your apparent spot, still chocking on the necklace

>You look to Discord
“So you’re just going to stand there?”
>”Don’t forget the target.” And he points to it with a grin
>Then Ms. Sparkle’s horn begins to glow a pure white
>Soon, everyone is floating into the air and their necklace is glowing
>Not yours
>That explains when everything stops and the ponies plop to the ground
>”W-what’s going on?”
>Everything dissolves from there
>You rip off the necklace and give it back to an angry unicorn without a word
>Discord, clapping with random sounds, declares harmony in Equestria to be officially dead
>”Discord rules, Celestia drools.” As he put it, poking Ms. Sparkle’s nose
>And with that, he skates off on soap
>>
>>25652737
>You’re left with Ms. Pie saying, “It’s /your/ fault it didn’t work.”
>”Who are you talking to?”
>”Any of you! ALL OF YOU! I’m outa here!”
>And she bounces away angrily
>Followed by Ms. Applejack, Ms. Rarity (with Tom), and Ms. Fluttershy in that order
>Leaving you and you alone to hear Ms. Twilight brush them off and say,

>”With friends like you, who needs… enemies.”
>You watch her lose her color, and after shedding a single tear begins to walk away
>You call after her,
“So that’s it, Ms. Sparkle? You’re just going to accept it all?!”
>She keeps walking away

>And now you’re alone to wonder
>What the hell?
>So this country’s apparent /only/ hope in stopping doomsday has just given up
>You stand there, in la-la land for a minute before coming to a conclusion:
>It’s time to cut ties with this place and find a boat

>You turn to what should be west and start jogging


Continuing to write.
>>
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>>25653181
?
>>
>>25652751
>You only make it a few klicks when you-know-who appears next to you with a flash
>”Leaving so soon?”
>You keep jogging, with him skating alongside
>”Oh come on, Spartan, now you’re ignoring me?”
>…
>”Well, it looks like you’re bored already with the place. I see how it is.”
“Does this mean you’ll send me to the Griffon Republic?”
>”They’re a Republic now? Interesting…”
>You can hear him scratching his chin
>”Well, I would send you on your way, but it’s a little hard to send ponies-I mean /people/ across an ocean of jello.”
>A snap of his fingers, and a pile of dark-red goo appears on a plate
>Discord eats a mouthful
>”A little salty, but I’ll change that later, right after I check up on Miss Friendship (and then turn the boats into candy).”
“Excuse me, what?”
>You stop, but Discord continues on
>”See you later, my little Spartan.”
>And with another snap he’s gone

>He didn’t give you advice
>He didn’t give a proposition
>He didn’t even offer you a one-sided deal
>You stare at where he was, and realize that you now have no way getting over to the Republic
>Celestia, wherever she is and whatever she’s doing, will only turn you back
>And Ms. Sparkle, the Princess’s “ace in the hole” has given up
>She gave up and disappeared
>Your Spartans
>You can’t get to them now
>They’re likely fighting to stay alive
>And the one who can fix all of this and get you back to searching has just /given up/
>Just like your broth-

>No
>Not like him
>Not when you can do something about it
>With clenched fists, you turn in the vague direction of where Ms. Sparkle went
>You bound across the checkered, uneven terrain, now dead set on confronting a certain unicorn
>>
>>25653509
>The sun and moon swap places as soon as you find Ms. Grey Sparkle
>The both of you somehow ended up back at the library
>You call out to her as she walks through the hole
“Ms. Sparkle!”
>You slow down when you enter, and you see her beginning to pull books off of the shelves
“What are you doing?”
>”Packing up, we’re leaving.”
>You watch her as she puts the books into piles, her expression blank
“Where are you going to go?”
>”I… I don’t know, but we’re definitely not staying here.”

>You stare at her for a moment before telling her,
“You do realize there’s nowhere to go. Discord’s just turned the ocean into ‘jello’.”
>”Well I guess we’re not going there.”
>She continues to pack
>You hear someone burping upstairs

“Ma’am, this entire world is becoming chaotic. You can’t run away, unless you can go to space.”
>”And you can’t?” She snaps back
“Ma’am, you know-“
>”Just why are you here, Anon?”
>She stops and turns to you, a look of annoyance in her bleak eyes

>She just doesn’t care
>A heat that’s been building up ever since Discord disappeared starts to leak out
“Because I need to get back to the Griffon Republic and find my Spartans.”
>”Do you even know if any are out there?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, and now I can’t get to her because Discord’s messing everything up.”
>You briskly walk past her and start putting books back, not really caring where they go
>You just want to get her attention
“Now I know whatever spell you tried to cast didn’t work because Ms. Dash wasn’t there, but if we can get her back along with every-“
>Telekinesis wrenches the textbook you were holding from your hands
>”It doesn’t matter now—“
“BULLSHIT!”
>The hardcover slams onto the floor
>You slowly turn and walk up to a stunned Ms. Sparkle, seething
“It can work. It /has/ to work. The only reason it /didn’t/ work was because you were too impatient to find Ms. Dash beforehand.”
>You stop and tower over her
>>
>>25653639
“I will round up each and every one of them and bring them here, if it means you’ll try the spell again. If you won’t do it for your world’s sake, then do it for my teammates.”
>For some reason, Ms. Sparkle feels a need to object
>”H-how are you going to catch them?”
“They can’t outrun me, and I’ll figure a way to get Ms. Dash down from the sky. I’ll clip her wings if I have to.”
>The unicorn sighs
“Twilight?”
>”Is violence your only answer?”
“It’s worked for me so far, ma’am.”
>You then immediately hear her mutter a word under her breath:
>”(Brute).”

>Brute
>She called you a goddamn /Brute/
>The fire turns into an inferno
>Fuck protocol now

>You slowly bend down towards her
>To the point where her face is a hand’s width from your visor
“Tell that to the /Brutes/ of the Covenant. The same ones that destroyed my home.”
>Her eyes widen
“Yep. My planet, Myrmidon? It’s glass now, along with my parents, and my brother.”
>”W-what?”
“You thought this was bad? Compared to them, Discord is pleasant.”
>She begins to back up, suddenly afraid of you
“Yet do you see me moping, Twilight? Did I surrender and accept that I was dead?”
>You start following her
“No, I didn’t give up.
Sure, I ran away, but what else could a six-year-old do?”
>A tower of books topples to the floor as Twilight keeps retreating from you

“Here, you have the solution right on top of your head, but you think it’s over.”
>You cease following here, and she hesitantly stops
“Some protégé of the /beloved/ princess you are.”

>Twilight stops looking up at you and begins to stare into space
>The dead silence is broken by Spike burping from upstairs
>You take that as your que, and you walk out of the library in search of the five afflicted natives
Done for tonight.
>>
>>25600635
You guys have any Anon x Celestia stuff I can read after Exchange?
>>
>>25653863
>Be Anon.
Hey Sunbutt.
>"Call me Sunbutt again and I'll grow a horsecock and ride you like a cheap rental."
Yes your Majesty.
>>
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>>25653863
Check out Flanking Maneuvers, by Mandroid. And just so you're aware, it's actually Mous that's the main, not Anon. Anon is the brother of Mous, thus forming the Anon and Mous brothers. Check out his previous story, Brother's in Equestria for more on that. Here's the first chapter of FM:

http://pastebin.com/WNydCQ7n


Another story is Satellite Lovers, by Navarone. It's both Celestia and Luna for that one. I don't know why that jackass hasn't put that story in a pastebin for that story, nor put that story in these threads. The dick. Here's the story for SL:

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/259849/satellite-lovers

Kissing the Sun is by Bolding. It's shorter than I like my stories but still an okay read regardless. Here's the story for KtS:

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/259849/satellite-lovers

There are other stories of Celestia but these are the ones I'd say stand out to me for AiE .
>>
>>25653947

http://pastebin.com/yct4pgCg

Link to Kissing the Sun, my bad, copy/paste fucked up.
>>
>>25653863
http://pastebin.com/bMBZKBJg

Start here.
>>
>>25653952
Two of the stories I linked aren't in your pastebin, Anon. Tut-tut.
>>
>>25653653
cool
>>
So tell me, friends, are there any good Anon x Nightmare Moon stories?
I know she's a villain and all, but she's kind of hot, actually.
>>
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>>25654851
The NMM threads several months back had two but I can't find those now.
>>
>>25654869
Large pony is good pony.
/r/ stories about largepons
>>
>>25654882
yer mum is a largepon
>>
>>25654979
>TFW no bigpon ponymom
>>
>>25655010
Somehow, as a young child/baby, anon ends up on the moon with NMM.
Maternal instincts kick in for her, and she does everything she can to raise him.
The time of escape happens, but the summer sun celebration goes off withput a hitch.
Concerned, Celestia goes with Twilight to investigate, since the Elements were never gotten.
They find Nightmare moon out in the forest taking care of her adopted son.
>>
>>25655100
Celestia's mad because all that shit could have been avoided if she had just gotten her sister a pet.
>>
>>25655378
Celestia calls Anon a pet in front of NMM. Gets bitch slapped hard. Even the not elements are on NMM's side on that comment.
>>
>>25655478
And thus did Celestia become the tries-too-hard aunt that brings cool presents, but everybody hates because she's a bitch.
>>
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Reposting.

>Okay, this is it.
>There’s only one chance to make a first impression, so this has got to blow them out of the water.
>You shake yourself loose and take a steadying breath.
>Wait, should you use spearmint before going out there?
>After all, you are going to be roaring at the top of your lungs.
>What if they think the only terrifying thing about you is your breath?
>Anxiousness settles in as you begin to trot in place, running down the list of things that could go terribly wrong.
>You might teleport off center and stumble for balance.
>That’s certainly not imposing.
>You could forget your monologue.
>You’ll be forever remembered as the Mumbling Mare in the Moon.
>Even worse, what if you do manage to pull off the dramatic entrance and your voice cracks!
>A thin sheen of sweat appears on your forehead as you gnaw on your lower lip.
>This is a terrible idea, you shouldn’t be doing this.
>Even as that thought crosses your mind you take a breath and attempt to calm yourself.
“Easy girl, the plan is already in motion. Princess Celestia is locked away and aside from one little hitch, its smooth sailing ahead.”
>Another deep breath has you settling back into your evil nightmare groove.
>With a sinister smile, you push your thoughts aside and whisper,
“Showtime.”
>As you gather together the magic to perform the spell, a loud yawn pierces through your concentration.
>Oh no…
>Not now.
>“Hn, Momma?”
>You sigh and chose to forgo the spell for the moment, instead casting your eyes to the figure stumbling towards you.
“Good morning, Anonymous.”
>Shaking your head, you wonder about the strange creature.
>>
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>>25655734
>His appearance is utterly alien, bipedal and nearly hairless except for the locks on top of his head, with grasping fingers and an enormous head in comparison with his body.
>Rubbing his still sleep-filled eyes with the back of his fist, Anonymous trips over a piece of loose rubble.
>Just as you’re firing up a spell to catch him, his awkward legs seem to find their way back underneath him.
>Life seems to have leapt back into him after the near accident, his eyes wide and bright as he hurries over to you.
>With a grunt, he jumps and grabs your foreleg, grinning up at you.
>“Morning Momma!”
“I’ve told you not to call me that!”
>Despite your huff of frustration, you feel your cheeks coloring.
“My name is Moon, Nightmare Moon.”
>Anonymous stares for a moment and then smiles all the wider before burying his face into your leg and rubbing from one side to the other.
>“Momma Moon!”
>Oh dear.
>Your face goes hot as that as you feel the corners of your lips trying desperately to turn upwards.
>Through sheer force of will, you suppress the smile and change it into a scowl.
>In an attempt to appeal to authority, you clear your throat and direct your attention fully to the biped.
“Anonymous, you should be in bed. It is far too early for young boys to be up and about.”
>“I don’t wanna sleep. I wanna be with Momma!”
>That cheerful expression.
>Those slightly chubby cheeks.
>It’s enough to make your heart melt.
“Th-that’s all well and good, child, but I have a great many things to do today; things which I cannot do while you are present.”
>A flash of understanding creases across the boy’s brow as he digests that information.
>And then, just as quickly, he scowls right back at you!
>>
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>>25655741
>“Momma, you’re gonna do something bad, aren’t you?”
>The… the gall of this child!
>Before you can respond, Anonymous wraps his arms and legs around you and continues.
>“Momma I don’t want you to be bad!”
>You give your hoof a shake in an attempt to rattle the boy loose, but he’s stuck to you like a burr in summertime.
>If anything, he tightens his grip and puffs his cheeks out in protest.
>Fine, if he will not be dissuaded by action then you shall use reason.
>After all, he’s a smart boy.
>Surely he’ll see that you are in the right for wanting vengeance.
“Anonymous, dear.”
>You see his expression soften a little and the ghost of a smile return.
“You must understand that I have to do this. It is my responsibility as N-”
>The boy’s expression darkens as you continue.
>With one finger he jabs you in the side, just under behind the joint where your leg meets the barrel of your body.
>You give a sudden and wholly unqueenly giggle as your explanation gets derailed.
>Bringing his finger back to the front, he holds it up in front of you and scowls.
>“Momma Moon’s not supposed to be bad.”
>Cheeky child…
>Flashing the boy a warning look, you purse your lips in an attempt to convey how absolutely serious you are on this.
“You can’t understand this right now Anonymous, but I promise I’ll explain when you’re older. But, for the time being you must let me go.”
>“No!”
>Oh dear.
>You’d hoped to avoid this.
“Anonymous, I’m giving you until the count of three to let go.”
>When the child doesn’t move and grips you tighter, you sigh and begin the count.
“One…”
>His hands slip around his wrists, and then nearly up to his elbows.
“Two…”
>You can feel his ankles lock tight around your leg.
“…Two and a half…”
>>
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>>25655747
>Those cheeks, puffed out in righteous fury, join together with a steely defiant gaze that has no place on a child, much less in front of royalty.
“I promise you’re not going to like what’s next. Two and three-quarters…”
>Nothing.
“Three.”
>You sigh again and let the magic flow through your horn.
>He brought this upon himself.
>
>
>
>As your magical essence coalesces on the balcony, the first sounds you hear are the gasping of the ponies below.
>It really has been too long since you struck fear into the hearts of ponies.
>“Oh no… Nightmare Moon!”
>Oh to be recognized, how wonderful.
>You give a leisurely stretch and then smile out at the ponies who undoubtedly had been expecting their Princess.
“Oh, my beloved subjects. It’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious, little sun-loving faces.”
>From below come sounds of dissent, a blue pegasus scowling and shouting up at you.
>“What did you do with our Princess?”
>What indeed?
>You smile and give a short laugh.
“Why, am I not Royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am?”
>Just as a pink pony is getting ready to speak, an all too clear voice rings out through the room.
>“You’re Momma Moon!”
>The room goes deathly quiet as your face colors.
>Anonymous, having detached himself from your leg, hurls his body over the railing up to the shoulders.
>Grinning at the gathering below, the boy gives an excited wave and laughs.
>“Hi ponies!”
>Bringing a hoof to your face, you sigh and shake your head.
>This is going to make for a very long eternal night.
>>
>>25655759
That is adorable as all fuck. Writefag you are a glorious golden bastard.
>>
>>25655734
>>25655741
>>25655747
>>25655759
Was good. Made me smile. Thank you, kind writefriend.
>>
For those one-shot guys, keep entertaining your readers.

>>25655759
Alright, alright. That was cute as fuck.
>>
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>>25655734
>>25655741
>>25655747
>>25655759
Holy shit this is adorable
Moar, writefam
>>
>>25655759
This needs to be continued.
>>
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>>25655801
>>25655893
>>25655906
>>25655912
I'm glad to see something old can still make people smile.
>>25655986
Sure, just drop a nickle in my PatronPalFundStarterCup
>>
>>25656324
>Sure, just drop a nickle in my PatronPalFundStarterCup
I will donate one millionsbillions upboats to such fine and noble a cause.
>>
>>25656361
That's a lot of GoodCoinKarma. I could live off tendies for the rest of my mom's life with that.
>>
>>25656483
What happens to NEETs who can't function in society once their support dies or gets tired of their shit?
>>
>>25656674
Darwinism works in the most wonderful of ways sometimes.
>>
>>25656674
They continue to subsist due to the social safety net. Granted, their lifestyle might change, but they can get disability which they can negotiate to increase later.
>>
Hey, sorry to shit up the place, just wanted to let you know this is kinda a last call for secret santa. At the end of the day, I'm going to do the randomize and assign thing,t hat way people can start buying gifts.

Look for anonpencil on skype or contact bolding if you want in.
>>
>>25656773
How many we got so far?
>>
>>25656788

10ish.
>>
>>25656818
Nice. We should post when we get our gifts.
>>
>>25656773
Shit I forgot. I'll try to hook up when I get home from works
>>
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>>25655759
Holy shit, maxcute!
>>
>>25655759
Write more of this.
>>
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Are there any good gay anon in equestria stories? Especially if it's with shiny
>>
>>25658058
Ordinarily I'd direct you toward the appropriate containment thread, but that isn't up: http://pastebin.com/j6hxGWW4
>>
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>>25655759
adorable
>>
>>25654851
In AiE NMM doesn't really get written outside of Moonie stories. http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra
There are some, but I'm drawing a blank.
>>
>>25658058
http://pastebin.com/u/SteveEvets
http://pastebin.com/u/Leucine
>>
>>25658693
>http://pastebin.com/u/SteveEvets
I miss that fgt
>>
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>>25658710
We all do. Maybe one day he will come back to us. One day.
>>
>>25615102
>mfw no one answered this guy

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/11262498
or more specifically http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/11262498/#11266897
old /tg/ was best /tg/
>>
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>>25658058
>>
>>25658683
I remember Moonie plenty fine, it's just not what I'm looking for.
I'm still hoping to find some regular NMM x Anon stories, or that someone decides to write one, I guess.
>>
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Sup fagets
The story so far: http://pastebin.com/7txGL3k2
>>
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>>25659591
>”We couldn’t possibly do that!” Fluttershy protests. “He’s much too injured from the fight to be doing anything so strenuous.”
“Nor does the idea of having such a beast so close fill me with confidence.”
>”And let’s not forget how easily Nightmare set him after us just now. Who’s to say she couldn’t do it a second time?”
>”So we can’t keep him then?”
>”No Pinkie, the manticore isn’t coming along,” Twilight says with finality, already starting off down the path.
>”Party pooper,” Pinkie pouts, following sullenly along.
>As you and the rest follow suit Fluttershy turns to the manticore who lowers his head to nuzzle her affectionately.
>”It’s time for you to go home now, it’s not safe where we’re going.”
>The manticore stares at her for a long moment, then with one last affectionate lick it turns and prowls back into the forest, the shadows swallowing the titanic predator in a bare moment.
>Fluttershy stares almost forlornly after the beast, her eyes rooted to the foliage it had just vanished into.
>”Do hurry along, darling!” Rarity calls back to her, snapping her back to herself.
>”Oh dear, coming!” she all but squeaks out, wings fluttering anxiously as she hurries along after you all.
>”Well this adventure’s off to an interestin’ start,” Applejack remarks as Fluttershy catches up.
>”It’d be more interesting with a manticore,” Pinkie grumbles.
”Interesting and good are not always synonymous.”
>”That fight was pretty awesome though, gotta admit that.”
“It was certainly… invigorating. The haze upon my mind lifts a little more.”
>”And that lightning bolt? That was so cool!”
>Rainbow’s comment clearly piques Twilight’s interest as she turns a quizzical eye on you.
>”Yes, that was very interesting,” Twilight agrees. “It’s odd to see a knight proficient in magic, and I’ve never seen a spell like that lightning bolt before.”
>>
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>>25659604
”They are not spells, they are miracles,” you correct her.
>Twilight frowns. “That’s just arguing semantics, it’s all still magic.”
“Sorcery draws upon the power of the soul, miracles come from faith in the gods. I could give you the scroll, but without faith it would be useless to you.”
>Twilight hums skeptically to herself. “Is that so? I’d certainly like to test that.”
>Wordlessly you plunge a hand into one of the myriad pouches and satchels fixed to your belt, shuffling through its long forgotten contents.
>After a moment you withdraw your hand from the pouch clutching an old, worn scroll which you gently unroll.
>Time and travel have faded the letters of the old document as they have your memory, but a sense of nostalgia overcomes you as you read over the old prayer, each word coming more easily than the last.
>Feeling your resolve bolstered slightly you roll the scroll back up, once again reaching to your waist to retrieve a small bundle of cloth stuffed through your belt. With the scroll you hold it out, offering the two items to Twilight.
>She carefully accepts the text and the talisman from you, unrolling the old scroll almost reverently and skimming over it.
>”I don’t understand, where’s the spell? There’s just what looks like a prayer written on here. And what’s the cloth for?”
“Simply recite the prayer while holding the talisman and if your faith is great enough the sun will grant you its strength.”
>Twilight eyes you skeptically. “If you say so.”
>>
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>>25659627
>She clenches your talisman tight and raises a hand as she reads aloud the sacred words, the rest of the group watching on in silence.
>You know the end result before it even happens; the girl is a student of the soul arts and the concept of miracles is likely foreign to her.
>Twilight finishes the prayer and everyone stares at her hand with mild anticipation.
>After a moment it becomes apparent nothing is happening and Twilight lowers her hand to the sound of disappointed sighs.
“As I said, you lack the faith to cast miracles. There is no shame in that though, sorcery is an honorable pursuit.”
>”So anyone with enough faith could cast this just by reading the prayer and holding this thing? That’s all there is to it?”
“Aye, that’s all it takes.”
>Twilight clearly remains skeptical. “There has to be more to it than that.”
>”Well it’s not like we didn’t see him do it, so we know it’s possible,” Rainbow remarks.
>Twilight sighs and hands the scroll and talisman back to you. “Fair enough. The simplicity of it just irks me, I suppose. It makes no sense to me.”
“Aye, faith itself makes little sense,” you agree. “Even I find myself questioning it from time to time.”
>Twilight responds with a hum and returns to her thoughts. None of the others make an attempt to fill the void in the conversation and the group lapses into silence as you progress through the forest.
>The silence is familiar to you, long has it been your only company throughout your travels, and now it allows you an opportunity to turn your attention inward.
>The group carries ever onward, the sound of a dozen footsteps providing a backdrop to your thoughts.
>>
>>25659650
>Such a strange land you’ve found yourself in, the people stranger still. Your thoughts turn towards the conflict and the timid girl.
>Such kindness is not something you’ve known in a long time save from a scarce few. A land more fitting to your gentle soul, Priscilla had said of this place. It would seem she was not wrong.
>But what use is kindness against such a monster as the one you now face? This land and those who dwell upon it may have gentle souls, but darkness and evil appear to be universal. Only strength of arms can beat back the shadows, no act of kindness can offer you salvation here.
>Footsteps and the clinking of armor plates fills your ears while you replay the conflict with the manticore in your mind. Your choler rises as you think of how you allowed the beast to simply go free. The demon turned it against you once, what’s to stop her from doing so again?
>You clench your eyes shut and take a deep, shuddering breath. Your sword-hand unconsciously gripping the hilt of your blade as you exhale.
>As you force down your agitation you notice Rainbow cast a curious glance your way. These thoughts aren’t your own, they’re merely born of the curse. The only reason you take issue with the manticore situation is because you had been hoping to sate your hunger.
>In truth the great beast’s soul would have provided little in the way of sustenance, only a truly powerful soul holds what you need.
>Thoughts of the Nightmare flit through your mind again. Surely such a being would be possessed of an exceptionally mighty soul.
>The very thought makes your belly burn with hunger, and now not only for souls.
>Unconsciously your gaze lands upon Twilight. A powerful mage, and untouched by the curse at that; she must be absolutely replete with humanity...
>>
>>25659661
>Your heart stops as the thought crosses your mind and you avert your eyes in shame.
>Suddenly Pinkie fills your vision, having apparently crept up on you while you were preoccupied with your thoughts.
>”Whatcha thinkin’ about?” she asks with the innocence of the living.
>Caught off guard you’re unsure of what to say, certainly not the truth.
“These are our first quiet moments in the time since I’ve arrived, I’m merely taking the opportunity to ponder the situation.”
>”Well you looked kinda down, everything alright?”
>”How could you possibly know that?” Rainbow asks. “You can’t even see his face.”
>Pinkie taps her head. “I know people, not much gets by these eyes.”
>”Either way, I don’t think anyone here can really say everything’s alright considering the circumstances.”
>”Even so, I still wanna know. You feelin’ alright, Knighty?” Pinkie presses, leaning closer as she does.
>The girl absolutely radiates an aura of humanity. It’s almost overwhelming and only gets worse the closer she gets.
“I am well, friend, you needn’t worry.”
>Clearly unconvinced, Pinkie retreats a few steps.
>”If you say so, Knighty. If you wanna talk then I’m here.”
>”Well maybe he doesn’t wanna talk, Pinkie. You ever think of that?”
>The unexpected outburst draws all eyes to Rainbow.
>At the first sign of a questioning look, Rainbow practically explodes.
>”What? All I’m saying is that maybe he doesn’t want a bunch of strangers prying into his affairs.”
>You reluctantly accept that she’s not exactly wrong. It would behoove you to keep your hunger hidden for as long as possible.
>”Calm down, Rainbow, no one’s prying,” Twilight says placatingly.
>”I am calm!”
>”That hardly sounds calm to-”
>”Save it, Rarity.”
>Rarity scowls and turns her nose up, turning to face anywhere but Rainbow.
>>
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>>25659693
“I assure you that I am well. Though I thank you for your concern.”
>”Well that’s a lie if ever I heard one,” Applejack comments offhandedly. The remark draws your gaze.
>She grins at you knowingly as she notices the slight shift of your helm. “Ain’t nobody here doin’ well, I can guarantee ya that. I’m willin ta bet each of us is shakin’ in their boots at least a little.”
>Rainbow maintains her silence.
>”I’ll admit, the circumstances are getting to me a little bit,” Twilight says. “I’ve never encountered anything like Nightmare before. It’s… unnerving to be dealing with such a powerful being.”
>”That’s a bit of an understatement,” Fluttershy all but squeaks.
“There is no shame in that, the feeling is the same the tenth time as it is the first,” you say.
>”Have you encountered something like Nightmare before?” Rarity asks.
For a moment you simply try to organize your thoughts. “Yes, many times, but the specifics are lost to me. I recall beings of immeasurable power with souls shining like stars. I recall the fear I felt as I battled each one. I recall the pain of my failures.”
>You note the looks of apprehension the others favor you with and grimace inwardly. To dwell on the negative is counterproductive. You cannot afford to lose hope.
“But with allies at my side I overcame each one. I recall that there was no wall that determination could not break down. Eventually every barrier fell before us.”
>But at what price? How many lives will this victory cost?
>”When you regain your memories I’d love to hear the stories of your adventures,” Fluttershy says.
>A weary smile comes to your face at her words.
“Should that time come I will tell you all you desire to hear.”
>”What do you remember?” This comes from Rainbow.
>>
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>>25659730
>You close your eyes and try to force the scattered fragments of memory to arrange themselves in an order that makes sense.
“I remember a fading flame and a looming darkness. I remember a quest with no end. I remember enemies at my fore and brothers at my side.”
>And you lost every single one.
>”Were they… like you?” Rainbow asks.
“Undead? Yes. We wandered as moths to a flame in search of a way to escape our fate.”
>”Did you find one?”
>Here you hesitate. Had you?
>Only vague concepts remain of your quest. It is as though you’re trying to watch the events of your past through a dense fog. Save for the odd parting of the mist, only shadows and echoes remain of your time spent in the land of ancient lords.
>All but that one shining, burning sun.
>A tired sigh presages your words.
“We flew too close to the flame and our wings burned in anguish.”
>Only anxious silence answers you. None of your companions make a sound.
“There is no release from this curse,” you say in nearly a whisper. “We could only halt its spread.”
>Twilight casts a glance your way. “You found a vaccination, not a cure.”
“Something like that. I only remember that we did not find what we sought.”
>>
>>25659760
>”But surely that must have been some manner of victory,” Rarity insists. “You ensured that no one else would fall victim to that terrible curse.”
“Aye, in the end it was more than I had any right to expect.”
>”What happened to your friends?”
>Rainbow’s question catches you off guard and the hitch in your breath serves as a better answer than you could have given with words.
>You notice a few of the group cast disapproving looks Rainbow’s way, though she pays them no mind and keeps her gaze directed into the forest before you.
>”You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to,” Twilight quickly says. “If it’s too touchy of a subject we understand.”
“I couldn’t say much of what befell them, truthfully. I remember little of their fates.”
>Only that none of their stories ended well.
>”What about Priscilla?”
>”Rainbow!”
“It’s alright, Twilight. After my quest was completed I stayed with Priscilla because she was all I had left. I wasted away in her painted world for ten years, slowly going hollow. She could not bear to watch that happen and so sent me here in the hopes that I would find a purpose for myself and so resist the curse a while longer. She still remains there, I imagine.”
>>
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>>25659792
That's it for this year. Updated paste: http://pastebin.com/7txGL3k2
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>>25659856

Odd. So what you wrote was just a continuation of the first chapter? Felt finished to me, but whatever. Hope to see you post some more eventually.
>>
>>25613761

http://pastebin.com/u/Pseudocracy

kissing booth. Somewhat lazy ending, but overall not bad. IIRC it started as a fun 1-shot, so don't mind the first chapter too much.
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>>25619806
>>
>>25659792
Good to see you are continuing the story.
More when?
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Old writefag here. I want to start writing for y'all again, but I want to know something before I start putting time into it.

Would it be alright if I posted the story in third person from time to time? I'm just testing the water to make sure it won't be ignored if it isn't completely in 2nd person. I remember when I came around regularly in the past there were some anons and even a few tripfags that were too hard on some decent stuff because of this.

>tfw the ride never ends
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>>25660873
I think the time has passed when people stopped caring about that kind of crap. First, second, or even third, so long as it's story time for our eyes we'll read your green.
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Alright. Storytime. Something You'd Regret. Let's get some Love Pony in here.

Prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/189816/something-youd-regret
1: http://pastebin.com/z92nhVKV
2: http://pastebin.com/35aUT0jz
3: http://pastebin.com/G28qNx3X
4: http://pastebin.com/e783sJFn
5: http://pastebin.com/DUA7hHVC
6: http://pastebin.com/NmuZi269
~~~
>Cadance looked indescribable.
>The dress seemed to bring out every one of her most beautiful, delicate features.
>The smile she wore framed the entirety of her blushed face, which was done in gentle pinks to bring out the deep violets in her eyes.
>You could sense a feeling of carefree joy in the picture, that sort of joy when there's no other worries in the world that could have possibly plagued her mind at the moment and wouldn't for the rest of that night.
>The lights were down and every single pony in the picture watched in awe at her.
>And him.
>Her husband.
>Shining.
>You take careful steps down the hall, holding the box of photos with your crutched hand, while looking at the photo with your free hand.
>She's so happy.
>While you hadn't noticed it at first, you carefully used your thumb to cover up Shining in the picture.
>Maybe there would be some sort of chance to help her get back to that after all of this is done.
>With a sigh, your arm falls to your side as you make your way away from Twilight's room.
>All of this has been such a massive tax on her.
>Hopefully now that you've got Shining's photos, they'll help her case.
>Then, it's just a matter of getting the divorce finalized.
>However, the real win is getting Shining to admit to cheating.
>If he does that, then the two of you don't need any sort of pictures.
>He'll willingly give himself up and drift away into the background.
>She'll be happy.
>You'll be happy.
>And all of this will get to have a happy ending.
>You smile at the thought.
>Yeah.
>Things will be great after all of this is over.
1/14
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>>25661076
>There'd be all the mornings the two of you would be able to wake up beside each other.
>The late nights the two of you could spend in the garden.
>The 'detours' from political journeys to see the sites of faraway and exotic lands.
>Of course... there'd also be a wedding.
>Your grip on the picture of her in a gown tightens.
>Does that count as bad luck?
>Seeing a picture of a bride's previous wedding?
>Oh goodness, what's her family like?
>Does she have family other than Princess Celestia or Princess Luna?
>A part of you pauses, and breaks your haze of consciousness to stare forward and ask yourself an important question.
>It's totally not weird for a guy to freak out and mentally plan a future wedding... is it?
>...
>Nah.
>Of course not.
>And if so, then screw being normal.
>The cake would need to be amazing, but you're sure Cadance probably has connections for that.
>Of course there would need to be a decorator... but well, Princess connections.
>Uh. You guess the castle would be the best place for it to be.
>Maybe you wouldn't have that much to actually plan.
>You tilt your head up as you saunter, pondering to yourself what you could contribute.
>Well, you can stand around and look pretty.
>Aw yeah.
>That's one.
>You could... invite people!
>Yeah!
>Number one on the list would be-
>And then, the unexpected jab to the gut.
>Guilt.
>The pain radiates through your body and slows you down.
>Twilight.
>If she'd go.
>She probably hates you now, because of all of this.
>You were the final wedge to drive her brother and his wife apart.
>That's not the kind of thing that you just 'forgive'.
>At least, not right away.
>But, a deeper part of you feels hurt for another reason you can't put your finger on.
>Why were you so upset that you wouldn't see Twilight again?
>Sure, she was your best friend...
>And the two of you hung out all the time.
>And went on amazing, unforgettable journeys together through reading books.
2/14
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>>25661087
>And spent more than a few late nights counting the stars.
>But, it was all just friend stuff.
>The only love you've felt, heck... ever truly felt... was this.
>There was something about Cadance that was absolutely perfect.
>She had absolutely no flaws, no drawbacks, no negative qualities that put her in a bad light.
>Whatever struggles you would face in life, you felt you could work through them with her.
>For her.
>But the idea of being left alone by Twilight?
>Forever?
>You blink your eyes and clear your throat, taking care of the weird mist in your vision.
>It's fine.
>Twilight's just a friend.
>You love Cadance.
>As you approach the door to your and Cadance's room, you begin to wonder how her journey went.
>Was she successful with speaking with Celestia about the divorce?
>If she was able to get it approved by Celestia, or even approved if we can provide evidence, then this would all be over.
>The two of you could be together, officially.
>Of course, the press would have a field day with it, and some wouldn't approve.
>But, the good news is that there aren't any kids involved.
>At least there's that.
>Placing your free hand on the door, you open it in your own careful, gimpy way and step inside.
"Hey, Babe!" you call out.
>But, there's no reply.
>The room was empty and left precisely the way you left it.
>The bed was still unkempt.
>The closets were still open and had evidence of being thoroughly searched.
>Wine Bottles were still in the trashcan, mixed with used tissues.
>And the large dent in the wall was still the centerpiece of the room.
>With a sigh, you make your way towards the bed to sit down.
>The last thing you'd like to do is keep standing.
>A dull throb radiated in waves up your leg the longer that you stood.
>But, you did what you had to do.
>You have all the pictures now.
>At least, all the ones you could find.
>If Shining took or hid some... well, there's not much you could have done.
3/14
>>
>>25661106
>Placing a hand on the sheets of the bed, you ease yourself around and recline on the angel-soft mattress where you held your love.
>Closing your eyes, you can faintly smell that aroma of flowers that was on her mane, and the way that her fur felt against your skin.
>And the way her lips felt against yours.
>You chuckle at the thought, bringing your hand to your lips and laying back on the bed.
>And soon, you'd be able to relish those sensations everyday.
>It's hard to believe that it's all been in such little time.
>But, you suppose that's how these things happen.
>You meet someone in passing from a friend one day, not even thinking twice about it.
>Then, next thing you know, a spark forms and then the two end up dating.
>Everything was completely natural.
>Why, just yesterday-
>And then you stare at the ceiling, cutting yourself off again.
>Wait a minute.
>You sit up.
>Just yesterday, you weren't thinking about her at all.
>Not even in the slightest.
>Much less romantically.
>You look down at your hands.
>In a single day, you're going to give you're whole life to a mare?
>Somehow, you don't feel particularly worried about that.
"Wait a minute..."
>You look up around the room, trying to think critically for a second.
"What do I know about Cadance?" you ask yourself.
>Well, for starters, she's a Princess.
>Looking to the side of your bed, you see the pictures that she wanted you to find.
>Opening the box you flip through to see the many assorted pictures of Shining and his family, but none of Cadance.
>Putting the wedding photo in the box, you mentally inventory the next piece of info.
>She's married.
>For now.
>Looking around the room, you realize that there's almost nothing here to give you any clues about who she is.
>You don't know what she does in her free time.
>You have no idea what she likes and dislikes.
>You don't know about her past.
>You don't know about her family.
>All you know is that she's a Princess and likes wine.
4/14
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>>25661121
>Some kind of wine.
>Which isn't a lot to go off of, since the different types of wine that exist might as well be different countries in the world, since you have no idea what differences are for some of them.
>No, this was a huge deal.
>A warmth spread through your body as you took a deep breath.
>Well, there would certainly be a ton of time to get to know each other better after all of this is over, right?
>It wouldn't be in secret or behind anyone's back.
>So, it would be healthy and totally not cheating.
>And, if down the line you found something that you didn't like about her, or her spell was wrong... then the two of you could always break up, right?
>No matter what, this wedding is bad for her and is doing her harm.
>Getting her out of this terrible situation is the correct, gentlemanly thing to do.
>And, any sort of benefits that you may reap from it are purely incidental.
>Besides, there's no reason to worry that all of this has happened in a day.
>You pause, staring at a wall for a second.
>Wait a minute.
>Why -wasn't there- anything to worry about all of this happening in a day?
>That's literally one of the biggest things to worry about.
>Romeo and Juliet from that one book did the whole 'Love at First Sight' deal and ended up dead.
>And you're allergic to dead.
>Once again, some sort of warmth filled you and the thought just seemed to push itself out of your mind.
>All you could do was think about Cadance.
>If she was around, you knew that everything was going to be okay.
>You could just feel it.
>Just then, the door to the room opened to the sound of hushed, familiar voices.
>You listened carefully and were just able to make out what felt like closing remarks.
>"You realize that my Sister and I will be speaking with Shining Armor about all of this," says a low motherly voice.
>"Yes. Of course. Naturally," Cadance says
5/14
>>
>>25661136
>"Divorce is very serious. No Princess has ever done something like this before. However, if your marriage has truly become as bad as you describe..."
>The door is pushed open wider and there is a long, silent pause.
>"That is where he smashed the human," Cadance says.
>"So we've come to realize," said a younger, but more regal tone.
>With a gasp, all of your muscles tensed.
>It's the Princesses.
>"Where is Anonymous now?" Celestia asks.
>"I'm not sure. Keeping quiet, I think," Cadance replied.
>"I see. He will need to remain quiet until everything is officiated."
>"Even then, the media will be all over you," Luna adds.
>"I understand, but that's something we will have to endure," Cadance says.
>"Well, then. There's nothing more to be said. If you provide us proof or he admits that your story is true, then we will proceed with the annulment," Celestia says. "Until then, Luna and I have much to think over."
>"Thank you. Both of you. So much," Cadance says as quiet hoofsteps echo out of hearing distance.
>A silent moment passes as Cadance stays outside, holding the door open, but not looking inside the room to see you.
>She sighs and steps in with a solemn expression etched on her face.
"Hey," you call out, sitting back up.
>Her head rises, and the alicorn's eyes lock to yours.
>The frown on her face runs a full array of emotions from shock, to surprise, to pure glee from seeing you.
>"Hey there!" she replies. "Did you just hear all of that?"
"Just the last part, I think. The important part. Sounds like you've gotten the clear."
>"Yeah! So it seems. We just need Shining to cooperate, I guess," she says with a sigh. "Did you find the pictures?"
>You proudly hold up the box.
>She gasps and gallops up to you, taking the box with her magic.
>"How did you get this without anypony noticing?" she asks.
"Well, uh, about that. He kinda... let it happen."
>She gives you a weird look before opening the box and pulling out the pictures.
6/14
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>>25661146
"The one he was trying to hide was the one on top. He really didn't want to let it go."
>Grabbing the first picture, she turns it up to face her.
>Cadance's pupils shrink and her whole body seems to sag, as if she was suddenly stabbed in the chest.
>"Oh," she says defeatedly. "This one, huh?"
>She pushes it to the back and begins to look through the others.
>A silence fills the room as you try to mentally process the amount of pain that she just tried to hide from you.
>You open your mouth to say something, but find your voice dry.
>She doesn't spend long on each picture, but sniffs when she gets halfway through the list.
>You could tell when she reached the end of the list, when she repressed the same, strained look and shoved them all back into the box.
>"That was all you found?" she asked quietly.
>You nod, unsure of how else you should react.
>"I see. Well, it wasn't there. The photo," she said with a sniff.
>She made her way closer to you and crawls up on the bed by you.
>Cadance looks up at you and shakes her head, forcing a smile onto her lips.
>"Heh. Look at me. I'm a mess."
>She brings a hoof to her eyes and dabs them, trying not to look you in the eye.
>"For some reason, I thought all of this would be easy. Well, easier. Because-"
>But she stops herself short and looks to the floor.
>Raising a hand, you place it on her back and gently stroke her fur up and down from the base of her neck, to where her wings began.
"Hey, this is hard for everybody... it's okay," you say, trying to help.
>She looks up at you with a smile, but her eyes return to the floor.
>"Right, I know. Just. I dunno. I'm not sure how to say everything I'm feeling, I guess."
>A silence falls between the two of you as her head reclines to the mattress.
>Your hand finds it's way up her neck and into her mane, placing her tiara aside.
7/14
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>>25661159
Come drink with us in the call you butt
>>
>>25661159
"I don't... honestly know how to help," you say. "I mean, if I knew how to... I would. In a heartbeat... but, I know I can tell you how I feel. If you wanna hear it."
>Her eyes make their way up to you, but she doesn't say a word.
>Your hand moves down to her rosy-pink cheek.
"That you're strong, wise and beautiful. I'd do absolutely anything for you, should you simply ask. I have total confidence and faith that we'll get through this. No matter how hard it may get. I'm here for you and I always will."
>You chuckle to yourself and look down.
"You know, I know I said this morning that I just wanted to give this a chance, but I suppose I was just trying to be modest."
>Swallowing the nervousness that built in your throat, you take a deep breath.
"I love you, Cadance," you say, looking into her eyes.
>A smile unfurls on her face as she raises herself closer to you.
>Her eyes close and your stomach leaps to your throat.
>Then, your lips connect and a spark in your heart morphs into a burning fire of compassion.
>Your eyes close as you feel a hoof wrap around the back of your head.
>Wrapping your free arm around her, you run a hand through her mane, pulling her in closer as your lips close and reconnect with a wet kissing sound.
>A joy wells inside of you, knowing what this surely meant.
>No words needed to be said.
>She loved you too.
>She'd been waiting so long for this moment to finally go from a fantasy, to being real.
>Cadance was yours.
>And you were all hers.
>The alicorn broke the kiss and leaned back, her ears perked.
>"Well," she began with a giggle. "I think this calls for a celebration, don't you think?"
"Sounds like a great plan to me, got anything in mind?" she asked.
>"How about," she says, rising from the bed. "We get out of here and spend some time away from all of this drama? Start with a bar or two and see where the night takes us?"
"Hey! That sounds great to me. Lead the way."
8/14
>>
>>25661178
>You grab your crutch and carefully ease yourself up, while Cadance moves to the closet.
>Once you have your balance, you look over to her to see she pulls out a small bag and places it over her back.
"Bringing something?" you ask.
>"Why, yes," she says moving to her dresser and opening one of the drawers.
>Carefully, she pulls out that same bottle from earlier and places it into her bag.
"Won't they have drinks -at- the bar?" you ask teasingly.
>"Well, I don't suppose you have many bits on you, do you?" she teases.
>You check your pockets to find them completely empty.
"O-oh. Right."
>She snickers at your display and gives you a warm smile.
>"Don't worry. I'll cover it. I just figure we might as well save the money."
"Hey, that works for me," you reply.
>She stops to take a look at herself in the mirror as you grab her tiara from the bed.
"Oh, did you want this?"
>Cadance turns to examine the tiara and thinks for a moment.
>"You know what? I don't think so. In fact," she says, kicking off her special shoes. "Let's keep it casual."
>Tossing the tiara on the bed, you continue to hobble over to her.
"Sounds good. I'm not sure if I ever saw you without the whole 'royal getup' before."
>"Really?" she asks, taking off her necklace. "Spoilers. I'm still a pony."
>You mock a gasp of shock, which makes her smile.
>"Alright. I'm ready. Are you- Oh right. Your leg," she says, looking at your injury.
"Hey, I don't mind walking. Really," you say.
>"Oh, no. there's no sense in going on a long walk. Let's inform a guard that I'm leaving, and then teleport there."
"Inform a guard?" you ask.
>"Well, I'm still a Princess," she says, walking up to you and placing your hand on her back. "The guard needs to know where I am, or they go into a panic. The Princess Balcony isn't too far, let's just tell the guard stationed there, and we should be able head there immediately.
>Following along is slow and arduous, but on the bright side, Cadance got all of the doors for you.
9/14
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>>25661178
>Once you stepped into the hall, the conversation fell quiet.
>You took quiet, occasional glances at Cadance, but she seemed deep in thought.
>It was almost as if she were in some sort of trance or autopilot.
"Is everything alright?" you ask.
>Her concentration breaks and looks up to you.
>"Oh! Uhm, yes. I was just really wondering where the picture of Melody went."
"Melody?"
>Cadance faltered, looking for a way to respond while still focusing on what was in front of her.
>"Yes, the mare Shining cheated with."
"How do you know the name of-"
>"He said it in his sleep," she interrupted.
"Oh. I see. Uhm. Sorry."
>Great job, Anon.
>Now you've upset her.
>You alternate glances between the floor, the opposite wall, and Cadance's face, simply in an effort not to stare.
"Hey, uh. Sorry for dredging that up."
>"It's fine," she said with a sigh. "It'll all be over soon. I hope."
>The silence filled the hall again as you limped beside her.
>Something was on her mind.
>You knew it.
>The way her ears were partially folded, the lack of life in her tail, the lack of spring in her step.
>If she was so ready to celebrate and enjoy the benefits of their hard work, why did she seem so sad?
>She turned to look at you, but then focused back in her trance.
>Her lip quivers, like she wants to say something, but can't bring herself to.
>The Princess's eyes move to the ground as the two of you begin to approach the final turn to the balcony of the stadium.
>"Anon..."
"Yeah, babe?"
>She starts to say something, but stops and shakes her head.
>A quiet moment passes in silence before she rose her head and slowed her pace.
>"You'll... still be with me. After all of this, right?" she asks.
"Of course I will, Hon. There's no way I'd leave you."
>She looks back at you, a forced expression of calm trying to cover the silent tells of insecurity.
>"Even... Even if something happens after all of this, you wouldn't leave me all alone?"
>You smile and pull her closer to you.
10/14
>>
>>25661203
"Nothing could ever pull us apart. You're stuck with me, babe," you reply with a warm smile.
>She chuckles, looking away.
>"I hope so."
>She hopes so?
>What's that supposed to mean?
>Why is she acting so strangely all of a sudden?
>Maybe it's all just delayed feelings from all of the troubles of today?
>Yeah, maybe that's it.
>She'll feel better once she let's loose a little bit.
>Turning the corner, her entire posture changes.
>She stands tall and firm.
>Each step becomes calculated and even distanced, and her expression is rock solid.
>Even without her regalia, her mannerisms echoed and maintained that of a Princess.
>She locked onto a guard and almost pulls you towards him.
>"Good Evening," she says to the soldier as you approach.
>"Good Evening, Princess Cadance. Will you be watching the final games of the evening?" the guard asked.
>"No, I don't believe so. I'll be spending some time in town with my human friend, Anonymous."
>"I see, thank you for the update, Princess. I'll forward it to the rest of the guard."
>"Please do so," she responded. "Also, what was that place that the guard tends to congregate at?"
>He looks at her curiously.
>"Why, it's Honeycrisp's Pub down on tenth. Some of the best ciders and wheat ales in town."
>"Thank you so much, I believe that is where I will make my first stop."
>"Would you like for us to send some security there to-"
>"There will be no need, thank you sir for all of your work," she said with a smile.
>Then, as soon as you felt a light blue aura of magic surround you and you looked to Cadance, the world went black.

~~~

>And new colors filled your vision in an instant.
>It was just as if someone flickered the lights in a room with no windows.
>Except, the entirety of the room changed in the seconds that it turned to light.
>"There! Piece of cake," Cadance said. "Feeling alright?"
"Uh... yeah."
>You looked over your body and took a mental inventory.
>Everything seemed to be in it's proper place.
11/14
>>
>>25661214
>You had your crutch, your clothes, your leg was broken, but that's nothing new.
>What was new, was that in front of you stood a rather large tavern with several stallions smoking tobacco outside.
>"This is the place," she said.
"Looks nice enough. You know, a good place to start the night."
>"Sort of my thought exactly."
>The Princess took careful, deliberate steps forward and you followed her.
>Her vision still remained focused and didn't move from the door.
>She opened it with her magic, and you stepped inside behind her.
>The inside of the bar was simple enough.
>Several booths lined the walls of establishment along with several large tables in the middle where stallions played cards or simply drank in groups of friends.
>And of course, there was a long bar where griffins, ponies and diamond dogs alike all mingled and discussed the results of the day's games.
>Only a few eyes rose to examine the two of you as she made her way to the bar.
>You followed along beside her, immediately spotting a table near the door where it wouldn't be as hard for you to walk around in.
>As you headed towards the back, you noticed in the back that there were several doors, at least two or three that had signs marking 'vacancy' or 'no vacancy.'
>Interesting, they must use this place like an Inn as well.
>With all of the games, you're sure they must be making a killing.
>"Sir, may I have two glasses, please?" Cadance asked to the barkeep.
>A disgruntled crystal stallion looked up, baffled by the request, but his tone changed quickly at seeing the Princess.
>"Well. Now I'm used to serving Royal Guards, but never Royal-TY," he said. "Just two glasses?"
>"For now, thank you," she said.
>Cadance turned to you and gave you a smile.
>"Dear, won't you find a booth in the back where we can talk a little privately?"
>You nod, turning towards the booths in the back and limping towards them.
>There was one tucked right in the corner of the bar.
12/14
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>>25661007
Good to know, that puts my mind at ease some. Well here's hoping I can put out then kek

I left at halfway through season 4 to git gud, so needless to say I've got some catching up to do.
>>
>>25661223
>But, it was in just the right spot that you could see the door, in case Shining decided to use some guard power and change his mind about being kind to you.
>As you approach, you notice it's even clean, except has the usual wobble that a well-worn table at an older establishment would have.
>Reclining into the booth, you set your crutch on the ground to finally get a moment to rest your foot.
>Finally, a little peace and quiet.
>And you get to spend it with Cadance.
>What could possibly be better.
>Speaking of, the Princess wasn't too far behind.
>Holding two glass mugs with her magic, she sets one on the table in front of you and one across the table.
"There we go! Now this is more like it. No stressful stadiums. No hard decisions. Just a little time to relax and get your mind off of things."
>She nods silently, taking off her bag and setting it on her bench of the booth.
>Cadance sat in her seat and looked at her glass carefully, studying it for what seemed like an answer to a question on her mind.
>You sat up straight and looked at her.
"Listen, I know I probably shouldn't... but something's really bothering you ever since we left the room. Is everything alright, babe?"
>She looked up at you, then down to her glass.
"Cadance?" you ask again.
>"It's just..."
>Her hoof trembles as she raises it into the air, then wraps it back around her glass.
>"Have you ever had the feeling that you're making a terrible mistake? But you feel like it's the only option you have left?" she asks without looking up from her glass.
>You look at her with concern.
"What do you mean?"
>She opens her mouth, then shakes her head, opting not to say a word.
"Listen, if it's about the divorce. He was cheating on you. You know he did. You have proof he did. You'd just be miserable if you stayed with him."
>She remained silent and didn't respond.
"I know it's going to be hard, but just try to not think about it. You know this is for the greater good, right?"
13/14
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>>25661237
>Then, she raises her head.
>That struck a chord.
>She looked you in the eyes, with a weary, tired look.
>"Anon, I..."
>She shakes her head and her horn lights up with magic, pulling the bottle out of the bag and placing it on the table in front of you.
>"You're right. I should just try to not think about it."
>You smile as she hastily pours the contents of the bottle into the two glasses.
"That's the spirit!" you reply.
>Grabbing the drink, you raise it into the air to propose a toast.
>She looks at the pink fluid in her mug for just a moment, then raises hers into the air with magic.
"To the first night, of a brand new life," you say with a smile.
>Cadance smiles weakly as the two glasses make a light clink.
>Then a much louder bang echoes through the bar.
>"Anon!"
>You and Cadance turn your head simultaneously.
>The purple alicorn bursts into the bar and scans the room quickly.
"Twilight?" you asked in disbelief.
>Her head whips to you immediately.
>She gasps, then shoots a bright purple bolt of magic directly at you.

14/14

Paste: http://pastebin.com/1JUpiRek

Just a Finale and an Epilogue left. Hopefully I can break my streak of bad endings.
>>
>>25613761
>What's a good anonxrainbowdash story?
Not anon, but Xenophilia is a great human x rainbow. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/27874/xenophilia
>>
Is there a setting on pastebin for white text, black background?
>>
>>25661829
That would be lovely. That white background is hard to stare at when it hits nighttime. I don't want to go from one page to a pastebin then having it blast me with full on white. Nearly mistook it for Tom Hanks with how white it was.Screw that hullabaloo.
>>
>>25661829
>>25661903
You can use the magnifier tool in Windows to invert your whole screen.
>>
>>25661829
All I can give you is having an iPad and triple clicking that home button. That's what I do and all I know.
>>
>>25613761

umm..

For Lack of a Better Word on fimfiction. Rest are shitty self inserts or have a very OOC dash.

All the others I can think of are clop fic pastebins:

Non rainbro ones I guess are:

http://pastebin.com/xxLgdJ8b

http://pastebin.com/aAWQSbL0

Got a whole folder of greens and pastes for each pony but not all the links sadly.
>>
Got any spots for a new story in here?
>>
>>25662453
If you've got a story, then feel free to post. Your road is clear.
>>
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>>25662453
>>
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>>25662453
You do not ask to post stories here, anon. You simply post.
>>
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>>25661829
>>25661903
>>25661941
>>25661955
I can't remember where I picked this up from, but you can use this: https://userstyles.org/styles/101893/midnight-pastebin-by-sirbrian-dark-pastebin
You need to install Stylish, which is a website theme add-on thing for Firefox and Chrome/Chromium (there's a link on the page).
>Pic related is a screenshot of how Pastebin looks on my laptop with it.
>>
>>25662476
Him and the stealth general were my favorites to play as.
>>
>>25662453

>Well, this sure was something.
>The Grand Galloping Gala, they called it.
>An annual event to celebrate the completion of Canterlot.
>Some of the biggest talent in all of Equestria attended it.
>Talent ranging from art, culinary, music, anything you could imagine.
>And Luckily enough, you were a part of it.
>You, Anonymous, a human.
>The Princess, Celestia, saw this as an opportunity to make you know about the household names in Equestria.
>And as far as you can tell, this event definetely deserved it's name.
>You walked around to get familiar with the place.
>Now you knew that the place had a VIP section, a Music hall, a garden and a high quality bar.
>You landed in the music hall, with no artists on the stage yet, oddly enough.
>Looking around, there appears to be not alot of ponies due to it being quite early.
>There was a piano there, maybe you should go ahead and give it a little attention, huh?

(Continue? a bit mushy at the end, sorry about that.)
>>
>>25662841
Don't ask to continue after the first post. Keep rolling.
>>
>>25661269
If only he had picked a less faggoty ass name.

However, that is one of the only stories where the protagonist doesn't go full autism and start calling Rainbow "Dashie" so it gets a plus there. My seething rage for people who do that knows no bounds because the character instantly goes from being relatable to being a sperglord who thinks that calling others by pet names in public is in any way sociably acceptable or attractive.

Pet names are a shit.
>>
>>25663171
Relax Spergie.
>>
>>25662841
>You go on the stage, walking around the instruments to look at the quality.
>It didnt surprise at you this point, obtaining pianos at that quality must cost a fortune.
>The keys were so clean you could almost see your reflection on them, same thing goes for the lid.
>You looked around again to see if somepony was about to stop you, which isn't the case.
>You grin and sit down in front of the piano, placing your fingers onto the keys.
>You took classes a few years back, so at least what they'll hear won't be trash.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfYl6_f2Mdg

>Surprisingly enough, some ponies gathered around the music hall to listen to your play.
>It was a small number, but that didn't matter to you. Just pleasing one would be enough.
>In fact, you liked the attention.
>But one of them in particular was giving you quite the stare with her violet depths.
>Perfectly brushed hair and and a purple bowtie to compliment her light grey fur along with her eyes.
>You noticed the cutie mark on her flank, she probably must be a musician.
>Wait, was she one of the artists to play here?
>That would probably explain the scowl she's sending.
>But behind it, lies a sense of curiousity to your playing.
>You kept going until one of the guards came around to stop you, requesting you to get off the stage immediately.
>You oblige and hop down, feeling a tad awkward from the stares and few claps you were given.
>You bow down and thank them, before going to the bar in front of you.
>And until you were out of her field of vision, she kept her eyes on you.
>Finally, you reach the bar and sit down in front of the counter, the bartender ordering some bottles.
>"What can I get for you, sir?"
>>
>>25663171
>Be Anon
>Hanging out with your ponybros
>There's Twily, Dashie, Ponka, Jackie, Spikey, Flutters, and Rarararararararara
>You've been playing mario cart
>So far Ponka's winning because she keeps using the fucking blue shell
>The cunt
>>
>>25663572
i'll probably continue tomorrow, don't want to burn out of fatigue
>>
>>25660873
I know who you are.
>>
>>25664879
>>25665324
If you're gonna bump at least post a picture you mongoloid.
>>
>>25653947
Thanks a bunch, anon!
>>
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>>25665323
I want to snuggle up in biglestia's mane
>>
>>25665725
Prettiest pony. Too bad her threads are shite.
>>
I was working on a story in some thread and the thread died as soon as I got on.

I would like to finish it here if that's okay with anybody?

http://pastebin.com/p36JkaPh
Basically a semi-comedic story about Anon being a zombie. I was going to expand a story upon it but like I said...thread died.

Only if nobody minds though, I would hate to intrude.
>>
>>25665922
see >>25662476
If it has both anon and equestria, it fits in this thread. Some anons may get butthurt because it includes a thing they don't like (hi antiTF faggot), but AiE is AiE.
>>
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>>25665922
Story about a zombie Anon and the thread dies. That's funny. Go ahead, why didn't you post it here to begin with?
>>
>>25661076
Is that Bleedman?
>>25664071
No worries, though keep going please.
>>
>>25665949
TF is fucking shiiiiiiiiiit.
>>
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>>25665964
u'r waifu a shit
>>
>>25665949
Ah, okay.

>>25665958
I know right? Respectable Irony. The thread was a prompt, a half-assed one but still a prompt. I thought I could do something interesting out of it so I turned it into a zombie-story.

Should I namefag? I'm fairly new to this thread.
>>
>>25665994
name isn't required, but if you plan on sticking around it can be handy for general recognition of what works are yours.
>>
>>25665994
Does your ego need a name?
>>
>>25665949
>You will never take Anonfilly from his home in the middle of the night.
>You will never take him to your shack in the forest.
>You will never call him out on all the bullshit he put you through while he was human.
>You will never grab him around the middle.
>He will never struggle uselessly in your grasp.
>You will never ram your dick so far up his asshole that it ruptures internal organs.
>You will never fuck him to death.

>Next time don't eat all the cereal and put the empty box back in the cupboard you dingus.
>>
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>>25666051
>>
>>25666051
Fuck that little shit.
>>
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>>25665922
>>25666003
Alright, I'm going to give it a shot.

> ...
> ...
> Eh...
> Things could be worse.
> You open your eyes, the first thing you noticed was the rays of sun filtering through the water.
> Woah.
> You hadn't realized just how deep this pond had been from your previous descent.
> The sounds of bubbling water took your hearing.
> You shift, knocking up a cloud of dirt in the process.
> You flick your eyes downwards and glance back up above.
> Some small fish made company among a couple of…
> Fillies and foals playing above the water.
> Should you scare them?
> Hmmm…
> You push yourself upright and kick off of the floor.
> You kick out your legs and begin moving towards them silently.
> A muffled playful shriek greeted your ears as you came closer.
> You glance over.
> A single colt in a floatie tube.
> Him.
> Something about his not-yet-seen face just pissed you off.
> You grin maliciously to yourself once more.

> “Hmmm”
> The chubby colt kicked around in his floatie, watching the others play freely.
> He huffed and rested briefly.
> “Eh, things could be worse.”
> Suddenly the water burst upwards in a column behind him.
> Time seemed to move in slow-motion as he whirled around to face…
> You had your arms thrown out as you leapt forwards from the water, your tongue flopping out from you smiling mouth like Shag on crack.
> You wonder what response this would garner.
> The colt didn't even scream.
> Instead he just said a jumble of noises as his eyes went blank.
> For a brief second the blue-screen of death appeared in his eyes before he just flopped to the water, unconscious.
> Your smile turned to a frown as you bobbed in your place.
> That was….
> Underwhelming…
> Why was it so silent?
> You turn your head to the left.
> Oh…
> It was the park you had dropped into.
> The others playing in the water stared at you silently, followed by some older ponies sitting at benches or just taking walks.
> Just how long had you been under?
>>
>line 62 from http://pastebin.com/p8N9gkAF
>that 4th wall
>>
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>>25666069
> You fold your arms over your chest.
“Huh...”
> You had expected more of a reaction after you had clawed your way from the water.
> Something more dramatic maybe?
> Shouldn't this not-so-much life be all about drama or something close to that?
> “AIIEEE!”
> There it is.
> You watched things go from a steady calm to collective shit in under seconds.
> The fillies and colts playing in the water scrambled out while the others watching them shrieked and shouted.
> Within seconds everybody was scrambling around and about, all while shouting things about you.
> “I thought it was over with!”
> “It's impossible!”
> “Tame the beast!”
> What?
> What were they flipping out about?
> You paddle yourself towards the shallow edges of the pound.
> As soon as your feet hit resistance you pick yourself out of the water.
> The heat of day hit your back as you stomp out of the water and shake it off.
> Hmm…
> You adjust your shades and scratch your head.
“Well shit.”
> “Bawk!”
> You glance down at your leg, the same chicken as before clucking at your feet.
> You could tell through your zombie-sense or something…
> You scoop it up and place it back on your shoulder.
> You should return this thing to Fluttershy.
“How'd you sleep?”
> It clucked in response.
“Eh, mine was okay.”
> You already began to move away from the pond.
“What's your name?”
> No response.
“Eh, a little shy around the undead that's-”
> You stop and glance over your shoulder.
> A couple of braver stallions were gathering at the side of the pond, shouting among eachother.
> They scrambled around the pond and began galloping towards you.
> You look to the chicken.
“Well shit.”
> Maybe they wanted to play.
> Oh hey one of them had a spear.
> Why would they use a spear to-
> SHINK.
> You lurch in your spot as the golden spear jutted through your abdomen.
> So that's why they had spears.
>>
>>25666113
Welp, got all but two posts out before being called in for work.
Sorry for bothering you guys with the story and I would love to get more of it out, but I basically work all day. I doubt this is going to get any real traction.
>>
>>25666273
Write more when you get home.
Or else.
>>
I've posted here before, but I never finished my green with Anon due to feeling anxiety over the quality of my work. That was in October. It's December now, I got over it a little, and I've had the ending of my greentext written for weeks, but I don't know if I should post from the beginning of my green or what. Advice would be extremely appreciated.
>>
>>25666299
Just post it.
We love you, don't leave us again.
>>
>>25666299
Post your pastebin and then pick up where you left off, that's how things usually roll.
>>
>>25666299
Post pastebin and say you're continuing from line X.
>>
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>>25666307
Really? I normally just poop in my hand and throw it at whatever upset me.
>>
>>25666322
You'll fit right in then.
>>
>>25666307
>>25666320
Thanks senpai

>>25666306
Y-you too
>>
>>25666325
Oops, wrong thread. Sorry about that.
>>
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>>25666333
posting from where pastebin left off: http://pastebin.com/gNGpcKzD

>Your body flexes every single muscle in your body and releases your juices as you scream from the force of the electrifying pleasure of ultimate climax.
>The orgasm doesn’t stop and it only gets better and better.
>You are no longer on Equestria, but a world of dots, colors, and sensations.
>Sensations of even the lightest things that make you convulse from everything.
>The semi-formed nub of your horn blasts out bursts of almost liquid-like magic, and your eyes roll up as far as they can go, almost as if the force of cumming so violently pushes them that hard.
>Your screams become incoherent, and (sadly) the world of euphoria and climax starts to fade.
>You lay on your bed, panting like you ran with Anon for days straight.
>You look down at your hoof resting on top of your tingly vagina as it still leaks fluid.
>You smile.
>With a moan, you lay your head back on the pillow with a very, very pleased sigh.
>Then --with all your strength-- you move your soaked hoof from above the heavy covers, and bring it in front of your grinning face.
>You’re usually not this dirty, not even when you used to masturbate, but by god you’re practically drunk off of this endorphin high.
>You put the hoof-tip in your mouth, erotically licking off your own wet vaginal juices as you moan like the slut you wish you were to Anon.
>When you finish greedily lapping up your own vagina’s wetness from the hoof, you put it down atop your rising diaphragm.
>...As the high wears off, you then feel something else.
>Guilt.
>Just like your wave of orgasm had rushed over you, the shame does too, and you feel your heart sink.
>This is beyond bad, this is disturbing, Twi.
>You can’t believe you just did this, and with thoughts of Anon no less!
>What would he think!?
>Probably that you’re an obsessive freak that has Stockholm syndrome, that’s what.
>“Ugh…”
>Worst part is that maybe he’d be right…
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>>25666376
>Speaking of being right--
>You came, and you’ve never came so hard, but despite how right it felt, wrong is wrong.
>And you, Twilight, are so fucking wrong…
>You begin once more.

“Wait, you said you wanted me to do what?”
>“Anon, please! Just put it in! Pound it in reeeal hard if ya have to!”
>You sigh.
>Maybe Twilight’s right.
>You ARE too nice.
“Well, to be honest, I’m not that 'dependable' with my equipment, you know...”
>The pony scoffs.
>“I dunno and I don’t care! Just hurry ya slowpoke! Do it already!”
>You swing the hammer on the final nail of Applebloom’s wagon. Her friends were too busy to help her with one fucking nail, so here you are.
“See, my aim’s fucking shit, Applebloom.”
>“Nuh-uh! It’s good, ya see?” she says, pointing to it.
>Huh.
>Guess you did good then.
“Well, you enjoy yourself. I have a Princess to babysit.”
>“Whatcha mean by that Anon?”
“I’m watching Twi. Should probably be getting back now.”
>“Oh, uh, alrighty then. See ya later?”
“Yeah, see ya, kid.” you say with a little smile.
>You walk off and call a carriage.

>30 minutes later….
>You walk into your house and set your things down.
>Twilight'll still be in your room obviously, so you’ll say hi to her.
>She’s probably bored out of her mind without your company.
>Bet she wants you to read more, maybe just talk, even.
>You personally wouldn’t mind both.
>You then head to your room to greet Twilight.
>*BUMMPF*
>Right before you turn the door’s handle, you stop and pause.
>What was that sound?
>It came from inside your room.
>“Unf! Ooooh….”
>The poor girl sounds like she's in pain.
>You gingerly knock on the door.
“Twi? Twi, can I come in?”
>“Hm…? Oh? AUH!!!”
>You should get her more painkillers from the medicine cabinet.
“Twi? I’m coming in, ok?” you warn her.
>You open the door slowly and--
>Oh.
>Oh my fucking god.
>Well that’s something you don’t see everyday.
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>>25664874
I don't care :^)
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>>25666457
>Jesus fuckin’ Christ, she’s so into it she doesn’t even notice you...
>On top of your bed (but considering all the sweat and fluids on it now, she can fucking keep it) lies an “enthusiastic” Twilight Sparkle, rubbing herself off so much that it made your fap sessions look like a stroll through the goddamn park.
>The mare's juices are everywhere, so you can tell she's came already, but the smell of the room and the stains on your bed clearly prove she’s done this for more than a few hours, and came multiple times prior to your entrance.
>Twilight’s hind legs face upward as she lays on her back as her head thrashes savagely against the mattress as she growls out the sounds of a girl way beyond “aching” for cock.
>Her hoof goes between her hind legs, and she toys with her twat as much as she can, trying desperately to keep the sensation of the sexual rush and to hopefully increase it.
>Her vagina's flared up, sopping wet with fluids to lubricate a cock she knows she won’t be given any time soon.
>It shows her eagerness for dick
>The mare’s labia looks puffy, letting you know this vagina absolutely NEEDED treatment brought unto it to ease the fire in between her legs.
>Twilight’s clit winks at you, but does so ever so rapidly, crying for any attention from a male.
>Hot pants escape her breath, and sweat drenches her succulent figure making her curvaceous body look absolutely fruitful.
>Speaking of “pants”….your’s start to feel a bit tight at the moment.
>Your face turns a shade of red as you awkwardly stand there agape, watching Twilight practically begging at nothingness to fill her cunt.
>If she could use her magic, you’d be concerned that she was using your things as 'toys' to get off on.
>Twi constantly cries out lewd words that you’d only imagine her saying if she were really in the heat of passion with a colt….who can’t satisfy her because he can’t fuck her, but you get the idea.
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>>25666457
Beans is back? Is this real life? sweeeeet
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>>25666557
> “USE ME”, “MORE”, “I NEED IT”, “PLEASE, OH MY GOSH, PLEASE”, and yes--even an occasional “U-unf!” comes from her drooling mouth in the form of breathy gasps and shrill screams.
>Sometimes she just screams due to the sheer power her self-pleasuring is inflicting on her.
>“Oooooh….oohh….uh-uh-uuuuhh…..KYAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!”
>...You remember when you were a kid during a summer day, how you and your friends would get your water guns out, and then spray the fuck outta each other, right?
>Then you’d all bring the super-soakers and shit would get real, right?
>Yeah man, then those beast of water guns would jet out streams of powerful water like a fucking rocket, remember?
>Ah, Super Soakers were so fucking cool, shooting blasts of water with the force of a fucking mini explosion….
>Yet even an explosion like Hiroshima couldn’t compare to Twilight’s multiple squirting orgasms.
>She wails as she gushes her juices from the bed all the way to the fucking wall, her body shaking, nay convulsing, violently like an erupting volcano, the force of her climax only rivaled by the force of which she squirts out her liquids.
>Like a fucking fire-hose, her whole juices easily squirt as far as three to four feet, maybe a meter and a half even.
>Her scream only rises to the point where she can literally scream no more, her face just a jaw-dropped girl with her eyes rolled up to her head.
>The scream is nothing more than a slight whisper as the climax reaches a stopping point.
>She then drops her head like a sack of apples, little squirts splashing out every now and then.
>After her mini squirt-a-thon, she lays on your soaked bed, murmuring the weirdest things in a voice that indicates that wherever she is, it ain’t here.
>You can’t understand a lot of it, but even the words you do hear and the words she uses together don’t make sense.
>Like, “I wanna…*a murmur here*....he towels me….*more murmurs*.....the muscles are….”
>>
>>25666568
Wait...people missed me?
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>>25666596
>It’s like she was drugged, her mind in some euphoric place you can’t follow.
>You say euphoric because of the ridiculous grin she has on her satisfied face.
>You utter out words fitting for the moment.
“...D-dayum, son.”
>Twilight's eyes slowly shift to you lazily, apparently not jumping up and screaming once she sees you’ve walked in on her.
>Nah, she’s not completely conscious you’d say.
>She’s fucking gone, kiddo.
>Instead, with her glazed eyes, she looks at you with one of the most dirty smiles you’ve ever seen, period.
>It makes your heart jump in a mixture of fear of this nympho-mane-iac, but definitely gives you a burst of adrenaline that feels very exciting…
>But you’re still freaked the fuck out regardless.
>Clearly Twilight isn’t thinking on rationality anymore, instead she's preferring to operate by the sensations of her post-orgasm buzz and her body's aroused instincts.
>She lethargically motions you over to her with her cum-covered hoof.
>She let's out a chuckle seductively.
>Then, she licks the juices of her pussy off her hoof like it were the most delicious thing she has ever had.
>The one good hoof she had, and by tomorrow it’ll hurt more than her broken bones from all that cloppin’.
>You obey Twilight's command despite your timidity, and approach her by the bedside with meek steps.
“...Y-yes?”
>She motions you to get closer to her face.
>Maybe she wants to whisper something?
>Fuck man, you don’t know this is totally freaky...
>You reach down so she’s next to your ear.
>She grins.
>You don’t like that grin…
>“I wuz...wanna hass….y-your dick Anon. I wannit…”
>She licks your face from the lips to up the tip of your nose. [pic related]
>She then closes her eyes and passes out.
>...
>You move shakily while walking out the door and closing it.
>The color from your face is now completely gone.
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>>25666721
Get her something to drink when she wakes up at least.
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>>25666721
>Your hands feel twitchy and seem to weigh more.
>Your head starts to form droplets of sweat as your heart beats rapidly, your blood rushing through your system making you feel very, very hot.
>You’re shocked, embarrassed, traumatized, and aroused.
>That was a bit extreme, like, even for you.
>With disoriented aim, you wander to the couch in your living room while you continue taking in the sight you’ve just bore witness to as it engraves itself into your brain.
>You slowly try to sit, but give up as you just drop yourself on the cushiony seat of it.
>Wow...you’re going to be sleeping in there tonight.
>That’s, uh….
>....You cradle yourself in fetal position, your erection poking you a bit in the stomach a little, but it’s bearable.
>You’re officially “scaroused”.

>At least an hour and a half ago when you came back home, you’ve gotten up to get some “comfort tea” and migrated back to the couch while deep in thought.
>And by “deep in thought”, you mean scared fucking shitless.
>Twilight did things to herself….a lot..and left a lot of it on your bed.
>And licked your face.
>Sexually.
>She licked your face very sexually.
>Then she said she wants your dick.
>Also very sexually.
>You just hope she forgets that you were in there.
>Needless to say, the whole thing caught you off guard, and you feel like you walked in on Grandmanon and Papanon on X-mas (again).
>It doesn’t help that you’re close to Twilight.
>Seeing her do that and then trying to get you to fuck her in the moment was purely bizarre.
>Imagine as a kid you saw your favorite teddy-bear jack off.
>Yeah.
>Fucking messed up and creepy right?
>Of course Twilight is no teddy-bear (though how cuddly she is at night could’ve fooled you), but still, it’s just not something you’ve ever wanted to think about.
>But nope!
>None of this is what truly scared you.
>The thing is...you almost listened to her, and put yourself inside her when she wasn’t thinking straight.
>>
>>25666857
>You just don’t know what’s wrong with you, it’s only a matter of time before she wakes up and she spills some of THE WORST spaghetti if she DOES remembers.
>You sip at your tea knowing that eventually you will have to see her again, and the thought of Twilight being so humiliated at herself makes you more than sad.
>You just hope you can still see her the same way you have for a while…
>Aw shucks, of course you will.
>She’s Twi, you’ll always see her as a good friend, and ain’t nothing going to change that for you.
>That girl did so much for you, given you so many opportunities…
>A sigh airs its way out of you.
>You’ve promised her you’re always there to help her in return, and a promise is a promise.
>No way is a minor setback going to change anythi-
>“Anon?”
>SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT
>NO HOPE.
>RUN.
“Uh, Twilight?” you answer back.
>Her voice was muffled, still in her room, of course.
>“...Can you come here, please?”
>Fuck.
>You stand from the couch and set down your tea.
>You obey her already feeling heat rising off your face as you merely approach the door.
>Wait!
>Least you can do is get her some water…
>Ok, don’t forget the straw…
>Alright, now we’re ready.
>You’re so not fucking ready for this...
>Here it goes…

>“Hey Anon, how ya doin’?”
>The room’s still a stinky mess, and Twilight sits with a sleepy smile on her face.
“Um, I’m good.”
>You hand her the water.”
>“Oh thanks! I’m really thirsty right now.”
“No kiddin’.”
>“What was that?”
“Uh, nothing. Just oughtta have liquids when you’re healing ya know…”
>>
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>>25666939
>She doesn’t remember you coming in?
>Maybe she’s pretending it never happened?
>Either way you still feel awkward as fuck.
“Sooo...you didn’t have any weird dreams, did ya?” you ask.
>She takes a moment as she makes that cute little thinking face.
>“Uh, not any I can think of. Why?” she says with a cute smile.
>The purple pony’s face doesn’t move as she answers you...but that ear twitch, flinch of the tail…
>Yeah, she remembers something alright.
>Maybe she thought it was a dream?
>Probably wouldn’t wanna talk about that “dream”, and you’re 100% fine with that, man.
>You take a mental sigh and smile, glad to move past this with such a gift wrapped opportunity to do so.
“No reason. You just seemed to sweat a lot during your lil’ nap here. I can change the sheets if ya want, but it’ll dry by tomorrow seeing as it’s late into the day.”
>Twilight offers a solution quickly.
>“Well, since we’re pretty comfortable sleeping with each other, why don’t we sleep on the couch?”
>Well, if you say no, she’ll suspect something…
“It’s a bit uncomfortable...might not be good for your healing bones, ya know.”
>She shrugs.
>“It’s alright. I’ll just be really achey tomorrow, though…”
>...
>Damn you and your ability to feel for others.
“It’s ok. I’ll hold you on top of me so ya don’t lay down uncomfortably.”
>She smiles awkwardly, but to be honest, it looks cute as can be.
>Adorkable would be a better term.
>“Well, not to sound weird but you are incredibly cuddly…”
“Likewise.” you chuckle.
>“...I promise to not suck your ear again.”
“And I promise you a good night sleep. Deal?”
>“Deal.” she takes the offer smiling, and places her good hoof in your palm as you shake on it.
>Wow. And you thought something as small as walking in on her was gonna be something so dramatic.
>You’ll always have Twilight as a friend, you fucking idiot.
>>
>>25667022
>“Cripes, it’s pouring out there…” said the mare, looking out the window as bullets of rain drops fired upon the roof.
>“Well, I like it.” said the colt to her.
>Daring Do turns to face her current companion, Quick Wit.
>“Care to explain?” she asks, crossing her hind legs as she sat down in her desk’s seat.
>Quick Wit shrugged.
>“I find storms this wild tend to have character. Wild thunder, cold air with water chilling you to the bone, lightning striking...it’s more interesting than the bland Summer day most prefer.”
>Daring flashes a grin as she looked back to Quick Wit.
>“You some sort of poet now?” she chuckles.
>Quick Wit rips off another bandage.
>Daring winces, probably a bit more than you'd expect the adventurer to do so.
>“Just thought I’d tell my perspective on why I think storms are neat.”
>The khaki mare chuckles.
>“I never even said I didn’t like them.”
>“Didn’t need to. It was totally implied when you were staring out the window.”
>Do sighs.
>“Just shut up and take my bandages off.”
>Quick Wit smirks musingly to himself.
>“I’d rather take off more,” he mutters.
>“What? You muttered something...sounded kinda suspicious.” Daring asks.
>“Nothin’. Just a thought.”
>The mare raises an eyebrow, but shrugs the thought away.

...

>Anon closes the book and places it on the nightstand next to you.
>“Well then...”
>You still feel the muscles in your back tensing from cringing so hard.
“I didn’t know it'd be so ridiculous...”
>You and Anon look at each other with an awestruck face.
>Then you both grow stupid smiles as laughs erupt.
“Oh my Celestia that was so cliche’ it hurt!”
>>
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>>25667104
>Anon wipes a tear from his eye as you feel his diaphragm contract from his laughter.
>“To her credit, at least she didn’t self-insert herself this time and created a Gary-Stu instead…”
>A.K. Yearling really needed to practice more.
>She's losing that good grip.
>You lay on Anon as he holds you in his arms to make sure you don’t have to be on the uncomfortable couch.
>You said he didn’t have to...but that stallion --er, you mean man-- was persistent in his kindness.
>You admit to yourself that you really like Anon holding you like this, snuggled up in a blanket with your head leaning on him as his arm wraps around your stomach.
>It makes this warm feeling in your chest rises as you feel the strange feeling becoming one you find incredibly intoxicating.
>You nuzzle your head into Anon once more.
>After a breath, you start to find his scent rather appealing too.
“You smell really nice Anon...” you say as he pets your mane.
>His hand stops petting you as it freezes at the words.
>“Uh, wat?”
>Your ears twitch as you just realize what you just said.
“Oh, uh, sorry! I just noticed when I was kind of nuzzling and...”
>Anon puts his mouth on your vulnerable and slender neck, eliciting a surprised gasp that interrupts your rambling.
>Then, he blows raspberries on the skin as the tickly and weird feeling causes you to squeal and giggle like a filly who just got her cutie mark.
“Gah! That tickles!!!” you squeal between tear-inducing laughs.
>You squirm as your cheeks become rosy as he only blow harder as the noise gets louder.
>It feels like forever until Anon decides to be merciful and stops.
>The human smiles with a sense of confidence for his action, and takes pride in his assault on you.
>“Well you taste nicer, Twi.” he says with his snarky voice.
>You then put your ear against Anon’s chest with an idea to outdo him in this now playful competition.
>>
>>25667218
“Oh yeah? You sound nice.” you say, carrying along with Anon.
>“What about when I read to you, huh?”
“Trust me. You sound REALLY nice reading too.”
>Anon pets your mane playfully as he chuckles.
>“...Oh yeah? Well you look nicer than I sound, Twi.”
>You blush at the compliment.
“Well, uh, you’re the one responsible for my new figure...”
>You feel a little bit of courage, but not much.
“Besides...you don’t look too bad yourself.”
>Anon’s eyebrows rise at the little quip as you start to regret what you’ve just done.
>Ya dun goofed, Twi.

>You expect him to freak, or feel weird, but nope...He just...smirks?
>He’s just smirking now!
>What does it mean!?
>Why are you so bad with emotions, Twilight!?
>“That doesn’t count silly horse. You just repeated what I said.”.
>...
>Screw it.
“Well... Y-you feel nice.”
>...
>He doesn’t respond for a moment, and you begin thinking you’ve gone too far.
>This time you really dun goofed, didn't you?
>Oh by the moon please don’t let this be too painful…
>Wait, now what’s he doing?
>To your surprise, Anon scooches you further up so your faces are closer, and proceeds to keep you near him as he wraps around you with his arms.
>You shudder as goosebumps rise from the chills he gives you.
>You’re held very close to the man now.
>He speaks quietly to you, a hushed tone escaping his lips, and you focus on every word like it’s the most important of your life.
>“You feel nicer.”
>You feel your heart stop.

Is this any good? Hell, is anyone even reading this?
>>
>>25667315

Do you even have to ask?
Yes we're reading. Stay, put your feet up, write some more.
>>
>>25667315
>You don’t what you’re doing, but you need to do this.
>You have to do this.
>Your close face already approaches his own as you take a gander in his eyes.
>You’d want to describe them with as many words you know, but keep going back to merely three words.
>Incredible.
>Awesome.
>Smexy.
>You feel the moment of truth as Anon looks back into your own eyes.
>Does he feel how you feel?
>Is he okay with this?
>It doesn’t matter.
>You lean even closer into Anon, his nose mere centimeters away from you.
>It’s quiet, and the tension in the room is at an incredible high.
>You have no idea why you’re not stopping yourself, why you want to keep going…
>But would it really be wise to stop now?
>No.
>You have to keep going.
>You must.
>You will.
>Your lips connect as the world stops turning.

>Anon doesn’t resist as he melts into the kiss as he starts to hold you closer to him, the heat and passion growing with every second your mouths touch.
>You’re mind goes numb of all feeling except for a hazy sense of wanting more of Anon.
>The kiss becomes stronger as you feel your tongue prod his lips, as if you were trying to taste him more.
>He obediently obeys as he opens his mouth, and his mouth becomes yours to explore, and your’s his.
>Your tongues start to tangle with each other, and both of you at this are no longer thinking rationally.
>You find your hooves wondering around his amazing body, taking in as much of his muscular build as possible.
>Anon feels you up too, his hands sweeping along your barrel, thighs, and eventually to your sweet flank.
>He doesn’t grab and squeeze your cheeks, but instead lays his hand there, appreciating the shape their in.
>You’re getting chills as he then strokes your mane lovingly so, and you find yourself in bliss.
>If you could be in this moment forever, you’d still want more.
>Your hoof becomes daring as you start to slide it down his pants.

>>25667370
Aye-Aye, Captain.
>>
>>25667315
Yes. We are reading it.
>>
>>25667402
Anon could pull out of his own driveway.
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>>25667380
>Suddenly, Anon jumps and his eyes widen as he realizes what he’s doing.
>He pulls away from the kiss, panting as he catches back his breath.
>You pant as well, and then immediately realize what you have just done.
>No longer do you blush from the arousal, but now you blush from absolute humiliation.
>Anon looks shocked.
>He tries to talk, but only stutters of words come out before they die in his throat.
>This goes for thirty seconds at the most.
>He finally pulls enough words to form a sentence.
>“D-did you just...And w-we…?”
>You cover your face in your hooves as you start to cry.
>You fucked up for real, Twi.
>You just ruined everything.
>Everything starts to spill out as your tears do as well.
“Oh-my-gosh-Anon-I’m-so-sorry-but-I-really-really-really-really-like-you-and-I-don’t-want-to-because-literally-everypony-else-likes-you-but-I-actually-like-like-you-not-just-your-body-but-not-that-your-body-is-bad-because-you’re-suuuuuper-hot-but…..!”
>You stop trying to explain yourself when you Anon continues to stare with his jaw agape.
“...I’m so sorry, Anon. I-It wasn’t suppose to be like this…”
>“Twi, can I talk to you about something?” Anon asks you unsurely.
>He sighs and you start to get nervous, and your chest feels tight with something you’re not quite sure.
>You nod your sniffling head yes.
>Anon takes a breath, choosing his words carefully.
>“Twi, I saw you.”
>...
>You don’t know how wide your eyes are, but you’d guess they’re quite wide.
“B-but, you were…”
>You start to fret, heart racing like a race car.
>You only have one thing to say.
“Th-that last part where you saw me...and I said…?”
>He shakes his head to confirm your thoughts.
“It wasn’t a dream, was it?”
>“No.”
>The humiliation hits harder than the tree that fell on you.
>>
>>25662743
Stylish can be installed on FF for Android too, but I use opera for that text wrap.
>>
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>>25667479
Pls continue based beans
>>
>>25667529
When you have to roll up a scroll but you don't want to fart in front of Celestia.
>>
>>25667529
are you waiting for him to finish to continue the zombie story?
>>
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>>25667479
>Water drops form in your eyes as you try to talk, but find yourself empty of words to say.
>Anon speaks again.
>“...You said you like me. Is that actually true? Do you really mean it?”
>Your heart throbs.
“I’m sorry...I know everyone else likes you, I know I’m the only person who is your friend because I don’t only want to bed you, b-but I couldn’t help it! It’s just that ever since I got injured, you were just so nice to me, and you did all these things, you’re funny, smart, charismatic, a-and--!”
>“Hot?” he adds dismally.
“NO! I mean, yes, b-but that’s not why I like you! It’s more than that, Anon. You make me feel….feel like I used to. Before I was a princess...”
>His eyes start to become as wet as your’s.
“You actually care, Anon. You’d make eating mashed potatoes fun, even! I hate potatoes! I loathe them! But you? You made me smile while eating them. Then you’d read to me, say all these nice things, a-and being so humble and modest all the while we got closer….HOW COULD I NOT LOVE YOU?”
>You break down into sobs as Anon wipes his own slowly forming tears as he lets you lean into his chest as you cry tears into his shirt.
>He gently strokes your mane, trying to soothe you, but his face glowers in disapproval.
>You look at him.
>Saying he looked unhappy would be an understatement.
“Anon, you have to understand...I wasn’t suppose to love you. This isn't purely sexual...”
>“The bath. Were you getting off on that?” he asks sternly.
>You feel even more guilty.
“Y-Yes…”
>His brows furrow and disappointed tears drip off his angular chin.
>“But you still used me."
“B-but I didn’t actually reach climax! I-I almost did, but I knew I should stop, s-so I did!”
>“If you really loved me, you wouldn't have made me do that!”
>Everything with Anon's officially lost.
“Anon, I didn’t want to love you.”

>>25667588
What zombie story?
>>
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>>25667569
*Anal clenching intensifies*
>>
>>25667645
>>25665922
>>
>>25667645
“...I’m sorry.”
>“Stop it. Stop crying, Twi.”
>You wait for him to continue.
“What do you mean? You’re mad at me, aren’t you? I blew it! You, me, it’s all gone! I shouldn’t have gotten attached to you like I did...but you’re just so great that I-I couldn’t help myself!”
>He’s quiet for another few seconds.
>You counted ten, maybe twelve, but it felt more like minutes than seconds.
>Anon pets you once again.
>“...Ya know, I think you’re great too.”
>You stop sniffling as you look at the human, not certain by what he is saying.
“B-but I--”
>“And since we’re being honest here, I’d be a liar if I said I never humored the idea of you and me as a thing…”
>Your heart flutters despite the sullenness of the moment.
“Y-you did?”
>He lets out a dismal chuckle.
>“Yuh-huh. I still think about you though, even unromantically. You see Twi, you’re the greatest person I’ve witnessed. Being alone when I came here as an alien--a freak-- you looked past that and saw a scared man who needed help. No one at home ever saw that in me, and you? You knew it first glance.”
>He wipes your tears as less fall.
>“You’ve heard me say it over and over again...I’m always your friend. You've done so much for me that I’d never be able to fully return the favor. You’re smart, you’re quirky, absolutely nothing like the other princesses. Do you know who you are, Twi?”
“...Not anymore.”
>“You’re the kindest, most amazing person I’ve been blessed to meet. You might think I’ve been making the time we’ve had together less painful for you...but it’s not like that. I like having you here as you like having me help you.”
>“But I used you! When your were preening my wings? That’s SEXUAL Anon! I should’ve told you, but I was too….ya know!”
“And I forgive you because I know you’d forgive me.”
>>
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>>25667714
>“B-but I--!”
>He wipes away a tear of his own.
“Twi...I would do anything for you. Literally. Anything.”
>You know where this is going though...
>“But you can’t love me back, right?” you ask disappointingly.
>...Why is he smiling?
>He lets loose a few tears he can’t control.
>“How can a pony so smart be so fucking stupid?”
>Your faces get closer, and the words are quieter.
>Anon’s whispers make you feel wild, but you hold your composure.
>“Twi. My life is your’s, and life with you would be amazing.”
>Your lips locked with his instantly.

>All thoughts vanish without a trace as instinct takes it’s course.
>The experience you were feeling right now?
>It was mystical.
>You’ve never felt like this.
>Ever.
>You wrap your good hoof around Anon’s neck, bringing him closer so you could taste more of him.
>Your tongue dances and twirls with his, and the sound of your lips smacking joined by moans make it all the more delectable and magical.
>His muscular hands hold you, as if he wants you to know you’re safe in his loving embrace.
>With each touch of his lips, it’s like a blitzkrieg of pleasurable sensation bursts through your mind.
>You try to hold him so he can be even closer so he can feel your entirety and so you feel his own.
>Anon senses your efforts and helps you out knowing you’re physically not strong enough.
>As your bodies touch, he begins to hold you by your barrel, gently brushing along your sides soothingly.
>It gives you shivers.
>Well, more shivers than you already had.
>Never have you felt this way, but you wish the feeling of you and him together never fades.
>Anon pulls away from the onslaught of Prench kisses as he breathes hot and steamy breaths to recapture the air he had lost.
>Then, he looks at you with eyes that not only contain his hunger for you, but his desire.
>>
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>>25667714
>absolutely nothing like the other princesses.

KEK! Other princesses BTFO
>>
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>>25667759
>“I always thought you were cute, Twi.”
>You smile as a cute giggle escapes you.
>You feel so giddy right now...
“I know. You called me a “QTπ.”
>Anon chuckles.
>“Yeah, you’ve always been one though.”
>A concern rises in your mind.
“This isn’t just some...some sex is it? I mean...I love your build and you're hotter than Countess Coloratura's new album but...you’re feeling this too, right?”
>“I feel a mare that loves me for something besides my body. The fact that you love me for me? It’s literally the best thing next to meeting you in the first place.”
>You know you must look ridiculous with how enchanted you seem by Anon but you can't help it.
>Literally everything he just said pulls your heart-strings.
>You kiss him briefly again and pull away.
“I was gonna say the same thing, Anon.”
>He nuzzles his nose to your snout as you two just smile at each other happily.
“I haven’t felt this much like myself since my coronation...yet here I am, with a multitude of broken bones and aches…”
>“And you couldn't be happier.”
“You know it, big boy.”
>Anon kisses your little snout with an amused grin.
>“Did you just say big boy?”
“Shut up. We’re having a moment.”
>“Shutting up…”
>Connecting your mouth with his once more, the tingles rise up your spine as the chills only increases alongside the intensity you and him share.
>You press deeply into his kiss, trying your hardest to please him, silently hoping you’re not a bad kisser.
>I mean, you’ve not kissed a boy since forever...and you were still a little, little filly in school.
>So..technically Anon’s your first “real” kiss then, right?
>“He pulls back as he gently bites your lower lip before parting away with you.
>U-unf!
>He then presses back, touching tongues together as you and him both breathe each other’s air.
>>
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>>25667849
>You feel dizzy doing this, but you don’t care.
>It’s just too hot.
>Then, he flicks his tongue, making you take a short intake of air through a slight gasp.
>He pauses before he resumes.
>“...Am I too much? Should I be more gentle.”
“Not at all….but I’m not bad at kissing, am I?”
>Anon grins.
>“This isn’t your first kiss, is it Twi-Twi?”
>You almost bluff and retort, but immediately decide against it.
>Wouldn’t matter if you did say the bluff because the cute blushing pout on your face seems to answer it for you.
“...maybe.” you say quietly.
>He rakes his “fingernails” over your coat as he pets you.
>“Tonight’s gonna be first for more than kissing then.”
“Er, q-quite!”
>You try to sound dignified, but your inner dork escapes.
>Man, you spill spaghetti more than Pinkie Pie makes cakes...
>At least he seems to find it cute…
“I-I kinda wanna try something...can I?”
>Anon gives a thumbs up.
>“Go for it.”
>Okay, keep it together…
>You face Anon’s collarbone from the neck of his shirt as you observe how it moves under his healthy skin with his muscles.
>You then sink your head down to it, opening your mouth around the bone as your tongue feels the details of it’s anatomy.
>Anon breathes a pleasant sound, and begins stroking you again.
>The joint moves a bit as you suck on it, but continue anyways.
>Then, you stop pulling to find a little bruise on it.
“Wait, I-I didn’t hurt you, did I?” you ask, pointing to the mark you left.
>He sees it and giggles at you.
>“That’s a hickie, Twi. It’s from sucking on my skin. It’s fine.”
>You blush as you mentally slap yourself.
>Stupid Twi, stupid!
>Of course that’s a hickey, you know what hickies are!
“O-oh..yeah, I forgot.” you nervously chuckle out.
>“Twi. You’re shaking.”
“I am? I am! Oh, it’s just that, um...”
>>
>>25667759
Some minor things. It's "yours", not "your's".

Loving it though.
>>
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>>25667932
>You fumble for words, and even though you think of some, you seem to be incapable of speaking clearly.
>He puts a finger over your bumbling lips to silence you.
>His eyes look reassuring, and they manage to calm you...or at least enough to listen.
>“Hey Twi? Listen to me.” he says calmly.
>Anon pets your cheek soothingly.
>“It’s alright if you’re nervous...ya know why?”
>You shake your head no.
>“Because I’m nervous too.”
>...
“You have no idea how much moist am I right now, do you?”
>He boops you on the nose.
>“Well maybe I can find out?”
>His finger immediately starts to tease your aroused vulva, eliciting a sharp gasp from you.
>Anon silences it with a tender kiss as you melt in his mouth.
>With each touch of his surreal fingers, your lower region twitches at the slightest form on contact.
>Just a simple brushing of your labia with his fingers jolts you like a shock of static electricity.
>You breathe heavy breaths in the kiss, making you and Anon dizzy from the carbon dioxide breathed out by you two.
>It almost feels like a sort of buzz or high of sorts.
>You separate from each other for air and let your sounds of sharp pleasure escape freely.
>Anon rubs the lips of your pussy as his fingers becomes wet from the dripping arousal drenching them.
>Your sharp gasps turn to pleasured moans and yelps as his dexterous digits begin to tease your vulnerable clitoris.
>You pussy throbs as it aches to be filled with something--anything--to make her seem full.
>Instead, Anon’s fingers flick and squeeze your pearl.
“Hah! Oh my gosh, I love your fingers... more...please.”
>He obeys with a silent grin.
>>
>>25667932
>>25667970
>>25667985
Yeah, I'm noticing some grammar mistakes even though I'm proof-reading them before posting. That's usually when I get off and take a break for a while. Today though, I've done nothing but this, so I'm kinda tired. So thanks for letting me know and I'll try and fix it on the pastebin. For the meanwhile, I'll be taking a break. Don't go anywhere brother, it's gonna get super steamy.

Also I really like that drawing. You do it?
>>
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>>25668072
Just in time too.
We've hit five hundred posts.
This ends your regularly scheduled thread.
Goodnight /mlp/
>>
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Well hello there /hangout/, how you doin?
>>
>>25668072
Thanks for the story.
>>
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>>25668153
Graduate thesis.
>>
>>25668153
This is way you always keep sugar cubes in your pocket when you go to Equestria. Mares love sugar cubes.
>>
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Also new thread
>>25668333
>>25668333
>>25668333
>>25668333
New thread
>>25668333
>>25668333
Lookit those fine numbers!
>>
I like satyrs and reading about making them.
>>
>>25633404
>only a faggot wouldn't enjoy that sort of thing
>only a faggot
Speaking literally, you are an idiot.
>>
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>>25636380
>>
So, what gift are you sending Anon?
>>
>>25668857
None. Because I don't want anyone knowing my address.
>>
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>>25668718
I like satyrs and writing about making them.
And them making out.
Apparently someone thinks my daughteru has a donk worth destroying though.
http://imgur.com/zLVc5c1
I don't know how to feel.
>>
>>25669052
Because people are going to take time and money to go all the way out to your abode with the intent of killing someone they don't know as they leave a huge paper trail leading to you?

Or do you fear getting pizzas delivered to your home because you think it's fucking 2006?

Real sensible, Anon.
>>
>>25669071
I left the satyrs threads because I got tired of this.
>>
>>25669189
I left too, like three times. But I keep going back because I care about the kids and if I don't do something with them, no one will.
>>
>>25668771
>>
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>>25668759
>three days later
>>
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It's that time again.
>>
>>25669507
I'm going to fuck you right in the cloaca you cheeky cunt.
>>
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>>25669507
So it is
>>
>>
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Rare is best ponyloaf
>>
>>25668857
I have no idea actually.
>>
>>25669684
She's going to pounce on you.
>>
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>>25669695
Kind of hard to do when SHE AIN'T GOT NO LEGS
>>
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>>25669726
Oh no.
>>
>>
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>>25669726
Poor Lt. Raraar
>>
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>>25669882
ayyy, you caught it.
>>
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>>25669900
I need to buy a lottery ticket today.
>>
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>>25669911
The fuck?
>>
>>25668350
Oh hey, >>25668333 was the pic I was going to use for this thread originally.
>>
>>25669923
That's okay, I like the one you picked too; it's an old favorite of mine
>>
Thread posts: 535
Thread images: 188


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