/tgg/ Trans Girl General

first for failing boymode

second for never failing boymode

>>8387318
>tfw usually happens
>tfw went to gas station in training pants and male jacket
>tfw heard some teenage girls use male pronoun
It's really ruined my mood for a couple of days now...

>>8387329
i sometimes wonder if i will ever fail boy mode

>tfw prominent brow
why live

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>>8387329
FAILING BOYMODE IS A MEME

Well, that's what I keep telling myself anyways...

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This hon transitioned at 16 in 1999 and had SRS in 2001. She could have any surgery she wanted because she's rich.

She is fucking ugly and looks like a man, when I came out to my mother she immediately started talking about her and told me I'd be ugly like her and would never look like a woman. I hate this I hate this all. I am 19 and my puberty is fucking over, she started kinda early and is a HON.

How do you feel about this?

> Her name is Filipa Gonçalves and is the daughter of an ex football player called Nene.

>>8387760
Also forgot to recommend you to Google her, to see what I mean by looking like a man if you think she passes in this pic. I tried to pick the most flattering of her.

>>8387760
>>8387767
I feel like you have really high standards, and is about as toxic as your mom...

>>8387760
Yeah, I used to feel bad about people that start 16-18, but I've become aware that they actually don't look any better than me, unless they won the genetic lottery, in which case they would still probably look better than me even if they started in their mid 20s.

But she's actually not that bad though.

>>8387778
How is wanting to pass a high standard. I wouldn't mind being an average looking girl, as long as I passed. I think it is pretty reasonable standard, I don't want to be an Instagram model, I just want to go about life without bringing too much attention onto myself. Yes I wouldn't mind being hot, but I don't even expect that so I don't get disappointed, but I would hate not passing facewise even after FFS

>>8387907
>tfw pass as an average girl
at first i was really happy about it, but now i feel like im missing out a little bc im a fridgebod with a passing face and voice, i want to be qt

>tfw boymode is really comfy because HRT made you feel okay and you don't have the anxiety the comes with being visibly trans

fg desu senpai

Got herded into the FtM group at the trans support group. Might be time to update my wardrobe.

>>8389109
Do you mean you were wearing boyclothes and got shoved in with their group?

>5'10"
>like 140 lbs or something
>deep ass voice, but can get it really high with effort
>13" wide hips, 16" wide shoulders
>forehead ridge

should i transition or just an hero?

hey gage hows it going friend

>>8386738
>Tfw smooth face edition.
how do I feel this feel

>>8387760
Your mum is a cruel person and it sounds like it's rubbed off on you.

>>8388154
Shit, that's like my dream. I don't want to come out to anybody or socially transition anytime soon but I want to feel better about my self. I'm just not pursuing that because I figure it'll be impossible to hide my breasts on HRT.

>>8389548
Transitioning is always the better option

>>8390010
[citation needed]

>>8390134
Here's your citation: [spoiler]dying is not good[/spoiler]

>>8390159
False dichotomy.

>>8387318
>>8387329
>>8387448
>>8387712
failing boymode is somehow easier when you're out with your cis girlfriends.
i guess their femininity rubs off or something

>>8390172
How is that a false dichotomy when the original question was literally between transitioning or suicide?

Squeezed my nips for the first time in a few weeks and one of them fucking squirted.

>>8390275
I can't tell from your tone whether you think this is a good thing or a bad thing but that's hilarious. I don't know if I'd be able to avoid doing squirt-tests all the time if that happened to me.

>>8390268
That was the false dichotomy as you should have realized when you replied to it.

>>8390286
Okay, anon. Sorry for telling somebody not to kill themselves. Next time I'll just educate them about logical fallacies instead.

>>8390283
It's fucking hilarious. I don't see it as good or bad, I just know that I will not use this power responsibly.

>>8390294
Imbecile.

>>8390311
Heh, you activated my Ad Hominem card! *adjusts glasses with my palm*

>tfw only have enough privacy to practice makeup once every few weeks
At least I have my pencil eyebrow to look forward to. Never used one before.

>>8390456
>pencil eyebrow
And by that I mean eyebrow pencil, please don't tease me.

>>8387760
Good to know im not the only brazillian tranny around here

>>8389660
laser or electro
just had second laser session and it is already feeling great
shaving is so much easier
cheap laser package too

>>8390585
She is portuguese thou

>>8390714
I've been thinking about laser for awhile but I'm too anxious to go in and get it done. And I'm also worried about how it looks. Doesn't your face become inflamed during the process? I don't drive so I sort of dread the idea of sitting on the bus with a hairy/red face to or from the clinic.

>>8390745
you are supposed to shave before you go
it would just be a little red and the red usually goes away after like 6 to 8 hours

>>8390818
>you are supposed to shave before you go
Wait, really? When I was looking into it last year I specifically remember the website for the clinic saying that you need to stop shaving for x amount of days before the appointment. Maybe that was just for the first appointment? So they can evaluate the hair type.

>it would just be a little red and the red usually goes away after like 6 to 8 hours
That's great news. I was imagining really obvious blemishes that last for ages.

Maybe I'll finally get the courage to do it at the end of year break.

>>8390719
Really? Nevermind me then

>>8390835
I've only heard the stop shaving direction applied to electrolysis.

>>8390182
>having cis girlfriends
normie out reeeeeeeeee

I've been on hormones for about a year, and slowly gaining weight, no exercise. Is it safe to lose weight and train leg / butt muscles now or should I wait longer for fat to move around my body before starting?

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>>8390182
...I don't have friends though...

>>8391032
laser uses light which is absorbed by darkness.
you need to not shave so that there is the darkness of hair to absorb the radiation and heat up the follicle.
also, it doesn't work so well on blond/red hair

ive been staring at the planned parenthood phone number for two hours now legbutts

should i go get the mones or should i continue being paralyzed & repressed until im dead

>>8391898
You're always shaved for laser, only reason as to why they wouldn't want you to be shaved is if they want to keep track of progress, and where to work.
If the hairs are long, then not as much heat will come to the follicle, and then it might not be burned.

>>8391923
Call them, don't think, just do it.

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How do you all feel about gender-bender anime? Is it too AGP to get excited about the idea of turning into a cute girl?

>>8391923
If you go get super high and come back, you'll realize there's nothing that can really go wrong.

>>8391753
>slowly gaining weight
Lucky.

Usually the weight helps with passing - I'd say try to keep it on while you're toning your butt.

>>8392303
>Is it too AGP to get excited about the idea of turning into a cute girl?
It's AGP to get turned on by it. Even then that's not an intrinsically bad thing; AGP doesn't invalidate your gender dysphoria, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Literally what trans person doesn't fantasise about turning into the opposite sex and want it to happen to them?

>>8389678
>I figure it'll be impossible to hide my breasts on HRT.
So you haven't even tried? Stop being a faggot

>co-workers make up a somewhat manly nickname for me and use it instead of the one i've used for 15 years now.
>actually getting triggered from it
i'm turning into tumblr :(

>>8392445
>AGP doesn't invalidate your gender dysphoria
Quite the reverse.

>>8392647
You mean that AGP does invalidate your gender dysphoria, or that gender dysphoria invalidates your AGP?

>>8392675
I mean AGP does the reverse of invalidating dysphoria.

>>8392303
I always hated it because it filled me with immense jealously.

If I lose weight on HRT will it take from the masculine areas first?

I've been frequenting this website for 8 years, and never got over the fact very little ever transcends the present moment. Letting go is shitty and difficult. I come from a time when also any means of identification besides tripcodes were nonexistent, so trying to communicate was even more futile. I'd go to /x/ and watch bad movies streams and have a blast with the handful of people commenting, but the next day all of that was gone. For some time I felt really lonely even if I spent all day browsing. I could go on and on with this, but my problem is only somewhat related. Whenever I feel down I come to this board and look at threads to read random conversations. Even if they're not good, I kinda feel like it's still 2013 when it got created by moot. Now I'm no trans, but I saw one last night in a thread and blushed. I obviously remembered in a second that thing I talked about before, and knew there was no chance of ever getting to know her more.

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>>8393141
Go to SupremeTV for chat streams that are 4channy

>>8393141 (cont)
This hurts like hell. I was even dumb and replied to her posts like an aspie saying some pathetic shit and probably creeped her out. Or not, maybe she just closed the thread, I'll never know. Either way, I find myself again struggling to let go, and I think it'd be easier if I got insulted by you on your own perspective, like telling I'm a chaser or a naive retard or a shallow needy autist. It really fucking hurts and need to get destroyed beyond any hope.

>>8393200
Maybe don't go after transgirls just because cisgirls are creeped out by you

>>8393359
I'm not trying to start defending myself here, but I'd like to make clear that I don't have any problems with my female classmates in campus. I did reply to this transgirl saying a couple of stupid things (one was a compliment she appreciated, though) because I haven't feel this love at first sight or infatuation whatever you want to call it thing in forever, so it took me by surprise and didn't know how to react, thus fucked it up. What I said comes down to being too self-conscious about this whole futility of any attempt at getting to know someone in this website beyond mere written text and images.
Thanks though.

>>8392618
I think you should spend some time away from 4chan if you think being upset because people are referring to you in a manly way is "tumblr".

can you lose height if your bones are still slightly cartilage?

>>8395288
No, but your cartilage will "shrink", so you could lose up to an inch, or something (from cartilage in your spine discs).

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Why even bother?

>tfw you have quality chocolate
feels good

>>8386738


>be cis male
>add transgirl from zeemaps on discord
>have a good conversation with her about trans stuff
>the next day discuss politics and she is a homophobic racist /pol/fag
>blocks me because I disagreed with her

ok then...

>>8397993
that sounds annoying

>>8398009

pretty annoying desu, was enjoying the conversation before she turned horrible.

Imagine if I told her I was black

>>8397993
Funnily enough, those people will claim to not be SJWs.

I'm at the point now in my transition where breasts are visible and I have to wear a sports bra, which is pretty obvious with any shirt that I wear.

Thing is, I don't feel like I pass yet. My hair isn't where I want it and I still have a while to go, but I'm so androgynous now that I can't really just get by on "Effeminate twink" anymore. Everyone at my work still calls me by my boy name (Nobody knows I am trans except for my boss who is a wonderful and supportive guy) so I don't know how to broach the subject of me coming to work progressively girlier by the week. Ideally, I'd just not, since I don't want to bring attention to myself.

I get weird looks in the men's restrooms at work, people double-take to make sure they're in the right one when they see me. But, I'm also not comfortable with using female bathrooms yet, since I think I still look like a boy. I don't even know where to pee at work.

Going out in public is hard. I feel like everyone is watching me, anxiety gets so bad I can hardly breathe. I cried when I got home from the store yesterday because I was so frustrated with the fact that I'm an abnormal freak.

What the fuck do I do. This is awful. I just want to be comfortable with my own body.

>>8393444
Hey, it's me, the one you've been gushing over. Can provide proof if needed.

I think it's really sweet that you've found yourself so smitten, but the responses that you've received about conduct and interaction have been correct. It's obvious you've got heart, just try to figure out how to present that in a way that won't spook girls off! Be subtle, and friendly, and relaxed.

I don't really do a lot of online chatting, and I do also have a significant other that I couldn't be happier with. I'm sorry my lack of a response has upset you so much, I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

Good luck with everything.

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>>8398302
Holy shit it's you. I guess. I'm naive enough to not doubt it's effectively you, but who knows how many other losers like me are out there in this board, what if you're another girl. I'll accept any proof you consider adequate.

I'm sorry I creeped you out. I haven't felt this in so many years, it took me by surprise and I just sperged out. I don't know if you've read every piece of dumb post I've been writing in the other thread.

It's not the lack of response, I can deal with that in some foolhardy-ish way. It was just the idea of losing any chance in a sea of posts that come and go in this silent void. I'm just so glad you replied though.

I wish you the best. If you have someone else and are happy, I can take that. I hope everything works out for you, massive cutie.

Maybe in the next life [spoiler];_;[/spoiler] Stay safe.

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>>8398363
Thank you, again, I do appreciate it. You seem very nice! Just work on your social skills and I'm sure you'll find someone better than you could ask for.

Just be more subtle in the future! Girls like subtle. Coming off as too eager is actually pretty counterproductive.

>>8398438
There we go, it really is you. The revelation is bittersweet, but I can deal with it. If anything, I'm grateful and happy that after going on so much about the uncertaintities of this website, we still were able to talk. So, thank you also. I apologize again for being so reckless and stubborn. I'll try to be subtle, like the wikipedia raids of old. jk jk.

You'll always be a cutie to this nobody somewhere random in the world.

i usually repress my transness pretty well and channel it into just being gay (someone taller than 6'4" doesnt really have a chance of passing) but ive been drinking all day and ended up buying a leather choker, eyeshadow and shaving my body up to my waist and im feeling so happy about myself for once
just felt like posting some good vibes or something idunno

also heres some sick jams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnspd5vpQFE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtzlFO19m3k
i hope yall are having nice days as i am :)

>>8393200
which thread was it?

>>8398669
Congrats anon! Hope you have more good days like this! Also, I love that Gil Scott Heron song

>>8398594
You dodged a bullet, don't go after satanists

More crazy than your average tranny

>>8398669
shave torso too
feels nice

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why do you people do this? I ask not out of malice, but of genuine curiosity.

>>8398970
Do what? Transition?

I can't speak for everyone, but crippling body dysphoria and self-loathing were my reasons. If I didn't transition I probably would have painted the wall with my brains sometime down the line.

People who do it typically have a pretty good reason for it (Unless they're AGP, then it's just a fetish.)

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>>8399002
okay, thanks for the honesty trans-anon. Best of luck in your endeavors.

hi new here quick advice question

so today, 3 friends who I haven't seen in months bailed on me after I was gonna buy them dinner, dysphoria has been fucking terrible recently, I've been having hella panic attacks, nothing is going right in my musical efforts, and I found my favorite fetish (which isn't even that outlandish or uncommon as fetishes go) on a cringe blog

how do I not die?

>>8398925
i may just do that, but it sounds like a huge pain in the ass so i think i'll just nair from the waist up

>>8399165
what fetish?
>how do I not die?
by not killing yourself, it's pretty simple.

>>8399195
hyper cocks lel
(for the uneducated, that's basically when a dick is bigger than physically possible.)

>>8399203
why would that be on a cringe blog? i share that fetish (to an extent, when it gets fuckin HUGE it starts to weird me out)

>>8399219
because fetishes are the lowest of low hanging fruit for cringe bloggers lmao

>>8399225
then why let it bother you senpai?

>>8399242
bb if i could just not let things bother me i would be the happiest girl in the world but ive been forgetting to take my anxiety meds for the past like 4 days

>>8398193
crossdressing is an option that has helped me. I'm mtf, been full time as a lady since November. Everyone knows at my job, friends, and I'm assuming my family(though I don't talk to those people anymore). I just have my first Doctor's appointment today to see about HRT. I gotta wait till next month and go back to actually go over my blood work tests and what not. But I bought myself a wig that matches me, some wonderful fake boobs and some nice clothes and I've been doing well.

>>8399250
>by golly I've been anxious lately, panic attacks on the regular
>forgets to take meds

come on, set an alarm on your phone or something
I have am/pm alarms set for mones and have never missed a dose as a result

>>8386738
>Tfw smooth face edition.
No I'm sick of this shit. I've been shaving my face until it bleeds, using every combination of electric and non razors, gels, exfoliants, moisturizers, water, etc, and I'm now down to a thin, crusty layer of skin, still with that permanent shadow and velcro feel. No googled tutorial or advice has helped. My beard is stronger than the rest of my body. What is wrong with this hellish face hugging parasite?

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Any estrofem users here? What's your dosage? What's your regimen....results? Is it possible to blood test this accurately considering the spikes?

can someone redpill me on hormones?
will it change my body shape?
will it make my dick not work anymore?
i heard somewhere you cant smoke on hormones, is this true?

>>8399345
>will it change my body shape?
Yes, but only fat distribution, no skeletal changes if you're post puberty
>will it make my dick not work anymore?
Waste elimination functions as normal, harder to get erections, clear discharge (equivalent to precum) if any at all during orgasm
>i heard somewhere you cant smoke on hormones, is this true?
I still smoke because I'm a weak-willed faggot and my endo says it increases the risk of HRT 500x but I pray for death anyway so nbd

>>8399416
>Yes, but only fat distribution
will it make fat distribution go to my ass instead of tummy?
>>8399416
>Waste elimination functions as normal, harder to get erections, clear discharge (equivalent to precum) if any at all during orgasm
it'll make me sterile right?

and can u smoke weed on hormones?

>>8399437
>will it make fat distribution go to my ass instead of tummy?
yes
>it'll make me sterile right?
yes
>and can u smoke weed on hormones?
yes, tobacco is really bad though

>>8399335
6mg E, taking 2mg every 8 hours or so. After 12 hours without a dose for a blood test, my level was 106 pg/ml. I have yet to blood test on the 8 hour interval to see how that goes.

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>>8387318
>>8387329
>>8387448
>>8387712
what is boymode?
please explain

>>8399416
>clear discharge (equivalent to precum)
>tfw used to have completely dry orgasms on cypro
>tfw get this clear discharge now when on gnrh agonist injectable

>>8399468
Dressing as a boy, presenting as a boy.

>>8399476
>kissing like a girl

>>8399311
Iktf.

At least a nice sugar scrub after still feels good.

>>8399296
i went shopping nd bought some booty shorts and thigh highs we good now

>>8398112
Racist homophobes from /pol/ will 'claim' not to be SJWs? What do you mean?

I have some terrible hip alignment it seems... My right leg gets so much work out, while my left leg gets barely anything...
Does anyone know how I align it? Like some yoga/stretches I could do?

>>8399606
They're still social justice warriors, only that they have a different goal. No matter which way, racist homophobes, or all inclusive hippies, a SJW is a SJW.

>>8399652
I mean, sure, if you just want to completely change the definition of a term.

>>8399719
They think that society should not accept LGBT and non-whites, that's just their idea of social justice. I'm not changing the definition of the term.

>>8399794
Okay

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So I'm not going to make this weird but I'm almost a year into transition and while I was in the shower I masturbated only by massaging my breasts. I hadn't had legitimate libido like that in so long. I didn't even get off, but it was the single best fucking masturbatory experience of my life. I was fucking shaking for half an hour afterwards.

Is this fucking normal? I mean, I knew breasts were an erogenous zone, but not to this extent. It felt better than anything else I had ever done with my body (And I've done my fair share).

>>8399904
god i wish that were me

>>8399934
immediately after posting this I realised it could sound creepy, sorry. I meant I wished I was on HRT and experienced that level of sensitivity

>>8399934
>>8399945
On HRT, and not much sensitivity, at most it feels a little tickly... It's rather boring.

>>8399311
gotta get the laser or electro
i knew your feels before laser
feels amazing now, shaving gives me the smoothest face ever

>tfw life is nothing but torture
i think it might be a good idea to end this ride

>>8400245
increase moans

Cis gay girl here. This thread and all the AGP anons make me feel good about my body and liking girls.

What does hon mean?

>>8400252
cissie pls go

>>8400260
you are probably jealous. I'm not even a manly butch either. 5'2 sub 100 lb femme with long hair. Haha.

>>8400252
Is that like a good thing, or are you making fun of AGPs?

>>8400265
shoo
back to your own thread

>>8400271
Making fun of AGPs. Transitioning cause you're turned on by being a girl is kinda pathetic. Only transition if you feel legitimately you should live as the other sex for everyday, lifestyle reasons, not cause you have some kink for it. When I feel shame about being lesbian, I just think about MTFs and AGPs.

What's a hon? actually wondering

>>8400291
you don't know what you're talking about
bye

>>8400252
>>8400265
Nobody cares.
Go and be a terrible person somewhere else.

>>8400291
Since you are a lesbian, you have the same brain as AGPs.

>>8400307
At least I have the body of a girl, and not a guy on hormones. Kek.

>>8400312
then why are you here

>>8400312
I guess you're gonna make another post about how you're getting week long site bans after this, for "no reason".
Just stay in /pol/, the board is there for a reason.

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>>8400312
Yeah, guess so. If you had trannybod on top of that disgusting personality, you'd definitely be out of luck.

>>8400232
>feels amazing now, shaving gives me the smoothest face ever
you still have to shave after laser?

>>8400380
only second session
i have 3 more to go for this package, it is supposed to be 5 sessions and done, but i might need more, i'm not sure

>>8400831
oh that makes sense, you had me a little worried for a second there. what's it like?

>>8400857
it is like getting zapped by red hot needles
it is amazing though, the hair grows back so thin
and each time it has gotten so much less, when i finish shaving it is like i don't even have facial hair
and some hair falls out all together following few days each time

>>8400928
sounds cool

somebody here already told me a bit about this, so excuse me if that was you, but do you need to grow out your hair each appointment? or do they do it cleanshaven? and how does your face look right afterwards, does it get very inflamed? thanks

>>8400936
they told me to shave each time before coming in
and it doesn't really get inflamed for me, just like red circles from where the laser zapped you that go away after like 6-12 hours or so

>>8386738
I had this picture as a wallpaper for my riced out Android five years ago.

>>8387760
>daughter of an ex football player called Nene
he could never reach his daddy's success so he became a "woman" instead

textbook failed male

>>8400957
thank you

>>8400966
cute

>>8400967
yea, you sure got trans figured out

>>8400232
My face hair runs down my neck into my similarly steel woolen chest, how much does laser cover?

>>8401254
you can get laser anywhere on your body
i am just getting face done, but they do down my neck to get any that could be there even though i don't have much

>>8400831
>5 sessions and done
gl with that

It thins out massively in the first couple of sessions but slowly it'll become less. I've never had a lot of facial hair but I'm at 10+ sessions and my upper lip is still pretty full compared to the rest of my face. That said you may be hitting the growth cycles perfectly. I can't wait to shave, I had a sessions on Monday but still to tender to shave so now I look like a pubertal teen trying to grow their first mustache :C

>>8401269
Cool, thanks. I'll look more into it.

>>8403478
mine never gets tender
and they are using highest settings because my skin and hair are right for it

I need a hug.

Not to sound creepy but...
I usually actually find quite a few mtfs somehow, on twitch.
There's this one, that's so friendly, non-ragey, and generally seem to be a very pleasant person... She probably borderline passes, really deep voice (for a girl), and quite a few facial masculine features.

But I could actually really understand if some guy got interested in her without being a chaser.
Maybe personality really does get you far.

>begin to kinda like my dick
>fap
>don't care what happens to it anymore

>>8400322
Blanchard posters should find a new home in /pol/ as well, they're both equally wrong, in different ways.

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>>8404674
*hug*

>>8405876
Thanks. It means the world right now.

>>8400291
>Transitioning cause you're turned on by being a girl is kinda pathetic. Only transition if you feel legitimately you should live as the other sex for everyday, lifestyle reasons,
Those things aren't mutually exclusive. And in most dysphoric AGPs, even though the arousal/attraction is there it's barely a motivation to transition (if at all) compared to the dysphoria. There's a reason so many try to repress by insisting it's "just a fetish" before giving in a transitioning anyway.

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i have to inject myself in my butt
im scared someone pls give me encouragement

>>8406311
do it in your leg

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>>8404674
Huggu

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>>8406311
you can do it!
<3

22 and wanting to transition, but also wanting to go Army after college. Is it possible to start while in the military? Or will I have to wait until it might be too late?

>>8408414
fuck the army
you gotta live your life
unless the army is more important to you than being happy

>>8408414
>but also wanting to go Army after college
don't

>>8408414
>but also wanting to go Army after college
ask around about what it is like being a femboy in the army...somebody like Faye just might know.

>tfw you're trans

>>8413643
don't join this unless you are a attention whore/slut

>>8413664
>tfw too ugly to attentionwhore

>>8414337
iktf famalam

Girls, how much money would you want your man to have before marrying him? Or salary?

>>8414554
i just want someone who understands me and loves me as much as i love them

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>>8386738
Dysphoria in overkill mode today

>passing
>living fulltime for over a year now
>have bf and everything!!
>have court date soon to change name
>I've lost a lot of weight, exercise regularly, obsessively count calories
>down to 125 lbs at 5'9"
>"i think i finally pass well enough naked to get a swimsuit now! I'll just try some bikinis on with denim shorts"
>go to store and try some on in the fitting room
>some look great in the mirror
>turn around
>oh
>my shoulders are fucking massively broad in comparison to my non-existent hips
>it's ridiculously abnormally fucking noticable
>jesus christ am i really that fucked?
>add this to the list of reasons i can never be normal
>no girl childhood, no vagina, giant feet, no tits, no hips, no "real" girl voice, no smooth face i never have to shave, and finally, broad fucking shoulders that only further contribute to my inability to ever go swimming again
>fucking god i miss swimming so much /lgbt/, you have no idea
>i grew up in florida i used to go swimming all the fucking time as a kid i fucking loved it and now i can never do it again god i want to die

and now im on my third beer of the night

i just want to die so fucking bad. or just go permaneet and wallow in self-hatred forever until i run out of money and/or die. whats the fucking point. i'll always be a freak.

IT NEVER GETS BETTER FOLKS!!

>>8414810
>take hormones and can never swim again because you'll be instantly clocked esp. without SRS

repression fuel

>>8414841
even with srs im hopeless. unless i get hip implants or did a million squats or something. fuck i dont even know how to do one squat.

>>8414853
What is your shoulder width compared to your hip width?

>>8414841
swimming is not that fuggin great
not worth not transitioning over

>>8387342
what are training pants? google images brings up a bunch of pictures of diapers...

>>8414879
probably something like track pants, i assume

>>8414810
What if to ease yourself into it you got up really early to go swimming, when there's less people out and so you don't feel like you're being watched?

>find a park
>it's next to an eyebrow place
>mom keeps joking about how I should go in and get my eyebrows done
>secretly I'd love to
Most of the time I forget about gender and don't feel like I am trans, but then there's little things, like when somebody calls me a man (feel fine being called a boy though) or calls me sir, that bothers me.

>>8415075
i know i look like a man from the back, what difference does it make? even if i wasn't a giant fucking V, my feet are huge and my hair looks dumb and god damn it i just want to become a shut-in and never leave the house im a fucking god damned freak just kill me

>>8415121
>tfw shut in who never leaves house
it is a lonely life

>>8415132
yeah, don't recommend it

>>8415132
>>8415134
Same. Except I enrolled in uni to try to fix that but now I'm just a shutin who only leaves the house 3 days a week and still has no friends.

>>8415156
>>8415134
>tfw been neet for 2 years

>>8415177
I was a NEET for 6 before starting uni.

>tfw practically wasted my entire youth

>>8397993
>homophobic trans"""girl"""
ayyy

>>8414554
I don't know, I guess enough so I don't have to work.

>>8415388
And also enough to buy me presents fairly often.

>>8416294
>>8415388
>doesn't think love is all you need

>>8417718
that is not a trans discord
that is a slut discord

where do i go to buy meds in new zealand
if i dont start soon i will fucking kill myself

>>8397257
>ywn be cornflakes
Alright that does it tonight is the night of the rope

>>8417606
Don't want to work 8 hours a day flipping burgers... Not living miserably is important

>>8419361
git neetbux

>>8414718
This is the answer of a decent woman.

>>8415388
This is the answer of a gold digging whore.

>>8419422
take it down a notch

>>8419460
be less of a fuck

>>8419472
you didn't (you) me

>>8419422
Gl not being alone if you refuse to accept that people seek things in relationships.

praise kek

sorry not posting gold lulz

>>8419477
you did me

>>8419518
shallow people like you can enjoy those kinds of relationships
others will try to find something that works better for them
maybe they wont find it, but i would rather have nothing than something shallow

>>8419627
>you're shallow
>I'm not shallow, I seek purity
>yet I judge others, and see myself above others, totally not shallow
You're a very shallow person, and you just want somebody for free, because "love is all that matters"

>>8419624
and you me

>>8419656
i just want someone special to share things with and share my heart with
i am saying looking for relationships based on money is very shallow because that is not a deep relationship
it is not better or worse, just not my thing
shallow does not mean my preference is better than yours, but saying it is not shallow to seek out relationships based on money is silly

>>8419687
More love in a relationship where both parties fulfill something for one another, than a relationship based on "love", or rather, "I'll just take you, you'll do, as long as you say you love me"

>>8419719
not a "you'll do" situation
i mean one where both people are like "you are fucking awesome" situation

How do you epilate without just shaving most of the hairs and not pulling them out by the root??

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>therapist draws out HRT by another month
I wish I could cry

>>8397257
>haven't posted in almost a year
>still on chart
neat

>tfw 8 months in and barely any breast growth
I hate having to self-med. Has anyone ever gotten HRT from Planned Parenthood?

I wanna try to get injections from them.

>>8420664
start callin new ones.

my biggest fear now is spending a year in therapy then being denied an srs letter

>>8420704
real girls boobs don't fully grow in eight months nigger, so don't expect yours to

>>8420716
But it's like barely anything. I see a lot of girls with more than just a bit of gyno at this point.

>>8420706
she's the only therapist in this shithole of a country who actually gives you HRT though

What are the dangers of taking 50mg bica (and nothing else) every day/ever other day? Thinking about self-med.
I don't need a replacement hormone or anything do I?

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>>8419861
You have courage, and as you said, you'd rather stay alone than compromise. It's good that you understand it's a bet, and betting implies being ready to lose. The 19th century interpretation on Don Quixote deals with this. I'd recommend you checking the novel, it's worth every page. Just trying to give you some support.

The anon you were replying to isn't wrong either. Being trans and poor must be horrible, and if you can get away with not working that's good I guess.

>>8419719
Cut them some slack. You're not wrong about having common sense but some people find meaning in sacrifice (no matter what it is) as long as they have someone to dedicate themselves to. Like loving parents do. Also if you're the one who said that about getting gifts often, it sounds quite eh. Just say you like being spoiled, any girl does.

>>8420745
if shes gatekeeping anti androgens shes never going to allow srs

i use my doctor for injectable E from a real pharmacy in my city. and i buy tit skits online. idk what my levels are, i take more e when i get a headache and take less when i get dizzy. a month on E and my tits are 2x when i started
>>8420774
a year or two before ur bones break from lifting a gallon of milk

>>8420726
And you know what happens to those trans girls? They either get cone tits or their boobs never fully develop. It's only legitimately faster for girls who already had gyno, and it still takes them time.

Just be patient like every cis girl that goes through puberty. I know it's hard because you start looking like a girl and you.still have a flatter budding chest then cis girls, but if you.give.them time and don't wear bras until you actually physically need to, then you'll have cis girl tits eventually

>>8421204
I'm also really hoping switching to injections triggers my hispanic genes and starts hip growth..

You don't know how much it hurts having narrow hips, especially as a tall person..

>>8421216
Not to make you too sad... But it's very unlikely your hips are growing.

It's probably the joint reshaping or something, it could lead to a bit wider hips though.

>>8423790
please stop spamming your slut discord here

It's so nice to be able to use sisters shoes. Stuck taking care of their cat, and my shoes are a bit broken, so I could just use their shoes.

>>8425491
I've never really thought about shoes before. I wonder if I'd have to get them specially ordered if I ever transition.

Sounds comfy though, anon.

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>tfw 2 year tranniversery tomorrow
feels good

>tfw when graduation soon
>tfw all cis female friends have had at least one boyfriend these 3 years
>tfw twink hon no bf ever

sorry for repost, wasnt sure what thread it should go in.
I just came out to my parents, but they dont really get it? is there any material I should send them that could help them understand it better?

>>8427482
pictures of chris chan

>tfw tits

>>8429907
>tfw idktf

>>8429967
don't be jelly
they are tiny

>>8430015
Tiny's cute.

Although I think I have a bit of gyno so maybe I do know sort of what that feel is like (but only when I shave them...)

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>be 1 year HRT, always in boymode
>recently have new surge of confidence about pushing forwards with social transition
>order some nice women's tops off Amazon (just "normal" ones, nothing that would obviously be impossible to pull off)
>eagerly wait for them to arrive, looking forward to trying them on and maybe finally starting to incorporate women's clothing into your wardrobe
>they arrive this morning
>none of them fit, and you know getting a bigger size wouldn't help because they're way too short but already too baggy, and just generally look awful on your twinkhon bod
>cry for each one as you try them on
>afterwards, cry for all of them cumulatively and how you're never going to be a normal girl and never going to wear nice clothes like this
>go back to bed and reassure yourself you're still a real girl and you're not totally disgusting until you fall back asleep
>tfw you knew this would happen but had hope anyway

>>8430739
i wish i could give you a hug anon
those are very harsh feels

>>8430739
Sounds like you need to shop tall women's shops. I do, and use my sewing skills to tailor them to fit right.

Any tranny trying to get their small sissy dicks sucked hmu

>>8433322
you fucking retard
no real tranny would ever want to have their dick sucked
chaser REEEEEEEEEEEE

>tfw have manlet and small frame genes
>but because male Im 5"10 size 9 feet (UK male)
>whereas sister is 5"2 and has size 4 feet (female) and is petite

If only I wasn't cursed with being born male id be really cute ;_____;

Does jaw fat leave on hrt, it really makes me look masculine :(

>ywn have enough pride to just fuck off already

I'll have enough pride to down this bottle of vodka.

>>8433905
enjoy your liver failure and brain atrophy

Is anybody here closeted but on HRT? I feel like I'd be happy enough doing that, I'm already mostly content with being indefinitely closeted and just doing stuff like makeup in private.

How do you hide your breasts though? Especially in summer. That's the only thing I'm worried about. I already have to hide my shaved arms and legs most of the time, I can't imagine successfully hiding breasts. Especially since I don't live alone.

>>8435530
compression shirts or very baggy shirts with dark colors

>>8435530
also, do you really shave your arms? i think it just looks unnatural and way too obvious.

>>8435535
Just can't really imagine being able to keep that up all the time. What happens when they get too big to hide?

>>8435542
I've started to, yeah. I don't really like how it looks a couple days after shaving but it's still better than nothing. I wasn't blessed with light body hair, it's all dark brown. I'll probably stop before I have to start wearing short-sleeve shirts again. Most likely before then, actually, since I often get lazy about shaving.

What exactly is agp and is it real? I wish I were born a girl. Why is it so hard for people to believe that?

>>8435940
AGP is basically if you only fap to the idea of dressing as a girl, having the body or parts of a girl or doing girl stuff. In AGP there is no emotional level to it - just hedonism.

>>8436008
>In AGP there is no emotional level to it - just hedonism.
Stop spreading agpphobic lies!

>>8436008
So since I want to kill myself for not having a female body, I'm not agp?

>>8435940
>>8436015
agp is a meme that people just use to discredit trans girls or make them doubt themselves

>>8436032
My twin sister tried to imply that I was making it up because she didn't see any signs and I only came out at 20. When I said I tried to push it down she said that it's not something that you can push down, completely looking past the fact that I've been hospitalized twice for wanting to kill myself. This is after she saw the gender therapist once. I just feel real really invalidated. Like not only do I not get to be a girl, but I can't even be trans?

>>8436080
Do you have any other siblings? How have they and your parents responded?

>>8436087
My mom wept when I came out and she cried the one time I decided to test the waters and wear a dress in front of her. I'm not out to my other siblings. I don't speak to my father.

>>8436080
>>8436102
Your sister's just making up shit. Nobody can know what you have and have not been experiencing, and "it's not something you can push down" is blatantly untrue. People go years and years suppressing things like this. Very few trans people can truthfully say they didn't have a period of time where they hid it. It's very common for people to pull the whole "you've never shown signs before" thing, but your sister doing it when she knows you've been suicidal is especially abhorrent.

Sorry your family's shitty, hopefully things get better for you soon

>>8436106
She said some even worse shit. She said that it was okay for men to be feminine telling me about her male professors at her women's college or something
>Tfw the only sibling you thought would be supportive literally tries to talk you out of being trans

>it's my birthday recently
>gonna get some birthday cash, finally gonna have money to start laser
>which is good because i went off hormones for a time (by force) and since then facial hair has become more of a bother
>didn't have money for my antidepressants (celexa), got really cagey and couldn't go outside for a couple weeks
>lose my job (again)
>no one gave me any birthday cash
>now i'll be lucky to stay homed the next couple months

>>8399652
Social justice is a concept defined primarily by equal rights and opportunity between social groups, like race, class, etc. Racism is the belief that one or more races are inherently superior or inferior to eachother regardless of socioeconomic position, and typically carries the belief this should be acted on, i.e blacks should not have rights.

Social justice is incompatible with racism, so racists are really quite the opposite of SJWs my dude.

How big of an effect will progesterone have? I've been on HRT for 8.5 months and will start it in two more

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does anyone know how to get tic tacs in chile

>>8440139
the internet

>>8440139
The internet like that one anon said, or ask for help in LGBT groups. I'm Chilean (not a trans, straight guy) and studying in Uch. There's a group there called SESEGEN in the JGM campus that could help you (there was one very well-known and loved transgirl who died some months ago, so they're gonna give you lots of support). If you're too shy for that, I could help by acting as a bridge. My dcord is in name field.

>tfw lewd things happen

>>8441679
What's your discord?

>>8397993
Did you meet with Chris-chan?

>>8389548
try transition and then reconsider an hero?
at least that's what I'm working on

>>8397257
I want to fug Plant!!!

>>8445217
Well, I wasn't turned to stone if that's what you're asking...

Hey girls!

I'm 21 and have been dealing with AGP and dysphoria for several years now without really knowing what it's called until a few days ago.

I'm 6'2 and 145lb with a sharp jawline and a pretty deep voice and Adam's apple.

Is it possible for me to transition and pass? I've heard that you can shrink on E but even then I'd still be really tall for a girl, would I be too tall to ever pass?

I can't even remember the last time I saw a girl who was 6'+

Please help me, I want to be a girl more than anything else in the world but I just feel like it'll never be possible for me to be accepted as one due to my dimensions / characteristics.

would you wear a silicone mask if it let you pass? aka look up Janet M on flickr

>>8445988
would you kill yourself if your sarcophagus was depicted as a woman?

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>>8440139
Yo compro Espironolocatona en Dr. Simi a $860 (20 pastillas) los días lunes y Primaquin (estradiol) por facebook a $5000 o $5500 la caja de 30 pastillas.
Tengo receta medica pero nunca me la piden en ninguna farmacia.

Mis primeros 6 meses de transición tomaba 1 estradiol y 2 espiro, 3 vece al día (mañana - tarde - noche). Y despues de eso baje la dosis a 1 estra 2 espiro en la mañana, 2 espiro en la tarde, y 1 estra 2 espiro en la noche.

Gasto como $20.000 mensuales en pastillas, y la consulta al doc (Rafael Rios) me cuesta $12.500 cada 3 meses (cruz blanca).

Si quieres me puedes agregar a discord: Fran#9853

>>8447833
Me olvidé mencionar que la Primaquin (estradiol) es de 2mg.
Y además el doc me dijo que es muy importante siempre mantener por lo menos 2 estradiol al día.
Si es necesario bajar la dosis se mantienen 2 pastillas al día pero de menor gramaje, el problema es q es igual de cara.

>>8445318
Shrinking is a hon meme don't expect anything.

Height won't break your chances alone, it's gonna be your proportions and face. The strong jawline is more concerning.

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How the hell do I get injections now?

I'm kicking myself for not ordering Progynon Depot before it was discontinued. My only option for an Endo is going to planned parenthood and they're charging me $270 just for the initial visit.

I don't know what to do.

I want a butt and thighs like this...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UguQnRa0H0g

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>>8441679
I cant add you

Starting hormones hopefully next week ;w;

Couldn't be more excited, I know I'm a late starter at 21 but I'll get there!

>>8450497
i started at 21 as well, i thought i was totally fucked but things are looking up for me
good luck anon

>>8450837
How slow/ fast were your results? I started a year and half ago when I was 20

>>8450497
I started around 23 and things ended up well. Good luck <3

>>8450857
i am only 6 months in, but things are definitely changing and my friend tells me i pass from some angles now

I think I want a different endocrinologist because the one I have no seems rude as fuck and doesn't make me feel comfortable when asking questions. His nurse I spoke to on the phone also seemed snooty. The nurse who took my blood pressure was alright. It seems like the front desk people are much friendlier and have a good bedside manner than the actual medical personal.

What concerns me is that my endocrinologist says that he feels T-blockers aren't necessary because my testosterone levels dropped significantly while just being on estrogen. He gave me numbers too. My estrogen levels currently are at 222. My testosterone level was at a 360 and has dropped to a 18.9. I was afraid to ask what these numbers mean since the guy seems rude. I might have to start self-medding though so what do you recommend when it comes to antiandrogens? What do these numbers mean? I figure they came from the blood test I had to do a week prior to the appointment.

>>8451300
>My estrogen levels currently are at 222. My testosterone level was at a 360 and has dropped to a 18.9.
18.9 is great if the unit is pg/mL.
222 is a good E level for transition.
Do you know how many hours after you took your E the test blood was drawn? If it is just before you take your next pill, then you are OK. You just have to make sure you take your pills on time each day.

>>8451484
He didn't give me pills. He prescribed me patches. The blood test was taken a week before my appointment. The appointment was on a Friday and the blood test was done on the Friday before that one. I think the dosage for the estrogen was 0.1 mg which I was told from this board is the same as 100 mg or whatever.

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>mfw no one here even comes close to looking like cornflakes

>>8453172
>>8451484
>>8451300
Is it possible that I could be this endocrinologist's first transgender patient? He seems kind of inexperience from some questions I ask him.

>>8453172
>>8453317
Bump for responses.

>>8453172
Patches are very good. Where in the patch wearing time period was the test taken? How many days for wearing each one?

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>both my therapist and psychologist diagnosed certain dysphoria
>completed and passed all psych tests
>dat nigga still won't sign me up for endo
>schedules my meetings further and further apart

Seriously considering self-medding if nothing progresses soon

>>8453542
find new ones and self med too

or whatever you know

Out and about so many things feel like reminders that I'm ugly and will always be ugly. Is this dysphoria? Should I prepare for suicide?

okay so I'm really confused here, I went through all the work of getting to the point of my next appointment in 4 weeks confirmed or turning down HRT and now I just feel like I DON'T KNOW because I really want to be on e but I don't really want to lose my dick, i don't know if it's because I deeply love my girlfriend and the possibility of having a kid and regular sex with her is really scary or if i just enjoy having a functional dick... I don't entirely consider myself a sexual person, but for this person that I love very much that enjoys regular sex i feel conflicted??

>>8453546
There are only two gender therapists in my area and the other one is a borderline TERF, so I'm stuck with this one ;–;

But yeah, saving up for self-paid endo and hormones atm

>>8453542
fuck that, fire him.
self-med or give your GP a copy of WPATH and insist they treat you. where about do you live?

>>8453571
I feel you anon
It gets better, or so they say at least
>>8453653
Probably going to self-med, yeah. I live in central Europe

>>8453670
I've no specific advice for central Europe, sorry - maybe post on rasktransgender or something?

Anyone know the average transistion age nowadays, is it still AGP-40

>>8453703
13 I think :^)

Just saw a bunch of photos from my teenage years and its so depressing to see where testosterone just fucked my shit up.


I wish I had started earlier ;_; I'll need FFS to even think of passing, fucking bullshit. If only I bought into the meme at 14

>>8453758
oh god I remember it, I found an old b/w photo fro documents and only had to trim the brows in photoshop - and I looked almost like my mom - cute round face
even at 18 I was salvageable
and now Im JUST

>>8453798
Yeah 18 seems to be the dragons-tail of puberty, I don't look any different from now and 18 apart from my hairline.

What sucks is that I saw a photo where I looked cute and small but now I'm ruined, fucking wish I wasnt a tranny, but I think I got unlucky with my puberty in that 15-16 I was pretty much done with height etc so I wouldve needed MTV to jew my life up like Jazz to ever pass.

>>8453624
>gender therapist
>borderline TERF
WTF

>>8453960
yeah

I've been told she can be really rude to trans women and refuses to prescribe hrt to transbians

>>8454070
Full details on how bad she is?

>>8453501
What are those patches?

Incidentally visiting from another board... If I have a perfectly fine life as a dude and think I'd make a terrible girl (and I wouldn't want to turn out ugly), there's nothing wrong with keeping as it is, right?

Wanting to be a girl was something that I thought about and got upset about a lot more as a kid than I do now, and I'm a 21 year old adult with a good life at this point.

I've noticed everyone calls it "repressing" here when for me it's just living. I honestly don't think I'd have a better life if I tried to transition.

>>8454117
Do you imagine being a girl when you get off? Do you crossdress?

>>8454117
good, enjoy your life and dont listen to trannies, everyone here is projecting

>>8454117
You're just more stable minded.
If you want to turn your world upside down go for it I don't really care.

People want to characterize every little emotion they have because it's easier to blame it on the emotion instead of digging deep and sorting yourself out.

Tbh yeah society is fucked nowadays which is why these weak minded men are getting turned into trannies because they'd rather be subjugated by dick than take on the responsibility of being a man.
Being a man is tough. Being a tranny is hell.

>>8454154
>Do you imagine being a girl when you get off?
Yeah, actually the vast majority of the time.
>Do you crossdress?
Did as a kid a little bit. Didn't really understand what it meant at the time.

>>8454209
>>8454245
I see what you guys are saying.
>Being a man is tough. Being a tranny is hell.
Exactly, that's my big worry.

>smooth face edition
>spent entire day plucking facial hair
I need an epilator.

>>8453501
I did the test on a Friday the week before my appointment which was also this past Friday. I did when the patch was still on since I swap them every Sunday near the start of a week. Which means I have to start a new one this weekend.

>>8455051
Likely your T won't be much higher on Sunday. T is already on the low side so that likely isn't an issue.

You may wish to skew around the patch change date to Thursday. That way it is peaking in output on Friday and Saturday. Patches drop some in output as time goes on. I don't know of average curves seen for 7 day patches. For the 4 day patches, on the last wear day they have dropped by over 40% from their peak output.

>>8455260
Mine is a 7 day so how should I go about switching it to Thursday when I will have to dispose of this old one soon? And a lot of folks here make me nervous that I would need those T blockers. The folks on Reddit (yes, I get input from varying communities) say that hormones are a YMMV (your mileage may vary) type of thing to where some don't need blockers if their T is low. Yet I am still nervous.

>>8394577
>implying that this board isn't basically tumblr

>>8455433
What you really need is a T blood test just before you change patches to be sure.

>>8400245
livestream

>>8455731
Isn't that what the blood tests they have me do covers? How else would he be able to give me those numbers for testosterone and estrogen? I'm not sure how to change days now that I apply them on Saturday. The place where I get my lab work done is closed on the weekends too. I've thought about changing it to Mondays.

>>8455965
I was saying have the testosterone test done the day you change your patch. have the blood drawn just before you change the patch.

>>8454117
>I've noticed everyone calls it "repressing" here when for me it's just living
I'm in a similar position. I've sort of resided to living as a boy for the indefinite future, but I'm also trying to stop doing anything that is repressive. Like I want to embrace it, but in personal and private ways. I'm slowly teaching myself how to do makeup, for instance.

Having said that, I still expect this to blow up in my face eventually. And some day I might look back at this time and really regret not transitioning.

>>8455731
Patches don't drop in E over it's usage, maybe up to 10% or so.
As long as you change them in time, of course, they do have a very quick drop off if you don't change them in time.

>6 months in
>never present girl
>fail boy mode weekly, if not daily
maybe i should start trying soon desu

>>8456269
Has it to be one day before I change the patch not two days before?

>>8457637
hiding this post :(