Trans Help General #130

>>7310781
Describe you dysphoria. Mine feels like being on amphetamines, from the moment my eyes open in the morning. No wonder people would rather die than deal with this.

Is it true that repressing is impossible and leads to suicide or honhood? Is there hope to be a normal person instead of gross dude dressed like a female? Should I get it over with now? Please help

>>7311366
>Is it true that repressing is impossible and leads to suicide or honhood?
Yes.

Repressing only makes things worse, if you want to have a chance at passing you ought to get on hormones as soon as possible. The older you get the less effect hrt will have.

could the negative effects on having an orchi before SRS be avoided by regular stretching?


>>7311366
for many, it does. however we would probably not hear from anyone who successfully repressed so who knows really

>>7311366

Have you read this before? http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm

Maybe repression does work for some people, but it never seems to since how would we know? The stakes are also extremely high to risk it.

>>7314060
The thread was only on page 5 though?

is there a therapist who i can just email to get a pres from
and then a company who will send it to me so i dont have to face the pharmac
im really shy

>>7314255

Just email? No. They would risk losing their license. However, you can do Skype sessions with some therapists and they will write you a letter to see an endocrinologist.

Health warehouse is a legitimate online pharmacy you can use your prescription with. You probably also have local pharmacies that will deliver your prescription to you (with their own driver).

But really, you need to grow a spine. Eventually you'll have to remove your facial hair and the electrologist or laser technician will say, "Why is a big, handsome man like you getting your ENTIRE beard removed? There are plenty of guys who want the edges taken off for neatness, but the ones who want it all taken off tend to tell me they're trans."

>>7314290
Since you gotta write on the laser waiver form what medications you're currently taking I'm pretty sure even the most basic tech is gonna be clued in

Repressfag here
I want to shit this ride and a list of calculated consiquences and powerful anxiety pushed me to hold the line.
Please, without your emotions intervening, tell me what to expect and what might be a possible solutions to this problem

I am ready to self-distruct

>>7314978
I want to leave this ride and after*

How does electroschock therapy sound btw

I was really happy when I first started HRT and for a while after that, but then that feeling wore off and it hasn't come back. I've felt empty for the past several months - It doesn't matter if something good or bad happens, I just end up thinking "oh. that's something that happened. okay."
Sometimes I'll feel awful because other people are busy being successful in life while I'm doing nothing, I'll uncontrollably compare myself to them and start crying, but then that stops and it's back to emptiness.
I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago but can't stop thinking that I don't deserve to be alive, someone else could probably benefit more from being me. I was going to kill myself last year but didn't. I kinda wish I had though, I don't know if I want to exist anymore.

Please help, I have no one to talk to so I don't know what to do or if any of this is normal or not. I'm completely lost.

>>7315000
I can relate to your post a lot. As a person that had his self-worth nuked a bunch of times, i am also looking for methods to till this hole. You know the basic normie advise of small steps and being yourself. When that doesnt work in practice, you need to find a real solution. For me personally, trying new things all the time manages to do the trick. Although, i have to force myself quite bit.
Do something new and drastic. Take drugs even

Im this anon >>7314978 and such posts as yours hit me in the feels very hard so I am willing to provide you a sort of emotional support that isnt irrational.
You are free to add me anywhere. Like kik, snapchat or whatever that makes you feel anonymous and safe

>>7315000

You're depressed anon. You've got to find someone in your area to talk to, at your age depression is not uncommon, are you physically active? Exercise can help a lot.

>>7311140
Same
How do cis guys handle being on T when it makes me feel so shit
Spiro legit gives me a slight high

>>7315593
>Spiro legit gives me a slight high
Explain. I'm quite sure the endo I'm going to visit will fuck me over with RLE and won't prescribe shit to me.

I just bought my bicalutamide from inhousepharmacy, I was hesitant because it was manufactured in India. Anyone else ordered from here before? How was your experience?

>>7315618
It just makes me feel warm inside and all my tension goes away and I just feel really good and get a bit giggly sometimes

Will being a vegetarian/vegan help lower my T levels?

>>7316394
Cutting alot of red meat out of your diet is one way they say will help, so possibly.

>>7314065
less people post when it's on higher pages. less posts means it moves even further down the line. I've woken up to these threads being on page 9 before.

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Does receding hairline improve on HRT? Or does it just slow it down? I've gotten really paranoid about mine since if I had short hair I would probably look like fucking Dracula, even tho I'm just 18.

Any closeted mtfs here? How does one balance the desire to have a female appearance and others not finding out / not getting beaten up on the street?
How feminine of an appearance is too feminine for the society to accept from a young adult?

Throughout my life I kept mid-length hair and this allowed me (and still allows) to pass as a woman half the time. However, as transitioning would mean being forever unemployed, discriminated and beaten up or worse, is there an alternative to this? How did those of you who decided to stay in the closet overcome this impasse?

Also, which countries are the most trans and LGBT friendly? I'm thinking of saving up and moving.

>>7318124
Take HRT (at least an antiandrogen on its own to stop you getting worse) and don't socially transition. Hide breasts once they grow enough to be noticeable; the rest of the changes won't really be obvious enough. Move somewhere better as soon as possible (the problem is your environment and not you so there's no question of not transitioning).

What country are you in?

>>7318143
I'm in France.
Is the C breast size considered noticeable? How do I hide it?
And how to hide wide hips? My hips are a little bit wider than my shoulders and I got bullied for that very often, too.

So I'm definitely in the questioning stage. I mean, the idea of being a girl is great. It's just difficult to imagine overcoming all the difficulties that trans people go through. I don't know if I'd end up passing, which is pretty important to me. I'm not super masculine, but I'm not feminine, and my voice is pretty deep. I've never really tried cross-dressing or wearing girlish make-up to see, though. Superficially, I like girly stuff when it comes to media (music, movies, games). I've always identified more with female characters. Favorite colors are magenta and cyan. My best friend thinks I secretly want to transition despite my denial. I'm 20 so I feel like now would be the time to start transitioning if I really wanted to but it's hard for me to be sure. It's not like I've always felt I was in the wrong body, I think I'm pretty okay with being a guy...it's just that being a girl could be better. Like, hypothetically if I had the option to be a passing mtf, without the option to go back, I absolutely would. I'm pretty confused atm.

Been questioning for around 6 years now. Have had a long term girlfriend, love her heaps but worried about coming out and fucking my life up and currently thats the main thing holding me back at this point.

Basically all I do when I have free time is masturbate to the thought of me being a girl, not just in a sexual sense but in a general day to day sense. I get very jealous of women's social roles as I have never felt comfortable in a male one.

The whole masturbation thing / worried about fucking up my life with my girlfriend makes me think its a fetish, but the fact its been going on so long and that I would prefer to be a girl in a non sexual sense makes me think otherwise.

Thoughts?

>>7315572
>You're depressed anon.
I guess so. I'll talk to my medical provider and try to get something sorted out. She said she wanted to avoid prescribing anti-depressants if possible though.

>You've got to find someone in your area to talk to
As in a friend, or a therapist?

>are you physically active? Exercise can help a lot.
I used to run a couple times a week, but lost the motivation to continue. I'll probably start again when it gets colder.

>>7315224
I don't have a smartphone, so I don't think I can use either of those.

I have a steam account but that's it:
>https://steamcommunity.com/id/nue2/
If anyone wants to play something, just add me I guess.

>>7318655
this should be of interest to you >>7262740

>>7315632
don't fall for boomer/pharma propaganda

>>7317740

It stops hair loss and it's possible that some will come back.

>>7314290
Right but if it was easy I wouldn't be asking

>>7310781
Started at mid 19, turned 20 a month ago, five days before the 5 months mark. Do I have a fucking chance of not being a hon since I started so disgustingly late?

>>7319802
Yes, 19 isn't that late.
Age isn't as important as your genetics.

>>7319831
>TFW 17 inch shoulders
should I just kill myself anyway?

>>7319842
17" isn't awful. You can dress to make your shoulders look smaller.

i wanna fucking die

>>7311140
>amphetamines
What do you mean? anxiety?

I have anxiety24/7. But I can't go trans, not passable and repressed.

it is really hard.

How did you get over the fear of failing the transition or not passing before you started HRT? I'm 21 and in the military, and with the new policies allowing transgender people to serve, I guess endocrinology is a path I can take. Thing is, I feel like it's too late and if I did it it would be a shot in the foot.

How did you anons conquer this? Did you just take a deep breath and step into the dark or was there some kind of angle I'm missing? I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and I want to feel confident telling him I'm ready to talk to an endocrinologist.

Also any other military trans here?

>>7320103
Your chances of transitioning/passing successfully are incredibly higher with HRT than without, and it's not like you have the option of not transitioning.

You can never fully be sure that you're trans and there are a lot of irrational doubts and fears (many of which will be because you're looking for an answer that says you're not trans; being trans is scary), but you have to realise that you have enough evidence to be reasonably certain you are regardless of what those doubts tell you.

>>7318530
Keep exploring your feelings. It's interesting that your friends think you may be trans, would they be supportive? Why do you think being a girl would be great? Is it because you would be more comfortable in your day to day life or because of some perceived social advantage? How do you feel about growing older as a man? If you do transition but fail to pass would you still feel better that you will not become more masculine in appearance? What aspects of your current gender make you uncomfortable enough that it would warrant transitioning? Don't repress your feelings, explore them honestly and in depth, get therapy if you think it will help you understand yourself. Do not delay. If you decide with an open and honest heart that you are/are not trans then do what you must. Just try not to let the difficulty of transitioning affect your decision

>>7320362
No guarantee. Besides, estrogen alone can kill your balls.

>>7318530
You can get assessed, get your paper work done and always do a trial with hormones. I'm sure you'll improve on passing later on. Do not get surgery until you know it's what you really want.

>>7319936
Same
4chan is great for meeting people with the same interests

I need a bit of guidance

I've had agp since about 13, most of my friends in high school were girls, and any crushes I had on them always turned into me fantasizing about waking up as them, or being one of their 'girl' friends. I never had bad dysphoria though, I've always been kind of like >>7318530 in that I don't mind being a guy, but I've always thought being a girl could make me happier, and I never tried to be feminine or masculine. I'm not in a hurry to lop my dick off. Also, I was pretty depressed towards the end of HS, but never really about my gender specifically.

My older sister is trans, and she hated everything about being a boy and was miserable pretty much until she started transitioning. The fact that our stories are so different almost makes me feel like the whole thing is like a sham I guess? That she really had to transition, and that I'm just sort of making this up. I was a bit jealous of her that she was able to come out and do it, yet I still feel that if I came out I would be a fraud. Idk how to really explain it, whether this is some repression or what.

>>7319936
>>7321605
Oh hey, what a coincidence. Me too.

>>7314841

That's if you're honest.

>>7322815

When did your sister come out?

>>7317740
I feel you I too have the Dracula hairs.
Also, I've the hairiest legs.
And When I shave them, They avenge themselfe returning after two days, with free red bubble.

I do believe this to be a little special hell for all of us.

>>7326148
>That's if you're honest.
Which you should be for your safety. I mean, anyone with half a brain would guess that a "guy" coming in to get their beard permanently removed (and is quite likely feminine in other ways) is trans, so it's not like hiding being on HRT is going to accomplish anything. Either you out yourself to the technicians as trans or as a fag who can't deal with having a beard if they don't just assume you're trans anyway.

>>7326148
Around the time she turned 18, several years ago.

I'm 18 atm

>>7326477

That makes you sound like a dumbass, tbqh. Has AGP and even a sister that transitioned several years before you and you're thinking it over at 18 now. So you say your sister resembled the trutrans narrative more?

>>7326516
Not that anon, but my brother came out as ftm 3 years before I did, at the time I was busy trying to figure out how to come out.
I went into full-on repression mode because I didn't want my parents to have to deal with 2 trannies. Eventually I convinced myself that because my brother is trans, it's basically impossible for me to be as well.
I could have started hrt at 14 and I feel like absolute shit just thinking about how much I messed up.

Denial can make you do really, really retarded things.

>>7326611
>Eventually I convinced myself that because my brother is trans, it's basically impossible for me to be as well.
I thank god my siblings are cishet, or I'd be the same.

>>7314290
to add, is there a skype who does just text?

>>7310781

It's not a big deal since I haven't cut myself yet (and probably never will since I remember to protect my fingers), but when you break open an ampule, is the cap supposed to shatter into pieces? I just did my fourth injection and I've never had the top come off whole.

>>7327139
I doubt it, then there would be little difference from email no?

I did mine over the phone, took 2 sessions, half an hour each. I'm really shy so the therapist did most of the talking (asking questions), I mostly just answered (actual answers though, not just yes's and no's).
Got the prescription a week after that.

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Halp Anons I'm fucked up pretty bad.
I'm 20, and an idiot. I cannot fit everything in 1 post.
Here's the "story" I'll greentext because I'm too dumb to actually put phrases togheter.
>The first memory I have of this big ride is when I was 12-14 I did what >>7322815 did. " I had on them always turned into me fantasizing about waking up as them, or being one of their 'girl' friends" Can't really remember much. I've fried my Brain pretty bad.
>Same that year I Get "molested" by a friend of mines. Not as terrible as it sounds, but he did made me do some stuff. I had no idea of what I was doing while he did.
>I Grow a little bit (15-16) I wasn't much happy, I felt pretty alone. I'm that anon That catfished a friend, fist as a troll, but ended up liking playing the "fake girl game" and never told the truth. I pretended to be a gal, He didn't knew It was I, He was happy, I was happy to feel loved and I'm a terrible person for doing that, again, I felt alone.
/Cont/

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>>7327346
/Cont/
>Now I'm pretty much shit on all the fields. No money, No job, No love, No interests, Stuck in an uni I don't even like. No future. Nothing. I want to be a girl, and it feels pretty shit to wake up everyday doing what you don't like, In what a feel a body that I don't like. If I had to describe it: Someone carving the inside of my chest with a little teaspoon and making the whole thing hollow. But I'm scared that this is just a lie my brain's telling me. Something like "be girl, be little n' cute, be protected, be loved" I don't honestly think that when I analyze the thing. But I'm scared that to be the reason why I feel like it, Giving the fact that I still like Girls alot more than boys.
>I've talked to a therapist, but it didn't go very far.
I don't know if I want to transition because I'm sad And I fell for the meme. Or if I feel sad because I legit want to be a girl.
I honestly feel pathetic writing this, But it's worth a shot. Thanks.

>>7326516
>So you say your sister resembled the trutrans narrative more?

Yeah, when she first came out she tried to educate my parents and I (even though I already knew about most of the stuff she was talking about, since I had looked it up too, so your calling me a dumbass is accurate). I decided that since I wasn't always miserable, didn't hate my penis, and didn't have crippling anxiety over being a boy I couldn't be trans. And so for the next few years I just told myself that I wasn't really trans at all. Every few months or so I would come up with a new excuse, like "I shouldn't concerned about my gender" or "I'll get more comfortable with being male once I get a gf." Now that I've read a lot of stuff on here I realize that all that might have fucked me over, and is a lot more common than I thought.

I also see a bit of my situation in >>7326611, since I felt that I should sort of be the glue that prevents the family from falling apart. When I put myself in that position, I could never even think of transitioning, since I would be essentially picking a side. Even though most of my family has accepted my sister, I still pick up on the notion that they're bitter about everything, and that suddenly having their now only son turn out to be a girl too will stress them out even more than they are now, like from work, etc.

>>7327355
A lot of people talk about feeling hollow. I've been repressing for a while and I feel the same.

That aside, if you feel that becoming a girl would make you very happy and might be the only thing to give you happiness, then why not take HRT? HRT is not poison. It won't kill you and it won't turn you into a girl overnight. In fact, there are plenty of prescription drugs with much worse side effects. Take it, don't tell your parents and see how you feel about it. If you start feeling like a human being with emotions again, keep taking it. If it does nothing, stop and take anti-depressants instead.

How does it feel if you don't transition? Why are you unhappy with the biological status quo and when does it hit the hardest (eg. home alone or outside)? Please help me understand. I'm dating a trans girl right now but this is so personal I have nowhere else to ask but here. Thanks in advance. Be sure to put your heart and soul cause I'm listening. FTM/MTF doesn't matter, I think its the same... maybe...

Been feeling kind of lethargic. Haven't been able to get out of this depression for a while now. Trying to find some sort of employment that doesn't require going outside. Had a super kush job as at-home tech, but anxiety put me in the hospital and they eliminated my position in the mean time.

Any tips on finding Transfriendly employment?

>>7327541
Get into electric engineering its full of transistors

>>7327518
Its like literally having to put on a play every single day of your life. Outside is the hardest to deal with. Too many variables coming at you constantly, you have to put on a facade to meet expectations or face ridicule. Wanting more always, forever deemed a fool - you're made the court jester in this life...

At least to me anyways...

>>7327561
So you instinctively act like the other gender?
Thanks for the reply.

>>7327558
Is that a joke or are you serious? From what I've seen and heard it 99% guys.

"Please type the captcha" it's a fucking picture of a skyline.

>>7327579
I wouldn't call it instinct, more what feels natural. Instinct kinda implies that you do it out of survival sake, not out of comfort. If I am to be myself, it's how I'm most comfortable.

I think that's the hardest to explain.

>>7327591
There are a lot of girls in my college, around 20% on ee course. What i said was a joke tho lel

>>7327558
Ba-dum-tissssss

>>7327606
EE requires interaction in a corporate environment since you work with hardware, as opposed to like CompSci, which allows for freedom of remote work (e.g. Programming)

>>7327475
Sounds like a plan. I've tought about it. To just try, and I would love it.
I just didn't trust the "you'll feel better as soon as you start noticing the changes".
I have the dire feeling that my self esteem will just lower... But maybe It's worth a shot.
Thank you.

>>7327558
>>7327606
>>7327621
>tfw mtf
>tfw would've done EE if I coulda cut the math side of things

meme is real, friends

So, how do I avoid RLE to get on HRT? Could changing therapist help, or does it depend on my country?

Anyone else on here have a period between accepting they were trans and starting HRT where dysphoria was still present, but lessened by knowing your current state was temporary and you'd be correcting it soon?
A year and a half or so back when I was finally feeling shitty enough to address the question of gender and all that and oging through the "oh god I'm trans my life is over" stage I'd nearly killed myself several times, but started talking to my therapist about it (he's been very helpful but I haven't been in to see him in a few months) and got on antidepressants at least to avoid shooting myself. over the last six months or so I think I can say I've finally accepted I'm trans and it's stopped feeling like a death sentence, but now I'm having doubts because I ran out of antidepressants and haven't had the same crash down into suicidal dysphoria like I have in the past when I missed a few days or forgot to fill my prescription. Dysphoria's still there, but lessened a lot and I keep catching myself thinking that it was a result of the depression and I'll be fine - I think a big part of why I've been emotionally stable despite being unmedicated is that I finally have goals (move to another state, go to school, get a project car, etc.) and my job is keeping me real busy, but is that just repression? I don't know how long I can keep going staying 50 hours a week busy and continually finding new goals to work toward, and I'm worried that I got attached to the idea of being trans as a scapegoat for issues I'm now solving with work and goals. I don't know what the fuck I'm trying to say any more so I guess I'll just stop.

>>7329399
Lol, what I did was just take antidepressants in excess and developed severe mania as a result.
Nor did I talk to the therapist about it.

Why bother when you know your parents will throw you out as soon as you seek help?

>had gender identity issues since childhood
>when the puberty starts I only ever developed a desire to be the female in a relationship
>tfw be in the 8th grade and start crossdressing in private
>get bullied severely at school
>want to tell my mom about it
>start putting on makeup and doing my nails
>my mom immediately notices and starts insulting me
>feel suicidal most of my childhood because I'm caught in a situation with no escape
>talk to others on the Internet about it
>they tell me to seek help for the gender issues
>a friend with GID who was my only friend gets arrested
>depression gets worse to the point that I decide to buy chloroform, and plan to close myself up in a room of an abandoned building and use it to die peacefully
>try antidepressants
>they don't help
>decide to take them into excess because fuck this life
>black out repeatedly, get nausea and start vomiting
>wake up in a mental hospital with a severe manic episode
>turn 17
>they force me to go to school again
>I think of how I could get them to fuck off
>recently turned 21
>depressed and suicidal

And so ended my youth. Capitalism and family values, ho!

>>7311366
>Is it true that repressing is impossible and leads to suicide or honhood?
yes
>Is there hope to be a normal person instead of gross dude dressed like a female?
a delusional '''''''''man''''''''' taking her misery out on everyone else who will inevitably become a gross dude dressed like a female is much further from being a normal person than a well-adjusted trans woman who passes as cis at least some of the time (and let me tell you, a lot of cis people are fucking blind)
>Should I get it over with now?
yes

>>7329399
>Anyone else on here have a period between accepting they were trans and starting HRT where dysphoria was still present, but lessened by knowing your current state was temporary and you'd be correcting it soon?

Yes, and lessened further having started HRT

Remaining occupied is very important, otherwise you have plenty of time for unpleasant thoughts, but just because you're not suicidal does not mean your feelings regarding your gender are now invalid. It's pretty natural to question whether or not transitioning is the right thing to do and if you're doing it for the right reasons but don't lose sight of what set you on your current path, that'll lead to repression and later to regret.

>>7330932

I can see how family values fucked with your life, but how did capitalism?

Anyone use a thing to remove hair?
balls too

>>7333608
Epilate & Wax for legs & arms
Shave crotch (other options are too painful)
Epilate face (and crotch eventually)

I usually epilate on days when I want to die.

how do I stop being scared of doing something about being trans

>>7333882
What exactly is making you scared?

>>7333896
>people will think I'm a faggot
>some family members might hate me, others will just think I'm weird/mentally ill
>I'm a loser so it will just look like I want attention or something
>people will think it's because I "can't get a girlfriend" even though I don't even like girls
>process of transitioning is really scary and i'll probably never pass so what is the point, most likely I'll just end up being an ugly freak on hormones

my biggest fear is looking like some inbetween freak, not androgynous but you would be able to tell I'm a tranny/man on hormones by looking at me

>>7333906
You could always not socially transition until you feel ready. Just because you start hormones doesn't mean you need to tell your family about it.

I had that EXACT fear of being some inbetween abomination, and I'm glad I went for it. I'm not quite female looking yet but it certainly helped my dysphoria and looks, and sometimes I get ma'am-d. I don't plan on telling my family or friends until I feel I'm physically, visually ready for them to know, although I'm sure they are suspicious.

I'm not gonna post my whole story because I've already done that a couple of times but here's my issue:
>Show a lot of the symptoms of being trans, realize I'm definitely not a normal cisguy, lately consider I am trans especially when dysphoria flares up really bad
But two things hold me back from ever being certain:
>Can still look in the mirror and be comfortable with my face and body, even think I look pretty good if I'm dressed the right way
>Always looked up to, identified with, and tried to emulate males in movies/tv/media

>>7333932

I would be scared of people being suspicious too.

Idk I just hate having people thinking/talking about me.

>>7333987
I feel you anon. Even before HRT I always tried to avoid family parties from just not wanting to be seen or noticed.

If it comes down to it please talk to a gender therapist, they could really help you. Transitioning my be scary but holding off and doing nothing could hurt alot more in the long run.

>>7334006
What is a gender therapist like? What do they do for you ?

>>7333987
The effects of hrt aren't super hard to conceal, breasts you can hide with a sports bra (for a while anyway) and facial changes happen slowly so people who see you often won't notice the changes. You could write off weight redistribution as gaining weight.

>>7334008
They'll try to help you understand why you feel this way, and provide advice on what you can do. It's someone you can talk to, in private about whatever is troubling you.
A gender therapist will specialize in transgender issues (a generic therapist might not know anything about being transgender).
Most(?) will also give you a prescription for hormones.

>>7333953
Give your body a couple more years to masculinize, then you can really be sure hon

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when the surgeon turns the penis into the vagina, does the vagina get wet/lubed on its own?

the penis is not supposed to have stimulation more than four hours at a time because reasons. how does the vagina hold up to a long beating?

mens tits can make millk yeah?

>One shot at life
>Born trans
This is bullshit. If you're gay or bisexual then all you have to do is say "lol i like cock/pussy" and then you can live your life honestly. But when you're trans you have to go through years of expensive and often inefficient treatment in order to possibly pass and live life like you'd like to. I'm 18 and already talking about getting HRT with my therapist. I have some time left to possibly pass if i'm lucky, but that's a big if. Fuck this

>>7334177
it really makes me wonder whether i was an evil person in a past life or my family/past self was cursed

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>>7334029
Please tell me something else.

>>7334177

More like:

>one shot at life
>born trans to non-liberal parents in a time too early to have transitioned at tanner II at the latest

It's true about how easy it is as LGB. Of course you suffer if you repress during high school, college, or even until you're in your 30s, but at least you're able to start living your life right there when you finally come out.

>>7320237
Ahh! But I would make an ugly girl. I don't want to have to request an endocrinologist. I doubt my enjoyment of feeling feminine so much. I don't feel much like crossdressing. Also I dress like shit. I don't know what to do to feel more attractive. I hate this position I'm in. Did any of you feel like this? Looking like a guy is unfortunate, but I've never looked like a girl before.

>>7334323
>>7334177

Farbeit from me to get in the way of cathartic bitching, but at least you're not a child soldier or some shit.

>>7334385
I don't think my parents had anything to do with it and I don't think I'd like having ultra-liberal parents. I just want to live my life not be a way for them to go "look how progressive and accepting we are".


My parents aren't really that bad, I got in trouble/made fun of every once in a while by my dad but other than that it wasn't that bad.

I didn't talk to anyone or ever say anything about wanting to be a girl though.


>>7334525
desu i feel like i'd rather be a child soldier and just die than be a tranny

>>7319957
Idk maybe quit associating with niggers

>>7334372
Ffs is useless if you have a man sized head

>>7334567

>I didn't talk to anyone or ever say anything about wanting to be a girl though.

Same, but the reason I didn't was because my parents were conservative Catholics from a shithole Caribbean country. I didn't feel there was a point in coming out to them if I was just going to be told no and they brainwashed me about LGBT. So yeah, I place a lot of blame on myself for not saying anything, but I don't hold my parents indemnifiable for their part in this either.

>>7334630
I don't know, I just fantasized a lot about being a girl and waking up as a girl my age from like 6-13 and then I realized it wasn't normal.

I don't really know what I thought, if I thought it was okay and I would turn into a girl since I wanted to be one so bad or what. I remember thinking it was normal for guys to want to be girls.

My parents have definitely caught me crossdressing before but never while I was dressed(unless they saw me and I didn't notice), they'd find clothes but usually the clothes would just be gone/thrown away and I'd be really anxious they were gonna confront me. They never did.

I don't know whether I can blame them or not. If my kid was doing that I'd probably be too nervous/embarrassed to confront them. And if they confronted me I'd probably just have cried a lot and denied it all.

is bicalutamide good?

i heard someone mention an AA once they said was better than spiro cus it doesnt ruin your junk and drive as much, i think it was bicalutamide?

>>7333654
starting from really hairy
should i go with nair

fuck im 23 am i too old for this
i take pride when people think im younger but like its give and take

>>7334714
I don't really know, sorry.

All I know about nair is that it can supposedly fuck up your skin if you use it wrong (chemical burns).

>>7334070
>when the surgeon turns the penis into the vagina, does the vagina get wet/lubed on its own?
yes
>the penis is not supposed to have stimulation more than four hours at a time because reasons. how does the vagina hold up to a long beating?
do you really think piv sex lasts for four hours
>mens tits can make millk yeah?
yes

>>7334662

I never crossdressed since I was too anxious for it. But I did read a lot of things on trans people in middle school and there was a moment where my father was talking to me and I thought to myself that he shouldn't have had children. A person like him who can't accept his child as they came and raise them correctly should not have been allowed to have children in the first place. I got really angry with him. I had recently read a Daily Mail article on Kim Petras at the time, an early transitioner, which was why I reacted that way.

>>7334727

The only way to know for sure is to try. Then, even if you don't pass as female in the end, you'll still feel better on HRT, so don't give up.

I'm new here please explain the meanings of these things

what da heck is agp
what da heck is a hon
what da heck does it mean to be repressed

>>7335115
AGP is an outdated diagnosis that used to mean you weren't really trans, you were just a fetishist. Nowadays it's mostly used just to say you're turned on by the idea of being a woman, which could or could not mean you are trans.

A hon is a 4chan term for an ugly non-passing trans person. It came from the stereotype of trannys calling everyone "hun"/"hon"/"honey".

Repressed means you are trans but refuse to accept it because you are either transphobic or scared of being trans.

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>>7335178
thank

Can I get hrt without losing my penis?

>>7334727
I put transition off until 23 after much back and forth with myself.
Its been almost exactly a year and I consider it the best decision I ever made.
I still have a long ways to go but have come very far and am finally feeling better about my body.

>>7335277
Yup

>>7335277
My penis functions perfectly after 7 months of HRT. I can't ejaculate though.

>>7335277
It's my understanding that if you continue to use your dick regularly after starting HRT you'll minimize shrinking/loss of function, but no matter what you do some amount of shrinking is unavoidable.

I have been repressing being transgender for a couple years and lately I notice feeling kind of hollow. I have been losing interest in things I liked – I used to love reading but I haven’t read a book in months. I also used to like playing videogames but I just feel mildly bored when playing them. I also used to go to the gym (I ran on the treadmill) to be in shape but I have lost all motivation because I think that I will always hate how I look. I waste a lot of time, waiting for days to pass, just watching YouTube videos and shitposting on 4chan. I never go out because I am not interested in dating anyone (I am somewhat attracted to men but do not feel comfortable dating with my body) and I don’t enjoy going to social events where I will see a lot of girls my age and feel jealous and depressed and be treated like I’m male and end up feeling anxious about how I look.

Does anyone relate? Is this depression? Will HRT help?

>>7336722
I 100% relate to it.

I hate going anywhere and doing thing because I'll never be or look like a girl, what's the point? And I just see girls my age and get extremely jealous.

>>7336722
What you wrote is pretty much me.

Starting hrt made me feel better for a while, and I'm much happier with my body now, but I still feel empty. I'm getting AD's soon so hopefully that will help.

What's the chance that my hairline will get worse while on hrt + blocker + finasteride?

Maybe it's just hormonal and temporary, but I'm really scared.

what anti androgen is the best? what wrecks my peepee and sex drive the least?

>>7338678
GnRH medications such as Lupron and Goserelin are the best as they're equivalent to castration.

Bicalutamide may be best to preserve sex drive but it's not a GnRH.

>>7338055
Very unlikely on all those.

I've been talking to my family and doctor about me questioning, but I keep prefacing by saying it might not be it, and that I'm unhappy for some other reason, a reason that seems to keep changing each time I talk to someone. Even though I say that it might not be it, when they deny that it could be it it sucks the life out of me, and when they acknowledge that it might be it I get hyped back up again. My doctor also wants to try an antidepressant as well.

Any former repressive do this? Should I be concerned that it will pull me off track or should I keep looking for other causes?

>>7338945
I hope that is the case.

>>7338055
>>7338945
Doesn't it usually cause you to shed the old hairs in the places it starts regrowing first until the hair's growing all healthy and on a proper shedding cycle?
If you're having hair loss on all of those, that could be part of it.
Keep in mind I'm no authority on this and I could easily be mistakenly talking out my ass.

Few questions about tucking

1. Does it hurt?
2. If I don't tape anything will my friends just drop back down (this also leads to question 3)
3. Can my friends get stuck in there?

The idea of tucking freaks me out so I want to be assured before I attempt it

>>7341817
>calling them friends
they are not your friends, they produce testosterone
also no it doesn't hurt, you don't have to tape them (I do though because it works for me)
no, they can't get stuck in there, just push on your abdomen and they should get back down if they don't fall back out themselves

>>7341983
The only other thing is that I can't figure out is where exactly down there you're supposed to push them up into

>>7342197
back and up

>>7341817
>>7341817
>1. Does it hurt?
If you're keep pushing them in and out it can get sore after a while. If you're sensible you'll be fine.
>2. If I don't tape anything will my friends just drop back down (this also leads to question 3)
You don't have to tape them, it can help though.
>3. Can my friends get stuck in there?
No.

>>7342197
It can be kind of difficult to find the spot, I find standing with legs apart is easiest.

Also just fyi, your testicles shrink on hrt, I've found that they fall out more easily now.

I just got an email from QHI saying my first order has started shipping. When can I expect it to arrive, and is there a way I can track it closer than the tracker on the website (I really don't want someone to find the package before I do)

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Hi guys,

I made a thread for this but I think it's more appropriate to post it here.

I've had moderate dysphoria for the last two years, I'm definitely on the trans spectrum, but I do not want to transition. I have taken to using hard drugs to suppress the dysphoria, which is very effective. The drug that is most helpful is (meth)amphetamines.

What I want to know is: Did anyone else use this strategy to suppress dysphoria? Are there less harmful drugs that will produce the same effect? I'd love to hear from other people who did what I am trying to do.

Thanks for your time.

>>7341983
>they are not your friends, they produce testosterone

I was going to say something similar.

>>7341983
>>7342898
I suppose I should have said this in the first place, I'm a male that will be crossplaying a female character (in a serious sense not a joking one) and came here to ask about the tucking process since its a common thing amongst trans folks

>>7342863
like two weeks to a month

>>7338755
ah, so, if i took bica how much would i have to take to get an effective AA dose? i just want the blocking effect with minimal pee pee wrecking

>>7347576
are you not planning to supplement with estrogen?

>>7347588
yes i am, unless theres a way i could do only an AA without my bones breaking for just until i can move out

>>7347844
not that anon, but estrogen wrecks your penis

>>7347883
This. And the effects are unavoidable.

I like being a but I want to start hrt just to look more feminine, not because im actually trans, is this a bad thing?

>>7348016
*i like being a guy, but....
is what i meant to say

>>7348016
you will grow breasts and become infertile

>>7347883
>>7347892
dont some AAs stop MPB though?

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>>7348050
dht causes mpb, not testosterone

take finasteride or dutasteride for that

>>7348047
good

>>7348058
why does HRT without duta or fina help some people with MPB then?

>>7348075
it's not male pattern baldness

>>7348075
DHT is produced from T, so lowering your T also lowers DHT.

I tried HRT for half a year when I was 19, but then let my parents talk me out of it and I've been keeping it pushed down . I'm sure things are past the point of no return now, but what is the general outlook for someone who's 30 now if they were to start HRT again? Stopping and hoping everything would just go away was the dumbest thing I've ever done.

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>>7348409
much, much better than if you wait another ten years
and slightly better than most people who start at 30 due to the previous estrogen -- lynn conway did the same thing as you and turned out pretty well for 30
and ffs can solve a lot, see pic related

>>7348416
That's... actually incredibly motivating. I've been on the verge of throwing in the towel for months because the idea of completely failing to pass was paralyzing, but if there's even a chance, then it's worth trying. Thank you.

I have put off dealing with my feelings for a long time and was finally pushed into talking to a therapist by my wife recently. She has known i cd in private but is very clear she could never love me if i were not a man. I think she was hoping i would come back from therapy convinced im cis but it isnt like that... Now she wants me to stop before the therapist "destroys us".
Im already 28 and used to being miserable and hating myself. I think repression is my only option.
What should I talk to my therapist about in my last session?

>>7348560
leave your wife
if you do not destroy 'us', she will destroy you

>>7348560
You're clearly not going to be happy not transitioning. You can't put yourself through a life of misery (and probably just transition anyway later, like all the other middle aged-hons who were in situations like yours and repressed) just to satisfy another, even if you care about them and you transitioning would hurt them. They should understand why you're doing what you're doing and why it's necessary, even if they don't like it.

I don't know how you'd do so, but you need to get her to understand that you're already trans (that's why you're in this situation); going to a therapist and trying to solve it isn't what's making you trans, and pretending it doesn't exist won't make it go away. Tell her how bad you feel. Make her understand gender dysphoria does not go away without transition.

>>7328427
It depends on your country, here in Norway you HAVE to do RLE to get on HRT.
Shit sucks.

>>7328427
Self-medicate. See the HRT general.

>>7328427
If you go private you won't need to do RLE.

Otherwise you can self-med or try faking it.

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>try mascara for the first time in my life
>look at myself in the mirror
>hey_thats_pretty_good.jpg
>actually happy(-ier than normal) to see myself in the mirror
>okay time to wipe it off
>I try to rub it off with water
>gives me the crying-with-makeup face
>this triggers my dysphoria HARD
>go back to my room and cry for 15 minutes

please put me out of my misery

>>7349431
That's a shame.
I fell asleep with my mascara on one of the first time I wore it and I thought the running mascara looked kind of cool. Like in a punk way.
Of course mine wasn't from full on water or crying, just natural wetness and a bit of rubbing making it run.

But yeah, mascara is fucking awesome and don't let how shitty it looks coming off discourage you from putting it on.

>>7349431

>gives me the crying-with-makeup face
>this triggers my dysphoria HARD

Why would you have that reaction?

>>7349442
>>7349455
it looked like I was an actual girl for a second, I dunno
I cried because I would never look like that

Hi all!

So, I'm planning on self-medicating for HRT for a while. I have a t blocker and estrogen coming in the mail.

How long do you think I can take these without people noticing? I'm not telling anyone. How long until results would become obvious?

>>7349741
That depends on how it personally affects you. The big things is breasts of course, which can be hidden pretty well with certain clothing. If you want to, you should be able to conceal yourself until you are comfortable with someone noticing. Everything else will be very gradual changes so they won't be outright noticeable as you change over time.

>>7349750
Awesome. I wear pretty baggy clothing, so I think I can get away with it for a while. How long does it take for breasts to get to the point where they'd need to be hid?

>>7349753
Depends on genetics and how old you are, and on what clothes you can reasonably wear. Even when they do become visible when you're concealing them as best you can, people won't necessarily notice; they won't be expecting you to grow breasts nor be paying much attention.

>>7349870
>Depends on genetics and how old you are
I'm going to be straight out and say i'm almost 17

Is this good or bad as far as breast development goes?

>I know I will get banned for saying that, yes

>>7350108
B& or not, thats an incredible age to start. You'll do just fine anon, just make sure every few months that your levels are doing fine, don't squander the chance.

>>7350108
That's pretty good. You really can't say though unless you're like 12 and therefore effectively cis for this purpose. You're more likely to get fully developed breasts, but there are still people who start at that age who don't reach Tanner V.

Also if you were always going to have small breasts anyway even if you were cis female then your breasts are going to be small here.

The way I see it, you're going to transition anyway so you just have to deal with it whenever it comes. You'll probably turn out passable so the issue is with unaccepting people rather than with looking like an obvious tranny.

>>7350108
I doubt you'll get B&.

I started blockers just before 17 and started hrt just after. My experience has been:
>after 1 month on hrt - nipples feel sore
>after 2 months - minor breast grown
>after 4 months - enough growth that I started wearing a sports bra (I probably didn't need to, but I'm super self conscious)
[spoiler]Currently @ 6mo[/spoiler]

>>7350130
Thank you anon, I'll get a blood test around febuary.
>>7350131
Wonderful!

And yeah, true. I'm just overexcited.

I wouldn't personally want boobs bigger than a b or c cup, I think.
>>7350148
I've been banned for a month for admitting to being b8 on other boards. Not too worried, in any case. Thank you for sharing your experiences! I really don't want to wear a bra.

>>7350194
>I've been banned for a month for admitting to being b8 on other boards
>admitting to being b8 on other boards

I'm sorry, what?

>>7350224
underage b8

as in, i said I wasn't 18 and got banned for a month on r9k a few times

>>7350269
Oh right. Oops, sorry.
I didn't sleep well and I'm not thinking properly.

>>7335326
>functions perfectly
Did it impair your brain as well?

Sorry that was mean. Do you mean ejaculate but still orgasm?

Hiii

I've got my first laser consultation coming up this Wednesday and on the letter they sent me it says to not shave for a while before so they can get baseline pictures and assess me or something. How long should I not shave for? Like, from the morning before and the morning of?

You probably shouldn't shave at all until after your appointment, the more you grow it out the more they can get an idea of where your hair is and the easier it is for the laser to get rid of it.

>>7350816
Was supposed to be to
>>7350811

>>7310781
Why do so many trans women look like shit? I just started hormones but I'm so afraid that I'll just end up looking like an abomination. Is there anything I can do?

>>7314841
I never had to do this at my laser place, is this normal?

>Woke up this morning and dysphoria went away

Why does it have to do this? Why can't it just stay there?

>>7351703
Why do so many trans women look like shit?
age, genetics, effort put into appearance, voice.

I want to transition but should I lose weight beforehand. I weigh about 230 lbs and I'm only 5'7. I hear it is harder to lose weight while transitioning and your fat won't be redistributed into a more feminine figure. Does this mean I should lose as much weight as possible before starting to transition? Should I delay transition for the purpose of losing weight?

>>7351999
God, I hate the fucking confusion too. It almost makes me question everything all over again when it does that.

>>7352884
You should lose weight, don't delay your transition for it though. It's harder to lose weight while on hrt, but not impossible.

>>7352884
Yes, because permanent masculinisation is better than being fat for longer.

>>7351999
>>7352925

So it's not just me? I don't know if I'm glad to hear that or if it just makes it that much worse.

>>7353509
It happens to almost every trans person. Many of those people cling onto that as proof that they aren't really trans, semi-deliberately ignoring the fact that it always comes back.

Basically, "cis people don't have gender dysphoria at all; you're obviously trass even if it's not there all the time (just like you still suffer from depression even if you're okay sometimes).

>>7353852
you can't tell for sure, but your balls most likely aren't fucked with just 4 months of hrt, even with cypro

>>7354078
When I have bigger problems my dysphoria gets worse and I spend the day crying in bed
Fml

>>7354078
Define "disappear". If it comes back (because you were just temporarily distracted, as is normal when important things happen) then obviously it's still a problem.

>>7351991
Not sure, I'm an ausfag if that helps. It would makes sense though given that stuff like accutane makes your skin weak and laser would be hell

>>7355240
You're not allowed to have laser until 6 months after having finished taking accutane. If you don't follow this you get permanent scarring due to severe burns.

Hey all!

I'm about to start these two to begin my transition.

Calutide - 50mg (Bicalutamide)
Progynova - 2 mg (Estradiol)
(Also - in about 2 months, I'm switching from Bica to Cypro)

Can anyone help me work out how much a starting dose for both would be?

Should I start the Bica before I take the estradiol? When do I up the dosage?

Thank you!

>>7355491
Start your AA for about two weeks before E, that way any side effects caused by the AA can be seperated from those of E should even experience any, that's all I got. Sorry pham

>>7355570
Thank you. Any word on what dosage I should start with?

>>7356027
Not idea, sorry. Get a blood test done before you start E and see if your T is within female range. Get the test done as soon as possible after waking up in the morning and do not eat before hand, this will give you a more accurate read for T. Best bet would be to follow a /HRTG/ guide if you can't access HRT through a clinic

I'm 65kg 180cm low BMI and I take 25mg Cypro if that helps

>>7356027
>>7356138
*Start with 50mg and get a blood test

>>7356138
>>7356142
Any idea what could happen if I decided to go in blind? I'm not 18, not sure that I can get a blood test. Is this unsafe?

>>7356191
All I can say is do your research. Gather all the information and guides you can. Look up the side effects for each medicine, ask your parents about any health conditions that run in the family if you don't already know. So long as you are reasonably healthy you should be okay.

>>7356256
Thank you for the help!

>>7356269
No worries, best of luck!

If I want to keep my penis from completely athrophying and stay big enough for a decent SRS, do I need to masturbate or just have erections? How often? I've been masturbating three times per week just to not let it shrink too much but if I can take it down to two or one I'll definitely do it.

>>7356519
erections, about once a week. At least that's what i've been doing for the past two years and my dick is still the same size.

>am pretty sure I'm trans
>taking hormones will most likely result in me being an inbetween freak that doesn't like like a man or a woman (and not in a cute way) or being obviously a tranny


what's the point even ?

no matter what I do I will suffer

>>7358473
>most likely
You haven't even started. It's your doubts talking.

>>7360598
Most mtfs don't end up passing.

I'd be starting at 19-21 years old, which is later.

It would just be whether I'm lucky enough genetically or not and I don't think I am.

>>7361037
>Most mtfs don't end up passing.
[citation needed]

>>7361092
They don't.


And if you go by /lgbt/ and /r/transpassing then it's even worse because some of them can pass in pictures but you know they don't pass in real life.

>>7361037
>I'd be starting at 19-21 years old, which is later.
As opposed to you breaking down and starting hormones at 30 or 40 when you definitely won't pass?

>>7361107
I'd probably kill myself before that and people repeat the whole "try hormones before you kill yourself to see if you pass" but I'm positive I won't pass, and my biggest fear is being seen as a freak that just looks like a man on hormones.

I don't want to look like a weird tranny to people.

>>7361037
Wait, you "would be" starting at 19-21? How old are you now? Holy shit get on them now

>>7361092
Every time I go on reddit and see posts where people talk about how they pass on asktg or how they're full time and i go through their post history and find pictures of them and they're gross and don't pass I die inside.

Most of them don't pass.


>>7361138
19 years six months old

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>>7361141
lol here is one I just found


This person says they "pass". So many of them proclaim that they "pass" but they end up looking like that, which isn't passing.

>>7361129
I'd say get on hormones anyway, just being on them can make you feel a lot better, and you don't have to socially transition if you don't want to. Realistically the only thing you'll have to worry are breasts, which are rather simple to hide.

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>>7361151
>but they end up looking like that, which isn't passing

Sure it is, she looks like an unattractive older lady. "Passing" doesn't mean "becoming a beautiful AGP dreamgirl" just that the average person takes it at face value that you are a woman.

>>7361103
>>7361141
your logic assumes every passing mtf would be involving themselves with the community
protip: most who can pass go stealth

>>7361220
This, I can't really talk since I'm not far enough along yet, but if I passed I wouldn't post what I look like online. Even if I didn't pass I wouldn't post myself online.

I avoid the trans community like the plauge, if I'm stuck as a tranny forever I'll just an hero

>>7361220
>>7361245
This just seems like some bullshit you say to make people feel better.

"there are tons of passing trannies out there you just don't see them because they are stealth"

>>7361290
>I can't see it so it doesn't exist
that's what you sound like rn

>>7361328
Yeah but there is no proof. I don't have to see it, just have some indication that it is there.

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I identify as an Apache attack helicopter. How do I begin my transition? I just want to be able to be myself and don't know where to get started.

>>7361341
There's plenty of proof
Do you understand why people think you're retarded when you assume you can always tell when someone's trans or not?

>>7361364
hold up is that chris dorner

>>7361191
>"Passing" doesn't mean "becoming a beautiful AGP dreamgirl" just that the average person takes it at face value that you are a woman.

I agree with this, however, women with the type face and upper bodies ALWAYS have proportionate hips. Legs are fine here, but the lack of hips on this frame is a dead give away

>>7361191
she's also 6'5

she doesn't pass lol

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Hey guys.
Im 18 years old ,male,and want to be more feminine(face,voice,body). Do you have any tips? Im not sure about this HRT stuff because i heard it can be dangerous, and my parents. Also where can i meet someone?lopking for bf

Thanks :)

>>7361151
Why does her face look photoshopped on

What the fuck

Even my ugly hon face at least fits.

Why do I feel like my life is basically hopeless and I'm doomed to a shitty existence until I kill myself because I'm trans ?

>>7361341
around the early 2000s there was a wave of long-term stealth women coming back out online, and there are more people transitioning and going stealth after than there was in the 70s and 80s

>>7363951
go on HRT

>>7363951
There are risks to MtF HRT, which you should look into, but assuming you're otherwise healthy they are small and manageable, especially when you're monitored by a doctor. Many people self-medicate just fine. If you don't have any other medical problems that could interact with the HRT (e.g. diabetes, high risk of thrombosis), then you can just make sure you get the dosages right and you'll be okay.

Ask in the HRT general.

While you should consider transitioning carefully, also take into account that inaction is doing something; you're getting permanently more masculine the longer you're not on HRT.

If you're 18 your doctor doesn't have to tell your parents anything, so you don't hav to worry about them finding out (though you might have to explain all the visits). You can also self-medicate using an online pharmacy (and get it delivered to a PO box or a trusted person if you still live with them and don't want them seeing the package).

What country/state are you in?

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>>7365582
Hi thanks for answering:)
I dont have any allergies or other problems. I dont know how to self medicate but i assume there are guides or other instrictions. im from germany Thanks :)

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I've got a few dumb questions for someone thinking about taking Bica/Estrofem

Will taking Bica/Estrofem cause me to develop a 'gay voice' or will it not be as severe? I've got a pretty deep voice right now if that's any indicator.

Also wondering if part way into HRT, say for example a few months that I decide it's not for me, can I stop and end up looking similar to how I was pre-HRT or will the effects of HRT on looks be permanent?

Last thing I'm wondering is how severe "Testicle shrinkage" is and if it even occurs on people taking Bica instead of, say, spiro.

>>7365736
Ask here if you have questions: >>7341709 (Cross-thread)

I think in Germany you won't be given HRT before you transition socially for a while (which would be things like changing your name, wearing female clothes in public, and other bullshit), so you should self-medicate. You should still start the official process though, since that will take time. At worst you can just refuse or lie when they ask you to.

There are many online pharmacies where you can get HRT without a prescription, though I don't know which ones ship to Germany (some definitely do). There's no single drug combination or dosage that's best for everyone, so different people will recommend different things, but more or less any of them are fine. You should look into the advantages and disadvantages of each.

If I had to arbitrarily tell you what to take, I'd say:
50mg cyproterone acetate once per day, and 2mg of oestradiol hemihydrate (AKA Estrofem) or oestradiol valerate (AKA Progynova) once per day. They're all tablets. Take the cyproterone on its on for a few days so if you have an allergic reaction you know it's that, then add the oestrogen. After a month or so (or after a blood test, if you can get one, which shows your oestrogen levels are too low), increase the oestrogen dose to 4mg (which you can split into 2 sets of 2mg to keep your levels more consistent, but it's okay to just take it all at once).

But again, research all this yourself.

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>want to self-med HRT
>getting excited because I'm getting brave enough
>read about blood clot risks
>tfw family history of blood clots
I feel like my hope has been snatched away. B-Back to repression for me.

Recc a locked chest I can hide some trans stuff in that's not too conspicuous?

>>7365898

Don't give up, anon. Your case just requires that you see a doctor instead of self-medding.

>>7365898
Lol fuck that shit. That myth was literally spread to prevent potential cuties like you from self-medding. How old are you, still a teenager? You'll be fine

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>>7365822
Thank you very much :)

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>>7365736
>>7365822
>>7366034
German tranny here.
Anon already gave you good advice, but you do not have to do the so called "Alltagstest" (everyday test) in Germany anymore, which required to live in the female social role for 1 to 1,5 years before you get HRT. There are still some advocates for this test left in Germany and they may have some power over you, but you can simply avoid most of them.

In order to get on HRT in Germany you have to find a psychotherapist, who is specialized on transsexual issues. These people give you a paper for the endocrinologist. An "everyday test" is not required for going through this procedure, but you have to find both a psychotherapist and an endocrinologist, who are willing to do this. Usually, you just have to find a good psychotherapist. That should be your main goal. He or she will know trans-friendly endocrinologists, who will induce HRT and send you to them.

It shouldn't take too much time to get on HRT legally by doing this.

If you still consider self-medding, there are some things you should consider in Germany, too.

You can ask me anything, anon, if you want to.

>>7366061
Wie lange machst du das schon? Und ändert sich das gesicht und die stimme sehr?

>>7365898
Oestrogen injections or patches have a significantly lower risk of blood clots and have the same feminising effects os tablets.

>>7366253

>inb4 too pussy to inject

>>7366196
Ich nehme Hormone und Antiandrogene seit fast 3 Jahren, Anon. Ich war ein paar Jahre älter als du, als ich angefangen habe.
Mein Gesicht hat sich sehr stark verändert. Das ist im Nomralfall immer so. Die Fettverteilung ändert sich sehr stark. Sogar die Augen werden oder wirken nach einiger Zeit größer.

Leider muss ich dich enttäuschen, was die Stimme angeht. Die Stimme ändert sich nämlich überhaupt nicht bei Mann-zu-Frau-Transsexuellen. Hier bestehen zwei Möglichkeiten: Eine Operation, die - das ist leider so - überhaupt nicht ungefährlich ist und zum Totalverlust der Stimme führen kann oder logopädisches Training. Ich habe mich damals für die Logopädie entschieden und bin mit dem Ergebnis super zufrieden. Allerdings musst du hierzu regelmäßig üben und darfst nicht früh aufgeben. Die Kosten für das Stimmtraining übernimmt im Übrigen deine Krankenkasse. Du musst nur einen trans-freundlichen HNO-Arzt finden, der dir die Stunden aufschreibt. Vorher solltest du allerdings einen Psychotherapeuten sehen, den du dem HNO nennen kannst.

Welche Haar- und Hautfarbe hast du? Die Barhaare dauerhaft zu entfernen, wäre einer der ersten wichtigsten Schritte.

>>7366269
Danke für die antwort :)
Bin blond und weiß. Wie lange hat dein stimmtraining gedauert? Und kann ich dich persönlich irgendwo adden?

>>7366312
Ich bin in keinen sozialen Netzwerken. Meine E-Mail würde ich dir ja geben, aber die hier zu posten wäre etwas ungünstig, da sie dann jeder sehen kann.

Zu denen Sachfragen:
Zuerst die gute Nachricht. Wenn du blonde Barthaare hast, müssten deine Barthaare per Nadelepilation (englisch: electrolysis) entfernt werden. Hierzu benötigt man sehr viele Sitzungen, die auch lange dauern. Je nach Menge der Barthaare, wirst du wohl leider über 100 Stunden (vielleicht sogar mehr) im Laserstudio verbringen müssen. Bei dunklen Haaren und heller Haut wäre das Ganze leichter gewesen, weil man in diesem Fall ein anderes Verfahren (die Epilation mit Lasertechnologie) verwenden kann, das schnell aber, anders als die Nadelepilation, auch enorm schmerzhaft ist. Da helle Haare kein Melanin enthalten, wird das in deinem Fall aber leider nicht möglich sein, das schnelle Verfahren anzuwenden. Dafür hast du dann eben weniger Schmerzen. Wichtig wäre es, so früh wie möglich mit der Bartepilation zu beginnen.
Hier die gute Nachricht: Du kannst jetzt schon deinen Bart, wenn er gründlich rasiert ist, für recht lange Zeit "verstecken", weil ein blonder Bartschatten nicht so schnell durchscheint. Dunkle Barthaare kann man auch bei bester Rasur und viel Make-Up nach ein paar Stunden nicht mehr verstecken. Also hat es auch einen Vorteil, blonde Barthaare zu haben.
Was die Kostenübernahme der Bartepilation über die Krankenkasse angeht, gibt es auch ein paar Problemchen, aber nichts, was dich stoppen sollte.

Bei mir hat es ca. 6 Monate gedauert, bis meine Stimme angenehm weiblich klang. Aber ich habe auch nicht an allen Tagen geübt und war etwas faul. ^^ Du musst eben eine gute Logopädin finden, die sich auf Fälle wie uns spezialisiert.

>>7366418
Wow du bist echt super,woher kommst du?:D

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How do you deal with tits, /hongen/? My boobs keep getting larger meanwhile I have a rugged alpha male face. I need to make them invisible asap.

>>7366433
Danke =D
NRW.
Hier ist im Übrigen noch ein guter Link:
http://www.txkoeln.de/infothek/lexikon/psychotherapie.htm
Nicht alles, was auf txkoeln.de steht, ist richtig. Aber was sie da über die Psychotherapie etc. schreiben, stimmt. Im Allgemeinen lässt sich sagen, dass halt viel beim eigenen Ermessen der Therapeuten und Ärzte liegt.
Du brauchst im Grunde genommen nur die richtigen Adressen und viel Energie. Dann klappt das schon.

>>7366453
Wie hast du das deinen eltern gesagt?

Und mal was anderes, wo kann ich in deutschland traps und so finden?

>>7333654
I just bought an epilator. What is the difference between expensive and cheap ones?

>>7366501
No idea sorry, I just bought the one with good reviews. Was around £40 I think?

>>7366506
>>7366501
I fucked up in >>7333654

It should say
>Electrolysis on face (and crotch eventually)

Don't epilate your face, it can make electrolysis less effective.

>>7366490
Ich habe es meinen Eltern einzelnd gesagt, weil ich nicht wusste, wie mein Vater reagiert. Als ich mich geoutet habe, war ich ziemlich direkt und habe auch erklärt, was ich vor habe. Das war für beide einerseits ein Schock, aber beiden war klar, dass ich schon immer anders war.
Als gut und richtig hat es sich erwiesen, dass ich erklärt habe, wie sehr ich darunter leide und dass ich dringend etwas daran ändern muss. Und auch, dass ich dagegen nichts machen kann. Vielleicht möchtest du das ja im Hinterkopf behalten.

Was genau meinst du mit Traps, Anon? Transsexuelle oder Jungs, die sich nur aus Spaß als Mädchen verkleiden?

>>7366519
Why electrolysis on your crotch? Women have hair there too.
Also laser is better if you're lucky enough to have dark hair and fair skin.

>>7366563
I find body hair disgusting, I hate how it looks and how it feels.

Laser would probably work better down there, but I'm still on the fence as to whether I'm going to get SRS. If I do go for it I'll need to have electro done.

>>7366563
You don't want to end up like those anons, who have hair growing out of their neovag. (I'm not that anon you're responding to btw)

>>7366601
What are the chances of that happening? Couldn't I just remove the offending hairs after srs instead of nuking the entire crotch and end up looking like a child?

>>7366620

You do know where women grow pubic hair out of and what parts of the male genitalia will be put on the interior, don't you? If you know those two things, you wouldn't ask that question.

>>7366643
The foreskin, correct?

>>7366657

Just wondering, do you live in a state with adequate sex education? Have you looked into SRS before? Have you seen a woman naked?

>>7366554
So jungen die sehr weiblich sind also anders gefragt, wo find ich jemanden?

>>7310781

I didn't realize I had a lot of questions until I recently spoke with a trans friend of mine whose doing really well for himself after a year on treatment. Granted, I've noticed FtM tends to go a lot more favorably.

I'm MtF, haven't started yet.

> I was a bass in choir (could still sing tenor fine); am I figgety-fucked?
> Does an endocrinologist require that you provide proof of residency (provided that you're paying out of pocket for medication)?
> wat do about broad shoulders tho???
> Where do I go to get my name-changed and how does that whole thing work?
> Links to places I could go to learn makeup on my own and how to properly do hair? (I feel like I missed out on some sort of basic guidelines that normal people follow for maintaining nice hair).
> How expensive is voice therapy? Is it something I can just learn online?

Sorry for all of the questions; they don't all need to be answered. The day is coming soon when I'll actually be able to schedule appointments and start treatment, and the closer it's getting, the more anxious I am.

>>7366674
Da kann ich dir leider nicht weiterhelfen. =(

>>7366673
Can't you just get straight to the point instead of being coy about it?

>>7366704
Macht nix :) bist du single?

>>7327355
I appreciate your interest in Medicine, despite your situation.

>>7366713
they use your scrotum skin.

>>7366770
Those don't go on the inside. They are outside and become labia.

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What do you think about Andreja's Oxford Union Q&A, /lgbt/?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcAljNNKROU

Some more specific questions you might want to think about:

>Is she dressed appropriately for the occasion in your opinion?

>Do you like her marxist-leninist vocabulary and worldview?

>Do you think that Donald Trump is literally a facist and "that fascism is on the rise" in the western world?

>Why are the rating of the video so bad?

Please discuss.

>>7366769
Beautiful Disintegrating Brains.

>>7366828
I'm sorry! That went wrong and got posted in the top thread.

You can find the OxfordUnion Q&A-thread here:
>>7366834

>>7366699

>I was a bass in choir (could still sing tenor fine); am I figgety-fucked?

It would appear you're not automatically screwed.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1252478/Transsexual-singer-wins-music-school-place-switching-voice-baritone-soprano.html

>Does an endocrinologist require that you provide proof of residency (provided that you're paying out of pocket for medication)?

Country or state residency? In the US, I don't think it matters either way.

>wat do about broad shoulders tho???

Dress accordingly.

>Where do I go to get my name-changed and how does that whole thing work?

At superior court of the county in which you reside if you're in the US. Look up name change in your state. California has this neat bit of law where if your name change is for gender identity purposes, you don't need to publish it in a newspaper. A published announcement for a name change in a newspaper would necessarily include something like "Vincent Greene to assume the name of Erica Greene." So obviously, that sort of thing isn't very private.

>Links to places I could go to learn makeup on my own and how to properly do hair? (I feel like I missed out on some sort of basic guidelines that normal people follow for maintaining nice hair).

I can't help you there.

>How expensive is voice therapy? Is it something I can just learn online?

It is something you can learn online.

>>7366800

That is the penile inversion method. There is also Suporn's own method, which does use the scrotal skin for the vagina.

>>7335670
Will I still be able to orgasm if I don't use my dick during HRT? (how) does an orchi affect that?

I want to at least be able to cum anally, I really don't care about size that much.

>>7365952
pls help
https://www.amazon.com/Seward-Trunk-College-Storage-Footlocker/dp/B004835DI4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1481150308&sr=8-3&keywords=lock+chest
would this get me question

>>7367146
It depends on your parents (or whoever you're living with).

Unless your parents go through your things you could probably just hide them inside a box in a closet or something. Buying a storage box would look more suspicious than just hiding them well.

>>7367146
Just use an amazon box or shoebox and keep it in your closet, under your bed, or wherever you keep a bunch of miscellaneous shit.

Unless you have super invasive parents who will search your shit hiding it in plain sight is the most effective method

>>7365952
I used my shoeboxes to hide stuff before I came out to my parents.

Questioning and also in early stages of hair loss here:

I'm curious about self medding with AAs to see if I feel any different about my body but I don't know if stuff like spiro or bica works like finasteride in regrowing hair. I've only gained a slight widows peak but my crown is at like 60% of what it should be. I'm 21 if that's relevant to answering this dumb shit.

>>7367198
>>7367158
My mom snoops, any suggestions for a box with a fake ending?

>>7367506
Can you do some light woodworking without getting caught? It would be pretty effective to put a false back or bottom in a dresser drawer.

>>7367556
I could but I have no idea how

ok, a string of events got me checking the op here and now I'm questioning if being trans is the thing that was wrong with me all the time (because multiple thing in the 'am i?' section click in), or if i'm just a TG fetishist...

> randomize a character for a one shot RPG session, character is randomized female, one shot ends up being multiple sessions. Loved playing as female.
> brought back home really tired by a friend, 'i'd be really cute right now if i was a girl'
> told I'll have to fly to the usa for work reasons, fantazise on getting TG-ed while sleeping in the plane and have to roll with it.
> somehow some of my body fat moved to my chest, toy with the idea of that growing boobies for like 3 days, then feel really stupid.
> get a bad case of 'the blues' (which usually makes me go to bed and cry while listening to emotional trance music), ends up checking /lgbt instead for some reasons

and more generically:
> TF fetishist, but never imagined myself transforming in anything male
> 90 % of game i play, i play as a female character
> buy dark souls 2, exceptionaly make male character, ends up finding about sex change coffin, try to access it for 5 hours before giving up.
> neutral name, got teased because of it very much in school (school times are pretty much a black out in my memory i'd rather not remember)
> always fantasized about how being female would feel, as far as i can remember
i pretty confused right now.

>>7367713
>tfw forgot to turn off trip for last reply

It's not too difficult to make a false bottom. You'll need four blocks of equal height attached to the bottom corners of the drawer to hold it up. Depending on the depth of the drawer this can be anywhere from a fraction of an inch to a few inches in height without looking suspicious. Then you make the fake bottom. This is just a slab of wood that is the size of the bottom so that it slides in vertically to hide the compartment - ideally it should match the original bottom visually. Add a small screw/nail or other inconspicuous handle so you can pull one end up to pull the bottom out.

False backs are a bit more tricky but provide more room, but I don't think I could convey how to make one through text.

>>7365801
mtf hrt won't do shit for voice
you can do a few months and you'll be fine, unless you develope tiddies in that time
dunno about testes with bica, but with cypro it's insane, probably about 2/3 the size in only 2 months. it's great T B H

>>7367146
bruh you could buy a plastic tote for like $5 and that costs 50

way too expensive

>>7368180
Uh I want it to be subtle

>>7368255
How big does it need to be?

If it can be smaller, you could get something like a small firebox for documents, you can also keep documents in it as well as hormones and stuff.

It would be too small for stuff like clothes though.

>>7368293
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004VG9LHW/ref=ox_sc_act_title_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A1K47NTEV3KRFV
i think im getting this, dont need much

do any mtf play with their 'clit' subconsciously when they masturbate?
I do, although I have a penis.

>>7368497
and as per usual, no answer...

>>7368578
Use appropriate terms, are you trying to say butt?

>>7368643
no, I mean the ballsack. I subconsciously ride my finger around the area, where a biological woman would have a clitoris. also when I see women getting fucked vaginally, I feel a sensation around the area where the vaginal hole would be.

>>7368497
>>7368688
I'm guessing you mean Perineum it's a sensitive area for men so i'm guessing you can get enjoyment out of it seems kinda nasty though, also calling something down there something it isn't is FUCKING DISGUSTING.

>>7367734
Keep exploring your feelings, might be trans, might not be. How do you feel about getting more masculine as you age? Would you be okay if you transitioned but weren't attractive? Would putting up with the bullshit you see women get be worth it so long as people saw you as a woman? Do your male secondary sex characteristics make you uncomfortable?

so how do you trannys feel about having a higher chance of getting cancer

>>7368912
feels fucking good, maybe i don't have to pull the trigger myself

>>7368912
I've already accepted that everything can give you cancer.

>>7368912
>having a higher chance of getting cancer

That's the thing: I don't.

>>7368688
Yeah, you're not alone anon. Phantom vag masturbation is a thing.

>>7369390
can confirm
no touch feminine benis

>>7366882
I don't go to Suporn, though.

>>7367315
Cypro reduces testosterone levels so there's less to convert to dihydrotestosterone one would think.

>>7367315
>>7369698
A small amount of T can create a lot of DHT, and DHT is more potent of an androgen compared to testosterone. Don't stop at AAs, get on Finasteride or Dutasteride too.

>>7367734
As always, go see a specialist. 4channers can't give you medical or psychological advice.

Also don't be that retard who keeps "questioning" for years and years when they need to transition.

I live in europe and I went to my general practitioner and asked for a referral a month after I encountered information about being trans. It took an entire year to go through bullshit to actually meet a specialist and by that time I had already thought everything through and was quite certain already, just needed a second opinion.

>>7369709
Why isn't every MtF given finasteride?

>>7369735
Could be because of a variety of reasons.

Get blood work done to check your DHT levels on regular AAs/Estrogen to see if Fin or Duta is necessary.

>>7368884
i can't really imagine how I would look as I age at all, for some reason... I mean, it feels like i can't imagine what i 'should' look like, yet i can imagine a ton of what i 'could' look like depending on whatever possiblities are given to me, yet in none of any i am 'older'... Maybe i need to think about that for longer.
Yes
Yes
Squareness of face and deep voice (that one didn't end as bad as it could have had, but really pissed me off cause i like singing) , first ones that i can think of.

Again, that made me remember something recent as well, which i don't know if it is related, but i wanted vocals for music i'm doing, and my first idea was to sing them myself then pass them trough vocodex to make them sound more feminine...
>>7369729
I have the equivalent of a freeway if i ever make a decision (handy contacts that can shunt me in the good direction should the need arise), so i'm not too worried.

I feel like there is too much correlating infos for that to be ignored, but i also feel like i'm fooling myself into believing that i'm something i'm not.

>>7370278
At the end of the day it's not actually complicated. Cis men don't want to be women and if you want to be a woman you are likely to be trans. The idea that you can think you're trans when you're not is largely a myth as far as I can tell. Yes, transtrenders exist but they are a different beast. Your list of things you do is pretty trans in my subjective opinion.

If it helps you can think back to some earlier moments where you think you can find evidence of you being trans.

Again, if you have a freeway then you can talk to a specialist. Second opinions is very valuable in my opinion.

>>7370310
Well, I guess that's the most damning, since most of what i remember before my school-induced mind blackout can be interpreted as evidence that go in that direction. Thanks!

So, I hate to do this but I'm here for repression advice. Not /pol/ so please take me seriously.

I'm definitely trans (MtF) but really, REALLY, don't want to transition. I'm a big guy for you and it would be very painful for me to try and pass. I've thought about the hormones without social transition route, but since I'm (mostly) attracted to women it would be a lot easier to find someone willing to accept I'm a dude who's sort of fucked up in the head than a dude with boobs and no balls who can't get erections. My body dysphoria is mostly stuff HRT wouldn't change anyways, so I'm not sure if it'll really help. Is this at all reasonable? What do?
>inb4 therapist
Pls.

>>7320103
Military anon here. Only talked to a few close friends and some therapists about my dysphoria. None of the therapists seem to know what to do with me.

>>7368912
Except we radically lower the chance of prostate (and testicular lol) cancer, while the risk of breast cancer doesn't seem to increase.

>>7371358
If you are trans then I strongly doubt you'll be able to maintain a relationship when your body disgusts you and you hate yourself because of not stopping your masculinisation (on top of being thought of as a man). Proportionally more partners may have a better opinion of you, but it won't matter. At least with the partners who accept you for being on HRT you won't want to die quite so much.

The fact that you have to transition to be happy is more or less a given.

>>7371516
I've given up on trying to be happy, anon.

I just want to live a somewhat decent, normal life, and distract myself from myself (I am not a wordsmith and my English is a fucking) with good people and nice things.

>>7371538
Living a decent life and not being happy seem mutually exclusive. Having a decent life requires you to not be deplessed and self-hating.

Distracting yourself from yourself is something pretty much every trans person tries to do. It works for a little bit, kind of (even though you feel good sometimes there are many periods of despair where you are forced to confront the nature of reality), but in can't last. In the end you transition anyway having gotten worse in the time you were waiting, or just kill yourself.

You should at least consider taking an antiandrogen on its own, and doing things like hair removal. Those won't make it obvious to others, and will also let you stop getting more masculine and improve slightly.

>>7371358
>My body dysphoria is mostly stuff HRT wouldn't change anyways, so I'm not sure if it'll really help
I know plenty of trans people who had huge issues with certain things but started growing more tolerant to them after starting hrt.

>>7371566
Melancholy can be quite comfortable, if not fulfilling. Self loathing is just a part of my life at this point, I've come to accept it. Doesn't mean I can't do things I enjoy.

I'm aware that you can't ignore reality, inconvenient as that may be, but becoming a hon and being happy with yourself requires much of the same. A different flavor of shit sandwich, if you will.

I'm also not a fan of osteoporosis and cancer.

>>7371580
Thank you both for your responses, not really sure what I'm expecting anyone to tell me that'll just make everything ok. Sorry.

What epilator to buy

>>7372143
I like my braun epilator.

>>7372343
What model do you have?

I have a silk-épil 7 and it's pretty good. The on switch can be annoying though.

>>7372378
I have model 9. I use it more as a bikini trimmer because epilating makes me look like a feathered chicken.

I need someone to convince me to overcome my anxiety and go get electro. I'm just scared because i'm presenting as male and feel sorta ashamed about identifying as trans when i look like this.

new thread:

>>7372798
>>7372798
>>7372798

>>7371358
Take HRT just to get test out of your system. I;m not taking HRT to feminise; I'm doing it because T poisons my mind