write whats on your mind

i should have another bowl of oats

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>tfw you let deleuze finger your ass to deconstruct his heteronormativity but you forget he has howard hughes fingernails

Youre fucking supposed to write with your whole arm and not with your fucking fingers?

No wonder my handwriting has been shit my whole life.

I've been praying the Rosary every day for about a week now, inspired by Our Lady of Fatima. I actually really enjoy it, and it only takes about fifteen minutes.

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>>9580201
I used to be really edgy about my Catholic faith. But I also have been warming up to it recently. Bless you anon.

I'm becoming very suspicious of capitalism

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>>9580169
I've often imagined scenarios where I'd be forced to kill one of my closest friends: how I would do it, a plausible situation, the mental rigors I'd have to go through, etc... as though a conscious preparation for something bound to never happen. I'm not a sociopath, nor am I psychotically inclined. I never find these pleasant, though I don't depress myself over them either. I, in fact, feel a great deal of loyalty and love towards my friends.

Why am I having these thoughts, /lit/? You're the only board I trust to have the mental fortitude to answer somewhat coherently.

The crisp summer air scruffs against the abrasive aveolies in my lungs while mosquitoes leach at my ankles and pit of my elbow. My mom has just kicked me out the car after getting into a heated discussion about her and dad's divorce, and, of all straight, fated course, my mom ran her fuse into its powder keg leaving me no choice but to high tail it out of there. As she peels off into the distance, I stand unresolved and crooked, drawn back by the metaphorical blow to the stomach as it grows for a meal. My suitcase stands beside me with its faulty pull handle latch and my Swiss backpack weighs my shoulders to the asphalt under the weight of my laptop and various books, one of which is Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon. Oh how I wish a missile were headed my way to relieve me of being marooned at this foresaken, rundown Valaro. I find a spot between two wall side flood lights to escape the bugs and gnats devouring my body's soul source and pry open the book at around page 139.

>>9580169
Wolf Children is a cute film.

you can't trick me into sharing my emotions with anyone

starting to feel soulless again

>>9580169
Why is it every time I go to write something, anything, be it a story or a poem I can't. I mean, I get some great few paragraphs or stanzas going I have a theme, an idea, a character, a purpose-- and then by the 25% mark I'm doubting the littlest of details, rereadin it over I find all the little painpoints that make me cringe and shiver and revile my creation to the point where I MUST destroy it
This happens every time I try to force myself to write anything. I end up hating it! Everything I've ever written, that's been a serious attempt at writing, and has been something in excess of a couple of pages, is ultimately destroyed?! I can't be the only one who does this, but how do I get over it! Is the only way to find somebody dedicated who can offer their insight and keep me motivated to finish my trash to ultimately get better? But I find these people ONLY dig into stupid shallow seashell tidbits I don't give a shit about "you forgot to capitalize that word"

is it wrong to want to write something perfect? at what point do you just say 'good enough'? how do you even go back over a work after spending weeks on it, and try to change the direction a story goes, or even to rephrase something? the language sticks, the story gets glued into place. you can change the words, you always have that power, but how can you destroy something you've created? however imperfect, isn't there beauty in the imperfect? can't it be more beautiful than something more perfectly crafted? and why must I obsess about how others will perceive my writing? how do I just be satisified with what I've created? it seems utterly impossible, like a skill that can never be learned, but a personality shift which I'm just supposed to wait for to happen?

>>9580209
Wouldn't being edgy about your catholic faith be following everything too strictly. Is it the thought of this anon doing the rosary weakening your dedication down to a warm temperature?
Or is every weak/lapsed/non-catholic edgy in their Catholicism? :^)

tomorrow I'm gonna get my life together

>>9580278
I

I sought a theme and sought for it in vain,
I sought it daily for six weeks or so.
Maybe at last being but a broken man
I must be satisfied with my heart, although
Winter and summer till old age began
My circus animals were all on show,
Those stilted boys, that burnished chariot,
Lion and woman and the Lord knows what.

II

What can I but enumerate old themes,
First that sea-rider Oisin led by the nose
Through three enchanted islands, allegorical dreams,
Vain gaiety, vain battle, vain repose,
Themes of the embittered heart, or so it seems,
That might adorn old songs or courtly shows;
But what cared I that set him on to ride,
I, starved for the bosom of his fairy bride.

And then a counter-truth filled out its play,
`The Countess Cathleen' was the name I gave it,
She, pity-crazed, had given her soul away
But masterful Heaven had intervened to save it.
I thought my dear must her own soul destroy
So did fanaticism and hate enslave it,
And this brought forth a dream and soon enough
This dream itself had all my thought and love.

And when the Fool and Blind Man stole the bread
Cuchulain fought the ungovernable sea;
Heart mysteries there, and yet when all is said
It was the dream itself enchanted me:
Character isolated by a deed
To engross the present and dominate memory.
Players and painted stage took all my love
And not those things that they were emblems of.

III

Those masterful images because complete
Grew in pure mind but out of what began?
A mound of refuse or the sweepings of a street,
Old kettles, old bottles, and a broken can,
Old iron, old bones, old rags, that raving slut
Who keeps the till. Now that my ladder's gone
I must lie down where all the ladders start
In the foul rag and bone shop of the heart.

I've been depression free for some time and I feel it coming back, I think I'm going to have to read a book tomorrow or something

Been feeling like shit, fucked up my /cut/ can't go on, but I'm trying and I need to stop lying to myself and not let my emotions control my life

>>9580287
Anon, what's your check list? What are the things you're gonna do to get your life together?

>work out
>get a job
>start journaling
>apply to school
>etc

What actual, physical steps are you going to take. Plan it out. Make the you of tomorrow feel obligated to you of yesterday.

DUDE

I'd like to talk to her, but I should be sleeping and not online, and I know she doesn't care for me neither does anyone actually and I'll be unemployed in a week and why the fuck don't I just get to it and kill myself already? I've been flirting with this shit for months already and what's the fucking point of it all if I can't get laid with someone who has FEELINGS which I RECIPROCATE because that's what it means to be human, right? Not just a mammal or a reptile or a robot or whatever.
If I could be just like any other Average Joe, with a steady job, a steady fuck, some smidge of self-confidence and kids or whatever, I'd have no use for these stupidly elaborate coping mechanisms (MEANING ART). But no, daddy had to go fuck someone other than my mom and get another family, while mom had to pamper me to oblivion, and I had, I JUST FUCKING HAD to spend my whole adolescence locked in my room playing fucking videogames and dreaming up scenarios where I wasn't such a fucking loser.
Now, guess what? I have to deal with my feelings AND reality! I have bills to pay! No longer a virgin, but FUCK, what does it matter if I'm as good as dead to her? All the while, I cannot stop thinking about her. She shouldn't matter at all to me. I am the only person who should matter to me.

IF I COULD EVEN BEGIN TO CREATE SOMETHING WORTHWHILE!!

I mean, fuck it. I just can't get my shit together, it doesn't matter how hard I try. Do I have any shit to actually get together? I have no idea.

There you fucking go.

I'm running out of time for entertainment during the week because of studying, gym and work. It's depressing me. Atleast I'm not depressed. I am.

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>>9580196
Same goes with art, I've been drawing my whole life with my fingers/wrist only to find out that as an adult.

>>9580355
at least you can still get excited about getting laid, i'm too old to get jungistically horny like that, now i just think about having kids which is even more expensive than getting laid, so it always induces suicidal ideation or whatever the call it, doubt i'll do it, but it's a nice fantasy

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>beginning the first serious relationship I've had in two years
>just got last semester's grades back and they're near perfect
>starting dream job next week
>still feel sad every night
WHAT THE FUCK WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY GOD FUCKING DAMNIT

>>9580238
Sounds like you fetishize death to a degree. Some people think about it more than others.
The concept of life and death. The thin line separating consciousness from eternity and the consequences that come from crossing it.
It's only natural to involve those closest to you. Loved ones are often one of the most important things to people. Imagining the death of somebody close is often abstract, almost like it couldn't happen. Part of you knows that death is inevitable, and so you might try to create a fantasy that is digestible. Some fantasies aren't as easy to accept, so you seek an answer to the potential conflict you might feel. In your case you wonder what it would be like if you were responsible for their death.

>>9580209
Just out of curiosity is everyone on /lit/ either a lapsed or LARPing Catholic?
t. lapsed catholic

>>9580524
i don't think they're LARPing.

>>9580529
t. pro-lapsed catholic

>>9580535
>ass humour instead of saint insults
i smell protestant

>>9580542
This Nicholas had risen for a piss,
And thought that it would carry on the jape
To have his arse kissed by this jack-a-nape.
And so he opened window hastily,
And put his arse out thereat, quietly,
Over the buttocks, showing the whole bum;
And thereto said this clerk, this Absalom,
"O speak, sweet bird, I know not where thou art." - Chaucer

>>9580547
at least quote more if you want to prove something, thomas

>>9580169
you want my love this you can't deny...
but how could i tell unless you tryyyyy.

i wanna be alone with you just us two
but how could i have known that you want me too?

aaaaaah
aaah aaah
aaah aaah aaaah
aaah aaah
aaah aaah

>>9580169
I just wrote this horseshit while shitting:

I need to start writing. Writing anything at all, really. Honestly, the grammar isn't even important. I must find something to do with myself or it's going to be this forever. If it's this forever I'll die.

I don't know where to start. What a great way to start.

I haven't started. This is postmodern bullshit because I'm too lazy and too terrified to put in the real work of becoming any kind of writer.

Why do I want to be a writer, anyway?

The answer is obvious. I want to feel better than other people. I want to feel smarter than other people.

I want idiots to consume my thoughts like gospel. I want to have a widespread and catastrophic influence on the world.

I want to feel that I've done my part in accelerating the inevitable heat death of the universe.

It's not like it matters, anyway. I don't even exist in any way that is even remotely comprehensible or relatable. There is no set of necessary and sufficient conditions which can capture what it is to be me, or even what it is to be. There is no difference between a human life and a crashing wave. It's the playing out of fundamental physical forces. There is no now. There is no past. There is no future. There is no borderline between myself and the outside world. I am everything at once, or I am nothing at all. The existence of objects between categories proves that the categories are naught but the haughty impositions of man on what was once a system free of judgement.

There is nothing. Epistemology is a husk. Ethics is a farce. Metaphysics is nonsense.

The only thing I can say with certainty is that I am not certain of anything.

I am the snake that eats its own tail. I am the refutation of all of history.

The end is coming, but there was never a beginning.

Time itself is a result of our biases.

Perspective is a result of our limitations.

He knocked again, louder this time, before jerking his head back over his shoulder in fright.

A monstrously fat squirrel looked back at him, apparently alarmed by the twitching tubby human he had alerted.

No time for squirrels. He knocked again. The bastard better answer or he was likely to keel over from dehydration.

After a lifetime of fear, an even fatter, even more poorly groomed man opened the door.

"Fuck. Am I too big for you?"

He shook his head, unable to find the breath to speak.

Five minutes later, he had sucked his first cock

I hate everyone and don't go outside

>>9580524
Some of us are entirely sincere, in ways that would shock you, by the sound of it.

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>>9580169
I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was a beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman whose light was snuffed out far too early.

I often fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her.

Oh god imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for.

Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like she’s gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. You’re both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her almost comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you and her are both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.

>>9580784

You dream of the beautiful face you have found in this place. So soft and sweet.

One day you will both die and your ashes will fly from an aeroplane over the sea.
But for now you are young and all you want is lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing you can see. Love to be in the arms of all you’re keeping here with you.

What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye

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>>9580788
Suddenly, you awaken from your slumber to the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. You open your eyes to darkness, it takes a split second for your vision to readjust. You feel lonely and cold. Another shriek knocks you back into reality. Anne sitting next to you, clutching her belly, face contorted from pain. A foul smelling fluid lies pooled on the floor around her mid-section. Your hot dirty fuckfest has brought on labor. she cries your name, begging for help, begging for you. The noise. She’s louder than a line of Louisiana Tigers giving the Rebel Yell right now. You raise your finger to your lips to tell her to be quiet. But the agony is too much for her to bear. You’ve got to do something or else it will awaken the entire neighborhood and with it, the Nazis. Suddenly you remember the bulge in your pants. You’ve got morning wood. It’s not the best gag, but it will have to do. You stand up, squat like a slav, using her belly as an impromptu stool, grab your still cum-crusted cock, and shove it right inside her mouth. At first, she tries to scream even louder in surprise, but your circumcised 100% Kosher dong blocks her windpipe, reducing her screams to a barely audible gurgle. Suffering from unbearable pain, she bites down on her your meat with each contraction. Now you’e in pain too. With each contraction, she bites down harder, it feels like she’s gonna tear your cock right off. Eventually, the pain subsides for her and she doesn’t bite down as much. Now it seems almost as if she’s starting to enjoy it. You can feel your child kick on your testicles. Clearly it’s excited too. Suddenly, your cock starts to shake like a V-2 again, you pull it out of her mouth just in time. You bust your steaming hot and sticky load, blanketing her like an incendiary carpetbombing of Dresden. Semen stains her mountaintops (all three of them), along with her hair and most of her face. She quietly giggles from the ironic amusement of it all. You giggle too.

I make friends with people because I think they're inferior to me and when their lives start to improve I cut all contact.

>>9580794

Then a look of sharp pain shoot across her face. She’s having your baby. You wish you could bear all the pain for her, but all you can do is sit and watch. You look down at her vulva, still oozing with cum from that great fucking you gave her a few hours ago. You can see a head of black hair poking out. You fear that she’s gonna start screaming again, much to your relief, it seems that she’s gotten better control of the pain, thanks to you. She begins to softly moan, it seems as if instead of experiencing excruciating agony, she’s experiencing an orgasm. You can’t help but grin as she keeps pushing. As more of the head becomes visible, her moaning intensifies. Finally a small head emerges from her vagina. You can see a face wrapped in an umbilical cord. A small pair of hands grab the head, she weakly tries to pull the head out. You put your hands around the head and begin to help her pull. Desperately, she goes into the next contraction with all of her energy, and pushed with everything inside of her. She feels everything. She feels shoulders and hips and feet all slide down inside of her and pop out in one long push, with a rush of fluid behind it, and it feels amazing. She throws her head back with a rip-roaring orgasm that penetrates the very heart of her soul.

>>9580796
You look at the newborn now lying on the floor and see that it is a boy. You have a son. Perfect, perfect in every way. He begins to stir and you realize he’s about to cry. After all that’s happened, you don’t to given away to the Germans from the wails of a newborn. You gently lift him up and place him on Anne’s semen stained mountaintops. The baby quickly finds the breast is soon sucking happily. Semen, blood, amniotic fluid, breastmilk all mix and fill the air with a strange scent that while repulsive, is also extremely arousing. You can’t resist the urge anymore. Your mouth land on top of Anne’s opposite breast, sucking first your own cum, but then her tasty milk. You look into her eyes, she’s somewhat annoyed, but too exhaust to really care. A gust of wind coming from a hole in the wall blows through, cooling both of your sweat-drenched bodies, but also disturbing the little one. You’re afraid he’ll start shivering. You look around the dusty attic for something to keep the baby warm. You settle on Anne’s fur winter jacket, having sat unused for the past two years. You know Anne will definitely not be happy that you ruined her favorite coat, but it’s for the best. She hasn’t been able to fit in it for the past nine months anyway. You carefully wrap your little one in the coat and hand him to an exhausted Anne, she continues to quietly feed him. You notice the dead silence for the first time, not even the other occupants of the Annex, mere feet away in the next room, were roused. You feel a sense of relief. You’re safe, for the moment at least. Eventually you curl up next to her quietly and begin to doze off. Your secret sleeps in winter clothes. Tomorrow, you can find a way to explain the night’s events to your parents and hope they don’t kill each other. You can somehow find a way to get your little bundle of joy to safety. But tonight, you just rest, your first night as a family.

The girl I'm having an affair with just broke up with her boyfriend and I'm terrified because she'll soon start asking about us going official and I don't like commitment or trust people.

>>9580800

Oh god, just thinking about this is making me rock hard. The hardest I’ve ever gotten. Oh, I think I’m gonna… I’m gonna-

*Cums in Diary*

>>9580696
mental illness isn't that shocking desu

Covfefe

>>9580900
green tea

>>9580278
If it makes you feel any better, this isn't a writing exclusive thing. I like to draw and animate things but just I hate just about everything I do and I'm embarrassed by it. Still I post it all online in a blog that nobody follows to keep a record of the things I make and revisit them.

Success and becoming a better me everyday. Also trying to reach higher and higher level of consciousness mainly because I'm currently reading a book called cosmic consciousness.

The biggest flaw in modern secular society is that there's no mechanism for forgiveness and absolution from sin.

This really started under Protestantism, but now in a world with no Christianity at all it's a thousand times worse. People talk about how in secular politics, privilege is the new original sin, but what's missing is that all sin is now permanent. The Catholic Church has the power to forgive and remit sin, provided the sinner shows repentance, and it's a mechanism with divine finality. When you confess and repent, the sin is gone, and no longer clings to you.

But in the secular order, sins attach and can't become unattached. The rapist is always a rapist. The racist is always a racist. The thief is always a thief. People do terrible things, and they can't be absolved of them, even if they seem to be genuinely repentant and remorseful. And, as a corollary to that, even when people express remorse for things they've done, you can never be sure of their sincerity any more, since they may merely be trying to create a dissonant brand or a counter-narrative.

No sins are forgiven. No debts are discharged. No reputation is ever fixed. It all just piles up until something cracks, and we wonder why.

>>9581067
This is an interesting viewpoint. So you think a reversion to religion as the highest authority would be a benefit to the world? Aren't (and weren't) there people who would continue to sin after being forgiven, despite the threat of eternal damnation?

If you remove the threat of divine punishment, it falls upon man to punish those who transgress. By necessity, man must submit to a higher power (Death if nothing else), but surely he has the authority to exercise judgment upon his own kind?

The rants of rape and all the 'isms' are a means by which society can control its own. The fear of being judged for your actions, words, skin color, religion, who you like bumpin' uglies with, etc. discourages people from discovering personal values. People are told to be afraid of who they are and afraid of who they believe other people to be. These fears are being massaged instead of assuaged, as you can see every day when you look at the news. To a conspiracy-minded person it might seem as though there is a plot to turn us into homogenous little meat puppets.

I agree that something needs to happen, but I'm not sure traditional religion is that something. I believe that people need to celebrate the things that make us the same (the love of God, perhaps) rather than attack our differences. From universal common ground the self-assurance and wisdom required to become a fulfilled individual will arise.

>>9580169
I can't believe she betrayed me.

>>9580201
>I've been praying the Rosary every day for about a week now, inspired by Our Lady of Fatima. I actually really enjoy it, and it only takes about fifteen minutes.
God bless you, Anon.

too much going on in my head, can't focus

I'm might be moving to chicago in about a month, and I won't even know for sure until later today. Having never lived in any city besides my hometown, I don't know how I'll deal with a totally new environment with no friends or family near me. I also don't know where I'll live yet, and I'm a bit nervous about the possibility of having to settle for a bit of a hood area. In any case, I'm excited. I've been looking for a change and while I dream of a comfy life alone in the middle of nowhere, I've always been attracted to the poverty, filth, and decay you can find in major cities. I also look forward to changing my lifestyle in a dramatic way, though old habits are hard to break. I'll also need to get an FOID and CCW with a couple new pistols, which will be a pain in the ass... How the hell do you conceal guns in the summer anyway? I'm going to look like a jackass wearing an M65 in the heat.

Despite all the happiness I've experienced lately, there's been that underlying dread that makes an appearance randomly throughout the week.

It's typically a very ephemeral experience that lasts just long enough to remind me that ultimately whatever happiness I'm experience is either a) fleeting or b) Illusory

I know in some ways that this should motivate me to understand how exceptionally lucky I am to even be in such a position of temporary happiness, but it's like I'm already nostalgic about shit that hasn't even ended yet.

>>9581167
read lao tzu's tao te ching. It's been helping me deal with constantly contextualising things to the past

also i'd suggest meditation to understand consciousness and how you're body feels - which is the most intrinsic part of you

good luck

Gonna go back to the kitchen to make bean burgers and watch some anime before I'll continue to study for oral exam

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>>9580784
>>9580788
>>9580794
>>9580796
>>9580800
>>9580805

Not sure if >>>/mu/ or >>>/pol/

I think this character I'm writing is self-inserty to a point of mild cringe (the protag falls in love with him), but... the point isn't wish-fulfilment, the point is that he represents my experience and the experience of people like me, which I think every author has the right to... write. The story is still about the protagonist.

Anyway, I'm stuck because I'm self conscious. I have to not only face but publicly admit my flaws.

I recognize how lame this is but I'm seeing someone with drastically different views than me and its constantly throwing me off my game

Communism has poisoned the spirit of my people. They still crave it. They have a delusion that life was better back then, while even statistically speaking it's somewhat better now, which is a miracle considering what we went through. Life was more carefree, for sure, mostly because you couldn't lose your job, and getting a job was a party membership book away. How strange it is, that the ideology that preaches equality creates such a selfish mindset, and selfish in a specific way. People don't want to be rich, they want other people to be poorer than them, they want all government officials to receive a minimum wage not realizing that doing so will only increase the already high corruption.

>>9582091
>How strange it is, that the ideology that preaches equality

communism preaches materialism not equality, whilte capitalism, if it preaches anything which is doesn't anymore than gravity preaches weight, it might preach freedom

communism is horrible

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>9583002
what happened man?

I gotta go down to the students union, during that puzzle league tournament, to find a qt. I need help.

>>9580181
gainz bruh. do you lift?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Why are libs such petulant faggots?

>>9580169
pussy :^)

I've been chipping away at everything in my life in some vague quest for authenticity and aesthetic value, but all it's led to is a fundamental confusion and instability in both me and the world that previously wasn't there.
What kept me going anyways were silly, spontaneous and often very short-lived ideas, some bordering on delusions of grandeur, some just fundamentally dishonest. I've spun a handful of these around in my head for a number of years now, while also distracting myself with video games, music, sports. There is no quest for authenticity here, and the things, if any, that I set out to reach or at least seek, like honesty, loss of the feelign that I have to make a certain impression on people, deeper appreciation for my condition in life, none of these have truly arrived, and even in the moments where it feels like they have, real life comes around the corner, and it's so much louder and brighter than my tiny moments of clarity or inspiration. I'm also probably not a good writer, or even a writer at all.
It's easy to declare all these things and I've become exceedingly good at this exact way to judging my situation while doing exatly nothing about it. Feels stuck, man

What is the third option that is not communism or capitalism? Is it just letting people live their lives and figure things out for themselves?

>>9583742
>Is it just letting people live their lives and figure things out for themselves?

how is that not capitalism?

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>>9583748

I need a dick on my arse badly

>>9583742
It's making me emperor of the world and letting me be the arbiter in all questions of law and life (also I get to make young, beautiful, sad women fall in love with me)

>>9583748
I guess the problem I have with the capitalist system is that there is not enough capitalists. The majority of people become dependent wage earners.

>>9583769
That's the only problem?

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Without anyone to spend time with, I continue my days in solace. Yet in this dim light, I doubt there's any soul shimmering in the shades.
We are not worthy of time, and we incessantly waste it on one another in this faceless forum.
The yearn for a better life seems incomprehensible.

>>9583779
>Yet in this dim light, I doubt there's any soul shimmering in the shades.

what do you mean by this?

>>9583769
>The majority of people become dependent wage earners.

you say there should be more capitalists but you chose to waste your life watching cartoons and shitposting instead of getting an mba at a top 5 school and moving to silicon valley or manhattan, and that's fine, it's called freedom, some people like to create the future of mankind by shaping our industry to their will, others like to watch anime waifus on tv, each person does what suits them

>>9583801
>it's a question of personal morals whether one becomes a capitalist or not

i guess that's a comfortable view

>>9583783
To highlight the disjuncture. My soul withholds alone. To wish for a spirit, even mine, yet it never shows.
The homophone sole to mean a lack of footprint or direction.
That which matters is senseless.

>>9583809
capitalism gives everyone the freedom to do what they want with their life, some people are content to masturbate to cartoons, others are decide to start billion dollar companies, we are all free to do what we choose

>>9583818
>capitalism gives everyone the freedom to do what they want with their life,

you know that's insanely hyperbolic and probably not true and that if it was, everything would fall pieces. "everyone gets to do what they want" is a myth, it has never been the basis for a functioning social system

>>9583822
>it has never been the basis for a functioning social system

it is the basis of capitalism my friend, stop being a silly hater, if your destiny in life is to be a cartoon masturbator, embrace it, you are free to do as you please

>>9583822
This emphasises my point. This utopian ideal of capitalism is just as false as the utopian ideals of communism.

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The half black qt at work remembered my name and waved at me today. God, why is she such a cute.

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the future determines the past as much as the past determines the future. causality is a line not an arrow.

the universe is inclined to care about what happened before only as much as it needs to, and if what had happened before must be something to fit what is happening tomorrow then so it shall have been

physics is abominable to the human condition

Why am I here again at this time of night?

>>9581140
Being Catholic, I would certainly like very much for religion to reassume its place of prominence in the world. Purely from a point of practical necessity, however, I feel that, as I said, what we're deeply missing is a mechanism by which someone who's guilty of something (whether that guilt is innate in their nature or whether it's the result of an action of theirs) can have their guilt remitted and be dubbed "clean." I agree that, for example, crimes should be punished, but it seems too often that even when punishment is meted out and suffered, the anger at those who have been guilty lingers, and prevents full reintegration of the guilty into society.

Or maybe this is just a uniquely American problem. I've noticed Americans don't really "do" forgiveness, and that on the contrary it seems like a really American thing to hold grudges and seek revenge. I don't think this is healthy at all.

not everyone is meant to take the spotlight. some can't even become an extra in the background, some can't sit and watch the show. only a higher power can man the lights.
we can all stand outside the theater in the rain, though.

>>9583913
I think the problem is people have idealized everything except for being human. And since these monomanic ideals are unhuman, they dont know how to be honest with themselves or look honestly at other people.

>>9583888
To post trips

>>9583995
I just reread what i wrote. It makes no sense. Its been a long day. I apologize for shitting up a theological discussion.

Anons, my life is just work and sport. I use 4chan to create a 20 minute buffer between bed and office. This crazy place is the only thing preventing me from insanity.

>>9584046
Stop sporting and do something that you enjoy more. Spend the time not sporting to find more enjoyable work?

I think the reason I always stay up too late is because of a sense of disbelief that the day has already ended and contempt for how worthless it had been.

I'm becoming the same rude, narcissist and resentful piece of shit as everyone else in my family.

lo-fi chill-hop study music compilation 12 hours

>>9584267

A true narcissist would never even consider the possibility that they are becoming or have become a narcissist.

You're just a hothead douchebag.

I want to drown myself in quick fixes: alcohol, sweets, porn.
Right now I'm fighting the urge to yank again.
Sad.

>>9584675
You see things too simply.

>>9584698

>wahh let me self-diagnose like a tumblr girl or you see things too simply

Okay.

I fucking hate reading PDFs and my local library's closed. I'll have to take the bus tomorrow and stop by the 2nd closest library. I miss reading. It kept me busy. It kept me distracted.

A pig in a cage on antibiotics.

wow arcade fire is doing another disco album! rad!

>>9584854
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC30BYR3CUk

>Mr. Apolonio said that as the police chased the gunman through the hotel, he doused himself with gasoline, set himself afire and shot himself in the head. His identity was not released, though the police said he was a foreigner and Caucasian.“Apparently he’s mentally disturbed,” Mr. Albayalde said of the gunman later on Friday.

lol

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>>9580836
'Mental illness' be the signal, not the noise. Evolution is mutation, and the greatest evolutionary event was the crucifixion.
Atheism is pedestrian to the core, it's normal, almost animal. It's noise. Loose freight. Believed only by people who don't care, who don't evolve, who just want to live and die as if life is some kind of cosmic cruise on the SS Planet Earth. Surrounded by ikea furniture, in their bored anarchy, bored of the Christendom they never bothered to understand, wanting to make easy targets out of poor unsuspecting religious fools with their supremely superior 20th century secular philosophy (lol), Atheists ridicule religion. Trying to fucking throw me overboard from a boat I'm not even on, I'm not on the fucking SS Planet Earth, you don't even know where I am, and you don't want to know. Because you can't go where I go, you're not built for it, you didn't develop that kind of pathology, the pathology that one needs to be a Christian, because Christians are prodigies, who experienced unhappy things in life and were marred by them, but who will also find salvation in them. I'M NOT CRAZY, CRAZY PEOPLE DON'T MAKE SENSE. Actually, scratch that, crazy people make perfect sense, but very small, limited sense. Akin to the kind you are making, the kind of sense atheism is rooted in. Microscopic, strangling sense that doesn't allow the intellect any free roam, that does not permit evolution.

>>9584790
Easy that's you.

>>9580795
>not hanging out with people who are smarter than you
pleb

>>9585023
I've met very few people smarter than me. The only one I can think of is the old lady next door.

More wine? Or sleep?

>>9585108
Take a step outside. Breath in the air, no matter how fresh, and find a nice bush to pee in. Upon returning inside drink some more wine and really enjoy yourself. Eternal nothingness is soon to come.

>>9580169
I've fallen for another trap I have layed out for myself again. When will I ever learn to live away from my disillusioned imagination that persuades me to believe it's my reality

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>>9583739
You don't believe God has the power to save you from yourself. You have dreams, good, and you want to achieve them, also good, but you stop short, afraid of abandoning yourself while knowing that you must do just that to achieve your dreams. A common problem for intelligent people. You take pleasure in dreaming, and realizing that the blessedness of the dream comes from the possibility of it becoming real, set out to make it real, but then something unexpected happens, the moment you put your hand to the plow you can no longer feel the dream which was your only reason for doing so in the first place. You are forced to either continue in vain without inspiration, which may be self-destructive, or to stop and go back for the inspiration only to start again in the same never ending spiritual tug-of-war.
Like the woman at the well you keep coming back for water.
What you need is the water of the spirit, then you can do miracles.
Also read fear and trembling.

I visited the doctor today on account of blinding pain in my kidney. He took my temperature and said it isn't my kidney but was probably a back muscle. I said that was impossible as I had not strained myself recently and I had taken anti-inflammatories and painkillers and neither had any effect on the pain as they would if it were a back muscle. I said I was in pain. He told me he didn't believe in medicine and, before dismissing me, asked me to come back next week for him to proscribe me a regimen of diet an exercise. He performed no other tests. My kidney hurts.

>>9586736
go to the emergency room, kidney infections kill people

Is it off topic thread? Fuck it, I don't care. Recently I've been really motivated by all my media consumption to actually apply and learn philosophy. If I do pursue it, it would most likely be a 7-8 year venture, I plan to get a doctorate. What I'm worried about are the job prospects, like are there even any? My alternative is becoming chartered accountant for which I most likely lack the dedication as well as money and it's not something I'm really interested in. I keep telling people and myself that if I'm going to be a wagecuck, I want to do something I'll really enjoy and knowledge, books and philosophy do seem to be that. The future just remains uncertain and I'm really getting depressed over this shit.

i feel at home in black and blue

I'm struggling with something. Through no fault of my own, I've become my social group's de facto "shoulder to cry on". My friends bring me their problems and seek my guidance. This is troubling because I often have no experience with these problems and I'm essentially working from first principles, trying to apply a general logic or morality to a very nuanced situation. This makes me feel extremely anxious, for my friends but also for myself. What if I've completely mis-read the situation? What if I'm held accountable for my shoddy advice?

At any rate, my current concern stems from something much more self serving. Over time I have created snapshots of my friends, as characters in stories. I emphasise their suffering to substitute my own inexperience in that area. Now that I'm looking to publish a story using some of these characters, I feel guilty. I've essentially leveraged my friend's confidence into something I might profit from. On the one hand I want to get my work published and acknowledged. On the other, I don't want to betray my friends.

Do any of you have thoughts on this.

4chan has been used to datamine and to test social engineering tactics.

finna kill myself senpai

>>9580169
I'm ashamed to say I hate my mother.

>>9580209
>edgy Catholic
What does that mean?

>>9586871
I want t o read those stories is what I think

>>9586837
I have the same plans but you sound like you gave up before you started mang, where's your fightign spirit?

This beer is definitely associated with Eurovision.

>>9584647
Gamers delight: 24 hours dubstep comp for gaming now with more wobs

how can i find happiness knowing i will never be a great in my field of life?

also fuck spawning next askia and his fucking constant aggression

>>9580169
Ulysses is fucking hard book to read. Why would anyone write something like that?

I'm so fucking angry and bitter at the fact that I'll never have a gf or sex with a girl I'm attracted to. I can hardly feel anything else other than this rage. There's nothing I can do about it. I hoped that I could translate the pain into something of literary merit but I don't have the innate talent.

>>9587693
Hire a hooker.

>>9580169
I want to fuck a 8 years old girl

>>9587693
Start lifting. Genuine advice, anon. <3

>>9580278
in short : perfectionism
watched a video on this problem a while back; guess it's just part of being human
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xm7awfl6hYA

I'm starting to think that most everyone I've met is operating on some level of personal delusion and that the only time one can acknowledge themself in the fullest are harrowing, periodic moments of clarity where it is, briefly, possible to see and recognize self for the beast that is, and that more often than not it is instantly detestable: and the only way to succinctly end such insight is by drowning it in mundanity and distraction. I like to think I've chosen more sophisticated, constructive distractions, but that's the naivety and narcissism speaking.

I've also been playing around with self-destruction way too much as of late and it's bothersome. It's not a self-esteem issue, (I have a pretty high opinion of myself), rather, I think I have an unhealthy fascination with how people set themselves up for failure. It's like as a distant observer I can see how one is managing a farce and prepping for their own guillotine clearly, and yet that body can't see doom and decay approaching. I can't shake this lurking thought that whatever I do, or plan to do, I'm setting myself up for grand failure and somehow that that's almost okay because it's at least a step above simple one-off failure. I smoke pot and am genetically predisposed, or, at least at high risk for schizophrenia. And yet I keep smoking, knowing this all the while.

And another thing: I'm having an awful time at concentrating during sex. There isn't a moment during the progression towards climax that I'm not thinking about a fleshed-out fantasy unrelated to the sex at hand and usually unrelated to sex at all. I'm completely serious. I don't tell my girlfriend this, obviously; she's understanding but it's far too unreal to describe to another living, breathing being. My most recent habit is imagining myself as the captain of my own sea-faring vessel complete with rogueish mates and a skipper, long mast and my own sails to the wind. Me and the lads are belting out a rousing sea shanty in the throes of the sunny Mediterranean, and when i finally reach a climax we are at crescendo, and as i strain in organic evstacy I can almost hear the echoes -- HELP ME BOB I'M BULLY IN THE ALLEY ((way hey I'm bully in the alley)) -- Bully down in shinbone al.

how bad can things get
how bad will they get
will things get bad or will it be merely sth new
does it even matter
does anything matter
does everything matter
do i care
should i care
sigh
why do i sigh in perpetual absence of others, what the purpose of expression in absence
to what degree do i exist when i isolate myself
hm
fuck it.

>>9587965
I think this would make me feel worse. I just want to have a sexual relationship with someone I'm attracted to who is also attracted to me; I want this so desperately, more than anything, but it is an absolute guarantee that this will never, ever happen. I don't know how I'll deal with this for the rest of my life. I don't think the pain will ever subside.

>>9588682
Are you deformed or something?

>>9588696
No, just regular ugly. I could realistically get with fat/very ugly girls, but not with any girl I'm actually attracted to. My standards aren't that high though. People underestimate how impossible it is for guys who are not deformed but still just regularly unattractive to get with passably decent looking girls.

Of course, I know I just said I have standards myself. I don't hold it against women that they don't want to be with me, just like I don't want to be with women I find unattractive, but it still hurts terribly.

>>9584976
>this is your brain on bronze age superstition and memes
Either that or its schizophrenia. Reads a bit like schizophrenia, my cousin has the paranoid variety and this is what his writing reads like.

>>9588735
Women are not like men. Ever walk down the street and notice a beautiful women with an ugly guy? I do quite often. Now how much do you see the reverse?

>>9588751
No, I don't notice it, it doesn't happen. Every time I see a girl I find attractive with a guy, the guy is significantly better looking than me. Yes, I do see less good looking girls with better looking guys than the reverse.

People are very naive when it comes to this, especially good looking men who never have to face the reality. The fact is women are even more discriminating than men when it comes to appearance. Appearance is really all that matters.

>>9588061
called the FBI

>>9588757
This is only true so long as you tell yourself that. Men need a woman to be attractive. Women can get past that. I'm not saying they aren't superficial in other ways (beauty really isn't superficial) money, affluence, but they can get over looks. You need to be able to make up for it in other ways though, which I'm assuming you don't, considering your pathetic "woe is me" victimhood. You are a hunter. A woman is salmon.

>>9588786
Dude for real this PUA stuff is way off base. Attraction is all physical for women. You think good looking guys have to "hunt" for girls? When you're thinking of guys who aren't the most attractive but "make up for it in other ways," you're probably thinking of 7/10 guys who did well with girls. Not 3 or 4/10 guys, for whom it is totally impossible. You're probably a pretty good looking guy and, frankly, don't have any idea what you're talking about. Good for you.

>>9580795
My problem is I can only make friends with people I feel as inferior to me. I'm just not very confident around people who I feel are superior (in the social sense), I fear they'll be able to see through my facade of feigning confidence.

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>>9588739

>>9588812
you're probably right. I've just had FAT friends get attractive girls, so that's what i'm thinking of when I say this. Not 7/10's in the least. You know I'm only trying to help, but I see you either are falsely or rightfully set in your beliefs. Hopefully you can channel this misery into good art. Best of wishes, anon.

I have short ribs slow-cooking on the stove right now. They smell delicious.

>>9588843
Sorry for seemingly to disregard your good intentions anon. But for me, as a 27 year old kissless virgin who cannot get any success with women even when actively trying, it is totally impossible. Perhaps, at one point when I was younger, the possibility to turn things around still existed, but at this point that time has passed. I just need to find a way to deal with it, but I don't think I can.

Guy writing a novel again, I'm writing a scene where two people go out for drinks, and in the course of their conversation, one becomes upset and disgusted by the other's attitude towards her boyfriend (who the disgusted character herself is in love with). So, she lets her feelings fly, and they get into a fight, just verbally ripping at each other.

Does this ever happen? I feel like people would just keep their mouth shut and then talk behind one another's back, or just socially pull away from the person who pisses them off.

I'm inclined to just make it happen anyway, because a novel that faithfully replicates real life (especially modern life) is boring as fuck- and the source of the conflict is pretty novel (one of the women is trans). I even got this feeling with Clayton's speech at the end of Less Than Zero, that he'd never just open up like this with his little speech, even to his girlfriend.

Especially since my entire novel up until this point has been soaked in self-loathing and cruelty, I'm afraid I'm only painting with one color here. Writing your first novel is so fucking hard.

Now I'm at the point in the post where I realize nobody can help me with this and I've just been talking to myself, but fuck it, I'll post anyways.

>>9588860
... Nice.

>>9588875
If there has been tension building up, it would feel real, but out of nowhere it may seem odd. I would go for it either way though.

>>9588888
... NICE.

>>9588875
Hemingway sought to recreate fiction out of life in a realistic style, and many would not consider him to be boring or flat. It is not the situation but rather how you express the scene that effects whether it is realistic or not.

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>>9588902

I would prefer my window open, but there is only so much of children screaming that I can take. Pointless screaming.
“I SURRENDER”
“LOWER YOUR VOICE”
Now there is no longer fresh air or a cool breeze. The joviality and disregard that youth take to others nerve is gone. I am alone in a quiet room. This is what I wanted wasn’t it? I hear the faint whispers come through the window. The daggers stabbing into both sides of my temple return as quickly as the window shut tight. The apparentness of my change from youth to -- whatever this is, made face. I just wanted to read, with fresh air and the crickets, begging for a mate. Now it’s stuffy in here. I wonder if I should open the window again. When did this bitterness come to me? I don’t think I should be free of it - as it’s only bound to increase with age. I wasn’t being unreasonable, the needless screams of those stupid children were. It was constant. I’m not being bitter.

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>>9580169
I question whether or not I like any of my friends and I also wonder if they like me. They never communicate with me outside of the college campus. I have to go out of my way to talk to them. Whenever they spot me, they wave, but they barely talk to me. They have my phone number and I have theirs, and I have them added as friends on Facebook, but there is no communication. Sometimes I get dark thoughts. Not suicidal thoughts. I am over that. No, sometimes I feel like going full columbine and wreaking some havoc. I think about how I want to go to campus with an explosive vest underneath a hoodie. I contemplate whether or not I should detonate or not. But, then I realize how stupid and insane that sounds. I try to drop those thoughts, mostly by playing digital skinner box. Most of the time, it does not work. I hate the idea of resorting to violence, but it's hard when you think everybody is either patronizing, pitying, or laughing at you. Sorry if I sound like an edge lord.

>>9589113
Fucking awful. Go to your containment board and stay there. Not only are you a complete shallow edgelord, but you think that you're more than that. There's a reason why people only pretend to like you. Kill yourself and take no others with you.

>>9589113
These people are not your friends. If you don't hang out with them outside of school, then they probably don't really like you that much.

>sometimes I feel like going full columbine and wreaking some havoc.
To get rid of this desire, try turning your hatred for others into self-hatred. Convince yourself that you're the reason for the situation you're in. You'll probably be suicidal, but at least you won't be murderous.

>>9587247
No I'm just confused but I know in the end I'll most likely end up pursuing the thing I love. Hopefully it works out for you anon

Holy hell I was hard.
Who'd have thought that a single mind could experience such intense lust without prior modification? Who'd have thought that nature would evolve a being capable of the unbridled passion that I'm currently caught in? Not me, certainly, but as I chased her down the street I thought about what a strange world I had been born into, and what a strange man I'd become.

>>9580169
I don't find myself anywhere near as successful as I want to be, and every time I feel like I've grown a good deal more I come to realize there's something else missing or something I ought to do that I'm not doing.

I have no problem with the uncertainty and anxiety throughout periods of growth. I do, however, have a difficult time accepting I'm neither as amazing as other people tell me I am nor as shit tier a pleb as I think I am.

And to boot, I'm pissed because I'm so damn discontent working minimum wage jobs to survive while I chip away at the things I legitimately want to do with my life for barely 40 minutes of the day. I know exactly where I want to go but haven't a clue how to get there. And what little free time I do have between jobs is spent checking /lit/ or reading/studying.

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Once more the Bith will rule the galaxy.

>>9580278
'Kill your darlings' is the popular phrase. It means 'delete your beautiful, curlicued, heartfelt passages, because they're probably not very good.' But the phrase also means 'know when to abandon a piece.' You are obsessed with going back to perfect the pieces you started. And you will never be satisfied. Realize that this is a futile endeavor, because as an artist you will produce 99% trash and 1% good work. You discard the trash, you don't go back and wrap it up nice and peddle it to anyone, not even to yourself.

Feedback is good. Artists have very fragile egos. If they aren't encouraged they will quit. You need to find someone who enjoys reading your work and telling you what's good.

Honestly, you sound very inexperienced. Keep writing, friend. Keep rewriting. And read at least 10x as much as you write. Distribute your work. You'll learn everything you need to by repeating these steps.

>>9580297
why r u responding w yeats is this a new meme?

>>9580524
worse, my parents raised me mormon. glad to be godfree now

I wish I could experience love. I feel as if I'm missing out on something important to the human experience with it being so prevalent in everything.

I’m scared to write my stories.
I don’t think I’m ready - I’m 19 after all.
First I’ll read this book, or go to that city.
But I definitely won’t start now.
That would be insane to deprive these great ideas of those experiences.
I’ll just keep them in my head
Until that time comes and I feel i’m ready
To do them justice
Yes
YES
The tiger is in his cage
A 6 year old is better than me
I envy his confidence in his own work
Everything I do reeks of self-doubt
I guess I can try to force myself

>>9580567
i think, when you say, "i need to start writing," what you really need to do is start reading and thinking. because what you really want is to be active and meaningful and engaged. but how can you do that by just vomiting words? look at what you've written; it's incomprehensible, or else trivial.

>>9580802
as the other man, you are the one who gets cucked by life

>>9583086
very vague statement. i think, if you wanna be around her just to have the chance of striking up a conversation, don't do it. not worth it.

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All my joints hurt. My hands are sweaty and it's gross. I want to read to take my mind off it, but don't have to motivation to get off the computer. Tapering off suboxone sucks. I wish I'd bothered to retain some real friends instead of ditching them for people to get high with. Now I'm totally isolated and it sucks.

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>>9583818
>capitalism
>when everyone is entitled to a small loan of $1 million

>>9584154
same t b h

>>9589235
FUCK that, you should get more creative. Working minimum wage is a mistake, pursue that career. Or don't, and be a vagabond, hey, at least you'll be free. You literally got nothing to loose.
If you try and fail you will at least be a unique individual although poor. If you succeed then you've won. Anything is better than working a job. Unless that job is part of your larger plan, NEVER do that shit.
NEVER
EVER
Always have a plan.

>>9588875
This sort of stuff happens in real life, yes. In my experience, people let anger build until its target is almost a caricature of the real cause, and then they'll try to be amiable but it will fall apart under the simplest phrase that even echoes of the caricature. This usually starts with a passive aggressive remark about the offending phrase, and if the response is aware of the passive aggression, it'll turn into a full-blown argument.

Anyway this is what happens when I get angry. It's very shameful.

Another day as a NEET and another day where I told myself today was going to be the day it changed. Every day I fall asleep at a different time and sleep a random amount, so it feels like I'm tumbling. Falling head over heels through life.

>>9580836
>Look mom! I'm so edgy!

>>9588812
>>9588843
i think a lot of women want fixer uppers because women want their love to have tangible results. you can't fix ugly, and you almost can't fix all the insecurities and stigmas that come with ugly. but you can fix fat. btw people have described me as 6-7/10 so i can't really relate

>>9589113
you actually have to be very selfish and almost solipsistic to believe that everyone is laughing at you. in reality, no one cares. everyone has their own problems man.

>>9589186
this sounds like how i would expect tao lin to sound

My girlfriend left her ramen in my fridge.

I'm going to eat it and hope she forgets about it.

>>9589514
Your girlfriend is a worthless whore.

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>>9589497
i am tao lin and that is the start of my new novel i hope u rike it

I'm hungry. But not yet hungry enough to go and make something to eat. I wonder how much longer it will be until my hunger level surpasses my laziness and I go to the kitchen. Given the latest rumble, I estimate around 45 minutes. Just like you can gauge the proximity of lightening by thunder, I like to imagine I can gauge the time my hunger overtakes my idleness and I feed myself out of necessity. Like always, I will make too much food; two tins of cold baked beans over eight slices of toast, and force all of it into my face over a twenty minute period to reduce the time until I need to feed myself again. The plate with yesterday's crusted bean juice is sat on the corner of my bed, and I fear I may have to wash it as my sink already contains the five plates I own; four with crusted bean juice and one with crusted tinned ravioli juice. The thought of having to wash a plate nearly pushed the wait until over an hour, but my stomach just growled at me again because I'm thinking too much about food. I wish I still lived with mother.

>>9589514
I left your girlfriend in my fridge

I'm going to eat her and hope you forget about it.

>>9580169
"I'll work harder tomorrow - my real life hasn't started yet", were the thoughts that young Jean would have everyday. Though the passage of time deluded him, coupled with his status as a bachelor amongst his fellow school mates, he held onto the belief that spectacular and gay things were to come in the immediate future. Each day he was met with a failure - be it an awkward rejection from a woman he had grown closer to and loved for years uncounted, failures in his assessments, or the breaking down of relations. "Things will be better tomorrow - I'll try harder tomorrow", he would always think.

Time deluded him, so much so that he awoke one morning to find himself in a white, sterilised bed, the threatening summer sun beaming across his lap as the elderly lay bed-ridden around the room. Young nurses and respectable doctors walked gently around, conversing and tampering with various medical devices. "What a strange morning. Though my legs don't seem to move as well, I am sure that tomorrow will bring me a pleasant surprise!" he muttered. In his self-induced trance, an inkling of a thought began manifesting in the deepest recesses of his mind - that maybe there would be no tomorrow, and that there would indeed be no good things to come.

Arabic is such an ornate, traditional language. The letters are free-flowing and write like a cursive art. Each letter has different connective forms based on where it is in the word. It's so inverse to how English works, with many invariable contradictions that are hard to identify - Arabic has very little pretense with its grammar. You have short grammatical "markings" that work little letters themselves, and the case order of the language creates words that just sound pleasing to say, but outside of that there is an orthodox freedom: I could, for instance, reverse the subject and object order in a sentence and the only change I would need to make is the related possessive case on the subject itself. I can easily see why this language would lend itself to Islamic extremism, and comparatively, very extreme conservative standards in regards to western culture: imagine if everything you said sounded like a proverb, and most of your most common axioms are in relation to God and sanctity. It naturally lends itself to very serious attitudes. But despite that I believe there is a direct friendliness that lies within. When I say أهلاوسهلا - I am literally saying to you: "my land is your land". And yet this is the most common greeting Arabs use. When I say goodbye: "السلام عليكم", I am saying peace be upon you. When a terrorist shouts "الله أكبر", he is literally saying God is the greatest seconds before blowing himself up. That kind of violent radicalism is innately detestable, but, at the same time it's so foreign and far gone from what we know that I can't help but be interested in it. The poor and uneducated in the middle East live entirely through scripture and have little else to draw on: the educated and wealthy that have expat from their own nation are some of the most sincere, friendly people I have met primarily because of their fierce devotion to respect of others, their belief that a household should invite and entertain guests, and that relationahips should carry intense, reciprocal friendship i.e. when you show kindness to me I should repay that kindness in greater show. It's not something that meshes well with the West, and I don't know that it ever really could.

Im in this place, now. My 19th just hit and Im still here. Lots of downs and lows but we're here, working towards the ultimate goal of a fulfilling career in Chemistry. Labs going well except for those frikin self-made procedures failing like bitches. But thats the price, I guess. Failure untill we reach the goal.

We danced in the back room
with a broken disco ball for a moon
and artichokes for hearts,
pretty tough until were baked.
I got on the pink line at 3 a.m and made it to the liquor store by 3 o’ five.
All the guys out front tried to sell us kill,
but we had enough death in a bottle
for the two of us.

>>9580278
Kill yourself

>>9580355
>I'd like to talk to her
stopped reading here

>>9580511
Shut up with your walls of meaningless crap

>>9580567
This is pathetic, I seriously wonder how can you have the courage to post that on the internet

>>9580784
>>9580794

Fuck off Mangum, you and your stale hipster shit

>>9583023
He's just read this thread

>>9583739
>loss of the feelign that I have to make a certain impression on people
absolutely ridiculous and pathetic, like the rest of your post

The possibility of hope seems absurd, and every time I find a it I soon realize its a delusion. How can one be strong without something justifying it? How can one be optimistic in the face of limited possibility?

Why is it that every attempt I make at raising my self-esteem ends up with finding more reasons that I'm a total and absolute loser?

>>9580256
some cool writing here but that 'abrasive aveolies' crap gave me aids

From reading this thread, people seem not to realize that there's a difference between engagement and abstraction. Changing, doing things requires strategic thinking, planning, reward-games and not endless rumination on the pointlessness of, limited nature of or your own inability to act in the world

>>9589316
No, you can't

>>9588636
is this a poem?

>>9588262
good post

>>9587016
proofs?

>>9587034
why?

>>9586838
swell post

>>9586837
there aren't any job prospects besides the odd not-quite-related thing like librarian, which you can (in my country) take seperate courses for
t. in the same boat

>>9584154
I know this feel. I wish the night would never end

>>9584154
I do it because I don't want the next day to come.

>>9588262
The first part sounds like Jung's description of the shadow

>>9584154
I remember when I used to go to bed at 22 and was up at early school days.

Today was bed at 7.30 and up at 14.30. So tired always, fuck.

>>9584154
I feel more myself at night

yey it started raining
the smell of earth, grass, tree rises
the barrage is pleasant to the ear
no humans, only the belated wet to the bone shopper-, ooh, the qt isn't wearing a bra
oh look a magpie in desperate search for dry enclosure, as are some kids
I feel really comfy, I would like to hope that it never stops- the rain or the comfiness. The famous quote from The Taxi Driver comes to mind. I wish someday we'd have such a rain.

>>9580217
better decades late than never, i guess

>>9580524
it's not a meme: /lit/ is a catholic-marxist board

>>9588875
kill yourself. girls deserve to get along and should never drift apart over some useless fucking boy who literally wants to pump and dump them

t. shoujoanimeluvr382 - the guy who hates haremshit more than anything

>>9580169
I visited you from /fit/ because i miss my genki /fitlit/ daughteru

I think I really might be dead inside. 19. 21. 23. It doesn't matter how old I get, who's blowing me, or what the words are. Brain has matured. All downhill from here

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>>9590307

Uh... I don't think Mangum wrote this. It's a pretty blatant attempt to slander him.

>>9580196
wait what is this true?

>>9580800
The imagery and concept of the husband sucking at her teat along with the newborn is surprisingly good.

"At least trying" is not a reasonable excuse, you should be able to tell. You will achieve nothing if you choose not to act. Do not misunderstand what I mean by act. It is the action that matters, and only the action. Everything else is unsusbstantial.

>>9591335
>husband
>Anne Frank

Uhhh... I don't think this is a loving husband and wife fantasy.

>>9591379
I meant to say father. Newborn and father of said newborn. A metaphorical husband given their relationship, etc.

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>>9591405

Touché

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>>9591405

If you were willing to help the girl give birth (in a VERY peculiar way), I guess we can overlook the fact you technically committed child molestation since you're obviously devoted to her.

I suppose if this had actually happened and they survived the war, Anne and Peter probably would've gotten married at their parents' insistence, settled down together in post-war Holland, and probably just avoid mentioning this to their kids or anyone else for that matter.

you just have to say that you've made a mistake and that you regret it
don't worry, you're not gonna get fired

I am at a standstill. On the verge between one horizon and the text. Doth a nigga get high? Shall I stay in this realm of understanding, along with its beautiful dismay?

I wish there was a pdf of Mythology by Edith Hamilton. cant find one

I want someone to read an essay I wrote for my philosophy class when I was in school, but I don't want to be misunderstood and thought pretentious so I don't offer it to anybody.

>>9592736
http://www.online-convert.com/downloadFile/c2721ecc-bc21-46d9-b6be-c8c85eeb341b/c5bfbeda-6dcf-46f9-bf85-be8bc4f42e84

>>9592760
oh damn, appreciate it

>>9580169
I wish I hadn't just masterbated. I feel like shit now, I can't find the energy to go drinking at Crosley lanes with Evan and don't think I would want to even if I could. I might try to finish painting my Madonna though I can't help but feel like I would rather just buy a preroll and slip into my lethargy with real commitment.

My grandfather accidentally hit me in the face with a length of barbed wire today.

I need to read more so I'm not a Pseud
I need to work more so I'm not a loser.
I need to go out more so I'm not ronery.
Here I am on /lit/ because it's easier than all three.

whenever travis scott shouts "it's LIT" in that autotune voice i can't help but think of u assholes

Her IM said that she wanted to know what I was into, but I knew what a dangerous trap that was. Revealing ones innermost desires seemed, at this point, a surefire way to disappointment and loneliness, but maybe this one was different...
I could feel the sweat bead on my neck as I slowly typed in my response:
"Do you like roleplay? I'll be the baby and you be the abortion doctor"

I need to get to finishing my essay

>>9583742

...third? What is the difference between Communism and Capitalism? Both rely on the worship of money and lifelong employment for no other purpose than maintaining the worship of money and lifelong employment forever.

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>>9584976

>>9593088
i unironically enjoy his adlibs


anyway i know this girl is/was a slut (shes been talking about "turning her life around" or whatever)

is pump and dump the best strategy? i've never really "hooked up" with anyone before but my gut is telling me not to get too wrapped up in her life

>>9580188
>filename

>>9594464

>i've never really "hooked up" with anyone before
Then be yourself.
>is pump and dump the best strategy?
For example you should ease up on the frat brah talk. Even ironic it comes across as corny and too self-aware.

>(shes been talking about "turning her life around" or whatever)
And yes you should avoid getting wrapped up with her in any long-term way. You will be some emotional tampon nice guy during the transition phase and then she'll discard you when she feels stable. Don't try to "save" her.

>>9580169
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

>>9581167
>I know in some ways that this should motivate me to understand how exceptionally lucky I am to even be in such a position of temporary happiness

No. This should motive you to understand that the world is Evil.

>>9591335
>The imagery and concept of the husband sucking at her teat along with the newborn is surprisingly good. - /lit/ 2017

I'm tired. My back hurts. I have to finish writing this piece. more than half of it is done, but I can't finish the rest. Why? I know what to write, I know it'll be good. But why can't I get myself to write it? I can't even keep the file open longer than 5 seconds. My back doesn't hurt anymore. Those macarons weren't very good, why did I eat them? I need to stop. Actually, I need to start. Why did I pick that programme again? Will I actually enjoy it? Will I make it through it?
Why am I writing this instead of what I really need to write. The deadline is soon. He will be very disappointed in me. He'll be sad. I'll be sad. They'll be happy. They expected this. I'm weak. No one who has this much anxiety can ever make it in the world. No one who procrastinates this much can ever get anything done. But I did so much before, and I did it so well, maybe I can do it again? How did I do it last time? What changed? My back will hurt again soon. I better get started.

>>9594600
You need to go to the drug store and buy a bottle of aleve and some coffee.

I believe in you anon, just get it done! A change of scenery may help. A coffee shop or a bar or a park. Anywhere but staying inside. Take a shower, go to the store, and plop yourself down in an unfamiliar place. I believe in you. Take some deep breaths. Anxiety should be internalized and turned into positive stress. You can do this.

>>9594607
Thank you so much Anon, thank you.

Last time will remain as
the last one
until it happens again
for the last time.
for the last time

>>9580169
i can't read anymore. i had a rebirth a few years ago, was reading nothing, then found a gateway back through douglas adams, made my way through books until i climbed mt. Ulysses. took to buying books instead of reading them. have a fairly good collection, spend all my time switching them around, shuffling so many thousands of pages, cards in a centipede's deck. all i can bring myself to read is below me, i have phantasms of pleasure reading assault me, but my conscience denies me anything that does not press me beyond my means. last full book i read was The Recognitions, before, Moby Dick. At this point I have started about 12 books since, only to lose interest before one hundred pages. Can't read Dickens, nor Tom Jones, no to Simplicissimus, never Tristram Shandy. I read some Turgenev recently, made me weep, lermontov too, less emotional response. Looting Chekhov slowly, have twenty russian books shuffling. Just want to get back to the american maximalists, want to dive back into incomprehension. Tried reading V. got mad at myself for being so sensitive. The raped girl moving her hips in the dust, asking for the pistol and the bayonet. Hoping that future readings of Pynchon go better, I need the immensity he can offer. Want to write a story about birds. Specific birds. Want to recede into solitary state, have a wife i can no longer do without. want to descend into marijuana and amphetamine fueled rants with college professors, and write a masterpiece, but can't let go of family, I see my life as two paths parallel. my origins are lost in my current path, my creativity dulled by my love, my society, my weaknesses and fears. The only way to escape is to let my mother commit suicide, my grandfather left to die alone, my wife pulled along through my various addictions until the inevitable self destruction or cuckolding. or i shall carry on in this path. this path. this path.

>>9580169
i've been drinking around 2-3 bottles of wine a week on average for about a year or so, smoking cigarettes along with it and it's probably bad for me. i've pretty much lost all my friends i don't know i just started hating them and slowly cut off with them. probably had to do with me doing nothing with my life and fearing for my future but whatever. i've also had this hypochondria that appeared a year or so ago along with fears that i might be gay or schizo but i know it probably has to do with the fact that i'm doing nothing with my life and i've cut off all social contact.
i know i need to fix it but i'm not quite sure how. i'm 26 and i feel ashamed to go to uni i know it's dumb because the longer i feel ashamed the longer i won't have a degree which will make me more ashamed and of course it's sort of stupid to feel ashamed about that but sometimes what society thinks matters and it just matters to me that i get a fucking degree but fuck i'm old and the cycle continues. as for my friends i don't even know if i like them anymore and i also don't know if they like me, it's probably more of the latter but fuck i'm really not sure at this point.
my grasp on reality has gotten better over the past few weeks as i've made an effort but it's still not good and i've been having these really pathetic dreams of people i used to know and it makes sense to me why i'm having them but it feels really shitty to on one hand be apparently disliking these people and to have dreams about hanging out. i guess i just need to man up and figure something out. i'm thinking too much about shit that doesn't matter and thinking too little about the things that matter. also there's this girl who i used to sort of have a thing for but now in my isolation i'm not sure because i haven't felt anything for a year or two it's fucking horrible she contacted me and wanted to meet but i didn't reply and she said "k fine" in the absence of my reply and now idk if she still wants to meet and idk if i want to meet because fuck i sort of get the feeling it'd be a bad idea but the exact reason i can't pin down or choose not to anyway.

>>9589113
you should try to become a boxer. go to the gym and find a trainer and learn to box.

>>9594741
you're squandering your solitude. you're disgusting. i've been you. i've been worse than you. fondly reminiscing over friends when you never really had any. you need to break further away, further into alienation. but i know not of your potential. bah. what a waste, a clean slate, if only i could steal the fates and lives of others and bend them to my will, live the lives of many, if only I were Legion. you would not have a worry in the world, my simpleton vessel.

>>9594741

Been there. In hindsight it was mostly alcoholism.

>>9594741
ugh, sorry for getting angry with you. choose society. it's what you need. you're not cut out for isolation. you need to build and cultivate relationships. not just in the sense of dating, but family and friends. clean your home once, then leave it for a week. meet people you don't know, only come home once a week to clean yourself and eat. travel. emphasize always on meeting people in healthy settings. no bars nor clubs. break through that amplified isolation of the cell phone or current events, find and connect with people, and look into their eyes. you'll have forgotten what eyes really look like, and the alienation will darken your memory more and more. escape from it, you have no hope in the pitted asylum of solitude.

>>9594793
>>9594772
i like your part about the eyes because it's true but man you sound like you have more issues than me.

I kissed with someone last night. I feel terrible. I'm so sorry.

>>9594831
well you can see the extent of my troubles here>>9594697
but i think our troubles are a wonderful way to determine our depth. without that depth of suffering, of doubt, of self loathing, how can we ever hope to achieve anything but the shallowest of resolutions? i do not even pretend what i have written is the full extent of my problems. regardless, one can easily offer truthful advice despite their station in life. truth trumps all notions of superiority and inferiority in the subject. it is a transcendant abstract. anyhow. get out of your hole. stop drinking. clean out your home, and find good company. enjoy it. it's what you want, obviously.

>>9594793
you are mentally troubled. jarringly so.

NIGGER nigger nigger nigger nigger NIGGER nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger

>>9594894
hmm maybe try getting off lit and books in general for a bit dude.

>>9594918
well, i'm sorry you feel that way. i can play the part of the conceited psyche, the ignoble soul, the hubris infected. i can be whatever society dictates. All the world's a stage.

I'm just writing what's truly on my mind. There are always filters that help us avoid the icebergs of others eh?

>>9594931
oh my dear friend. my dear friend. no. this life is a blight on me, this servitude to the love of family. this society is a blanket smothering me. so much warmth that i fear to tread anywhere but beneath it. all claws. all claws in my heart. solitude is a beautiful machine to help one travel to times unlike the now. those dusty books? gateways from this place. love and relationships? hooks, lead weights, pulling you back into the now. reminding you, splinters in your limbs. get thee hence, satan, eternal doubter, unquenchable sinner. get thee hence, wonderer.

The beauty of the natural world is only a reflection of the true
beauty, like stars reflected in a lake. The true beauty and goodness, called God by some, is invisible, seen not by the eyes, but by the mind. What you see in this world that inspires you with such feeling is only a remembrance of what your mind by nature is made to comprehend.

The proof of this is that man is not only sensible of the beauty,
symmetry and elegance of the things around him, but that he can transfer these qualities from the eyes to the mind, and embody them in purposes and actions.

>>9580169
They say thought precedes action. I say action precedes thought. In fact, we are all the products of action rather than thought, some more so than others. Live is one big reaction to the action of being thrown into this world. We accept our own thrownness and move on from there.

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>>9594928

This

>>9594793
This is the only way to go about life and not slowly lose your mind. I have tenuous connection to the people I value: friends and family. They're pretty much the only thing I consider of meaning in my life. I don't tell people this but I had a tough childhood and it was really difficult to try and bring myself out of it. I have made some wonderful friends; sincere and honest people whom I have terrible depth of affection and respect for. I can't help but think that i'm now straying too far away from them, with some level of intention. I'm kind of fed up with it but it's just very difficult for me to open up to anyone, at all. I think about how I would begin to explain what it is, exactly, that I'm feeling: I realize it would be so contrived and whiny and I couldn't ever allow myself to show someone the whole breadth of my weakness. I hate it, everybody in my childhood was a freakish mess and I absolutely despise it, to the core. At 8, I watched as my mother's occasional episodes of strangeness turned into full blown paranoid schizophrenia. I didn't fully comprehend what was happening then but I knew something was very, very wrong. It only got more bleak when she started drinking. She would get black out drunk with me and my little sister in the same room, living in our same awful little section 8 house. We would basically sit and watch as she did it, sometimes we'd try to reason with her, but she just continued on the rampant alcoholism, as if it was an unassailable mission to drown herself of every horrible consideration that was possible. She went on until she was barely able to function - there was trash and liquor strewn everywhere and literally thousands of cigarette butts left lying around, holes burnt into most every furniture in the house. I watched her turn from the woman whom I relied on as my only semblance of support - my unmarried single mother, into this horrible, reeling, lurid creature and it ingrained a certain understanding in me that life is so chancy and unforgiving and that monsters really do exist.
I managed to distance myself from that place, but I can't really claim things are any much better now. My little sister isn't fine, that's for sure. I think she's just stuck in this numb shock that won't ever really be broken, It took her sense of self esteem and flushed it down forever. She's having heart problems due to the anxiety. I'm going to leave my home area for a long time. It's sort of a general air here, a strain that I can't get away from. I'm getting certifications to leave and teach English abroad, as naive as it sounds. I'm so tired of being a cynic and I really do want to see some of the world, experience a different culture or two, possibly meet some new people. I know it's an ugly world with a lot of problems, a lot of things I'll never really be able to address and fix myself, but maybe there's something to be had elsewhere.

Sorry for going on a tangent. I just think this is important.

>>9595371
leaving will be the hardest thing for you to do, but from the sound of it, it will be the best for you.

i am too trapped by guilt and fear, and will probably never escape to live a life of my own. i envy you that, at least. good luck in your endeavors.

How do you deal with constant loneliness /lit/? I've managed it alright for a couple years now, but overtime i've noticed it's started to bleed into my writings and thoughts.

I just want to keep them separate. I just want it to end. Any advice?

The memories of her have become mangled and vague. They used to cause me great pain, but now they're just "there", meaningless and distorted.

Did I win?

>>9595663
Do you have other passions that move you?

If so, then you did. If she was the only thing that made you feel, then you did not.
>>9595596
Go out and make friends.

>>9581999

Made for /pol/ by a /mu/tant

>>9580524
>LARPing
wew

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>>9590302

I'm tempted to write a huge long email to the editor of The Intercept on how they don't understand the devout Christian point of view and it's a massive hole in their writing on certain issues, particularly ISIS and European Muslims. But then I wonder if it's even worth the trouble.

>>9596468
it's worth the effort
you can turn it later into a blog

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>>9588875

Thanks for your comments, guys

>>9588875
>I feel like people would just keep their mouth shut and then talk behind one another's back, or just socially pull away from the person who pisses them off.
If it's written in a unique enough style, this scene could also work just as well.

I am a neet and I don't know what to do with myself.

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I have nothing to say because I've no-one to say it to. There is nothing as can be conveyed to an other. The niceties of my intent here too will be lost.

>>9594697
the fuck is this shit.

I love my new lamp

>>9594464
>is pump and dump the best strategy?

whenever i try to pump and dump i always catch feelings and she doesn't, it's like some weird karma, i stopped doing that shit, even if it seems like a fun casual lay with a hot chick, i'm just not cut out for hookup culture, what can i say

>>9597049
Anon, maybe I can only offer you abstractions over the internet – I don't know who you are, so how can I love you? And yet I do, and would listen to and hear you, as I hope you hear me now. You don't have to tell me, you ca say it in your conscience to the darkness as you fall asleep. But there is a way in which I'll hear it, because it's only for lack of volume that the message didn't reach me, and I was listening for it.

I hope i get another surge of inspiration, so i can finish all my fragmented poems.

i was laying in bed listening to the audiobook of "Evicted" which i thought would be a critique of the American post-bubble housing market, but it was actually just poverty porn...anyways, there was one thing i got out of it...HALT an acronym from AA to remind you when you are weakest against addiction: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. i got sent to a lot of AA meetings by the courts as a teen and i never heard that before, and i have family members who swear their life on AA and i never heard it from them either, maybe because I was always more of a binge type than addict, but anyways...i found it pretty useful

Where the hell is my orange tank top?

>>9597046

Do some online tutorials. Just go to YouTube and find something to learn.

starting to think I got the 'tism

aww shit WWDC 2017 about to start any minute, stay salty anti-consumerists, Apple is GOAT

>>9599482
eighteen core xeon imac pro? oh fuck oh fuck

>>9599482
>>9599661

so i went to /g/ in the spirit of staying on-topic...bunch of spergs posting rage comics, wow, that really has to be one of the lamest places to discuss technology on the whole internet

I should buy another fantasy book similar to 'The Faithful and the Fallen' series

>>9580169
A HAT

this song is kind of ok

my eyes are dry now

I want to fuck her again. I want to make her cry with my penis like I did the second time we had sex. She deserves the pain, she knows how to use it to better herself after all.

Just got rejected from a journal I thought I had a real shot at. My story was well written and I thought had an original enough shtick they were gonna gobble up. If I'd been accepted it would have meant the world to me, and I think would have been really good for my career. Oh well. There are other journals, there are other editions. I won't let this discourage me.

>>9601281
Send it to all the journals. Marketing is basically a numbers game for that 1% score.

>>9580169
Googles AI is going to kill us all.

A bunch of dumb smug tech faggots, who can't even lift 20lbs are going to kill the entire human race.

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It was tea time. A time they shared regardless of where they were. The sips of various teas taken at different locations while thinking of one another seemed transcendent. They weren't using the same watches and rarely if ever were they drinking at the same time. Three could be seven in another's time zone and it wasn't like 3 o'clock was an agreed upon time...

Some /Lit/terati wondered; was this bond an essentialism?

>>9580524
>looks in mirror

checks out

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I wish I could feel the feeling of being a part of something bigger than myself.

Like when people do the midnight showings of rocky horror and everyone participates and has a good time. But the theaters aren't packed like they would have been back in the 80s. Packed. When the wit was fresh. When cross-dressing was shocking. When they were a minority of people pushing boundaries and having fun. It's just a bunch of fedora highschool graduates now. The type of people that go to anime conventions and shout butt-scratcher and the game. Its stale and dead now.

>>9601293
I will/have but this one was tailor made for this edition's theme, which is why I thought I had a decent chance

>>9601306
We just need to convert the AI to Christianity. I'm already preparing my arguments.

I wish I could write.
So my need for worldbuilding could have a point.
Want to create a "steampunk" world with magic. Like taking out the hysterical out of Imperium of Man + "magic" and setting it in one world.
A world of magic has no use for electrical technology, and other things. Sure scientist can invent it, but there's no demand for buying light bulbs when anyone can ignite tiny sparks in their hands, with some concentration.

Guess learning to write dialogue is half struggle.

>>9580169
My table is a pulsating, twitching mound of books. Mostly short storeis but there is the occasional massive 700+ paperback, struggling to breath the dank air. Not to mentioned the photograph, art, and two 1000k+ hardcovers. I've not finished done of them and I'm reading two other books. Why do I read so many books at once? I dont know but it never starts out that way. Usually I clear the pile of books and pick up just one aftwerwards, but I have a very short attention span and a long list of unread books.

>>9601737
>and really bad grammar

holy shit whats wrong with me I'm not even high

I'm sitting here watching the directv symbol bounce around my television while contemplating my life and I noticed that for a brief moment my eyes focused on the 'dire' part of directv.

i am ripped on mad doobies right now, thank you blessed moon cat who travels over the rainbow of anguish through a pile of unicorn corpses bare and laid with shit, drenched in their blood and sunk to the mud. Thank you war balloon filled with gas and oil and hatred, spitting machineguns and blaring horns to the sounds of flying machines crashing into the earth beneath them. Thank you big dick.

Im a mediocre talent in an incredibly awful shallow industry and I'm trying really hard to not smoke a cigarette and my nose still hurts from all the cocaine and cialis I did this weekend to not* get laid with this chick while my buddy banged his gf in the other room of a log cabin with paper thin walls

>>9580169
KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL. KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
I ate his liver with fava beans and a side of CVNT. NIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERWAWAAAAAANIGGERWANIGGERWA-WA

>>9590202
I was having a discussing in lieu of this earlier with a person from /lit/, coincidentally. The person was wondering whether there's a chance Arabic literature can be propelled into "modernity" as had the West, and to be honest I never considered the question.

As a native Arabic speaker - even with the flowery language, even with the subject-object sentence dance and the twirls and curlicues and the hay and say - after all this, I was surprised that after a very long time of taking grammar classes that it is all pretense.

All language masquerades beyond its inherent use, but Arabic does it fascinatingly well. If you take a class in I'rab (language cases), or Qawa'id al-Lugha (dictum and the holy etc.), Nahu (syntax) or Tasreef (morphology) you will begin to appreciate how and why simple things as diacritics were laid to begin with: why, say, we assign different sounds to case systems, despite its malleability.

Though to approach home with your point, I think the Quraan is mainly to blame for creating a monopoly on Arabic - which was a genius move by Muhammad, I suppose. Classical Arabic (which isn't exactly classical, it's a bastardized standard washed in water, ice and snow) is the speak of politicians, of clerics, of the pious and the pretend-pious. And the puritans have been banking on it for so long that Arabic, I feel, is becoming reduced to familiar sounds that are repeated throughout the day. All the Friday sermons sound the same, echo the same, mean the same. The politicians speak the same spiel, the pious say the same prayers, the beggar says the same words: because people are quite terribly frightened - or perhaps, they just can't imagine a way - of recreating the Organic Arabic.

I used to be a puritan - couldn't stand the Egyptian dialect, remember telling a journalist I thought it was a language for dirty people. I honestly don't know how I would approach the problem, because Arabic is so vast and imperceptibly clever with hiding its dates from the eye of the sun that, I guess, no one man can give a comprehensive answer as to how people in the Middle East are phenomenologically transformed by how crooked their language is - despite how nice it looks when it bends.

It's a facade.

>>9594955
I'm less disgusted by your mentality than by your purple prose.