Depression, blogposting, need to read

>>7328073

Btw, I have stated some things particularly simplistically to the point of seeming fatuous. How can you capture years in a sentence? Try not to get caught up.

>>7328081
The power of now by eckhart tolle

>>7328102

Thank you, I'll give it a look.

>>7328081
Ive tried to kill myself when I was 8, and had been wishing for death quite feverently, thinking that an end of everything would be the best.
Personally listening to music that encompasses the emptiness that I have often felt worked for me
Explosions in the sky
Mogwai
Brand new
Low roar

I then delved into finding more about creative people that I admire, as I draw myself. Vincent Van Gogh, Robert crumb, and a lot of creative people are all quite manic depressed, you would find.
Recently I couldn't find it in me to draw anything, I haven't drawn for 3 weeks now (even though it's my career)
I want to burn everything I drew because I hate it and I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
Recently someone nice had asked me out and I complied
He had greater feelings for me than I do for him and I do not know whether I should continue seeing him or call it quits. I get anxious and I don't think I want to waste his time with me because I don't feel anything.
I'm sorry this ended up more like a rant but I'm sitting down on the floor in a crowded train and I feel so alone.

>>7328073
Delve into stoic philosophy
Meditations by Marcus Aerelius
The book of five rings by musashi

>>7328121
you seem interesting, would you like to chat? not on 4chan ofc
>no ulterior motives

>>7328149
>interesting
That's a nice way of saying bi-polar and crazy
Let's just talk here. What music do you listen to?

>>7328165
Jamaican punk pop

>>7328177
Are you a weed smoker?

>>7328165
everything really. i've listened to mogwai and other more well-known post-rock artists (slint, tortoise, bark psychosis) and i'm really into jazz (thundercat is my latest obsession) oh and i absolutely despise most of the music from the 80's.. among other things also rock, 40/50's pop songs (amazing vocals), and all sorts of electronic music.

how about you? oh and, tea or coffee?

>>7328144

Thank you for your suggestions.

>>7328185
also into indie such as All american rejects, Mcr and fallout boy. They are my guilty pleasures

>>7328197
impostor please

>>7328199
Nice talking to yourself , your thread sucks saged

read the sticky or go to >>>/r9k/

>>7328165
this >>7328185,>>7328149
is me. ill give you my throwaway email, do message me if you feel like talking.
>[email protected]

>>7328235
Will do, up for cam?

>>7328239
don't have one, sorry

>>7328217
>To cure despair you ultimately need Jesus Christ (see Kierkegaard's book). All the other religions and creeds and philosophies are ultimately statements of despair. Christianity is the only religion/creed/philosophy of hope, or "hope beyond hope", as St. Paul says.
*tips fedora*

>>7328217
In Islam, despair/yaas is a sin because it means a rejection of God's essence of Hope. Not sure about other religions.

>>7328272
Yaas/despair is the second greatest sin after shirk/affirmed rejection of God in Islam.

I'm just making the point that you shouldn't comment on other theologies if you haven't studied them.

Thanks for the information though.

>>7328121
>>7328149
Kill yourselves you self obsessed worthless fucks.

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1MB, 4096x2731px

>>7328073
Read the myth of Sisyphus

If you're theistic then take solace in that, because there's nothing conceivably more comforting than the idea of guaranteed eternal bliss.

But, if you're existential than the only answer is to try and develop your own absurdist meaning to life.

I wouldn't consider myself depressed, we live in such an ironic, stimulated, consumptive, amusement-filled time that its easy to distract yourself.

But truly the best way to stay the most STABLE is to develop discipline. Recognize the things that trigger depressive episodes and either isolate or conquer them. If you're depressed by a lack of intimacy than you have no one to blame but yourself for not working to change that

Believe that you're too ugly for that? Then why waste time thinking of it, spend that time realizing your artistic or material goals. 90% or so of the planet puts god knows how much time into the opposite sex, if you harnessed all of that into one endeavor you'd succeed.

Its going to be difficult, and you should seek therapy if it really is diagnosed depression, but the end-goal is to be your own therapist. You won't get immediate and lasting endurance without putting yourself as the final authority.

Good luck OP.

>tfw the person you talk to about your depression is often the cause of that depression
this is a new type of hell

>>7328264
I'm pretty sure those two people weren't meant to be the same Lazarus, anon.

>>7328073
Are you the type that flourishes under pessimism?

I always find solace in writers who think the world a shit, like Schopenhauer or Cioran.

>>7328497
I'd second Cioran. I was diagnosed with depression at 14 and I'm still depressed at 22 like op. My depression's never been episodic though just a constant. I'm reading Meditations now too and it's ok.

>>7328497
>>7328501
Thanks for this recommendation. I really, really enjoy Schopenhauer, so delighted to find similar authors. Are there any specific works of Cioran I should focus on?

>>7328523
On the Heights of Despair is the first one people always recommend.

>>7328121

yeah you should go see a therapist

books (alone) are not therapy and cannot make you happy or well