/ftmg/ - female to male general

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>>7600105
punch pillows, run, play competitive vidya. When I'm not in a good place mentally I've punched walls (stupid IK)

>>7600105
Can someone help me find test on the deep web to self med? I'm being gate kept and the only way currently is ordering online... anyone?

>>7600105
I never really deal with anger problems since I don't often get upset. One thing that drives me up a wall is when I'm planning on doing something, or am in the process of doing it, and someone tries to remind me of doing that thing-- or worse, accuses me of "not doing anything about it." I struggle with procrastination and a lack of motivation to do things, so it makes me happy when I take care of business of my own violition, and ticks me off when people accuse me of being a bump on a log when I'm actually performing.
Tbh when I'm upset with someone in that way, I usually disengage myself from the situation so that I can calmly explain it to them later. Otherwise, I don't really get mad at stuff.

>>7600128
r/steroidsourcetalk

i don't really get angry... and when i do i just do what i do with most feelings... i get shitfaced and distract myself 'til they go away

>>7600175

i can't even make plans... they make me anxious as fuck, i hate them even if they're something i want...

things that piss me off are shit like people standing near me while i'm washing dishes or moving something of mine slightly without letting me know before i see it... just cuz it fucks with my ocd and i have legit meltdowns sometimes, it's pathetic but yeah... i can't handle things like that

>>7597790
yes, though it's uncommon
deschamps-braly offers facial masculinization surgery
ftm communities usually cling to the idea that trans men are all super passable no matter what after a short time on t, but it's becoming clearer and clearer that isn't true so i expect fms to become more popular
>tfw girlforehead

>>7600105
I just get drunk a lot and vent in my basement by throwing beer bottles, singing aggressive songs, or crying. I'm not sure this is healthy

>>7600105
>anger management
This is a good point, most FTMS have wicked anger streaks

>>7600273
>using booze to compensate
They will only get worse that way lmao.

Enjoy your duis, beer belly, liver disease, and high price of getting smashed.

>>7601336

it's not booze specific... i drink, but i smoke weed more than i drink, and i take heroin, and benzos etc etc etc

my health is shit to begin with, i don't drive, and i weigh about 100 lbs... i can count my fucking ribs and shit... so yeah...

>>7601336
>>7601369

+ literally been how i've dealt with shit for half my life so eh... like today i was pretty upset so i took some heroin and wandered around outside smoking cigarettes...

guys who started t during puberty one way or another and got taller, how much taller did you get and how awesome was it?
gone from 5'3" to 5'6" so far
not underage, took blockers from 15-17 almost 18

Well, new gentlemen. It's time to learn the magic of suppression! I run to forget.

>>7601445
>I run to forget

I run to remember who I am. I run to make the curves go away and the bleeding lighten up. It's not much but it gets me closer.

>>7601510
>>7601445
Damn that was poetic anons

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The dysphoria has been bad today.

I am so sick of how my body looks. I find myself wondering if any of my kitchen knives would work to chop the chest masses off then cauterize the wounds amongst other similar thoughts. This comes with hopeless rage that keeps nagging every time I look in a mirror.

I hope I will feel better tomorrow.

hey cuntboys

question for the fags among you

how do you get over bottom dysphoria?

bottom surgery will never give me a dick. I'll never feel a man lips caressing my glans or know what it's like to have my balls fondled gently on the brink of orgasm. thinking this literally leads me to suicide. I want a cock so, so badly

what do I do

>>7602137
>bottom surgery will never give me a dick
one of these days, soon as i'm the one who's there when the thread dies, i'll make 'stop falling for the 'bottom surgery is shit' meme edition'
you can have a dick
you can get blowjobs and sexual stimulation and come and have the life you want
especially if you get metoidioplasty you can have a aesthetically pleasing penis with 100% normal sexual stimulation
the technology available right now 100%, completely allows for that
please get out of the early transitioner bubble and talk to some post-op guys

>>7602145
Doesn't that leave things just a few CM long, though?

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>>7602166
it leaves things a little bit longer than your pre-op size, but not substantially so (about an extra centimetre on average)
you can maximize your pre-op size, the tried and true methods are pumping and dht cream which combined could get you an extra 2+ inches (longest ftm dick i've heard of was 6", dude pumped a lot), you can also try more experimental methods like jelqing
there's also a surgeon in california who does silicone penile implants for cis men that add on average 2-3 inches, he hasn't had any post-op ftm patients i know of but it's theoretically possible

>>7602175
also, i should note the phallo surgeons in the west go for pretty small dicks (some have an average as low as 4 inches), though the ones in serbia are bigger
the phallo/meta cost/benefit analysis is pretty clear, even though somehow phallo is much more popular

>>7602184
>>7602175

Only 4 inches? Wow. Yeah, pumping and gel makes more sense in that case.

>>7600105
>How do you anger management?
By desperately seeking a somewhat relevant thread on 4chan then ranting my heart out. Sadly, no such thread currently exists, but waddaya know, my general has an on-point edition, so why don't I give you a little demo!

I just got around to watching Milo Stewart's collab with Romaing Millennial and jesus fucking CHRIST. Every point RM makes is a totally focused "these are things I often need to remind myself of, and that I've observe in others enough to trust it's a relevant point to bring up." Meanwhile at least 6/8 of Milo's point's were transparently self-serving, accusatory, "pls no bully" fucking garbage, going so far as to stick a smarmy popup of herself onto one of RM's points to say "btw I do not condone this message!"
I actually went in ready to gain new respect for Milo just for having the (entirely proverbial) balls to collab with someone as politically-opposed and well-spoken as RM, and it took her about two seconds to fuck it up and simply turn it into an lecture to educate people on how they can play by her rules, with absolutely zero thought paid to anything SHE might also be able to do in order to have more productive discussions, despite the fact that unproductive passive-aggression and outright dismissal of non-minorities is something she's called out for on a regular fucking basis. So I don't know what the fuck I expected!

Phew. Anyway yeah, that's how I anger management, totally thread related.

>>7600128
Hey man, I'll help you out if you give me bitcoin

>>7601369
>>7601377
And here I was thinking I was the only poster in FTMgen who uses heroin. Are you a junkie? Also, Do you shoot it?

>>7602211
Why u use?

>>7602211
brooklyn's an ftmg regular, he's a hardcore junkie

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>>7602228
Yes, I use. If you're asking why, just because it's amazing - feels like getting a blowjob from God
>>7602241
I'm a hardcore junkie too. I thought I was the only one....

Fun life, eh?

>>7602175
What's these dicks even look like?
Also, balls?

>>7602287
metoidioplasty looks like an ordinary small uncircumcised penis
phalloplasty varies wildly from 'flesh tube' to 'actually pretty good, if weirdly lacking in veins' but averages out at 'accurate in silhouette'
balls are present and normal

I don't really get mad as much as... riled up, if that makes sense. I'll be in a discussion with someone and just get more ruthless, eventually just steamrolling people with words. I've had maybe three people who can actually meet/challenge me at the level and it always feel terrible so I just try and keep myself in check and remember why I'm having this discussion.

Other than that, I'm more prone to getting sad and frustrated than downright pissed off.

Speaking of, I just got rejected a job, like, a few minutes ago. Feels bad, I only got a hourly thing at this other place, and the less I work the more I lapse into uselessness. I was told I made a good impression, but they ended up going with someone with more experience. All the other processes I'm in are only just getting started, and even though I have two more full pays to live off of, it's not a stellar position to be in.

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>>7602292
Meto looks like an ordinary penis the way papa smurf looks like Hagrid.

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>>7600105
I anger management by raging. I like to burn out energy smashing useless things and yelling at people. Most people react very badly to it though, even more after I started transitioning. Apparently it's just cute to see a tiny girl go hulk smashing but not so much when it's a weird hobbit-boy thing doing the same. No idea how to fix it.

>turn anger inwards
>channel into passive aggression
>recount event that angered me to anyone that will listen with gratuitous swearing and wild hand gestures

>>7602211

nah i use, i've been using opiates for half my life, on/off... but that's been more just on for a while... i actually just weaned down and then went through withdrawal for a few days not that long ago (it ended almost exactly a week ago), trying to get back to a point where i'm not physically dependent and be a little better with using... mix up what drugs i'm using a bit more... my s/o's trying to kick it (the physical dependence not h altogether, i straight up refused to do that anyway...) and kinda pushed me into it... i've only used 3 times since then, most recent was yesterday and he doesn't know about that, i did it while he was out drinking...

i don't shoot, i've debated it constantly cuz i know it'd be cheaper if i did but i know if i did that (on my own in particular if someone else did it for me then i wouldn't) i'd get really bad really quick cuz of the way i am to begin with... if it came up i know i wouldn't say n, but that's how i've always been with any kinda opiate... if it's there i'm taking it

>>7602241

i'm really not that bad...

Mfw someone on tumblr says you don't need to lose weight before top surgery and being obese won't affect your asthetic results.

>>7602441
How would they know where the woman tiddies end and the man tiddies begin?!

>>7602412

no* my bad

>>7602412
Eever experienced memory loss or confusion from your drug use?

>>7602454

yeah, my life is a blur... but like a hazy i remember a decent amount of stuff and nothing is totally gone kinda way... just out of order possibly and not all there... everything seems a little surreal

it was only what i'd consider really bad 8 years ago when i was on pcp (i went through withdrawal for it a couple times used it for idk... 6-8 months nearly every day, but i'm not sure cuz i remember it based on my bday and easter and easter isn't exactly a solid date to remember shit by ... but yeah i blacked out... one minute i was losing my shit abour deja vu then everything went back and i was going down on my s/o with no idea how i even got to that point... kept going with it cuz i couldn't think of a reason to stop and asked him about what happened the next day... he didn't remember by then though

>>7602477

+ i know i'm rarely sober, and i know that's been true for a very long time, and i take a lot of drugs... but in comparison to some of the people i know i'm really not that bad

i suppose it's just subjective what makes someone a hardcore junkie, but i mean... i've been around enough...

>>7601385
We've asked this before and the general consensus was that most anons didn't grow all that much. It mostly boils down to genetics.

can you be too underweight for t? my bmi is 16.8 (tfw destined to be manlet) but i'm like p healthy guys!! i don't want these motherfuckers to gatekeep me
but i am also too sad to not not eat

>>7602835
>tumblr typing style
gonna have to downplay that around here, kid
anyway, no, you can start t at very low or high weights (i'd argue the latter specifically is a Bad Idea given cardiac risks are cascading, but that's for particularly obese, bmi 35+ or 40+)
also, the only gatekeeping problem in 2017 for those who live in north america is that there's nowhere near enough of it -- we're probably of a similar age and i already know, at last count, 13 detransitioners, the longest of who was on t for 5 years and out for 7

>>7602866
also, that 13 is specifically people who i knew during their transition -- i could greatly increase the number if i included people who i know only because of their detransition
also admittedly 'already' is since 2012, so almost five years and counting

>>7602866
i don't understand how i'm typing like tumblr because i'm not a faggot who spends time there, but thanks for answering my question. i really like to hear about bad things happening to fat people. most fat transmen look like hideously swollen girls and make me feel ill.

>>7602937
>i really like to hear about bad things happening to fat people

>>7602866
i guess it's unfortunate for those people but i think it's better that there's easier access to hormones. it's a negligible consequence to me if there are some people who've accidentally fucked themselves up and made themselves monsters. that's their problem, not mine or the doctor's. but that is maybe fucked up of me i guess.

>>7602835
16.8 isn't that bad. T will make you very hungry so you'll gain some weight, make sure to keep a healthy diet and not eat junk.

>>7602937
>i really like to hear about bad things happening to fat people. most fat transmen look like hideously swollen girls and make me feel ill.
a large chunk of me feels the same way, friend
>>7602959
the problem is that people who detransition tend to go full 'trans people were a mistake', usually on the terf end (because terfs are tumblrinas who drop one single aspect of the philosophy) but sometimes other ways
that is...not conductive to anything going well

>>7602959
>that's their problem, not mine or the doctor's. but that is maybe fucked up of me i guess.
Nah it's true. Even without gatekeeping, there's still a lot of forces asking you if this is really what you want to do, will you feel better about yourself if (list of changes T causes) happens, etc.
You should know fully-well going into it that it's going to change a lot. If you just impulsively do it and decide it was a mistake, well too bad.

>>7602961
i know; i gotta do better. i've never seen a psychiatrist before who weighed me at appointments so i've been trying to up my game, which she gives me shit about. i'm glad to hear at least somebody agrees with me. need motivation for that boy body (just kidding, that'll never happen lol kill me)

>>7602966
do these people just wake up one day like, "gee i feel pretty trans this morning! guess i better fuck up my entire life!" or what? i can't imagine wanting to do this without feeling this way, intolerably, your entire life. i had this absolutely insane friend (mad bpd) come out as trans to me specifically -- she asked me to help her pick out "boy clothes" and shit and got this sad haircut and then a month or two later, poof: gender-fluid. or demi-boy, or whatever the fuck.

>>7602964
ugh and they perversely decide to keep that awful straggly peach-fuzz just because it's facial hair. they're just big ruddy pears. literally walking nightmares. this keeps me awake at night.

>>7603006
I guess it's that they're unhappy about some other aspect of themselves and mistake it for dysphoria. A lot of the non-psychotic detransitioners I've talked to seem to be like this.

>>7603070
yeah shit if i was as empathetic as i routinely pretend to be irl i would have thought about that first. i think a lot of girls especially grow up with super fucked ideas of what it is to be a woman, and also are raised to hate other girls so they think they're 'not like the other girls', and since they don't conform 100% to this imagined female role, they think they're trans. not to sound terf-y cause they're horrible, but for all the positive stuff that increased trans visibility and discussion re: gender has done for people, it also encourages these incredibly vain and stupid self-concepts that enable somebody to transition impulsively and then regret it, if that isn't an insane word salad and actually makes sense. example: "i'm a boy today! i'm wearing pants!" and "now i'm a girl! i'm wearing a skirt!"

>>7602441
>>7602937

I hate looking through results photos of top surgery on the overweight, because I literally can't tell what's supposed to be a good job when everything looks like an awkward blob.

>>7603006
A lot of people just seem pretty young, and going through a period of questioning. Combine that with the "freedom" of adulthood, and you're bound to get some interesting results, even beyond the experience of gender. And then there are the crazy attention whores.

>>7603134
same. i dont mean to be rude but overweght ftms seem like they have odd scar placement and the scars look darker/thicker.

i'm trying to lose weight so i can get the best top surgery results possible. i'm doing well, calorie counting apps help a lot. i'm 162 lbs currently and since i'm 5'2 i guess i should get down to the 120s. my date is in May so i have time.

I always find it unfortunate when people say going on T have them anger management problems, because for me it actually mellowed me out.

We should post pre-T pictures in the passgen thread just to watch those self hating hons tell us how our old girl selves don't pass.

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>>7604244
How's trutrans treating ya?

>>7604311
post any vaguely masculine looking cis woman celebrity and watch them say they don't pass

>>7604320
Pretty good, going on HRT felt like it lifted a two ton brick from my back mentally speaking. Not sure how to describe other than I finally felt like myself.

>>7604244
Relatable. I've less to prove these days.

>>7604396
I noticed that. Once you mentally feel comfortable, it feels way less important to try so hard when it comes to presenting because it sort of all just comes naturally.

>>7604311

i get mistaken for a transchick sometimes...like i've had chasers hit on me and shit, and been asked what my girl name was gonna be... and i've had people tell me they knew i wanted to be a chick when i've told them i was trans... even when they've heard me speak and shit (i actually posted a clip of me talking once on /lgbt/ and was told i almost had the girl voice down i just needed some work)

those same people will tell me i'm attractive and shit, so it's just sorta weird and i'm never sure how to take it... it doesn't bother me it's just sorta awkward

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why ;_;

>>7604311
I did it. Now to await the results.

>>7604790
>>7604779
?

>>7604798
Yes. It didn't work out as planned. They're better at this than we thought.

>>7604810
You were a very pretty girl. I tried posting mine once and got laughed at. They told me I had no chance of passing. Then again, normies also though I was a cis guy from my old pics.

>>7604810
Sorry I misgendered you, I thought you were just someone posting cis girl pics for shits and giggles. The truth is, it's very easy to tell when girls are AFAB, even easier than it is to tell they're AMAB if that makes sense. If a girl has some tells, then it could go either way, but if a girl has NO tells, then there's no way they're MtF.

>>7604848
>then there's no way they're MtF
not true

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Any of you bois know what these are called? I tried Links sideburns, side locks, elf side locks and burns, etc.

>>7604848
No offense taken. That's basically what I was doing. Not cis but afab.

>>7604869
Memes aside, you would benefit looking into male jewish hair styles.

>>7604880
no you wouldn't
please don't get sidelocks
frum guys have them because they love god more than their hair. nnnnnot a good aesthetic choice my dude. you will get stopped by lubavitchers if your hair is curly and if it is straight you will look like fucken inuyasha

>>7604869
That only works on anime and video game characters. Don't try this in real life, you'll look really stupid.

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I just found out I'm small enough to fit into the air vents at the local home guard bunker thingy. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go lurking there this weekend. Also, anyone here into urban exploration?

>>7604869
Fake sideburns? But either way, don't go with them. Apparently a lot of ftms try them but end up looking like dykes instead. They don't look very good in real life anyways.

>>7604984

there's no good reasons... do it... i like exploring, but i'm up for anything most of the time usually... especially when i'm wasted or plan to get wasted

spent new years day walking around doing graffiti with my s/o, his sis, and a mutual friend on this beach with abandoned houses nearby... there were some tunnels we didn't go in cuz it was dark as shit, but we're supposed to make a day trip to check them out... supposedly there's like shacks like people might live in them or some shit

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>>7605047
Nice. Do it, no delays. I always carry a flashlight in case it's dark. You take any pics of the graffiti?

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>>7604966
You forgot deathrockers.

>>7605070

nah actually the chick we were with knew someone who got caught cuz he stopped to take a pic there... it was cool though... federal property beach used to be some military shit or whatever, i can't remember

>>7604244
Same. I had two people actually concerned.
I used to be a rage machine before I went on T. I wasn't like punching people but very confrontational, and I've broken a shit ton of my own stuff. Though I think it'd own up most of that to being an emotionally unstable 15-16 year old. I'm still fucking mad at myself for putting my foot through my 60 gallon bow fronted fish tank(which was empty. not matter how angry i got i never took it out on something alive).
But T really, really mellowed me out. I find it extremely difficult to get upset about something and even if I do it goes away almost immediately or I just internalize it and direct it onto myself. Emotions usually don't happen to me in general but since I've started a new job I feel like I'm losing it. I forgot how shitty and intense emotions can be.

>>7604869
I call those tassels or jew curls.

>>7605164
you kinda sound like a nutbag desu

>>7605099
Looks like garbage, sorry.

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>>7605186
None of us have nutbags

>>7605164
>>7604244
You guys give me hope. I wrote >>7602328 hoping T will straighten me out rather than making it worse. Anyone else go mellowbellow after T? Give me good feels, lads.

>>7605152
Makes sense. Are there different laws when it comes to trespassing on federal property compared to private?

>>7605186
Because I broke things when I was a teenager? That was 11 years ago. I was definitely a nutbag. If you mean by directing it at myself/internalizing it, I don't cut myself or anything. Just feel shitty.

Well I suppose breaking shit is marginally better than being an edgy cutter.

Guess what guys! I got my first dick pic on facebook!
Joke's on him, I'm not grossed out.

>>7605186

eh... it's never been my thing, but it's not that weird a lot of people break shit when they're angry especially when they're young...

>>7605205

federal anything comes with harsher punishments...

>>7605243

is cutting really edgy if it's not done for attention?

>>7605341
yes
not only is it edgy and incredibly stupid, but you should probably be put into a mental ward

>>7605354
I don't know why you put "not only" at the start because getting help for your mental health problems makes more sense than saying someone who self harms is edgy and stupid.

>>7604848
>le tells meme

>>7605335
Even the spankies?

>>7605354

it's a common thing, if someone privately does it how is it edgy?

>>7605575

i hope so...

>>7605612
>it's a common thing
Among edgy people

>>7605648

you sound ignorant

>>7605679
common doesn't imply it's okay or not edgy

>>7605686

who said it was ok? i just said it's ignorant to call a symptom of a larger issue edgy... i'd understand if you were talking about people doing it then putting pics up everywhere or showing it off for attention... but someone going through some shit and hiding it isn't the same...

>>7604244
^ This. I used to explode in seconds on anyone and everyone before i finally decided to transition. Now I haven't been mad in 8 months.

>>7605738
Stop feeding it.

>>7605205
>Anyone else go mellowbellow after T?
Reporting in. T has been the best mood stabilizer I have ever been on and I had anxiety and depression as a kid and teen. All the meds have had nothing on finally having the correct hormones in my system. And I know it's not 'first shot euphoria' since I've been on T forgoing on 3 years. It takes a lot for me to get upset, like my fuze is longer and it's a slow low burn, but I'm not numb like with depression.

10/10 for actual trans

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I feel lonely tonight.. uhg I hate this

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>>7607210
Hate what? Here, have a complimentary cow.

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>>7607210
Another cow. The cow is good. Cow understands.

>>7607836
Requesting a highland coo.

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>>7607846
Sorry for the delay. Here's a high cow.

>>7607902
The finest cow around.

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>>7608410
runner up

>>7604869
They're just side.. pieces. Longer side burns, essentially.
Seconding the anon telling you not to do it, though. You'll look like a weeb or a dyke (or both).

>>7605205
I'm super more mellow on T. Been on it for about a year and 3 months now. I still have some issues with depression, but it's more a vague numbness instead of the wild up and down of just wanting to fucking end it every time shark week hit. Plus it is ridiculously harder to cry now, which was intensely frustrating for me. Even just getting angry would trigger tears for some godawful reason, which would make me angrier, it was a shitty cycle of feelings. I still have to figure out insurances and what meds work for me, although i was starting to have some luck with buroprin before my insurance went shitty on me.

tl;dr T was not a total fix of my brain problems but I'm way more stable now and a little better equipped to handle the rest of this shit.

Who /home alone on Friday night/ here?

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>>7612018
ayy

>>7612018
I'm watching dateline. Fuck my life is boring.

>>7612018
Same, I went downtown and nobody's around to hang out, so now I'm just hanging out at my mom's girlfriend's place

>>7612018

i'm not, my s/o is home... i'm high... took some h... we might go out in a bit

he decided to make a dating profile last night, for us as a couple... and it's fucking crazy i can't even answer all the messages it's been about 24 hours and we've gotten about 100 messages... so idk if we're going out with anyone tonight or not but we might do that

>>7612194

+ or just us

my bro is home too and his sorta gf is over... and my s/o's sis is here with her friend, but i'm only chilling with my s/o

>>7612194
wtf
what website/app is this and how are you getting so many messages

>>7612220

it's just okcupid... there's like 250 likes too so a bunch of people haven't messaged us... we just have one pic of both of us up and it's not even a good one and didn't really fill out the profile...

>>7612237

+ i've used it before on my own and he has too, and like we both get new people every day and stuff and like a few hundred people clicking like and not saying shit each... but our profile together is just kinda ridiculous... like it's seriously only been one full day and yeah...

>>7612220

we're just like really, really, ridiculously good looking

>>7612220

just so you know this >>7612294

wasn't me...

>>7612018
it's been a mope kinda day so yeah, just continuing the theme

i'd drink heavily but i got work in the morning.

First time in a long time that I've really felt depressed, i think knowing i'm off antidepressants and I might not be able to get back on is doing a number on me.

>>7612347

if i were you i'd drink anyway... and then probably go to work drunk too... at one of my jobs i used to drink sometimes during lunch breaks

and i've worked high on oxys, weed, xanax, and pcp before too...

pcp was a bad choice kinda...

why did you go off the antidepressants if they were working for you?

unrelated:

haven't puked from h in a while... i guess i did quite a bit though and i had cut down a lot before i went through withdrawal and shit... forgot how shit this part

definitely not gonna meet anyone new tonight...

>>7612453

forgot how shit this part is* my bad... i wasn't expecting it either just cuz i used like 2 days ago and then a couple days before that it was 2 days in a row... significantly less but still...

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If dubs I will get a qt gf in February

>>7612546

well shit... that didn't work out, you could probably still get one by then though... girls are really easy... people in general are

just kinda be their friend for a bit first and take it from there...

though i've never made the first move desu, idk how that works...

>>7612453
I just don't function very well if I'm on anything- I'm crap at functioning if I'm even like, underslept. I actually kinda like my job, or at least the people there, and I don't wanna fuck up.
I accidentally went to work high once because I ate an edible the night before that fucked my shit up- apart from alcohol I'm kinda straight edge- and it was an absolutely miserable experience desu.

I only went off antidepressants because I found out I was being charged way more than I thought I was gonna be- went to refill my prescription and found out my insurance company went 'lolnope'. Basically I haven't really.. dealt with the situation since then and I can't afford them right now. Company's switching insurance start of February anyways so. I thought maybe I could do without them, it'd only been about two months on them, but this month suggests that's a bad idea.

It's weird, I can more easily identify the bits of me that are feeling shitty that are kinda.. depression, that's That Shit Again, I recognize it, but it doesn't make it much easier to deal with. I'm falling back into old shitty habits I had from back before I started T, which has kinda helped the situation. mostly stress eating and leaving shit messy as fuck.

>>7612594
Your experience picking up people or rather, having them pick you up, is no where near average, Brooklyn

>>7612693

i get that, not worth it if you can't function and like your job... then it just becomes more embarrassing than anything i imagine...

in my case people can't tell when i'm high or sober most of the time, unless i'm really fucked up... like nodding or i can't walk or some shit, otherwise i'm good

i never got caught doing it at work... my drug use and drinking never affected anything... ocd did though, like that i got shit for, mostly at the last formal job i had... embarrassed the fuck out of me, and kinda made it hard for me to feel ok about working... so before i got sick there was that, and now my health issues make it impossible anyway

what kinda job do you have?

i went to work high by accident, but it was cuz of vicodin... i had taken a bunch really late then had to open so it hadn't worn off so i wasn't expecting it

i can see how an edible would be miserable... actually one of my more recent experiences with edibles was kinda shitty, and i'm used to being high... so i'm sure that was awful... for me it was that i had a bad flare with nerve pain and weed can make time feel like it's moving so slow, especially edibles... so it was just agony that felt like it was lasting forever

that doesn't sound weird to me, being able to recognize depression doesn't make it easier to control or cope with when it gets really bad... you can know what's wrong and be aware, but that doesn't make it go away... depression can be debilitating

at least february isn't too far off, hopefully you can hold your shit together 'til then... most you can do is try to

if you were in brooklyn i'd offer to at least help you clean... being surrounded by a mess can make depression a lot worse for people, which sucks since depression also can make it hard to take care of shit like that... environment can affect a person's mental state a lot... wish i could help you out though that shit's rough

>>7612902

i guess it isn't, i've been told that enough... but i just kinda look at it like i'm nothing special, and i'm a fuck up with pretty much nothing to offer and not many redeeming qualities, and that hasn't gotten in the way of anything... i'm upfront about shit too... i don't hide my drug use or being trans etc etc etc

but like... idk... even if i disregard all the people who have immediately wanted to fuck, or date, or who tell me shit like they'll take care of me or give me anything i want... and like offer me drugs and shit... if i just think about like people i've been friends with or just been getting to know there's nearly always (98% of the time) a point where they tell me they're in love with me or want more

and really i think it just comes down to most people just want to feel accepted for who they are, want someone else to be real about who they are, and don't want to be alone... so it's kinda just as easy as letting another person be themselves in front of you and accepting them

a lot of things don't matter to people more than that... which is why i suggested making a friend first, it's really easy to go from friendship to dating... it seems like it's just the way shit like that naturally progresses

>>7600105
I start fights with my dad.

And I win because he's a 50-something year old alcoholic/drug addict with a bad back who's the size of a broom like most junkies.

It feels great.

Makes me feel like a kid again back in elementary school when I could still have fair even fights with other guys.

>>7612333
>>7612294
kek

>>7612194
You two are pretty open to anything so that's probably what did it?

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9 days until top surgery consultation. Fucking 9 days. Talked to clinic over the phone. They seem nice. What can I expect? Will they be fondling stuff? I don't like when people fondle stuff.

>>7614951
Beating twigs is bullying. Unless he fucked up your childhood. Was he a meanie?

>>7615009

idk, it only says we smoke weed...

i'll be honest a lot of the people have gone on about finding us both really attractive... i'd just never say that other shit cuz while i do find my s/o extremely attractive (and so do a lot of other people cuz well... he is) i think i'm gross...so i'd never call myself that

i've had plenty of people tell me i'm extremely attractive, and i've heard every single positive male and female adjective there is to describe looks... even ones that are just ridiculously strong words for it... and it always feels like a lie, even when i know it's sincere...

so i know other people think it, but i'd never call myself that... it'd just be awkward and make me feel like i was lying

actually just got hit on as i was typing this... on my way back home from the store... weird timing

What was dysphoria like for you pre-T?

t. questioning FtM

>>7600105
Doom.

No really, try it sometime. Nothing gets the anger out better than grabbing a random WAD and shooting demons.

>>7605070
scottish folds a shit

was anyones nipples a little puffy after keyhole? and did they stop being puffy after a while?

i post op about 9 days so i know my chest is gonna be wonky looking for a while lel

/bornwithdick/ bro checking in, hey how are ya
ama big bro advice or weird questions

justthetip of the day: craftsman, stanley & midwest make excellent hand tools. for power tools, makita, stihl, snap-on. dewalt is alright.

bonus: learn the bowline knot. backwards & with your eyes closed. you need to know this knot.

>>7617421
>justthetip of the day: craftsman, stanley & midwest make excellent hand tools. for power tools, makita, stihl, snap-on. dewalt is alright.
bonus: learn the bowline knot. backwards & with your eyes closed. you need to know this knot.

Why is any of that necessary?

>>7617426
if your best friend has a big night planned, you'll want to mess with him
if you want to mess with him, you'll want to do something like steal the tires off his car
if you want to do that, you need to not get caught, so you need to do it quick
to steal his tires quickly, you need a good impact driver
if you bought a milwaukee, you bought a shit impact gun
if you bought a shit impact, you'll take too long & get caught
if you get caught, your buddy will go down to the harbor & haul a salmon carcass from the dumpster
if he has a salmon carcass, hes going to put it in your rollaway
if there's a salmon carcass in your rollaway all weekend, your shits permanently smells like hell

good tools are important.

as for the bowline knot, as far as people like firefighters, riggers, linemen, & the coast guard are concerned, there are two people those who know the bowline & those who don't. if you're ever innawoods, knowing a few basic knots very well may save your life.

also it impresses the girls when you can set up an impromptu tent on the beach in a minute & a half

you got any real questions or what?

>>7617421
>>7617477
Chill, my dude. We're not a ruler with which to measure your masculinity, or a substitute for the little brother you never had. I've been a scout since I was nine, I know my knots.

I'd be cool with having an honorary big brother, but don't force it upon me and act like I can't in2man. Just hang out and talk to us, answer questions as they arise if they're relevant, don't expect us to just be happy about some stranger coming up and giving us a noogie.

>>7617492
your taste in alcoholic beverages is shit

how was your day

>>7617501
Utterly unimpressive. I got nothing done whatsoever, despite the fact that I'm still out of a job. Argh. Also decided to test the anecdata above about mellowing out and watched a emotionally intense movie, but didn't cry, which is weird. I think I might have to go back and watch something truly tragic, though, it might just have been that this movie wasn't as sad as anticipated.

I swear like a sailor and isolate myself. Then I just vent about it when I'm not so angry. I've actually been to anger management during my teens. Only so my family could shut up.

>>7617421

pretty sure the only thing i need to know how to tie is a noose... and i'm good on that

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>>7617247
No u

>>7617055
Alien meets Hatoful Boyfriend meets Silent Hill.

>>7617421
Have you ever had a coffee enema

The cis dude who keeps coming in with his AMAs and "bro let me teach how how to be manly" shit is really annoying.

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>>7619516
Yeah, he is. Is that what women call "mansplaining"? It is like he assumes we spent our lives painting our nails and braiding each others hair.

I am in my mid thirties, have helped build cabins, fix plumbing and shingles. I am a fucking home owner. I dont need a neckbeard "big brother" telling me to learn boyscout knots.

>>7619516
He just wants a happysnake in his boipuccy, that's all.

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Anyone here read? I'm going to pick up Marcus Aurelius' meditations and some books by Bernard Cornwell tomorrow. What else should I get into?

>>7621144

i do, haven't in a bit... in the middle of the brothers karamazov right now (it's ok, i love notes from underground, but that's a better book) and i still have to get around to finishing hopscotch, lost my kindle charger moving so i haven't gotten around to that one (not that it matters since every chapter can stand on its own anyway) and i read the book sleepers not that long ago (there was a movie made out of it that i haven't seen in a long time, kids going to a juvenile detention center and the abuse they went through there... found the book a while back outside and figured i'd read it... it's very old school nyc)

idk what you're into but one of my favourite books is memoirs of my nervous illness, it was written by a schizophrenic man and is about his time in a mental health facility and some of his delusions... it's an interesting book cuz he's obviously both extremely intelligent and extremely mentally ill

i really enjoyed the obscene bird of night, it's very surreal and a little slow to start but the middle is great and the end of the book makes it all wrap up well... the middle in particular is my favourite cuz it focuses on a guy who is put in charge of watching a rich man's kid who was born deformed... the man wants his kid to grow up in a world where he isn't a freak so he hires builds huge walls around this building and hires deformed people to be the child's caretakers and teachers... the narrator is the only one who isn't deformed and it's his purpose to be the "freak" there

ryu murakami has some good books, he has a bit of an old palahniuk feel (i'm not a huge fan of palahniuk, but i love the book choke) particularly if you read in the miso soup or piercing (i preferred piercing) and kind of an easton ellis vibe (almost transparent blue is a bit like a japanese, more graphic, less than zero)

my favourite book is actually the little prince though... kid's book, but it's a great one

>>7621144
i was thinking about picking up a voyage to arcturus by david lendsay or some j.g. ballard novels next time i stop by the bookstore. also just finished house of leaves, which was better and less meme-y than i was expecting. i probably need to focus more on my actual schoolwork, though.

>>7621434

i thought house of leaves was a really disappointing book... particularly the footnotes, it had things about it that were good and potential, but so many people went on about it being great and i just didn't see it

>>7621455

+ you had lower expectations though i suppose... i only read it cuz my mother bought it, she's obsessed with horror (books and movies) and had heard a lot about it so it was around, and if i'm in the mood to read or bored enough i'll read anything...

I read Murakami's "Kaftka on the Shore" when i was bed ridden and high on painkiller trail mix.

I remember the transman librarian, Oshima, and not much else.

>>7621700

that's a different murakami... i've never read a haruki murakami book, i found norwegian wood the other day and picked it up thinking i might, but i read a couple pages and haven't gotten around to it

it's well written, but i have a hard time concentrating most days...

ryu murakami actually wrote the story for the movie audition... which i didn't care for honestly... i like takashi miike and i like ryu murakami but i thought audition was a really slow, boring movie

>>7621700

wish i was high on painkiller trailmix... i used h the past 2 days... and i'm honestly probably gonna again today which means tomorrow most likely... so there goes the 3 day rule already

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>>7622041
Bad Brookie. Spanking for you. Not that I should act all high and mighty. I got some codeine stuff for my mashed nose and brain leakage. Makes the world real comfy.

Would you (pre-T) trade bodies with a MtF (pre-E), if it also meant that you'd get their face? So your entire appearance would be different, face included.

>>7622070

since when is a spanking punishment? and nah... it kinda really is shit at this point and i know it, i also know i'm gonna do it anyway though...

i haven't had codeine in a while, last time i did it was with oxys, muscle relaxers, weed and some alcohol if i remember right (i'm not 100% on the alcohol) cuz codeine on its own has never done enough for me... it's better than nothing

i was actually taking codeine once or twice a month from like january- august last year cuz it's what i had

i just saw my dealer though... started writing this, had to go out for a bit and met up and now i'm gonna go do a couple bags

no shit though, i know opiates feel good, but never try heroin...

>>7622324
Becoming someone else would just create a different type of dysphoria no?

So I've got a question. I'm really curious why I never see any trans men floating around on scruff or Grindr or any of the other gay hook-up apps. I mean I understand if you don't swing that way but where the fuck are all the bonus hole boys at? Call me a chaser or what ever, I'm just a sucker for baby faces and tattoos and every trans dude I've met has a baby face and tattoos

>>7622423
I didn't think about that. Maybe? You'd feel your face doesn't represent you. But you already sort of feel that way pre-HRT, right?

>>7622324
I've thought about that one before. I personally wouldn't, I kinda like my face. It's not perfect but I don't think I'd be able to get used to someone else's face anyways.

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>>7622453
I'm bi and tried it once and only once. Holy hell it's creepy. Good for you if you're a decent guy and all, but fuck apps. You could try forums instead. There's always some guys looking for friends.

>>7622417
Brookie likes spankies? Are you a naughty boy?

I'm with you on that one. Heroin is on my no list, along with meth. I believe in exploring drugs but some things are just too heavy. I mean, with so many mind-altering things that are less destructive, I think I'm going to go through that list before attempting it. If I get cancer or something then maybe. End of the line kind of stuff.

Update on the bunker. I fucked up the lockpicking. so we didn't get far. I used to be real good at lockpicking but the models have gotten more advanced so less luck now. Old houses are no problem though.

>>7622502
>creepy
Not that anon, but care to elaborate?

>>7622473
Nah. I like my body and face, just not the feminine aspects of it. If I had been born a cis male version of me I would be pretty happy. I'm not handsome or anything, just normal, and that's alright.

>>7622514
70 yo poz daddies looking for a boytoy for bathhouse kind of thing. I got no replies from normal gay people. Don't know if that's the norm or what, but too heavy for me I guess.

>>7619516
I don't mind it, if I actually had questions. I don't need a lecture on the importance of knot-tying.

>>7622453
>bonus hole boys
Eh, a lot of transdudes don't like using that hole. And a lot of gay men wouldn't want to stick it there anyway. There's exceptions.
Plus they might not advertise that they're trans on their profile, you wouldn't find out until you're already working something out with them.

>every trans dude I've met has a baby face and tattoos
Well shit, you got me.

>>7622804
Not him but what tattoos do you have? Could you post them?

>>7622453
How did you know about my babyface and my tattoos, damn stalker.
Shit aside, I'd say it's cause not many ftm trannies are into the whole bonus hole thing, or flag their status around, since we tend to pass pretty well in general. Just chase the babyface tattoo guys and your chances increase

>>7623127
>or flag their status around

Trans men don't note that they're trans in their dating profiles? I thought they usually do since I thought all trans people generally do that to avoid getting matched with a transphobe.

>>7623181
Definitely not *all* of them, honestly it doesn't concern people unless I have the intention to date them\go further than friendship. If I get matched with a transphobe too bad, they'll go fuck themselves. I'd rather risk that than make it public I'm a tranny. Hell, not even my closest friends know.

>>7619516
Eh he's neutral to me, whatever the intentions if he knows something interesting I'd ask. Not saying I'm fervently interested about knotting or choosing my own tools, but I doubt he has any ill intent.

So...I start T on the 27th. I've been waiting for this day for the past 6 years, but I'm terrified for some reason. I know I won't regret it but it's going to be such a life-changing experience.

Anybody else have this feeling?

>>7623313
I saw your post before, Fiona, you just deleted it and re-posted it without trip. The fuck are you doing?

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>>7623321
Feelin' myself.

>>7622502

i prefer being whipped, but spanking is fine with me too... i'm pretty into bdsm, but only with my s/o... i see it as more intimate than just sex, so that's reserved for him but yeah, we do a lot of shit along those lines together... but it's definitely not the same as just sex is for me

i wouldn't do meth, or rather i have no desire to... i'm not a huge fan of uppers... i took coke years ago and hated it, but i took it again more recently a couple times just cuz it was still there and a party... and i didn't hate it, but i feel whatever about it... i'll take it, but i wouldn't buy it or seek it... i just love opiates and have since i was 15

i used to have a deal with myself that i'd never seek heroin out, but if the opportunity to try it came up i would... then it did and well... now i'm here

i haven't shot up ever, i'd rather not... i would never go on t injections and i was always afraid of that cuz i knew if i did it would turn into me shooting up... even before i tried h i had that fear cuz i know myself with opiates and i knew i'd end up taking it eventually

it's not a road i want to go down, and it scares me cuz i know myself too well...

yeah it's definitely something that should only be end of the line... it's my favourite drug and i'll never stop it altogether, but i would never want to introduce anyone to it and i could never feel ok with telling someone else to try it cuz no...

sucks that you couldn't get in... are there any other ways in? or maybe you could just find out more about that type of lock to try it... there's a few places i wanna check out before i leave brooklyn... i'm sure i'll visit just cuz it'll always be home in a sense (the streets and park and shit) and my bro is staying, but idk when

got any pics of it?

>>7622804

i have tattoos too + people always think i'm younger than i am...

i actually don't care about using either hole, if something feels good i can turn off and drown in the sensations

>>7623534
I know dude, this thread makes me really sad and dysphoric too. But it's not our place to judge, they hate their bodies just as much as we hate ours, probably.

>>7623534
Susan pls go

>>7623366
Have fun

>>7623534
They are women, just deluded ones who ruin their bodies with testosterone.

>>7623534

being born a transguy isn't a blessing, it's just as bad as being born a transwoman... be jealous of cis chicks, being jealous of us is fucking retarded... if you were born exactly the way we were you'd feel just as shitty as you do now

>>7623544

so why are you here if it makes you feel like that?

>>7623534
>>7623544
>>7623565
Fuck off, this is exactly the type of shit that makes me hate most of the MtFs on this board.

t. MtF

>>7623601
Being a whiteknight will get you nowhere.

>>7623621
What the hell do you even mean, "whiteknight"? I'm not even romantically (or sexually) interested in men. I'm here to see the FtM perspective because the MtF general is full of drama and bs. I don't participate when my perspective isn't necessary, I just lurk.

>shorter than 5'6
>thinking transitioning
>going to be called a manlet

>>7623784
Manlet cutoff is 6' now.

I like my friend. I've known her since middle school and we're 21 and 22. she's sweet and very supportive of my transition. How do I know if she likes me back?

bonus: she's like 4'9 so even though im a manlet im still taller than her

>>7623804
>she's like 4'9


da fuq

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>>7623565
You yourself are ftm on testosterone. >>7623313

>>7623837
you never met a short chick in your life?

>>7623565
yeah it's not like transition/hrt is the only effective treatment for gender dysphoria or anything

>>7622855
Stars on my hips, nothing special.

>>7623601
I know dude, I hate most of the MtFs on this board too. But it's not our place to judge, they just didn't start HRT as early as us, it's not their fault.

>>7623181

i always tell people straight up that i'm trans just cuz i don't wanna deal with shit or feel like i'm lying to them... cuz no matter what people think at first (i get a lot of mixed reactions from people... sometimes people think i'm a cis girl sometimes people think i'm a cis guy and sometimes they can tell i'm trans ... though usually when people do know i'm trans they get it wrong and think i'm a transgirl... which is awkward, i've had quite a few chasers)

dating sites are just kinda overwhelming though... like my s/o just made a profile for us as a couple about 3 days ago, and i can't even keep up with the messages, just fucking well over 100 from all different people... when we've done it on our own separately we get new people every day and lots of people liking our shit but not saying anything, but it's more manageable... this is just ridiculous though... my s/o doesn't want to deal with speaking to people cuz he only likes hanging out in person so he wants me to, but it's too much i don't think we'll meet anyone like this i can't keep track

this one guy wants to buy us drugs in exchange for watching us have sex...

>>7623861

short is 4'11-5'3

4'9 is extremely rare and dwarf/midget height. i'm not hating i wish i had a 4'9 gf

>>7623949
try asians, filipinas, some of those wee latinas

you can find teeny gf eventually

>>7623784

could be worse i'm 5' ...

>>7623804

idk... in my experience chicks have always made the first move and i'm clueless 'til they tell me they're in love with me or wanna fuck... but if you've known her a long time why don't you try telling her she looks pretty or flirt with her and see how she responds?

>>7623949

i have twin cousins who are 4'9, a lot of the women and men in my family are extremely short... on both sides... my mom is 4'11 and my dad is 5'2

Has anyone else here gotten carpal tunnel syndrome from jerking off too much?

>>7624000
not carpal tunnel, but i have made my hand sore for a couple hours

that happened pre-t too though, i was always a horny fuck

>>7623997
>my mom is 4'11 and my dad is 5'2

Close to my family we're all really short. Mom is around 4'11, Dad is 5'5, I'm 5'5 and my brother is 5'4-5'5.

>>7623860
Prove it, bitch. I post without a trip all the time for more replies

I was trying to start a shitpost chain.

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Am i still ftm if I fantasize about someone fucking me and humiliating me about it?

Am i still gay if I fantasize about someone fucking me and humiliating me about it?

>>7624118
>yeah take that you homo gay you like that

>>7624099
Maybe you should ask your feminine penis, Cara

>>7624099
A A P AS FUCK

>>7624139
i'd be down for that if we can cuddle after

>>7624140
What

>>7624158
DROPPED
R
O
P
P
E
D

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>>7624167

>>7624158

>.> i love you

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>>7623520
Not a fan of uppers myself. I'm looking for tranquility in life and my drugs reflect that. Coke is overrated in my opinion. It's like very strong mate combined with coffee without the caffeine shakes. If I want that I'll just have the coffee tb h.

Luckily I haven't found a drug I'm married too yet. It seems you found it in opiates. I like to explore more, and I get just as much enjoyment from a hard workout as from drugs so I think I'm safe from falling down the rabbit hole. At least for now.

Don't have any pics. I can see if I can get some this week. There's only one entrance, but we haven't given up yet. My m8 is a hyperactive rabiesmonkey and I'm hoping I can persuade him into helping me out. He's the perfect cat burglar except he has good-boy-moral for some reason. Silly boy.

A snickerdoodle is not a snickers

>>7624345
Did someone learn this the hard way?

>>7624462
yes

>>7624014

my older bro has a different father than me and he's 5'10... but my little bro (and this is just fucked) is 5'9 ... there's a handful of taller people on my mom's side and he got those genes... so both of my siblings are a lot taller than me and our parent(s)

on the bright side my little bro has a lot of ass/thighs/hips and i don't have that going on... he has trouble buying pants whereas i can walk into the boy's section and buy them no problem... even skinny jeans or slim fit shit... only issue i have is that i have to get a size bigger than what actually fits me cuz a boy's size 10 has a such a short inseam that they're all like capris or some shit whereas a boy's 12 is a proper length

and honestly i'd rather be short than have all that hips/thighs/ass going on, so i feel like that's close to being lucky...

Are there any FTM's here willing to participate in pure love with a MTF?

aka

[spoiler]feminine benis in masculine bagina[/spoiler]

>>7624536
Nah, but I wouldn't mind give your girl tinkler headpats

>>7624548
im okay with this.

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Has anyone here transitioned in the middle of a long application process?

The one I'm in is a year long and with the state. Im also afraid the positioning isn't too trans friendly... Pic related is the job. A game warden.

>>7624935
>A game warden
Where? Dream job desu ;_;
And yeah, you should stealth if at all possible. It's a type of occupation that attracts traditional souls.

>>7624935
Not quite, but if things go as planned, I'll have a good job and then start transitioning 2-3 months into it.
Which I'm really worried about the reception of.

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>>7624952
My dream job too. The job is in California. And boy does it attract traditional souls. I hunt and the people in that community are unfortunately conservative. Not all but most. I got a dose of it when i worked at a gun shore in SoCal. I would love to be stealth too.
If you have any questions about the job feel free.
>>7625042
I'm afraid of the reception as well. I wish you luck. Im in the early phases. I just took my written test on the 3rd and by the end of February should receive my results.

>>7625253
Have you taken any steps toward socially transitioning yet? Maybe it would be less of a shock to them if you had already been presenting that way beforehand.

>>7624260

yeah that's actually exactly how i feel about coke... it's really whatever to me, and i kinda just feel like i could just have coffee... but when i had it when i was younger it fucked me up with my ocd, at the time though i only had weed in my system with it... i haven't had coke without already being on heroin and drinking and weed more recently though and one of the times i was on xanax too... with the other shit, so i'm sure that mellowed shit out

i did yeah... ever since that first time when i was 15 that was it... my s/o's mom gave them to me actually, i was in a lot of pain at her house, asked for tylenol and she didn't have any... gave me one of her high mg oxys instead, i didn't even know what i took 'til after it kicked in... and well it was the best thing i felt ever... so it kinda all started by accident

i can't workout anymore, but when i used to be into it i preferred to smoke weed first... high workouts, that's the thing though when i enjoy something i like it best with drugs and then when something is negative i turn to drugs too... and for as much weed as i smoke it's never been my favourite it was just me substituting for what i really wanted which of course was opiates

i love weed don't get me wrong, but yeah... i didn't even bother smoking weed 'til i was 21 cuz i figured there was no way i'd like it better than opiates so why bother? and i was right... still have yet to find any drug i love more

it's better that you haven't found yours though... it's not the best thing to find especially when it's something like what i've got going on...

good that you haven't given up, that sounds like it's potentially too good to give up on... i don't really know anyone like that, with the good boy moral thing going on i mean... what part of it would put him off though? it's just an abandoned bunker you're breaking into...

>>7625320
Only with close friends...which is just one haha.
My famly rents me and my gf a room. They just started getting used to me being a lesbian and they don't seem to like trans ppl to much. My parents see them as sick or freaky.. I may be getting a better paying job soon.

>>7625460
In order to move out of the house.

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just curious anyone try cross dressing, that is wearing overtly male clothing, even though you don't pass yet?

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>tfw tornado watch

>>7625634
That's what I've been doing lately.
I personally feel like I pass fairly well but I'm pretty sure everyone else just sees me as soft butch considering how often I get "ma'am"d without hesitation.
Grinds the fuck out of my gears but I'm doing my best for now.

>>7613791
Ah it's all really not too bad so far, I'm just making myself nervy by slipping into old bad habits. Seriously, though, thank you man. I appreciate the sentiment.

And yeah, my shitty experience with edibles had that fucking time slow thing too! Jesus. It was so bad for me that for a while I literally couldn't move at all, and I just remember being so incredibly depressed about being caught in the inevitable forward march and then replay of time, just an unending interminable loop of existence with no escape.
It was pretty bleak!
Weirdly the next few days (after the next day of being dazed anyways) I felt chipper as fuck.

I'm a cook at a little brewpub, it's a laid back environment and I have the nicest boss I'm likely to ever have. It's a good place. I'm sorry you had shitty experiences working, OCD must be a pain in the goddamn ass.

>>7622453
Joke's on you, I'm too indecisive and broke for tattoos!

I tried Grindr once and got as far as exchanging pics and then got ghosted- dunno if it's cause I'm a chubby fuck (see: baby face) or what but I've never been good at flirting much less one night stands. I pretty much only install it when wasted and then uninstall it in a fit of hangover shame the next day. I do put that I'm trans up front but I don't like advertising that fact to people potentially near me, because god dammit I DO pass and I don't wanna wreck that. If I weren't in a big-ass city I'd wait to discuss that.

>>7623943
>this one guy wants to buy us drugs in exchange for watching us have sex...
sounds like a pretty good deal

>>7623784
Same, but even being a manlet is better than living as a woman.

I've met a few guys in my life who are actually shorter than I am and are fairly respected so it gives me hope. One Hispanic guy I'm working with at my dishwashing job is shorter than me but he's beefy as fuck.

Any of you in Maine and want a boyfriend?
>>34354113

>>7624536
no

wtf why have the hons invaded our thread again?
Your behavior in here is exactly why we don't like you.

>>7627090
Because they are male-socialized narcissists.

>>7625682
>straight leg cut in male pants
how do you fit your hips or are you lucky enough be built like a boy

>>7625634
Been crossdressing for eleven years. People talk shit on me sometimes but I moved to a liberal area so it's fine.

I don't understand how closet ftms wear female clothing. I would have killed myself a decade ago if I had tried to do that. How do you look in a mirror or whatever and not vomit?

>>7623534

Not sure if mad MtF or mad /r9k/

>>7627107
>women
>not wanting to be the centre of everyone's attention all the time
>~btw yes I'm a grill don't hit on me you silly boys~~

evening lads

>>7627821
It's 8:36 AM, anon.

>>7628006
just gone midnight
not long back from the pub and now I'm listening to the vogues
not bad

>>7625634
I've been doing that for as long as I can remember, nobody gives a shit, couldn't stand the mere idea of myself in female clothes. Going to start T soon, therapist thinks i'm already doing "real life experience" cause i present as male

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>>7625651
Tornado party! :D
I once experienced a tornado in Germany. I was hitchhiking and camped out on a field for the night, then got woken up by an insane thunderstorm followed by a tornado. I found shelter under a gas station roof along with a few cars, among them being a traveling clown who decided to juggle for the kids to calm them down. It was a bizarre night.

>>7625341
I don't get how you can take so much at the same time. Why not switch between different stuff so you don't build up tolerance? I also like to take stuff while fasting to get max effect from whatever I'm taking. But then again, I'm nowhere near your level of expertise.
Working out high? That's the only area I can see uppers as beneficial but I don't like the increased heart risk that follows the combination.

The bunker thing. It's not abandoned, it's still used by the home defense so there's some issues there. My boy is worried about legal consequences. But like I told him, it's not like we're going to rob the place or break anything. I just want to sniff around a bit. If we play it safe with the lock they won't even know we've been there. As far as I see it, as state property I have the right to be there since the state is owned by citizens.

>>7625634
Tomboys are a dime a dozen. Men in dresses are the real rebels.

mfw i put gold bond powder on my crotch after i shower

>>7627494
>How do you look in a mirror or whatever and not vomit?
Back when I did do that, I just covered up my dysphoria with my attraction to girls.
Basically, instead of seeing this as my body, I just saw it as a hot girl body. I'd wear the kind of things that I like to see on other girls.

It was a type of dissociating, I suppose. I wouldn't recommend it.

>>7628269
wat

why do ftms never post in the passing threads?
did you all grow beards and insta-pass after your first injection??

>>7628459
Last time I did, I eas told shit like, "shave your beard, you at least have feminine eyes, with work you could be a pretty girl" z and I was le confused. I have squinty little pig eyes.

>>7628459
We usually post our passing shit in here.
Plus a lot of people are still pretty self-conscious about posting their faces on the scary 4chin

Also somewhat what >>7628665 said. Since MtFs greatly outnumber us, most people in those threads assume everyone is MtF. Easily fixable but still a little off-putting.

>>7628459
There's like 40 transguys here, and 400 benisgirls. Every pass thread has 100 girls, one transguy, and a few dozen chasers in it. I think it evens out

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>>7628710
It is funny when we post and get told we're too ugly to be girls, tho. Life goal.

>>7626148

i get that... worrying about old habits is rough, and np... i'd do that for anyone really if they needed it honestly

i could move around and all that, i don't get freaked out by that cuz i know time is gonna move slow and normally i like that cuz it makes me feel like i have more time to do everything i wanna do... like i can focus more cuz time is irrelevant somehow, if that makes sense... but when it was coupled with excruciating pain it was just really shit... i alternated between sitting in bed playing guitar and curling up in a ball trying to breathe through pain... knowing time was gonna move slow made it worse, and the pain honestly felt more intense like i could feel every second of it better

yours sounds more just like a straight up bad high mixed with depression though, and idk... sometimes when you spend a long time going over shit like that in your head (like what can happen sometimes with weed and when you're in that place where time seems slow) you end up feeling better afterwards cuz you sorted through some shit... so even though the experience was unpleasant it becomes worthwhile in that sense

back when i would smoke dusted weed i'd have a lot of moments like that...

sounds like a nice job, my s/o really enjoyed it when he was a cook... i know kitchens can be pretty nice environments with a lot of laid back people in spite of there being a lot of work that needs to get done... ocd is a bitch yeah, it gets in the way of a lot of shit and i find it really embarrassing... i try to hide it, or not really mention it but everyone notices at some point

doesn't matter now though, my health issues fuck all that up anyway... i honestly only get out of the house as much as i do cuz of heroin...

>>7626780

eh idk... on one hand i wouldn't care... we've had sex while other people were in the room with us before... not a situation like that, but shit happens... on the other hand it just... seems pretty fucking depressing

>>7628208

i take a lot of things at once like that cuz they're offered to me all at once... i haven't had xanax or muscle relaxers in a while, i don't drink every day, i don't smoke weed every day anymore either... i'm trying to not take heroin every day, i was cuz it was there and then i kept going with it cuz i couldn't deal with withdrawal and i didn't want to... and it's hard for me with heroin moreso than anything else cuz even when i'm not high it takes away pain and i can function and almost feel fucking human again after being sick for years... and it's fucking terrible that it's my favourite high on top of that cuz well... turns into this shit...

i did finish everything before i went to bed last night though... so i don't have today, and i can stick to my 3 day rule... but by thursday i'm sure that will be over...

weed is actually great for workouts and i've taken h and then just walk for hours... never tried doing much of anything after an upper other than play pool and drink more... the heart thing would've never even crossed my mind

to be honest i'm at a point where i don't really care... and i'm more just like "eh this will kill me or it won't oh well"

oh i got'cha i was thinking it was abandoned... i mean i'll be honest i have your outlook on shit, but i guess i can see why someone would be sketched out if it's still being used

still hope you get in though, mostly cuz that wouldn't stop me from trying

crazy tornado story btw...

>>7628459

i know what i look like, and i don't need to ask other people so i don't bother...

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I want to have my hair cut shorter, at least some kind of bob.

I'm not out and everyone says I'll look like shit with short hair but this long hair is killing me. What do

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Sigh, why do trans men feel entitled to rush sororities when trans women are often banned

>>7629112
i have never, ever met a trans man interested in joining a sorority, though i've met a few trans guys in frats
do you mean trendscum?

>>7629083
Long hair isn't necessarily feminine, but I understand if its currently aggravating your dysphoria. Ironically, I'm growing mine out now that I'm on T.

If you decide to get it cut, let the stylist know to square the hair at your neck rather than making a rounded shape.

>>7629083

cut your hair however you want, doesn't matter what other people think of it since it's your hair + plenty of cis chicks have short hair now... it's in style so no one is gonna know you're trans just cuz your hair is short

hair length kinda has fuckall to do with gender... so you know... there's that anyway

idk, i have long hair personally, i don't feel dysphoric about it and don't see any reason to... that being said if it bothers you change it

hair grows back and you can get a hat + just cuz other people think something might look bad doesn't mean it will and even if it does it isn't permanent anyway...

>>7629083
No one tells cis dudes they'll look bad in short hair. The male/female assignation to hair length is completely arbitrary and I promise you there'll be a style and length you look good in.

Does anyone have pics of Gus from the early days of /lgbt/? He was originally in a drawing of the board with /pol/ jets flying and bombing overhead and a bunch of crying mtfs, and then I think made it into another couple of comics.

I ended up growing a mullet since I last visited this board when it was first becoming a thing, and I always think of that character.

Hope all is well fellow vagina brothers

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>>7600105
>tfw skipped the first day of class because it was windy and i was afraid to drive

will i ever lead a successful life-fu

>>7629112
Yeah agreeing with the other anon, that sounds like transtrenders.

>>7629304
>it was windy and i was afraid to drive
wtf where do you live

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>>7629290
this is all i got

>>7628394
it's minty

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>>7629410
jersey

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>>7629290

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>>7629943
Nigga are you fucking srs

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>>7630144
GUSTS OF 60

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>>7630157
Jesus christ

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>>7630214
i dont know why ur acting like this is nt srs bro

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>>7630258
....
My country doesn't even define that as a storm. Not even a minor one. You guys are pussies.

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>>7630271
what third world shithole do you live in?

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>>7630322
One where civilization doesn't collapse from a small breeze

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>>7630351
i hear somalia is beautiful

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>>7630376
You should go there. Report back on what you find.

>>7629943
I'd be more concerned with the rain than the wind.
Even then, that's nothing. You can reasonably skip class when the radar shows red.

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>>7629290
Good old Gus.

>>7630609
Why are MtFs so disgusting?

t. MtF

>>7629124
>>7629398
That dude in the picture literally rushed every sorority on campus saying they should let him in because he doesn't feel comfortable in a ferternity.

which is like tons of fun considering as an mtf I can't even get into a women's abuse shelter after my uncle sexually abused me.

Why would you want a male's body? It's every man's dream to live in a woman's body.

>>7631209
Why would you want a woman's body? It's every woman's dream to live in a man's body.

>>7630875
Male bodies are inherently dangerous, female bodies are not.

>>7631272
wrong

the opposite is true though

>>7631209
no its not fag

>>7631293
Wrong

It goes both ways

>>7631298
>fag
Am I though?

You're the one wanting a male's body.

If you were a straight male you'd lust over your own body and never change. You'd be leaving the dream.

>>7631337
If I paid for your tits would you get the surgery?

>>7631410
No because most MtFs look like shit. However you guys have a natural body.

>>7631449
>Not having a natural body
Get out skinwalker

>>7631498
natural woman body*

>>7631410
Oh, that is the test, isnt it.

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>>7631503
Nice try. Skinwalker pls go and stay go. Or post tits.

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>>7631525
It is the best test.

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>>7631544
At least I'm not gay.

>ruining perfectly good tits

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>>7631573
>At least I'm not gay
>it posted on /lgbt/
Ahahahahaha

>>7631608
>it

Learn my pronouns meatbag.

I'm a cis straight white male.

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>>7631622
Are you also ginger?

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>>7631337
>If you were a straight male you'd lust over your own body and never change. You'd be leaving the dream.

i guess, but i really can't enjoy it
the depersonalization mostly gets in the way, i feel like a brain floating outside of a body most of the time

new thread
>>7632132

>>7628459
Because we're above the narassistic but simultaneously self hating honkadonk circlejerks.

>>7628459

If I want people to mistake me for a girl and try to teach me how to gussy up, I have my life.

any other ftms dealing with hair loss