secrets thread

Kys

i knew i wasn't alone

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I buy guns and never shoot them

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I ejaculated into the cleaning storage compartment of an ak stock I had laying around once.

I still haven't cleaned it and it's been three years.

>>33975663
post pics

>>33975595
I still say Constantinople instead of Istanbul.

>>33975663
please post pics

>>33975595
I slept with my AK for no less than 3 years and only stopped because I ran out of room after I downsized and destroyed several pairs of sheets.
>>33975663
Quite possibly the most /k/ thing I've heard all day.
>>33976160
I don't specifically say Constantinople but I do use them interchangeably.

>>33976160
I do this too

>>33975595
Just want a handgun for CC and shooting nothing more or less.

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I don't like shooting or guns as much anymore...mostly because I know I have to put "responsibilities" before what is essentially a hobby..

>>33975663
I want to eat it...penis brittle...I can't be the only one!

>>33975595
I've been here forever and I never even once a gun

>>33975595
I spent 1300 USD on a basic bitch colt m4 in 2013 and I never shoot it. Less than 100 rounds through it.

>>33976645
Are you me...I'm lonely too!

>>33976645
I reply to my own threads for attention. ..kill me

>>33976662
Sounds good bro>>33976662
Ok...how u doing?

>>33975595
I only own a hi-point .45 rifle, a hi-point .45 pistol, a .22 little badger, a .22 heritage revolver, a 12 gauge single action shotgun, and a 12 gauge bolt action shotgun

The 12 gauges for hunting and trap shooting with dad, the .22 heritage because it was on sale, the .45's for home defense, and the Little Badger because I'm hyped af for the Hearing Protection Act and it's threaded.

Laugh at me, /k/. I'm not a fudd, but this is all I got

>>33976684
Don't be ashamed /k/ bro...you have guns...shoot and enjoy them!...a gun is still a gun!

>>33976690
Forget it dude. ..they'll never remember it...do better in the future. ..how about you? What's up!?

>>33976715
I still piss the bed sometimes...alcohol is a factor though. ..fml

>>33976729

sounds like my life.

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>>33976700
Thanks, anon

>>33976729
You're better off than me still man...sorry about your past...I'm a 29 yo neet living with mom & dad...are you irish? (potatoes )

>>33976747
No problem bud!

>>33975649
>Buys guns
Well that puts you a step above like 85% of this place.

>>33976768
I hear you man. I'm in the U.S...Iowa...how's your gun situation?

>>33976777
This is a fact.

>>33976794
>reliable 5
What's that?

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>>33975595
My brother was a real douche to me when I was younger. He always had a size advantage and was one step of me, I could just never get revenge. When my father gave him a 22 rifle and I didn't get one even though I was more well behaved I was disgruntled to say the least. I pissed on my brother's rifle when he went to wrestling practice, he forgot to put it up. My father didn't catch me peeing on it but he found me near it outside, assumed my brother was irresponsible, and beat him. Looking back now, I am quite ashamed for peeing on that rifle. It was a nice rifle actually, a ruger 10/22 if I recall.

>>33976812
I mean....it could be alot worse man. I've got a few pistols...an M1 garand, m1 carbine, an m4 carbine. ..and a few others. Sounds like you have the basics covered. I'm a poorfag too

>>33976722
Diabetes makes me piss the bed its why i dont sleep with my guns

>>33976825
Lol...fuck it they're cheap

I have extreme anxiety about shooting some of my guns because I dont want to ruin the barrels on them. It's bad enough I won't even shoot certain guns.

>>33976837
Mabye you should loose some weight fag! Get on my level...I'm only 340.

>>33976856
Im 320 fellow fat ass just bad genetics i guess

>>33976847
So...are you complaining? I'm just confused. You have guns at least. Sorry I'm a little drunk.

>>33975595
>>>33976856
>Im 320 fellow fat ass just bad genetics i guess
>Muh genetics
Eats a big mac , slice of pizza , doritos for supper
I hate my genetics

>>33976898
No no im a fat ass because of how i eat i mean the fact im 320 with diabetes while some people 400+ dont have it

>>33976909
I'm in the same boat bro...I was just fucking around..plus im a lil drunk..how old/tall are you?

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I put on gun youtube and then ignore it and do other stuff like there's an autistic guy talking at everyone about shit no one cares about. I don't even like guns.

>>33976927
26 and around 6 even or 6'1

What about you? What are you drinking?

when i'm alone i get a fist full of spent brass and cycle it through my rem 700 so i get that sound of brass on a wood or concrete floor

feels good man

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>holding gun
>look at clock
>time is calibur of that gun


I smirk like a dumbass and praise the kube for a second every time it happens

>>33976946
Lol...cool I'm 29, 6'1"...hawkeye vodka shots and natty ice....don't judge me I'm poor and it's not what I prefer.

>>33976964
Any alchol is good alchol if its what you can afford take a shot for me

I haven't actually owned a gun in almost 2 years now. Had to sell them all at one point just to keep me off the street after the company I worked for went under. I still post old pics of my funs in certain threads. Since everything is going back to normal for me I am planning on buying a new pistol in the upcoming weeks.

>>33976969
Just did man. Are you in the US?

>>33976977
Yes sir down in texas you?

>>33976971
Fuck man that's rough. Props to you for doing what you had to to survive! It WILL get better!

to those talking about weight loss and the like. I've been doing cardio shit like its going out of fucking style running 3+ miles a day, 5 miles on the bike, 75-100 floors on the stair machine and 6000 meters on the row machine a day for months and havent lost a fucking pound. I eat 2 cups of cereal for breakfast with coffee (some cream and sugar) 2 small packets of tuna for lunch and some rice with chicken for dinner.

ive been doing this 4 days a week with 1 day of rest midweek and half of all that on weekends with no result (other than barely breaking a sweat on the stairs and bike now)

what do?

>>33976982
Stranded in Iowa...lol

>>33976953
There's no shame in that...it's meditation

>>33975595
>to those talking about weight loss and the like. I've been doing cardio shit like its going out of fucking style running 3+ miles a day, 5 miles on the bike, 75-100 floors on the stair machine and 6000 meters on the row machine a day for months and havent lost a fucking pound. I eat 2 cups of cereal for breakfast with coffee (some cream and sugar) 2 small packets of tuna for lunch and some rice with chicken for dinner.
>
>ive been doing this 4 days a week with 1 day of rest midweek and half of all that on weekends with no result (other than barely breaking a sweat on the stairs and bike now)
>
>what do?
>>33976990
>>33976990
>>33976990
Bait...fail/10

>>33976990
How long have you been doing this?

>>33977008
close to 4 months with occasional breaks for a few days when i get fed up.

>>33976729
>have a house with land
Are you digging a hole in it to prepare for the great unnaground Migration?

Get back under your bridge troll...I need to rape your mother before work tomorrow.

>>33977007
Do strength training on top of your cardio.
Read the sticky >>>/fit/

>>33975595
I am incredibly paranoid and carry pretty much 24/7. In my house, work, pretty much anywhere and every I have a firearm on me. It's gotten to the point I bolted a holster to my side of the bed on the wooden frame thing in case someone breaks into my room while me and my wife are sleeping and I need to defend myself. Also I sleep very light and the smallest sound will wake me up.

Little backround on why I always carry:

>be me
>be 2:00 in the morning
>working on some guns in my office
>hear rustling in my backyard
>think nothing of it, foxes and shit are pretty common where I live and they're in my backyard all the time
>few seconds later the window to my left sounds like it's being fucked with
>realize screen is trying to be taken off
>still think it's some foxes and that they'll go away in a second
>it wont, set my shit down to take a look and then hear the window going up
>pull curtain back
>it's a nignog trying to break into house
>he sees me and is fumbling to take a knife out
>grab the closest gun to me, a old 1911 my grandpa gave me that I just cleaned and forgot to put into my safe (also unloaded)
>I yell at him to get the fuck outta here while I point the pistol at him
>he sees it and bolts outta my backyard and ate shit climbling over my fence
>call cops, lock all doors and windows, I'm not about to chase some runaway nignog in the night
>turns out dude was wanted for burglary and attempted murder

Fun times I guess.

>>33977047
Back to your containment board

>>33977054
they aren't even fat shaming you calm down

>>33977060
>brushes off Doritos crumbs
sorry guys...I'm just hungry

>>33975663

>he doesn't deliver the pic

never happened, you faggot

>>33977069

This is not how you greentext you newfaggot

>>33977173
I don't care...this is the internet...I'm drunk...fuck off die

>>33977241
yeah nobody believes that

>>33977176
I feel you anon...you seem like a practical guy...guns aren't cheap anywhere...unless you're a nigger.

>>33977250
Believes what??...lol...I literally don't give a fuck what 4fag or any of you think.

I'm a Bong and the highest capacity firearm I have is a 2+1 Benelli M2

>>33977254

go back to >>>/r/eddit then.

>>33977254
k

Nah...think I'll stay right here...it's comfy watching fags like you squirm over us "newfags"

>>33977268
thats also fine as long as you don't post

>>33977271
I can't guarantee that but then again you'll never know. Peace man.

I'm a social conservative but an economic liberal, which means I'm basically alone in the world, especially since I'm from a family of Hollywood Jews whose opinions are the polar opposites of mine.

I'm also kind of a fudd. I'm all for semiautomatic magazine fed rifles and would love to repeal the NFA and the Hughes Amendment, but give me the choice and I'll take wood and steel and ironsights over rails and plastic and electronics any day. My dream "loadout" would be something like a classic CZ-75, a '50s police 870, and a FAL or CETME with wood furniture, if that gives you an idea of my taste. (I'd compromise and put a scope rail on the rifle, though, and run either a 4x or some sort or an Aimpoint.)

>>33976869
You can weigh 320 just eating chicken breast. You chose to do it with shit that spiked your glucose to absurd levels. That's the reality.

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>>33975610
>>33975663
>>33975595
>>33976431
>>33976589
>>33976607

/k/ a magical place

>>33975663

You might have cute little AK babbies

NFA fraud and counterfiet tax stamps are more prevalent than the ATF would like you to believe. I even know of local LEO'S abusing the system.

>>33977023
You're not being honest about your diet.

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>>33975595
How often do you buy a new refrigerator?

>>33976853

They're meant to be shot senpai

>>33977351
That is a pretty different stance friend. So what are your tenents, like you dont think gays should marry but .gov should cover healthcare? Ive got no idea what socially conservative means.


Id like a daughter but im in no way ready to raise a child, and i havent even dated in 2 years now. Im pretty sure ive just got a romantic idea of what raising a kid is like, doesnt help that literally all my friends are married and have/are having kids. Last one just went down yesterday.

>>33976596
Adequate self-defense IS a responsibility.

>>33978390
This.

Math doesn't lie. You can't burn more calories than you swallow, and not force your body to find the energy to live somewhere, ie, fat.

Your cheat days are fucking you.

>>33976729
HOBBY
OBBY
BBY
BY
Y

no 4 rlz. My 6 year old brother likes to topple dominoes. Im into jewelrysmithing

Get a productive hobby, youll feel better

>>33975595

I prefer prebuilt,/factory ARs over built rifles.

Also getting a complete lower and putting a complete upper on it isn't building a rifle


AR pistols are stupid, they're terrible as pistols and terrible as rifles. And we all know they're gonna be used as short barreled rifles.

>>33976684

You can sell all that shit and get a good centerfirerifle


it's better to have one expensive good gun than alot of shit guns

>>33978403
It's kind of hard to explain, I guess the easiest way is to run down some of my main issues.

On the conservative side:
>Pro-gun
>Pro-cop
>Pro-military
>Pro-death penalty
>Pro-American society and identity
>Anti-drug
>Anti-illegal immigration
>Anti-SJW bullshit
>Anti-Affirmative Action
>Anti general degeneracy (hypergamy, welfare exploitation, glorifying ghetto culture, etc.)

But on the liberal side:
>Pro-corporate regulation
>Pro-taxing the rich
>Pro-financial regulation
>Pro-media regulation
>Pro-environmental regulation
>Pro-healthcare
>Pro-education
>Pro-minimum wage
>Pro-union (but bust the fuck out of them if they're corrupt)
>Pro-welfare, but only temporary and when absolutely necessary
>Pro-gay marriage, but not gay adoption
>Pro-abortion, because banning it just makes more welfare babies and future criminals

A few that don't really fit either:
>Give minorities a fair chance, but not unfair advantages (education and healthcare are by far the best ways of doing this IMO)
>Punish corporations for outsourcing, which would've been a liberal stance until Trump
>America should be assertive in foreign policy and take nobody's shit, which would've been a conservative stance until Trump
>Fuck Russia
>Fuck China

I want to move out to a state with better fun laws, but it doesn't seem like a justifiable reason for leaving behind my family and friends whom I love very much.

t. Noguns NJ resident

>>33976909
Protip: you dont get diabetes from being fat. You get diabetes from fucking your system with too much sugar for too long

>>33976729
better off than me

>>33977351
Are you me holy fuck

>>33976160
>>33976393
>>33976431
>he doesn't call it Byzantium

>>33978391
every few years

My parents admitted they're anti gun because they're certain they'd commit suicide if they had access to one. They softened their anti gun stance telling me I could get one due to my experience with them, then told me that after they were sure I got some but didn't tell them. Now I'm certain they know I have them before they told me, and I'm stuck trying to figure out how to get rid of them without alerting them even though they WANT to catch me with it, since they'd rather be murdered by a stranger, they can't even go outside without locking the door because they've had break ins before and fear the area they live in. I think they just wanted something to hang over my head to use in arguments giving me an okay to get one. At the same time I still think their life sucks enough that they would do it if they had access.

>>33978535
>Pro-media regulation
You fucking wot m8? That is a good way to slide down a slippery slope. Why would you EVER want media regulation? What is the logic behind this?

>>33978933
What a shitty situation. I feel for you anon.

I'm a fatass and I'm terribly ashamed of it. Working on losing weight, but I feel that it's irresponsible of me to let it go this far in the first place. It makes me feel as if i need to prove myself that I'm not just some lazy fat fuck (which, surprisingly, I'm not, except for the fat part. I hate being lazy. )

>>33979051
I mean the stuff we had before Reagan deregulated it. Prohibitions on a single person or company owning too many outlets or monopolizing a market, conflict of interest regulation, financial disclosure laws, the Fairness Doctrine, etc.

>>33979065
Nobody will understand the situation. I nearly killed one of them with my bare hands. Threatening them with the police made it worse. They only understand violence.

>>33976990
Cut the sugar. It's not a vitamin. You don't need it. Consuming it makes your body release insulin, which stops fat burning because it's a hormone that tells your body to store fat. Basically you need to have your coffee with just milk.

>>33978535
You sound like a national socialist desu. Not a bad thing, so long as you don't start gassing minorities.

>>33976990
Assuming not bait

Focus on your diet, and especially portion sizes. Lots of good info around, try keto diet, works for me, but do some research. Get that under control and accept that you will be hungry as your stomach adjusts to normal size. If you feel tempted to cheat, just ask yourself what is more important to you, an extra something that you won't remember in a week let alone a year, or getting in good shape and actually improving your life. Good luck

>>33978697
The time in which it was called Byzantium was its least-relevant point in history. That's being a hipster. That's like that guy who calls The Rock "Rocky Mavia."

>>33978415
>Adequate self-defense IS a responsibility.
yeah, that I have..I don't need like 20 variants of the same gun to be adequate with it.

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>>33976589
rly hope ur lyin tbhfampi

>>33976664
>>33976654
>>33976645
i am one person and i posted all of these

I covered up a war crime one of the men in my fireteam committed in Afghanistan.

>>33980118
...go on.

>>33976638
I'll trade you some scuba gear for it. I legit have scuba gear

>>33980127
Not today. I've told it 1 time here before. It's in the archives.

Rifles haven't clicked with me. I prefer pistols.

I have a good semi-automatic shotgun I got for skeet shooting, but only used twice. I should sell it and get a fun I want.

>>33977351
Are you me?

>>33979402
Western Roman empire a best

>>33976747
Who's to say those are shit guns. Most of the guys here don't have any guns and many have never even held one. Your doing OK. Enjoy your hobby man.

>>33980118
I wouldn't call that a war crime

>>33982511
You don't know what happened. So how would you know?

>>33975595
>refrigerator
What?

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>>33979137
dude please relax...just take a breath

>>33976777
>777
holy trips if truth

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>>33980118

>>33975595
I'm still obsessed with an ex girlfriend but I think I'll get over it some day. In the meantime guns are my girlfriends and I haven't been laid in like a year

>>33976160
>tfw I have to go listen to this song now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsQrKZcYtqg


>inb4 the video is a cartoon
Fuck you, if you're in your 30's this is probably how you heard the song for the first time.

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I CC pic related

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>>33976825
>He always had a size advantage

>>33983132
Say no more...

I'm a phenomenal shot with a rifle but all I want to buy is handguns with which I have the accuracy of a liberal with Parkinson's.

People who open carry their rifles into public areas for the sole purpose of "because it's muh rights" should lose their rights to guns. It's fucking embarrassing.

>>33983177
Get into elep tronics and maglev then make a chot

>>33976825
>I pissed on my brother's rifle
So it's yours now right?

>>33975595

I like to lube myself up with Hoppes no 9 and spit bullets at targets.

>>33976589
Can't tell if real, or just a convincing shitpost. Either way you suck.

>>33983243
No you dont

>>33976982
>>33976991

Are you two gonna fuqq or nah?

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>>33975595
When I was younger, and I just started puberty I decided it was a good idea to stick my dick in the lever of a lever action toy gun I had just like pic related. I tried to cock the gun with my cock but it didn't work so well. I kinda got a semi from it.

>>33983212
What

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>Got a brand new Daisy Model 1938B Red Ryder on my 10th birthday.
>Friend and I go plinking cans
>Friends turn.
>takes a shot
>Puts barrel in mud
>Me: "Pull it up!"
>he does
>Cleans barrel off with hand
>Looks in barrel to check for mud
>Edgy little shit mode engaged
>"Look at me! I'm Kurt Cobain!"
>Gun in mouth, finger on trigger, safety off.
>Dad sees it
>Explodes, yelling at me, takes gun away from me for three weeks
>A few months later friend is back over
>"lets plink cans"
>Dad is fixing truck, watching
>He goes and sets them up.
>I shoot him in the ass
>Look at dad
>Offer to surrender my firearm to him
>Shakes his head with a smirk and goes back to fixing.

mfw

>>33983295
you did it soft? no wonder it didnt work

>>33976958
>checks phone at random time
>it's 3:08 pm
>co-worker see me checking the clock
>asks why time it is
>"it's real FN NATO"
>he laughs and says "less than an hour till we clock out"

>>33983365
Damian is a hansy boy <3
his lips look like a constant butthole though

>>33983132
So was he a big guy?

>>33976869
>just bad genetics i guess
Or you don't exercise enough for how much you eat. At most (muh) genetics issues only add about 15-20lbs on ya. Unless you're one of the 3% of people who actually have a legit condition preventing them from losing weight. Which I doubt.

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>>33983374
I was young and inexperienced with fucking guns.

>>33976853
I get worries like this with my Type 53, it's all matching and the barrel is pristine so every time I shoot it I clean the barrel then worry if I cleaned it enough or not. My confession is that I'm not one of the cool kids that ignores AWBs, I live in New York and have a goofy spur-grip AR. It's not horribly uncomfortable but I can't stand how it looks, and I feel like a huge cuck. I can't wait to move, whenever I see you guys making fun of featureless guns I just feel like a colossal faggot.

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>>33975595
My gun range is weird and tries to be like a family. they have cookouts in the parking lots, always asking for us to cut the grass, repaint the building, ect on our own free time
I never do any of that shit. Im a total loner. Im polite to everybody but im anti social as fuck when it comes to that stuff. I dont want to talk politics or sports or anything, I just want to shoot and go home. And for the money I give them I shouldnt have to take care of the place for free. So my confession is Im a bit of an asshole to the only gun range near me

also, they do raffles every few months and I usually win. Since im not a poor fag I buy a bulk amount of tickets and only loose like 30 dollars but win really nice guns. I often re-sell those to local shops for better stuff or discounts. Ive since turned in
>kel tec 9mm collapsible rifle
>two Remington 1911s
>a 686 smith and wesson
I ran into one of the range guys at a store when I was selling one of them, he gave me the most disgusted look

>>33983189
Senator finestine pls go.

>>33977051
nothing wrong in what you're doing. If it happened once it can happen again. I wouldn't call that being paranoid.

>I live in a noguns shithole
>the gun "community" is made out of retarded fudds and mall ninja tryhards that don't know shit and are also bootlickers
>I'm mildly autistic and can't make real friends because I'm terrible at talking to normies
>considered suicide a few times

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All the girls I know shoot better than me :(

>>33984101
is the gun community you're taking about called /k/? It sounds like it.

>>33986944
>tfw can't hit anything at 100 yards
>tfw only hit target about 35% of the time with shit grouping at 50 yards

>>33983545
I wish I could post so I could call you a faggot

I'm Australian and I own four guns

>>33986960
No. /k/ is heaven compared to the gun community here. I'm talking the kind of submissive idiots that favor gun control and registration, take pride in jumping through hoops to get a shitty overpriced garbage gun as if being a 'licensed shooter' puts them in another social level. The entire country is shit and corrupt, and I don't fit in very well in the community since I'm not a socialist piece of shit.
Also illegal guns are easy to get if you know normies but I'm mildly autistic and don't like being around people so not even ghetto blasters for me