/repgen/ - repression general

>Who here trans but repressing?
Me!
>would never be accepted as real girl in real life
Check!
>would never be accepted as trutrans on the internet
Check!
>would always be a freak / hon
Check!
>inb4 "you can't repress forever"
I'm killing myself soon this year.

>>7535968
Same, I hope. It's nice knowing my family and friends won't have to tolerate my made up problems and illnesses much longer.

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>>7535955
Pic related

As they say, the only winning move is not to play

>>7535955
>>7535968
>>7536010
>wanting to die
>not waiting until science can turn you into a cis girl
get on my level

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Does anyone else read TERF rhetoric and get some sick pleasure from self loathing and denial?

>>7536619
I like reading Caraposter's forced transition stuff because I wish that had happened to me.

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>>7535955
I used to be the master repressor.

Thought I was trans. Was actually just a faggot and only wanted to be a little feminine and date guys

Now I'm a fag with a boyfriend and couldn't be happier.

>>7536713
Why did you think you were trans? Do you do crossdressing stuff with your boyfriend now?

>>7536713

Trip on zombo.

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>>7536750
One of those bad side effects from repressional thinking

"Only girls can date guys, no wait guys can date guys you idiot brain"

Yeah. I also had no childhood trans indicator. Liked my male body and pretty much was only jealous of girls being able to date boys.

Now I have a bf I just feel very comfortable being a submissive male

>>7536754
Spartan actually babe

Didn't bother repressing much, came out pretty soon after I knew. I maybe should have tried for a bit, but even with my friends knowing and being nice about it I'm still suicidally depressed, so repressing might have killed me. I have no idea.

>>7536792
>I also had no childhood trans indicator. Liked my male body and pretty much was only jealous of girls being able to date boys.
Maybe I'm like you? I don't hate my body, but I do wish it was a girl's. But that could be repressional thinking too. Maybe not for liking guys, because I wanted to be a girl before I did, but for other things like the way women are treated?

>>7536829
If you don't experience gender dysphoria or something like it, repress and don't dare transition. Your life will be much better.

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>>7536829
>but for other things like the way women are treated?

>being submissive in bed
>having your hand held
>hanging onto him while at the club
>feel soft, vulnerable and fem
>having his arms around you while you sleep
>being loved by a man

If any of that sounds good to you

Go gay. If you don't like it then no harm done. It's all mental. No hormones.

>>7536870
>or something like it
Does being on /lgbt/ and feeling jealous of passing trans girls count?

Can I at least try HRT to see how it feels?

>>7536516
You will be waiting for at least 200 years until medical science has advanced far enough to alter your XY chromosomes into XX, or they can literally do a whole body transplant, where they transplant your brain, mind, consciousness, or whatever into a cis female body.

>not waiting until science...
I can't live that long, anon. And even if I could, I'd still kill myself because I'm too depressed from traumatic past events and I've realized what a shitty place this world is. I envy cis girls, and think most of them take for granted what I desperately wish I could have. This so-called "male privilege" can kiss my ass and go kill itself.

H-hey guys... I-i just came up with a funny joke.
What is the side-effect and rhymes with repression?
Depression.
*crickets, nobody laughing*
I-i will go kill myself now.

>>7536905
Yes that all sounds perfect. Do you get to dress as a girl too? Does he call you female pronouns? Or did you stop wanting that?

How to meet gay boyfriends who'll act straight and treat you like a girl?

I still want female privilege for everything else in life too. Perfect as what you have would be, it's only in one relationship, with one guy.

>>7536916
Doubt it.

Being on HRT long enough for any changes to happen and going back is going to fuck you up. I'm not an endocrinologist, so I can't explain in detail, but it seems like a bad idea.

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>>7536966
You got the no sense of humor down right like a female.

>>7537063
BTFO

If I like actually funny jokes does that prove I'm not really trans? The opposite for FtMs, obviously.

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>>7537081
No just means you're human tbqh.

Humos my best trait tbqh and i got it from my mom and ive met funny women before. Even men are barely really funny. Its just a stereotype rrally tbqh.

>>7536948
but head transplants are perhaps right around the corner.

>I can't live that long, anon.
you might, thanks to science.

>I envy cis girls, and think most of them take for granted what I desperately wish I could have. This so-called "male privilege" can kiss my ass and go kill itself.
iktf ;_;

>>7536905
What if I'm AGP as well?

>tfw life is one big repressiongen

>>7536619
Yep I like reading terf stuff sometimes. I'm agp so seeing terfs reeeeee about other agps is pretty funny.

>>7536619
>>7538080
What's TERF stuff do you read? Why would you do that?

>>7535955
if you're going to off yourself anyways why not just transition?

>>7538187
Good point. Ladies, what's your answer?

Myself, I think up endless excuses to do neither.

IM NOT TRANS

>>7538192
I don't want to transition. I can't face life knowing that everyone around me knows I'm a tranny and think I'm a weirdo because of it. My original wish was to be a normal regular girl, not some tranny LGBT monster freak.

>>7538226
Neither is anybody else but some of them still become near-girls.

>>7538116
Gendertrender and Dirtywhiteboi are my faves but i've read others. R/gendercritical is both fascinating and painful. I have a habit of reading altrighty sorta stuff too, somethingsensitive.com mocks hons and transgenderism so much that it makes /lgbt/ look like reddit.

I guess its a bad habit from when I was more repressed and had a strong interest in transgenderism. Which ironically I learnt more about through alt-right circles than leftist ones. For me transition is a bad idea because i'm older AGP and quite masculine looking. So its good to see transgenderism questioned and hons mocked. I wouldn't want to get any ideas. Its why I started reading /lgbt/ instead of reddit, cuz this place is so mean.

>>7535955
same senpai
all three

>>7538187
>>7538192
>ladies
first stop being an enabler

>why not just transition
you say this and i basically guarantee you're under 6' tall, started hormones before 20, etc. etc.
it's like those normies who post image macros "if you're suicidal congrats the world is your oyster! go to the bar and ask her out! get in a fight! swim with dolphins! learn a new language and travel the world! if you're just going to kill yourself anyway the consequences don't matter!"

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>>7538777
This. I've been through both and the comparison is brilliant.

>21 (way past agp hon cutoff)
>6'1"
>masculine face
>asymmetrical features
>terrible voice
>unaccepting and poisonous country
Even if I had a chance of passing, I wouldn't do it because of my family. I've caused them enough stress with my depression, no need to trouble them with this selfish gender bullshit as well.
>unaccepting

>>7538825
Aww yiss, Memories of Emanon is great.

>>7538825
How is 21 past the "hon cutoff"?

And it's not selfish to be the gender you identify as. It's no more selfish than a cis girl being a girl because that's how she identifies. It's entirely your identity, so it's not selfish to be who you actually are. Or maybe it is, but it's a justifiable kind of selfishness.

>>7535955
>Who here trans but repressing?
reporting in
>would always be a freak / hon
would always be a 5'3" manlet with no dick in real life. if I can't have a real penis, no dice. phallo a shit

>>7538944
I know dudes who are 5'3. Yeah you'd be short but at least you'd be a man, right?

The penis thing, though, I get.

>>7538939
If I was really trans and not just a sick fetishist, I would have transitioned already. And it's selfish because my mother is very emotionally unstable and I don't want to ruin her world because of my whimsies. If I survived 21 years as a male, I'l make it through another few before I kick the bucket.

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>>7536905
Sounds perfect. I just want to be a 19 yo femboy forever. [spoiler] ;_; [/spoiler]

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>>7538825
>21 (way past agp hon cutoff)
every bdd-chan who told you that should be rounded up and shot
you will look much more masculine in ten years

>>7538944
>mostly caring about the dick
I guess you are a fetishist too
just like agps who only want to be pretty girls to have sex

>>7539164
sounds like hes already past that, some guys are already masc af at 19 while other still look like boys till mid 20s

>>7539164
Can confirm am 32 y/o masc agp. A lot of you twink faggots can just screw around with hormones and see if you pass.

>>7539217
regardless of how you look at 21, testosterone levels peak early 30s and aging continues going firmly in one direction throughout life

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>>7536999
We don't take it serious but it's still really cute and fun

Maybe one day I'll go to the gay club dressed wth him if I'm really brave

>>7539352
I thought I could be in your situation, maybe I would be happy being a fem fag, but Im too agp and simply being a gay bottom wouldn't do it

btw is that movie worth watching?

>>7539422
It's really good yeah

>6`3
>masc face at 20
>AGP
>intolerant family
repression is only choice

>>7539678
>save money for years
>get FFS
>become 6'3 model in the future when trans models are even more widespread

>>7538777
>it's like those normies who post image macros "if you're suicidal congrats the world is your oyster!
>if you're just going to kill yourself anyway the consequences don't matter!"
well they have a point. murder-suicides do happen, so plenty of people evidently believe that logic.

>>7539678
MOVE OUT
MONES WILL FIX FACE!
>6`3
oh nevermind, sorry

>>7539023
>If I was really trans and not just a sick fetishist, I would have transitioned already.
There is no "really trans", just those who transition and those who don't.

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>>7541682
yes there is, some know it from an early age, others dont mind being men or sit on the fence until its too late

>>7539678
20 isn't too late.

>>7538825
>21 (way past agp hon cutoff)
lol who the fuck told you that?

Besides, you can medically transition without socially transitioning

>>7541721
Yeah people have ages, did you know age is a spectrum?

>>7541721
Is that picture you? If it is, yeah, maybe it's too late. If not, there's a chance.

>>7535955
>would never be accepted as real girl in real life
True, I don't think I'm passable and I'm too old.

>would never be accepted as trutrans on the internet
I think I am a trutrans, from what I read.

>would always be a freak / hon
Yes, that's why I don't start my treatment.

>inb4 "you can't repress forever"
I'm losing it. I just want to shout for everyone to hear that I'm a girlll.

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>>7535955
Tfw everyone in this thread is probably 20 or younger

>>7541747
no, thats r/trans mod who waited till something like 33 before transitioning
Im older

>>7541842
I'm not, then again I'm not quite repressing because I've been taking hormones for years.

I have a few things that make me unsure if I am trans, but I'm going to repress for lyfe. The surgery is absolutely horrendous and I don't want to be a freak.

>>7541922
>The surgery is absolutely horrendous

Oddly I have only seen this meme on 4chan and have never seen actual proof of this.

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>>7536750
Well, it started when I was a boy, I saw some girls walking, and started to walk like them instinctively.

My father repressed me and stuff, I tried to act more "manly", I had to force it a little bit. Never really like to fight, or confrontation, somewhat passive.

Animes with girls made me feel bad, to point of crying, constant feeling there was something wrong with me.

It was my dysphoria feelings triggering.

When I was a teenager i was felt there was something wrong with me, I really, really had a problem with my hip, I thought that it was wrong and it was suposed to be "larger". Even though i knew it was developing health.

I let my hair grow, saying that I really like rock, but in reality, It just made me more girly, and I really like that feeling.

To date, and to seduce girls was strange and felt wrong, but I do like girls.

After my teenager years was a downhill, I started to daydream a lot about being a girl, doing girly stuff, having awesome friends, a social life, feel happness, but I was always sad and stuff.

I really, really like bows and really want to use it someday, but it won't happen.

Today I'm obsessed with being a girl. My only hope is for science advance so much that I will be able to change my bone structure and genetics. If not for that, I would probably be depressed or have commited suicide.

>>7536516

You are the FIRST person that thinks like me when it comes to science.

I do believe that in 50 years it will be possible, if you can live for more 50 years, not only you will be able to fix yourself but also be young again!

I'm sure I will be a girl in the future, thanks to science and future technology.

Just carry on, and try to have as much money as possible, so we can start the treatment right when it is available.

http://www.futuretimeline.net/21stcentury/2060-2069.htm#longevity
http://www.futuretimeline.net/21stcentury/2050-2059.htm#billion-brains-supercomputer
http://www.futuretimeline.net/21stcentury/2050-2059.htm#designer-babies
http://www.businessinsider.com/googles-chief-futurist-thinks-we-could-start-living-forever-by-2029-2016-4

>>7541940
>My only hope is for science advance so much that I will be able to change my bone structure and genetics.

I'll be honest with you. That kind of technology probably won't be readily available for at least another century. Why take the chance when you can transition?

You sound like you're in your 20s. That's still young enough to get good results. I know 4chan likes to say anyone older than 18 is destined to be a hon, but that's ridiculous. 18-30 is a really good range to start.

>>7541858
Oh, I thought she looked familiar.

>>7541986
I'm going to be pretty bitter if gender gets abolish and we're all AI in the matrix before getting to be a girl is possible.

>>7541933
I'm not talking about mtf, mtf surgery is pretty decent all things considered.

>>7542013
Why can't you be a girl in the matrix senpai?

>>7542006
Because I will never be a pretty girl, I'll be a hon and not passable.

>>7542027
I can I suppose but at that point everyone is anything. It's just avatars on a forum. I'm not really a pretty girl, I'm just an AI like every other with a cute anime avatar. I can be that right now.

>>7542078
if matrix becomes real where everyone could pick any gender half the men would become hot transbians desu
AGP is totally normal

You're only young once.

At least get halfway and feel like a girl with a big man pounding you

>>7538944
I'm almost 5'4 but I feel this. Why would anyone want a dickless manlet when there are handsome cis men with everything I can offer and more

>>7542212
Aren't leg extension surgeries a thing these days? I hear phallo is getting better, too.

>>7542148
>half the men would become hot transbians desu
I'll be part of the other half. The hot bi/str8 chicks.

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>>7542212

>>7542251
accurate

>>7542251
Replace "no penis" with "AGP" and it works the other way too!

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>>7542276
yeah I actually done that

>>7542276
lmaoing my ass off

>>7542294
shoo shoo spooky blanchard

This intense feeling of never been loved once in life is killing me. My teenagers years, gone, my young adulthood, gone. There is nothing for me anymore.

I'm not a woman, I've never loved, I have no motivation, my career is going downhill. The only thing I have is hope in the future, and that's all.

Agp can be cured if you just become a flaming faggot

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How do I stop trying to be a man? I've identified as ftm for years now. I'll never be a real man and I'm sick of it. How do I stop being dysphoric and deluding myself that I'm male?

>>7543880
You need to start your treatment and don't use mirrors for now. I don't look at mirrors anymore, it helps with dysphoria.

>>7544099
"Treatment"?

>>7538944
>>7542212
>>7543880
if you're ftm and you're on 4chan instead of a female-dominated site, you're trutrans and can't repress

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>>7544194
>if you're ftm and you're on 4chan instead of a female-dominated site, you're trutrans and can't repress

>>7543880
Have you tried taking a dick?

I'll fuck you if you want. You have to be ok with me crying afterwards though and crossdressing during and calling me my girl name. Bonus if you can supply girl clothes.

>>7544433
>have you tried having sex with a girl?

You people are really bad at repressing lol

>>7535955
to much of a coward to express how i really feel, will never get a boyfriend and will continue to lie to myself until it goes away.

why is this so hard

>>7544490
Considering I'm posting on /tttt/, is that really a surprise?

Hello girls, soon:

http://hplusmagazine.com/2014/05/08/total-gender-change-within-decade/

https://singularityhub.com/2016/04/10/this-3d-printed-prosthetic-ovary-restores-female-fertility-in-mice/

Science will save us.

>>7544676
Where do I find the sugar daddy to pay for this for me?

>>7544714
I think it will be ultra cheap.

>>7544791
At least that means I can get it done before finding a boyfriend.

>>7544676
I still don't get why you wouldn't just start hormones now tho

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>>7544513
It doesn't have to be

>>7544802
Because I will look like a guy with female clothes.

>>7543273
>having career at all
>still having hope in the future
you are good

>never loved
how is that possible, are you aromantic or spent all years away from people?

>>7543688
it can be 'cured' if you become depressed and asexual

>>7543880
you sound like a real man
>>7544194
this

>>7544676
and we will be fucking old when this tech actually becomes available for use, it feels even worse when you know you miss the opportunity cause you were born too early

>>7545230
>and we will be fucking old when this tech actually becomes available for use,
Maybe we'll get to be young again too?

>>7545033
How old are you lol? This thread is ridic. If you've been on hormones for 10 years, you'll obviously have a better base when this tech becomes available.

>>7545245
>If you've been on hormones for 10 years, you'll obviously have a better base when this tech becomes available.
So it's not just going to somehow turn you into a real girl regardless of your body before after all!

In that case, my body might be too male for it to help anyway, or even if it helps I'll be a hon regardless!

>>7545294
>avoids question about age
>types like an afab

Holy shit stop repressing

>>7541842
26

I accepted I was gay
I have a boyfriend now

>>7545301
How can you tell if someone types like an afab?

>>7545245
Late Twenties.

>>7545294
It is not needed to start the treatment, but I'm not sure how they are going to deal with the bones.

You can't just go exchanging your bones without dying, but they can fix all the rest.

>>7545185
Away as possible from people. Always trying to find a way to fix myself, before enter in a meaningful relationship but never been able to.

>>7545243
Only if you are golden 1%, us plebs will never be allowed eternal youth.

>>7545797
As far as I researched, it is actually cheap to print a 3D organ. This tech is crazy.

But I didn't find anything about bones, which is pretty important too.

\if you are thinking about crazy techs like nanotech, to change bone format... it will take, at least, 50 years, if ever.

At least this kind of research always give me hope.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/06/160615151711.htm

>>7545781
>Always trying to find a way to fix myself, before enter in a meaningful relationship
and this is why we are forever alone
Im so insecure I dont think anyone could ever love me or just not judge me for the failure, shitty personality and the freak I am

>>7545797
no worries, i'll just wait until soma and then live forever as a cute girl in my dreams

>>7545843
Coincidentally last night I had a dream of driving around the city and trying to get new kind of drugs that would make me a happy woman instantly.
In reality I still cant get over my fears and try HRT (Im pretty sure it will only ruin my health)

>>7535955
meh
I tried killing myself and failed and then thought "I guess either I keep trying until I get it right or I attempt to transition and kms later if it doesn't work out"

fast forward 15 months and I'm a total fucking hon but my dysphoria isn't quite as bad desu, not enough to kill myself over

I did try to kms again the other day but it was because of unrelated financial issues this time, not to do with being a hon

>>7545957
why is everyone on this board so fucking depressed i mean me too thanks

>>7545972
GID is an extremely dangerous congenital disorder that kills many people who have it, why do you think?

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>>7545972
Cause the happy ones are socializing with friends and lovers instead of lamenting here?

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>>7545972
4chan in general has a very miserable populace.

>>7539422
what movie is that?

>>7545797
How do I get a golden 1% sugar daddy to take me with him?

>>7546886
>repressers thinking like females

Oh my god.

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Is suicide an acceptable option yet?

>>7546895
I'm only repressing doing anything about it, not feeling like a girl.

>>7535955
I had hope, then realise I wasn't even accepted in the trans comunity.
I guess suicide really is the best option.

>>7547412
there is no trans community only a bunch of groups and its last thing you should care about

>>7546835
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1967651/

>>7547412
Why weren't you accepted?

>>7547486
Because I'm a hon, people can't be honest with me as not to hurt me.
Maybe it's just me being retarded, but I end up being overly negative and then people start to hate me.

>>7535955
>>7535968
>>7538232
>>7546908
>05
OK so I'm having a hard time understanding. I'm a very happy cis male, but if I was a woman right now, I would rather be make but probably just try my best at being a woman in life. There is more to life than what gender you are. Even if you were able to transition and pass perfectly, you are.still you and still have to create a successful life for yourself. So why not do that now instead of an hero? Suicide just seems like a terrible option even if you are never happy with your own gender.

>>7547566
>Even if you were able to transition and pass perfectly, you are.still you and still have to create a successful life for yourself.
no, i could have a husband.

>>7547566
What the fuck is my success good for if I don't want to be me? Give me all the gold in the world, an unstoppable army, a harem of men and women, the power over life and death, I'd trade it all to be able to look at myself in the mirror without wanting to claw my own eyes out. If you've never felt like an alien in your own skin how could you possibly understand how meaningless it makes life?

>>7544433
No, I've never had sex with someone with a dick.

And that doesn't sound fun for you...

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>>7548863
Repression sure seems to be going well for you.

I did not transition, but I have gender dysphoria, whenever I have a discution or get a little bit mad, the feeling of wanting to transition gets extremely strong and I lose all focus thinking that I should transition anyway, because my life is shit already.

Anyone has this feeling?

>>7548933
Just transition, senpai!

>>7548893
>And that doesn't sound fun for you...
The hugging and sleeping side by side afterwards will make it all worthwhile. Then in the morning we can pretend to be cis again.

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>>7548950

>>7546908
You look like great guy is joke that you're supposed to be a woman but dress like dude?

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>don't think transition would actually improve my life (on top of not being sure if i'm trans)
>can't just try hrt and see because i'm ftm
Thought I could do partial transition but I don't think any doctors do it here

>>7536619
TERF rhetoric just makes me want to transition cause every point against MtFs applies to me (I meet a ton of transbian stereotypes etc.) even if they claim it doesn't. Like if I can't be a real woman I might as well become a fake man since I apparently don't belong either way
>>7545301
I thought she types like trump.

>>7549311
kek

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If I successfully force myself to repress my ftm feelings, how do I start repressing my feelings for girls?

>>7552832
Buying a vibrator

>>7552832
Why not just be lesbian? As a repressed mtf I'm just going to be bi.

>>7535955
just transition, you can always suicide later if you don't like it

>>7554098
A huge reason I'm repressing is so I don't have to cut my family out of my life. They'd hate me for being lesbian too

>>7552832
you don't need to
being an attractive butch lesbian is easy mode

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I DO NOT WANT A DICK
I DO NOT WANT A DICK
I DO NOT WANT A DICK
I DO NOT WANT A DICK

VAGINA
VAGINA
VAGINA
VAGINA

>>7554794
repression gen is going well i see

>>7554761
Call yourself bi but still be lesbian if they helps?

Move out and don't let them know who you're dating?

I don't think family is a good reason to repress.

>>7554761
Just don't tell them? I mean how would they find out. Especially when girls get pretty intimate with their friends so they wouldn't suspect you just for hanging out with a girl a lot


Or just stay single and fill your needs through other means (porn, close friendships, escapist stuff like anime etc.)
My family is LGBT friendly and I go this way + occasionally sleeping (well just exchanging oral and naked hugs really) with my male ex because we're both too autistic to get laid with a girl and incredibly desperate

Escorts are a thing too and if you live in a bigger city you're not likely to be found out, but it gets expensive
Alternatively date one of those MtFs that take HRT in the closet and let her be your girlfriend in private and boyfriend in public, that could work if you can get over the fact that she's likely to be unpassable. But HRT alone makes a difference imo so it could work and it would definitely suit your needs better than a regular guy

>>7554870
I would hope to be married in the future, or live with a girl. They're already suspicious

I don't mind dating a trans girl, but I don't want to hurt her by making her present as male.

Raises hand!!!

>>7555866
i don't get the problem. just move out

>>7554238
Thats the plan. I mean
>suicide later
I have 2 years left till Im 40

Where could I talk to someone who has a clue about gender identity problems but wont push me into HRT and transition like every tranny or these 'gender therapists'?

>>7535955
Repressing.
Bi FTM. I don't want to transition because too short, won't be accepted, etc.
Will probably die alone anyway.
I'm going to go to the Himalayas to kill myself.

>>7558486
TERF friendly therapists when?

>>7558613
>I'm going to go to the Himalayas to kill myself.
Fuck that, go to the Himalayas and become a monk.
Forget about your past and future, and all concepts of gender and physical self. Live as one with the earth and nature, and find peace through ascension, not death.

>>7545366
I'm thinking about doing this, but I am obsessed with girly clothing, especially corsets.

>>7558613
What would you rather be, a manlet or a dead woman?
FTMs rarely end up not passing. You'd be doing yourself a great disservice if you didn't at least try.

>>7560106
Considering this for later in life, but for now it's time to ride that dysphoria train into oblivion

post more funny trans memes like the one in the op

At this point I'm basically resigned to "boyfriend knows I'm trans and will never transition, so he just uses feminine pronouns in private and holds me when the dysphoria gets severe" mode.

As much as it hurts it probably feels better than being aggressively glared at by every single person for the rest of my life.

This in reverse >>7560374

>>7563011
pls

>>7563096
how do you acquire an understanding boyfriend?

>>7550453
i'm also a trans guy who acted like a transbian before i realized what was going on
that combined with 4chan as opposed to tumblr or something else may as well be proof you're trutrans
unless you're super feminine, transition will probably at least 'not worsen' your life

I used to be a trip on /mtfg/. I truly thought I was trans, but after a lot of soul searching I realised that I wasn't and that I was simply grasping for any excuse to explain why I was such a social failure in my teen years. I would take aspects of what I thought dysphoria was, and try to look for that in my childhood and teenagehood.

Now I really regret tripping and wish I never got involved in this trans shit. I worry about people I know irl finding out about this phase of mine and then assuming I'm a massive fag. My only hope is that the current archives will eventually get deleted, or that no one will ever look for my posts.

For those of you that aren't sure if you're trans or not, do a lot of thinking before you do anything drastic. I'm not an expert of anything but you might have some paranoia and regrets like I do.

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>>7569059
Does your trip start with S or A by any cahnce?
How did you determine you we re not trans? I'm very conflicted and a complete failure at life, I dont know if depression and loneliness made me belive I'm trans and be better of as a woman or its the other way around and depressed cause repressed.
Not going public or namefaggin anyway, Iv always been very insecure and not open about my life even to my parents and friends, I value anonymity and privacy too much.

>>7569155
>does your trip start with S or A by any chance

Forgive me but I don't really want to give out any information.

>how did you determine you were not trans

I did lots of soul searching. I spent months just thinking about it to myself. I also picked up new hobbies and just did the things that I enjoyed. As time went on, I began to realize that me "feeling like a girl" was really just a phase.

I've never truly identified as a girl, and only wanted to be feminine at that point in time. It was just a phase, but the internet and modern liberalism convinced me that it wasn't. They told me that if I didn't transition, I would become one of those 50 year old turbo hons, and I nearly fell for it completely.
I'm not saying that trans people don't exist, because as I've seen, a lot of people do seem to have real dysphoria, however the trans community is extremely skilled at convincing people to "transition", whether they actually are trans or not.

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I DONT WANT TO BE A GIRL I JUST WANT TO LOOK LIKE ONE

>>7569298
wrong thread, faggo. /agpgen/ -->

>>7569235
No worries, I fully understand if you want to remain anon.

So you don't have dysphoria and thus occupying yourself with activities could give you fulfilling life and you wouldn't worry about your gender anymore?
Do you still want to be fem and keep masculinization away or don't mind growing as a man at all?

>trans community is extremely skilled at convincing people to "transition"
That is very true "just transition senpai!" I'd want to talk with more neutral people and find some other ways to deal with my gender problems. I left this place and avoided everything trans related for half year and tried to forget everything but its not as easy.

>>7569312
>so you don't have dysphoria and thus occupying yourself with activities could give you a fulfilling life

Sort of. More like occupying myself with activities made me completely forget about the trans stuff, and thus helped me realise that I wasn't trans.

>do you still want to be fem and keep masculinazation away or don't mind growing as a man at all?

I guess I wouldn't really mind becoming more masc anymore. I've even been lifting lately.

>I left this place and avoided everything trans related

How did you feel during this time? Were you depressed the entire time that you left?

In case I don't reply later, I wish you luck senpai. I don't know you personally, I don't know how you look, and truly feel about all this, but I wish you luck and hope that you find the right solution.

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>>7569411
I kinda get that too, and I wasn't really bothered with dysphoria when I had active life and didn't mind being a man. Still hated my manly features and wanted to be andro though. And some other issues.

I've been depressed for a while or I might be bipolar-II since I get periods of feeling fine. I barely remember last summer, or the whole year for that matter, I stayed home doing nothing. And I got this nagging idea in my mind that HRT might make my life better or at least make me feel less shitty about myself and maybe there is hope... But I know I have so many other real problems and transition only adds much more.

Thank you for the kind words and support. I whish you best of luck and improving your life too.

>>7569304
you meant femgen, right hun?

>>7568625
I have no fucking idea, he found me.

>>7569059
>I was simply grasping for any excuse to explain why I was such a social failure in my teen years

I'm still trying to understand whether I'm actually trans or if this is my problem. I didn't have any trans thoughts as a kid/early teen, apart from a fear of growing facial hair/masculinizing and wanting to be smaller than other boys if those even count as trans thoughts. Even though I'm attracted to girls, I've never been interested in dating them. I've even been asked out on a date once and I shut it down after one date because I was uncomfortable. Ever since that I've spent ages looking stuff up trying to figure out what's wrong with me.

One night it struck me that I'd feel much better had I been born a girl and I felt really sad when I thought how I'll never be one. I thought that I could never be trans at that time and shut the thought down the day after. I spent like a year trying to be gay even though I am not because at least I could be feminine. I enjoyed attributing feminine stuff to myself. I even had a dream in which I turned into a girl once, and I was so happy. Once, my friends spent one day calling me by a female name as a joke, and it made feel happy and warm inside. Eventually I cut the bs and started exploring being trans again. It's been 4-5 months now and I'm soul searching trying to understand whether or not I'm trans. I don't think I experience dysphoria so why the hell am I so obsessed with this?

I'm 21 and (fortunately) have no facial hair yet. (probably klinefelter's, idc) Sometimes I contemplate trying to act manly as possible, going to a doctor and getting testosterone and forgetting all about this, I don't know.

>be me
>dressed in secret since childhood
>Always thought about being a girl
>Repress because conservative southern family
>fast fwd to 30s
>On grindr past 6 months in boy mode
>decent attention, a few hookups
>decide to open new account as CD
>first time trying wig/makeup/shave/etc
>get SO MUCH ATTENTION, OMG
>some people wanna fuck, some want coffee, some want relationship

either grindr is full of chasers, or I'm much more attractive as a girl. This isn't helping!!!

>>7576664
>some want coffee, some want relationship
do they really tho? or is it just as an excuse to meet before fucking?

guys or girls or both?

>>7576687
I've had girls msg me to have fun & hangout but that wasn't what I was referencing with that statement.

I'm pretty blunt in my profile about only being there for sex. Most are msging me to fuck. lol a few wanted me to teach them to dress up.

I've shut down probably half a dozen guys that weren't looking for 'right now' in the last week.

>>7576727
>lol a few wanted me to teach them to dress up.
helping another guy cd just feels gross. a cute cd helping me feels ok tho. is this cd heterosexuality?

>>7576754
i agree!! i told them no thx quickly.

>cd heterosexuality?
interesting concept to look at it that way

i have to admit... when i hooked up as a girl - it was heaven!! he was a man, i was his girl and he treated me as such with his words and touch, it felt so right...

>>7576811
>it was heaven!!
>it felt so right...
this must be how girls feel. i have no idea why guys hate the idea of it so much.

>>7576860
>this must be how girls feel

that's what i thought. I'm very open & had various relationships and experiences over the years but this was by FAR, the most mind-blowing.

>>7576916
please describe the feeling! i don't have a bf.

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>>7576811
I'm a cis gay guy and I dressed up in drag on Halloween once (and I looked really pretty!) and I met a superhunk Chad who was on E and he took me home and fucked me all night like I was the last woman on earth and it was the most amazing experience. Mind-blowing really. It was then that I really started to understand how lucky beautiful women are. He treated me like a goddess and the sex was amazing. We hooked up a few times after that when I was dressed as a boy and it was just okay. I was hoping he would ask me to dress up again but he kind of just ghosted me and I didn't want to stalk him so... it ended.
But I will always remember that night.
But I enjoy being a man and I think trying to look like a woman every day would be way too much effort for me.
>inb4 "start taking hormones"

>>7577136
>and fucked me all night like I was the last woman on earth and it was the most amazing experience. Mind-blowing really. It was then that I really started to understand how lucky beautiful women are.
describe it.

>youth, no memory
>16 and up not happy, it's probably because I'm a bad person, no thoughts about sexuality even
>long hair since forever, get bullied about it
>fuck it grow beard and I'll tell people I'm a dwarf
>am now scrawny jesus
>fuck it, beards are icky Imma shave and go to that con crossplayed as mami
>after the con trying to be androgynous
>just look terrible since I don't take care of myself
>get fit, get better, grow beard back
>fuck are thoses shoulders too large? I feel gross

am bad at everything, even greentexting

>>7535955
I am. The only reason I don't transition is professional (I would lose my job) and family-related (it'd break my parents' heart).

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>>7577222
Well, basically he was the type of guy who I've been lusting after my whole life but have never been able to get because I'm just an average skinny gay guy with no game but when I was dressed as a girl I just felt like a completely different person so I was more flirty and outgoing I guess. He is this tall (6'4") muscular football player type with a hairy chest and a huge (probably 9x7) dick and giant hands and he kept slapping my ass and grabbing my ass in that way that his fingers were touching my asshole through my clothes and he kept telling me how good I looked (I had seen him before when I was dressed as a guy and he never even looked at me) but that night he was chasing me and grabbing me and kissing me and telling me he was going to fuck me and tear my cute little ass open and that is what I had waited my whole life to hear from a guy but it had never actually happened before then.
So we get to his place and he plays it slow and gentlemanly and just kisses me and cups my face with his huge hands and stares into my eyes and keeps telling me how beautiful I am and then he just picks me up and carries me into his bedroom and places me on the bed like I don't weigh anything and his huge muscular body on top of me (I can still smell his amazing smell which was sweat and Terre d'Hermes - I looked in his medicine cabinet) and then he just started to undress me and he sucked my dick for a few minutes then he took off his clothes while I watched and seeing his giant hard dick pop out of his briefs almost made me cum. Then he made me try to suck his dick for a minute or two but it was too big to fit in my mouth really so he just lifted up my legs and fingered my hole for a few minutes before putting on some lube on his dick and on my hole and then he basically tore me open for about 10 minutes before he pulled out and shot a huge load all over my face. Sorry, I'm not very good at writing porn.

>>7576664
just patriarchy in action

>>7576664
also
>coffee, some want relationship
fuck, now I wan to be a girl even more, maybe I wouldnt be fucking lonley

ah who am I kidding

>>7576811
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck


kill me

>>7577406
>Sorry, I'm not very good at writing porn.
don't worry, that was great. what did it feel like? to be like a beautiful woman?

>>7575941
You're trans. Your story sounds just like mine.

>>7577538
I felt weak and fragile and vulnerable in contrast to his dominating, overpowering strength.
I felt cared-for and loved.
I felt safe and fulfilled.
I felt owned, like I had a purpose and that my purpose was to give him pleasure.
I felt like the perfect complement to his manliness, the yin to his yang.
And I just realized that this sounds really sexist.
Sorry Lesbians.
Women are equal and powerful too.
But for me as a "woman" I enjoyed feeling helpless and dominated and providing "service" if you will.

>>7577586
>And I just realized that this sounds really sexist.
don't worry. it sounds really hot.

anyway, cis girls obviously like feeling that way too.

>>7577586
no need for excuses, every woman knows and love this, even vocal fembitches
thats why its almost impossible to find women doms who are not just faking it for money

>>7577586
>I felt owned, like I had a purpose and that my purpose was to give him pleasure.

I'll never understand people who enjoy having this mindset

>>7577624
You get to feel loved and fulfilled.

>>7577616
>every woman knows and love this, even vocal fembitches
then why are they still bitches pretending to have it hard?

>>7577637
>owned
>loved
what?

its such a weak and submissive mindset i cant believe people are actually okay with wanting that. to each his own i guess

>>7577637
is it social conditioning that I cant accept this as a guy from a woman, but I want to experience this as a woman from a guy? I had girl who took lead or took care of me and I cant say I enjoyed it
or is it cause Im a tranny (Im not!)

>>7577687
cause they want their cake and eat it too, all the rights and privileges with none of the responsibilities
and its sooo common to say one thing but actually want the other for women
dress like a slut to get all the attention and compliments and then cry "harassment" and "rape"

also women are easily brainwashed and buy into feminist propaganda

>>7577694
What kind of love do you like that doesn't involve feeling weak and submissive?

>>7577698
Social conditioning or just expectations. Girls who take the lead most of the time are one thing, but girls who want to experience the other side of >>7577586 are rarer.

>>7577698
>is it social conditioning that I cant accept this as a guy from a woman, but I want to experience this as a woman from a guy?

yes. you don't believe its possible for a woman to take the lead over a man, that or it enrages you

>>7577741
>to take the lead over a man
Maybe if he thinks or himself as a girl and imagines it as lesbian dominance he'll like it?

>>7535955
i feel bad for being a "cis" bi guy and be depressed not wanting to come out to family when you guys have it way worse :v

>>7577794
don't feel bad, just lucky!

>"cis"
what do you mean?

>>7577807
>>"cis"
>what do you mean?

google it, jesus

>>7577560
What makes it so obvious that I am though?

>>7577849
was talking about the scare quotes...

made it sound like you were repressed too.

>>7577745
erm not sure about that, I used to imagine being a lesbian, but lately all I want to be is a woman with boyfriend
and it really really hurts knowing that I could never experience it, I never felt this desperate and sad about not having a gf

>>7543880
>>7552832

Still dealing with this. Even worse being surrounded by family right now. Probably going to end it this week

>go to sleep because nothing to do and don't want to be alive
>wake up
>still alive
>go back to sleep
>wake up again
>still alive

i'm really considering shooting myself soon

>>7578060
So when you say...
>or is it cause Im a tranny (Im not!)
?

>>7578106
>go to sleep because nothing to do
maybe find something nice to do?

>>7578148
Im just a mentally ill agp

>>7578257
i hate how agps get shamed and dismissed here.

>>7578260
here and everywhere

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>Repress for years thinking it was a high school phase.
>Very right winged town and catholic family so I had to hide it well and their was little help
>Decide to try doing what my parents had layed out for me
>Drop outta college and start working full time in order not to get kicked outta the house
>All this caused me to put everything else on the back burner
>This whole time I knew something was wrong but kept band aiding it with weed and booze
>end up having a complete mental break down and quit my job
>still no idea whats wrong, take this time to contemplate everything that had transpired in those short years.
>bring up problems with female friend and talk till I break down crying let out that I think I'm trans
>start wearing girls cloths, not censoring how I feel or act
>started taking care of body more, completely shaving, doing nails
>anxiety starts dropping, start feeling more self confident and content with who i am and that I actually have some control now.

Still constantly hating my self for repressing.
Hoping I can get lucky with hrt though as I have always been mis gendered and being 5'4 helps.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bF3Z2aOUUZg

And I don’t pretend to remember
No I won’t relent on who I am
No these words aren’t there to defend her
Though I am old, I am told that I’m the man

>took a 'Should I transition?' test
>No, you shouldn't transition!

welp, back to drinking and repressing

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>>7583090
Get a boyfriend

>>7583113
I wish, too insecure and broken to get into relationship

>>7577855
>Deep sadness about how you weren't born a girl
>Lived as a gay man for a year as an opportunity to be feminine
>Felt happy after a dream where you had a chance to be girl
>Felt happy to be called by a girl's name
Cis people don't feel this way, anon.

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>tfw not transitioning is because you have to wipe your ass more thorougly to take daddy dick


Fuck it im top agp ngl tbqh

>>7535955
I started at 18, and am killing self. Dont transition nothing will work out.

>>7584524
What went wrong with transition?

>>7584970
Is this a real question? lol

>>7585017
Yes!

>>7584195
But equally, you wouldn't get diagnosed with GID and recommended for transition with just those and not severe physical dysphoria.

>>7584524
Please tell your story

This disease has completly fucked my head! Where the fuck did this come from!!!!!!

>tfw I want to serve as inspo for all of you to stop repressing, but I started at 15 so I'll be disregarded

>>7587119
how did you start so young? ;_;

i won't disregard you. please say what you want to.

>>7587361
>how did you start so young? ;_;
S E L F M E D
E
L
F
M
E
D

>>7587361
Yeah I self-medded. I just tried to make an inspiring post in another thread: >>7588345

Basically, you just need to try your very best to be yourself. Thinking it's impossible will be what MAKES it impossible in the end. So don't fall for the trap of perfection, nobody is perfect, not me, not people who transitioned earlier than me, not cis women. Just try your very best to be yourself.

Hiding your true self for the sake of what others might think, not even trying because you're afraid you might fail, is the very worst thing you can do. Stagnation is the worst thing that can happen to a person. If you do that, then nobody in your life, even the people you love, will ever get to see the real you, will ever get to see you at your very best!

You can't repress forever, it will start killing you on the inside, and then it might actually kill you. It's better to start now before you miss out on what could be the very best years of your life. I can't make any promises about how you'll look or even how you'll feel, but I can promise you it will be much better than repressing your true self. I promise.

>>7588513
I'll just be my true self as a faggy guy rather than a hon.

>>7588513
tfw have stagnated for decade
its too late

>>7588513
>tfw want to "me myself" but the obvious man face would make it really awkward

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Does it count if I am not socially transitioning (and plan to never transition), only taking hormones?

I mean I am still a hon/man but at least I feel a little bit better about myself overall.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJFtYPsnTsA


You can beat repression and transition by sculpting yourself a beautiful male body. That gay men adore. And embrace masculinity with flamboyancy
Being a submissive who is subject to a dominant male will allow you to "feel like a girl" without taking hormones or ruining your life.

You will learn to crave the word "good boy" not "good girl"


You will be fufilled and you have a far easier time than trannies.

This technique is especially helpful to those who won't pass but are still attractive as males.

>>7591150
>You will learn to crave the word "good boy" not "good girl"
I can still ask him to call me "good girl"

Are there dominant gays who act straight who still like flamboyant subs?

>>7591154
Yeah. He's my bf.

>>7590697
>>7590816
>>7590870
I'm sorry guys. :(

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPR7S-qo8Ag

Dysphoria is cured when the male and female aspects of your personality are reconciled and evolve into a stronger gay personality (which will essentially be you the same as before. But without dysphoria)

>>7591274
I've actually started to think this myself after feeling less unhappy about being male by being more feminine/androgynous.

>>7590876
It's good that it helps you. Not sure it does for me.

>>7591150
>flamboyancy
is a shit tho, caricature of femininity
and Im not truly gay, I just want to be in female role, but its socially unacceptable for men

>>7591454
>>flamboyancy
>is a shit tho, caricature of femininity
>and Im not truly gay, I just want to be in female role, but its socially unacceptable for men
It might be close enough to really being in the female role. Unless you pass you can't get the female role 100% by transition anyway.

>>7591274
I literally did this to my brain I still find myself suffering from bdd when I see a boy that looks exceptionally girly however I also take hormones but at a very low dose.

>>7591454
just find a nice dominant boyfriend

You'd be amazed how little you care when you have their support

>>7591511
maybe... but easier said than done, finding a good relationship is hard for anyone
where did you find it?

> had a dream where I want thru surgery to make my face look more feminine
> actively chose this in dream
> looked pretty afterward, even dyed my hair and shit
> looked so damn pretty
Why did I feel so happy about that

>>7592354
Cause you've been conditioned by the societal idolization of female beauty and project it on yourself.
Do you really think you are trans, would you agree to be an average woman? Or only want to be pretty?

>>7592481
>Do you really think you are trans
Not that anon but I don't think there is "trans"

>>7592481
Only pretty, I think, but I've been doing some soul searching the last day or two. I dislike the labels on sexuality and the walls people put up between them, because it's a smiding scale, really, but I'm getting there.

>>7592862
I hate how I cant be a pretty boy cause its considered to be faggy and inappropriate for men

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>tfw repressing got too hard so now you are taking hormones to turn into some half man half woman freak just so that you dont feel like you want to die everyday

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>>7594574
>finally don't feel like I want to die every day
>just most of the time now
At least I improved!

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>>7594606
I improved too. So much that I feel like I can get off the hormones and go back to full repression. But that's probably gonna make me feel like shit again.

>>7594238
Yeah. Tbqh if I had female friends still I'd probably go buy a bunch of makeup and nail polish and shit and have them help me go to town, just to try it out, but I don't. Feelsbad.wav

>>7594772
I did that once with a female friend and ended up even more dysphoric because all my manly features stood out.

>>7584227
Maki is masc as fuarrrk anyway who are you kidding?

>>7594772
You can still buy it and try doing it yourself at home, but most likely
it wont look good on your manly face and you will only feel worse
you cant go out like that

How do you find motivation to go about your life when everything seems pointless?
>do nails on the right hand
>cba do the left one
>its ugly but who cares, Im ugly and no one will love me

>>7587119
fuck off

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>20
>6'0
>17.5-19 inch shoulders
The shoulders are what really stops me from going through with it. They feel like almost all bone too.

>>7602498
Leave this place - its full of lies and tranny propaganda that will make you doubt yourself.

You are a strong man and can overcome anything.
Find what makes you happy in life and live it.

>>7602498
Dude you're fine. Whether you wind up passing or not the hormones will make you feel better. It will stop your masculinization and make your body more tolerable.

If you don't wind up passing you could wind up in the femboy zone, which is really nice on its own.

Without taking them you'll just wind up feeling worse and worse as time goes on, and maybe wind up taking the hormones at 25 with even less potential. You're fine nigga. Just pop the hormones.

>>7602498
Could be worse, you could be like me 5'11" with 22" shoulders. Granted they'd shrink some on HRT. Obviously you can see why i'm in the repression camp.

>>7602724
>just pop hormones
and ruin your dick, and increase your chances of cancer and heart problems

>>7603390
>cancer and heart problems

Literally what.

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I'm committing suicide
I'm holding all of you accountable, every last /lgbt/ person, you're all responsible for my death. Every cute gay couple that I've witnessed sharing a kiss, every happy pretty early transitioner, every male who was genetically privileged with soft feminine features, you're all accomplices in my self-murder. The torture that you have subjected me to for 22 slow years is finally coming to an end. God, what a relief, it's finally ending.

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>Go to the gym
>killer workout
>come home
>cuddled by my bf, become totally submissive in his control
>feel nervous, stammer my words and feel so safe around him
>get fucked silly
>fall asleep with his arms locked around me
>bliss

I win dysphoria. I win.

>>7603472
You can still be gay

Jeez

>>7603506
Cute story anon, seriously. Its good to hear you beat it. Does your bf know what you used to suffer from?

>>7603537
i cant stand looking at my big dumb fucking male nigger ape tier face dude
fuck life, what a fucking joke

>>7603569
Yes. It makes our relationship very open. I can be ultra submissive and sensitive and he gets to be as dominant as he wants.
Treats me like a princess and helps me love being me as a male.

>>7603570
I'm pretty masc myself. I'm still the sub bottom

Why do people pretend to be fags here? Aren't most MtFs lesbians?

>>7603537
>>7603600
I fucked a boy in his feminine butt though
I'd be cool with just being gay if I could be a cute campy femboy but that's not me
I really wish I could be like that, but I can't and I have no fucking personality and I have the most forgettable genericwhitemale sociopathic serial killer face imaginable
i really just need to fucking kill myself dude, that's what it comes down to, i'm trash, people who look like me used to scare the shit out of me and deeply disgust me when I was a kid, i'm one of those guys

>>7603610
i'm one of those premium wintergreen grizzly long cut looking motherfuckers

>>7603610
M8 Im no femboy.
I go to the gym

I still shave my body hair though and I still get bent over and fucked silly like the sub I am though.

Just find a guy you like and just open up and be relaxed about how you feel. My bf could have a 10/10 twink if he wanted. But he has me because we can talk to each other normally and my personality is so submissive and attractive to him.

Remember. Gay guys like men. Chasers like femmes.

>>7603700
dude i don't care about any of that, i feel fucking disgusting

>>7603472
>blames every male who has it better
>no mention of females

>>7603712
Well what wrong?

Are you overweight? You can lose weight.

>>7603592
>Treats me like a princess and helps me love being me as a male.
how girly does he treat you? how much do you treat him like a woman treats a man?

what does he think about your trans stuff?

>>7603700
>My bf could have a 10/10 twink if he wanted. But he has me because we can talk to each other normally and my personality is so submissive and attractive to him.
>Remember. Gay guys like men. Chasers like femmes.
but i want to be femme. i don't look it and i want to have a bf i talk to normally but i want to be like a gf to him too.

>>7603727
have i not written it out clearly in my earlier posts?
also damn..
holy shit, i know we're anonymous and you know nothing about my life but that fucking hurts
i was an obese child, i weighed over 200 lbs at age 12, i was already lurking /b/ and stuff at that point and was aware of trannies and especially loved seeing timeline threads, i didn't manage to lose enough weight until i was like 18 and at that point test had already fucked my life up beyond recognition

you guys are so genetically privileged, it's like we're living in two different worlds

>>7603730
He holds my hand, holds me by the hip and even if people are nearby I just give in to his dominance. He's a really confident gay and I'm very shy and previously closeted.

I'm always the little spoon, falling asleep in his arms or on his chest. And the way he kisses me.

I always like to make his post workout meals, and we go shopping together.
And I ride on the back of his motorbike

He was very supportive, and equally supportive when I decided I was simply happy being a gay guy and helped neutralise a lot of my self hate.

>want to be femme
Then be femme

Just don't worry if you don't look it. After all. It's only for you and you're bf to enjoy.

Seriously. Me being a femmy bottom queer turns my bf on so much.

>>7603759
I'm not a tranny. I was an obese child too.
Lost all my weight at 18, got into lifting and tried to force myself to be an alpha and like girls.

You need to start thinking what gay guys find attractive and not what chasers find attractive.

Being an attractive male is not some unachievable dream.

Homosexuality is a lifeboat for trannies who can't transition.

>>7603784
jesus christ fuck off already
just shut up
i'm not going to keep myself alive in a vegetative dissociated state just so i can be fucked by some desperate uggo faggots
i lifted as a teenager
dude you just dont get it
you don't fucking get it what are you doing in this thread?

>>7603777
trips well deserved.

>He's a really confident gay and I'm very shy and previously closeted.
how did you come out? how did you meet him?

>He was very supportive, and equally supportive when I decided I was simply happy being a gay guy and helped neutralise a lot of my self hate.
what did he do about your self hate?

>Just don't worry if you don't look it. After all. It's only for you and you're bf to enjoy.
i know. but i don't want a chaser. i want a gay guy who likes femmes.

do you still want to be a girl now?

>>7603796
Hmm. Maybe you still need time to work out your issues. I did too.
I was the same once. Very angry.
Hug for you. It's not easy.

>>7603806
I've had plenty of time to contemplate my issue, there's no solution, there's really no fixing it, of course i'm angry. Quit it with the condescending tone you're taking you arrogant faggot.
I'm genetic trash, I look fucking disgusting, every waking moment of my life is cringeworthy and disgusting and uncomfortable.

>>7603759
>you guys are so genetically privileged,
you're thinking of cis girls.

>>7603799
We were good friends before and he was openly gay and we got on well.

And I started having feelings for him. So I told him and he accepted and we started dating. I came out when I told people he was my boyfriend.

He helped my self hate by reassuring me I was cute and attractive as a boy, and that I shouldent think of myself as "broken" or needing to be "fixed"

That I didn't need to feminize myself to impress him.

I don't want to be a girl anymore. I'm really happy being a gay sub now.
It really does go away when you are being held in a mans arms and feel completely protected by him.

>>7603825
I'm in another category entirely
you guys actually somewhat resemble females so you can compare yourselves to them
I desperately wish I could be like you

>>7603820
You should use your rage as fuel

>>7603847
for what? a shooting spree?

>>7603831
>That I didn't need to feminize myself to impress him.
i want to be feminine out of agp, not for anyone else.

>I don't want to be a girl anymore. I'm really happy being a gay sub now.
>It really does go away when you are being held in a mans arms and feel completely protected by him.
that's really heartwarming. i hope it works for me too.

>>7603836
wrong.

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>>7603836
>resemble females

Nigga I literally workout and am only emasculated by the fact my bf is a bigger alpha than the one I pretend to be

>>7603868
cool you're a disgusting agp faggot
you should kys too

>>7603606
30% fags, 30% transbians, 30% bisexual filth according to most surveys. And I'm convinced a good portion of 'transbians' are just bisexuals with ptsd from being beta boy punching bags judging by how thirsty they are for tranny and femboy dick.

>>7603877
>30% fags

You mean straight trans women? I'm not memeing so hard that I'm gonna pretend they're actually faggots, they probably pass better than transbians on average.

>And I'm convinced a good portion of 'transbians' are just bisexuals with ptsd from being beta boy punching bags

This is true, and also because they can't get dicked. Most of them would lose to the cock in seconds.

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>>7603860
I still would practice agp. He says I'm welcome to crossdress and dress up for him and we would have a gf roleplay if my dysphoria ever acted up again.

I don't feel the urge though right now. But the thought is nice.

It's not like I have to worry about passing with him

I get dressed up in pretty emasculating male stuff anyway for him

>>7603876
Well duh. But I don't take hormones or present female in public so it's hardly an issue

>>7603890
No I meant homosexual males. This is /repressiongen/ not /hugbox/. If I wanted to validate delusional people I'd go to /mtfgen/. But I'm here because I hate myself and I hate other trannies.

>>7603895
you don't get it at fuckin all man
i am a repressed gay too, i only top, i live vicariously through my feminine partners
i want to look cute and feminine, that's been my only goal in life for years and IT'S FUCKING IMPOSIBLE BECAUSE I'M GENETIC GARBAGE

>>7603895
>He says I'm welcome to crossdress and dress up for him and we would have a gf roleplay if my dysphoria ever acted up again.
so nice!

>I get dressed up in pretty emasculating male stuff anyway for him
what do you get dressed up as?

>>7603910
It's impressive you can top.

You do know there's no physical barrier seperating doms and subs.

Muscle bottoms exist too you know.

>>7603940
i don't want to
i want to have a cute and feminine appearance
how many times am i going to have to repeat myself to you?

>>7603937
Yeah it's a real relief off my mind I can always vent those feelings if need be

Pink male underwear and typical fag wear, as well as thigh highs

>>7603910
>i am a repressed gay too, i only top, i live vicariously through my feminine partners
agp. why not do the vicarious thing with girls as partners?

>>7603954
because they're not feminine males

>>7603951
if you needed to, what gf roleplay would you do with him ?

>and typical fag wear
i don't know what this is. i think about girl wear more than gay wear.

>as well as thigh highs
so trappy

>>7603964
you're dysphoric to be a femboy not to be a girl?

>>7603954
how is it agp?
me wanting to have a cute and feminine appearance to match my internal self-image has nothing to do with sexuality
i cannot interface with the world because of my disgusting garbo genetics
>>7603968
yes, since I was young I have thought of myself as androgynous, not a girl, I never wanted to be a man either. When I was a teenager I was truly androgynous and cute, that was the last time I felt like myself and the last time I felt comfortable in this world/in my body.

>>7603968
I would dress up like a girl and put on my fag voice no doubt, makeup and such for the night.

I doubt my dysphoria would ever get to that stage again as I already feel like it has an outlet now

>>7603831
>It really does go away when you are being held in a mans arms and feel completely protected by him.

It helps, and I really wish I were as strong as you, but when he holds me it can just make it worse, reminding me how I can never please him like a true woman. That said his love keep me going, I'd probably be the world's quietest wind-chime without him.

>>7603998
>how is it agp?
fulfilling yourself by projecting as your partner is agp.

>i cannot interface with the world
what does that mean?

>yes, since I was young I have thought of myself as androgynous, not a girl, I never wanted to be a man either.
would you rather be an androgynous male or androgynous female? or do you think of yourself as truly genderless?

>>7604025
I've found it helps since I feel like more of a fag than a man.

And he's exclusively gay so he enjoysy masculine boyish side too and we can spend time together as total bros and suddenly it switches to me being this soft sensitive little sub

>>7604035
I don't project myself on them sexually, I just love being in the intimate presence of cute androgynous boys
>>7604035
>what does that mean?
I feel disconnected from my identity, I'm dissociated from my body, my speech and mannerisms are deliberate and robotic and I think I must come across as very unnatural and off-putting. I just feel like I don't belong in this word man, I wish I could escape my body. I have to use a bullshit facade personality in order to interact with the world.
I'd love to be an androgynous male again

>be a tranny for 8 years
>go from barely functional guy to hyper neet tranny who never leaves the house
>feel like i don't pass even though i'm almost never misgendered
>nobody hits on me
>the real reason i feel shit is because i'm probably ugly
>people around me tell me i'm not but i think they're all lying to make me feel better
>no point in being a man/woman if you can't be attractive as one
>detransition in late 2015
>living the femboy life on a diet of soy and spiro
>mood starts improving because i'm no longer judging myself by female standards constantly
>recently feelings of jealousy start to creep back in
>i want to be even more feminine
>the only thing keeping me femboy mode is the fact that i make a cute twink and i'm kind of AAP for myself

How do I make it stop? I just want to live the homo lifestyle and stop feeling jealous of transgirls who transition successfully and look cute.

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I'm trying to repress my ftm feelings still. It's been tough lately, the last day or so I've been really dysphoric. I want to be tall and masc and have a girl love me.