So this is gender dysphoria?

great, so instead you'll be a rainbow tumblr colored bulldyke who's too much of a pussy to get a shot in the ass once a month ^^

though I do hope you'll figure things out, because I know that feeling of being unsure of what you want to be in life, and it totally sucks

>>7560531
I don't even look like a bulldyke, more like a young boy with long hair. Literally I was on a (general) gay dating website and all I got was gay men offering sex, but I'm not interested in men.

It's not a matter of being a pussy, but knowing that I won't ever be an actual man. I don't have a dick, nor the bone structure, or the muscle mass. I'd be a circus freak.

>>7560536
Thanks for this though, I guess.

>>7560374
>>7560551
This is literally a genderswapped version of my life.

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>>7560374
You sound really hot OP. Would you been into a passable and femme mtf?

Probably should talk to a therapist on this one before it gets too late to start T if you need to. Or swap brains with me in some back alley clinic in Thailand, if you've stopped fearing death.

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>>7560374
Mark my words you WILL transition eventually it is an inevitably given what you have said.

Spooky pic related.

>>7560374
so you're a trans man, is what you're saying here
we don't transition because we want to, we transition because you have to
sounds like you're going to have to within a couple years, too

>>7560374
That sucks anon. Seems your only option is to get some therapy and get past it, or hope medical science makes some huge breakthrough. Don't let yourself get pressured into thinking you have to transition though

>>7561194
I have APD, I've been to a therapist for almost ten years. Left because I basically did nothing and made her frustrated. I would've never talked about this anyway.

>>7561203
>>7561225
I really don't want to transition, I don't think I'm trans and I don't want to be. Maybe, if the results would be exactly what I want, but no. I'd like to be a bio man, not an imitation.

>>7561269
Just bearing it seems like the only option, yeah. I had to get it off somehow.

>>7562270
>I'd like to be a bio man, not an imitation
i guess it's appropriate that if you're clinging to trying to be a girl you're thinking like a special snowflake
but you aren't special
absolutely none of us want to be 'imitations', we just realize that choosing to not transition is just choosing to not even glimpse the possibility of the life you want

>>7562282
I don't think this is "special snowflake thinking". I've seen the effects of T and while it makes you look like some sort of guy, it doesn't exactly make you magically grow a dick, or become 10 cm taller, or modify your bone structure.

That's what I'd want ideally but I cannot.

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>>7562292
the special snowflake thinking is assuming that wanting to be a cis guy instead of wanting to be a trans guy makes you somehow different to other trans guys
given what you describe about your pre-transition body and the fact that you're willing to work out you can have a pretty good outcome if you do transition, though shit like 'ten years of therapy' implies you've only accepted this well into adulthood, which...yeah, that's stupid
also, bottom surgery being shit is a meme

>>7562297
>the special snowflake thinking is assuming that wanting to be a cis guy instead of wanting to be a trans guy makes you somehow different to other trans guys
I don't think I'm different or more special than any trans guy because I don't think of myself as trans though. I know it sounds like a mindfuck but it is a mindfuck.

>>7562307
you may or may not have the specific identity of 'trans male', but you do have the condition of ftm transsexualism, which is referred to that way socially
the fact that you think you can go without treating it is on you

>>7562313
I think that's the main issue here. I don't want to treat it. The very idea of having to do something to be what I want enrages me.

>>7562367
>having to do something to be what I want
you have to work out to have muscle
you have to socialize to have friends
you have to like women to be a lesbian
you have to transition to be male
the last one is in no way fundamentally different from the other three

>>7560374
>I recently came with the realization that I long to be a man. An actual man, not some rainbow tumblr colored bullshit or non binary fuckery.

So do ftms you fucking pleb

if it makes you feel any better i don't want to transition either,
it literally cucks you out of life completely

>>7562374
I don't think transitioning is comparable to the rest m8.

>>7562379
>So do ftms you fucking pleb
My main experiences with FTMs comes from tumblr, so.

Welcome to hell.

>>7562399
don't really see how it isn't
transitioning was certainly a whole lot easier for me than socializing or working out is, and i didn't exactly have an easy transition
>My main experiences with FTMs comes from tumblr
hahahaHAHAHAHA
the only sane ftms on tumblr are stealth (so look at the tumblr users who claim to be cis guys, i guess) and even then there are a lot less than there used to be as the site radicalized -- i spent a lot of time there stealth around 2013-2014 and saw major negative changes even then
tumblr ftms are not even slightly representative of the general population of trans men
if this is a factor holding back your transition, and it sounds like it is, then it's the laziest one you could possibly have

>>7562270
You are trans, my friend, you will try to repress it, but it will get worst. It will consume all your thoughts.

>>7562297
The hormones will help to keep your mind in check.

>>7562399
I would have directed you to youtube, but all the old ftms deleted their youtubes and were replaced by tumblr tier straight girls pretending to be ftm around 2013ish

I do believe you can live the most male life as an attractive butch lesbian though,
Top of the lesbian food chain, guys see you almost as a guy, tons of grilles want to fugg u

but when you transition you become the lowest of the low possible male, dickless manlet who lesbians wont fuck and straight girls will laugh at
men will start treating you as more feminine and female than they treated you when you were a butch, not to mention your family will excommunicate you and society will look down upon you severely, a lot of these sub 5ft doughy, girly looking ftms don't realize this though, because they don't look like guys before transition and are just trying to get rid of their dysphoria

>>7562419
>I would have directed you to youtube, but all the old ftms deleted their youtubes and were replaced by tumblr tier straight girls pretending to be ftm around 2013ish
I look around and all I see is tumblrinas with rainbow hair who spew bullshit and ask for money. I don't need more tumblr in my life than my own hair but I can afford it as I'm a trainer and no one gives a shit about green hair.

I did consider the sex part too. I wouldn't fuck me either at that point.

>men will start treating you as more feminine and female than they treated you when you were a butch, not to mention your family will excommunicate you and society will look down upon you severely, a lot of these sub 5ft doughy, girly looking ftms don't realize this though, because they don't look like guys before transition and are just trying to get rid of their dysphoria
Yep, that's offputting as fuck.

>>7562411
>It will consume all your thoughts.
Already does. I considered it more seriously when I was 16 and told my girlfriend I might be a guy (I was pressured by older trans guys though, I admit) and she told me it wouldn't have mattered. But now I just don't want to be IT.
>inb4 it's retarded
I know.

>>7560374
What being a man or a woman mean to you? Why do you wish to be a man?

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Look up anavar you nut

5-10mg for 8 weeks

Clit growth reverses it self

Anavar is very expensive and it is therefore one of the most counterfeited steroids

If you get fake Anavar it will most likely be Winstrol or Dianabol if you take these you will get permanent clit growth, change in voice, facial hair etc

If you do multiple cycles of Anavar and work out PROPERLY you might end up like pic related

And by real workout i mean GVT, PPL or a power lifting routine not your fag "tom boy" workout

>>7562497
Where would I even get that? I'm European.
Also I'm a trainer, I don't do pussy workouts.

>>7562458
>Why do you wish to be a man?
Proportions and I like male bodies. Not sexually, but I think I already made that very clear.

>>7562497
How is this related to OP?

>>7563091
It will give the masculine muscle structure OP is looking for without the masculinisation in other others that they don't want.

>>7563152
The masculine fat distribution is key for presentation. The only reason those girls look like that is because they abuse stuff like clenbuterol to dehydrate them. Proper T will give OP a lower bodyfat% and the appearance she/he wants without destroying her heart and vascular health chasing the anavar bod.

>>7563152
>>7563407
So what the fuck am I supposed to do? Getting mixed signals here.

Also that stuff is expensive as fuck, and I assume I need a prescription. Good luck to me if I decide to do it.

>>7563464
>So what the fuck am I supposed to do?
Dig them ovaries out.

>>7563479
Hold on, I'm getting a spoon.

>>7563495
I need you to webm this

>>7563531
Shit aside, no actual replies to this? >>7563464

>>7563830
Go to a gender therapist

>>7564282
Useless drivel.

>>7560551
>It's not a matter of being a pussy, but knowing that I won't ever be an actual man. I don't have a dick, nor the bone structure, or the muscle mass.
Truer than most FTMs realize I think, this is true even if you were to get T since the bone structure is actually one thing preventing you from having the mass (with weaker bones you'll injure easier while/after bulking up).

>>7562297
bottom surgery being shit being a meme is a meme

>>7565543
From what I read the only thing I could possibly do is trying Anavar but all the shit on the net seems sketchy so I should probably get a fake prescription.

>>7565557
That's what fucks with my head the most. Even if I hypothetically decided to go full FTM and get T, that's what I will be. Not a man. I know I have a vagina and a fake dick is even worse than neovags.

Guys, you're making it sound like getting roids is easy when it's not.

>>7566118
Getting roids is extremely easy what the fuck are you on.

>>7566338
>Getting roids is extremely easy
Is your daddy a doctor?

This sounds painful. GD is a bitch.

>An actual man, not some rainbow tumblr colored bullshit or non binary fuckery.

Tumblr ruined transitioning. Actually not tumblr as a whole, I'd say it's the radical "SJW" people calling anyone to the right of them racist/sexist/transphobic/whatever, and the radical opposition who calls anyone to the left of them "SJW" or cucks or whatever. Both of them are symbiotic - none could survive on their own. Each one provokes people and feeds the other, normal people read one side and become triggered and enraged and lose all higher brain functions and join the other side. It ruins all legitimate discussions because everything just gets sucked into this huge black hole that is the SJ wars. Now it's trying to suck in the very idea of being trans. I say we just round up both sides and put them in a huge room and let them take care of each other. Society will be better for it.

>>7568416
And just to be clear, I'm not talking about actual political debate about policies. I'm talking about the ones who say "people of color can't be racist/sexist/...", the Red Pill people who say women have the minds of children, the ones who say assuming someone's gender is transphobic, the ones who say every trans person is mentally ill and should be forcibly detransitioned or euthanized. The fun part is, unlike the KKK or the Black Panthers, they don't have to recruit. The other side recruits for them. They make people fear for themselves and put them into total war mode where they don't take prisoners and find the most radical place they can. Both sides have to go, because this meme is destroying politics.

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>>7560374
I have a 100% working males body..

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRADE WITH ME? ;_;

>>7560531
This. I'm a trans guy but never identified as "lesbian", I always simply said I like girls. If you're comfortable in your body, then don't transition; it's just a bunch of added stress, and you might realize you don't actually want to be a guy. You seem already well as it is, no dysphoria

>>7568675
did you read the op? he pretty clearly described dysphoria, the problem is the only trannies he's ever met are tumblrinas

>>7562367
Same here bro, do you want to talk about it? I do. I haven't started transition but I think I will by next year. I agree with everything you said in this thread, but keep in mind once trans men pass, nobody sees them as "imitations". Trust me, I met one once and had NO idea he was trans at all, just looked like any random guy.

you are an unique person, dont try to get defined by terms and words.

You define yourself.

>>7565543
Different bone structure doesn't mean weaker bones, it means wide hips and narrow shoulders. You absolute retard.

>>7568705
Self-definition doesn't remove dysphoria. Self-realization does.

>>7568675
Let's put it this way. If I had the absolute certainty that transitioning meant gaining height, narrow my hips, and grow a functional dick I'd do it without even thinking about it twice.

Putting it in lesbian terms makes more sense right now because as a matter of fact I'm a girl, I'm just used to it.

>>7568697
I've looked at some transmen and they do pass physically, however some smaller ones do not. I'm not as tall as a man so that'd be a fail from the beginning. And there's the penis problem too. It mightn't concern you, though, because I know I'm pretty specific about how I'd like to be and the limitations I have.

>>7569102
It really concerns me, I'll never be able to have a boner. I want to die because I can't be a female for any longer and I'll never be able to have sex because I'm not comfortable with people touching me down there plus I'll never be able to please a girl with my penis. Being able only to resort to "lesbian" ways like fingering and tongue makes me sick.

>>7569326
you've fallen for the 'bottom surgery is shit' meme
talk to some trans guys who've had it
the only good thing about tumblr is that it has a decent number of bottom surgery blogs, if you read gendercube, edman93-t-diary, and a few others that aren't coming to mind right now you can discover a lot and they're always willing to answer questions
it is absolutely 100% possible under current medical techniques to get a normal looking penis that has full sexual sensation

>>7569326
I hear you on the sex part. As of now I don't really have issues with girls, but if I were to transition that'd complicate a lot of stuff.

Are you under 25?

>>7569360
>it is absolutely 100% possible under current medical techniques to get a normal looking penis that has full sexual sensation
Sounds fake.

>>7569430
I'm 18, so still plenty of time. I'm starting hrt soon because I can't stand being treated and viewed as a girl. I'm not super short either.
>>7569360
On every blog I've seen, they look like frankenpenises. Especially phallo which is the only one I'd consider getting. Plus having to deal with the scar and all of the costs, it doesn't seem worth it. But I can't keep a vagina.

>>7568858
It doesn't by definition, but in the case of men and women it absolutely does, you rebsolute atard. Look at hands and wrists for just one example -- they're almost all bone and skin. Definitely no sex difference there, right? Definitely no such thing as man hands, right?!

Look, I'm not gonna go all skull autist on you, but the reason that troll works in the first place is the classic nugget of truth thing. A woman of a given height or mass is going to have lighter, weaker and, yes, smaller bones than a man of the same height or mass. That's just life, that's just dimorphism. If you don't accept it you're just setting yourself up for disappointment when your unrealistic expectations aren't fulfilled.

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>>7569526
Lool. Have you never been to femgen? Women have high fat/low muscle because of estrogen, and going on testosterone decreases fat % and adds muscle, even when they don't work out. On mtfs it's opposite, with them getting the delicate fat/muscle ratio of women to cover their manbones. The bone structure is different and biofemales usually end up looking smaller than cismen but you see more delicate hands on a male computernerd than a washing lady because calluses and general use. Anything that is flesh and skin can be altered by hormones/surgery/lifestyle. The part that you can't change is easier to cover up for an ftm than a mtf, as short men with odd bone structures are common, while 7 ft tall monsterladies with growling voices are rare.

>A woman of a given height or mass is going to have lighter, weaker and, yes, smaller bones than a man of the same height or mass
What birth sex is pic related?

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>>7569526
>>7569633
What birth sex is pic related?

>>7569496
You're almost 10 years younger than me then.

>>7570399
why are you here

>>7569637
male

>>7570701
I'm OP.

>>7571081
If you're 27-28 there's risk for your voice to go Donald Duck mode on testosterone. From what I gather 25 is the oldest to expect good results.

>>7571152
27.
It's not really high but eh, I guessed it's late for anything. I'm pretty much resigned to only look for a doc who'll get me some Anavar right now for the muscle mass.

>>7571226
>look for a doc
Good luck getting that legally. Darkweb and roiders are your friends.

>>7571240
Since I'm not from the US that could be even harder.

>>7571265
aussie? euro has no problems from what I gather.

>>7571388
EU. Strict about imported stuff.

>>7571559
Go to fraud on /fit/. They know internal sources I think.

>>7566377
>Buy bitcoins
>Order from clearnet website
>?????
>Receive roids in the mail like literally everyone else

>>7571651
>>7571748
Thanks for the tips but I looked it up and it's a pain in the ass. I'm gonna be as pitiful as possible to the family doc and see what happens and then eventually throw myself into other options.

I really need my body to change a bit, at least.

This thread is fucking depressing.

>>7562399
>My main experiences with FTMs comes from tumblr, so.
Those aren't FTMs any more than girls in porn are lesbians

>>7562443
>I look around and all I see is tumblrinas with rainbow hair who spew bullshit and ask for money.
That's because they're popular with retarded cishets, who have the numbers to push them to the top.

Check out Yorick and Ernold Johnson, they shit all over that nonsense.

>>7563464
>So what the fuck am I supposed to do? Getting mixed signals here.
different anons have differernt views and levels of understanding, don't just take some random anon at his word in lieu of someone disagreeing, fuck

>>7569360

>edman93-t-diary
Sorry but that looks as weird as any other phallo. Granted it's only 10 months on, but still.

>>7574545
I'm just weighing options at the moment. The more I think about it, the more it becomes incredibly pervasive though.

>>7562506
>Also I'm a trainer, I don't do pussy workouts.
most trainers i've seen do pussy workouts
>no compounds
>circuit training with machinery
>pelvic floor thrusts and other meme exercises for men to jack off to

>>7560551
>I'd be a circus freak.
Aren't you a circus freak now since you look like a young buy when you're actually an adult? Testosterone will make you into an adult.

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Oh great, it's another "I have terrible dysphoria but I don't want to alleviate it unless I can remove it 100%" episode.

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op you sound like a cool person. I wish you the best and hope you find a way =]

>>7575426
I don't look like a 12 year old child, try 16-18ish. T would give me a fuckload of body hair but I'd hate body hair as a bio man too. Not to mention the freaky clitdick.

>>7575390
That's a lot of wrong assumptions there, m8.

>>7575434
Surprisingly there are people who can't be content with just "looking like" and not "being".

>>7575497
What the hell is in that pic?

>>7574522
Especially the "nonbinary" ones or the yaoi couples. Those are fucking obnoxious.

>>7575807
>T would give me a fuckload of body hair

Not everyone gets bodyhair on T.
It depends on your ancestry.
Native Americans and Asians, for example, don't get much body hair.
Look at your brothers to see what you would look like.

>>7578057
Don't have brothers. I don't have a relationship with my parents but my father is average (and well built, very athletic guy when he was young), my mother is a blonde so you don't notice. Sister bitches about body hair all the time, it's not much but above average.

I talked with a gay dude I work out with about this whole thing and he literally said "shit the trannies got to you at the end", but that's probably because he's being relentlessly chased by a FTM.

Is this thread still here? Whoa.
>he said as he was bumping

>>7575807
i thought pre-t that i'd hate having more body hair and it'd be terrible, turns out i really like it
relieving your dysphoria can change a lot of the opinions you developed when you had it at its most severe

>>7580353
How do you deal with the genitals?

>>7580539
i was always excited for phallus growth on t, so i'm in a different position to you here
however i've found my view of my genitals is as a whole more positive, i still desire bottom surgery at the first possible opportunity for both the sexual and social advantages it presents but it's no longer a 'if i don't get it done by yesterday guess i'll have to kill myself' situation, and i don't really mind what i currently have there which is not a point of view i ever thought it i would have
i can even jack off now, which i couldn't do during my first half-puberty despite having an equally insane sex drive

>>7580554
Glad it worked out for you but I couldn't stand that personally.

>>7581174
note that if you take dht blockers, that can probably minimize hair/genital growth

>>7581185
not him but can you recommend some?

>>7581194
finasteride
it's probably smarter to wait 3-6 months after starting t to take it just in case you're interfering with anything else (e.g. voice), which means you'll see some increase in hair and phallus size, but you'll negate the majority of it
also note that if you stop it the impediment of the hair changes are likely reversible but that of the genital changes likely aren't, and if you ever decide you want bottom surgery (in the long run almost all trans men who can afford it pursue bottom surgery, despite the meme amongst communities with people earlier in transition that it's shit) then it'll pretty much lock you into phalloplasty which is a more intensive procedure with a more flawed result than metoidioplasty

Is there a way to get Anavar with a prescription? I think I'll try that, and then decide if starting T or not. I'm not totally convinced by what I'd get.

>>7581289
You will need to know a cheeky and corrupt doctor

>>7581990
My psychiatrist is my mother's ex boyfriend from high school so there's a chance at least to fake a prescription. Wouldn't know what to tell him if I wanted to be honest with him.

Alright lads, decided to go the faux rx route. Anything on the net seems sketchy as fuck.

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>>7582022
Tell him you think you're falling in love with him.
Psychiatrists love that shit.

>>7583137
I'm diagnosed with APD, he'd probably see right through it.

>>7583201

Auto-Phallic-Dyspepsia?

>>7583208
Ha ha.
Antisocial personality whatever.

I edited a previous prescription, the old ladies at the local pharmacy are sort of retarded, we'll see how this goes.

If you're still around, OP, I'd keep a close eye on what kinds of thoughts pop into your head out of the blue. I felt the same way you did about mtf transitioning from eight or nine years old.

After twelve years of chronic depression, insomnia, and blooming schizo-affective symptoms... I was fantasizing both about being the other gender or killing myself every single day multiple times per day.

If you ever get to the point where you consider life might not be worth living with the unattainable desire you have, start making compromises. We can't have what we want, we don't want what we have. We don't know what we want. Everything we have becomes meaningless.

You may not be able to be born again, but there's an infinite series of steps you can take toward being more like who you'd like to be like.

>>7583415
It's getting very unbearable lately, probably because I've just admitted it to myself.

I don't know what I will do eventually, it's fucking with my head.