/ftmg/ female to male general

>>6830211
first post

>>6830211
I went through navy boot camp before getting kicked out last week AMA.

FTMs are nice people from what I've noticed.

How do I date FTM? What do you guys usually look for in a partner?
I'm a filthy fucking cis male btw.

>inb4 chaser or whatever the fuck you call it

>>6830343
Why did you get kicked out?

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>>6830373
as long as my partner can keep up an conversation, come with ideas on what to do for date nights, play videogames. If I can sleep on their shoulder while they work/play it's a plus.

>>6830591
That's what everyone says until they dump us for CHAD.

>>6830382
Excessive vomiting. I throw up like three times a day. I can't even drink one beer at all.

>>6830600
>CHAD
what, as long as I have a really good connection with them. Can talk about anything, i'll stab chad ? ? ?? ? ? ?.

>>6830615
I am just playing tbqh...im basically chad anyway because im smart funny muscular plus I can hold a conversation.

Im just looking for an FTM prince tbqh... ;~;

>>6830635
ah, im really dense to these things .. ''
I bet you'll find your prince someday, in time friend

>>6830640
Wanna be my prince? Ill make you laugh and ill pretend to like your favorite videogame.

>>6830650
I already have bf, but i'll be your friend qvq'

>>6830600
Eeehhh you should see a doctor for that. Pretty sure the body shouldn't be vomit comit.

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>>6830657
Doctors are for losers tbqh...

>>6830656
Its all good im just doing creepy funposting.

>>6830600
There are plenty of ftms who aren't interested in sex before having had surgery, so Chad's arguments for why he's superior can come off as weak shit.

Ugh, I hate my body's clock. I keep on consistently waking up at 6-8 AM. That would be fine if I had to go to school or had a job but I'm a NEET so it's just annoying waking up early for no reason.

>>6830373

I'm aro, but the same thing most guys are probably into. Clean, nice guys who playing video games/reading/watching anime/cooking/sports/enter-popular-hobby-here and aren't annoying.

Dunno about serving in the army but apparently someone got denied life insurance because they were trans.

>used to be 100% certain I was ftm
>for a while I've found myself mentally referring to myself as female or basically not-male

I hate gender identities.

>>6831055

That can't be legal.

>>6831061
Well it's not health insurance, just life insurance, that's what I think it's called. It's the kind where if you happen to die, your relatives or whatever will get a shitton of money.

>>6830796
>Ugh, I hate my body's clock. I keep on consistently waking up at 6-8 AM. That would be fine if I had to go to school or had a job but I'm a NEET so it's just annoying waking up early for no reason.

Dude, seize the day. I fucking wish I could wake up early, my body clock can have me waking up after fucking sunset if I'm not working. And when I am working, I'm stuck inside all day and can't take advantage of the early rise.

>>6831069

I know what life insurance is. That just sounds very discriminatory. I know laws don't protect trans people from being kicked out of jobs but being barred from life insurance seems like something else.

>>6831069

That makes even less sense. I get why trans people might be denied health insurance since it comes with different health issues than those expected of cis people (it's not necessarily right, but I get the concern). But life insurance? That just seems to be saying that a trans life is worth less than a cis life.

>>6831221
Statistically speaking, transpeople are more prone to suicide, drug abuse, prostitution and be exposed to violence in general. Because of this the insurance company is more likely to pay out than not pay out the life insurance.

Got a question for you guys, after top surgery and some time on T, what are your chest and hip measurements?

Ribcage size relative to hip size seems to be a huge difference between men and women.

The mtfs here seem quite dysphoric about their ribcages and hips.

>>6831190
>>6831221
Well I don't know how it works in other places but where I live you get a formal diagnosis if you're trans and the diagnosis was what stopped the person from getting their life insurance. My personal guess (which could be far from right) is that people with mental illness are more likely to do weird shit (kill themselves or just engage in risky behavior that could get them killed) and since trans is categorized as an identity disorder here (shitty, I know, but that's just how it works), it'd be treated the same as any other mental disorder when you try and apply for that shit and they just don't want to deal with mentally sick people who are at a higher risk of death because it obviously means the insurance company is at a higher risk of losing money.

>>6830635
Maki. Please gtfo. We were having such a good time before you came back.

>>6831235

Oh... right...
Now I'm sad.

>>6831236
Bones don't change. Starving oneself can get an mtfs ribcage to shrink a bit, but nothing can give a bigger cage. Bulking some muscle will help looking bigger (and T increases muscle mass) but there's a reason why transguys often get mistaken for young twinks.

Same with hips, if born with wide hips they stay that way, but T helps redistributing fat so they will look less curvy after a while.

MtFs often talk about how even from super young ages they knew they were trans and hated their genitals, sometimes to the point of babby's first self-mutilation. Do FtMs have that same experience in general?
Just considering male genitals are so much more pronounced, potentially making them easier to cause distress as an resented presence rather than something that's desired but absent, and similarly resentable breasts don't develop until puberty.

>>6831302
Never mutilated my genitals. I get that they'd be in the way and noticeable for MTFs but I dunno, it's pretty noticeable for me too that there's nothing there. Rather than "something that's desired but absent" it's more of a "something is very wrong and missing" feeling. Like if you one day lost your hand somewhere or some shit like that (bad example but it works for explaining i guess).
That being said, I have heard of FTMs who mutilated their chest.

>>6831302
I envied my mom her breast cancer. Other than that I started packing when I was about 10.

>>6831302

I often hear trans guys talk about very early dysphoria so I presume it's common. That doesn't apply to me though. I liked being a girl as a kid and even went through a mild "boys are dumb" phase. It wasn't until puberty that my dysphoria hit and I began becoming more androgynous in personality.

I don't get cis guys obsession with penetrative sex. Whether they're gay, straight, or bi many act like that's the one true way of having sex. Tbqh, I find it unappealing. Even if I was cis, I can't see myself being into it. Non-penetrative is better.

>>6831236

I'm pre-surgery but I only really feel dysphoria about the actual breasts. I don't notice little things like my rib size or my hand size.

>>6831302

At an early age you don't hafe many bodily differences between sexes so genitals stand out more. Many people feel instinctively hateful of them without knowing why at the time. It's just random body dysphoria.

Personally, I never cared about my lower regions. They don't bother me. Tbqh, penises are pretty gross. I remember when I learned cis men don't wipe when they pee... Plus, they seem inconvenient due to random erections and they probably make tight jeans annoying.

I could never understand mutilation. I suppose for trans people it's a way to remove the things you dislike or show your disdain towards then, but it just sends you to the hospital. I have heard of a lot of people that cut themselves but I don't get it. Pain hurts and you want to avoid pain. Not everyone cuts specifically for the pain so why do it?

>>6831497
>I remember when I learned cis men don't wipe when they pee...
That's individual. I know a few who do wipe when they pee

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Y'all were talking bout correlation between pcos and ftms.

does that mean if I cure my pcos I'll stop feeling ftm?

>>6831644
No, that doesn't work and it could make you feel more dysphoric.

I have personal experience.

>>6831450
I totally get it desu, as someone who really craves having a dick of their own to stick. Heck even lesbos fuck each other with strap ons. A dick is just literally the perfect sexing tool.
Not to mention it's a lot more intimate than non-penetrative sex and you get all the endorphins and "sex high" from it afterwards.

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A mate thinks I'm trying to turn him into a mtf because I recommended him finasteride. Somebody told him it lowers testosterone and that it kills his dick, and now he refuses to take any advice from me, and won't eat any food I've made in case I'm trying to slip him meds.
Soo... what pranks should I pull on him?

>>6831961
>I recommended him finasteride
why?

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>tfw wanted to join the army
>tfw wanted to be just another uniform serving with my brothers
>tfw can't now that I'm transitioning
>tfw couldn't anyway because I'm a drug addict and very unfit
Why live?

>>6832149
He has male pattern baldness and is one of those guys who can't rock a bald head.

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>>6830211
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq0tD-4fcdA

>>6831302
I didn't connect hating my body with dysphoria until relatively recently. There are a lot of things I've done/felt that I didn't realize were related. In separate instances, it's just my life and this is just the way it is. But looked at together, it all makes sense.

I have self harmed, but I've never done genital mutilation.

>>6831242
Its not him hes under police investigation for something idk which is why hes not posting.

>>6830796
>>6830591
what video games do you fags play

>>6832304
see >>6832209 fagf

>>6831450
lol these sour grapes

whya re there no trips in ftmg


>i wonder hwy ????

>>6832454

we're all just one person with a lot of free time on their hands, so we don't need to know who's who

I dunno if I'm exactly in the right place but I feel like you guys may be the closest to understanding and shit. I keep either only getting "ur biatroisgenderflux nb androgynoneutroisphiluacfluid godkin uwu" leftists or "M-MUH FEELS MUH BIOLOGY" rightists. Feels like no matter where I ask, there's no impartial answer, but whatever.

Should I try "transitioning" into female before going into male?
Does anybody have any experience, any stories?

I feel like maybe because I couldn't be a kawaii animu girl or some Kylie Jenner-looking bombass bitch I immediately thought "great, then I'll just be a guy and everything will magically get better".

3-4 years in this back and forth shit and I'm going fucking nuts. When not even a shitton of professional shit can help me, I dunno what to do anymore. Feels like I'm terminally ill.

>>6832608
i think it's more along the lines of >>6832361

>>6832617
what is it that makes you feel like you might be trans? it must be feelings that have quite an impact if it's been like this for 3-4 years

you don't have to give me the gender therapist 'here are some carefully selected stories from my childhood that prove i am a trans' speech

like how do you feel about your primary and secondary sexual characteristics? what way of envisioning yourself decades in the future feels the most 'right'?

>>6832454
We have a few trips, and a few named guys with no trip. We even have one guy who doesn't use a name or a trip with a distinctive "voice."

We don't need trips. Why bother?

>>6832454
Trips bring cancer, and that's just if they themselves aren't cancer in the first place and they usually are.

Is it true that starting on a lower dose and then slowly increasing it produces better voice results or is this a myth? I've seen conflicting opinions.

In other words, is there a sure-fire way to avoid developing the gayyyden voice?

>>6832803
i didn't start on a low dose and my voice is average male deep

training your own voice goes a long way. i didn't do any vocal exercises but observing how men of a similar age around me speak and especially making my speech more monotone helped a lot (plus t obviously)

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What do you guys listen to at the gym? Personally im listening to sum 41s new album.

Are you guys picking up the new Sum 41 record that comes out OCTOBER 7th on Hopeless records?

You may remember them from such classics as fat lip, in too deep and still waiting,

Heres a song from their new hit album hitting the shelves October 7th.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waixG1Dhr3w

>>6832834
STOP SHILLING

>>6832803
>is there a sure-fire way to avoid developing the gayyyden voice?
do voice training

>>6832837
Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.

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>>6831302
>even from super young ages they knew they were trans and hated their genitals, sometimes to the point of babby's first self-mutilation. Do FtMs have that same experience in general?

yeah i've known for as early as i can remember
but female genitalia is not really obtrusive, and i kind of just feels like you have no genitalia, and isn't really that much of a problem until puberty

i did use to piss out of water bottles tho

>>6832803
I started with sustanon, 250mg/1ml biweekly which seems to be much more than many guys start with, but it's the standard dose in here with susta. The doctor did want to start me with testogel like everyone else does in my country, but I didn't want to deal with the gel so I asked for the injections right away. My voice is clearly male but who knows if it would be even deeper or not if I started with a lower dose.

>tfw no ftm bf tbqh...
>ill never rub his head and call him my little prince.
>he will never offer his boycavity and ill flip him around and no prince...i don't want that...im not lile those aiden chasers tbqh...

;~;

>>6832745
hate tits
traumatized by downstairs department
voice pisses me off
hips getting fatter n wider, no thanks
usually love leg hair, pelvis n abdomen n tum hair, n caressing peach fuzz on my face

in actuality, and 99% of my life, I look like downright a fucking hon. No joke.
but then I present as male and well, I downright look like I'm fucking joking.

too manly to be the girl I'd like to be, too feminine to be the guy I'd like to be.

one of my friends did a "MtF" transformation to me for one day; I felt repulsed and absolutely hated looking like a goddamn downright hon, even though I acted more flamboyant and party animal and confident and whatnot.
another day we did a "FtM" one and even though I loved the masculine-andro fashion and all, I hated how homeless and fucking dirty and ugly and whatnot I looked and besides that, my hips.

sometimes I imagine myself as a guy in the androgynous spectrum, others as a small kawaii housewaifu girl being swept off my feet and being cared for.

would rather be a girly looking guy (no, not exactly what I look like right now) than a guy looking girl/hon

would rather grow into a nice old lady (and live longer) than a smelly ugly bald limp man

I'm a Cancer, if anybody's into that shit. which certainly doesn't help, considering it's one of the most feminine.

But fuck, I just, can't. It doesn't feel fucking right, going as "girl". I can't refer myself in feminine (gendered language) lately without feeling out of place (even though I might just have trained myself to do so).

It's really funny. A few years ago I was really sure of T, of everything. And now... Boom.

Why?

we just don't know.

Im bored
Where does everyone get that sam hyde copypasta?

>>6833103
i guess if you wanted to go the female route you could get ffs, look into treatment for pcos(?) and have kids and shit

or you could go manmode, and optionally become buff but no benis

that's pretty much the main options to sort through, unless you want to run away to the woods and create a 1 person society where the only gender is you

>>6833184
think i'm gonna go with the woods option

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You niggers better be lifting and not getting fat.

The world needs more abs.

>>6833231
Lifting made me fat

Thank you rippetoe

>>6831680

I always heard frottage was the most intimate form of sex.

>>6832175

Become a cop.

>>6832304

I'm currently playing Animal Crossing GC, Harvest Moon DS, and Sonic Heroes.

>>6832803

Some guys just have high pitched voices. Don't be embarrassed. Even cis guys have fem voices.

>>6832834

I don't go to gym but when I exercise at home I listen to Youtube videos. Zelda theories, speedruns, podcasts, etc.

Man, I wish I was MAAB. It'd make life more easier without stupid female double standards.

>tfw pre-everything
>my parents didn't mind my tomboyishness as a kid
>suddenly middle school hits and they expect me to act more girly
>can't sit like this, can't wear ties, have to shave my underarms, can't have short hair, etc, etc
>be 20
>want a job
>my mom just whines that I can't get a job until I shave my underarms, shave my sideburns, and change my hair

Literally what employee cares about my body hair? My sideburns aren't that bad and I hate having them shaved. It's gross. My hairstyle is fine but it's an afro so my parents only like it really short.

>>6831302

I remember hearing decades ago trans guys would mutilate their chests so hospitals would remove them.

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>>6830343
How the fuck do you get kicked out of Navy training? Pussy.


I served in the Army (Infantry) for 6 years and did a combat tour back in 2008 as a mounted machine gunner. AMA.

Pic related, napping in my turret before a mission.

Sometimes I wonder if I could live contently as female as long as I get top surgery. I don't know.

>>6833457
Everyone has a different level of dysphoria. For some people that might be enough. Some need social transition as well.

>>6831302
I never particularly gave a fuck about vag vs dick as a kid but at around 7 I realised that I would one day grow boobs like my mum and I kept telling her that I didn't want that; that I hoped it didn't happen to me.

However, at around 13/14 I used to get scared that I wouldn't grow proper-sized (ie large) breasts. I can't really explain it. I guess I would compare to when you hear of mtfs who don't want their penis but are also contradictorily proud that it's large. Kind of a social competetition thing I suppose.

>>6833475
>mtfs who don't want their penis but are also contradictorily proud that it's large

Never heard of any being proud that it's large, but they might be relieved when they find out that being larger gets better SRS results.

>>6833493
I've seen quite a few on here say that they get an ego boost out of it, or at least have at one point in their lives.

>>6833378
Was it any good experience? Had you issues with the FtM thing? Have you killed anybody? Any funny stories?

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>>6833515
1)I'm not a tranny, I just wanted to add to the "military" type questions.

2)Never ask a veteran that.

3)Many. When guys get that bored we do some pretty retarded shit.

Is writing and drawing smut about trans guys fetishy even if they're trans? I always hear people whine about fanworks that are nsfw.

>>6831302
Dunno if it counts as mutilation but I used to have a really bad scratching habit around my generals, since before puberty I think. Stuff would get a raw and bloody, it was a real nightmare at times but it wouldn't stop. Still kind of do it but not nearly as bad.

>>6833526
how many did you kill

>>6833515
>>6833642

>Have you killed anybody?
>how many did you kill

Nigger. Come on. Seriously.

>>6833648
I'm just going to ignore any shit like that.

>>6833665

How many tours did you go on? Why'd you leave?

>>6833534
that sounds like something tumblrs would bitch about

>>6833675
I did one tour in iraq/Kuwait (15 months, the Army and Airforce have the longest tours). I left because my contract expired, and I didn't re-enlist.

>>6833690

Any reason you didn't re-enlist? What about advice for recruits or people going out on their first tour.

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>>6833694
I didn't re enlist becaus eI wanted the freedom civilians have, and I wanted to work on my civ career. Nothing worked out and I because a massive alcoholic after the war. Nothing on earth could have ever suprised me more than the things people are capable of doing to each other, and to their selves. Sober for 4 months now. All that drama.

Anyways, you're recruiter is going to lie to you, you're not going to use 90% of the training you receive, and never volunteer for anything.

>>6833457
I keep thinking that, but I don't have the money yet and I'm not gonna for a long time. I think I'm gonna start T as a birthday present to myself next week.

>>6833729

Why turn to alcohol? What got you off it?

I tried to join the National Guard, but i was on an anti-anxiety med.

I want to serve in the Navy as Office and administrative support.

>>6833750
Alcohol made it easier to relax around people. It just kinda gave me something to do after a while. It just became habit, and was a big part of my functioning in society. Anxiety forced me to stop. I started having severe anxiety attacks during the day after drinking. They are also related to PTSD.

Now I'm kinda forced to live with that, which is horrible on it's own.

>>6833835

Isn't there someone you can see about it? Even former members of your squad or veteran associations?

Ever since I had an existential crisis a few years ago, my anxiety has been accompanied with psychosomatic pain. I havensuffered from diagnosed but untreated anxiety disorders since childhood but they only caused stress, not pain. Now even a little anxiety causes bloated stomach/gas, muscle pains, headaches, and a need to go to the bathroom. It's annoying but there's nothing I can do about it apparently.

I'm surprised so many people in here are into the military. I would never want to join. There's nothing in it for me. I can't be a soldier because I'm physically disabled anyway, plus I am pacifistic and I don't have any interest in dying anytime soon. I can't be a mechanic, scientist, doctor, or any other miltary career either.

>>6833677

Most trans related porn is either from Archive of Our Own (written) or Tumblr (drawn).

>>6833648
>>6833665
soldiers exsist for one reason....its a simple question....a numbers all thats being asked for

>>6833841
A lot of my former unit have kinda vanished into the either, or died (a lot of suicides and drug related shit). And I see a shrink once a week. Helps a bit I guess, he's a vet too.

>>6833855
It's a rude question to ask, and it's a common joke among military in relation too "stupid shit civilians ask".

And I always find it funny when civs feel the need to tell me why soldiers exist...

You've no idea.

>>6833855

You really don't understand then that soldiers are still human, and killing isn't like in video games or movies. It, for 99% of the population, abhorrent, difficult and damaging.

It in fact was so much of a struggle for militaries to make soldiers who were able to willingly kill that they employed professional psychologists to experiment on soldiers to condition them to kill, but even those men suffered from emotional trauma as a result as do soldiers nowadays. If nothing else, it's fucking polite to simply not ask because it's a loaded question and you'll react negatively regardless the answer, in either thinking they're a psychopath for killing or that they didn't do what they're paid to do in not.

So shut up and consider someone else's humanity.

>>6833864

Shit sucks. What about people closer to you? Family, civvie friends and the like.

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>>6833855

Here, let Abe explain.

>>6833855

Oh also as a follow up, it really shows your ignorance when you say "soldiers exist to kill". That's so short sighted that it'd be funny if it wasn't so negative. In warzones, soldiers are mostly utilized for population control, since that's how most wars are won. You also neglect to mention that soldiers are deployed on humanitarian and peace keeping missions, dealing with national emergencies home and abroad and more.

>>6833885

You put that better than I could have, thanks haha. And no, I live alone. I prefer it that way. Can't help but want to be alone. I live near a college, and all the fucking college liberal hipsters who know all about the world are all over this city.

I take solace in drawing and painting (though I'm colorblind, so I never show my paintings to anyone).

>>6833855
First of all, soldiers do not exist ONLY for combat. Even I know that and I'm no soldier. Regardless you're being incredibly stupid and insensitive by asking about such things.

>>6833910

I study military psychology and history, and want to be an officer in the military too so I'm trying to learn how to be a fucking good one, basically. Plus I wanna be a therapist for veterans if/when I leave, so I kind of take it a bit seriously when people show their ignorance. Plus I just finished On Killing by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman today and it was fantastic, would recommend.

Also I'm colourblind to so you aren't alone, senpai.

Does your art sometime reflect what you feel internally? I've seen that sometimes veterans with PTSD are encouraged to make art that is about their pain.

>>6833936
A lot of it does reflect pain I guess, but I've always been a bit of a depressing person. And to really understand us, and our mindset, you already know what you have to do. You'd love my shrink. He works only with veterans, and is a veteran himself. He was also worked in NARC for a while for the police department. Bad ass dude, very chill. Likes Bonzai trees.

>>6833888
>>6833900
>>6833917
the primary and first function of an army is to fight in war and kill for the state.....while there are non combative functions and actions beyond the field of combat that des not deminish the primary function.....the millitary has killed about a 9/11 a year in the middle east and cental asia...every year since the invasion of iraq and afganistan.....any work that furthurs the military or suports it aids in death....weather you pull the trigger or are a number cruncher whos work in long term makes sure the trigger exsists and that someone is there and trained to pull it

>>6833981
First you said soldiers "exist for one reason", now you are moving the goalposts to say combat is merely the "primary and first function".

>using "a 9/11" as a measurement of casualties

Just stop posting already. You are embarrassing yourself.

>>6833991
>>using "a 9/11" as a measurement of casualties
3000 is a pretty good measurement...adds up easy and quick too....all the worse when much of it. maybe most, are civilian casualties

and im not moving goal posts.....you can be in the military and not directly kill, have a job distant from combat....but you still function as a part of a machine with the job of killing

>>6833979

Yah, PTSD in veterans has always been something that runs deep with me so I'd wanna do my part to help. I found out recently that Bob Ross used to be in the military... I love that guys who are often in really machoistic and high-strung environments can still be so chill after it. Sort of inspiring for me.

>>6833981

Alright, fine, but if you want to criticise personnel for their role in what you call atrocities, tell me what country your clothes were made in and then tell me you aren't funding the propigation of child labour for pennies a day.

If you want to criticise the militaries role abroad, argue and rally against those who send them out there, the politicians and lobbyists. Many personel in the army are there because they believe that the country is worth fighting for, their families and loved ones too. Eventually, they also fight for their squad-mates, sometimes they kill for them too because it's either kill or be killed. Tell me if it's more noble to kill someone to save your friend or fund companies that employ children for 16 hour shifts if you want to move the goalposts so much.

>>6833981
Lol, well how about this, I wasn't a number cruncher. I manned an M240B machine gun with belt fed 7.62 round. And I don't give a fuck what an annoying little sheltered child like you thinks about it. When I take advice on what the military "is" from a civilian, he's gonna be a lot smarter than you.

It's funny because right when I got back from Sand Hill, my unit had just returned from a peace keeping mission in Egypt, where they only carried pistols and delivered water and food and shit to the non-crazy sand niggers.

So suck my dick, princess.

>>6834000
You lack respect and you lack perspective. I'm guessing you're a teenager.

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>>6834004
Yeah, there was a few Bob Ross memes on Dysfunctional Veterans (a FB page) a while back that made me laugh

>>6834024

I just checked up on Wiki about him and he vowed never to shout again when he left the air force. What a guy.

>>6834036
*shrug*

I like shooting. To each their own.

>>6834067

Not shooting, lad, shouting.

>>6834079
Oh, misread. Kinda busy right now. And he seems to chill to should. I wonder what his subordinates though of him.

>all the butthurt about "you don't ask such a question"

Y'know. The guy saw we have army edition, waltzed into the thread and said - "I'm ex army guy, ask me anything". You don't say "ask me anything" and then cry that someone asked. So do you want to talk openly about the experience or not? If not - why do you say you do? For attention, right? Surely you deserve it, mate, so why are you so desperately seeking for it?
Why 4chan has become a place full of oversensitive people? Some years ago there would be much worse questions and you know that well. Relax people.
>>6834024
Bob Ross is the best guy. He deserves a separate heaven just for him to create the whole world with brushes. And to hang that world over the fireplace after he's done.

>>6833981
Stop typing like Brooklyn

>>6834133
This ain't /b/, threads here can and should be classy.

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>>6834133
Ughh.... 6 fucking million! There? Happy? Call me Der Fuhrer because I gassed um' all. Moving on.

All I want is an ftm boyfriend im a bi cismale tbqh...

You boys are so cool tbqh...

>>6834004
> argue and rally against those who send them out there
there is no draft, while i do hate the politicians and people who start the wars, people chosing to participate and sign over their freedoms dont get a free pass from blame

> Many personel in the army are there because they believe that the country is worth fighting for

well its a pitty that insted of fighting for it they are just furthering imperial ambition.....but like i said above they chose to sign on....and ignorant or not we live with the results of our choices

>Tell me if it's more noble to kill someone to save your friend or fund companies that employ children for 16 hour shifts if you want to move the goalposts so much.

id say both are pretty un noble....the difference is ive only done one...you did both theoreticaly....and in the conditions of a capitalist socioty its hard for me to not purchase without suplying opression to the other side of the platet......you chose freely to join the millitary....or was there a gun to your head?

>>6834141
You're absolutely right, so it's why I don't think it was the right question to ask. But it's still 4chan, so if there's a easy way to troll it will probably be exploit and nobody should be surprised.
>>6834147
As I said before. Don't answer, because you doesn't owe one to anybody. I'm glad to see you're moving on, mate.

>>6834181

>there is no draft

In America there is a draft still.

Also imperial ambition? The fuck are you talking about exactly? How can you be so ignorant of middle eastern politcs or are you just a hippy that believes peace and love beats all. Go preach to the choir in woodstock and pretend there aren't people in the world who hate you for the simple fact of not being like them.

Also I have not killed anyone personally. Nor am I currently in the military, although when I join I will have to live with the consequences of my actions. What exactly does your accusations based on ignorance fulfil other than your short term moral arrogance and superiority and how exactly are you different from someone who spits in the face of Vietnam veterans conscripted into service at age 18 who are then plunged into a foreign land and has to kill under questionable circumstances to simply survive? Do you have any capacity for empathy for anyone not in your niche world view? Because if not, then it's not us whose morality you should be questioning.

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So I'm surprised no one has asked me any LGBT military questions lol.

>>6834155
Thank you! Never thought I'd read something heartwarming on 4chan though

>>6834225
>ignorant of middle eastern politcs
im pretty well informed....know it well enough to know that the us arm has made a fuckig mess of it

> Vietnam veterans
how many of them were drafted tho? and how many chose to join....there has been no involuntary draft since the 70's so any soldier today chose to do what they do

>>6834274

Then you'd know that US foreign policy pretty much created ISIS with the fact that all high ranking officers in the former Iraqi military became unemployed and had nothing to fight for, and that instead of sending in American troops they instead decided to arm rebels, which much of those arms in fact finding their way to ISIS. Honestly, the only people in the middle east doing anything of value are the Kurds, and with them being fucked by both the Turkish and Iraqi governments, unless they form Kurdistan from chunks of Syria and Turkey it looks like that will break out into some form of conflict, considering that they now have loads of supplies (a la USA) and there will be more men of fighting age who are Kurds than Turks in Turkey by 2030-40. US foreign policy has been a mess dictated by the fickle whims of the American people, not calculated military and diplomatic strategy.

Also a large number of Vietnam soldiers were drafted, and a large number were also press ganged essentially. What, you lie to a fresh-faced 18 year old with no real experience of the world and tell them the military will offer them a good life and so on and they end up in Shithole, Vietnam having to fight against child soldiers since the Viet Cong deliberately knew it would fuck with their morale, do you really think that they actually had made an informed rational choice?

>>6834274
>>6834320

Oh also by "fickle whims of American people" I mean people like you who don't let the military and diplomats get on and finish the job that was started. All well and good demanding the soldiers come home but that doesn't end the war, does it.

>>6834328
iraq was a misteak from the begining, so was afganistan....there was no other posible endgame then what we have now and its the fault of the government and military for being profoundly dumb enough to think they could

>>6834254
Well, you're not a transguy so you're experience isn't really applicable in this gen. Unless, did you serve with anyone trans? Were they out? Would you mind if there was a transguy serving as a man with you?

>>6834427
LEARN TO SPELL AND FORMAT YOUR DAMN POSTS

>>6834328
iraq was a mess but a delicatly controlled mess which sat on the fault lines of the mid east....the army and us gov upended the whole thing, and made a mess of who they let form the new government....there was no good plan from day one

afganistan is a problem the british couldnt crask, the persians and mughals couldnt fully crack, the russians and soviets couldnt....america shouldnt have thought they could ever do better, and we screwed it up in the 80s when the regan administration funded and trained islamic estremists(the fathers of the taliban) to fight the soviets with no contigency plan for what would happen when they won

the amry and its diplomats could only have done a better job by having not done anything to begin with.....the only better job would have been no action in eigther country

>>6834436
This....

>>6834465
>>6834427
>>6834181
>>6834000
>>6833981
>>6833855
NOT BROOKLYN
Format differently or put on a trip so we can block you

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>>6832652

yours is more realistic, but what i said is better...

>>6833846

i wouldn't join the military either if i was healthy... when i was it wasn't something i wanted... i have personal issues with the politics and whatnot though

but when someone believes in it... or like sees it as a way out or whatever... idk i get that...

>>6833855

asking for numbers like that is intrusive for one + if you don't know the impact that sorta thing might've had on them you don't bring it up... what's casual conversation to you isn't likely to be for the other person when it comes to something like that...

>>6833103

why would astrology make a difference?

>>6834000

sometimes violence is the only way to solve an issue, and killing isn't inherently wrong... war isn't a black and white issue

>>6834135

glad you knew that wasn't me... cuz that's all just... not at all how i think

unrelated to anything: my roommate's gf got a new garbage can for this house (something about her hating ours) and i feel like i'm being tortured having to be in the house with it... needs to be touched way too fucking much when it's used, it's turned cleaning and using the kitchen into more of a nightmare and extra handwashing... i've been really trying to hide the ocd shit, cuz i don't want it to be an issue... but i'm pretty sure i can't live with that garbage can and another few days of it is gonna make me feel crazy...

+ the kid's menu at the diner here is fucking retarded... the only food that has a relevant name is the little mermaid one, and it's sorta morbid... and all those stolen disney pictures but they didn't use anything from the lion king and instead went with a weird dog...

I went to the store today...was fun....went over to the other store today...it was fun...

>>6834509

glad you noticed too... unless you're the same person i already said something to before...

>>6834551
>sometimes violence is the only way to solve an issue, and killing isn't inherently wrong... war isn't a black and white issue
so killing 3000 civillians a year ever year for 8 or 10 is ok? especialy when neigther war has achieved almost any good

>>6830211
I'm planning on serving in the US Army as a female. An acquaintance from a certain weapons board I frequent (who is openly ftm) suggested I join as a female, gain confidence, and then later on transition, if I still want to go through with it and if Army lets me. I think it's the best path for pre-trannies who want to go mil, personally.

>>6834609

well... that's all a matter of perspective... if you don't believe in war, think all lives are equally valuable, find life sacred and so on then you won't feel like it's worthwhile...

but there's no objective value on human life, and there's no objective morality about how to get shit done... and honestly violence is part of nature... shit happens, i'm not saying it's ok necessarily... i'm just saying it isn't necessarily wrong either...

and really it's impossible to judge whether or not something is worthwhile until enough time has passed and you can properly look back on it...

3,000 is both a really big and small number when it comes to the amount of people it is... and i'm not saying that shit isn't sad, and i personally wouldn't join the military cuz i have a lot of objections to most world issues and whatnot... but i mean... people who believe in a cause, who go into war fighting to protect something that matters to them... they're not just killers like some guy on the street eating someone's face off or some shit...

i'm sure you'll disagree with me, and that's fine... you can believe and think whatever you want, it's just not an objective truth is all i'm saying...

>>6834649

+ most people aren't gonna say killing civillians is ok... it's not preferable, but it happens... that's part of what goes along with war, and it's not like civillians are being targeted for mass deaths (which is what 9/11 was btw... i lived in nyc at the time, my s/o's little bro and sis saw people jumping from the building while they were in their schoolyard cuz it was right across the water... i could see the buildings from my kitchen window growing up... what happened on 9/11 and what being in nyc was like at that time wasn't comparable to living in a war zone... so really, like other people said that was a terrible comparison) they're casualities of a shit situation... but i mean... look at history and tell me violence never helped anything ever

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>>6834714
Most casualties in any war are civilians. We designate "COB" a lot when in active conflict areas, it stands for "Civilians on Battlefield", and it's a warning we take very seriously.

Haji, however, doesn't give a fuck and kills COBs all the time.

Hey lads, got a question... Did you start feeling more aggressive after starting hormones? I'm already an asshole, I don't want to become a violent one too :(

>>6834901
Nah, opposite for me. T calmed me out and stopped that poison estrogen in its banshee hag death grapple around my emotions. Alleviating the dysphoria went along way towards it too.

>>6834901
opposite, now i control my emotions who includes rage and angriness, my emotions still there, but now i control them and now the sentiments usually are positive unlike before.

"male brainer" people needs testosterone, "female brainer" estrongens.

>>6833846
>diagnosed but untreated
why?

>>6834901
I've been getting more aggressive yeah, I snap easier at my friends at their jokes than I did before and they're getting more pissed at me.

>>6834766

well yeah, but my point was civilians aren't sought out targets, they die cuz of unfortunate circumstance which is different... i was high though so i might've said that all retarded

>>6832304
Ah, I mostly play League with friends, hate the game but I can't stop playing it. Along with Pokemon and Animal Crossing.

>>6834901
Yeah, I have urges to break things when I get so angry now, before T I would have probably just cried. Though I've always had a bad temper.
You have to get on top of that behaviour though, do something productive instead while also being physically active like working out, or boxing, or even just going around the house and tidying up instead when you get so mad you wanna throw shit.

>>6835302

My parents didn't believe in medication for psychiatric trouble. It's something I can deal with on my own, medicine will just mess me up.

>>6834155
Run straight into the sun, maki.

>>6831656
Share.

>>6835940
Treatment doesn't necessarily mean medication

>>6835983

I don't like therapy and they don't either. They found it annoying to take me, I found it embarrassing to go. I don't like talking about my issues so I either don't talk or lie around the topic.

>>6836068
What are your coping mechanisms?

and btw:
>Now even a little anxiety causes bloated stomach/gas, muscle pains, headaches, and a need to go to the bathroom. It's annoying but there's nothing I can do about it apparently.
This sounds like textbook IBS. Have you tried fodmap?

>>6836107

Coping with anxiety? I just try to block it out of my head, avoid the thing that scares me, distract myself with video games/music/cartoons/exercise, or go to sleep.

I thought I had IBS but according to a hypochondriac forum I visit, these are normal symptoms of long term anxiety. Heart palpitations, headaches, upset stomach, insomnia, and body pain are common.

>>6836121
IBS and anxiety goes hand in hand though. It might help to look into the fodmap thing and see if it works. Can't hurt right? My IBS get triggered by anxiety and stress, so I do my best to avoid it. Good diet helps a lot, but when anxiety/stress gets bad nothing works.
They used to see IBS as a psychological issue following people dealing with anxiety but recently they've found that it's most likely genetic and only triggered by anxiety. Stress hormones mess with gut bacteria and it's very difficult to stabilize after that. Pro-biotics have been shown to help too. It might help you to look into it.

I don't give much of a crap about celebrities personal lives but I wonder what Jolie and Brad are gonna do when Shiloh (John?) hits puberty.

>>6836219

lucky for you they can't take a piss without someone talking about it, so you're likely to hear what happens...

>>6835951
i'm not into tumblr, but maki is probably pansex,
b/c he's literally chased every orientation

>>6835641
>>6834766

+ i also meant 9/11 was different in the sense that nyc wasn't a warzone and the purpose was to kill civilians... the percentage of civilians killed in a war as casualties is just... different

like you said measures are taken to minimize those casualties cuz the intent isn't to kill those people... many of them might die, but that's not the same

hopefully i said it better, fuck if i know, i'm high again and only got 4 hours of sleep so yeah...

+ it was a just a shit comparison, and people die during war and it's just an unfortunate side of reality that's unlikely to change cuz war is a completely natural thing... and there's no real avoiding it... which makes soldiers necessary, cuz if something is ultimately unavoidable all you can do is try to make shit work out as best as possible... which requires defensive and offensive measures and a military... it'd be idiotic to think that's somehow avoidable given human nature and the structure of society...

i'm just rambling at this point, but i think people could stand to realize that everything being peaceful is an absolutely beautiful unrealistic utopian goal... literally nothing in nature exists without some level of violence and even plants strangle each other for space and resources... and well, that objective morality doesn't exist at all, and the value of everything is just a matter of perspective... which is why depending on the scale you measure with 3,000 is and isn't a whole lot of people

like how nyc was still congested with people even after all those people died on 9/11, there was still a ton of traffic, crowded sidewalks... without knowing any individuals who died there the city wasn't any different other than the buildings and all the post apocalyptic looking dust and shit that came down fucking everywhere and made everything look surreal... 3,000 people in a year is only a lot when you don't think about how small of a number it can be on a grand scale

>>6834551
>new garbage can
Does it have a lid you need to touch with your hands?

>>6834901
Yes and no. I'm less patient, but I deal with all emotional challenges better and with more grace.

>>6836476

yeah, and i can't deal with it... i guess his gf also suggested a mat in front of the sink in the downstairs bathroom cuz that's new today and she was over last night... it's equally fucking horrible... it's just gonna collect dust and dog fur if it's not washed constantly and just be disgusting... it's fuzzy... and i can't handle that either

we've been looking into other places though, and my s/o is gonna start looking for jobs in this other town cuz he's feeling restless at one of his jobs and that means if he doesn't find a new one soon he's gonna get bored and destructive... the other job he'll keep cuz it's 2 days a week and he feels like he's getting shit out of it still, but yeah... so i'm just gonna not say anything and just deal with it, cuz we wanna get out of here... but this is exactly the kinda shit that gets to me...

i can handle most shit but a garbage can with a lid i gotta touch and a mat collecting dog fur in a bathroom that's easier to keep clean without it... but yeah... having to live with that fucks my shit up, and i'm aware that it's an extreme reaction to a garbage can but i can't help it and when given the choice i arrange and buy things so that my issues don't have to be really bad daily... and this is gonna make them really bad daily so that's gonna suck for a bit

>>6836424
Violence is natural, so it will never go away. A completely peaceful society isn't possible.

>>6836618

pretty much yeah...

>>6836618
>t. meanie

>>6836639

+ that's what i mean though... a peaceful world is a cute idea, and there's something endearing about people who really believe in that kinda ideal... but it's illogical and ultimately sorta stupid

>>6830591
>as long as my partner can keep up an conversation, come with ideas on what to do for date nights, play videogames. If I can sleep on their shoulder while they work/play it's a plus.
gaaaaaaay

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>>6830591
>>6836664

Yeah dude that sound completely gay

>tfw living as female
>expected to wear women's clothes
>everything is expensive as hell

Everything's like $60 - 100.

>>6830211
That pic: what FtMs will never be, masculine men with unforced and recognizable masculinity by society.

>>6836961
Shop somewhere cheaper, duh.

>>6836972
>unforced
Meaning?

>>6833103
That's gender confusion for you.

>>6837000

Places like JcPenny's are already the bottom of the barrel. Even lower and I'd need to go to thrift stores.

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>>6836972
>recognizable
Meh. Transguys are invisible after transitioning, meaning they get recognized.
4/10 made me reply

I'm nonbinary and I'm thinking of going on low T. Should I lie to my therapist and say I'm ftm or just be outright? I don't know if most therapists get non-mtf, non-ftm trans people.

>>6837027
Don't underestimate thrift stores. You can find both male and female clothes of quality for pennies in my experience. My entire male wardrobe comes from stuff I bought in thrift stores from when I was too embarrased to buy in guy stores.

Is wearing a sports bra AND a binder safe? I look like an A or B cup with just my binder on.

>>6837030
I meant their masculinity is not recognized, meaning it doesn't stand out. It doesn't get female teens and women wet in their panties, it is not subconciously quantified as a threat or something similar to thwir own masculinity by guys.

>>6837003
Look what you did.

I need to vent.

Next week is my birthday. I was gonna go make an appointment at planned parenthood and finally get on T as a present to myself, but I'm not sure it's gonna happen.

I have an intense fear of needles, to the point where I panic, vomit, and pass out. Even reading stories here about people injecting makes me feel light-headed.

But the gel is so stupid expensive I won't be able to afford it till I'm out of college, which is gonna be a couple more years.

It's a choice between living with the phobia and living as a woman. I'm really androgynous and pass sometimes, but I'm tired of looking like a dyke or a little boy.

I'm just so disappointed. I don't know if I can do this, lads. I don't know if I can physically handle injections every week or two. I want to die.

>>6837037
Total crapshoot. Could go well, could not. Opinions on nonbinary people are all over the place. Your safest bet is just taking the angle that you want a slow and controlled puberty with low t. But of course if you can get away with honesty then honesty is absolutely the easiest and least stressful path.

Depending on what you want from your transition you may benefit from a look into what bodybuilders use, especially female bodybuilders. There are things you can take (or switch to) with much lower androgenic effects than testosterone. Of course that's another can of worms, but I'm just saying.

>>6837084
Go on /fit/ or /r9k/ and you'll see that there are loads of cis guys being insecure af about their masculinity.
And I've never met a guy secure enough to 'wear basically anything'. Where do you find these unicorns? Don't say femgen.

>>6837137

you'll get used to it i imagine... i hated syringes and getting blood drawn and whatnot and now it's kinda whatever... and so what if you panic, puke, or pass out as long as it gets done... even if it's shitty it'll be relatively quick in comparison to the amount of time you're planning on being miserable for otherwise...

>>6833146
Yet we're not talking about cisguys, are we? My point stands.

I, and most of my guy friends could wear a dress for a year, say as part of a practical joke or whatever, and it wouldn't afect me. (I'm a hetero male). Because unlike FtMs and bulldykes, I don't use clothing as a crutch to sustain my identity, just as most hetero guys don't.

Even if I wore a dress, guess what, people would still recognize my masculinity, just as they recognize the masculinity of hons. That's my point, masculinity is mostly, like it or not, essential. All the behaviors adopted by FtMs are either spontaneous or staged attempst to emulate essential masculinity.

>>6837137
Go, dude. Nice birthday present for yourself to overcome your fears.
Here's my tip. I tend to pass out when getting needles because blood pressure issues, so I always ask to get to lie down when taking them. Ask for numming cream, take anti-nausea meds beforehand, and listen to music or something while they give the injection.
They can also give you some advice there, since they deal with stuff like this on a regular basis. Don't worry. Nurses usually know what they do.

>>6837193
Meant to reply to
>>6837149

>>6837137
If you could start off with the three-monther nebido that's 4 nightmare days a year vs 26 or 52.
If you share your problem with the people at the clinic they might have some options or ideas for you. At any rate you should go and see what's what.
Happy upcoming!

>>6837193
>Yet we're not talking about cisguys, are we? My point stands.
Yes. Yes we are. So point invalid. Shoo.

>>6837099
You are basically describing every average, "OK" looking guy right there.

>>6837084
Well in my experience of knowing FtMs, a lot of them just wear whatever they want once their body changes enough on T and they have surgery and stuff. And they basically just blend in.
>FtMs are very insecure in their masculinity
As are a lot of cis men.
>FtMs don't have that luxury and many (especially butch lesbians) are rude and brash out of insecurity and trying to be "masculine".
Eh I've met a few loud mouth trans people before, one FtM in particularly and a few MtF, and some severely shy trans people too. Them being shy or outgoing says nothing about their transgender disorder, really it affects everyone differently I think.
People really aren't these one-dimensional caricatures you make them out to be.

>>6837227
>>6837227
I can see you ignored the "a lot of" and all nuances in my sentences. I resign myself then. For being in a board where the posters are fully aware of all the stereotypes associated with gay and trans people, I wasn't expecting you to construe my sentences as making people out to be one dimensional csricatures. Trying to overcompensate because of insecurity demonstrates non-one-dimensionality in itself.

>>6837137
>I have an intense fear of needles, to the point where I panic, vomit, and pass out. Even reading stories here about people injecting makes me feel light-headed.
pussy. Close your eyes and do it once and you won't be afraid of it after that.

>>6837193
>I, and most of my guy friends could wear a dress for a year, say as part of a practical joke or whatever, and it wouldn't afect me. (I'm a hetero male). Because unlike FtMs and bulldykes, I don't use clothing as a crutch to sustain my identity, just as most hetero guys don't.
I don't know where you live but no you fucking couldn't. Even if liberal coockoo land of like San Francisco or rich areas of New York you couldn't wear a dress as a guy and go to work or be near kids or do anything that involves a lot of interacting with people. At best people would assume you're doing some kind of performance art and applaud you (in super liberal areas) but even there it's widely and completely understood as something you can't, as a guy, bring into your every day life.

>>6837099
okay, but who cares. we're not all trying to be some hypermasculine jock stereotype, we just want to be seen as male and live a normal life like everyone else. anyone who does want more than that tends to just be embarrassing themselves, cis or trans.

>>6837098
if it doesn't cause any pain, it should be fine. but if your ribs start to hurt or bruise it's probably too much.

>>6833103
sounds trans to me desu

>>6837347
>probably
Absolutely no-buts too much.

>>6837363
...you're right, maybe that wasn't the best wording.

>>6837370
I get what you meant, though binding at all is kinda bad. I've been well behaved but after 6+ years it has inevitably begun to catch up with me. >>6837098
I agree sports bra + binder will be fine, at least if it's changing the silhouette/shape more than it is additional compression.
If it's a second layer of binder-like compression you run an increased risk of injury (as in/up to your ribcage collapsing. I've seen footage.)

>>6837137
I used to have a needle phobia, it's not anywhere near as bad anymore. I did inject by myself intramuscularly for a half year and it was always pretty awful experience, now I'm using nebido which has to be injected every 14 weeks so I just go for my city's health center and a nurse sticks it in me. You're not supposed to inject nebido yourself and while I know that some people do, I'd rather not even try. But in the US I think you can get subq injections quite easily and that's just like injecting insulin, which is MUCH easier than shoving a needle deep into a muscle. You can get a nurse to show you how to do it for few times, I'm sure you can do it!

>>6837164
>>6837196
You're right. I shouldn't let it get in the way, and it'll get better over time. I was gonna go in for an appointment anyways, so I'll just nut up and get the injections.

I'll probably have to go in and have them do it indefinitely, though.

>>6837212
How does that work, how expensive is it? I heard something about uneven levels but I'm gonna get those with injections anyways. Less needles definitely sounds better.

>>6837547
you could also go on testosterone gel

i'm on nebido by the way and never had any problem with uneven levels

also reposting since op probably long since abandoned his thread >>6834299

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hung-Jury-Testimonies-Genital-Transsexual/dp/0615692354

>>6837547
Nebido is one of the most stable HTR options for us but it's pretty expensive. It's something like 150€ per vial in here (thank god for free healthcare, I pay next to nothing for it), no idea about the prices in US and it goes by other name in there.

>>6837547

whatever works for you... i can't judge i'd personally never wanna be comfortable injecting shit into myself... not cuz it scares me to do it, but cuz i know myself too well and i'd be way more likely to shoot up

What's a good haircut to as your first?
I'm looking to go really short

>>6837649

that depends on what you look like and your hair texture... there isn't really one haircut that's gonna work for everyone

>>6837655
I have a square face and my hair is kinda thick

>>6837567
The testosterone gel is too expensive for me though. I'm in college right now and don't have much disposable income.

>>6837541
I'm gonna try to get subq if I can, intramuscular sounds like a whole new level of hell.
Having someone else to do it is a lot of pressure taken off though.

>>6837577
If it's expensive I can't do it. I guess I could always try camming to pay for test. I'm not morally above that.

>>6837606
Opiates make me sick to my stomach anyways, I'm not too worried about that. If that's what you were implying, it was a little hard to follow

>>6837649

Back when I used to perm my hair I wore a pixie cut. I liked it. It was really easy to maintain and looked nice. I wish I could try it again but I can't seem to straight my hair with a hot comb.

>>6837695
I was going to a buzzcut but that's cliche.
I just stared T 1 month ago and I feel I want to start presenting more masculine now

I wish I was on T already. I want to wear cute stuff already! I can't wear cute stuff if I look like a woman. It's embarrassing. I want to wear pink hoodies, oversized sweaters, and cute animal shirts already. I'm stuck wearing crappy flannel shirts and other unappealing stuff because they make me look androgynous at worst.

>>6837718
unless you have exceptional man face getting a buzzcut this early is going to make you look like a lesbian orange

just try like a simple short back and sides, make sure the top is wide enough and not too long compared to the rest

>>6837673

then look at pics of haircuts for that... and go from there

>>6837674

i was, yeah... that's like my biggest reason, i know yours is being scared and shit... but like i legit worry about being comfortable enough to shoot up cuz i know i would and that's a road i don't wanna necessarily go down you know? i love opiates... like absolutely fucking love them, and even when i've puked from them or been nauseous i haven't actually minded it... it's not every time for me so it's worth it, and once you throw up you feel better anyway and just relaxing into the high can help it too

but yeah i know like... if it came up ever right now, shooting up i mean, i might turn it down... if i was comfortable with it i wouldn't... even if i wanted to i wouldn't so for me that'd be a bad thing

my bad though... i was smoking while i wrote that, and i still haven't really slept...

i really can't imagine caring about getting a little sick when it comes to the high though, or even really sick honestly... never been really bad from an actual opiate... kratom made me sick as fuck though the 2nd time and i still took it after and would again... and shit pcp was just... the bad highs were crazy and i blacked out once for idk how long, but i did that for a while... and i'd even probably take coke again even though i hated it if it came up and there were no other drugs or alcohol around... just you know in case that time was enjoyable

and all of that is exactly why i should never do something that makes me comfortable with needles... i doubt that's a concern for everyone though... most people are sober way more often than i am

>>6837751
i hate to tell you this, but wearing that stuff becomes embarrassing when you pass, just for different reasons

unless you're a really confident fag, in which case go right ahead

>>6837649
I've always had the same haircut since i was 12,it's been 8 years of shoulder length parted in the middle with ponytail. Gets too long? A pair of scissors, cut ponytail where it exceeds limit, pretty easy to maintain.

>>6837770
lmfao throw back to when i wanted to be a femboy pre T and now post T all I want in life is to be the most masculine man ever

>>6837770

I am unconfident but why would I be embarrassed by clothes I like?

>>6837802

if you're not confident people saying shit to you will wear you down... and guys who dress like that usually get a lot of shit for it

you might not find the clothes embarrassing, but you might be made to feel like it's embarrassing to wear them...

you might feel more comfortable looking like a guy in women's clothes, but other people can be extremely uncomfortable with it... that's just how shit works

>>6836618
Sure it is! We just have to kill all the violent people!

>>6836961

Thrift shops, eBay, etc

have been sort of seeing a ftm guy (pre-op pre-T) over the last few months and I was wondering if you guys could offer some advice.

Whenever we have sex or mess around I can't seem to get him to orgasm, but he can easily through normal masturbation methods. He says he gets really close, often several items over the course of hours, but can't bring it home. Been thinking it might be due to self-images issues (which I've been trying to help with outside the bedroom best I can)?

How do I help him out?
Bi male here if that makes a difference.

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mtf here postin this

Cross-general strawpoll to support FTM+MTF unity and friendship.

http://www.strawpoll.me/11140908

>>6838053
Might or might not have anything to do with being trans. That happens often to cis people too. People learn to reach orgasm in one way and often they have to unlearn it and learn new ways when being with someone else. It just might take a long time and a lot of trust etc.

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>read blogs of detransitioned butch lesbians who still suffer from dysphoria
>dad will kill himself if "i cut off my tits and sew on a dick," although i don't even want a phalloplasty for many reasons
>parents want me to wait until 25, just like i waited until 18, just like i'll wait until 35, etc.
>i will probably OD at 29 in my "natural, unmutilated, female" pre-T body
>even if i pass and don't detransition, i'll be a 3/10, intellectually mediocre, autistic manlet

J.U.S.T.

>>6838055
All mtfs are disgusting though.

Why do you have to invade every general?

>>6838116
Hang in there anon, you'll figure out a way to be happy.

>>6838090
>It just might take a long time and a lot of trust etc.
Additional problem of him loving to get me off as many times as possible, as fast and hard as possible.
Which I'm down for, but God help me my balls feel like craisins afterwords. I'm not a young man anymore he's going to kill me.

>>6838119
>All mtfs are disgusting though.
eh, i'll give you that

>Why do you have to invade every general?
because what is one thing a transwoman craves most of all?
attention
thanks for giving me your attention

>>6838122
What if it's an exit bag desu?

I have no hope. My /senpai/ily is right, I just will detransition if I go on T. I will become an hero before I become a terf though.

>>6838135
Some famale bodied people can't even reach an orgasm during penetration anyway, get a hitachi or something and use that on him while fucking, if he still can't come even with that... then you have a problem.

>>6838135
tfw no bf to drain of cum

>the army

>most of the guys from high school join the army upon leaving
>i'm a pacifist so i don't
>constantly take shit about how little i care about my country
>if it's not that it's them bragging about how good their conditions are and how dumb i am
>ten or so years pass
>most are back from their deployments
>many are fucked in the head from their time
>two have literally been institutionalised
>they expect my sympathy
top lol

>>6838176
An unpopular opinion, but fuck soldiers, particularly from the coalition.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZwuTI-V8SI

>>6838156
>get a hitachi or something and use that on him while fucking
Anyone know of a slightly smaller, less intense, quieter version of a vibe I could use? I don't want to hurt him and also we have to be somewhat discreet.

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>>6838176
>i'm a pacifist

>>6838274
well to be fair
they are pretty much all as well now
the key difference being that i can go out at midnight on new years without crying

>>6838286
Some wars need to be fought you dogmato-pussy

>>6838303
i certainly agree, but i can't think of one that any of us would've been alive for

>dogmato-pussy
again, i'm just glad the sound of a helicopter doesn't stop me from sleeping, for nothing more than padding the pockets of a military contractor

>>6838116
Let your dad kill himself desu

That seriously sounds like some extreme passive-aggressive bullshit in trying to control you like that. I'd tell him to fuck off and stop acting like some middle aged mom with that passive-aggressive manipulation; if he refuses to be the man in the household and make empty threats like a blundering woman you'll take his place as the man of the house.

I have been denied all the best ultrasex


Faggot faggpt faggot faggot

>>6838399
I love that album

>>6838399

i saw msi live years ago in terminal 5... haven't thought about them in forever though...

>>6838116
Wow senpai, you need a change of scenery. Get out from under your parents asap. You need distance from them so you can actually mind your business. You can't let them weigh in on your life decisions forever, you'll only grow more resentful of them and they will never be incentivised to understand you.

>>6838238
There are smaller cordless recharchable magic wands too, but I have no idea how quiet they are. Probably quieter than the real thing but still relatively loud.

>>6833022
I have one, I give him his test shots. Too bad he's a poly-amorous cunt. Find someone else who'll take the time Sky.

>>6837817

Don't let stupid gender roles get you down. A hundred years ago women wearing pants was looked down upom or even illegal but now no one wears skirts.

>>6838156

He didn't mention penetration.

>>6838399

I love MSI but it's one of those groups that's embarrassing to like.

Cis bimale here...

Im kinda bored and drunk on Friday night tbqh and want to talk dirty anybody want to do it?

I spent a good chunk of today watching old YouTube videos from my preteen and early teen years (ie AMVs circa 2006 to 2009 and old meme stuff like Caramelldansen or Charlie the Unicorn). It's so nostalgia inducing... It's weird because I remember loathing 2006 as a kid. It was the point where my life took a downward spiral.

I remembered something though. Back then I was a perfectly normal tweenage girl (I'm 20 now fyi). I was a geeky fangirl but I was very female identified. By 2010 however that had changed. I remember already knowing I was trans before I entered high school. Anyone else had something similar happen? I genuinely liked being a girl as a kid but then puberty hit and now I'm dysphoric. I always hear people saying they felt trans at age 4 or 5 but all I remember was being an average girly girl.

Have to be feminine for 2 more years, living with my parents until I finish college, what do :^(

>>6838950
Learn manly stuff like riding bikes.

Also never show sadness or whine that's fem.

>>6838913
nah, i was pretty similar. i remember my best friend, when we were about 9 or so, talked about really wanting to be a boy, to the extent of cutting her hair and wearing boys' clothes, but when she asked me how i felt about gender i genuinely didn't care either way. i was still definitely a tomboy, i just didn't feel like my life would be that much different if i were a guy.

of course not long after that puberty hit me hard as hell, along with dysphoria, and now 10 years later i know exactly how different things would be. funny enough, she's now a normal well-adjusted cis girl and i'm a depressed dyke-looking manlet, but that's just how it is i guess.

>>6838962
B-But what about appearance ;-; I look at myself and get sad, sometimes I think about it too much and start crying ;-;

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>>6839041
You man up tbqh.
There's a bunch id change about myself but you can only do so much tbqh.

Put your chest up and tell the world fuck you and do everything proudly tbqh.

>>6838950
Implode and drop out then move out and after a while break off all contact with your parents because they were abusive all along then reconnect with the family's other black sheep and discover that he is--contrary to his reputation--sane as fuck

That's what I did good luck; have fun

>>6838859

what? i was just talking about why he might be embarrassed to dress like that in practice after transitioning... i'm not into dresses, but if i was i'd wear them and not give a shit... i'm not really concerned with what people think of me honestly... but not everyone can handle being noticed like that, and getting noticed like that, for that can be a bad thing for some guys

i'm not really into pink personally... or wearing most colours, most of my clothes are grey...

>>6838913

I think it was at about 8 that I started noticing something was off. I don't even remember being 4 or 5.
I wouldn't say I was particularly female-identified before that, more just neutrally pre-identity. I started playing with makeup and shit when I was a tween, because that's what people kept buying me for birthdays and shit, and it was a way to piss off my mother and bond with my girl friends, but it didn't last long. It was certainly completely dead by the time my body started to become more feminine, at which point those girly practices began to actually accentuate a change that I hated.
It's that old thing about clothes, "if a cis man can wear a dress without it making him a girl, why can't a trans man?" Because a pre-all trans man has a female body that the dress is designed to acentuate. If they made dresses that conformed to a male body shape, trans men might be perfectly comfortable in them. Or if he's physically transitioned, maybe he'll be as comfortable as a cis man.
And when I was prepubescent, my body was little different from a male body and gender roles didn't matter that much yet, so that kind of thing didn't really make a difference. It was only at the onset of puberty that shit got weird.

But I'm not sure I'd say I am or really have been strongly male-identified either. Not in terms of social roles, at least. I have a pretty non-gendered personality, I just feel like this is something wrong with my body. Cis people don't get out of bed every morning thinking "I'm a man/woman!" it simply 'is'. For me it's just that my sex is whack.
It feels good to be seen as male and jarring to be seen as female, but that's about it. When it comes down to it, the social issues are heavily informed from the physical. Eg, it bothers me when people ask for a man's help with heavy lifting instead of me, not because "I'm a man too!" but because it's a reminder that my capacity for strength is limited to the feminine.

Pardon the ramble.

>>6838962
>Also never show sadness or whine that's fem.
Really hoping this is a joke. Cis male here and I feel and show sadness all the time, it's natural, healthy, and often necessary to remaining sane.
There are proper and improper was of doing it, but fuck off with not expressing it period.

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>>6839315

>>6837577
Damn, where I am, it's the cheapest of all methods available.

>>6837674
I wouldn't worry about it too much. I know a large amount of people who had really intense phobias of needles before T but they eventually got over it. Just make sure you have someone who knows what they're doing to inject you, otherwise they might nick a nerve and that hurts like hell. You also won't see them do it because (in the case of intramuscular shots, anyways) it goes in your butt.

>>6837765
I used codeine for a while because my doc prescribed it for some illness. Didn't do shit for me, was it just too small of a dose?

>>6839125

I was saying you shouldn't let others make you feel bad because they judge you for your slightly feminine clothes.

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>>6839316
Im the cismale you responded to. you sound like a pussy not going to lie.

Cry in the comfort of your own home or something bitch.

>>6839500
Meant to reply to

>>6839315
Im drunk.

>>6838962
Trying so hard to be masculine will create the opposite effect though I bet

>>6839517
Yeah like riding a bike that's a bit much

>>6839315
Thank you for speaking up and showing us that you can be a big boy and still have several emotions.

>>6839500
Thanks for swordfighting in /ftmg/ where the remaining cis guys of 4chan come for the novelty of feeling like they're the authority on masculinity.

>>6839517
And (You) for being so fucking erudite, really coming to the rescue with your keen analysis of human nature.

Fucking cis people REEE >>>>>/trash/
At least the mtfs are aware that they're shitposting

>>6839708
Im the second cis male.

I dont really give a fuck tbqh.

so i've been off mine for several days (I apply a cream daily because I have a horrible needle phobia) because my doctor is completely inept and fucked up my prescription. This is the second time I've been off T for a bit and both times withdrawal hit me hard.
I'm having extreme mood swings flipping between mania and really severe depressive episodes. Also keep getting hit with these waves of exhaustion.
Anyone else have experiences with being off T for a bit? what were your withdrawal symptoms like?

>>6839854
I don't know anyone who uses gel but I know that a lot of guys here have mood swings and exhaustion the week before their next injection (sustanon, three week interval, if you were wondering). It's because your T levels are dropping too much and your body probably doesn't know what to do.

Personally I don't have experience with this but I do have experience with birth control which did pretty much the same thing for me as going off T for you. Which really just confirms that it's because your hormones aren't at a stable level.

>>6831302
I don't know if this is the case for a lot of FTMs as children but I didn't care cause my parents were fine with me being a 'tomboy'. I had all male friends, only played with pretty gender neutral toys (i.e stuffed animals, animal/dinosaur figurines) or boys' toys like cars and they all just called it a phase. I also didn't even bother looking down at what my vagina actually was til I was like fucking 12 or 13 and it started getting wet and actually doing stuff and all that. It's not sticking out like a penis and I never knew it was a hole, I always thought of it as just some odd mound that I peed from. It was like not having genitals honestly, plus having sex just isn't relevant to a kid so I really just didn't care even though I wished I had the ability to pee on things from a distance because at 7-8 years old you don't know what the fuck else a dick is useful for. Didn't start getting bad dysphoria til puberty because of these reasons.

>>6837649
>>6837673
With square face very short may work, yes. If your face is feminine, better avoid that, you gonna look like dyke
You may want to ask a hairdresser what hairstyle would work for you, or make you look more masculine, or whatever

>>6830373
Be willing to fuck me in the ass, not the vagina. Don't touch my tits. Anything else is negotiable.

>>6840020
Oh shit, are you me?
I also thought my clitoris was a small peepee (it was kinda sticking out t b h) and assumed guys only have a peepee like me with no testicles though.
But yep never knew it was a hole too until like 12 or 13.

>>6839473

eh codeine is sorta shit and you do need a bit, which is why i let my tolerance go down in between and wait for longer periods when it's what i got... as far as opiates i've tried go i'd rank it last though, but it doesn't make me nauseous (only percs have...kratom isn't a true opiate so i won't count it), but i'll be honest i wouldn't recommend anyone who might be particularly sensitve to the negative effects or isn't already curious and about to try it do it...

i smoke weed and drink more than i do opiates, but it's partially cuz i can't just take opiates every day even though i would give nearly anything to feel that high all the time... and i've been taking them for half my life at this point on/off since i was young (my s/o's mom gave me my first oxy, i was in pain at her house and she gave me like one of those tiny round ones that's usually like 30 mg cuz for some reason the lower mg ones are always bigger... and well... i ended up getting high as fuck and thought it was easily one of the best things ever) i couldn't even properly put into words how much i love it... which is why i don't feel comfortable suggesting anyone else take it

>>6839490

yeah but i was saying i didn't understand why that was directed at me, cuz i don't care about other people's thoughts unless i have some level of love for them... and even then, it really depends...

i'm not particularly masculine, and i'm fine and comfortable with it in spite of being given shit for having long hair and whatnot... but i'm not into those clothes, and i was explaining to that guy why someone else suggested he wouldn't feel comfortable in public like that... and as someone who has known guys who wear that sorta shit i've seen the shit they get firsthand for it and would hope the guy into all that shit could take it... cuz when you can't that shit isn't pretty

but yeah it had nothing to do with me on any level... i appreciate the sentiment i just don't get why it's directed at me...

>>6840360
Can you try to explain what the high from it feels like?
Tried weed before too when I was in Amsterdam. Since it was my first time I went with something light and was disappointed when it only made me a little sleepy for a few minutes.

>>6840020

idk... i knew there was a hole and what oral sex and handjobs were for as long as i can remember (idk why entirely, i was too young and there's just a lot of blurs and blank spaces in memories that all feel surreal... so eh doesn't matter i figure), and i knew what sex was since i was like 5 (found a book in my friend's house as a kid that was bought for a sit down explanation/talk, but we read it cuz it was there and weird) ... watched porn since i was 7-8... and i know that's all relatively young for that but 12-13 seems old for that...

>>6840367

honestly for your first time even really shitty weed should be good enough cuz you've got nothing to compare it too... my first time smoking weed it was actually dusted with pcp though so it was a bit of a different, but like even now smoking weed as often as i do for years i can still get an ok high from shitty weed

you probably didn't inhale it right though, even if you smoke cigarettes your pulls were probably too shallow... people who are new to smoking tend to not get high or as high cuz they don't know how to smoke properly, which is actually why shotgunning a hit or two can help give them the idea...

i always tell people opiates feel like christmas cuz well... they do... they feel like christmas and laying by a fireplace on a cold day while it snows outside, just warm and pleasant... and like the way you feel right after really good sex... they're just this really warm euphoria, and depending on how much you take you're either able to do shit or you need to just lay down and feel that but there's no desire to feel anything else or do anything else... it feels like the only thing you need to feel ever, and it's nice to just get lost in it... really i'd rank it up there with sex, and wish the high lasted forever

but i mean... that's why i wouldn't recommend it...

>>6840402

compare it to* my bad...

>>6840402
Yeah, I've never smoked a cigarette before because I'm sensitive to that shit, avoid it like the plague. I was told I didn't inhale it enough but I did try to. I can't hold my breath for a very long time though, I guess that contributed to it.

Sounds pretty nice, all the more reason not to try it then. Any other stuff you've tried?

>>6840020
Damn I was the exact same way, literally never even noticing my genitals until puberty, and before that being a total tomboy too. Then everything went to shit as pubert mangled my body, and I started to become really anxious and withdrawn.

>>6840423

yeah, it's a matter of getting it into your lungs not holding your breath... that's why shotgunning helps cuz like you get an idea of the sensation... there's always edibles though

i haven't done a ton, few opiates (codeine, oxys, vicodin, morphine, and heroin), benzos (valium and xanax), pcp (only with weed though and it's the only drug i've had physical withdrawal from... i smoked a lot of it for 6-8 months every day from the time i woke up 'til i went to sleep), coke (hated it)... a couple legal highs and well weed... i'm open to most shit other than uppers, but it just hasn't come up... i prefer opiates to everything, but i mostly smoke weed cuz it's safer considering...

>>6840367
You just didn't smoke enough

>>6840441

you can get through a bag of weed and feel mostly sober if you didn't inhale right...

>>6840438
Yeah, I'm considering edibles. Does xanax really turn you into a zombie? That's how I've seen most people describe it.

>>6840441
I had the entire joint. It's just a matter of not inhaling it properly.

>>6840446
Only amateurs waste smoke.

upsides
>be able to save lots of money

downsides
>die for israel

>>6840434

Not the anon you're replying to, but mah nigga

>>6831221
it makes more sense tbqhwyf

>>6830211
Juan demonio. Bendiciones y buenas noches

>>6840265
I didn't know what a clitoris was and didn't know I had one til I was 13 and watched the South Park movie and then googled it.

>>6840434
Yeah that's just how it is and probably why so many more MTFs get really really bad dysphoria before puberty, penises are just obtrusive and you gotta worry about your balls and whatnot in your undies, vaginas don't do shit. It really is like having nothing, which just isn't a problem to young kids.

>>6840448

the high is different from edibles and delayed... keep that in mind when you try them you might be like "this isn't working" eat more and then wish you hadn't...

i actually really like benzos, better than weed, but yeah xanax will fuck you up if you take a lot of it often... i prefer it + weed + opiates than by itself though

>>6840449

no shit, he said it was his first time smoking so of course he was an amateur who wasted smoke... i was pointing out that he probably did smoke enough and just didn't inhale properly cuz he didn't know what he was doing

>>6840514
Yeah, I know it's delayed. I wouldn't expect it to work right away anyways, I take enough tablets to know anything through the digestive tract takes a while. Is xanax even in Europe? I feel like there's way too much of it in the US but nobody even knows about it here.

>>6840523

i just thought to say it cuz i was having a conversation with a friend who said the first time she had edibles she ate more cuz the delay was longer than she expected + you feel a bit of a buzz first before you really start to feel it so she thought that was gonna be it

i have no idea cuz i haven't been to europe in years and only drank when i was + i don't know people into drugs other than weed from europe

but a benzo high is just really soothing... not like opiate soothing, but it's pleasant... i haven't had any in a while, i mean i guess i had a bit of valium a little while back like... within the past 2 months at some point, i don't really remember when i just know it's happened since i've lived here, but i mean... i wouldn't count it... i forgot about it 'til just now cuz it wasn't enough to really be high and it was an experiment really cuz it was liquid valium

used to do it more often though... in particular i liked them for long car rides... whenever we'd go visit my s/o's mom i'd take valium or xanax for the car ride, and that's nice + to mix with weed or opiates

but it also always makes me wish i had an opiate instead... like any kind, even percs and they bother my stomach... i guess heroin did a bit too when i was coming down...

i was in this weird antique store/gallery with my s/o and his sister and had to step outside for fresh air + i figured if i did puke i'd prefer to do it in an alley... i didn't though so it was alright... percs just kinda make my stomach feel fucked up, no other pain, but i can feel it

with benzos idk ... i wouldn't mind feeling like that every day, but it's not worth the physical addiction to take them with any kinda frequency for a long period of time... can't lie and say i've never binged on them for a couple weeks here and there though... but i've also taken them on an off for years, mostly just really sporadically

like i have some valium, but i hadn't even thought about it 'til just now

>>6840557

+ but like... i know really bad benzo addicts and that can get really fucked up and the withdrawal is fucking scary... so that's another one i wouldn't necessarily recommend, but it really depends on you

for me though, even now that i remember i have valium i'm not gonna take it today... possibly tomorrow, but that's just cuz sunday really would be the perfect day for it... and maybe not even, and only partially cuz i might forget
about it again and just smoke weed instead... i suppose it's mostly just that it's the liquid kind and it's a bitch...

i mean granted if i was outside or at someone's house and was offered valium in any other form i'd take it immediately... but it's not like i'd go seek it out right now to buy it or anything either... and i know i could probably find it if i wanted them easy enough, but eh... they're better than weed but i'd rather smoke weed cuz i'm a bit more functional when i do... they're more special occasion type shit...

>>6840557
Yeah, I'm pretty careful with meds and shit in general (other than NSAIDs) so I wouldn't really consider having more right away if nothing started happening in the first few minutes.

I guess I'm on my own if I want to look for shit then. I could probably arrange a few things easily though. Weed definitely, dunno about other stuff. Then again, I did hear some kids in the village where I live talking about having money for meth so I don't think it'd be that hard to find stuff other than weed too.

Looked up valium, apparently it's used for anxiety which I have a shitton of. Maybe I'll try it someday, dunno.

Is there anything you actually would recommend?

>>6840020
Lmao I actually remember in elementary school looking up on yahoo answers if it was possible to be born without a vagina cause i wasn't sure if I had one or not
I never really thought of it as a kid

Side note,, any of you jerseyboys about to get fucked by this hurricane ?

>>6840597

meth is something i'd never take personally... like no fucking way, i've known people who have taken it like friends and shit and never... not only have i heard from everyone who tried it that there's better uppers (and i don't like uppers they make me into a mess), but if you can't handle the high it's really long... i spent a while talking to a friend who took it by accident (she thought it was coke at a party) to calm her down before, and it's really addictive i just wouldn't...

if i'm gonna be perfectly honest... i'd say stick to weed and alcohol, maybe if you find it take lsd or shrooms i've personally never taken either due to circumstance (whenever i'm somewhere i'd take them i can't find them and whenever i'm somewhere i can get them it's somewhere i wouldn't want to take them), but a lot of people have good experiences (in the right environment) with those and they're not every day kinda shit...

cuz like... if i'm honest i don't feel ok telling someone else to try any of the other shit i've done... i know and i've seen what comes along with it very closely and i know what can come with it too well... and that's not... i'll continue doing them whenever the opportunity arises but i wouldn't tell someone else to unless they already have or have tried other shit on their own first...

and idk how to find drug dealers, they just appear... like i met one while i was just smoking by a river, i've met them through friends, run into them in chinatown and coney island, met one at a gas station... idk... people who are into drugs have always kinda just flocked to me (even when i didn't take them really, and even when i didn't) so it's always been easy for me to get drugs... i've only ever bought weed... well and weed + pcp, i guess pcp counts even though it was on the weed... but whatever... my point is i've done other shit but it's all been free and handed to me so can't really tell anyone how to seek them out, they just appear

>>6840648

even when i didn't take them really often, and even when i didn't take them at all*

my bad... i started drinking at 13 and then opiates at 15, but like... i knew a bunch of people who were hardcore into a lot of drugs whereas i drank a couple times a year and took opiates a few times a year at that point but everyone i knew was heavy into shit... 'til i was around 19 when i was drinking more frequently and taking opiates more often and like i had benzos by then... but yeah... i actually didn't smoke weed 'til i was 21, i figured i wouldn't like it better than opiates so why bother? and i was right i don't, but i like it more than alcohol and i'm not gonna go through withdrawal if i don't have it here and there so that's why i smoke it...

>>6840648
Yeah, meth is not something I'd ever try either. Fucks you up too much, and I'm scared I'll end up addicted and ruin everything.

I heard psychedelics can trigger dormant mental disorders like schizophrenia and shit and it's not recommended to use it if you have people with that in your family. I dunno if it's true or not but my family does have a history of mental illness (not sure exactly what, literally none of them have ever gone to a doc and gotten diagnosed but it's obvious as fuck that they're not okay) so even though I do want to try it, I'm sort of iffy about it.

Yeah, I know what you mean with the dealers. I used to be the kind of person who was against drugs and alcohol and shit, but even then I somehow attracted sort of shady people. Or at least knew about them. I'd be able to find them if I really wanted to, anyways. Maybe it's just some kind of weird luck(?) to run into people who have or can acquire that kind of shit. Like back when I sort of started getting over the anti-drugs/alcohol thing, I was sitting outside drinking with some friends at a convention and some random dude showed up asking us if we wanted some coke. That entire convention was pretty interesting though.

>>6840684

weed can trigger it too...just saying typically it isn't a do it once then schizophrenia thing and like certain drugs can mimic it... auditory hallucinations can come with pcp like while you're high i mean... but with that i had highs that made me freak out and cry and like puking highs too (typically it wasn't bad, throw up, then feel better), but there were really amazing highs thrown in there and i kept taking it wanting to have those... most of the time i didn't have the really great ones... i was living in a really fucked up situation at the time too though so it was just, the only way to not feel like i was there for a little bit

i'd never seek it out again though, like... if it showed up i probably would take it again hoping for the best, but i'd never go looking... i hated the withdrawal, it made me so irritable and feel crazy... and i'd get these fucked up panic attacks (and i started taking a bunch of valium and xanax around then like if i had to stop for a bit cuz i couldn't get that day i'd xanax binge and i drank a lot...

for a while i couldn't enjoy just weed on its own after too, like now i can just enjoy it but after i stopped taking it altogether i couldn't it always felt like it was missing something and didn't last long enough... i used to go to sleep high and wake up in the morning still a little high and when i'd smoke a cigarette while i felt like that it'd come with this amazing rush...

but i also... if given the choice to have started taking them i probably wouldn't have... but like i also had a dealer who just sold dusted weed without saying anything at first so it was all sort of an accident in the first place... and i mean, once i knew it was just like... i didn't care right then i just gave a shit that it was better than just weed on its own and better than feeling anything else while i was there

i wasn't even mad at her when i found out... but yeah... i prefer knowing what i'm getting

>>6840768

+ but i've had dealers and friends who slip in extra drugs and i'm typically alright with it... like as long as it goes well i'm good

cuz like even with the coke... one of the best things i've ever felt (and i would never tell anyone to try this) was smoking dusted weed (my s/o and i found some while cleaning and we didn't know what weed it was cuz we had bought dusted weed and just weed just before that and we just kinda smoked it without thinking about it) just as i was starting to come down from coke... it was just... as the high kicked in it was probably one of the most incredible sensations i've ever felt... i'd never do it again, but i'd be lying if i said it wasn't great either

but yeah... idk... every drug i've tried the only reason i've tried it is cuz someone just kinda gave it to me in one way or another, same with alcohol too one of my uncles (he's an alcoholic) gave my cousin and i some beer when we were 13... like i've literally never sought any of it out

when i was a teenager i didn't actually get high with my friends or drink with them... i kinda only did that either with my s/o or by myself... like they did fucking everything it would've been whatever, but i just didn't want to...

but i might've done coke with that guy if he seemed alright had i been you... like i would've talked to him a bit first and considered it

but yeah... it's the kinda shit that just comes up

so what was interesting about the convention?

>>6840825

+ btw dusted weed has this really bitter fucked up taste it doesn't taste like weed at all, but it looks and smells about the same so it's easy to mix up... it's unlikely to come across though honestly i only found it cuz we were getting weed from a crazy ex dominatrix/stripper who had been homeless and shit and was living with her bf who she hated (she left him after he bought her breast implants), most dealers aren't like that... she got off on that kinda shit though too like she found it funny... our friend had gotten mad at her for it and she found it amusing and whatnot... she was hot though

but yeah if i knew i was mixing all 3 i wouldn't have... just cuz i wouldn't say pcp or coke were ever drugs i felt 100% sure of or safe with even while i was doing them...

i feel much more comfortable with downers... and i prefer mixing shit i'm comfortable with when i do it intentionally... when i'm unsure of something i would rather either only have weed with it or just have it by itself

>>6840768
>>6840825

One thing about the hallucinations is that I'm scared it'll go wrong and I'll have a bad trip. As I said, I have a lot of anxiety, lots and lots of things I'm scared of too. Who knows though.

The guy who offered coke was offering it for a price. He seemed pretty shady and I wasn't quite out yet so I was still seen as a girl, and at 3 AM some random 30 year old stranger and a young girl is probably not a good combination.

I was offered beer by my grandfather and wine by my grandmother since a very young age. I'm talking like 8 or something like that. Always hated it though, still do. It's like the only thing I can drink is vodka, jaegermeister or this other local thing which has like 52% alcohol. So yeah, strong stuff.

What was interesting about the convention? Well, it was my first time getting drunk there. I found out I enjoyed it quite a bit (probably more than for my own good). I also met this one girl there, very attractive and she was actually into me too. Weird thing was, she had a bf. According to her he was okay with it as long as it wasn't another guy but I still felt weird. Long story short, she got drunk as hell while I was still sober and pulled me aside a few times to make out with me. Which was kinda weird because there was some guy in a car just staring at us, and then later on her bf showed up out of nowhere and saw. He really was okay with it though, just shrugged and left again. Was the first time I ever did anything with a girl too. And then lastly there was the guy that offered the coke. He just showed up out of nowhere and was like "Hey guys, you got any drugs over here?" "No, we don't" "What about coke?". I guess it's not that funny when I type it out but at the time it was hilarious since it implied that coke isn't a drug.

>>6840892

i would prefer to have a benzo with me if a good chance to take something like lsd comes up... i'm not too worried about having a bad trip, but a benzo can kill that so even if it happened it'd be fine, i wouldn't take it alone either...

yeah nah that isn't the best combination... my dad let me taste beer and whatnot when i was younger than that but i don't count it cuz i didn't really drink it... but i mean i actually drank that time...i was just curious about its effects so i just drank it as quickly as possible and had a few that time

i like wine, i can't drink beer anymore (allergy issues now) and when i did it was typically cuz i'm not a huge fan of vodka or really highproof rum if it isn't spiced rum... so i'd take beer and use it as a mixer for them... like 5 shots of overproof rum of vodka to a can or bottle of beer

jager is the only hard shit that doesn't make me sick now... everything else can really fuck me up, i still drink other shit from time to time though... if it's there and it feels like a drinking day, but i mostly avoid it... i used to love shit like whiskey (which is good with amaretto btw), cognac, brandy... don't like gin or tequilla, but i'll drink them... i never liked mixed drinks though, unless it's alcohol + alcohol... and there was a point where i was mixing muscle relaxers and whiskey (which is another thing no one should do... it can kill you) for a bit... so i prefer shots to anything... i hate vodka a lot, i mean... i'll drink it and just take shots but i don't like it at all... the best things about it are that it can be the cheapest shit you can get a lot of if you have no standards... but even when i have no standards i prefer shitty whiskey ...like for real no standards, just wanna get too drunk for a couple days, giant plastic jug that's like $10 for shit that mostly just burns when you drink it + a lot of people drink vodka so typically if you're getting free alcohol it's vodka

>>6841006
>>6840892

+ oh that's usually how it works though, a lot of straight guys with bi gfs are cool with them messing around with chicks... if anything that's probably one nice bonus about being a pre-everything transguy come to think of it...

but yeah i've known a lot of chicks in relationships like that... the other stuff doesn't seem weird to me either, but i've done way more than make out in public places before... and like in just a room with other people there cuz shit happens sometimes... so idk...

and that is kinda funny... i suppose in a certain light it isn't, but it's easy to say that about a lot of things that are...

>>6841023

+ sounds like you had a good time though...

>>6841006
Over here the most popular stuff is vodka and rum. Mostly rum though, which is a shame because I fucking hate it. Like you and vodka, I will drink it though. Shots > anything mixed. I don't know about you but I drink to get drunk. Don't really like the taste of any alcohol, it's all nasty, but stuff like vodka doesn't bother me too much which is why I drink it. I think I tried some shitty cheap whiskey once but it was really bad. Haven't tried anything more expensive or good because I usually just stick to (cheap) vodka when I can so I have no idea if I just don't like whiskey or if it was just some really bad stuff (the others with me were complaining about it too though). Tried gin once, never again. Kinda funny story about that too, there were a bunch of us over at a friend's place and I just walked into his room to say hi, saw some random opened bottle of gin behind his computer that had been there for who knows how long and had some after asking. I dunno why I thought it would be a good idea but whatever.

>>6841023
Yeah, thing is, he was beta as fuck. And a bad bf. She had a major hangover the next day, puking everywhere and shit, and the person standing with her making sure she didn't vomit over herself was not him but some random guy she met the night before (and whom she hardly even talked to, there was nothing between them). She's not even bi, apparently, since she doesn't want sex with a girl but it looks like she's into girls that look like guys so I think she is, just a little bit.

I just haven't really had the opportunity to do more than that to be honest. I tried to last time I saw her but I'm actually in a relationship and she knows that so she kept coming onto me and then pulling away again before anything happened. She left early too, maybe if she had been there longer something would've happened.

Yep, I did have fun. Conventions are always interesting though.

>>6830211
What do you guys think about mpreg?

>>6841097
Not something for me. I'd abort asap or do anything possible to miscarry early on. And if that wasn't possible then I'd probably just an hero to be entirely honest. I don't really care if other people do it though.

>>6841097
I think it's hot, but not for me. I have nightmares where I'm pregnant. I'm terrified of it ever happening to me.

>>6841097
You mean that weird fanfiction shit or ftms getting pregnant?

a.) Yeah I'm not into fanfiction
b.) All the power and good vibes to them if they can manage mentally/emotionally to get through something like that. I don't think I could do that though, I want kids really bad but I think I'll just do that egg freezing thing.

>>6839315
I (very embarrasingly) cried at work, my schedule has my birth name, I'm not on T, but my coworkers still clock me as a guy.

Come on now.jpg. Masculinity and emotions aren't mutually exclusive.

Anyone here intersexed?

I'm not sure if I am, but I have a line on my vag that feels an awful lot like scar tissue. Haven't bothered to demand my court documents desu. Once I hit puberty I started developing really masculine secondary sex characteristics. Everyone started asking me if I was a girl or a boy then.

if you are, how did you find out?

>>6841745
I'm not particularly well educated on the subject but in the case that you were born visibly intersex and were "corrected", wouldn't they have removed any testicles? Pretty sure you can ask your parents too, they should know if you've had any surgery like that. Do you get periods?

>>6841055

i'm not a huge fan of the taste of most alcohol, i do actually like wine and champagne though... but i don't drink for the taste either

my s/o and i used to buy cheap whiskey all the time for binges it does really suck though...

my s/o and i tried gin cuz when we were teenagers his mother didn't care if we drank what she had in the house and she had a bunch of shit... and it was one of those days where we were just taking shots of all the new shit she bought that day and gin was one of them... we both hated it

i'm pretty sure it's my least favorite kinda alcohol

whoever you're with would mind if you fucked around a bit? i've never been in a relationship where that was 100% not allowed...

>>6841846
I have to keep it a secret from my parents, they'd be thoroughly disappointed to know I drink to get drunk even though I don't do it often. Pretty much all the men and some women in my family are or were alcoholics so they're concerned.

Well, it was okay for that convention, to a certain extent. But outside of that or if I really got physical with anyone, it wouldn't be okay. I'm the kind of person who can't keep their hands to themselves, it actually puts a lot of pressure onto me to try to ignore it. Then again, he's the jealous type and it really hurts him so I don't really know how to handle it.

Overall our relationship is pretty fucked though. He likes girls (we got into a relationship before I came out), I like girls, but somehow we have strong feelings for each other. He can't touch me because I just can't get turned on plus dysphoria so anything sexual is pretty much one sided. On top of that, his family is a bit on the conservative side so we can't tell them I'm trans even though I already got T and do see them often. Changes are bound to happen soon and I really don't know what to do then. Both of us are scared of what'll happen since it could very well be he'll stop wanting to be with me and break it off or some shit once changes do happen.

>>6841769
Not necessarily. I've probably researched this too much, but things like have too big of a clit or labia that aren't correctly shaped qualify.

I do have periods, but really irregularly. I also have hair growth not typical of women, despite not yet starting T.

I had some long stints at the hospital after birth. It's possible I had surgery and the doctors just didn't tell my parents.

>>6841997
Pretty sure it'd be illegal to not tell the parents that they did any kind of surgery on their newborn baby but whatever.

True, true, not typically shaped also qualifies but when it's shaped oddly, I thought that was also a sign of being intersex?

The hair growth and irregular periods can be a sign of PCOS which is pretty common among trans guys.

I'd say it's worth looking into those papers though. If it does turn out you're intersex, you could hopefully sue them and use that money for HRT/surgeries or something. Any chance we could get a look at what you think are scars?

>>6841909

i can keep my hands to myself, i just don't necessarily always want to is the thing... and i find the idea of always having to just cuz you've decided to share your life with someone odd... i couldn't live with the "you have to" hanging over my head... cuz like i'm typically monogamous, but i don't want it forced on me cuz sometimes i'm not gonna be... and my s/o is ok with it, and like we're also open to dating someone together and have... idk... we both trust each other to be in this...

when my s/o and i first got together and honestly 'til he went no contact with his mom (she's a narcissist) she would go back and forth between trying to break us up and then doing weird shit like getting us both tickets for cruises and shit... and she was just... really fucking awful, she'd do shit like grab my ass and make constant comments about my physical appearance and then do even weirder shit like call me into rooms for help and then be changing and shit (i put up with it cuz of his brother and sister and shit btw), she would insult me and our relationship in public places... his bday dinner was ridiculous... and then do weird shit like take us to europe and on a cruise and whatnot... and well... free drugs... and she'd do things like dress up, put on a ton of make up to drink and take pills and lay around on the couch to make her kids listen to her talk dramatically about how she was gonna kill herself... and idk... we were living with her when all the shit with the pcp was going on actually... and that's, it was an awful situation... i'm not gonna even...

but like that, and just... a ton of other shit and we made it work... none of that shit you're talking about is easy but it's possible to stay with someone through a lot of really fucked up hard shit...

>>6841097

There was a time when I was mildly into it, but tbqh I like straight mpreg best and that's impossible to find. I don't get it too much but it doesn't bother me.

>>6841745

I used to think I was but my papers say I'm female and I menstruate fine. I have PCOS though.

>>6841140

I would like to be pregnant once but the 'giving birth' part kills me. I'm completely against hospital births and would only want a natural one. I am too wimpy to deal with the pain though.

>>6842491
Yeah, I find it pretty weird too. And inconvenient, obviously. We've sort of talked about it though and it doesn't look like he really plans to do anything about it. I'm not sure I should really press him either since it'd just hurt him. I do understand him though, I wouldn't like the idea of him having someone else on the side either.

Sounds pretty awful. Couldn't imagine living with someone like that.

>>6842607

the first thing i said to my s/o before we started actually dating was that i didn't want a monogamous relationship but that i wanted to spend my life with him... and it's what he wanted too so it works out...i'm pretty upfront about how i am with people though, i know there's no changing it so people have to just accept it if they want more with me you know?

i guess if denying that part of yourself is worth having him in your life then that's what matters though

it was really bad, i honestly think i've only really talked about it with like 3 people ever...and my s/o and i don't really bring it up

there were some good times though thrown in there... mostly good highs and like shit between my s/o and i...but it wasn't all bad at least idk... to be perfectly honest it's all just sort of a blur and i mostly just remember a lot of the decent shit...so it's whatever now, sucked mostly than though, but i mostly just hid from her and stayed high and drunk the entire time so it was bearable enough... didn't have a better option at the time either (we had ended up there cuz the roommate situation we were in with this alcoholic and this guy who thought he was a prophet went to shit + i had lived there on and off when i was in hs anyway cuz my dad used to kick me out every so often... my s/o would live with me when his mom did the same... so i figured at least i knew what it'd be like... but honestly nope, she was a new level of crazy by then) the other choice was living with my family which we ended up doing anyway cuz she decided to kick us out during easter she wanted us to stay, we visited my family instead... so she threw most of our stuff out into the yard, it snowed, all our shit got ruined and then she called us days later to let us know she did it and that we could just live with my family cuz she didn't want us back...and that was also pretty terrible...cuz really our families are about the same...

i've been in a lot of shitty living situations

>>6843213

+ i've never really been in a great living situation honestly... not sure what that's like...

>>6841140
>I think it's hot, but not for me.
same

>>6841745
>>6841997
If you have a vagina, and still have menses then I don't think you're intersex. Sounds a lot like a case of moderate PCOS.
I have a similar thing (larger genitals and irregular periods) but it's just hormonal to do with having excess T. An endocrine disorder rather than an intersex one
And as far as I know most intersex people find out from their parents/when they go through puberty.
>It's possible I had surgery and the doctors just didn't tell my parents.
It doesn't happen. Even if doctors might be invasive with surgeries on intersex kids, they always tell or "advise" the parents.

>>6831327
Same here - from start of school (4yo) where boys were often separated from girls, I was put with girls omg. Terrified to undress in their presence - they'd notice I was really a failed boy. Looking down when wearing tight pants made me vomit unexpectedly. Fully convinced that my genitals would develop of their own accord (which they did), growing breasts (11yo) caused severe drepression. Discussed the issue anonymously with a doctor for minors. Happy end: F puberty suppressed, soon after M hormones + removal of remaining breast tissue; minor surgery normalized my penis. Smaller than average (so what) & fully functional.

>>6830373
Heh, thanks pal
I'm gay, ftm in distant past (first b/f's turned out gay). I date gay cis men, which works great as I prefer older guys, many of which admire the twinkish looks unusual for my age (>40).

Valuable question - what do I look for? Time to give this some thought, instead of passively(?) staying with the best match of the 'volunteers'. (I didn't learn behaviour boys 7-17 teach each other, like how/when to initiate...)

>>6843427
>An endocrine disorder rather than an intersex one
That's reasonable, and what I've assumed forever. Just wanted to check my bases.

I don't want to get it "fixed", i like being masculine. Looking into it would cost money and it's not causing any problems (except socially, during puberty).

I do wish I was more masculine though. A transguy friend pointed out two longer chin hairs among my peach fuzz and I found myself oddly pleased. I think I'd like having a full beard.

>>6843213
Wow, that really sucks. I've always had a good living situation but unfortunately I have cousins who are in very similar situations to you. Except they're constantly being pushed back and forth from one parent to the other.

Personally I don't like the idea of denying a part of myself just to be with him. I mean, I'd be pretty devastated if the relationship ended but I don't like the way it is now in that aspect. I guess we just have to talk about it some time and decide on some middle ground or something. Him saying it's not okay is not going to stop me anyways, it just means he'll never know about it. Which would just ruin the relationship even more if he ever found out.

>>6845606

i'm in a different situation now... my father is out of my life and his mom is out of his... we just got close when we were young cuz of the mutual getting kicked out

when i was 19 my family moved out of brooklyn and i stayed... for a little bit we had our own place (but it was kind of a complicated and shitty and a lot was going on), then the bad roommate situation followed, then we lived at his mother's, then my parents', we spent a lot of time going back and forth after that for a bit (some of it was us actually staying outside in ny and crashing with friends here and there cuz it was the only way he could see his bro and sis at the time), we lived in his grandmother's apartment for a bit too... after she died, that shit was crazy too... and somewhere in there we spent a lot of time in jersey crashing at our friend's house for weeks that eventually added up to months...then back to my family and now we're out of that situation and sharing a house with a roommate...

which is honestly one of the better living situations i've been in, but eh... there's a lot of issues too...

some of it's me like i had a bad panic attack yesterday (my hands were shaking) cuz for the first time in 2 weeks our roommate decided to touch the dishwasher and it was to put dirty dishes away in the cabinets (he thought they were clean cuz i rinse them first, he never does that so i'm always going through the dishwasher to do that or rewashing his dishes if i didn't notice he put something in before i turned it on) it was shit though... first thing in the morning i went to make my s/o coffee and then noticed that... and i just hid in the bathroom, had a silent meltdown, and then cleaned every single dish, cup, utensil etc in the house while him and my s/o were at work cuz i didn't know what was what and it all seemed tainted... cuz i mean obviously i'm not gonna freak out at him over it, but i can't handle that kinda shit

>>6845750

+ and he's like the kinda person who mistakes a lack of clutter for cleanliness... like he got weird once about me leaving clean dishes out after they dried cuz i was feeling too sick to put them away (though he didn't bother me too much about it, instead he bothered my s/o after i said i was having a bad day cuz of the weather... storms
fuck me up bad) meanwhile he literally had meat juice all over the counter and every room i don't clean has this weird collection of dead bugs and dust in the windowsills... his dogs come and go and nearly all of them piss inside and he doesn't always notice or clean it (i end up doing it cuz i can't live like that), he's done shit like spilled coffee all over the floor and not noticed it but then like clears a table and thinks he's cleaned...

and that's... i find it draining to live with cuz i have limited amounts of energy from being sick all the time and cleaning takes more of it than it should cuz of him and his dogs... there's other shit too, but mostly it's just the ways he's messy...

>>6845760

+ when i say his dogs come and go i mean him and his gf have 7 between them and for whatever reason they rotate which ones are here and which ones are with her so there's anywhere from 2-4 dogs here typically... sometimes more, but almost never just one of them...

as for the relationship thing... that really doesn't sound like a good situation for either of you... i honestly never understood people who enter strictly monogamous relationships feeling like they already might cheat... seems unfair to do at all to me... at the same time i can't understand why if you both like girls you two couldn't just share a few from time to time...