/mtfg/ male to female general

FIRST FOR ASH'S PENIS!
FIRST FOR ASH'S PENIS!
FIRST FOR ASH'S PENIS!

nim thread

>>7823107
no you'll cry

>>7823100
dubs confirm ash peen thread

March is going to be /hard work month/ for me.
I *need* to not be a dumb tranny and actually catch up and study for this course.

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This thread is boring ya pinheads


Enjoy ya transbian circlejerk living through anime ya nerds. Seek sunlight im out of this thread. Read a book find some friend have sex take a shower and get a clue ya dicksuggas...

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>tfw just want to keep driving north while listening to Modest Mouse music on a loop
Abstract feels

>>7823096
>Dead game edition
youre tellin me
i got to the highest competitive rank in tf2 but it doesn't matter because nobody plays it 8)

>>7823111
Why would I?

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>>7823119
>Seek sunlight

>>7823125
im ugly

your eyes will start waterin'

>>7823122
tfw 200 hours in battleborn
tfw mastered the hardest character in the game, who 9/10 of players die constantly with but who destroys when played right

>>7823128
but nim~
I'm sure you're a qt, and I don't mind if you're not quite there yet

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i feel like crying
my tummy isn't feeling well either

>>7823122
Solly.
Tf2 brings back so many good memories.
Best was being a pocket medic high as shit both knowing wassup both with mics just steamrolling the other team

>>7823135
aww grace

what's wrong friend

>>7823135
punch it until it feels better

you must beat it into submission

>>7823133
no i dont want it saved ;-;

>>7823127
Think you need to be in certain social circles to even have a chance with supermodels.
Maybe one day.
Let's go dancing in the streets of Hollywood high and drunk as shit

>>7823118
>Guy is a fireman ina dead end marriage, his job is to find old world books and paintings and burn them because they hurt peoples fefes he meets a manic pixie dream girl that helps wake him up to the reality of what's going on and then he becomes the one hunted
so I remembered it ok. My memory isn't shot as bad as it was. Two years ago I didn't remember I'd read it. I figured I had for grade school, but memory system fucked up.

>>7823135
*HUGS*
Here's some warm ginger tea for the tummy.

>>7823162
I worked with them. They both asked me out.

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I found this mask
>>7823167
>>7823139
Thanks..
And it's complicated nim
>>7823145
Gj you got me to laugh

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>>7823178
qt

>>7823180
girl on the left looks perfectly fine

>>7823178
hmm okei :/

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have a good night

Toasted English muffin slathered with butter & peanut butter.
NOM
NOM
NOM

>>7823178
No one cared who grace was until she put on the mask

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I really should stop laying around like a mope and thinking of things that hurt myself emotionally and get to folding laundry
>>7823183
Ty

>>7823196
It's Super Bug Grace.

>>7823199
I folded the laundry about the time a new thread started.

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>>7823200
Super bug? Like those unkillable viruses?

>>7823189
>>7823188
>paying for 4chan pass
why

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>>7823207
I want to cuddle grace

>>7823207
Antibiotic resistant bacteria...

i mardi gras'd so hard tonight yall ama

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>>7823215
I got this dw she's mine
>>7823212
There's better

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>>7823199
I have been summoned.

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>tfw maki will never fuck your throat until you black out

>>7823223
Point that thing somewhere else. You bring back the bad feels from when I lost three friends.

>>7823223
all hail the queen
hope you feel better senpai

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>>7823223
>>7823231

>>7823172
W e w
Who are you anon

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>>7823223
You need hugg

>>7823240
I don't say my name on 4chan.

i love you i think

>>7823236
pulp fiction felt like one of those movies that tries way too hard to be profound

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>>7823244
Look at this doggo
The party is kinda over, I helped clean :D

I just configured ntpd on this sculpture.

>>7823247
I've never watched it.

>>7823250
oh
well, it's interesting
worth a watch, but i think it's highly overrated

>>7823249
I ain't opening that image.

>>7823247
I like it but with all things Tarantino, I try not to take it seriously.

>>7823219
did you have sex

>>7823254
maybe I'll borrow it from a friend.

>>7823257
i mean some things like the part where the black guy quotes the bible were pretty great
but some of the shit like the ending are just "uh"
it's like they're saying "THINK ABOUT THIS" and you're holding up your hands like "yeah i thought about it and i'm done"

>>7823219
What did you all do?
It's been decades since I've been to a mardi gras party.

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good morning

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>>7823246
I love you, too.

>>7823264
Hey hope u have a good day
>>7823256
The dog is humping a rock

Im so glad I'm venting through text and not voice rn otherwise I'd be bawling
>>7823227
Oh, hey you. How are you tonight?
>>7823231
Sorry. You were just talking about me being a persistent bug so I thought I'd do that..
>>7823235
Thanks
>>7823236
Its a target I want to kill or destroy tho
>>7823242
Hugg

when u wish u had a sex drive and u dont have a sex drive

>>7823258
oh i fucked alright

>>7823263
hung out and partied at my friends house, then we went catch the endymion parade and did some parade goofs, then we partied more

>>7823246
who

>>7823269
Pgud, got to play warhammer tonight. I fucking love warhammer so much, I love showing off my Slaaneshi army.

What kind of gun is that? .38? Im Glad to see you carry but it looks like you need to take so e safety courses on how to handle it.

>>7823270
Iktf

>tfw forsee nothing but suffering in my future

>>7823267
meh...

>>7823269
*hugs* I was joking, seeing you had the mask on.
My sr year of hs I lost three friends to suicide. We'd all witnessed 4 of our friends get killed when a dump truck broadsided and ran over the car they were in. I'm over the loss of the 4, but not the suicides.

>>7823276
Sounds like fun!!!!

Captch question. is an arrow painted on the road a road sign?

>>7823265
report: possible Moap sighting

>>7823276
lucky
did you do drugs

>>7823277
idk some people are just really great

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>5 pills under the tongue. One is E.

>>7823291
just alcohol this time
(i waited till i got home just now to do drugs tho)

my brain is really broken
but if i fixed it i dont know what i'd do

>>7823294
damn

>>7823296
what are you using
I'll match if I have it

>>7823297
iktf

>>7823287
oh dear
im really sorry
really really sorry
>>7823281
its just a fake, dont worry

>>7823298
5 is all that fits. 4 are methylcobalamin.

>>7823296
No drugs are bad don't use them.
>>7823298
Stahp

>>7823303
Every time my opinion of you hits absolute 0
you find a way to be even worse
just fuck off
we partyin yo

>>7823301
your skin looks really nice lately

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One month went by fast

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Do any of you practice magick at all?


Lifes been good since becoming a chaos wizard lads

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>still have feelings for that straight guy i was crying about a couple weeks ago
>vent to him about some things, including the frustration of reciprocating
>he still does his best to help me calm down and walk me through some of my issues
Fuck I swear to god this is the most bittersweet friendship I've ever had
>>7823309
I'm good at photography, if I did it at another angle you'd see how bad it is still.
And I deliberately angled my photo for that very reason.
>>7823314
It never slows down once transition starts.

>>7823301
What made it much worse is I was hoping to get to know them all much better. I was new in their group, and was already well accepted. Well enough that I'd had group sex with a few of them. Nothing like intimacy to complicate things.

>>7823316
Grandpa was a faith healer. I seam to have inherited it.

>>7823318
that's fucking horrible im so sorry anon

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>>7823314

>>7823305
>partying
.
>
.
>
>
>alone.
....................
..............................
......................this guy..
Are you like that white guy from grand Torino yo?

>>7823320
It put a real damper on my life for a couple months. The rest of the group helped me get through it, and I helped them too. I also had help from other friends.

>>7823317
Hugg

>>7823322
I never thought I'd get to be free of Spartan totally

anybody want to ship me some alcohol so i can do vid related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG1NrQYXjLU

>>7823301
Oh well get a real one. Every one of us should carry self defense, were a targetted minority.

>>7823316
Im not allowed to talk about it.

>>7823331
Im really happy to see that you are

>>7823333
Who needs alcohol to dance with one's self. just put the tunes on and boogie to the beat.

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>>7823337
When I legally can, I will. Don't worry.

>>7823337
>mentally ill, suicidal women
>getting guns

>>7823340
nah but the alcohol helps me deal with crippling depression

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>>7823331
>I never thought I'd get to be free of Spartan totally
the first steps are the hardest but now you're on your way to being the cute girl in your heart

>>7823342
'tis why I don't own any, but a couple museum pieces.

>>7823346
i mean i'm still too afraid of death to do anything high-effort but putting a gun to your temple seems like a pretty easy thing to push through

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>>7823337
I feel like crying cause I'm so happy :-:

>>7823345
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VJBBUqr1wM

Straight ahead on the path we see before us

i wanna be normal
https://youtu.be/0vBpcSEdcRc

>tfw you're the protagonist of mtfg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdphvuyaV_I

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Are you guys often harassed by failed chasers and hons who've been ostracized from this place? Because it seems like there's a lot of low-energy trolling go on in these threads.

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>when your honorary big brother saves your relationship and helps you out of your bad mood
It takes a special kind of person for me to start calling them a family name, or that they're my best friend, but damn this dude works HARD for it. He never lets me down. Except that one time. But I need to get over that lol.
>>7823356
Yes

i can feel mania welling up inside of me but every time it comes it gets pushed back by sadness and doesn't last
maybe i'm not true bipolar and just borderline or something idk
i just need that energy back

>>7823356
this general is like half fucking chasers lmao
most of the quality posters end up going to one discord or another and leaving
at least that's what i'd assume with the number of ex-mtfg posters i've met

>>7823350
I am pretty happy for you
glad you're doing so well

>>7823356
like who

>>7823344
for me it just made it worse.

>>7823349
Yep... I've tried to suicide a couple time already, and was very close three years back.

>>7823376
i've never gotten wasted
i just light drink until i stop feeling depressed
so i guess tipsy?

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>>7823359
That would make sense. I would imagine a community like this would be full of neurotic, histrionic attention-seekers seeing as it's public, anonymous and impersonal. Anyone who ends up developing healthy relationships here probably doesn't want those relationships out in the open like this, exposed to and affected by the inane drama places like this naturally produce.

>>7823380
desu only reason i'm back is my bipolar or whatever moodswings caused me to isolate myself from all my discords again
just waiting to clear it and be comfortable rejoining i guess

>>7823379
if I'm a bit depressed, any alcohol makes it worse.

>>7823350
Glad to hear, makes me happy to see you happy!

>>7823341
Wait, youre underaged?

>>7823342
Shutup commie

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>>7823389
Can't own or carry a handgun until I'm 21.

>>7823369
ilu

>>7823380
Did I just get rekt

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>>7823389
Huggg <3

its really good to get this far

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301 days until christmas btw

I miss tank and EV

>>7823389
>wanting to give suicidal people guns

>>7823387
different effects for different people, i guess. i just get giggly and shit, it's real nice
i usually only drink when i'm at the breaking point though
>tfw not old enough to buy alcohol

>>7823342
>tranny
>guns
nothing good can come from this

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>>7823401

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>>7823383
To be clear, was this self-imposed isolation or ostracism? I can understand removing yourself from a group under the belief that things will likely turn sour, but sometimes you just gotta let things happen and learn from it. People adapt, even the crazy ones. Don't take this as advice, though; I don't assume to know your circumstances. I'm just throwing shit out there.

>>7823394
I apologize. I wasn't trying to insult this community and its member, and I certainly wasn't trying comment on transgirls as a group to any extent. The remarks were specifically in reference to anonymous online circlejerks.

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I think I know enough about MOSFETs now to select surface mount ones for a prototype PCB. Next is to select proper FET driver chips. Then I just need to save some money to have the circuit boards made.

>>7823400
I now only drink when with others. never alone.

>>7823390
Oh right, here you can own a handgun over 18, you just cant purchase it from a dealer. Or ammo. Till 21 ofc.

>>7823397
~ good for you, im happy to see how great your transitions gone. Hows passing going? If ive seen your pics, i didnt recognize them.

>>7823400
I had access to firearns during my suicidal period, nothing happened. Cept this one time when my brother got too drunk, but thats different.

UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH WHERE'S MY BF

>>7823404
mostly me getting jaded and angry at other people and angry at myself and acting bitchy as a result and not wanting to make other people put up with that
i also have a tendency to get in arguments, get annoyed and leave, and then feel too uncomfortable rejoining so i just don't

>>7823401
pretty much

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I wasn't here long /mtfg/ but I've enjoyed it for some reason.
Hope you all have fun in the future and that you get cuddles and hugs soon.

Time to go

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>>7823415
this anime boy will be ur bf
thank me l8r

>>7823418
you make it sound like this is goodbye forever

I almost shot myself a few days ago
I want to kill myself tonight
hi

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I've been reading a lot of Marxist theory lately, and I know I've been radicalized somewhat, but I'm beginning to think I may actually be unaware of the full extent. Is that weird? Maybe I'm just insecure about it today because I'm emotional...

>>7823418
Bye. Don't die.

>>7823418
if youre trying to kill yourself please try to talk about it first
>>7823422
youre too cute to die sorry

>>7823427
if you aren't sure, then yes. After about 3 years of studying i understood dialectics finally and it completely changes the way you look at the world

>>7823409
It's only been one month but to get repression fully dismantled has really freed me and I really like seeing what it's the mirror these days :)

>>7823390

>can't own
Wait, you can't own a handgun for open carry at least? Here in Washington, you can carry a handgun under 21 if you're open carrying, IIRC. You only need to be 21+ to conceal carry.

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>>7823416
What do you do when you leave? I mean, how do you keep yourself busy, how do you calm yourself down?

>>7823422
Well, why?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubvV498pyIM

>>7823435
Welcome to IL

>>7823432
Right? It's so fucking weird. Like, I'm still trudging through Capital, vol. 1, but I'm far enough that I'm starting to get the basic framework of Marx's criticisms, and then when I started reading stuff more in the critical theory realm, shit started getting real. Society of the Spectacle was pretty amazing, for such a short piece, and even Anti-Oedipus is starting to surprise me with some of its reach. I'm starting to feel like a full-blown commie.

I even tried to convince a libertarian I work with out of his libertarianism by explaining the basic premise of socialist economics and dialectical materialism.

>>7823436
i usually just play vidya or talk to other people or find new places to post
i dunno, these phases kinda come and go
i do a lot better in one on one than in groups

>>7823431
No
>>7823436
I hate myself
I hurt people
I keep getting hurt
Cutting doesnt feel like enough a lot of the time

>>7823427
>>7823441
Fuck me, I need to remember to turn my trip sin on.

>>7823447
stop hurting yourself
it only makes self-hate worse

>>7823441
you can go deeper. If you've read capital a few times you'll notice the work *itself* is dialectical. Meaning, you need a solid grasp of dialectics to even get the argument. He presents two different worlds which end up being two aspects of the same thing. And then you'll notice that there's dialectics in the writing itself. It's genius.
A few books i liked and recomend you read are from Olbert, i'll try to look them up. About dialectics and human nature. Also even though i'm not a maoist, i've always liked "On dialectics" and the chinese political economy textbook (I really enjoyed the introduction which is different than the political economy textbook from the USSR.
And yeah i figured it was you from the avatar.

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>>7823441
The trick is not to confuse the naive parameters Marx presents as an accurate assessment of reality. Marx only makes sense when read.

>>7823444
You never know whose dick to smash during an orgy, is what you're saying?

>>7823447
May I ask what you've done to hurt others?

>>7823427
I was just fascinated when a friend of mine explained to me communism isn't about forcing a revolution, but more of a prediction of where capitalism inevitably leads through the natural course of things. It's just going to take a long time and a lot of degradation to actually get there.

>>7823459
your friend is wrong, marxism is about both, because they are one and the same, dialectically speaking.

>>7823441
this is the book, it's good
http://marxandphilosophy.org.uk/reviewofbooks/reviews/2013/758

>>7823460
Capitalism inevitably leads to such a disparity between the workers and the rich that eventually the revolution happens on its own, because it had to. Not because some fuck decided he wanted to try it out now and then force it on people who were content with their system.

>>7823457
>You never know whose dick to smash during an orgy, is what you're saying?
w-what

>>7823455
I won't say I have the firmest grasp of the dialectical method (the finer mechanics of it, that is), but I did encounter it a lot in the continental philosophy that I read and still read, so Marx's form at the very least isn't unfamiliar to me. It's sort of why I think I'm enjoying Capital more than most folks I know who've read parts of it and considered it "too dense" or "not for beginners". Any recommendations are appreciated, though! :) I wanna go as far as I can down the rabbit hole.

>>7823457
Kinda depends on how you mean, senpai. He's criticized himself several times, and many authors after him have improved upon his initial ideas.

>>7823459
There are certainly people who try to preempt the revolution and want to force it, but you're right; the idea is that the internal contradictions of capitalism will force the hand of revolution by making the state of affairs in the world too unbearable. It's a very interesting idea, although I myself see revolution not as an immediate "boom", but rather something that can be implemented methodically and comprehensively. That's the approach I've been taking lately; be the change I want to see, that kind of shit.

>>7823460
Thank you!

I think I've given myself bdd. All the people in my real life are telling me im ctue and pass and i argued with everyone today that im a disgusting monster. I might have even strained my relationship with my bf over it. I guess i shouldn't take the shit you assholes say to me by heart.

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>>7823466
>i do a lot better in one on one than in groups

I was just teasing you.

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>>7823242

>>7823470
It happens. I ignore most negativity here and don't obsess about my looks because I know I'm attractive enough, bar none. I may not look exactly how I want to look, but that goal is unrealizable and people find me attractive as is, so I'm not losing too much sleep over it.

>>7823475
oh, right
tfw virgin shut in
might change in a few months if i'm lucky

>>7823478
I went off the deep end today but i realized ive never been misgenderd in girlmode

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>>7823479
Gonna meet up with someone special? ^^

>>7823461
revolution both does and doesn't happen on it's own. It's certainly not something that happens automatically. This view is naive and mechanistic and was stamped out both by reality and philosophy over a century ago.

Capitalism inherently contains a contradiction between the workers and the capitalists. Capitalists actively seek to maintain their rule politically, and capitalism has proven time and time again that without a conscious agent actively pushing for their overthrow, capital can maintain it's rule through large amount of capital destruction (i.e constant war) and shifting the worst degradation and exploitation to other places (mostly the third world, countries that are kept under strict military and financial control). Even so, how would a revolution happening "automatically" look like to you? Because even the french revolution had a theory behind it (liberalism), basically some fuck thinking he had good ideas.

>>7823469
just read anything you can find imo. I read manifesto for the first time 8 years ago and i read it again now through the lens of diamat and it's literally a different book. Read Lenin too, and Stalins book on the fundamentals of Marxism-Leninism is a great read.

>>7823398
Is drawfriend still around

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good morning c:

>>7823490
bad morning :c

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Memes aside:

>Who actually wants to be a mother here?

>>7823491
aww.. how come?
wanna talk about it?

>>7823492
not me, i'd rather have a life partner and a german shepperd

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>>7823490
Good morning there, cutie, how did you sleep sweety? any nice dream?

>>7823496
wau wau

>>7823481
There you go, senpai! That's usually a pretty good acid test. A lot of jealous folks here try to down play not being clocked in public, like people are just being nice to you out of pity, but the simple truth is that if it doesn't happen, people aren't noticing. Because I live in a busy ass city, and people want to start shit here all the time. I know I pass because nobody calls me out unless I tell them, and here, they would start shit if they could.

>>7823486
The Commie Manie definitely started my real dive into the stuff, as I'm sure it did for many lefties, but in all fairness, I was primed for it by the time I got around to it, given that I'd already nerded around on the internet researching this stuff before I read it.
A bookstore I like was selling a used copy of State and Rev for, like $50, and while I wanted it, I didn't want it that badly, so I'll just settle for the digital copy I have atm. As for Stalin, I'd never given reading him much thought given his historical reputation. I always wondered if he had anything worth reading, though.

>>7823492
Not yet, but I occasionally daydream about it, so that's probably not a good sign.

>>7823499
um yeah i slept well! bed felt pretty empty though ;_;
still, i dreamt about visiting my gf again next week so that's nice

thanks for asking!

>>7823484
there's a transgirl i know who'd like me to move in with her lol
which'd be fun, gotta get a bit more stable, i think, i dunno

>>7823506
whoops, anonposting elsewhere :^)

>>7823504
you should read fundamentals of Marxism-Leninism for sure. He's also written a book about the economy of the USSR in the 50s, which interesting as well but more historical then theoretical. I recomemd him.

Ohhh also read Gramsci!

S&R is VERY good, imo one of the 3 best books by Lenin along with Imperialism and WITBD. Understanding that the state was LITERALLY just a social relation between classes and not on it's own a structure was an eyeopener at the time.

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>>7823505
>bed felt pretty empty though ;_;
That's not nice, i always want someone to cuddle, at least just to hold hands while sleeping.
>i dreamt about visiting my gf
Cute, i'm happy for you c: take care of your gf and respect her, you have something most of people here crave.

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>>7823506
You're very young, aren't you? Meticulous preparation is admirable, but once you start seriously adulting and working to maintain a relationship and lifestyle you're largely responsible for you'll realize you couldn't have prepared enough. Don't let anxiety and doubt cancel this opportunity for you. You have a lot to learn and may find yourself surprised but your growth and what your capable of.

Heuristics is a hell of a drug.

fug
heck
oh buddy
just had sex with my ex by accident lol
why am i like this

>>7823522
hot

>>7823509
Gramsci seems like an interesting, if odd fellow. Culture was always a bizarre topic for me with regard to Marxism, because I always felt like culture is fluid anyway, so to make an attempt to control a static variety of it seems strange. I know the Marxist position is effectively the opposite, but it seems like a platitudinous opposition, since to keep culture in a state of fluidity, one merely has to be against the precepts of traditionalism. In short, I think we're already doing it? I dunno.

I'll admit that my sympathy for the state and even national boundaries is one of the tougher cookies to crack for me. It does stem from a passive enjoyment of the type of society where I live and the belief that the disruption of that balance would be horrible, but I don't think that I can't be convinced out of this position, and I was thinking that Lenin might have something to offer that would help me in that respect.

>>7823522
How?

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>>7823522
>by accident

>>7823521
i mean i don't have much to prepare for exactly, it's just that my irl situation is kinda fucked
>extreme anxiety, probably bipolar, but parents are alt-health and christian and meds are bad so i can't even see a fucking psych about it :-DDDD

she's offered to help but idk

>>7823526
culture is fluid, gramsci just describes how culture and reality influence each other. Base and Superstructure and all that. The secret is, ofcourse that they influence each other dialectically!
Marxism isn't sympathetic to the state, it just understands it as a different thing. The state is the oppression of one class by another, and the way to make classes dissapear is for the workers to opress and destroy the capitalist class *as a class*. It's a necesary evil in the long process of the revolution, like violence.

>>7823513
>That's not nice, i always want someone to cuddle, at least just to hold hands while sleeping.
Yes exactly. It just makes the whole thing feel way more comfy >.<

>Cute, i'm happy for you c: take care of your gf and respect her, you have something most people here crave.
Aw thank you so much! I will. I'll do whatever I can to support her and make her feel happy.
Thank you for the advice, anon. I really hope the ones who crave a partner here will find theirs some day soon.. That would be nice.

>>7823522
To put it politely you are a woman of loose morals and even looser body orifices.

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>>7823532
Although your parents are a bit silly, are they at least supportive in other ways?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cafe_Hon

The only place to eat

>>7823451
I dont know what else i can do
I need to be hurt sometimes

>>7823457
I hurt myself when im sad, and that makes other people mad, so they hurt me and then im sad because i made them hurt me
Im basically a useless neet right now, hurting my bf every day by adding to his stress
If I don't start work soon my family will be stuck with unpayable debts but I'm too anxious to even leave the house some days

I really should just be dead

Eating a frangipane again uwu

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>>7823536
Thanks for your words, that's something we need to work on, by default of relationships are cursed by what normies says, it's on us to prove them wrong, we're suppose to be more comprensive with each other.
>>7823548
post pic!!!!

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Yay~
6 months on hrt today! :/

And I still look like an ugly guy…

>>7823535
Hmm, Gramsci is someone I will certainly look into then. Your brief summary of his central (?) tenet is intriguing.

I know Marxism despises the state, but I mean to say that is a fault that I have, personally. I take security in the state and I think it has its uses, even in forwarding a socialist model. Thus, my primary motivation is to work toward that end, and hopefully by the time that would be well under way, I would have been convinced out of statism and could continue the project to full communism. That said, one way I do think the state should be manipulated and usurped is through workers' parties and mobilized union activity in government, so hopefully that's a step in the right direction. Like I said, I am looking to be convinced out of my defensiveness on this point if possible.

>>7823526
>>7823528
we've been making pasta together and drinking red wine all day and sat down to watch a tv show but sat too close together by habit and it was awkward for a second but then we started kissing each other and one thing led to another and then we were in her room and jeez louise
feel kinda shitty about it desu
I never feel good after sex with women
>>7823524
it was hot at the time but I knew i was gonna regret it but I didn't care

now things are gonna be awkward and we'll probably get back together and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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>>7823555
hey! don't be so tough with yourself, because i'm sure you've been feeling better since you made that decision.

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>>7823537
I'm worse
I'm a disgusting transbian hon

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>>7823546
You don't want to hurt the people whom you love and love you by... leaving them, but you feel like you're in a perpetual cycle of pain which time can only exacerbate, right? You would rather just end your suffering now and hope your loved ones will move on, like ripping off a band-aid. I can't really understand what that feels like, I guess. I wish I could tell you it'll be all right, but I can't pretend to be magically prescient.

You've been suicidal for a while, so what's kept you going so far? Is there anything you need right now that could help?

>>7823554
Wow, anon, you're totally right :o

And sorry it's already gone >n<

>tfw you try makeup again but you're fucking horrible and this eyeliner pencil thing kinda just melts so you can't really do anything besides apply a horrendous glob of black shit around your eyes
>tfw look even more manly than i did before
UGH

>>7823538
not really
my mom's supportive in that she's nice to me and tells me how i'm going to grow up into a great missionary every few days

>>7823560
I just hope the sex was hot.
>I never feel good after sex with women
Eh, sex with any gender is pretty decent as long as the partner isn't a weirdo. Why does it make you feel bad?

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>>7823563
Yeah I mean every little change is nice, but I feel like I'll never pass as a woman and if everyone still sees me as a man, it would be all useless.

>>7823571
lol it's ok! i've never been so late in these threads so i think it's the first time i see here, tell me, where are you from? :)

>>7823569
Im glad you understand

Sometimes it feels like everything is ok, but as soon as anything bad happens I always fall right back into this.

My boyfriend supports me even when i dont want support, and I can't try anything while he's with me.
When he's away, I try to sleep or drink or distract myself with anything I can.
Cutting helps.

>>7823576
it was really hot
prob the most passionate, frantic sex I've had in years.
we were both slick with sweat and completely out of breath by the end

I hate having sex with women because benis
I really hate using it and being in a """"masculine"""""" role
It gives me dysphoria like nothing else

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>>7823575
Do you think your parents, when you're out of the house living a lifestyle they probably don't entirely approve of, would help you out when needed, financially or otherwise? I know Mormons can be frightfully conservative and obstinate, but they probably don't want you on the streets.

Do you love them?

>>7823582
Why does cutting help? Never been able to understand that.

>>7823588
That does sound like a good time. Sounds like last week for me, honestly, lol. I'm glad you had a good time.

Hmm, that can be tough, for sure. I mean, I have the good fortune of feeling mostly apathetic about my gt, but I was wondering if you've ever considered conceptualizing it differently in your head. Like, for example, a lot of the time when I use mine, I tend to allow my sexual mannerisms to balance out the awkwardness of it. The easiest example is when I get blowjobs from my partners. They've both told me that it feels entirely different from blowing a dude because I seem to behave differently, I move or sound different, and my expressions are more starkly feminine. That's an easier, up front kind of example, but it goes for most other situations as well. I might be rambling a bit. But have you ever tried to sort of synthesize it in your mind like that?

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>>7823571
>>7823581
i go to sleep now :) i hope we can talk next time, take care of you and your gf, remember we all are a team.

nini

>>7823595
>help me out financially
we're poor as fuck desu
i dunno, my grandparents might be a bit helpful, they're upper class, but i'm out to them and they're not really doing anything to help me despite being 'supportive'

desu i hate them at this point
my stepdad for sure, my mom's nice enough i wish she wasn't so that i could resent her

Yo real tranny hours

>>7823581
Hehe cool! I actually changed trips a few times, you may know those a bit better (or not) I've also been known as Sish and Frangipane, but recently I've changed my trip to my girlname c: I'm from Belgium, and you?

>>7823599
Ahh I'm sorry for responding so late ;-;
Hope I can talk to you again soon. Good night anon and I will. Thank you for all the advice

would you fuck me?
I wouldn't fuck me
I wouldn't fuck me so hard.

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>>7823600
That's very sad. You're gonna destroy your mom if she finds out. I'm not going to tell you that your feelings are invalid and should reconsider them, but no matter how frustrating your parents may be, family bonds can be so valuable and important, even pragmatically. Once you're out of the house you might feel like you wanna cut ties with them and let the hate fester, but that could end up biting you in the ass when desperate.

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i feel like straightening my hair but that's useless if i don't go out today

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>>7823619
Sometimes it's nice to feel like you look good. It's one less thing to stress about.

>>7823618
yeah, i know, she'll be devastated. probably not tell her anything for a good while, at least until i pass
honestly i think i'd rather stay desperate than ever rely on them again
it's going to be preaching and crying and fucking awful if i have to talk to her

>>7823622
Hmmmmm
Yeah, you're right

>>7823605
fuckin lit up
we don't sleep

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>yardwork tomorrow
>staying up for writing i'm not doing
>have to wash dishes

>>7823631
go wash your dishes
write for 30 mins
go brush your teeth
go to bed

hello will I get a womb before I die. be honest.

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>>7823635
you win this round
bitch

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>>7823625
Hell yeah I am

>>7823623
>it's going to be preaching and crying and fucking awful if i have to talk to her

Of course it'll be shitty at first, but you gotta get over these hurdles to improve your relationship with her. Please trust me when I say you may one day very much regret leaving her confused, angry and hurt. She's your mother and you're her daughter. Don't abandon her just yet. I mean, you can leave the house and take charge of your own life, but don't shun someone who might need you.

>>7823631
Well get to it

>>7823640
she's the strictest kind of christian you can imagine
like, when i said i wanted to go to a psyche, her response was to come talk to me about how all my mental issues are caused by demonic influence, which i inherited from my father / grandmother because they visited a fortune teller once, and my only option is to talk to a pastor from the russian church they go to
not even exaggerating

>>7823636
maybe 30 years away
so I guess it depends on your age

>>7823628
>tfw slept but up at this ungodly hour for work

Tamara says im interesting
she doesnt realise how boring i really am >:]
*proceeds to do nothing for weeks on end besides shitpost and vidya*

>>7823647
what about age regression, will it happen in my lifetime?

>>7823651
are you me

>>7823654
yes and immortality
we will eventually get to be the first generation who gets to live forever

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>>7823646
>

>>7823642
She's delusional and crazy, which is why you should be eager to take responsibility for your own life asap. However, crazy people are still people, and they deserve some love too unless they're, like, murdering and raping ceaselessly or something.

Go do your chores!

>>7823655
Yes
I am you
We are one and the same
From a universal perspective every human is essentially in the same exact place and every person who has ever lived and ever will lives in basically the same exact time.

>>7823658
So.. womb is 30 years off, how long for cell anti-degeneration?

>>7823661
>womb is 30 years off
Looks like we have an optimist here

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>>7823660
wow why don't you go read some more textbooks you flippin nerd

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>>7823650
a new week is a day a way, wagie

>>7823661
thats a harder number to pin down, possibly 20-50 years
dont worry though
all the boomers will be long dead

>>7823664
well I think it will become common place for cis women in 10 or so years to get a stem cell womb
standard 20 years for the technique to be developed for a transwoman
we only have 18 more years to wait until stem cell vaginas then you wont ever have to dilate ever again!

>>7823665
I aint afraid of no ghosts

im not sure why thats what my gut response was
but thats what it was
interpret that how you will

>>7823650
Bitch ive already been at work for 5 hours

>>7823670
you know I'm really banking on the age regression tech. since I'd be able to go back and transition properly..

>>7823672
where do you work now? didn't you get the sack from your old job?

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>>7823667
My week ends after tomorrow lol

>>7823670
I don't actually think trans women will ever have wombs. Like, short of transitioning at age 8, none of us have hips that can birth a child. Then there's the fertility problem. It's not as "simple" as just slapping a womb in there and calling it a day

Stem cell vaginas are unlikely in a timeframe that actually matters to most of the people here, womb is just plain out of the question.

>>7823675
same
transition doesn't seem so bad when you have an eternity to get cured

>>7823595
I get an urge to hurt myself for whatever i did
Or just to express emotional hurt with physical hurt
Satisfying the urge gives me relief

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>>7823675
Get off your ass and get into medical science and technology or some shit. Don't sit idly by and wait for reality to change itself; go make this shit happen.

>>7823684
wouldn't it be better to get into some kinda business study and donate to people with actual science brains instead?

Nep and I just got spooked by the stickeykeys sound >~<

>>7823679
>I don't actually think trans women will ever have wombs. Like, short of transitioning at age 8, none of us have hips that can birth a child. Then there's the fertility problem. It's not as "simple" as just slapping a womb in there and calling it a day
while thats true theres no reason why we cant expect hip bone widening surgery eventually especially considering that cis women will be getting it for cosmetic reasons
also theres no reason why we couldn't get a cesarean
>Stem cell vaginas are unlikely in a timeframe that actually matters to most of the people here, womb is just plain out of the question.
I mean thats just not true
even if everyone here is in their 30s by the time stem cell implants are figured out for transwomen it will still be pretty awesome

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>>7823687
That takes a lot of brains too. Perhaps you can get into law and try lobbying for research.

>>7823682
There's nothing you can do to deserve the abuse you grant yourself.

Tamara is an exhibitionist
She wants everyone to know that she was a good girl today
And that she is my little pet bunny who does as shes told

>>7823650
4am here
gotta go golfing at 1pm
too jacked to sleep

>>7823672
look at this gunner
that's some graveyard shit

>>7823678
you have to write it all down b/c kayla stories change from week to week

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>>7823693
Does acknowledging this post help her out ..?

>>7823692
>That takes a lot of brains too
o... I'm not very smart :/

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>>7823691
>hip bone widening surgery
Christ almighty, who would undertake something this invasive? What surgeon would actually develop this? This shit ain't happening in our lifetime.
>In their 30s
Thats the thing
Expect closer to your 40s and 50s, my bet is on 50s.
There's a lot of talk here of future tech but I don't think most people here understand just how slow medical research actually is.

>>7823679
so do you get any days off at end of week?

>>7823692
I can't help feeling otherwise
Thanks anon

>>7823702
>Christ almighty, who would undertake something this invasive?
AI robot surgeons

>>7823705
My weekend is in the middle of the regular work week

>>7823708
No, I mean what sane woman would undertake something potentially life threatening and damaging to their longevity for cosmetic reasons? The hips are a pretty major important bone, fuck anything up and you'll be wheelchair bound for the rest of your life, or you'll fracture your pelvis at the age of 50

There's so many things that are wrong with the idea of this surgery, before you even get to the stage of applying it to trans women

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>>7823701
How do you know? You might just have little experience in being smart. What I mean is, being intelligent is a way of thinking. Look at Richard Feynman; he wasn't particularly gifted or some kind of savant. Feynman was simply passionate, determined, full of energy and curiosity, and trained himself to think scientifically. You can have a magnificent brain while still being limited by prejudice, ignorance and arrogance.

Of course, having a good brain helps too.

>>7823707
Since it's been a few hours, how are feeling now?

>>7823712
I assume that by the time technology is at the point where the surgery is feasible will be around the same time that all surgery is done by AI robot surgeons

>>7823700
Yes

>>7823717
Again, back to the issue of timeframe
I don't think most people here will be under the age of 50 by the time that happens

>>7823700
yes.

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>>7823712
>working on weekends

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>>7823718
I'm new to this and not sure what to say. What a... slut?

>>7823720
yeah but longevity will be cured in our lifetime

>>7823726
Lmao no it won't.

We don't even entirely understand what causes aging yet, we can't even begin to work on curing it

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>>7823730
>We don't even entirely understand what causes aging yet

>>7823732
It's more complex than just shortening telomeres

What do, I don't want to get srs so I (potentially) can have a biological child later, but seeing cis girls makes me want the surgery really bad. I know that I could just preserve my sperm, but I've read that the pregnancy rate for artificial insemination is also quite low.

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>>7823734
Freeze some cum.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F8HvKqnp5s

>>7823733
yes however it starts with getting telomeres to maintain their length for as long as possible

good night my darlings
i love all of you except for the ones i hate

>>7823750
good night!

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>>7823750
See you

>>7823742
We can already do that
It causes cancer

>>7823750
>tfw everyone hates me

>>7823762
short telomeres are what cause cancer tho

*lurks moar*

>>7823765
you're doing great, anon

>>7823764
Shortening them actually eventually causes programmed cell death, if everything else is working correctly. Shit can go wrong though.
Preventing them from shortening also causes cancer as it allows indefinite cell division. In fact that's one of the most important steps for cells to become malignant.

The body is complicated. Aging is complicated. We barely understand it, and we sure as shit aren't curing it in our lifetime.

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night /mtfg/

>>7823770
good night Sheen!

>>7823768
U-uwu

>>7823770
Nini!

What should I do?

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Can someone share the discord please

>>7823775
learn to make music
its super fun

>>7823777
But I'm super bad at music. I can't even read notes

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God I wish this was me

>>7823096
Liquid crystal was fun I liked it

>>7823779
You can learn to read music it's not that hard

>>7823786
wedding when

>>7823792
Hopefully in a few years

>>7823801
I hope so too

please kill me

>>7823835
got you lauren
put this noose over your head

>>7823838
I don't have one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PsLdeyAXI8

>>7823770
goodnight cutie

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I survived the night
And had really comfy sleep, ^^

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>>7823858
did you curl up and purr?

>>7823858
fembest friend
I'm still awake from yesterday

>>7823678
Same job but i was promoted to logistics with no raise, its bullshit because my job is wayyyy harder than anyone here

my ass just blew up

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>>7823860
I didn't purr but I do make a lot of growly and dinosaur noises when I'm comfy
And I do sleep curled in a little ball

>>7823865
BUT WHY
you should get some sleep ;~;

>>7823866
so you werent fired?

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>>7823870
>I didn't purr but I do make a lot of growly and dinosaur noises when I'm comfy
cutecutecute
>And I do sleep curled in a little ball
nwn

>>7823866
You're a tranny, and they are being shrewd. They know you are unlikely to find another job as easily as anyone else there. If anything, they should pay you less.

>>7823866
By here i meant where i work. I was stocking which is easy compared to this shit

>>7823870
I went on a mini golf date and took a nap after
so sleep schedule is super weird now
using lots of kratom, too
maybe that's keeping me up :o

my ass won't stop

visiting parents (can't do my own laundry because of dyspraxia / helping friend who has depression with some shit / seeing some old schoolfriends)

my dad felt up my tits this morning while calling me a man
fun times

>>7823895

Why was your father feeling up your tits? I feel like that's a pretty relevant question.