Cis Lesbian general (/clg/): Yoga Pants Edition Should you

>>8818895
that recent news is OLD

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>>8818895
>dat ass

first for trans girls are real girls

>>8818895
I hate yoga pants so much

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>>8818750
Depends. Could I still do fostering/hospice? The cats would either die or get adopted out in a few weeks or months.

>>8818914
Missed by a mile you delusional man.

>>8818921
I live in yoga pants and leggings when it's cold. Fuck pants.

>>8818941
Leggings with a big t-shirt is the greatest feel ever.

>>8818935
Oooh, that does make my inner wannabe effective altruist bone tingle.
Mainly it's just best if they're:
- constrained to particular parts of the house
- have their own blankets and cat furniture that get cleaned semi-regularly
- brushed (according to their fur type / species needs) so they shed a bit less
But if cat is life and they're on the bed, sofa, the laundry basket or linen closet, and kitchen table I will die (OK, not really).
I dunno if my list of needs sounds unreasonable or not, but I do know that it isn't compatible with meme lesbianism.

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>>8818941
I pretty much live in athletic apparel these days when I'm not at work, but leggings+a big sweater+boots is a good feel when it's cold.

I'm definitely getting one of those dumb keyhole turtlenecks this season. Even if I won't fill it out that well. (Yes I absolutely picked that picture from google search because of JoJos)

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What's the dominant/submissive split in the lesbian community?

What're you all up to, anons?

Most exciting thing I did today was "al fresco dining" where I ate a lukewarm burger on a concrete wall. Tell me your lives are going better.

>>8818989
Waiting for my laundry to finish and procrastinating on homework.

Anyone have cool ideas for an observational experiment?

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>>8818966
I can make this work. Deal.

Alternately, I pay for your allergy shots and compensate you with vigorous oral every time you need to go get your poke.

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>>8818972
I live in the south now, so the time that it's cold enough for my beloved leggings + sweater combo is drastically later in the season. I could never get into the keyhole sweater trend, though. I would be more tempted than usual, to, like, shove my phone in there. And my best friend hates when I store small items in my bra and will probably disown me. Still, I'll bet you'll look cute in it.

>>8818972
>>8819048
Wait people actually wear those? I thought it was just a cringey pixiv/twitter trend that had long since died.

>>8818941
>Fuck pants

This, but also fuck yoga pants. No pants are best pants.

>>8818941
Pyjama pants are the only good pants.

>>8819048
>when I store small items in my bra
The only time I saw a girl doing this was 5 years ago or so, and it was a morbidly obese thing wearing a tank top and some slim pants. Her breasts literally ate her phone. Nightmarish.

>>8819008
holy fuck, anon, marry me now.
My ex gf didn't completely understand that even with allergy pills I couldn't go cuddling her cat - or her in her cat dander covered sweater. She thought I hated her cat, which, yes, but also no.
I can't show love to them (physical affection), but I do respect them a lot as living beings. Living beings that cause me physical discomfort through no fault of there own... so you running a cat hospice is really doing it for me, anon, lol.

>>8818801
That's the best thing someone's ever said to me.

>>8818989
>Most exciting thing I did today was "al fresco dining" where I ate a lukewarm burger on a concrete wall.

Doing that with a qt seems like a comfy activity.
Either way I just made some travel plans for the rest of the month, and now I'll get back to dat backlog so I can go on trips in peace.

>>8819066
Just curious, how old are you? I'm 20, and I remember a lot of girls doing this in late middle school / early high school.
The only person in my friend group right now who does it is a fat girl, but she has big boobs even when she's a healthy weight...
>>8819048
Keyhole sweaters in the sun make for interesting tan lines lol

>>8819086
Ten years older than you. She was in her twenties, I guess.

>>8819086
>>8819095
I'm older (not fat) and I used to store my music player there (tucked under a boob) when doing manual labour -- it kept all cords out of the way and there was very little risk of it falling out even when working at weird angles.

>>8819066
Oh, I promise that I'm not a hambeast. I just don't have a lot of pockets usually, and me and my friends go to theme parks a lot on our days off so I hate carrying a bag too.
I don't even do it that often, mostly if we're going on rides and I need my hands free.

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>>8819076
>>8818989
I agree. "al fresco dining" can even be comfy when alone, esp. if you're in a tranquil tortured artist style mood.

>>8819125
w2c tranquil tortured artist style mood/gf?

>>8819095
I think it might just slightly be a generational thing. People who grew up with cellphones/ipods are more likely to do it.

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Cis privilege is being able to walk around in yoga pants without worrying about humiliating yourself when your 9 inch clit gets erect. Check your fucking privilege, cis-cunts.

>>8819136
tbqhon wut

>>8819133
>cellphones/ipods
We already had cellphones and ipods in junoir and high school, and pretty much none of the girls did that.
And we also had internet and google, incredible, right?

>>8819155
*junior

>>8819136
Kys Matt.

>>8819155
Calm down, ya GILF, I know you weren't riding to school on the dinosaurs nor churning your own butter, but how many kids in 1999-2005 had cell phones versus 2009-2015?
Also, I've only ever seen people store smart phones or "non smart" wide and flat PDA-looking phones in their boobs, not flip/clamshell or candy bar phones. (Although I imagine at least some people have, lol.)

>>8819209
>how many kids in 1999-2005 had cell phones
At least 80/90% of them, in the schools I've been. It wasn't as expensive as it is nowadays.

>>8818989
trying to cope with the fact one of my friends has left for london and i wont see her till christmas, i know it doesn't seem long but i hate change and i always got through the week knowing i could see her cute face at the end and it would make me happy . ;-;

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>>8819167
The meme is back!

>>8819209
Different senior here, but I had an old razr and it kinda fit. There were also a lot of small mp3 players before the iPod showed up. Yeah they were only 128MB if you were lucky but they were smaller than the pre-shuffle gens and would fit in a bra.

The adoption of cellphones was pretty rapid, few kids my age had one in 1998 but most did by two years later.

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>>8819075
Show me the ring, babe.

No allergies here, but I 100% understand people not wanting to feel constantly low-key sick or drugged just for the sake of their partner's pet preferences. The only real dealbreaker is girls who hate cats/animals. There's no need for that, it's dumb and cunty.

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>>8819265
>small mp3 players
I had that one when I was 11/12. Happier times.

>>8819286
I got a 32MB one when I was 12, but it connected via 25pin parallel and that was not a good time. So hard to make the device and the computer talk to each other.

>>8819286
Had a 64Mb, usb. Easy to use and all.

>>8819376
>>8819363

>>8819228
>1999
I'm calling bullshit on that because I was in a college full of rich kids then and most didn't have cell phones.

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>>8819209
>>8819228
Here you go.

>>8819438
How old are you, mama? You into younger women?

>>8819463
I have a gf.

>>8819472
I wont tell if you wont

>>8819048
Yaaaay! Another Southerner. Although I'm in Georgia it's actually getting a little cooler. I love fall weather so I stubbornly start to dress for it sometime in early September even if it's not quite cool enough yet. I'm willing to suffer.

I'm damn jealous that you can fit stuff in your cleavage, though! My boobs have grown since I started lifting, but they're still pretty modest. I can't quite successfully hide stuff unless I'm in a sports bra.

>>8819054
I don't know about everyone else here, but it's long been established that I have questionable fashion sense.

>>8819461
Thing is, I'm not american.

>>8819482
I have questionable fashion sense, too, so I try not to judge.
I was meeting up with a friend once but started walking to the wrong (but nearby) location. They saw me and jogged up to me saying, very affectionately, "I wasn't sure if it was you from that far away but then I was like 'only Anon would wear those two colors together'." Still makes me laugh lol

>>8819494
Where are you from where teen phone ownership would be so much higher than the US back then? Pretty sure the US was always ahead of the curve on mobile technology.

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>>8819501
I can match colors (mostly because I stick to black), but I just unironically like shit like pic related. Other than that it's tracksuits and athletic wear mostly.

> 'only Anon would wear those two colors together'.

Awh! I'm sure you looked great. What to colors were they?

>>8819562
France. Half my junior high school had a phone in 2002, and most of my high school had a phone in 2005. Everyone needed to hand them over while in tests, and besides one or two person, everybody in my class had one.

>>8819573
>colors
Cyan and dark green, I think.

>>8819562
>>8819602
I'm from Denmark, everyone in my class had a phone around the same time as French anon.

>>8819606
Depending on the shade of green that's not that bad?

>>8819602
>>8819612
US 2004 - 45% ownership
France and Denmark 2002 - 50% ownership
US - 2006 63% ownership
France and Denmark - "most"

There's not much of a difference between your experience and what's reported in the Pew study in the US. The difference can be accounted for when you consider teenagers not in school or in poorer areas than you attended.

>>8819633
I mean, I liked it, but I no longer have either clothing item so I'm not sure what my current eyes would say about it lol. I wasn't too insulted by my friend's comment, they weren't too fashionable either so it was more ribbing than bitchy.

>>8818895
How dare you, OP. Yoga pants are my absolute weakness. I'm helpless against any girl wearing them.

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>>8819285
Is a ring pop okay?

Yeah, my ex-gf was sort of dubious my allergies even existed at first. Until she got a cat and I stayed the night in her newly cat fur infested bed after taking a 4-6 hour pill (stupid on my part) and gave a convincing performance of someone dying of consumption in my sleep from 1am onwards. (No blood, but just constant coughing and weird breathing noises that woke both of us up several times.)
Tbqh I sort of resented her getting a cat mid-relationship and not taking my allergies seriously. They're not fatal, and it sounds controlling to say "getting a cat ruined our relationship" or something because it didn't, so I am probably am a teense cunty - but I like to think I wouldn't put anything she was allergic to in my environment, I'm one of those people who asks if someone has an allergy or sensitivity if I'm about to contaminate an area somehow (eat something messy or smelly/aromatic, use a sharpie or perfume, etc.). But, hey, we broke up and now she can cuddle with the cat in bed as much as she wants... so, it's good she didn't listen to my opinions on the subject.

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>>8819833
Well then, enjoy.

>>8819903
Dang. Anonymous pics of fat people of the internet reminds me I need to lose weight or face the same fate. (Although maybe I should hold out, apparently as a population we're all getting fatter to the point pic related will be "heathfully plump" and I can be "toned" in comparison loljk.)

>>8819930
>tfw tomorrow I start my shake diet, no eating for a month
I'm not even fucking fat i'm p average why do I do this to myself every few months

Just happened

>going out to mow lawn
>truck parked half on right-of-way/ half on sidewalk
>who's truck is that?
>never seen it before
>neighbor's drive-ways all have space for a guest's car
>because it gives a better idea of the owner, the truck is a 4-door mitsubishi truck the kind with a tiny bed not able to haul much and is either new or well-maintained
>not a work truck but the kind of truck someone has for cultural reasons
>w/e
>I'll come back and mow that section after the truck is gone
>start mowing front lawn
>hear yelling
>look up
>guy and friend marching t'ward me
>30ft. away
>large hand gestures
>turn off lawn mower and pull out ear buds
>hear mid sentence
>'...wrong time to mow the lawn'
>how dare you
>yell back 'You can't even park there. It's on a curve.'
>'I don't see a sign'
>'Whad'ya mean,' suddenly I'm Italian 'you don't have a license?'
>20ft. away
>'Ooh little miss rules' mummbles mummbles
>'I'm just mowin' my lawn.'
>the owners friend silent mike crosses around the truck walking directly t'ward me
>here we go
>two vs one and a lawn-mower
>owner says in a now quieter voice 'Alright, I'll move my truck'
>'O-ok'
>silent mike gets in the passenger side
>owner 'I won't park here again'
>wh-yes, good I um yes
>wait 'til they leave to turn mower on again
>mow lawn
>well I'll be damned that ended better than expected


Pleasantly surprised.
My theory is that we didn't fight because I was not a push-over and he didn't want to fight anyway.
Mostly the latter reason.

>>8820094
Why is your story so long and so pointless?

>>8818966
>>8819008
Cats are dumb. Get a turtle.

>>8820138
>Cats are dumb.
Shut your whore mouth.

>>8820147
t. toxoplasmosis victim

>>8820138
tl;dr
>man yells at me
>i yell back
>man is suddenly polite

>>8820155
What if there was a fungus that parasitized women and because it only affects women it alters its victims to bring themselves into proximity with other women and we're all victims?

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>>8820169

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>>8820169
You mean lesbianism is just the by product of a parasite?!

All I can say is show me these parasites... I have a job to do and some straight friends to talk to!

>>8820202
Homosexuality is an std AND you can get it from a toilet seat.

>>8820169
I think that was pretty much the plot of stratos4, though it was an alien disease or something.

>>8820147
Cat hair in your food. Cat hair on your furniture. Cat hair on your clothes. Cat hair, cat hair, cat hair.

>>8820277
Behold the life saving STD called FAG

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>>8820328
I forgot quite how hilariously dumb this show was.

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>>8820372
>>8820155
Yeah and? Life is better with cats and you are just wrong. Girls also like other girls with cats more too soooo...

>>8820481
>girls also like other girls with cats too soooo
except for >>8820138
>>8820155
>>8818966
so there's hope for non-cat-liking people.

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>>8820372
Step 1: brush kot regularly
Step 2: vacuum regularly
Step 3: remember dogs shed too
Step 4: ???
Step 5: ascend to a higher plane of lesbianism

/clg/ would you date a cop?

>>8820685
Is this a real question? Yes.

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Hello lesgen. I am now Internet prostituting myself. I will do whatever you want for money. No males pls.

You can send me an e-mail here
[email protected]

t. kek

>>8820747
>@cock.li
hmm

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>>8820793
I can create an e-mail address with any of the following if you prefer:
airmail.cc
8c*an.co
redchan.it
420blaze.it
aaathats3as.com
cumallover.me
dicksinhisan.us
loves.dicksinhisan.us
wants.dicksinhisan.us
dicksinmyan.us
loves.dicksinmyan.us
wants.dicksinmyan.us
goat.si
horsefucker.org
national.shitposting.agency
nigge.rs
tfwno.gf
cock.lu
cock.email
firemail.cc
hitler.rocks
getbackinthe.kitchen
memeware.net
cocaine.ninja
waifu.club
rape.lol

>>8820811
>cocaine.ninja
kek
New screen name right there.

>>8820811
slash g is that you?

>>8820747
>notalolicon
Wasn't that some other anon's skype?

>>8818941
you are a THOT wear a skirt over them

>>8820870
I probably took inspiration from that.

>>8820876
Did your interview go badly?

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>>8820902
I guess you could say so.

>>8820941
So you're switching tracks from call centre to call girl?

>>8820941
What happened?

>>8820685
>terrified of police brutality
>also really into the idea of a qt cop fucking me with her baton, over the roof of her cruiser
I'm conflicted
>>8820873
Sometimes I do wear a skirt or long enough sweater. But sometimes you just wanna wear a crop top with your leggings.

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>>8821074
I can get behind your fantasy but not the baton part... just doesn't seem appealing. But I guess that's half the fun of power fantasies.

>>8821173
Wait, not those. I mean the regular nightstick things.

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>tfw no gf to watch GameCenter CX with and chuckle at Arinon's shitty jokes

>>8821241
I know you meant the regular ones and I was talking about those, too. I chose that pic to make a joke in the filename.

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>>8821248
>tfw no gf to cuddle you on the couch while you play Mega Man X and other old SNES games

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>>8821323
>tfw you mentioned Mega Man X and not 2

(X is good too, I'm giving you shit. But 2 is best.)

>>8821339
I know, but a copy of 2 is either impossible to find or way over priced.

One nice thing about having a brother with good taste in games I can borrow from his collection whenever I want.

>>8821367
That's fair. Good thing I have access to a hacked Wii.

Come over and snuggle with me while experiencing the true classics, anon.

Holy shit, there's a queer female-aimed sorority recruiting on my campus and the only group they don't allow in is cis men, while they allow transbians. I am cackling.

>>8821003
They told me that the job was too far away from my house and that I wouldn't be able to cover the 6AM shift if necessary. So yeah, no job after all.

I will just kys.

>>8821404
>using the Virgin hacked console/roms and not the Chad original hardware

although tbhon I can't really give anyone shit for that, if it wasn't for my brother being both rich and really into retro game collecting I'd do the same thing

>>8821456
Sorry to hear that. Keep looking though, as others here have mentioned: it can take many unsuccessful attempts before you eventually land a job.

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>>8821456
You're gonna be okay, Kek.

>>8820685
Only if we get to play with the handcuffs :^3

>>8821609
As someone who has lost a key to a pair of legit handcuffs, I wouldn't recommend

>>8821701
Just keep a Dremel on hand... and someone you trust with a Dremel near your bare skin.

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>>8821701
>>8821711
The metal part of a small binder clip fits most standard handcuffs without the second hole. Pinch it to separate it from the black part.

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>>8819076
>That's the best thing someone's ever said to me.
You're very welcome, anony.
As my wife, entertain me while I'm stuck working the night shift. I've got 6 hours to go and it's a very slow night.

>>8820169
The Les of Us: Remastered

>>8820747
Will you read me all 3 LOTR books for 30 shekels?

>>8820094
YOU ARE BORING! GET YOUR INTERESTING FACTs PRIORITIES STRAIGHT UP SON!

Irma coming our way next Floridanons
start planning

>>8821943
RIP Florida anons. It was fun shitposting with y'all.

>>8818979
lesbians have a higher proportion of doms than straight women do, but most lesbians are still subs.

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>>8821943
>mfw Irma hits Florida then goes to the gulf and makes a second landfall in Houston to finish off what Harvey didn't

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>>8821943
>ywn die in a hurricane

>>8818989
I -- I think that's the first time I've been asked that question all day. I wish I could say my life was better. I wish, but no.
I've been trying to make it on my own after graduating college, but I haven't done anything, and I need to decide if I'm going to move home again. I got a really sweet art degree from a nice University, and left school with a few connections, but somehow I pissed it away over the past 2 years. I can't make sense of it. I've been working crappy service jobs to pay the bills, but it feels like my life is slowing down around me, turning into morasses. Service jobs, and I'm no closer to doing something with my degree than I was 2 years ago. I don't understand it. I wish I knew what was holding me back, but I don't. I wish I knew what was holding me back, but I don't.
I hope your burger was delicious, anon.

>>8822171
>I -- I think that's the first time I've been asked that question all day.
Oh, poor baby. You went a WHOLE DAY without someone asking you to talk about yourself? Starving orphans have nothing on you.

>>8822171
Why don't you go back to school to further your degree or get a new one?

>tfw so many k-pop goddesses are about to get microwaved by commies
>tfw you were almost ready to travel to SK to see them irl
time to buy 2 pizzas and suffocate myself between them.

>>8822247
You have good taste in women's butts, gaybro.

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>>8822244
NK isn't going to do shit. If they do, they'll get nuked by us.

>>8822171
>arts degree
>struggling with good employment
gee I wonder

>>8822271
They don't need to get nuked, they can be defeated with conventional warfare. The problem is Seoul is only 35 miles from the DMZ, so NK can bomb the shit out of it within minutes. You can't anti-ballistic everything when a missle takes seconds to reach its destination. Any war with NK will kill millions of South Koreans.
But NK has been threatening the same shit for years. We're more likely to suffer from Trump's dumbass trade policies.

>>8822200
She should've expressed it as
>tfw no gf to ask "what're you up to, anon?"
and you'd be all >tfw >tfw >tfw gif

>>8822171
>no closer to doing something with my degree than I was 2 years ago
What's your degree anon? Do you want some anonymous career advice from neets on the internet?

>>8822295
Yeah, she should have.

>>8822300
Do you have a porfolio? Do you keep your eyes open for gigs to build your portfolio?
Did you do any internships while at school?
Do your connections/mentors pass on job/gig openings that they hear about to you? Do they know your skills/talents/strengths to better do that? Have you done coffee with any of them recently?
Is there a community org near you where your skills/talents can be applied to build your portfolio and/or local presence?
t. neet who has no right to question ya ;-)

>>8819048
>>8819482
>At least two other southerners.

Alabama reporting in. Not sure whether to be happy or start getting nervous.

>>8822317
Time to add to the map: https://zeemaps.com/map?group=2622710
To add your location
>click additions
>add marker - simple
>enter location
>submit

>>8822330
That seems like an incredibly naive and probably stupid idea, random anonymous internet stranger.

>>8822343
Welp, various groups on this board (other boards too) including ours has been using zeemaps for years. I haven't heard of anyone getting murdered in their sleep yet for leaving a dot on a map.

>>8821943
Cat5 hurricane. McBurger get ready to blast your ass out of Florida.

>>8822374
Just because you haven't heard of it, doesn't mean it didn't happen

>>8822626
yana and her folks gonna hole up at my place
I'm on the 3rd floor and spent $300 on MREs last tax return
they're bringing water, gas and a generator
gonna be a bitch getting it up and down stairs but it'll be worth it

>>8821943
>tfw soon all the USAnons will be ded and the Europoors will finally take over

>>8822646
Take all the food at your McDonald's restaurant and store it at your apartment. It's the only way you will survive this monster of a storm.

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>>8822657
/clg/ will be boring and dead without us.
Admit it yuropoors, you'll miss us dearly.

>>8822674
Not when at least half of the american "lesbians" are actually men or bisluts.

>>8822674
All the cool anons are US anyway :^)

>>8822686
Well, you'll miss the other half that aren't men or bisloots.

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>>8822706
The Europeans have that little army of French Fries that think they are very clever when they post in frenchy while knowing very well that I can't understand a damn word they posted. Then I copy/paste it to Google translate and when it translates it to English, it makes no fucking sense.

>>8822708
Don't most of them have a girlfriend anyway?

>>8822744
C'est balot, hein ?

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>>8822752
See. One of the Fries is here doing it again.

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>>8821762
Oh Anon, it was 8AM in my timezone.
I can make up for it by providing you with my own kind of slow night later, though.

>tfw your wet dreams aren't even sex just you masturbating
wew

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>>8822760
>tfw your multi-lingual gf can tell you what anyone is saying in 4 different languages.

>>8822952
Which languages does your gf know?

>>8822999
French, Spanish, English, Japanese and some regional West European regional dialect that I can't remember right now.

>>8821943
>tfw have a first floor apartment that's 10 feet from a lake
Guess I'm drowning in my sleep, guys.

>>8822952
>tfw no gf to be the multi-lingual gf for

>>8823002
>French, Spanish, English, Japanese
Same as me. Also know some italian.

death pls

>>8823651
same

>>8823651
It is killed. Did the hurricane kill all the burgers already?

>>8823715
probably
>>8823668
double funeral ? i'll pay if u want

>>8823715
no i'm still alive guys

>>8823715
Hurricane Irma doesn't hit FL until the weekend. Harvey killed less than 100 people.

>>8823731
who cares. just cremate me and throw the ashes in a dumpster or something.

>>8823771
fairs im thinking more just throw my body in a sewer. well that is if anyone cares enough to throw it out.

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>>8823780
i don't care what happens to my body i literally just want to die lmao

>>8823804
same, too much off a pussy to kms, almost got hit by a speeding car on sunday wish my friend hadn't pulled me at the last second,

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>>8819711
Yeah, I wouldn't call myself a fashion plate either. My tastes are way too wild/flashy/tacky.

>>8822317
There's another qt anon from Louisiana here, too.

>>8822330
Maps are dope.

>tfw you spent over an hour overtime at work struggling with the printer at because it kept fucking up your maps only to discover that said maps were probably corrupted at some point and you'll have to redo them tomorrow

>>8822940
>tfw your wet dreams are kissing attractive girls but still getting turned on
>the your one sex dream was an ugly fat girl eating you out
What the fuck.

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>>8823811
right? like I feel like I've been bullied out of suicide at this point, plus i'm just a total pussy when it comes down to it, so i'm just sort of waffling through life waiting for it to end. Do you ever see like terminal cancer patients or ppl who are about to die on TV or whatever and just get SUPER jealous? Like can you imagine the relief of knowing its all going to end soon? I stay awake thinking about how good that would feel sometimes.

>>8823839
>chubby chaser in denial
fatGirlsKnowHowToEat.jpg

>>8823839
>tfw my wet dreams consist of walking around random places and jumping the first girl I see
>tfw I actually get real life orgasms from those dreams frequently

>>8823859
>tfw no sex dreams
>tfw no orgasms in sleep / just from waking up
>tfw jelly

>>8823841
desu kinda, i'd like to die on my own terms not some one else/ something making me die, just me shooting myself or smth. but if i did have terminal shit it would just be such a relief knowing its gonna happen either way, the only thing i worry about is missed oppertunitys but then i remember the suffering so it doens't matter

>>8823855
>liking fat girls
Anon you're so silly. Love your double entendre.

>>8823859
>tfw never had a waking orgasm
>tfw scared to masturbate

>>8823864
Dreams are the only time I have ever known what it's like to make out with a girl.

>>8823864
It's okay, my masturbation sessions are quite underwhelming in comparison, and lately I can't seem to orgasm from sex either.

>>8823875
You need someone to help you out there, anony.

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>>8823872
oh man I'd love not to die on my own terms. No worrying about if I'm making the right decision, no feeling guilty about upsetting people, no planning logistics and how I want to be found and lying to everyone about how I'm feeling so nobody will stop me.

Just the sweet, sweet inevitability of imminent death. The knowledge that it's all over and there's nothing you can or should do about it. The deep, deep relief as the end comes.

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>>8823886
yeah i see what u mean, if its terminal u don't have to worry about failing and dealing with reprocutions. I honestly wish i just had a gun sometimes so i could get it over with quickly. existance is too much and i wish i didn't know some of my friends so that they wouldn't have to deal with this bs even tho they'd still be happy without me.

>>8823875
>dream are the only time
Oh, I feel less jelly now.

>>8822315
Oh, you know, I have all that stuff. I'm just too scared to take advantage of any of it. I'd talk myself out of job applications by saying "oh, you're not good enough anyways" and that's been going on for years now and I'm finally getting sick of it.
Thanks for the optimism, anon. I've gotten used to being a depressed sack of shit and being reminded of my many options is the best way to break out of it. We'll see what happens.

>>8822295
Christ, I should've. I was just feeling like shit and wandering aimlessly through the threads.

>>8820481
Girls + cat = psycho in my book

So, no. Catless, please.

>>8822752
Hahaha, oui ! C'est dommage personne ne parle qu'anglais. Merde d'éducation.

>>8823002
Mm... Are you my girlfriend perchance...?

>>8823875
>tfw never had a waking orgasm
I have one of those every time I take a siesta, guapa.

>>8823932
I talk myself out of job apps, too, which is retarded, and I don't even have a degree behind me to flaunt about.

>tfw the girls in my local tinder are actually decent but still too scared to do anything

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>>8823836
You should make a map that will lead me to you, delinquent.

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>>8823864
If it's any consolation, sleep orgasms are entirely unsatisfying. I can have 3-7 in the course of a few hours if I oversleep too much and miss taking my meds, and honestly you just wake up like... ugh.

>>8823937
Lesbians in general tend to be more psycho than your average straight girl regardless of pet ownership.

Bite the bullet, accept the pussy.

>>8824140
>If it's any consolation, sleep orgasms are entirely unsatisfying.

What, mine are among the most satisfying orgasms I have.

>>8824175
Wanna trade?

>>8824196
Depends, how satisfying are your masturbation and sex orgasms?

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>>8824223
...never mind.

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How come there are so many women with unsatisfying self-pleasure lives? Is it something biological? You never hear about guys having bad masturbatory lives.

>>8824280
Vaginismus + disorders of the endometrium make up a big chunk. The closest thing men have to those conditions are painful prostate or CPPS and many guys who have this condition end up asexual too. Higher depression rates mean less desire to fuck.

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>>8824280
most likely biological. you need a dude to cum to have a kid but you don't need a gal to, thus having no evolutionary need to have a gal finish in 30 seconds.

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>tfw masturbation is the only time you can orgasm
>sex is utterly pointless outside of relationship reinforcement

>>8824306
>make up a big chunk
read that as 'makes it a bit chunky'

>>8824240
Don't tell me you don't at least know about your masturbation orgasms?


>>8824352
Getting touched and being close to a qt is also really nice even without the orgasm, anon.

>>8824352
Maybe have you considered you're not really a lesbian?

>>8823841
>i'm just sort of waffling through life waiting for it to end
This is one reason why I got my current job, I figured it would make time pass much more quickly until my natural death. Now I can't decide whether I'm heartened or disheartened at how quickly the years have gone by.

>>8824352
male here, i like making passionate love more than benis into bagina

>>8824378
What is your current job?

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>tfw you're only here to see if this entire board isn't just full of trannies and gaybros

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>>8824125
>go to Georgia
>take a left into the mountains
>follow the sound of shounen anime openings until you come upon a water fall

I'm the chick at the top that's yelling and swinging a chain around.

>>8824387
The work itself wasn't really import as much as the fact that it was a rapidly expanding small company. We were horribly understaffed, so for a while work was life. It was deeply miserable at times but I barely had the energy to think about anything other than work, which was sort of nice.

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>>8824360
I know both, they just aren't worth trading for.

Masturbation is usually fine, but I have extreme difficulty coming during sex. It hasn't happened since... I guess my ex 5ish years ago. Been with three girls since then and did orgasm with one of them once, but only because she was so clueless that I got impatient. Ended up asking her to just take care of me up top while I handled things on the bottom.

>tfw virgin
>have turned down every girl who tried sumthing or is into me because
>too autistic to make some action so i just ignore
>or i dont even notice she's into me
I might be retarded, i'm a fucking beta end my life

>>8824280

because for most women sexual satisfaction is more about emotional bonding with a partner than for guys just satisfying the urge to ejaculate

but if 4chan has taught me anything its guys get insecure about jacking off too much and being addicted to porn and not lasting long enough and getting ED and not getting laid instead ect so thankfully it evens out to everyone being rekt

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>>8824450
it's okay anon, just watch romcoms for the rest of your life.
they do it in the romcoms and they have a romcom plot happen.
better start watching that hallmark channel.

>>8824483
>Watching things that will make you more depressed

>>8824483
H-hey it's not that bad a way to live.

Why do lesbians wear fake cocks? That means you're just straight??

>>8824493
>watching things like that raise your expectations on what a 'romantic' gesture is
>original problem created but in a different way

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>>8824410
Got it. I'm on my way!

>finally out to myself enough to watch The L Word
It's pretty good! If I watch it on my sister's Netflix account does that count as coming out?

>>8824547
if you're sister doesn't know your gay, it's close enough.

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>tfw first time I've received affection from another girl.
>know I like girls
>She's not bad
>Still not attracted to her

Does this mean I'll be lonely forever?

>>8824435
I know a similar feel. I think I've just gotten used to how compatible my ex and me were sexually, that random one night stands or flings can't compare.

>>8824523
Excellent! Protips for when you get to Atlanta:

>If you're riding MARTA don't go into the empty train car and don't look anyone in the eye
>We don't have many Burger Kings here but all of them will give you straight up food poisoning
>We DO have a lot of McDonalds and the menu is apparently numbered differently than some other places
>Do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES go to a strip club that has a lunchtime buffet
>Pedestrians and drivers just do whatever so be careful or you might die/kill someone
>Any place that has Mac n' Cheese on the vegetable menu has good food

I probably missed some things. But those are the major things you need to know.

>>8824911
>>Do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES go to a strip club that has a lunchtime buffet
I'm dying. Is this a real thing??

>>8824513
It's not just that they wear fake cocks, it's that they always pick the 8" soft ones that are unrealistically big

>>8824911
>>8824920
I would also like to know if this is real because if so it sounds amazing.

I just wanted to say thank you to the anon who helped chill me out with flight advice a few days ago. I did not end up getting sick on any of my flights, there was no poop explosion, I did not get stuck in Texas, and my period did hit but at some point when i was asleep over the Atlantic ocean but i pre-toweled it so eat it biology.

now im just upset Britain doesn't know what ranch is and I miss my wife and my house. My parents house stinks of old wood, damp, and dogs, and everyone keeps talking about my straight sister's massively engagement ring, but they didn't even come to my wedding. britain is full of tranny vaginas, everyone is an ugly cunt without any real depth or warmth, send me back to America

>have cutie Muslim girlfriend
>Was genitally mutilated as a girl
>I cant make her orgasm but she says other people make her
>This summer it was hot and she said I dress to unmodest because I wear tank tops.
>She doesn't want to give give up her religion
>She constantly feels guilty for being gay

I don't know if I should say with her, but I am also not sure if it is just islomaphobia and racism that makes me not want to be with her.

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>>8825017
From what you say, it sounds like she's almost putting her beliefs onto you with the whole tank top thing. If that's happening in other areas in your relationship I'd see that as cause for concern. If she's making you happy and you her, then you should bring up these concerns to her. Communication is one of the most vital parts of a relationship. What would a bunch of autistic people on the internet know

>>8825017
>mutilated as a child
>forced to cover body
>would be killed for being gay

She's still brainwashed by Islam. Show her it's safe to be who you are in the west.

>>8825017
>>I cant make her orgasm but she says other people make her
She's gonna cuck you.

>>8825017
It's not islamophobic to leave her for her religion just like it's not Christianphobic to leave a girl for her jesus religion.
Islamophobia only counts when you're close-minded and make assumptions - in this case, you see how she practices her faith and how it affects your relationship. So it's not -phobic.

>>8825017
>not sure if it is just islomaphobia
A phobia is an irrational fear. You're right to be scared of people who would kill you for being gay. Fuck that shit. Run!

>>8825061
I'm sorry but anyone who respects Islam as a whole needs to be stoned so they can experience the religion of peace and tolerance firsthand.

>>8825055
>>8825057
>>8825061
But as a privileged cis white woman it's not my place to ask her to change her beliefs. Like I am only letting her religion come between us because of ingrained white supremacy making me think that my culture is more valid than hers.
I just want her to not feel ashamed of who she is and I want to make her cum but I don't know who.

>>8824920
>>8824950
Yes, there is. Though I've never been there personally--I just came across it in my line of work. One project I was involved in was mapping late night clubs and one of the reviews for this one strip club said they went during the lunch buffet and it was nasty.

I HAVE however been to places that have breakfast. I had rubbery eggs and the worst and only lap dance of my life there. 2/10 would not recommend.

Atlanta has one strip club that's absolutely legendary. It's like the elephant graveyard of strippers. It's not where good strippers go to die; it's just where strippers go to die. I shit you not they have one that's in her 60s and one that crushes beer cans with her boobs and says poems. That whole night was a wild ride from start to finish.

>>8825099
Don't ask her to change her beliefs. It's understood to me at least that your beliefs are your own. If she wants to impose her beliefs onto you, then that is a step beyond. I would not be okay with that and i would vocalize that to her.

>>8825099
Show her you care and accept her cultural beliefs.
I have a tip for you. Set-up a nice bubble bath with rose petals and bath bombs and tell her to close her eyes and get in. Then, start dropping fist-sized stones on her. In between each one shout, "Praise be to Allah! Our one true prophet!" repeat that until she is no longer moving. Bitches love that.

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I want a loving kind wife. RIGHT NOW.

>>8825157
>Bitches love that

Can corroborate. I would literally die if a girl did this to me.

>>8825321
Looks like you got two pussies to pet

I just want a gf

>>8825341
ha

>>8825321
what if you found the girl of your dreams, but she had the same name as your mom?

>>8825509
Maybe if it were spelled different it would be OK. I have never called my mother by her first name anyway so I don't think of her when I hear someone else called by that name.

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>>8825509
>tfw my gf is a few years older than me, liked to make jokes about how she's the 'mom friend' anyway, and now keeps making jokes about how I only want her for her mom qualities
>tfw I actually had a dream once in which she turned into my mother

Just kill me.

>>8825509
What if she has your own name?

>>8825553
Am I a narcissist if I don't mind?

>>8825566
Narcissistic or AGP.

>>8825553
d/a but man that would be so weird. I've never met anyone with my name.

>>8825112
>tfw the strip club in my town has a rule about letting women inside without being escorted by a man.

They don't even care what team you swing for, something about a safety rule. It was like half the reason I even made male friends to begin with.

>>8825742
>something about a safety rule.
Like what?

Isn't that discrimination anyway?

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>>8818895
What are your thoughts on the most political and powerful and socially relevant lesbian of your time?

pic related

>>8825742
I've never heard of a nudie bar doing that. Is it a really rough bar or in a rough Country?

>>8825753
I dunno, something about keeping the creepers away when you leave at night or something, it sounded like bullshit. Anyways I realized kinda quick that going into a strip club alone is kind of the most pathetic thing you can do regardless, and I doubt my gf would ever be down for something like that so... guy friends it is.

>>8825787
it's a liability thing
they're only supposed to protect the dancers, some guy gets handsy with you and you both get kicked out
>it looks bad, so here's a dumb rule so we don't have to deal with it

>>8825787
>and I doubt my gf would ever be down for something like that
Tranner girlfriends FTW!

>>8825112
Those all sound hilarious and bizarre.

>>8824513
I dunno Erik, does masturbating to futas mean that you're gay?

Really makes you think.

>>8825341
Underrated

>>8825099
She could leave you for your beliefs.
And, also, sometimes you do have to eventually decide that your culture is right/better/superior/suitable to your environment to others... because why else would you practice it?
Like, yeah, cultural relativism blah blah blah, but, eventually it's about making your own way with whatever you decide to believe in.
Her sky fairy is one of the Islamist interpretations. Yours is maybe a Christian one, or maybe "nature" or something hippy-dippy, or science, or maybe nothing.
For her, it's connected more to her culture and family. So, maybe she has less agency to change than you, but who cares.

I realize I'm kind of going the stereotypical "break up hit the gym delete ur fb" route in >>8826313
At the end of the day, interfaith and intercultural relationships take more compromise and respect than others. I personally do not have a lot of respect for religion in general, so it's hard for me to relate to.

>>8824388
I can confirm there are cis women who use the board. I can't confirm other cis women use /clg/

*rubs my filthy bisexual transbian hands all over this thread*

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>>8826480
>bisexual
>transbian
rly waxes ur apples

I'm full blown freaking out. This really cute lesbian coworker is flirting with me and its giving me butterflies. And I'm like paralyzed with nerves. I've only dated men so idk if flirting is different with girls. I turn into a total spazz near her. Help anon out?

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>>8826519
The new IT movie is out on Thursday
ask her to go see it with you
>"I'm too scared to see it alone"

>>8826528
Hey not a bad idea

>>8821943
I hope the DR anon will be OK.

>>8825769
HRC? she's pretty damn crooked. her brother was literally selling pardons to convicted embezzlers at the end of bill's term.

>>8825538
when you suck her breast, does she say, "you look just like a baby" like in all the terrible yuri shit that i read?

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>>8825538

>>8826519
Poor lesbian trying to date a bislut. Assuming you're actually a woman.

>>8826571
DR anon?

>>8826519
My advice is tell her how many STDs you have, then immediately vacate the thread and go to your assigned containment thread, bishitter.

>>8825538
Hot.

>>8826658
Dominican Republic

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>>8826666
>little island in the middle of the ocean surviving a Cat5++, record breaking, apocalyptic hurricane
She's ded.

>>8826666
Oh, I think I know who that is. Hope she knows how to swim.

>>8820481
Friends with cats are nice but I sure don't want one living with me.
Stupid meme being true n shit.

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>going to Japan in less than a week
>supposed to meet a former japanese fashion model when I'll be in Tokyo
Let's just hope the two fatties won't do anything stupid and won't try to blow up the two Korea and Japan.

>>8826711
Have fun in Japan, anon.
Plans?

>>8826716
Osaka, Kyoto, Hiroshima, Miyajima, Nara, Okayama, Kanazawa, Takayama, Shizuoka and Tokyo.
Eating a lot, drinking a lot, meeting people and buying tons of shit. Will also go to either Universal or DisneySea, and to 2-chome in Tokyo.

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I have a qt girl coming over to my place later. Pls send help.

>>8825553
>>8825736
>tfw actually have quite a common English first name
>don't live in an English-speaking country

Thank Buddha.

>tfw no gf to ride as you ride out the hurricane together
/clg/, I've got no water but plenty of liquor. Irma's probably going to kill us all.

>>8827240
C'mon, Anon, fill some milk jugs with tap water or something. We need all qt3.14 we can get in Florida. Are you on the coast?

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oh boy, a lesbian thread

all the shallowness of a guy, with the insufferably of women

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>>8818895
gym thots are bottom of the barrel degenerates

>>8827260
Do they fuel your workouts or make you drop the weight on your foot?

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>>8827240
It was an honor posting in the same general with you, anon. RIP in pieces, qt.

>>8827255
Yeah, I was planning on doing that today. I'm also cleaning up my apartment so I can take pictures of my shit for the insurance company just in case.
I'm not on the coast, I'm in central Florida, but my apt sits only a few feet from a lake, and if we get enough rain that could easily flood.

>>8827272
I plan on shitposting on here until the bitter end.

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>>8827280
Keep us updated. Hopefully your power doesn't go out.

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>>8827397
It will

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>>8827240
>buy a bunch of bags of ice from the store
>leave ice in bags when you put it in your cooler
>let the ice melt = water
Ehh? Ehhh? It could work.

>>8827240
Put a bucket outside

>>8827240
Well if you weren't a lesbian hurricanes wouldn't happen now would they?

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>>8827529
>lesbian hurricanes
Sounds sexy and dangerous. Wouldn't mind letting one of those bad girls destroy my home.

>>8827529
>tfw your lesbianism spawns hurricanes
We truly are the most powerful race on the planet.

>>8827554
My trannyism elected Trump.

>>8827498
Are you dumb? She needs the ice for drinks!
Only butches take it neat.

>>8825112
>crushes beer cans with her boobs

That sounds like the opposite of fun.

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>>8826571
>>8826658
>>8826666
>>8826679
>>8826690
T-thanks anons, I'm okay and alive still. The hurricane hasn't hit us hard (at least where I am) yet.

>>8826742
d/a but wow that's quite the itinerary, you're going to be busy! I hope you have a ton of fun.

>>8827784
I'm going there for three weeks. My sister wanted to see even more and also go to Shikoku and Kyushu but I told her it was pretty much impossible in a such short amount of time.

>>8827996
*such a short

>>8827996
Is your sister also a gay faggot?

>>8828152
Not at all, she's straighter than straight.

>>8827996
Smart of you to put the kibosh on that, Kyushu alone could easily take up a week.
I had a bunch of pretty good sake from some of Fukumitsuya brewery's brands in Kanazawa recently, would recommend (if it happens to be on offer).

>>8828184
Since she doesn't know at lot about Japan, she doesn't realize that the country is actually huge and that there's ton of stuff to do and discover. I had to fight to spend 8 days in Tokyo, since one of her friends told her you could visit the city in 2/3 days tops.
Thanks for the sake's brand, will definively look into it.

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>tfw you haven't looked at okcupid for months and new trainwrecks abound

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>>8825742
>>8825753
>>8825787
I would totally go watch a stripper read poetry and crush beer cans with my gf. If I had one, anyway.

>>8825854
>bizarre

In all seriousness, they are. I have a morbid curiosity and am definitely one of those "That's-so-ridiculous-I-have-to-have-it" type of people. Either way, it's win/win for me.

>>8827260
>tfw gym thot

>>8827736
It was actually a pretty wild ride, but I was super drunk. She did it to a Johnny Cash song.

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>>8828288
>one of her friends told her you could visit the city in 2/3 days tops
You could spend months in Tokyo if you wanted, just exploring the character of different neighbourhoods.

If you have a free night, like craft beer, and are not allergic to encountering fellow foreigners, there's a fantastic bar called Ant 'n Bee in Roppongi (I know I know, but I swear it's not at all skeevy) that has 20-odd taps of domestic craft beers. Selection usually includes a good variety of "regular" types, as well as some novelty beers (earl grey, tomato, apple, plum, etc, some of which have been surprisingly good). Certainly not cheap drinking by JP standards, but that's not really the point. Maps coordinates: 35.662722, 139.733022 (it's in the basement).

The Spajirou location across the street can be a fun place to do dinner beforehand -- it's a chain and the food is nothing spectacular, but it's decent and pretty interesting if you haven't tried "Japanese spaghetti" before.

>>8828484
>I would totally go watch a stripper read poetry and crush beer cans with my gf. If I had one, anyway.

You could have one in an instant, Delinquenty.

>>8828484
>a morbid curiosity and am definitely one of those "That's-so-ridiculous-I-have-to-have-it" type of people
I feel you. Might not have eaten the food though; I'm adventurous but my digestive system doesn't always agree with my choices.

>>8828299
Taeyeon is a qt.

So, I took my first class in meme karate(judo). My teacher was so hot I couldn't look her in the eyes when handing out my papers.
After that, I arrived to tatami glowing red, my repulsive blush persisted for the duration of the class. I shaked everytime she clame to check how I was doing. And when she gave instructions to the whole class.
Every single time. Shaking like druggie during snowstorm, no way she didn't notice that. She was so sweet about stuff and chatted me up about my (idiotic) questions (that every n00b knows).
Point is, how to stop looking stupid on front of her (and normies of the class that would eventually figure shit out)?

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>>8828537
d/a
Is this the place? It looks cozy. What does the yellow, orange, red smiley face rating system mean?

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>>8827774
be safe kiddo

>>8828692
I have no idea how to stop spaghetti from falling out of your gi. I just want you to know that I think you're adorable.

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>>8828697
>what is this a bar for ants.jpg
Nice. And yeah, that's it. Definitely cozy! Small without being uncomfy, and I haven't ever seen it get particularly rowdy. I've also found the staff to be super friendly and helpful.

>What does the yellow, orange, red smiley face rating system mean?
Just the colour of the beer. Pic related, it's the cardamon[sic] porter and you can see the brown circle next to the name on the menu.

>>8828741
Thanks anony! I appreciate your comment, but I hope I don't suddenly think about it next week, because blushing will follow.

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>>8827774
Keep us updated, I hope everything turns out OK.

>>8828692
just think,
she needs a volunteer to show off a submission move
roughly 15 minutes of being pinned to the mat

>>8828875
>>8828810

Judo Anon you must do this for the rest of us who's martial arts instructors have only ever been men. I will live vicariously through you.

>>8828875
I'd probably fuck it up somehow, but if not, well, I hope I wouldn't chicken out from taking quarter hour tour to heaven. Pretty sure there's no walking home after that haha!

>>8828910
Yup! I'll describe it here when it happens. It's my payback for all the awesome stories I've read around here in the past.

>>8828537
>>8828751
Yeah, I like beer, thanks for the adress! Will try to go there, it seems neet. I'll go in Roppongi anyways, so it's even better if I have good places to go to drink and eat.

>>8828751
You're such a drunk, CanKan, and that's very moe (unless you're legit alcoholic).

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>>8828987
you better go to universal and go on the 4d dragon ball ride
I will beat you up if you don't

>>8829030
Who ejaculated on Vegeta's face?

>>8829051
life

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>>8827265
their antics and general debauchery prevents me from finishing my workouts in a timely manner o_o

>>8828484
are you thot or not? i like tight bodies but only under the condition that a brain is attached.

>>8828987
No problem, I hope you have an awesome time!

>>8829003
I can't help it, there's so much interesting booze out there! I'm not an actual alcoholic though, don't worry.

>>8829030
>built-in vibration function
Rude.
>requires 3xAAA batteries
Even worse.

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>>8829120
>it vibrates
I can't tell if that's hilarious or sad