Trans Help General #135

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For an agorophobic suffering person what are the options I self med have been doing so for years I don't do regular bloodtests and kinda wing it I worry this has hampered my progress greatly. I literally cannot go outside my home with out having a panic attack no one seems to understand this and treats me as this flakey thing that won't commit to transitioning. I have a very hard time maintaining relationships or trust. Waiting in a doctor's office fills me with dread, talking to a therapist in a unfamiliar environment would terrify me further I was a victim of several sexual assaults and numerous fucked up abuse I won't even go into detail with basically lived as a prisoner to a chaser for two years. My question is what can I do transhelp I am so emotionally insecure and fucked up oh and I don't pass to add to the misery anyone else know this struggle.

hey i posted this >>7688099 in the agp-thread. thankful for all the advice I can get

From last thread:
>I've been 18 years old for a couple days and soon (March) I'll be on HRT (MtF), legally, with a really good (and thus/sadly pricey) endo. I'm a cornstalk; I don't mind. To say I'm lean would be an understatement. With all this in mind, how do I into hips? I don't care much about my chest, emphasis on "much" as I do care a little. Also, and lastly, any general tips? They would be greatly appreciated. Please, consider I live in Chile. Thanks in advance.

Is 75mg/week too little?
t. FTM

How to measure bust when you don't have any tits yet? Do you measure across your nipples or right under your armpit which is the widest part for me? Also if you measure across the nipples how can you be sure it's the correct measurement as height of nipple placement is different for everyone?

I feel like my dysphoria isnt "real" enough, like I'm a pretty chill person so it doesnt like, consume me but it does bother me a bit. like I'd much RATHER be a girl than a guy but I just, I dont know

What the fuck can I even do if my chest and shoulders are almost wide enough to be split between two normal women?
Is this just it for me?

>>7689475
Feeling 'real' dysphoria is a meme. Do you see girls as having it 'better'? Do you see yourself more comfortable as a girl? How about an effeminate male? These were the big ones for me. If you are trans, ignore the trutrans typology. It is libelous and trite and is trying to put people like myself down.

>>7689940
I'm not sure what you mean by better, but as for the other two, I'd definitely see myself more comfortable as a girl, and maybe as an effeminate male? like I'd rather go all the way but I feel like it wouldnt be the worst thing. I dunno.

>>7689979
>>7689979
I am similar to you it sounds, but repressed when I was younger a bit. I was the type who would play with whatever toys I had alone, pref. legos, rather than with others, but wasn't inherently bothered by being a boy, just indifferent. I played dress up with my sister, and one day I wore her tights and a skirt (age 6), heard my dad coming down the hall, and hid behind her bed. He then proceeded to laugh at me, and call for my mom to see. I wasn't laughing, I slid under the bed straight up embarrassed and wanting to die. That's the main memory of my childhood burned into my brain. I don't remember a huge amount else, painted my nails with my sister occasionally, did just whatever the fuck.

There are some feelings associated with being trans due to you having to pretend to be a complete person your entire life, rather than be yourself. For instance, I always knew I was different from everyone around me, I just didn't know how. I felt (still do) like I was completely in my head, and my body was going on autopilot to some degree.

>>7689979
>>7690498
Also, I got into anime for a long time because of Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl. Ever since then, I have wished a spaceship would hit me and I could transform into a female, but always knew I had a male body and it would never change, so kinda adapted. I feel like my life is a movie, and I'm just going through the motions watching it.

>>7689722
hip implants

>>7688983
yes
my current dose equals out to 80-85mg/week (though on a longer timeframe) and it's too low and i feel like shit
aim for 100mg/week and report back

>>7691352
I read that too much T could cause me opposite effects, especially if I'm not big/tall.

>>7691362
testosterone inherently aromatizes into estrogen, and taking very high amounts of it means more aromatizes. this is completely unrelated to your body size, there are 4'10" trans guys who need higher doses than 6'2" ones. but 100mg/week is in most guys a normal physiological male dose and will not result in transition-impeding levels of aromatase, and if you're really concerned aromatase inhibitors are cheap (they won't make your estrogen too low, and they're probably a good idea as is given t alone does *not* block estrogen production, just suppresses some of the effects)

How many trans people are there actually? I heard something about less 1 in 10.000 who actually get the surgery.

>>7691362
You have to be getting up into retardly high bodybuilding steroid doses for your body to start converting to estrogen.

>>7691371
I'm 5'5'' on a good day but I'm also /fit/. Did blood tests and I'm probably the healthiest person I know. No high cholesterol, no high values, nothing bad. Poster child for good health.

I'm not really concerned about it, but I read constrasting opinions so I was asking some advice since I'm doing it by myself.

>>7691373
I'm sure as hell not going up to 500mg like some guys I know. I'm also starting a var cycle next week.

>>7691385
being /fit/ means you should have a good grasp on both the fact that there are worse things than supraphysiological t doses and that the official t range endos try to keep trans guys in is too low
endos try to go for 400-500 trough t levels, which is pretty low even considering a lot of those guys go up to two weeks between doses
and you're taking a smaller than average dose, so keeping those two things in mind...

>>7691389
Truth be told I also wanted to save up a bit. I got 30 250mg/ml vials of cyp, 100mg would be 0,4ml/week. 0,2ml would go to waste each time.

>pretty depressed
>don't have enough energy to do anything
>spend all of my time in my room trying to forget that I was born male
>months before I can see a therapist for trans issues because waiting list

What am I supposed to do?

>>7691663
Self-med?

>>7691663
self med

>>7689722
Watch women's Olympic swimming. Those women have gigantic shoulders

How do I manage?
I've severely repressed any and all feeling and thoughts about wanting to be a female, I've got a girfriend of 5 years and these thoughts and feeling are coming back stronger and stronger, I'm in a bad place at the moment and these feeling are all that seem to be coming though the storm.

>>7691723
Did you talk to her?

>>7691729
Not about it, I'm quite to myself, I've opened up to someone before and it went bad, you can never tell how people will react.

>don't know how to come out
>absolutely scared of the transitioning period
>would definitely love the end result though if all went right
Not sure what to do. Is mentioning my trans feelings to my normal therapist a good idea? I was worried they might not know what to do about them.

>>7691372
the generous estimate is 0.6% of the population is trans.

>I heard something about less 1 in 10.000 who actually get the surgery.
no

>>7691747
if he's a good therapist he'll tell you he doesn't have enough knowledge on the subject and will refer you for your gender problems to a gender therapist.

>>7691878
>the generous estimate is 0.6% of the population is trans
You idiots really believe this? 6 in 1000 is waaaaaaay too much. This is perhaps the percentage of gay people.

>>7691372
less than 1 in 10000 is correct

>>7692974
>This is perhaps the percentage of gay people.
wut

>>7691372
it's around 30% of transpeople who have done surgery but this number is a bit skewed because it was thought that you must want to have SRS inorder to be trans until lately.

>>7691878
>>7692974
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/01/health/transgender-population.html?_r=0
0.6% seems pretty accurate, it's probably gonna be a bit higher if the current trend continues though since teenage girls(biologically) are flooding the clinics.

>>7693051
>gonna be a bit higher if the current trend continues though since teenage girls(biologically) are flooding the clinics
Isn't your sentence proving that this is all just some attention whoring trend?

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>>7693113
>>7693051
>nytimes

I wonder who is behind pushing this agenda so much...

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>>7693022
>99,9999% of all people are gay
Oy vey, you tell them, goyim. Getting children is degenerate but fucking underage boys is living tolerance.

DIVERSITY IS STRENGTH!

>>7688338
No one can help?

>>7693113
Yes, 90% of the people at underage clinic are females unsurprisingly the regret rate for FTMs is a lot higher, i'm gonna get hated by early-transitioners but i don't think that medical transition should happen before age of majority.
>inb4 bitter hon detected

>>7693274
You have to do the decisions yourself, going to the doctor is gonna be a good start.

>>7693301
I've been to a doctor it's how I got diagnosed as agorophobic what I'm specifically asking about is therapist that work over Skype or FaceTime. And if there are mail in options for blood tests. If I could go outside with out having a complete break down I would anon I find it amazing how people think that agorophobics are just lazy fuck dude my heart races, I get sweaty and I start hyperventilating if I'm even 20 feet from my home it's not a choice if I could I would :/

>>7693450
You've been diagnosed as agorophobic which means you can get benzos

what do I do if I dont have the money to transition? I feel like I'm going crazy

>>7693478
>Taking benzos

I don't want to fuck my life up anymore lol I had a crazy opoid addiction and was an alcoholic for 5 years I might take cbd oil for my anxiety but really it easier to just not go anywhere. I'll probably just keep self medding cause really I doubt I could ever get the courage to go legitimate.

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From this image does it look like I have slight gyno, or am I imagining it?

>>7696080
You look incredibly flat, I would never think gyno if you didn't say anything

>>7696080
You guys who got gyno have breasts like me, and I'm not even on T or got surgery.

>>7695795
have you tried antidepressants?

>>7688276
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PULL MY LARYNX BACKWARDS WHAT KIND OF WITCHERY IS THIS

I'm straight, how can I low key dress like a women or incorporate it into my normal attire?

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>>7688276
>tfw no estrogen
>tfw I can't drive
>tfw Im in closet
>tfw I can't get prescription for estrogen
>tfw I could never explain how I just randomly got boobs

>>7697199
For years I tried paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft none worked. I got put on them at 8 years old after I tried to hang myself in the school gym. They've never worked hell paxil made me hallucinate. I don't trust meds or doctors at this point since I'm seeing pharmaceutical companies reusing one pill to treat another illness and it's just a giant bussiness to bank roll people's suffering.

>>7697327
^ this

>>7697426
idk talking therapy helped a lot
my anxiety was driving me to suicide so doc first put me on prozac and it did shit all other than give me diarrhea
then he switched it to lexapro and now i'm doing great
my social anxiety is almost gone
i feel happier
other than the times i have to look in the mirror and wonder whether i'm god's depraved joke

>>7697374
just wear panties lol

>>7697374
painted nails
feminine jewellery
unisex tops
women's skinny jeans
earrings

Lads, I'm gonna need a walkthrough for my first shot. I'm starting next week, practiced a bit with syringes and shit, don't wanna be that one retard who dies because of air bubbles or hitting a vein.

>>7703438
Neither will actually kill you with intramuscular injections.

Air bubbles aren't really that a big deal since you aren't injecting into a vein, it's just good practice to get them out and makes injections less painful. With the needle still in the vial, flick the needle lightly to make them float to the top and push plunger very slightly to get the air back into the vial.

To avoid hitting a vein, after you stick the needle in yourself, pull back on the plunger and make sure blood doesn't come into the syringe. If it does, take the needle out and try again. If no blood, inject.

>>7697448
Just practice. I spent about a week, an hour a day, just lying in bed with my hand on my throat and face feeling how muscles contracted and the voice box moved if I just tried to do random things in that region of the body. Isolation of muscles you don't know exist is impossible from the first try. It took me that week to figure out how to lift it at all. My advice to you, learn to self induce vomiting. When I first didn't really know what I was doing the only way I could describe the feeling was that the place you want to go is like 60% of the way to vomiting but you veer off and just sit on a plateau instead of going all the way. I didn't anticipate this or try it but in my random search almost gagging a few times made it clear.

>tfw best friend is about to be homeless once again after being abruptly terminated from a temporary housing program
>broke af
>1 day to vacate

>>7688549
hrt will change how your fat naturally distributes, so lose the fat you have now, be on hrt for a while, do squats and put on weight, and it should go to hips and butt rather than waist like it does now.

>>7693301
nah you're totally right about the mtf regret thing, the best thing you can do is wait for puberty to end, which is what i did. no matter what you end up identifying as going from skin and bone flat chested to having two huge lumps of flesh is gonna be uncomfortable for everyone. thats what usually gets confused for gender dysphoria and ends up fucking up peoples lives.

Does HRT affect neck fat?

any poorfags here can't afford electrolysis? how do you deal with body hair? I can save up for a cheap IPL, but I'm not sure if IPL is permanent?

I was shaving with a razor all over every day, but it gets dull so quickly + i get ingrown hairs + red spots.. I saved up for an epilator and epilated everything from the eyebrows down (and it hurt like a bitch), but i still can't get that smooth hairless skin. Especially around my groin, the skin is bumpy with black spots....

How do you masturbate? I haven't been able to orgasm since transitioning. It was easy as a testosterone-filled male but it's harder now.

>>7703557
>>7703438
I've gotten a bunch of air bubbles injected directly into my veins. Apparently it doesn't matter as long as there aren't any big pockets of air.

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>>7704620
it only matters if the air bubbles all collect in your heart and form one big air bubble which then prevents your heart from pumping blood.
this is called "cavitation".

>>7704620
>>7704641
Insightful, thanks. I'm not even afraid of needles or anything, I just don't know shit on how to give myself an injection.

I've been thinking about it a lot, but is it so weird or uncommon to just want a genital nullification?
Like I don't really want to have a penis, but at the same time having a frankengina doesn't sounds nice to me either for different reasons.
I'm pretty content with anal and having a weird dry hole that would require constant dilation for the rest of my life, adding the prostate relocation to that, that would take pleasure from anal sex, seems more bad than good honestly.
And just having a non-cavity SRS sounds kinda useless in this regard, it's still going to look weird in the end. And don't get me wrong, sure some people are ok with this, but only having a franken-clit seems more like having a small useless penis anyway.
Just removing everything down there seems like an ideal solution, at this point at least.
Does that really sounds that crazy?

>>7704862
If you were identifying as neutrosis I would at least understand where you're coming from even if I disagreed. But it sounds like you're MtF and from that perspective I can't imagine how srs wouldn't be more preferable to removing your genitals entirely. Even an imperfect result should be better than literally nothing. A homeless man wouldn't turn down a shed because it isn't a mansion.

But then again, there are plenty of trannies here who decide to stay as their birth sex because transition isn't literally perfect.

will hrt cure depression

i could tolerate being sad but the apathy is really killing me when I have nothing I enjoy and just sit around for hours at a time doing nothing or sleeping because I can't get any enjoyment form doing anything

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>>7704862
do you see yourself in a relationship in the future?
if so, then you need to think about what your partner is going to want you to have.
if you want a gay man or a chaser then you're going to want to keep your junk.
if you want a straight man then you're going to need a vagina.
most people are not going to want to be with a person who has no genitals.
At least that is my best guess.

If you see yourself alone or with another person who also has nothing down there, then maybe it makes sense to remove it and not replace it.

>>7704521
I didn't know anybody did electrolysis on all of their body hair. That would take forever and be insanely expensive. Just get it waxed.

>>7704899
Well, I mean, it's not like I just get to reborn as a girl anew. The constructed vagina is it's own thing, despite maybe looking like a real one from the surface, with it's own specifics. And if I'd go for it, I'd already have all the baggage of preferences and experiences with my body. Like being a bottom in sexual life, like anal and stuff, and not really wanting to do stuff with my genitals.
I was going from the same place where I though I would probably just keep my dick in the end, but lately I've been really considering this option since it seem to me like the final solution, so to speak.

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>>7704933
Testosterone will cure depression.
Female hormones might make it worse.
Citalopram worked for my depression.
>inb4 "beware the pharmaceutical jew"

>>7704964
I'm not gonna take kike pellets and I doubt testosterone will make me feel better since it's the reason I feel so bad

>>7704862
I've thought about the same thing, getting no cavity srs. I'd honestly prefer it only if I 100% knew my future partner would be okay with it, I'm asexual as it is but still feel dysphoric about having my penis around while having the same aversion to dialiting for the rest of my life.

>>7704942
Yeah, this is probably one of my main concerns.
I mean if it was that easy as today I go snip my dick off and tomorrow I go fuck dudes right and left, maybe I wasn't making this post to begin with.
And meh, from what I've heard there are still plenty of normal dudes who would date a trans with a dick. Without genitals at all though, that would probably require some serious work.

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>>7704969
>"i refuse to help myself, because jews"
well then be a moody bitch

>>7704971
>I'd honestly prefer it only if I 100% knew my future partner would be okay with it
My best bet would be on people who are either into trans girls with dicks or into cis girls who are really into anal, and so not really caring what's behing their legs too much, or like maybe even someone who would just finds it kinky. But I'm not so sure if it's the good bet though.

>>7704933
hrt might not cure depression but it would be a good step in the right direction.

Anyone have links to the SRS galleries on imgur? or more SRS results in general. I remember the imgur galleries, but I can't seem to find them...

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>>7705350
>fapping to open-heart surgery

get help please

>>7705350
Brassard: http://imgur.com/a/MzE9H
Chett: http://imgur.com/a/sBOy5
Bowers: http://imgur.com/a/Fjwez
McGinn: http://imgur.com/a/hGn9b
Meltzer: http://imgur.com/a/amU9m
Suporn: http://imgur.com/a/ysEaR
Thesexchange.com horror samples: http://imgur.com/a/qnqlO
Misc: http://imgur.com/a/IS3Cw

>>7705369
Thanks!

How come every day when I wake up I have small boobs, then they slowly shrink to nothing as the day goes on? It's weirding me the hell out and I can't find any information on it. It's not just my imagination, because at night they're clearly 100% flat. I'm 4 months on HRT and last I tested my T and E levels were fine

>>7705369
There are people who watch these and think they are the final result when in reality they are just a few days post-op.

>>7705458
>they are just a few days post-op

How do you know?

>>7705474
surgeons never take pictures after a few months or years. Most pictures you will find on the internet are only very short after srs. That and people who have had it done don't really go flaunting their 1 year post srs vagina on the web.

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>>7705451
maybe they are leaking.
are your ankles swollen at night?

>>7705516
How would that even work lol
And no, they're not

>>7689475
That was me for the first 4 months I noticed my dysphoria. It'll get worse, trust me. Just transition. You won't regret it

>>7705037
anti depressants are literally a meme


I know a guy on such a high dose of them (got prescribed when he was a teen , parents forced him) that he can't stop taking them because when he tries he gets headshocks/minor seizurres

real safe am i right

>>7705666
>begging others to join them in their misery

hon, please

>>7705806
The presence of withdrawal symptoms or other bad side effects don't mean a drug doesn't work.

>>7705833
yeah except I've literally never heard anything good about anti-depressants

everything is just "it makes me feel like an emotionless zombie but i function" which is an upgrade doing nothing but is not okay

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>>7705843
some people would rather be an emotionless zombie than a constantly jumping off bridges and slashing their wrists zombie.
they worked for me short term and then i gradually weaned myself off of them.
now i can maintain a somewhat stable mental state with daily mediation and having hobbies and supportive friends and family.
don't look at anti-depressants as a long term solution.
look at them as a temporary fix to help you get to a better place.
>inb4 blah blah but blah blah blah

i know.
i've been on them.
it takes a while to find the right dosage and they don't work overnight and you can't immediately stop taking them.
but that doesn't mean that they haven't helped millions of people.
try daily meditation, positive self talk and physical exercise.
maybe you don't need the interim step of medication.
be aware also that alcohol is a depressive and can make things worse so if you drink, stop.
marijuana helps many but it can also trigger psychosis in a small percentage of people who are predisposed genetically to the condition.

>>7705941
Huh, alcohol usually helps me when I feel like shit

Does tucking the penis actually lengthen it?

>>7708595
no, why would it?

>>7708617
The penis is constantly stretched in a flacid state.
Trying to hide a buldge, but somehow its making it longer.
Its a concern and a curiosity.

>>7708595
the only thing tucking has caused is urinal burning lol

>>7705474
There are still blood and stitches on some of those pictures.

>>7689475
I've been debating whether or not I'm trans for almost two years now, and for the first year or so it just built up and up until I was holding a loaded gun to my head every night just wishing I could pull the trigger.
I guess I just kinda broke and went back into repressing it for a while, but the last few months I've kinda settled into this sort of feeling.
Like, either what dysphoria I have ins't bad enough to *really* be trans, and that it'd be easier to deal with the dysphoria than to try transitioning.
Sometimes it goes back towards repressing though and I feel like I'm just trying to convince myself I'm trans as a way to explain why I've been miserable literally as long as I can remember.

I've got the number of a supposedly very good mental health clinic that specializes in gender issues but for whatever reason I feel like I don't deserve to go see someone there, or like I'd be wasting their time or something.

Help.

>>7705843
I've used antidepressants for a few months at a time when my depression gets bad enough that I stop being able to function, or I start feeling like suicide is a good idea.
The idea of being on pills my entire life and owing all my happiness (if I ever find some lol) to the pills fucking terrifies me.
It's better to think of it not as taking a medication to manage an incurable condition, but more like antibiotics; you take them until you're in a good enough place to handle things on your own.

>>7708829
Two years is too much to think about this. See a therapist.

My T vials are here, finally.

Now my problem is, it's little 1ml/250mg glass vials. How do I deal with them? I can't inject all that shit at once.

>>7709113
You're not supposed to. A standard dosage is 200 mg/ml biweekly.

>>7709133
I know. But how can I store the remamining stuff? It's goddamn unpractical glass vials.

>>7709136
>remaining stuff
Can't properly write, splints on my fingers. Googled a bit and can't find anything useful.

Is sugar waxing less painful than epilating? Latter was supposed to get less painful after few times, but for me it's still a very painful affair taking multiple hours just for legs.

Is there anything that can kill your male sex drive in a single dose?

>>7709151
orchi.

>>7709151
A pair of very sharp scissors

>>7709172
Or a sledge hammer

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>>7709133
>>7709136
>>7709140
To make you understand better, it's like pic related.

Every vial is 1ml/250mg, of course I don't have to draw all of the stuff, but how in the fuck can I store the rest?

how do I know what are skittle boobs or moobs?

In HS currently and i was wonderin how i can look feminine (Short, very stocky, gut, hairy) i feel disgusting like this. Hormones aren't an option rn (mabye in the future). Sorry if this isnt where to post it.

>>7709363
Actual breasts will have a hard lump behind them. If you feel nothing but squish, its just gyno.

>>7709375
gyno has breast tissue, thats why you need surgery to get rid of
moobs on the other hand is just squish

>>7709259
Ask your doctor?

Im new to being trans and im kind of young. Are there any easy to get fast acting hormones?

>>7708624
yeah that's why non-ops are fucked for life
eventually their penis will be 16 inches and impossible to hide
srs4lyfe

>>7709375
I just feel ribs behind them
phew, I don't want tits

>>7709391
Can tuck it up your butt at this point.

>>7709386
yes

>do sexual favours on the interwebs
>get paid in bitcoin
>use bitcoin to buy hormones fro shady pharmacies
bobs your uncle

>>7709391
Yeah but eventually you would have the longest penis in the universe making them inadvertently feminine things.


>>7709386
Just give it a lot of thought before starting hormones you're not in a hurry if you're under 30.

>>7709386
tell your parents you colossal clod
if you can't do that, it's not going to end well

>>7709412
Ive already told them. But i dont have health insurance (and wont for a while) so thats why i was asking.

>>7709401
Not nearly good looking enough

Hey i just want to thank you guys! Ever since this board opened it was the biggest influence in my path through hrt and i finally got my first bloodwork and next week i start on AAs! Cant wait.

Also i got 440.9 t and 24.5 e what does that mean?

>>7709456
>>7709456
it means normal male range of testosterone and estradiol

>>7709380
No doctor. Thought I could transfer from the amp to a sterile vial with a needle and then use another to inject.

Thoughts?

>>7709485
Self-medding T is considerably more dangerous and illegal you should really just go to a doctor.

>>7709441
usually children are covered by their parents insurance, also why are you in a hurry to get hormones?

>>7709506
I'm not asking about the legality of it, only if anyone has ever done from amp to sterile vial.

>>7709513
also why are you in a hurry to get hormones?

>>7709407
>Just give it a lot of thought before starting hormones you're not in a hurry if you're under 30.

Are you serious? To prevent male puberty from happening (permanently making you more masculine), and maximise the amount of feminisation. Why would you not want to take them as soon as possible if you know you want them?

>>7709386
You can order HRT without a prescription from online pharmacies, but if your current problem is insurance not covering HRT then I'd think money would be a problem. I don't know what you can afford or what you'll be taking though.

Also, the fact that you said "fast-acting hormones" implies that you haven't researched this enough. You should speak to a therapist, and read/ask in the HRT general (>>7702719) about the drugs you'd be taking and what they do. As important as it is to get on HRT quickly if you're trans, it's also important to know what you're doing, and that it's what you really want/need.

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As someone whos 6months into hrt, its been going slower then i expected. very mild breast growth as of past month(was growing like crazy 3rd-4thmonth in) and my sex drives been up lately which is odd(cums also been kinda milky lately which worries me).I'm VERY lean and very tall >< so I don't imagine to have end results any larger then B maybe C cups but I'm looking for ways to somehow add more curves/boost my E levels. I've also read all the guides and use supplements like flaxseed and soy, my dosages being 6mg. estradiol+100mg spironolactone around noon everyday.

Thinking about asking the doc to up my spiro, also contemplated switching somehow to cypro unless theres any obvious reasons to not switch?(liver damage comes to mind, but spiro fucks kidneys I've heard)

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Guys, I need help. I have very big calves like pic related and it's killing me. Any kind of shoe and especially heels doesnt look good on me because I have these fuckhuge calves. Is there any way i can fix this other than surgery?

>>7709750
i made an educated guess that they were biologically female.

>>7711053
what's wrong with big calves?
no they are genetic.
love yourself.
surgery is never the answer to anything.

>>7711019
you should check your levels.

>>7711019
The cypro you take for hrt is well below the range where you get liver damage. If you aren't also a heavy drinker or you take a load of other meds you should be completely fine. Cypro is the superior anti-androgen, americans only take spiro because it's cheaper.

>>7713163
During my first bloodwork/checkup on my levels, doc was saying my E levels were as high as they could safely be. Was about the same time they took me from 50mg. Spiro to 100mg. Hopefully my next visit in March will lead to progress in my chemistry! Want them perky little titties NOW!

>>7713351
Do you know what sort of benefits cypro has over Spiro or dermals? I do drink maybe once a week but not hard. Wish I knew if it was possible for me to make that switch or that sort of request...my insurance covers most and I'm not sure what's exactly available. bleghh

Do you have to masturbate every day to avoid atrophy on all kinds of hormones? I've heard if you fap all the time in spiro your dick will stay normal, but stuff like bica is easier on it. Is bica still as good as an AA as spiro in areas other than not breaking your dick? And is it more expensive? If I'm on hormones, or have been castrated, will my dick go byebye if I don't use it for a few days in either scenario?

Do you need estrogen if you get castrated to not get bone disease? And does nuking your nuts stop MPB?

>>7713395
Can't help you with either part of your post, but I'm interested in hearing answers to the first part.
I'd like to save my dick when I start HRT. Not exactly happy I have it, but I'd rather have functional genitalia.

>>7713395
>>7713618
Bicalutamide preserving function and fertility is a meme, it's only true if you take it alone and not with an estrogen

>>7713359
>perky little titties
you only get disgusting tiny cone tits on hrt, don't get your hopes up

>>7714360
>you only get ugly
>you only
>you
Thanks for the input but not everyone has shitty Hon tits like you

The lab I'm going to has three different tests for testosterone

Free testosterone
Plasmatic testosterone
Bioavailable testosterone

Which one am I supposed to get?

Is it even possible to be permanently happy and without regret if I don't jump on the hrt bandwagon? I need some real talk, slap some sense into me. Preferably by both repressors and transitioners

Here's my stats:
>20
>some days I wish I had a womans body, don't necessarily care for the role (am AGP)
>other days I'm completely fine with being a boy (still don't wanna be a manly man though)
>I'm not a big guy, I suppose I could pass if I tried
>wished i was a girl now and again as a kid/teenager, considered hrt at 18
>sort of regret not doing it. I guess I wasn't ready back then. obviously split in two now as well
>wanna keep doing the STEM meme and get a job as an engineer, would it brake my progress a lot if I started hrt?
>depressed on and off. can go weeks being neutral or maybe even a bit happy, but then I get real down again.
>don't always think of transitioning during the down periods, but if I do I get sadder

Guess I could stay a man, but it would be extremely painful to wake up at 30/40 and still have the same thoughts as now. If I stay out of it I want to be sure I won't regret it.

>>7715956
Just fucking transition, even if it's not the ideal path for you, it seems like being a girl would make you happy and being a woman is a way better deal.

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>>7716539
or I could end up hating myself to the point where I drop dead.
If I can stay happy without transitioning, I would rather do that. However, both options look bleak desu.
Did anyone ever repress themselves to happiness? I suppose they wouldn't be here if they did anyway though.

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>>7715956
>extremely painful to wake up without tits

just get implants, that way you can always get them removed when you inevitably get tired of shaving your body.

>Apparently acted very non-binary as a child, didn't show much interest in anything very obviously gendered.
>Remember wanting to be a girl a lot as early as middle/high school, just never think too much about it because unaware being trans is even a thing.
>Drop out because depressed, become shut in, occasionally paint my nails when feeling particularly dysphoric, continue for several years like this.
>For the past several months thoughts of transitioning/general questioning of my gender have become very frequent, to the point where for the past several weeks I think about it several times a day.
>Scared of repercussions of transitioning or seeking therapy for this because completely dependent father who doesn't really get anything to do with stuff like this and gets violent when angry.

Just venting. Don't really have anyone I feel comfortable talking about this with and wanted to write some words about it.

>>7715956
Reposted in /repgen/ >>7716794

I need advice.
>want to transition
>live in very southern state
>most people in my area are not so lgbt friendly
>want to move but need a lot more money
>have a shitty job so cant save much
>feels like I can never save enough
>dysphoria is really getting to me so I drink a lot more now


What do?

How do I pass pre transition

>>7718091
laser
feminine clothing
long hair
female mannerisms
female voice
makeup

I only feel trans up until I masturbate, and then the desires turn into disgust and self-hatred and fear for five minutes.

The more I've crossdressed in private and practiced makeup, the less aroused I've become at wearing female clothing and the more I've felt a desire to remove my male genitalia because it's just in the way.

I have memories of being unhappy and wanting to be a girl and do "girly" things without being ostracized throughout my entire life, and it's only now that the memories become immense regret and disgust. Now it's too late, and I'm just a hairy perverted degenerate man.

I don't have any idea about who or what I am anymore, what I truly want, or what I should do. The fact that I have no direction or desire to keep going on as I am makes me wonder if I'm even trans or just plain depressed. I don't want to be a degenerate, I want to be attracted to females and make my family happy, I want to be accepted by my peers, I don't want to be alone.

The only relief I get is by abusing drugs/alcohol and crossdressing in public. It started out as a way to get sexual release, but now it's becoming less and less erotic and more stressful.


I'm really tired. Who or what am I? Why am I like this? Am I crazy? Why couldn't I just be normal?

>>7717369
Start HRT, continue on as normal, tell no one.

>>7688276
Hey, I've been struggling with this sort of thing for about 8 years now and I realized that it won't go away. However, I've researched stuff in my area, and I'm too far out from any gender therapy stuff to actually get anything done through that. I'm also poor, I don't make a lot of money. But I'm suffering like this. I'm reaching the age where it might start to have 0 effect (22 in a few months). What's worse is that I've been pretending to be a girl on the internet for a long time and I realized that I just can't keep lying to people like this. I just want to be able to live like a woman could, and I can't be content with a man's happiness. I know if I can't be closer to the image of "female" I'll just continue to be in the same position. I'll be lucky if I don't kill myself by 30 at this rate. I have no idea what to do and I feel completely helpless since there's nowhere for me to go. I know maybe there's not much of a chance here but I don't really have another option

Any tips passing as male pre t ? I pass very well but my stupid voice really gets to me :( Any tips in general are much appreciated.

T is about a year away

>>7718660
Do the vocal exercise King Kong Bing Bong Ding Dong to get a deeper, more male resonance. All trans guys should do this since T doesn't auto male your vocal patterns, memes aside.

Don't get a haircut with fake side burns, it'll just look like a pixie cut. But do err on the shaggier side of hairstyles rather than clean and close cut.

Shave your face. Women and children have peach fuzz. Even baby hair stubble is better. This is one of those things people don't always notice on a conscious level, plus you can rub your face.

Dress closer to your apparent age rather than your actual since passing as a prepubescent boy is essentially what you are.

NO BOWTIES

>>7705369
The pus is temporary, right?

>>7718760
Yeah, it's from healing.

>19, ftm
>pass pretty well besides being short (5"4)
>resting voice usually gives me away but thanks to musical training, with effort a baritone voice isnt hard
>everyone calls me by my chosen name save at work because i obviously dont want to risk my income or safety
>my boyfriend is gay and im seen as the more masculine in the relationship
>he says that if transition is too expensive or hard or if i just dont want to do it he wont care besides not wanting to have traditional sex
>says he will always love me for who i am regardless of what i choose, could never see me as a woman

I feel like I have it okay for being pre-anything, but I'm still heavily dysphoric and to a lesser extent still feel like I'm at least somewhat disappointing to my boyfriend. Seeing a therapist or getting on testosterone would be a huge hit to me moneywise though considering I am struggling to get on my feet regardless

What would be the realistic thing to do if money is an issue and I pass well as I am, but dysphoria is still a huge personal issue?

>>7718893
See if there are any informed consent clinics near you and try to get T anyway. They're not extremely cheap, but you can bypass the therapy costs that way.
If you don't have insurance or it doesn't cover it, see what local prices for T look like with goodrx coupons. They bring a month's worth of T down from like 60 dollars to 20 dollars for me, but they are highly based on area.
https://www.goodrx.com/testosterone-cypionate?drug-name=testosterone+cypionate&form=vial&dosage=1ml-of-200mg-ml&quantity=2&days_supply=&label_override=testosterone%20cypionate

>>7718920
Whoa, thanks dude! This is very helpful, I may just dig into my savings and make the leap.

>almost 20 years old
>fat as fuck
>don't want to get more masculine
>not supposed to HRT if you're fat


what do ?

>>7718692
thanks so much

>>7719337
Squatz and oatz

>>7719337
>not supposed to HRT if you're fat
never heard that

have you tried not being fat?

>>7717369
At least it's not Russia.

>>7719521
In the time it takes me to not be fat or be less fat I will be a lot more masculine than I am currently and I don't want that to happen


So I was wondering if I should take HRT now and try to be less fat or be less fat before I take HRT but I will masculinize more

Aside from what's in OP, any recommended reading for someone who's questioning? I want to feel informed so I don't rush but I can't get it out of my mind anymore...

>>7718494
they said pre transition

>>7719541
just get on hrt and lose weight
if you're a fat fuck your maintenance is probably 2800 regardless, and if you can't eat below that you should just kill yourself

>>7721222
The only definition of "transition" that makes sense in that context is "before surgery or HRT". If having a feminine presentation doesn't count as pre-transition then the only answer is to just be luckily feminine enough to pass without trying. Maybe laser is the exception but you can do that at any point and without outing yourself (except to the laser technician I guess) so it's appropriate enough.

>>7720297
Fuck reading, just get on that bica. Do a low dose, any progress you make can easily be reversed and you won't risk your fertility. At a higher dose (50g) for an extended time (years) you do risk your bone density but it's not really more than 10% a year. Also risk liver toxicity but not gonna matter at a low dose. TLDR bica 12.5g-25g monotherapy

Im going away for around 3 weeks and I don't think the pills will come within time as they seem comming late, i got around 18 esto left and maybe 30 or more spiro for 3 weeks.
How fucked am I? Im 3,5months in

>>7725860
split the pills

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I think I might be trans, this is the first time I've ever posted in one of these threads. I want to start dressing more androgynously, and I don't know how or where to start. I want to start wearing makeup too. As far as my gender goes, I don't really know what it is. I don't really feel like a male or a female, but I usually feel more masculine than feminine. I was assigned a male at birth, and my body isn't very feminine. I have broad shoulders and hair everywhere.

tbqh I'm really scared and don't know how to approach this topic. I live in a dorm at college, so I'd have to navigate around my hallmates to experiment with clothes and stuff. Idk if this is the place for this, but I feel pretty moderately depressed most of the time too.

Any advice or supportive words would help!

>>7728312
>assigned
tumblr tier

>>7728741
okay well what do you expect I obviously don't know what I'm doing

>>7728312
wear unisex tops and jeans.

>pretty sure I'm trans
>too scared to do anything
>depression is getting very bad and really want to kill myself

I'm at the end of my rope and I really don't know what to do

>>7733218
If you want to kill yourself now and haven't transitioned yet, I don't see how it'll get better if you do nothing.

Try talking to someone, or overcoming that fear to try transitioning as it may make you feel better about yourself and your body.

>>7733227
How do you talk about it without it being an absolute cringefest?


I don't even know anyone I could talk about it with and I don't think I could say the word "transgender" out loud.

I want to buy stuff online. Clothes and makeup and such. But, I live in a dorm so have to go pick up my mail at a desk. Does anybody know of an online retailer that sends things in discrete packages, without label or logos on the package? Like, Amazon is perfect but I can only pay for things wit PayPal.

>>7733252
When I came out to my parents it was the first time I'd ever said the word trans aloud. I know what you mean. It's a weird sounding word.

>>7736121
>I want to buy stuff online. Clothes and makeup and such. But, I live in a dorm so have to go pick up my mail at a desk. Does anybody know of an online retailer that sends things in discrete packages, without label or logos on the package? Like, Amazon is perfect but I can only pay for things wit PayPal.

most stores put pretty discreet packaging, at most they will have tape around the box with their logo.

>>7736212
Sure. But for example, Sephora has the logo right on the side of the box. I'm not going to order from anywhere unless I know for sure it's discrete.

>>7736311
Order your stuff from Amazon then?

how do I know if I'm trans or just a really feminine, deluded gay guy trying to be "straight"?

>>7736644
There is no difference besides which one you can make work for you. If you can cope as a feminine gay guy, then do so and save yourself the transition.

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>>7688276
So im pretty fat and my clothes with weird sometimes. I would normally just blame the clothes fitting weird as being caused by being fat but this goes sometimes from day to day. Other times its on a weekly basis.
Either my pants will feel too big on me or too small or my sports bra (Im mostly at work so I have to wear one to hide my boobs) will feel like its almost cutting off circulation or that its kinda loose. A couple of days ago I felt like everything i was wearing was just made out of giant sheets of sandpaper.
Is this just a thing that happens on hrt or should I be concerned?

>>7736719
I've been "okay" with myself but I don't know if it'll last, I'm really afraid of growing older and looking like an old guy, losing my wear, having to wear suits and stuff, I hate how hairy I am and my facial hair especially, but the whole process of transitioning seems scary and I'm afraid that it might not even fix anything

I just really wish I could magically become a pretty girl, but I know that I could never look like how I truly want so I almost feel like.. what's the point

>>7736834
Growing old is horrible transition or not. Have a relationship where you get to be as feminine as you want and see if that's enough to feel content and if your fears like that go away as a result.

>I just really wish I could magically become a pretty girl, but I know that I could never look like how I truly want so I almost feel like.. what's the point
iktf sister

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sorry not sure whether to post here or passgen
also sorry about potato quality but you get the idea
is my chin too big?
hon status guranteed?

>>7737322
Take one infront of a bathroom mirror without wearing a helmet / hat

>>7737322
you have a recent enough phone to not take such a shit picture.

I am 5-6 months on spiro only. I was at 50 mg, for the last 2-3 months I've been on 100 mg. I will hopefully start estrogen in two weeks.

The thing is my breast is growing for the last couple weeks. I mean it's starting to get visible so I can't go naked near my family. I thought spiro don't give bewbs. Does that mean I will have full bewbs with estrogen? Should I mention this to my GP?

can anything at all be done about narrow hips?

>>7737970
Surgery can move fat from other parts of your body to your hips, if you really want

>>7736350
I don't have a credit card and can only use PayPal. So, Amazon is a no-go. I know my situation seems kinda petty and irrational but I was just wondering if anybody knew any decent online stores that had:
1: Discrete brand-less packaging
2: PayPal payment available

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i can't transition from MTF until i graduate, and i was told this when i was 17, and it's making me really depressed. idk what to do

>>7738236
Self-med. Don't let them hold you back, starting as soon as you can is important

>>7738253
i've only got about 4 months to wait, but i'm not even sure if there's a clinic nearby, so i'm really at a loss for what i can do. i don't know proper doses very well, since everywhere i've seen has so many variations of doses

>>7738236
SELF MED NOW

BEFORE YOU FULLY TURN INTO A UGLY DISGUSTING HAIRY MAN DO IT NOW ANON DO IT

>>7738094
Ebay, Aliexpress... Or you know you could just go to the store yourself...

I had breast reduction surgery 2 weeks ago.
I am a c cup now but still feel like my boobs are so big and they make me cry more than ever because everyone want me to be happy with them but I'm not.
I don't want to transition I just want to be happy in my own body. Help.

>>7738499
It would be nice if i had a c cup...

Is it worth being a hon?

They seem kinda happy, but I guess not.

I can't really see myself continuing as I am now. I hate being this way. I don't want to live as a hon, but I don't want to die.

>>7738499
>I don't want to transition I just want to be happy in my own body.
That's what transition is for. "Transition" covers a lot of things; you don't have to do present yourself differently or even tell anybody what you're doing. Breast reduction in this context is a small amount of transitioning.

You should do what makes you happy. It might be awkward for other people but fuck them, if they don't want you to do something which is objectively causing no problems whatsoever but makes you feel better then they there's no reason to try to please them. People build impressions of how you should be and conflate the with who you really are, which makes it difficult for them when their expectations are challenged.

What do you want to change about your body, and what's holding you back, specifically?

>>7738552
Take HRT to make your body less bad, and don't present as female if you don't pass. Best of both worlds.

Being a hon is bad but it's better than being a known hon or being completely male, from my perspective at least.

>>7738623
Fuck idk but I went from an HH cup to a c cup and everyone is like "they're the perfect size!" "They're so small!" But all I see is these giant blobs on my chest and everything is horrible.

>>7738521
What cup are you now?

>>7738648
A flat chested girl.

>>7738652
Wish I could give you mine.

>>7738648
>>Fuck idk but I went from an HH cup to a c cup and everyone is like "they're the perfect size!" "They're so small!" But all I see is these giant blobs on my chest and everything is horrible.
It's only natural for people to assume that if you're female you'll want breasts. They basically are the "perfect size", but only assuming they're supposed to be there at all. It's unfortunate that you have to deal with them saying that, and that it's hard to tell people what you really want. Being MtF and being complimented on my masculine features all the time I empathise with you.

Do you want to be male or change any other features of your body, or is it just your breasts?

What is it that stops you from removing them entirely now? Why didn't you do that the first time?

>>7738648
>Do you want to be male or change any other features of your body, or is it just your breasts?

I want to be male but at the same time I hate my wide shoulders and just yesterday plucked out all of my moustache hair. Like I should have been male but since I'm not I'd just like to be happy with myself even if it's not very real. I'm also asexual which I think is just down to the fact that I don't have a dick. Because I'm kind of in to women but I don't really feel gay at the same time if that makes any sense, which is why I'm asexual as opposed to being a lesbian.
I've looked in to the surgery and hormones but they don't appeal to me because they aren't authentic.

>What is it that stops you from removing them entirely now? Why didn't you do that the first time?
Insurance/parents. I did manage to get about 2 cup sizes smaller than the doctor wanted to do initially by begging him on the day of surgery though.
I was worried I would just go from one extreme to the other if I had them removed completely as well.
I'm only 2 weeks post op as it is, in future I'll likely get a binder or just get them removed.

>>7738688
>>7738903
Oops

>>7738903
The hormones are entirely authentic. It's just testosterone, the same as is produced in the testicles. The only difference is that you have to inject it instead of naturally producing it. For genital surgery you're right though.

What makes you say you "should have been male"? That's different to "I'd feel more comfortable being male".

>I want to be male but at the same time I hate my wide shoulders and just yesterday plucked out all of my moustache hair.
Could you say why you hate these features? I know there's rarely a real explanation you can give, just that it feels wrong and makes you feel bad, but if there is something then it's relevant. Even if you do hate those male characteristics, it's about getting what you want overall; testosterone may give you facial hair and everything and make you feel worse but if it improves your body in every other way it might be more preferable.

>I'm also asexual which I think is just down to the fact that I don't have a dick.
That makes sense. Do you have sexual fantasies in which your body is more how you want it or are you not interested or comfortable enough for even that?

>Insurance/parents.
That sucks. Things like that shouldn't be an obstacle to fixing your body. It's good you were at least able to get more removed though.

>I was worried I would just go from one extreme to the other if I had them removed completely as well.
Do you think that worry has merit, or is it the kind of situation where you basically know what you want (which it what it looks like from what you've said here) but you're paranoid just in case?

>>7739024
It's also exactly the same thing a doctor would prescribe you if you were a cis dude with low T, and that's actually a lot more common than you would think.

>>7734463
Anybody?

>>7739024
I don't think I'd be more comfortable as a male, simply that I should have been one all along. I'm not, so changing that feels very fake to me (the surgery I just had was also inauthentic IMO but medically necessary). I want to be a woman but I don't feel like one because I don't think I am if that makes sense.

As a kid my parents used to call me their "son", jokingly, but I would be so proud because it validated my feelings. I was quite tomboyish and thought girls were icky and wimpy. I'm tired of being that little non-boy-but-kinda-boy, but I feel like I still am.

I'd just like to be happy with myself in my present state and I don't know if it's possible, I guess.

>>7688276
So getting girl brains as a guy or getting guy brains as a girl is a biological thing, right? It's like a chemical imbalance sort of thing, if I've heard right. Could someone explain that to me better so I can sound educated on it?

>>7742114
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/0744/e3f319c9c9eb27aeaf4a840bd7676fa4de2d.pdf

>>7742114
No, being trans psychological. People will tell you otherwise because it suits them to think to themselves that they don't have a choice in transition and to be able to say that to others.

There is no actual evidence for any biological cause for being trans.

>>7742480
Ofc. You have choice in transition but just not with being trans.

>>7742114
Here's an easy to read summary of all available research.

http://transcience-project.org/brain_sex.html

>>7742480
This is not true.

>>7742659
The line is I had to transition because I'm trans.

>>7742751
the thing about choice is that it does not imply the alternative was being a happy and functional member of your natal sex
for some people the choice is a choice in the same way a fox in a trap chooses to gnaw off its own leg
for others it's not quite that severe, but the alternative is a life far inferior to one where gender dysphoria is alleviated or gender euphoria is indulged

>>7742166
>>7742725
Research like this tends to be extremely pseudoscientific, with the authors assuming the result they want.

>>7742758
The issue is the lie that some people are inherently suited to be their assigned sex and others the opposite sex.

It is a lie that harms trans people, by denying them the information to properly consider their choice.

>>7742932
>>Research like this tends to be extremely pseudoscientific, with the authors assuming the result they want.
Why would the researchers have an agenda? You're like that person who thinks that vaccines cause autism because 1 paper out of 100 said so.

What is a woman?
I think im trans but the thing is that i dont see femininity or masculinity as any defining aspects of a gender at all so i consider it a bit hard to define what a gender is! Maybe its because ive grew up in a culture where women mostly were generally masculine.

>>7742966
A woman is someone with breasts and a vagina. It's that simple.

I feel like shit because someone in another thread thinks non-passing mtf's should kill themselves and i can never afford rhinoplasty, let alone ffs.

>>7742978
So being trans is the desire for the body to represent you better?

>>7742990
Basically.

"Being transgender" can describe someone who transitions to a gender different than their biological sex (female, male, other, etc). "Transgender" is an umbrella term. A transsexual is someone who experiences gender dysphoria and wishes to transition to the opposite gender (male or female) through hormone therapy, surgery, etc. Gender dysphoria can manifest in social, physical, or both aspects of a transsexual's life.

>>7742983
i think non-passing mtfs should be treated with sympathy and not kill themselves! so there!

>>7742114
>>7742725
In case you are kinda lazy and don't want to read the thing the TL;DR is
>MTF and FTM trans-ness are likely to have differing or different biological causes
>the difference between a transgender brain and the brain of a cis person can be seen in both pre HRT and post HRT people across a wide number of areas in the brain
>Results tend to sketchily imply thus far, that MTF brains are somewhere between male and female cis in sexually dimorphic areas and that FTM brains are likely within cis male ranges in sexually dimorphic areas
>There is no causation established here, they're just correlations. Obviously socialisation also can have an impact in brain development for some of these features

>>7742932
>10 peer reviewed studies in credible journals of medicine
>they include overlap in which they corroborate or are not afraid to contradict each other
>random schmuck on the internet
>not even trying to hide the fact that they have an agenda and don't accept a hist of very well established facts

>>7743255
>>There is no causation established here, they're just correlations. Obviously socialisation also can have an impact in brain development for some of these features
You admit this and don't realize how it demolishes your narrative?

>>not even trying to hide the fact that they have an agenda and don't accept a hist of very well established facts
Little hypocritical considering the above.

>>7742990
Transgender is a social group and has an arbitrary definition. People can only self identity themselves as transgender. It tends to include in whole every person experiencing the illness of gender dysphoria as well as parts of other minor groups of people with extremely gender non-conforming aesthetics or life-styles. It is increasingly less common transvestites, cross dressers, to be included. You might also hear of people who are post transition and no longer consider themselves trans.

>>7743261
There is no narrative. Science doesn't write narratives. And no, not all findings need to establish causation. And whether the resultant brain structure causes people to be trans or results from people being trans is somewhat irrelevant is it not?

You are disregarding most of all science even remotely relevant to this, not just these 10 most specific studies.

>>7743280
>Science doesn't write narratives.
Well, I would say this is not true. There is a lot of agenda and assumptions present in many fields of science. I mean this is just how it is if you look at it long enough, just how the whole system works, with fundings and shit.
Although I'm not that anon and I do not deny that some reason why people want to transition might as well be linked to the brain stucture. But blindly idealizing science without understanding that it's just regular people doing it with their own agendas and usually particular fundings is not the good way to go, even for science itself. Especially in the case of the simple corellation studies.

Ok, I've been interested about it for a while but hrt general seems to be gone now so I'll ask here.
What does determine the peak of the hormonal effect on fat distribution and boob/butt growth?
Is it only genetics?
Does it depends on the dosage?
Is there a way to know for sure if you peaked or go beyond that with a change of hormones or dosage?

How do I deal with a casually transphobic dad? He makes remarks about transgirls on tv saying "That's a man" and it hurts me.
I want to let him know but anything regarding my gender is the elephant in the room...
Also, how to deal with dysphoria when out and about, seeing women's clothes stores?

>>7745410
It's definitely a good idea to experiment with different methods of hormone therapy if you believe you're not getting the results you desire with your current regimen. I have a friend who was on the same HRT regimen for more than a year, and once she switched to different hormone medication noticed new breast growth etc.

>>7745810
Thanks, but I was more interested to like understanding how it works. It is probably not my short-term concern, but definetly would be nice to know in the future.
Like is it all just a genetic lottery, assuming right medications, on at what stage you will peak? I mean it's not like you are just going to grow your boobs for the rest of your life, for example.
And in case you felt like you reached the peak, would increasing the dosage take you further or it's going to do nothing good for you?

>>7745353
When you claim somebody is pushing an agenda and doing bad science them you have to prove that accusation. Randomly accusing any scientific finding of being agenda driven just because you don't agree with the findings is bullshit. It's exactly what climate change deniers have been doing for a decade.

i live in straya and really want to start HRT, but without my family knowing because i'll be disowned. i'm really panicking because i don't want to start too late and not pass, where do i start? :/

>>7747102
order online

>>7704933
No, in some ways mine is worse, but that may be due to cypro. It does make me feel more in touch with myself emotionally though, so I dunno.

>>7748190
where though?

>>7747102
Go to the doctor it's not public information if you're over 15.

Hi, I see there is no HRT Gen right now so I guess I'll just post this in here.

I've been on HRT for 4 weeks and I'd like to share my experiences/questions for others who may be questioning HRT to see.

Info about me:
23 y/o MTF
6'1
slightly overweight
I strongly believe I have Klinefelter's Syndrome (XXY) though not yet confirmed.

Daily dosage so far:
50m5 Cyproterone Acetate (Androcur)
2mg Estrdaiol (Estrofem)
1mg Finasteride (Finnpecia)

I get my meds online from InHouse because I am not yet fully out to my parents and do not have access to their insurance without them knowing about my medicine.

Changes:
I have had some breast growth already. I have suffered from severe gynecomastia for most of my life, though before now they were rather misshapen, cone shaped lumps. Now they are distinctly "breast shaped" (but still rather small) and I can feel actual, firm breast tissue inside. My nipples are already quite sensitive.

>>7749974
>I've been on HRT for 4 weeks and I'd like to share my experiences
you don't really have any experiences to share if you have only been on hrt for a month

I have a question about breast growth (mtf)

So I'm pre hrt and going to e starting soon, my mother and sister both have large breast witch I thought about as good, but I was reading that trans women don't fully develop breast and that is why most mtf trans people have smaller breast. Is this true?

>>7749974
Cont.

Erectile function has been affected. I no longer get reflex (morning wood) or spontaneous erections. I still get easily aroused however and can maintain an erection, though it is not quite as hard as it used to be. My semen is very weird, slimy, sort of tinted/opaque, but not yet clear. I can orgasm easily though not nearly as easily before.

I find myself to be much more emotionally available, I cry easier, my moodswings ( I have Borderline Personality Disorder) are more intense. I have always been bisexual but before this I did not really find boys "cute" or attractive other than for sex. Now I feel I rather like boys and could even see myself in a relationship with them, despite the fact I've always only ever dated women and currently am in a long term relationship with a woman.

I enjoy anal sex a lot more. However my sex drive has been slowly falling. I find that I enjoy kissing, fondling, nipple sucking, etc. much more appealing than actual sex/orgasm.

>>7750016
Obviously if you start growing your breasts like 10 years later than you should have they're not going to get as big. Also, the expanded masculine skeleton stretches them out and makes them appear smaller.

If you were to start at the beginning of puberty you'd have full-sized breasts just as if you'd been born female. You're taking the the same oestrogen cis women get.

>>7750018
Cont.
I have seen immediate changes to my hair growth at the front of my scalp. Previously I was already experiencing some MPB in this area but already it is starting to reverse. The changes are slow but I imagine they will continue.

Body hair has not really been affected unfortunately. My arm hairs are just beginning to grow back thinner and lighter after I shave.

I have noticed testicular shrinkage.

Questions I have:
Does weight have anything to do with my AA viability? I take only 50/mg a day which is mostly recommended on here and elsewhere, but I sometimes worry that my larger size may require a higher dose.

How soon can I expect more complete erectile failure? I hate getting erect, period.

What experiences has anyone had with hair loss reversal on HRT? I often feel nervous about my ability to grow out my hair. I've pretty much always had a high and tight since leaving highschool and I don't really know what my hair will look like grown out now.

>>7749986
my point in the above post was to provide some starting point reference to anyone questioning whether they should start. If i had this kind of first hand experience offered to me before I may not have agonized so long about whether I should.

So let me say this:
I absolutely say if you are questioning, you should start. I spent a long time debating whether or not it was worth it to do this, and even after only one month I am feeling happier and more confident about my body.

I strongly suggest you go legit of course, but if you can't then DIY works too.

I spent most of my life hating my body not only because I knew it was not female, but also because I felt I could not force myself to repress and fit into male body standards, since I always had flabby breasts, (even when I weighed under 170 pounds at 6'0) wide hips, and thick thighs. After self acceptance as being trans and beginning my HRT, I am much happier and expect only further positive changes from here on out.

My endo just told me to start hrt... with 2 mg e and 50 mg androcur,how low are those dosages?

>>7750089
That's an average starting dose.

>>7750089
50mg androcur is fine for starting, you can lower it later most likely
2mg E is a normal starting dosage, will be raised to 4mg soon

>>7748848
inhouse
alldaychemist

>>7688276
In regards to fat redistribution to the buttocks, is it better to just get a surgery for augmentation or will hrt redistribute substantial amounts of fat?

Thanks.

>>7750940
HRT will redistribute fat, but it takes a long time.

Surgery can give you a big ass right away, but it takes a lot of money (plus it won't even last more than a few years).

HRT is the smart move.

>>7750940
HRT is likely to do the trick, but not everyone is blessed with the good genetics. Its certainly possible you'd need surgery to get big butt if the fat doesn't get there after a few years

>>7750950
>plus it won't even last more than a few years
hold on out there, are you for real?
Where would it go, I though fat cells are there to stay, are they not?

>>7750966
I think they're saying that it would lose definition, but the fat cells would definitely still be there, for the purposes of balancing out your figure it would probably be fine.

give tips and supportive feedback. I only started a few days ago
http://vocaroo.com/i/s06ZGmj7fIxn

>>7750956
>>7750950

Thank you for the assistance. Both my mother, aunt, and grandmother have a large buttock and hips, so perhaps I'm not disadvantaged in that regard.

I do have another question regarding redistribution: How does it work? Would losing body weight be detrimental to the whole process? Is it better if I just maintain the same weight?

Thank you.

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>>7688276
Which "type" of laser hair removal should I inquire about for facial hair removal? Anything specific?

Can someone explain what a bunch of the lingo on this board means? Like "hon" and stuff? And what does it mean when people do that t. (something here) thing? I've never really talked much about being trans or did much research so this is all confusing to me.

>>7750670
>>7750708
>>7750760

Posted this in agpgen but I'm impatient so wondering if anyone here can help out.

I'm 25, 6'1, wide shoulders, huge chest, huge head, large chin, giant feet.

Should I just kill myself?

>>7751379
Humanities capabilities are expanding every single year. There might be hope for you, just hang in there!

Since /HRTGen/ isn't around right now
Is there any website to buy black market without bitcoin?

>>7751446
I know Inhouse takes e-check

Guys I think I fucked up really bad. I would post this to HRTgen, but there isn't one right now. I've been ordering hormones under an assumed name so that if somebody at my house found the package they wouldn't think it was for me. I ordered my second shipment from QHI like more than a month ago, and when nothing came, I asked them about it. They gave me the shipping reference number and told me it made it to the USPS warehouse about 2 weeks ago, and that's all they know. So I checked out the reference number and now I realize that it made it to my town and got "undelivered", and I'm pretty sure this is because of the fake name. The USPS website says at first it was "undeliverable as addressed" then "moved, left no address" and the royal mail website says that it was "undelivered incorrect address" and then "undelivered not at address, office closed", and that it went to the national return centre and is now in the UK. WHAT DO I DO??? I payed a lot of money for this and I'm really scared all my progress is about to get erased as I'm basically out of hormones. Is there any way to get them back????? Or at least get a refund :(

>>7751468
I'd message QHI about it, since it'll most likely get returned to them. They probably won't mind resending it as long as you pay for shipping again.

>>7751505
Wouldn't it just get returned again for the same reason though?

>>7751505
Also having read it thoroughly it sounds like they may have inquired whether the person with assumed name lived there, and since the answer was negative they gave up on delivering it.

So better ask QHI to resend it under your real name.

>>7751322
bump

>>7751298
Anything not labeled IPL. I believe the other lasers are called diode or alexandrite.

>>7753682
What's the problem with IPL? Everyone here seems to say it's awful but I can't find any information that corroborates that.

>>7754128
It's simply not strong enough for thick hairs and doesn't give permanent results from what i've heard.

>23 MtF
>8 months on HRT
>started getting hip pains occasionally during last few days
It should be too late for any growth, so can somebody what's happening?

>>7756585
tell me what's happening*

>>7756598
You probably have bad joints or something. Visit a doctor.

>>7756585
Is it real, actual pain? Or are they just slightly tingling/uncomfortable

>>7756616
Wouldn't that only hurt when something is moving?
>>7756622
I'd say it's a step above just discomfort; slight pain maybe?

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>20, male
>trans signs since earliest memories
>conscious repression since 16
>was already absolutely huge by then
>want to take HRT to ease my dysphoria
>can never ever feasibly pass
>don't want to be some weird unlovable in between sexes "chimera" thing
>not a communist hippie so I'm incompatible with the turbo liberals who don't care about that stuff
Help.

>>7756649
might also be that area fusing bones together. it might happen around that age.

>>7758132
>can never ever feasibly pass
you can malemode forever if you keep your beard. just take hrt and never socially transition.

>>7758878
>don't want to be some weird unlovable in between sexes "chimera" thing
This goes both ways, whether I socially transition or not.

>>7758988
you do realize you're only 20 right? hrt will still do enough at that age to have a more than reasonable chance to pass. And if not, put in effort (clothing, hair, makeup etc.) so you don't end up as a chimera.

My therapist asked me what would i do if i didn't get the diagnosis and i honestly don't know (i guess it depends on the reason.) So what are common reasons to get denied the diagnosis?(apart from the common depression, suicidal thoughts etc.) I think it might be a really common question they ask but it still seems kind of nerve-racking

>>7759765
>So what are common reasons to get denied the diagnosis?
Not lying enough.

2 questions:
1st:This is my 2nd day on 50 mg androcur,is it normal that I feel like my erections are dissappearing already?

2nd: does androcur just "stop" you from wqnting to do anything sexual?

>>7759869
Well i'm fucked then.

>>7759765
It just depends on the country,in mine,if you didnt have a classic dolls and girly childhood,you are not trans,if you dont shave your body,you are not trans, if you like videogames,you are not trans becausa thats "a boy thing"

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>>7759905
I live in Finland one of the more gatekeeping in Europe.

>if you like videogames,you are not trans becausa thats "a boy thing"
But that's simply not true though? i'd say atleast 30% of the 'hardcore gamers' are female, my therapist didn't think that my interest in technology and such wasn't particularly unfemale like either.

>>7759992
Lucky you then,here in Spain thats what I know happened to a few friends,so I kept that as a secret so that it wouldnt matter to my theraphist

Ps:I lived in Finland for some time,what a beautiful and interesting country you have :_)

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>>7759992
>i'd say atleast 30% of the 'hardcore gamers' are female,
You definition of hardcore is so plebeian I cannot even begin to describe my own.

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>>7761156
I enjoy mobile games, final fantasy and counter-strike, you can't even start to explain my plebeianism.

>>7759765
i told them i would keep self medding and seek diagnosis abroad

>>7761211
what mobile games are fun and aren't shitty ad-filled whatevers

>>7761513
I'll start self-medding too unless i get diagnosed with some else mental problem

>>7761909
Clash Royale and ZOOKEEPER are my favourites, Fire emblem heroes is really fun too if you like Fire emblem.

>>7761949
im sorry anon 2 casual


only mobile games I can enjoy are tower defense games and all the good ones cost money

next thread:

>>7762186
>>7762186
>>7762186