/ftmg/ - female to male general

I'm in. I don't have anything to post though.

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Contributing with kyudo

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>>8189044

>>8188541
>was weirdly sad to let go of one dress because it was this sick skull pattern
>gave it to a good friend with occasional benefits
>it's now her date dress and makes her tits look e n o r m o u s

things work out sometimes

>>8189004
I've always set all kinds of shit on fire, I might have a problem.

sounds good... i wannamake/play with a cuban revolution style "m-16" .

>>8188711
>>8189043

from the last thread... i'm very proud, and there's my way too long response

btw... diatomaceous earth is great pest control, egg shells can keep some animals away and also add nutrients to the soil, and coffee grounds are great for adding nitrogen...

>>8189061

wanna make*

>>8189057

eh... so have i, its been a while though... when we were in hs my s/o and i made napalm in his backyard while his dad was at work and his mom was asleep...

we took a big metal bowl out of the kitchen, made napalm in it, and then set it on fire (in the bowl, it was just full of fucking napalm)

i've never seen flames shoot from the ground floor to the top of a three story building before or since... we put it out pretty quick cuz his mom is terrifying and we didn't wanna get caught...

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i prefer hand to hand combat.

just asking, what is your sexual orientation /ftmg/?

http://www.strawpoll.me/12843538/

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>>8189123
>1 gay
allright who's the fagit

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>>8189155
Hello

>>8189061
It's kale, kohlrabi, radishes and beets. Also have some chives and bell peppers. And an avocado tree, but he's hanging out inside the house for warmth.

Thanks for the tips. The coffee grounds thing is something people tell me all the time. Do you just add it to the soil or does it need to be composted first?

What's a panda plant?

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I'm a pacifist/antiviolence, so clearly this is not my thread, lmao. Most /k/ thing I do is hang out in the woods and cook with my friends. Sometimes not even in the woods.

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>>8189170
hello you

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>>8189004
Anyone wanna join to shoot and set these on fire?
Mediterranean is a good hunting ground

>>8189180
I agree with you, although blowing stuff up is fun.

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>>8189184
found the edgelord

>>8189179

nice... how old is the avocado tree? they take years to bear fruit don't they?

you can do either with the coffee depending on how the plants are doing, if they need nitrogen cuz they're deficient you can just put it directly on top of the soil around the base of the plant...

a panda plant is a succulent, it's fuzzy though... so it looks like a furry jade plant pretty much and the edges of the leaves have spots on them

>>8189180

so you don't think violence is ever necessary? genuinely curious... i see it as an important last resort, it should never be the first measure, but sometimes it's gotta happen cuz it gets shit done...

>>8189187
I just don't wanna get overrun by third world hordes who turn everything into a shithole

>>8189214
He isn't old, just 6 months or so. Yeah It takes years to get fruit but that's how it is with all fruit trees. It's better to get a tree now than later because the longer I postpone getting fruit trees the longer I have to wait for fruit. If I never get one I never get fruit. I'm also trying to grow some plum trees from seed but they're still too young to know for certain if they're gonna make it. If they do I'm gonna plant them outside and hope that they will still be there 10 years down the road to give fruit. Tried to germinate some apple seeds too but they all died. The only problem with avocado bro is that he can't survive outside here because it's too cold. Idk what to do when he outgrows his comfy place inside.

How can you tell if a plant is deficient in nitrogen?

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>>8189123
Anyone else here into MMA? My favorite fighter of all time is probably Mike Pyle, I tried to autistically grow a mullet that looked like his for a while, didn't go well. I'm trying to get into golden age boxing too.

>>8189273
In that case you should go into politics, prevent disasters such as Syria from happening in the first place and prevent people having to escape from their homes. No one wants to leave everything they love, sell their souls to traffickers and live like dogs in a country where they're hated. They do it because they have to. If shit didn't happen in the first place they wouldn't have to do it.

But you are probably too lazy to actually benefit your country so why would you. Let's just kill loads of people instead huh? That will fucking solve everything.

>>8189297
apple seeds from most almost all commercial apples are infertile. Apple trees are normally grown by germinating and growing a seed from an inedible variety and then grafting a branch from a pre-existing edible tree onto the trunk.

>>8189297

yeah, they all do... i just vaguely remember reading somewhere that they take longer than other fruit trees typically do... you could always get it as big as possible, and then treat it like a large bonsai... a lot if trees take well enough to that and still bear fruit

but yeah getting as many as possible now is better for later... what growing zone are you in?

did you stratify the apple seeds pre-germination? i'm pretty sure they're like grape seeds and require a stratification period before you can grow then... basically you put the seeds in a freezer for a while to simulate winter

nitrogen deficient plants generally start to turn yellow, if you catch it quickly you'll notice it the most on the bottom leaves if a plant...

>>8189334

them*

>>8189323

the seeds might not have been infertile... if they weren't stratified first they wouldn't grow either even if the seeds were good... commercial places typically use grafts for new trees cuz you get fruit quicker too

>>8189323
They came from old local breed varieties. Not commercial ones.

>>8189334
Growing zone. No idea. Apple and plum trees grow really well here though, and the winters are mild.

How do you make a bonsai?

I didn't stratify them. That's probably where I fucked up. You think it's too late to start again in order to plant them outside this summer/autumn?

>>8189297

+ btw... you might find this useful willowbark can be used to stimulate root growth hormones in other plants... so if you're growing shit from cuttings it can be really helpful if you use a bunch of it to make a really concentrated tea for the cuttings

>>8189357
Wow thanks. That's kind of awesome. Should probably go willow hunting anyway. Their goosepoop babies (or whatever it's called in English) are full of pollen and I want to harvest it this year for health food meme gains.

>>8189354

yeah without the winter simulation they don't germinate... they need it

idk exactly how long the stratification period for apples is, at least a month if not more, but by the time that's done and then germination etc they probably won't be strong enough to be outside during the winter... indoors this year and outdoors next is definitely possible though...

unless you build a cold box

>>8189366

np... willows can actually grow and root themselves from a branch if one gets broken off, so they're perfect for it...

i've never tried to see if there was any validity to the pollen health meme...

also when you harvest the kale leave the stalk, you can get more than one harvest from kale depending... the kale i planted last year at my mother's is coming back... i'm surprised considering the winter, but yeah...

>>8186577

Two weeks is nothing. You will get puberty gains and summer bliss, dude. Maybe you can go and work out to pass the time quicker.

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>>8189315
What country hates refugees? The majority of these EU countries love them. Germany, France, Italy, etc. Hell even Canada. Most people welcome refugees with open arms. You stupid, straw manning shitstain.

Im the guy who misses wearing dresses. To answer the person's question, yes I'm gay.

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>>8189437
fag

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>>8189431
You have to go back
>>>/pol/

>>8189431

Looked up pic related, the victim family were refugees too. The girl wasn't raped, he was caught in time. The father lunged at him in full view of police after warnings.
Still a shitty situation, but it's not the "refugees raping our kids under police protection" the tween paints it as.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/767521/pakistani-immigrant-sex-abuse-rape-girl-Germany-suspended-jail-sentence

>>8189354

btw i would double check a map for a growing zone but you're probably in the 5-7 range if i had to guess... what kinda native plants are there?

it's really useful to know the zone you're in when. it comes to planning shit out... some plants are perennial in some zones but annual in others and whatnot...

with bonsai trees you have to prune them and keep the roots under control...

>>8189398
Nice, maybe I can try to plant some willows too. They're not that common here. Pain killers from the bark too.

On the pollen thing, Idk. I don't believe in 'superfoods' and other stuff like that but I like to have variety to get creative with. And it does give shitloads of antioxidants so there's that. If it's anything like its smell it will be a badass addition to soups and stuff. Maybe in coffee too.

>>8189503

kek, the tweet, not the tween.

>>8189437
No, you're a straight cissy who made a very big mistake.

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>>8189506
You mean like pic related? It's what came up when I googled growing zones, along with loads of US ones. I think the term is more used over at your side of the pond than here. It gives me an 8, along with Paris, Brussel and Glasgow. Weird. I would have though Paris is a lot milder than Glasgow.

>>8189510
kek

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>>8189524
Found a better one. This makes more sense.

>>8189170
Would you be able to raise that for meat? Makes nice fur too.

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FTM Discord server:
https://discord.gg/MjTh3Z8

For FTMs, by FTMs.

>>8189541
>invite has expired

>>8189548
F U C K

https://discord.gg/6BpMyXt

>>8189508
people who say badass are so cringey.
it isn't 1990 anymore.

>>8189564
Alright junior, what to the kids say these days?

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>>8189564
>it isn't 1990 anymore
Says who.

>>8189540

Apparently if you only ate rabbits, you'd die of malnutrition. I remember seeing something along those lines on QI.

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>>8189564

>>8189570
Rabbit starvation can come from any all-protein diet. If you ate fatty rabbits you could survive, but it would be very painful

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>>8189580

>>8189214
"Last resort" is a highly subjective term. If you say "there are circumstances in which violence is justified", then you can't take that back when someone you dislike defines the circumstances, and who decides who gets to define the circumstances anyway? With that said, I recognize that violence is a part of our modern day society, and that getting from where we are to the ideal nonviolent society is a long one.

But it does start with the choices of individuals, and while me being nonviolent won't change the world, at least I'm not making things worse.

>Tl;dr:
I legitimately believe that there is no situation that justifies violence, but I recognize that refraining isn't always an option.

I also recognize that violence doesn't have to be physical but can be psychological, but I pick my fights, I suppose.

>>8189273
My mothers SO acted as contact person for two immigrant men age 18 and 16, and I speak to older first gen immigrants practically daily. Mostly from eastern europe and balkan, but also from Turkey, parts of Africa, the arab world... They're no worse or better than the rest of us. A bit harder to understand, occasionally. A lot of them know I'm bi, some of them probably figured I'm trans (they ask if I'm a girl or guy and take my word for it when I say I'm a guy, unlike a lot of westeners who ask if I'm trans). But generally? Kind, funny, passionate and curious. You have a very limiting way to look at your fellow humans.

>>8189437
I'm bi and I also miss dresses. Might still just wear them sometimes. idgaf

I keep having homeless guys in my neighborhood catcall/flirt with me. It makes me feel simultaneously disgusted and dysphoric

>>8189859
beat them with sticks

>>8189556
THIS IS A GOOD CHAT YOU GUYS SHOULD JOIN

>>8189900
yeast infections and poop jokes

>>8189508

willows need a lot of water and do best by lakes or along rivers and whatnot (which is where you're likely to find them) so they're not good in areas where they can't get that... they destroy pipes and shit with their roots...

but yeah willowbark is aspirin basically, so if you're allergic don't use it as a painkiller

i get you... i'd probably have a terrible reaction to that though...

>>8189524

idk why i thought europe was generally colder... i was there in the spring years ago and paris and london didn't seem much warmer than it gets here

anyway... you can find what does best there and plant for every season if you wantef to... just remember to cycle through crops so you don't drain the soil + you'll get different plants to thrive by doing that... nightshades (like eggplant and peppers) often will drain the soil of the nutrients they need to thrive, but they also create an environment that's great for other plants, but i'm too high to be useful about which right now

>>8189734

it is subjective sure, and i guess it's a matter of people sometimes needing to trust their judgment... do you think every revolution, everyone on either side of a war, every fight for rights has been completely unjustified?

sure there's problems depending on who's in charge (and regardless), but does that mean it's never been important?

can you think of peaceful ways to solve all major conflicts? peace is an important side of every conflict, and pacifism has its place i can acknowledge that... but being realistic, violence sometimes needs to happen

better that it's not everyone of course, but strictly peaceful means never accomplishes much...

sure everything is subjective, but subjectivity doesn't ultimately mean much does it? people's subjectivity shapes the world, that's just how it works...

violence in the short term doesn't always make a place or the world worse in the longterm, sometimes passivity makes things worse longterm though... subjective i suppose, but sometimes complacency and passivity in a world full of violence means being subject to the complete control of the will of others... no matter whose best interest they have in mind

>>8190148
I think it is hilarious how autists love to spew common facts as if nobody knows salicylic acid is aspirin.
That doesn't mean you're just going to go chew some willow bark when you have a headache, lol.
Be a teacher if you want to spend all day talking down to people.

>>8190222
you need to process it, but yes you can make aspirin from willow bark

>>8190222

of course people know what it is, me reiterating it wasn't an assumption about anyone else's knowledge... i just figure it's better to mention it cuz i'm saying it without knowing who's reading it and who isn't...

i'm sorry you're taking me feeling like a potential allergic reaction is worth mentioning when discussing the consumption of a plant in a thread as some sorta insult against anyone's intelligence or an assumption of what they know or don't know... any reason you're hostile about it?

>>8190222

who said anything about chewing the wood btw? usually when you use plants for that kinda thing you aren't just consuming them as is...

>>8190148
So no willows near a house then. There's loads of water here. Can I just take willow branches and stick then in the ground near water sources or do I need to tend them first?

The peppers are demanding little faggots, that's for sure. You think potatoes is a good follow up. I want to plant potatoes everywhere. Can sweet potato grow here you think? What do sweet potatoes need?
What food plants do you know of that will keep themselves growing like weeds? I have raspberries here that grows like ninjas. They are like rats of the plant world except tasty and harmless. Not saying rats aren't tasty but they're damn annoying.

>>8189004
I think trannies should be banned from having guns.

You all most likely Have BDD or BPD or schizophrenia. You should absolutely NOT have a weapon capable of killing others (or yourself, which lets face it, being a tranny it's more likely you'll just kys with it.)

>>8190318
what if I have none of those things and I'm not suicidal

>>8190318
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJAlIHsXcLY&feature=youtu.be&t=1m39s

>>8190318
Guns are illegal here anyway

>>8190311

yeah they'd fuck a house up... they need a lot of water to get roots, so you might need to tend to it... you could get the roots started then plant them i guess, or just visit often if you want to get them started... as soon as there's growth it can take care of itself, unless there's a lot of rain

i don't know a ton about root vegetables honestly... i don't eat them or grow them, only sweet potatoes i've ever had were ornamental ones

off the top of my head blueberries, wineberries,grapes... you could also cultivate native edible plants if you wanted to try that, mixing native plants in is good anyway and they need less

you could grow lilacs they're good for winemaking too, pretty sure they'd do well there

any kinda squash is good too, grows like crazy and the flowers are edible too

if i was ever eating meat again i'd try rat... being vegan has made me just see meat as meat pretty much...

>>8190153
Historically, the most bountiful periods of european histories have been the periods of peace.

Again, just because I don't think violence can be justified doesn't mean I don't think it can be productive. I am fully aware that complete nonviolence is not an option in our current society. Another thing worth noting is that nonviolence is not the same thing as complacency or passivism. Ghandi and MLK were nonviolent, but they sure as hell werent passive.

Effective diplomacy can substitute violence in most situations, unfortunately there's a tight balance of diplomacy and power that any politician must walk, and most people can't do it. Physical violence is a easy tool to power, so of course it is tempting. This last paragraph is mostly just loose thoughts, though.

>>8190318
Optionally, there's absolutely no reason a private person that doesn't need it for their profession should have a gun to begin with.

>>8190457

depends on how you define bountiful, and there's never really been peace throughout that large of a region... the roman empire was built on war and conquest and was extremely successful and advanced... the empire was constantly at war though, peace typically just exists within bubbles that are there cuz of wars going on outside of them...

mlk didn't single handedly make the civil rights movement work... great face sure, but malcolm x was critical to the movement too... like i said peace has its place in a conflict, it's one tool, and it's a necessary one... but change is typically achieved when peace and violence work together for a cause...

>>8190520

roman empire* my bad

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>Came out to a friend a few days ago
>he has been flirting with me for a while before I came out
>keeps flirting even though I came out
>he and I gets left alone in discord chat
>"Oh it's just you and me, aka bisexual"

What did he mean by this?

>>8190706
Suck his dick

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>>8189510
I'm not cis though

>>8190839
Will do.

>>8189315
>too lazy
>prevent disasters such as Syria
Yeah because anyone who doesn't prevent wars from happening means they're lazy.

And is this your answer to every problem in life? Instead of coming up with a solution for the issue at hand just stop similar events from happening in the future?

>tfw friend told me few weeks ago he never saw me as a guy
>tfw he and I cuddled yesterday

I-i don't know how to feel. I thought I was straight but I'm really lonely. I know I wouldn't have sex with him. Cuddling felt good but then I thought about how HE probably saw it ("I'm laying beside a cute chick that I want to fuck") and now I'm really dysphoric.

>>8190950
Are you the same person who made a thread about this a while ago?

I just stumbled upon two girls dating on instagram who literally are always dressed up as a different anime yaoi couples and call themselves boys, although one said they like "playing with gender" like it's a game.

I thought this was a meme

>>8190706

it means you can get it...

>>8190900

well... he's been completely honest about what he sees you as... so of course he was thinking of you as a chick during that... does your loneliness outweigh your dysphoria and self respect? if it does then you should reevaluate your own behaviour and your relationship with him...

it's that simple, even if it doesn't feel that way...

>>8191288
Yes, same person

The bartender called me cute. She's really pretty but taller and bigger than me and a little chubby. What do lads?

>>8191396

she only called you cute, that kinda thing doesn't mean much... people just kinda throw compliments around...

that being said... why not get to know her and see how you feel about that shit once you do? if it's even relevant... she's a bartender though, they flirt for tips sometimes

>>8191362
If only it were a meme
I can't wait for these girls to fuck off somewhere and fade away when it stops being cool to be trans

>>8190860
yes you are you stupid fucking trender

>>8191396
suck her dick

I need some advice.

>Move to small city to live closer to grandparents
>Transferred all my medications
>Phamacist whines over the phone and practically cries because I need my heart medications
>Pick up my meds
>6 ft fatty typical mommas boy
>Oh great
>Ask for injection supplies and questions why I need it, first time being questioned about it
>Tell him I inject T
>I told him I'll just go and pick up supplies from my old pharmacy since they probably think I'm a junkie
>Get a message on phone from annoying pharmacist saying he has my T injection supplies
>Go and pick up my stuff
>Go home and find out it's wrong size
>Ask for an exchange next day
>He almost refused to exchange them
>Tells me they can't be able to do this next time if it happens

WTF he ordered them without me confirming and then refused to do this again. What should I do?

I could possibly just switch pharmacies but it would mean it's across the city. I'm severely disabled. I have heart failure so I can't afford a car until I pass the road test and get my ass back to work.

>>8191935
Ima dummy, should have refused supplies first.

Got my period today and I feel like just grabbing a kitchen knife and practising a hysterectomy at home. Why must I be cursed with a female body. Did we do anything to deserve it

>>8192233
dubbie dubs
It's a test from the gods to prove our might. If we pass we become shamans.

>>8192233
>Did we do anything to deserve it
In a past life you were a male feminist.

>>8192233

yeah, think about the worst thing you've ever done, that's why you're trans...

>>8192594
This...is actually pretty damn accurate, if you search deep enough.

>>8192594
bruh don't say "dubbie"

>>8192744

isn't there more to it than suffering?

>>8190311

just thought about it and sweet potatoes are related to morning glory... those can thrive in most kinds of soil including really poor soil, so sweet potatoes probably don't need much... can't tell you for sure, but yeah... usually related plants require similar care

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>>8192790
dubbie dubbie dubbie

>>8192846
After night comes day

>>8192963
Nice. Now that you mention it I should probably get some morning glory too. Can they handle clay soil you think?

>>8190423
Loads of blueberries here, so I don't need to grow them. Same with lingonberries. Grapes can't grow here, unfortunately. Gonna get some squash seeds though. Can you take them from a fruit or do you need to buy seeds at the store?

Do all transguys have high pec insertions?

>>8193322
???

>>8193380
Pec muscles placed high on the chest rather than at normal level. All the top surgeries I've seen make it look like their wearing a high semi-visible bikini.

>>8191917
Guy, i wish it was just a trend. I could repair my life if it was.

>>8193882
Dresses don't really make you a girl, I kinda miss skirts but I don't wear them at all cause boy mode.

But idk man. It's just clothing anyway.

>>8193154

yeah... i vaguely remember some shit i've read about shaman sickness and whatnot a while back... it stops after a near death experience or some shit right?

they can yeah... they can tolerate most conditions and soil + you may as well if you wanna try lsa though i've heard it's best to have a fair amount of experience with other shit before trying it...

everyone i've known whose tried it has said it wasn't entirely pleasant... my s/o tried it when we were 15, but he doesn't remember anything really... just waking up in his closet the next day and his room being a wreck and covered in puke...

there's a lot of blueberries around here too... wineberries and wild grapes too... i'm surprised grapes don't grow there they can handle almost every zone and poor soil... just a matter of drainage (so they take work in clay soil) and they do better on slanted ground

you would probably have luck with purslane... edible succulent, works well for cooking, and can handle harsh soil... i've had it a couple of times, but there's another edible plant that grows here that has a p name too and one is peppery the other isn't... can't remember which is which (or the name of the other plant) but yeah purslane is either peppery or has a more neutral flavour...

depends on the quality of the fruit you try to take them from, my old roommate had pumpkins everywhere from one he bought that rotted on his lawn, but you might be better off with getting seeds rather than potentially wasting your time...

How do you know if you're just butch as fuck or FtM?

How do you guys deal with being short? I'm 5"2/157cm tall. I didn't sleep, eat or exercise much during puberty and now I regret my entire life.

>>8193952

well... i'm not butch as fuck and have dysphoria, so it's easy enough...

>>8193955

i'm shorter than you (5') ... and idk, i don't really think about it... my family (especially my dad's side) i actually could've been worse off so all things considered it's alright... besides i'm puerto rican/cuban/italian, being really short isn't exactly unheard of...

>>8193970

+ dysphoria is pretty much exactly how you answer that question... if you don't have dysphoria then you aren't trans if you do then you are...

>>8193952
The difference is that a ftm feels distress over his feminine features and his vagina/boobs. While a butch is completely fine with having a female body and being seen as a female by potential lovers and/or people in general.

>>8193955
I'm 5"7 but I always try on some serious heeled sneakers that look natural. Sometime even insole heels that you insert into the shoe. Plus stretching your body out daily couldn't hurt?

Where can I buy shoes on a good budget? Even the smallest shoes in the walmart mens shoes section are too big, but in the children's shoes section I dont fit in the largest ones. I'm in between.

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>>8189004
What is this, STALKER cosplay?

>>8193955
I'm the same height and I ate and slept pretty normally during puberty. Had I not done that, I would've been even shorter than that. It sucks but you just have to deal with it. I usually go for shoes that have a bit of a heel, like sneakers with a platform-ish thing of about an inch. Not sure if you get what I mean, I'm shit at explaining things. Other than that there isn't really anything you can do about it besides just accept it's never going to change.

>>8193955
I'm 5'0 and I didn't sleep or exercise right during puberty, only ate right. sucks :\ small chance if you start T before 25 you can grow a little taller, it might help if you work out a bit too

>tfw 6'2
My dad and brother are both 6'5 so I'm still the shortest man in my family, but I feel blessed to not be a manlet.

I feel bad about being a bi trans man. I want to be straight.

>>8194133
Only date girls. Voila, straight

>>8194133
not to sound like an sjw but you should work on not having internalized homophobia then cuz yknow... you can't actually be straight... cuz you can't change your sexual orientation

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Can anyone who's been on T for a long time tell me how long it took for their tendons to beef up? I've been getting significant muscle gain but have noticed some wrist pain and the internet tells me this is from muscles getting bigger before tendons have the chance to catch up. No mention of time scales that I can see, though.

>>8194133

is what it is... but you could always just date girls if you care that much...

>>8194149

this isn't me btw...

>>8194101
post proof or I don't believe you

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>>8194060
cheeki breeki

>>8194055
Teenage shops, or brands that target that group. Basically any tweener place. You can also use wool socks in winter to fill out big shoes.

>>8193932
Fuck it I'm gonna try grapes. If it fails no harm done. I'm not actually sure if anyone have tried it around here. People don't try new things.

Shaman sickness. Which tradition are we talking about now?

what shoes can fit shoe inserts? I have inserts but they make my boots really uncomfortable. if I buy one size up I look like a hobbit.

>>8193970
>>8194022
What does dysphoria feel like? I've thought I felt it before, particularly about my tits, but it's been a couple years since then.

>>8194584
some things it can feel like:

* Distress over having tits, like they shouldn't be there, they feel foreign to you, they feel like having water balloons strapped to your chest that you can't take off, and/or they make you unable to see yourself for who you truly are (male)

* Phantom peen, distress over not having a penis, wishing to have a penis, putting long things in your pants when you were younger, feeling you should be able to jerk off to porn, often nearly making reference to jerking off / having a penis in conversation and then remembering you do not have one

* Feeling you have a "male alter ego," feeling you should grow up to be an adult male

* Having no desire to be a mother one day, but do wish to be a father

* No desire to be pregnant, but would be interested in impregnating a woman

* Feeling female hormones are poisoning you, destroying your mental health, that testosterone creates more mental stability (T levels spike around ovulation and menstruation)

* Feeling you should not menstruate, regardless of pain. For example, personally my periods were always pretty light and the pain was very easily managed with painkillers. Still, I felt indignant, like "my body shouldn't be doing this."

* Masculine or asocial behavior as a kid. Stuff that could be socially constructed doesn't count (pink vs blue, clothing). What count most (imo) is like: Did you play with baby dolls as a kid / play "mommy" ? Did you ever play rough as a kid / were you competitive? Were you not socially well-adjusted, like you couldn't really fit in? Did it seem like gender had to do with that, like you were too rough for the girls, but visually did not blend in with the boys?

Some other possible dysphoria things:

* Feeling your libido should be higher, like a man's

* Wishing your hips weren't as wide

* Wishing you could grow facial hair (even if you would shave it off, it still might feel more "right" to have the hair to shave off in the first place)

>>8194636
PS. everyone has a different experience with gender dysphoria. I think if >50% of that list resonates with you, you should talk to a therapist.

>>8194562
cut them to shape?

>>8194700
They fit width-wise, it's the height that causes the issue. Getting rid of that kinda defeats the purpose.

I need a bf to make me feel girly
I'm 5'2 and really skinny

>>8194710
Dude. Open heel, as it doesn't close in the ankle. It's the type of shoes that feel like flip-flops because they don't have any support back there. You can elevate your foot as much as you want.

>>8194718
>>8194710
Btw not open as in free air, just not closing in with the fabric part, no support etc.>>8194714

>>8194714
>>8194721
Oops. sorry. Can't help you. We're the same height.

>>8194414

i can't see why they wouldn't grow, especially cuz it sounds like you have some similar native plants and there's wild grapes all over around here... i'd dig a hole that's somewhat deep and put rocks in it to encourage drainage before planting them... and like i said they need a slant... if you start with bare vines that just have roots they need to be watered frequently 'til there's growth and then you slow down with watering them... i think it's usually 2 or 3 years to get grapes, but at least you can eat/cook with the leaves 'til then anyway...

they don't need a lot of nutrients (though blood meal can be good for them every once in a while... bone meal too), and can take heavy pruning... they do get a specific pest but if you plant shit like mint, lavender, basil, lemon balm, lemon verbena etc around you can minimize some pests + things like cinnamon and clove can be used as pest repellent too, or just watered down dish soap... idk how natural you prefer to do things

idk enough about that shit to give you exact details, but my understanding is that shaman sickness is physical or mental illness that's supposed to bring someone further in touch with the spirit world... it's some trial and it's typically supposed to end with a near death experience that brings the person to their calling... there's a lot of shit about madness and visions of being ripped apart, it's all oddly dionysian honestly...

but yeah... shamans are supposed to deal with illness, die or almost die, and then be "reborn" as a shaman... weird shit

it's kinda sad really cuz the idea gets tossed around a lot by people who have chronic illnesses and shit like they're expecting some divine intervention or some shit that's gonna make them magic... and then cuz people who discuss it say it's not a medical issue, but a spiritual one doctors can't treat thr idea can kinda discourage medical treatment... so it's kinda presented frequently in a way that's irresponsible and predatory

>>8194584

in my experience it doesn't go away and in the simplest terms it's a disconnect from physical aspects of your body that cause significant distress... parts of your body might not feel like they're yours, or you feel like you're missing parts and so on...

it's not like something you feel once for a little while then it's gone and you move on... that's just temporary discomfort

>>8194726
>>8194414

+ btw when i say it's dionysian i'm talking specifically about one of his birth myths where he's ripped apart as a baby, boiled, eaten and then reborn from the heart that was left (though semele dying from lightning and him being sewn into zeus' thigh after is similar too i guess... the alternate birth myth) and the other myth about him being struck by madness and wandering around until he was cured by a woman ,whose name isn't coming to me right now, and taught how to cultivate the vine... i wanna say it was hestia, but fuck if i know for sure and i'm not looking it up... anyway once cured he took up his throne and all that other shit and so on...

>>8193322
No but my pecs make me look like I lift which I haven't for years and they still look the same.

>>8194167
Been on T for 7-8 years. Tendons are very sensitive and tear up, one of the common side effects. So work out on them, it doesn't take long to notice muscle gains like min of 3 months to notice any changes. Within weeks the tendons won't be so irritable if ya work out properly.

>>8194726

+ be careful with cloves btw as pest repellent, it can burn leaves... garlic works too, actually a combination of cinnamon and garlic is really good at getting rid of whiteflies and shit

>>8193117
POST MOAR KITTY

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>>8194793
no

>>8194726
Thanks, you are a plant wiz if I ever know one. How come cloves burn leaves?

With the shaman sickness thing it can be a bit sketchy. It's all about how the individual goes through everything, but so much mental illness start out as a liminal phase thing where there's total destruction and an individual desperately leach on to what's there. That's how cults operate. If they can bring an individual to that point, they can brainwash them completely. However individuals in the right circumstances can benefit greatly from that kind of phase. All cultures, no exception, have a liminal phase with transformative properties, but how it is used and how sustainable it is depends a lot about the context. When it comes to shaman traditions and modern learnings of it then it can go both ways. You have both manipulative teachers that can damage people by swaying them from their vulnerable situation, to proper people who recognize the situation and carry people through. Unfortunately people are rarely in a state to recognize it. For example there are so many creeps taking advantage of travelers looking for ayahuasca in Central America. It's scary.

Dionysus, I've never heard his birth myth before. Tell more if you feel like it. Fucking interesting.

>>8194842
*leech

>>8194842

i feel like i don't know nearly enough, and don't have nearly enough practice with the knowledge i do have honestly... lack of real stability has made my level of knowledge through experience limited...

i'm not sure why they do, chemical in them i would imagine, but they can... makes sense if you've ever touched clove oil it can have a bit of a burning sensation too on your skin...

well yeah cults and organized religions generally pray on weakness, but that's the thing with the way people set up shaman sickness... they list off shit that's either mental illness or non-cureable/treatable physical illness and then push that narrative... i get the old school significance of it and whatnot, i just generally dislike the potential predatory nature of statements like that... there's a personal level to my dislike of it, having an incurable and untreatable chronic illness personally i know the level of every day damage it can cause well... and while i'm not the kinda person who buys into shit like that, it does happen... one of my aunts (fucking dumbass btw) actually died from lupus and diverticulitis complications cuz she decided to listen to a fucking psychic who told her she was fine instead of going to a doctor when she could've actually done something... and to an extent it's a matter of "don't be stupid" sure, but at the same time stupid people exist and preying on them is fucked... i'm cut off by choice from that side of my family though, they're fucking nearly all crazy

his birth myth in both versions starts out pretty basic, zeus commiting adultery (in some cases it's persophone rather than semele) and hera losing her shit... in one myth dionysus was born first and then ripped apart like i said and in the other hera convinces semele she wants to see zeus' true form, and she dies when she does and he saves the baby... in both myths after his rebirth he's taken away by hermes and hidden away and raised (as a girl) by nymphs

>>8194842

i would love to take ayahuasca, but not with one of those fucking ceremonies going on... i wouldn't wanna be tripping balls with some fucking guy chanting over me or some shit, that seems unpleasant to say the least...

>>8194842

weird story about my aunt that died btw, you might appreciate this... about a month or so before she ended up in the hospital (while everything was still "nothing is wrong she's doing fine") i had a dream about her dying, and that side of the family having a weird early holiday celebration as a memorial... told my mother about it, and she bitched at me about how "mean" of a dream it was and that i shouldn't say shit like that etc

month later she's in the hospital, less than a week later she was dead... my uncle (her husband) hated her siblings so not only did he make it so they couldn't see her in the hospital (a couple of them literally snuck in and then ran out to avoid him), but he held the funeral without inviting any of her family... so they decided to have an early thanksgiving as a family in her memory... which was kinda funny as hell considering... i was lucky though, unlike in my dream i got to miss that shit show... and it really fucking was one cuz one of my cousins decided to also get married during that shit ("cuz everyone will be there and there's already food") and they all fought like they do and reminded each other of why they don't spend time together...

but yeah my aunt was an idiot and i can't talk about dreams that are "mean" to my mother now on the off chance she'll take them to heart...

>>8194584
For me, it's a disconnect. Like, I see a body in the mirror, and I think it's an alright body, I'd date that body. It's useful. It does what it should. But it's not mine.

When I was a child, I aggressively rejected femininity. I loved things like My Little Pony, and I wasn't particularly interested in sports, but I loathed playing with dolls and would always go for the soccer games, because I hated the way adults would treat me like a girl.

>>8194957
Stability can benefit knowledge but it can also limit you. By starting from scratch you can bring new projects to life, while other's stay behind with other people. I like to think that way. I plan to start fruit trees everywhere I live, and maybe when I come back I can see them strong. Or maybe they disappear. Who knows.

Cloves are really interesting. The trees themselves are odd and stand out in the rain forest, and the fruit seems hostile. Why someone gathered them as food is beyond me. The magical/medicinal bit is more probable but then why did Europeans bring it back as spice. They grow insanely tall and you need to build ladders. All for tiny star-bullett things with strong smell.

Part of me hopes that you will cocoon and become shaman from your shit existence. It's not that unlikely, that the damage done from lyme will be completely fixable in our time, and that you will be transformed from it. Not believing people who 'cured themselves' though. But I'm with you that it's a wide fall space with this kind stuff that we can't trust a lot of areas because of the prey factor. Your aunt got caught in it. Not the first not the last.

Why was he raised as a girl?

>>8194963
Agree with the ceremony part. Have you known anyone who has gone through it alone?

>>8195004
Have you had more dreams like that?

>>8195065
Amateur. I used to burn my of my sister's dolls.

>>8195195
I tied them to rockets. Good times.

God I want some pain pills. I'm a shitty person and got them from family but that's not viable anymore.

How to get them? You fucks are druggies too right?

>>8195095

yeah a combination of both would be ideal honestly, but my life doesn't really work that way... leaving what i start doesn't bother me it's why i typically plant shit that can spread on its own or take care of itself, but yeah... i thimk it's cool that you plan on doing that, most people don't like bothering with things like that if they're not gonna directly benefit...

they are strange looking yeah... a lot of things that people eat i can't imagine thinking to try first, but then people like my s/o exist so that's probably how that starts... at least a few times a year every year i yell at him for tasting things cuz he thought they seemed edible...

i'd take a near death experience if it meant getting rid of this shit... but really i've just kinda accepted that this my life now, and just gonna be part of it... it sucks and wears me down, but it also put a lot of shit into perspective, and i mean... i tried to kill myself a few months before that, haven't since... i appreciate a lot of shit more now than i did before it happened, and dealing with it reconnected me with interests and things i let slip away over the course of growing up and getting caught up in life... it's changed the way i see a lot of difficult shit, and what i value... so it's been a double edged sword really... there's times where i'm in so much pain i legit think about killing myself just to make it stop, but then it subsides a bit and i get over that... i could do without the shaking, shit not working, and getting all fucked up every time it's rainy though (worse if there's gonna be a thunderstorm... i always know what the weather is gonna be like based on whether or not i'm shaky and twitching etc more accurately than weather forecasts... it's like having a useless superpower), but yeah... it's been about 4 years and i've stopped getting progressively worse and just kinda leveled off so i'm used to it and can handle the idea that it's likely never gonna get better

> Once told my brother as a teenager that I thought of myself as "metrosexual"

> How the fuck did I not realize I was a faggy trans guy sooner jfc

>>8195095

he was raised as a girl to hide him from hera...

nah i don't know anyone who's done it, outside of a friend of a friend and they did a retreat...

i've had a lot of weird dreams... typically my dreams are divided into 3 different kinds of weird (that being one of them), sleep paralysis, or just absolutely nothing... just blackness like when i've opened my 3rd eye at points, and like the time i blacked out on pcp (it was pretty much like i wasn't in my body for a bit, cuz i didn't pass out or anything, but it was like not being there anyway... that was a weird bday)

>>8195311
I'm straight and "faggy" looking, if that helps.

>>8194636
>>8194649
A little under half of that list resonates with me. In particular the genitals thing. I definitely feel like I should have a dick. I remember praying to Santa Claus super young to gift me an attachable penis. I spent a good couple of months peeing upright around that time, too. My breasts piss me off to a degree. I loathe looking/feeling feminine. I masturbate more "like a guy" by jerking/stroking my clit. Being a guy doesn't really sound appealing to me either, though. I enjoy being a gay woman.

I identified as nonbinary for a long time. I sometimes wonder if it's still true. Idk. This shit gets so confusing for me.

>>8195342
>nonbinary
In the same boat. Unsure if it's a meme or what, but I relate strongly.

Maybe I need to just bite the bullet and pay out the ass for gender therapy.

>>8195337
Same. Went to a gay bar with my girlfriend and all the guys started flirting with me. Thought I was a baby fag.

>>8195296
Has your boy every poisoned himself? By accident I mean.

Good that it leveled off, as in at least it doesn't get worse. The pain, I can't even imagine what you're going through. Still thinking you should move to a drier climate. It will at least help with that bit.

Are you guys stable in the Poconos now?

>>8195329
Tell more weird dreams pls

What do you guys use as an after shave?

>>8195917
some weird crap I stole from my dad

>>8195917
Nothing

paranoid my bf gonna leave me for a girl
how i stop this

>>8196265
get a new one

>>8196265
become a girl

>>8196319
>>8196332
alright

>>8196119
>>8196120
Doesn't your face burn after? I shave every day because it grows fucking fast (I've been on T for two months) and it gets itchy if I don't put some aloe on it.

>>8196385
No, not really. The only time I've ever gotten razor burn was when I forgot to wet my razor. But I don't shave every day either, maybe it would make a difference then.

>>8196385
why shave?

>>8196385
I could get away with water and soap with no issue, but I usually don't get a clean shave with that. I just use "Cremo Original Shave Cream" and don't bother with aftershave.

in the last month,
what was the most girly thing that has happened to you?
and what is the most masc thing you did?

>>8196497
Took it up the ass.

>>8196470
I don't like body hair. I also don't really need it to appear manly, I have a square jaw.

>>8196480
>>8196452
My skin has always been super sensitive to razors, it's probably that.

>>8196497
Girly: had to pretend to be a tomboy when hitchhiking with some cool musicians. Only reason they picked me up was because I had a vagina.

Masc: Idk. Smoked my last cigars because some guy mentioned it in thread, and spent a few days tracking deer.

>>8196497
Girly: had to get help from a very, very gay bodybuilder because I worked out the same muscle group for two consecutive days and at the last rep I couldn't lift anymore.

Masc: no idea about what to consider masculine, I only know what's girly and I don't do any of that. Except the shit above I guess.

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do you guys think i will make it?

>>8196627
Get a binder and lose the hat. You don't look like you're on T, am I right?

>>8196627
Yes

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>>8196636
4 months on T

>>8196646
Weird, the dosage must be low.

Anyway, the clothes make you look like a tomboy lesbian. Change it up.

mtfg troll posting pics of a tranny

>>8196497
Girly: had Starbucks like 4 days in a row

Masc: my job is fairly masc. This week it had me drill holes in concrete and bolt down a machine. outside work the most masculine thing I did was sharpen my lawnmower blades.

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>>8196646
you look like an mtf trying to do boymode

>>8196700
Former commercial framer here, what do you do at work? I miss framing but can't due to physical limitations.

>>8196467

girly: had a sleepover with my girl friends

masc: joined a band, pre-t, got away with singing and still being stealth

>>8196752
I'm a service tech on high accuracy measuring machines. It's not usually that laborious, but this week was a new install of a big machine.
Why can't you frame anymore? That sucks.

>>8196646
>wearing a bra
>hey guys do i pass as male??
this must be a troll post

>>8196884
What's he supposed to do, let the boys juggle and press against his top? He can't just pretend they aren't there.

>>8196896
>hasn't heard of binding
>is on T

pick one

it is obviously a troll.
girls who go on T don't keep their hair long and curly and feminine

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>>8196947
i like my boobs i don't want to bind them

>>8196990
AAP

>>8196627
>>8196646
Grow out your eyebrows, cut your hair, burn the cap, and get better clothes.

>>8196997
Do AAPs and AGPs make good boyfriends and girlfriends?

>>8196990
Are you an MTF looking for validation? Your boymode is pretty lackluster, and you got quite the unfortunate skinnyfat fridgebod.

If you are FTM, there is hope if you grow out your brows, give up salvaging your shitty tits, and gain some muscle.

>>8196990
>4 months on T
>hairless

will you still like them when they're covered with hair?
i don't think you're fooling anyone.

>>8197041
this is clearly a mtf seeking validation desu

>>8196497
My gf surprised me with sexy underwear and I literally forgot how words worked for a minute or two. Not sure which category that falls in under, but probably one of them.

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Why do so many ftms try to pull off the backwards cap and beater look? It doesn't look good and it makes you look like a try-hard. Just sit in your pants all day and never leave the house, like I do.

You don't have to worry about passing when you become NEET.

>>8197036
Worst kind of trannies desu.

>>8197198
Idk probably because any other male style can just be seen as androgynous so they try to wear the one thing that makes even cis women look manly.

>>8197250
Explain yourself!

>>8197324
Yaoifags and yurifags who take it to the next level. Can't be taken seriously.

>>8197339
What's the problem with yaoi and yuri?

>>8197198
"wife beaters" are fine to wear out as long as they're a dark color, like navy blue or black

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> 5'0

> wide hips

> 4 mo on T

I'm getting top surgery in 2 months but I think it's barely gonna help. fml desu

>>8197321
All a tank top does is bring attention to how narrow your shoulders are. Even if you have muscle it can look kind of iffy. Cis girls can pull it off because the women's sizes have a tighter fit and the neck is cut lower to show off cleavage. It's less masculine and more sporty looking.

>>8197343
Definitely AAP.

>>8197378
This, I have a black one and it's one of my favorite shirts.

>>8195521

he ate belladonna once, but not enough to actually get sick from... he's like... vaguely cautious i guess would be the only way to describe it, but sometimes we're just walking together and he'll stop and shove something in his face cuz it "looks like it could be eaten" without regard... i can be honest though, he actually does have a really good instinct for what's ok and what isn't and he does test things in a vaguely responsible manner... so it's not too bad, if he didn't have a knack for it though we would spend a lot of spring/summer in the hospital...

i'm at a point where not being in pain feels abnormal, it's honestly why i ended up so bad with heroin cuz it was like feeling human again... but without it i can cope i'm just less functional... it just felt a lot like being myself again is the thing... most days it's in the 3-6 range (on/off throughout the day) and i get a few hours every day usually where i can actually do shit...so i'm pretty grateful for it, i know what the worst case scenario is and i'm not there... and i'm not constantly at my own worst either... when you have something untreatable and incurable there's not much better to hope for you know? the only thing that's actually helped the pain isn't better when used continuously longterm so is what it is...

nah nothing stable yet... working on it...

i hate going on about this kinda thing for a larger audience... i find it awkward for a lot of reasons whether or not it's stupid... i'd be cool with telling you, but not so much here you know?

>>8197440
If it helps your face passes. I wish my eyebrows were that thick. And I need a squarer jaw. And less cheek fat.
Thx now you made me feel bad.

>>8197440
>Tumblr
>that short height
>feminine face

>>8197673
>girly room
>heart phone case

>>8197198
J-list's got pre-orders for perv woody and I kind of want to get him but it's pretty expensive and I'm stingy.
>>8197440
What's that paper next to your mirror? Also is that a stripy binder you're wearing? Sorry for the questions I was just curious.

>>8197724
Paper was a printout from a webpage talking about productivity, I haven't found taping it next to my mirror has helped my productivity at all. The binder is a sports bra.https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01GQP3ONW/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

>>8197692
let me be a faggot in peace

>>8197757
u r a failure of a man.

>>8197825
lol this is such an obvious attempt to get under my skin, it's really funny

>>8197749
ay that patterns kind of cool, lucky you can get away with a sports bra instead of binding.

Also yeah I get the productivity thing. I write something positive to make me want to get on with shit on a whiteboard then once I get back to one of my suicidal phases wipe it off and get angry at my past self for being so positive and unhelpful then repeat.

>>8197617

+ that's not to say i don't experience depression, i do, but i've learned to just withdraw for a bit and focus on other things and push it down...

and honestly all that being said, i would absolutely hate to experience my own temper... more just a matter of what i say, it's all true, but yeah... no

i'll be real about that, it's hard to piss me off and it takes a long time, but nah... actually getting me mad is just... it's never a good thing

positive product of growing up in an abusive household though is i've learned to keep myself in check most of the time, i've focused on other things and i've learned to get over things quickly cuz i had to... when i do feel something it's extremely deep, and me actually doing something is always a matter of impulse

but most of the time i get over things quickly and don't care much...

>>8197835
Thanks. I've got a few pros going for me, but the cons.. oh boy do I hate my height :s

That's relatable. I've found testosterone's helped my productivity & mood a lot. I'm also trying to look into the possibility of an ADHD diagnosis.

Is it even possible for FtMs to early transistion? I had my period at 9 and nearly C-cups by 10

>>8197928
Yes, they'd start the person on blockers when they begin puberty and then testosterone sometime around 14-16 years old.

>>8197940
Psh, my mom didn't even let me choose my own friends at that age. I'm wondering how do people even figure out what being transgender means that early. I thought everyone was flat down there until I saw porn for the first time. Even after that I thought I was somehow special and that I was still a male. Later, when I saw some shemale porn it made me think women could grow dicks and transform into men. After I found out that wasn't the case I was devastated. It wasn't until I was 14 that I learned it was possible to turn into a man and vice versa.

>>8189004
What dose of test did you guys start on and what are you on now?

>>8198326
started at 50mg biweekly, was too little, switched to 50mg weekly, found that was too much, now on 30mg weekly

>>8198276
To be fair, you had an early menarche (average age is 12), and puberty blockers were historically used for precocious puberty, anyway. If a kid is starting puberty really young, they're a good candidate to be on blockers by that alone.

is being really unsure even though I've been diagnosed by two seperate psychologists with gender dysphoria normal?

>>8198623
What are you unsure about? It's normal to be unsure of what to do after being diagnised.

>>8198623

depends... are you unsure of what's wrong or are you unsure of what you should do about it?

>>8198639
>>8198640
I'm unsure that I'm right about being trans. Ive come out to my parents and I'm going down the medical path, but I'm scared that if I pull out then I'll somehow be letting people down. I've been so catastrophically depressed lately that I've been feeling nothing at all, what if what i've thought was dysphoria was just self loathing?

>>8198661
sounds really typical, if you haven't started T i'm sure once you start you'll see a change in your mood and things'll get better

>>8198661
Have you started hormones yet? I would suggest either not starting or stopping, and instead bringing this up with a therapist. It could be the case where you are just self loathing, but in order to find out you have to express your real unfiltered feelings to a professional. I mean, if you're already on hormones, at least try to see a therapist often to explain this to them.


As for my opinion, have you ever experienced dysphoria that didn't correlate to other people? Any dysphoria that's not "social" dysphoria? Like feeling like you have a chest normally and not the boobs you actually have? Having a self image of a man rather than a woman?

>>8197529
oversize button shirts are the way to go, b/c you can hide chest better

>>8198689
Not on hormones, wont be for another 3 years, I'm currently on puberty blockers though.
I feel very uncomfortable relating to my breasts, there is a strong feeling of disgust when looking at them, however when i touch them (while not looking at them) it feels like I am touching someone elses chest, and doesnt make me feel bad, because i cannot relate them to me. Binding makes me feel good (or normal i guess), but also worse once i take it off. I dont have very strong negative feelings towards my vagina but, I would much rather have a penis, and sometimes experience a 'phantom' penis.
As for self image, thats where im kind of caught up. I like looking masculine, and I cannot imagine living to be a middle aged woman (the thought disgusts me). But when doctors or therapists ask me whether I would like to be referred to as he/him or my male name I always say no because it feels strange? Like if these people call me male then it will only be out of pity and not because im a real man, I also feel that being referred to as he/him in some circles and she in the rest of my life will only make the she/her stick out more and worsen my discomfort, is that normal?

>>8198741
Ahhh, I see where you're coming from now. Yes all of that is normal. The stigma that trans people get is that we feel 100% comfortable with being referred to as a male all of a sudden. It's something you'll get used to. But the issue is it feels even more embarrassing, uncomfortable, and depressing when you know you don't pass at all yet because like you said it feels like pity. But like the other anon pointed out, once you get on hormones and start to pass to strangers pronouns and names will come naturally. Just imagine if your whole life all your friends called you by your middle name, but then you switched schools and everyone called you by your first name. It would take getting used to but you understand that your name doesn't define who you are, it's just a word. Same with pronouns. It's how we identify gender expressions, but pronouns to not define someone's gender.

I was the same way. I would almost get mad at people trying to use male pronouns when I was pre-t. Telling them, I'm not picky on those things until a stranger calls me a man with 100% certainty. But my best friend wore me into it slowly as a started t. He switched often between he and she, always hiding it in normal conversation til I got used to it. It comes slowly with some, and with others it will hit you like a wave of self pity/disgust. But it gets normal eventually.

>>8198741
What is it that you want from being a man?

>>8198796
Thank, thats a relief. However is it strange to not feel discomfort towards feminine clothing if its something I've been wearing for years? For school I wear a blouse and skirt with stockings, and last time I was at my therapist she asked if the reason I was feeling so down is because I am wearing female clothing. But I don't really have a problem with it
>>8198811
a normal life? I just want to blend in and live comfortably.

>>8198832
My therapist always told me I was repressing when I told her that I used to wear wigs, dresses, etc. But I feel like femininity and masculinity isn't gender. It's taboo for a man to wear a dress, but wearing a dress doesn't mean you are girl gendered. Idk, you know what I'm saying? You could be subconsciously repressing in order to fit in and hide being "weird" or you could just be feminine based on our society sees you. It's subjective.

>>8198832
But what is it about blending in as a man that you want and can't have blending in as a woman?

>>8198858
Yeah I get what you're saying. I wouldnt say however that I'm feminine or repressing, wearing my uniform just feels normal
>>8198859
I feel unsatisfied with a future as a woman. When I see a couple with a child I think about being a father, I want to go out and have fun with male friends, just being bros. I want to be like my father, not like my mother

>>8198661

well... you should be sure of yourself before you do something irreversible, and you don't owe it to anyone to be one way or another for their sake... you're the one who has to live your life, not them so they shouldn't be a reason to pursue anything

>>8198889
>being a father, I want to go out and have fun with male friends, just being bros. I want to be like my father, not like my mother
Those can all be done without transition.

>>8199659
haha no

>>8199768
???

>>8199659
Yea they can totally be a father with a high pitched voice and tits and shit. Right

Seeing how this is /k/ edition, I have some ancient fireworks in the house. How can I harvest the gunpowder to make sneaky plans? Do I just rip the things open or what?

>>8197617
Your boy sounds like a madman. I do the same though. I almost ate deadly morels yesterday.

I get it with the dreams. It's pretty intimate and all.

>>8197878
Do you experience it difficult to feel when stuff happens?

>>8200689
*Also, headpats to anyone who can give me ideas for sneaky plans.

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I'm on day 4 of not-fucking-washing-this-shirt-let's-cover-it-in-aftershave-instead.
Smells like a dead beaver had sex with Hugh Hefner.

>>8200757
Wash your shirt

>>8200778
no

>>8200689

yeah you just tear them open and empty them, aside from a decent amount of caution it's pretty simple... did you wanna know what it's good for or did you already have something in mind? i mean other than the obvious putting them all together in something...

lucky you didn't eat them... he tends to translate usually being right into being optimistic enough to assume he's gonna be every time...

it's a lot more complicated than that honestly

nah, when something happens i feel it... i can have a hard time doing shit like crying and whatnot, but the emotions themselves are there... plenty of them... can't say i'd mind it if what you asked about was the case though, that sounds preferable

>>8200695

when i think about gunpowder i just think about ping pong balls and something way less sneaky... just off the top of my head

Stalking my old friend on instagram and I looked at one of the tags for a small convention - 90% these three girls all with he/him pronouns. There isn't a clearer case of people doing something to fit in with the people they find cool. Unfortunately in this case it isn't buying the latest clothing item but pretending to have a medical condition that causes 40% of people with it to attempt suicide.

https://www.instagram.com/maxcosplay/
https://www.instagram.com/kuromecosplay/
https://www.instagram.com/salty._.cosplay/
(I'm not posting these hoping hate will be thrown at them just wanted to show you)

>>8200957
This is disgusting. How the fuck do we kill anyone that does this? This trend must die

>>8200757

why aren't you washing or changing your shirt?

>>8200899
>>8200923
Just got the idea of turning them into small firestarter kits for hiking season but I guess the powder is too unstable for that now. The fireworks is from 2000 so not sure. Carrying it in a backpack might also be a bad idea.

But, we do get some giant fly agaric mushrooms around here. I could go to war against them and blow shit up. You know anyone who have tried fly agaric? I am really tempted but it's so unpredictable.

>>8201043
My dad and I are having a standoff with the washing machine. I'm not fucking caving first.

>>8201101

...Do you at least have another shirt?

>>8201101
wash it in the sink

>>8201115
Dad will see it

>>8201110
Three. One is covered in soil atm and the other is my hobo shirt.

>>8200957
Unfortunately for us, that's the majority of ftms. Cosplayers yaoifags.

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>>8201136
Hang them inside out in the fresh air to destink them a little when you're not wearing them.

>One is covered in soil atm
No problem, it's in fashion.

>>8201150
>425 bucks
They're not even trying to pretend haute couture. Just sad.

>>8201062

as long as it's properly contained i can't see why you wouldn't be able to carry it around, and as long as they were stored well the gunpowder should be fine... could always test some first...

our minds go very different places when vague wording is involved, that's funny

anyway...

i don't know anyone who has, but their toxicity is water soluble, i know fuckall about whether or not it affects their psychoactive properties or not... cuz like... i know sometimes one things water soluble and the other isn't

like pain killers with tylenol and water... anyway, you could always try both... blow them up while you learn about their other uses... that might actually spread them though cuz spores... but there's only one way to actually know that i guess, and it would depend on their growth stage anyway

How can you tell if the person you're dating would ever out you? I imagine it's easier to tell if they will find you disgusting and tell all their friends but what about those who are okay with continuing to date you but that if you break up and they have a grudge against you for any reason they'll tell others to get back at you.

so any of you FTMs like to get pentrated by a feminine benis?

>>8201175
This is why you only date other trannies. They know the fear of being outed and if you have a fight and break up they most likely won't say anything because that means you can too.

>>8201101

laundromat, friend's house,or handwash it... or fuck buy a new one... why don't you just have another shirt that you cleaned beforehand cuz the one you're gonna wear is gonna get dirty?

why are you even having a standoff with the washing machine? is it broken? just try to fix it? idk... i always figure if something already doesn't work then it's fine to carefully examine it then take it apart once if you're sure... worst case scenario is it stays broken and there's no difference + it's interesting... picking something apart and learning why it works, and it's annoying to wait on someone else to do it if you don't have to...

or do you mean it's a stand off with each other about the washing machine? cuz even then... any of those other things instead of that...

hope you're at least showering every day if you're wearing the same shirt that long, and not sleeping in it too...

>>8201101
just use the fucking washing machine and stop LARPing out the worst excesses of masculinity

>>8201175

you can't necessarily know any of that, so... try not to worry

>>8201187

can't know for sure 'til you've tried it

>>8201175
Well, you can't.
It all depends on the nature of that person, and I'm guessing, if you're dating them, you obviously have judged them to be somewhat decent thus far.

I mean, I don't think most people would out you out of spite - but it depends on how bad the breakup is and how mature they are, too. They might out you if they might mention to friends that the trans thing was a factor in the breakup, but not because they're being malicious.

So if you're really worried then try and part on amicable terms and try to hold your tongue if things go sour, so you don't make any incendiary comments that would want to make them get you back.

>>8201170
I know of a nerdy forager who boiled out fly agaric to remove the toxins and the hallucinogenics went away with the water. Apparently he could eat the mushrooms just fine after it, not getting poisoned, not getting high, but he didn't eat a whole lot so I'm not convinced.
I should check into that. I've heard something about the toxins and the hallucinogens being the same thing but Idk.

wait, did you mean ping pong balls as a pussy joke?

>>8201234
thats the spirit b b

>>8189180

i'm really curious... what do you think about destruction of property when measures are taken to avoid casualties? some people consider that violent and other people don't

is there an acceptable line of vandalism to you? cuz something like graffiti is a peaceful destructive tool...

you mentioned how being non violent isn't the same as being passive, and you're right... i'm just curious about where your lines are and how you think things should be done

cuz all means that can be utilized are important and should be... so i'm curious about what you think that extends to... is it peaceful protests? is it speeches?

>>8201217
Whoever caves have to wash the table cloths. I'm not doing it. Considering hand washing now. Using a bucket or something.

>>8201219
no

>>8201262

oh nah... wasn't a pussy joke at all... i meant more like you're talking about blowing mushrooms up... that's just not the first thing i thought of... you could use what i was thinking of to do that though

i wonder if you could use the water to get high then... cuz i mean... it wouldn't be like eating the mushroom, especially if you use a lot of water... it'd be the dosing, as long as the heat doesn't degrade the chemical, but that might just be a matter of using low heat to do it...

you'd have food and drugs

>>8201326

laundry isn't even a big deal... it's the easiest fucking chore, you throw things in a machine, add soap, and then it does everything for you... you'll have to pick table cloths up a couple of times and that's it... handwashing the shirt that's covered in soil and washing a shirt that you let get that dirty by hand is gonna actually take more effort than just doing that...

just saying... idk, i'd rather do extra laundry than wear dirty shit personally

>>8201349

+ i'm also lazy and will always choose the easier option that results in me being happier quicker... so there's that

>>8201349
Haha nonononono

Using the washing machine is a nightmare. It is a big noisy monster that goes on for ages, and it makes the house shake. To use it I have to attach all the plumming shit with wrench, make sure everything is effing sealed or else doomsday flood, take care of 90 miles of tubes that all have to go certain places to not pee dirty water everywhere, and then do it all in reverse when the damn thing is done. I also have to stay near it and endure the noise in case any of the tubes get misplaced by pressure and pees dirty water during the flush cycles.

I hate that thing. Fuck washing machines.

So. Tonight when dad's asleep I'm going to wash my shirt in the sink, and then hang it to dry outside my bedroom window so he can't see it. Foolproof.

>>8201408

so... shit's wrong with it then? why not fix it? and still...

>>8201424
It is not broken it has a 'personality'

>>8201336
>you'd have food and drugs
Fucking sold

Why are so many trans men so toxically masculine? You do realize that like >90% of cis men don't act like insecure sexist mountain men, right?

>>8196646
>>8196627
Elanna you are fucking cute

>>8201427

got'cha... well then, suck it up and deal with the process if there's no way to improve it... or handwash, can't go to a friend's house and do laundry there every so often?

>>8201430

i'd try them both separately first though...

>>8201481

i'm not particularly masculine... but some people are just like that, and others are overcompensating... most i've met aren't like that though

>>8201481
It's a defense mechanism to their insecurities. When I first accepted that I was a dude, I felt like I needed to intentionally act "manly" to validate my desire to transition. That combined with bitterness from years of dysphoria and hormonal changes can result in angry toxic neckbeards.

>>8201520
I usually do handwashing to avoid all that but now that my dad is here he'll see it as me trying to avoid doing the communal laundry by only doing my own stuff. Can't do the table cloths in the sink either because they are huge.

>>8201481
Maybe because trans men are just normal guys and sometimes guys happen to be masculine and sexist? Stop holding them to different standards and acting like when trans men are masculine it's because they are insecure but that isn't the case when cis men are.
It's the exact same as having a go at trans men for wearing dresses and being feminine but not cis men.

>>8201481
same reason transgirls act like anime girls. they are obsessed with seeming their correct gender they just go with the stereotypes since they don't know any better.

Guys what do I do when my parents hate them homos and them trannies?

I need T because otherwise I will soon kms. I hate being alive and nothing good is going on in my life.

>>8201727
>>8201604
>>8201481
Stop holding trans people to higher expectations than cis people and chalking up their masculine/feminine or misogynistic/misanderistic behaviours as overcompensation and lack of understanding of their preferred gender and not just how they happen to be.

>>8201762
What kind of position are you in in terms of being able to move out?

>>8201784
Not great, I don't have enough money to do so, and I am still studying. Idk when I will get a job.

I don't know if I will be able to live like this for like 2 more years.

>>8201838
How easy is it to get hormones where you are?

>>8201706

isn't that technically what you are doing though? i don't think you should have to do more than what you need for yourself to avoid some shit like that, but yeah...

he doesn't go out for long enough for you to just wash clothes then?

why use tablecloths when the washing machine is that fucked anyway? seems like unnecessary trouble...

i've never had one come to think of it... in any of my apartments and shit

sounds like an annoying situation...

>>8201762

you need to find shit that adds value to life now aside from just things you want that you gotta work towards and wait for honestly... things you enjoy, things to focus on or learn etc

getting fresh air, exercise, and meditation would all help your state of mind if they aren't things you're doing already... eating healthy improves your mood too, so do decent sleeping habits... loose daily routines usually help people too, so does learning to live in/experience any given moment

you're more than just your body, and in spite of the discomfort certain aspects of it cause you there's other things to appreciate about it anyway... there's a lot to life, suffering through this 'til you can have something better doesn't have to be valueless...

>>8201838

you could live like this for another 2 years, it's just a matter of doing it whether or not you feel like you can... 2 years feels longer than it is, worthwhile shit can take longer than 2 years to get sometimes

>>8201869
I live in SJWeden so it shouldn't be too hard, it's just my parents that is the problem.

>>8201874
Thanks for the advice, my dysphoria has just been extremely bad lately, a person I like I don't think likes me back and school is also going bad.

I should try thinking about other shit. but sometimes bad things just stack up too much, but again, thanks for the advice.

>>8201903
If I were you (which is pretty much what I did), I would try and begin transition and just not tell them. If you can hide it from them, then do. I mean it takes a while for the noticeable changes to really kick in, and even when you get your first facial hair it's going to take a few years before stubble is hard to hide.

Plus, if they're with you everyday then the changes aren't going to be as apparent to them - especially if you maintain girlmode whilst at home.

I'm 4 years now and my dad has only just twigged that I must be taking something, so from personal experience, it is possible.

But Brooklyn's advice is sound and you probably wanna concentrate on setting up other goals in life too, desu.

To those of you who are straight or bi, would you be willing to date a transwoman?
Why or why not?
How important is passing?

And what do you think the pros and cons of dating another trans person would be?

>>8201934
personally if you don't pass, i'd be more open to it if you were like calling yourself 'nonbinary' or something because it'd be hard to completely see you as a woman and I'd feel bad. If they're passing idgaf. (I'm bi btw)

>>8201903

i get that, and there's gonna be times where it gets really bad... that's normal, but you don't have to drown in it and you can actively learn how to get through it in the mean time... it's easier said than done, but it's possible... it doesn't completely fix the problem and you'll still have bad days or weeks or whatever but over time you'll get better at dealing with it

thinking someone doesn't like you back isn't the same as them actually feeling that way... but even if you're right over time this particular person not feeling that way about you isn't gonna feel like it does right now... you're hurt by it now, but it's something that will pass... i know that sounds cold, but sometimes understanding that what you're feeling is temporary can help you move past it quicker even if it feels horrible...

what's going on with school?

could also try doing other things too, anything you've been sorta interested in but haven't learned about yet? or wanted to try and haven't yet? what about things you used to like that stress or daily life has stopped you from doing?

how long have things been as bad as they are right now?

you're welcome btw

>>8201949
would you be willing to take the feminine benis in the masculine vagina?

>>8201934
Yes, I've spent more time lurking on mtfg than anywhere else on 4chan. I've come to know and love a number of the girls there. If I'm going to be with someone, then obviously the type of person they are is important, so as long as they're not batshit cray like Kayla (although something in me does yearn for that savage soul) I see no reason why it wouldn't work.

Obviously passing is important, but I don't seem to share the high standards of most 4chan denizens. If transwoman has a few prominent masculine features, but has been on mones a while and has mastered feminine style and makeup then I'd be like, yeah, pass, whereas most others would doom her to hondom without FFS.

Pros is understanding one another, cons is twice as crazy
con is height difference, which is important
con may also be resentment for some people at not being with a cis partner.

>>8201960
Question poster here, I do pass pretty well according to others but I wouldn't want to use the girltumour sorry

>>8201934
I'd date one as long as she didn't have a beard. I can't really be choosy since I look like shit.

>>8201971
i would use the gt

>>8201933
I don't think it's a good idea to get like, T online from random people, and here in Sweden you need your parents permission to get T, at least before you turn 18. And cause I am 17 I guess I'll wait another year then try getting it.

>>8201954
I'll try my best to push through, it just feels hopeless sometimes, but there is always a day tomorrow I guess.

I know they flirt with me a lot but even if they don't like me, like you said it will pass. It just hurts a lot rn and I can't think straight. But I think I can let it go if I try really hard.

School is going bad cause I think I have ADD or some shit, I am going to a counselor tho so that might get fixed.

I'll try drawing more I guess, and I have started working out more but some days I slack because of no motivation.

Things have been going bad for like 2 months, it feels like forever but it wasn't much better before either, but I guess I'm just overreacting about all this. I should just try keep going, and when I turn 18 get that sweet T and try keep going girl mode at home and come out when it gets too noticeable and hope for the best.

>>8201960
i'm not really into women dominating me when it comes to sex, i'd only really want a cis guy to fuck me in the vag. I'm not really 100% sure how I'd want to have sex w a trans woman, maybe mutual masturbation. It might be icy but my current sex life is shit anyway and if I really like her for other reasons I could look past it.

>>8202017
Ah, I didn't realise you were under 18. If you spoke to a counselor,could you also mention your trans issues?

I don't know how it is in Sweden, but, again from personal experience, if you can get the ball rolling getting treated, then do it asap. Like, you may not be able to start T now, but if you could make psychologists or doctors or whoever aware of your problems now, then it might save you a lot of time later. I waited nearly 18 months to get HRT from start to finish, but, again, I dunno what it's like in Sweden.

>>8202017

things feeling hopeless, and things actually being hopeless are 2 different things... besides they aren't you have a workable option if you just wait for it

so they flirt but you think they don't like you?

sometimes talking to your teachers can give you more options with shit in school... depends on the teacher though, but there are teachers who will work with you if you want to be there and get through it...

it helps to learn to just do things regardless of motivation sometimes, helps those things become a habit and then you'll feel like your day is thrown off by a lack of exercise rather than it being thrown off by adding exercise in...

2 months is a while, has it been every day? are you discussing any of that with the counselor you're seeing? it might help... you don't have to tell them everything, but you could talk a little about shit like you feeling hopeless and it might help with your perspective

Sorry for the long blogpost, but I just really need confirmation on this one.
I've been friends with her sister for years, but we've only been talking regularly for around 10 months now. She is the sort of woman who does what she wants, and is very liberal when it comes to sex and her sexuality. So when I first met her last year (for what had been the first time since I had actually started HRT), we were flirting and making jokes and I thought nothing of it – because it’s something she’s comfortable with, and I assumed if it was serious she wouldn’t beat around the bush and just make an obvious move. I later learned from her sister that I was mistaken. She was actually interested in me and the next time we went out together a few months later we got drunk and we kissed. I didn’t go back with her because I was kinda trying to salvage a broken relationship at the time, but I later learned from her sister that she had wanted things to go further, so there was clearly a physical attraction.
Several months later, around July, we began to message one another on a fairly regular basis, but she had got a boyfriend at this point anyway. Things weren’t great with him, though – I gathered that he was a nice guy but he never wanted to spend enough time with her or make much of an effort and before the end of the year we were drunk and she showed interest again. After confiding to one of my friends about the aforementioned problems on a night out, she came over and was dancing very inappropriately as well as reminding me about the kiss we had had back in the spring. So, obviously she was drunk and wanted some form of reassurance because of the situation she was in, but what I took from the episode was that it was me she had chosen and so she clearly had some sort of interest in me still.

>>8202113
cont.

Shortly after the start of the year she broke up with him. I was cautious, but, to me, she was giving some pretty clear signals. For example, she started to engage in more physical contact with me. Whilst these gestures were not an unambiguous sign, the context and the frequency of such actions seemed to suggest feelings that were more than platonic to me. Resting her hand on my thigh, stroking my face, and even requesting that I kiss her on the cheek – for no apparent reason; we were just stood waiting, and kissing me back. And this wasn’t just once or twice: while it wasn’t happening all the time, it was still fairly often considering we were just meant to be friends, imo. Similarly, she’d make comments about me taking her on dates, asking if we’d get married, if I’d buy her flowers, etc. She had also begun telling me how much she loved me, and how close she felt to me, and how I was one of the people in her life she felt most comfortable around. She had even asked me to come and stay with her for long periods at a time.

To my mind, this was far too forward considering how long we had actually been in regular contact (not even a year) and I was convinced that she wanted more than just friendship, especially when you look at everything together. Maybe the odd thing alone isn’t indicative of feelings for me, but given everything that happened, surely I was right to think I had a chance? (If it isn’t obvious by now, when I told her I wanted to be with her, her answer was, ‘no, we’re friends’) Obviously, there are a few things that did raise doubts, but I knew she was attracted to me and she felt something emotionally, so was I right to feel a little led on here?

>>8201187
Only in the ass, thanks.

>>8202128

why do you feel led on?

>>8202134
tfw no ftm bf to take it in turns fugging each other in the butt : c

>>8202128

i'm asking cuz i don't see why doing any of that means you're more than friends... i mean idk... if i'm good friends with someone i'm fine with doing that kinda shit if they initiate it or whatever, but that doesn't mean relationship... and unless i say something about wanting that i don't want it

so if all of that happened between me and a chick i wouldn't even be thinking about a relationship, we'd be just be friends and idk even shit like fucking and spending a while together... idk... that can just be friend shit too

so i'd think nothing of it... if anything i think shit like that leads to relationships

Why live when I have small child-like hands, slender wrists and slim forearms?

>>8201934
dated a transgirl beforehand and that about her was the least of my worries

not bothered about passing as long as i find you hot and can see the femininity in you

hard mode: must not be crazy

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This is pretty much everything I hate about myself looks wise - what about you guys?

>>8202335
what's the scars from?

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>>8202335

>>8202480
top surgery

>>8202526
what are your good sides?

>>8202176
>>8202213
Thanks for the perspective.
Personally, I don't think it's how two friends behave. I have no problem with the spending time with her, or even the comments about how close we are - in isolation they're fine. What is weird the combination of all these things.

Why make comments about me taking you out and stuff - the term 'date' specifically applies to something that's going somewhere, even if it doesn't become a relationship. If you want to do something as friends, you use the term 'hang out'. The touching too is also something that I wouldn't do with someone I was just friends with either.

Can I put it a different way: what do you think I was missing as a signal that DID want something more than just friendship?

>>8202572

>>8202572

>>8202572

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>>8201187
no fuck you and your shriveled up honkadonk penis

>>8201773
shut the fuck up you insufferable tumblrite

>>8201481
>why are so many trans men gay?
>why are so many trans men straight?
>why are so many trans man so faggy?
>why are so many trans men hyper masculine?

Every damn thread.